Lost Inside (2022) Movie Script
1
["Run No More" by
The Talbott Brothers playing]
It doesn't get easier
the further I run
It gets harder to carry
The weight
of what I've done
I am speaking
from experience
I don't wanna
run, run, run no more
I don't wanna
run, run, run no more
It seems to me a man
can do a lot of thinking
When he's staring down
the barrel of a gun
And the devil's had
his sights set on me
Since the day that
I took sides with the Son
Now every morning
I go to war
With the ghosts
I met the night before
Just trying to find
the grace in my mistakes
[siren wailing in distance]
-[horn blares]
-[wailing continues]
Oh, not today, asshole.
[grunting]
[TV host] ...your neck areas
and all that kind of stuff...
[panting]
You're killing me, Karen.
Goddamn.
[grunting]
No, don't do it agai--
He's just gonna
cheat on you again.
Ugh. [clicks tongue]
You never listen.
She never listens.
[soft guitar
instrumental playing]
[sighs]
[siren wailing in distance]
Please. Come on.
Jordan Tyler is a hack.
The guy doesn't even
write his own music.
[exhales]
Today's the day.
I can feel it.
I can do this.
[exhales] Today's the day.
I can feel it.
I can do this.
It's gonna be today.
Oh, yes.
I can do this, right?
Yeah. Yeah. I can do this.
I can do this. I'm gonna leave,
I'm gonna leave,
I'm gonna leave,
-I'm gonna-- [gasps]
-[knocking]
[breathing heavily]
Hello?
Hello? Mr. Williams?
I have some deliveries for you!
You're supposed to
leave them at the door.
Oh.
Sorry! I'm new.
[exhales sharply]
Left specific instructions...
[muttering indistinctly]
I left specific instructions.
-You just leave...
-[groceries clunking]
...the groceries by the door.
[video playing]
[chuckles]
[coughing]
[woman in video]
Your fearless leader, Becky.
-[groans]
-Now, for my serious face.
It's been five years
since the genius
that is Tucker Stills
was taken from us.
[whispers] Five years.
Now,
this groundbreaking musician
deserves a second chance,
right?
Right. So a group of us
most dedicated fans--
you know who you are--
have made it our mission
to find him
and return him to his music,
for us, for him,
for the world, okay?
So if you've seen anything,
if you know anything,
if you know anyone who's seen
anything or knows anything,
DM me. And in the meantime,
don't forget to like,
comment, and subscribe.
Calm down, Benji.
How the fuck are you
gonna tell me to calm down?
They're looking for me
out there.
I can tell you
no one will find you.
You're safe.
Just take a deep breath.
You think I'm paranoid.
I think you had
a very traumatic experience
a few years ago,
and you're still dealing
-with the fallout from that.
-Traumatic's an understatement.
I lost my mind.
Well, that's a little extreme.
The breakdown
in the Chinese restaurant?
-Right.
-Attacking that photographer?
-[therapist] Yes--
-Freezing on stage?
Okay, I get it.
Not your finest moments,
but you shouldn't
dwell on any of that.
Easy for you to say.
You're a very
sensitive, anxious,
and private person, Benji.
Fame was not made for you.
You need to forgive
yourself for everything
-that happened that year.
-I have.
But you still
haven't left the house.
Hey, I can forgive myself
and still wanna stay safe
in my own home.
It's not healthy, Benji.
Who are you to tell me
what's healthy?
A doctor. Your doctor?
I mean, the real world sucks.
Why would I wanna leave
my personal bubble anyway?
To live.
To grow, to socialize.
You realize I hear sirens
outside my window every night?
-You live next to a hospital.
-It's dangerous out there.
[knocking on door]
Go answer the door, Benji.
Wasn't the door.
Something just fell.
Confront the door, Benji.
[Benji sighs] Oh, God.
[breathing heavily]
You know I can hear you on the
other side of the door, right?
[delicate piano
instrumental playing]
Oh-kay. Well, uh,
I'm your new neighbor, Sylvia.
That's my name.
Which was obvious.
I didn't need to say that.
Anyway, I'm bringing you
a welcome basket,
um, which, technically,
you should be bringing to me.
But I'm kind of weird!
But not in a bad way.
Not in a good way either.
[chuckles]
People don't generally like me.
I'm a lot.
Okay,
I'm gonna stop talking now.
Oh, okay. Uh, enjoy the basket!
[Jordan] Aw.
Well, that was sweet of her.
-[music stops]
-Jesus!
How the hell
did you get in here?
Well, technically,
I'm not really here.
I'm more in here.
What the fuck does that mean?
Short version? Psychotic break.
[scoffs] I'm not buying that.
Try again.
Fine. You wanna go there?
I'll tell you
a little bit about yourself.
Hmm. Where to start?
Please don't touch that.
[Jordan] Your dad
was an abusive drunk,
but your mom tried
to shield you from him,
which makes you feel so guilty.
You even wrote
your first song for your mom
after your dad beat her bloody.
Stop.
[Jordan] You wet the bed
until you were 14
because of your
massive anxiety issues.
I said you can stop now.
Your first kiss resulted in
you throwing up on her after
because you were so nervous.
I said
you can fucking stop now.
Your middle name is Connor.
Your first pet was
a dog named Wiggles.
And your greatest fear is...
well, everything.
Did I leave anything out?
-[whoosh]
-[glass shatters]
[panting] Oh, no. No. Oh, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
How?
Magic.
I've really lost it now,
haven't I?
You've never had it, dude.
Are you supposed to be me?
-Do I fucking look like you?
-No, like, are you supposed to
be some sort of manifestation
of me or something, somehow?
Wow. This is why
you failed Psych 101.
Hey, you can't
smoke that in here, dude.
I'm in your head.
Fuck. This can't be real.
[Jordan] Define real.
-Jesus! What the fuck, dude?
-You don't have any ashtrays.
That's my mom, asshole.
[Jordan] Yeah, I know.
Hey, Debbie. How's it hangin'?
-Get out.
-[Jordan] You first.
No. Fuck this.
I'm just hallucinating.
Too much Red Bull.
No such thing.
I just need some sleep.
You'll be gone in the morning.
See you tomorrow.
[soft guitar
instrumental playing]
-[shutter clicks]
-[sobs]
-[shutter clicks]
-[Debbie] No.
-[shutter clicks]
-[Debbie cries out]
-[shutter clicks]
-[shouts]
-[shutter clicks]
-[sobbing]
[gasps]
[sirens wailing]
Morning, Mom. [clears throat]
Sorry about last night.
-[shower running]
-[Benji singing]
Wow, you are a mess.
-What the fuck, dude?
-Is this all true?
[stammering] Can you-- can you
even be going to the bathroom?
Anything you can do,
I can do better.
Ugh. You know what,
I did not need to hear that.
Wait-- wait a minute.
-Where'd you get that?
-Your closet.
I-- Just-- How can you
even be holding that?
Yeah, I don't get the question.
You're not even real.
Oh, I'm very fucking real.
[groans] You know what?
Fine. Just--
Can you let me
finish my shower in peace?
I'm not done yet.
[Benji groans, mutters]
How is-- how is
that even possible?
Well, you see,
when you eat food,
-the digestive system starts--
-Oh, fine.
You know what,
just shut up, okay?
Just shut up. All right?
Just let me finish
my shower in peace, please?
Wow. So they actually
had to drag you off stage
at that awards show?
[Benji scoffs]
-[water turns off]
-[quietly] Oh, my God.
-[Sylvia giggling] Don't sweat.
-[man panting]
[man] You think it's hot enough
out for me to ditch the shirt?
-[Sylvia] Could I stop you?
-[man] I mean, you could try.
[Sylvia scoffs] Well,
you do love to show off, so...
[man] Hey, I put in the work.
I might as well
get some validation from it.
I already give you
too much validation.
-There's no such thing.
-Uh-huh.
-Once around the park?
-Yeah. Loser buys dinner!
Hey!
-[Sylvia shrieks playfully]
-[man] Come back here!
[Jordan] That's not super
creepy stalker-y or anything.
[Benji] Fuck.
Good to see you too, buddy.
Can't get rid of you, can I?
I'm like a bad kisser,
or herpes.
[Benji sighs]
Okay.
There's one thing
that's been bothering me.
-One thing?
-Fuck you.
How did you know about the song
that I wrote for my mother?
Do we have to
go over this again?
I know what you know.
Yeah,
but I didn't even remember it
until you mentioned it.
That's because I have
access to parts of your brain
that even you don't know about.
-That's scary.
-You're tellin' me.
Your subconscious is
starting to look like a...
-never-ending warehouse.
-Fuck you.
It's gonna get old quick.
[sighs] What do I have to do
to get rid of you?
I leave when you leave.
What the fuck does that mean?
It's not
a fucking coded message.
I'm here because
you're a lonely bastard.
Leave the house,
get a life, and then I'm gone.
That is not going to happen.
There has to be another way.
Hey, this is your show.
I'm just along for the ride.
You're right.
I'm in charge.
If I just ignore him,
he'll go away.
Don't talk about me
like I'm not here.
[gentle instrumental playing]
[water running]
[Jordan singing]
Whoa, whoa, yeah
Whoa, whoa, yeah
I know you know
this one, buddy.
Jump in at any time.
From Chicago To Atlanta
San Francisco Bay
We don't care, yeah
[video game beeping]
Okay, this one's pretty simple.
Go to the right.
Get to the right. Right,
right, right, right, right.
Get on the-- The guy on
the right, get the guy--
No, right.
That's the le-- No, no, no.
That's the left, go to
the right. Get to the right.
Is this your first day playing?
You look like
you have a lot of stars,
so play this game right--
Don't be a baby.
You're not-- you're not done.
This is fucking dumb.
Okay.
Your controller's dead.
That's why you suck.
[midtempo soft rock playing]
Leave.
Don't smile at me. Leave.
You saw her work out.
You getting your
summer bod ready?
Looking fit,
looking hot to leave the house?
Deb want you to leave.
Don't get mad at me.
You're doing sit-ups.
-[yelps]
-Good morning, sunshine.
You realize this doesn't count
as human interaction, right?
[sighs]
So, how did you
get those chopsticks
to stick into that dude's leg?
It's an honest question.
Come on. I can do this.
Here we go.
Okay. If I leave, he leaves.
Are you talking
to yourself again?
[exhaling sharply]
[panting]
[exhales] Yes!
[grunts] Did you miss me?
-Oh, no.
-No? Okay.
-[groans]
-Aww.
You should.
Rude.
Just because there's
no room in there for me
doesn't mean
I'm gonna stop trying.
[knocking on door]
Hey, someone's here.
I don't care.
But what if it's your neighbor?
Mmm. Grumpy.
[soft piano
instrumental playing]
Hey, can I borrow
that screwdriver I gave you?
I made the mistake
of buying IKEA furniture,
and now I'm playing this big
ol' game of Tetris. [chuckles]
Hey! Ah-- Oh, sorry.
I'll back up.
There you are! [chuckles]
You know, I was starting to
think this place was haunted,
and I don't do well
with creepy neighbors.
Thanks.
-Benji.
-Benji!
Nice to meet you, Benji.
[clears throat] You too.
[Jordan] You need
to say more than
three words to her next time.
What makes you think
there will be a next time?
Oh, she'll be back.
There are six things
left in the basket.
[Jordan] You need
to get rid of her.
Look at all of the dust
that she's spreading.
[whistling]
She's an ash whore.
Yeah, please don't refer to
my dead mother as a whore.
Fuckin' shit.
Ooh, that looks expensive.
Please don't touch that.
I said don't touch that.
[Jordan] When was
the last time you played?
-No, no, no. Wait.
-Stop. Stop, stop.
-No, no, whoa, no.
-Put it down.
I will not put this down.
Oh, God.
[strums discordantly]
That's not right.
[strums off-key]
[Benji] If you're supposed to
be me, why do you suck so much?
That's rude.
I've always wanted
to be a rock star.
Have you ever smashed
one of these on stage?
Stop. Dude, what the fuck's
the matter with you?
It's good to see
a guitar in your hands again.
How does it feel?
You know, you're a manipulative
little asshole, you know that?
[Jordan] I said,
"How does it feel?"
Good.
I will make you a deal.
I'll leave you alone
for the rest of the day
if you play me a little bit.
It doesn't even have to be
one of your songs.
[strums guitar softly]
[exhales]
I'm trying my hardest, okay?
It's not an easy situation.
It'll happen when it happens.
You're supposed
to be my friend.
[sighs]
What am I gonna do
about her, Mom?
[sighs]
[Jordan] It's been two weeks
since you've seen Sylvia.
When are you gonna
come up with a plan?
Over. Let it go.
It never even started.
You know,
can you not be a dick tonight?
I feel bad enough
without you psychoanalyzing me.
Then do something about it.
She has a boyfriend.
Doesn't mean
you can't take your shot.
I mean,
even if I did do something,
I can't even leave the house.
What kind of life
would that be for her?
Maybe she's worth
leaving the apartment for.
[scoffs] Please.
If I didn't leave the apartment
to get rid of you,
nothing's gonna blast me
out of this place.
Wow.
You are such a fucking coward.
Just leave me the fuck alone!
Sure, right after you grow up
and realize that your fear
does not come from out there.
It comes from in here.
You know nothing about my fear.
[Jordan] Seriously?
I literally live in your head.
Feel free to leave at any time.
Why? Because I'm making you
face your shitty life?
Hey, I didn't have
a shitty life, okay?
My life was fine
before you showed up.
Really? Is that why you cry
yourself to sleep every night?
-Shut the fuck up.
-You don't have a life.
You have a coping mechanism.
-Shut up.
-You just can't admit
-to yourself that you're...
-Shut up!
-...a fucking coward.
-[shouting] Shut up! Shut up!
[rapid knocking at door]
[knocking]
Hey, it's Sylvia. Are you okay?
[stammers] Yeah, I'm fine.
Okay, great. Can you open
your door so I can make sure
someone's not
holding a gun to your head
and making you say that?
Benji,
I have dialed nine and one.
You cough if you want me
to hit that last one.
Okay. [soft chuckle]
All right. no visible cuts
or bruises, that's good.
Um. I'm sorry, I was just
having a bit of an argument.
[Sylvia] With...
Oh, uh, my-- my dad.
Ooh, yeah.
Parents are the worst, right?
My mom is always
texting me pictures
of her friends' grandkids,
and I'm like,
"I get it, Mom, back off."
[laughs]
Right.
You don't talk much, do you?
N-- No, I-- I don't.
It shows.
I'm-- I-- I don't--
I don't really
leave the house much.
I think-- I'm sorry, that's not
something you need to know.
No, no, that's okay.
That sounds really rough.
Is there a reason?
It's a tough world out there.
Yeah. I get that.
So, where's my welcome basket?
[Benji] Oh. Yeah, right.
Um, sorry. Let me go get that.
No, no, I meant, um,
why haven't you
made me one yet?
Oh, right. Um, yeah.
Uh, I-- I can do that.
Uh, it's just, um,
I-- I--
What should I put in it?
Surprise me.
I don't really like surprises.
Well, lucky for you, I do.
Well, it was good
to see you again, Benji.
Yeah,
it was good to see you too.
-[sighs]
-[Sylvia] It wasn't that bad.
You'll do better next time.
What the fuck, dude?
It worked, didn't it?
[sighs]
Any ideas?
[sighs]
What the fuck am I gonna
put in this thing?
[groans]
Hey, dude?
Where'd you go?
Ah, fu--
Look, buddy,
I need your help, okay?
Fine. I need you, man. Lo--
You're the best ghost
or imaginary friend
or whatever
I've-- I've ever had.
Can you please help me?
[sighs]
I need you, man.
Can't leave me now.
[Jordan belches, grunts]
Fuck.
It took you long enough. Shit.
[Benji] What the fuck, dude?
Where have you been?
Oh, you miss me?
[Benji] You didn't hear
any of that, did you?
[Jordan] How could I?
I was chillin' in the fridge.
Thanks, man.
-Any time.
-[Jordan sighs]
["Brighter Days" by
Logan Pilcher playing]
Okay. Basket time.
Basket time.
[Jordan]
Gonna get a Red Bull first.
-She deserves a big one.
-[Benji] Good shit.
-[Jordan] Get the gummies.
-You know what else?
[Jordan] Gummy bears.
You have good ideas, don't you?
-Nope.
-Here you go.
[Jordan] Obviously no.
Good call. It's cute.
A fork!
[indistinct chatter]
What they say,
they don't know
It's like a paper cut
that seems to grow
Until all that hurt
seems to feel like home
-The crme de la crme.
-Ah!
You're down on your knees
In over your head
All the bad memories
play over again
Good.
You know what the last thing
you need to add is, right?
-[Benji] What?
-Music.
Music is your way
of communicating.
You need to make her a mix.
Of what?
[sighs]
Your favorite songs, dumbass.
And there needs to be
a Tucker Still song on it.
No, I-- I can't.
It's the best way
for her to get to know you.
-But then she'll know.
-She knows you as Benji.
[Benji] That's not a far leap.
For you.
But for her,
she'll never even have a clue.
I mean...
-Fine.
-[Jordan] Great.
And heaven only knows
How far it's really gone
You're down on your knees
With your heart
on your sleeve
And heaven only knows
It's a car crash every day
Your nightmare,
nothing you can say
So you scream out,
but no one hears your cry
Can't remember
when you felt so alone
Nothing left to do
so you go get stoned
Okay.
It's been an hour.
You need to do this.
I don't do too well
leaving the apartment.
It's across
the fucking hallway.
And we watched her leave
a half an hour ago,
so she's not even home.
So you don't need to try to
string any words together.
[sighs] Okay.
[sighs] Okay.
It's across the hall.
-It's across the hall.
-It's across the hall.
Please hurry up.
[panting]
[coughs]
Why the fuck
did you just hold your breath?
I don't know.
I-- I don't know.
Dude, you got issues.
Okay, now that you're a little
less hostile towards me,
I was wondering if we were
gonna talk about this.
Nope.
[video game din]
[Jordan] Okay.
[gentle piano
instrumental playing]
[glass clinks]
Nice!
Um, so, what do you do
for-- for like, a living?
Um, I'm a bartender.
What about you?
Oh, um, uh,
it's kind of complicating.
Um, I mean--
I mean, I'm kind of a writer.
Oh. Uh, nice.
Like, books?
No. Um, more like
websites and stuff.
[Sylvia] Nice.
Anything I would have seen?
[Benji] No.
It's all pretty generic stuff.
Oh, so close.
-[clink]
-Favorite color?
Uh, blue.
[Sylvia chuckles]
Iceland.
Drunken pickle ball.
A penguin in a suit.
-Naked jumping jacks.
-[Sylvia laughs]
Lighting a candle underwater.
[clears throat]
Um, who's that guy that's...
who's always over
at your apartment?
You mean my brother Daniel?
Ohh. He's your brother.
Yeah, he is.
He's had a really rough
go of it, actually. He, um...
Well, my parents
kicked him out of the house
when he came out
when he was 15,
and I said,
"If Daniel goes, I go."
And my parents never
really liked me that much.
You know,
I was always annoying them,
so, no argument there.
So we left.
Um, that sucks.
I'm-- I'm sorry.
It did, for a while.
But it was kind of nice
having our freedom, you know?
And Daniel's
always stood by me.
He's the only one that can
tolerate my extra-ness.
[Benji clears his throat]
[glass clinks]
Biggest accomplishment?
-[Jordan] Platinum record!
-Oh, um, being able to survive
in the house for so long
without, um, going crazy.
-[clink]
-Not quite.
Do you have any friends?
[Benji] Uh...
[sighs] No, not-- not really.
Well, you do now.
That is, until I annoy you
into ghosting me.
So have you really not left
the apartment in five years?
Um-- [clears throat] Yeah.
It doesn't feel
that long, though.
It never does, right?
When one day just kinda
blends into the next.
You make it sound
so depressing.
Isn't it?
[clears throat] Sometimes.
Sometimes, though,
it can feel safe.
It can feel warm.
You know, I'm most creative
when I'm by myself.
Well, what kind of
creative stuff do you do?
Uh, usually just, um, you know,
just writing, stuff like that.
So, what do you do...
for, like, fun?
Wait here.
Um...
Is this supposed to be
some sort of magic trick
or something?
[laughs] No. Better.
-[Benji] Hmm.
-[Sylvia] Okay.
Aces or wild?
[door shuts]
That looked like fun.
[Benji] It really was.
So, are you gonna ask her out?
Isn't that what we just did?
Yeah, that doesn't count.
Plus, you actually have
to leave the apartment
at some point.
[Benji] You know, why do you
have to Eeyore my night?
I'm here for the tough love.
Come on.
I'll help you figure this out.
[sighs] You know
what your problem is?
[sniffs]
Are you drinking ros?
[Benji] Red Bull
and white wine.
You're gross.
[sighs] Go on,
tell me my problem.
You're a nosy bitch and
you're always up in my shit.
I mean,
why do you even care, anyway?
-Because I'm you.
-[Benji] No, no.
-That's not true.
-[scoffs]
Because-- because I don't care.
[Jordan] You obviously do.
You know nothing about me.
I know everything about you.
You know, you always have to
get the last word in, huh?
I can never win
a fight with you.
It's very, very frustrating.
You're only
fighting with yourself.
Somewhere
deep inside your brain,
you are desperate
to leave this place.
Why? Huh? Tell me why.
It's warm.
It's comfortable. It's safe.
Why would I ever want to leave?
[Jordan] You really wanna know?
Bring it on, fucker.
You are a lonely bastard who
buries that loneliness so deep
that you need to create
an imaginary friend
to help you deal with it.
Fuck you.
You know nothing about me.
You seriously want to take
a spin on that block again?
You think you're so smart,
that you know everything.
Huh? Well, you know nothing.
Hey, man, I know you're drunk
and you don't care,
but I really am
just trying to help you.
Well, you suck at it.
[siren wailing in distance]
You know what, fine.
You wanna fall deeper into
your lonely hole until you get
so depressed that you send
a bullet through your brain?
-Do it.
-I'm not depressed.
You don't know what not being
depressed is like anymore.
You've wasted
the last five years
in this goddamn prison,
and for what?
To not deal with
the horrors of the world?
-Exactly.
-[Jordan] Well...
I have news for you.
That when you block out
the horrors of the world,
you block out the good shit,
the shit that makes you happy.
Look at you. Your life sucks.
Fuck you.
All right, fuck you too.
[sighs]
What are we gonna do about him?
You're gettin' fat, Deb.
[knocking at door]
[knocking at door]
-Hi. Hi.
-[Benji] Hi.
[Benji] Oh! I am so sorry.
It's okay, you were
obviously asleep, so...
I-- um-- [clears throat]
Yes, um, we were.
Oh. "We."
-[Benji] Oh, I-- I'm sorry.
-I'm sorry.
-[Benji] I mean me.
-You have someone over--
-[Benji] I was asleep. No--
-No, I'm--
Um, please, uh, come in.
Are you sure?
Um... uh, yes...
-Uh, Sylvia, this is--
-Oh, no, don't do that.
...a surprise.
Yeah, well, I know how
you love surprises, so.
[Benji chuckles]
You, uh, got anything to eat?
Um...
Just talk to her.
-[Benji] Shh.
-[Jordan] She can't hear me.
She can't hear me.
Look. Hi. Hello.
-[Sylvia] Wow.
-She can't hear me.
Your fruit snack game
is strong.
Ah, sorry, that makes me seem
a little psycho, doesn't it?
[chuckles] No! No, I love it.
-[Jordan] She loves it.
-[whispers] Shut up.
-What?
-Oh, it-- it's nothing, sorry.
Are you sure you're okay?
Um, yeah.
Sorry, I'm just a little--
a little hungover.
We didn't drink that much.
[Benji] I had
a little more afterwards.
Uh-oh. You know that
binge drinking alone
is a cry for help, right?
Um, yeah. Yeah.
And that banter
is a team sport?
-[Benji] Right. Um...
-[laughs]
Wait, no, no!
Um, sorry. Um, the social
skills are a little rusty.
[Jordan]
Or did they ever exist?
Shh!
Are you sure that
there's no one else here?
Uh, positive.
Check the whole place.
No, I didn't mean-- I'm sorry.
I'm being extra again, huh?
No, no, no. Um, you're fine.
Well, I just wanted
to stop by and see
if maybe you
wanted to watch a movie later.
[Benji] Um, depends.
-Oof.
-Wrong answer.
Oh. I mean, yes.
Whoa, don't sound too excited.
[laughs]
I'm sorry.
Um, just me and, um...
surprises.
Right, well,
you don't have to do anything.
Okay,
I'll plan the whole thing,
and all you have to do
is be at your door at seven.
[Benji] Uh, we're not
going anywhere, are we?
Oh, my God.
Would I do that to you?
I mean, yeah,
I guess I totally would.
But that's not
what's going on, I promise.
Um, okay.
-"Great. I'm in."
-Great. I'm in.
Great. Tonight.
Seven.
Okay. Um...
-Sounds...
-[Jordan] Lovely.
...lovely.
[Jordan] Okay.
-[door opens, shuts]
-Bye.
[Jordan] You are useless.
[Benji] Goin' on
a date tonight, Mom.
[sighs] Never thought
I'd say that again.
I know we haven't
talked in a while,
but, uh...
I just hope I don't
mess this one up, you know?
You've been there.
Been with me by my side.
I haven't had
the best track record.
[sighs]
[clicks tongue]
Wish me luck.
Love you, Mom.
[under his breath]
I can't do this.
[inhales]
Look,
I don't think I can do this.
I really like you, but I really
can't leave this place.
I just-- [groans]
Oh, okay.
You're great, um,
and it's not you.
It's me.
[groans] I--
[sighs]
Please don't make me do this.
[knocking at door]
Oh, boy.
["The Best Thing"
by Paper Planes playing]
Rainy days
don't seem so wet
Stormy nights don't stay
From the moment
that we met
You were worth the wait
Oh, this could be
the best thing
That I'll ever know
We talked for hours
and never slept
Two silhouettes
on the concrete steps
We watched the sun
as it slowly crept
From the horizon
to the place we met
Oh, this could be
the best thing
That I'll ever know
Are you good?
You see that ship?
-It's the best.
-It's so nice.
[playing upbeat music]
[shaking pill bottle to rhythm]
[laughs] You know, we sound
pretty good together, actually.
[Jordan] Maybe we should
write something.
No, I'm-- No, I can't.
I bet you have
hundreds of these songs
just floating around
in the back of your head.
Don't you pretend
that you don't know that I do.
Yeah, that's a good point.
[Benji sighs]
[drumming]
I hate it when you do that.
[capo squeaks]
[chord strums]
[strums]
I'm proud of you.
Door closed and everything.
Thanks.
That's kind of sad, isn't it?
No, it's great.
Uh... [clears throat]
Uh, do you--
would you like to, uh,
watch a movie
out in the hall tonight?
Actually, not to push you
too hard or anything,
but since now you've
technically left your place
and I've technically
also been inside...
do you think that we could move
our hangouts into your place?
Don't get me wrong,
I love this hallway.
But my ass is starting
to get a little flat
from sitting on
the concrete all the time.
-Um...
-[Jordan] Please, please,
say yes, you fucking coward.
-Are you okay?
-Um, uh, yeah. Um.
Y-- Yes.
We can hang out
at my place tonight.
Great. You won't regret this.
You regret this, don't you?
Um, no, I--
I'm just-- I'm sorry.
This is all, uh--
this is all very new to me.
I'm just, um-- [clears throat]
I have to get used to it.
Well, is there anything
I can do to help?
[sighs]
Actually, could-- could you
just give me one second?
It'll be quick.
Do you take a lot of those?
[Benji] Only when
I get stressed out.
Thanks.
No, no, no, it's--
It's seriously not you,
I just--
[sighs] I'm sorry, I'm just...
going through a lot right now,
um, but I know I can do this.
I really also like
spending time with you.
I like spending time
with you too.
I'm gonna have to
get used to that.
[Benji] Sorry.
[Sylvia] Oh, God. It's okay.
No, it's okay.
It's all right, it's all right.
It's not a big deal, it's fine.
You know, talking to me
like I'm a child doesn't help.
I don't know
what you want me to do, Benji.
Can you cut me some slack?
[whispering] I'm sorry.
It's just--
I'm really
stressed out tonight.
I better go.
I gotta get up early for work.
Well, that's bullshit.
Excuse me.
[Benji] What kind of a bar
opens early in the morning?
-Right. Inventory.
-Oh.
Well, I mean,
you really don't have to go.
No, it's okay. You know,
we'll pick something easier
next time, like a movie.
But I-- I-- Please,
I didn't mean-- I--
That went well.
[Benji] Shut up,
it was a start.
You like her a lot, don't you?
[Benji sighs]
Yeah, well,
she's pretty awesome.
She's definitely
an improvement.
You've had
a pretty crappy track record.
Yup.
Never really been
one with the girls, have I?
[Jordan] No, you have not.
You know, my first girlfriend
had to trick me
into kissing her.
[chuckles] Yeah, Amy.
And don't forget about
the fire starter in college.
-Chloe?
-And then there was Rachel.
Who darted after
I wasn't famous anymore.
-[Benji sighs]
-You have not had
any luck in this department.
No, the only luck
I've ever really had
was with my music, and...
somehow I managed
to fuck that up too.
[chuckles sardonically]
[Jordan] Hey,
if you don't mind me asking,
what happened with that?
You remember Chloe
but you don't remember
what happened with my music?
It might help to talk about it.
I-- Truthfully,
I-- I don't know. You know?
I mean, one minute
I'd written this song
that I was physically
in love with, you know,
and then the next?
The whole world
was in love with it.
I don't know, maybe...
I wasn't ready to share it.
-I don't think that's true.
-I--
[pensive piano instrumental]
[chuckles]
It all just happened so fast.
And before I could even
wrap my head around
recording an album...
you know,
my face was everywhere.
You know,
cameras were following me.
Executives were asking me
for my next album.
-Yeah, that sounds like a lot.
-It was! You know?
Like, I remember
the moment I snapped.
I was leaving after a show,
and instead of my car,
it was a mob of fans.
And they were just
pushing me and shoving
and trying to touch me
and reach their arms
out for selfies and--
[sighs]
Something broke in me.
I've never been so scared.
[scoffs] I couldn't breathe.
I passed out,
next thing I know,
I woke up in the hospital
with this...
irrational fucking anger.
That anger never left.
Any time
I'd feel like that again,
I would just lash out,
become violent.
And people thought
I was fame-crazed.
It was the exact opposite.
And I don't know.
My mind just shut down.
-[Jordan] The freezing onstage.
-Freezing on stage.
Even if I wanted
to come back from that,
how could I?
So-- so naturally,
I just locked myself up
and threw away the fucking key.
[sobs]
[Jordan] I know, buddy.
[music stops]
Are we ever gonna talk
about the fact
that I look like Jordan Tyler?
No.
[sighs]
What do you want me
to say, okay?
He's just some guy.
[Jordan] He's obviously
more than just some guy.
I mean, so he was--
he was good at life.
I sucked at it, you know?
So what?
-[sighs]
-So, jealousy.
More like inadequacy.
No. You know what? Fuck you.
We're done talking
about this, all right?
[sighs]
Just so we're clear.
You sucked at living his life,
not yours.
You know, all this insightful
bullshit's getting old, right?
All right. Dump in that sugar.
-You sure?
-Yes, I'm sure.
Are you kidding me?
This is gonna be so good.
-[Benji] Like that?
-[Sylvia] Yeah.
I made this recipe up.
Dude, you're getting
better at this game now.
-I know, right?
-Just kidding.
-Oh, fuck man.
-Fuck you, dude.
-No.
-Dude.
Fuck you, fuck you.
[shots blasting in video game]
Yup.
-That sounds good.
-That sounds fine.
Is it straight?
Yup.
Nice. Okay.
["Bring It On"
by the Space Doves playing]
What is this?
You shouldn't have.
You are somethin' else,
you know that?
You are so great.
What the hell?
That's exactly what--
What am I doing?
What am I doing?
What are you doing?
-That was a waste of money.
-I--
What the fuck?
Bring it on, yeah
Bring it on
The rain
[Benji breathes deeply]
You got mystic
Rays of light
[TV program playing]
Leads you through
The darkest night
Bathroom.
[phone chimes]
[Sylvia] What the fuck
are you doing with my phone?
It went off. I'm--
Don't look at my shit, okay?
Geez, okay. Um...
Who's-- who's Becky,
and what-- what does she mean?
You know what?
I think it's time for me to go.
No, you-- you don't have to go.
No, no, no, no, it's okay,
I, um-- um-- I'm just tired.
I swear. I'll see you tomorrow.
But--
["Stay" by The Talbott Brothers
playing]
Will you lie here
Under star drowned skies
And look me
In the eyes when I say
These are hard times
[breathing heavily]
[strumming]
[Jordan] That's a new one.
Let's just say I was inspired.
What's it called?
Coward.
[upbeat instrumental playing]
-No?
-Yeah.
[Jordan] Hey!
I was writing that too!
[bright acoustic
guitar playing]
[light vocal music playing]
Yeah. Teamwork.
Dream work.
[Jordan] It's time, buddy.
No fucking way.
[sighs]
You've been social.
You're dating Sylvia.
You're writing
and playing again.
You wrote an awesome song.
It's time
to take the bigger step.
-No.
-Why?
-Because.
-Really?
[Benji] Because
I don't want to.
It was her last wish.
Don't you fucking dare.
You do realize the door
does not need to be open
for me to get in, right?
[Benji] You know,
we're finally getting along.
Why do you want to ruin that?
I am not here
to get along with you.
I'm here
to kick your ass out the door!
I'm making progress, aren't I?
Why can't I do it
at my own pace?
Just to remind you
that I am you
so there's a part of you
that wants to do this.
Yeah, but not
the same part of me that wants
-to get rid of you right now.
-Why are you being so scared?
[grunts] Fuck!
Look, get this through
your thick,
stubborn head, okay?
I'm not ready,
so back the fuck off.
Not ready because you don't
want to leave the apartment
or not ready because
you don't want to say goodbye?
Get the fuck out of my head!
[panting]
Hi. Can I come in?
Um, yeah. Are you sure?
Yes. Please.
Want another beer?
[Sylvia] No,
I'm still working on my first.
Are you sure you're okay?
You seem really tense.
[sighs]
First time
out of the apartment.
Yeah, but you're
just across the hall.
I mean, my apartment's
almost identical to yours.
Unfortunately, that's not
how my brain sees it.
Well, not to encourage
more drunkenness
but what about a game
of drowning fruit snacks?
What's bothering you?
It's, uh, it's my mom.
I thought your mom was dead.
She is, um,
[clears throat]
it's just that, uh...
I, uh-- I have her ashes
on my coffee table.
Oh, I was wondering
what that was.
[sighs] Bit of a long story.
Uh, short version.
[sentimental
piano music playing]
[sighs] I missed her funeral
because I wouldn't
leave the house.
My father informed me
that her final request
was that her ashes be scattered
at our old summer home.
But that would mean
leaving the house.
-[snaps fingers] Right.
-Right.
How long have you
had the ashes?
Three years.
So what's different now?
An annoying
little voice in my head
that's pressuring me
into doing it.
-I could do it for you.
-I'm just not ready.
So what are you gonna do?
Feel guilty.
Hey, I thought it was my turn.
You weren't going.
You forfeited your turn.
So are we ever going to talk
about why you're a shut in?
[clears throat] That's, um--
that's not really something
I care to talk about.
Obviously.
[Benji clears his throat]
Well...
would it help if I, um,
if I told you that
I know you're Tucker Stills?
How?
Wasn't that hard.
I have the Internet.
When? When did you know?
Not right away.
Um, I kind of got my first hint
when I heard
the Tucker Stills song
-that you put on that playlist.
-[Benji whispers] Bastard.
And it sounded
so much like you.
Not just the voice,
but the words.
So a couple of weeks in,
I guess.
So I take it, then,
you read about the, uh--
the photographer.
Yeah.
-About the Chinese restaurant.
-[Sylvia] Oh, yeah.
You think I'm psycho,
don't you?
No. I-- I didn't know what to
believe at first, you know,
'cause the-- the violent,
fame-crazed man they were
describing just did not jive
with the man that I know.
The gentle, quiet, funny man
who's afraid of his own shadow.
But then I read about
the awards and I got it.
I get why you closed
yourself off from the world.
They broke you.
-Who broke me?
-[Sylvia] Everyone.
The press,
the fans, the industry...
the world.
Wow.
No one's ever
put it like that before.
You're right.
They-- they broke me.
S-- so why the fuck have I been
blaming myself all this time?
'Cause the whole world
blamed you.
And it's kinda tough
to argue with the whole world.
Look, Benji, I'm not here to
tell you what's right or wrong
or who to blame
or even how to heal.
I can't possibly imagine
what you've gone through.
[whimpers]
And we can take this
as slow or as fast as you want.
I just want you to know that
even if you never
leave the house again...
-I'm here for you.
-[Benji cries]
You would never be
happy with somebody
who can't leave the house.
But we don't
have to be dating for--
for me to be here
for you, you know?
We don't have to
define anything.
We can just take it day by day
and see if we're friends,
or support systems,
or soulmates.
Whatever it is,
is fine with me.
[Benji sobs]
You know, I pay $200 a session.
My therapist has never
put anything that good.
You should charge.
[chuckles]
[Jordan] Hey.
Sorry about yesterday.
-Nah, you were right.
-Excuse me?
Hey, don't get too excited,
all right, buddy?
But, uh, I think
you're right, it is time.
I don't even know...
how to respond to that.
You don't have to
say anything, just help.
What about Sylvia?
We're cool.
She's helping too.
I don't--
I'm gonna handle my shit.
-I appreciate that.
-Yeah, you should.
It got really hot in here
all of a sudden.
[sentimental guitar
instrumental playing]
How you doin'?
It's hard to know
[panting]
And all these things
just come and go
[dog barks]
I've been close
And here I stand,
nothing to show
[door creaks]
I get lost
Looking for you out there
I can't do this.
It's a process.
You'll get there.
What if I don't
want to get there?
Hey, you don't mean that.
I mean, she's my mom.
Why can't she just
stay with me, you know?
Be with me?
That's not what she wanted.
What about what I want?
Yeah, that doesn't matter
in this case, man.
[panting]
I mean, you know
your mom is dead, right?
Those are just ashes.
[whispers] Holy fuck.
If you're supposed to be me,
why are you so good at life
and I fucking suck at it?
Goddamn.
-No, man. Don't do that.
-Fuck.
-Oh, man, oh, God, oh, God.
-Don't go there.
-You don't suck at life.
-[Benji] Fuck, I can't.
-You're good at your life.
-I can't, I can't, I can't.
Can you say it with me?
-[Benji] I can't-- Fucking sh--
-Hey, stop.
Say it with me,
"I am good at my life."
[mutters] I am good at my life.
You don't sound convinced.
Get up. Come on.
Say it with me.
"I am good at my life."
I am good at my life.
Louder.
I'm good at my life.
Louder. Make me believe.
-I'm fucking good at my life.
-Good. You got this.
-I've got this.
-Good.
Now go find Sylvia and do this.
Good, now go find Sylvia
and do this--
No, fuck.
We are done repeating.
-Oh.
-Go find Sylvia and do this.
-[sighs]
-Fucking moron.
["Made to Fall In Love
with You" by Michael Shynes]
[Sylvia] All right,
let's open the door.
All right.
[door creaks closed]
Relax.
Everybody's walking
toward the tightrope
A little forward, stop.
In a foreign world
Tidal waves
and broken like a starlet
I am drunk
but I'm made for her
I was made
To fall in love with you
I was made
To fall in love with you
Sticking to the roads
that we had left here
Summer eyes
have left this place
And everything
I want to give you
Has been broken
on your phase
I was made
Step down.
To fall in love with you
One more.
Okay.
Taking the blindfold off now.
Wait, wait.
[breathing deeply]
You can do this.
Wow.
How you doing?
It's so beautiful.
It's a good place
for your mom to rest.
[tender piano
instrumental playing]
I'm not sure
I'm ready to do this.
It's not about being ready.
Nobody's ever ready.
It's about deciding
that it's time.
-Do you need my help?
-No.
No.
[sighs]
I can do this.
[breathing heavily]
Well, this is it, Mom.
Thank you--
Thank you for always
being my biggest fan.
[cries]
And for always believing in me.
[sniffling]
I promise
I'll come visit you...
all the time.
[sniffling]
You'll always be with me.
[crying]
[sniffling]
[sobbing]
I love you.
[panting]
Can't believe
I spent so much time...
hiding from all of this.
Jordan was right.
[sighs] I wasted so much time.
Well, now
you can make up for it.
I was lost for so long.
Well, you know,
someone smart once told me
that to get lost
is to find the way.
[sentimental
piano music playing]
Who's Jordan?
-Hey, Benji.
-Yeah?
I need to tell you something.
Okay.
I wasn't completely honest
about the way that we met.
-Okay.
-Oh, my gosh, Sylvia,
I've been waiting for you
for, like, three hours,
-and I definitely ran--
-[Sylvia] Becky, no.
Oh, my gosh.
It's Tucker Stills.
-Oh, my God--
-Benji, I'm so sorry.
You look just like
your pictures,
and that doesn't always happen.
You know what, I am so excited
to meet you in person.
-Becky--
-I'm a huge fan.
-Listen-- No--
-Sylvia has told me
so much about you,
but also, most importantly,
I hope you guys don't mind,
I did bring some friends.
-They really wanna meet you.
-[Sylvia] What? Becky, no.
-I know.
-You guys, please.
[woman] Oh, my God, oh, my God!
-[overlapping excited chatter]
-[shutters clicking]
[Becky] That's my bad.
[car door shuts]
-Benji--
-No.
Okay. Fuck you.
You don't get to talk.
I wanted to tell you.
[Benji] I ju--
What did I just say?
Okay, you used me.
You used me
to get to Tucker Stills.
No, not anymore.
Stay the fuck
away from me, okay?
No, I did try
to find you. I did.
But then I met you
and you were nothing like
I thought you would be,
and I really did fall for you--
No!
Fuck you.
["Call My Number"
by Paper Planes playing]
Call my number
call my name
[over TV speaker] Victory!
If you wander back again
Call my number
call my name
We both know I'm to blame
Call my number
call my name
If you wander back again
Call my number
call my name
We both know I'm to blame
[Benji] A packet
of cigarettes, please.
[clerk] $11.
Thank you very much.
We both know I'm to blame
[receptionist] Mr. Williams.
-[exhales sharply]
-[receptionist] After you.
[Benji] Thanks.
So you really think he's gone?
It's been six months.
You don't sound happy.
I feel more alone now
than when I was shut in.
I mean, Jordan's gone.
My mother's gone.
You know,
Jordan was always with you.
You can visit him
whenever you want.
-The same with your mom.
-It's not the same, though.
Have you seen Sylvia?
Why the fuck
would you ask that?
Hey, what she did was horrible.
But she was the one that
got you to leave the house.
There must be
something good there.
Jordan got me
to leave the house.
Jordan forced you
to look at your life.
Sylvia was the catalyst
for you to leave.
-You should talk to her.
-Why?
She may have a good reason
for what she did.
She may feel bad.
She may actually love you.
[scoffs]
Well, let's focus
on better thing.
You're slowly
rejoining the real world.
You're even doing
that songwriter showcase.
I am very proud of you.
[chuckles] Thanks.
It could be
really good for me, in a way.
I just want to do
what I love without the fame.
Sounds like a good compromise,
and I'm sure people
will be clamoring
-for new Tucker Stills--
-No, no, no.
No more Tucker Stills.
All right?
This time I'm doing this as me.
I think that's very healthy.
Just so long
as I don't freeze on stage.
I'm really nervous
about this, actually.
Just close your eyes
when you're on stage
and imagine you are alone
in your living room.
No, I mean, it's not that.
I mean, it is that, but also...
Jordan won't be
there to see it.
[traffic dim, horns honking]
[guitar plays softly]
I need you, buddy.
Where are you?
[sniffs]
[sighs]
You know,
I never got to say goodbye.
[sniffs]
If it weren't for you, I--
I'd probably still be
in that damn apartment.
And I probably
have would never left.
Of course,
you're a horrible wing man.
I wouldn't have had the balls
to do this without you, buddy.
I miss you.
I love you, man.
-[kiss smacks]
-Cheers, buddy.
[announcer] Welcome
to the Songwriters Showcase,
Benji Williams.
[applause, cheering]
[sighs]
Everyday I'm losing
an uphill battle
Was it all worth it
my moment in the sun
Nowadays I'm afraid
of my own shadow
Believe it or not
I used to be someone
Now I can't stop
The voice
in my head says I'm not
The kind of person
who gets a second chance
Who can catch
lightning in a bottle again
When I'm not
a coward anymore
I'll have the strength
to walk out the door
And face the world
and face the urn
Because this love
is worth fighting for
When I'm not
a coward anymore
I'll pick my courage
of off the floor
And face the world
And take that urn
Because this love
is worth fighting for
Oh
[applause]
[sighs]
[exhales]
[sighs]
[breathes heavily]
[Sylvia] Are you gonna knock
or should I just open it?
Do you want any fruit snacks?
How have you been?
[sighs] All right, I guess.
Can I please apologize to you?
I never meant
for any of this to happen.
[upbeat guitar instrumental]
I was looking for
Tucker Stills,
but then I met you...
and I just felt
so connected to you.
Tucker Stills
or Benji Williams?
Well, it's true,
I was a fan of Tucker Stills...
but now I'm a fan
of Benji Williams.
[chuckles]
Okay, yeah, I heard that as it
was coming out of my mouth.
But seriously,
that's-- that's why I felt
such a connection
to the words in your music.
It was so personal.
And I really, really felt
a connection to the music,
a connection to you.
It's just music.
It's music that you wrote.
[Benji sighs]
Can we start again?
You think you can ever
forget Tucker Stills?
-I can try.
-[Benji chuckles]
So what does that make us?
Friends? Soulmates?
How about support systems?
So, uh...
[thud]
You're not really
a bartender, are you?
I book bands for the Fillmore.
[Benji] Hmm.
That's actually
how we first met.
Um, I didn't
personally book you,
I was doing
marketing at the time
but I was at your show.
And I was working in the back.
And as soon as you
started playing,
I just stopped
what I was doing.
I couldn't focus on anything.
I just sat there listening.
["Start Again"
by Kadesh playing]
Let's just start again
[music explodes]
Oh
Whoa-o-oh, yeah
Let's start again
Uphill, uphill
Start again
Uphill, uphill
Let's start again
Uphill, uphill
Start again
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Whoa
Whoa-o-o, yeah
Yeah
Let's start again
Uphill, uphill
Just start again
Uphill, uphill
Let's start again
Uphill, uphill
Start again
Oh-oh-oh-oh
[music fades]
["Run No More" by
The Talbott Brothers playing]
It doesn't get easier
the further I run
It gets harder to carry
The weight
of what I've done
I am speaking
from experience
I don't wanna
run, run, run no more
I don't wanna
run, run, run no more
It seems to me a man
can do a lot of thinking
When he's staring down
the barrel of a gun
And the devil's had
his sights set on me
Since the day that
I took sides with the Son
Now every morning
I go to war
With the ghosts
I met the night before
Just trying to find
the grace in my mistakes
[siren wailing in distance]
-[horn blares]
-[wailing continues]
Oh, not today, asshole.
[grunting]
[TV host] ...your neck areas
and all that kind of stuff...
[panting]
You're killing me, Karen.
Goddamn.
[grunting]
No, don't do it agai--
He's just gonna
cheat on you again.
Ugh. [clicks tongue]
You never listen.
She never listens.
[soft guitar
instrumental playing]
[sighs]
[siren wailing in distance]
Please. Come on.
Jordan Tyler is a hack.
The guy doesn't even
write his own music.
[exhales]
Today's the day.
I can feel it.
I can do this.
[exhales] Today's the day.
I can feel it.
I can do this.
It's gonna be today.
Oh, yes.
I can do this, right?
Yeah. Yeah. I can do this.
I can do this. I'm gonna leave,
I'm gonna leave,
I'm gonna leave,
-I'm gonna-- [gasps]
-[knocking]
[breathing heavily]
Hello?
Hello? Mr. Williams?
I have some deliveries for you!
You're supposed to
leave them at the door.
Oh.
Sorry! I'm new.
[exhales sharply]
Left specific instructions...
[muttering indistinctly]
I left specific instructions.
-You just leave...
-[groceries clunking]
...the groceries by the door.
[video playing]
[chuckles]
[coughing]
[woman in video]
Your fearless leader, Becky.
-[groans]
-Now, for my serious face.
It's been five years
since the genius
that is Tucker Stills
was taken from us.
[whispers] Five years.
Now,
this groundbreaking musician
deserves a second chance,
right?
Right. So a group of us
most dedicated fans--
you know who you are--
have made it our mission
to find him
and return him to his music,
for us, for him,
for the world, okay?
So if you've seen anything,
if you know anything,
if you know anyone who's seen
anything or knows anything,
DM me. And in the meantime,
don't forget to like,
comment, and subscribe.
Calm down, Benji.
How the fuck are you
gonna tell me to calm down?
They're looking for me
out there.
I can tell you
no one will find you.
You're safe.
Just take a deep breath.
You think I'm paranoid.
I think you had
a very traumatic experience
a few years ago,
and you're still dealing
-with the fallout from that.
-Traumatic's an understatement.
I lost my mind.
Well, that's a little extreme.
The breakdown
in the Chinese restaurant?
-Right.
-Attacking that photographer?
-[therapist] Yes--
-Freezing on stage?
Okay, I get it.
Not your finest moments,
but you shouldn't
dwell on any of that.
Easy for you to say.
You're a very
sensitive, anxious,
and private person, Benji.
Fame was not made for you.
You need to forgive
yourself for everything
-that happened that year.
-I have.
But you still
haven't left the house.
Hey, I can forgive myself
and still wanna stay safe
in my own home.
It's not healthy, Benji.
Who are you to tell me
what's healthy?
A doctor. Your doctor?
I mean, the real world sucks.
Why would I wanna leave
my personal bubble anyway?
To live.
To grow, to socialize.
You realize I hear sirens
outside my window every night?
-You live next to a hospital.
-It's dangerous out there.
[knocking on door]
Go answer the door, Benji.
Wasn't the door.
Something just fell.
Confront the door, Benji.
[Benji sighs] Oh, God.
[breathing heavily]
You know I can hear you on the
other side of the door, right?
[delicate piano
instrumental playing]
Oh-kay. Well, uh,
I'm your new neighbor, Sylvia.
That's my name.
Which was obvious.
I didn't need to say that.
Anyway, I'm bringing you
a welcome basket,
um, which, technically,
you should be bringing to me.
But I'm kind of weird!
But not in a bad way.
Not in a good way either.
[chuckles]
People don't generally like me.
I'm a lot.
Okay,
I'm gonna stop talking now.
Oh, okay. Uh, enjoy the basket!
[Jordan] Aw.
Well, that was sweet of her.
-[music stops]
-Jesus!
How the hell
did you get in here?
Well, technically,
I'm not really here.
I'm more in here.
What the fuck does that mean?
Short version? Psychotic break.
[scoffs] I'm not buying that.
Try again.
Fine. You wanna go there?
I'll tell you
a little bit about yourself.
Hmm. Where to start?
Please don't touch that.
[Jordan] Your dad
was an abusive drunk,
but your mom tried
to shield you from him,
which makes you feel so guilty.
You even wrote
your first song for your mom
after your dad beat her bloody.
Stop.
[Jordan] You wet the bed
until you were 14
because of your
massive anxiety issues.
I said you can stop now.
Your first kiss resulted in
you throwing up on her after
because you were so nervous.
I said
you can fucking stop now.
Your middle name is Connor.
Your first pet was
a dog named Wiggles.
And your greatest fear is...
well, everything.
Did I leave anything out?
-[whoosh]
-[glass shatters]
[panting] Oh, no. No. Oh, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
How?
Magic.
I've really lost it now,
haven't I?
You've never had it, dude.
Are you supposed to be me?
-Do I fucking look like you?
-No, like, are you supposed to
be some sort of manifestation
of me or something, somehow?
Wow. This is why
you failed Psych 101.
Hey, you can't
smoke that in here, dude.
I'm in your head.
Fuck. This can't be real.
[Jordan] Define real.
-Jesus! What the fuck, dude?
-You don't have any ashtrays.
That's my mom, asshole.
[Jordan] Yeah, I know.
Hey, Debbie. How's it hangin'?
-Get out.
-[Jordan] You first.
No. Fuck this.
I'm just hallucinating.
Too much Red Bull.
No such thing.
I just need some sleep.
You'll be gone in the morning.
See you tomorrow.
[soft guitar
instrumental playing]
-[shutter clicks]
-[sobs]
-[shutter clicks]
-[Debbie] No.
-[shutter clicks]
-[Debbie cries out]
-[shutter clicks]
-[shouts]
-[shutter clicks]
-[sobbing]
[gasps]
[sirens wailing]
Morning, Mom. [clears throat]
Sorry about last night.
-[shower running]
-[Benji singing]
Wow, you are a mess.
-What the fuck, dude?
-Is this all true?
[stammering] Can you-- can you
even be going to the bathroom?
Anything you can do,
I can do better.
Ugh. You know what,
I did not need to hear that.
Wait-- wait a minute.
-Where'd you get that?
-Your closet.
I-- Just-- How can you
even be holding that?
Yeah, I don't get the question.
You're not even real.
Oh, I'm very fucking real.
[groans] You know what?
Fine. Just--
Can you let me
finish my shower in peace?
I'm not done yet.
[Benji groans, mutters]
How is-- how is
that even possible?
Well, you see,
when you eat food,
-the digestive system starts--
-Oh, fine.
You know what,
just shut up, okay?
Just shut up. All right?
Just let me finish
my shower in peace, please?
Wow. So they actually
had to drag you off stage
at that awards show?
[Benji scoffs]
-[water turns off]
-[quietly] Oh, my God.
-[Sylvia giggling] Don't sweat.
-[man panting]
[man] You think it's hot enough
out for me to ditch the shirt?
-[Sylvia] Could I stop you?
-[man] I mean, you could try.
[Sylvia scoffs] Well,
you do love to show off, so...
[man] Hey, I put in the work.
I might as well
get some validation from it.
I already give you
too much validation.
-There's no such thing.
-Uh-huh.
-Once around the park?
-Yeah. Loser buys dinner!
Hey!
-[Sylvia shrieks playfully]
-[man] Come back here!
[Jordan] That's not super
creepy stalker-y or anything.
[Benji] Fuck.
Good to see you too, buddy.
Can't get rid of you, can I?
I'm like a bad kisser,
or herpes.
[Benji sighs]
Okay.
There's one thing
that's been bothering me.
-One thing?
-Fuck you.
How did you know about the song
that I wrote for my mother?
Do we have to
go over this again?
I know what you know.
Yeah,
but I didn't even remember it
until you mentioned it.
That's because I have
access to parts of your brain
that even you don't know about.
-That's scary.
-You're tellin' me.
Your subconscious is
starting to look like a...
-never-ending warehouse.
-Fuck you.
It's gonna get old quick.
[sighs] What do I have to do
to get rid of you?
I leave when you leave.
What the fuck does that mean?
It's not
a fucking coded message.
I'm here because
you're a lonely bastard.
Leave the house,
get a life, and then I'm gone.
That is not going to happen.
There has to be another way.
Hey, this is your show.
I'm just along for the ride.
You're right.
I'm in charge.
If I just ignore him,
he'll go away.
Don't talk about me
like I'm not here.
[gentle instrumental playing]
[water running]
[Jordan singing]
Whoa, whoa, yeah
Whoa, whoa, yeah
I know you know
this one, buddy.
Jump in at any time.
From Chicago To Atlanta
San Francisco Bay
We don't care, yeah
[video game beeping]
Okay, this one's pretty simple.
Go to the right.
Get to the right. Right,
right, right, right, right.
Get on the-- The guy on
the right, get the guy--
No, right.
That's the le-- No, no, no.
That's the left, go to
the right. Get to the right.
Is this your first day playing?
You look like
you have a lot of stars,
so play this game right--
Don't be a baby.
You're not-- you're not done.
This is fucking dumb.
Okay.
Your controller's dead.
That's why you suck.
[midtempo soft rock playing]
Leave.
Don't smile at me. Leave.
You saw her work out.
You getting your
summer bod ready?
Looking fit,
looking hot to leave the house?
Deb want you to leave.
Don't get mad at me.
You're doing sit-ups.
-[yelps]
-Good morning, sunshine.
You realize this doesn't count
as human interaction, right?
[sighs]
So, how did you
get those chopsticks
to stick into that dude's leg?
It's an honest question.
Come on. I can do this.
Here we go.
Okay. If I leave, he leaves.
Are you talking
to yourself again?
[exhaling sharply]
[panting]
[exhales] Yes!
[grunts] Did you miss me?
-Oh, no.
-No? Okay.
-[groans]
-Aww.
You should.
Rude.
Just because there's
no room in there for me
doesn't mean
I'm gonna stop trying.
[knocking on door]
Hey, someone's here.
I don't care.
But what if it's your neighbor?
Mmm. Grumpy.
[soft piano
instrumental playing]
Hey, can I borrow
that screwdriver I gave you?
I made the mistake
of buying IKEA furniture,
and now I'm playing this big
ol' game of Tetris. [chuckles]
Hey! Ah-- Oh, sorry.
I'll back up.
There you are! [chuckles]
You know, I was starting to
think this place was haunted,
and I don't do well
with creepy neighbors.
Thanks.
-Benji.
-Benji!
Nice to meet you, Benji.
[clears throat] You too.
[Jordan] You need
to say more than
three words to her next time.
What makes you think
there will be a next time?
Oh, she'll be back.
There are six things
left in the basket.
[Jordan] You need
to get rid of her.
Look at all of the dust
that she's spreading.
[whistling]
She's an ash whore.
Yeah, please don't refer to
my dead mother as a whore.
Fuckin' shit.
Ooh, that looks expensive.
Please don't touch that.
I said don't touch that.
[Jordan] When was
the last time you played?
-No, no, no. Wait.
-Stop. Stop, stop.
-No, no, whoa, no.
-Put it down.
I will not put this down.
Oh, God.
[strums discordantly]
That's not right.
[strums off-key]
[Benji] If you're supposed to
be me, why do you suck so much?
That's rude.
I've always wanted
to be a rock star.
Have you ever smashed
one of these on stage?
Stop. Dude, what the fuck's
the matter with you?
It's good to see
a guitar in your hands again.
How does it feel?
You know, you're a manipulative
little asshole, you know that?
[Jordan] I said,
"How does it feel?"
Good.
I will make you a deal.
I'll leave you alone
for the rest of the day
if you play me a little bit.
It doesn't even have to be
one of your songs.
[strums guitar softly]
[exhales]
I'm trying my hardest, okay?
It's not an easy situation.
It'll happen when it happens.
You're supposed
to be my friend.
[sighs]
What am I gonna do
about her, Mom?
[sighs]
[Jordan] It's been two weeks
since you've seen Sylvia.
When are you gonna
come up with a plan?
Over. Let it go.
It never even started.
You know,
can you not be a dick tonight?
I feel bad enough
without you psychoanalyzing me.
Then do something about it.
She has a boyfriend.
Doesn't mean
you can't take your shot.
I mean,
even if I did do something,
I can't even leave the house.
What kind of life
would that be for her?
Maybe she's worth
leaving the apartment for.
[scoffs] Please.
If I didn't leave the apartment
to get rid of you,
nothing's gonna blast me
out of this place.
Wow.
You are such a fucking coward.
Just leave me the fuck alone!
Sure, right after you grow up
and realize that your fear
does not come from out there.
It comes from in here.
You know nothing about my fear.
[Jordan] Seriously?
I literally live in your head.
Feel free to leave at any time.
Why? Because I'm making you
face your shitty life?
Hey, I didn't have
a shitty life, okay?
My life was fine
before you showed up.
Really? Is that why you cry
yourself to sleep every night?
-Shut the fuck up.
-You don't have a life.
You have a coping mechanism.
-Shut up.
-You just can't admit
-to yourself that you're...
-Shut up!
-...a fucking coward.
-[shouting] Shut up! Shut up!
[rapid knocking at door]
[knocking]
Hey, it's Sylvia. Are you okay?
[stammers] Yeah, I'm fine.
Okay, great. Can you open
your door so I can make sure
someone's not
holding a gun to your head
and making you say that?
Benji,
I have dialed nine and one.
You cough if you want me
to hit that last one.
Okay. [soft chuckle]
All right. no visible cuts
or bruises, that's good.
Um. I'm sorry, I was just
having a bit of an argument.
[Sylvia] With...
Oh, uh, my-- my dad.
Ooh, yeah.
Parents are the worst, right?
My mom is always
texting me pictures
of her friends' grandkids,
and I'm like,
"I get it, Mom, back off."
[laughs]
Right.
You don't talk much, do you?
N-- No, I-- I don't.
It shows.
I'm-- I-- I don't--
I don't really
leave the house much.
I think-- I'm sorry, that's not
something you need to know.
No, no, that's okay.
That sounds really rough.
Is there a reason?
It's a tough world out there.
Yeah. I get that.
So, where's my welcome basket?
[Benji] Oh. Yeah, right.
Um, sorry. Let me go get that.
No, no, I meant, um,
why haven't you
made me one yet?
Oh, right. Um, yeah.
Uh, I-- I can do that.
Uh, it's just, um,
I-- I--
What should I put in it?
Surprise me.
I don't really like surprises.
Well, lucky for you, I do.
Well, it was good
to see you again, Benji.
Yeah,
it was good to see you too.
-[sighs]
-[Sylvia] It wasn't that bad.
You'll do better next time.
What the fuck, dude?
It worked, didn't it?
[sighs]
Any ideas?
[sighs]
What the fuck am I gonna
put in this thing?
[groans]
Hey, dude?
Where'd you go?
Ah, fu--
Look, buddy,
I need your help, okay?
Fine. I need you, man. Lo--
You're the best ghost
or imaginary friend
or whatever
I've-- I've ever had.
Can you please help me?
[sighs]
I need you, man.
Can't leave me now.
[Jordan belches, grunts]
Fuck.
It took you long enough. Shit.
[Benji] What the fuck, dude?
Where have you been?
Oh, you miss me?
[Benji] You didn't hear
any of that, did you?
[Jordan] How could I?
I was chillin' in the fridge.
Thanks, man.
-Any time.
-[Jordan sighs]
["Brighter Days" by
Logan Pilcher playing]
Okay. Basket time.
Basket time.
[Jordan]
Gonna get a Red Bull first.
-She deserves a big one.
-[Benji] Good shit.
-[Jordan] Get the gummies.
-You know what else?
[Jordan] Gummy bears.
You have good ideas, don't you?
-Nope.
-Here you go.
[Jordan] Obviously no.
Good call. It's cute.
A fork!
[indistinct chatter]
What they say,
they don't know
It's like a paper cut
that seems to grow
Until all that hurt
seems to feel like home
-The crme de la crme.
-Ah!
You're down on your knees
In over your head
All the bad memories
play over again
Good.
You know what the last thing
you need to add is, right?
-[Benji] What?
-Music.
Music is your way
of communicating.
You need to make her a mix.
Of what?
[sighs]
Your favorite songs, dumbass.
And there needs to be
a Tucker Still song on it.
No, I-- I can't.
It's the best way
for her to get to know you.
-But then she'll know.
-She knows you as Benji.
[Benji] That's not a far leap.
For you.
But for her,
she'll never even have a clue.
I mean...
-Fine.
-[Jordan] Great.
And heaven only knows
How far it's really gone
You're down on your knees
With your heart
on your sleeve
And heaven only knows
It's a car crash every day
Your nightmare,
nothing you can say
So you scream out,
but no one hears your cry
Can't remember
when you felt so alone
Nothing left to do
so you go get stoned
Okay.
It's been an hour.
You need to do this.
I don't do too well
leaving the apartment.
It's across
the fucking hallway.
And we watched her leave
a half an hour ago,
so she's not even home.
So you don't need to try to
string any words together.
[sighs] Okay.
[sighs] Okay.
It's across the hall.
-It's across the hall.
-It's across the hall.
Please hurry up.
[panting]
[coughs]
Why the fuck
did you just hold your breath?
I don't know.
I-- I don't know.
Dude, you got issues.
Okay, now that you're a little
less hostile towards me,
I was wondering if we were
gonna talk about this.
Nope.
[video game din]
[Jordan] Okay.
[gentle piano
instrumental playing]
[glass clinks]
Nice!
Um, so, what do you do
for-- for like, a living?
Um, I'm a bartender.
What about you?
Oh, um, uh,
it's kind of complicating.
Um, I mean--
I mean, I'm kind of a writer.
Oh. Uh, nice.
Like, books?
No. Um, more like
websites and stuff.
[Sylvia] Nice.
Anything I would have seen?
[Benji] No.
It's all pretty generic stuff.
Oh, so close.
-[clink]
-Favorite color?
Uh, blue.
[Sylvia chuckles]
Iceland.
Drunken pickle ball.
A penguin in a suit.
-Naked jumping jacks.
-[Sylvia laughs]
Lighting a candle underwater.
[clears throat]
Um, who's that guy that's...
who's always over
at your apartment?
You mean my brother Daniel?
Ohh. He's your brother.
Yeah, he is.
He's had a really rough
go of it, actually. He, um...
Well, my parents
kicked him out of the house
when he came out
when he was 15,
and I said,
"If Daniel goes, I go."
And my parents never
really liked me that much.
You know,
I was always annoying them,
so, no argument there.
So we left.
Um, that sucks.
I'm-- I'm sorry.
It did, for a while.
But it was kind of nice
having our freedom, you know?
And Daniel's
always stood by me.
He's the only one that can
tolerate my extra-ness.
[Benji clears his throat]
[glass clinks]
Biggest accomplishment?
-[Jordan] Platinum record!
-Oh, um, being able to survive
in the house for so long
without, um, going crazy.
-[clink]
-Not quite.
Do you have any friends?
[Benji] Uh...
[sighs] No, not-- not really.
Well, you do now.
That is, until I annoy you
into ghosting me.
So have you really not left
the apartment in five years?
Um-- [clears throat] Yeah.
It doesn't feel
that long, though.
It never does, right?
When one day just kinda
blends into the next.
You make it sound
so depressing.
Isn't it?
[clears throat] Sometimes.
Sometimes, though,
it can feel safe.
It can feel warm.
You know, I'm most creative
when I'm by myself.
Well, what kind of
creative stuff do you do?
Uh, usually just, um, you know,
just writing, stuff like that.
So, what do you do...
for, like, fun?
Wait here.
Um...
Is this supposed to be
some sort of magic trick
or something?
[laughs] No. Better.
-[Benji] Hmm.
-[Sylvia] Okay.
Aces or wild?
[door shuts]
That looked like fun.
[Benji] It really was.
So, are you gonna ask her out?
Isn't that what we just did?
Yeah, that doesn't count.
Plus, you actually have
to leave the apartment
at some point.
[Benji] You know, why do you
have to Eeyore my night?
I'm here for the tough love.
Come on.
I'll help you figure this out.
[sighs] You know
what your problem is?
[sniffs]
Are you drinking ros?
[Benji] Red Bull
and white wine.
You're gross.
[sighs] Go on,
tell me my problem.
You're a nosy bitch and
you're always up in my shit.
I mean,
why do you even care, anyway?
-Because I'm you.
-[Benji] No, no.
-That's not true.
-[scoffs]
Because-- because I don't care.
[Jordan] You obviously do.
You know nothing about me.
I know everything about you.
You know, you always have to
get the last word in, huh?
I can never win
a fight with you.
It's very, very frustrating.
You're only
fighting with yourself.
Somewhere
deep inside your brain,
you are desperate
to leave this place.
Why? Huh? Tell me why.
It's warm.
It's comfortable. It's safe.
Why would I ever want to leave?
[Jordan] You really wanna know?
Bring it on, fucker.
You are a lonely bastard who
buries that loneliness so deep
that you need to create
an imaginary friend
to help you deal with it.
Fuck you.
You know nothing about me.
You seriously want to take
a spin on that block again?
You think you're so smart,
that you know everything.
Huh? Well, you know nothing.
Hey, man, I know you're drunk
and you don't care,
but I really am
just trying to help you.
Well, you suck at it.
[siren wailing in distance]
You know what, fine.
You wanna fall deeper into
your lonely hole until you get
so depressed that you send
a bullet through your brain?
-Do it.
-I'm not depressed.
You don't know what not being
depressed is like anymore.
You've wasted
the last five years
in this goddamn prison,
and for what?
To not deal with
the horrors of the world?
-Exactly.
-[Jordan] Well...
I have news for you.
That when you block out
the horrors of the world,
you block out the good shit,
the shit that makes you happy.
Look at you. Your life sucks.
Fuck you.
All right, fuck you too.
[sighs]
What are we gonna do about him?
You're gettin' fat, Deb.
[knocking at door]
[knocking at door]
-Hi. Hi.
-[Benji] Hi.
[Benji] Oh! I am so sorry.
It's okay, you were
obviously asleep, so...
I-- um-- [clears throat]
Yes, um, we were.
Oh. "We."
-[Benji] Oh, I-- I'm sorry.
-I'm sorry.
-[Benji] I mean me.
-You have someone over--
-[Benji] I was asleep. No--
-No, I'm--
Um, please, uh, come in.
Are you sure?
Um... uh, yes...
-Uh, Sylvia, this is--
-Oh, no, don't do that.
...a surprise.
Yeah, well, I know how
you love surprises, so.
[Benji chuckles]
You, uh, got anything to eat?
Um...
Just talk to her.
-[Benji] Shh.
-[Jordan] She can't hear me.
She can't hear me.
Look. Hi. Hello.
-[Sylvia] Wow.
-She can't hear me.
Your fruit snack game
is strong.
Ah, sorry, that makes me seem
a little psycho, doesn't it?
[chuckles] No! No, I love it.
-[Jordan] She loves it.
-[whispers] Shut up.
-What?
-Oh, it-- it's nothing, sorry.
Are you sure you're okay?
Um, yeah.
Sorry, I'm just a little--
a little hungover.
We didn't drink that much.
[Benji] I had
a little more afterwards.
Uh-oh. You know that
binge drinking alone
is a cry for help, right?
Um, yeah. Yeah.
And that banter
is a team sport?
-[Benji] Right. Um...
-[laughs]
Wait, no, no!
Um, sorry. Um, the social
skills are a little rusty.
[Jordan]
Or did they ever exist?
Shh!
Are you sure that
there's no one else here?
Uh, positive.
Check the whole place.
No, I didn't mean-- I'm sorry.
I'm being extra again, huh?
No, no, no. Um, you're fine.
Well, I just wanted
to stop by and see
if maybe you
wanted to watch a movie later.
[Benji] Um, depends.
-Oof.
-Wrong answer.
Oh. I mean, yes.
Whoa, don't sound too excited.
[laughs]
I'm sorry.
Um, just me and, um...
surprises.
Right, well,
you don't have to do anything.
Okay,
I'll plan the whole thing,
and all you have to do
is be at your door at seven.
[Benji] Uh, we're not
going anywhere, are we?
Oh, my God.
Would I do that to you?
I mean, yeah,
I guess I totally would.
But that's not
what's going on, I promise.
Um, okay.
-"Great. I'm in."
-Great. I'm in.
Great. Tonight.
Seven.
Okay. Um...
-Sounds...
-[Jordan] Lovely.
...lovely.
[Jordan] Okay.
-[door opens, shuts]
-Bye.
[Jordan] You are useless.
[Benji] Goin' on
a date tonight, Mom.
[sighs] Never thought
I'd say that again.
I know we haven't
talked in a while,
but, uh...
I just hope I don't
mess this one up, you know?
You've been there.
Been with me by my side.
I haven't had
the best track record.
[sighs]
[clicks tongue]
Wish me luck.
Love you, Mom.
[under his breath]
I can't do this.
[inhales]
Look,
I don't think I can do this.
I really like you, but I really
can't leave this place.
I just-- [groans]
Oh, okay.
You're great, um,
and it's not you.
It's me.
[groans] I--
[sighs]
Please don't make me do this.
[knocking at door]
Oh, boy.
["The Best Thing"
by Paper Planes playing]
Rainy days
don't seem so wet
Stormy nights don't stay
From the moment
that we met
You were worth the wait
Oh, this could be
the best thing
That I'll ever know
We talked for hours
and never slept
Two silhouettes
on the concrete steps
We watched the sun
as it slowly crept
From the horizon
to the place we met
Oh, this could be
the best thing
That I'll ever know
Are you good?
You see that ship?
-It's the best.
-It's so nice.
[playing upbeat music]
[shaking pill bottle to rhythm]
[laughs] You know, we sound
pretty good together, actually.
[Jordan] Maybe we should
write something.
No, I'm-- No, I can't.
I bet you have
hundreds of these songs
just floating around
in the back of your head.
Don't you pretend
that you don't know that I do.
Yeah, that's a good point.
[Benji sighs]
[drumming]
I hate it when you do that.
[capo squeaks]
[chord strums]
[strums]
I'm proud of you.
Door closed and everything.
Thanks.
That's kind of sad, isn't it?
No, it's great.
Uh... [clears throat]
Uh, do you--
would you like to, uh,
watch a movie
out in the hall tonight?
Actually, not to push you
too hard or anything,
but since now you've
technically left your place
and I've technically
also been inside...
do you think that we could move
our hangouts into your place?
Don't get me wrong,
I love this hallway.
But my ass is starting
to get a little flat
from sitting on
the concrete all the time.
-Um...
-[Jordan] Please, please,
say yes, you fucking coward.
-Are you okay?
-Um, uh, yeah. Um.
Y-- Yes.
We can hang out
at my place tonight.
Great. You won't regret this.
You regret this, don't you?
Um, no, I--
I'm just-- I'm sorry.
This is all, uh--
this is all very new to me.
I'm just, um-- [clears throat]
I have to get used to it.
Well, is there anything
I can do to help?
[sighs]
Actually, could-- could you
just give me one second?
It'll be quick.
Do you take a lot of those?
[Benji] Only when
I get stressed out.
Thanks.
No, no, no, it's--
It's seriously not you,
I just--
[sighs] I'm sorry, I'm just...
going through a lot right now,
um, but I know I can do this.
I really also like
spending time with you.
I like spending time
with you too.
I'm gonna have to
get used to that.
[Benji] Sorry.
[Sylvia] Oh, God. It's okay.
No, it's okay.
It's all right, it's all right.
It's not a big deal, it's fine.
You know, talking to me
like I'm a child doesn't help.
I don't know
what you want me to do, Benji.
Can you cut me some slack?
[whispering] I'm sorry.
It's just--
I'm really
stressed out tonight.
I better go.
I gotta get up early for work.
Well, that's bullshit.
Excuse me.
[Benji] What kind of a bar
opens early in the morning?
-Right. Inventory.
-Oh.
Well, I mean,
you really don't have to go.
No, it's okay. You know,
we'll pick something easier
next time, like a movie.
But I-- I-- Please,
I didn't mean-- I--
That went well.
[Benji] Shut up,
it was a start.
You like her a lot, don't you?
[Benji sighs]
Yeah, well,
she's pretty awesome.
She's definitely
an improvement.
You've had
a pretty crappy track record.
Yup.
Never really been
one with the girls, have I?
[Jordan] No, you have not.
You know, my first girlfriend
had to trick me
into kissing her.
[chuckles] Yeah, Amy.
And don't forget about
the fire starter in college.
-Chloe?
-And then there was Rachel.
Who darted after
I wasn't famous anymore.
-[Benji sighs]
-You have not had
any luck in this department.
No, the only luck
I've ever really had
was with my music, and...
somehow I managed
to fuck that up too.
[chuckles sardonically]
[Jordan] Hey,
if you don't mind me asking,
what happened with that?
You remember Chloe
but you don't remember
what happened with my music?
It might help to talk about it.
I-- Truthfully,
I-- I don't know. You know?
I mean, one minute
I'd written this song
that I was physically
in love with, you know,
and then the next?
The whole world
was in love with it.
I don't know, maybe...
I wasn't ready to share it.
-I don't think that's true.
-I--
[pensive piano instrumental]
[chuckles]
It all just happened so fast.
And before I could even
wrap my head around
recording an album...
you know,
my face was everywhere.
You know,
cameras were following me.
Executives were asking me
for my next album.
-Yeah, that sounds like a lot.
-It was! You know?
Like, I remember
the moment I snapped.
I was leaving after a show,
and instead of my car,
it was a mob of fans.
And they were just
pushing me and shoving
and trying to touch me
and reach their arms
out for selfies and--
[sighs]
Something broke in me.
I've never been so scared.
[scoffs] I couldn't breathe.
I passed out,
next thing I know,
I woke up in the hospital
with this...
irrational fucking anger.
That anger never left.
Any time
I'd feel like that again,
I would just lash out,
become violent.
And people thought
I was fame-crazed.
It was the exact opposite.
And I don't know.
My mind just shut down.
-[Jordan] The freezing onstage.
-Freezing on stage.
Even if I wanted
to come back from that,
how could I?
So-- so naturally,
I just locked myself up
and threw away the fucking key.
[sobs]
[Jordan] I know, buddy.
[music stops]
Are we ever gonna talk
about the fact
that I look like Jordan Tyler?
No.
[sighs]
What do you want me
to say, okay?
He's just some guy.
[Jordan] He's obviously
more than just some guy.
I mean, so he was--
he was good at life.
I sucked at it, you know?
So what?
-[sighs]
-So, jealousy.
More like inadequacy.
No. You know what? Fuck you.
We're done talking
about this, all right?
[sighs]
Just so we're clear.
You sucked at living his life,
not yours.
You know, all this insightful
bullshit's getting old, right?
All right. Dump in that sugar.
-You sure?
-Yes, I'm sure.
Are you kidding me?
This is gonna be so good.
-[Benji] Like that?
-[Sylvia] Yeah.
I made this recipe up.
Dude, you're getting
better at this game now.
-I know, right?
-Just kidding.
-Oh, fuck man.
-Fuck you, dude.
-No.
-Dude.
Fuck you, fuck you.
[shots blasting in video game]
Yup.
-That sounds good.
-That sounds fine.
Is it straight?
Yup.
Nice. Okay.
["Bring It On"
by the Space Doves playing]
What is this?
You shouldn't have.
You are somethin' else,
you know that?
You are so great.
What the hell?
That's exactly what--
What am I doing?
What am I doing?
What are you doing?
-That was a waste of money.
-I--
What the fuck?
Bring it on, yeah
Bring it on
The rain
[Benji breathes deeply]
You got mystic
Rays of light
[TV program playing]
Leads you through
The darkest night
Bathroom.
[phone chimes]
[Sylvia] What the fuck
are you doing with my phone?
It went off. I'm--
Don't look at my shit, okay?
Geez, okay. Um...
Who's-- who's Becky,
and what-- what does she mean?
You know what?
I think it's time for me to go.
No, you-- you don't have to go.
No, no, no, no, it's okay,
I, um-- um-- I'm just tired.
I swear. I'll see you tomorrow.
But--
["Stay" by The Talbott Brothers
playing]
Will you lie here
Under star drowned skies
And look me
In the eyes when I say
These are hard times
[breathing heavily]
[strumming]
[Jordan] That's a new one.
Let's just say I was inspired.
What's it called?
Coward.
[upbeat instrumental playing]
-No?
-Yeah.
[Jordan] Hey!
I was writing that too!
[bright acoustic
guitar playing]
[light vocal music playing]
Yeah. Teamwork.
Dream work.
[Jordan] It's time, buddy.
No fucking way.
[sighs]
You've been social.
You're dating Sylvia.
You're writing
and playing again.
You wrote an awesome song.
It's time
to take the bigger step.
-No.
-Why?
-Because.
-Really?
[Benji] Because
I don't want to.
It was her last wish.
Don't you fucking dare.
You do realize the door
does not need to be open
for me to get in, right?
[Benji] You know,
we're finally getting along.
Why do you want to ruin that?
I am not here
to get along with you.
I'm here
to kick your ass out the door!
I'm making progress, aren't I?
Why can't I do it
at my own pace?
Just to remind you
that I am you
so there's a part of you
that wants to do this.
Yeah, but not
the same part of me that wants
-to get rid of you right now.
-Why are you being so scared?
[grunts] Fuck!
Look, get this through
your thick,
stubborn head, okay?
I'm not ready,
so back the fuck off.
Not ready because you don't
want to leave the apartment
or not ready because
you don't want to say goodbye?
Get the fuck out of my head!
[panting]
Hi. Can I come in?
Um, yeah. Are you sure?
Yes. Please.
Want another beer?
[Sylvia] No,
I'm still working on my first.
Are you sure you're okay?
You seem really tense.
[sighs]
First time
out of the apartment.
Yeah, but you're
just across the hall.
I mean, my apartment's
almost identical to yours.
Unfortunately, that's not
how my brain sees it.
Well, not to encourage
more drunkenness
but what about a game
of drowning fruit snacks?
What's bothering you?
It's, uh, it's my mom.
I thought your mom was dead.
She is, um,
[clears throat]
it's just that, uh...
I, uh-- I have her ashes
on my coffee table.
Oh, I was wondering
what that was.
[sighs] Bit of a long story.
Uh, short version.
[sentimental
piano music playing]
[sighs] I missed her funeral
because I wouldn't
leave the house.
My father informed me
that her final request
was that her ashes be scattered
at our old summer home.
But that would mean
leaving the house.
-[snaps fingers] Right.
-Right.
How long have you
had the ashes?
Three years.
So what's different now?
An annoying
little voice in my head
that's pressuring me
into doing it.
-I could do it for you.
-I'm just not ready.
So what are you gonna do?
Feel guilty.
Hey, I thought it was my turn.
You weren't going.
You forfeited your turn.
So are we ever going to talk
about why you're a shut in?
[clears throat] That's, um--
that's not really something
I care to talk about.
Obviously.
[Benji clears his throat]
Well...
would it help if I, um,
if I told you that
I know you're Tucker Stills?
How?
Wasn't that hard.
I have the Internet.
When? When did you know?
Not right away.
Um, I kind of got my first hint
when I heard
the Tucker Stills song
-that you put on that playlist.
-[Benji whispers] Bastard.
And it sounded
so much like you.
Not just the voice,
but the words.
So a couple of weeks in,
I guess.
So I take it, then,
you read about the, uh--
the photographer.
Yeah.
-About the Chinese restaurant.
-[Sylvia] Oh, yeah.
You think I'm psycho,
don't you?
No. I-- I didn't know what to
believe at first, you know,
'cause the-- the violent,
fame-crazed man they were
describing just did not jive
with the man that I know.
The gentle, quiet, funny man
who's afraid of his own shadow.
But then I read about
the awards and I got it.
I get why you closed
yourself off from the world.
They broke you.
-Who broke me?
-[Sylvia] Everyone.
The press,
the fans, the industry...
the world.
Wow.
No one's ever
put it like that before.
You're right.
They-- they broke me.
S-- so why the fuck have I been
blaming myself all this time?
'Cause the whole world
blamed you.
And it's kinda tough
to argue with the whole world.
Look, Benji, I'm not here to
tell you what's right or wrong
or who to blame
or even how to heal.
I can't possibly imagine
what you've gone through.
[whimpers]
And we can take this
as slow or as fast as you want.
I just want you to know that
even if you never
leave the house again...
-I'm here for you.
-[Benji cries]
You would never be
happy with somebody
who can't leave the house.
But we don't
have to be dating for--
for me to be here
for you, you know?
We don't have to
define anything.
We can just take it day by day
and see if we're friends,
or support systems,
or soulmates.
Whatever it is,
is fine with me.
[Benji sobs]
You know, I pay $200 a session.
My therapist has never
put anything that good.
You should charge.
[chuckles]
[Jordan] Hey.
Sorry about yesterday.
-Nah, you were right.
-Excuse me?
Hey, don't get too excited,
all right, buddy?
But, uh, I think
you're right, it is time.
I don't even know...
how to respond to that.
You don't have to
say anything, just help.
What about Sylvia?
We're cool.
She's helping too.
I don't--
I'm gonna handle my shit.
-I appreciate that.
-Yeah, you should.
It got really hot in here
all of a sudden.
[sentimental guitar
instrumental playing]
How you doin'?
It's hard to know
[panting]
And all these things
just come and go
[dog barks]
I've been close
And here I stand,
nothing to show
[door creaks]
I get lost
Looking for you out there
I can't do this.
It's a process.
You'll get there.
What if I don't
want to get there?
Hey, you don't mean that.
I mean, she's my mom.
Why can't she just
stay with me, you know?
Be with me?
That's not what she wanted.
What about what I want?
Yeah, that doesn't matter
in this case, man.
[panting]
I mean, you know
your mom is dead, right?
Those are just ashes.
[whispers] Holy fuck.
If you're supposed to be me,
why are you so good at life
and I fucking suck at it?
Goddamn.
-No, man. Don't do that.
-Fuck.
-Oh, man, oh, God, oh, God.
-Don't go there.
-You don't suck at life.
-[Benji] Fuck, I can't.
-You're good at your life.
-I can't, I can't, I can't.
Can you say it with me?
-[Benji] I can't-- Fucking sh--
-Hey, stop.
Say it with me,
"I am good at my life."
[mutters] I am good at my life.
You don't sound convinced.
Get up. Come on.
Say it with me.
"I am good at my life."
I am good at my life.
Louder.
I'm good at my life.
Louder. Make me believe.
-I'm fucking good at my life.
-Good. You got this.
-I've got this.
-Good.
Now go find Sylvia and do this.
Good, now go find Sylvia
and do this--
No, fuck.
We are done repeating.
-Oh.
-Go find Sylvia and do this.
-[sighs]
-Fucking moron.
["Made to Fall In Love
with You" by Michael Shynes]
[Sylvia] All right,
let's open the door.
All right.
[door creaks closed]
Relax.
Everybody's walking
toward the tightrope
A little forward, stop.
In a foreign world
Tidal waves
and broken like a starlet
I am drunk
but I'm made for her
I was made
To fall in love with you
I was made
To fall in love with you
Sticking to the roads
that we had left here
Summer eyes
have left this place
And everything
I want to give you
Has been broken
on your phase
I was made
Step down.
To fall in love with you
One more.
Okay.
Taking the blindfold off now.
Wait, wait.
[breathing deeply]
You can do this.
Wow.
How you doing?
It's so beautiful.
It's a good place
for your mom to rest.
[tender piano
instrumental playing]
I'm not sure
I'm ready to do this.
It's not about being ready.
Nobody's ever ready.
It's about deciding
that it's time.
-Do you need my help?
-No.
No.
[sighs]
I can do this.
[breathing heavily]
Well, this is it, Mom.
Thank you--
Thank you for always
being my biggest fan.
[cries]
And for always believing in me.
[sniffling]
I promise
I'll come visit you...
all the time.
[sniffling]
You'll always be with me.
[crying]
[sniffling]
[sobbing]
I love you.
[panting]
Can't believe
I spent so much time...
hiding from all of this.
Jordan was right.
[sighs] I wasted so much time.
Well, now
you can make up for it.
I was lost for so long.
Well, you know,
someone smart once told me
that to get lost
is to find the way.
[sentimental
piano music playing]
Who's Jordan?
-Hey, Benji.
-Yeah?
I need to tell you something.
Okay.
I wasn't completely honest
about the way that we met.
-Okay.
-Oh, my gosh, Sylvia,
I've been waiting for you
for, like, three hours,
-and I definitely ran--
-[Sylvia] Becky, no.
Oh, my gosh.
It's Tucker Stills.
-Oh, my God--
-Benji, I'm so sorry.
You look just like
your pictures,
and that doesn't always happen.
You know what, I am so excited
to meet you in person.
-Becky--
-I'm a huge fan.
-Listen-- No--
-Sylvia has told me
so much about you,
but also, most importantly,
I hope you guys don't mind,
I did bring some friends.
-They really wanna meet you.
-[Sylvia] What? Becky, no.
-I know.
-You guys, please.
[woman] Oh, my God, oh, my God!
-[overlapping excited chatter]
-[shutters clicking]
[Becky] That's my bad.
[car door shuts]
-Benji--
-No.
Okay. Fuck you.
You don't get to talk.
I wanted to tell you.
[Benji] I ju--
What did I just say?
Okay, you used me.
You used me
to get to Tucker Stills.
No, not anymore.
Stay the fuck
away from me, okay?
No, I did try
to find you. I did.
But then I met you
and you were nothing like
I thought you would be,
and I really did fall for you--
No!
Fuck you.
["Call My Number"
by Paper Planes playing]
Call my number
call my name
[over TV speaker] Victory!
If you wander back again
Call my number
call my name
We both know I'm to blame
Call my number
call my name
If you wander back again
Call my number
call my name
We both know I'm to blame
[Benji] A packet
of cigarettes, please.
[clerk] $11.
Thank you very much.
We both know I'm to blame
[receptionist] Mr. Williams.
-[exhales sharply]
-[receptionist] After you.
[Benji] Thanks.
So you really think he's gone?
It's been six months.
You don't sound happy.
I feel more alone now
than when I was shut in.
I mean, Jordan's gone.
My mother's gone.
You know,
Jordan was always with you.
You can visit him
whenever you want.
-The same with your mom.
-It's not the same, though.
Have you seen Sylvia?
Why the fuck
would you ask that?
Hey, what she did was horrible.
But she was the one that
got you to leave the house.
There must be
something good there.
Jordan got me
to leave the house.
Jordan forced you
to look at your life.
Sylvia was the catalyst
for you to leave.
-You should talk to her.
-Why?
She may have a good reason
for what she did.
She may feel bad.
She may actually love you.
[scoffs]
Well, let's focus
on better thing.
You're slowly
rejoining the real world.
You're even doing
that songwriter showcase.
I am very proud of you.
[chuckles] Thanks.
It could be
really good for me, in a way.
I just want to do
what I love without the fame.
Sounds like a good compromise,
and I'm sure people
will be clamoring
-for new Tucker Stills--
-No, no, no.
No more Tucker Stills.
All right?
This time I'm doing this as me.
I think that's very healthy.
Just so long
as I don't freeze on stage.
I'm really nervous
about this, actually.
Just close your eyes
when you're on stage
and imagine you are alone
in your living room.
No, I mean, it's not that.
I mean, it is that, but also...
Jordan won't be
there to see it.
[traffic dim, horns honking]
[guitar plays softly]
I need you, buddy.
Where are you?
[sniffs]
[sighs]
You know,
I never got to say goodbye.
[sniffs]
If it weren't for you, I--
I'd probably still be
in that damn apartment.
And I probably
have would never left.
Of course,
you're a horrible wing man.
I wouldn't have had the balls
to do this without you, buddy.
I miss you.
I love you, man.
-[kiss smacks]
-Cheers, buddy.
[announcer] Welcome
to the Songwriters Showcase,
Benji Williams.
[applause, cheering]
[sighs]
Everyday I'm losing
an uphill battle
Was it all worth it
my moment in the sun
Nowadays I'm afraid
of my own shadow
Believe it or not
I used to be someone
Now I can't stop
The voice
in my head says I'm not
The kind of person
who gets a second chance
Who can catch
lightning in a bottle again
When I'm not
a coward anymore
I'll have the strength
to walk out the door
And face the world
and face the urn
Because this love
is worth fighting for
When I'm not
a coward anymore
I'll pick my courage
of off the floor
And face the world
And take that urn
Because this love
is worth fighting for
Oh
[applause]
[sighs]
[exhales]
[sighs]
[breathes heavily]
[Sylvia] Are you gonna knock
or should I just open it?
Do you want any fruit snacks?
How have you been?
[sighs] All right, I guess.
Can I please apologize to you?
I never meant
for any of this to happen.
[upbeat guitar instrumental]
I was looking for
Tucker Stills,
but then I met you...
and I just felt
so connected to you.
Tucker Stills
or Benji Williams?
Well, it's true,
I was a fan of Tucker Stills...
but now I'm a fan
of Benji Williams.
[chuckles]
Okay, yeah, I heard that as it
was coming out of my mouth.
But seriously,
that's-- that's why I felt
such a connection
to the words in your music.
It was so personal.
And I really, really felt
a connection to the music,
a connection to you.
It's just music.
It's music that you wrote.
[Benji sighs]
Can we start again?
You think you can ever
forget Tucker Stills?
-I can try.
-[Benji chuckles]
So what does that make us?
Friends? Soulmates?
How about support systems?
So, uh...
[thud]
You're not really
a bartender, are you?
I book bands for the Fillmore.
[Benji] Hmm.
That's actually
how we first met.
Um, I didn't
personally book you,
I was doing
marketing at the time
but I was at your show.
And I was working in the back.
And as soon as you
started playing,
I just stopped
what I was doing.
I couldn't focus on anything.
I just sat there listening.
["Start Again"
by Kadesh playing]
Let's just start again
[music explodes]
Oh
Whoa-o-oh, yeah
Let's start again
Uphill, uphill
Start again
Uphill, uphill
Let's start again
Uphill, uphill
Start again
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Whoa
Whoa-o-o, yeah
Yeah
Let's start again
Uphill, uphill
Just start again
Uphill, uphill
Let's start again
Uphill, uphill
Start again
Oh-oh-oh-oh
[music fades]