Lost and Found (2011) Movie Script
You going somewhere?
Yeah, I gotta get up early in the morning.
You don't wanna stay the night?
John, can you help me zip this up?
My name is David.
It's nothing....personal. You're a decent guy.
I'll let myself out.
Hey, what up dude?
What happened to that hottie you brought here last night?
The usual.
Yeah, she left.
Nailed and bailed, huh?
Yeah.
God, you're such a pig!
Whatever. You just don't get it.
I'm just happy for the guy.
Yeah right. Good one.
She didn't even know my name.
Remember when I used to wake up next to chicks and not know their name?
Sometimes you forget my name.
Of course you didn't stay the night.
Yeah.
Exactly.
So what are you bitching about?
Cause I'm sick of these one night stands!
How often is this going to happen?
This eternal spiral I keep going down.
I wanna girl I can actually hang out with.
A girl I can play video games with.
You don't even play video games.
Yeah Vickie. That's besides the point.
I guess...
I guess it's not really Maggie, but...
I guess, I'm not really out there looking for "the one".
Uhh, uhh, I guess I'm looking, but...
I'm not...not really expecting to find her.
Well, maybe if you stopped looking in dive bars!
Well, it's the only place I'm comfortable talking to girls.
You get a few drinks in me and I,....
..loosen up. I'm never going to see them again, so I'm not gonna mess it up.
You know it....?
When it comes to a girl you really wanna...
...spend time with its like...
...something different.
You know what it is? I freeze up. I get nervous.
I start sweating. I'm afraid I'm gonna do the wrong thing; say the wrong thing.
...make the whole thing awkward. Just ruin the moment.
Epic fail, bro! Epic fail.
You just gotta get out of that comfort zone your in, man.
Get out of my comfort zone?
Yeah.
This coming from a guy who hasn't put on a pair of pants in 2 months.
Shut up! You don't even know how hard it is to live this lifestyle.
Oh my god, I'm sure it's so difficult.
I'm sure it'd be a lot more difficult if you didn't have a bunch of rich dead relatives.
Hey!
Just because he's willfully unemployed...
...does not mean he doesn't work hard.
He's dating me.
Damn straight!
We're gonna find you a girl, David.
Don't strain yourself.
Hey.
Hey.
What about the neighbor?
You know the one with the cute dog. The one that David has a crush on?
I'm right here.
Oh, wait, not the dog...the girl.
Thanks for pointing that out.
I got that.
Never mind. Hey David...
Hmmm?
Will you get..uh...will you go get the newspaper?
Will you go get the newspaper?
Cause, I don't want to miss this level.
It's level 30, and we're gonna get wings. Will you go get it?
Oh! Fine.
Anything else?
The paper.
Boz. Boz, where are you?
Hi!
Hi.
Boz. Walking your dog, huh?
More like he's walking me.
Hi. I'm Jen.
I'm John...
...Uh, I'm David. My name's David.
Great.
Guess I'll see you around then, David.
Yeah! See you. See you around.
I'm John!?!
What the hell is wrong with me?
Hey Meg. I was just thinking about calling you.
Oh my god! Me too!
And then I did, because I know exactly what you need right now.
Retail therapy!
I'm not going shopping.
Why not? I thought you said you moved to LA to stop moping around and get on with your life.
That and to be close to me and my AWESOMENESS!
And the whole moving on thing too.
Whatever. So you ready? You wanna go?
I have too much unpacking to do.
Then don't. Fill your closets with new stuff.
Come on. It will be good for you to get out and meet other people.
I just talked to someone.
A neighbor. We had a perfectly normal conversation.
Perfectly normal. So there's nothing to worry about.
OK. Seriously, Jen, you need new clothes.
I didn't want to be mean about it.
But your stuff is from like, eons ago.
It's kind of getting embarrassing.
Have you seriously not been shopping since you've been single?
Fine. I'll go.
Great. OK if Audrey comes too?
Sure. Awesome. See you in a bit.
[Doorbell. Knocking]
Hey girl. You ready to go yet?
We just got off the phone?
I'll go get my shoes.
She must think the world waits for her.
Some people can be so inconsiderate.
Hey doggie.
Ready to go?
Jen. This is way to close to pastels...
These were on their way out 5 minutes ago.
No one wears this blend of cotton and rayon anymore.
They just don't.
Come on let's go.
Do you see me in your cross hairs?
Not right now.
What are you doing out here little buddy?
Look at you.
Let's go inside.
Stop!
Check it out!
Look what I found in the backyard.
Oh, it's a puppy! Let me see 'im!
Hi!
What an angel!
Seriously?
Get back over here. We're almost at the next save point.
I love you!
What's his name?
His name is Boz.
Hi Boz.
Hey this is that girl's dog, huh?
Mmm hmm.
Come on. Come on. Get back in the game.
...Not going to wait all day.
Oh, I love you. Isn't he cute? Isn't he sweet?
Ah, come on.
What, you...?
Isn't he sweet?
You really think this thing is cute?
My ovaries are just throbbing. I love him so much.
OK. It's time to go buddy.
Hey. Wait a minute man.
You know what you can do?
What's that?
You want to get to know that girl right?
Yeah.
Well.
Instead of bringing this guy back right away...
How 'bout you keep him, and offer to help her find him?
Wow, that is terrible!
That way when you give him back in a few days...you're a hero!
That is terrible!
That's one of the worst ideas I've ever heard!
I don't know about that.
Remember peanut butter chili fries?
No, dude, no.
Come here. Bye baby.
See you later.
Get away from these crazies, huh?
Huh. Peanut butter chili fries were pretty bad.
Looks like you're going to be staying with me tonight.
At least for a little while.
Don't look all excited or anything.
Let's go.
She wasn't home.
I'm not doing it.
Boz!
Bozzie! Mama's home.
Boz.
Bozzie. C'mere.
Bozzie.
Boz, where are you?
Boz!
Bozzie!
Where are you? Boz! This isn't funny!
Bozley, where are you?
Boz!
Bozley, come on!
Boz!
[Phone rings]
Boz!
Hello.
Hey, Jennie, I almost forgot to tell you.
Boz is gone!
I looked all over the house!
...in the backyard...everywhere! I can't find him!
Well honey, do you want us to circle back?
No. It's OK. I'll go ask neighbors, I guess.
Well if you don't find him, I'll help you post fliers.
I'll even design them for you.
I have some awesome ideas.
Um...OK.
OK. Well I know you'll love them.
Dude c'mon. What are you doing?
[Doorbell]
What?
Jen! Remember.
The plan dude.
Steve! Steve!
Damn it.
OK. OK. Here goes.
OK. You got this. You got this.
What's up Jen?
My Bozley, he's gone!
I've been running around asking all the neighbors. Nobody's seen him.
OK. Well just calm down. Everything's going to be OK.
No! It's not OK!
He's not just my baby!
He's a valuable dog.
Somebody might have kidnapped him.
He's not a puppy anymore.
He's only 4. But in dog-years, it's like late 20's.
Oh my gosh! I don't know what I'm gonna do!
Jennifer. What?!
What?!
What?! What is it?
If you want I can help you out.
Find him. The Bozley. The dog.
You know, put out fliers.
Ask around the neighborhood.
Do you want me to help you find him?
What do you think?
Cubism crossed with abstract expressionism.
Just a hint of ransom note.
It's a poster for Jen's missing dog.
Oh! Contextual narrative!
So it's commentary on the desperate plight of the lost dogs in all of us?
How'd you think of that?
Jen's dog is really missing.
Oh! A real time inspiration.
No. I mean, she asked me to make these posters to put around town.
What? What is so funny?
Well, for starters, the info is barely legible.
That drawing looks nothing like Jen's dog.
I wanted to catch people's attention.
People will see it and try to read it.
Some of them will've seen Jen's dog and one of them will call her.
Jen's going to love...
Uhh. Shut up! What do you know?
You're an elitist art snob who can't appreciate art unless you put it into one of your -isms.
This is the post I write...
So this is the post I write...blah...blah...
Oh, real mature Meg!
Oh, real mature, Meg!
You see, when you resort to this, I win.
I win!
OK you win. I win.
Oh, just like that.
Sensitive. Yes always.
I don't want you to tease me too much.
Oh my gosh, it feels so good!
Don't stop. Don't stop. Don't stop!
I win! You win.
So, is Bozley really...important to you?
Yeah. He's everything.
He's the only one that's ever been loyal.
He's never lied to me...cheated on me.
God I'm so neurotic!
It's just that after the divorce...it was tough.
I moved out here to get away from everybody.
Everyone except for Meg. You can't ever get away from Meg.
Oh...you mean...have you been like...
...dating anybody? No!
And don't ask me why not.
If one more person asks me I swear I'm going to scream. Understood.
Buy why not? I feel like used merchandise.
Used merchandise? You're not used merchandise!
At most...you're experienced.
OK. That might not have sounded right, but you know what I mean.
My friend Meg says I have guilt issues.
That until I learn to forgive others, I won't ever forgive myself.
But she says a lot of things. She's crazy.
Anyway. Enough about me, what's your story?
My story?
Well, I can some that up in about 12 words.
I was born..
I work in a cubicle.
And one day I'll die.
Minus the "and", that will make it 13.
True romantic.
But seriously though...no family?
No kids? No dreams?
Yeah dreams, but the whole family thing, it just...
It starts out like, you meet a nice girl...
...I mean the right girl, whatever.
I'm just never good at that.
Talking to girls, meeting girls...
...I really just...haven't met the right girl yet.
That's sweet.
Assuming, it's not just a come on.
It's not just a come on.
But, I really do envy you.
I had a dream once.
For 2 years I felt like I was failing...
...trying to grab onto something solid.
Boz is what kept me together.
It's getting a little late. The sun is starting to go down.
Think maybe we should call it a night?
You think? He's not supposed to be by himself after dark.
I'm sure he's fine. It's not like...
I'm sure somebody's found him by now.
Probably wandered into somebody's back yard...
...nestled up in a blanket somewhere.
He probably just had a full belly of food and he's ready to sleep.
No, here look.
Let's just make some fliers tomorrow.
Let's meet up have a coffee or something and then start putting them up around the neighborhood.
I like that.
Yeah? Alright.
Well, um...
Thanks. Yeah.
See you tomorrow.
Jen! I hope Boz is still lost because I made the posters!
How did you get in here?
Did I leave the door unlocked?
I drew Boz as a character to exaggerate his features to make him a little bit cuter.
You know people are more likely to return cute dogs than ugly dogs.
Like wow! What happened to that dog? Would I really want to return him to his owner?
What are you talking about?
You can't even read it.
I made my own posters.
David, my neighbor, is going to help me post them.
I told you I was making them.
Right, um, well I knew yours would be better.
So I figured that you could post them downtown.
Where more people could see 'em.
And then I'll just post the boring ugly ones around the neighborhood.
For brilliance! We'll find Boz in no time!
Did I just kill you?
You did not.
But nice...nice try.
I'm gonna kill you right now though.
In your face! That's how I do it.
Whatever. Something's wrong with this level. It's lagging or something.
Oh, OK. It's lagging. That's why I just blasted your face!
Are you gonna cry about it Halo champion?
Oh, you gonna give me some tears? Some third place tears?
You know it was second place. Don't give me that crap.
Oh a technicality.
That's not...No don't!
Don't poke me I hate it!
That's her at the door! Hide the dog! Hide the dog!
Hey. You gonna pass out some fliers?
Yep. Can I use your bathroom for a second?
Yeah.
Straight back here.
It's Steve. Good to meet you.
I know right?
It's just straight back.
Dude! I hid Bozley right next to the bathroom!
What?! Why would you do that?
Hey. Hey. Got any TP?
Yeah. Yeah. We have toilet paper.
It should be...under the sink.
Got ya. Thanks.
Do you have a dog? No. Why?
Oh. Nothing. The bathroom just smelled a little funny.
Oh...yeah....that's...
...that's residual body odor.
That is...my roommate has this condition.
...If he sweats it smells like wet dog.
It's gross.
It's true. It's true.
She said so too.
You ready to go?
Yeah. You got your flier? Yeah.
See you later. Later.
Now where were we?
I think we were at level 3, 3rd base.
Baseline.
They just talk too much.
Think so?
They need to learn to shut up.
Just shut the fuck up.
You being proactive?
What will it take to get you off this couch?
I dunno.
In that case, I'm stroking your cock.
Oh I got you off the couch.
I'm really tight.
Let's take these off too.
Yes, kiss me. Worship me.
Your dirty fingers. Take them out and feed them to me.
Give me your mouth. Give me your mouth.
come here.
Yummy.
Yeah, look at me with those pretty eyes while you suck it.
You're so romantic.
You're so romantic while I suck your cock.
Are you trying to put it deep in my mouth?
Yeah, put it way down there.
That's so fucking good baby!
I wanna fuckkkk.
Let's fuck. Let's fuck.
I love that fucking hair!
You wanna see that booty?
Fuck yeah. Come here.
Yeah, looks so fucking good!
You feel so fucking tight.
You gonna go deep?
It's swallowing up your dick.
It's so beautiful!
I love making you come.
Oh my god!
Thank you.
I wanna tell you about the dog.
I can't let this go any longer.
What?! You can't quit now.
This is wrong! I like her so much and I'm lying to her!
The only thing that got me talking to her in the first place.
I really like this chick.
Good for you Dave.
Just give me the dog. Come on Boz, it's time to go home.
I can't let you do that Dave.
Come on seriously.
Seriously, what are you gonna do? What are you gonna say to her?
Here's your dog I've been hiding from you for a few days while I helped you find it!
How's she gonna take that? Like how do you think that's gonna work?
Good luck with that 'bro.
Damnit you're right.
You know...I knew you were a great guy when I met you.
Yeah. Yeah. How'd you know that?
Because Boz liked you.
Boz only likes good people.
He hated my ex.
Even though he was a Christmas present from the bastard.
You know I'm not that good of a guy.
You're right.
You're a great guy.
I have to tell you something.
What's that?
What's that?!
Oh!
Bozley! What is this?!
Uh, hey Jen!
We forgot to tell you that an hour ago, a couple of blocks away, we found...
...Boz wondering around.
...we thought...
Steve, it's over. Forget about it.
You. You were the one who took my dog?
It wasn't like that.
He wandered into our yard, and...
...You let me believe he was missing while you...!
...helped me look? It's not like that.
What kind of person does that?!
A bad one. I don't know.
What's wrong with you?!
Oh!!!
All of you! You're all deranged!
Don't ever contact me again!
Game over dude.
Of course you should be angry, Jen!
Furious!
I know, but the anger always turns into guilt.
Guilt?!
Roger, we can't expect you to understand.
Maybe Jen feels guilty for yelling at David.
I mean you have to admit what he did was pretty cute.
If you think so...
Look.
He turned out to be a great guy, right? And no harm came to Boz.
And you said it yourself. Boz liked him right?
You realize how crazy that sounds right?
You're saying that she should go by what the dog thinks?
And this guy lied to you from the very moment you met him. What kind of relationship you supposed to build out of that?
David? David?
David! You need to go outside.
You need to get out of the house.
Because your self pity...is stinking up the place.
I can't. I'm helping Steve.
Damn straight!
No. You need to go out tonight.
Because I need to air out this house.
Because it reeks of depression!
Get up! Get out of the house!
Sissy's in here.
Oh! That's right.
Do you come here often?
What?
I said, do you come here often? I've never seen you before.
What? I haven't seen you here.
Do you come here often?
You're not gonna remember my name are you?
My name's David.
Taylor?
DAVID!
Taylor.
Yeah. My name's Taylor.
What are you drinking?
Hey Jen.
Wait. Wait. Wait.
OK. Just give me 2 minutes. OK.
And you'll never have to deal with us again.
What do you want?
I think you have the wrong idea about what happened.
I think I understand perfectly well what's going on.
I don't think you do.
Dave has had a crush on you since you moved into the neighborhood. OK?
And he is so shy, I had to trick him into talking to you last Saturday.
OK. What I'm trying to say is that this was all Steve's idea.
OK. Dave found Boz in the backyard.
I don't know how he got there.
But he returned him to your house, but you weren't there.
So he brought him back to our house.
And Steve came up with this idea. Dave thought it was stupid...
It is really stupid because Steve is really stupid.
And...he just got mixed up in it.
I don't care who's idea it was. He still lied to me.
I know but he tried to tell you.
But he didn't!
OK. He's a moron. He is. OK?
But he's not as big a moron as you think he is.
OK. It really hurt him to lie to you.
So what? He sent you over here to beg for my forgiveness?
No. He doesn't even know I'm here.
But would you forgive him if he did?
Would you forgive him?
Jen. Your 2 minutes are up. No Jen.
We totally played D & D together sometime.
Boz, c'mere.
You wanna play fetch? Let's go.
Say, you OK?
What's this?
Hi. Hi.
I miss you too. But don't think all is forgiven.
I wouldn't...
Cause what you did is pretty terrible.
Yeah. Look, I don't even know where to start.
...with the apology.
You already have. I'm the one who's been holding back.
So...I'm sorry.
But I still resent you for having to forgive you.
Well I'm sorry.
Should I thank you?
Yeah. Somewhere in there.
Yeah, I gotta get up early in the morning.
You don't wanna stay the night?
John, can you help me zip this up?
My name is David.
It's nothing....personal. You're a decent guy.
I'll let myself out.
Hey, what up dude?
What happened to that hottie you brought here last night?
The usual.
Yeah, she left.
Nailed and bailed, huh?
Yeah.
God, you're such a pig!
Whatever. You just don't get it.
I'm just happy for the guy.
Yeah right. Good one.
She didn't even know my name.
Remember when I used to wake up next to chicks and not know their name?
Sometimes you forget my name.
Of course you didn't stay the night.
Yeah.
Exactly.
So what are you bitching about?
Cause I'm sick of these one night stands!
How often is this going to happen?
This eternal spiral I keep going down.
I wanna girl I can actually hang out with.
A girl I can play video games with.
You don't even play video games.
Yeah Vickie. That's besides the point.
I guess...
I guess it's not really Maggie, but...
I guess, I'm not really out there looking for "the one".
Uhh, uhh, I guess I'm looking, but...
I'm not...not really expecting to find her.
Well, maybe if you stopped looking in dive bars!
Well, it's the only place I'm comfortable talking to girls.
You get a few drinks in me and I,....
..loosen up. I'm never going to see them again, so I'm not gonna mess it up.
You know it....?
When it comes to a girl you really wanna...
...spend time with its like...
...something different.
You know what it is? I freeze up. I get nervous.
I start sweating. I'm afraid I'm gonna do the wrong thing; say the wrong thing.
...make the whole thing awkward. Just ruin the moment.
Epic fail, bro! Epic fail.
You just gotta get out of that comfort zone your in, man.
Get out of my comfort zone?
Yeah.
This coming from a guy who hasn't put on a pair of pants in 2 months.
Shut up! You don't even know how hard it is to live this lifestyle.
Oh my god, I'm sure it's so difficult.
I'm sure it'd be a lot more difficult if you didn't have a bunch of rich dead relatives.
Hey!
Just because he's willfully unemployed...
...does not mean he doesn't work hard.
He's dating me.
Damn straight!
We're gonna find you a girl, David.
Don't strain yourself.
Hey.
Hey.
What about the neighbor?
You know the one with the cute dog. The one that David has a crush on?
I'm right here.
Oh, wait, not the dog...the girl.
Thanks for pointing that out.
I got that.
Never mind. Hey David...
Hmmm?
Will you get..uh...will you go get the newspaper?
Will you go get the newspaper?
Cause, I don't want to miss this level.
It's level 30, and we're gonna get wings. Will you go get it?
Oh! Fine.
Anything else?
The paper.
Boz. Boz, where are you?
Hi!
Hi.
Boz. Walking your dog, huh?
More like he's walking me.
Hi. I'm Jen.
I'm John...
...Uh, I'm David. My name's David.
Great.
Guess I'll see you around then, David.
Yeah! See you. See you around.
I'm John!?!
What the hell is wrong with me?
Hey Meg. I was just thinking about calling you.
Oh my god! Me too!
And then I did, because I know exactly what you need right now.
Retail therapy!
I'm not going shopping.
Why not? I thought you said you moved to LA to stop moping around and get on with your life.
That and to be close to me and my AWESOMENESS!
And the whole moving on thing too.
Whatever. So you ready? You wanna go?
I have too much unpacking to do.
Then don't. Fill your closets with new stuff.
Come on. It will be good for you to get out and meet other people.
I just talked to someone.
A neighbor. We had a perfectly normal conversation.
Perfectly normal. So there's nothing to worry about.
OK. Seriously, Jen, you need new clothes.
I didn't want to be mean about it.
But your stuff is from like, eons ago.
It's kind of getting embarrassing.
Have you seriously not been shopping since you've been single?
Fine. I'll go.
Great. OK if Audrey comes too?
Sure. Awesome. See you in a bit.
[Doorbell. Knocking]
Hey girl. You ready to go yet?
We just got off the phone?
I'll go get my shoes.
She must think the world waits for her.
Some people can be so inconsiderate.
Hey doggie.
Ready to go?
Jen. This is way to close to pastels...
These were on their way out 5 minutes ago.
No one wears this blend of cotton and rayon anymore.
They just don't.
Come on let's go.
Do you see me in your cross hairs?
Not right now.
What are you doing out here little buddy?
Look at you.
Let's go inside.
Stop!
Check it out!
Look what I found in the backyard.
Oh, it's a puppy! Let me see 'im!
Hi!
What an angel!
Seriously?
Get back over here. We're almost at the next save point.
I love you!
What's his name?
His name is Boz.
Hi Boz.
Hey this is that girl's dog, huh?
Mmm hmm.
Come on. Come on. Get back in the game.
...Not going to wait all day.
Oh, I love you. Isn't he cute? Isn't he sweet?
Ah, come on.
What, you...?
Isn't he sweet?
You really think this thing is cute?
My ovaries are just throbbing. I love him so much.
OK. It's time to go buddy.
Hey. Wait a minute man.
You know what you can do?
What's that?
You want to get to know that girl right?
Yeah.
Well.
Instead of bringing this guy back right away...
How 'bout you keep him, and offer to help her find him?
Wow, that is terrible!
That way when you give him back in a few days...you're a hero!
That is terrible!
That's one of the worst ideas I've ever heard!
I don't know about that.
Remember peanut butter chili fries?
No, dude, no.
Come here. Bye baby.
See you later.
Get away from these crazies, huh?
Huh. Peanut butter chili fries were pretty bad.
Looks like you're going to be staying with me tonight.
At least for a little while.
Don't look all excited or anything.
Let's go.
She wasn't home.
I'm not doing it.
Boz!
Bozzie! Mama's home.
Boz.
Bozzie. C'mere.
Bozzie.
Boz, where are you?
Boz!
Bozzie!
Where are you? Boz! This isn't funny!
Bozley, where are you?
Boz!
Bozley, come on!
Boz!
[Phone rings]
Boz!
Hello.
Hey, Jennie, I almost forgot to tell you.
Boz is gone!
I looked all over the house!
...in the backyard...everywhere! I can't find him!
Well honey, do you want us to circle back?
No. It's OK. I'll go ask neighbors, I guess.
Well if you don't find him, I'll help you post fliers.
I'll even design them for you.
I have some awesome ideas.
Um...OK.
OK. Well I know you'll love them.
Dude c'mon. What are you doing?
[Doorbell]
What?
Jen! Remember.
The plan dude.
Steve! Steve!
Damn it.
OK. OK. Here goes.
OK. You got this. You got this.
What's up Jen?
My Bozley, he's gone!
I've been running around asking all the neighbors. Nobody's seen him.
OK. Well just calm down. Everything's going to be OK.
No! It's not OK!
He's not just my baby!
He's a valuable dog.
Somebody might have kidnapped him.
He's not a puppy anymore.
He's only 4. But in dog-years, it's like late 20's.
Oh my gosh! I don't know what I'm gonna do!
Jennifer. What?!
What?!
What?! What is it?
If you want I can help you out.
Find him. The Bozley. The dog.
You know, put out fliers.
Ask around the neighborhood.
Do you want me to help you find him?
What do you think?
Cubism crossed with abstract expressionism.
Just a hint of ransom note.
It's a poster for Jen's missing dog.
Oh! Contextual narrative!
So it's commentary on the desperate plight of the lost dogs in all of us?
How'd you think of that?
Jen's dog is really missing.
Oh! A real time inspiration.
No. I mean, she asked me to make these posters to put around town.
What? What is so funny?
Well, for starters, the info is barely legible.
That drawing looks nothing like Jen's dog.
I wanted to catch people's attention.
People will see it and try to read it.
Some of them will've seen Jen's dog and one of them will call her.
Jen's going to love...
Uhh. Shut up! What do you know?
You're an elitist art snob who can't appreciate art unless you put it into one of your -isms.
This is the post I write...
So this is the post I write...blah...blah...
Oh, real mature Meg!
Oh, real mature, Meg!
You see, when you resort to this, I win.
I win!
OK you win. I win.
Oh, just like that.
Sensitive. Yes always.
I don't want you to tease me too much.
Oh my gosh, it feels so good!
Don't stop. Don't stop. Don't stop!
I win! You win.
So, is Bozley really...important to you?
Yeah. He's everything.
He's the only one that's ever been loyal.
He's never lied to me...cheated on me.
God I'm so neurotic!
It's just that after the divorce...it was tough.
I moved out here to get away from everybody.
Everyone except for Meg. You can't ever get away from Meg.
Oh...you mean...have you been like...
...dating anybody? No!
And don't ask me why not.
If one more person asks me I swear I'm going to scream. Understood.
Buy why not? I feel like used merchandise.
Used merchandise? You're not used merchandise!
At most...you're experienced.
OK. That might not have sounded right, but you know what I mean.
My friend Meg says I have guilt issues.
That until I learn to forgive others, I won't ever forgive myself.
But she says a lot of things. She's crazy.
Anyway. Enough about me, what's your story?
My story?
Well, I can some that up in about 12 words.
I was born..
I work in a cubicle.
And one day I'll die.
Minus the "and", that will make it 13.
True romantic.
But seriously though...no family?
No kids? No dreams?
Yeah dreams, but the whole family thing, it just...
It starts out like, you meet a nice girl...
...I mean the right girl, whatever.
I'm just never good at that.
Talking to girls, meeting girls...
...I really just...haven't met the right girl yet.
That's sweet.
Assuming, it's not just a come on.
It's not just a come on.
But, I really do envy you.
I had a dream once.
For 2 years I felt like I was failing...
...trying to grab onto something solid.
Boz is what kept me together.
It's getting a little late. The sun is starting to go down.
Think maybe we should call it a night?
You think? He's not supposed to be by himself after dark.
I'm sure he's fine. It's not like...
I'm sure somebody's found him by now.
Probably wandered into somebody's back yard...
...nestled up in a blanket somewhere.
He probably just had a full belly of food and he's ready to sleep.
No, here look.
Let's just make some fliers tomorrow.
Let's meet up have a coffee or something and then start putting them up around the neighborhood.
I like that.
Yeah? Alright.
Well, um...
Thanks. Yeah.
See you tomorrow.
Jen! I hope Boz is still lost because I made the posters!
How did you get in here?
Did I leave the door unlocked?
I drew Boz as a character to exaggerate his features to make him a little bit cuter.
You know people are more likely to return cute dogs than ugly dogs.
Like wow! What happened to that dog? Would I really want to return him to his owner?
What are you talking about?
You can't even read it.
I made my own posters.
David, my neighbor, is going to help me post them.
I told you I was making them.
Right, um, well I knew yours would be better.
So I figured that you could post them downtown.
Where more people could see 'em.
And then I'll just post the boring ugly ones around the neighborhood.
For brilliance! We'll find Boz in no time!
Did I just kill you?
You did not.
But nice...nice try.
I'm gonna kill you right now though.
In your face! That's how I do it.
Whatever. Something's wrong with this level. It's lagging or something.
Oh, OK. It's lagging. That's why I just blasted your face!
Are you gonna cry about it Halo champion?
Oh, you gonna give me some tears? Some third place tears?
You know it was second place. Don't give me that crap.
Oh a technicality.
That's not...No don't!
Don't poke me I hate it!
That's her at the door! Hide the dog! Hide the dog!
Hey. You gonna pass out some fliers?
Yep. Can I use your bathroom for a second?
Yeah.
Straight back here.
It's Steve. Good to meet you.
I know right?
It's just straight back.
Dude! I hid Bozley right next to the bathroom!
What?! Why would you do that?
Hey. Hey. Got any TP?
Yeah. Yeah. We have toilet paper.
It should be...under the sink.
Got ya. Thanks.
Do you have a dog? No. Why?
Oh. Nothing. The bathroom just smelled a little funny.
Oh...yeah....that's...
...that's residual body odor.
That is...my roommate has this condition.
...If he sweats it smells like wet dog.
It's gross.
It's true. It's true.
She said so too.
You ready to go?
Yeah. You got your flier? Yeah.
See you later. Later.
Now where were we?
I think we were at level 3, 3rd base.
Baseline.
They just talk too much.
Think so?
They need to learn to shut up.
Just shut the fuck up.
You being proactive?
What will it take to get you off this couch?
I dunno.
In that case, I'm stroking your cock.
Oh I got you off the couch.
I'm really tight.
Let's take these off too.
Yes, kiss me. Worship me.
Your dirty fingers. Take them out and feed them to me.
Give me your mouth. Give me your mouth.
come here.
Yummy.
Yeah, look at me with those pretty eyes while you suck it.
You're so romantic.
You're so romantic while I suck your cock.
Are you trying to put it deep in my mouth?
Yeah, put it way down there.
That's so fucking good baby!
I wanna fuckkkk.
Let's fuck. Let's fuck.
I love that fucking hair!
You wanna see that booty?
Fuck yeah. Come here.
Yeah, looks so fucking good!
You feel so fucking tight.
You gonna go deep?
It's swallowing up your dick.
It's so beautiful!
I love making you come.
Oh my god!
Thank you.
I wanna tell you about the dog.
I can't let this go any longer.
What?! You can't quit now.
This is wrong! I like her so much and I'm lying to her!
The only thing that got me talking to her in the first place.
I really like this chick.
Good for you Dave.
Just give me the dog. Come on Boz, it's time to go home.
I can't let you do that Dave.
Come on seriously.
Seriously, what are you gonna do? What are you gonna say to her?
Here's your dog I've been hiding from you for a few days while I helped you find it!
How's she gonna take that? Like how do you think that's gonna work?
Good luck with that 'bro.
Damnit you're right.
You know...I knew you were a great guy when I met you.
Yeah. Yeah. How'd you know that?
Because Boz liked you.
Boz only likes good people.
He hated my ex.
Even though he was a Christmas present from the bastard.
You know I'm not that good of a guy.
You're right.
You're a great guy.
I have to tell you something.
What's that?
What's that?!
Oh!
Bozley! What is this?!
Uh, hey Jen!
We forgot to tell you that an hour ago, a couple of blocks away, we found...
...Boz wondering around.
...we thought...
Steve, it's over. Forget about it.
You. You were the one who took my dog?
It wasn't like that.
He wandered into our yard, and...
...You let me believe he was missing while you...!
...helped me look? It's not like that.
What kind of person does that?!
A bad one. I don't know.
What's wrong with you?!
Oh!!!
All of you! You're all deranged!
Don't ever contact me again!
Game over dude.
Of course you should be angry, Jen!
Furious!
I know, but the anger always turns into guilt.
Guilt?!
Roger, we can't expect you to understand.
Maybe Jen feels guilty for yelling at David.
I mean you have to admit what he did was pretty cute.
If you think so...
Look.
He turned out to be a great guy, right? And no harm came to Boz.
And you said it yourself. Boz liked him right?
You realize how crazy that sounds right?
You're saying that she should go by what the dog thinks?
And this guy lied to you from the very moment you met him. What kind of relationship you supposed to build out of that?
David? David?
David! You need to go outside.
You need to get out of the house.
Because your self pity...is stinking up the place.
I can't. I'm helping Steve.
Damn straight!
No. You need to go out tonight.
Because I need to air out this house.
Because it reeks of depression!
Get up! Get out of the house!
Sissy's in here.
Oh! That's right.
Do you come here often?
What?
I said, do you come here often? I've never seen you before.
What? I haven't seen you here.
Do you come here often?
You're not gonna remember my name are you?
My name's David.
Taylor?
DAVID!
Taylor.
Yeah. My name's Taylor.
What are you drinking?
Hey Jen.
Wait. Wait. Wait.
OK. Just give me 2 minutes. OK.
And you'll never have to deal with us again.
What do you want?
I think you have the wrong idea about what happened.
I think I understand perfectly well what's going on.
I don't think you do.
Dave has had a crush on you since you moved into the neighborhood. OK?
And he is so shy, I had to trick him into talking to you last Saturday.
OK. What I'm trying to say is that this was all Steve's idea.
OK. Dave found Boz in the backyard.
I don't know how he got there.
But he returned him to your house, but you weren't there.
So he brought him back to our house.
And Steve came up with this idea. Dave thought it was stupid...
It is really stupid because Steve is really stupid.
And...he just got mixed up in it.
I don't care who's idea it was. He still lied to me.
I know but he tried to tell you.
But he didn't!
OK. He's a moron. He is. OK?
But he's not as big a moron as you think he is.
OK. It really hurt him to lie to you.
So what? He sent you over here to beg for my forgiveness?
No. He doesn't even know I'm here.
But would you forgive him if he did?
Would you forgive him?
Jen. Your 2 minutes are up. No Jen.
We totally played D & D together sometime.
Boz, c'mere.
You wanna play fetch? Let's go.
Say, you OK?
What's this?
Hi. Hi.
I miss you too. But don't think all is forgiven.
I wouldn't...
Cause what you did is pretty terrible.
Yeah. Look, I don't even know where to start.
...with the apology.
You already have. I'm the one who's been holding back.
So...I'm sorry.
But I still resent you for having to forgive you.
Well I'm sorry.
Should I thank you?
Yeah. Somewhere in there.