Looking for Her (2022) Movie Script
1
[alarm clock beeps]
[Taylor yawns]
[upbeat holiday music plays]
Okay.
[Taylor typing]
Good morning.
It's 8:30.
Thank you.
No, you said you had to be
at work at nine last night.
Shit. Okay. Yeah. I got it.
You got it.
Yes, I do.
Oh, we're good.
Okay.
Okay.
-Sweater. Sweater?
-Sweater?
-Sweater.
-Sweater.
Sweater. Where's my sweater?
Found sweater?
[Olive spits water]
Rent's due on Thursday.
Good job. Good job saying that.
[car engine sputters]
Oh, fuck.
Oh God.
[car engine sputters]
Come on, baby. Come on. Come on.
Oh, you got this!
Oh, so freaking
close. Okay, come on.
Come on.
[car engine sputters]
[car turns on]
Yes!
Okay.
Oh. Oh.
Okay.
I am so sorry.
What was it this time?
Another audition that was
more important than your job?
My car.
You know what? I'm not
gonna give you any excuses.
Except, the weirdest thing
happened on my way here.
I was in my car, right?
And I see this older guy
in a Santa suit.
And he waves a stick
around like it's a wand.
And then, poof! My car starts.
I mean, that's not why I'm
late, but weird nonetheless.
That is odd.
I know, right?
Well, holidays are a weird time.
Yeah.
- Yeah.
Thank you.
Did you know that earwax
is actually a type of sweat?
Is that what you're writing on?
No. I saw that doctor again.
You said you weren't going back.
I can't help it.
The man is a walking
encyclopedia in the worst of
times, but, physically,
he is Clarke Gable in
Gone with the Wind .
You know, I've seen
that movie once.
Well, actually, I put the second
tape in first by accident.
I was utterly confused
the whole time,
and I have never been
able to watch it since.
"As God as my witness, I
will never go hungry again!"
You had to be there.
History of ugly
Christmas sweaters.
Outdone.
Holiday date ideas, top 10.
No, top five, give them
something they can actually
accomplish.
Nobody will do that.
Cynic.
What?
You're being a cynic.
I am not.
This is how you get
around this time of year.
I do not.
Is it too early for lunch?
Yes!
Okay, fine, but only if we go to
that Thai place with
the little corn
fritters and that
spicy peanut sauce.
- Okay.
- Okay.
[upbeat holiday score plays]
[Santa's bell rings]
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
[sentimental score plays]
[Answering Machine]
You have two new messages.
[Dad Voicemail]
Hey, kiddo. It's your dad.
[Answering Machine]
Message deleted.
[Answering Machine beeps]
[Jess Voicemail]
Hey, what's going on?
I don't know
what's up with your cell. I
haven't been able to reach you.
Just wondering when I can
pick up the rest of my stuff?
Uh... Okay. Call me back.
[Answering Machine]
End of messages.
[Answering Machine beeps]
What is happening today?
[sentimental score plays]
[classic movie plays]
[microwave beeps]
[Jess Voicemail]
What's going on?
I don't know
what's up with your cell.
I haven't been able
to reach you.
Just wondering when I can
pick up the rest of my stuff?
Uh...
Okay, call me back.
[mimicking]
Okay, call me back.
[mimicking]
Hey, girl.
[mimicking]
Hey.
[mimicking]
What's going on?
Oh my God.
What am I doing? Okay.
Hey. What's going on?
Hey.
What made you finally text me?
Your stuff. You
said you needed it.
Yeah, but we haven't
talked in like a month.
You broke up with me.
Yeah, but that doesn't mean we
have to stop talking completely.
Doesn't it?
Are you drunk?
No.
And even if I was, that's
none of your business.
I could come in and
have a drink with you.
Uhm.
Hey.
Hey.
I'm so sorry. Were you sleeping?
No, I was reading.
Okay.
I was!
How was it?
It was awesome. Oh my God.
-You won't believe
what happened.
-What?
Oh, no, what?
You remember Anna?
Yeah.
Well, I may have gotten
a little smooch.
No.
Yeah.
-Really?
-Yeah.
How's this? How's the script?
Yeah, not great.
Is it paid?
A little.
I mean, baby, that's called a
silver lining in show business.
-Goodnight.
-Goodnight.
Silly.
[sentimental score plays]
[knocking on door]
Hi.
Hi.
So, I was thinking. Do you mind
if I actually do the holiday
date idea?
Just an idea, but I think
it would be kind of sweet.
And, it gives me an
excuse to take Dan out.
Sure.
You okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
What's going on?
Nothing. It's just uh...
I saw Jess last night.
No. Where?
She picked up the
rest of her things.
Good.
Yeah.
Well, that's good, right?
Yeah. It is.
It just-
It seems like a lot of
people are popping up.
It's the holidays.
People are lonely.
Did you read that article in
The Times last week about
the man in Virginia?
They called it "Last Christmas."
Um, no.
I think you're one of the last
people that seems to read a
tangible paper.
That is not true.
You can lose your
internet connection.
What happens when you
go into the Subway?
Lost connection.
The frustration.
You'll see, this online
thing is going to die out.
Well, I hope not, for
the sake of our jobs.
Yeah, well, anyway. So, this
boy-- Man, had a normal
upbringing, so they say.
He keeps making excuses to
his family about Christmas,
saying how his job won't
let him have the time off.
And how awful they are
to him. Blah, blah, blah.
So, his grandma is dying, right?
And, that's her last Christmas
wish: to see her grandson.
Long story short, he doesn't
make it, and grandma died.
Then, they read in the paper on
Christmas morning, "Man Wanted."
It turns out, he was the owner
of a sex ring.
They had to turn him in
They never saw him again.
That's an awful story.
You never know, you know?
You never know.
So, I have four of the five
Christmas date ideas,
but I'm stuck on the last one.
Okay. What do you have?
Getting a Christmas tree.
Baking Christmas cookies.
Making snow angels or leaf
angels, depending on your
location.
And some kind of by
the fire soiree.
Do the ugly Christmas sweater
idea that you had,
combine the two.
Yeah?
Yeah. It works.
For some people.
Okay, dad. Let's do this.
Nope.
I can't do it.
[phone rings]
[Dad on phone]
Taylor?
[Dad on phone]
Taylor?
Hi, dad. Yeah, it's me.
[Dad on phone]
Hi, sweetheart.
Hi.
Oh, God. I hate it
when you do that.
I feel alive!
-Do I have to take out all the
middles now, so you don't
do it again?
I don't know. Let's see
your strategy, huh?
Well, okay.
Well, what am I doing?
Oh, here, it's my turn.
So, are you going to be
around this holiday season?
Mm-hm. I think I'm going to
stick around this year,
you know?
Watch over the place,
make a little money.
My parents have basically guilt
tripped me into going back. So,
I'm flying out in a few weeks.
Oh, gotcha.
- Yeah.
So, with the cost of flights
and everything, I can't really
pay any extra rent this month.
Oh, yeah. Of course.
I have it covered.
Want some?
- No.
Okay, I'll go.
It's because you said no.
[Dad on phone]
I miss you.
Yeah, I miss you too.
[Dad on phone]
Are you happy?
Yeah, I'm happy.
[Dad on phone]
Well, good.
Well, what do you say?
Will you come for Christmas?
I don't know, I wasn't
exactly welcome last time.
[Dad on phone] Yes, I know,
but it's been
two or three years?
Your mom says three.
That's way too long, Taylor.
We're sorry
about that. We really are.
Don't you think it's time
we put all of that behind us?
I don't know.
[Dad on phone] We want you
to bring your girlfriend
with you. Jess.
You told him what?
I panicked, okay?
They used to refuse to say
her name, like it was
some awful word,
and he just threw it in there.
Like it was nothing.
Like it was so easy.
I panicked.
So, call him back. Tell
them you broke up.
And admit defeat? No way,
you do not know my parents.
Then what are you going to do?
I don't know, I haven't
thought that far ahead.
I guess, I could ask Jess.
No, no, no. Not a good idea.
Yeah, bad idea.
You could, we could,
you could--
What about Amy? She
knows numbers.
And, how would you convince Amy?
You could pay her.
She is in finance.
Wow.
What? It's just an idea.
You could do it!
And tell Dan what? That I'm
spending my holidays with my
lesbian boss?
Yeah, you're right.
You can find someone.
I mean, look at you.
I don't want any complications.
I am not ready for that.
Then...
Hire someone.
What?
You said you weren't ready!
I know, but--
And they'd be working for you,
so you wouldn't have to
worry about complications.
Actors don't do that.
They don't do real life jobs.
It could be like an experimental
theatre performance.
They'd eat it up.
Maybe I could put it on some
dating sites, you know?
Screen it, and then
see what happens?
Yeah.
-Yeah. Yeah.
-Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Let's see.
Potential Christmas dates.
Okay.
Lilly.
Not right.
Okay.
Woah. Okay. Okay. Oh,
you know where you live.
[knocking]
Hi!
Look who's here.
Oh, and he's gone.
And there's an extra little
bonus in there for Christmas.
Wow, thank you. Okay,
bye Snowball. Bye.
-Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas.
Come on.
Alrighty.
Are you excited to see your dad?
What's he doing?
Tie leash on door.
Happy Holidays.
[dog whines]
I'm not going to do that to you.
Hi. Just one second, okay?
One second, I promise. Promise.
[Sexy Santa] Ho ho ho.
Somebody's been naughty today.
[Mrs. Claus]
Oh, I have been a naughty girl.
[laughs]
[Mrs. Claus]
Oh, come get me Santa.
Are you ready? No, I
want that on you.
Okay, you're going to run.
Go, Bowser, go. Go!
I don't know why I keep seeing
Santa Claus everywhere.
I mean, it's kind of cute that
after all of these years,
they're still keeping
the love alive.
And at least Mrs. Claus
was in the picture this time.
-Okay, that's true.
-Yeah.
Oops.
-Cheers.
-Cheers.
Oh, I needed that.
I know it's not everything,
but I am working on it.
Thanks.
And here.
I'm worried.
Is this a kinky thing?
It got a little broken, but,
as a kid, I used to suck down
the end part and turn
them into swords.
On guard.
Maybe not with that one.
[Taylor's phone rings]
[Answering Machine] Please leave
a message after the tone.
[Answering Machine beeps]
[Dad Voicemail] Hey Taylor.
I guess I missed you again.
I just wanted to
touch base on dates with you.
I was just talking to mom
and we're just so
excited to see you,
the both of you.
I love you, girl.
Oh, this is your dad.
Okay.
Okay.
Let's do this. Let's do this.
Okay. Claudia.
[Taylor types]
I'm sorry. I'm so nervous.
That's okay. I'm
kind of nervous too.
I know, I just haven't been
on a date in four years.
This isn't a date. You
did read my profile, right?
I did, but I don't know, it
feels like a date. Doesn't it
feel like a date to you?
[Claudia laughs hysterically]
So, are you Taylor?
Yes?
Is anyone else here with you?
No.
Alright, good.
So, how are we going to do this?
How are you going to pay me?
I haven't gotten that far yet.
So, what's the plan?
Well, just like my profile said,
we would drive to my parents'
house, and you would pretend to
be my girlfriend.
So, we're going to trick your
parents, and then we're going to
take their money.
No! Oh my God! No. No,
I'm going to pay you.
So, is it a wire transfer? Or an
app? Because I don't do apps.
You don't use apps?
Sorry, how did you find
out about-- Never mind.
Okay.
Thank you for coming.
So, I did bring some of
my dietary restrictions,
nothing too crazy, just
a little breakdown.
No problem.
No gluten, absolutely
no gluten, no dairy.
I prefer a meatless household.
But, tofu turkey, I promise,
you're going to love it.
It's going to be great.
No, I appreciate this.
Oh, and I am going
to bring Snowflake.
Snowflake?
Snowflake is my cat.
This is my sweet angel
Snowflake. Hi baby.
She also has some
dietary restrictions,
but I will be taking care
of that, don't worry.
That's a good girl. She's
such a sweet girl. Hi baby.
[cat hisses]
I am Jess.
I'm here to audition for
the part of Jess, the ex.
Oh my God.
I have an extensive background
in Meisner and clowning,
so I'll be bringing both. Yeah.
-Okay.
-Mm-hm.
Um...Clowning?
Yeah.
Like mime-work or...?
Oh, I like to enter with a
secret, so, you won't know.
Oh.
Yes.
And you can just tell me right
now if I've booked. I feel like
I have.
You can tell me I've booked.
I booked the part of ex.
And I can meet the family.
This is me meeting
your mom. Mom.
Pretty good.
-That's great.
-Thank you.
And this is dad. Dad.
I'm sorry.
It's okay. Allergies?
[crying] It's just the
holidays, you know?
This always seems to happen.
Oh.
It's going to be okay.
No. Uh uh.
No. No.
No. Absolutely not. Thank you.
Thank you.
"Looking for her,
you, a holiday date."
"Actress wanted to pose as my
significant other for the
holidays."
"A thousand dollars
for the week."
"Woman for woman.
You put me in the personals?!
It's cute, right? It's like a
little missed connection, but
for actors.
I am not that desperate.
I didn't mean that.
Look, Dan and I met 20 years
ago. It was normal back then.
Yes, of course, 20 years ago.
Nobody reads these anymore.
-And if they do--
-I do.
You read them in the
morning for a laugh,
you don't think the people
writing them are
actually serious.
If someone takes the time
to type something up
and then sends it
off to be printed.
How do you get more
serious than that?
I can't. I have
exhausted all options.
Exactly.
I can't. I just--
I'm going to be honest.
I'm going to tell my parents.
I'm sorry you had to--
It was fun anyway, exhilarating
really, seeing what I wrote out
there in print.
You keep this. I made
four more copies.
[upbeat holidays music plays]
I am so sorry. I
had to get a jump.
It wouldn't start, and I
know that's a problem,
but I'm going to take it in as
soon as we get paid on Friday.
Olive.
Yes?
Oh, please don't. Please don't.
It's the third time this week.
I know, but I promise you,
it won't happen again.
That's what you said last
week and the week before.
It's always something with you.
You know what my dad said to
me when he gave me this place?
He said, "Don't hire actors."
What did I do? I can't
do it anymore. That's it.
Can I just work today?
And then you won't see me again.
Oh, I promise you that,
you won't.
I can't do it,
Olive. This is it.
You're sure about this?
Well, I'm keeping the hat.
And I'm taking this with me.
Actors.
I'm fine. Everything's fine.
[car engine sputters]
[car engine sputters]
Come on.
[car engine sputters]
You piece of crap!
Oh, you're not. You're not.
Oh my God. Please
just start. Please.
Please. Please. Please. Please.
[car engine sputters]
Oh my God.
[thunder roars]
Really?
I'm a customer.
"I saw you at the grocery store,
you were wearing a yellow dress,
it was winter."
"I thought to myself, 'A sunny
day in my cloudy life."
"This was 10 years ago
now." 10 years! Move on.
"Need a cleaning lady who
will dress as Santa Claus."
I could do that.
I could do that.
No. What are you
doing? Stop. No.
"Looking for her. You."
"A holiday date."
"Actress wanted to pose as my
significant other for the
holidays."
"One thousand dollars a week."
Here it goes.
Hi dad.
Yeah, sorry.
Work is good.
Yeah.
Yeah, about that.
I uhm--
[email notification]
I uh--
I am just wondering if
the 22nd would work?
Yeah?
Okay. Perfect.
Okay. I love you too. Bye.
"Hi, my name is Olive. I'm a
professional actor. Hoping this
is a serious ad,
but I do own a Santa
hat just in case."
Have you been helped?
Not yet.
No?
What can I get you?
Just some coffee please.
Coffee? Coming right up.
Alright.
Here you go.
Cream and sugar is in
the middle of the counter.
Okay. Let's see.
Coffee beans. Coffee beans.
Where the heck did you
put these, Randy? Dammit.
[kitchen items clanking]
What are you doing back here?
You had a customer.
You're welcome.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, hold on. I got to get this.
Hello?
Hi. I'm at the cafe. I'm
sitting at the bar.
What? Who is this?
It's Taylor.
Taylor?
Oh my God.
Sorry, I didn't know
you worked here.
Oh, I don't. I'm just
helping an old friend.
Olive.
Taylor.
Taylor.
You're a woman.
I am. It did say that in the ad.
Oh, right. That's the smudged
out part I couldn't read then.
What?
Oh, nothing.
Is that okay?
Yes, I'm relieved. I thought it
was going to be some serial
killer, so,
this is a very good surprise.
Coffee?
Sure.
Yeah? Cool.
I could still be one, you know?
What?
A serial killer.
Oh, right.
Not convincing?
No. No, not really.
So, what are you doing by
putting an ad out in the
Classifieds?
I mean, what year is it again?
Well, why are you reading them?
Well, I asked you first.
I didn't put the--
My friend put--
It's a long story.
Right.
And I got kind of desperate.
Oh, God. I didn't
mean that. I'm sorry.
It's okay.
Do you have any questions
about the job?
Yes, I do.
I do.
How long is it?
About a week, but you will be
paid for a full week
no matter what.
Okay.
And you have a working car?
I do.
Okay. Let's meet mom and dad.
-Yeah?
-Wait.
Should we maybe talk
about this more?
[Olive]
Sure, what about?
[Taylor] I don't know. What
kind of acting do you do?
[Olive]
Oh, anything really. I mean,
[Olive] I read it first
to make sure I like it.
[Olive]
Production has been really slow
[Olive]
because of the holidays though.
[Taylor]
Isn't that hard?
[Olive]
What?
[Taylor]
Relying on others for work?
[Olive] I guess I don't
really think about it.
[Olive] I guess the
passion outweighs the
[Olive] other bullshit
that goes along with it.
[Taylor]
I could never do it.
[Olive]
No?
[Taylor]
Mm-mm.
[Olive]
Well, you're about to.
[Taylor]
I guess that's true.
Do you mind if I...?
-No. Do whatever you want.
-Okay. Cool.
Cookie?
No, thank you.
So, tell me your life story.
-My life story?
Yeah!
It's kind of a lot
to go through.
How long did you and Jess date?
Two years.
Okay, so, tell me about
the past two years then.
I don't know.
No?
Do I have to act like Jess
or did they never meet her?
-No.
-No?
No, so you can still be you,
just with a new name
and a new job.
Okay. And girlfriend.
And girlfriend.
So, what is my job?
Jess is a software developer.
Okay.
And what does that mean?
They are not going to ask
you about that, don't worry.
What do you do?
I work at an online newspaper.
So, you are a newspaper
aficionado. Pretty much.
Yeah, I guess so.
Yeah.
["O Christmas Tree" plays]
[Olive]
Can I turn it up?
[Olive] This is my
favorite Christmas song.
[Taylor]
Yeah. Wait, this
[Taylor]
is your favorite Christmas song?
[Taylor] This is nobody's
favorite Christmas song.
[Olive]
Exactly.
[Olive singing] O Christmas
tree, O Christmas tree.
Yep, I sound just like it.
Favorite weather?
Favorite weather?
Weather. It tells you
a lot about a person.
Hot. Hot and sunny.
Okay.
So, what does that say about me?
Yes, that means, you
like a high temperature weather.
Favorite movie?
Gone with the Wind.
Oh, no.
Easy. Yeah.
[Olive]
Why is that funny?
[Taylor]
What is it with people and
[Taylor]
Gone with the Wind?
[Olive]
It's timeless.
[Taylor]
I don't get it.
[Olive]
You have these two truly
[Olive]
complicated characters.
[Olive] I mean, their presence
alone together creates
[Olive] this completely
emotional tension.
[Olive]
I mean, there's a reason
it's a classic.
I got peckish.
Okay.
[Olive]
How long do we have?
[Taylor]
About an hour.
[Olive]
Okay.
[Olive] Are you sure you
don't want me to drive?
[Taylor]
I'm okay.
[Olive snores]
Olive.
Olive.
Sorry.
We're here.
Okay.
You ready?
Yeah.
Are you?
Just call me Jess.
Okay.
Let's do this.
Okay.
Hey.
Hi!
Hi!
Hi.
Hey, sweetie.
Hi, sweetheart.
Hi.
Jess.
Jess?
Hug?
Yes, we are huggers.
-Hey, I want to get
one of those.
-Hi.
So good to finally
meet you, Frank.
You too.
-Hey, sweetie.
-Hi.
Mistletoe.
Come on, guys. You
know what to do.
First of many.
Oh my God, you guys
must be starving.
Jess, do you want to
help me in the kitchen?
Sure.
Alright, come on. Let's go.
[Olive]
Oh, it's nice.
[Mom]
Thanks.
[Taylor]
Oh, God.
[Olive]
What?
[Taylor]
What do you mean what?
[Taylor]
You know what? Nothing. Nothing.
Why don't you go
help your father.
Are you okay?
Oh, yeah. Cheryl and I are going
to do a little girl talk.
-Yeah, we are.
-Yeah.
Great.
Thanks. If you could put those
on the table, that
would be awesome.
Thank you so much.
Dad?
-In here.
I can take Jess' things
to the guest room.
Don't be silly. We're
not that Prehistoric.
When did that happen?
What'd you say, hon?
Nothing. Nothing.
[Olive]
Where do you want them?
[Mom]
That's really really helpful.
[Mom]
Dinner's ready!
[Taylor]
Coming!
So, I packed my bags and
said I'm not going back.
And so young.
Yeah.
Are your parents still there?
No, my mom is in Phoenix
and my dad is in Minneapolis.
All over the place.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
And all for software developing.
Yeah. I knew that's
what I wanted to do.
That's great.
What does it involve,
software development?
That may be a stupid question.
It's not a stupid question.
You know, I do ask
myself that some days.
[Frank laughs]
It's kind of complicated.
It has these intricacies--
Is there any dessert?
You never eat dessert.
It's not for me. It's for
Jess. Jess loves dessert.
It's true, I do love dessert.
Let her have dessert.
What? I wasn't saying that
she couldn't have dessert,
I was merely stating that she
doesn't normally indulge.
-So, let her indulge.
Let them both. Cheryl.
-I never said--
How'd you know that
I love dessert?
Your snack choices.
Were you any good?
So, no?
Top or bottom?
What was that?
The bed.
Oh, right. I am
fine with either.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
I thought you'd have
your own bedroom.
No, that's okay.
They seem nice, not
judgmental or anything.
Yeah, they do.
-Why couldn't you--
-Goodnight.
Night.
Good morning.
Good morning, honey.
Morning.
-Hi.
-Croissant?
Oh, yes, please.
-Hot.
-Oh!
And there's chocolate inside?
What a good surprise.
What time did you get up?
Six.
Oh!
We always get up early in this
family, early risers, always
have been.
I like to get out early,
get in the garden.
You know, we have carrots
and kale growing right now.
If I get out there
really, really, early,
sometimes I can see some
deer running around.
Aww.
-That's so cute.
-I know.
Cute. Cute.
Do you still have work to do?
Yeah, I'm just finishing
up a couple of edits.
This one, she is always
working, even on vacation.
Well, I learned from the best.
Don't work too long, we're going
to go pick out a tree in an hour
or so.
Oh! Looking forward to it!
Okay.
How are you doing? Are you okay?
Yeah.
I'm sorry, I should
be asking you that.
This is actually fun.
[snow crunching]
We could just go to
the lot, you know?
No. No. This is
tradition, you know that.
How about this one?
Not right.
Wait, this one's nice.
No.
What'd she say? No?
Hang on. Hang on.
-Are you good?
-Yes.
-Are you?
-I'm good.
Honey, how about this one?
How about this one?
I don't like it.
What's wrong with it, mom?
It's not full enough.
Where?
Right there.
I don't see it.
Right there.
Where?
Right there.
I don't see it.
All we have to do is turn that
part toward the wall. Nobody
will see it.
Fine.
Jess?
Snow angel.
Okay.
Really?
Come on.
Fake tree it is.
That one's pretty.
That looks good.
This is looking very nice
back here. I don't know about--
What do you think?
It looks weird, doesn't
it? No? Maybe it's okay.
Oh, no, no, no. Taylor,
that's too low.
-Okay.
-It looks crazy.
-There you go, Cheryl.
-Thank you. Thank you.
Oh my gosh. You made this?
I did, yes, but mother likes
to put these ones in the back.
Wait, let me see.
Let me see. What?
Aw, put that in the front.
Since when?
I like an eclectic tree now.
What was Taylor like as a kid?
Bossy.
I was not. I was particular.
We called her Pistol.
Pistol?
She knew what she liked
and she knew what she didn't.
Oh, wait.
She also had braces
for about 10 years.
Oh my goodness, so sweet.
No.
This looks a little crooked,
don't you think?
Does it look a little
crooked to you?
-Yeah!
Not really.
-No?
-No.
Okay.
I see it, it's kind of
leaning to the left.
Mm. Eh. It's alright, oh well.
Tell me how the two
of you met again?
-Oh.
-Oh. Uhm.
I was shopping at the--
-The store.
- The mall.
Yeah, at a store in the mall.
-Yes.
-Yeah.
I was buying a present for my--
-My mom.
-Dad.
My parents. I couldn't
figure out what to get them.
And then, I hear this person
talking to herself,
and I mean loudly.
-Oh, She does that.
-She does that.
So I listened to her
talk herself out of this
necklace that she
clearly wanted.
I mean, that's what I
noticed right away,
how her eyes light up when she
looks at the things she loves.
They do.
And uhm, I walked right
up to her.
You didn't.
I did. I did.
And I said,
"You deserve it."
"I don't know you,
but you deserve it."
And it's the necklace
she still wears.
I love that story.
I am so glad that
the two of you met.
Are you?
Of course I am.
Taylor, those two are
too close together.
You know what, why don't I just
not help with the tree? Okay?
Excuse me.
Would you like to help me put
this angel on top of the tree?
-Yes. Okay.
-Get it up there.
There we go.
-It looks great.
-Awesome.
Sorry.
[stairs creaking]
Hey.
Hey.
Are you okay?
Oh, yeah, I just
couldn't sleep. Are you?
Yeah, yeah, same.
I'm going to make us some cocoa.
Oh, no, I'm okay.
Thank you though.
I'm going to make me some cocoa.
Okay.
[tea kettle pouring into mug]
I made too much.
Thank you.
Sure.
I haven't had cocoa since
I was, I don't know, 10?
-Really?
You guys are pretty
traditional, huh?
Oh, you can tell?
A little.
You guys didn't do all of this?
We moved around a lot.
Okay.
You know what we used to do?
What?
Hold on.
Ooh. Yum.
I'll put yours on for you.
Okay.
Here you go.
Thank you.
I just stick it in?
Yeah, you want to hold it in the
yellow part of the flame, so it
doesn't get burnt.
-So, the highest? Okay.
-Yeah.
I like them really burnt.
-Oh yeah?
-Yeah, I meant to do
exactly that.
Okay, then you
just plop them in.
Plop it, huh? Okay.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Okay, that's delicious.
It is, actually.
[sentimental score plays]
Your parents seem
pretty accepting.
Yeah, now.
Why couldn't you tell
them about the breakup?
Growing up, my parents
were not like this.
They held me to the highest
standard with everything
that I did.
And then I came out, and it was
just another disappointment.
I'm sorry.
You know, my brother
always used to tell me that
I grew up with different
parents than he did.
He was the first one out, and
they were overprotective
and strict.
Then, eight years
later, I popped out.
And um...
They'd send me off to whoever
wanted me. They let me do
whatever I wanted to do.
They let me express myself
however I wanted, or needed.
I didn't know you had a brother.
Yeah.
I guess I don't know
very much about you.
Well, what do you want
to know, Miss Taylor?
What do you want to tell me?
Oh, I'll tell you anything.
-You would, wouldn't you?
-Yeah.
Okay, lets start
with growing up.
Ooh. Okay. Growing up.
Okay, so, you know how
your nickname was Pistol?
-Yes.
-Yeah?
Well, mine was Shrimp.
-No.
-Yeah.
I didn't grow until
senior year. I was just tiny.
You're making me nervous.
Not done. What was
the count, Cheryl?
I don't know, 40?
Mom, how many people are coming?
About 10 or so?
Okay, that's like three and
a half cookies a person.
This turkey is too dry. I
knew I should've waited.
Come on, get your
hands off that.
Well, how is it?
Delicious.
Hey, girls.
Hi.
He's a liar. Your
father's a liar.
I've always known that, but I
tell myself it's for the better,
because your mother
is overly sensitive.
Mom.
God, I hope your Aunt Tammy or
your Uncle Harold doesn't bring
that new girlfriend of his.
Candy or Kelly,
whatever her name is.
Your Aunt Tammy is going to
have a fit, and you know what?
I didn't even invite her.
[dryer buzzes]
The tablecloth is
done being fluffed.
Okay, what do you think?
Those are lovely.
Thank you.
I'm going to have to eat it.
Oh, is that the rule?
That's the rule. We can't give
Aunt Tammy half of a snowman,
can we?
-No, you can't.
-Mm-mm.
How is it?
[knocking on door]
Come in.
No, don't say a word.
I mean, it--
You've made it this far, you
don't want to get fired now.
Face it, Taylor, you need me.
Olive?
Hmm?
Why did you get the
cuter ugly sweater?
Your mom loves me.
Yeah, she does.
[indistinct chatter]
Mary?
Keri.
Sherry?
Keri with a K.
Kelly?
Yeah.
Has Uncle Harold
cornered you yet?
No, which one is that?
Uncle Harold.
Go introduce Jess to Aunt Tammy.
-Go! Just go. Please.
-Okay. Come on. Let's go. Yeah.
And then I just told her
to buy the necklace.
And I still wear it. See?
Oh, that's nice.
I should've ended
up with a woman.
Okay.
Yeah, I'd love to.
Hey! What are you kids doing?
-I don't get it.
-I know, he just brought her.
Frank!
Would you please go
wake up your father?
Dad? Dad.
Have you ever been
on a helicopter?
I haven't.
Oh, you need to. Did
Taylor tell you about mine?
She didn't.
It's called the Locomotive.
Wow.
You really should try
it at least once.
I don't know I watch too
many documentaries. Yeah.
This is a beautiful sweater.
[singing together]
Silent night, holy night.
[singing together]
All is calm.
Did you know that Jess
is the first person that
Taylor has ever brought
home to meet us?
She must be something
really special, right Jess?
Who?
Oh, me! Yes. Yeah.
I wish Carl would find someone,
he's always so busy at work.
He will, just give him some
time. He just needs some time.
Time? He's 46.
[clapping]
Did you get everything you
needed? Do you need anything?
Oh, definitely.
Turkey, Kelly?
Oh, no, thank you.
I'm a vegetarian.
What'd she say?
She's a vegetarian!
Oh, well, it's chewy anyway.
Thanks, dad.
What did I do?
You said it was good.
It is good.
It'll be good with
mayonnaise tomorrow.
Where's Tommy?
He wasn't feeling well.
He went to lie down.
What'd you do?
Send him to his room.
I don't live here, grandpa.
Do you think you could find a
nice girl for Carl in the city?
I'll try.
You know, the way you met Jess,
that doesn't just happen
to everyone.
I knew a couple that
met during a robbery.
No, you didn't.
Yes, I did.
Cindy and Manny Ramirez.
I met him in college.
I did.
Cheryl, this green bean
casserole is amazing.
Oh, good. It's the
easiest thing to make.
I could never make
anything this good.
That's because you
use fresh green beans.
You know, they had a--
I believe they had a
couple of classes together.
Who?
Cindy and Manny Ramirez.
He said that he
recognized her eyes
while she was trying to rob the
gas station that he
was working at.
While she was robbing him?
That is not a true story.
Yes, it is.
Do you want some coffee?
No, thanks.
You're awfully quiet
this morning.
Did something happen last night?
No. I'm fine.
Did Uncle Harold do something?
Mom, drop it. Nothing's wrong.
Hey. Did you get all of the dirt
out from under your nails?
Yeah, just about.
-Good. Good.
-Yeah.
I still can't figure out what
happened to that mistletoe. That
is so weird.
Maybe it was a strong wind,
you keep it so cold in here.
I keep it cold so we can
acclimate better when
we go outside.
Oh, speaking of which,
I'm going out to the Christmas
markets later. Do you girls want
to come?
That sounds fun. I'm in.
Yeah.
Taylor?
I can't, I have to
get some work done.
Well, we'll have fun anyway.
Let's see.
Perfect.
[laughing]
Hey dad.
Hey, kiddo.
Are you hungry?
No, thank you.
Do you still have all of
those old VHS tapes?
Don't tell your mom,
I was supposed to get rid of
them, but they're up
in the attic.
What are you looking for?
Have you ever seen
Gone with the Wind ?
Gone with the Wind? Are
you kidding? It's a classic.
"Frankly, my dear, I
don't give a damn."
Right.
You'll like it, it's good.
Okay.
You sure? I can make you one.
-No, thank you.
-No? Okay.
Okay, suit yourself.
I'm surprised you haven't seen
Gone with the Wind . Where
have you been, kiddo?
[classic movie plays]
I saw her going straight
for it. I had to get it.
I've never seen anyone
move that fast.
You can't have Christmas
without caramel corn.
I'm learning so much.
Hey, honey.
Hi.
What's wrong with your eyes?
Why? What's wrong with them?
They're really red.
Oh, no, I was just
sitting by the fire.
Oh, well, smoke follows beauty.
Hey.
Hey.
Are you okay?
How was the market?
Good. Who knew Sears
was still around?
They literally have anything
you could ever need.
[Mom]
Hey, we picked up dinner.
[Mom]
Do you girls want to come eat?
We should go. Yeah?
Yeah.
Okay.
Hello. It looks good, huh?
Hey.
I'm going to go upstairs, I
still have some presents
to wrap.
Dad and I already ate,
so I'm not that hungry.
You said you were starving here.
We watched a movie
and we got hungry.
You called me an hour ago.
I missed you.
Don't even.
[knocking on door]
Is it safe to come in?
-Yes, I'm just finishing up.
-Yeah? Okay.
Well, I brought you
this. Look at that.
Your mom said it
was your favorite.
I pretended I knew that.
Turkey and mashed potatoes,
huh? By the way, I made it.
Yes, and it's delicious.
Yeah?
Yes, thank you.
You'll have to convince
me. I don't know.
Are you sure everything's okay?
I don't think I can
do this anymore.
What do you mean? What is this?
The lie.
Yeah, well, I've been thinking.
I think it's gone a little bit
too far, and I think it would be
better if we stopped.
I'll tell my parents that
something came up at work,
or...
...whatever.
Oh, um...
And I know I owe you a
week's worth. Don't worry,
I'll make sure you get paid.
Taylor, wait. Wait. Hold on.
What if we told them the truth?
I'll do it with you.
It'll be fine, I promise.
I can't.
So, you're just going to keep
up the lie, but without me here.
I don't get it.
I don't know yet. I
haven't thought about that.
What have you thought about?
Have you thought about
anyone else's feelings at all?
That's all I've thought about.
I don't want to hurt them,
and I don't want to hurt you.
I don't know what to do.
Move this.
[Taylor typing]
Good morning.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Wait, what is with this?
You like it?
Did you guys sleep alright? I
know your dad was snoring
like a train.
No, we didn't hear
anything. Did we, Jess?
No, didn't hear a thing.
I made your favorite,
chocolate croissant?
Thank you.
I forgot I have to
use the bathroom.
Dad and I are going to go play
tennis. We'll be back in an hour
or two.
Okay.
You're getting rusty, kid.
Says the guy who just
lost every game.
Not that last one.
Because you got a leg cramp
and you couldn't finish.
I was up though.
Hey, mom?
Hey, how was tennis?
Fine. Where's Jess?
She booked a bus home. She had
some sort of work emergency,
some software
something or other.
She said she texted you.
Oh, okay.
It's Christmas Day. I
thought that was so odd.
She takes her job
really seriously.
We're really going to miss her.
I'm going to head in soon and
make some dinner, okay?
-Okay.
-Alright.
They say it's going to snow
tonight, but, I don't think so.
Your snow senses
aren't going off?
No.
Oh, good. Good. That's one less
thing for me to do tomorrow.
There you go.
[sentimental song plays]
Oh, you didn't! They're the
matching earrings to my
bracelet.
Open yours. Open it. Open it.
Open it.
Sorry about the box,
it's all they had.
Put it on. Put it on. Put it on.
You rolled up the sleeves
for me? How thoughtful.
I know you like them that way.
Taylor, doesn't your
father look good in blue?
So handsome. Open the
present from Uncle Harold.
From Uncle Harold? How nice.
What the hell is this?
It's one of those new things
that you do your teeth with.
It's a hip new thing.
I have a toothbrush.
[phone ringing]
[voicemail greeting]
Is everything okay?
Yeah. Yeah, everything's fine.
You know, parent do know things.
Yeah? What kind of things?
I knew you were gay
when you were little.
I just knew.
Then why did you react
the way that you did?
Just because we're parents,
doesn't mean we
don't have faults.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't
have the right words to say.
I'm so sorry.
I know we're getting older,
Taylor, but we're still growing.
I'm sorry I shut you guys out.
I always do that.
I shut people out.
No, no, no. It's okay.
You just needed time.
Maybe that's all your
girlfriend needs, some time.
Who? Jess?
Sure.
No, I don't know. I think I
really screwed it up, mom.
I lied.
I know.
What do you know?
I saw your girlfriend Jess on
your social media page, I knew
that wasn't her.
Why didn't you say anything?
You two seemed so happy and
you looked so cute together. I
didn't want to do what
I always do.
It'll be okay, okay? It'll be
okay. It's going to be great.
[Dad]
I agree! Love you, honey!
No, I'm still a couple of hours
out. What were you saying?
[Marge speakerphone]
8:30, 9:30.
[Marge speakerphone]
What's the difference?
A measly hour?
Yeah, exactly, that
is the difference.
[Marge speakerphone]
He owes us anyway,
we weren't supposed
to have an end of
the year deadline.
He does this every year.
[Marge speakerphone]
And every year,
I'll complain about it.
So, I'll see you at 8:30?
[call cutting out]
Marge? Marge?
[call dropped]
[O Christmas tree
plays on radio]
[phone ringing]
[voicemail greeting]
I just wanted to let you know
that the meeting has been moved
to 12:30.
Bob had some connection
issues this morning.
Okay.
Thai today?
Sure.
You got it.
[sentimental score plays]
That's what I said.
Well, what did she say?
She said-- You want to
know what she said?
-I do. I have to know
what she said.
-Yeah.
What'd she say?!
She said-
Shoot.
She said, "And I don't like
your attitude very much either."
That's it?
That was it.
I mean, I like it.
Yeah?
Yeah, I think it's compelling.
-Yeah, right? It is.
-Yeah.
It's um--
You know, it's--
It pays really well.
There you go.
That's all.
-That's it.
-Yeah.
I need another one.
Okay, I'll grab you one.
Oh, thank you.
[remote beeps]
Gone with the Wind.
["Auld Lang Syne" plays]
Your daddy's coming.
-Hi.
-Hi.
Thanks. The same time next week?
Yeah. Bye Lobster. Okay.
See you.
Olive.
Oh, hello.
[NYE countdown]
Wait, wait, wait. Five.
-Four, three, two, one.
-Four, three, two, one.
[party horns honking]
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year!
[knocking on door]
Hi.
Hi. Go to page 12 of
last month's paper.
Why?
Just do it.
It's just your article.
Keep scrolling.
Okay, I'm at the bottom.
Click the comments.
Woah.
Why does it have 300 comments?
Look at them, they
all did the list.
"We didn't have snow,
so we did sand angels."
Aw, isn't that cute?
How did they find it?
I don't know, but I'm
not complaining.
Steve saw it?
I may have sent it to
him a few times around.
Crazy.
[sentimental score plays]
[upbeat holiday song plays]
Is Olive here?
Pink building Olive?
She's probably at home.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi. Does Olive live here?
She does.
She does.
Can I see her?
She's actually not
here right now.
Oh. Okay.
I can tell you where
she's going to be though.
Really?
Yeah, Taylor. Duh.
-I'm Taylor, you know my name.
-I'm Kai.
-Kai, it's so nice to meet you.
-You too.
I love love.
Olive!
I've called you a million times!
My phone got turned off!
Oh!
-I'm gonna--
-Okay!
-Hi.
-Hi.
How are you?
I'm good. How are you?
I'm okay.
Yeah? Just okay?
I booked it.
That audition?
Yeah, pretty big one.
Hey, that's amazing.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
Well, I should head back.
That was the last bus.
Oh, I'll drive you.
You know what? That's
okay. I'm good.
Olive.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for everything. I'm
sorry for dragging you into that
whole mess.
I know I should've been honest,
but I was scared, and I'm sorry.
Look, I went too method with it.
No!
-I get it.
-No.
-You didn't. You didn't.
-I got too involved.
I did.
We did everything on the list.
What list?
The snow angels that you made me
do, the stupid sweaters,
the fire.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
I watched Gone
with the Wind .
You did?
-Three times actually.
-And?
I'm Ashley and you're Rhett.
Who's Scarlett?
Oh.
I mean, no, I'm Scarlett
and you're Rhett.
Oh my God, I can't believe
I just messed that up.
It's okay.
So, what do you say?
Well, what are you asking?
Do you have any
plans for Easter?
Come here.
[sentimental score swells]
Are you ready?
I'm kind of nervous.
Hey, they're going to love you.
Okay.
[everyone greets each other]
Mom, dad, this is Olive.
-Olive.
-Olive.
Welcome to the family. Come in.
Hi Frank.
Hi.
[indistinct chatter]
[music]
[alarm clock beeps]
[Taylor yawns]
[upbeat holiday music plays]
Okay.
[Taylor typing]
Good morning.
It's 8:30.
Thank you.
No, you said you had to be
at work at nine last night.
Shit. Okay. Yeah. I got it.
You got it.
Yes, I do.
Oh, we're good.
Okay.
Okay.
-Sweater. Sweater?
-Sweater?
-Sweater.
-Sweater.
Sweater. Where's my sweater?
Found sweater?
[Olive spits water]
Rent's due on Thursday.
Good job. Good job saying that.
[car engine sputters]
Oh, fuck.
Oh God.
[car engine sputters]
Come on, baby. Come on. Come on.
Oh, you got this!
Oh, so freaking
close. Okay, come on.
Come on.
[car engine sputters]
[car turns on]
Yes!
Okay.
Oh. Oh.
Okay.
I am so sorry.
What was it this time?
Another audition that was
more important than your job?
My car.
You know what? I'm not
gonna give you any excuses.
Except, the weirdest thing
happened on my way here.
I was in my car, right?
And I see this older guy
in a Santa suit.
And he waves a stick
around like it's a wand.
And then, poof! My car starts.
I mean, that's not why I'm
late, but weird nonetheless.
That is odd.
I know, right?
Well, holidays are a weird time.
Yeah.
- Yeah.
Thank you.
Did you know that earwax
is actually a type of sweat?
Is that what you're writing on?
No. I saw that doctor again.
You said you weren't going back.
I can't help it.
The man is a walking
encyclopedia in the worst of
times, but, physically,
he is Clarke Gable in
Gone with the Wind .
You know, I've seen
that movie once.
Well, actually, I put the second
tape in first by accident.
I was utterly confused
the whole time,
and I have never been
able to watch it since.
"As God as my witness, I
will never go hungry again!"
You had to be there.
History of ugly
Christmas sweaters.
Outdone.
Holiday date ideas, top 10.
No, top five, give them
something they can actually
accomplish.
Nobody will do that.
Cynic.
What?
You're being a cynic.
I am not.
This is how you get
around this time of year.
I do not.
Is it too early for lunch?
Yes!
Okay, fine, but only if we go to
that Thai place with
the little corn
fritters and that
spicy peanut sauce.
- Okay.
- Okay.
[upbeat holiday score plays]
[Santa's bell rings]
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
[sentimental score plays]
[Answering Machine]
You have two new messages.
[Dad Voicemail]
Hey, kiddo. It's your dad.
[Answering Machine]
Message deleted.
[Answering Machine beeps]
[Jess Voicemail]
Hey, what's going on?
I don't know
what's up with your cell. I
haven't been able to reach you.
Just wondering when I can
pick up the rest of my stuff?
Uh... Okay. Call me back.
[Answering Machine]
End of messages.
[Answering Machine beeps]
What is happening today?
[sentimental score plays]
[classic movie plays]
[microwave beeps]
[Jess Voicemail]
What's going on?
I don't know
what's up with your cell.
I haven't been able
to reach you.
Just wondering when I can
pick up the rest of my stuff?
Uh...
Okay, call me back.
[mimicking]
Okay, call me back.
[mimicking]
Hey, girl.
[mimicking]
Hey.
[mimicking]
What's going on?
Oh my God.
What am I doing? Okay.
Hey. What's going on?
Hey.
What made you finally text me?
Your stuff. You
said you needed it.
Yeah, but we haven't
talked in like a month.
You broke up with me.
Yeah, but that doesn't mean we
have to stop talking completely.
Doesn't it?
Are you drunk?
No.
And even if I was, that's
none of your business.
I could come in and
have a drink with you.
Uhm.
Hey.
Hey.
I'm so sorry. Were you sleeping?
No, I was reading.
Okay.
I was!
How was it?
It was awesome. Oh my God.
-You won't believe
what happened.
-What?
Oh, no, what?
You remember Anna?
Yeah.
Well, I may have gotten
a little smooch.
No.
Yeah.
-Really?
-Yeah.
How's this? How's the script?
Yeah, not great.
Is it paid?
A little.
I mean, baby, that's called a
silver lining in show business.
-Goodnight.
-Goodnight.
Silly.
[sentimental score plays]
[knocking on door]
Hi.
Hi.
So, I was thinking. Do you mind
if I actually do the holiday
date idea?
Just an idea, but I think
it would be kind of sweet.
And, it gives me an
excuse to take Dan out.
Sure.
You okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
What's going on?
Nothing. It's just uh...
I saw Jess last night.
No. Where?
She picked up the
rest of her things.
Good.
Yeah.
Well, that's good, right?
Yeah. It is.
It just-
It seems like a lot of
people are popping up.
It's the holidays.
People are lonely.
Did you read that article in
The Times last week about
the man in Virginia?
They called it "Last Christmas."
Um, no.
I think you're one of the last
people that seems to read a
tangible paper.
That is not true.
You can lose your
internet connection.
What happens when you
go into the Subway?
Lost connection.
The frustration.
You'll see, this online
thing is going to die out.
Well, I hope not, for
the sake of our jobs.
Yeah, well, anyway. So, this
boy-- Man, had a normal
upbringing, so they say.
He keeps making excuses to
his family about Christmas,
saying how his job won't
let him have the time off.
And how awful they are
to him. Blah, blah, blah.
So, his grandma is dying, right?
And, that's her last Christmas
wish: to see her grandson.
Long story short, he doesn't
make it, and grandma died.
Then, they read in the paper on
Christmas morning, "Man Wanted."
It turns out, he was the owner
of a sex ring.
They had to turn him in
They never saw him again.
That's an awful story.
You never know, you know?
You never know.
So, I have four of the five
Christmas date ideas,
but I'm stuck on the last one.
Okay. What do you have?
Getting a Christmas tree.
Baking Christmas cookies.
Making snow angels or leaf
angels, depending on your
location.
And some kind of by
the fire soiree.
Do the ugly Christmas sweater
idea that you had,
combine the two.
Yeah?
Yeah. It works.
For some people.
Okay, dad. Let's do this.
Nope.
I can't do it.
[phone rings]
[Dad on phone]
Taylor?
[Dad on phone]
Taylor?
Hi, dad. Yeah, it's me.
[Dad on phone]
Hi, sweetheart.
Hi.
Oh, God. I hate it
when you do that.
I feel alive!
-Do I have to take out all the
middles now, so you don't
do it again?
I don't know. Let's see
your strategy, huh?
Well, okay.
Well, what am I doing?
Oh, here, it's my turn.
So, are you going to be
around this holiday season?
Mm-hm. I think I'm going to
stick around this year,
you know?
Watch over the place,
make a little money.
My parents have basically guilt
tripped me into going back. So,
I'm flying out in a few weeks.
Oh, gotcha.
- Yeah.
So, with the cost of flights
and everything, I can't really
pay any extra rent this month.
Oh, yeah. Of course.
I have it covered.
Want some?
- No.
Okay, I'll go.
It's because you said no.
[Dad on phone]
I miss you.
Yeah, I miss you too.
[Dad on phone]
Are you happy?
Yeah, I'm happy.
[Dad on phone]
Well, good.
Well, what do you say?
Will you come for Christmas?
I don't know, I wasn't
exactly welcome last time.
[Dad on phone] Yes, I know,
but it's been
two or three years?
Your mom says three.
That's way too long, Taylor.
We're sorry
about that. We really are.
Don't you think it's time
we put all of that behind us?
I don't know.
[Dad on phone] We want you
to bring your girlfriend
with you. Jess.
You told him what?
I panicked, okay?
They used to refuse to say
her name, like it was
some awful word,
and he just threw it in there.
Like it was nothing.
Like it was so easy.
I panicked.
So, call him back. Tell
them you broke up.
And admit defeat? No way,
you do not know my parents.
Then what are you going to do?
I don't know, I haven't
thought that far ahead.
I guess, I could ask Jess.
No, no, no. Not a good idea.
Yeah, bad idea.
You could, we could,
you could--
What about Amy? She
knows numbers.
And, how would you convince Amy?
You could pay her.
She is in finance.
Wow.
What? It's just an idea.
You could do it!
And tell Dan what? That I'm
spending my holidays with my
lesbian boss?
Yeah, you're right.
You can find someone.
I mean, look at you.
I don't want any complications.
I am not ready for that.
Then...
Hire someone.
What?
You said you weren't ready!
I know, but--
And they'd be working for you,
so you wouldn't have to
worry about complications.
Actors don't do that.
They don't do real life jobs.
It could be like an experimental
theatre performance.
They'd eat it up.
Maybe I could put it on some
dating sites, you know?
Screen it, and then
see what happens?
Yeah.
-Yeah. Yeah.
-Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Let's see.
Potential Christmas dates.
Okay.
Lilly.
Not right.
Okay.
Woah. Okay. Okay. Oh,
you know where you live.
[knocking]
Hi!
Look who's here.
Oh, and he's gone.
And there's an extra little
bonus in there for Christmas.
Wow, thank you. Okay,
bye Snowball. Bye.
-Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas.
Come on.
Alrighty.
Are you excited to see your dad?
What's he doing?
Tie leash on door.
Happy Holidays.
[dog whines]
I'm not going to do that to you.
Hi. Just one second, okay?
One second, I promise. Promise.
[Sexy Santa] Ho ho ho.
Somebody's been naughty today.
[Mrs. Claus]
Oh, I have been a naughty girl.
[laughs]
[Mrs. Claus]
Oh, come get me Santa.
Are you ready? No, I
want that on you.
Okay, you're going to run.
Go, Bowser, go. Go!
I don't know why I keep seeing
Santa Claus everywhere.
I mean, it's kind of cute that
after all of these years,
they're still keeping
the love alive.
And at least Mrs. Claus
was in the picture this time.
-Okay, that's true.
-Yeah.
Oops.
-Cheers.
-Cheers.
Oh, I needed that.
I know it's not everything,
but I am working on it.
Thanks.
And here.
I'm worried.
Is this a kinky thing?
It got a little broken, but,
as a kid, I used to suck down
the end part and turn
them into swords.
On guard.
Maybe not with that one.
[Taylor's phone rings]
[Answering Machine] Please leave
a message after the tone.
[Answering Machine beeps]
[Dad Voicemail] Hey Taylor.
I guess I missed you again.
I just wanted to
touch base on dates with you.
I was just talking to mom
and we're just so
excited to see you,
the both of you.
I love you, girl.
Oh, this is your dad.
Okay.
Okay.
Let's do this. Let's do this.
Okay. Claudia.
[Taylor types]
I'm sorry. I'm so nervous.
That's okay. I'm
kind of nervous too.
I know, I just haven't been
on a date in four years.
This isn't a date. You
did read my profile, right?
I did, but I don't know, it
feels like a date. Doesn't it
feel like a date to you?
[Claudia laughs hysterically]
So, are you Taylor?
Yes?
Is anyone else here with you?
No.
Alright, good.
So, how are we going to do this?
How are you going to pay me?
I haven't gotten that far yet.
So, what's the plan?
Well, just like my profile said,
we would drive to my parents'
house, and you would pretend to
be my girlfriend.
So, we're going to trick your
parents, and then we're going to
take their money.
No! Oh my God! No. No,
I'm going to pay you.
So, is it a wire transfer? Or an
app? Because I don't do apps.
You don't use apps?
Sorry, how did you find
out about-- Never mind.
Okay.
Thank you for coming.
So, I did bring some of
my dietary restrictions,
nothing too crazy, just
a little breakdown.
No problem.
No gluten, absolutely
no gluten, no dairy.
I prefer a meatless household.
But, tofu turkey, I promise,
you're going to love it.
It's going to be great.
No, I appreciate this.
Oh, and I am going
to bring Snowflake.
Snowflake?
Snowflake is my cat.
This is my sweet angel
Snowflake. Hi baby.
She also has some
dietary restrictions,
but I will be taking care
of that, don't worry.
That's a good girl. She's
such a sweet girl. Hi baby.
[cat hisses]
I am Jess.
I'm here to audition for
the part of Jess, the ex.
Oh my God.
I have an extensive background
in Meisner and clowning,
so I'll be bringing both. Yeah.
-Okay.
-Mm-hm.
Um...Clowning?
Yeah.
Like mime-work or...?
Oh, I like to enter with a
secret, so, you won't know.
Oh.
Yes.
And you can just tell me right
now if I've booked. I feel like
I have.
You can tell me I've booked.
I booked the part of ex.
And I can meet the family.
This is me meeting
your mom. Mom.
Pretty good.
-That's great.
-Thank you.
And this is dad. Dad.
I'm sorry.
It's okay. Allergies?
[crying] It's just the
holidays, you know?
This always seems to happen.
Oh.
It's going to be okay.
No. Uh uh.
No. No.
No. Absolutely not. Thank you.
Thank you.
"Looking for her,
you, a holiday date."
"Actress wanted to pose as my
significant other for the
holidays."
"A thousand dollars
for the week."
"Woman for woman.
You put me in the personals?!
It's cute, right? It's like a
little missed connection, but
for actors.
I am not that desperate.
I didn't mean that.
Look, Dan and I met 20 years
ago. It was normal back then.
Yes, of course, 20 years ago.
Nobody reads these anymore.
-And if they do--
-I do.
You read them in the
morning for a laugh,
you don't think the people
writing them are
actually serious.
If someone takes the time
to type something up
and then sends it
off to be printed.
How do you get more
serious than that?
I can't. I have
exhausted all options.
Exactly.
I can't. I just--
I'm going to be honest.
I'm going to tell my parents.
I'm sorry you had to--
It was fun anyway, exhilarating
really, seeing what I wrote out
there in print.
You keep this. I made
four more copies.
[upbeat holidays music plays]
I am so sorry. I
had to get a jump.
It wouldn't start, and I
know that's a problem,
but I'm going to take it in as
soon as we get paid on Friday.
Olive.
Yes?
Oh, please don't. Please don't.
It's the third time this week.
I know, but I promise you,
it won't happen again.
That's what you said last
week and the week before.
It's always something with you.
You know what my dad said to
me when he gave me this place?
He said, "Don't hire actors."
What did I do? I can't
do it anymore. That's it.
Can I just work today?
And then you won't see me again.
Oh, I promise you that,
you won't.
I can't do it,
Olive. This is it.
You're sure about this?
Well, I'm keeping the hat.
And I'm taking this with me.
Actors.
I'm fine. Everything's fine.
[car engine sputters]
[car engine sputters]
Come on.
[car engine sputters]
You piece of crap!
Oh, you're not. You're not.
Oh my God. Please
just start. Please.
Please. Please. Please. Please.
[car engine sputters]
Oh my God.
[thunder roars]
Really?
I'm a customer.
"I saw you at the grocery store,
you were wearing a yellow dress,
it was winter."
"I thought to myself, 'A sunny
day in my cloudy life."
"This was 10 years ago
now." 10 years! Move on.
"Need a cleaning lady who
will dress as Santa Claus."
I could do that.
I could do that.
No. What are you
doing? Stop. No.
"Looking for her. You."
"A holiday date."
"Actress wanted to pose as my
significant other for the
holidays."
"One thousand dollars a week."
Here it goes.
Hi dad.
Yeah, sorry.
Work is good.
Yeah.
Yeah, about that.
I uhm--
[email notification]
I uh--
I am just wondering if
the 22nd would work?
Yeah?
Okay. Perfect.
Okay. I love you too. Bye.
"Hi, my name is Olive. I'm a
professional actor. Hoping this
is a serious ad,
but I do own a Santa
hat just in case."
Have you been helped?
Not yet.
No?
What can I get you?
Just some coffee please.
Coffee? Coming right up.
Alright.
Here you go.
Cream and sugar is in
the middle of the counter.
Okay. Let's see.
Coffee beans. Coffee beans.
Where the heck did you
put these, Randy? Dammit.
[kitchen items clanking]
What are you doing back here?
You had a customer.
You're welcome.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, hold on. I got to get this.
Hello?
Hi. I'm at the cafe. I'm
sitting at the bar.
What? Who is this?
It's Taylor.
Taylor?
Oh my God.
Sorry, I didn't know
you worked here.
Oh, I don't. I'm just
helping an old friend.
Olive.
Taylor.
Taylor.
You're a woman.
I am. It did say that in the ad.
Oh, right. That's the smudged
out part I couldn't read then.
What?
Oh, nothing.
Is that okay?
Yes, I'm relieved. I thought it
was going to be some serial
killer, so,
this is a very good surprise.
Coffee?
Sure.
Yeah? Cool.
I could still be one, you know?
What?
A serial killer.
Oh, right.
Not convincing?
No. No, not really.
So, what are you doing by
putting an ad out in the
Classifieds?
I mean, what year is it again?
Well, why are you reading them?
Well, I asked you first.
I didn't put the--
My friend put--
It's a long story.
Right.
And I got kind of desperate.
Oh, God. I didn't
mean that. I'm sorry.
It's okay.
Do you have any questions
about the job?
Yes, I do.
I do.
How long is it?
About a week, but you will be
paid for a full week
no matter what.
Okay.
And you have a working car?
I do.
Okay. Let's meet mom and dad.
-Yeah?
-Wait.
Should we maybe talk
about this more?
[Olive]
Sure, what about?
[Taylor] I don't know. What
kind of acting do you do?
[Olive]
Oh, anything really. I mean,
[Olive] I read it first
to make sure I like it.
[Olive]
Production has been really slow
[Olive]
because of the holidays though.
[Taylor]
Isn't that hard?
[Olive]
What?
[Taylor]
Relying on others for work?
[Olive] I guess I don't
really think about it.
[Olive] I guess the
passion outweighs the
[Olive] other bullshit
that goes along with it.
[Taylor]
I could never do it.
[Olive]
No?
[Taylor]
Mm-mm.
[Olive]
Well, you're about to.
[Taylor]
I guess that's true.
Do you mind if I...?
-No. Do whatever you want.
-Okay. Cool.
Cookie?
No, thank you.
So, tell me your life story.
-My life story?
Yeah!
It's kind of a lot
to go through.
How long did you and Jess date?
Two years.
Okay, so, tell me about
the past two years then.
I don't know.
No?
Do I have to act like Jess
or did they never meet her?
-No.
-No?
No, so you can still be you,
just with a new name
and a new job.
Okay. And girlfriend.
And girlfriend.
So, what is my job?
Jess is a software developer.
Okay.
And what does that mean?
They are not going to ask
you about that, don't worry.
What do you do?
I work at an online newspaper.
So, you are a newspaper
aficionado. Pretty much.
Yeah, I guess so.
Yeah.
["O Christmas Tree" plays]
[Olive]
Can I turn it up?
[Olive] This is my
favorite Christmas song.
[Taylor]
Yeah. Wait, this
[Taylor]
is your favorite Christmas song?
[Taylor] This is nobody's
favorite Christmas song.
[Olive]
Exactly.
[Olive singing] O Christmas
tree, O Christmas tree.
Yep, I sound just like it.
Favorite weather?
Favorite weather?
Weather. It tells you
a lot about a person.
Hot. Hot and sunny.
Okay.
So, what does that say about me?
Yes, that means, you
like a high temperature weather.
Favorite movie?
Gone with the Wind.
Oh, no.
Easy. Yeah.
[Olive]
Why is that funny?
[Taylor]
What is it with people and
[Taylor]
Gone with the Wind?
[Olive]
It's timeless.
[Taylor]
I don't get it.
[Olive]
You have these two truly
[Olive]
complicated characters.
[Olive] I mean, their presence
alone together creates
[Olive] this completely
emotional tension.
[Olive]
I mean, there's a reason
it's a classic.
I got peckish.
Okay.
[Olive]
How long do we have?
[Taylor]
About an hour.
[Olive]
Okay.
[Olive] Are you sure you
don't want me to drive?
[Taylor]
I'm okay.
[Olive snores]
Olive.
Olive.
Sorry.
We're here.
Okay.
You ready?
Yeah.
Are you?
Just call me Jess.
Okay.
Let's do this.
Okay.
Hey.
Hi!
Hi!
Hi.
Hey, sweetie.
Hi, sweetheart.
Hi.
Jess.
Jess?
Hug?
Yes, we are huggers.
-Hey, I want to get
one of those.
-Hi.
So good to finally
meet you, Frank.
You too.
-Hey, sweetie.
-Hi.
Mistletoe.
Come on, guys. You
know what to do.
First of many.
Oh my God, you guys
must be starving.
Jess, do you want to
help me in the kitchen?
Sure.
Alright, come on. Let's go.
[Olive]
Oh, it's nice.
[Mom]
Thanks.
[Taylor]
Oh, God.
[Olive]
What?
[Taylor]
What do you mean what?
[Taylor]
You know what? Nothing. Nothing.
Why don't you go
help your father.
Are you okay?
Oh, yeah. Cheryl and I are going
to do a little girl talk.
-Yeah, we are.
-Yeah.
Great.
Thanks. If you could put those
on the table, that
would be awesome.
Thank you so much.
Dad?
-In here.
I can take Jess' things
to the guest room.
Don't be silly. We're
not that Prehistoric.
When did that happen?
What'd you say, hon?
Nothing. Nothing.
[Olive]
Where do you want them?
[Mom]
That's really really helpful.
[Mom]
Dinner's ready!
[Taylor]
Coming!
So, I packed my bags and
said I'm not going back.
And so young.
Yeah.
Are your parents still there?
No, my mom is in Phoenix
and my dad is in Minneapolis.
All over the place.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
And all for software developing.
Yeah. I knew that's
what I wanted to do.
That's great.
What does it involve,
software development?
That may be a stupid question.
It's not a stupid question.
You know, I do ask
myself that some days.
[Frank laughs]
It's kind of complicated.
It has these intricacies--
Is there any dessert?
You never eat dessert.
It's not for me. It's for
Jess. Jess loves dessert.
It's true, I do love dessert.
Let her have dessert.
What? I wasn't saying that
she couldn't have dessert,
I was merely stating that she
doesn't normally indulge.
-So, let her indulge.
Let them both. Cheryl.
-I never said--
How'd you know that
I love dessert?
Your snack choices.
Were you any good?
So, no?
Top or bottom?
What was that?
The bed.
Oh, right. I am
fine with either.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
I thought you'd have
your own bedroom.
No, that's okay.
They seem nice, not
judgmental or anything.
Yeah, they do.
-Why couldn't you--
-Goodnight.
Night.
Good morning.
Good morning, honey.
Morning.
-Hi.
-Croissant?
Oh, yes, please.
-Hot.
-Oh!
And there's chocolate inside?
What a good surprise.
What time did you get up?
Six.
Oh!
We always get up early in this
family, early risers, always
have been.
I like to get out early,
get in the garden.
You know, we have carrots
and kale growing right now.
If I get out there
really, really, early,
sometimes I can see some
deer running around.
Aww.
-That's so cute.
-I know.
Cute. Cute.
Do you still have work to do?
Yeah, I'm just finishing
up a couple of edits.
This one, she is always
working, even on vacation.
Well, I learned from the best.
Don't work too long, we're going
to go pick out a tree in an hour
or so.
Oh! Looking forward to it!
Okay.
How are you doing? Are you okay?
Yeah.
I'm sorry, I should
be asking you that.
This is actually fun.
[snow crunching]
We could just go to
the lot, you know?
No. No. This is
tradition, you know that.
How about this one?
Not right.
Wait, this one's nice.
No.
What'd she say? No?
Hang on. Hang on.
-Are you good?
-Yes.
-Are you?
-I'm good.
Honey, how about this one?
How about this one?
I don't like it.
What's wrong with it, mom?
It's not full enough.
Where?
Right there.
I don't see it.
Right there.
Where?
Right there.
I don't see it.
All we have to do is turn that
part toward the wall. Nobody
will see it.
Fine.
Jess?
Snow angel.
Okay.
Really?
Come on.
Fake tree it is.
That one's pretty.
That looks good.
This is looking very nice
back here. I don't know about--
What do you think?
It looks weird, doesn't
it? No? Maybe it's okay.
Oh, no, no, no. Taylor,
that's too low.
-Okay.
-It looks crazy.
-There you go, Cheryl.
-Thank you. Thank you.
Oh my gosh. You made this?
I did, yes, but mother likes
to put these ones in the back.
Wait, let me see.
Let me see. What?
Aw, put that in the front.
Since when?
I like an eclectic tree now.
What was Taylor like as a kid?
Bossy.
I was not. I was particular.
We called her Pistol.
Pistol?
She knew what she liked
and she knew what she didn't.
Oh, wait.
She also had braces
for about 10 years.
Oh my goodness, so sweet.
No.
This looks a little crooked,
don't you think?
Does it look a little
crooked to you?
-Yeah!
Not really.
-No?
-No.
Okay.
I see it, it's kind of
leaning to the left.
Mm. Eh. It's alright, oh well.
Tell me how the two
of you met again?
-Oh.
-Oh. Uhm.
I was shopping at the--
-The store.
- The mall.
Yeah, at a store in the mall.
-Yes.
-Yeah.
I was buying a present for my--
-My mom.
-Dad.
My parents. I couldn't
figure out what to get them.
And then, I hear this person
talking to herself,
and I mean loudly.
-Oh, She does that.
-She does that.
So I listened to her
talk herself out of this
necklace that she
clearly wanted.
I mean, that's what I
noticed right away,
how her eyes light up when she
looks at the things she loves.
They do.
And uhm, I walked right
up to her.
You didn't.
I did. I did.
And I said,
"You deserve it."
"I don't know you,
but you deserve it."
And it's the necklace
she still wears.
I love that story.
I am so glad that
the two of you met.
Are you?
Of course I am.
Taylor, those two are
too close together.
You know what, why don't I just
not help with the tree? Okay?
Excuse me.
Would you like to help me put
this angel on top of the tree?
-Yes. Okay.
-Get it up there.
There we go.
-It looks great.
-Awesome.
Sorry.
[stairs creaking]
Hey.
Hey.
Are you okay?
Oh, yeah, I just
couldn't sleep. Are you?
Yeah, yeah, same.
I'm going to make us some cocoa.
Oh, no, I'm okay.
Thank you though.
I'm going to make me some cocoa.
Okay.
[tea kettle pouring into mug]
I made too much.
Thank you.
Sure.
I haven't had cocoa since
I was, I don't know, 10?
-Really?
You guys are pretty
traditional, huh?
Oh, you can tell?
A little.
You guys didn't do all of this?
We moved around a lot.
Okay.
You know what we used to do?
What?
Hold on.
Ooh. Yum.
I'll put yours on for you.
Okay.
Here you go.
Thank you.
I just stick it in?
Yeah, you want to hold it in the
yellow part of the flame, so it
doesn't get burnt.
-So, the highest? Okay.
-Yeah.
I like them really burnt.
-Oh yeah?
-Yeah, I meant to do
exactly that.
Okay, then you
just plop them in.
Plop it, huh? Okay.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Okay, that's delicious.
It is, actually.
[sentimental score plays]
Your parents seem
pretty accepting.
Yeah, now.
Why couldn't you tell
them about the breakup?
Growing up, my parents
were not like this.
They held me to the highest
standard with everything
that I did.
And then I came out, and it was
just another disappointment.
I'm sorry.
You know, my brother
always used to tell me that
I grew up with different
parents than he did.
He was the first one out, and
they were overprotective
and strict.
Then, eight years
later, I popped out.
And um...
They'd send me off to whoever
wanted me. They let me do
whatever I wanted to do.
They let me express myself
however I wanted, or needed.
I didn't know you had a brother.
Yeah.
I guess I don't know
very much about you.
Well, what do you want
to know, Miss Taylor?
What do you want to tell me?
Oh, I'll tell you anything.
-You would, wouldn't you?
-Yeah.
Okay, lets start
with growing up.
Ooh. Okay. Growing up.
Okay, so, you know how
your nickname was Pistol?
-Yes.
-Yeah?
Well, mine was Shrimp.
-No.
-Yeah.
I didn't grow until
senior year. I was just tiny.
You're making me nervous.
Not done. What was
the count, Cheryl?
I don't know, 40?
Mom, how many people are coming?
About 10 or so?
Okay, that's like three and
a half cookies a person.
This turkey is too dry. I
knew I should've waited.
Come on, get your
hands off that.
Well, how is it?
Delicious.
Hey, girls.
Hi.
He's a liar. Your
father's a liar.
I've always known that, but I
tell myself it's for the better,
because your mother
is overly sensitive.
Mom.
God, I hope your Aunt Tammy or
your Uncle Harold doesn't bring
that new girlfriend of his.
Candy or Kelly,
whatever her name is.
Your Aunt Tammy is going to
have a fit, and you know what?
I didn't even invite her.
[dryer buzzes]
The tablecloth is
done being fluffed.
Okay, what do you think?
Those are lovely.
Thank you.
I'm going to have to eat it.
Oh, is that the rule?
That's the rule. We can't give
Aunt Tammy half of a snowman,
can we?
-No, you can't.
-Mm-mm.
How is it?
[knocking on door]
Come in.
No, don't say a word.
I mean, it--
You've made it this far, you
don't want to get fired now.
Face it, Taylor, you need me.
Olive?
Hmm?
Why did you get the
cuter ugly sweater?
Your mom loves me.
Yeah, she does.
[indistinct chatter]
Mary?
Keri.
Sherry?
Keri with a K.
Kelly?
Yeah.
Has Uncle Harold
cornered you yet?
No, which one is that?
Uncle Harold.
Go introduce Jess to Aunt Tammy.
-Go! Just go. Please.
-Okay. Come on. Let's go. Yeah.
And then I just told her
to buy the necklace.
And I still wear it. See?
Oh, that's nice.
I should've ended
up with a woman.
Okay.
Yeah, I'd love to.
Hey! What are you kids doing?
-I don't get it.
-I know, he just brought her.
Frank!
Would you please go
wake up your father?
Dad? Dad.
Have you ever been
on a helicopter?
I haven't.
Oh, you need to. Did
Taylor tell you about mine?
She didn't.
It's called the Locomotive.
Wow.
You really should try
it at least once.
I don't know I watch too
many documentaries. Yeah.
This is a beautiful sweater.
[singing together]
Silent night, holy night.
[singing together]
All is calm.
Did you know that Jess
is the first person that
Taylor has ever brought
home to meet us?
She must be something
really special, right Jess?
Who?
Oh, me! Yes. Yeah.
I wish Carl would find someone,
he's always so busy at work.
He will, just give him some
time. He just needs some time.
Time? He's 46.
[clapping]
Did you get everything you
needed? Do you need anything?
Oh, definitely.
Turkey, Kelly?
Oh, no, thank you.
I'm a vegetarian.
What'd she say?
She's a vegetarian!
Oh, well, it's chewy anyway.
Thanks, dad.
What did I do?
You said it was good.
It is good.
It'll be good with
mayonnaise tomorrow.
Where's Tommy?
He wasn't feeling well.
He went to lie down.
What'd you do?
Send him to his room.
I don't live here, grandpa.
Do you think you could find a
nice girl for Carl in the city?
I'll try.
You know, the way you met Jess,
that doesn't just happen
to everyone.
I knew a couple that
met during a robbery.
No, you didn't.
Yes, I did.
Cindy and Manny Ramirez.
I met him in college.
I did.
Cheryl, this green bean
casserole is amazing.
Oh, good. It's the
easiest thing to make.
I could never make
anything this good.
That's because you
use fresh green beans.
You know, they had a--
I believe they had a
couple of classes together.
Who?
Cindy and Manny Ramirez.
He said that he
recognized her eyes
while she was trying to rob the
gas station that he
was working at.
While she was robbing him?
That is not a true story.
Yes, it is.
Do you want some coffee?
No, thanks.
You're awfully quiet
this morning.
Did something happen last night?
No. I'm fine.
Did Uncle Harold do something?
Mom, drop it. Nothing's wrong.
Hey. Did you get all of the dirt
out from under your nails?
Yeah, just about.
-Good. Good.
-Yeah.
I still can't figure out what
happened to that mistletoe. That
is so weird.
Maybe it was a strong wind,
you keep it so cold in here.
I keep it cold so we can
acclimate better when
we go outside.
Oh, speaking of which,
I'm going out to the Christmas
markets later. Do you girls want
to come?
That sounds fun. I'm in.
Yeah.
Taylor?
I can't, I have to
get some work done.
Well, we'll have fun anyway.
Let's see.
Perfect.
[laughing]
Hey dad.
Hey, kiddo.
Are you hungry?
No, thank you.
Do you still have all of
those old VHS tapes?
Don't tell your mom,
I was supposed to get rid of
them, but they're up
in the attic.
What are you looking for?
Have you ever seen
Gone with the Wind ?
Gone with the Wind? Are
you kidding? It's a classic.
"Frankly, my dear, I
don't give a damn."
Right.
You'll like it, it's good.
Okay.
You sure? I can make you one.
-No, thank you.
-No? Okay.
Okay, suit yourself.
I'm surprised you haven't seen
Gone with the Wind . Where
have you been, kiddo?
[classic movie plays]
I saw her going straight
for it. I had to get it.
I've never seen anyone
move that fast.
You can't have Christmas
without caramel corn.
I'm learning so much.
Hey, honey.
Hi.
What's wrong with your eyes?
Why? What's wrong with them?
They're really red.
Oh, no, I was just
sitting by the fire.
Oh, well, smoke follows beauty.
Hey.
Hey.
Are you okay?
How was the market?
Good. Who knew Sears
was still around?
They literally have anything
you could ever need.
[Mom]
Hey, we picked up dinner.
[Mom]
Do you girls want to come eat?
We should go. Yeah?
Yeah.
Okay.
Hello. It looks good, huh?
Hey.
I'm going to go upstairs, I
still have some presents
to wrap.
Dad and I already ate,
so I'm not that hungry.
You said you were starving here.
We watched a movie
and we got hungry.
You called me an hour ago.
I missed you.
Don't even.
[knocking on door]
Is it safe to come in?
-Yes, I'm just finishing up.
-Yeah? Okay.
Well, I brought you
this. Look at that.
Your mom said it
was your favorite.
I pretended I knew that.
Turkey and mashed potatoes,
huh? By the way, I made it.
Yes, and it's delicious.
Yeah?
Yes, thank you.
You'll have to convince
me. I don't know.
Are you sure everything's okay?
I don't think I can
do this anymore.
What do you mean? What is this?
The lie.
Yeah, well, I've been thinking.
I think it's gone a little bit
too far, and I think it would be
better if we stopped.
I'll tell my parents that
something came up at work,
or...
...whatever.
Oh, um...
And I know I owe you a
week's worth. Don't worry,
I'll make sure you get paid.
Taylor, wait. Wait. Hold on.
What if we told them the truth?
I'll do it with you.
It'll be fine, I promise.
I can't.
So, you're just going to keep
up the lie, but without me here.
I don't get it.
I don't know yet. I
haven't thought about that.
What have you thought about?
Have you thought about
anyone else's feelings at all?
That's all I've thought about.
I don't want to hurt them,
and I don't want to hurt you.
I don't know what to do.
Move this.
[Taylor typing]
Good morning.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Wait, what is with this?
You like it?
Did you guys sleep alright? I
know your dad was snoring
like a train.
No, we didn't hear
anything. Did we, Jess?
No, didn't hear a thing.
I made your favorite,
chocolate croissant?
Thank you.
I forgot I have to
use the bathroom.
Dad and I are going to go play
tennis. We'll be back in an hour
or two.
Okay.
You're getting rusty, kid.
Says the guy who just
lost every game.
Not that last one.
Because you got a leg cramp
and you couldn't finish.
I was up though.
Hey, mom?
Hey, how was tennis?
Fine. Where's Jess?
She booked a bus home. She had
some sort of work emergency,
some software
something or other.
She said she texted you.
Oh, okay.
It's Christmas Day. I
thought that was so odd.
She takes her job
really seriously.
We're really going to miss her.
I'm going to head in soon and
make some dinner, okay?
-Okay.
-Alright.
They say it's going to snow
tonight, but, I don't think so.
Your snow senses
aren't going off?
No.
Oh, good. Good. That's one less
thing for me to do tomorrow.
There you go.
[sentimental song plays]
Oh, you didn't! They're the
matching earrings to my
bracelet.
Open yours. Open it. Open it.
Open it.
Sorry about the box,
it's all they had.
Put it on. Put it on. Put it on.
You rolled up the sleeves
for me? How thoughtful.
I know you like them that way.
Taylor, doesn't your
father look good in blue?
So handsome. Open the
present from Uncle Harold.
From Uncle Harold? How nice.
What the hell is this?
It's one of those new things
that you do your teeth with.
It's a hip new thing.
I have a toothbrush.
[phone ringing]
[voicemail greeting]
Is everything okay?
Yeah. Yeah, everything's fine.
You know, parent do know things.
Yeah? What kind of things?
I knew you were gay
when you were little.
I just knew.
Then why did you react
the way that you did?
Just because we're parents,
doesn't mean we
don't have faults.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't
have the right words to say.
I'm so sorry.
I know we're getting older,
Taylor, but we're still growing.
I'm sorry I shut you guys out.
I always do that.
I shut people out.
No, no, no. It's okay.
You just needed time.
Maybe that's all your
girlfriend needs, some time.
Who? Jess?
Sure.
No, I don't know. I think I
really screwed it up, mom.
I lied.
I know.
What do you know?
I saw your girlfriend Jess on
your social media page, I knew
that wasn't her.
Why didn't you say anything?
You two seemed so happy and
you looked so cute together. I
didn't want to do what
I always do.
It'll be okay, okay? It'll be
okay. It's going to be great.
[Dad]
I agree! Love you, honey!
No, I'm still a couple of hours
out. What were you saying?
[Marge speakerphone]
8:30, 9:30.
[Marge speakerphone]
What's the difference?
A measly hour?
Yeah, exactly, that
is the difference.
[Marge speakerphone]
He owes us anyway,
we weren't supposed
to have an end of
the year deadline.
He does this every year.
[Marge speakerphone]
And every year,
I'll complain about it.
So, I'll see you at 8:30?
[call cutting out]
Marge? Marge?
[call dropped]
[O Christmas tree
plays on radio]
[phone ringing]
[voicemail greeting]
I just wanted to let you know
that the meeting has been moved
to 12:30.
Bob had some connection
issues this morning.
Okay.
Thai today?
Sure.
You got it.
[sentimental score plays]
That's what I said.
Well, what did she say?
She said-- You want to
know what she said?
-I do. I have to know
what she said.
-Yeah.
What'd she say?!
She said-
Shoot.
She said, "And I don't like
your attitude very much either."
That's it?
That was it.
I mean, I like it.
Yeah?
Yeah, I think it's compelling.
-Yeah, right? It is.
-Yeah.
It's um--
You know, it's--
It pays really well.
There you go.
That's all.
-That's it.
-Yeah.
I need another one.
Okay, I'll grab you one.
Oh, thank you.
[remote beeps]
Gone with the Wind.
["Auld Lang Syne" plays]
Your daddy's coming.
-Hi.
-Hi.
Thanks. The same time next week?
Yeah. Bye Lobster. Okay.
See you.
Olive.
Oh, hello.
[NYE countdown]
Wait, wait, wait. Five.
-Four, three, two, one.
-Four, three, two, one.
[party horns honking]
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year!
[knocking on door]
Hi.
Hi. Go to page 12 of
last month's paper.
Why?
Just do it.
It's just your article.
Keep scrolling.
Okay, I'm at the bottom.
Click the comments.
Woah.
Why does it have 300 comments?
Look at them, they
all did the list.
"We didn't have snow,
so we did sand angels."
Aw, isn't that cute?
How did they find it?
I don't know, but I'm
not complaining.
Steve saw it?
I may have sent it to
him a few times around.
Crazy.
[sentimental score plays]
[upbeat holiday song plays]
Is Olive here?
Pink building Olive?
She's probably at home.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi. Does Olive live here?
She does.
She does.
Can I see her?
She's actually not
here right now.
Oh. Okay.
I can tell you where
she's going to be though.
Really?
Yeah, Taylor. Duh.
-I'm Taylor, you know my name.
-I'm Kai.
-Kai, it's so nice to meet you.
-You too.
I love love.
Olive!
I've called you a million times!
My phone got turned off!
Oh!
-I'm gonna--
-Okay!
-Hi.
-Hi.
How are you?
I'm good. How are you?
I'm okay.
Yeah? Just okay?
I booked it.
That audition?
Yeah, pretty big one.
Hey, that's amazing.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
Well, I should head back.
That was the last bus.
Oh, I'll drive you.
You know what? That's
okay. I'm good.
Olive.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for everything. I'm
sorry for dragging you into that
whole mess.
I know I should've been honest,
but I was scared, and I'm sorry.
Look, I went too method with it.
No!
-I get it.
-No.
-You didn't. You didn't.
-I got too involved.
I did.
We did everything on the list.
What list?
The snow angels that you made me
do, the stupid sweaters,
the fire.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
I watched Gone
with the Wind .
You did?
-Three times actually.
-And?
I'm Ashley and you're Rhett.
Who's Scarlett?
Oh.
I mean, no, I'm Scarlett
and you're Rhett.
Oh my God, I can't believe
I just messed that up.
It's okay.
So, what do you say?
Well, what are you asking?
Do you have any
plans for Easter?
Come here.
[sentimental score swells]
Are you ready?
I'm kind of nervous.
Hey, they're going to love you.
Okay.
[everyone greets each other]
Mom, dad, this is Olive.
-Olive.
-Olive.
Welcome to the family. Come in.
Hi Frank.
Hi.
[indistinct chatter]
[music]