Looking on the Bright Side (1932) Movie Script
1
Hello hello hello.
Gracie, Gracie, it's come, it's come.
What has the milk?
No, my new song printed
and everything look.
With the publisher's compliments.
Oh well that will do you a lot of good.
What will?
The publisher's compliments.
Don't you realise I'm a real live
honest to goodness composer?
Oh no you're not you're just.
An ordinary common English barber.
Lady's hairdresser if you please.
Oh we call them
barbers where I come from.
And you won't be much longer
if Delmonico catches you.
You've been late three times this week.
Oh song writing's much better
than hairdressing any day.
So is knitting, come on,
I'll see you downstairs.
Hi, wait a minute, coming over!
Got 'em, don't forget
to put the curtains.
Hello everybody, listen to this,
Got his first song, published at last.
Hello, hello everybody, give
you a copy of my first song.
Here you go dad, sing this.
What give me a kiss?
No, sing that song.
What do they say?
Jolly good song.
Laurie's new song.
I've got one of them for
you too, sing one of those.
Come on everybody, go on at once.
Look Nancy isn't it marvellous?
Laurie's first song, published at last.
Go on, sing it sing it on your feet.
Me too.
All right darling,
here are you you sing it.
Throw out your chest and hope for best.
We'll bring you back a big
doll to put you to bed tonight.
Oh wouldn't that be nice?
How exciting, if it's
as good as all that.
You should be able to
give up hairdressing soon.
It's wonderful Ms. Josie.
Of course it's only my first.
I'd like to hear it.
Sing it Gracie.
Why it's wonderful Laurie,
It's the best song I've heard in years.
Do you mean it?
Oh of course, Oscar Schultz my manager.
Must hear about you at once.
Would you like to play
to him if I arrange it?
Rather.
How does the chorus go again?
Try not to.
- Come on boys.
- Come on.
Two pounds.
Here now.
Oh come on.
Oh, I've got a letter for you.
It's been here all evening,
where have you been?
Looking on the bright
side of life you know.
I know.
That's the idea.
You're just in time.
All right all right,
better late than never.
Yeah hang on just a moment Gracie.
Oh it's from Ms. Joy.
Mr. Schultz wants to hear one of my songs.
Next Monday at the Dorchester Hotel.
She talked to Oscar.
Who'd think she would?
Oh I knew she would.
You're glad aren't you Gracie?
Glad lovely, it's the chance
you've been looking for.
Oh, I feel so happy.
I feel I could dance right to the top.
You'll dance to the
top, I always knew it.
I wish all life was easy
as going up these stairs.
You watch your step,
You'll find coming down's easier still.
Oh Grace, what a wonderful day.
Yeah, but there's only one
thing about wonderful days.
You feel they can't ever happen again.
I'm not giving you a second chance.
After tonight we say goodbye.
Did you hear that?
After tonight we say goodbye.
Poor devil.
But Laurie, what a
wonderful title for a song.
After tonight, we say goodbye.
Too sad.
Not a bit, the public wants something
nowadays to make them wipe their eyes.
And wish they'd done better
by their old mothers.
By Jove, you're right.
That's a good idea.
I'll start on it right away.
See if you can get it ready in time
to play for Mr. Schultz.
Ready in the morning, madam.
Laurie, I'm so so happy.
Got 'em.
Oh marvellous!
- I'll tell you girls...
- I shouldn't tell you
a story like that, but you know.
It's awfully hard to get
rid of a nice girl nowadays.
Sure.
I once had a girl in my company
working for me for years.
She used to bother the life out of me
from morning till night,
I'd made up my mind
I was gonna get rid of her.
So I said to her one day, "I
got a nice surprise for you."
She said, "Is that so?"
And I made her the present
of a beautiful jewel case.
She opened up the jewel case.
And she said, "Why it's empty."
I said, "Yes, that's the surprise.
Darling, is your last
dress silver, lilac or gold?
Silver, what are you serious darling?
Are you having a good time Mr. Kinkaid?
Yes, thanks old man.
Well you better take advantage of it.
Because you may never get another chance.
Back the winner of the
gold cup Mr. Schultz?
Well I find there's no such luck.
I only one two races in my lifetime.
And one was from a policeman.
I think it's heaven.
Thank you man, this is fine too.
I don't know about his songs,
But water waving is too divine.
I'm dying to see manager's friends.
Or the manicurist she's a scream.
Well lady I must say.
That there ain't really
nothing new nowadays.
I just came back from my holidays.
I've been to Brighton
this time for my holiday.
I live by Mrs. Bloomberg.
You know Mrs. Bloomberg?
No.
She calls her hotel The Palms.
I looked around.
I couldn't find no Palms,
I said, "Mrs. Bloomberg,
"Why do you call your hotel The Palms?"
She said, "Well when you go away,
"The waiters will show them to you."
Okay, what's the matter with that fellow
that you're tangled up with?
That barber of Seville, what's the idea?
I hope he keeps better time with his music.
Than he does with his appointments.
Oh be quiet, he's on the way.
Mr. Laurie and Grace.
Here are you Laurie, I
thought you would never come.
- Good afternoon.
- How do you do?
- This is Laurie.
- How do you do?
I suppose you've almost given us up.
Almost, well what should we call it?
A close shave.
Come on and have a cocktail.
Grace, this is Mr. Schultz.
How do you do Mr. Schultz?
- So you file nails eh?
- Yes.
Well if your boyfriend
don't write me some songs,
I'll file my petition.
Oh and here's some cocktails coming.
Well cheers.
Cheers.
Haven't wasted much time have you?
I'd rather not.
Would you like to hear Laurie sing now?
Yes, I'm ready.
Gracie, won't you sing it?
All right play up.
Shh, shut up, I want to hear this song.
She's going to sing.
I want to hear this song, please.
What did I tell you?
Trust old man Schultz.
- Marvellous.
- Wonderful.
Wonderful, wonderful,
you are not a manicurist.
You're a grand artist.
How do you mean?
Come here, I want to
have a talk with you.
It was perfectly marvellous.
Oh dearie.
Have a seat and something to drink.
All right I'll have a drink.
Waiter, bring two martinis
and I'll have a sandwich.
Sit down now.
Of course you know Oscar Schultz.
Anyone who don't know Oscar Schultz.
Don't know that Columbus
discovered South Africa.
Well go on say what you've got to say
and get it off your chest.
The song is all right
but the way you sing it.
How about appearing in my show?
You'll be the greatest
proposition in years.
I'll pay you 15 pounds a week every week,
But no commission.
No, not even 15 pounds
a week would tempt me.
I like my meals regular.
Oh, here Gracie have a drink.
Thank you.
What is that?
Ham sir.
Ham he brings me.
My father all of a
sudden should see me now.
Take it away and bring me something else.
What you want to think
about Gracie is the money.
Think what you could do about it.
Silk stockings, silk camisoles, silk.
Well I don't want to go
too deep in the matter.
Even silk bill slips wouldn't tempt me.
Gracie, I'll make it 20 pounds a week.
What is it this time?
Bread and butter.
Bread and butter he
brings me take it away
and put some hame in it.
Now listen sweetheart,
the more I think of you
as a manicurist, the more I realise.
You are wasting your time.
Yes, so are you.
Come on Laurie.
Come on Laurie, come on home.
We can't go just yet.
Besides it would be look bad.
Yes so do you.
I'm all right.
I've been getting ideas.
Yes, bad ones.
Don't you see, that if
I can only get a contract
from Schultz to writer all Josie's numbers.
For his new show I shall
make a name for myself.
You're making one for
yourself now, look at you.
Come on Laurie, come on home.
They've all heard your song.
What's the good of staying here?
Oh Laurie, be a dear.
And play that song over again would you?
Oh, he can't he's
taking me to the pictures.
What?
Oh of course.
I thought you'd like to
be interested in his song.
- Oh do I only I...
- It's quite all right.
There's lots of time.
What's the matter with you Gracie?
Like you, something's coming to my head.
- Are you coming?
- When I choose
and not before.
Laurie, play that song again please.
Yes, please.
- Shall I?
- Please.
No it doesn't go like that.
No, it's like that look.
Yes that's right.
Goodbye everyone.
Dear Gracie,
Come here Gracie, where are you going?
Home.
But you can't walk out
of my club like that.
Well I have haven't I?
Don't be a fool.
I'm giving you the chance of a lifetime.
I'll tell you what I'll do.
I'll give 30 pounds a week.
Nothing doing.
Hi Oscar.
Wait a minute, this is business.
Gracie, I'll make it 35 pounds a week.
I'll make it 40.
Qi, oi oi!
Oh so you've managed to
wake up at last have you?
What's wrong?
By the look of you I
should say everything.
What time did you get home this morning?
Oh about half past three.
You've got to be at
work at nine o' clock.
- Oh no I haven't.
- Well what do you mean?
No more hairdressing for me thank you.
Why should I when I can make
lots of money writing songs?
Don't be a fool.
You can't chuck up your job.
Just because you've sold one song.
One song?
Why I'm gonna sell thousands.
Who says so?
That dyed hair stuck up lizard
who calls herself an actress?
You don't like Josie do you?
I do not.
And I like her less
still for keeping you out.
Till three in the morning.
But I am not a child.
I can take care of myself.
Oh yes, look at you.
Have you seen yourself in the glass?
What?
Well there's no reason to be saucy.
You slept in your clothes
all night last night.
Well you better change that pin shirt.
Before you catch a death of cold.
I shan't ask you to the funeral.
No, you won't be able to.
Good morning girls.
Good morning contessa.
Good morning Delmonico.
What marvellous manners
his attendants have.
I've only been here twice.
And he's remembered my face.
Yes, there are some
faces he never forgets.
Oh dear hurry up Delmonico.
I've got a rehearsal today.
And Schultz is always angry after a party.
Have my apologies, they are all busy.
I am distracted, but when you take away.
My most popular dresser from me.
Oh Laurie is going to
write all my songs for me.
Oh I've no time to wait,
But I'd love to have my nails done.
I will send a lady to you.
Where is that wretched Gracie?
Two more times later and I'll
give her the sack right away.
Have you seen Gracie?
No not today Delmonico?
Have you?
Where on Earth have you been?
I've been waiting five minutes.
Don't shout, I'm not deaf.
Don't be impertinent.
This is the result of treating
you as an equal last night.
Oh will you shut up?
Don't you dare speak to me like that.
A manicure please and a
shampoo if there's time.
Oh but you don't do that do you?
No, but I will in this case.
Oh sorry.
This water is too hot.
Nothing's too hot for you, sorry madam.
Oh sorry madam.
You're doing that on purpose.
I shall report you to Delmonico.
Oh report away, think it's all lucky you
if you were let down lightly.
I will attend
to it myself counsellor.
Why I...
Quite all right, I'll do
your hair wash for nothing.
Did you call for Delmonico?
Delmonico!
This girl's gone raving mad.
Please Josie, what has happened?
Why she seized me, seized my head.
And just sprayed me all over.
- Why I haven't!
- What?
I'll never enter this shop again.
And you, what have you to say?
Well I had to stop her talking somehow.
You get out.
What?
You are
dismissed, you understand?
Too long I have tolerated
your continual unpunctuality.
This is the end.
Hi?
Go.
And consider yourself lucky
I don't send for a policeman.
And charge you with assault.
Yes madam?
Could I see the manageress
of the beauty parlour?
In through that door madam.
Thank you.
Of course I don't really want a manicure.
I'm looking to see if there's a job going.
Ah, this way milady.
You're a bit swift aren't you?
I must have my table Oscar.
Well you've got it lovely.
This place is too grand for me.
Silly Billy, wait till
I make you a real success.
Come on let's do everything together.
Come on I think we'll have a little bath.
And we'll put you to bed.
Oh no, let's stay up instead.
Instead?
I'm going out with my boyfriend tonight.
I have to be very beautiful.
Oh really well how would
madam like her hair done?
Water wave, Marcel wave or permanent wave?
I think I'll have a Marcel
and permanent wave please.
You'll have a permanent wave,
Well well I think we'll
have a little washing first.
Oh no.
Oh yes, now what soap
would madam prefer?
Oh you're usual sir.
Oh monkey then.
Come on, get those off.
There you are there you are madam,
you'll find our baths are very good.
And highly recommended.
You'll find them splendid for rheumatism.
Oh they're wonderful for rheumatism.
Dear oh dear where's the soap?
Here it is then, there we are.
Oh dear.
How dare you put soap in my eyes.
I shall tell the manager.
Manager, come here please.
This woman's put some soap in my eyes.
I think you'd better give her the sack.
Oh, what again?
Did you hear what he said?
You're dismissed.
Dismissed.
Here you are darling, it's all over.
And now to bed.
Oh no.
Sing to me first.
No, not tonight darling,
I'm terribly tired.
Just a little please,
the one with Uncle Laurie.
Laurie wrote all about the world to me.
All right if you promise to be in bed.
And fast asleep by the time it's over.
All right.
There that's better.
Do you like it?
Well I think it's wonderful.
Do you think Schultz will like it?
Of course.
He's been pretty beastly.
About all the other songs
I've written for you.
Oh, he's jealous.
Oh, is that it?
Of course darling.
Josie, sing this song as
you've never sung before.
Then old Schultz will
have it in his new show
and I shall be a big success
and you'll be a big success.
And we can be together for good.
Oh I shouldn't tell Schultz
that part of it if I were you.
Oh why not?
Oh you know how men are.
Oh stop worrying about your song.
And come and talk to me.
Sip?
Match?
Ooh, I can see the flame
reflected in your eyes.
What fun.
You make me feel like a flame.
Ooh, what a lovely line for a song.
Let's write lyrics together shall we?
Being with you is like a lyric.
Why, that's really poetry, lovely.
You're lovely darling.
I love you.
Hey is that the title of the new song
what you've brought me?
No, I was having a
private talk with Josie.
So will I, you ain't the first one.
But I don't understand.
Mr. Schultz I think ought to tell you
that Josie and I...
Oh Laurie has brought
you a new song, I like it.
That don't mean a thing.
What's the name of it?
I Hate You.
Well let's hear it
and if it ain't any better than the others
that you've brought me last week,
I'll hate you too.
Say do me a favour.
Cut my hair for me will you please?
I suppose you think that's funny.
Funny, not half as funny as that song.
Well if you don't like it,
there's no need to be rude.
Don't need to be rude, what
do you want to do kiss you?
Didn't I give you 100
pounds to write some songs.
For my new show and what
have you done with it?
Wasting my good money to take
my actresses and others out.
Instead of doing what you paid for.
Why, I need inspiration.
Well why don't you run around the park,
You'll get all the
perspiration that you need.
Funny aren't you?
No I ain't funny.
I'm angry.
I showed this song to Max
Walters, do you know him?
Do I know Max Walters?
I knew him when he was only
a blush on his mother's face.
Besides, he ain't no judge of anything.
Listen, the first two, three
songs that you wrote for me,
they wasn't so bad,
especially with that girl,
That what did you call
it that Gracie woman.
But since I gave you that money,
you gave me nothing but rubbish.
My songs aren't rubbish.
Rubbish, rubbish I
know it when I see it.
Say you can't do nothing.
You're nothing but a fake.
But Oscar!
Joy, listen let me tell
you something young lady.
Why do you hold yourself so cheap?
That fellow thinks he can
get you for a mere song.
It's better than the lousy
parts you give me anyway.
Say say say I've heard that before.
The next time you get
tangled up with a fellow,
make sure that he's a
good songwriter first.
And a good hairdresser afterwards.
How dare you talk to Josie like that.
How dare I?
How dare I?
Well don't that take the cake.
I'll show you what I'll dare do.
I'll show you come around
here and talk to me.
Here, there is your
contract Mr. Hairdresser.
Now take it and get out.
- But Mr. Schultz...
- You ain't stone deaf
are you, get out!
Josie darling you
like the song don't you?
Which song my dear?
The song you've just sung.
You still like it don't you?
Well it's very ordinary isn't it?
Ordinary, I see.
I think I understand.
Goodbye.
Do sit down, Gracie, you're
looking terribly tired.
Tired?
You can believe me, the chap that wrote
I'm happy when I'm hiking.
Never spent a day out looking for a job.
Did you get anything?
Yeah, fresh air.
Why don't you ask
Delmonico to take you back?
Oh, I can just imagine what he'd say.
What me take you back?
No no no no no, you ruin the business,
go away, go away, go away.
Make with the scoot, make with the scoot.
Look up look up look up look up,
there you're all right now,
Now what were you trying to say love?
Why don't you be a
police lady like mommy?
That child's full of ideas.
Yes and bread and jam.
Oh do be a police lady,
you'll look so funny.
Can you see me on my first day out?
With all the kids following me?
Ha, dogs and all.
Can you see me in a baton and arms
and a fireman's helmet?
Come on lads, over here we go.
Come on, over, over, come on, come on,
Don't look so dull, miss oi,
stop, stop or I'll make you.
May I have a word with you Gracie?
You may quite likely
we shall have several.
Hello Uncle Laurie,
Are you really going to marry an actress?
Now Betsy you're getting terse,
It's time you were in bed, come along.
- Oh no!
- Yes it is time
- you've been in bed.
- Aunt Gracie...
Come on along, I'm gonna put you to bed.
- Oh no I want...
- Yes I am.
I want some grapes.
You can't have the grapes, come along.
My dolly.
All right darling here it is, come on.
And my rock!
You want the police
station that's what you want.
Oh no I don't need to go to bed!
Afraid I've made myself unpopular.
Who with?
I expected to find you alone.
Yes, I generally am these days.
Well, there's no charge for seats.
It's a long time since
we've seen each other.
I was wondering
whether you might like to.
That is I thought I'd ask
you to sort of well you know.
Well now you've managed
to make yourself so clear
what is it you do want?
Well it's about this song.
What about it?
There's something wrong with it.
What's it called?
I Hate You.
That's what's wrong with you.
I feel it's good.
And yet when I hear it, I...
Who's been singing
it, your friend Josie?
It doesn't sound
right when she sings it.
Why not isn't she the greatest
thing that ever happened?
I am sorry.
Yes, you've said that before.
You've you've always
helped me before Gracie
and I thought perhaps you might.
Yes Gracie's always helped you before
and when you want something
you come rushing back to Gracie.
Thinking she'll help you again.
And she does.
Goodness knows why, because
she's soft I suppose.
Go on, sit down and play it.
Women are fools.
What key is this?
C.
Sounds like hell.
Oh my dear Gracie you're too perfect.
I'm so glad you think so.
Well are you coming in?
Oh no, I'd look such a fool.
Besides the costume wouldn't suit me.
Come on.
Anything's better than
worrying about Laurie all day.
I want her to join up.
Don't you think she'll be all right?
Bravo, we've got lots of nice
girls like her in the force.
Oh, there's some of them.
There you are.
Come on I'll join, I can
see something fun here.
Fun, you wait until you
see Sergeant Rose Hutton.
You wait till Sergeant
Push Button sees me, come on.
Hey, how do I look?
Scared out of your wits.
No I mean do I look
like a policeman's woman?
If you do, well I don't.
Look at your tunic.
What kind of a temper
is Maggie Dripping It?
Who?
Sergeant Push Button.
Oh she's bound to be in a bad one.
She's never in a good one.
I wonder what she was before
she was a police sergeant.
A bear I should think.
Not you!
Why were you late?
Well sir or mum madam, I
wouldn't have been any use
if I'd been here any earlier.
Why?
I was asleep.
Policewomen never sleep.
That's funny, old
soldiers never die.
You're a fool.
Report to me in the morning.
Aye aye sir.
Well so long see you tonight see.
Good day son.
Hey!
- Missus.
- Hello.
Quick this gentleman pinched your fish,
do you wish to charge him?
I have charged him, six pence at it.
Here you are Charlie, give
my love to your mother.
Bit fresh ain't you?
Aye, more than your fishes.
New on the job?
Be a bit more careful next time miss.
Come on you have a round madam.
All right.
One two three.
What's all this?
You bringing ridicule on
the police force again?
The kids to have a game and I...
You're a policewoman, not a nursemaid.
Report to me in the morning.
Aye aye sir.
Coming in Charlie?
Is your mother out?
Yes.
Fine, I'll come in for a minute.
Hello Gracie, how's things?
Caught any burglars?
Yes, two, I gave them a
schilling each and let them go.
My luck's out.
I saw Laurie this afternoon.
You did, where?
He's back at his flat, broke.
Old man Schultz has turned
me down for good and all.
I must go to him.
He won't see you.
Besides, you can't you're on duty.
Well then I'll see that I get the sack.
Look out, here comes the sergeant.
What does this mean?
They still think they can sing.
You listen to me.
How dare you!
Again you are alone again
with a lack of discipline.
Report to me in the morning.
Don't worry dear.
You can't get out of the force that way.
I'll give you something
to occupy your time.
What are you doing in high town?
This isn't a place for a policewoman.
This is my beat now.
Get away.
That's right.
Well take a little tip.
Keep away from a fellow named Sykes.
He'd eat you.
Oh yeah so it happens I like cavemen.
Well Sykes they let you out again?
Come on love.
Hey there lady, give me a number.
Hey hey.
Here.
Thanks.
Pick him up.
Take him away.
Some people has all the luck.
I wish I'd have been in time.
I could do with a few more stripes.
If you've got anymore
you'd look like a zebra.
Wonderful Gracie, wonderful
you'll be a shining light.
To all policewoman oh I'm so excited.
What else can I say?
Report to me in the morning.
Not to me, the commissioner.
They'll make you a sergeant for this.
Me a sergeant?
Don't you think they'd give
me a discharge instead?
I should smile.
So should I.
Mr. Schultz can't see anymore today.
But I have an appointment.
I've been here three hours.
Here you are I've had 40
songs published this year
and if you think I'm
gonna hang around all day.
For Mr. Schultz, your
blooming well mistaken.
Didn't he get my card?
Here you are, pick it out yourself.
Say tell that cadre of hooligans.
When I want them I'll send for them.
I heard 50 songs today
and all of them are piffle.
And it's all your fault.
My fault?
Here we are we gotta put
on a show in one week's time
and we ain't got one
song that means anything,
Just because you're
barbarous friend let me down.
Who is it?
Oh, Lady Assaud.
Excuse me, good morning, I'm
pleased to see you again.
Of course my show is going
on, in one week's time, yes.
What?
Don't pay no attention to the newspapers.
They make mountains of moleskins.
Molehills darling.
Say who the hell is talking
over this telephone anyway?
No no no no, lady, I
wasn't talking to you.
Got a cat here that's meowing.
It's useless arguing with you.
You're so illiterate.
Say say say I'm just
as legitimate as you are.
No no no no you've misunderstood me,
I didn't mean that to you I
was talking to no no wait.
Now look what you've done.
Well what do you want me to do?
Hold your hand?
No I want you to hold your tongue.
You ain't got no heart.
You ain't got no brains.
You ain't even got no talent.
All right well close the
lousy show for all I care.
I will close the lousy,
I will close the show.
Did you ever see that damn telephone.
Is ringing the whole day
long, hello who is it?
What does she want?
What's her name?
Grace?
Grace?
Tell her I won't see her.
I only want to see my bank manager.
And even him I don't want to see.
I understand you don't
want to see me Mr. Schultz.
That's quite right.
Well here I am.
In that case, I will see
you, now what do you want?
I want to talk to you
about my friend Laurie.
See I've got enough of that fellow.
For the rest of my lifetime.
Well give him another chance.
Not on your life.
His stuff is rotten, he's a fake.
His songs want singing.
Listen, would you let
me sing them for you?
See, the more you laugh,
The more I think that she is right.
That's a great idea.
It'll be a novelty and
that's what the public want.
What you mean you'll let me?
Yes, I'll take a chance.
Here, come sign your contract.
Wait a minute, how much money do I get?
25 pounds a week.
Are you being serious dear?
Well whatever it is,
it won't be for long.
Your last offer was 40
pounds a week Mr. Schultz
and that's what I want.
40 pounds a week, how do I know.
You're going to be worth 40?
Well how do you know
I'm going to be worth 25?
That's right, I never thought of that.
We'll make it 12.
Ah, stop your messing, 40
pounds a week or nothing.
All right, put your
signature on this contract.
That all right?
Your word is sufficient.
What are you gonna do with
all that money Gracie?
Shall I keep it for you?
No thanks, I'm gonna give a
big party to all my friends.
Ah Gracie you'll have plenty parties.
I'm gonna make you a big star.
He once said that to me.
Didn't I make you a star?
Can I help it if you didn't twinkle?
Gracie, tomorrow you come
to see me in the theatre.
We make you some beautiful gowns.
You will look so swell.
That even your own
mother wouldn't know you.
I want you to go to the best
hairdresser that you can find.
Who will you go to huh?
Delmonico's.
Yes, that's right.
Give him a surprise.
Yes, can you see me
with my head in the air.
Walking into Delmonico's and him saying...
You want me to take you back?
No no no no, you ruin the business.
Go away, go away.
Make the scoot the make the scoot.
You'll excuse me,
But I want my hairdresser and a manicure.
I seem to have been in this place before.
Shall I go to the same cubicle?
What would you like madam?
Can I see the menu?
Wave my hair please.
Oh I beg your pardon I
thought you said a manicure.
I distinctly said a shampoo.
Oh shampoo forgive me,
I'm all mixed this morning.
I know like cocktail.
Madam's hair is coming out, my word.
Madam's hair is coming out.
Perhaps madam's worried about something.
No, madam hasn't a worry in the world.
I once had a client who quarrelled
with the man she loved
and it affected her hair.
To such an extent that it
came out in hand fulls.
Oh, well I've never been in love.
So that can't be the reason
for my hair coming out.
That's most peculiar,
because it's an established fact.
That love makes people lose their hair.
Yeah, it makes some
people lose their heads.
Yes, look what happened
to Queen Elizabeth.
Aye and Anne Boleyn.
Oh careful about that.
I beg your pardon, such a witty remark.
When did you make up your mind
you'd become a hairdresser again?
When I discovered that I was
a failure at writing songs.
You're not a failure.
I'm second rate and you know it.
You're just a bit silly
at times that's all.
Well it may interest you to know.
That I've come to my senses now.
This is a job I do understand.
It may interest you to know
that I'm going to be an actress.
And that's a job I don't understand.
Are you serious?
Quite.
Laurie, why don't you snap
out of it and be happy?
I'm giving a party after the first night.
To all of our old friends Parker's Peace.
Won't you come?
No thanks, I don't
go to parties anymore.
So you're going into Schultz's new show?
Yes, I'm singing three songs.
Do I know the composer?
You do well.
Making a success of me in
spite of myself I suppose.
Don't you want to be a success?
I want to be a success, but on my own.
Yes, that's very noble,
but you'll find every successful man.
Has a woman somewhere around the corner.
Laurie, you're cheating
yourself out of success.
Well if it's only myself I'm cheating
it's all right I suppose.
It isn't only yourself my dear.
Well, go on.
I know what you're going to say.
Your success is my success
or something equally wrong.
I'd like someone else
to do my hair please.
Very good madam.
Gracie, Gracie, Gracie!
What lovely music!
All right what will it be?
Hold it please.
Thank you.
Wasn't the music lovely?
Congratulations, it's marvellous.
Dry your eyes, powder your nose,
put on that lovely new dress.
And I'll take you out for supper.
Which lovely new dress Oscar?
The one that looks like
it's cut by the censor.
Hello Willie.
Congratulations Gracie.
- Thank you.
- It's going fine.
Thank you very much.
Couldn't be better, fine.
- Goodbye.
- I don't what to say.
I'm truly racing with joy.
It's very nice of you.
Congratulations, Mr. Schultz.
Gracie, Gracie!
Was it all right?
Was it all right?
Can a chicken swim?
The greatest success
I ever had in my life.
What did I tell you?
You told me you'd pay
me 12 pounds a week.
Can't a fellow have a
little bit of fun sometimes.
Have you found him yet?
Not yet miss.
Congratulations Gracie,
you were wonderful.
That's very good, now do one of me.
Listen everybody.
I've had the greatest
success of my entire career.
And it's all due to Gracie.
And the music.
And the music.
Gracie and the music.
The music and Gracie.
Well what does it matter anyway?
Folks tonight I think I'm
in a very generous mood.
I invite you all to have supper with me
at the Dorchester Hotel.
I'm sorry Mr. Schultz
I can't come with you.
Gracie, enjoy your success.
I'm going to enjoy it
at a party of my own.
No no no no you must come to our party.
I'll introduce you to the
best people in the west end.
You come to my party
and I'll introduce you.
To the worst people in the east end.
Listen to her.
Gracie wants her to go to our party.
I want her to come ours.
Now which is to be?
East or west?
- East!
- I say east!
Here, here, now wait a minute.
I haven't invited the lot of you.
Only you can all come along.
If you promise to behave yourselves.
Gracie, where is your party?
At Parker's Peace.
Parker's Peace?
I've heard peace and brandy,
But I've never heard of Parker's Peace.
But I'll find it.
- All right come on.
- Come on everybody.
All aboard for Parker's Peace.
Hello, what on Earth are you doing here?
I'm staying up for
Auntie Gracie's party?
Aren't you going?
No.
Oh, uncle do come.
Look Auntie Gracie's made me an angel.
What for?
It's my fancy dress.
But I haven't got a fancy dress.
Oh yes you have.
Isn't she clever?
Yes, very clever.
I'm glad you all liked that so much.
Now I'm going to sing you a comic song.
Pull there's two, oh.
Let's all blow them on the
cake, one two, oh got three out.
Well old Betsy, tell me, tell me,
What did he say Uncle Laurie?
He didn't say a thing.
He won't come out of there.
I think he's crying.
Gracie, that comic
song is another big hit.
Did Laurie write that?
Who else?
Why that crazy hairdresser,
he's a genius, where is he?
I want to make his fortune.
He's going to write all the songs
for our new show and
you're going to sing them.
- I'm going to find him now.
- But don't go away.
Ladies and gentleman together.
From my heart, I ask you
what can a fellow say.
On such an auspicious occasion?
Your warmth makes me
want to give a speech.
I'm too full for words tonight.
Of course Gracie's big success tonight.
Has made me historical.
I don't want to make a
speech no more tonight.
I think we ought to have Gracie to say it.
- Give her a chance.
- Yeah, give us a chance.
Boys and girls, before I make a speech,
I would like to mention
that this party has
become such a large one
on account of Mr. Schultz
bringing all his friends,
That I am going to ask
him to pay for the lot.
Tonight tonight I feel like Cinderella.
No more manicuring, no more
sneaking around corners.
In a pair of number nines
and a fireman's helmet.
- I'm finished with all that.
- Yeah, good luck to you girl.
A fairy waved her wand
and here I am at the party.
How many other girls can
boast of such good luck?
Probably the only happiness is they have.
Is being in love with someone.
But look at me, I've got
what I wanted, success.
I can have beautiful
clothes and lots of money.
- Of course you can.
- Everything I wish for.
So what do I care about love?
I'm perfectly happy.
Can't you see how happy I am?
Listen, Laurie's first tune,
dance all of you, dance!
Go on, dance, I'm happy.
I'm perfectly happy,
dance everybody dance.
Let me see you dance, come
on dance all of you come on.
Here choir everybody dance choir!
Laurie!
Laurie!
Laurie!
Laurie, Laurie, Laurie!
Laurie!
Laurie, Laurie, they're calling for you.
They want you.
But how about you?
Your success is my success my dear.
And there's nothing else in life but you.
Hello hello hello.
Gracie, Gracie, it's come, it's come.
What has the milk?
No, my new song printed
and everything look.
With the publisher's compliments.
Oh well that will do you a lot of good.
What will?
The publisher's compliments.
Don't you realise I'm a real live
honest to goodness composer?
Oh no you're not you're just.
An ordinary common English barber.
Lady's hairdresser if you please.
Oh we call them
barbers where I come from.
And you won't be much longer
if Delmonico catches you.
You've been late three times this week.
Oh song writing's much better
than hairdressing any day.
So is knitting, come on,
I'll see you downstairs.
Hi, wait a minute, coming over!
Got 'em, don't forget
to put the curtains.
Hello everybody, listen to this,
Got his first song, published at last.
Hello, hello everybody, give
you a copy of my first song.
Here you go dad, sing this.
What give me a kiss?
No, sing that song.
What do they say?
Jolly good song.
Laurie's new song.
I've got one of them for
you too, sing one of those.
Come on everybody, go on at once.
Look Nancy isn't it marvellous?
Laurie's first song, published at last.
Go on, sing it sing it on your feet.
Me too.
All right darling,
here are you you sing it.
Throw out your chest and hope for best.
We'll bring you back a big
doll to put you to bed tonight.
Oh wouldn't that be nice?
How exciting, if it's
as good as all that.
You should be able to
give up hairdressing soon.
It's wonderful Ms. Josie.
Of course it's only my first.
I'd like to hear it.
Sing it Gracie.
Why it's wonderful Laurie,
It's the best song I've heard in years.
Do you mean it?
Oh of course, Oscar Schultz my manager.
Must hear about you at once.
Would you like to play
to him if I arrange it?
Rather.
How does the chorus go again?
Try not to.
- Come on boys.
- Come on.
Two pounds.
Here now.
Oh come on.
Oh, I've got a letter for you.
It's been here all evening,
where have you been?
Looking on the bright
side of life you know.
I know.
That's the idea.
You're just in time.
All right all right,
better late than never.
Yeah hang on just a moment Gracie.
Oh it's from Ms. Joy.
Mr. Schultz wants to hear one of my songs.
Next Monday at the Dorchester Hotel.
She talked to Oscar.
Who'd think she would?
Oh I knew she would.
You're glad aren't you Gracie?
Glad lovely, it's the chance
you've been looking for.
Oh, I feel so happy.
I feel I could dance right to the top.
You'll dance to the
top, I always knew it.
I wish all life was easy
as going up these stairs.
You watch your step,
You'll find coming down's easier still.
Oh Grace, what a wonderful day.
Yeah, but there's only one
thing about wonderful days.
You feel they can't ever happen again.
I'm not giving you a second chance.
After tonight we say goodbye.
Did you hear that?
After tonight we say goodbye.
Poor devil.
But Laurie, what a
wonderful title for a song.
After tonight, we say goodbye.
Too sad.
Not a bit, the public wants something
nowadays to make them wipe their eyes.
And wish they'd done better
by their old mothers.
By Jove, you're right.
That's a good idea.
I'll start on it right away.
See if you can get it ready in time
to play for Mr. Schultz.
Ready in the morning, madam.
Laurie, I'm so so happy.
Got 'em.
Oh marvellous!
- I'll tell you girls...
- I shouldn't tell you
a story like that, but you know.
It's awfully hard to get
rid of a nice girl nowadays.
Sure.
I once had a girl in my company
working for me for years.
She used to bother the life out of me
from morning till night,
I'd made up my mind
I was gonna get rid of her.
So I said to her one day, "I
got a nice surprise for you."
She said, "Is that so?"
And I made her the present
of a beautiful jewel case.
She opened up the jewel case.
And she said, "Why it's empty."
I said, "Yes, that's the surprise.
Darling, is your last
dress silver, lilac or gold?
Silver, what are you serious darling?
Are you having a good time Mr. Kinkaid?
Yes, thanks old man.
Well you better take advantage of it.
Because you may never get another chance.
Back the winner of the
gold cup Mr. Schultz?
Well I find there's no such luck.
I only one two races in my lifetime.
And one was from a policeman.
I think it's heaven.
Thank you man, this is fine too.
I don't know about his songs,
But water waving is too divine.
I'm dying to see manager's friends.
Or the manicurist she's a scream.
Well lady I must say.
That there ain't really
nothing new nowadays.
I just came back from my holidays.
I've been to Brighton
this time for my holiday.
I live by Mrs. Bloomberg.
You know Mrs. Bloomberg?
No.
She calls her hotel The Palms.
I looked around.
I couldn't find no Palms,
I said, "Mrs. Bloomberg,
"Why do you call your hotel The Palms?"
She said, "Well when you go away,
"The waiters will show them to you."
Okay, what's the matter with that fellow
that you're tangled up with?
That barber of Seville, what's the idea?
I hope he keeps better time with his music.
Than he does with his appointments.
Oh be quiet, he's on the way.
Mr. Laurie and Grace.
Here are you Laurie, I
thought you would never come.
- Good afternoon.
- How do you do?
- This is Laurie.
- How do you do?
I suppose you've almost given us up.
Almost, well what should we call it?
A close shave.
Come on and have a cocktail.
Grace, this is Mr. Schultz.
How do you do Mr. Schultz?
- So you file nails eh?
- Yes.
Well if your boyfriend
don't write me some songs,
I'll file my petition.
Oh and here's some cocktails coming.
Well cheers.
Cheers.
Haven't wasted much time have you?
I'd rather not.
Would you like to hear Laurie sing now?
Yes, I'm ready.
Gracie, won't you sing it?
All right play up.
Shh, shut up, I want to hear this song.
She's going to sing.
I want to hear this song, please.
What did I tell you?
Trust old man Schultz.
- Marvellous.
- Wonderful.
Wonderful, wonderful,
you are not a manicurist.
You're a grand artist.
How do you mean?
Come here, I want to
have a talk with you.
It was perfectly marvellous.
Oh dearie.
Have a seat and something to drink.
All right I'll have a drink.
Waiter, bring two martinis
and I'll have a sandwich.
Sit down now.
Of course you know Oscar Schultz.
Anyone who don't know Oscar Schultz.
Don't know that Columbus
discovered South Africa.
Well go on say what you've got to say
and get it off your chest.
The song is all right
but the way you sing it.
How about appearing in my show?
You'll be the greatest
proposition in years.
I'll pay you 15 pounds a week every week,
But no commission.
No, not even 15 pounds
a week would tempt me.
I like my meals regular.
Oh, here Gracie have a drink.
Thank you.
What is that?
Ham sir.
Ham he brings me.
My father all of a
sudden should see me now.
Take it away and bring me something else.
What you want to think
about Gracie is the money.
Think what you could do about it.
Silk stockings, silk camisoles, silk.
Well I don't want to go
too deep in the matter.
Even silk bill slips wouldn't tempt me.
Gracie, I'll make it 20 pounds a week.
What is it this time?
Bread and butter.
Bread and butter he
brings me take it away
and put some hame in it.
Now listen sweetheart,
the more I think of you
as a manicurist, the more I realise.
You are wasting your time.
Yes, so are you.
Come on Laurie.
Come on Laurie, come on home.
We can't go just yet.
Besides it would be look bad.
Yes so do you.
I'm all right.
I've been getting ideas.
Yes, bad ones.
Don't you see, that if
I can only get a contract
from Schultz to writer all Josie's numbers.
For his new show I shall
make a name for myself.
You're making one for
yourself now, look at you.
Come on Laurie, come on home.
They've all heard your song.
What's the good of staying here?
Oh Laurie, be a dear.
And play that song over again would you?
Oh, he can't he's
taking me to the pictures.
What?
Oh of course.
I thought you'd like to
be interested in his song.
- Oh do I only I...
- It's quite all right.
There's lots of time.
What's the matter with you Gracie?
Like you, something's coming to my head.
- Are you coming?
- When I choose
and not before.
Laurie, play that song again please.
Yes, please.
- Shall I?
- Please.
No it doesn't go like that.
No, it's like that look.
Yes that's right.
Goodbye everyone.
Dear Gracie,
Come here Gracie, where are you going?
Home.
But you can't walk out
of my club like that.
Well I have haven't I?
Don't be a fool.
I'm giving you the chance of a lifetime.
I'll tell you what I'll do.
I'll give 30 pounds a week.
Nothing doing.
Hi Oscar.
Wait a minute, this is business.
Gracie, I'll make it 35 pounds a week.
I'll make it 40.
Qi, oi oi!
Oh so you've managed to
wake up at last have you?
What's wrong?
By the look of you I
should say everything.
What time did you get home this morning?
Oh about half past three.
You've got to be at
work at nine o' clock.
- Oh no I haven't.
- Well what do you mean?
No more hairdressing for me thank you.
Why should I when I can make
lots of money writing songs?
Don't be a fool.
You can't chuck up your job.
Just because you've sold one song.
One song?
Why I'm gonna sell thousands.
Who says so?
That dyed hair stuck up lizard
who calls herself an actress?
You don't like Josie do you?
I do not.
And I like her less
still for keeping you out.
Till three in the morning.
But I am not a child.
I can take care of myself.
Oh yes, look at you.
Have you seen yourself in the glass?
What?
Well there's no reason to be saucy.
You slept in your clothes
all night last night.
Well you better change that pin shirt.
Before you catch a death of cold.
I shan't ask you to the funeral.
No, you won't be able to.
Good morning girls.
Good morning contessa.
Good morning Delmonico.
What marvellous manners
his attendants have.
I've only been here twice.
And he's remembered my face.
Yes, there are some
faces he never forgets.
Oh dear hurry up Delmonico.
I've got a rehearsal today.
And Schultz is always angry after a party.
Have my apologies, they are all busy.
I am distracted, but when you take away.
My most popular dresser from me.
Oh Laurie is going to
write all my songs for me.
Oh I've no time to wait,
But I'd love to have my nails done.
I will send a lady to you.
Where is that wretched Gracie?
Two more times later and I'll
give her the sack right away.
Have you seen Gracie?
No not today Delmonico?
Have you?
Where on Earth have you been?
I've been waiting five minutes.
Don't shout, I'm not deaf.
Don't be impertinent.
This is the result of treating
you as an equal last night.
Oh will you shut up?
Don't you dare speak to me like that.
A manicure please and a
shampoo if there's time.
Oh but you don't do that do you?
No, but I will in this case.
Oh sorry.
This water is too hot.
Nothing's too hot for you, sorry madam.
Oh sorry madam.
You're doing that on purpose.
I shall report you to Delmonico.
Oh report away, think it's all lucky you
if you were let down lightly.
I will attend
to it myself counsellor.
Why I...
Quite all right, I'll do
your hair wash for nothing.
Did you call for Delmonico?
Delmonico!
This girl's gone raving mad.
Please Josie, what has happened?
Why she seized me, seized my head.
And just sprayed me all over.
- Why I haven't!
- What?
I'll never enter this shop again.
And you, what have you to say?
Well I had to stop her talking somehow.
You get out.
What?
You are
dismissed, you understand?
Too long I have tolerated
your continual unpunctuality.
This is the end.
Hi?
Go.
And consider yourself lucky
I don't send for a policeman.
And charge you with assault.
Yes madam?
Could I see the manageress
of the beauty parlour?
In through that door madam.
Thank you.
Of course I don't really want a manicure.
I'm looking to see if there's a job going.
Ah, this way milady.
You're a bit swift aren't you?
I must have my table Oscar.
Well you've got it lovely.
This place is too grand for me.
Silly Billy, wait till
I make you a real success.
Come on let's do everything together.
Come on I think we'll have a little bath.
And we'll put you to bed.
Oh no, let's stay up instead.
Instead?
I'm going out with my boyfriend tonight.
I have to be very beautiful.
Oh really well how would
madam like her hair done?
Water wave, Marcel wave or permanent wave?
I think I'll have a Marcel
and permanent wave please.
You'll have a permanent wave,
Well well I think we'll
have a little washing first.
Oh no.
Oh yes, now what soap
would madam prefer?
Oh you're usual sir.
Oh monkey then.
Come on, get those off.
There you are there you are madam,
you'll find our baths are very good.
And highly recommended.
You'll find them splendid for rheumatism.
Oh they're wonderful for rheumatism.
Dear oh dear where's the soap?
Here it is then, there we are.
Oh dear.
How dare you put soap in my eyes.
I shall tell the manager.
Manager, come here please.
This woman's put some soap in my eyes.
I think you'd better give her the sack.
Oh, what again?
Did you hear what he said?
You're dismissed.
Dismissed.
Here you are darling, it's all over.
And now to bed.
Oh no.
Sing to me first.
No, not tonight darling,
I'm terribly tired.
Just a little please,
the one with Uncle Laurie.
Laurie wrote all about the world to me.
All right if you promise to be in bed.
And fast asleep by the time it's over.
All right.
There that's better.
Do you like it?
Well I think it's wonderful.
Do you think Schultz will like it?
Of course.
He's been pretty beastly.
About all the other songs
I've written for you.
Oh, he's jealous.
Oh, is that it?
Of course darling.
Josie, sing this song as
you've never sung before.
Then old Schultz will
have it in his new show
and I shall be a big success
and you'll be a big success.
And we can be together for good.
Oh I shouldn't tell Schultz
that part of it if I were you.
Oh why not?
Oh you know how men are.
Oh stop worrying about your song.
And come and talk to me.
Sip?
Match?
Ooh, I can see the flame
reflected in your eyes.
What fun.
You make me feel like a flame.
Ooh, what a lovely line for a song.
Let's write lyrics together shall we?
Being with you is like a lyric.
Why, that's really poetry, lovely.
You're lovely darling.
I love you.
Hey is that the title of the new song
what you've brought me?
No, I was having a
private talk with Josie.
So will I, you ain't the first one.
But I don't understand.
Mr. Schultz I think ought to tell you
that Josie and I...
Oh Laurie has brought
you a new song, I like it.
That don't mean a thing.
What's the name of it?
I Hate You.
Well let's hear it
and if it ain't any better than the others
that you've brought me last week,
I'll hate you too.
Say do me a favour.
Cut my hair for me will you please?
I suppose you think that's funny.
Funny, not half as funny as that song.
Well if you don't like it,
there's no need to be rude.
Don't need to be rude, what
do you want to do kiss you?
Didn't I give you 100
pounds to write some songs.
For my new show and what
have you done with it?
Wasting my good money to take
my actresses and others out.
Instead of doing what you paid for.
Why, I need inspiration.
Well why don't you run around the park,
You'll get all the
perspiration that you need.
Funny aren't you?
No I ain't funny.
I'm angry.
I showed this song to Max
Walters, do you know him?
Do I know Max Walters?
I knew him when he was only
a blush on his mother's face.
Besides, he ain't no judge of anything.
Listen, the first two, three
songs that you wrote for me,
they wasn't so bad,
especially with that girl,
That what did you call
it that Gracie woman.
But since I gave you that money,
you gave me nothing but rubbish.
My songs aren't rubbish.
Rubbish, rubbish I
know it when I see it.
Say you can't do nothing.
You're nothing but a fake.
But Oscar!
Joy, listen let me tell
you something young lady.
Why do you hold yourself so cheap?
That fellow thinks he can
get you for a mere song.
It's better than the lousy
parts you give me anyway.
Say say say I've heard that before.
The next time you get
tangled up with a fellow,
make sure that he's a
good songwriter first.
And a good hairdresser afterwards.
How dare you talk to Josie like that.
How dare I?
How dare I?
Well don't that take the cake.
I'll show you what I'll dare do.
I'll show you come around
here and talk to me.
Here, there is your
contract Mr. Hairdresser.
Now take it and get out.
- But Mr. Schultz...
- You ain't stone deaf
are you, get out!
Josie darling you
like the song don't you?
Which song my dear?
The song you've just sung.
You still like it don't you?
Well it's very ordinary isn't it?
Ordinary, I see.
I think I understand.
Goodbye.
Do sit down, Gracie, you're
looking terribly tired.
Tired?
You can believe me, the chap that wrote
I'm happy when I'm hiking.
Never spent a day out looking for a job.
Did you get anything?
Yeah, fresh air.
Why don't you ask
Delmonico to take you back?
Oh, I can just imagine what he'd say.
What me take you back?
No no no no no, you ruin the business,
go away, go away, go away.
Make with the scoot, make with the scoot.
Look up look up look up look up,
there you're all right now,
Now what were you trying to say love?
Why don't you be a
police lady like mommy?
That child's full of ideas.
Yes and bread and jam.
Oh do be a police lady,
you'll look so funny.
Can you see me on my first day out?
With all the kids following me?
Ha, dogs and all.
Can you see me in a baton and arms
and a fireman's helmet?
Come on lads, over here we go.
Come on, over, over, come on, come on,
Don't look so dull, miss oi,
stop, stop or I'll make you.
May I have a word with you Gracie?
You may quite likely
we shall have several.
Hello Uncle Laurie,
Are you really going to marry an actress?
Now Betsy you're getting terse,
It's time you were in bed, come along.
- Oh no!
- Yes it is time
- you've been in bed.
- Aunt Gracie...
Come on along, I'm gonna put you to bed.
- Oh no I want...
- Yes I am.
I want some grapes.
You can't have the grapes, come along.
My dolly.
All right darling here it is, come on.
And my rock!
You want the police
station that's what you want.
Oh no I don't need to go to bed!
Afraid I've made myself unpopular.
Who with?
I expected to find you alone.
Yes, I generally am these days.
Well, there's no charge for seats.
It's a long time since
we've seen each other.
I was wondering
whether you might like to.
That is I thought I'd ask
you to sort of well you know.
Well now you've managed
to make yourself so clear
what is it you do want?
Well it's about this song.
What about it?
There's something wrong with it.
What's it called?
I Hate You.
That's what's wrong with you.
I feel it's good.
And yet when I hear it, I...
Who's been singing
it, your friend Josie?
It doesn't sound
right when she sings it.
Why not isn't she the greatest
thing that ever happened?
I am sorry.
Yes, you've said that before.
You've you've always
helped me before Gracie
and I thought perhaps you might.
Yes Gracie's always helped you before
and when you want something
you come rushing back to Gracie.
Thinking she'll help you again.
And she does.
Goodness knows why, because
she's soft I suppose.
Go on, sit down and play it.
Women are fools.
What key is this?
C.
Sounds like hell.
Oh my dear Gracie you're too perfect.
I'm so glad you think so.
Well are you coming in?
Oh no, I'd look such a fool.
Besides the costume wouldn't suit me.
Come on.
Anything's better than
worrying about Laurie all day.
I want her to join up.
Don't you think she'll be all right?
Bravo, we've got lots of nice
girls like her in the force.
Oh, there's some of them.
There you are.
Come on I'll join, I can
see something fun here.
Fun, you wait until you
see Sergeant Rose Hutton.
You wait till Sergeant
Push Button sees me, come on.
Hey, how do I look?
Scared out of your wits.
No I mean do I look
like a policeman's woman?
If you do, well I don't.
Look at your tunic.
What kind of a temper
is Maggie Dripping It?
Who?
Sergeant Push Button.
Oh she's bound to be in a bad one.
She's never in a good one.
I wonder what she was before
she was a police sergeant.
A bear I should think.
Not you!
Why were you late?
Well sir or mum madam, I
wouldn't have been any use
if I'd been here any earlier.
Why?
I was asleep.
Policewomen never sleep.
That's funny, old
soldiers never die.
You're a fool.
Report to me in the morning.
Aye aye sir.
Well so long see you tonight see.
Good day son.
Hey!
- Missus.
- Hello.
Quick this gentleman pinched your fish,
do you wish to charge him?
I have charged him, six pence at it.
Here you are Charlie, give
my love to your mother.
Bit fresh ain't you?
Aye, more than your fishes.
New on the job?
Be a bit more careful next time miss.
Come on you have a round madam.
All right.
One two three.
What's all this?
You bringing ridicule on
the police force again?
The kids to have a game and I...
You're a policewoman, not a nursemaid.
Report to me in the morning.
Aye aye sir.
Coming in Charlie?
Is your mother out?
Yes.
Fine, I'll come in for a minute.
Hello Gracie, how's things?
Caught any burglars?
Yes, two, I gave them a
schilling each and let them go.
My luck's out.
I saw Laurie this afternoon.
You did, where?
He's back at his flat, broke.
Old man Schultz has turned
me down for good and all.
I must go to him.
He won't see you.
Besides, you can't you're on duty.
Well then I'll see that I get the sack.
Look out, here comes the sergeant.
What does this mean?
They still think they can sing.
You listen to me.
How dare you!
Again you are alone again
with a lack of discipline.
Report to me in the morning.
Don't worry dear.
You can't get out of the force that way.
I'll give you something
to occupy your time.
What are you doing in high town?
This isn't a place for a policewoman.
This is my beat now.
Get away.
That's right.
Well take a little tip.
Keep away from a fellow named Sykes.
He'd eat you.
Oh yeah so it happens I like cavemen.
Well Sykes they let you out again?
Come on love.
Hey there lady, give me a number.
Hey hey.
Here.
Thanks.
Pick him up.
Take him away.
Some people has all the luck.
I wish I'd have been in time.
I could do with a few more stripes.
If you've got anymore
you'd look like a zebra.
Wonderful Gracie, wonderful
you'll be a shining light.
To all policewoman oh I'm so excited.
What else can I say?
Report to me in the morning.
Not to me, the commissioner.
They'll make you a sergeant for this.
Me a sergeant?
Don't you think they'd give
me a discharge instead?
I should smile.
So should I.
Mr. Schultz can't see anymore today.
But I have an appointment.
I've been here three hours.
Here you are I've had 40
songs published this year
and if you think I'm
gonna hang around all day.
For Mr. Schultz, your
blooming well mistaken.
Didn't he get my card?
Here you are, pick it out yourself.
Say tell that cadre of hooligans.
When I want them I'll send for them.
I heard 50 songs today
and all of them are piffle.
And it's all your fault.
My fault?
Here we are we gotta put
on a show in one week's time
and we ain't got one
song that means anything,
Just because you're
barbarous friend let me down.
Who is it?
Oh, Lady Assaud.
Excuse me, good morning, I'm
pleased to see you again.
Of course my show is going
on, in one week's time, yes.
What?
Don't pay no attention to the newspapers.
They make mountains of moleskins.
Molehills darling.
Say who the hell is talking
over this telephone anyway?
No no no no, lady, I
wasn't talking to you.
Got a cat here that's meowing.
It's useless arguing with you.
You're so illiterate.
Say say say I'm just
as legitimate as you are.
No no no no you've misunderstood me,
I didn't mean that to you I
was talking to no no wait.
Now look what you've done.
Well what do you want me to do?
Hold your hand?
No I want you to hold your tongue.
You ain't got no heart.
You ain't got no brains.
You ain't even got no talent.
All right well close the
lousy show for all I care.
I will close the lousy,
I will close the show.
Did you ever see that damn telephone.
Is ringing the whole day
long, hello who is it?
What does she want?
What's her name?
Grace?
Grace?
Tell her I won't see her.
I only want to see my bank manager.
And even him I don't want to see.
I understand you don't
want to see me Mr. Schultz.
That's quite right.
Well here I am.
In that case, I will see
you, now what do you want?
I want to talk to you
about my friend Laurie.
See I've got enough of that fellow.
For the rest of my lifetime.
Well give him another chance.
Not on your life.
His stuff is rotten, he's a fake.
His songs want singing.
Listen, would you let
me sing them for you?
See, the more you laugh,
The more I think that she is right.
That's a great idea.
It'll be a novelty and
that's what the public want.
What you mean you'll let me?
Yes, I'll take a chance.
Here, come sign your contract.
Wait a minute, how much money do I get?
25 pounds a week.
Are you being serious dear?
Well whatever it is,
it won't be for long.
Your last offer was 40
pounds a week Mr. Schultz
and that's what I want.
40 pounds a week, how do I know.
You're going to be worth 40?
Well how do you know
I'm going to be worth 25?
That's right, I never thought of that.
We'll make it 12.
Ah, stop your messing, 40
pounds a week or nothing.
All right, put your
signature on this contract.
That all right?
Your word is sufficient.
What are you gonna do with
all that money Gracie?
Shall I keep it for you?
No thanks, I'm gonna give a
big party to all my friends.
Ah Gracie you'll have plenty parties.
I'm gonna make you a big star.
He once said that to me.
Didn't I make you a star?
Can I help it if you didn't twinkle?
Gracie, tomorrow you come
to see me in the theatre.
We make you some beautiful gowns.
You will look so swell.
That even your own
mother wouldn't know you.
I want you to go to the best
hairdresser that you can find.
Who will you go to huh?
Delmonico's.
Yes, that's right.
Give him a surprise.
Yes, can you see me
with my head in the air.
Walking into Delmonico's and him saying...
You want me to take you back?
No no no no, you ruin the business.
Go away, go away.
Make the scoot the make the scoot.
You'll excuse me,
But I want my hairdresser and a manicure.
I seem to have been in this place before.
Shall I go to the same cubicle?
What would you like madam?
Can I see the menu?
Wave my hair please.
Oh I beg your pardon I
thought you said a manicure.
I distinctly said a shampoo.
Oh shampoo forgive me,
I'm all mixed this morning.
I know like cocktail.
Madam's hair is coming out, my word.
Madam's hair is coming out.
Perhaps madam's worried about something.
No, madam hasn't a worry in the world.
I once had a client who quarrelled
with the man she loved
and it affected her hair.
To such an extent that it
came out in hand fulls.
Oh, well I've never been in love.
So that can't be the reason
for my hair coming out.
That's most peculiar,
because it's an established fact.
That love makes people lose their hair.
Yeah, it makes some
people lose their heads.
Yes, look what happened
to Queen Elizabeth.
Aye and Anne Boleyn.
Oh careful about that.
I beg your pardon, such a witty remark.
When did you make up your mind
you'd become a hairdresser again?
When I discovered that I was
a failure at writing songs.
You're not a failure.
I'm second rate and you know it.
You're just a bit silly
at times that's all.
Well it may interest you to know.
That I've come to my senses now.
This is a job I do understand.
It may interest you to know
that I'm going to be an actress.
And that's a job I don't understand.
Are you serious?
Quite.
Laurie, why don't you snap
out of it and be happy?
I'm giving a party after the first night.
To all of our old friends Parker's Peace.
Won't you come?
No thanks, I don't
go to parties anymore.
So you're going into Schultz's new show?
Yes, I'm singing three songs.
Do I know the composer?
You do well.
Making a success of me in
spite of myself I suppose.
Don't you want to be a success?
I want to be a success, but on my own.
Yes, that's very noble,
but you'll find every successful man.
Has a woman somewhere around the corner.
Laurie, you're cheating
yourself out of success.
Well if it's only myself I'm cheating
it's all right I suppose.
It isn't only yourself my dear.
Well, go on.
I know what you're going to say.
Your success is my success
or something equally wrong.
I'd like someone else
to do my hair please.
Very good madam.
Gracie, Gracie, Gracie!
What lovely music!
All right what will it be?
Hold it please.
Thank you.
Wasn't the music lovely?
Congratulations, it's marvellous.
Dry your eyes, powder your nose,
put on that lovely new dress.
And I'll take you out for supper.
Which lovely new dress Oscar?
The one that looks like
it's cut by the censor.
Hello Willie.
Congratulations Gracie.
- Thank you.
- It's going fine.
Thank you very much.
Couldn't be better, fine.
- Goodbye.
- I don't what to say.
I'm truly racing with joy.
It's very nice of you.
Congratulations, Mr. Schultz.
Gracie, Gracie!
Was it all right?
Was it all right?
Can a chicken swim?
The greatest success
I ever had in my life.
What did I tell you?
You told me you'd pay
me 12 pounds a week.
Can't a fellow have a
little bit of fun sometimes.
Have you found him yet?
Not yet miss.
Congratulations Gracie,
you were wonderful.
That's very good, now do one of me.
Listen everybody.
I've had the greatest
success of my entire career.
And it's all due to Gracie.
And the music.
And the music.
Gracie and the music.
The music and Gracie.
Well what does it matter anyway?
Folks tonight I think I'm
in a very generous mood.
I invite you all to have supper with me
at the Dorchester Hotel.
I'm sorry Mr. Schultz
I can't come with you.
Gracie, enjoy your success.
I'm going to enjoy it
at a party of my own.
No no no no you must come to our party.
I'll introduce you to the
best people in the west end.
You come to my party
and I'll introduce you.
To the worst people in the east end.
Listen to her.
Gracie wants her to go to our party.
I want her to come ours.
Now which is to be?
East or west?
- East!
- I say east!
Here, here, now wait a minute.
I haven't invited the lot of you.
Only you can all come along.
If you promise to behave yourselves.
Gracie, where is your party?
At Parker's Peace.
Parker's Peace?
I've heard peace and brandy,
But I've never heard of Parker's Peace.
But I'll find it.
- All right come on.
- Come on everybody.
All aboard for Parker's Peace.
Hello, what on Earth are you doing here?
I'm staying up for
Auntie Gracie's party?
Aren't you going?
No.
Oh, uncle do come.
Look Auntie Gracie's made me an angel.
What for?
It's my fancy dress.
But I haven't got a fancy dress.
Oh yes you have.
Isn't she clever?
Yes, very clever.
I'm glad you all liked that so much.
Now I'm going to sing you a comic song.
Pull there's two, oh.
Let's all blow them on the
cake, one two, oh got three out.
Well old Betsy, tell me, tell me,
What did he say Uncle Laurie?
He didn't say a thing.
He won't come out of there.
I think he's crying.
Gracie, that comic
song is another big hit.
Did Laurie write that?
Who else?
Why that crazy hairdresser,
he's a genius, where is he?
I want to make his fortune.
He's going to write all the songs
for our new show and
you're going to sing them.
- I'm going to find him now.
- But don't go away.
Ladies and gentleman together.
From my heart, I ask you
what can a fellow say.
On such an auspicious occasion?
Your warmth makes me
want to give a speech.
I'm too full for words tonight.
Of course Gracie's big success tonight.
Has made me historical.
I don't want to make a
speech no more tonight.
I think we ought to have Gracie to say it.
- Give her a chance.
- Yeah, give us a chance.
Boys and girls, before I make a speech,
I would like to mention
that this party has
become such a large one
on account of Mr. Schultz
bringing all his friends,
That I am going to ask
him to pay for the lot.
Tonight tonight I feel like Cinderella.
No more manicuring, no more
sneaking around corners.
In a pair of number nines
and a fireman's helmet.
- I'm finished with all that.
- Yeah, good luck to you girl.
A fairy waved her wand
and here I am at the party.
How many other girls can
boast of such good luck?
Probably the only happiness is they have.
Is being in love with someone.
But look at me, I've got
what I wanted, success.
I can have beautiful
clothes and lots of money.
- Of course you can.
- Everything I wish for.
So what do I care about love?
I'm perfectly happy.
Can't you see how happy I am?
Listen, Laurie's first tune,
dance all of you, dance!
Go on, dance, I'm happy.
I'm perfectly happy,
dance everybody dance.
Let me see you dance, come
on dance all of you come on.
Here choir everybody dance choir!
Laurie!
Laurie!
Laurie!
Laurie, Laurie, Laurie!
Laurie!
Laurie, Laurie, they're calling for you.
They want you.
But how about you?
Your success is my success my dear.
And there's nothing else in life but you.