Love by the 10th Date (2017) Movie Script

'I don't even know why you
make me work with this stuff anyway.'
'What do you mean?'
'Because it's horse hair.'
'It's good stuff.'
There's some little
Indian girl walking around India
lookin' for her hair.
Mm-mm. She my friend.
And what you really
need to learn to do
is to get back to your roots.
Go natural.
I am natural.
Except for,
I have other natural hair.
No, you bought this.
I know.
And it was on a hanger
when you bought it.
But it lived once.
It didn't live on your...
And if it, if it lived,
it's real.
Alright, I'mma give this now.
Make sure you get it
right on the part.
I will.
Because if you
get it on the hair
then it's gonna be
hard to take out.
And then I have to
cut my real hair.
It is not like I haven't
done this before.
You haven't.
But it's not like I can't
figure out how it's done.
Tonight's really important.
I know, I know.
Because you have a date.
You finally gonna get some,
you know.
You haven't had sex since
you were little, so...
And it's Saturday night,
and I always gotta spend
my Saturday nights with you.
Well, maybe I'll kill myself
after I leave
and that'll be my exciting
change of pace.
Let's see what my mom's
talking about.
'You know, my friends
ask me, "Why can't Gabby keep a man?"'
'And then I say, "Well, she just
hasn't found the right one."'
'On the back of my mind, I know'
'it's that curse.'
Okay, alright, I can finish it.
Thank you for doing the back.
You're welcome.
Oh, my gosh, you have fun, okay?
Thank you.
Have fun, and get some.
Yes. Have fun and get some.
Have fun and get some.
Have fun get some
Have fun get some
Have fun get some
Have fun and get..
I think there's something
on fire out here.
'Thank you, girl.'
Oh, my God!
'Hey, you.'
Hey, handsome.
Are you ready for tonight?
'Not quite.'
Ha ha. I know that's right.
'Cause you ain't ready for this,
if you know what I mean.
'I can't make it.'
What? You do know
what I mean, right?
'My girlfriend's sick.
We got back to... '
Wait, wait. Girlfriend?
'We got back together
a few days ago.'
'And since you and I only went
out on a couple of dates'
'I figured, you know,
maybe we could still... '
Unh-unh. Don't say it. Don't say
you just wanna be friends.
'Cause I hate friends.
'Thanks for letting me
off the hook.'
No, you're not off the hook.
It's Saturday night.
You're not off the hook.
Listen, okay.
This is what we're gonna do.
You'll just quit her.
And I can pretend like this
conversation never happened.
We'll survive this.
You're on the hook!
'It's the curse.'
We asked 100 single women,
"After how many dates
do you start to wear sweats?"
You said... four.
'Survey said..'
Well, how many?
'Ten dates.'
'Ten dates was the number one
answer. Mm-hmm.'
It's 8:45, and already 76
degrees here in Los Angeles.
'It's shaping up to be
a real scorcher today.'
'So make sure to get in
that car, keep your A/C on.'
'And keep chill during..'
Oh, my God!
Excuse me, excuse me.
Hey, Gab, hold the door.
I'm sorry 'bout that.
Phew! Appreciate that.
I like what you do
with your hair.
Looks nice.
You, you got
a little piece hangin'
little, um, if you don't mind.
'Push it right there..'
What are you..
Oh, damn! Damn!
Damn, I swear to God,
I didn't mean to do that.
That was not...
Not the.. You know what?
That's, uh, it's fine.
'Cause you wouldn't understand.
I'm doing my hair
at home from now on
because it's too expensive
going to the salon
and human hair alone
costs a lot of money.
It's like a carno.
That is not human hair.
At all, and I do understand.
Come on, you've got
a self-conscious belief
that the right guy
may never show up.
So, why waste your money
on a salon, right?
Soon the same theory
gonna apply to your monthly wax.
And you're not wearing
matching underwear. Damn that.
A man innately able to sense
when a woman is hiding a bear
in her non-matching underwear.
He stops checking
for your self-conscious belief
becomes a self-filling prophecy.
And just so you know,
I do wear matching underwear.
Look, I'm not judging you.
Hey! Hey!
Thank you.
Thanks for bringing this.
Any chance to see
my beautiful wife.
You hanging out
with your friend later?
'Still wanna hit
the strip club after?'
Alright, madam beauty editor.
You get back to work.
Alright, I'mma get outta here.
I'll see you later.
Okay. Love you.
Ten shades that say
down for whatever.
'So, some of your
biggest hits, uh, "Fat Punami"'
"Number One Poom-Poom Killer"
and "Me Love The Strippers"
all refer to women
as just some of their parts.
Now, in a pantheon of words
one could string together
to create such a lyric.
Why not use something a little
less degrading to women?
Well, you know
I believe women should be
empowered to do
what they want to
with their bodies.
But how embarrassing
it must be for you
that I am the feminist here.
I sense this underlying
condescension in your tone.
Which tells me that this is
a story that you were assigned.
Not one that you chose.
You see, if you
listen to my music
you'll see that
it's so important to me
to put some joy
in a folk's Friday night.
And for the police
to stop using black people
for target practice.
But since some lyrics,
they captivated you
you must be some Freudian draw.
No ring on that finger.
So you're definitely
not married.
Girl, you haven't even
cracked a smile since I sat down.
So the joy of sex is completely
missing from your life, huh?
How long it been now?
About a year?
Ten months since the last time
you made love to somebody?
Let's round it up,
and call it two years.
I can't do this.
Yes, I'm right,
ain't I, darling?
I can't do it!
Yeah, vamanos.
Someone else can do
this interview.
Change that
font back to standard.
Oh, I was, I was trying
something different.
I actually created this.
Mm, we pay you to make things
fit on a page.
Not create the Mona Lisa.
Is that the royal "We?"
Excuse me?
No, it was, it was a joke.
Because, you said
"We" like you were
one of the owners
of the magazine.
So I was like.. Yeah!
You're about to find out about
the royal unemployment line.
Keep telling those
corny ass jokes..
Did you read Maureen's column
this morning?
Don't you have a job to do,
as well?
Not until Maureen get's here.
And then to do my job well
for the editor-in-chief
I need to be in a good mood
or else blame someone
for why I messed up.
And you know how much
Maureen loves mistakes.
So, Maureen's column..
Killed me.
Like I am dead.
I need life support, oxygen..
Ayo that's all we know
You only live once
better turn it turn it up
It's show time
that's all we know
Ayo ayo wayoh
Ayo that's how we roll
You only get one shot better
get our there and get it
It's show time
that's all we know
So, what happened
with Big Stunna?
He was asking questions
that were very personal.
He wanted to know
the last time you got laid.
'So, when was the last
time you got laid?'
It's personal.
Uff. That long.
These are not questions
you should ask in a workplace.
Well, they were asked
in this workplace
this morning
by our featured artist.
And since you didn't answer,
he's gone.
'Find a way to make him
sit down with you'
'and complete the interview.'
Or you're fired.
My personal life is...
None of my business.
No, I know. Either you want to
keep your job..
I just bought a house.
Or not.
You're not gonna lose your job.
I mean, you probably..
She was gonna lose her job.
She probably lost her job.
'But, it's okay.'
'I mean, let's not nag.'
More importantly, are there
any single men here?
Oh, yes. What's up, ladies?
Unh-unh, uh-uh.
That seat's taken.
Ah, your purse
don't need a seat.
Don't touch my stuff.
Ah, come on.
It's fake skin.
Three three-olive martinis.
Here you go.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Thank you.
And a sparkling water.
'What's that about?'
I'm going to the strip club
later with Kevin.
So, uh, I'm gonna drink there.
Wait, wait. You go to the strip
club with your husband?
Ha-ha-ha. They got a situation.
'Will you please
stop calling it that?'
'We do not have a situation.'
I happen to have a wonderfully
fulfilling open-marriage
with a great guy.
But why?
'Didn't you hear
the part where I said'
' "Wonderfully fulfilling?"'
And "Great guy?"
'Hey, don't
be judgmental.'
Love isn't
one-size-fits-all, right?
You want a license to cheat?
If you're honest,
it ain't cheating, alright?
And although
I do respect the choice
open-marriage ain't for me.
But it's just so...
But it is better than
no sex at all.
And, and, you know what?
What is that about?
Like, is that an AKA thing?
Delta, and celibacy
is a personal choice.
But is it?
Oh, shit.
It's solipsistic to think
that just because something
isn't your choice,
that it's a bad choice.
'I can be in love with one man'
and open to a connection
with another.
'But it's a
dangerous game.'
Sooner or later,
somebody crosses the line.
But, I'm too concerned about
this Big Stunna thing
to be worried about
my love life.
I helped build this site,
and I'm about to lose it all
because of some self-described
Punani Killer?
Can we please talk about
my problems?
Oh, do we have
that kind of time?
Why is he allowed
to sit with us?
Because it's not high school.
Okay, so every time I like a guy
we get in three or four dates
and then, he's gone.
I'm a pretty
self-confident person
but I'm starting to wonder.
Is something wrong with me?
When the right guy shows up...
He'll probably vanish
after three dates
just like all the wrong guys.
I just wanna know
in a real and concrete way
how can I make it last?
Oh! Oh, my God.
Didn't you read
Maureen's column?
No. Yuck.
Oh, okay.
"Women make a mistake when they
think of the first few dates
"as an audition.
"And if they perform well
"a man will cast them
in the role of girlfriend
"and with any future luck, wife.
"For men, a relationship isn't
real until the tenth date
'"when they've made
enough of an investment'
'"that continuing
the relationship'
"is a conscious decision.
"Instead of getting
emotionally attached
"the first time
she feels butterflies
"a woman will be well served
"remembering that a man
at this stage
'is either infatuated... "'
Or he just trying to hit it.
"And, she should
gather information
"and put on an emotional condom
"until the tenth date.
'"Ironically, it is this living
in the moment'
'that will get her... "'
To ten.
And voila.
But I've never been on
ten dates with the same person
and I've been in love
plenty of times.
Has everyone here
gotten to a tenth date
before with the same person?
Ahem. Mm, yeah.
Yeah, baby, yeah.
You have ten
every ten minutes, okay?
I'm gonna do it.
Me too.
What are we doing?
The tenth date.
Wait, wait, wait.
It's not something you do.
No, it is. Getting to ten
with the same person.
You know, don't worry
about getting married
don't get too attached,
just have a good enough time
to go out again, and then,
it's date number two.
And then date number three. And
then you're in a relationship.
Why is that so important?
Because, I want love.
Maureen just pulls things
out of her ass
to stay on deadline.
Can you be positive
for once, please?
But if you are going to do this
she'll probably pay you to write
about it for the magazine.
How much?
Freelancers get $300 a story.
I could get my weave done!
'Oh, God, man!'
Can I remind you,
you don't have a working car?
Yes, but that is my engine.
And engines are
way more than $300.
You know what?
For front row seats
to this foolishness
I would, uh, drive you to work
every morning.
'And I'll help
you pitch it to Maureen.'
We all support you.
And we'll be like the people
that don't actually
run the marathon
but, like, give the little cups
of water to those that do.
I'll take it.
To ten.
Yes, to ten.
To ten.
To ten, to ten, to ten!
Hey! I just gotta drop
this young lady off, first.
Might as well
hit the back, right?
'You good?'
It's fun, it has
real emotional stakes.
Because if she can't get to ten
it means there's probably
something really wrong with her.
No. It's boring.
Are we gonna see her trying and
trying, and never getting there?
'It would be a great story.'
And the goal is to get there.
Yes, but there are
no guarantees, Mon Cheri.
But, if she can get to ten dates
in the next sixty days
with the same man
then that's a story.
And for that we'll pay $5000.
Oh! Shut the front door.
It's a cliche,
but people love a cliche.
Here, she needs to fix her hair
to even stand a chance.
Sorry. Sorry, sorry.
Thank you, thank you.
Okay, go.
Not a hope in hell.
'So good.'
You know what?
We also have half off
on bikini wax.
Oh, no. No, no, I'm good.
Mm, you haven't been
maintaining up here.
I'm sure you haven't been
maintaining down there.
Let's get that started?
Yeah, let's do that right now.
That's a no.
He is gorgeous.
I'm telling you.
Even for an experiment.
No, no, no!
No, no, pass. Pass!
I don't like him.
He got a big ol' smile.
Like a horse, a little bit?
Yeah. I'm gonna
give him a chance.
Go ahead, I like him.
I'll give him a chance!
Don't do that!
So, uh, what about the money?
Oh, if I can get to ten,
in two months
I write about it,
and then I get $5000.
Yeah. Okay.
I think that you should
date someone super desperate.
Yeah. And do the real tenth date
after you get the money.
Okay, no, no.
First of all, karma.
And second, I'm not doing this
for the money.
Oh, well, I'm sorry,
what is that?
Hmm. "Past due."
Oh, oh, oh. They're about to
turn off your electricity?
See, I think you should think
a little bit more
about this money.
And maybe work on your art, too.
From your friends
in art department.
'Oh, my gosh!'
To ten!
My name is Gabrielle Fateful.
'A local artist.'
'Seeking representation.'
No, no, no. Take it now,
and then make the phone call.
She needs it, Dante.
My girl!
You took it too far.
Girl, just call Big Stunna.
You got this.
You got this.
You got it.
'Should be fun.'
Hi, Margot Scotts calling.
I guess you're busy.
Um, call me when you can.
I'll be here.
'I hate my life.'
Oh, come on.
'That was good!'
Don't hate your life, you're
just doing what you have to do
to save your job, which most of
the time you love, right?
Unh-unh, since when does
doing my job
mean telling a complete stranger
about my vagina's dry spell.
'We're gonna work on that.'
Did you remember
hanging that up?
So, um, guess what?
We're gonna go to the club
on Friday nights.
Us ladies should go, find out
what's in these streets.
Have some fun!
You guys can't come.
I'd rather record
that voicemail again.
Aw, sweetie.
Oh. Billie?
Oh, I, I have a three-way
Friday night.
You're my hero.
You make me go oh oh oh oh
Do you think you can
touch me in my hot spots
Hello, Enzo.
How are you?
Yes girl
I'll make you feel right
We both gonna make love
till the morning light
Who the is this?
Who is Enzo?
The third.
Our third for tonight.
I thought it was a girl.
What kind of name is Enzo?
Enzo doesn't sound like
a guy's name to you?
You thought I was
gonna have a threesome
with you and another guy?
So, it's okay
if it was another woman?
Two women servicing me?
Yeah, I like the thought.
Well, what if I want
two men servicing me?
Then you would need
to find a husband
that's okay with that
You know
we could always just do this
the old-fashioned way.
Just me, and you.
Let's go to bed, baby.
How are we supposed to
compete with that?
I mean,
we could start stripping.
Yeah, but then
we'd have to work out.
12 o'clock.
Light skinned.
White shirt, black polka dots.
'You see him?'
He cute!
Oh, wait. Uh, oh, ooh!
'He trying to
be sexy with.. Ooh!'
Mm-hmm. You saw that? Uh-huh.
That's sick.
'Wait a minute,
look at that tongue action!'
Oh, he's getting nasty!
'Mm-hmm. That's mine.'
'Oh, no, no, no.
I'mma get him, I'mma get him.'
Watch and learn, Gab,
watch and learn.
Oh-oh, he's coming here.
Oh, he's coming..
Oh, for real?
I was only playing.
Damn, I don't even like olives.
It's okay, you were
really sexy doing that.
Looked good. That right?
Yeah, it was.
It was really sexy.
Oh, ugh. Okay.
He's coming, he's coming.
Bitch, you are so pretty!
I'mma see you tomorrow.
You don't even know him!
And yet, he's already better
than anyone I've ever dated.
He fine? Okay?
I'mma call you tomorrow.
How are you doing?
Hi, light skinned!
'Hi, I'm Nell.'
'Nice to meet you, Nell.'
'I'm Fred.'
Oh, sorry! I'm sorry.
That's the jam.
I find you very attractive
sexually speaking.
I wasn't gonna say anything
but then the song came on,
and I was like...
And you were just like,
"Yes, Luther. Get it!"
Oh, my gosh!
Girl, for real,
how are you still single?
You know I ask myself
that question everyday?
I'm just walking around like
"Do people see me?"
Like, "Am I in the Sixth Sense"
or something?
Girl, I see you bloom.
Well, how are you still in these
streets without a woman, huh?
I mean, I, like,
just moved here.
Oh! Gotcha!
Scooped him early, bitches.
Snatch game! You win.
Yeah, you're like, for real.
I just, I kind of always
imagined that I would end up
with a good man..
...till I saw you.
Let me ask you a question.
Yeah, you can ask me a question.
Um, well, I know
that I have a powerful
some may even say masculine vibe
but you do know
that I'm a woman?
Fine as hell, woman.
But, you just said that...
I'm not. I'm not gay.
I'm bisexual.
I mean, yeah, I like men,
I'm attracted to men
when I meet the right one.
But.. I mean, I like women.
I'm attracted to women.
When I meet the right one.
So, you have sex with...
I have sex with
whomever I feel
a connection with.
Right now,
I'm feeling it with you.
I'd rather be with you
you make my heart screaming
Oh! Uh.
That's good!
Um, okay.
What's up? That's Angela.
Angela in art and
I thought you have
a lot in common.
Did you bring
a date to our date?
Oh, I had a little conflict
on my schedule.
You know how it go..
Gonna turn the lights off
Never never let you go
It's an interesting choice.
I'm a minister.
And I want to know
how to find those lost sheep.
Okay, um, maybe I should just
leave you to the flock.
No, no.
I just wanted to see
how you take it if occasionally
brought me to places like this.
It's okay. We can stay.
Let's make it rain!
Bless you! Bless you!
I'm so glad you liked
my, my profile on Tinder.
I did!
This is really nice.
You are so beautiful!
Thank you.
I wanna show you something.
And that's not even hard!
No, like, full on dick-flick.
Why do guys think
that's gonna impress anybody?
Was it? Impressive?
How was your threesome?
Hah! Not what I expected.
Kevin wasn't down for the menage
when he learned
the third party was a dude.
You didn't discuss it first?
I said Enzo's name.
That sound's like a guy, right?
It's kind of a gray area.
Guess I'll have to schedule
some alone time with Enzo.
Okay, don't get mad at me 'cause
I'm not being Margot, alright?
I just.. I don't get it either.
If you love Kevin,
then why do you need to have sex
with this other guy?
I don't need to do anything.
I like Enzo.
And sometimes
that goes to a place
where the expression is sexual.
So, no rules?
Oh, there are definitely rules
like, knowing
the other person knows.
Seems kind of arbitrary.
I love Kevin, because with him
I can be in a marriage
and still... breathe.
You think marriage
is suffocating?
Not with Kevin.
Wow. Most women feel like
marriage is the prize.
You feel like it is something
that has to be negotiated
so it doesn't kill you.
You're a feminist heroine.
I do what I can.
This was delicious.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
This is our third date,
and I just wanted
to do something special.
Wait till you see what's next.
It's not a picture, is it?
Tan ta Ra Ra
The key is just having just
the right amount of alcohol.
You're not planning on
murdering me tonight, right?
You're crazy!
Oh, yeah, I'm sorry
about that, my bad.
Yeah, just..
Okay, there ain't
no stink in that, come on.
How was your weekend?
Not ready to talk about it.
I mean, and, and the tenth date?
Don't you think that's what
I don't wanna talk about?
Flyin' in my head
Thoughts of you
are what you said to me
Engine engine number nine
On the New York transit line
If my train
goes off the track
Pick it up
pick it up pick it up
Back on the scene
crispy and clean
You can try but then why
'cause you can't intervene
We be the outcast
down for the settle
Won't play the rock
Won't play the pebble
Open your door
You best believe
We're sliding
through it swiftly
Come on Niftly
We can make it hip to be
What we are
'cause what we be
Be the epitome of
So now I dwell
just to say your plainer
Hold your cup
'cause I got the container
Pass a plader
cross the fader
Black Sheep get played
like the Sony innovator
Never the traitor
party of later
And you can get
a scoop later
You can get with this
or you can get with that
You can get with this
or you can get with that
You can get with this
or you can get with that
Why, hello!
Listen, I wanna apologize for...
Pretty unprofessional voicemail
you left me about your sex life.
Trust me, it was
much worse for me.
So, is there something
you wanna tell me?
Didn't you get my voicemail?
'Yeah, but that was
just a voicemail.'
I'm interested in you,
Margot Scott the woman.
Why has it been so long, and
how long has it been exactly?
A year.
Eleven months.
I knew it, I was right.
You were close.
'Mm-hmm. So?'
So... I've been in love.
And when it doesn't work out,
I don't bounce back
like other people and..
If I sleep with a guy,
it's ten times worse.
Hmm, it's like
a Billie Holiday song, eh?
It's like
a Billie Holiday album.
Meet me at Caprice on Sunday.
What time?
I brought breakfast.
I'm early, let's eat.
I have five weeks left,
so it can still happen.
And I've been on a bunch of
dates in the last few weeks.
But not with the same guy?
Which is the point.
Are you gonna be
an asshole your whole life?
So, wait, wait, wait.
You never had a boyfriend?
No, I had... a Chris.
A Chris?
He played football,
and he was really smart.
He volunteered and
How am I not supposed
to fall in love
with a guy like that right away?
And he went a little overboard.
What does that mean?
There was a restraining order.
Look, I wish I could
see him again, you know?
Hmm, sounds fun.
So, what can't you settle down?
No, I'm not ready yet. Mm-mm.
I ain't ready.
Um, I mean, there is
someone I care about.
I mean, she's, she's magic.
But, uh, I'm not ready
to be with just her.
And she too dope
to play games with.
You better hope she doesn't
meet someone in the meantime.
Well, I hope she finds
happiness in the meantime.
And me when the time is right.
How can you know she's the one,
and then not be ready?
You know what?
There is a logical explanation
for that.
Scientific actually.
In simplest terms..'s because I have a penis.
But you love her?
We could be like
Martin and Gina.
My God!
That's my favorite TV couple.
You're lying.
You know about Martin and Gina?
I know about Martin and Gina.
Oh, there you go!
Martin Lawrence
He's so crazy
When he gets here,
I want you guys to meet him
and tell me what you think.
We've been out four times,
and I love him.
Wait, you've been on four dates
with the same guy on first try?
Okay, see,
I don't wanna bring this up
but I'm really good in bed.
But I don't want this
to be like the guy
that I fell in
love with, you know?
Who started kidnapping people.
'In the gas station.'
Oh, yeah, yeah.
But there is this one thing
that I wanna tell you about...
Hola, mamacita.
Oh, hi, baby.
You're looking gorgeous.
Well, I know that.
Ha-ha-ha, you're too much.
This is Gab.
Hi, baby. How are you?
Yeah, and Billie.
Quite a vision.
Oh, thank you.
Nice to meet you.
You girls are so fly!
Yeah. K you.
Can we get some drinks for these
ladies over here, please?
Oh, Freddy Mitchell!
How are you going to come to see
my show and not speak to me?
Girl, you were performing!
But I saw you up there doing
your thing, and this thing.
She's nuts,
watch out for this one.
Come say "Hi" to the children.
Yes, what, is that cool?
Alright, yeah.
Okay then, I'll be right back.
We'll be right..
Be right back. I'll be right
back. Let's go. Let's go!
Okay, before you say anything,
he's bi, not gay.
So, what's the problem?
I mean..
Yeah, this-this requires
a lot more analysis.
I have to go.
I'm going on my fourth date
with the preacher tomorrow.
I gotta wash clothes,
like right now.
I don't even have a clean pair
of underwear to wear, so..
Okay, so, go without.
Stay ready.
Okay, thank you very much.
Ladies and gentlemen.
This next song is dedicated
to the most beautiful woman
in the room.
Nah, Queens,
it ain't you. Sorry.
It's me?
Sorry, I've got to see this.
I can't fool myself
I don't want
Nobody else to ever love me
You are my shining star my
guiding light my love fantasy
Go, baby!
Go, Freddy!
...that I don't love you
You're at the top of my list
'Cause I'm always
thinking of you
I still remember in the days
when I was scared to touch you
And how I spent my day
Dreamin' plannin'
how to say I love you
Go ahead, baby!
...known that I had feelings
deep enough to swim in
That's when you
opened up your heart
And you told me to come in
Oh my love
A thousand kisses from you
is never too much
And I just don't wanna stop
too much never too much
Never too much
never too much
Lay down my burden here
down by the riverside
Down by the riverside
Down by the riverside
Lay down my burden here
down by the riverside
Whoa, whoa, wow, wow!
'I say, praise the Lord today.'
'Make a joyful noise'
on to Lord of the earth.
Sing praises to
the Lord with trumpets.
You don't have that kind of joy.
The kind of joy that, that
when you need that mortgage paid
or your electricity
is about to be cut off.
And then, something
on the inside says
"Go to your mailbox."
'And when you go into that
mailbox, there's a check there.'
Can I get an amen?
And when you open that check
that amount covers
not only one month
not two months but
three, four, five,
six, seven months.
'If you don't have
that kind of joy'
'then you don't have
Jesus in your life.'
'Do you hear me?'
And if you want him in your life
step up to this altar.
Right now!
The elders are helping.
That's right, mother, come on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come on, sister.
I was hopin' you would stay,
Sister Gabrielle.
Come up here and receive Jesus.
Uh, uh, that-that's okay.
We're-we're already on
speaking terms, but, thank you.
Whoa, now, do you all
wanna see precious Gabrielle
get saved this morning?
Do I need to ask again?
It's okay, It's okay,
I'll get saved.
'Put you hands together.
Come on.'
Come on, encourage her.
Encourage her.
Yes, don't let
the enemy keep you back.
Come on, now.
Yes, yes, come on,
give a her hand-clap.
Come on, stand here.
Yes, yes, yes.
Come on, yes.
Come on, come on, yes.
I'm gonna ask you
a very important question.
Do you accept Jesus Christ as
your personal Lord and savior?
I can't hear you.
And then you are saved!
What do I do?
Yes, praise the Lord.
Praise the Lord.
'Oh! Oh!'
'Oh, Lord!'
Oh, blesses me.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
'Looking for a special
gift for someone in your life?'
'Hang on here, 'cause
Lisa's got some great ideas for you. Lisa?'
'You don't wanna miss this..'
'Gabby, I saw
you turn the TV off.'
You know I can see you, right?
You're hidin' under the covers.
'I have Chinese food.'
The whole world saw my vagina.
Okay, I mean, silver lining,
silver lining.
Turns out that you were
current on your monthly wax.
My vagina is viral.
The whole world's gonna see it.
My mom's gonna see it.
And I didn't even
like him like that.
He probably likes you a lot now.
I accepted Christ for him.
Hey, at least
you got one friend.
Oh, I can't do this anymore.
Can't do what?
This whole tenth date thing.
Maybe I'm just not
cut out for love.
Maybe I'm not the type
of person who is..
Oh, come on, come on.
...gonna get love, right?
You're good.
Gab, Gab, don't..
No, you.. Hey, don't cry,
don't cry, don't cry.
My vagina was on the internet.
Hey, you're okay. You're good.
I'mma go.
Is that cool?
Okay then.
Alright then,
I'll see you tomorrow.
See you tomorrow.
And I want you to get me a bagel
but don't Maureen
see me eating carbs, okay?
What's new, pussycat?
I have to tell you something.
So, Dante came over last night,
and he kissed me.
He could tell from the internet,
your vagina is magical.
No, it's not like that.
Well, what was it like, huh?
It was really good.
It got really good.
And then, he left.
Oh, see, Gab honey,
you're a bad kisser.
It's gonna be...
I don't know why he left.
Well, you want me to ask him?
It's just a question.
I'll be right back.
Oh, wait a minute.
Maureen, she want's you to hire
someone in graphics.
Another you.
Why? And why not get HR?
And please don't talk to Dante.
Alright, I won't, listen.
They're opening
a Chicago version of Nina
so, it's gonna be
twice as much work.
And she doesn't want HR to do it
because they won't ask
the creative questions.
But if they're
launching something new
they don't need a new assistant,
they need a new vision.
Well, right now, all she wants
is a new art assistant.
Hey, but I don't know
how to interview people.
Alright, make up
some work sounding stuff.
And then, just pick the guy
that we all can sleep with
before he says
we sexually harassed him.
Hop to it.
Oh, so stupid.
Oh, great, great.
Thank you.
"Chris Kellerman?"
Hi, um, are you here for a job?
Nah, I'm here for you.
I, I lost your number, and
I remembered you worked here
so thought I'd stop by.
I guess your receptionist
put my name on the wrong list.
Oh, bad Bets.
And now, I'm about to be late
to my next appointment.
So, but how about we do dinner?
Yeah, yeah, um...
That cool?
Let's just do the little,
you know, little thing.
There we go, see you.
Got it?
Got it.
So, I'll call you tonight.
Okay, alright.
Oh, um, did you mean
for a dinner tonight
or you gonna call me tonight
for dinner later?
I just wanted to know
just because I, um..
You know, I'm really busy doing
a lot of very successful things.
No, I-I get it.
Which do you prefer?
How about lunch tomorrow?
So, I'll call you tonight
to confirm lunch for tomorrow.
Right, right, yeah.
If he's interviewing
for this job
you need to make him
have sex with you.
'Uh, I think
he could hear you still.'
No, I'm not scared, playboy.
She gonna trap you
in the elevator.
Rawr! Gotcha!
Get him.
Today was crazy.
It was crazy.
What happened?
You guys'll never believe
what happened.
So, I'm doing these interviews
and Chris, Chris-Chris
came to the office.
'Old Chris?'
Y'all know Chris.
Pretty Chris.
Oh, okay.
And he asked me on a date.
How long has it been? Like..
I don't know. It's like..
I was young and beautiful
and innocent.
Wasn't that just last year?
And Chris was playing
for The Raiders and..
You know, I thought
we were gonna get married
and I'd be like on one of
those rich house-wife shows.
You know?
But then, he got traded
and then he quit me
and then he had this
whole restraining order thing.
And I just, I don't understand
why he's back.
I think he just wants a kidney.
What are you gonna do?
I mean, you only
need one, right?
I mean, about Chris.
And about Dante,
because, like, three hours ago
you were saying that was the
most magical kiss of your life.
I.. That is not what I said.
Y'all kissed?
'Oh, y'all don't know?'
It just happened.
Wait a minute.
How has Dante been
since the kiss?
He came in early,
so I haven't seen him yet.
So, I asked him
to give me a ride home
so that I could talk to him.
What are you gonna say?
So, um, something
happened today.
Yeah, yeah, I...
Wait, you remember that guy
that I told you that
I-I really like, and I totally
destroyed all of his stuff
and he got restraining order
against me?
I don't remember you telling me
you destroyed all his stuff.
Uh, might wanna remember
that, that was crazy.
Yeah, um, well, he came back,
the guy Chris.
Like what? In the last 24 hours?
So, like..
I was thinking that I would give
the tenth date a second shot.
I mean, 'cause you
don't wanna get serious.
And-and, he's.. Well, he's
the kinda guy who gets serious.
And you don't want to
get to the tenth date...
It's cool.
It's good for you, good for you.
Good for y'all, you know?
Well, you want me to go back to
ridin' the metro in the morning?
No, I don't.
But it might be best.
You bought out the whole
restaurant for an interview?
Well, it's more private
this way.
You have something
you wanna ask me?
Oh, you don't have any questions
about my personal life first?
Yeah, but you have a deadline.
I think we'll have more time
for questions in the future.
Nah, I'm only 35,
but my knees are 40.
So, I just wanted to retire
while I still have some respect.
Then I figured,
I'll hit you up, you know?
See if we could
still be friends.
So, um, is, uh, friendship..
...the only reason
that you wanted to see me?
So, I'm about to open a lounge.
And I didn't want it to be
one of those corny
cliche, former NFL spots
with no class and no style.
And I remembered you used do
those dope paintings.
So, here's what I'm proposin'.
How about I commission you
to do some work for the lounge?
And you could even do,
like, a special event
where you could
sell your artwork.
That's great.
And that's all you wanted?
That's all.
And this isn't a date?
It's an appointment.
And you don't wanna date me?
You, you have somethin'
on your face.
It says, "Emotional condom."
"Just get to ten."
I have to go to the bathroom.
I don't wanna talk about it.
Whatever he did,
it is no reflection on you.
Yes it is!
Okay, just.. Alright, calm down.
Gabrielle Fateful?
Here you go.
Here we go, gotta sign that.
Hey, ain't you the girl
from that internet video?
This better not be
another subpoena trick.
It's from Chris.
It's from Chris.
Oh, my God!
I think he loves you.
Um, ahem.
"Not sure what I did,
but I'm sorry."
Oh, he's sorry.
He's sorry.
There's an apology.
"With love, the chance
to make up for it."
He wants to make up for it.
Um, go ahead and put my girl
back up on the board over there.
"Would still very much
like to be..
Wants to be friends.
Well, that's okay.
I already have a friend
who's name is Nell.
I don't need another one.
You have a problem.
Oh, my God!
That's okay.
Can I help you?
I see you got the flowers
I sent.
I'm sorry
I didn't meant upset you.
I've had a really
difficult week.
My vagina was on the internet.
Hmm. Yeah, I saw that.
Is there somewhere
we can go talk?
Okay. Alright.
Thank you.
You looking good in those jeans.
Well, uh, somebody should
clean this up.
So, the reason is...
I lost my sister
a few months ago.
She passed away.
I didn't realize how nice
it was to have a woman
to just sit down and talk to
until she was gone.
I'm sorry.
So, I figured, this time around,
if we took things slow
and actually work
to build a friendship..
...maybe we could have
a different outcome.
So, I apologize. I guess
I should have been more direct.
So, I could have
finished my lunch.
It was good, too.
Well, how about I make it up
to you this Saturday?
I'll buy you lunch.
Only if it's a date.
Oh, it's a date.
So, I'll see you later?
Alright, good seein' you.
Me too.
What's up, yo?
Oh yeah
I'm not even go on a front
I'm gonna tell you
how I feel
The way that
you kiss my lips
The moment was
so unreal yeah
On the first day I met you
you took me by surprise
It was like heavens
opened these eyes
And right there something
right there is open wide
No pressure
there was no pressure
That's why I realize
That's why I'm here
by your side
You make it seem so easy
That's why lovin' you
comes naturally
Yeah yeah lovin' you
comes easily
Six dates in three weeks
with the same guy.
Hey, Gabby, you ready?
Yeah, yeah, I'm so hungry.
I didn't get a change to
tell you, but me and Chris..
Thank you.
Good taste.
Your husband.
Hey, beautiful.
What are you doing here?
Came to take my wife to lunch.
Oh, I was, I was
just about to go with Gab.
Oh, no, it's okay, I gotta send
out invites for my art show.
Go ahead.
Alright, well, I'm all yours.
Yes, you are.
It's a really great turnout.
Yeah, well, I think
half the people here
came to see ex-football star
host, YouTube coochie star.
And the other half
needs some coconut water
because the thirst is real.
Look, you'll get at least one
rave from this reviewer.
Alright, see you soon.
Bye, guys.
Wait, where are you goin'?
Big Stunna party, remember?
That's enough.
Hey, how's
my little Picasso doin'?
Good. Great, great.
This is the nicest thing
that anyone's ever done for me.
So, what's up with
that little stutter?
Nobody's buying any work.
Oh, baby,
don't worry about that.
The night is still young.
But for those of us
who have to write about
summer's hottest nail colors,
the hour is late.
I'm really proud of you.
Thank you.
Hey, uh, can I buy you a drink?
Bitch, you don't see me
standin' right here?
You don't look like his type.
Oh, she's exactly my type.
Oh, okay.
Well, I hope to see you again
when you figure out
who you really are.
So, you know what,
let me, let me holla at you.
No, no, baby, please.
No, no, no, no.
No, don't even think about it.
There are other things
to worry about.
It's you and I
Baby make a wish
and close your eyes
Light an other candle
burn it in to the night
'Cause love
As you're right
where I belong
Baby make a wish
and close your eyes
Light an other candle
burn it in to the night
'Cause love
As you're right
where I belong
Baby make a wish
and close your eyes
Light an other candle
burn it in to the night
'Cause love
As you're right
where I belong
'Cause love
As you're right
where I belong
Mm-hmm, I caught you slippin'.
I don't wanna talk to you.
What's the matter?
I tell you how I feel
you ask me out, I get there
and I see you practically
having sex with a stripper.
Yo, it was my birthday.
I didn't know
that was going to happen
or I wouldn't have invited you.
That's more like
a fourth date kinda thing.
Oh, come on now, yo.
You know, you heard
it in my voicemail
so what's really goin' on?
You really gonna use this
to avoid intimacy?
This is how you gonna
bottle yourself up
and just run away
from everything?
I am.
I know not every guy
has loved you
the way that you
wanted to be loved.
Or needed to be loved.
But somebody loved you.
Maybe it was your best friend
or maybe it was
even your grandma.
Feel more grateful for love
of where it came from.
And stop focusing
so much on the past.
And you can enjoy
the present, you know.
You know I'm celibate.
You don't say.
Can we have some kind
of compromise then?
It's kind of an absolute.
You don't see any time
between now and say
marriage, that is
a possibility at all?
The sex? Just a little bit.
No time at all?
No time?
Forget about things
that you used to know
I'mma show you somethin'
you ain't seen before
Everybody talkin'
like they think they know
But I'm the real deal
baby yeah for sure
Can't tell me nothin'
when I'm on the floor
Guess? Whose show sold out?
Gimme gimme all you got
and don't hold back
Um, so, I heard that
they're starting
a Chicago version
of Nina magazine
and I was hoping that you would,
um, put in a good word for me
with the creative director.
Are you serious?
Look, I know what happened
between us was like
kind of weird
but, um, you know,
putting that aside...
Because that's just so easy.
This could really mean
something to me.
If you could just send
my portfolio to her..
I am him. Okay?
I'm the new creative director
for the Chicago site.
But how can you
do that from here?
So you're moving to Chicago?
Um. Okay.
I, well, I'll just
leave this here.
Oh, that's not necessary.
I know what you're capable of.
I don't think we should
see each other any more.
Come on, girl, stop playing.
No, I'm not playing.
Bitch, from whence
does this come?
Because no straight guy
talks like that.
And because the guy
at the bar was right.
And I don't want to be waitin'
around for the day
that you realize that you're gay
and then I'm just some
interesting experiment
and they were on Yarla.
And then she's
all like, "Beloved
somewhere inside
you knew he wanted a penis."
Okay, stop, right now, alright.
I don't want a penis.
I have a penis.
I want you.
And I told you, babe,
I'm not gay. I'm bisexual.
It's the same thing.
It is really not.
And I've been dealing with
that same kind of ignorant
close-minded my entire life.
And I'm not
about to start taking it
from the person I love.
You love me?
From the person I loved.
He loves you.
And-and maybe we should let go
of what we think
that's supposed to look like.
Yeah, but, Gab, I mean..
I don't know if I can do this,
you know. I mean..
This is really different.
Like when we are walking
on the street, I don't know
if he's looking at girls
or if he's looking at guys.
He's not looking at the girls.
Oh, you're gonna have to help me
with this because
I really care about him,
but I don't know
if I can wrap my brain
around it.
Look, here's the thing.
He loves you.
He's not with anyone else.
So, he's not bisexual.
He's Nellsexual.
He's Nellsexual?
He's Nellsexual.
'Cause I'm Nell.
'Cause you're Nell.
And you're sexual.
Yeah, I'm very sexual.
Very sexual.
Guess you're right.
Okay, I'm okay.
Enough of me. Go, get ready.
For your date.
Wait, wait, wait.
So which one should I wear?
Storm or Alicia?
Oh, the-the bob cause
that's innocent
and that's ratchet
at the same time.
Oh, my God.
I'm finally going to get to ten.
'And to think like
after all those assholes.'
The guy
that I'm supposed to be with
is the guy that I already knew.
Uh-huh, but maybe not
the one you think.
Dante is moving to Chicago,
and he has like a million girls
and he never said that
he wants to be with me.
Okay. So, you're just gonna
go with the safe choice, huh?
Sorry, I'm just gonna
be here in judgment.
Well, I think,
that I've been very mature
in having made a choice at all.
I'm gonna get to ten!
And I'm really happy.
Rise up, mother.
I'm sorry for coming inside
'to your new home
without your permission.'
This is so romantic.
I've made you a prayer rug.
You know, how black twitters
always come in
for Netflix and chill.
Like, I like it.
I like Netflix
and I like chilling.
How could
either of those be bad?
Is there anything
you want to talk about?
Just having a really good time.
'Cause I really
want to watch this movie.
Oh! Oh. I'm good.
You sure?
It's just,
there's only one more date left.
For what?
Uh.. It's just this thing
that we have at work.
It doesn't..
No, no, no. What's, what's
this thing at work?
And why are you talking
about our dates?
No, it's not a big deal. It's..
Let's just.. Come on.
Let's just watch the movie.
No, no, no, I want to know
more about
this thing you have at work.
Uh. Okay.
Well, my boss has this theory
that a man doesn't know
that he's in a relationship
until the tenth date.
And I realized that I've never
been on a tenth date
so they made me
this board at work
to see if I can get to ten,
and now I'm at nine tonight, so.
'That's all.'
It's funny, right?
'Cause you don't seem like
you think it's that funny.
Uh, I just think
it's a bit strange.
I mean, but as long as
you don't think
this tenth date thing
is a big deal
I guess it's cool.
'The guest
will be arriving soon.'
It is a big deal.
I bought a wig for this.
Now, it's-it's going to fall.
No, no, no.
It's fine. It's fine. It's..
You're right. Let's just, let's
just finish watching the movie.
It's just,
I want it mean something
when we get to ten, because
it means something to me.
Why are you standing?
We need to talk.
No, there's nothing
to talk about.
Nothing. Come on, let's just...
No. No, no, no.
Sit. Come on, let's,
we can finish the movie.
I'm gonna go grab a drink.
So this tenth date thing.
It seems like
it means a lot to you.
I'm sorry.
But it, it doesn't to me.
Gabie, when I contacted you,
I just wanted to see
if there was still something
left between us.
And we both know there is.
But I don't think it's enough to
try to force us
into a full-blown commitment.
Why are you making commitment
sound like a communicable
Because I'm just not
ready for it.
I wanted to see if we could...
I just thought my Netflix and
chill was the problem.
Maybe we should spend
some time apart.
If you wanted time apart
then why did you come back?
When I retired from NFL
life just seemed like
it was moving in slow motion.
And then I remembered you,
and how exciting you were.
I mean, you were a little crazy
but that's what
I love about you.
I never knew if the night was
gonna end with us fighting or...
So you came back
because I'll be the right amount
of excitement to get you over
the hump of adjusting
to life outside of NFL.
Gabie, I didn't say that.
No! You said you wanted
to be friends first.
You said, one step at a time.
I mean, of course
that means that
we're working towards
the future in my head.
I was trying to protect you.
Well then you should've
locked yourself in a cage
like a werewolf at full moon.
I didn't want you
to get too attached.
Have you met me?
I get too attached.
Okay. Just, just,
calm down, Gabie.
Oh! Calm down?
Calm down?
Oh, I'm so calm.
'Is this calm enough for you?'
Calm, calm, calm.
Ooh, I'm so calm.
Look at me calm down.
Are you done now?
Okay, I'm sorry,
if I hurt you. Okay?
There is no if!
And you're just standing there,
all cool and collected.
Like you're biggest problem is
how are you gonna clean
all this up
after I leave.
It hurts.
It hurts like a
I'm just gonna take this.
'Hey, you've
reached Freddy.'
'If you leave
an interesting enough message'
'maybe I'll call you back.'
We agreed..
...the one thing
we wouldn't do is
sleep with someone
the other one knew.
I only agreed to an open
marriage so I could be with you.
It killed me that you
could be with other people
and I just wanted you.
Did you sleep
with Bets to hurt me?
I don't know.
Why can't we just
try it like this?
Just you and me.
It's not who I am.
So, what do we do now?
I guess just sit here.
Let our hearts break.
I'm sorry.
Well in addition
to getting dumped
I received three
rejection letters
so, probably have
a nervous breakdown.
'Oh! Rejections
from art galleries.'
'Girl, you just
got to keep tryin'.'
I can't even get to ten.
It is not climbing
Mount Everest.
It's gettin' a guy to say that
I would hang out
with her ten times.
And I always thought
that I was cute enough
or funny enough..
Or something enough that I,
I'd be with someone by now.
But I guess I'm not.
You are.
And you know it.
Look, the truth is
no one knows why love pick
some people and not others.
I mean, you could be celibate.
You could go on ten dates.
You could..
Have an open marriage.
But... until love picks you
you might as well sit back
and enjoy the ride
because nothing you do is gonna
make a bit of difference.
'And the whole emotional condom
thing, my God'
is not so that
you don't fall so fast.
Is so that you don't move
so fast that you forget
how amazing you are
while you're on the ride.
In the meantime, think.
And send out more letters as a
To the ones that came back now.
I've just been launching pebbles
at the castle for so long,
I'm just tired.
Stop launching pebbles then.
Put all your heart
and your work into one big rock
and launch that at the castle.
Then, honey,
they have to pay attention.
Night that I don't love you
you're at the top of my list
'Cause I'm always
thinkin' of you
I still remember in the days
when I was scared to touch you
How I spent my day dreamin'
plannin' how to say I love you
You must have
known that I had
Feelings deep enough
to swim in
That's when you
opened up your heart
And you told me to come in
Oh my love
A thousand kisses from you
Is never too much
I just don't wanna stop
Oh my love
Woke up today looked at your
picture just to get me started
I called you up
but you weren't there
And I was broken hearted
Hung up the phone can't be too
late the boss is so demandin'
Opened the door up
and to my surprise
There you were standin'
Well who needs to go to work
to hustle for another dollar
I'd rather be with you
'Cause you make my
heart scream and holler
Love is a gamble and I'm so
glad that I'm winnin'
We've come a long way and yet
this is only the Beginnin'
Oh my love
I'm sorry.
A thousand kisses
from you is never too much
You should just marry me.
No, did you hear
what I just said?
No, did you hear
what I just said?
And I just don't wanna stop
Oh my love
What are you working on
that's got you here so early?
Something to launch
at the castle.
So, what are we doing?
Take the weave out and cut it.
How much?
All of it.
I'm enough.
I am enough.
I'm enough.
I don't know what happened.
Who is responsible for this?
Maureen! Uh, Ms. Laurant.
L.A. Art Museum
just tweeted about the new look.
I did not approve the new look.
Our investors and advertisers
weren't told about the new look.
So there is no new look.
But, no, no.
They, they think the new
art work is phenomenal.
Shut it down.
You did this.
I mean, yes.
You're fired.
You have no power.
You're fired.
Oh, uh, ten galleries
in the last two minutes
have just tweeted
about the new look.
How did you know,
they'd spread this?
I, um, I didn't.
I just.. I took a chance
on their taste, and yours.
So fired.
Am I?
I like your haircut.
I, I'll need a raise.
I'll be working longer hours.
How much?
Five thousand dollars a month.
Anyone else try something
like this, you're fired.
God. That was so risky.
Oh, God.
Thank you, guys.
Back to work.
My God.
I know.
You're looking gorgeous.
Okay, okay.
You're just beaming.
So, I don't think, I officially
introduced you guys.
We know who you are.
But I want the official
Gab, Billie, this is my friend.
Her man.
Please, don't ask.
Alright, now.
I'll be right back.
Nice to meet you.
Hey, excuse us.
So you're the reason
my show sold out.
Your work is beautiful.
Thank you.
It was a smart investment.
Okay. Um, listen,
I know that I up.
You're my friend.
And not just my friend
like, "Oh, I should be with
my lame ass friend
because we were like
friends forever."
But, like, you're my hot friend.
You're my Martin,
and I didn't realize that
not getting to ten with you
is better than getting
to ten with anyone else.
Isn't this amazing?
Oh, my God.
I'm just so happy and thank you
for lending your house.
Of course.
This is so beautiful.
He's so beautiful.
I'm so happy for you.
Now, would you kill me
if I left?
Oh, no.
No, honey.
Do whatever you gotta do.
Go get your man, girl.
I'll be there
I'll be there be there
I'll be there
I'll be there
What about Chicago?
I love Chicago.
But she's magic.
But you left.
Why, you gonna make it easy.
What you're gonna leave me
for some other dude
or somebody like
"Hi, it is cool."
But I should've been honest
with you, alright?
I should've told you how I felt.
And you're my Gina.
And I'm ready.
Wait. Do we have to restart
the whole calendar?
For what? We already
been on ten dates.
Okay, maybe nine.
How many times did we
go and work late
have breakfast, have dinner?
But those weren't dates.
Those were dates to me.
And okay, wait.
Like, do you have a pen?
For what?
I'm gonna give you a kiss...
I need a pen. I need a pen.
Okay, let's go.
What you doing?
Thank you.
What you doing?
I should probably get that.
I'm good.
Can I get a beer?
Yeah. Get me one too.
Mess around one day you're
gonna find yourself in love
Mess around one day
Mess around one day
Mess around one day you're
gonna find yourself in love
Mess around one day you're
gonna find yourself in love
Mess around one day
Mess around one day
Mess around one day you're
gonna find yourself in love