Love Always, Santa (2016) Movie Script

[Lilly V.O.]
Dear Santa...
My favorite book ever
is "The Christmas Bow."
You're the main character...
but you know that.
In the chapter
at the toy store,
you tell Anabelle that
you can't wrap up
the important gifts.
I never understood
what that meant
until this year.
I'm writing because I need
the most important gift
I've ever asked for.
You will not be bland
like last year.
You will not be dry
like last year.
Just work with me here.
Yeah, I'm talking
to a turkey.
Mommy, it's ready!
No, not for another
36 hours, baby.
No, my letter.
You're cooking a turkey
for 36 hours?
I read about slow roasting
on the Internet.
It keeps it juicy.
It's a little early
for a letter to Santa, isn't it?
How many days
till Thanksgiving?
Point taken.
All right, I will give it to Ben
first thing in the morning.
Want to help
with the Ritz cracker stuffing?
Daddy loved
the Ritz cracker stuffing.
Yes, he did.
Clear that. Great.
Start with the crackers.
You scrunch them
and put them in this bowl.
Sounds good,
sounds good.
[people vocalizing]
I want to see you
This Christmas
Just see
How the snow is fallin' down
Well, I want
to see you
This Christmas
Tell good ol' Santa Claus
I'll be coming to town
Hey, Celia!
-Morning. Thank you.
-Good morning.
-How are you doing?
-Good. You have a great day.
-Come back for a cup of coffee.
-You too. All right, will do.
[women chuckling]
-Hey, Esther!
Hey. Mwah. June!
Oh, she took
her hearing aids out.
-That ditzy bird.
Oh. Hey, June!
-[Esther laughs]
Jake Granger!
-[June] Hush!
Dear, we didn't expect
to see you today.
I heard they delivered
a bunch last night.
Didn't want to leave
two pretty young ladies
-here all by themselves.
Oh, compliments
she hears just fine.
-A little light, huh?
It's Thanksgiving.
You do have somewhere
to go, right?
I'm just looking out
for our employee.
You how it's been
since the D-I-V.
[June] The man knows
how to spell "divorce."
Oh! And if you're lonesome,
you can come
have dinner with us.
Anyway, I'm fine, ladies.
I got big plans tonight.
[door opens, closes]
This is the saddest thing
I've ever seen in my life.
-Look at you.
-Did I leave the door unlocked?
I know where
you keep your spare.
Shouldn't you be
with your family?
I have three now, Jake.
I have three kids.
Are you listening to me?
I will do literally anything
to get out of the house.
Even work.
Santa Inc., huh?
Look at this.
Gimme, gimme, gimme,
more, more, more...
This one thinks
Santa and the elves
make Playstations
with their little hammers.
Jake, this is no way
for a best-selling author
to be living.
You understand that, right?
I mean, you think
Vonnegut ever pretended
to be Santa Claus
for $12 an hour?
Sober, I mean.
I like it.
I get to write.
What about real writing?
What about writing
that buys me a boat?
Appearance requests, okay?
That's a lot.
Yeah. You're still very popular,
which is amazing
considering you haven't written
anything in forever.
-Ah, it's only been...
-18 months, buddy.
Listen, I love you.
The publishing company
loves you.
Your fans obviously
still love you.
The only one
who didn't love you
was What's-Her-Face.
Divorce can be a good thing.
It can be a brush fire
clearing out the dead wood.
Do you even listen to
half the stuff that you say?
Uh, n-- no.
But luckily,
neither does the wife.
Which, speaking of,
you are invited.
Casa Green. Tonight.
For Thanksgiving.
-Yeah, no.
-We'll be having Chinese.
Happy Thanksgiving, buddy.
Don't leave me alone with them.
[singers vocalize on radio]
Oh, Christmas time
It's Christmas time
once again
-[both giggle]
- Christmas time
It's Christmas time
The snow, it falls
on them
Ooh, the snow falls
- Snow falls
- Oh, it's Christmas time
There's presents
under the tree
-[radio clicks off]
-[both] Oh! Hey!
What? It's barely Thanksgiving.
Don't be a spoilsport.
-[radio clicks on]
- It's Christmas
-[radio turns down]
-Randy is right.
I just made nine kinds
of cranberry sauce.
I am in no mood to
think about Christmas.
All right, listen up.
My sister and I put
a lot of blood,
sweat, and tears
into this meal.
-Not literally.
I have only one favor to ask.
Can we please eat
like actual people this year
and not devour this meal
in 20 minutes?
Go! Come on.
-You two, go.
-[gobbles, grunts]
Put that down.
God, Greg.
[sport commentator]
At the five, he's in!
It's gonna be
a beautiful Christmas
The halls are...
60 years of feminism,
and we're the ones
washing the dishes.
You know what Mom used to say.
Married women don't hide
in a kitchen
because we have to, but...
Because we want to.
You did not see me.
Oh, just so you know,
the turkey was amazing.
Thanks, Randy.
You're welcome.
If I, uh, if I knew
that you would have been
such a great cook
back in high school,
I definitely would have
taken you to the prom.
I would have been
like... eighth grade?
Oh. You're being sweet.
Well, I probably would have
caught my retainer in your lip,
but I would have jumped
at the chance.
Well, then maybe
we should do it.
No, uh, you know,
we should, uh...
You know, date.
I mean, if you want.
-I'm just say-- Ow.
We gonna go work
on this thing or what?
I'm just sayin'
if you made time,
I'd make time,
is what I'm sayin'.
Potato duty calls!
[laughs nervously]
Oh, come on.
Once you get past
the mustache, Randy is...
I know. Randy's great.
-he's great.
It's just I don't really
feel a--
Don't you say "spark."
-You said it.
I know. I get it.
I'm not a little girl anymore.
Sparks and magic and...
dashing through the snow
at midnight.
Ugh, love really is
the last fairytale
we believe in,
isn't it?
It's not your fault, sis.
Bradley set the bar
impossibly high.
So what, I'm supposed
to lower the bar?
Randy's got dental insurance
and cares about you.
You can convince him
to shave the mustache later
or I will.
You should go on a date.
[Christmas carol
playing on radio]
Hark the Herald angels sing
Glory to the newborn king
[Lilly V.O.] This will be
the third Christmas
without my daddy...
and my mommy now
isn't the mommy I remember.
At the beginning
of "The Christmas Bow,"
Annabelle loses her light.
That's my mommy.
She doesn't believe that
she'll ever be in love
like she was before.
I don't want anything else
this year.
I just want my mommy to smile
like she used to.
You've never let me down
before, Santa.
Now my mom needs you.
Bring back her light.
[Jake V.O]
Dear Lilly...
People wonder how
I could live in the North Pole
with all that snow
and darkness.
But what people don't realize
is that I'm only ever
one hot chocolate away
from feeling warm and jolly...
and ready to get back
to making toys.
Love is a lot
of things, Lilly...
but to me, the most
wonderful thing about it
is that it can be just as
sudden and sweet
as hot chocolate.
A hint of it
in the cold night air
is all I need
to start smiling.
No one can replace your daddy.
But maybe we can find
some words to remind your mommy
that the world
isn't that dark...
or cold.
What are we doing?
I'm trying to imagine
the Christmas decorations.
I want to do something big
with the cafe this year.
Oh. Can I help?
What are we doing?
Just imagining, Ben.
Oh. Well, the world certainly
could use a lot more of that.
I have a special delivery here
for you, young lady,
from the North Pole.
Mom, can I be excused
from my imagination?
I wish everybody got
that excited about the mail.
Well, stop bringing bills
and I'll throw a parade.
-See you tomorrow!
Is everything okay?
I was just thinking.
We don't go to
the wishing well anymore.
You mean on Christmas Eve.
That was always the best part,
you, me, and Daddy
getting all bundled up
and going out there.
It felt like magic.
Your dad always
made it so special.
I think I've been afraid
that if I take you out
by myself, it'll be
a disappointment.
Does this have something to do
with the letter?
Promise you won't be mad?
What, did you ask Santa
for a kangaroo or something?
It's just...
I know you don't like
to talk about Dad.
No. Oh, Lilly, no.
You know, you can talk
to me about your dad
whenever you want.
Not me and you.
I mean, with other grown-ups.
Like Aunt Helen.
Or Santa.
I'm confused.
[Jake V.O.]
Now, I understand
the difficulty paired
with the loss of someone
whom you love dearly.
We all feel sadness.
Even me.
But with loss comes wishes.
A wish for everything
to be okay.
For everything to be again
as it once was.
With time, Lilly...
our wishes do come true.
And in that miracle lies
the magic of the human soul.
There's a saying I heard
delivering toys in Ireland
that I feel you should know.
Love leaves a memory
no one can steal.
Love always,
Well, I-- I don't know
what to say.
[chuckles] Mr. Best-Seller
has no words!
I could set off
a firecracker,
she wouldn't even flinch.
You think I overdid the red?
Oh, you overdid everything.
[both chuckle]
Who's "Lilly's Mom"?
Did you write
an eight-page
handwritten letter to someone
named "Lilly's Mom"?
And it's addressed to
"Love always, Santa."
Ooh, and you set off fireworks
in every corner of her mind!
Ooh, this reads better
than my romance novels!
I think I may have under-did it
on the red.
Boy, did she ever!
What are you waiting for?
[Esther chuckles]
[Celia V.O.]
Although the past few years
have been the most defining
of my life,
moments of happiness grace it...
and every single one
of those moments are tethered
to my little angel, Lilly.
I can't thank you enough
for the time,
the thoughtful time
it must have taken
to answer Lilly's letter.
It moved us both to tears.
In a world where keyboards
and touchscreens rule our lives,
I cannot express
how giddy I feel
to actually hand-write this.
Well, "giddy" is not
the right word.
Words can sometimes hide
from our hearts,
but that is the perfect word
for this moment.
I feel classic.
I feel a tremor in my hand
as I write this.
Maybe it's the wine.
Maybe it's the wonder.
[Jake V.O.] I should be
thanking you and your daughter.
Her letter sparked
something in me.
And it's been a long time
since I've written anything.
[Celia V.O.]
I used to love to write...
and read.
But the time keeps
slipping away.
So much to do.
I feel like I'm measuring out
my life in coffee spoons.
[Jake V.O.]
Coffee spoons?
You're an Eliot fan, too?
So many amazing words.
Eyes that fix you
in a formulated phrase.
[Celia V.O.] I fell in love
with Eliot in college.
Who doesn't love
a literary man?
[Jake V.O.]
You'd be surprised.
It's hard writing.
Most of the writers I know
like having written a lot more
than actually writing.
[Celia V.O.]
So is that a clue, mystery man?
Are you a writer?
[Jake V.O.]
I am when I write to you.
You've been writing
two letters a day.
I have to keep up.
[Celia V.O.] Just wait till
I get to three.
Whoa, they're all yours.
[Celia V.O.]
I can get pretty annoying.
[Lilly V.O.]
P.S. Hey, Santa.
It's Lilly.
I saw my mom
reading a letter
on that special,
super-cool paper!
My mom and Santa
are penpals!
[car honks]
P.P.S. I know this time
of the year is busy for you,
so just let me know
if she's bothering you.
[Celia V.O.]
P.P.P.S. Sorry about that.
Lilly is kind of an unstoppable
force of nature.
[Jake V.O.]
I can see that.
[Celia V.O.]
Maybe I should get her
to work on
figuring out your name.
[Jake V.O.]
You can have mine
just as soon as
you tell me yours.
What's going on?
Why do you think
something is going on?
Nobody is that happy
to get mail.
Well, it's just...
This is just...
Oh, God. Having to
say it out loud,
it doesn't make any sense.
I'm writing Santa Claus.
I'm writing Santa Claus.
I'm writing Santa Claus.
I'm writing Santa Claus.
It's just some guy
from this Santa Inc. place.
Lilly wrote them
because she thought
I was still sad about...
Anyway, what he wrote back
was so beautiful and perfect,
and I wrote him back and then
we got to writing each other.
I mean. I don't know
how to put it.
It became something.
That letter is like
this fake sugar right here.
It feels like it's sweet,
but really it's just
a lot of nothing.
You know, that's
a really good simile.
I know, right?
We're not 16 anymore,
passing notes back and forth.
Randy's not your ideal.
So what?
You're not his ideal either.
And most importantly,
he is actually here.
It's not settling.
It's being realistic.
Yes. Yes.
[Jake V.O.] I'm not sure what
stopped the flood of letters...
It's been a few days
since I've heard from you...
but it already feels...
[phone trilling]
[Jake] Hank, remember
those appearance requests?
The author of, like,
the best book ever!
He's coming!
He's gonna be--
All this fuss
over a book?
What is all this?
Are you guys...
going on a date?
That's right.
Took 20 years,
but your mom has finally agreed
to go line dancing with me.
Be nice.
Line dancing?
This is too weird.
I'm going home.
Remember, Mom!
At the bookstore,
tomorrow afternoon,
Jake Granger!
All right, little mama.
You ready?
[with a drawl]
Ready as I'll ever be.
Let's do it.
Now there's no such thing
as too much.
-[potato firing echoes]
-[both gasp]
Dude, I told you.
The air pressure is too high.
That's the whole point.
Yeah, well not if
the potato evaporates.
We're gonna run out
of potatoes, Greg.
Hey, there are
plenty of potatoes--
The Hammer is
a precious instrument.
So weird.
Imagine if Greg paid attention
to me the way he did that gun.
I might not feel so...
Anyway, how was last night?
It was line dancing.
You didn't like cauliflower
at first either.
It'll grow on you.
Are you talking
about line dancing
or are you talking
about Randy?
[Hank] I-- I should have got
the rental insurance.
Maybe they won't notice.
-Do you have a plan
on how you're gonna
meet Mrs. Right?
The first thing
Lilly mentioned in her letters
that her all-time favorite book
is "The Christmas Bow."
Well, good.
I hope she bought two.
So, I'm thinking if my book
is her favorite, then...
There's no way
she won't be at the reading.
Okay. Makes sense,
but how are you gonna know
which one is her
or specifically Mom?
Kinda hopin' I'll just know.
Okay. That's a great plan.
You know what I would do?
Look for an old lady
in a kitten sweater.
As always,
your support
is appreciated, Hank.
I'm here, aren't I?
Okay, I'm gonna go.
Have fun.
We were just answering
the very important question of
how snow people
all come to be.
Just appear from the air?
-[children laugh]
-"Question," said Mama,
"Let's see, maybe it's time
that I tell you the tale of
how snow people
all come... to be."
[children laugh]
-Here. Would you mind?
-Thank you.
Mr. Granger!
I want to be
a writer like you!
Can you tell me
how to do that?
And also, would you like
a donut and some hot chocolate
at my mom's store?
-[woman laughs]
-It's right there!
Looks like I gotta go take
a meeting.
[woman chuckles]
Come on!
How many books
have you written?
-[Jake] Six.
-Is it hard to get published?
Well, after the first one
sold two million copies, no.
What about that first one?
Almost impossible.
And how did you do it?
I didn't stop trying.
And how did you do that?
I had someone
who believed in me.
Try again. Less mushy.
Well, okay.
Um, I knew I was good,
so I made it my job
to convince the publishers
of the same thing.
And that took four years,
but eventually,
this guy named Hank,
he read my manuscript,
and he signed me.
We wish you
a Merry Christmas
And a happy new year
Please bring us
some figgy pudding
Please bring us
some figgy pudding
Last question.
-Do you need a partner?
And if so...
would you consider
an eight-year-old?
Almost nine.
[Celia] Lilly, I told you
not to bother Mr. Granger.
I was pitching him.
[Celia] Oh, well, that's
so much different
than bothering him.
Hi, I'm Celia Banks.
It's really no problem.
The hot chocolate
was well worth it.
Oh. Granger.
Jake Granger.
That's my name.
Uh, Jake Granger is...
my... name.
I think she's got it.
[Celia and Jake chuckle]
We have an open mic night
on Sunday, and, uh,
Lilly's gotten in her head
she wants to be a writer.
-Not a real writer.
I want to write
children's books.
Open mic, huh?
Are you doing one
this Sunday?
Mr. Granger, you should
come to a reading!
Oh, no, Lilly.
I'm sure that
Mr. Granger doesn't have
time to do that.
Oh. Okay.
Yeah, absolutely.
I don't fly out
until the next day.
Christmas Eve.
I've been told
that's an easy travel day, so.
[all chuckle]
Well, um...
please, um, tell us,
how did you make your way here?
You doing research
for your new book
on little towns?
'Cause towns don't get
much smaller.
Yeah, I, uh...
Yeah, I-- I wasn't planning
on doing this so soon,
but I guess you gotta go
with what you feel, right?
Uh, I thought you were
working on the potato gun.
Uh, one,
it's a cannon, and B,
stupid Greg wouldn't listen
to me about the air pressure.
What's up?
I'm Randy with a 'Y'.
-The famous author!
-[Randy] Oh, right!
Cool. How did--
how did it go for you?
It went--
You know, actually...
it was really draining.
Hey, reading wears me out too.
Yeah. Uh...
I was gonna go back
to the hotel.
I just gotta get
some rest, you know?
Uh, it was...
it was a pleasure.
Are you sure that
you can't stick around?
-We have--
The man is tired.
Come on.
Yeah, so...
[Celia] I'm really sorry
about that.
We can work out the details
of the partnership
later on Sunday.
At the open mic.
Oh. Yeah. Right.
That you promised
you'd be at.
Yep. I'll be there.
This was stupid.
I don't want to say
I told you so, so--
It's so stupid!
I'm just gonna say
I don't want to say
I told you so, and let you
fill in the blank.
I've read 70 pages
of what's in
this woman's soul, Hank,
and it's not a guy
with a potato cannon.
Wait, what?
It doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter? Tell that
to the rental car company.
Okay, listen, buddy,
you took your shot.
You were romantic
out the wazoo.
You want a take-away from this?
Here's your take-away.
-You're still very popular.
Okay? People want to see you.
So, here's what we do.
Book a tour.
-No, listen.
We go to every major city
that has a luxury hotel
and a time zone inconvenient
for my wife to call.
Okay, Jake.
My dad used to say
there's only one way
to mend a broken heart.
-What's that?
Okay, he was divorced
four times,
but the logic is sound.
-I'll do the tour.
Okay. All right,
I'll get on the phone.
We'll get on
the first flight out of here.
But I'm staying
through the weekend.
I gotta do the open mic
like I said I would.
I promised her.
[Jake V.O.]
I saw you today.
I was 13 again.
All butterflies
and insecurity.
But your situation is different
than I hoped it would be.
I'm not 13 anymore
and it's not
in my nature to pout.
If this can't be a romance,
it'll just have to
be a connection.
I would be grateful
for a moment of either.
You'll get this after I leave.
I don't know how much time
we'll have together,
but you should know how much
this connection has meant to me.
And just in case I never get
the guts to tell you,
you should also know
who I really am.
Love always,
We wound up working
through the night,
but it was totally worth it.
Oh, and I finally
talked Greg down
from that over-pressure jag
thing he was on.
Come here.
See, people always think
it's PSI. It's not.
It's measured PSI
over a surface area.
You know, balance.
Ooh, come here.
You're cute.
I'll be a lot cuter when
I win the Veggie Toss tomorrow.
Randy, can we...
can we talk
about you calling me "babe"?
-We went on a date.
We're not dating yet.
What? Why are you smiling?
'Cause you said "yet."
Okay, ixnay
on the abe-bay thing.
I got it.
Oh, it's 7:00 a.m.
You're officially open.
-Can I do the, uh...
Yes! Thank you.
Not too early, am I?
Someone's not happy with you.
Lilly's nook.
It's sort of understood that
on the weekends, this is hers.
-I had no idea.
-I know,
and that's the only reason
you're not dead right now.
She's an amazing kid.
She's scary,
but amazing.
[Helen clears her throat]
Do you need to get back
to something?
No, um, but
I can take your order.
Oh. Okay.
Well, I'll have
the To Ham and Ham Not
and to drink,
The Old Man and the Tea.
Celia, I know
I just met you, but...
I think you have a problem.
Hemingway puns.
I mean, it always starts off
as some light wordplay
on the weekends,
you know, just for kicks,
but the next thing
you know, you're hooked!
-And you're spending all night
strung out looking for a pun
for "Kilimanjaro."
Oh, you have not seen
the side of pickle.
It's worse than I thought!
-It's so good!
Come with me.
-Come on.
I originally wanted
a T. S. Eliot theme,
but Bradley was always
so good at debates,
so Hemingway.
Oh, wow.
You guys did
a ton of traveling.
Mm, well we had all of that
grad school money rolling in.
Ooh, that's Cuba, right?
La Bodeguita?
Yeah, del Medio.
One of Hemingway's
haunting grounds.
Yeah. That must have been
amazing to see in person.
Haven't seen it yet.
When Lilly figured out
that her surprising arrival
on the scene interrupted
all this travel,
she made me make a list
of all the places
that her father
and I never got to
before he passed away.
And this was her favorite.
"We need some
new memories, Mommy."
So Lilly's gonna
take you to Cuba?
I like that you hung it here
with all the other pictures.
Oh, yeah?
Why is that?
Well, most people treat
vacations like an escape.
But you don't do that.
I mean, this isn't about going
some place sunny.
Your hope for the future grows
right out of all the love
that you had in the past.
What, are you analyzing me
for English class?
No, this is real life.
Besides, I've never read
a story or a poem as beautiful.
Not everyone can live
a life of letters.
Well, sometimes letters
are all you have.
You have no idea.
[tapping broom]
Maybe that's a sign
you should put my order in.
-Uh. the ham and tea.
Oh, actually, can you
make that to go?
Which I think that
Hemingway might call...
"A Movable Feast."
I-- Wow, I can't believe
at five years
that we just thought of that.
Christmas Fair.
Excuse me?
My mom is going to be
at the Christmas Fair tonight.
I mean, if you wanted
to see her again.
Oh. Um...
I-- I had plans to...
Tell me where this
Christmas Fair might take place.
-You were flirting.
-You're wrong.
First Santa Claus
and now this guy?
Anything else
you want to tell me?
You and Greg have
something on the side?
'Cause that's the only one
I'm okay with.
[piano playing]
[choir] We wish you
a merry Christmas
We wish you
a merry Christmas
We wish you
a merry Christmas
And a happy new year
Good tidings we bring
To you and your kin
Good tidings for Christmas
And a happy new year
You look anxious.
Think I know what it is.
You're worried
I'm not gonna share
any of my maple syrup,
and you're right. I will not.
Yeah, none of this
feels like me.
Listen, you got married
at what, 11?
-Same difference.
Here's the thing.
You're not in high school.
You're not going steady.
You're allowed to go
to the Mayberry Fair
and say hello to her and Gomer.
If I'm being honest with myself,
I don't want to just say hello
to her, I want to
tell her everything
-and I want to--
-Unwrap her presents.
No. Well, yes, I do.
-But I won't.
She's with somebody
and I gotta respect that.
That's right, 'cause you are
the Incredible Hulk of guilt,
and that's fine,
but here's the thing.
As your friend
and more importantly as
the person who makes 7%
on every book you sell,
I think it's good
that you found
a woman that thrilled you.
It's, you know, it's nice
you can go in there
and throw some platonic sparks,
become yourself again.
Yeah. Hank,
for once, you're right.
For once?
-[Lilly] Jake!
I'm over here!
Lilly! Hi!
All right, I-- I'm gonna
let you deal with this.
Can I trust you?
With what?
I have this book
that I wrote
and Mike Sullivan did
the drawings for me.
-But I don't like him.
Okay. Who said you did?
I just don't want people to get
the wrong idea.
If I give it to you,
then, well...
I couldn't show it to somebody
even if I wanted to.
-We're partners.
There's laws against that stuff.
Okay. Well, I don't have it
with me right now,
but I can drop it off
at the front desk of your hotel.
-And even if my mom begs...
Cross my heart.
Speaking of your mom,
is she around anywhere?
I have the same problem
with Mike Sullivan.
-What the what?
-I'm here to relieve her.
Hey Mom!
You're late!
And Mr. Granger's here!
What? Oh, hi!
I have to go watch Randy.
I know. I'll be fine.
Go have fun.
I didn't know
that you would be here.
Are you disappointed?
It's just that I have to
be a cheerleader.
An elf and a cheerleader.
I know, right?
Throw in my pleated
plaid skirt from Catholic school
and I'm a triple threat.
[both chuckle]
Well, will you, uh...
walk me to
the potato gun contest?
If I had a quarter
for every time I heard that.
-This way.
-All right.
Okay, let's get you
talking to Santa.
Hey, Lilly.
Mike Sull... ivan.
Do-- do you wanna...
Holy night
All is calm
All is bright
Round yon
Virgin Mother and Child
Greg and, uh,
and Randy are in the--
-[potato gun fires]
-[announcer] Yes!
And the winner
of this year's Veggie Toss
are Randy and Greg!
[cheers and applause]
Uh, all right! Hey!
I'd like to thank,
uh, my best friend
and partner...
Mr. Randy Eggwater!
-All right!
-[cheers and applause]
Come on!
Oh, Greg.
Jake, Jake, it was the most
amazing thing I've ever seen!
Well, Celia,
this is Hank Green.
Hi. It's nice to meet you.
This all makes sense now.
-[choir] Silent night
Holy night
I-- I have a brainstorm
I gotta work out.
Helen! Hel-- Helen!
I thought that this year
I would do more
than just work the fair.
Hey, I think that
I just lost my date too.
Well, I have an idea.
I mean, you can't write a book
about small town America
at not see the Christmas Fair.
-You think?
-I know.
This really is
something special.
It's my favorite thing.
Think it's gonna start to snow.
When I first moved back here,
I was sulking
like a big baby.
All my dreams involved
late city nights.
-You know?
But then my husband
signed us up
to do the Santa's Workshop.
Without telling me.
And I just loved it.
This is why
I don't talk about stuff.
Anyway, we do it every year.
That's beautiful.
I mean, everything
except for this hat.
The hat is awful.
I know. It turned out so bad.
-I tried really hard.
-Not hard enough, apparently.
Hands and feet stay
inside at all times
and don't drop any items
out of the car.
Got it?
Merry Christmas.
Hands and feet stay
inside at all times
and don't drop any items
out of the car.
You're not cold, are you?
Outdoor carnival ride
in -45 degree temperatures?
Why would I be cold?
It's good for ya.
You know, I think
desperate times...
-dun dun dun.
Here you go.
No-- Oh!
Don't look down
or we're in trouble.
[both chuckling]
Stupid people can't follow
the stupid rules.
Hands and feel stay inside
at all times.
So you're afraid
of heights, aren't you?
[breathing heavily]
[both chuckle]
So you're afraid of heights,
you don't like the cold.
Yeah, I know, I know.
And I'm terrible
at throwing a baseball.
My dad is still disappointed.
No, it's just...
I mean, why did you
come up here?
Because you wanted to.
It's so strange,
I know that
we just met, but...
it just feels like I know you.
It's actually not so strange.
You go home Monday?
That's a shame.
There's a lot more to see.
Okay, there's not
a lot more to see.
But I...
I just would like it
if you stayed.
[ferris wheel moves]
People gotta learn
to follow the rules!
I should go.
Uh, thank you for taking me
on the ferris wheel.
-Uh, Celia--
-I've gotta go pick up Lilly!
Uh, I'll see you tomorrow?
I'm keeping this.
Celia and I went
on the ferris wheel together.
Are you speaking in code?
No. It felt...
Whatever it was,
we both felt it.
I don't think that Randy
and Celia belong together.
Nobody belongs together.
Look, Hank, I'm being serious.
All right?
I need to know somethin'.
I'm not a bad person, am I?
No? Tomorrow,
if I go for it
and tell her who I am
and that we already
know each other,
look, I just need to know
that I'm not a bad person.
You're not a bad person.
-That's it?
-Yeah, that's it.
I'm the other woman.
In all this hullabaloo,
did it even occur to you
to find out how many dates
Randy and Celia have been on?
Well, yeah. She said that
they've known each other since--
Having a conversation
with my new client, Randall--
we're doing a book tour.
"American Potato Guns:
A Journey."
It'll be a blockbuster.
And he makes mention
that he and Celia have been
on exactly...
One date?
You're not Mr. Wrong.
You're Mr. Right.
I mean, they are technically--
You know, known each other
for 25 years.
Oh, come on, Hank!
Be serious here!
I am being serious.
You be serious, okay?
Stop acting like
an eighth grade girl
and be adult about this.
Use your eyes.
Go there tomorrow! If it seems
like the real deal, back off.
Otherwise, I've heard tell
rumors on the Internet
that there are some women
that might like a guy who's rich
and young
and famous, okay?
For the sake of Pete, when did
this become so complicated?
Cheese and crackers!
I forgot that
this was my room.
You're a good friend, Hank.
I'm a good friend.
Put that in my eulogy.
[door opens]
[knock on door]
Is everything okay?
-[Randy] Yeah!
-[door closes]
Just wanted to come over
and celebrate with my girl.
I won the Veggie Toss.
Oh! And, and some guy
wants me to go...
on a Potato Cannon Tour
with him.
[sighs] Feels like
a night of dreams.
Randy, that's great. Really.
I'm really happy
for you, but...
Look, I'm not your girl.
Uh, what?
I think that this is...
moving too fast.
We've known each other
20 years.
It seems to me like
it's not moving fast enough.
I think we need to talk.
Come on, don't say that.
Don't say that.
Nothing good ever happens
when a girl says, "I think
we really need to talk."
Hot chocolate?
Thanks, babe.
Oh, my god.
["O Tannenbaum" playing]
Any chance this could
get delivered before Christmas?
No guarantees, my dear.
But you never know.
It is that time of year
for miracles.
Thank you.
Hi, hi...
-It's so good to see you.
Thank you for coming.
So much. Oh, hi.
-Oh, hi.
Thanks for coming,
but I gotta get up, so sit down.
Hi, everyone, and welcome to
The Bun Also Rises Open Mic.
[Celia] So we have
a lot to get through,
so let's just get started.
First up, give a big welcome
to Mikey!
Thank you, everybody.
You're like a little ninja.
Okay, let's start
with the illustrations.
We do not negotiate
about Mike Sullivan.
Okay, well...
Look, I feel a little bit rude
talking during the Open Mic.
How about I just
write up the notes?
Does that sound fair?
You're gonna tell me
it's bad, aren't you?
No, Lilly. It doesn't matter
what I say.
Look, here's the thing
about being a writer.
Lots of people are gonna
call you crazy.
All right?
They called me crazy.
It's a stupid, dumb, ridiculous
thing to want to be, all right?
But you keep at it.
And you never stop believing
because one day,
that stupid, dumb,
ridiculous thing
isn't stupid or dumb
or ridiculous.
It's just real.
And it's yours.
All right.
I'll get your notes.
-Do you have a reading?
-Yeah, I got a little somethin'.
-Yeah! All right!
That's as much as I wrote.
[Celia] That was great, Mikey.
Thank you.
-Thank you.
-You did really great.
Okay, next we have Jerry.
[microphone feedback]
Because sometimes...
cold is hot...
and others' hot...
is cold.
Okay, let's hear it
for Jerry, everybody!
Thank you! [quietly]
It's-- it's too long of a poem.
Our little stage
has had, uh...
many writers on it,
but never one
with this pedigree.
So, please give
a warm welcome
to the internationally
best-selling author
of "The Christmas Bow,"
Mr. Jake Granger.
I don't actually have
a-- a poem or...
a short story.
In fact, I think maybe
I-- I should have come up
with a less dramatic way
of-- of doing this.
Th-- this is the first time
that I've...
attempted one
of these, actually.
It's, um...
it's a confession.
What did you do?
Hold that thought!
Sorry, man. I'm sorry.
This will only, uh, this will
only take one hot minute.
Thank you. Thank you.
Um, hi.
Um, okay, so everybody here
knows that I'm, uh...
you know, not a poet.
But everybody here also knows
how I feel about
Cindy Lou Who over there, right?
We both took a lot
of left turns,
to, you know, get back
in town here, together,
so I wanted to do
something very spectacular
for her, so, uh...
Celia, will you come
up here please?
Roses are red.
They are so red.
even more blue.
"Lilly Eggwater"?
And I really...
want to go to Cuba with you.
[Randy chuckles]
That's right.
Cuba, baby.
Huh? [whispers] I spent
my advance book money on these.
[paper ripping]
Hey, Lilly.
Uh, hey, I'll be in touch
about the book, okay?
I promise.
Why are you leaving?
I, uh...
I gotta get ahead
of the snow.
Oh. What snow?
[both chuckle]
I'll see you later, partner.
"Love always,
Hey, listen.
You know, it's, uh...
maybe for the best.
You know?
-[tires sliding]
Are you kidding me?
-It-- it's not my fault.
-Look at this.
It's ice. I don't live in ice.
I live in... nice places
that don't have this.
-This is ridiculous.
-It's not my--
-Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey.
[Jake] We're the only car
on the road.
This is the first place
we've seen in miles.
Be careful. This could be
a murder house.
It's just for the night.
How about some lights in here?
Yeah, well, the murderer
would hide them.
That would be a good move
on his part.
Why are you such
a big baby?
I'm not being a baby.
I don't know why--
It's just showing good--
it's showing good thinking
-to not be afraid.
-There's some lights in here.
-Okay. All right.
-All right, all right.
-Here we go.
Gonna hug you in case
it's a murder house.
I'm just hugging.
Is it a murder house?
All right, I'm going to bed.
Santa's workshop.
No, no, no.
Listen, I get what you're
saying. The flight's canceled.
I know it's canceled. I'm not
on the flight, so I know.
Okay, here's what
I need to know.
When is the next flight?
Oh, you don't know?
Well, okay, do you have
The Weather Channel?
Because I'll tell you
what I have.
I have 300 years worth
of farmers' almanacs.
Maybe I could-- You wanna know
what happens in 1908?
'Cause I can make
that work for you.
[sighs] All right, listen.
I'll level with you.
I-- I just had my third kid,
and, um...
I-- I wanna
get home, all right?
It's Christmas. I want
to get home, and...
I miss my family.
So, I'm sorry I yelled.
I'll find my tickets.
I'm sure they're
in here somewhere.
Hang on.
I have them.
Or no, I don't actually.
She's still asleep?
Well, she stayed up
waiting for you.
Sometimes it takes Randy a while
for things to sink in.
You're not mad
at me, are you?
Why would I be mad?
Just because you had
a sure thing
and threw it away
for some shifty, no-good author
who skipped town
in the middle of the night?
Guy gets tickets to Cuba,
you say no?
He missed
the whole point of Cuba.
It doesn't matter.
I know why you did it.
You wanted your happy ending.
Your big, romantic moment.
You know, that agent
of Jake's made an offer
to Randy and Greg.
He wants to do a book
on their stupid potato gun,
take 'em out
on the road,
take pictures of 'em
at various festivals.
-Oh, man.
-Of course.
Another way
to leave me here alone.
What are you trying to say?
You were always the smart one.
The pretty woman.
I tried to tell myself
I was just looking out for you,
but it wasn't that.
I wanted you to have my life
so I wouldn't have to feel
so alone all the time.
-I'm not mad at you.
I'm proud of you.
You had the guts to try
for your happily ever after.
And it turned out
How do you think I feel?
I'm getting dumped
for a potato gun.
Oh, it's a cannon.
[knock on door]
-Uh, Randy--
-Maybe I should go.
No, no, no, this will
just take a second.
I wanted to drop off your stuff.
Randy, I didn't keep anything
at your house.
Well, then I guess it's just
a box of stuff I didn't need.
Merry Christmas.
Are you okay?
Well, I gotta admit, it was...
a pretty dark night.
-Then Greg came over.
-Greg? My Greg?
You know it, lamb-chop.
Anyhow, you know,
we started talking
about relationships and stuff,
and he was trying to explain
to me why he couldn't go on
the Potato Cannon Tour with me.
I was, like...
you know, sad.
'Cause... double rejection.
Then Greg said
being with Helen
was like getting a new truck.
You know that feeling
you get in the morning
when you see it
the day after you bought it?
You're like,
"Man, I bought a new truck!"
I mean, except he says he feels
like that every morning.
And that's when
what you said to me,
it made sense.
I mean, we're not
each other's new trucks.
We're just, you know...
two people looking for a ride.
He called me a new truck?
He called you
an eight-cylinder Hemi.
That's what he called you.
Oh, that's--
It's a good thing.
I gotta go.
[door opens, closes]
You're pretty amazing
sometimes, Randy.
Yeah, I know.
You too, Cee-lo.
[door opens, closes]
Jake Granger's Santa Claus!
[Celia V.O.] It's fitting
it happened on a ferris wheel...
because everything is spinning.
I know it's silly
and I know I just met him,
but we somehow...
we understand each other.
There was a connection.
Electric and...
and magical.
But it was real.
He felt it too.
It made it clear to me that
I'm headed toward the wrong man.
I have been letting pressure
and inertia take me places
I didn't want to go.
You might not be Santa,
but you're already responsible
for one actual miracle.
You convinced me love was real
and possible again.
And now I've met a man
who it might be possible with,
and I don't know
what to do.
Tell me you have
one more miracle in you.
You have to go to her.
Did you read my letter?
Well, I, you know,
I was-- I was looking
for the plane tickets,
and I--
Let's not get bogged down
with details, all right?
Let's just get to the point.
You're the one that said
this whole thing is stupid.
Number one, that's before
I knew it was real,
number two, did you read
the same letter I did?
You're a romantic!
All right,
here's what we'll do.
We'll wait till the snow gets
down to pre-Ice Age levels--
No, it's gotta be today.
It's Christmas Eve.
I'm Santa, remember?
You'll freeze to death.
I'm gonna get dressed.
You find me a ride.
Great, well, they have us
on B. and E. already.
Might as well throw in
"grand theft tractor."
Same fancy paper,
same handwriting,
Jake's Santa.
Jake, right?
Listen, Lilly,
about Santa--
Oh, jeez, Mom.
Let's just talk turkey.
I mean, Jake must have
been the guy who answered
my letter from Santa Inc.
Which is obviously
the human face
of Santa's operation.
I should have been able
to figure this out.
I mean, how many guys
do I expect to quote
early 20th century authors
to me in a month?
Mom, we need to go find him.
But we don't even know
where he is.
The airport.
We just look for
the silliest red jacket.
Well, it's snowing
like crazy out there.
Mike Sullivan has
a snowmobile.
I've heard.
I'm not even sure
that I want to see him.
Jake lied to me.
To you, too.
Remember when
we went to the mall
and we saw Santa smoking
behind the parking garage?
And you told me that it was
just one of Santa's helpers?
Isn't there such a thing
as good lies sometimes?
This is my wish coming true.
But I said no!
We need to go.
Well, he left us, Lilly!
[door slams shut]
[Celia] You know,
you and your father...
he believed in magic
like you did.
So much that he made me
believe in magic too.
When he died...
I just didn't know
who I was anymore.
The real world stinks, Lilly.
It really, really stinks.
And it just took me
a really long time
to find that magic again.
When you wrote that letter.
I think that you're right.
I think that we should
go find him again.
Oh, honey.
But not tonight.
Tonight is about you and me.
And the magic starts here.
Right, uphill. Of course.
[horse neighs]
You know, if someone
had bothered to ask me
what I wanted
for Christmas this year,
I would have said
to feel like a kid again.
[Jake chuckles]
What's in there?
[horse neighs]
Go get her.
Yah! Yah!
Oh! No yah! No yah!
Ya! Oh! Whoa, whoa!
Ho! Ho! Ho!
It's Christmas Eve!
Oh, you are gonna
have to bundle up more,
young lady,
if we're going out there.
Out where?
Daddy's wishing well.
[snowmobile humming]
How are we gonna get--
Mike Sullivan has a snowmobile.
I've heard.
Michael, thank you so much
for coming on such short notice.
We will be back
as fast as we can.
It's Christmas Eve.
We can't just leave him here
on Christmas Eve.
You have a kitchen?
Fully stocked.
Take your time then.
You rode all the way
out here in a blizzard
and you're just gonna
turn around and go home again?
What are you, dumb?
Your mom said
you needed something.
Anyway, thank you
for the snowmobile.
We owe you one.
We're going
to the wishing well--
Lilly, breathe.
You want us to make
a wish for you?
I already got mine.
That kid is smooth.
[snowmobile humming]
Everything seems smaller since
the last time we were here.
Funny, I was thinking how much
bigger everything looked.
It's not the same, Mom.
I miss Daddy.
I know, honey.
I miss him too.
You know, it's not
gonna be the same.
But it's gonna be okay.
And it's gonna be okay
because we have each other.
Now that's our magic.
Why don't we get you your wish
and get you home?
It's just the letter.
Finding our way back here...
we did that.
Me and you.
It feels like the moral is
if you want something done,
you gotta get out there
and do it yourself.
And maybe we don't need
magic anymore.
That's the most adult thing
you've ever said.
And I hate it.
We did not go
through all of this
for you to come out
the other side
sounding like an accountant.
Oh! Lilly!
You learned
a really good lesson.
But here's another one
that I want you to listen to
and I want you to remember.
Never stop being a little girl.
And never stop
believing in Santa.
And never, ever stop
believing in silly wishes.
Because it is Christmas time
and it is the time
for silly wishes.
Mom, what are you doing?
Fate, be kind.
[coin jingles]
[horse neighs]
[horse clopping]
It's a horse?
Celia! Lilly!
Oh, oh...
I'm Santa!
I... I'm out of breath.
We figured it out, Jake.
You're "Love, always,
Are you mad?
Oh yeah.
I have so much
to say to you.
-[Jake] All right.
-[Jake and Celia chuckle]
You stole
a one-horse open sleigh.
I still feel like we're gonna
be on the naughty list.
Jake, quick question.
How the heck did you find us?
Well, I just pointed the sleigh
and hoped that Christmas magic
would take care of the rest.
And I guess it did.
Christmas magic?
You went to
our house first, right?
And Mike Sullivan told you
where to go.
It's okay, Mike Sullivan
is pretty magical.
But no more secrets, okay?
We're partners.
Okay, "Dashing
Through the Snow"
on three, two, one!
Dashing through the snow
In a one-horse
open sleigh
Over the fields we go
Laughing all the way,
Ha, ha, ha
Bells on bob-tails ring
[Lilly] Mom, we can't
leave the snowmobile.
Guys, I stole a horse.
It'll be fine.
O, jingle bells,
jingle bells
Jingle all the way
O what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse
open sleigh, hey!
[singing continues]