Love (2024) Movie Script
I do realize that this is very grim news.
But understand that it's treatable.
Your condition is serious,
but it can be treated.
-Right, uhm ...
-Yes?
-Can I ask you something?
-Yes, of course.
The treatment, is it ...
Will I have to ask for sick leave?
Yes. Not right away,
but during treatment.
Treatment, as in pills?
No. Either surgery or radiation therapy,
and both have side effects.
Let me know if I'm going too fast.
Surgery means remove your prostate,
which will result in sterility.
But so would the radiation treatment.
Both treatments
will affect your erectile function.
This can be partially remedied by training,
but your erections
will likely never be the same.
Incontinence is another common side effect,
but many are not affected.
I would recommend surgery.
But in the end, the choice is all yours.
This happens to many men at some point.
If the patient is elderly, we sometimes
choose not to treat it. But you are not.
You should let this sink in for a bit.
Do you have any questions right now?
You can ask me anything.
No.
WEDNESDAY, 6 AUGUS-Can I ask you something?
-Of course.
-I'm not sure if he truly grasped it.
-Really?
-You didn't get the same impression?
-No ...?
Well, it's not uncommon
that the patient is unable to ...
Maybe more so than usual.
He didn't have any questions,
but that's not uncommon.
Next patient?
Please answer.
What did she tell you?
They can't let you leave
with no answers.
-Bjrn Holm?
-What are they supposed to do?
Well, I don't know, but ...
It isn't malignant, is it?
I think so.
I didn't quite catch what she said.
-You didn't ask?
-I must ask for sick leave.
You must ask
until you get a clear answer!
-Please join me.
-Why?
There's someone you need to see.
-I'll go ask.
-No, you don't.
-Yes.
-No.
Can you ask both of them
to come back inside?
-Hi.
-How are you?
SEX / DREAMS / LOVE
DREAMS / LOVE
LOVE
All the art we see here,
tells us something.
I think it's essential that we see
the city hall decorations
as a message to all of us living in Oslo.
And with that in mind, you will see
that the whole building
radiates human values.
That frieze, for instance, displays
different constellations of women
with children.
To the left, a single woman with child.
And next to her,
two women with a child together.
I interpret it as an approvement of both
single mothers and same-sex parenthood.
And in extension, an unequivocal
municipal tribute to homosexuality.
Isn't that wonderful?
This is my friend Marianne, by the way.
Feel free to join us. Let's find some
other good examples on the west wall.
In this country,
we do love sports achievements.
So I love the fact
that the sport they chose
is one which to such a degree
embraces the feminine.
Namely, figure skating!
Here we see the very symbol of Oslo
- the Oslo Girl.
Or the "Oslo Woman",
as I like to call her.
See how she stands there,
watching and listening.
Beholding her city.
I think that's really nice.
On this side, I'd like to show you
these two sculptures
which stand out from the rest.
The Fisherman by Nils Flakstad.
It represents one of Norway's
most important industries.
But we must not forget that the fisherman
is also an ancient symbol of Christ.
Therefore, I love to see this figure as
a loving and forgiving Christ figure
holding his hand in blessing
over the lives of all citizens of Oslo.
And all that encompasses,
of dreams and worries ...
And needs, not least sexual needs, which
I'd like to link to a figure over here.
This is the sole sculpture
which explicitly deals with sexuality.
We see a rendezvous
between three people.
A couple on the right,
single man on the left.
This meeting is tingling
with sexual tension.
Something's clearly going on between the man
on the left and the woman on the right.
But if you study the man on the right,
isn't his gaze also turned
toward the other man?
Now look down at his hands,
folded over his crotch.
What does that signify? Will this end
in a sexual fusion of the three?
A threesome, quite simply?
Such things happen.
People have different sexual needs
and preferences,
which Jesus sees and acknowledges
as part of creation.
What I find especially interesting, is that
such a prominent spot on our town hall's
outer wall has been dedicated to sexuality.
I find that so moving and considerate.
-But ... isn't this a bit narrow?
-How so?
I mean, it seems a bit too niche ...
This is supposed to be the very foundation
of Oslo's 100-year anniversary celebration.
A national celebration.
Flair and party ...
Yes, and we've planned plenty of events
in the city around this theme.
-It should go on for days.
-Yes. It's an ongoing process that we ...
What do you envisage, specifically?
Making a budget is hard
when we don't know what we're working on.
We do have specific suggestions ...
But it won't be just one day.
It's supposed to include everybody.
Absolutely! It's for everybody!
But who's "everybody"?
Isn't "everybody" us?
Many little niches
for women and men and different ...
And together we're everybody.
See you tomorrow.
-Bye.
-Bye.
-That did not go well.
-It did!
No, it didn't go well.
Can we go and have coffee somewhere?
Don't we have to catch the ferry?
We don't have to be at Nesodden for
another two hours. We have plenty of time.
-These were your ideas.
-Yes, my presentation.
Everyone presents their idea,
then we decide together.
There's also a consultancy firm, of course,
who have a proposal.
But it must be based on concern for people.
You think so?
-Me? You think so too.
-I do? How so?
When I applied for this job, you said:
"Working for the municipality
is an opportunity to help people."
-I said that?
-Yes.
-Were you talking about your own job?
-Maybe?
"Maybe" ...
You say such things
without thinking, Marianne.
"When you speak my name,
I go wild with joy
that you know what I'm called."
Remember that you wrote that to me?
Yes, you bet.
It's a quote from Ragnar Hovland.
What made you think of that now?
I don't know,
probably because you said "Marianne".
Tell me more about tonight.
What's happening tonight is ...
I've put together a team
to work out the details.
There's a composer, an architect,
a choreographer ...
And then we're ...
But what about the geologist?
He does know I'm coming?
Yes, of course.
I have a great feeling about it.
Well, it's probably just in my head,
but I think you will hit it off.
Hit it off ...
And it's a nice setting for you
to meet with other people there,
- so it won't be so stiff, you know...
-But I tend to hit it off with many people.
-What, how ...?
-No, I just ...
I kind of lose the ... It just seems
so much more important to you.
-That you meet someone?
-Mm.
No.
No, it's not that.
-No, that's not it.
-No?
It's not like I talk a lot about
missing having a boyfriend, or do I?
No, you don't.
I probably just see it
from my point of view.
I stressed so much about meeting someone.
But you have said that you are open
to meeting someone.
Yes, I am.
But when you say you were so
stressed about not finding someone,
what were you so stressed about?
I don't really know.
You used to love being alone.
Is it the security a relationship brings?
-Maybe ...
-I've been thinking about that a lot.
I don't feel insecure in life.
And neither do you.
No.
Well, I like being married.
I'm simpler than you in that way.
After seven or eight years in that flat,
you decide to buy a bedside table?
It never occurred to me.
Where can I get one?
IKEA, I guess. Or a used one online.
What kind do you want?
It must be a low one that matches the bed.
-You'll need two.
-No.
You can't have a double bed
with a table on one side. That's sad.
Who cares? Why is that sad?
Buying two is not ...
Hi! Are you also going to a party?
-Party?
-More like a get-together.
-Or an inspirational meeting.
-OK. I'm on my way home.
-You live at Nesodden? I had no idea.
-No, I'm not. I'm just borrowing a cabin.
I've been spending the summer there.
-Heidi, my friend, and Tor, my colleague.
-Pleasure.
-Have fun, regardless.
-We will.
-See you tomorrow?
-Sure. Bye.
-Is he a doctor?
-No, a nurse.
-I have to find a mirror.
-I'll just go outside.
Hi!
You can't take for granted
that people actually get what you say.
I've been thinking
about that patient all day.
-I'm so glad you caught that.
-Well, he reminded me of my dad.
-I can be a bit like that, too.
-You can?
Well, I can relate to not daring to ask
in case I make a fool of myself.
-I see. Where are you from?
-Hobl, in stfold county.
-Did you grow up on a farm?
-No, but my mum did.
-I see.
-But they weren't farmers.
They're ordinary folk.
My dad worked in construction.
-And you became a nurse.
-Yes, eventually.
I never imagined that you
were from Hobl, or even stfold.
No? Because I'm so good-looking?
-Do you think you're that good-looking?
-I was joking.
But I have been told by people
when going out.
No, really?
"You're too good-looking
to come from stfold."
-Do people really say that?
-Nah. Or yes, it's happened a few times.
Maybe it's the dialect.
It's hard to be taken seriously.
-You can't tell he's from stfold.
-No.
I try to hide it.
You can't tell that we're
from Dokka either.
-No, I don't think so.
-Dokka? Where's that?
Not far from Gjvik.
Between Gjvik and Fagernes.
-Where's your cabin?
-There it is.
-The small red one?
-Yes, the first one you see.
-Right by the ferry quay.
-Yes.
-Bye.
-Bye.
-Wow, this one?
-Yes.
-What a house! He must be wealthy?
-Wealthy?
-Hi.
-Hi.
How did your presentation go?
Wasn't that today?
-Not good. I didn't get my points across.
-No, it went really well.
I'm sure it did.
You made it sound so great.
I was almost jealous of your ideas.
-Hi. Ole Harald.
-Marianne.
So you're Marianne!
Heidi told us about you.
-You're not part of ...
-No, I'm a doctor.
You just came along?
What will you be serving them?
-Beer and wine. Snacks.
-Have a barbecue! He's so good at it.
None of my business.
Let's go, girls. Daddy has a meeting.
Hey, you ... Just go inside.
The others are already here.
-Let's go home now. Come along.
-No!
We've discussed this.
Daddy has a meeting.
-Please?
-Let go. One, two, three!
These days, the concept "feminism"
has to encompass so much.
Yes, it's been diluted to the point
where it's lost all meaning.
-Hi!
-I'm so glad you could make it.
-All of you. Hi..
-Ismael.
-Heidi. You're the architect?
-Hi. bel.
-Marianne.
-Hi, Anna. Nice to see you again.
-This is Marianne.
-I have nothing to do with this.
Right. I couldn't help but hear
that you were talking about feminism?
I'm curious, do you think we're
preaching to the choir with this project?
-I'm not sure, it depends ...
-It depends how you see it.
My mum called me last night,
and I told her about this.
I told her this was a municipal project.
But she can't relate to feminism.
She says it has nothing to do with her.
She's trying to get home aid,
but can't figure out how to apply.
She calls them, to no avail, which is ...
So you think
we should celebrate the anniversary
by improving public services
and making better web solutions?
-The one does not rule out the other.
-No, not at all.
-Are you employed by the municipality?
-Yes, in the Department of Culture.
And I am project leader
for the anniversary.
-I am a historian by education.
-With a very impressive doctoral thesis.
-Okay, wow!
-I wrote my thesis on fashion history.
-On which subject?
-Per Spook, if you've heard of him?
Hi. This is ...
Yes. Hi.
Right, this is ...
Would you ...? No?
As I said in the email,
I intended this to be
an initial or inspirational meeting.
Very similar words,
I hear that now.
If we start out with the fundamentals,
namely the ground we walk on...
And since I have a good neighbour
who's a geologist
I started to think about it,
and thought that maybe this perspective
could open up some new thoughts.
-I don't know if you ...
-Uhm, yes?
I was planning to say a few words
about the city's geological formation.
And so on.
If that can tempt you?
I suggest we go up on the roof,
where the view is better.
We can see the whole city from there.
Exciting.
-If you just follow me?
-Excellent.
That shirt ...
It's so nice.
-Why, thank you!
-I noticed it too.
I feel some buyer's shame.
It's my most expensive shirt ever.
There's no fence out there,
so please sit down.
I don't want anyone to fall down.
-Can I step here?
-Sure, don't think about it.
-Whose bed are we stepping in?
-It's mine.
-You sleep here?
-I should've changed the sheets.
-No, why?
-No, I just ... I grew up here.
Well, in the old house that used to be here.
My room was here, more or less.
-So this is the boy's room?
-Yes, the boy's bed.
-Is that exciting to you?
-Yes, a little.
-I think it got a little exciting myself.
-It's not the widest.
No, but ... there's room,
if you want there to be.
If you want there to be, there's room.
Right ...
I'd like to start out by saying
that everything is in flux.
Constantly.
Hence, nothing is truly fundamental.
But we do have historical facts.
"The Oslo Cauldron"
derives its name from
the hills of Nordmarka and Ekeberg
which slope down to the lowland,
giving it a cauldron-like shape.
What we call Oslo today,
is made up from three species of stone.
We have the bedrock area,
which consists of hard species
like gneiss and granite.
This area stretches
from stmarka to Ekeberg,
and slopes down to Bunnefjorden.
Then we have "the centre".
That mostly consists of Cambro-Silurian;
softer stone species
like limestone and slate,
and lots of deposit and clay.
And if you look at the surrounding heights,
like Nordmarka and Srkedalen,
we find mostly eruptive species,
like lava and basalt.
These are species of rock
that are "up-going",
as one high school teacher
explained to me.
And all this makes up the topography
which may resemble a cauldron.
I'm not sure it's up to me to interpret
what impact geology has on our lives.
But ... yeah, I think, like, where
you walk, where you put your feet,
but also what surrounds us;
the buildings, for example, or the flora,
it affects us mentally.
I think you can look at it a bit like
the smell of clothes
of someone who doesn't use deodorant
or perfumes or anything like that.
You react to that smell.
It has a personality,
and it can challenge you.
You feel it in your body.
And in the same way,
I think it also impacts our soul.
Yes, we can go back down.
Would anyone like some wine?
-Yes, please.
-Or something else?
Let's go down.
Watch your head.
When the architect mentioned
his mum not getting the help she needs ...
When so many things don't work,
it makes this whole celebration all ...
It's like I haven't thought this through.
That our focus should be elsewhere.
I think you're complicating things.
One thing being important doesn't make
another any less important or interesting.
This keeps happening.
You have this profoundly original idea,
which is all yours,
but then the doubts set in.
-Ida, this won't do.
-It must be exhausting.
You can't run away from mummy.
Let's go home and read a bedtime story.
I get that you need
to think things through.
You had brushed your teeth
and were about to go to bed!
Let's go read a bedtime story.
-Come on, let's go.
-Hi, Solveig.
-Let me help you up.
-I'm fine.
Okay. Where's Oda?
Is she home alone?
Oda is at home with Geir.
They're asleep.
-Come.
-I'm fine.
It's just me who can't sleep.
Let's go home, dear.
-Come.
-She can sleep here. You go home.
-But this is my week.
-No, this is how it'll be.
Solveig, let's walk home together.
I'll go get my purse.
-Everything's fine out here?
-Yes.
You didn't make them anything?
-I'll just leave.
-Bad form, Ole.
We had fish pie, didn't we?
-And white wine.
-How lovely.
I don't like to throw away food.
-Ida, why don't we go home, dear?
-Solveig, let's go.
-I'm leaving too.
-Can I ask you something?
-Of course.
-Both my mum and aunt had cancer.
Yes?
Sorry ...
So I was just wondering ...
Sorry! I'm fine.
I just wondered if you knew of any
correlation between cancer and insomnia?
I've never heard of any conclusive studies.
So don't you worry.
-Come. You'll find your way to the ferry?
-Ida, see you tomorrow. Sleep tight.
-Okay, bye.
-I'll mail you before Wednesday.
-Great. Bye!
-Later.
-Sorry about this.
-No need to apologize.
-Hey there!
-I'd like to talk some more.
-Me too.
-To find out what's your story.
I don't know if I have a story, but ...
Who you are.
Anyhow, I really enjoyed talking to you.
So did I.
Well ...
-Bye, and good luck.
-Bye.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Are you following me?
-Likewise.
Three times in one day?
Where are you headed?
-Out on the town?
-No, not out on the town.
-Okay?
-I'm not going anywhere.
-You're just taking the ferry?
-Yes.
I just take the ferry, back and forth.
I do that sometimes.
How was the party?
Party, well ...
It actually ended rather abruptly.
Oh, that was weird.
I only went because Heidi wants
to set me up with a neighbour.
And that ... Well, he's divorced, and his
ex-wife lives in the house next door.
-Oh well.
-Not your type?
Yes, absolutely.
Maybe. We'll see.
And you just take the ferry
back and forth?
Yes, sometimes when I can't sleep
and I'm feeling restless,
I take the ferry.
Mostly to look for ...
-To look for men, really.
-Okay.
-You know Grindr? Or Tinder, for sure.
-Of course, and I know about Grindr too.
You can see who's on,
and who's nearest in distance.
There's something about being in a confined
space, like a ferry. You can see who's on.
And when you see them on the screen,
you can just look up.
And they could be right in front of you.
-Is anyone on tonight?
-No, not right now.
-But it does happen?
-Absolutely. Often.
Okay, then what do you do?
Nothing at all, sometimes.
Maybe just exchange glances.
-Or we go out on deck.
-And have sex?
Yes?
Mostly, we just talk.
Maybe we arrange something.
For me, it's mostly about the thrill.
Meeting someone's gaze
and realizing that we're both "on".
But have you ever
had sex on the Nesodden ferry?
A few times. But the trip is so short
that you can only do so much.
Right.
-It's a bit like cruising.
-Cruising, what's that?
You have no idea?
It's about going to
certain places for casual sex.
There are many cruising spots.
Often secluded parts of parks or woods,
- where men go to meet other men.
-And have sex.
Yes.
But not just that.
On this boat, we mostly just talk.
And sometimes,
when you're cruising in a park,
you sit down and talk
after having sex.
And there's something
about that post-sex talk.
Because these are people
you don't know anything about.
You may not know their name.
Maybe you never will.
And being on neutral ground
creates this ...
- strange, yet pleasant closeness.
-Right.
Which makes opening up feel so natural.
-What do you talk about?
-Anything. These are all kinds of people.
Some are still in the closet.
And some don't see themselves as gay at all.
They just enjoy sex with men.
And some are very sad
and ridden with guilt.
Maybe they've snuck out of family dinners
or children's parties
and need to talk about it.
Some just want to talk about coming out.
-But you're out, right?
-Me? Yes.
To me, it was easy.
But you hear these crazy stories.
Parents cutting all contact.
Sheer evil.
Tonight, that guy
I was being set up with, he ...
He isn't really the type of guy
I'd even consider.
Then we went out on his roof.
He wanted to show us something.
And out there, I suddenly felt
this overwhelming closeness.
And I couldn't control my hands.
I grabbed his butt.
-How did he react?
-I've never done anything of the like.
How he reacted?
Well, he was surprised. As was I.
-But I think he liked it.
-Did you like it?
-Yes, I liked it.
-Okay ...
What kind of guy is he?
He's kind of sly, warm and cheeky,
all at once.
And what kind of men turn you on?
I have no idea.
It feels completely unpredictable.
And you? What turns you on?
-A certain type of skin, I think.
-Okay?
It's pretty hard to explain.
I can get turned on by ... sweat.
The skin on the inner thighs,
when it's sweaty ...
Okay ...
I can get turned on
by all sorts of things.
Are you going to see him again?
That Nesodden guy?
Yes ... Yes?
Or no? I don't ...
I don't know.
These things always get so complicated.
I wish I could've had sex with him tonight,
and never seen him again.
Because you're not
looking for a relationship?
Yes and no ...
-Do you have a bedside table?
-Bedside table?
Yes, two of them. I keep them in a storage
unit while I'm staying at the cabin.
Why do you ask?
-You're getting off here?
-Mm. You're staying on?
Good luck.
-Thanks.
-Bye.
Hi.
Hi.
Had a nice evening so far?
Nice evening?
I've been working.
-And now? Going home to your partner?
-No.
No, there's no partner.
-Why were you working so late?
-I had a patient.
-I'm a psychologist.
-Wow!
Right?
I think so too.
Wow.
Well, what's it like?
Right now, it feels like working
in a factory. Assembly-line work.
In what way?
In what way ...
I mean ...
If you have grown up
with the expectation that nothing in life
should ever be painful or challenging,
you'll break down
at the slightest hint of adversity.
You'll think
having a bad day is not normal.
And that you need treatment.
It almost feels wrong to say it,
but I ...
Sometimes, I just want to tell them
to pull themselves together.
It'd be so much cheaper.
Okay ...
I saw you on Grindr.
-I'm not really that interested in ...
-I can leave.
Not at all, feel free to stay.
Other than that,
are you looking for a partner or just sex?
-"Just" sex? Nothing's "just" sex.
-No?
Well, no ...
I don't think so. Not to most, anyhow.
But you're perhaps someone
who has a lot of sex?
Yes.
I guess I ... Yes.
-With many different partners?
-Yes.
-No steady partner?
-No, I ...
-I'll sit over here, if that's okay.
-Okay.
I'm fine with not having a steady partner.
What's it like, then?
Having sex, nowadays?
Well, it's ...
Are you joking?
-No.
-No?
What's it like to have sex nowadays ...
It's good.
What do you mean, exactly?
I don't know ...
Do you feel safe?
Safe? Yes.
But no, not everyone does.
Some bodies are so tense
that you can see how hard they try
to squeeze out anything at all.
Whether it's semen or emotions.
-But they might have watched a lot of porn.
-Right. So you wouldn't recommend that?
Porn? Sure.
It could help you discover what you like,
if nothing else.
Kinky stuff?
Kinky ...
What's kinky, then?
Isn't that mostly up here?
I don't know.
I think most things can be nice.
I can enjoy
getting fucked by many men at once.
Or get peed on.
I think both can be very arousing.
But when it does happen,
I don't think of it as kinky.
-No?
-Just good.
Or nice.
But maybe that's what you mean by kinky?
No, I ...
I don't know.
You're not interested in anything?
Neither sex nor boyfriend?
As if they are opposites?
Don't most people want both?
Both many sex partners
and someone who loves you exclusively?
-Isn't that the dilemma?
-It doesn't have to be.
I'm so thoughtless.
I haven't asked you what you do.
Or if you've had a nice evening,
or anything.
I'm sorry about that.
That was really rude.
I'm not normally this self-absorbed.
It was really kind of you to come over.
I appreciated that, just so you know.
But we're almost there now.
-I think I'll head back inside.
-Sure.
You have a nice evening.
What's your name?
-It's Bjrn.
-Bjrn ...
My name's Tor.
I see.
Goodbye, Tor.
Goodbye, Bjrn.
Am I going to die?
No, you're not going to die.
It's just that ...
I don't feel like someone who gets cancer.
No ...
I realize that this is very painful news.
But you came to me early.
You came here early.
-You'll be just fine.
-Yes ...
The prognosis is excellent.
Keep that in mind.
But you did tell me
that I must undergo treatment?
We'll find you the best treatment.
That'd be either chemotherapy,
radiation, or surgery, right?
Most probably, yes.
I can't ...
I can't do that!
I can't be that bald guy on television
speaking out about it.
But you won't have to do that.
-No, nobody has to do that.
-I'm not like that!
THURSDAY, 14 AUGUSI think he is like that.
It says here that he's a standup comedian.
Have you heard of him?
-Yes. Do you find it hard to have empathy?
-No, I don't.
I have lots of empathy for him.
But this will benefit him financially.
He'll get lots of sympathy on Instagram,
write books ...
But in a way that's good.
It might help others.
But he'll be yet another successful example
of how to cope with illness.
It could make others feel like failures
for not coping quite as well.
-I see.
-Who knows. Going to lunch?
No, I'm taking time off.
Josef is stepping in for me. There he is.
-Hi.
-A "Joel" tried to reach you just now.
-Joel?
-Personal. He wanted you to call him back.
Could it have been "Hoel"?
Ole Harald Hoel?
I couldn't hear.
-I'll make a quick call.
-Sure. I'm off.
-All right. Bye.
-Bye.
-Someone you know?
-Perhaps?
Hi! Do you recognize me?
-From the boat?
-Yeah.
On your way home?
Is something wrong?
Hey ... Let me see.
-Can you breathe?
-I don't know what's wrong.
Can you raise your arm?
Hey, can you raise your arm?
Okay, good.
-I'm fine.
-Look at me.
It does look like something's wrong.
Did you get bad news?
-I'm fine.
-Yes?
Thank you.
-Hey ...
-Listen, I'm fine.
-Are you sure?
-Yes, completely.
"I have an innate love for humanity.
For all humans.
And compassion, too.
I don't think
I'm cut out for having only one man.
It feels almost childish
to love just one human being.
I could never be faithful either.
Not because of other men,
but because I consist of so many people."
Which book is it?
It is a diary.
Etty Hillesum is her name.
Was her name.
I'm reading her diaries and letters.
I read that last one on my way here.
I like it so much.
-Do you think it's for me?
-I don't know.
You can borrow it when I'm done.
-What are you reading? If anything?
-I mostly read scientific literature.
I'm not that fond of stories.
"Then this happened,
then this happened ..."
-It doesn't feel real to me.
-True. A diary is different, though.
It is inherently unpredictable, and
consists of things both past and present.
It has no retroactive logic.
I mostly read about rocks.
I write about rocks too.
I think I write more than I read.
-I see.
-I usually sit in that chair.
-And write.
-About rocks.
About rocks.
With a blanket over me.
Give it a try.
It's very comfy.
Thanks.
So this is where you sit
with your laptop and write?
Well, I mostly write by hand.
Really?
It occurred to me that you never see
anyone's handwriting anymore.
Well, this is mine.
What do you think?
"I think it looks stern.
This is mine."
Thank you. It looks ...
... old-fashioned?
-Oh well.
-But I must apologize.
I was planning to make you dinner.
I am fond of cooking.
But things didn't go as planned today.
Supper was great.
But ...
Urologist ...?
Yes, urologist.
I was thinking ...
The abdomen,
this part of the body, it is ...
... what we think of as the most intimate.
It can be a source of pleasure.
But we also associate it with urination,
defecation, things people find repulsive.
Therefore it has become associated with
shame whether the area works or not.
-But ... geologist?
-Yes.
-Pray tell.
-Well ...
Many become geologists
to work in the petroleum industry.
That may have been my goal too,
before I started.
Before I realized what stone is.
-Before you grew fond of stone.
-Yes ... Yes?
At this point, stone may be
the most important thing in my life.
And I can ...
I can hear stones sing.
If I ...
... and I love to do this ...
... if I lie down on rock
or on a knoll by the sea ...
and press my ear against the rock,
I can hear it.
There's no magical thinking involved.
It's just a combination
of the physical sensation
of stone against skin,
and everything I know about the stone.
I guess it's a merging of
knowledge and physical sensation
that gives the feeling of a living pulse.
This is something I can hear,
but it applies to you as well.
You can hear it too.
It is ...
It applies equally to you.
When I started my master's degree,
I had a friend make me
a model of Oslo's topography.
That was the first time
I discovered the poetic aspect of...
I'd love to see that model.
-Well, I have it still.
-No, really?
Yes?
Yes, yes.
Wow!
-Pretty big!
-Yes.
-Nice, right?
-Very nice!
I love that the different species
have different colours.
You get a sense of their properties.
-What's that?
-That's shale.
And that over here?
Limestone.
What's on your mind?
Your skin.
I like it a lot.
And I love that you're so passionate
about your profession.
Yes? I care about other things too.
What I love most in the whole world,
is spending time with my daughters.
They're the most
important thing in my life.
Didn't you just say that it was rocks?
What's it going to be, rocks or kids?
Both.
It's not like you have to pick one.
It's just language
tricking us into thinking like that.
What?
I'm just listening to you.
I think you might like this book.
Could it be
that you'd like to spend the night?
Yes, I'd love that.
But I don't think I will.
I think I'm going to leave.
-Would it be okay if I sat down here?
-Sure.
-Well ...
-Yes?
-Yes ...
-What brings you here, to this boat?
I've been visiting someone.
Now I'm going home.
-Who did you visit?
-A friend.
-Dinner?
-Supper.
"Supper on Nesodden"?
Sounds like a folk album.
Candles, harmonica ...
-Conspiracy theories.
-Sure. I like folk music.
Sure. So do I.
And you? Have you been working?
I'm renovating a house.
I've been laying flooring all day.
Dammit.
-It was supposed to rain today.
-Is it a shame that it didn't?
It's nice to go swimming when it rains.
When I'm done for the day,
I usually go for a swim.
The people I work for
have a swimming area.
-Don't you like to swim?
-I love to swim.
What do you do
when you're not out swimming?
Not much.
-I do crossword puzzles.
-Crossword puzzles?
-You too?
-No. I read.
Oh, I see.
You like words
that follow each other in a sequence?
-Sure.
-I see. I prefer them a bit more jumbled.
-A sort of chaos I have to make sense of.
-Right.
You have really nice bangs.
-Thank you.
-May I ...
Do you know what we could've done,
if we had a car?
We could've driven to Paradise Bay,
gone for a swim and then made love.
We could have done that.
We could indeed.
But ... there are other places
than Paradise Bay.
Are you laughing?
Did you find that funny?
I'm just very glad I met you.
I haven't done this before.
-At least not this spontaneously. Have you?
-Yes, sure. Or ... yes.
Pretty often, actually.
Or well, it depends.
Right now, my wife is away
visiting her parents. Her father is sick.
Which gives me more time to myself.
-Right. You're married?
-Sure. You are not?
-No.
-I kind of assumed we both were.
-Oh.
-Okay.
Well, fine.
You do look married.
Did that surprise you?
You look surprised.
Married and surprised?
Yes, maybe a little surprised.
Mostly that you're on Tinder
when you're married.
-Aren't you afraid your wife will find out?
-She's not on Tinder, is she?
-I don't know. But her friends, perhaps.
-No, no.
You may not believe me,
but I truly love my wife.
We've been married for 20 years.
We'll be together in Voss this weekend.
-You're from Voss?
-Yes. Me and my wife both.
I grew up in a place with half a kilometre
between the house and the mailbox.
That does something to you.
You can't imagine the expectations
that build up on that walk.
-I'm from Dokka.
-Sure. Then you get what I mean.
I guess your mailbox
was pretty far away too.
-Not half a kilometre.
-No, but you get my drift.
Then you also get
that there's no connection
between expectations
and the life you get.
But you're not married?
No? Okay.
Well, if you say so.
You know best.
I did feel that there was
something different about you.
I don't know about you, but most
unmarried women expect something more.
They may not admit it, but ...
I have this friend, and we
strongly disagree on this, but he ...
He thinks of every woman
he meets on Tinder as a whore.
I have never been with
or visited a whore.
He has, before Tinder.
But not me.
He told me that to him,
Tinder is a "free brothel".
And in one way, it is.
But not only that.
Because I see a lot of women
who are whoring themselves up,
but who have high expectations of something
else that is impossible to live up to.
And that just makes me feel guilty.
And that's why I ... No.
I believe that if you're married,
your expectations are lower.
And that ...
-Did that come out wrong?
-Not at all.
Don't you feel guilty towards your wife?
Of course I do.
Extremely.
Of course I feel guilty,
but that's completely different!
You probably think
I'm the biggest asshole on the planet.
But I have so much sex in me.
And I ...
I'm so fond of people!
People are ...
You seem like a nice person,
and what we just shared ...
That's something wholly different than ...
Than with someone else.
So I think,
why does it have to be so wrong?
Of course my conscience is bad.
I think you ruined this a little.
-How so? Did I say something wrong?
-No, I just ...
I think I should head home.
You don't really know me.
But I am ...
I am a good guy.
Yes, I truly believe you are.
You are a good guy.
Absolutely. But ...
Can't you stay for a bit?
You seem so tense.
No, I ... I'll head home.
-Thank you for tonight. It was nice.
-Thank you.
Goodbye.
SUNDAY, 17 AUGUSMONDAY, 18 AUGUSDid he really say
that Tinder is like a free brothel?
-Yes.
-What does that make you? A whore?
Yes, or him.
I didn't have different intentions.
I just wanted to have sex with him.
We wanted the same thing,
so that's what happened.
Afterwards, he said things
no woman would've said.
But I'm not sure that makes him
a bad person, morally.
Well, he was married.
Maybe I wouldn't have slept with him
if I'd known.
-It really gets to me.
-What does?
That you go straight
from making out with Ole Harald
to having sex with a random stranger
by the docks.
It really was completely unproblematic.
It just made me really happy.
It felt so free, in a way.
A casual closeness to a stranger
can feel really nice.
You say that like you've never had
casual sex before, but you have.
It may have been
the situation - meeting on the ferry.
It was much more non-committal than a date.
It's not like arranging to meet via Tinder,
or sitting down in a bar,
which feels like more of a transaction.
No, it was simply a free space.
We met on equal terms.
-Am I boring you?
-No, but you have to wear ...
Put them in,
because they're about to ...
-Hi.
-Hi. I checked out the halls.
And they're nice enough, but
it would be much nicer to do it up here.
With a sound system,
people can experience it all over town.
-Has the project been approved?
-No.
-It looks like it'll get voted down.
-Voted down? Why? When?
This morning. I was going to tell you,
but then you gave me that sex story.
We want to do something regardless.
A stunt up here, a filmed concert.
It could be really nice.
We'll have to see what we can afford.
It hasn't been settled just yet.
Right now, there is
a lot of interest for a project involving
Knausgrd curating an exhibition about
artists during World War II. Partisan art.
I'll go talk to the carillonist,
and come back up later.
I worked so hard on this.
It gave me so much energy.
And now I have to work
with Knausgrd and World War II?
I feel miserable and dry on the inside.
I just want to quit.
You can't quit.
I'm put out by the things you're doing, too.
I can't get over it, Marianne.
Straight from making out with the geologist
to having sex with the carpenter!
-You, the most responsible person I know!
-You think it's irresponsible?
-I don't know.
-I don't think it was.
I think my morals are really strict.
They're just not about sex,
but rather how we treat each other.
This is exactly what you articulated so well
during the Town Hall tour!
You talked about freedom,
about sexual freedom ...
Yes, and a lot of that comes from you.
It was all about you.
Surely you realized?
-You do things that I could never do.
-But would you have liked to?
Oh, I don't know.
I guess I feel threatened by it,
in some way.
That freedom of yours.
That transgressive behaviour.
What does that make me?
Some timid, subdued,
boring person, afraid to live life?
-It's not about that, Heidi.
-I do know that, deep down.
But when I talk to you, I think like that.
You make me think like that.
That doesn't mean my life is boring,
even though I don't sleep
with random carpenters.
Sleeping with that carpenter doesn't make
me all free-spirited and my life wonderful.
I'm not even that interested in sex.
It just happened, as with anything else,
and I enjoyed it a lot.
Fine. But things get complicated for me with
regards to Ole Harald too. He's a friend!
I met him on the ferry. He'd had a wonderful
time and looked forward to calling you.
No, really?
That's so nice to hear!
Heidi, I like him a lot.
I think he's wonderful.
-What are you saying? You'll see him again?
-I may, who knows?
But I'm quite sure
that we won't become a couple.
That became clear when he said
his girls were most important of all.
-Why? Do you want to be most important?
-No, of course not.
It just struck me
how complicated this is.
His daughters should be
the most important thing in his life.
But they may not feel that way
if someone else enters their life.
-You can't think like that, Marianne.
-No? I'm a child of divorce myself.
Not thinking about the children
would be really self-centred!
If I start dating Ole Harald,
I must get involved in his life.
Isn't that a good thing, getting involved
in someone's life? The kids will love you.
Yes, maybe so, but ...
Getting involved means
taking on responsibility.
And that family has problems.
Two insecure kids
and a next-door ex-wife who drinks.
You think Solveig has a drinking problem?
-Yes.
-I don't think so.
That was typical alcoholic behaviour.
Reminded me of Dad.
Well, if you see all this,
the insecure children and ...
-Isn't that exactly when ...
-... one should get involved? No.
I'm not right for that responsibility.
The responsible move is to stay away.
That's just cynical, Marianne.
-I think getting involved is more cynical.
-No. No!
I feel at the bottom of my heart
that you're wrong.
If I should get involved, it would be
with Solveig. She needs it the most.
FRIDAY, 22 AUGUSYou're checking surgery schedules?
-Can I ask you something?
-Yes.
Is it okay to go by the ward and say hello
to a patient who just had surgery?
Is it someone you know,
or has he been here?
Well, he has, but ...
-I mean someone you've to do with.
-No, not here.
And I don't know him, not like ...
I met him for the first time on the ferry.
First on Grindr, then on deck.
Nothing happened, we just talked,
then he kissed me on the cheek.
But that was all.
And he's aware that I work here.
Okay. I don't know what to say.
-Why visit him? Are you interested?
-No! No ...
-No.
-No?
I just wanted to check up on him.
Out of kindness, really.
But if that could be misinterpreted ...
Do you think it's fine to say yes
to a dinner invitation
from a guy I'm pretty sure
I don't want to get involved with?
Well, as long as you don't
give him the wrong impre...
-You probably do that just by saying yes.
-That's the thing.
Well ...
-Visit as a nurse on duty. Not as you.
-Okay.
Hi, Carina.
I'm just checking up on a patient.
You do that.
Hi. I'm just checking up
on your neighbour.
Hi. I just thought I'd check up on ...
I can't find the charger for my phone.
Is it this one?
Oh, there it is.
Can you plug it in for me?
-Thank you.
-I'll leave it there.
I heard you had surgery yesterday,
and that it went well?
Well, the prostate is gone.
-Hope they got everything.
-Yes, let's hope that.
How did you know I was here?
Well, I work here.
I just checked the surgery schedule.
-You don't know my name.
-That wasn't hard to find out.
I know that your name is Bjrn, and I met
you in the corridor after your appointment.
I've thought so much about you
after our last meeting.
-I shouldn't have left you like that.
-Oh. Don't think about it.
-I could tell how distressed you were.
-I just didn't want any company.
-I get that.
-Yes.
In any case,
it's great that you got the surgery so soon.
-Yes, that was wonderful.
-How do you feel now?
Not bad,
except that I feel really bloated.
That's the worst part.
That happens when they inflate
your abdomen for the keyhole surgery.
You have to walk it off.
Fart it out.
-Yeah, so they tell me.
-Do you want to take a walk now?
-Now?
-Sure, I can walk with you.
-Listen, it's no ...
-Come on.
-I don't think I can stand up.
-I can help you. Is this yours?
Yes, but ...
-Let's do that.
-Careful with that one.
Thank you.
-And the other one.
-Yes. There.
-There we go.
-Please hold this.
Sure. The wheels are locked.
-There. Ready?
-Yes.
Okay.
-A little further.
-I think I want to go back. Yes.
-Okay?
-Okay.
There.
That went well.
I don't know about that.
-When are they discharging you?
-The day after tomorrow, I think.
-Can't be right.
-It probably is.
-This'll go faster than you think.
-You think so?
Yes.
I was thinking ...
You do have someone to help you?
With shopping and such.
You must avoid
heavy lifting for a few weeks.
-I have friends.
-Of course you do.
-A friend said she'd help me. I'll be fine.
-Okay, good.
What's your number?
90-25-22-13.
You don't have to ...
-Now you have my number too.
-Okay.
In case you need help
with grocery shopping, or anything.
Just call me.
I mean it.
We both live on Nesodden, after all.
If you'd been living in Sarpsborg,
I wouldn't have bothered.
-Remember to walk, so you pass the gas.
-I'll do my best.
-Thank you so much.
-You're welcome.
It was so nice of you
to check in on me.
To offer me help and everything.
Goodbye, Bjrn.
-You're headed home to Nesodden?
-Yes.
That's the plan.
Maybe I'll have a coffee on the way.
Or maybe a half-pint before the ferry.
You have no idea how lucky you are.
How fabulous that sounds
when you can't have it.
Just sit down somewhere
and have a coffee.
Watch the people.
BJRN
Who are you, really?
TOR
Tor :)
BJRN
That won't cut it for a shrink.
BJRN
I might take you up on your help offer.
TOR
Good :)
MONDAY, 25 AUGUS-Have you seen Elvestad?
-The patient is there already.
Excuse me.
I had a clear agreement with Egil.
I find this odd.
We had dinner this weekend,
and he said ... He promised ...
-Well, you've been appointed to me.
-Appointed to...?
If you'd like, I can check ...
-Have you seen Syland?
-Isn't he in the operating room?
I thought so, but this patient
had an appointment with him.
There must've been an error.
This is very unfortunate.
-Can't you page him?
-Not while he's in surgery.
-But I have your test results here.
-No, no. You want them from Egil.
Perhaps you could page him?
-I can check if he is indeed in surgery.
-Good.
We were having the surgery done in Hamburg.
-Since that clinic is the very best.
-As I'm sure you know.
-Except for Copenhagen.
-They are also very good.
But while talking to Hamburg,
I mentioned that we know Egil.
They said: "Why come to Hamburg,
when one of Europe's best is in Norway?"
The funny thing is that Egil's uncle,
Hkon Syland, treated my father.
Not for the same condition.
He was a heart surgeon.
And his cabin was next to my parents,
up by Mysuseter.
-I see. What a coincidence.
-Right?
Egil is an outstanding surgeon, of course.
He finished just now. He'll be down in ...
They were slightly delayed.
He'll be down in ten minutes.
Thank you.
-Sverre's father lived to be 105.
-He's gone now.
He passed away this spring, but he was
spry and sharp until the very end.
-Yes, he was.
-Few are that fortunate.
-True, and his brother is still alive.
-Not my brother. My uncle.
Yes, his uncle.
Well, he's gay, but ...
It's a shame,
since he has no heir, but ...
He's spry, absolutely.
We grow very old in our family.
-Yes ...
-Yes, we do.
105?! Some people are so unlikeable that
you want to shower after talking to them.
Were you offended?
She's afraid of losing her partner,
like everyone else. Afraid of death.
-You were not offended?
-Because he didn't want me to examine him?
Egil speaks their language.
I understand them well.
Another thing ...
Did you visit that Grindr friend of yours?
Yes, I did drop by.
I offered to help out
with grocery shopping.
That's borderline, you do get that?
You can't offer home nursing
to people you meet on Grindr.
It's none of my business,
but it goes for me as well.
I can't give someone special service
because our parents are cabin neighbours.
-No ...
-No. And another thing.
If this was some girl you'd met on Tinder,
I'd say no in a heartbeat.
But now I don't,
which is confusing to me.
Is it because both of you are men
that I become all ...
In any case,
this is a vulnerable patient, so I think ...
No, it ...
I'm not doing this to hit on him.
-I'm not interested.
-It's none of my business.
And I don't think
I'm sending mixed signals.
I'm just thinking that helping someone
buy groceries has to be okay, right?
No, you're probably right.
-Of course you're right. But listen ...
-What?
Something I've been thinking about,
which I must say. On a different note. Okay?
This has nothing to do with Grindr,
but it's something I often think about.
We do get a lot of gay patients.
I'm sure I spot them more than you do.
I can tell at once,
and what I see is that ...
Because I know the consequences
of that diagnosis for those men.
And that is something you never tell them.
You mention erectile dysfunction
and sterility,
but you hardly mention
how removing the prostate affects the sex.
You don't just lose your erection,
you also lose the ...
When you have anal sex, if someone
takes me from behind, to put it bluntly,
they press their cock against my prostate.
Which feels really nice.
It is a very large part
of the pleasure which ...
Which is lost
when you remove the prostate.
And that's just ...
I guess I feel more compassion
for gay men than for others.
I know what it actually means,
in practice.
It is a double loss, in a way.
This has never crossed my mind.
I'm sorry.
That's fine.
-And it's totally unrelated, it's just ...
-No, no.
I've thought about it so much
that I just had to say it.
I'm very glad you did.
Thank you.
Now it's been said.
TUESDAY, 26 AUGUSMy friend was supposed to help me,
but she had to take her dog to the vet.
-The one helping you with groceries?
-She'll do it tomorrow instead.
-But then you won't have anything tonight.
-That's fine.
Then I'll take you home,
and afterwards I'll go shop for you.
-No, no. You really don't have to.
-It's fine. Truly.
-Is your catheter all good?
-It's very uncomfortable, but ...
-Is it fastened well?
-It's there.
Hey ...
It's far from full.
They did show you how to drain it?
-And you got some diapers too?
-Yes.
-Did you get a prescription?
-All kinds of prescriptions. For Viagra!
-That's to help regain your erections.
-I am aware.
-Did it bother you to hear about it?
-Yes, I would say that.
They mean well, though.
It's good that they've talked about it.
It's important.
You just have to do it at your own pace.
I think we should go.
We focus on making
the patients well again.
We don't really have the capacity
for dealing with the sorrow
some may feel after surgery.
The fact that someone has invaded your
body and removed or adjusted something,
can feel like ...
Well, maybe not a violation,
but more of a forced entry, perhaps.
You wake up,
and your body feels completely different.
Some feel a sense of loss.
We can't change that,
but we'd be wise to acknowledge
that some may feel sorrow.
And that sorrow may need time to heal,
and perhaps turn into something else.
-Something else?
-Yes.
I'm not sure, but what I've learned,
is that the body is a battlefield.
We gain from taking that to heart,
taking things in stride
and not fight them.
That doesn't just go for disease.
It goes for sexuality too.
My first wife had cancer.
It was before we met.
How many times have you been married?
-Two.
-Oh.
Have you never thought about
getting married and having kids?
No.
I think I could marry again.
What makes you think
that it would work the third time?
-You think that when you're in love.
-But you've seen how that can change.
I just don't get why people
feel that need to get married.
If there is love, and you want
to be together, isn't that enough?
-There's something about making that vow.
-Which you have broken twice,
and yet you're willing
to promise it a third time?
So marriage starts with a great big lie.
And everybody knows that a lie
is a shaky foundation to build anything on.
As I see it, that makes marriage
a kind of production unit
where the primary purpose
is having children.
-That's how you see it?
-Yes.
That's basically what it is.
It starts as a joint project,
but ultimately it falls on the children
to take over the project when the parents
no longer can or will invest any more in it.
They can break up and start fresh,
but the kids are stuck with that marriage
for the rest of their lives.
-I'm sorry.
-You just tell it like it is.
I just get full of bad conscience.
But that's okay.
That's how I always feel.
Do you?
Yes, always.
I should never ask you
to marry me, then?
That's fine.
I will never do that.
Thank you.
I promise. But ...
Is it all right if I say ...
that I'm in love?
That's all right.
You can say that.
Are you always like this?
So kind?
Always.
Life is too short, you know.
Bjrn, your bag ...
I think it needs draining.
Oops. You're right.
-Need a hand?
-No, no.
No! Oh no ...
I'll be fine.
Please don't come in.
-Hey, I can ...
-I'll be fine.
-Do you have a bucket?
-Out in the kitchen.
-Underneath the worktop.
-Okay.
-Who are the people in the photos?
-Dag Hammarskjld took that one.
-It's good.
-Yes. I think it's touching.
The other one is of Palme.
Subtle homoeroticism.
-You didn't get much sleep in the hospital.
-No.
I haven't slept much since the surgery.
I've been lying awake, thinking.
About what?
About everything, really.
How pointless it has been.
Pointless?
Do you really think so?
It feels awful to say it,
but it's really starting to dawn on me.
The morning of my surgery,
I was listening to the news on the radio.
They said an HIV vaccine
would soon be available.
Yes?
The pandemic gave them an opportunity
to test the mRNA technology.
Yes, I heard.
Isn't that great?
Sure, but that very day ...
"The irony of fate",
isn't that what it's called?
Just after I came out of the closet
in the summer of 1986 ...
Before I was born.
-Really?
-Yes.
Soon after
I saw this TV documentary on AIDS.
It was like a horror movie! They said
what they usually said back then.
That AIDS was a terrible and deadly disease
that mostly affected gay men.
And I felt that I was being punished,
sort of, for daring to come out.
That it served me right.
That changed everything for me.
It scared me deeply.
If I'd had sex and got a little cum on
my skin, that was enough to terrify me.
Not to mention if I'd slept with someone
who didn't want to use a condom.
I found it hard to insist,
and I didn't like using one myself.
I was shattered afterwards.
Rushed to get tested all the time.
Sat in the clinic's waiting room
feeling filthy and ashamed.
And the three months it took
to get the final result,
I was paralyzed with anxiety.
I alternated between a fear of death
and thoughts of how to break it
to those close to me.
I lay awake at night thinking about my
parents and brothers,
how they'd have to tell others
that I was HIV positive.
Eventually,
the frustration and stress got so bad
that it seemed better
to stop having sex.
Completely.
Just skip it altogether.
Be spared of the anxiety.
But then we got medication.
It's long since it was a death sentence.
But you're still scared, right,
of getting a disease that you'll have to
take medication for the rest of your life?
And you don't know how it will affect
your body. Side effects and ...
What about PrEP?
Why didn't you test that?
Of course I should have.
I realize that now.
But when it came,
it felt like the train had left the station.
Sort of.
I don't know, I'm just so ... off.
But you are on Grindr.
-It's just to browse. I never do anything.
-Okay?
I don't think I have anything left
that could turn people on.
When I was told that I had to operate,
and Syland said
there was a good chance
I wouldn't regain my erection.
That seemed to me
like the smallest problem.
But on my way there that day,
to my surgery and likely impotence ...
Or at least sterility,
never another ejaculation ...
That day, of all days, they tell me
that a vaccine for HIV
is most likely coming.
It's as if I've come full circle.
I thought about
what you said the day we met.
That people should pull themselves together.
I don't mean that you should, but perhaps
try to avoid wallowing in self-pity.
You're not done at all.
Come to bed, now.
-Are you managing?
-Yes.
Thank you.
-What are you doing?
-I'm going to lie down with you.
-Why?
-Because I feel like it.
I'm not going to do anything,
I just want to lie next to you.
-You mustn't do it out of pity.
-No. I do it because I want to be with you.
Think of it as something good.
As a painkiller. For both of us.
I'm being serious.
Just try to relax.
WEDNESDAY, 27 AUGUSI'm off to work.
-How do you feel today?
-Not bad.
It looks good.
But the bag must be drained soon.
What is it?
-Maybe this will become weird now.
-What will?
You mustn't feel that you have to come back
just because you slept here with me.
Bjrn ...
Bjrn, Bjrn, Bjrn.
You need to have more faith in people.
Bye.
Hi, Ida.
Hi.
-Have you been sitting here long?
-I went inside, but you were still in bed.
-You're staying with Mum this week.
-I don't want to be at Mum's.
No, I get that, but ...
Go inside,
and we'll have breakfast together.
I'll just say goodbye to Marianne first.
-I'm sorry about that.
-No need to apologize. I should apologize.
Ida sits on the porch from dawn,
too scared to go into her own home
because I'm lying in the bed she usually
crawls into for comfort! That's not okay!
We'll solve this somehow.
I'll talk to Solveig.
Do you know
what I think would've been best?
If you and I had just ... met on
the Nesodden ferry one evening.
Just randomly.
Do you think that's possible?
-Oh, hi!
-Hi!
-You're sitting here?
-Yes?
-Oh, this is where you live?
-Are you coming from Ole?
-Yes.
-I told Ida not to run up there.
-I'm so sorry if she disturbed you.
-Not at all. No need to apologize.
No ... You're up early?
-I'm on my way to work.
-Right.
-So you had to leave anyway?
-Yes.
-You're up early too?
-I've been up since 3 a.m.
-Wow!
-Yes ...
Would you like a cup of coffee?
Keep me company for a little while?
-Just a little while?
-Yes ... Yes.
How nice.
Just come!
A pillow too? Thank you.
Here you go.
-Since three? You have trouble sleeping?
-A lot.
It's been like this for years.
I have been examined.
You know, they say that ...
... poor sleep shortens your life.
It's exhausting to think about.
-I get that.
-You lay awake thinking,
"now my life is getting shorter."
I don't get why they tell you that.
It's not exactly helpful.
No.
And I think many people
feel the same way.
Are you a socialist?
Yes.
Yes, I guess I am.
You're a music teacher, right?
How do you manage when you can't sleep?
I'm a trained music therapist.
But right now, I'm unemployed.
It is difficult to get a job out here.
I have considered moving back to Oslo.
I saw a job opening in Bergen.
But Ole and I agreed to live close
to each other because of the children.
But I don't know if it is
such a good thing. You know?
Sometimes I think that having to live
down here in this dip ...
I rent the first floor here, you see.
So I sit here in this dip so that the kids
can run between me and Ole.
Sometimes I think it's a punishment, really.
You don't have
a husband and children and ... so on?
-No.
-No ...
You seem so calm.
The first time I met you,
I thought you seemed so settled.
No ...
No, I really don't feel that way.
-Now I'm starting to cry.
-I'm so sorry!
It's fine, I just ...
I feel like I'm constantly hitting a wall.
Always trying to find my way.
-Sorry if I said something wrong.
-You didn't.
I honestly think
it's fine if I feel this way.
This is how it should be.
I'm so sorry ...
No, no reason to apologize.
Do you sometimes feel
like you're stuck, in a way?
In a situation, or your personality,
or in an expectation?
Completely stuck, thinking:
-"How did it end up like this?"
-Oh, absolutely. Quite often, really.
But ...
-But, listen.
-Yes?
Even if things seem impossible,
and the discouragements pile up ...
You must never stop believing
that there is a way out.
-You just have to endure?
-Yes.
"As your days are,
so shall your strength be."
-Heidi?
-Yes, that's one of Heidi's sayings.
I have to go now, or I'll be late.
Why don't Heidi, you, and I
meet up one day?
-That would be so nice!
-Go with Heidi to Oslo, and ...
-Yes!
-We could go out to eat.
I don't want to ruin anything
for you and Ole.
-You can put that behind you.
-Yes?
-You can get my number from Heidi.
-Heidi. Should I call you, or ...
-I have to go.
-I'll talk to Heidi. Of course.
-Thank you for sitting with me.
-Thanks for the coffee.
-Great talking to you. See you soon!
-You too! Yes! Bye!
-Hi!
-Are you a commuter now?
-No.
-No?
Did you spend the night
at ... what's-his-name's place?
-Yes.
-Are things going well?
-Yes.
-You look happy.
-I'm just excited about going to work.
-Okay.
No, I'm actually really happy.
It feels like I'm thinking clearly.
That's wonderful.
-And you? You look happy yourself.
-Yes?
I guess I am?
I'm also excited about going to work.
-Hi.
-Hi.
Up early?
I'm meeting with Anna and the musicians.
Did you stay over at Ole Harald's place?
How's the project going?
Have they decided about the anniversary?
Yes, it ...
Okay ...
Yes. I had an awful meeting yesterday.
But things are turning out
the way I want after all.
-Wow!
-Not the way you think.
I realized that it's just stupid
to spend that much money on a party.
I convinced them to spend it on making it
easier for people to contact the council.
So that they get help when they need it,
quite simply.
There will be a small event
on the town hall roof, like Anna suggested.
We have composed a piece
to be performed by a singer,
who's supposed to represent the "Oslo girl".
It's a so-called everyday-cantata.
That's what we're rehearsing now.
This is so much simpler,
and more meaningful, I think.
So now you don't want to quit after all?
I was planning to quit.
Think of all you've accomplished
with this, Heidi.
You can't quit now.
You're such a good thinker.
We need people like you
in the municipality.
A first for everything!
"You're needed in the municipality."
-You too. You're also needed.
-But not you?
Me? Of course.
I am the municipality.
Nortext
But understand that it's treatable.
Your condition is serious,
but it can be treated.
-Right, uhm ...
-Yes?
-Can I ask you something?
-Yes, of course.
The treatment, is it ...
Will I have to ask for sick leave?
Yes. Not right away,
but during treatment.
Treatment, as in pills?
No. Either surgery or radiation therapy,
and both have side effects.
Let me know if I'm going too fast.
Surgery means remove your prostate,
which will result in sterility.
But so would the radiation treatment.
Both treatments
will affect your erectile function.
This can be partially remedied by training,
but your erections
will likely never be the same.
Incontinence is another common side effect,
but many are not affected.
I would recommend surgery.
But in the end, the choice is all yours.
This happens to many men at some point.
If the patient is elderly, we sometimes
choose not to treat it. But you are not.
You should let this sink in for a bit.
Do you have any questions right now?
You can ask me anything.
No.
WEDNESDAY, 6 AUGUS-Can I ask you something?
-Of course.
-I'm not sure if he truly grasped it.
-Really?
-You didn't get the same impression?
-No ...?
Well, it's not uncommon
that the patient is unable to ...
Maybe more so than usual.
He didn't have any questions,
but that's not uncommon.
Next patient?
Please answer.
What did she tell you?
They can't let you leave
with no answers.
-Bjrn Holm?
-What are they supposed to do?
Well, I don't know, but ...
It isn't malignant, is it?
I think so.
I didn't quite catch what she said.
-You didn't ask?
-I must ask for sick leave.
You must ask
until you get a clear answer!
-Please join me.
-Why?
There's someone you need to see.
-I'll go ask.
-No, you don't.
-Yes.
-No.
Can you ask both of them
to come back inside?
-Hi.
-How are you?
SEX / DREAMS / LOVE
DREAMS / LOVE
LOVE
All the art we see here,
tells us something.
I think it's essential that we see
the city hall decorations
as a message to all of us living in Oslo.
And with that in mind, you will see
that the whole building
radiates human values.
That frieze, for instance, displays
different constellations of women
with children.
To the left, a single woman with child.
And next to her,
two women with a child together.
I interpret it as an approvement of both
single mothers and same-sex parenthood.
And in extension, an unequivocal
municipal tribute to homosexuality.
Isn't that wonderful?
This is my friend Marianne, by the way.
Feel free to join us. Let's find some
other good examples on the west wall.
In this country,
we do love sports achievements.
So I love the fact
that the sport they chose
is one which to such a degree
embraces the feminine.
Namely, figure skating!
Here we see the very symbol of Oslo
- the Oslo Girl.
Or the "Oslo Woman",
as I like to call her.
See how she stands there,
watching and listening.
Beholding her city.
I think that's really nice.
On this side, I'd like to show you
these two sculptures
which stand out from the rest.
The Fisherman by Nils Flakstad.
It represents one of Norway's
most important industries.
But we must not forget that the fisherman
is also an ancient symbol of Christ.
Therefore, I love to see this figure as
a loving and forgiving Christ figure
holding his hand in blessing
over the lives of all citizens of Oslo.
And all that encompasses,
of dreams and worries ...
And needs, not least sexual needs, which
I'd like to link to a figure over here.
This is the sole sculpture
which explicitly deals with sexuality.
We see a rendezvous
between three people.
A couple on the right,
single man on the left.
This meeting is tingling
with sexual tension.
Something's clearly going on between the man
on the left and the woman on the right.
But if you study the man on the right,
isn't his gaze also turned
toward the other man?
Now look down at his hands,
folded over his crotch.
What does that signify? Will this end
in a sexual fusion of the three?
A threesome, quite simply?
Such things happen.
People have different sexual needs
and preferences,
which Jesus sees and acknowledges
as part of creation.
What I find especially interesting, is that
such a prominent spot on our town hall's
outer wall has been dedicated to sexuality.
I find that so moving and considerate.
-But ... isn't this a bit narrow?
-How so?
I mean, it seems a bit too niche ...
This is supposed to be the very foundation
of Oslo's 100-year anniversary celebration.
A national celebration.
Flair and party ...
Yes, and we've planned plenty of events
in the city around this theme.
-It should go on for days.
-Yes. It's an ongoing process that we ...
What do you envisage, specifically?
Making a budget is hard
when we don't know what we're working on.
We do have specific suggestions ...
But it won't be just one day.
It's supposed to include everybody.
Absolutely! It's for everybody!
But who's "everybody"?
Isn't "everybody" us?
Many little niches
for women and men and different ...
And together we're everybody.
See you tomorrow.
-Bye.
-Bye.
-That did not go well.
-It did!
No, it didn't go well.
Can we go and have coffee somewhere?
Don't we have to catch the ferry?
We don't have to be at Nesodden for
another two hours. We have plenty of time.
-These were your ideas.
-Yes, my presentation.
Everyone presents their idea,
then we decide together.
There's also a consultancy firm, of course,
who have a proposal.
But it must be based on concern for people.
You think so?
-Me? You think so too.
-I do? How so?
When I applied for this job, you said:
"Working for the municipality
is an opportunity to help people."
-I said that?
-Yes.
-Were you talking about your own job?
-Maybe?
"Maybe" ...
You say such things
without thinking, Marianne.
"When you speak my name,
I go wild with joy
that you know what I'm called."
Remember that you wrote that to me?
Yes, you bet.
It's a quote from Ragnar Hovland.
What made you think of that now?
I don't know,
probably because you said "Marianne".
Tell me more about tonight.
What's happening tonight is ...
I've put together a team
to work out the details.
There's a composer, an architect,
a choreographer ...
And then we're ...
But what about the geologist?
He does know I'm coming?
Yes, of course.
I have a great feeling about it.
Well, it's probably just in my head,
but I think you will hit it off.
Hit it off ...
And it's a nice setting for you
to meet with other people there,
- so it won't be so stiff, you know...
-But I tend to hit it off with many people.
-What, how ...?
-No, I just ...
I kind of lose the ... It just seems
so much more important to you.
-That you meet someone?
-Mm.
No.
No, it's not that.
-No, that's not it.
-No?
It's not like I talk a lot about
missing having a boyfriend, or do I?
No, you don't.
I probably just see it
from my point of view.
I stressed so much about meeting someone.
But you have said that you are open
to meeting someone.
Yes, I am.
But when you say you were so
stressed about not finding someone,
what were you so stressed about?
I don't really know.
You used to love being alone.
Is it the security a relationship brings?
-Maybe ...
-I've been thinking about that a lot.
I don't feel insecure in life.
And neither do you.
No.
Well, I like being married.
I'm simpler than you in that way.
After seven or eight years in that flat,
you decide to buy a bedside table?
It never occurred to me.
Where can I get one?
IKEA, I guess. Or a used one online.
What kind do you want?
It must be a low one that matches the bed.
-You'll need two.
-No.
You can't have a double bed
with a table on one side. That's sad.
Who cares? Why is that sad?
Buying two is not ...
Hi! Are you also going to a party?
-Party?
-More like a get-together.
-Or an inspirational meeting.
-OK. I'm on my way home.
-You live at Nesodden? I had no idea.
-No, I'm not. I'm just borrowing a cabin.
I've been spending the summer there.
-Heidi, my friend, and Tor, my colleague.
-Pleasure.
-Have fun, regardless.
-We will.
-See you tomorrow?
-Sure. Bye.
-Is he a doctor?
-No, a nurse.
-I have to find a mirror.
-I'll just go outside.
Hi!
You can't take for granted
that people actually get what you say.
I've been thinking
about that patient all day.
-I'm so glad you caught that.
-Well, he reminded me of my dad.
-I can be a bit like that, too.
-You can?
Well, I can relate to not daring to ask
in case I make a fool of myself.
-I see. Where are you from?
-Hobl, in stfold county.
-Did you grow up on a farm?
-No, but my mum did.
-I see.
-But they weren't farmers.
They're ordinary folk.
My dad worked in construction.
-And you became a nurse.
-Yes, eventually.
I never imagined that you
were from Hobl, or even stfold.
No? Because I'm so good-looking?
-Do you think you're that good-looking?
-I was joking.
But I have been told by people
when going out.
No, really?
"You're too good-looking
to come from stfold."
-Do people really say that?
-Nah. Or yes, it's happened a few times.
Maybe it's the dialect.
It's hard to be taken seriously.
-You can't tell he's from stfold.
-No.
I try to hide it.
You can't tell that we're
from Dokka either.
-No, I don't think so.
-Dokka? Where's that?
Not far from Gjvik.
Between Gjvik and Fagernes.
-Where's your cabin?
-There it is.
-The small red one?
-Yes, the first one you see.
-Right by the ferry quay.
-Yes.
-Bye.
-Bye.
-Wow, this one?
-Yes.
-What a house! He must be wealthy?
-Wealthy?
-Hi.
-Hi.
How did your presentation go?
Wasn't that today?
-Not good. I didn't get my points across.
-No, it went really well.
I'm sure it did.
You made it sound so great.
I was almost jealous of your ideas.
-Hi. Ole Harald.
-Marianne.
So you're Marianne!
Heidi told us about you.
-You're not part of ...
-No, I'm a doctor.
You just came along?
What will you be serving them?
-Beer and wine. Snacks.
-Have a barbecue! He's so good at it.
None of my business.
Let's go, girls. Daddy has a meeting.
Hey, you ... Just go inside.
The others are already here.
-Let's go home now. Come along.
-No!
We've discussed this.
Daddy has a meeting.
-Please?
-Let go. One, two, three!
These days, the concept "feminism"
has to encompass so much.
Yes, it's been diluted to the point
where it's lost all meaning.
-Hi!
-I'm so glad you could make it.
-All of you. Hi..
-Ismael.
-Heidi. You're the architect?
-Hi. bel.
-Marianne.
-Hi, Anna. Nice to see you again.
-This is Marianne.
-I have nothing to do with this.
Right. I couldn't help but hear
that you were talking about feminism?
I'm curious, do you think we're
preaching to the choir with this project?
-I'm not sure, it depends ...
-It depends how you see it.
My mum called me last night,
and I told her about this.
I told her this was a municipal project.
But she can't relate to feminism.
She says it has nothing to do with her.
She's trying to get home aid,
but can't figure out how to apply.
She calls them, to no avail, which is ...
So you think
we should celebrate the anniversary
by improving public services
and making better web solutions?
-The one does not rule out the other.
-No, not at all.
-Are you employed by the municipality?
-Yes, in the Department of Culture.
And I am project leader
for the anniversary.
-I am a historian by education.
-With a very impressive doctoral thesis.
-Okay, wow!
-I wrote my thesis on fashion history.
-On which subject?
-Per Spook, if you've heard of him?
Hi. This is ...
Yes. Hi.
Right, this is ...
Would you ...? No?
As I said in the email,
I intended this to be
an initial or inspirational meeting.
Very similar words,
I hear that now.
If we start out with the fundamentals,
namely the ground we walk on...
And since I have a good neighbour
who's a geologist
I started to think about it,
and thought that maybe this perspective
could open up some new thoughts.
-I don't know if you ...
-Uhm, yes?
I was planning to say a few words
about the city's geological formation.
And so on.
If that can tempt you?
I suggest we go up on the roof,
where the view is better.
We can see the whole city from there.
Exciting.
-If you just follow me?
-Excellent.
That shirt ...
It's so nice.
-Why, thank you!
-I noticed it too.
I feel some buyer's shame.
It's my most expensive shirt ever.
There's no fence out there,
so please sit down.
I don't want anyone to fall down.
-Can I step here?
-Sure, don't think about it.
-Whose bed are we stepping in?
-It's mine.
-You sleep here?
-I should've changed the sheets.
-No, why?
-No, I just ... I grew up here.
Well, in the old house that used to be here.
My room was here, more or less.
-So this is the boy's room?
-Yes, the boy's bed.
-Is that exciting to you?
-Yes, a little.
-I think it got a little exciting myself.
-It's not the widest.
No, but ... there's room,
if you want there to be.
If you want there to be, there's room.
Right ...
I'd like to start out by saying
that everything is in flux.
Constantly.
Hence, nothing is truly fundamental.
But we do have historical facts.
"The Oslo Cauldron"
derives its name from
the hills of Nordmarka and Ekeberg
which slope down to the lowland,
giving it a cauldron-like shape.
What we call Oslo today,
is made up from three species of stone.
We have the bedrock area,
which consists of hard species
like gneiss and granite.
This area stretches
from stmarka to Ekeberg,
and slopes down to Bunnefjorden.
Then we have "the centre".
That mostly consists of Cambro-Silurian;
softer stone species
like limestone and slate,
and lots of deposit and clay.
And if you look at the surrounding heights,
like Nordmarka and Srkedalen,
we find mostly eruptive species,
like lava and basalt.
These are species of rock
that are "up-going",
as one high school teacher
explained to me.
And all this makes up the topography
which may resemble a cauldron.
I'm not sure it's up to me to interpret
what impact geology has on our lives.
But ... yeah, I think, like, where
you walk, where you put your feet,
but also what surrounds us;
the buildings, for example, or the flora,
it affects us mentally.
I think you can look at it a bit like
the smell of clothes
of someone who doesn't use deodorant
or perfumes or anything like that.
You react to that smell.
It has a personality,
and it can challenge you.
You feel it in your body.
And in the same way,
I think it also impacts our soul.
Yes, we can go back down.
Would anyone like some wine?
-Yes, please.
-Or something else?
Let's go down.
Watch your head.
When the architect mentioned
his mum not getting the help she needs ...
When so many things don't work,
it makes this whole celebration all ...
It's like I haven't thought this through.
That our focus should be elsewhere.
I think you're complicating things.
One thing being important doesn't make
another any less important or interesting.
This keeps happening.
You have this profoundly original idea,
which is all yours,
but then the doubts set in.
-Ida, this won't do.
-It must be exhausting.
You can't run away from mummy.
Let's go home and read a bedtime story.
I get that you need
to think things through.
You had brushed your teeth
and were about to go to bed!
Let's go read a bedtime story.
-Come on, let's go.
-Hi, Solveig.
-Let me help you up.
-I'm fine.
Okay. Where's Oda?
Is she home alone?
Oda is at home with Geir.
They're asleep.
-Come.
-I'm fine.
It's just me who can't sleep.
Let's go home, dear.
-Come.
-She can sleep here. You go home.
-But this is my week.
-No, this is how it'll be.
Solveig, let's walk home together.
I'll go get my purse.
-Everything's fine out here?
-Yes.
You didn't make them anything?
-I'll just leave.
-Bad form, Ole.
We had fish pie, didn't we?
-And white wine.
-How lovely.
I don't like to throw away food.
-Ida, why don't we go home, dear?
-Solveig, let's go.
-I'm leaving too.
-Can I ask you something?
-Of course.
-Both my mum and aunt had cancer.
Yes?
Sorry ...
So I was just wondering ...
Sorry! I'm fine.
I just wondered if you knew of any
correlation between cancer and insomnia?
I've never heard of any conclusive studies.
So don't you worry.
-Come. You'll find your way to the ferry?
-Ida, see you tomorrow. Sleep tight.
-Okay, bye.
-I'll mail you before Wednesday.
-Great. Bye!
-Later.
-Sorry about this.
-No need to apologize.
-Hey there!
-I'd like to talk some more.
-Me too.
-To find out what's your story.
I don't know if I have a story, but ...
Who you are.
Anyhow, I really enjoyed talking to you.
So did I.
Well ...
-Bye, and good luck.
-Bye.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Are you following me?
-Likewise.
Three times in one day?
Where are you headed?
-Out on the town?
-No, not out on the town.
-Okay?
-I'm not going anywhere.
-You're just taking the ferry?
-Yes.
I just take the ferry, back and forth.
I do that sometimes.
How was the party?
Party, well ...
It actually ended rather abruptly.
Oh, that was weird.
I only went because Heidi wants
to set me up with a neighbour.
And that ... Well, he's divorced, and his
ex-wife lives in the house next door.
-Oh well.
-Not your type?
Yes, absolutely.
Maybe. We'll see.
And you just take the ferry
back and forth?
Yes, sometimes when I can't sleep
and I'm feeling restless,
I take the ferry.
Mostly to look for ...
-To look for men, really.
-Okay.
-You know Grindr? Or Tinder, for sure.
-Of course, and I know about Grindr too.
You can see who's on,
and who's nearest in distance.
There's something about being in a confined
space, like a ferry. You can see who's on.
And when you see them on the screen,
you can just look up.
And they could be right in front of you.
-Is anyone on tonight?
-No, not right now.
-But it does happen?
-Absolutely. Often.
Okay, then what do you do?
Nothing at all, sometimes.
Maybe just exchange glances.
-Or we go out on deck.
-And have sex?
Yes?
Mostly, we just talk.
Maybe we arrange something.
For me, it's mostly about the thrill.
Meeting someone's gaze
and realizing that we're both "on".
But have you ever
had sex on the Nesodden ferry?
A few times. But the trip is so short
that you can only do so much.
Right.
-It's a bit like cruising.
-Cruising, what's that?
You have no idea?
It's about going to
certain places for casual sex.
There are many cruising spots.
Often secluded parts of parks or woods,
- where men go to meet other men.
-And have sex.
Yes.
But not just that.
On this boat, we mostly just talk.
And sometimes,
when you're cruising in a park,
you sit down and talk
after having sex.
And there's something
about that post-sex talk.
Because these are people
you don't know anything about.
You may not know their name.
Maybe you never will.
And being on neutral ground
creates this ...
- strange, yet pleasant closeness.
-Right.
Which makes opening up feel so natural.
-What do you talk about?
-Anything. These are all kinds of people.
Some are still in the closet.
And some don't see themselves as gay at all.
They just enjoy sex with men.
And some are very sad
and ridden with guilt.
Maybe they've snuck out of family dinners
or children's parties
and need to talk about it.
Some just want to talk about coming out.
-But you're out, right?
-Me? Yes.
To me, it was easy.
But you hear these crazy stories.
Parents cutting all contact.
Sheer evil.
Tonight, that guy
I was being set up with, he ...
He isn't really the type of guy
I'd even consider.
Then we went out on his roof.
He wanted to show us something.
And out there, I suddenly felt
this overwhelming closeness.
And I couldn't control my hands.
I grabbed his butt.
-How did he react?
-I've never done anything of the like.
How he reacted?
Well, he was surprised. As was I.
-But I think he liked it.
-Did you like it?
-Yes, I liked it.
-Okay ...
What kind of guy is he?
He's kind of sly, warm and cheeky,
all at once.
And what kind of men turn you on?
I have no idea.
It feels completely unpredictable.
And you? What turns you on?
-A certain type of skin, I think.
-Okay?
It's pretty hard to explain.
I can get turned on by ... sweat.
The skin on the inner thighs,
when it's sweaty ...
Okay ...
I can get turned on
by all sorts of things.
Are you going to see him again?
That Nesodden guy?
Yes ... Yes?
Or no? I don't ...
I don't know.
These things always get so complicated.
I wish I could've had sex with him tonight,
and never seen him again.
Because you're not
looking for a relationship?
Yes and no ...
-Do you have a bedside table?
-Bedside table?
Yes, two of them. I keep them in a storage
unit while I'm staying at the cabin.
Why do you ask?
-You're getting off here?
-Mm. You're staying on?
Good luck.
-Thanks.
-Bye.
Hi.
Hi.
Had a nice evening so far?
Nice evening?
I've been working.
-And now? Going home to your partner?
-No.
No, there's no partner.
-Why were you working so late?
-I had a patient.
-I'm a psychologist.
-Wow!
Right?
I think so too.
Wow.
Well, what's it like?
Right now, it feels like working
in a factory. Assembly-line work.
In what way?
In what way ...
I mean ...
If you have grown up
with the expectation that nothing in life
should ever be painful or challenging,
you'll break down
at the slightest hint of adversity.
You'll think
having a bad day is not normal.
And that you need treatment.
It almost feels wrong to say it,
but I ...
Sometimes, I just want to tell them
to pull themselves together.
It'd be so much cheaper.
Okay ...
I saw you on Grindr.
-I'm not really that interested in ...
-I can leave.
Not at all, feel free to stay.
Other than that,
are you looking for a partner or just sex?
-"Just" sex? Nothing's "just" sex.
-No?
Well, no ...
I don't think so. Not to most, anyhow.
But you're perhaps someone
who has a lot of sex?
Yes.
I guess I ... Yes.
-With many different partners?
-Yes.
-No steady partner?
-No, I ...
-I'll sit over here, if that's okay.
-Okay.
I'm fine with not having a steady partner.
What's it like, then?
Having sex, nowadays?
Well, it's ...
Are you joking?
-No.
-No?
What's it like to have sex nowadays ...
It's good.
What do you mean, exactly?
I don't know ...
Do you feel safe?
Safe? Yes.
But no, not everyone does.
Some bodies are so tense
that you can see how hard they try
to squeeze out anything at all.
Whether it's semen or emotions.
-But they might have watched a lot of porn.
-Right. So you wouldn't recommend that?
Porn? Sure.
It could help you discover what you like,
if nothing else.
Kinky stuff?
Kinky ...
What's kinky, then?
Isn't that mostly up here?
I don't know.
I think most things can be nice.
I can enjoy
getting fucked by many men at once.
Or get peed on.
I think both can be very arousing.
But when it does happen,
I don't think of it as kinky.
-No?
-Just good.
Or nice.
But maybe that's what you mean by kinky?
No, I ...
I don't know.
You're not interested in anything?
Neither sex nor boyfriend?
As if they are opposites?
Don't most people want both?
Both many sex partners
and someone who loves you exclusively?
-Isn't that the dilemma?
-It doesn't have to be.
I'm so thoughtless.
I haven't asked you what you do.
Or if you've had a nice evening,
or anything.
I'm sorry about that.
That was really rude.
I'm not normally this self-absorbed.
It was really kind of you to come over.
I appreciated that, just so you know.
But we're almost there now.
-I think I'll head back inside.
-Sure.
You have a nice evening.
What's your name?
-It's Bjrn.
-Bjrn ...
My name's Tor.
I see.
Goodbye, Tor.
Goodbye, Bjrn.
Am I going to die?
No, you're not going to die.
It's just that ...
I don't feel like someone who gets cancer.
No ...
I realize that this is very painful news.
But you came to me early.
You came here early.
-You'll be just fine.
-Yes ...
The prognosis is excellent.
Keep that in mind.
But you did tell me
that I must undergo treatment?
We'll find you the best treatment.
That'd be either chemotherapy,
radiation, or surgery, right?
Most probably, yes.
I can't ...
I can't do that!
I can't be that bald guy on television
speaking out about it.
But you won't have to do that.
-No, nobody has to do that.
-I'm not like that!
THURSDAY, 14 AUGUSI think he is like that.
It says here that he's a standup comedian.
Have you heard of him?
-Yes. Do you find it hard to have empathy?
-No, I don't.
I have lots of empathy for him.
But this will benefit him financially.
He'll get lots of sympathy on Instagram,
write books ...
But in a way that's good.
It might help others.
But he'll be yet another successful example
of how to cope with illness.
It could make others feel like failures
for not coping quite as well.
-I see.
-Who knows. Going to lunch?
No, I'm taking time off.
Josef is stepping in for me. There he is.
-Hi.
-A "Joel" tried to reach you just now.
-Joel?
-Personal. He wanted you to call him back.
Could it have been "Hoel"?
Ole Harald Hoel?
I couldn't hear.
-I'll make a quick call.
-Sure. I'm off.
-All right. Bye.
-Bye.
-Someone you know?
-Perhaps?
Hi! Do you recognize me?
-From the boat?
-Yeah.
On your way home?
Is something wrong?
Hey ... Let me see.
-Can you breathe?
-I don't know what's wrong.
Can you raise your arm?
Hey, can you raise your arm?
Okay, good.
-I'm fine.
-Look at me.
It does look like something's wrong.
Did you get bad news?
-I'm fine.
-Yes?
Thank you.
-Hey ...
-Listen, I'm fine.
-Are you sure?
-Yes, completely.
"I have an innate love for humanity.
For all humans.
And compassion, too.
I don't think
I'm cut out for having only one man.
It feels almost childish
to love just one human being.
I could never be faithful either.
Not because of other men,
but because I consist of so many people."
Which book is it?
It is a diary.
Etty Hillesum is her name.
Was her name.
I'm reading her diaries and letters.
I read that last one on my way here.
I like it so much.
-Do you think it's for me?
-I don't know.
You can borrow it when I'm done.
-What are you reading? If anything?
-I mostly read scientific literature.
I'm not that fond of stories.
"Then this happened,
then this happened ..."
-It doesn't feel real to me.
-True. A diary is different, though.
It is inherently unpredictable, and
consists of things both past and present.
It has no retroactive logic.
I mostly read about rocks.
I write about rocks too.
I think I write more than I read.
-I see.
-I usually sit in that chair.
-And write.
-About rocks.
About rocks.
With a blanket over me.
Give it a try.
It's very comfy.
Thanks.
So this is where you sit
with your laptop and write?
Well, I mostly write by hand.
Really?
It occurred to me that you never see
anyone's handwriting anymore.
Well, this is mine.
What do you think?
"I think it looks stern.
This is mine."
Thank you. It looks ...
... old-fashioned?
-Oh well.
-But I must apologize.
I was planning to make you dinner.
I am fond of cooking.
But things didn't go as planned today.
Supper was great.
But ...
Urologist ...?
Yes, urologist.
I was thinking ...
The abdomen,
this part of the body, it is ...
... what we think of as the most intimate.
It can be a source of pleasure.
But we also associate it with urination,
defecation, things people find repulsive.
Therefore it has become associated with
shame whether the area works or not.
-But ... geologist?
-Yes.
-Pray tell.
-Well ...
Many become geologists
to work in the petroleum industry.
That may have been my goal too,
before I started.
Before I realized what stone is.
-Before you grew fond of stone.
-Yes ... Yes?
At this point, stone may be
the most important thing in my life.
And I can ...
I can hear stones sing.
If I ...
... and I love to do this ...
... if I lie down on rock
or on a knoll by the sea ...
and press my ear against the rock,
I can hear it.
There's no magical thinking involved.
It's just a combination
of the physical sensation
of stone against skin,
and everything I know about the stone.
I guess it's a merging of
knowledge and physical sensation
that gives the feeling of a living pulse.
This is something I can hear,
but it applies to you as well.
You can hear it too.
It is ...
It applies equally to you.
When I started my master's degree,
I had a friend make me
a model of Oslo's topography.
That was the first time
I discovered the poetic aspect of...
I'd love to see that model.
-Well, I have it still.
-No, really?
Yes?
Yes, yes.
Wow!
-Pretty big!
-Yes.
-Nice, right?
-Very nice!
I love that the different species
have different colours.
You get a sense of their properties.
-What's that?
-That's shale.
And that over here?
Limestone.
What's on your mind?
Your skin.
I like it a lot.
And I love that you're so passionate
about your profession.
Yes? I care about other things too.
What I love most in the whole world,
is spending time with my daughters.
They're the most
important thing in my life.
Didn't you just say that it was rocks?
What's it going to be, rocks or kids?
Both.
It's not like you have to pick one.
It's just language
tricking us into thinking like that.
What?
I'm just listening to you.
I think you might like this book.
Could it be
that you'd like to spend the night?
Yes, I'd love that.
But I don't think I will.
I think I'm going to leave.
-Would it be okay if I sat down here?
-Sure.
-Well ...
-Yes?
-Yes ...
-What brings you here, to this boat?
I've been visiting someone.
Now I'm going home.
-Who did you visit?
-A friend.
-Dinner?
-Supper.
"Supper on Nesodden"?
Sounds like a folk album.
Candles, harmonica ...
-Conspiracy theories.
-Sure. I like folk music.
Sure. So do I.
And you? Have you been working?
I'm renovating a house.
I've been laying flooring all day.
Dammit.
-It was supposed to rain today.
-Is it a shame that it didn't?
It's nice to go swimming when it rains.
When I'm done for the day,
I usually go for a swim.
The people I work for
have a swimming area.
-Don't you like to swim?
-I love to swim.
What do you do
when you're not out swimming?
Not much.
-I do crossword puzzles.
-Crossword puzzles?
-You too?
-No. I read.
Oh, I see.
You like words
that follow each other in a sequence?
-Sure.
-I see. I prefer them a bit more jumbled.
-A sort of chaos I have to make sense of.
-Right.
You have really nice bangs.
-Thank you.
-May I ...
Do you know what we could've done,
if we had a car?
We could've driven to Paradise Bay,
gone for a swim and then made love.
We could have done that.
We could indeed.
But ... there are other places
than Paradise Bay.
Are you laughing?
Did you find that funny?
I'm just very glad I met you.
I haven't done this before.
-At least not this spontaneously. Have you?
-Yes, sure. Or ... yes.
Pretty often, actually.
Or well, it depends.
Right now, my wife is away
visiting her parents. Her father is sick.
Which gives me more time to myself.
-Right. You're married?
-Sure. You are not?
-No.
-I kind of assumed we both were.
-Oh.
-Okay.
Well, fine.
You do look married.
Did that surprise you?
You look surprised.
Married and surprised?
Yes, maybe a little surprised.
Mostly that you're on Tinder
when you're married.
-Aren't you afraid your wife will find out?
-She's not on Tinder, is she?
-I don't know. But her friends, perhaps.
-No, no.
You may not believe me,
but I truly love my wife.
We've been married for 20 years.
We'll be together in Voss this weekend.
-You're from Voss?
-Yes. Me and my wife both.
I grew up in a place with half a kilometre
between the house and the mailbox.
That does something to you.
You can't imagine the expectations
that build up on that walk.
-I'm from Dokka.
-Sure. Then you get what I mean.
I guess your mailbox
was pretty far away too.
-Not half a kilometre.
-No, but you get my drift.
Then you also get
that there's no connection
between expectations
and the life you get.
But you're not married?
No? Okay.
Well, if you say so.
You know best.
I did feel that there was
something different about you.
I don't know about you, but most
unmarried women expect something more.
They may not admit it, but ...
I have this friend, and we
strongly disagree on this, but he ...
He thinks of every woman
he meets on Tinder as a whore.
I have never been with
or visited a whore.
He has, before Tinder.
But not me.
He told me that to him,
Tinder is a "free brothel".
And in one way, it is.
But not only that.
Because I see a lot of women
who are whoring themselves up,
but who have high expectations of something
else that is impossible to live up to.
And that just makes me feel guilty.
And that's why I ... No.
I believe that if you're married,
your expectations are lower.
And that ...
-Did that come out wrong?
-Not at all.
Don't you feel guilty towards your wife?
Of course I do.
Extremely.
Of course I feel guilty,
but that's completely different!
You probably think
I'm the biggest asshole on the planet.
But I have so much sex in me.
And I ...
I'm so fond of people!
People are ...
You seem like a nice person,
and what we just shared ...
That's something wholly different than ...
Than with someone else.
So I think,
why does it have to be so wrong?
Of course my conscience is bad.
I think you ruined this a little.
-How so? Did I say something wrong?
-No, I just ...
I think I should head home.
You don't really know me.
But I am ...
I am a good guy.
Yes, I truly believe you are.
You are a good guy.
Absolutely. But ...
Can't you stay for a bit?
You seem so tense.
No, I ... I'll head home.
-Thank you for tonight. It was nice.
-Thank you.
Goodbye.
SUNDAY, 17 AUGUSMONDAY, 18 AUGUSDid he really say
that Tinder is like a free brothel?
-Yes.
-What does that make you? A whore?
Yes, or him.
I didn't have different intentions.
I just wanted to have sex with him.
We wanted the same thing,
so that's what happened.
Afterwards, he said things
no woman would've said.
But I'm not sure that makes him
a bad person, morally.
Well, he was married.
Maybe I wouldn't have slept with him
if I'd known.
-It really gets to me.
-What does?
That you go straight
from making out with Ole Harald
to having sex with a random stranger
by the docks.
It really was completely unproblematic.
It just made me really happy.
It felt so free, in a way.
A casual closeness to a stranger
can feel really nice.
You say that like you've never had
casual sex before, but you have.
It may have been
the situation - meeting on the ferry.
It was much more non-committal than a date.
It's not like arranging to meet via Tinder,
or sitting down in a bar,
which feels like more of a transaction.
No, it was simply a free space.
We met on equal terms.
-Am I boring you?
-No, but you have to wear ...
Put them in,
because they're about to ...
-Hi.
-Hi. I checked out the halls.
And they're nice enough, but
it would be much nicer to do it up here.
With a sound system,
people can experience it all over town.
-Has the project been approved?
-No.
-It looks like it'll get voted down.
-Voted down? Why? When?
This morning. I was going to tell you,
but then you gave me that sex story.
We want to do something regardless.
A stunt up here, a filmed concert.
It could be really nice.
We'll have to see what we can afford.
It hasn't been settled just yet.
Right now, there is
a lot of interest for a project involving
Knausgrd curating an exhibition about
artists during World War II. Partisan art.
I'll go talk to the carillonist,
and come back up later.
I worked so hard on this.
It gave me so much energy.
And now I have to work
with Knausgrd and World War II?
I feel miserable and dry on the inside.
I just want to quit.
You can't quit.
I'm put out by the things you're doing, too.
I can't get over it, Marianne.
Straight from making out with the geologist
to having sex with the carpenter!
-You, the most responsible person I know!
-You think it's irresponsible?
-I don't know.
-I don't think it was.
I think my morals are really strict.
They're just not about sex,
but rather how we treat each other.
This is exactly what you articulated so well
during the Town Hall tour!
You talked about freedom,
about sexual freedom ...
Yes, and a lot of that comes from you.
It was all about you.
Surely you realized?
-You do things that I could never do.
-But would you have liked to?
Oh, I don't know.
I guess I feel threatened by it,
in some way.
That freedom of yours.
That transgressive behaviour.
What does that make me?
Some timid, subdued,
boring person, afraid to live life?
-It's not about that, Heidi.
-I do know that, deep down.
But when I talk to you, I think like that.
You make me think like that.
That doesn't mean my life is boring,
even though I don't sleep
with random carpenters.
Sleeping with that carpenter doesn't make
me all free-spirited and my life wonderful.
I'm not even that interested in sex.
It just happened, as with anything else,
and I enjoyed it a lot.
Fine. But things get complicated for me with
regards to Ole Harald too. He's a friend!
I met him on the ferry. He'd had a wonderful
time and looked forward to calling you.
No, really?
That's so nice to hear!
Heidi, I like him a lot.
I think he's wonderful.
-What are you saying? You'll see him again?
-I may, who knows?
But I'm quite sure
that we won't become a couple.
That became clear when he said
his girls were most important of all.
-Why? Do you want to be most important?
-No, of course not.
It just struck me
how complicated this is.
His daughters should be
the most important thing in his life.
But they may not feel that way
if someone else enters their life.
-You can't think like that, Marianne.
-No? I'm a child of divorce myself.
Not thinking about the children
would be really self-centred!
If I start dating Ole Harald,
I must get involved in his life.
Isn't that a good thing, getting involved
in someone's life? The kids will love you.
Yes, maybe so, but ...
Getting involved means
taking on responsibility.
And that family has problems.
Two insecure kids
and a next-door ex-wife who drinks.
You think Solveig has a drinking problem?
-Yes.
-I don't think so.
That was typical alcoholic behaviour.
Reminded me of Dad.
Well, if you see all this,
the insecure children and ...
-Isn't that exactly when ...
-... one should get involved? No.
I'm not right for that responsibility.
The responsible move is to stay away.
That's just cynical, Marianne.
-I think getting involved is more cynical.
-No. No!
I feel at the bottom of my heart
that you're wrong.
If I should get involved, it would be
with Solveig. She needs it the most.
FRIDAY, 22 AUGUSYou're checking surgery schedules?
-Can I ask you something?
-Yes.
Is it okay to go by the ward and say hello
to a patient who just had surgery?
Is it someone you know,
or has he been here?
Well, he has, but ...
-I mean someone you've to do with.
-No, not here.
And I don't know him, not like ...
I met him for the first time on the ferry.
First on Grindr, then on deck.
Nothing happened, we just talked,
then he kissed me on the cheek.
But that was all.
And he's aware that I work here.
Okay. I don't know what to say.
-Why visit him? Are you interested?
-No! No ...
-No.
-No?
I just wanted to check up on him.
Out of kindness, really.
But if that could be misinterpreted ...
Do you think it's fine to say yes
to a dinner invitation
from a guy I'm pretty sure
I don't want to get involved with?
Well, as long as you don't
give him the wrong impre...
-You probably do that just by saying yes.
-That's the thing.
Well ...
-Visit as a nurse on duty. Not as you.
-Okay.
Hi, Carina.
I'm just checking up on a patient.
You do that.
Hi. I'm just checking up
on your neighbour.
Hi. I just thought I'd check up on ...
I can't find the charger for my phone.
Is it this one?
Oh, there it is.
Can you plug it in for me?
-Thank you.
-I'll leave it there.
I heard you had surgery yesterday,
and that it went well?
Well, the prostate is gone.
-Hope they got everything.
-Yes, let's hope that.
How did you know I was here?
Well, I work here.
I just checked the surgery schedule.
-You don't know my name.
-That wasn't hard to find out.
I know that your name is Bjrn, and I met
you in the corridor after your appointment.
I've thought so much about you
after our last meeting.
-I shouldn't have left you like that.
-Oh. Don't think about it.
-I could tell how distressed you were.
-I just didn't want any company.
-I get that.
-Yes.
In any case,
it's great that you got the surgery so soon.
-Yes, that was wonderful.
-How do you feel now?
Not bad,
except that I feel really bloated.
That's the worst part.
That happens when they inflate
your abdomen for the keyhole surgery.
You have to walk it off.
Fart it out.
-Yeah, so they tell me.
-Do you want to take a walk now?
-Now?
-Sure, I can walk with you.
-Listen, it's no ...
-Come on.
-I don't think I can stand up.
-I can help you. Is this yours?
Yes, but ...
-Let's do that.
-Careful with that one.
Thank you.
-And the other one.
-Yes. There.
-There we go.
-Please hold this.
Sure. The wheels are locked.
-There. Ready?
-Yes.
Okay.
-A little further.
-I think I want to go back. Yes.
-Okay?
-Okay.
There.
That went well.
I don't know about that.
-When are they discharging you?
-The day after tomorrow, I think.
-Can't be right.
-It probably is.
-This'll go faster than you think.
-You think so?
Yes.
I was thinking ...
You do have someone to help you?
With shopping and such.
You must avoid
heavy lifting for a few weeks.
-I have friends.
-Of course you do.
-A friend said she'd help me. I'll be fine.
-Okay, good.
What's your number?
90-25-22-13.
You don't have to ...
-Now you have my number too.
-Okay.
In case you need help
with grocery shopping, or anything.
Just call me.
I mean it.
We both live on Nesodden, after all.
If you'd been living in Sarpsborg,
I wouldn't have bothered.
-Remember to walk, so you pass the gas.
-I'll do my best.
-Thank you so much.
-You're welcome.
It was so nice of you
to check in on me.
To offer me help and everything.
Goodbye, Bjrn.
-You're headed home to Nesodden?
-Yes.
That's the plan.
Maybe I'll have a coffee on the way.
Or maybe a half-pint before the ferry.
You have no idea how lucky you are.
How fabulous that sounds
when you can't have it.
Just sit down somewhere
and have a coffee.
Watch the people.
BJRN
Who are you, really?
TOR
Tor :)
BJRN
That won't cut it for a shrink.
BJRN
I might take you up on your help offer.
TOR
Good :)
MONDAY, 25 AUGUS-Have you seen Elvestad?
-The patient is there already.
Excuse me.
I had a clear agreement with Egil.
I find this odd.
We had dinner this weekend,
and he said ... He promised ...
-Well, you've been appointed to me.
-Appointed to...?
If you'd like, I can check ...
-Have you seen Syland?
-Isn't he in the operating room?
I thought so, but this patient
had an appointment with him.
There must've been an error.
This is very unfortunate.
-Can't you page him?
-Not while he's in surgery.
-But I have your test results here.
-No, no. You want them from Egil.
Perhaps you could page him?
-I can check if he is indeed in surgery.
-Good.
We were having the surgery done in Hamburg.
-Since that clinic is the very best.
-As I'm sure you know.
-Except for Copenhagen.
-They are also very good.
But while talking to Hamburg,
I mentioned that we know Egil.
They said: "Why come to Hamburg,
when one of Europe's best is in Norway?"
The funny thing is that Egil's uncle,
Hkon Syland, treated my father.
Not for the same condition.
He was a heart surgeon.
And his cabin was next to my parents,
up by Mysuseter.
-I see. What a coincidence.
-Right?
Egil is an outstanding surgeon, of course.
He finished just now. He'll be down in ...
They were slightly delayed.
He'll be down in ten minutes.
Thank you.
-Sverre's father lived to be 105.
-He's gone now.
He passed away this spring, but he was
spry and sharp until the very end.
-Yes, he was.
-Few are that fortunate.
-True, and his brother is still alive.
-Not my brother. My uncle.
Yes, his uncle.
Well, he's gay, but ...
It's a shame,
since he has no heir, but ...
He's spry, absolutely.
We grow very old in our family.
-Yes ...
-Yes, we do.
105?! Some people are so unlikeable that
you want to shower after talking to them.
Were you offended?
She's afraid of losing her partner,
like everyone else. Afraid of death.
-You were not offended?
-Because he didn't want me to examine him?
Egil speaks their language.
I understand them well.
Another thing ...
Did you visit that Grindr friend of yours?
Yes, I did drop by.
I offered to help out
with grocery shopping.
That's borderline, you do get that?
You can't offer home nursing
to people you meet on Grindr.
It's none of my business,
but it goes for me as well.
I can't give someone special service
because our parents are cabin neighbours.
-No ...
-No. And another thing.
If this was some girl you'd met on Tinder,
I'd say no in a heartbeat.
But now I don't,
which is confusing to me.
Is it because both of you are men
that I become all ...
In any case,
this is a vulnerable patient, so I think ...
No, it ...
I'm not doing this to hit on him.
-I'm not interested.
-It's none of my business.
And I don't think
I'm sending mixed signals.
I'm just thinking that helping someone
buy groceries has to be okay, right?
No, you're probably right.
-Of course you're right. But listen ...
-What?
Something I've been thinking about,
which I must say. On a different note. Okay?
This has nothing to do with Grindr,
but it's something I often think about.
We do get a lot of gay patients.
I'm sure I spot them more than you do.
I can tell at once,
and what I see is that ...
Because I know the consequences
of that diagnosis for those men.
And that is something you never tell them.
You mention erectile dysfunction
and sterility,
but you hardly mention
how removing the prostate affects the sex.
You don't just lose your erection,
you also lose the ...
When you have anal sex, if someone
takes me from behind, to put it bluntly,
they press their cock against my prostate.
Which feels really nice.
It is a very large part
of the pleasure which ...
Which is lost
when you remove the prostate.
And that's just ...
I guess I feel more compassion
for gay men than for others.
I know what it actually means,
in practice.
It is a double loss, in a way.
This has never crossed my mind.
I'm sorry.
That's fine.
-And it's totally unrelated, it's just ...
-No, no.
I've thought about it so much
that I just had to say it.
I'm very glad you did.
Thank you.
Now it's been said.
TUESDAY, 26 AUGUSMy friend was supposed to help me,
but she had to take her dog to the vet.
-The one helping you with groceries?
-She'll do it tomorrow instead.
-But then you won't have anything tonight.
-That's fine.
Then I'll take you home,
and afterwards I'll go shop for you.
-No, no. You really don't have to.
-It's fine. Truly.
-Is your catheter all good?
-It's very uncomfortable, but ...
-Is it fastened well?
-It's there.
Hey ...
It's far from full.
They did show you how to drain it?
-And you got some diapers too?
-Yes.
-Did you get a prescription?
-All kinds of prescriptions. For Viagra!
-That's to help regain your erections.
-I am aware.
-Did it bother you to hear about it?
-Yes, I would say that.
They mean well, though.
It's good that they've talked about it.
It's important.
You just have to do it at your own pace.
I think we should go.
We focus on making
the patients well again.
We don't really have the capacity
for dealing with the sorrow
some may feel after surgery.
The fact that someone has invaded your
body and removed or adjusted something,
can feel like ...
Well, maybe not a violation,
but more of a forced entry, perhaps.
You wake up,
and your body feels completely different.
Some feel a sense of loss.
We can't change that,
but we'd be wise to acknowledge
that some may feel sorrow.
And that sorrow may need time to heal,
and perhaps turn into something else.
-Something else?
-Yes.
I'm not sure, but what I've learned,
is that the body is a battlefield.
We gain from taking that to heart,
taking things in stride
and not fight them.
That doesn't just go for disease.
It goes for sexuality too.
My first wife had cancer.
It was before we met.
How many times have you been married?
-Two.
-Oh.
Have you never thought about
getting married and having kids?
No.
I think I could marry again.
What makes you think
that it would work the third time?
-You think that when you're in love.
-But you've seen how that can change.
I just don't get why people
feel that need to get married.
If there is love, and you want
to be together, isn't that enough?
-There's something about making that vow.
-Which you have broken twice,
and yet you're willing
to promise it a third time?
So marriage starts with a great big lie.
And everybody knows that a lie
is a shaky foundation to build anything on.
As I see it, that makes marriage
a kind of production unit
where the primary purpose
is having children.
-That's how you see it?
-Yes.
That's basically what it is.
It starts as a joint project,
but ultimately it falls on the children
to take over the project when the parents
no longer can or will invest any more in it.
They can break up and start fresh,
but the kids are stuck with that marriage
for the rest of their lives.
-I'm sorry.
-You just tell it like it is.
I just get full of bad conscience.
But that's okay.
That's how I always feel.
Do you?
Yes, always.
I should never ask you
to marry me, then?
That's fine.
I will never do that.
Thank you.
I promise. But ...
Is it all right if I say ...
that I'm in love?
That's all right.
You can say that.
Are you always like this?
So kind?
Always.
Life is too short, you know.
Bjrn, your bag ...
I think it needs draining.
Oops. You're right.
-Need a hand?
-No, no.
No! Oh no ...
I'll be fine.
Please don't come in.
-Hey, I can ...
-I'll be fine.
-Do you have a bucket?
-Out in the kitchen.
-Underneath the worktop.
-Okay.
-Who are the people in the photos?
-Dag Hammarskjld took that one.
-It's good.
-Yes. I think it's touching.
The other one is of Palme.
Subtle homoeroticism.
-You didn't get much sleep in the hospital.
-No.
I haven't slept much since the surgery.
I've been lying awake, thinking.
About what?
About everything, really.
How pointless it has been.
Pointless?
Do you really think so?
It feels awful to say it,
but it's really starting to dawn on me.
The morning of my surgery,
I was listening to the news on the radio.
They said an HIV vaccine
would soon be available.
Yes?
The pandemic gave them an opportunity
to test the mRNA technology.
Yes, I heard.
Isn't that great?
Sure, but that very day ...
"The irony of fate",
isn't that what it's called?
Just after I came out of the closet
in the summer of 1986 ...
Before I was born.
-Really?
-Yes.
Soon after
I saw this TV documentary on AIDS.
It was like a horror movie! They said
what they usually said back then.
That AIDS was a terrible and deadly disease
that mostly affected gay men.
And I felt that I was being punished,
sort of, for daring to come out.
That it served me right.
That changed everything for me.
It scared me deeply.
If I'd had sex and got a little cum on
my skin, that was enough to terrify me.
Not to mention if I'd slept with someone
who didn't want to use a condom.
I found it hard to insist,
and I didn't like using one myself.
I was shattered afterwards.
Rushed to get tested all the time.
Sat in the clinic's waiting room
feeling filthy and ashamed.
And the three months it took
to get the final result,
I was paralyzed with anxiety.
I alternated between a fear of death
and thoughts of how to break it
to those close to me.
I lay awake at night thinking about my
parents and brothers,
how they'd have to tell others
that I was HIV positive.
Eventually,
the frustration and stress got so bad
that it seemed better
to stop having sex.
Completely.
Just skip it altogether.
Be spared of the anxiety.
But then we got medication.
It's long since it was a death sentence.
But you're still scared, right,
of getting a disease that you'll have to
take medication for the rest of your life?
And you don't know how it will affect
your body. Side effects and ...
What about PrEP?
Why didn't you test that?
Of course I should have.
I realize that now.
But when it came,
it felt like the train had left the station.
Sort of.
I don't know, I'm just so ... off.
But you are on Grindr.
-It's just to browse. I never do anything.
-Okay?
I don't think I have anything left
that could turn people on.
When I was told that I had to operate,
and Syland said
there was a good chance
I wouldn't regain my erection.
That seemed to me
like the smallest problem.
But on my way there that day,
to my surgery and likely impotence ...
Or at least sterility,
never another ejaculation ...
That day, of all days, they tell me
that a vaccine for HIV
is most likely coming.
It's as if I've come full circle.
I thought about
what you said the day we met.
That people should pull themselves together.
I don't mean that you should, but perhaps
try to avoid wallowing in self-pity.
You're not done at all.
Come to bed, now.
-Are you managing?
-Yes.
Thank you.
-What are you doing?
-I'm going to lie down with you.
-Why?
-Because I feel like it.
I'm not going to do anything,
I just want to lie next to you.
-You mustn't do it out of pity.
-No. I do it because I want to be with you.
Think of it as something good.
As a painkiller. For both of us.
I'm being serious.
Just try to relax.
WEDNESDAY, 27 AUGUSI'm off to work.
-How do you feel today?
-Not bad.
It looks good.
But the bag must be drained soon.
What is it?
-Maybe this will become weird now.
-What will?
You mustn't feel that you have to come back
just because you slept here with me.
Bjrn ...
Bjrn, Bjrn, Bjrn.
You need to have more faith in people.
Bye.
Hi, Ida.
Hi.
-Have you been sitting here long?
-I went inside, but you were still in bed.
-You're staying with Mum this week.
-I don't want to be at Mum's.
No, I get that, but ...
Go inside,
and we'll have breakfast together.
I'll just say goodbye to Marianne first.
-I'm sorry about that.
-No need to apologize. I should apologize.
Ida sits on the porch from dawn,
too scared to go into her own home
because I'm lying in the bed she usually
crawls into for comfort! That's not okay!
We'll solve this somehow.
I'll talk to Solveig.
Do you know
what I think would've been best?
If you and I had just ... met on
the Nesodden ferry one evening.
Just randomly.
Do you think that's possible?
-Oh, hi!
-Hi!
-You're sitting here?
-Yes?
-Oh, this is where you live?
-Are you coming from Ole?
-Yes.
-I told Ida not to run up there.
-I'm so sorry if she disturbed you.
-Not at all. No need to apologize.
No ... You're up early?
-I'm on my way to work.
-Right.
-So you had to leave anyway?
-Yes.
-You're up early too?
-I've been up since 3 a.m.
-Wow!
-Yes ...
Would you like a cup of coffee?
Keep me company for a little while?
-Just a little while?
-Yes ... Yes.
How nice.
Just come!
A pillow too? Thank you.
Here you go.
-Since three? You have trouble sleeping?
-A lot.
It's been like this for years.
I have been examined.
You know, they say that ...
... poor sleep shortens your life.
It's exhausting to think about.
-I get that.
-You lay awake thinking,
"now my life is getting shorter."
I don't get why they tell you that.
It's not exactly helpful.
No.
And I think many people
feel the same way.
Are you a socialist?
Yes.
Yes, I guess I am.
You're a music teacher, right?
How do you manage when you can't sleep?
I'm a trained music therapist.
But right now, I'm unemployed.
It is difficult to get a job out here.
I have considered moving back to Oslo.
I saw a job opening in Bergen.
But Ole and I agreed to live close
to each other because of the children.
But I don't know if it is
such a good thing. You know?
Sometimes I think that having to live
down here in this dip ...
I rent the first floor here, you see.
So I sit here in this dip so that the kids
can run between me and Ole.
Sometimes I think it's a punishment, really.
You don't have
a husband and children and ... so on?
-No.
-No ...
You seem so calm.
The first time I met you,
I thought you seemed so settled.
No ...
No, I really don't feel that way.
-Now I'm starting to cry.
-I'm so sorry!
It's fine, I just ...
I feel like I'm constantly hitting a wall.
Always trying to find my way.
-Sorry if I said something wrong.
-You didn't.
I honestly think
it's fine if I feel this way.
This is how it should be.
I'm so sorry ...
No, no reason to apologize.
Do you sometimes feel
like you're stuck, in a way?
In a situation, or your personality,
or in an expectation?
Completely stuck, thinking:
-"How did it end up like this?"
-Oh, absolutely. Quite often, really.
But ...
-But, listen.
-Yes?
Even if things seem impossible,
and the discouragements pile up ...
You must never stop believing
that there is a way out.
-You just have to endure?
-Yes.
"As your days are,
so shall your strength be."
-Heidi?
-Yes, that's one of Heidi's sayings.
I have to go now, or I'll be late.
Why don't Heidi, you, and I
meet up one day?
-That would be so nice!
-Go with Heidi to Oslo, and ...
-Yes!
-We could go out to eat.
I don't want to ruin anything
for you and Ole.
-You can put that behind you.
-Yes?
-You can get my number from Heidi.
-Heidi. Should I call you, or ...
-I have to go.
-I'll talk to Heidi. Of course.
-Thank you for sitting with me.
-Thanks for the coffee.
-Great talking to you. See you soon!
-You too! Yes! Bye!
-Hi!
-Are you a commuter now?
-No.
-No?
Did you spend the night
at ... what's-his-name's place?
-Yes.
-Are things going well?
-Yes.
-You look happy.
-I'm just excited about going to work.
-Okay.
No, I'm actually really happy.
It feels like I'm thinking clearly.
That's wonderful.
-And you? You look happy yourself.
-Yes?
I guess I am?
I'm also excited about going to work.
-Hi.
-Hi.
Up early?
I'm meeting with Anna and the musicians.
Did you stay over at Ole Harald's place?
How's the project going?
Have they decided about the anniversary?
Yes, it ...
Okay ...
Yes. I had an awful meeting yesterday.
But things are turning out
the way I want after all.
-Wow!
-Not the way you think.
I realized that it's just stupid
to spend that much money on a party.
I convinced them to spend it on making it
easier for people to contact the council.
So that they get help when they need it,
quite simply.
There will be a small event
on the town hall roof, like Anna suggested.
We have composed a piece
to be performed by a singer,
who's supposed to represent the "Oslo girl".
It's a so-called everyday-cantata.
That's what we're rehearsing now.
This is so much simpler,
and more meaningful, I think.
So now you don't want to quit after all?
I was planning to quit.
Think of all you've accomplished
with this, Heidi.
You can't quit now.
You're such a good thinker.
We need people like you
in the municipality.
A first for everything!
"You're needed in the municipality."
-You too. You're also needed.
-But not you?
Me? Of course.
I am the municipality.
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