Lost in a Harem (1944) Movie Script

Somewhere in the mystic distance...
...at the edge
of a mighty imaginary ocean...
...there is a teeming mythical city...
...Port Inferno.
Strange plots are hatched here...
...which will affect the lives
and destinies...
...of two strange persons.
Ormulu. I must speak with the fair one.
- Have you arranged it?
- I can do nothing.
She is as cold as the planet
which bears her name.
You'll try again.
Take these two pieces of gold.
Before the cock crows,
you must bring us together.
I can get a diamond solitaire
That's easy as pie
If I want to travel
I can get the fare
'Cause I know a guy
I can get a mink
With just a wink
Or even less
And I can dig
Gold but big
And I dig it with finesse
I can get a penthouse anyplace
Complete with a view
I can even get as far as second base
With Frank Sinatra too
And I can bet
A horse and get
Ten thousand back for two
But for goodness' sake
What does it take?
What does it take to get you?
I can put a dervish in a whirl
'Cause I have my ins
I can get to be his favorite pinup girl
'Cause I got the pins
I can get the Maharajah jewels
Without a cent
And just like that
Hang my hat
In the sultan's private tent
I can get a camel caravan
'Cause I know
'Cause I know a sheik
All I have to do to get a man
Is pinch him on the cheek
And I would bet that I can get
A Taj Mahal or two
But for goodness' sake
What does it take?
What does it take to get you?
- Who is it?
- Mr. Ormulu.
- Come in.
- Miss Moon, come on, come on.
The sons of the desert
demand an encore.
Mr. Ormulu, please. I simply can't
go out there till you put out that wolf.
Wolf? There must be some mistake.
In the Cafe of All Nations
we do not serve animals.
Maybe that's right,
but there's one out there now.
All during my number,
he just sat there and stared at me...
...like I was a porterhouse steak
and he had a fork and a knife.
He made me so nervous
I could hardly sing.
So now I should throw out
cash customers.
I tell you who I'm throwing out.
Those worthless friends of yours.
That Peter Johnson
and that Harvey Garvey.
When our show was stranded in this terrible
place they lent me money, helped me.
Give them another chance.
I will strike a bargain with you.
They shall have one more chance...
...if you will only speak with the ardent one
who comes nightly to gaze upon you.
Very well. He may speak to me.
After the boys do their act.
Excellent. Excellent.
Worthy patrons, due to circumstances
over which I have no control...
...it is my misfortune to present to you...
...those two international artists...
...Garvey and Johnson.
Look at my curtains.
- Where'd the people go?
- Out here.
- Where are they?
- Out here.
All right, pull yourself together.
The table.
This is a little trick...
A little trick that I picked up in my tra...
Over here. Over here.
A little trick that I picked up
in my travels.
It... Now here we have
just an ordinary little silver cup.
- That's silver?
- Nothing... Yes.
- Silver?
- Nothing in it.
- Let me see.
- It's silver.
- That's tin.
- Don't say tin.
- You know that's silver.
- No, it ain't.
- I say it's silver.
- Oh, we're lying to those people.
- Quiet! Silver, friends.
- That's tin.
I say it's silver.
- That's funny-looking silver.
- That's what it is.
That's what I bought and paid for.
- Well, you got tin.
- Don't say tin!
- I know what you got. That's...
- Never mind. When I say silver, I mean it.
- And when I say...
- Don't say that. Just don't say it.
- I ain't gonna say it.
- Say what?
- That word.
- What word?
- Word you want me to say.
- What?
- I ain't gonna say it.
- Don't.
If you think I'm going to say it...
All right.
All right, never mind that.
You thought
I was gonna say tin.
- Don't say tin.
- I said it. So what?
- Quiet.
- All right.
- Now, we'll place the little...
- Silver.
- Silver cover.
- Tin.
- What's the matter?
- Tin.
Pardon me.
I see, yes. All right.
Indigestion. Yeah.
We place the little silver cover
over the bottle, like that.
We go over...
Pardon me, get out of the way.
We come over here and we place
the cover over the little glass.
Now we just say a few words in magic.
- And over here, we now have the little glass.
- That's good.
And over here, we now have
the bottle.
Oh, that's a good trick.
Ain't it a good trick, everybody?
- Thank you.
- Can you make the bottle go from here...
...back over there
and the glass there?
You mean to transfer the glass
from over there over to there...
...and the little bottle
from there to over there?
Yeah. Make the...
Over there...
All right, all right, all right.
Please.
It's very simple. All you have to do
is cover up the little glass thusly.
Now we go...
Will you get out of the way, please?
We come over here
and we cover up the... with the...
- Silver.
- Silver cover. We cover up the little bottle.
Now we go over here
and we say a few words in magic.
What's the matter with you?
- Put on the lights.
- There you are. Stand still.
- Okay.
- And over here...
Over here we now have
the little bottle.
And over here... Over here,
we now have the little glass.
- I thank you, friends.
- That's a good trick.
- Now...
- Hey...
You see, friends, it's all done
with this little silver cover.
If there's anyone who
would like to examine it...
- There you are.
- Bottle. Bottle.
Take a look at it.
Examine it carefully.
It's all...
- Quiet, quiet, quiet.
- Bottle.
Just look on the inside.
It's all made out of silver.
There we are, my friend.
- Now...
- Hey...
- My next trick...
- Never mind the next trick, brother.
- What's the matter?
- Make a bottle over there.
- Oh, we just got through doing that. Now...
- Make a bottle over there!
Make a bottle on that table!
Just a minute.
You mean to do the same trick again?
- I don't care about this table over here.
- All right, all right.
- Make a bottle over there!
- Do you folks want to see it done again?
- Yes, sir!
- All right.
- Put on the lights.
- Will you stand still?
- And keep them on.
- All we do is cover up the bottle thusly.
And over here, remember, friends...
...all we have is a little glass.
- That's all you'll find.
- Leave that to me.
- And so will I.
We'll just say a few wor...
Quiet! We'll just say a few words
in magic.
Did you...?
- Did you see it go over?
- No, I didn't even feel a breeze.
Well, over here, we now
have a little glass.
- Make a bottle over there.
- And over here...
Over here, we now have.
We...
- Over here...
- Go ahead. Make a bottle.
Quiet. Over here, we now...
We...
- Over here...
- Make a bottle over there.
Over here, we now have a bottle.
Now look what you've done.
Get out. Get out.
I'll meet you in the back.
Wake up. Hey, listen.
Come on.
- What time is it?
- It's time to get out.
I think I started another riot.
- Quick.
- All right. All right. Come on.
- What does all this mean?
- They've got to get away.
Wait a minute.
You can't take her away.
Listen, chief,
you can't take her away.
She had nothing to do with it. Me,
and me alone. I wrecked the whole joint.
- Take them away.
- I want a lawyer. A cheap lawyer, I want.
Oh, piffle, diffle...
...in a squiffle, duffle.
Now you made me say a bad word.
You!
- Spell my name right.
- All right, take it easy, fella.
- Have you a reservation here?
- No.
I have to take my business
someplace else.
I changed my mind.
I'll take the room.
- What's your name?
- Harvey D. Garvey.
- Where born?
- Under a sink.
- How do you know?
- Heard the water.
- Come on.
- Get him away.
No, wait. Just a minute.
Now stop pushing.
Shove a little bit, but don't push.
I don't go for it.
Now, come on, let's get going.
Lock him up.
Thattakid.
What is this?
- Lock him up.
- You heard him. Get in.
There. Thattaboy.
Why don't you put me in the same cell
with you and Hazel.
- Same cell?
- Yeah.
You got us all in this trouble, by yourself.
Now stay by yourself.
Oh, Harvey, I'm not mad at you.
Go away.
Hello.
Pete! Pete!
- Stop that madman.
- The guy's killing me!
- Stop that.
- Pete!
- Hurry up. That cell right there.
- Pete! Help me!
What do you mean, I have to stop him?
I don't want to.
- I can't do anything with him.
- Pete! Pete! Pe...
All right, all right, all right.
What are you trying to do,
start another riot?
Picking on a poor old man like this.
Now, apologize to the gentleman.
Go on, apologize.
I am very sorry that I stopped you
from beating me further.
Satisfied? Thank you.
"Gentleman." I don't know.
Gentleman.
He called me a gentleman.
- Thank you.
- That's all right.
Those are the first kind words
I've heard in years.
You see, I haven't always
been a derelict...
...like you.
Now, now... Don't call me
those kind of bad names...
- Would you like to hear my story?
- No.
Very well.
Then I'll tell it to you.
I said that I'd...
I insist on listening. Go ahead.
- Sit down. Go ahead.
- Thank you.
Years ago, my father gave me
the benefit of a very good education.
Then I met her.
Oh, the memory of her.
She was beautiful, glorious.
We were married.
Two years later, a baby boy.
I haven't seen that boy to this very day.
- Did you say a little baby boy?
- Yes, I did.
- Did he have brown eyes?
- Yes, he did.
- And two little teeth in the front?
- Yes! Yes!
- And black hair?
- Yes.
- Daddy!
- Oh, what's the matter with you? Sit still.
Keep quiet.
Stop interrupting the man.
- I thought I found my father.
- Quiet.
- Go right ahead.
- Thank you, sir.
We were very happy, my little family.
One morning we were seated around
the table and a knock came at the door.
I opened the door and there stood a man.
He was broken in health and spirit.
I bade him enter.
I welcomed him into my home.
I said, "Make my home your home."
And he did.
One day I returned from work
to find that home was no longer home.
My wife, the baby
and the stranger had fled.
Then, one day...
...at the banks of the Pokomoko,
I found them.
Suddenly my brain snapped.
All the hatred, all the pent-up emotion
of years suffering welled up within me.
I knew I'd never be satisfied until I had
my bony fingers wrapped around his throat.
So with murder in my heart...
...slowly I turned.
Step by step...
...step by step,
I crept upon him.
And when I saw the sneer on his face,
I struck.
Then I grabbed him and I dragged him
and shook him around.
That's what I did to him.
What's the matter with you?
What are you interrupting the man for?
Oh, my poor friend, I'm sorry.
- I couldn't help myself.
- No. Certainly not.
But every time
I hear the word "Pokomoko"...
...I just wanna kill.
- Take it easy, pal. Take it easy.
- You see...
...every time he hears
that word, Pokomoko...
- Pokomoko!
- Take it easy. Take it easy.
Oh, I knew I'd never be satisfied until I
had his blood running between my fingers.
So slowly I turned.
Step by step...
...step by step,
I crept upon him...
...and when I saw the smirk
on his countenance...
...I grabbed him and I let him have it again.
I hit him from all angles.
I couldn't help myself.
I was going out of my mind.
Stand still.
What's the matter with you?
The man's telling you his life's history.
This is interesting.
- My poor friend, I did it again, didn't I?
- Oh, that's all right. It's all right.
- What's happening to me?
- Nothing. It's all happening over here.
All right. Well, just don't...
Don't use that word, Po...
Don't... Don't... Don't say it.
He me... He means...
Pocahontas.
- Pocahontas!
- It's all right.
- It sounds like Po-ko-komo, or something.
- Pokomoko!
I hide in a cave.
- So slowly l...
- Here we go again!
- Pete!
- Step by step...
- Pete!
...I crept closer and closer.
And when I felt his breath on my face,
I grabbed him once again.
I give it...
Wait a minute. Just a minute.
You've been getting away with murder.
Enough, do you understand?
I've stood by and watched all this,
and I let you get away with it. But no more.
- Come on. Get up.
- There's no use, Miss Hazel.
He'll only knock me down again.
These things cost money.
Be careful how you handle them.
Go on over there and sit down.
Relax.
Thank you, sir.
You can't buy those hats today.
Quiet. The guard will hear.
- What do you want?
- The girl. I have use for her.
Okay. Hey, Hazel. You know the guy
that comes in the caf every night?
- He says he has use for you.
- Well, tell him I have no use for him.
Yes, ma'am.
She says she has no use for you.
Now, what's your comeback?
Hey. Come here. Come here.
- Maybe he can get you out of here.
- Yeah.
I wouldn't leave
without you going with me.
Oh, Miss Hazel, you gotta go,
you and Pete.
I got the both of youse in this trouble.
I'll stay here and face it like a man.
I'll go out on just one condition:
He gets the three of us
out of here.
- Go tell him.
- Okay.
- Miss Hazel wants to know what's cooking.
- I wish to help her escape.
Tell her I'll get her out of here and out of
this evil country if she'll agree to help me.
You gotta take us
out of this evil country.
That will be satisfactory.
I haven't time to explain further.
- Here.
- He'll get us out.
Take this.
- Use this to escape from the cell.
- Use this?
- Certainly.
- What do you want, eat my way out?
You're the dumbest man I ever saw.
- How do you like that?
- It's in the bread.
You know, you saw the bars.
I'm on top of them.
I gotta see them. I'm not blind.
I can't remain any longer.
Use the saw to escape.
I'll wait
to take you away.
Before the sun rises,
we'll be safe in my desert camp.
- Where's that?
- On the banks of the Pokomoko.
Pokomoko!
Everybody, run to the hills!
- Slowly I turn...
- Derelict, look. Look, look.
- Bread.
- Bread.
- Bread. Bread.
- Bread. Bread!
- Easy, buddy.
- What's this?
Look at what's there.
A saw. Oh, I never...
There's gonna be a jailbreak.
There's gonna be a jailbreak.
- Jailbreak.
- We're gonna escape from jail!
- Hey, jailer. Look here.
- Look.
- Look.
- Where'd those tools come from?
- Pokomoko.
- Pokomoko.
Slowly I turned...
Come on here.
Follow me. Follow me.
Come on. Stay behind me.
I've got you covered.
Come on, Pete.
- Get them over there.
- In the corner.
Quick. Against the wall.
Against the wall. Come on.
Reach for the sky.
- Come on, Harvey.
- Step back against that wall.
I'll fill you so full of lead,
when you sit, you'll make pencil marks.
No, you don't.
Sit down.
Look out. Pete.
Pete. No, no. Don't...
- Pokomoko.
- Pokomoko.
- No, no.
- Pokomoko.
Come on, we've got...
We're the hard-riding, tough-fighting
Straight-shooting
Bow-loving sons of the desert
Oh, we seek the lowly meek
And befriend them
We don't break the laws
We slightly bend them
We're the hard-headed, soft-hearted
Quick-witted
Sure-footed sons of the desert
Tyrants' yokes we will sever
Bonds of friendship never
And come the day
We swear
If there's need of a gun
You can count upon
The sons of the desert
To be there
Ghamu, they come.
Our beloved leader returns.
Rise, my loyal followers.
For weeks, we have awaited your return,
beloved prince.
- Prince?
- Prince?
Forgive me, O prince. But the sands
in the hourglass have shifted many times...
...since your traitorous uncle usurped
your throne, and yet we do nothing.
Have patience, Ghamu.
Tomorrow, the fair one
will enter Barabeeha...
...seeking an audience
with my wicked uncle, Nimativ.
She will be accompanied
by those two brave men.
Tonight you will please accept
the hospitality of my humble camp.
On our arrival,
I will explain how you can assist me...
...in dethroning my vicious uncle
and regaining my kingdom.
Don't you think you're asking an awful lot
in payment for getting us out of jail?
I, the prince, will amply reward you.
I will give you safe journey
to your homeland.
I give my promise. I give my word.
I give my oath.
- What is this, "I, the people"?
- Shut up.
Show my guests
to their sleeping quarters.
What's the matter?
You've kept us awake all night.
Why don't this guy sleep with that mattress
under him, instead of over him?
See that you do not disturb
our slumber again.
I'll sleep with my back to you.
Thank you.
Now what happened? What happened?
What happened now?
What happened now?
What's the matter?
What's wrong?
What is it? Well, leave it alone.
It belongs to him.
You go to sleep.
And if you make but one sound,
I'll slit your tongue.
Now lie down.
Not till I get ready.
I'm ready. I'm ready.
I am very easy to convince.
Now you heard what the man said.
One squawk out of you
and you're dead.
Now lay down.
Good night.
Good night, everybody.
All right. Go to sleep.
He didn't mean it. It's all right.
Go to sleep.
Lay down.
And don't you move.
Thank you. Thank you.
Quiet, quiet, quiet.
Go to sleep.
Go to sleep. He's tired.
- Go to sleep. Go to sleep.
- Go to sleep. Go to sleep.
Go to sleep.
Should I be discovered here,
it would mean my death.
I suppose if I'm caught with you,
I'll be all right.
You have nothing to fear.
My uncle is extremely interested
in blonds.
A trait evidently not inherited
by his nephew.
- Water. Water.
- All right. Stand up.
- Water, water. Water.
- Get him some water. Water.
- Hours under that sun.
- He's getting it.
Water.
There you are.
- More, more, more. Thank you.
- Give him a little more.
- Boy, was my hands dirty.
- Okay. Oh, why don't you stop that.
Well, they was dirty.
- What was that?
- My uncle...
...is undoubtedly torturing one
of my subjects.
But this misfortune is fortunate for us,
as the gates are unguarded.
Miss Moon, you will enter first.
My man will go with you.
You will follow on foot later.
We'll meet at the end of the street.
- What about the camels?
- They'll remain here.
In case of trouble, mount the camels
and ride back to my camp.
- Yes, sir.
- Okay.
Just a moment.
- Quiet. Quiet. Quiet.
- Let go. Let go. Let go.
Take your hands off me now.
Don't pull me around
like that, brother.
Hey, Pete, tell this guy what I did
to the four fellows in jail, how l...
I don't know my own strength.
I'll tell him a thing or two. Hey.
Anybody in there?
You try to pass me, see this?
I will let you have it.
- We've got to get to the palace.
- Get to the palace.
You got password, you get in.
No password, no get in.
Did you ever play Pat-a-cake
with a couple of those things?
- Quiet.
- Hey, look, fella...
...we're easy to get along with.
Will you please let him and I
sneak in up to the palace?
We won't tell anybody on you.
We're a couple of good scouts.
Scouts.
Hollywood scouts?
Yes, yes, we're Hollywood scouts.
Would you like to go in the pictures?
Yeah, we can make
a big man out of you.
What am I saying?
Me be new Tarzan.
- Okay. It's a deal.
- You have your trunks packed...
...and when we come back...
When we come back from the palace...
...take you to Hollywood with us.
- It's a deal?
- Good.
Good!
All right.
Come on. Come here.
All right.
We'll be right back.
From now on,
we're talent scouts.
- But that's telling lies.
- What's the difference? We got away.
- What's the matter now?
- Oh, come on.
We've got more important things
to do here. Come on.
Are your friends here yet?
Are you sure nothing's happened
to them?
- Or is this just a trick to get me here alone?
- Have no fear, my fair one.
I have no interest in you other than what
you can do for me to regain my throne.
I assure you I have no interest in you other
than a means of getting me back home.
You speak as if there were a man
in your life.
If there is, he's too concerned
with his own affairs to give me a thought.
My uncle approaches. Mingle
with the crowd so we will not be observed.
It's Jimmy Dorsey and his band.
He was with our follies.
Jimmy.
Jimmy Dorsey.
He was with our show
when it was stranded.
That's true. My uncle engaged him
to celebrate his rise to power.
Well, why doesn't he remember me?
My wicked uncle has them
under the spell of his evil cat's-eye rings.
- They're practically prisoners.
- How horrible.
Now you can understand
why I want to get those rings.
- Chief. When do we start?
- At once.
You'll be American businessmen.
Miss Moon's your secretary.
Gain an audience with my uncle.
He wears two cat's-eye rings,
one on either hand.
Whoever wears these rings
controls the destiny of the country.
- Why?
- Because with those rings...
...he can hypnotize anyone.
- Anyone?
- Anyone.
When he suspects a plot against him,
he hypnotizes him and finds out the truth.
- The what?
- The truth.
Oh, that old thing.
Stealing the rings
will be no simple matter.
The danger will be great,
but so will be your reward.
You haven't told me
what I'm supposed to do.
Divert my uncle
while your friends overpower him...
...seize the rings and return them to me.
- Wait.
If this is going to be dangerous,
why should we take Miss Hazel with us?
She will be safe. Nimativ will not harm
a hair of her blond head.
She is too fair to look upon.
- Prince, are you coming along with us?
- No, I will enter the palace secretly.
You must go now.
My uncle is entering the palace.
No matter what happens,
have faith in me.
Well, come on, boys.
Don't worry about me, Harvey.
Gee...
...that was wonderful when he looked
right into her eyes and said:
- "Have faith in me."
- Oh, don't get silly.
- I think those two are in love.
- So what?
- I love her too.
- You love her?
Come on.
You wouldn't get to first base...
...with a beautiful girl.
- Yes, I would.
Ever take a good look
in the mirror?
- No.
- Why not?
- Why should I hurt my feelings?
- Never mind.
We've gotta get those rings
and get out of town.
- Right.
- Come on. Watch out, watch out.
Watch out. Don't break anything.
It'll cost us money.
When I laugh, everybody laughs.
Go on!
- How can anyone be so cruel?
- I wonder what he did.
I'm gonna ask one of the peasants
and find out.
Mr. Peasant, why did they tie a man behind
a horse and drag him down the street?
Souvenir hunter. He tried to steal
a button from our ruler's robe.
What would they do to anybody
that stole a couple of rings?
He would have his head chopped off.
If he ever cut my head off,
I'd never talk to him again.
- Hey, Pete.
- What?
This is a serious thing.
If we steal the rings,
we'll come out without any heads.
But we've given our word to help Ramo.
It's our only chance
to get out of this country.
Hazel is right.
We've gotta outsmart this Uncle Nimativ.
You go in and outwit him.
Why should I go out with him?
I mean, I'm afraid of that man.
Not to go out with him.
Go in and outwit him.
Why should I go in and out with him?
I mean, he don't appeal to me.
You wouldn't want me
to think you're a coward...
...would you?
- No, ma'am.
You wouldn't want me
to go in by myself?
Hazel, we'd never allow you
to go in there by yourself...
...no matter what it would mean.
I knew you wouldn't.
Come on, let's go.
Come on, let's go.
Get going. Go ahead. Go ahead.
Well, why didn't you say so
in the first place?
How blond is she?
First of all, you will take me
to her at once.
Then go to my treasurer.
Tell him to give you a piece of gold
for finding this precious jewel...
...then go to my executioner,
tell him to give you 10 lashes...
...for cutting the hair
from the head of my future wife.
Lead the way.
Hey, here he comes.
Good afternoon, Your Highness.
This is my partner.
This is Miss Moon.
- How much will you take?
- She's not for sale.
- How dare you?
- Here, here, keep quiet...
However, life might be quite interesting
with such a handsome man.
Oh, I wouldn't say I was handsome. L...
I wouldn't say I was good-looking.
I wouldn't even say I was attractive.
- What are you saying it for?
- Will you keep quiet?
Incidentally, Your Highness,
Miss Moon heard...
...you were looking
for a beautiful blond.
Yes, and now that I've found her,
my life is complete.
Not so fast. How do I know
you could make me happy?
I'll give you luxuries,
give you beautiful clothes, money.
Jewelry? The guy said
he had a couple of rings on his...
- fingers. I didn't say it. I didn't say it.
I think I understand.
I have two beautiful rings.
I'd like you to look at them.
- Look at them closely.
- Don't look. Hazel, don't look.
Don't put your eyes on the ring!
- Don't look. Don't look. Don't...
- What's the matter?
- Eyes bad?
- What was that?
- Eyes bad?
- Is you?
Pay no attention. Pay no attention, please.
He don't mean any harm.
I'm neglecting my hospitality. If you'll
excuse me, I'll bring some refreshments.
While you're alone, you may amuse yourself
with my beautiful paintings...
...particularly that one.
Oh, my, but she's beautiful.
I would love to have a girl like her.
A girl like her would make
a fool out of you in minutes.
- Pete?
- What?
I hate to have you think that I'm conceited,
but she just winked at me.
How can a picture wink at you?
That's... That's ridiculous.
You know, still there's...
- I can't...
- Pete, am I flying around you?
- No. Something...
- My...
- There's something wrong.
- Head is getting lighter.
- Yeah.
- And lighter.
- Me too.
- Lighter.
What is the real reason
back of your visit?
- We've come to get the rings.
- I thought so.
- How did you learn about them?
- Prince Ramo told us.
Prince Ramo?
And where is my dear nephew?
He's here. In Barabeeha.
In Barabeeha? Where?
I don't know.
Prince Ramo's in Barabeeha.
Send soldiers out.
Search the city,
bring him back dead or alive. Go.
Yes, August Magnificence.
My painted beauty, you never fail me.
Come, O fair one.
Go and prepare to entertain my guests.
So you thought you'd steal my rings.
You thought you'd undermine my throne.
You're in my power, you termites.
We're termites.
I'm a fat termite.
I'm hungry.
I'm hungry too.
Let's have dinner.
John Silver, Old John Silver
John Silver, Old John Silver
Fifteen men on a dead man's chest!
My loyal subjects...
...I have a surprise for you.
I have imported from America,
at great expense...
...a beautiful, blue-eyed blond.
And anyone who says she isn't beautiful
will have his head cut off.
Now, my fair one...
...speak to my good friends
the words I want them to hear.
You are my master.
I wish to become your wife.
- I love you.
- Do you hear that? She loves me.
Very well, my dear,
your wish is granted.
You'll become wife number 38.
The wedding will take place
tomorrow at sunset.
What have you done to me?
Where am I?
- Quiet. Quiet. They will hear you.
- Who?
My uncle's other wives.
You don't mean I'm married
to that bluebeard?
Not yet, praise heaven.
The wedding feast
is planned for sunset tomorrow.
You did this to me, you.
I knew I never should've trusted you.
But you can trust me. You must.
I'll get you out of this. I swear it.
I don't believe you.
A lot you care what happens to me.
All you care about
is getting back your throne.
Hazel, you must believe me.
If anything should happen to you,
my throne would mean nothing.
- Go tell the guard.
- Yes.
- What about poor Pete and Harvey?
- Do not worry, dearest one.
There is a secret entrance
to the reception room.
I will release your friends from their spell,
and I shall return and free you.
- I'll be waiting.
- Don't let him escape.
Hurry.
What happened?
Where's Hazel?
What happened to Harvey?
He's hypnotized. Only with the stick
of a pin can you destroy the illusion.
Well, stick him.
Harvey. Harvey.
What are you waiting for? Stick him.
Hazel, how you have changed.
My uncle forgets I know the entrance
to this room through that portrait...
...and the entrance to the wives' quarters
where he holds Hazel.
Wives' quarters? You mean your uncle
is going to marry Hazel too?
Unless we can prevent it, yes.
Hey, you know, being a termite
makes you mighty thirsty.
Come, we must go to Hazel's rescue.
We'll use the passage
behind the portrait.
Seize him.
Quick. Hurry.
Ambition is a fine thing,
but not in a nephew.
By nightfall, I'll stifle that forever.
Take him away.
Those two termites
will find my guards waiting for them...
...at the end of the passageway.
And what do you think of that,
my painted beauty?
Get out of the way, please. L...
You two no move.
You bad spies. Everyone looking for.
We're not spies, I told you.
We're Hollywood talent scouts.
We can't take you to Hollywood
till we get the blond girl out.
- Yeah.
- All right, I will help you.
- Here they come.
- Here they come. Look out.
Look out!
There.
Hollywood talent scouts.
Take to harem.
Hollywood, in here.
- Hollywood?
- Bobo say two talent scouts.
Wonderful.
Garvey and Johnson Laundry.
You soil it, we boil it.
- Never mind.
- You wear it, we tear it.
We call Mondays for your undies.
That's enough now. Take it easy.
I want to go to Hollywood.
Tell her anything as long we find...
Hazel.
Now, we will take you to Hollywood,
but first...
...we have to get that blond girl
out of there.
No, huh? No.
I have the only key
that will open the door...
...and I'm keeping that so that
Nimativ cannot reach her to marry her.
- No, no, no.
- No, no, no.
At least give us a sporting chance.
Look, I'll do you a favor, a big favor.
You give us the key
and we'll get the blond out...
...and away from your husband.
- Yeah.
Not until I'm sure
that you'll get me in the movies.
- Open up. Open up.
- My husband.
Girls, hide these Hollywood talent scouts.
All right, now,
what are we going to do?
Hey, under the couch.
Under the couch, come on.
Open up.
Get under that couch. All right.
All right, put it down.
Hey!
- Where are they?
- We're all here.
I mean the two Americans.
We've searched the palace,
they must be here.
- But... But...
- But what?
But.
When I get my hands on them,
I'll bash their heads in.
Oh, my future wife.
I'm neglecting her.
Oh, my bride-to-be is not happy.
I must console her.
You've picked my pocket again.
Where's the key?
- Why, I didn't...
- The key!
Now that my fair beauty
is safe from you...
...I can concentrate
on capturing these two Americans.
I know what I'll do.
I'll put a heavy price on their heads.
Amuse me.
Beautiful, isn't she?
But, Neemo,
why must you marry this girl?
Because she's young, she's beautiful.
Besides, she's a blond.
- Blonds are fickle.
- Blonds are scarce.
It isn't that we girls are jealous...
...but this foreign girl
will not bring you happiness.
Perhaps you're right.
I was driven mad with jealousy
when I thought of those two men in here.
I'll release the blond...
...and we can all go
on a second honeymoon.
The key.
It's gone.
You picked my pocket again.
Forgive me. I will return it.
- It is gone.
- Gone?
Well, without the key,
I can't release the girl.
- Give him the key.
- I'll give it to him.
- Hurry up. Hurry up.
- Okay.
Just to teach you a lesson,
I'm going to marry that girl within an hour.
- Here's your key. You're welcome.
- Thank you.
Open the doors!
Open this door.
Open this door.
Did you see two men
come through here?
- Hello.
- Well...
...you're a cute little man.
How old are you?
- Twenty-seven.
- Twenty-seven!
Twenty-seven months.
Yes, sir.
And my mommy will tell you how old I am.
Won't you, Mama?
Guards!
Take him out of...
We have got him.
Here we go again.
All on account of you.
Spend the rest of our days in jail.
- Do not worry. I will get you out.
- Who's going to get you out?
All right. All right, take it easy.
Take it easy.
- Always being thrown in jail.
- I'm sorry, Pete.
You should be.
Prince. Prince.
- Your loyal followers have arrived.
- Good.
Tell them to wait on the north side
for my signal.
Quick. You'll be seen.
- You gotta get me out of here.
- Yes.
Let's find a way to get out.
We've got to.
I'd rather be in that jail...
...with that crazy guy
from the banks of the Pokomoko.
Pokomoko.
Slowly I turned...
- All right. All right, Harvey. Harvey.
- Pete.
- Pete!
- Harvey.
Step by step.
- Step by step...
- Pete!
- Pete!
- All right. All right.
- Pete!
- And when I showed...
- Wait a minute.
- You leave me alone.
Don't you remember us?
We were in that other jail with you.
Sure you do.
I will help you escape from here.
- You can do that?
- You will?
- You have made a powerful friend.
- Swell.
We will.
Quiet. Listen to the man.
I know a secret passage
that will take us out.
Go ahead.
- Follow me.
- Go ahead. Follow him.
- Okay.
- Go ahead.
Where are you taking me to?
I'm not taking you no place.
You're taking me. Don't you remember?
- You wanna get out of this dungeon?
- Sure.
- Well, come along.
- Come on.
- And bring your camel with you.
- Okay.
- Camel?
- Come on.
Get your hands down.
Go ahead with the man.
Go ahead.
At last, we are free.
At last, I am out! I am out!
You're out of your mind.
We're back in the same place!
- Quiet.
- I mean, after all...
Wait, you're attracting
a crowd of people.
You see? Now you're making me
attract a crowd of...
Whose side are you on?
Quiet.
People will think you're crazy.
And I suppose
you're all right?
- Of course.
- Of course.
I have a brother who is crazy.
But I'm all right.
- Who told you?
- My brother.
- That does it, brother.
- Be quiet.
- Take your foot off that man's head.
- Man's head? Pete!
Look, will you please tell your brother
to stay away from me?
- Okay.
- Okay.
Quiet. You'll arouse the keepers.
We must hide until nightfall.
Come, we will go
to my friend Mike's place.
- How far is it?
- It's only 10 miles. Let's go.
- Here we are.
- Here we are?
- Yes.
- How come you got here before us?
- Yes?
- Look, come on, let's go into Mike's place.
Yes, let's go into Mike's place.
I don't want to go in now because
I'm too tired. I just had a 10-mile hike.
- Very well. Then I will carry you.
- Oh, you will?
- Bend over. I'll get on your back.
- Oh, good.
Get off of my back!
- Come on, let's get going.
- Come on.
Don't walk through Mike's door.
- Open the door.
- Open the door first.
I was in Mike's place
and didn't know it?
- Yes.
- Open the door and go ahead.
Open it up.
- Come in.
- Thank you.
Come on.
Well, close the door.
Close the door, please.
Mike's place.
- Did you hear it?
- Yeah.
- Mike's not here.
- No. I didn't think so.
- We'll make ourselves at home.
- Yes, sure.
- I'll play the piano.
- Piano?
Where's he gonna get a piano?
All right. Take it easy.
Would you care to play?
- No. No.
- Yes.
- No.
- Go ahead and play.
- I don't wanna.
- What've you got to lose?
There's no piano over there.
What do you care?
Go over and play it anyhow. Go.
You don't have to push, do you?
Play.
Play.
- There. Okay?
- Sit down and play!
Did you hear it?
Beautiful.
Mike.
Well, well, Mike,
I'm happy to see you.
Stopped by for a drink
with a couple of friends of mine.
The place don't seem
the same without...
Did you hear me play the piano?
- Yes.
- I'm getting scared. Get me out of here.
- Pardon me, boys.
- Yes.
- Say hello to my best pal, Mike.
- Hiya, Mike.
- Do you see Mike?
- Sure. There he is. How are you, Mike?
- Glad to know you.
- Are you kidding?
Hello, Mike. Hi.
Don't kick the place apart.
What's that, Mike?
Sure, we'll have a drink.
Yeah, yeah, sure, sure, sure.
- Swell fellow.
- Oh, yes, yes.
Fine.
- Here's yours.
- I don't drink.
- Go ahead.
- Come on, you can't turn him down.
Okay, Mike.
Well, here's luck.
What's the matter?
What happened? What happened?
- Swallowed the glass.
- Oh, stop.
- Fill them up.
- Another one?
- There.
- Tell Mike I want a big one this time...
...because the last one,
I didn't see it at all.
- How come?
- It was too small.
Mike, tell you what you do.
Have you a large glass?
You haven't one in the house?
Well, how about allowing him to drink
out of that cut-glass bowl?
- That one up...
- Yes, that one there. I realize it's expensive.
Ten thousand dollars?
Well, he won't break it.
- You won't break it, will you?
- No, no.
Oh, no, no, no.
Give me a hand.
It's gonna be heavy, at that. Hurry up.
- That's not the way to grab it.
- Get out of the glass.
Put your arms around it, please.
That's it. Now, hold it. Be careful of it.
Now, don't drop it.
- Cut glass.
- Expensive.
- Please be careful of the bowl.
- Don't drop the bowl.
Well, here's how.
Here's luck.
You broke the glass.
Why did you do that?
- What are you gonna do about it, Mike?
- Wait. Straighten this thing out.
You pick up the glass,
I'll try and straighten it out with Mike.
- Yeah. Hey.
- Here.
- Go ahead. Hurry up.
- Are you kidding?
- Go ahead. There's a broom.
- Mike, it was an accident.
Please listen to me, Mike.
He didn't mean to do it.
- Really.
- Sweep it up.
You saw for yourself
that he couldn't help himself.
You have nothing to worry about.
He'll make it good.
He's a swell fellow
when you get to know him.
I know it was an old family heirloom,
but he'll replace it.
- Throw it out. Throw it out.
- Cash? He has plenty of money.
He's loaded with dough.
Ten thousand dollars is a mere trifle.
Just a bag of shells,
a drop in the bucket, Mike.
He'll pay you a trillion times
more than it's worth.
Throw it out. Hurry.
And in cash.
I'll see to it that you get paid cash, Mike.
No...
Now, look, Mike,
this was all a mistake, now.
Don't go make a big thing
out of a punch bowl.
This kid is a good kid.
He's a pal.
- He'll pay you for it...
- Mike.
- Wait a minute. Don't pull a knife.
- Just a minute.
- Easy.
- You force me to pull a gun.
- Protect these boys.
- Get out.
They came in here with me.
Don't crawl over the bar.
- Put that knife away.
- Hold him back.
Don't, Mike. Please don't... All right,
you're asking for it. Then take that.
What have I done?
My best pal.
Look at those glassy eyes.
Mike, speak to me.
Speak to me.
- Speak to him, Mike.
- He's dead.
I've killed him.
All right, all right. Take it easy.
- Mike. Mike. Speak.
- Blood.
There's puddles of blood here, all around.
What's that?
The police.
They've come to take me away.
They're leading me
into the courtroom.
I can see it all now.
It's the gallows.
They're pushing me up the 13 steps,
they're placing the hood over my head.
I can feel the rope around my neck.
- It's getting tighter. It's choking me!
- Wait a minute.
- Don't let them hang me! It's choking me!
- Wait a minute.
- Come here and sit down.
- Take it off my neck.
- Please.
- Don't let them hang me.
What was that, Mike?
I didn't get it.
Don't talk to me like that,
because I'm a pretty tough kid too.
I don't go for any of that kind of stuff.
I mean, I'm tough. I fight.
Take it easy, Mike. Take it easy.
None of that roughhouse stuff
with me, brother.
Come on, come on, get a little closer,
get a little closer. Get a little closer.
I got a knife here, Mike.
I'll stab you.
I'll let you have it, now.
No, Mike. Mike. Mi...
I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
Don't come over the bar, Mike.
I'm gonna stab you. Take...
- What was that?
- All right. It's all right. It's all right.
Shot him with a knife.
Nothing at all.
He just killed the same guy.
Why all the noise?
What's going on here?
Oh, hello, Bobo. Did you hear the noise?
I told you.
You go in wives' quarters, bad luck.
Now I no get in movies.
We'll make a deal with you.
You get us out,
and we'll see that you get in the movies.
I let you out, I get head chopped off.
Then I still don't get in movies.
Look, shorty, tell you what you do.
Sit over there and I'll tell you
how to get into the movies.
I'll give you the password.
Sit over there.
Sit right down.
Excuse me.
Lend me one of your ears.
I want to explain something. It's a secret.
Get us out of here.
Prince Nimativ, if you wish to prove to me
that you are kindhearted...
...then release Ramo and my friends
from the dungeon.
Once they are free...
...you will no longer have to place me
under the spell of your magic rings.
I will obey you of my own accord.
Very well, my sweet.
- I will release your friends.
- You will?
After the ceremony.
As for Ramo...
...I think it'd be a mistake to release him.
He'd get into trouble again.
How can a man so wise
fear such a weakling as your nephew.
Were you not wise enough
to take his throne from him?
You're right, my dear.
I'm the wisest man in Barabeeha.
No one can outwit me. Once I have them
in my power, they never escape.
Your Highness,
the three have escaped.
Search the palace!
Call the guards!
When I capture them,
I'll show them no mercy.
All of this was a pretense
to attract my attention...
...while some other traitor
let them loose.
I'm wise enough for this,
I'm wise enough for that.
One thing I am sure of, that you'll never
marry me of your own free will.
That's something else
you're wise to now.
Hazel.
Ramo.
Where are the boys?
They're signaling my followers.
We'll take you out of here by force.
But what about
you regaining your throne?
That is not so important as this.
Get out of there.
Get out of there. Get.
Get out of there.
Hey, Pete.
You're making a terrible mess.
Get up there. Get up on your feet.
Now listen.
- Forgive me. All right.
- Listen.
If Nimativ finds us in here,
we're done for.
Look at this mess. Look at this mess.
You're always...
- Wait a minute. See that lamp over there?
- Yeah.
Just a minute.
This must be the north side of the palace.
- This is the north side.
- Take that lamp. Signal from the window.
- Hurry up. Go ahead.
- Okay.
Help. Help. Help...
- Pete? Look at all the wardrobe here.
- What's the matter?
If our show had this,
we'd have never been stranded.
- Yes, look. There's two of each kind.
- Two of everything.
- I wonder why.
- These people are afraid to go out in public.
They're afraid of being assassinated.
- Big people like that are afraid?
- Yeah.
Why, there's nothing to it.
When I was a little boy
in school...
...I was assassinated on the arm.
It didn't even hurt.
I tell you, they haven't been here.
You hid them once before.
You might do it again.
So they haven't been here.
Did they do that? Answer me!
- I guess so.
- You guess so? You know so.
You've fooled me for the last time.
Pack up and get out of here.
Come near me again,
I'll horsewhip you.
Now listen. Come here.
Go in to Nimativ...
...make him think you're Teema.
- Yeah.
You get him into a position.
I'll grab the rings.
- Wait a minute. You heard the guy.
- What?
If she comes back,
he'll horsewhip her.
Just flatter him.
He'll forget he's mad at you.
Yeah, but suppose while I'm...
While I'm flattering him, in she walks.
Why do you think I'm dressed this way?
I'll keep her out.
- You're to be Nimativ?
- Sure.
- Where's your beard? Put it on. Quick.
- Right here. I'll make one. See?
This is where my knowledge
of makeup comes in.
- Be a big man. Put the beard on, go.
- Sure.
You used to laugh at me
when I put this on.
- I used to laugh. Now you got me worried.
- All right. Pull yourself together.
This two-way stretch
is stretching three ways.
Now listen to me.
Please, will you go on in there to Nimativ?
Do I have to especially go now?
- You just split an infinitive.
- Well, I mean...
Is it showing?
Let me know when they capture
those two renegades.
- I want to execute them for my wedding.
- Yes, master.
Get me the palace carpenter at once.
I've just broken Nimativ's favorite mirror.
The stars have mercy. That means
you'll have seven years' bad luck.
Oh, if Nimativ finds it out,
I won't live that long.
Go quickly.
You go first, Pete. Come on.
Now listen. You've got to get
Neemo in your power.
- Look, I'm scared.
- Just a minute...
We've got to get those rings.
Understand?
Don't be scared.
I'll hide over here.
If you need me, holler, "Pete."
I'll come in.
- Okay.
- All right.
- Oh, Pete. What kept you?
- L... What's the matter?
- I was here all the while.
- Where? I yelled, "Pete..."
I was here.
Holler, "Pete," I'll come in that quick.
- Get in here between that.
- All right. Here.
Look around here.
Just call his name. Go ahead.
Call it out.
Nimativ.
Oh, Nimativ.
Baby's little Nimativ.
Come here, Pete.
Nobody's around.
I thought I kicked you out just now.
I said, I thought I kicked you out just now.
You did.
But I come back because I love you.
- Why, Teema, don't you feel well?
- No.
- I'm awful sick.
- Well, come. Come and sit down.
There, dear, there. Come on.
- Now, what's the matter with you, darling?
- Oh, Nimativ, I don't feel good.
And the reason why... I'm very jealous
because you're going to marry that blond.
And I don't want you to...
You bruised me. You brute.
Just for that,
I'm gonna go home to my mother.
Oh, come, come, come.
Don't carry on like that.
Teema.
Oh, Teema.
Here, kiss me, Teema.
What's the matter with you?
Why do you act like this?
My other wives don't find me repulsive.
- Wine, Teema?
- Yeah, yeah. Sure.
Get away, Pete!
Teema, eh?
Pete. Pete, come here.
Come here.
I did a good job on this guy.
- Nice work, Harvey. Keep him covered.
- Right.
Keep him covered.
I have an idea.
Oh, guard.
- Yes, master?
- Release the blond.
Lay off those Americans.
They're my friends.
- Yes, master.
- Go.
We've got to bring him to.
Hypnotize him with his own rings.
- Good. Right
- Get some water. Hurry up.
- Hurry up!
- All right.
- Here we come.
- Let me have it.
- Let me have it.
- Okay.
Not me!
What are you doing?
Him. Bring him to.
- What did you tell me?
- All right, go ahead. Watch out.
- Wait. Shut up. Quiet.
- That'll bring him three. Three or four.
He's coming out of it.
Watch out.
Now I'll see if it works.
Repeat after me. Repeat it!
- I will give Ramo back his throne.
- I will give Ramo back...
- Not you.
- I thought you meant me.
- Shut up.
- Get your hand down.
Quiet.
I will give Ramo back his throne.
I will give Ramo back his throne.
- It worked. It worked.
- We got him.
Here, keep him under that spell.
Now look,
I'm going out and change clothes.
- Get out of that dress. I'll be right back.
- Yeah. Okay.
Oh, boy. Say, at last I'll be back home
in Paterson, New Jersey.
At last, I'll be back home
in Paterson, New Jersey.
You don't live there.
What do you mean?
Ramo. Ramo. Ramo.
- Here I am.
- Come quickly.
I'll be with you as soon as I can
get through the passage.
Hello, my proud beauty.
Here. A rose for your hair.
Go ahead, put it in your hair.
Go ahead.
- Throw him into the dungeon.
- Yeah. Take him away.
Take your hands off me.
You fools.
You thought I was still
under the influence of the rings.
- Give them to me.
- I will not. Keep them any longer.
Take the rings.
I don't want them.
- Guard, seize them.
- Yes, sir.
Have my chief executioner prepare
the chopping block and sharpen his ax.
You, my dear nephew, will have
the pleasure of witnessing my wedding.
And you, my dear, you will have
the pleasure of witnessing their execution.
And if you're particularly nice,
I'll present you their heads on a platter.
Particularly yours, you dog.
Take them out of here.
Nimativ say he chop off
Hollywood scouts' heads.
- Now no one get in movies.
- Did you hear that, girls?
- What will we do?
- I'm tired of Nimativ's abuse.
He's not going to stop me
from going to Hollywood.
Listen to me, I have a plan.
- Let us have the execution.
- The execution. The execution.
- Let us have the execution.
- Let's have the execution. The execution.
Patience. Patience. Eager ones.
- What's par on this hole?
- One.
- Wait... Wait a minute.
- Who dare?
Just a minute.
After all, this is my pal.
- Harvey.
- Pete.
Goodbye, old pal.
Be brave.
Don't lose your head.
What are you saying?
What are you saying?
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Excuse me, please.
Pete. Pete!
- Pete!
- Yes?
- Pete! My head!
- What's the matter?
- My head!
- What's the matter?
They cut it off!
- They cut my head off, Pete!
- There. There's your head.
You put it back on. What a pal.
- What's the meaning of this?
- It's a big surprise for you.
Take them away.
Throw them in the dungeon.
- There he is.
- Yeah.
Guy that tried to make termites
out of us.
Yeah, the dog.
Go to the kennels!
Go to the kennels!
Go to the kennels!
To the kennels.
No, you gotta go to the kennels.
Go on,
there's plenty of bones there.
- Did you tighten the gold boxes?
- Yes, the gold is all on.
Give gold to everybody.
Are you sure
they'll get back safely?
One of my most faithful subjects
is driving them.
Goodbye.
Give my regards to Pokomoko.
Pokomoko!
- Slowly...
- Help!
- Get out! Get out!
...I turned. Step by step.
Step by step.