Lord of the Toys (2018) Movie Script
Of course, the machete
is linked in the video description.
If you accept,
I'll beat the shit out of you.
Chug it, chug it,
chug it for my fans.
Mulm!
But... Actually I couldn't
show you anything else,
because my content
is always like...
Just whatever I'm doing,
I point the camera at it
now and then.
That has never changed.
And if the camera
isn't running,
the exact same things
would still be happening.
Sometimes it's much worse
when the camera is turned off.
I mean, when I'm editing a video
and upload it, I'm fully conscious...
Yay!
-Yay!
You fucking pig, yay!
-Finest wine!
Finest champagne! Mulm!
That was simply beautiful!
Ouch, burnt myself.
Take it already.
-Dirty Jew!
Oh boy, please.
Wow, really good!
-Finest melon!
Hey Adlersson, that's disgusting!
Yeah, yay...
Landlord, stand aside, will you.
The finest Japanese!
Let's go, please!
-Where do you wanna go?
They'll fuck us
only for the melon already.
Which melon?
That was them, wasn't it?
And now guess who got you home.
Oi, yay.
Mulm!
Uhm... Hello?
How do you know
a sausage is ready?
Well, by shooting the vlog!
That's a selfie,
dickhead!
Tomorrow it's happening!
No, wait, the day after tomorrow.
Try the sausage. Hello?
Ouch, it is damn hot.
-Cool.
That's what I wanted to hear.
There you go, it's yours.
How many rounds?
-All of them...
How am I supposed
to chug half the wine?
No, drink half
and I finish the other half.
Hey, that's Kaliskaya.
He's following you and Max, too.
On Instagram...
That's correct.
Hello?
Knock it back, already!
-You're supposed to drink it!
Yeah,
I'd like to get pissed with you...
He wants to outdrink me,
but doesn't drink a drop...
He wants to bullshit the guy.
-He wants to bullshit me.
Max?
Half a bottle each.
-Well...
Who's on TS right here?
-Shut the fuck up.
Wait a sec.
TS-guys, who's online?
Martin... No!
-I'll screw your mothers!
We're drinking now!
-Martin...
Shut your face!
He's right, he's right.
Just drink, now!
Well, there's a guy with balls,
for a change!
Hey, we won't chug it.
The challenge is
just finishing first.
Ok?
-Take your time.
I loose voluntarily.
What kind of shit is that?
Do you know how much that is?
-I can't chug it like this.
That's at least 150 ml.
-Give me the headset again.
I can't drink it like this.
I'd have to puke.
You got anything
to mix it with?
I really have to say...
-Martin!
...I salute you!
I won drinking
against Adlersson!
That's correct.
Dude, how do you do that?
-You know that bloke?
Martin, statement?
-No, not Martin.
Shall I give a statement
to Adlersson's vlog, now?
Well, tell the audience
why you defeated me.
Paul?
-Yes?
Why did I defeat Max?
-Dunno.
Dunno.
-Because you're a fucking hog!
That's correct.
He's just faltering.
Martin, statement!
I admit,
I lost the booze contest.
The bottle of vodka is gone
and this man won.
The vodka was on your ass,
by the way.
No, my flatmate's ass.
-This guy can't bear it no more.
Whose?
-My flatmate's.
What was I about to say?
No, I'm really fine.
We're having corn and coffee.
Boy, I haven't ordered any coffee.
-No? Someone else?
What?
-The Landlord, no?
Martin...
we're having coffee.
Around 11.30 pm
I'll have a car again.
Oi.
Ok. Hmm.
And this is the final.
No, stop. Hello,
just leave it there, will you?!
No doubt.
-No, leave it there!
Just leave it there, dude,
are you retarded?
Ok.
Whoever knocks
this one back first...
...is the king
of this fucking evening, ok?
For all I care.
-Then give me your fatty hand.
Paul?
Yes, do you need anything?
-F-f-f-fatty hand on it?
What do you need?
-Fatty hand on it?
What?
My fucking fatty hand on it.
Look at my hand.
Is it fat? Yes, isn't it?
Yes, your hand is fat.
And your hand is full of honor.
-But open it first.
Yeah, I'll open both now.
-Do you need tissues or something?
No, we don't. Hello?
What's wrong with you?
Ok, we'll grab it simultaneously.
You'll give us a signal...
Ok, I will.
And only then
are we allowed to touch the bottle.
Ok.
-And then we down it.
No, no, no.
Yes, yes.
You give us the signal.
Hand on it.
-Ok, three, two, one...
Hello?
-No, put it back down.
Ok, there we go.
It's already too late.
Knock that shit back, brother.
Man, both of you
still have a sip left.
Both of you still have a sip left.
Come on, one sip each.
And how are we
deciding this now?
Who's the winner now?
Hey, that stuff smells
actually really good.
That's not an answer
to my fucking...
I have to see the bath.
Really, that was very stupid.
You know, I'm standing
fucking straight, you pig.
I'll gas you.
Well, gas me then.
I already am.
-No doubt.
Shut up,
I'll kill you.
The windows have to be closed.
Otherwise the gassing
is ineffective, you pig.
Did you deserve this?
Well, I'm...
Hello, please,
calm down.
I knew I'd drink you
under the table, you pig.
Only with
deodorant spray, right?
Yeah, no, no.
I'm inhaling this just like you.
Leave it there.
Your snot's all over the place,
you scumbag. Oh, boy.
You told me to gas you,
so I'm gassing you.
I quote: "Gas me."
And I'm following
your command.
Ok, there you go.
-Well, I am.
Oi!
Got the car again.
Well, how long will you take,
dickhead?
I wouldn't...
If you...
Are you really spraying...
I ordered this online, dude.
I just pressed it
very briefly.
I was trying to
gas him all along.
Hey, maybe we don't have to
finish it, you know?
Oh, ok. Sure.
But this one's ok, isn't it?
-Yes, you can finish that.
I hope so.
-No, dude.
He deserved it,
this fucking bastard.
What kind of stuff is that?
-Glass cleaner.
Well, his glasses need to be cleaned.
-You pig!
Yeah, no, no perfume,
you scumbag!
Mulm!
Ouch.
Jesus Christ, ouch.
Mulm!
Man, he's coming again.
Take your fists down!
No, let's, let's...
He really goes for it,
doesn't he?
Let's... till tomorrow.
Tomorrow!
What do you want, now?
I want you to puke.
I'm not puking.
Oh, boy,
take your undies down.
Come here!
Oh boy,
what are you doing?
What's wrong with you?
Give me your shorts,
they belong to me now.
He really undresses.
That's so gay.
They're mine now.
I'll put them on now.
Oi.
Mulm!
Mulm!
You pathetic piece of shit,
the fidget spinner's mine now.
What's his Instagram name again?
God of Wine?
God of Wine...?
Alright, God of puke.
-Oh, stop it now, you retard.
That's gross.
-Yeah...
Oh boy, I...
Oh, please.
Oh boy, no way,
sorry, close it.
When I smell puke
I have to puke, too.
I'll get something
to clean up, stay calm.
Hi everybody and
welcome to my new video,
today the second unboxing
of a Ross Antony Deluxe Box,
which is only 30.99 Euros again.
Let's take a look what's in it.
Ok, first of all
we have this mask here.
"Wanks" a lot!
(Thanks a lot!)
That's Korunas.
It's only 40 but, anyway,
I'll invest it in cheap wine.
My wallet's gone but...
Do you want to kiss each other?
-No.
You're sick with your
fucking schnapps, dude.
When you get it as a birthday present
from your parents...
You're 18 already?
-No, 15.
No way!
-Yes.
You sick fuck.
-Wanna see my ID?
No, absolutely not!
Rather hand it over to those guys.
I'll fuck your face.
In your face!
This pig pussies out again.
I'm freaking out.
Have fun with the album
musically and physically,
if you treated yourselves
to the box.
See you soon and
I love you all.
Oi.
-Oi.
Well...
Well, we're unpacking
fan mail again, I guess.
Speak up, please.
-I said we're unpacking fan mail...
...and Menzer should get
the fuck out of my car.
Laugh my ass off.
I'll take that sticker.
-I couldn't care less.
That's... Well...
A deck of cards.
The trainee's book of etiquette 2014.
-Wank you.
I'm hoping for an energy drink
in the fan mail, I'm really thirsty.
Boy, please!
You threw it over to me, didn't you?
-Yes, but for using it outside, not here.
Oh boy, what the fuck.
Oh, boy...
-Boy!
It's empty.
Subscribe Lacoste-Amanda
on YouTube.
December 4th 2017, excellent!
What the...
Oh wait. I'll read this one,
some company sent that,
but asked me to unpack it
in a fan mail video.
Finest creatine.
Maybe I'm going to use it in terms of
my Adlersson-Transformation.
It's by PGN...
Oh, no.
Is that urine?
-Yep.
I want to show it to the camera.
-Ok, sure.
Yeah, apparently
that's urine in a bottle.
Lousy hobos.
Why, that's 25 Cent.
It stinks in here. Well...
There's no URL,
but just google PNG,
PGN I mean, and then...
That's your business.
-Oi.
What?
"The Landlord is a racist."
-That's true.
Elias: "Work's calling 8i"
There you go.
What time is it actually?
We'll have to hurry up...
-Huh?
...if we wanna give blood later.
And then we'll wash the car.
I'll have to see juvenile court assistance
after blood donation.
And after that?
-Yes, after that. Dunno...
I've got time today.
-I'll google for a scrap yard.
You'll crash
at my place again, anyway.
Fuck.
No, I've got the house for myself.
You can crash at my place.
Oh yeah, true.
You can have the couch.
It's fat enough for you.
No, I got driving lessons tomorrow.
That's crap.
Alright, have a nice day!
-Yep!
I'll get myself some ice cream.
I'll be off then.
-Yeah, ok. But wait for me.
So, let's see.
All good.
Leave it on for two
or three hours, alright?
Yes.
You're ok?
You look a bit pale.
I always do.
-Sure?
I'm good.
Drink something when you leave.
-Yes.
And get some ice cream.
Thanks a lot.
-Yep.
Have a nice day!
-Ok, thanks.
Chug it, you cunts.
-Of course!
Shouldn't we go get some more schnapps?
But real schnapps, for a change?
This one's not tasty.
Can we get Berliner Luft,
or something?
Whatever it's on your ass, my pleasure.
-Treat us!
See?
-Fuck you!
I don't have much money.
-No...
We could have gone to your place,
you've got schnapps, don't you?
I don't have schnapps at home.
Not you, him.
-No, I don't have schnapps at home.
No...
Why should you have schnapps at home?
You don't drink alone at home, do you?
Tastes ghastly, boy.
-It's true.
I'll start a livestream,
once the wifi works.
Mulm.
-First thing, block her.
Boy.
-Will you stop filming me, man?
So, tell us what we're doing here.
Well, we're hanging out,
chilling, and...
...the booze is here, too.
So have a sip!
-Oh boy, no way! It tastes so disgusting.
Chug that shit now.
Chug the shandy, come on.
Come on!
-Knock it back!
Nothings gone yet.
-Chug the beer, you fucking bastard.
Come on, come on,
come on!
Yeah, there you go.
Knock it back,
knock it back. Let's go!
Come on, come on,
come on...
Next video's coming in the near future.
-There's still something left, no?
It's empty,
that's foam, man.
Yeah, alright.
We'll let you get away with it.
Will you please stop your own livestream?
It's useless,
everybody is watching him!
I don't care.
-Then I'll start another one.
Let's see
if you can save it afterwards.
Yes it's gonna be there,
you can save it or set it to private.
Well, I'd like to upload it.
If you pull yourselves together now.
Yes, you can upload it.
Read us the comments.
-What do you think about wanking?
You're supposed to read us the comments.
-I don't want to read them.
"I'd be interested in shoving
this gentleman's ears
up my anu..." Oh boy!
Lol. "Max, go home
and let these losers alone."
No way,
I'm delighted by their misery.
Fuck you.
-Fuck yourself, you piece of shit.
"Sieg Heil..."
-Shut the fuck up, will you?
That's what is says.
-Don't read it then.
I'm just saying what...
It's simply beautiful.
"Seibt denies the honeycaust."
Better watch their stream.
"...fat Seibt is fat."
-You don't say...
"Sieg Heil..."
Boy, you're not supposed
to talk bullshit here!
I'll cut off your fucking micro penis
and force you to eat it, you pig.
"David Homonkulos:
Oh boy, fuck he can read."
I'm shitting my pants.
Keep insulting this bastard
reading all this shit.
He's really the last wanker.
-Shut the fuck up and read it yourself.
Get the fuck out off my...
-Fuck off, you piece of shit.
Get the fuck out of my livestream...
-Get the the fuck out of my country!
Read this one up here,
that's simply beautiful.
"Bullying Seibt because he is overweight
is anti-social."
"He doesn't deserve that."
"Just kidding,
that fat fuck deserves it."
"He who eats like a pig,
can bear the bullying."
Boy!
-It's so beautiful.
"Inkognito tickles fat Seibt anally."
Boy...
Please stop it.
"Wank you so much."
"I want to give Seibt a titty fuck."
"Hector Panzer is a decent nigger."
-Boy, please!
That's what it says...
-Oh, that's what it says...
"Adolf Hitler is
The Landlord's foster father."
Stop it, will you?
I'll fuck your face.
Boy!
-My nose is hurting.
Hello?
Oh boy, now I hit
that thing because of you.
You fucking rats.
That wasn't me!
-Man, leave the...
Oh boy!
Dude, you dickhead.
Wait a sec.
That was really
absolutely sick yesterday.
Well, I'm going to have
all the videos sent to me,
that he put on Instagram
and report him to the police.
Because the house owner
is charging me now,
I'm gonna get kicked out of the apartment
without the rental deposit.
And I will take
legal action against that.
But Moritz...
Fuck you!
What's this guy's problem again now?
He really pisses me off, dude.
It's so retarded.
Ooh, I ran out of fuel,
ooh, I got to get up early tomorrow,
ooh, I'm a jew.
Boy, Max,
it's agairiothebellpaunch...
Itagairothebellpaunchaargh...
Fuck you, David,
fuck you!
Man, Freddy, can you simply finish recording
your voice messages until the end,
without abruptly stopping,
or speak a bit clearly?
You only get
the half of what you're saying.
Boy, fuck you guys,
The Landlord is still a racis...
Shut your stupid shabby gob,
you filthy son of a bitch
or I'll fuck your mum,
you ugly bastard.
I'm throwing up thinking about this scum
I'm in the same group with.
Hereby I'm spitting
in your face.
Man, please. Marius.
Mulm, mulm, mulm...
What's going on
in the deposit-jews-gang today?
Do you want total war?
-Human trash...
Waaaaaank.
-Sieg Heil, the war was awesome!
Oi, finally WhatsApp again,
you pig.
Get the fuck out of my group!
Tastes alright.
The heat smacks you so hard, man.
-Oh boy, I'm so dizzy.
It's super hot.
34 degrees or something.
-Aren't you used to that?
Well, since I'm living in racist east Germany
I'm not used to that anymore.
You filthy dog.
-Oi.
That's you as a dog.
Boy, that dog's really sweet,
I can see it in his eyes.
That's you.
What's wrong with you guys?
What's his name? Matthias?
-No, Elias.
Oh, Elias.
-Yes.
What the fuck.
The black Nazi Elias.
What the hell?
Black in the hood.
You're Kinch, dude.
From now on you're Kinch for me.
From Hogen's Heroes.
What the hell?
Man, I can't handle this.
You think I can?
It's a shock for me, boy.
Listen, I'm going in there and you...
-That's black humor.
You're passing me like this.
This is how you passed me.
-Yep.
It's only logical
I have to react, isn't it?
Doesn't matter,
you passed me like this, too, so I...
No, you passed me like this.
You guys came together like this.
Awesome, dude, awesome.
He speaks a perfect Saxon dialect.
I can't take it.
I just can't take it.
That's awesome!
It's so awesome!
Come here, big boy.
Awesome, man, awesome!
And I always thought
you'd rub off on me,
but I'm still white.
You lousy pig!
You've gotten yourself
into something here...
We Dresden folk are the most amazing,
there won't be any better,
so we travel to Aue
and act like it don't matter.
Hello.
-Yep.
You have to do
something for me.
I can't get onto the internet.
-What?
But that's Anja's...
No, Im not even getting
onto the internet.
Do you have a can or so,
that I can make at home?
What?
-A can of food?
I just have those raviolis.
I don't have anything else.
I'll take the raviolis then.
Thanks.
Two homicides
made headlines in the news.
The first one happened 2013.
A bouncer is shot down.
Four months later
a bike squad crashes a caf.
In the back room
the Hell's Angels execute a rival,
who has interfered
with their business.
Hell's Angels belong to the
so called OMCGs...
It's so perverted, dude.
Now, now, now, now...
How long is this
going to take?
I guess four minutes
and 20 seconds.
Maybe three.
But it would be nice
to do something together.
After dinner.
-Well, I have a job now.
You don't say.
Well, tell me.
Well, it's called
congress helper.
Sounds good.
Better than donating blood.
Well...
-Well, alright.
So.
...store away in your car,
as they don't go over...
...organized and sorted...
...all the deposit...
Can we please go now?
Would you rather have me
working on night shift now?
Yes.
I'd like to see that.
Because I would pick you up
at work then. Or well, actually...
Last time
I picked you up,
you were like half an hour late
or something.
...as that's where...
...rough neighborhoods or the city center...
...as that's where they get
pissed the most.
Collected one month for ten kilograms.
Ten kilograms!
How much was it?
-I'd guess around 80 Euros.
That's only from today.
And it probably will be
twice the amount tonight.
It's simply beautiful.
You could make
a living only off of this.
I can easily pay the booze.
-Can't argue against that.
Hallelujah.
May God bestow his blessings
upon you, you pigs.
Lol.
Delightful.
-That's only half a day's donations.
Need a ride?
Just a sec, I'm coming.
I just have to take a picture.
Wank you!
Get a job!
Oh boy. Dude.
-Yeah, it's broken. Let's go.
Well, I don't want
to break it.
This is third gear, right?
Or is it first gear?
-Yes.
Ok and now?
Do you feel that?
Hello?
Why are you putting
your foot to the floor?
I don't!
Alright, oh man,
I've never stopped a car before.
Why is this so abrupt?
Because you have to press
the clutch down while breaking.
How am I supposed
to know that?
I told you to press
the clutch right down.
No.
-Press it right down, the clutch.
Steer back,
steer back.
Sure, relax.
Step on the gas a little more.
-Dude, that's sick.
A little more gas.
-No!
Yes, so you can
release the clutch.
Man, but I don't want to
drive so fast here.
You're just at 6 mph.
That's way too fast for me.
Someone's coming here. Dude, please.
If the place was empty at least,
but there's cars everywhere.
Fuck you!
What am I supposed to do now?
-Steer.
Where?
-This way.
Oh sick, dude.
Accelerate a little more.
-No!
Yes! Because otherwise
you'll stall the engine!
Oh boy, you're...
Boy, I can't...
Aright, enough.
Press the clutch right down.
And stop.
-Right down?
Oh boy!
Love you.
-No, that was...
That wasn't too bad.
-Well...
No it really was quite ok.
Absolutely amazing!
That was so going to happen.
Emergency starting, please.
Boy, no clue what they did here.
Somehow they...
This thing was wrecked by lousy junkies.
-Yeah, probably, man.
It's stuck. It swallowed
my ten euros just like that.
I suffered a fucking month
without gambling.
That's better, isn't it?
You're saving money.
Yes, I know. I need the money for
my new apartment and stuff.
The problem was, like,
they sent us all the change in the fan mail.
So we went to the bank
with Methenvieh,
Max's father,
you probably know him, right?
Yes, a bit.
Well, so we...
Can you roll me one?
I'll try.
So we took the change to the bank
and it was 70 Euros.
And you gambled it away again?
No, I gambled away 80,
so ten more on top.
I'm completely insane.
That's probably true.
Want a cookie?
-Sure. Thanks.
Oh man, I'm so sick of it all.
I'm fed up with everything.
What are you fed up with the most?
I'd like to have something,
that satisfies me in the long run.
Heroin.
That fucking train!
Tell the audience
why you defeated me.
Paul, why did I defeat Max?
-Dunno.
Yeah, can you please
wrap up the vlog, man?
Max, I can tolerate more than you...
-Yes, I know that.
I'm drinking more than you...
-Yes, I see that.
On Tuesday
there will be alcohol as well.
This is East Germany
at it's best...
What's your statement
concerning this man in your background?
Absolutely cool.
The Landlord is a racist,
The Landlord is a racist.
What's the Landlord?
The Landlord is a jew.
Landlord is a racist.
The Landlord is a racist and fucks apes.
-No doubt!
Mulm. Landlord,
knock that nigger fucker flat.
The Landlord has his period and is a cunt.
The Landlord is a fucking pig, mulm.
The Landlord is a Nazi.
-A Nazi!
Hey, I've got it from reliable sources,
he is really far right.
The Landlord is a racis...
Stop talking nonsense,
just post it in your story, buddy.
You'd really do me a big favor.
Mulm!
Yesterday was pretty heavy again.
Paul was completely wasted.
And we kept cruising around
until five in the morning.
And things should go on like this,
or what?
No, I vowed to myself,
I'll never spend money on booze again.
I'll only drink
when it's on some other jerk's ass.
It's not good.
-The Landlord is a racist by the way.
What kind of crap
is that again actually?
Well, The Landlord is a racist.
You're really nuts.
-At least the audience likes it.
They imitate it and that's the goal.
Nothing else matters.
People always say hi
on the streets
and some just yell
"The Landlord is a racist" instead now.
Just instead of saying hi.
That's everything that counts.
No, sorry,
I turned off the bell.
It's crazy.
There's some fatso
with glasses sleeping here.
If you need a jacket,
for five bucks it's yours. It's original.
Five bucks, it's yours.
-No.
Need a hifi system?
-No.
A keyboard, mouse, computer?
-No.
No? Sure?
Don't want to reconsider?
A microwave?
Why do you have
working shoes,
when you haven't worked
a single day in your life?
They're Erik's.
I don't know why he left them here.
It's crazy, isn't it? Pulls them off
his cheesy feet and leaves them here.
Smell it!
Throw that bottle out of the window
and shut up.
Shut the fuck up.
-Do you actually drink a lot?
Where's this internet hype
actually coming from
concerning your
political conviction?
Get the fuck out of here, dude.
It really pisses me off.
I just heard people call you a Nazi.
-I'm not a racist, you bastard.
I can't hear or read
that shit anymore,
it's so fucking annoying.
-You're talking about apes again?
Everyday, 50 messages:
Are you actually racist?
Just say yes.
Three letters and send, my goodness.
Max gave me your number,
I'm supposed to piss you off.
I can't hear that shit anymore.
-Mulm!
I want to wake up that fatso down there.
-There's a small child sleeping.
Not long anymore.
-She's seven. We're seven, too, aren't we?
Wake up, you whore.
Get yourself a job.
What kind of bullshit hoody
are you wearing actually?
It really pisses me off.
Where did you get it?
Bought it.
What's that, man?
Why?
That's at McDonald's.
Can you please never
wear it again in here?
Can you please shut your mouth
with your stupid politics shit?
Shut up yourself!
What are you doing?
-I want to take them back home empty.
Mulm, mulm.
-No, no, no...
Mulm!
Hello?
Stop that noise
you retarded idiot!
For the gang, yeah, yeah...
-No, no, no...
What the...
Are you actually completely retarded?
-Don't make such a mess in here, man.
For the gang, yeah, yeah...
What are you...
Leave my...
Yuck, don't throw garbage, man,
this is an apartment.
Give me the Goldkrone,
I need...
Dude. Are you fucking serious?
The last schnapps, man.
What's wrong with you, you fat bastard?
-There's still something left.
Shut the fuck up
or I'll beat the crap out of you.
Come here then, I'll smack that thing
up your face, you bastard.
What's that, weights?
-Yes.
That's really yucky!
Oh boy.
-Fuck you.
That was him.
I'll shoot you down. I wouldn't mind.
-Yeah, particularly you.
Do you have some sort of illness
or something? It's completely sick.
You always have to destroy
everything mindlessly,
like some bastard.
It's on you.
-Yes, it's true.
Good evening.
Yo, wait,
I'm done here in a sec.
Finest cooking.
Do you have any plans
for the future?
No.
So finish high school first and then...
Yes, also that.
Yeah, nice.
And apart from that?
What's up in Dresden?
Well, nothing really.
I've quit my...
I had this bad
on-off-relationship and...
The girl I was with in Paris.
Your grandma.
No, but...
Yeah.
Dunno, that came to an end
for now and then some...
I mean we didn't talk
for a month now
and it's quite crazy.
Yes.
Some girl just texted me
on Instagram with a fake account and...
Hot!
At first she just asked,
can I still marry you?
So I just punched in my number
and she texted me and said
this is my real profile.
I took a look
at her real instagram profile
and it's a
super tasty hot chick.
It's weird,
it's completely weird.
Look how this guy's dining.
Yeah.
Tastes good?
What are you up to tonight,
Gamel?
What?
-What are you gonna do tonight?
Meeting Klose.
-Unkl you mean?
Right, Unkl.
Well.
And what are you gonna do?
-Go here.
Really?
I'm super thirsty.
Wanna join?
No. I'll have to cook.
He has to cook with me.
And what are you gonna cook?
Quark.
Rice with beef.
I mean minced beef.
Five eggs,
tomatoes,
sliced cucumber
and then I'll prepare the coffee,
I'm gonna make the next morning.
What did they do here?
Huh?
-Huh?
Hello?
Tell me, what happened here?
-They cleared out the place.
Why?
Well, cleared out the place.
How?
-Took the stuff and goodbye.
And where did they take it?
-Dunno.
Weren't you here?
I wasn't here last night,
I don't know what happened.
Nothing happened. When I went this morning
everything was just fine.
Now my TV is gone,
my computer, everything.
Where is my stuff?
We'll just say:
Mother, we gambled all our money away.
Wait. Now. Ok.
This is definitely my cue here.
Mother, we gambled all...
Wait...
Just wait until it clicks
and then...
No, I said: Mother,
the man with the coke is here...
Mother,
we gambled all our money away.
Well...
Mother,
we gambled all our money away.
Not too bad, actually.
-Hmm...
Ok.
Wait.
Now, just hold it
into the camera like this.
Good. And action.
And now again
with a bit of movement.
I mean like with the head
and stuff.
Ok.
You'll have to film me again.
Good to go?
-One moment.
You tell me
when you're ready.
Yo.
Max Herzberg:
10pm: Party @ TheLandlords,
Nrnberger Str. 14
They took everything?
Yes.
Well, ok.
I didn't even notice that,
when I just came in.
There's a door standing here.
Sorry, I can't handle this,
it's completely overwhelming me.
Me too.
Why did they take away
his fucking computer?
Can you explain that to me?
-Fucking bastards.
I'm gonna hang it on my fridge.
Wanks a lot!
Wait a sec, he has to...
That's all from...
-Here that's it.
What?
Man...
-What's that?
What's that? No way.
Wow.
Dude, those figures.
I couldn't even pay that.
This bill.
It's absolutely insane.
Oh, that's the delayed...
No shit.
Now, some people
really came here, that's...
It's the most beautiful party ever...
Loyal subscribers.
You think our party
is gonna be like that?
I mean, at least...
Fuck it, I'll just pack everything
he really needs.
This can't go on like this,
he can't stay here.
Either to the looney bin or his mom's.
Something like that.
The pictures, will he still need them?
-Dump them.
No, I hope
he will burn them one day.
What the...
why the hell does he...
Legal attorney Prof. Guido Holzhuser:
A bill of 137 Euros.
Just tagged "Landlord" on it.
-Here's a bag.
That's the one he collected
deposit bottles with on Father's Day.
Don't care.
Here are some trousers.
He's got trousers on already,
doesn't he?
A court order that they may seize money
from his account... Dude!
The Landlord's got
cash after all.
Hundreds of quid.
What the hell,
are they really still fitting him?
Boy, please.
So sick, dude.
Anyway you can build your life
on Instagram followers.
He just cracked 10k, fucking hell!
I heard you can start
a new life with that.
It was 9600 a couple of days ago.
No!
It's a pocket pussy.
That has to be in the story.
-Shut the fuck up.
I'm shitting my pants.
-That's sick, dude.
Human dignity is inviolable!
You're packing it?
-Of course I'm packing it.
Dude!
Shoutout to Tanzverbot.
Is this hookah-tobacco?
So I'll save a trip to the head-shop.
What?
We packed your stuff.
-We've packed.
Also found the pocket pussy.
Shut up!
It's Nick's.
It's Nick's, just say that.
I just want to get out of here.
-So, let's go.
Your documents are in here.
Still need the door?
-Clothes...
And in here are all the
FC Dynamo-Scarfs and stuff.
Well, that's Danilo's stuff.
Danilo's stuff doesn't matter...
let's get out of here now.
Did they take the wifi router?
Yes.
There's no wifi anymore?
I'm going to lose my shit in a minute.
Everything is gone.
Everything.
That's absolutely fucked up shit.
Cordon just dragged
the wifi thing out of the wall, Max.
Everything is gone.
Protect children against poverty
THE LEFT.
Did you bring my bag?
What kind of bag? There was nothing inside.
-The Dynamo bag.
There was no bag.
-Sure there was.
No.
-By the window.
You're an idiot.
-We can't get back inside again.
All the windows are broken.
You can't close them anymore.
Apparently they broke in
through the back and the front.
Yeah.
They even just left the ladder where it was,
for when they come back.
Can you burn it?
We did that once.
The cops really stopped in Klotzsche
where I burnt my old pocket pussy.
I'd like to blow it up
with a firecracker.
Get the fuck out of here!
I'm throwing up.
Max, can you come here, please?
Please take a picture.
-I'm puking.
Yeah,
you have to stand straight.
Landlord, see you.
Good night.
I'm so full of shit.
Create - not adminstrate - the future.
FREE DEMOCRATIC PARTY
Give me that.
Lol, lol, lol...
Man, what's wrong with you?
You pathetic piece of shit.
May I invade you?
-No, you may not.
This thing is entirely blunt,
as far as I know.
This one?
-Yes, well...
He tried to,
I mean the machete man,
he tried to sharpen it,
the curvature, with a plate.
Oh man, there's still dust on it.
-No, that's cream cheese.
Curtis, don't you want a beer?
That's not Curtis,
it's the machete man.
It's the machete man...
-That's why the machete is here.
Where did he...?
-He kicked in the door at The Landlord's.
He destroyed everything,
didn't he?
He flipped,
because he was... Dunno.
But the thing with his wifi and his computer,
that was a bit too much.
The thing is,
had I not taken the computer,
you would have seen it
cut into pieces.
Oh, so it wasn't sold,
but minced.
Man, he jumped
through this door...
I wanted to keep him away,
because he was on... I don't know.
He destroyed it?
-He chopped the whole place up.
We took all the stuff and...
Who's the machete man?
You don't even wanna know.
-Is it this big one?
It's an entirely insane guy.
-The big guy from the main train station?
Yes, oi.
-A big one and like this here?
I know him.
-You don't know him.
He looks like
he could be your big brother.
You don't know him.
-You really don't.
Man, the windows were
open again at the Landlord's.
You know why?
-They're broken, no? He can't close them.
I've got no clue...
no clue, no clue...
You wanna know
why they were broken?
So the Landlord
can't lock the place anymore.
So you can always enter
with the ladder.
No, because like I said,
I gave him money and stuff
and one night
I was really ill,
completely ill,
like with fever
and I'm standing outside
at two or three in the morning
and then he tells me, him and Danilo
were told not to open the door.
Yes, we were supposed
not to open the door.
The Landlord always said that.
That fat lazy beanbag
is sitting there in the corner,
I'm like, bam,
kicking in the fucking door, man.
He asks me:
Where are the keys?
Me: Pow, punch him in the face.
I told him: You give me the keys now.
Because the keys
stay here now. Period.
And if you go get some food
or whatever, you get back in
because the other one
is still there.
Then he told me I'm a faggot.
-The Landlord?
So I said, hey, bro,
your ex-girl was here,
Please sort it out with her.
He looks at me,
completely on whatever substances,
"I'm not scared of you,
or what."
Yelling at me,
saying "You faggot..."
I open the door, look at the girls,
at the guy and tell him,
this happens
when you call someone a faggot.
I was totally wasted anyway,
turn around and just, wham-bam,
right out the flow of my movement,
like a boxer.
You know. Bam.
It just clapped like this,
but it was my fist making that noise
when I hit his face.
He just flew across the apartment.
Boy!
I just told him again
and again that I'll kill him.
I told him again and again:
I'll kill you, I'll kill you.
I'll kill you. I don't care.
-That's where his nightmares come from.
We have to talk
about that, too.
Listen, I had a metal rod
in my hands.
I swung, twice...
I thought if I start hitting him now,
I might never stop again.
I had really sick thoughts
in that moment,
because I was completely ill...
I MISS MY MOM.
Hi everybody
and welcome to my new video.
You guys have requested knives
and I chose this one.
I purchased it myself
and of course
it wasn't provided in this case.
And this is how it looks,
first impression: gold.
It's both matt and shiny
here on the blade and the knife handle.
And the blade's end
is pointed,
in order to penetrate
matter more easily.
And it looks quite fancy,
doesn't it.
Let's have a look
at the centering of the blade.
Considerable, let's say
60 to the right and 40 to the left side.
So, if you collect these knives
and just want to put it in your cabinet,
this one will serve you well.
But if you really want
to cut or saw things with it,
you'd certainly have to
get a new knife once a month.
I think you know
not to expect
very high quality
for this price,
but you definitely get a cool item,
that really looks amazing.
Have fun with it for those who are
going to purchase it
and to everybody else,
see you soon!
Yours, Max Herzberg.
In your position
I actually think it's quite risky.
I mean anybody here
could take a picture of you and upload it.
And if your boss sees that,
you're fucked.
Yeah, but my boss won't ever see it
because he's 59 years old.
He won't ever see it?
I'm on a good path
to being so successful,
that I can be free
of having to work one day.
Do you really think that?
I thought the other way around.
I thought you'll work so hard,
you won't have to be
a YouTube creator anymore one day.
Herzberg. Can we take a picture?
-My name is: Hail my leader!
Of course you can.
-We only come as a pair.
Work has a way bigger future
than YouTube, doesn't it?
YouTube is always
depending on trends
and once the hype is gone
you're nothing anymore.
It's too risky.
-I'm not following trends.
I never followed any kind of trend.
-No, I know, but...
...indirectly you're like
a trend as well.
Yes, but my consistency
will never change.
And whatever I do
doesn't change my consistency.
Yes, let's hope so.
-Yes.
I just think,
let's say your fans grow older
and the new fans don't think
it's that cool anymore,
the youngsters,
I mean...
Well...
Are we just going to stay
here the whole time?
That's a comrade of the same party.
He knows.
-Yes.
"Der Dritte Weg". (Far-right party)
-We celebrated Sofia's birthday together.
Who was that again?
-Sofia, with Elias and everybody.
Where you were, the other day.
Is Elias also with "Der Dritte Weg"?
I don't know Elias yet.
Elias is black.
He's working in Dingolfing.
In the BMW factory.
Yes, I got that he's from Munich.
Or he works there, I mean.
And he's quite a good pal of ours,
and me and Elias, and everyone,
always when we're out partying...
best party!
You know,
I'd much rather have an Elias
than for example this porn actress
from the NPD (Far-Right Party).
The one who did
gang-bang with all of them.
No, I also used to go
to those rallies
and secret meetings
by the NPD with this...
what's his name again?
Hey, where's everybody?
I have no idea.
So we're standing here
with just anybody?
No, Max is there and Seibt is here.
-Oh, ok.
Say mulm.
-Max, go away now, goddamn.
Did she say go away from her?
Why?
-You're a bad influence.
You drink too much.
Alright, go then.
Hey, is this a provocation or do you want
something from her or...
This woman's drunk.
Yes, but Max, control yourself,
keep your hands to yourself.
You've got a girlfriend.
-I'm not doing anything, am I?
Sure, Max. It's alright.
Just relax now, will you?
The night's still young.
Yeah, she should fuck off, man.
-Yeah, just wait.
Why are you looking at me like this?
You're scaring me.
Hot.
You're really scaring me.
-Oi.
Shut the fuck up.
-No.
I don't even want to eat.
-Sure, sure.
I'm just eating out of boredom.
-Sure.
You can also order something
out of boredom.
We wanted to go to the driving range
together some time to practice.
By all means.
Are we still going to do that?
-In the near future.
Stop saying "in the near future" all the time.
-Well, treat me. Then I'm in.
Just tell me which day.
Why should I treat you, you wanted to...
You want something, not me.
I haven't asked for this.
No, I don't want to destroy my car
driving it for the first time.
You know, then the clutch or the gear
won't work properly. It shouldn't be like that.
Oh, so you'd rather do it
with Seibt again instead of me?
It's not about the person...
It's about you're spending less time
with me than with everybody else.
Yes.
What did the gynecologist
say actually the other day?
With this chlamydia
or whatever you said.
Just asking, you know...
You're such a retard.
Why?
I just want to
keep up the conversation.
Next time we'll dine
in company again.
But we are in company.
We have each other,
don't we?
Yes, and the jews
underneath the floor boards.
Well...
I'm trying to be romantic.
You aren't romantic.
-I need to take a shit.
Will you please order
the bill meanwhile? Love you.
No, you need to go
towards the ferris wheel.
And then first corner right,
so towards your left.
We're right wing, goddamn.
Keep going. We're right wing.
Or right.
-We're right wing.
Well, anyway towards the ferris wheel.
-The center is great as well.
Damnit, keep your fingers away,
goddamn!
Where are your lederhosen?
We're east German low-lifes,
we can't afford...
Why? You get them at Kik's.
We're collecting deposit bottles,
we can't afford lederhosen.
Inside the tents
it's the absolute best.
You'll never experience
anything like it.
It's beautiful inside.
-Yes.
And we can't go in
because we've lost everyone.
Hey, Doris.
Hey, where are you coming from now?
Man, what did you do
with him?
You have some change?
We're gambling-addicts
and collect deposit bottles.
Adlersson!
-Yeah, there he is. Here.
That's Herzberg.
Excuse me, are you Adlersson?
-Yes.
Wow! Fucking hell!
Can we take a picture?
-'Course!
You really rock, man.
-Thanks, likewise.
See you! Have fun, guys!
-Likewise! Don't drink too much.
Are you still addicted to gambling?
-Seventh day without gambling now.
I have no money at all.
I'm working part-time,
I'm five years younger than you.
Inkognito is
way too hetero for me!
And if you're too greedy
to give me two Euros,
but you're throwing 20 Euros
in the slot machine,
please, it's your business,
I don't care.
Yeah...
-Gay as a window!
That's got nothing to do with it.
-No, I don't give a shit, fuck it.
Inkognito fucks children.
-True that.
And animals.
-And he tortures animals.
I really need small change.
-They never heard your name, man.
What a bummer.
-Is that inkognito?
Yeah, give me a little change,
will you?
Where is Hector Panzer?
-Hector Panzer is here somewhere.
Get the fuck out of the Oktoberfest!
But now I've found you.
Yuck!
Yuck, you taste salty.
Someone needs cocaine?
Yes, me!
And Hector Panzer!
Dude!
You lousy pig!
Give me anything, I'll chug it.
A glass of water,
a glass of water...
Fuck off!
Man, fuck off!
Don't you touch her!
Fuck off!
Shut the fuck up!
Just stop it!
Help, he's molesting me!
Heil Hitler!
Hey, he's molesting me!
He's molesting me!
Assholes!
Fuck! He's gone!
Where's David?
David! David!
Fuck!
Come with me now,
they've been attacking me all along.
And you give them a hug.
-Who?
Well, these Chinese here!
They're attacking me!
Hey, what are you doing?!
No! Cut the crap now.
Did you look into your own face, goddamn?
-I hit them, too. I hit him, too.
You didn't do shit!
You were laying on the ground crying.
They attacked me
with three guys, man. I hit...
Don't you ever fucking
scare me like this again!
Now you're in trouble!
First thing you do, I hit...
-Shut the fuck up, man!
Finished, finished, my friend!
Tell your friends we're finished!
Hello, finished, finished.
-Yeah, so fuck off, then!
The freedom of women
is not negotiable!
ALTERNATIVE FOR GERMANY
(Right-wing party)
I really have to say,
this was an amazing day today!
Boy, I...
I should have joined you, after all.
It would have been
a really kick-ass brawl, man.
No, that would have
escalated so badly,
it was bad enough anyway.
But, man, you should have seen it,
Freddy.
It just sucks in Dresden.
Everyone knows me here,
I can't just rumble around.
Man, I would have smashed them.
Dude. I, I...
Man, we would have seen blood!
The blood, I need it again!
I hit this guy so precisely,
it's simply...
Even more beautiful isn't possible.
You couldn't have done it any better.
Bam, and his face was puree!
East, East, East Germany!
East, East, East Germany!
You're so insane!
The Landlord is racist!
The Landlord is racist!
Yeah, oi.
How's this happening, how did you do it?
-I'm wondering myself.
How did you do this?
-I've got no clue.
More than 4000 people,
do you think they'll let everybody in?
I hope not!
My anus is frayed.
Here we go, celebrate,
drink, man, let's go!
Goldkrone!
What happened here is so sick!
-Dude.
How are you, Seibt?
-I just wanna sleep.
What?
-I wanna sleep.
Whoever pulls his weener out
gets a free drink!
All night long
until the end!
Oi. Egg them on, dickhead.
Weeners out!
Weener out and
you'll get free drinks on my ass!
I'm really wasted, bro.
I've been on my feet
for so many hours, man.
If you have to puke,
you tell me, alright?
Do you need some water?
-What?
Pull your weener out!
Do you want some water?
-Yes, please.
You're supposed to pull your weener out!
I want to see weeners!
Hey, can someone get me
a water or something?
Here, take a sip.
Let me sit next to him.
I can't...
I love you, Elias.
I love you!
David and his Girlfriend A. broke up again.
She is now a military soldier in the army.
Freddy finally got
his driving license.
Elias gave up his job for his
career as an influencer.
Sascha, The Landlord, has
broken off contact to the group.
YouTube has removed
"AdlerssonPictures".
But through his other channels, Max has even
more subscribers today than ever before.
is linked in the video description.
If you accept,
I'll beat the shit out of you.
Chug it, chug it,
chug it for my fans.
Mulm!
But... Actually I couldn't
show you anything else,
because my content
is always like...
Just whatever I'm doing,
I point the camera at it
now and then.
That has never changed.
And if the camera
isn't running,
the exact same things
would still be happening.
Sometimes it's much worse
when the camera is turned off.
I mean, when I'm editing a video
and upload it, I'm fully conscious...
Yay!
-Yay!
You fucking pig, yay!
-Finest wine!
Finest champagne! Mulm!
That was simply beautiful!
Ouch, burnt myself.
Take it already.
-Dirty Jew!
Oh boy, please.
Wow, really good!
-Finest melon!
Hey Adlersson, that's disgusting!
Yeah, yay...
Landlord, stand aside, will you.
The finest Japanese!
Let's go, please!
-Where do you wanna go?
They'll fuck us
only for the melon already.
Which melon?
That was them, wasn't it?
And now guess who got you home.
Oi, yay.
Mulm!
Uhm... Hello?
How do you know
a sausage is ready?
Well, by shooting the vlog!
That's a selfie,
dickhead!
Tomorrow it's happening!
No, wait, the day after tomorrow.
Try the sausage. Hello?
Ouch, it is damn hot.
-Cool.
That's what I wanted to hear.
There you go, it's yours.
How many rounds?
-All of them...
How am I supposed
to chug half the wine?
No, drink half
and I finish the other half.
Hey, that's Kaliskaya.
He's following you and Max, too.
On Instagram...
That's correct.
Hello?
Knock it back, already!
-You're supposed to drink it!
Yeah,
I'd like to get pissed with you...
He wants to outdrink me,
but doesn't drink a drop...
He wants to bullshit the guy.
-He wants to bullshit me.
Max?
Half a bottle each.
-Well...
Who's on TS right here?
-Shut the fuck up.
Wait a sec.
TS-guys, who's online?
Martin... No!
-I'll screw your mothers!
We're drinking now!
-Martin...
Shut your face!
He's right, he's right.
Just drink, now!
Well, there's a guy with balls,
for a change!
Hey, we won't chug it.
The challenge is
just finishing first.
Ok?
-Take your time.
I loose voluntarily.
What kind of shit is that?
Do you know how much that is?
-I can't chug it like this.
That's at least 150 ml.
-Give me the headset again.
I can't drink it like this.
I'd have to puke.
You got anything
to mix it with?
I really have to say...
-Martin!
...I salute you!
I won drinking
against Adlersson!
That's correct.
Dude, how do you do that?
-You know that bloke?
Martin, statement?
-No, not Martin.
Shall I give a statement
to Adlersson's vlog, now?
Well, tell the audience
why you defeated me.
Paul?
-Yes?
Why did I defeat Max?
-Dunno.
Dunno.
-Because you're a fucking hog!
That's correct.
He's just faltering.
Martin, statement!
I admit,
I lost the booze contest.
The bottle of vodka is gone
and this man won.
The vodka was on your ass,
by the way.
No, my flatmate's ass.
-This guy can't bear it no more.
Whose?
-My flatmate's.
What was I about to say?
No, I'm really fine.
We're having corn and coffee.
Boy, I haven't ordered any coffee.
-No? Someone else?
What?
-The Landlord, no?
Martin...
we're having coffee.
Around 11.30 pm
I'll have a car again.
Oi.
Ok. Hmm.
And this is the final.
No, stop. Hello,
just leave it there, will you?!
No doubt.
-No, leave it there!
Just leave it there, dude,
are you retarded?
Ok.
Whoever knocks
this one back first...
...is the king
of this fucking evening, ok?
For all I care.
-Then give me your fatty hand.
Paul?
Yes, do you need anything?
-F-f-f-fatty hand on it?
What do you need?
-Fatty hand on it?
What?
My fucking fatty hand on it.
Look at my hand.
Is it fat? Yes, isn't it?
Yes, your hand is fat.
And your hand is full of honor.
-But open it first.
Yeah, I'll open both now.
-Do you need tissues or something?
No, we don't. Hello?
What's wrong with you?
Ok, we'll grab it simultaneously.
You'll give us a signal...
Ok, I will.
And only then
are we allowed to touch the bottle.
Ok.
-And then we down it.
No, no, no.
Yes, yes.
You give us the signal.
Hand on it.
-Ok, three, two, one...
Hello?
-No, put it back down.
Ok, there we go.
It's already too late.
Knock that shit back, brother.
Man, both of you
still have a sip left.
Both of you still have a sip left.
Come on, one sip each.
And how are we
deciding this now?
Who's the winner now?
Hey, that stuff smells
actually really good.
That's not an answer
to my fucking...
I have to see the bath.
Really, that was very stupid.
You know, I'm standing
fucking straight, you pig.
I'll gas you.
Well, gas me then.
I already am.
-No doubt.
Shut up,
I'll kill you.
The windows have to be closed.
Otherwise the gassing
is ineffective, you pig.
Did you deserve this?
Well, I'm...
Hello, please,
calm down.
I knew I'd drink you
under the table, you pig.
Only with
deodorant spray, right?
Yeah, no, no.
I'm inhaling this just like you.
Leave it there.
Your snot's all over the place,
you scumbag. Oh, boy.
You told me to gas you,
so I'm gassing you.
I quote: "Gas me."
And I'm following
your command.
Ok, there you go.
-Well, I am.
Oi!
Got the car again.
Well, how long will you take,
dickhead?
I wouldn't...
If you...
Are you really spraying...
I ordered this online, dude.
I just pressed it
very briefly.
I was trying to
gas him all along.
Hey, maybe we don't have to
finish it, you know?
Oh, ok. Sure.
But this one's ok, isn't it?
-Yes, you can finish that.
I hope so.
-No, dude.
He deserved it,
this fucking bastard.
What kind of stuff is that?
-Glass cleaner.
Well, his glasses need to be cleaned.
-You pig!
Yeah, no, no perfume,
you scumbag!
Mulm!
Ouch.
Jesus Christ, ouch.
Mulm!
Man, he's coming again.
Take your fists down!
No, let's, let's...
He really goes for it,
doesn't he?
Let's... till tomorrow.
Tomorrow!
What do you want, now?
I want you to puke.
I'm not puking.
Oh, boy,
take your undies down.
Come here!
Oh boy,
what are you doing?
What's wrong with you?
Give me your shorts,
they belong to me now.
He really undresses.
That's so gay.
They're mine now.
I'll put them on now.
Oi.
Mulm!
Mulm!
You pathetic piece of shit,
the fidget spinner's mine now.
What's his Instagram name again?
God of Wine?
God of Wine...?
Alright, God of puke.
-Oh, stop it now, you retard.
That's gross.
-Yeah...
Oh boy, I...
Oh, please.
Oh boy, no way,
sorry, close it.
When I smell puke
I have to puke, too.
I'll get something
to clean up, stay calm.
Hi everybody and
welcome to my new video,
today the second unboxing
of a Ross Antony Deluxe Box,
which is only 30.99 Euros again.
Let's take a look what's in it.
Ok, first of all
we have this mask here.
"Wanks" a lot!
(Thanks a lot!)
That's Korunas.
It's only 40 but, anyway,
I'll invest it in cheap wine.
My wallet's gone but...
Do you want to kiss each other?
-No.
You're sick with your
fucking schnapps, dude.
When you get it as a birthday present
from your parents...
You're 18 already?
-No, 15.
No way!
-Yes.
You sick fuck.
-Wanna see my ID?
No, absolutely not!
Rather hand it over to those guys.
I'll fuck your face.
In your face!
This pig pussies out again.
I'm freaking out.
Have fun with the album
musically and physically,
if you treated yourselves
to the box.
See you soon and
I love you all.
Oi.
-Oi.
Well...
Well, we're unpacking
fan mail again, I guess.
Speak up, please.
-I said we're unpacking fan mail...
...and Menzer should get
the fuck out of my car.
Laugh my ass off.
I'll take that sticker.
-I couldn't care less.
That's... Well...
A deck of cards.
The trainee's book of etiquette 2014.
-Wank you.
I'm hoping for an energy drink
in the fan mail, I'm really thirsty.
Boy, please!
You threw it over to me, didn't you?
-Yes, but for using it outside, not here.
Oh boy, what the fuck.
Oh, boy...
-Boy!
It's empty.
Subscribe Lacoste-Amanda
on YouTube.
December 4th 2017, excellent!
What the...
Oh wait. I'll read this one,
some company sent that,
but asked me to unpack it
in a fan mail video.
Finest creatine.
Maybe I'm going to use it in terms of
my Adlersson-Transformation.
It's by PGN...
Oh, no.
Is that urine?
-Yep.
I want to show it to the camera.
-Ok, sure.
Yeah, apparently
that's urine in a bottle.
Lousy hobos.
Why, that's 25 Cent.
It stinks in here. Well...
There's no URL,
but just google PNG,
PGN I mean, and then...
That's your business.
-Oi.
What?
"The Landlord is a racist."
-That's true.
Elias: "Work's calling 8i"
There you go.
What time is it actually?
We'll have to hurry up...
-Huh?
...if we wanna give blood later.
And then we'll wash the car.
I'll have to see juvenile court assistance
after blood donation.
And after that?
-Yes, after that. Dunno...
I've got time today.
-I'll google for a scrap yard.
You'll crash
at my place again, anyway.
Fuck.
No, I've got the house for myself.
You can crash at my place.
Oh yeah, true.
You can have the couch.
It's fat enough for you.
No, I got driving lessons tomorrow.
That's crap.
Alright, have a nice day!
-Yep!
I'll get myself some ice cream.
I'll be off then.
-Yeah, ok. But wait for me.
So, let's see.
All good.
Leave it on for two
or three hours, alright?
Yes.
You're ok?
You look a bit pale.
I always do.
-Sure?
I'm good.
Drink something when you leave.
-Yes.
And get some ice cream.
Thanks a lot.
-Yep.
Have a nice day!
-Ok, thanks.
Chug it, you cunts.
-Of course!
Shouldn't we go get some more schnapps?
But real schnapps, for a change?
This one's not tasty.
Can we get Berliner Luft,
or something?
Whatever it's on your ass, my pleasure.
-Treat us!
See?
-Fuck you!
I don't have much money.
-No...
We could have gone to your place,
you've got schnapps, don't you?
I don't have schnapps at home.
Not you, him.
-No, I don't have schnapps at home.
No...
Why should you have schnapps at home?
You don't drink alone at home, do you?
Tastes ghastly, boy.
-It's true.
I'll start a livestream,
once the wifi works.
Mulm.
-First thing, block her.
Boy.
-Will you stop filming me, man?
So, tell us what we're doing here.
Well, we're hanging out,
chilling, and...
...the booze is here, too.
So have a sip!
-Oh boy, no way! It tastes so disgusting.
Chug that shit now.
Chug the shandy, come on.
Come on!
-Knock it back!
Nothings gone yet.
-Chug the beer, you fucking bastard.
Come on, come on,
come on!
Yeah, there you go.
Knock it back,
knock it back. Let's go!
Come on, come on,
come on...
Next video's coming in the near future.
-There's still something left, no?
It's empty,
that's foam, man.
Yeah, alright.
We'll let you get away with it.
Will you please stop your own livestream?
It's useless,
everybody is watching him!
I don't care.
-Then I'll start another one.
Let's see
if you can save it afterwards.
Yes it's gonna be there,
you can save it or set it to private.
Well, I'd like to upload it.
If you pull yourselves together now.
Yes, you can upload it.
Read us the comments.
-What do you think about wanking?
You're supposed to read us the comments.
-I don't want to read them.
"I'd be interested in shoving
this gentleman's ears
up my anu..." Oh boy!
Lol. "Max, go home
and let these losers alone."
No way,
I'm delighted by their misery.
Fuck you.
-Fuck yourself, you piece of shit.
"Sieg Heil..."
-Shut the fuck up, will you?
That's what is says.
-Don't read it then.
I'm just saying what...
It's simply beautiful.
"Seibt denies the honeycaust."
Better watch their stream.
"...fat Seibt is fat."
-You don't say...
"Sieg Heil..."
Boy, you're not supposed
to talk bullshit here!
I'll cut off your fucking micro penis
and force you to eat it, you pig.
"David Homonkulos:
Oh boy, fuck he can read."
I'm shitting my pants.
Keep insulting this bastard
reading all this shit.
He's really the last wanker.
-Shut the fuck up and read it yourself.
Get the fuck out off my...
-Fuck off, you piece of shit.
Get the fuck out of my livestream...
-Get the the fuck out of my country!
Read this one up here,
that's simply beautiful.
"Bullying Seibt because he is overweight
is anti-social."
"He doesn't deserve that."
"Just kidding,
that fat fuck deserves it."
"He who eats like a pig,
can bear the bullying."
Boy!
-It's so beautiful.
"Inkognito tickles fat Seibt anally."
Boy...
Please stop it.
"Wank you so much."
"I want to give Seibt a titty fuck."
"Hector Panzer is a decent nigger."
-Boy, please!
That's what it says...
-Oh, that's what it says...
"Adolf Hitler is
The Landlord's foster father."
Stop it, will you?
I'll fuck your face.
Boy!
-My nose is hurting.
Hello?
Oh boy, now I hit
that thing because of you.
You fucking rats.
That wasn't me!
-Man, leave the...
Oh boy!
Dude, you dickhead.
Wait a sec.
That was really
absolutely sick yesterday.
Well, I'm going to have
all the videos sent to me,
that he put on Instagram
and report him to the police.
Because the house owner
is charging me now,
I'm gonna get kicked out of the apartment
without the rental deposit.
And I will take
legal action against that.
But Moritz...
Fuck you!
What's this guy's problem again now?
He really pisses me off, dude.
It's so retarded.
Ooh, I ran out of fuel,
ooh, I got to get up early tomorrow,
ooh, I'm a jew.
Boy, Max,
it's agairiothebellpaunch...
Itagairothebellpaunchaargh...
Fuck you, David,
fuck you!
Man, Freddy, can you simply finish recording
your voice messages until the end,
without abruptly stopping,
or speak a bit clearly?
You only get
the half of what you're saying.
Boy, fuck you guys,
The Landlord is still a racis...
Shut your stupid shabby gob,
you filthy son of a bitch
or I'll fuck your mum,
you ugly bastard.
I'm throwing up thinking about this scum
I'm in the same group with.
Hereby I'm spitting
in your face.
Man, please. Marius.
Mulm, mulm, mulm...
What's going on
in the deposit-jews-gang today?
Do you want total war?
-Human trash...
Waaaaaank.
-Sieg Heil, the war was awesome!
Oi, finally WhatsApp again,
you pig.
Get the fuck out of my group!
Tastes alright.
The heat smacks you so hard, man.
-Oh boy, I'm so dizzy.
It's super hot.
34 degrees or something.
-Aren't you used to that?
Well, since I'm living in racist east Germany
I'm not used to that anymore.
You filthy dog.
-Oi.
That's you as a dog.
Boy, that dog's really sweet,
I can see it in his eyes.
That's you.
What's wrong with you guys?
What's his name? Matthias?
-No, Elias.
Oh, Elias.
-Yes.
What the fuck.
The black Nazi Elias.
What the hell?
Black in the hood.
You're Kinch, dude.
From now on you're Kinch for me.
From Hogen's Heroes.
What the hell?
Man, I can't handle this.
You think I can?
It's a shock for me, boy.
Listen, I'm going in there and you...
-That's black humor.
You're passing me like this.
This is how you passed me.
-Yep.
It's only logical
I have to react, isn't it?
Doesn't matter,
you passed me like this, too, so I...
No, you passed me like this.
You guys came together like this.
Awesome, dude, awesome.
He speaks a perfect Saxon dialect.
I can't take it.
I just can't take it.
That's awesome!
It's so awesome!
Come here, big boy.
Awesome, man, awesome!
And I always thought
you'd rub off on me,
but I'm still white.
You lousy pig!
You've gotten yourself
into something here...
We Dresden folk are the most amazing,
there won't be any better,
so we travel to Aue
and act like it don't matter.
Hello.
-Yep.
You have to do
something for me.
I can't get onto the internet.
-What?
But that's Anja's...
No, Im not even getting
onto the internet.
Do you have a can or so,
that I can make at home?
What?
-A can of food?
I just have those raviolis.
I don't have anything else.
I'll take the raviolis then.
Thanks.
Two homicides
made headlines in the news.
The first one happened 2013.
A bouncer is shot down.
Four months later
a bike squad crashes a caf.
In the back room
the Hell's Angels execute a rival,
who has interfered
with their business.
Hell's Angels belong to the
so called OMCGs...
It's so perverted, dude.
Now, now, now, now...
How long is this
going to take?
I guess four minutes
and 20 seconds.
Maybe three.
But it would be nice
to do something together.
After dinner.
-Well, I have a job now.
You don't say.
Well, tell me.
Well, it's called
congress helper.
Sounds good.
Better than donating blood.
Well...
-Well, alright.
So.
...store away in your car,
as they don't go over...
...organized and sorted...
...all the deposit...
Can we please go now?
Would you rather have me
working on night shift now?
Yes.
I'd like to see that.
Because I would pick you up
at work then. Or well, actually...
Last time
I picked you up,
you were like half an hour late
or something.
...as that's where...
...rough neighborhoods or the city center...
...as that's where they get
pissed the most.
Collected one month for ten kilograms.
Ten kilograms!
How much was it?
-I'd guess around 80 Euros.
That's only from today.
And it probably will be
twice the amount tonight.
It's simply beautiful.
You could make
a living only off of this.
I can easily pay the booze.
-Can't argue against that.
Hallelujah.
May God bestow his blessings
upon you, you pigs.
Lol.
Delightful.
-That's only half a day's donations.
Need a ride?
Just a sec, I'm coming.
I just have to take a picture.
Wank you!
Get a job!
Oh boy. Dude.
-Yeah, it's broken. Let's go.
Well, I don't want
to break it.
This is third gear, right?
Or is it first gear?
-Yes.
Ok and now?
Do you feel that?
Hello?
Why are you putting
your foot to the floor?
I don't!
Alright, oh man,
I've never stopped a car before.
Why is this so abrupt?
Because you have to press
the clutch down while breaking.
How am I supposed
to know that?
I told you to press
the clutch right down.
No.
-Press it right down, the clutch.
Steer back,
steer back.
Sure, relax.
Step on the gas a little more.
-Dude, that's sick.
A little more gas.
-No!
Yes, so you can
release the clutch.
Man, but I don't want to
drive so fast here.
You're just at 6 mph.
That's way too fast for me.
Someone's coming here. Dude, please.
If the place was empty at least,
but there's cars everywhere.
Fuck you!
What am I supposed to do now?
-Steer.
Where?
-This way.
Oh sick, dude.
Accelerate a little more.
-No!
Yes! Because otherwise
you'll stall the engine!
Oh boy, you're...
Boy, I can't...
Aright, enough.
Press the clutch right down.
And stop.
-Right down?
Oh boy!
Love you.
-No, that was...
That wasn't too bad.
-Well...
No it really was quite ok.
Absolutely amazing!
That was so going to happen.
Emergency starting, please.
Boy, no clue what they did here.
Somehow they...
This thing was wrecked by lousy junkies.
-Yeah, probably, man.
It's stuck. It swallowed
my ten euros just like that.
I suffered a fucking month
without gambling.
That's better, isn't it?
You're saving money.
Yes, I know. I need the money for
my new apartment and stuff.
The problem was, like,
they sent us all the change in the fan mail.
So we went to the bank
with Methenvieh,
Max's father,
you probably know him, right?
Yes, a bit.
Well, so we...
Can you roll me one?
I'll try.
So we took the change to the bank
and it was 70 Euros.
And you gambled it away again?
No, I gambled away 80,
so ten more on top.
I'm completely insane.
That's probably true.
Want a cookie?
-Sure. Thanks.
Oh man, I'm so sick of it all.
I'm fed up with everything.
What are you fed up with the most?
I'd like to have something,
that satisfies me in the long run.
Heroin.
That fucking train!
Tell the audience
why you defeated me.
Paul, why did I defeat Max?
-Dunno.
Yeah, can you please
wrap up the vlog, man?
Max, I can tolerate more than you...
-Yes, I know that.
I'm drinking more than you...
-Yes, I see that.
On Tuesday
there will be alcohol as well.
This is East Germany
at it's best...
What's your statement
concerning this man in your background?
Absolutely cool.
The Landlord is a racist,
The Landlord is a racist.
What's the Landlord?
The Landlord is a jew.
Landlord is a racist.
The Landlord is a racist and fucks apes.
-No doubt!
Mulm. Landlord,
knock that nigger fucker flat.
The Landlord has his period and is a cunt.
The Landlord is a fucking pig, mulm.
The Landlord is a Nazi.
-A Nazi!
Hey, I've got it from reliable sources,
he is really far right.
The Landlord is a racis...
Stop talking nonsense,
just post it in your story, buddy.
You'd really do me a big favor.
Mulm!
Yesterday was pretty heavy again.
Paul was completely wasted.
And we kept cruising around
until five in the morning.
And things should go on like this,
or what?
No, I vowed to myself,
I'll never spend money on booze again.
I'll only drink
when it's on some other jerk's ass.
It's not good.
-The Landlord is a racist by the way.
What kind of crap
is that again actually?
Well, The Landlord is a racist.
You're really nuts.
-At least the audience likes it.
They imitate it and that's the goal.
Nothing else matters.
People always say hi
on the streets
and some just yell
"The Landlord is a racist" instead now.
Just instead of saying hi.
That's everything that counts.
No, sorry,
I turned off the bell.
It's crazy.
There's some fatso
with glasses sleeping here.
If you need a jacket,
for five bucks it's yours. It's original.
Five bucks, it's yours.
-No.
Need a hifi system?
-No.
A keyboard, mouse, computer?
-No.
No? Sure?
Don't want to reconsider?
A microwave?
Why do you have
working shoes,
when you haven't worked
a single day in your life?
They're Erik's.
I don't know why he left them here.
It's crazy, isn't it? Pulls them off
his cheesy feet and leaves them here.
Smell it!
Throw that bottle out of the window
and shut up.
Shut the fuck up.
-Do you actually drink a lot?
Where's this internet hype
actually coming from
concerning your
political conviction?
Get the fuck out of here, dude.
It really pisses me off.
I just heard people call you a Nazi.
-I'm not a racist, you bastard.
I can't hear or read
that shit anymore,
it's so fucking annoying.
-You're talking about apes again?
Everyday, 50 messages:
Are you actually racist?
Just say yes.
Three letters and send, my goodness.
Max gave me your number,
I'm supposed to piss you off.
I can't hear that shit anymore.
-Mulm!
I want to wake up that fatso down there.
-There's a small child sleeping.
Not long anymore.
-She's seven. We're seven, too, aren't we?
Wake up, you whore.
Get yourself a job.
What kind of bullshit hoody
are you wearing actually?
It really pisses me off.
Where did you get it?
Bought it.
What's that, man?
Why?
That's at McDonald's.
Can you please never
wear it again in here?
Can you please shut your mouth
with your stupid politics shit?
Shut up yourself!
What are you doing?
-I want to take them back home empty.
Mulm, mulm.
-No, no, no...
Mulm!
Hello?
Stop that noise
you retarded idiot!
For the gang, yeah, yeah...
-No, no, no...
What the...
Are you actually completely retarded?
-Don't make such a mess in here, man.
For the gang, yeah, yeah...
What are you...
Leave my...
Yuck, don't throw garbage, man,
this is an apartment.
Give me the Goldkrone,
I need...
Dude. Are you fucking serious?
The last schnapps, man.
What's wrong with you, you fat bastard?
-There's still something left.
Shut the fuck up
or I'll beat the crap out of you.
Come here then, I'll smack that thing
up your face, you bastard.
What's that, weights?
-Yes.
That's really yucky!
Oh boy.
-Fuck you.
That was him.
I'll shoot you down. I wouldn't mind.
-Yeah, particularly you.
Do you have some sort of illness
or something? It's completely sick.
You always have to destroy
everything mindlessly,
like some bastard.
It's on you.
-Yes, it's true.
Good evening.
Yo, wait,
I'm done here in a sec.
Finest cooking.
Do you have any plans
for the future?
No.
So finish high school first and then...
Yes, also that.
Yeah, nice.
And apart from that?
What's up in Dresden?
Well, nothing really.
I've quit my...
I had this bad
on-off-relationship and...
The girl I was with in Paris.
Your grandma.
No, but...
Yeah.
Dunno, that came to an end
for now and then some...
I mean we didn't talk
for a month now
and it's quite crazy.
Yes.
Some girl just texted me
on Instagram with a fake account and...
Hot!
At first she just asked,
can I still marry you?
So I just punched in my number
and she texted me and said
this is my real profile.
I took a look
at her real instagram profile
and it's a
super tasty hot chick.
It's weird,
it's completely weird.
Look how this guy's dining.
Yeah.
Tastes good?
What are you up to tonight,
Gamel?
What?
-What are you gonna do tonight?
Meeting Klose.
-Unkl you mean?
Right, Unkl.
Well.
And what are you gonna do?
-Go here.
Really?
I'm super thirsty.
Wanna join?
No. I'll have to cook.
He has to cook with me.
And what are you gonna cook?
Quark.
Rice with beef.
I mean minced beef.
Five eggs,
tomatoes,
sliced cucumber
and then I'll prepare the coffee,
I'm gonna make the next morning.
What did they do here?
Huh?
-Huh?
Hello?
Tell me, what happened here?
-They cleared out the place.
Why?
Well, cleared out the place.
How?
-Took the stuff and goodbye.
And where did they take it?
-Dunno.
Weren't you here?
I wasn't here last night,
I don't know what happened.
Nothing happened. When I went this morning
everything was just fine.
Now my TV is gone,
my computer, everything.
Where is my stuff?
We'll just say:
Mother, we gambled all our money away.
Wait. Now. Ok.
This is definitely my cue here.
Mother, we gambled all...
Wait...
Just wait until it clicks
and then...
No, I said: Mother,
the man with the coke is here...
Mother,
we gambled all our money away.
Well...
Mother,
we gambled all our money away.
Not too bad, actually.
-Hmm...
Ok.
Wait.
Now, just hold it
into the camera like this.
Good. And action.
And now again
with a bit of movement.
I mean like with the head
and stuff.
Ok.
You'll have to film me again.
Good to go?
-One moment.
You tell me
when you're ready.
Yo.
Max Herzberg:
10pm: Party @ TheLandlords,
Nrnberger Str. 14
They took everything?
Yes.
Well, ok.
I didn't even notice that,
when I just came in.
There's a door standing here.
Sorry, I can't handle this,
it's completely overwhelming me.
Me too.
Why did they take away
his fucking computer?
Can you explain that to me?
-Fucking bastards.
I'm gonna hang it on my fridge.
Wanks a lot!
Wait a sec, he has to...
That's all from...
-Here that's it.
What?
Man...
-What's that?
What's that? No way.
Wow.
Dude, those figures.
I couldn't even pay that.
This bill.
It's absolutely insane.
Oh, that's the delayed...
No shit.
Now, some people
really came here, that's...
It's the most beautiful party ever...
Loyal subscribers.
You think our party
is gonna be like that?
I mean, at least...
Fuck it, I'll just pack everything
he really needs.
This can't go on like this,
he can't stay here.
Either to the looney bin or his mom's.
Something like that.
The pictures, will he still need them?
-Dump them.
No, I hope
he will burn them one day.
What the...
why the hell does he...
Legal attorney Prof. Guido Holzhuser:
A bill of 137 Euros.
Just tagged "Landlord" on it.
-Here's a bag.
That's the one he collected
deposit bottles with on Father's Day.
Don't care.
Here are some trousers.
He's got trousers on already,
doesn't he?
A court order that they may seize money
from his account... Dude!
The Landlord's got
cash after all.
Hundreds of quid.
What the hell,
are they really still fitting him?
Boy, please.
So sick, dude.
Anyway you can build your life
on Instagram followers.
He just cracked 10k, fucking hell!
I heard you can start
a new life with that.
It was 9600 a couple of days ago.
No!
It's a pocket pussy.
That has to be in the story.
-Shut the fuck up.
I'm shitting my pants.
-That's sick, dude.
Human dignity is inviolable!
You're packing it?
-Of course I'm packing it.
Dude!
Shoutout to Tanzverbot.
Is this hookah-tobacco?
So I'll save a trip to the head-shop.
What?
We packed your stuff.
-We've packed.
Also found the pocket pussy.
Shut up!
It's Nick's.
It's Nick's, just say that.
I just want to get out of here.
-So, let's go.
Your documents are in here.
Still need the door?
-Clothes...
And in here are all the
FC Dynamo-Scarfs and stuff.
Well, that's Danilo's stuff.
Danilo's stuff doesn't matter...
let's get out of here now.
Did they take the wifi router?
Yes.
There's no wifi anymore?
I'm going to lose my shit in a minute.
Everything is gone.
Everything.
That's absolutely fucked up shit.
Cordon just dragged
the wifi thing out of the wall, Max.
Everything is gone.
Protect children against poverty
THE LEFT.
Did you bring my bag?
What kind of bag? There was nothing inside.
-The Dynamo bag.
There was no bag.
-Sure there was.
No.
-By the window.
You're an idiot.
-We can't get back inside again.
All the windows are broken.
You can't close them anymore.
Apparently they broke in
through the back and the front.
Yeah.
They even just left the ladder where it was,
for when they come back.
Can you burn it?
We did that once.
The cops really stopped in Klotzsche
where I burnt my old pocket pussy.
I'd like to blow it up
with a firecracker.
Get the fuck out of here!
I'm throwing up.
Max, can you come here, please?
Please take a picture.
-I'm puking.
Yeah,
you have to stand straight.
Landlord, see you.
Good night.
I'm so full of shit.
Create - not adminstrate - the future.
FREE DEMOCRATIC PARTY
Give me that.
Lol, lol, lol...
Man, what's wrong with you?
You pathetic piece of shit.
May I invade you?
-No, you may not.
This thing is entirely blunt,
as far as I know.
This one?
-Yes, well...
He tried to,
I mean the machete man,
he tried to sharpen it,
the curvature, with a plate.
Oh man, there's still dust on it.
-No, that's cream cheese.
Curtis, don't you want a beer?
That's not Curtis,
it's the machete man.
It's the machete man...
-That's why the machete is here.
Where did he...?
-He kicked in the door at The Landlord's.
He destroyed everything,
didn't he?
He flipped,
because he was... Dunno.
But the thing with his wifi and his computer,
that was a bit too much.
The thing is,
had I not taken the computer,
you would have seen it
cut into pieces.
Oh, so it wasn't sold,
but minced.
Man, he jumped
through this door...
I wanted to keep him away,
because he was on... I don't know.
He destroyed it?
-He chopped the whole place up.
We took all the stuff and...
Who's the machete man?
You don't even wanna know.
-Is it this big one?
It's an entirely insane guy.
-The big guy from the main train station?
Yes, oi.
-A big one and like this here?
I know him.
-You don't know him.
He looks like
he could be your big brother.
You don't know him.
-You really don't.
Man, the windows were
open again at the Landlord's.
You know why?
-They're broken, no? He can't close them.
I've got no clue...
no clue, no clue...
You wanna know
why they were broken?
So the Landlord
can't lock the place anymore.
So you can always enter
with the ladder.
No, because like I said,
I gave him money and stuff
and one night
I was really ill,
completely ill,
like with fever
and I'm standing outside
at two or three in the morning
and then he tells me, him and Danilo
were told not to open the door.
Yes, we were supposed
not to open the door.
The Landlord always said that.
That fat lazy beanbag
is sitting there in the corner,
I'm like, bam,
kicking in the fucking door, man.
He asks me:
Where are the keys?
Me: Pow, punch him in the face.
I told him: You give me the keys now.
Because the keys
stay here now. Period.
And if you go get some food
or whatever, you get back in
because the other one
is still there.
Then he told me I'm a faggot.
-The Landlord?
So I said, hey, bro,
your ex-girl was here,
Please sort it out with her.
He looks at me,
completely on whatever substances,
"I'm not scared of you,
or what."
Yelling at me,
saying "You faggot..."
I open the door, look at the girls,
at the guy and tell him,
this happens
when you call someone a faggot.
I was totally wasted anyway,
turn around and just, wham-bam,
right out the flow of my movement,
like a boxer.
You know. Bam.
It just clapped like this,
but it was my fist making that noise
when I hit his face.
He just flew across the apartment.
Boy!
I just told him again
and again that I'll kill him.
I told him again and again:
I'll kill you, I'll kill you.
I'll kill you. I don't care.
-That's where his nightmares come from.
We have to talk
about that, too.
Listen, I had a metal rod
in my hands.
I swung, twice...
I thought if I start hitting him now,
I might never stop again.
I had really sick thoughts
in that moment,
because I was completely ill...
I MISS MY MOM.
Hi everybody
and welcome to my new video.
You guys have requested knives
and I chose this one.
I purchased it myself
and of course
it wasn't provided in this case.
And this is how it looks,
first impression: gold.
It's both matt and shiny
here on the blade and the knife handle.
And the blade's end
is pointed,
in order to penetrate
matter more easily.
And it looks quite fancy,
doesn't it.
Let's have a look
at the centering of the blade.
Considerable, let's say
60 to the right and 40 to the left side.
So, if you collect these knives
and just want to put it in your cabinet,
this one will serve you well.
But if you really want
to cut or saw things with it,
you'd certainly have to
get a new knife once a month.
I think you know
not to expect
very high quality
for this price,
but you definitely get a cool item,
that really looks amazing.
Have fun with it for those who are
going to purchase it
and to everybody else,
see you soon!
Yours, Max Herzberg.
In your position
I actually think it's quite risky.
I mean anybody here
could take a picture of you and upload it.
And if your boss sees that,
you're fucked.
Yeah, but my boss won't ever see it
because he's 59 years old.
He won't ever see it?
I'm on a good path
to being so successful,
that I can be free
of having to work one day.
Do you really think that?
I thought the other way around.
I thought you'll work so hard,
you won't have to be
a YouTube creator anymore one day.
Herzberg. Can we take a picture?
-My name is: Hail my leader!
Of course you can.
-We only come as a pair.
Work has a way bigger future
than YouTube, doesn't it?
YouTube is always
depending on trends
and once the hype is gone
you're nothing anymore.
It's too risky.
-I'm not following trends.
I never followed any kind of trend.
-No, I know, but...
...indirectly you're like
a trend as well.
Yes, but my consistency
will never change.
And whatever I do
doesn't change my consistency.
Yes, let's hope so.
-Yes.
I just think,
let's say your fans grow older
and the new fans don't think
it's that cool anymore,
the youngsters,
I mean...
Well...
Are we just going to stay
here the whole time?
That's a comrade of the same party.
He knows.
-Yes.
"Der Dritte Weg". (Far-right party)
-We celebrated Sofia's birthday together.
Who was that again?
-Sofia, with Elias and everybody.
Where you were, the other day.
Is Elias also with "Der Dritte Weg"?
I don't know Elias yet.
Elias is black.
He's working in Dingolfing.
In the BMW factory.
Yes, I got that he's from Munich.
Or he works there, I mean.
And he's quite a good pal of ours,
and me and Elias, and everyone,
always when we're out partying...
best party!
You know,
I'd much rather have an Elias
than for example this porn actress
from the NPD (Far-Right Party).
The one who did
gang-bang with all of them.
No, I also used to go
to those rallies
and secret meetings
by the NPD with this...
what's his name again?
Hey, where's everybody?
I have no idea.
So we're standing here
with just anybody?
No, Max is there and Seibt is here.
-Oh, ok.
Say mulm.
-Max, go away now, goddamn.
Did she say go away from her?
Why?
-You're a bad influence.
You drink too much.
Alright, go then.
Hey, is this a provocation or do you want
something from her or...
This woman's drunk.
Yes, but Max, control yourself,
keep your hands to yourself.
You've got a girlfriend.
-I'm not doing anything, am I?
Sure, Max. It's alright.
Just relax now, will you?
The night's still young.
Yeah, she should fuck off, man.
-Yeah, just wait.
Why are you looking at me like this?
You're scaring me.
Hot.
You're really scaring me.
-Oi.
Shut the fuck up.
-No.
I don't even want to eat.
-Sure, sure.
I'm just eating out of boredom.
-Sure.
You can also order something
out of boredom.
We wanted to go to the driving range
together some time to practice.
By all means.
Are we still going to do that?
-In the near future.
Stop saying "in the near future" all the time.
-Well, treat me. Then I'm in.
Just tell me which day.
Why should I treat you, you wanted to...
You want something, not me.
I haven't asked for this.
No, I don't want to destroy my car
driving it for the first time.
You know, then the clutch or the gear
won't work properly. It shouldn't be like that.
Oh, so you'd rather do it
with Seibt again instead of me?
It's not about the person...
It's about you're spending less time
with me than with everybody else.
Yes.
What did the gynecologist
say actually the other day?
With this chlamydia
or whatever you said.
Just asking, you know...
You're such a retard.
Why?
I just want to
keep up the conversation.
Next time we'll dine
in company again.
But we are in company.
We have each other,
don't we?
Yes, and the jews
underneath the floor boards.
Well...
I'm trying to be romantic.
You aren't romantic.
-I need to take a shit.
Will you please order
the bill meanwhile? Love you.
No, you need to go
towards the ferris wheel.
And then first corner right,
so towards your left.
We're right wing, goddamn.
Keep going. We're right wing.
Or right.
-We're right wing.
Well, anyway towards the ferris wheel.
-The center is great as well.
Damnit, keep your fingers away,
goddamn!
Where are your lederhosen?
We're east German low-lifes,
we can't afford...
Why? You get them at Kik's.
We're collecting deposit bottles,
we can't afford lederhosen.
Inside the tents
it's the absolute best.
You'll never experience
anything like it.
It's beautiful inside.
-Yes.
And we can't go in
because we've lost everyone.
Hey, Doris.
Hey, where are you coming from now?
Man, what did you do
with him?
You have some change?
We're gambling-addicts
and collect deposit bottles.
Adlersson!
-Yeah, there he is. Here.
That's Herzberg.
Excuse me, are you Adlersson?
-Yes.
Wow! Fucking hell!
Can we take a picture?
-'Course!
You really rock, man.
-Thanks, likewise.
See you! Have fun, guys!
-Likewise! Don't drink too much.
Are you still addicted to gambling?
-Seventh day without gambling now.
I have no money at all.
I'm working part-time,
I'm five years younger than you.
Inkognito is
way too hetero for me!
And if you're too greedy
to give me two Euros,
but you're throwing 20 Euros
in the slot machine,
please, it's your business,
I don't care.
Yeah...
-Gay as a window!
That's got nothing to do with it.
-No, I don't give a shit, fuck it.
Inkognito fucks children.
-True that.
And animals.
-And he tortures animals.
I really need small change.
-They never heard your name, man.
What a bummer.
-Is that inkognito?
Yeah, give me a little change,
will you?
Where is Hector Panzer?
-Hector Panzer is here somewhere.
Get the fuck out of the Oktoberfest!
But now I've found you.
Yuck!
Yuck, you taste salty.
Someone needs cocaine?
Yes, me!
And Hector Panzer!
Dude!
You lousy pig!
Give me anything, I'll chug it.
A glass of water,
a glass of water...
Fuck off!
Man, fuck off!
Don't you touch her!
Fuck off!
Shut the fuck up!
Just stop it!
Help, he's molesting me!
Heil Hitler!
Hey, he's molesting me!
He's molesting me!
Assholes!
Fuck! He's gone!
Where's David?
David! David!
Fuck!
Come with me now,
they've been attacking me all along.
And you give them a hug.
-Who?
Well, these Chinese here!
They're attacking me!
Hey, what are you doing?!
No! Cut the crap now.
Did you look into your own face, goddamn?
-I hit them, too. I hit him, too.
You didn't do shit!
You were laying on the ground crying.
They attacked me
with three guys, man. I hit...
Don't you ever fucking
scare me like this again!
Now you're in trouble!
First thing you do, I hit...
-Shut the fuck up, man!
Finished, finished, my friend!
Tell your friends we're finished!
Hello, finished, finished.
-Yeah, so fuck off, then!
The freedom of women
is not negotiable!
ALTERNATIVE FOR GERMANY
(Right-wing party)
I really have to say,
this was an amazing day today!
Boy, I...
I should have joined you, after all.
It would have been
a really kick-ass brawl, man.
No, that would have
escalated so badly,
it was bad enough anyway.
But, man, you should have seen it,
Freddy.
It just sucks in Dresden.
Everyone knows me here,
I can't just rumble around.
Man, I would have smashed them.
Dude. I, I...
Man, we would have seen blood!
The blood, I need it again!
I hit this guy so precisely,
it's simply...
Even more beautiful isn't possible.
You couldn't have done it any better.
Bam, and his face was puree!
East, East, East Germany!
East, East, East Germany!
You're so insane!
The Landlord is racist!
The Landlord is racist!
Yeah, oi.
How's this happening, how did you do it?
-I'm wondering myself.
How did you do this?
-I've got no clue.
More than 4000 people,
do you think they'll let everybody in?
I hope not!
My anus is frayed.
Here we go, celebrate,
drink, man, let's go!
Goldkrone!
What happened here is so sick!
-Dude.
How are you, Seibt?
-I just wanna sleep.
What?
-I wanna sleep.
Whoever pulls his weener out
gets a free drink!
All night long
until the end!
Oi. Egg them on, dickhead.
Weeners out!
Weener out and
you'll get free drinks on my ass!
I'm really wasted, bro.
I've been on my feet
for so many hours, man.
If you have to puke,
you tell me, alright?
Do you need some water?
-What?
Pull your weener out!
Do you want some water?
-Yes, please.
You're supposed to pull your weener out!
I want to see weeners!
Hey, can someone get me
a water or something?
Here, take a sip.
Let me sit next to him.
I can't...
I love you, Elias.
I love you!
David and his Girlfriend A. broke up again.
She is now a military soldier in the army.
Freddy finally got
his driving license.
Elias gave up his job for his
career as an influencer.
Sascha, The Landlord, has
broken off contact to the group.
YouTube has removed
"AdlerssonPictures".
But through his other channels, Max has even
more subscribers today than ever before.