Love Section, The (2013) Movie Script
(SPANISH MUSIC PLAYING)
It's Cinco de Mayo
out there.
(WHISPERING)
Are you up?
Hey, Lisa, uh, I just wantd
to say...
The name's Angela, by the way.
I know I...
Shh.
It is quiet time, playboy.
You just don't forget
to call me, okay?
Let yourself out.
Yes, we're scheduled to close
escrow on Friday, Mr. Baker.
Great, so I'll see you on
Thursday for the walk-through.
Okay, talk to you soon. Bye.
Me-lo-dy!
Hey, Joel, what's up?
Hola, Senor.
You got my text message, huh?
I don't know how
she sleeps at night.
(IN SPANISH ACCENT)
Tell me a little bit more
about this Angela.
Wow! It was incredible, Joel.
One of the more fascinating
evenings of my young life.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Did you just
say fascinating?
Yes, sir.
Yo, man, I gotta hear
about this, man.
Tell me what happened.
Well, first we went out
for dinner and then she
invited me to her place.
And I gotta tell you,
she did some things
that I did not think
a woman could do.
Potential side chick?
Oh, yes, sir.
(WOMAN MOANING)
Sorry about that, dog.
Joel, you really need
to do something about
that porn, bro.
No, no, no.
I beg to differ, bro.
Porno is one
of the main reasons that
I'm happily married today.
(LAUGHS)
I mean, you know me, man,
I love my wife,
but you need balance.
(LAUGHS)
All right, I'll tell you.
You the man.
Listen, man,
you are never
gonna be able
to settle down
if you don't start
beating off!
(ALI LAUGHS)
Look, Joel, I gotta go.
Wait, wait, hold on.
Just hear me out, man.
I mean, you have to be in tune
with your inner self, man.
I mean, beating off
is like a art.
You know what I mean,
like Picasso, Rembrandt?
You know the dude who used
the paint the paintings
on Good Times?
Listen, it ain't just abt
pulling your skin back, .
You gotta find a zone,
a rhythm. You gotta get in
there, you gotta stay there.
You know what I'm saying,
just gotta ride,
gotta ride the rhythm.
You know what I mean?
(ALI LAUGHS)
Laugh
if you want to.
I gotta go, all right?
You're killing me.
I will see you tonight.
All right, man. Hey!
Jack it.
(SIGHS)
JOEL: Oh, boy! Oh, boy!
I see my man over there,
looking like the Unabomb.
Looking like kill someboy
at any minute. Nice shir.
Where they do that at?
Y'all look good.
Y'all look good.
Oh, boy!
Yo, where are my Mexican
brothers and sisters at?
Hola!
Hola, mami! Aye yai yai!
Yo! I got a question.
What's up with all
the loud talking?
Yo, my neighbor, Jose,
this dude, is like
my personal alarm clock.
Like every morning 6:00...
Oh, yeah?
I was just telling
Joel about that earlier.
(MIMICKING IN SPANISH)
It's ridiculous, you know?
Salud!
Salud to you, too,
mami, esta bonita!
You need agrande papi,
I'll do it.
Hey, yo, but I'm gonna me
this show on.
Coming up next is
a very good friend of mi,
very funny. He's
from Oakland, California.
My man Pee Wee!
Show some love
for my main man, Joel!
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
Joel in the house!
So, I'm Pee Wee,
show me some love!
Pee Wee in the house,
you know how it is.
Ladies, ladies,
Pee Wee's in the house!
Yo, who's married
in the house? Anybody married
or got their old lady?
I tell my old lady,
see, like,
I'm a morning sex person.
I like to do mine
in the morning!
Now, morning people,
make some noise.
That's what I'm talking about!
See, I like to do it
in the morning.
So, one morning,
I'm waking up...
Uh-oh. Joel's night-vision
is on point, bro.
PEE WEE: Get off me.
What do you mean
"get off you"?
Oh, man. That's Steph.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
Steph. Old Steph,
with the titties!
Steph, who?
She looks
pretty hot to me.
You know what it is!
Like, oh, I see how it g.
I need to see what
her friend is talking about,
so, you gotta take one
for the team.
Ahh! Ali, man.
I said,
"Well, let me ask you th.
"Do you have a dentist's
appointment this morning"
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
Ah!
Y'all know what
I'm talking about.
Show Pee Wee some love!
That's what I'm talking about!
So listen, y'all,
that's about time.
I'm Pee Wee
from the Oak Town!
Show me some love,
I'm up outta here.
Thank you, thank you
and good night!
Yo, give it up again
for my man Pee Wee!
Yo, this next comic
coming to the stage,
is a very funny man.
He's performed everywhere.
Give it up for my man
J.J. Johnson!
(APPLAUSE)
Oh, shit!
J.J.: Hey, how y'all doing?
His name is Chris. I thought
his ass was on cocaine,
'cause he keeps sniffing up
his damn nose!
Chris? You never told me
about no Chris.
'Cause it didn't
last long, girl.
What's he do?
He a lawyer.
A lawyer? A lawyer?
Girl, are you crazy?
A cheap-ass lawyer, honey.
Oh!
(APPLAUSE)
Yo, give it up again
for my man, J.J. Johnson!
Yo! So I wanna thank y'all
for coming out tonight to get
your giggle on at Giggles.
We're gonna do it
the same time next week.
Until then,
peace and love!
Ha, ha, ha!
What up? What up?
Yo!
Next week, new material.
I did new material.
Yo, Steph!
Funny seeing you here.
Oh, my God! Chris,
what a surprise!
Good to see you.
All right,
well it's been good.
Right. Okay.
Hey, Steph,
this is my friend Ali.
Ali, Stephenie. Your friend?
Hi. This is Sandrine.
Nice to meet you.
Hi, nice to meet you.
What y'all about to do?
About to get some food.
All right, it's good
to see you. All right.
Great. Good to see you.
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
We would like to
treat you two ladies
to a late night meal.
Look, last week,
it was my girlfriend.
This week, I did it
with my wife.
It's like a
different dynamics.
Right?
Chris treating? Word?
Word! Who knew?
And it happens
all the time.
Okay, all right.
Well, it was nice
to meet you.
It's been real. Okay.
Bring your ass...
Come to the diner.
New material, man.
Just make me look good.
Okay, okay, man. You know,
I'll do my fiancee next week.
All right, man.
All right.
Ahem.
I guess, uh, I'm the
third wheel, huh?
Sandrine,
this my
good friend, Joel.
Hi, nice
to meet you.
Pleasure is all mine.
So, you enjoy
the show?
I did. You are
a very funny host.
You said,
what you say? What?
You are a
very funny host.
Oh, well,
thank you
very kindly.
And you be sure
to come back
now, you hear?
Okay, cowboy.
Well, I can see y'all
all up in
the love section,
so, I'm gonna go ahead
and head home because
I love my wife.
Okay.
For sure! Make sure you do it
before Judge Mathis, man.
You know how we do!
That's funny,
The love section.
That's cute.
So are you.
Thank you.
No, see,
that's not right.
It's not a Don Juan
pick-up line.
It sounds like it.
STEPH: What is it?
You sure
you're not pimping?
STEPH: What about you? In the
comedy club recruiting?
Right.
Ah, see you guys
are funny.
No, all I'm saying
is it's a figure of speech.
STEPH: Mmm-hmm.
Like, life is good.
Seriously?
Like seriously, Chris!
Why? Why? Why?
You digging up your nose
and we trying to eat.
Correction, I'm simply
grooming my nose hairs.
"Simply grooming"
your nose hairs?
See, this is why we didn't
work in the first place.
No, we didn't work because
you're a broke ass!
Excuse me?
Broke ass, you're excused.
Let me tell your
little cheap ass something.
You know what, next time...
Time out, folks.
Folks!
Chill.
Guess what? Guess what?
Guess what?
My dog just died. I gotta go.
(SANDRINE LAUGHS)
What dog?
Her name is Chris.
You ain't got no dog!
Not no more. The bitch died!
She choked on a mother...
She choked on a frank.
Check, please.
(JOEL HUMMING)
Focus, buddy, focus.
It's okay, I'm about
to free my people
right now.
This is
the last game, bro.
Two out of three
ass-whoopings is enough.
I'm not trying to lose
your friendship
over no game, man.
Whatever! Chess gods are just
shining on you, that's all.
Hmm.
I'm about to get down here,
and talk to your pieces.
Y'all don't know each other,
but that's why
you always lose.
You know, the gods of love
shining on you
the other night, though.
What's up with
the cutie at 9:00?
Oh, Sandrine! Yeah.
I'm gonna call her tonight.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't look too thirsty,
you know what I'm saying?
Smart move!
Thank you.
Not that move.
Checkmate!
Oh! Damn, damn, damn!
So, what's the 411 on her?
Well, she's 20, in school.
And has a son.
Yeah, but he's not
in the picture.
He live in Africa?
No, he's in LA.
Then he's still
in the picture, man!
(JOEL GROANING)
Okay, what's up?
What's up?
So he's 32, huh?
He's a player in his prime.
How many kids?
No kids.
No kids?
Look, see, that ain't nothing
but selfishness.
And he's afraid to take
actual responsibility,
and I don't like it.
I don't like it.
Maybe he's just waiting
for the right woman, Steph.
Yeah, I wouldn't
bet on it.
So anyway, where does he work?
Or does he?
You are gonna overdose
on all that hate, right now.
No, seriously. Seriously.
I was just saying!
What?
He's a real estate agent.
She sounds perfect!
A perfect chick
on the side, man.
But not wifey?
Er, I mean...
Look, she has the looks
to be wifey.
You know what I'm saying?
But, I mean, she's 20,
you're 32, that's strike one.
Baby daddy is still lurking
loosely in the building, B!
That's strike two!
And lastly, she's still
in school which means
no dough.
That's strike three,
homey.
(SIGHS) Hmm.
Does he rent
or does he own?
Why?
He rents.
Give me my cup.
Give me my cup.
I'm not playing with you.
I'm serious, right there.
What?
Rent? Rent? Seriously?
What's that mean?
A real estate agent that
rents an apartment?
Do you want your drink or
do you want to know what
that means first?
I wanna know
what that means.
Super underachiever.
That's what that means.
Here.
Seriously,
that ain't right.
Thank you.
Look, I love you. I do.
But you acting like
I'm gonna marry this guy
tomorrow though.
Well, all I'm saying is
I don't want you falling
for another Jamal
on my watch.
See, 'cause I don't
have the time for it.
What are you talking about?
I met Jamal when I was 15!
Like, don't you think
I'm a better judge
of character by now?
(MIMICS) Don't you think
I'm a better
judge of character by now?
No! What I'm saying...
Look, perfect example, Troy!
Oh, boy.
Troy!
Okay, so I used to think Troy
was America's number one
deadbeat dad,
in the world.
But anyway, ever since
Jamal started coming around,
seriously, he makes Troy
look like Bill Cosby.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
No, no, no.
Jamal's trying.
Now, who's at the door?
Who you expecting?
Nobody! Who you expecting?
(SARCASTICALLY)
I don't know. I don't know.
Oh, speaking
of the devil.
Hey, Jamal.
What up? What up?
Why are y'all so quiet?
What? You been talking
about me again and stuff?
No!
(COUGHS) A little bit.
Whatever, Steph.
What's up?
Hey, how you doing? Why
you always acting so paranoid?
I am not paranoid,
just Scary Spice over here
gossip too damn much.
Anyway, um, just wanted
to give you this.
Thank you.
Yeah, so...
Junior's with my mom.
Oh, okay. Okay.
What you looking at?
Anyway, buy my little man
something nice.
And get yourself
something, too.
Thanks, Jamal.
All right.
Bye, Jamal.
(DOOR CLOSES)
I want Ali's first name,
last name, social security,
credit card number,
everything. Seriously!
I'm telling you, I've been
thinking about you
since we left the diner.
(SANDRINE LAUGHS)
You could've fooled me.
We met Sunday.
Today is what? Thursday?
Well, I figured since
you're in school and stuff...
Oh, yeah? Or is it
the three-day rule?
(LAUGHS)
No comment!
Look, Mommy,
Little Young Sheezy!
Hold on.
Mmm-hmm, it's
Little Young Sheezy, baby.
Go to bed.
Okay.
Bye.
Little Young Sheezy?
Yeah! You never heard of him?
No, I haven't.
How about
DJ Shorty Rap-a-lot?
(ALI LAUGHS)
DJ Shorty Rap-a-lot?
No.
I think I'm out the loop.
Well, what kind
of music do you like?
I like my classic hip-hop and,
of course, a little R&B.
Me, too.
Really? Okay, well,
give me your top five singers
of all time.
Top five singers, okay.
Um, Sade.
Aretha Franklin,
Mary J. Blige...
Um, Sade, Mary J. Blige,
Aretha...
Luther, Big and Little Luther.
And, um, who else?
Marvin Gaye.
Hmm, nice.
I thought I might hear Ray J
coming out of your mouth.
No, no, no.
All right, your turn.
Your top five emcees. Go!
Emcees? Whoa, you didn't
say rappers, you said emcees?
Okay, okay.
Yeah, it's a difference, and
if Heavy D is not on your
list, then I'm hanging up.
Hev D? Girl, what do you
know about Hev D?
You're like 20.
Yeah, my dad used to always
tell me I'm a old soul.
He used to?
Yeah, he passed away
two years ago.
Oh, I'm sorry.
That's okay.
Yep, just me,
myself and I.
Okay, Beyonce.
More like De La Soul.
So, I figured, um,
I'll bake a little chicken,
grill some corn,
some rice.
How does that sound?
Hello?
Sandrine? Hello?
Michael, I told you
ahead of time,
as soon as your offer to buy
the house was accepted,
you needed to get
those inspections.
Ali, all I care about
is my wife not telling me,
"I told you so"
about buying this house.
Now, I told her I got this!
That means, you got this!
All you got is me paying
a bunch of inspection fees.
I'm not paying, like, a what,
a physical fee, a roof fee,
a termite fee?
And my toilet?
My whole house?
This toilet got my whole
house smelling like diarrhea!
Didn't I tell you to get a
sewer scope inspection?
Come on, bro, I don't
remember that.
Michael, I told you
and I e-mailed you.
Ah, yeah,
but come on, Ali.
I told you, if there's
anything wrong, we can get
your purchase price lowered,
or get you credited
at closing.
(SIGHS) Ali.
Come on, man,
let me tell you something.
These inspections, man,
they cost like $250
and up!
Did you know that?
Yes, I know that.
And that's why I told you.
Otherwise, you end up
in your situation,
knee deep in shit.
You got that right!
Look, man, my wife's
coming through this door
in about
five minutes, and when this
smell hits her, she's gonna
hit me in the back
of the head.
You understand? I'm dead.
You hear me?
Look, Michael, I got someone
that's pretty good and cheap.
Let me e-mail him and
I'll hit you back.
Okay, now, cheap,
Ali, that's what
I'm looking for.
A little bit of help.
All right?
Can you handle that?
Get me a deal, bro, please.
Get me a deal.
No worries.
All right, I'll be plungering.
I'm gonna have toilet water
all in my eyes, ears and...
Oh!
Oh, damn! Can you hear me?
Not the phone!
I'm telling you, Joel,
never do business
with friends. Never.
Who are you
talking about?
Michael.
Oh, man, that's...
Except for me, because not
only am I your friend,
I'm your best friend.
Yeah, but with
your jacked up credit,
there's nothing
to worry about.
Whatever, man.
Look, apartments for life.
Shall we play chess?
All right, man.
I only got about an hour, man.
I gotta be at the club
at 7:00.
You coming through tonight?
Yeah, we'll be there
about 8:00.
You and wifey?
Wifey?
(IN JAMAICAN ACCENT)
Easy, selector, hold tight.
I'm saying, man,
y'all been going strong.
It's been like a couple
of weeks now, right?
Yeah, but Angela's
not feeling it.
She texted me
five times today.
Hmm, that's why she's
the side chick, you know.
But, what's up with Sandrine?
I mean, you catching feelings?
I wouldn't say all that.
I'm just giving her
a good look.
A good look, huh?
(LAUGHS)
(JUNIOR CRYING)
Okay, Junior, please stop
crying. Mommy's coming.
(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
Girl, where you at?
having a tantrum and
I'm trying to study.
All right, pops,
don't let that
young one get away!
Come on, she's
not that young.
Oh, what?
She was in the second grade
when we were seniors.
Whatever.
All right, man.
Get your ass locked up, man.
That girl is borderline
jailbait, yo.
You act like she's 12!
You met her kid yet?
No.
You hit it yet?
No.
You mow the lawn?
No.
Okay.
You all right?
Yeah, like I said.
I am just giving her
a good look.
Any tongue yet?
Yes! Now, can we please play?
All right. All right.
JOEL: All right, man.
You ever saw that show
To Catch a Pervert?
(BOTH LAUGHING)
JOEL: Yo, don't you hate it
when your
best friend falls in love
and then he gives you, lik,
"the best friend time out"?
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
Best friends are like
a married couple,
you know what am saying?
It's like... You be like,
"Hey, man, I'm not been
feeling good about
"our situation, so I
wanna talk.
"We haven't been playing
chess like we used to.
"Like, I call you, it takes
you a minute to call me back,
"like what's
going on, where are we
"where are we at in our
relationship?
"It's ridiculous."
I love Roscoe's.
Yeah, you know. Gotta
love the Roscoe's, right?
Yeah, well, hold it good,
so it doesn't spill out.
You know what?
Joel is gonna kill me
for missing
the show tonight.
We can go by there,
could swing by Joel's.
Yeah?
But you're gonna
miss dessert.
Dessert?
Yes.
Joel will be all right.
Let's make moves.
You're funny.
Want me to hold it?
Yeah.
I have a way with a woman
And when we
converse sometimes
I can feel her smiling
She swears
I can read her mind
I have a way with a woman
She says I can do no wrog
She calls me her darling
She swears
I am the words to her sog
She says ooh I love him
She says ooh I need him
She says ooh I want him
She says I have
a way with her
Aw, is this your mom?
Yeah.
You guys close?
Yeah, we're pretty close.
And when she
lies with me...
Always tells me,
"I am going to disown you
"unless you give me
some grandkids."
I understand that.
Do you want kids?
Yeah.
I mean, with the right woman
at the right time, of course.
Um, I'm cooking
dinner tonight.
If you're not too busy,
you should come by.
Hmm, sounds good.
I guess I passed the test?
Sure did.
You know I can't just
be having random men
around my son.
I hear you, sweetie.
I will be there starving.
Good.
(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
You need to get that?
I have all I need right here.
Really?
Mmm-hmm.
Just you and I.
In the love section?
All day.
(VIDEO GAME GUNFIRE)
Hey, Junior.
Hey, Mom, do
you want to play?
You know I do, but first,
I want you to meet
my friend Ali.
Hey, there. How you
doing, Junior?
Put that down.
I am fine.
Yeah?
You like sports?
What you looking at me for?
You like football, right?
You can answer him.
What's your favorite
football team?
Me and my dad like
the Steelers.
I'm sorry.
Give that to him.
Oh, that's sweet, thank you.
That's really sweet.
I'll be right back.
All right. First impressions
are priceless.
SANDRINE: Mmm-hmm.
Come on.
Okay, Junior, what do you
wanna say to Ali?
Thank you.
Oh, you're welcome.
Hey, can we play
the game sometime?
Okay.
Cool.
Now, it's time
for bed, okay?
You can play football
tomorrow.
Mommy loves you.
Get some rest.
Okay.
Say goodnight to Ali.
Goodnight, Ali.
Goodnight.
Did you just
bribe my baby?
I plead the Fifth.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
That's my mom. Come on.
I made her a plate.
You ready to meet my mom?
Hey, Momma.
Hey, doll face.
Oh!
Well, hello.
Hi.
Mom, this is Ali.
Ali, this is my mom.
You can call her
Ms. Darden.
Oh, wow. Nice to meet you,
Ms. Darden.
Ali, I've heard wonderful
things about you.
Sandrine wasn't lying,
you two can pass for sisters.
Thank you,
but I'm the mama.
JUNIOR: Grandma!
Hi, Nana's baby.
See?
What you got?
Look, Nana,
I've been playing football.
And you know Nana wants
you to be a football player.
Where'd you get that?
From Ali.
Well, thank you, Ali.
Well, now I know this your
night-night time.
Did you just get up so you
can give Nana a hug
and some sugar?
Mmm-hmm.
Yes, well come on
and give it to me.
Night-night, okay?
Okay.
All right.
SANDRINE: Good night.
So, do I have a plate?
Yes, I'll go get it.
I hear that you are
in real estate.
Yeah, about 10 years now.
Wow, that's a long time.
Yeah, it's a little crazy
sometimes but...
It gets crazy.
But the important thing is
you love it.
Mmm-hmm.
You know my mom
says the same thing.
"Never settle for less."
I like her.
Okay, you guys talked.
Got acquainted.
Well, it's all wrapped
and ready to go.
Yup.
Should've just
FedEx-ed this to me.
Just making me feel like
you're kicking me out.
Okay. Okay.
Okay, that's all right.
I get it. I'm leaving.
Call you in the morning?
Yes.
Love you.
I love you.
Love you, too.
Don't be a stranger.
Don't be strange.
Ma!
Call the police.
Ma!
Good night.
Good night, Mom.
Call me when
you're home.
Okay.
All right.
That's my mom.
It's all good.
Your mom
is pretty cool.
Yeah?
She liked you.
Really?
Yep.
How could you tell?
Because she said
don't be a stranger.
That's our code.
Ah!
I am gonna
check on Junior.
Okay.
And slip into something more
comfortable.
Ooh.
You know what that's
code for, right?
Mmm-hmm.
Okay.
I'll be right back.
(SOFT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
Where is my mommy?
I am right here, baby,
you okay?
Come on, Mommy, bed time.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
Okay, go back in your room.
Mommy's coming.
I'm just gonna say
goodbye to Ali.
Okay. Sorry.
He can't sleep sometimes.
It's okay. No worries.
You sure?
Little Ali gonna
be all right?
Yeah, he'll be
all right.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Yeah, all right.
JUNIOR: Mommy.
I got to go. I'm sorry.
I'm coming, baby.
(RINGING)
Hey. Yeah,
I'm on my way.
(SENSUAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
Wow, Junior, you're
pretty smart.
How old are you?
I'm five.
Oh.
Hey.
(SNORING LOUDLY)
Oh! Yeah!
Yeah! Work it!
I'm just trying to make it.
Get it out!
Just kicking it.
You can't throw.
Look at it.
It's part of your facial, man,
'cause I come up
on you like this.
That's when you know you're...
I'm here to do something,
you know what I'm saying?
How you do it?
You don't wanna
see these, man.
You don't wanna see...
Look at that! Boom!
Ugh.
Oh, what you mad, man?
Game, bro.
Good game.
You still a bum, though.
A bum? Man, you shooting
jump shots all day!
That's pretty soft, bro.
Whatever.
I'm just saying, yo.
But don't even trip, man.
My game tanked, too
when I first
met my wife.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
I'm just saying, man.
You're going through
a little transitional phase.
But you'll be back.
You'll be back.
Hey, words of wisdom, man.
That's what I do.
What you getting
into tonight?
We're just chilling.
Little DVD.
Yeah.
I'm making it a
DVD night, too.
Yeah?
Mmm-hmm. I just got
this new Melody Juggs DVD.
Man, I can't wait.
Here you go.
Let me tell you something, yo.
You know, I love my wife.
But if I met her?
It might have to go down.
It might go down?
Ali, it might
go down.
Whoa!
I am trying to figure out
right now in my head.
Look, you gotta come.
It's gonna be popping.
It's not just any event.
It's like the whole weekend.
I can't do both days.
That's all I'm saying.
Okay, well then
come tonight.
I can't do tonight.
Saturday.
What is it?
Family night?
We're just gonna
watch movies.
All right, all right.
I guess we could do Saturday.
Okay, Saturday.
You promise?
I promise.
Pinky swear?
I pinky swear.
Okay.
Let's go back.
I'm back.
What'd you get Ali?
Your favorite.
Yay! Mommy, can
I have some popcorn?
Sure.
Oh, here you go.
Here you go. It's a spare,
you can have it.
Ali, are you gonna
give Mommy your key?
Junior.
You gave her your key?
Yes.
This is major
progress, Ali.
I mean you are entering
unchartered waters.
I know, bro.
Oh, man.
Honey, so...
Heard you got the new keys
to Cribbington.
That means 24-hour access.
Yeah, but I'm
gonna call first.
No surprises?
There's nothing like
the greatest surprises.
See you are
supposed to be, look...
Go in there,
with some heels
and a jacket. Wham!
Trench coat.
Trench coat. Right there.
It's just that moment,
you know...
Like from the movie.
With nothing under. Just heels
and a trench and you good.
What about the pop-up?
She'll call first.
You sure?
Yeah.
What's up with the side chick?
She's still blowing you up?
Well, I actually saw Angela
the other night,
and I am about to
fade that out.
So, Miss Pretty Young
Thing must be looking
pretty good, huh?
Yes, she is.
Hmm, my man. My man.
(YAWNS)
Yeah.
I am in for the night.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'll see you in a bit.
All right, babe.
Hey, I baked some cookies.
Come on in and have a seat.
I got this young thig
young thing
I got this young thig
young thing...
Sandy, where are you at?
You are not trapped in a
closet are you?
Where are you going, Ali?
Why don't you have a seat?
Want a cookie?
Uh, no.
We made them special for you.
Chocolate chip.
Not hungry.
All right, well...
What are you doing here, Ali?
Uh, here to see Sandy.
Oh. No. I didn't know
she was... I didn't know that.
No, I thought she was 20.
Oh.
You know, if you don't want
to be here, you can leave.
You can, I mean...
Have a good day.
Go on.
I said down on the floor!
I am on the floor!
Got a smart ass here.
Help!
You're under arrest, perv!
You think this is a game?
Hip-hop, my ass, you
damn pervert. Get your
punk ass over there.
Hey!
I'm not a perv.
I'm not a perv.
She said she was 20.
What?
How old are you?
How old are you?
I'm 20. What?
Lay down.
What happened?
Oh, God.
Honey, we have your special
birthday gift 'cause you are
very, very special.
So, can we say
happy birthday
to my baby.
That's, right.
Happy birthday.
ALL: Happy birthday!
You know,
like Jay-Z said,
And Jigga knows best.
Right, if 30 is the new 20,
then that would
make you what Sandrine?
A preteen? (LAUGHS)
Ooh, honey.
Stop it. Stop it.
I'm sorry.
And that would make
your friend here, who?
R. Kelly?
BOTH: Ohh!
It was just a dream.
I'm just playing.
(GUNFIRE ON VIDEO GAME)
I got you now.
Oh, no you don't.
Boom!
Aw!
You going down, buddy.
Oh, yeah? Take that!
Oh!
Oh, and also this.
Pretty good there. Okay.
Watch.
Watch this move.
Missed me.
You're sneaky!
I won, Ali!
You the man.
You the man.
You the man.
You won. Okay.
What does the winner get?
The giraffe.
What does the loser get?
Twenty slaps in the face.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Hey, Jamal.
Hi, what's going on?
Daddy's here!
You really should call first.
I am disturbing you
or something?
Daddy!
Hey, man.
Oh, boy.
How's my little guy?
I'm fine, Daddy.
Me and Ali
were just playing Tekken.
You and Ali?
Jamal, this is
my boyfriend, Ali.
I see you got the
whole family thing
jumping off.
What's up, man?
(WHISPERS)
That little boy right there?
That's my son.
Just don't
get it twisted.
Daddy, do you wanna
play Tekken?
Nah, I can't right now,
little man.
I promise, I'm gonna come by
next weekend and see you.
Okay, Daddy.
Come here.
Your boyfriend so much
as breathe hard on Junior...
Goodbye, Jamal.
Hey, Jamal.
Can we chop
it up for a minute?
I got a second. What's up?
Okay. Me and Junior are going
to be in the back cleaning up
those toys, aren't we?
JUNIOR: Yep.
Look, um...
I respect you
as Junior's dad.
And putting myself
in your shoes,
I would never
interfere with that.
And that's man-to-man.
Look. I appreciate you
trying to holler at me.
But, that little man
in there is all I got.
We could just leave it
at that, man.
(DOOR CLOSES)
(JUNIOR SNORING LOUDLY)
Probably not till late.
Trying to figure
some things out here.
What's up?
Not real estate.
I was seeing that on the news,
man. They say the market's
at an all-time low.
Yeah. It's, uh,
raining foreclosures.
Yeah, but it'll come right
back up, right?
They say it go in cycles.
Yeah, but the queen prick
is on my ass at work.
(FAST-FORWARDED DIALOGUE)
She needs
to just get laid.
Yeah, but not by me.
Honestly, though,
I need to start
my own agency.
What's stopping you
from doing it, man?
Make it happen.
You know James Johnson
of the H.F. Group?
He's this big time real
estate mogul.
Nah, I don't know him.
Well, I'm sure you notice
all the renovation going
on downtown, right?
Yeah, traffic is a bitch,
all day.
Mmm-hmm.
Well, that's their contracts.
I have a meeting with
James Johnson, the CEO,
next week.
I mean, do you know what
that means if I get
this contract?
You'll pay me back
that $30 you owe me?
Yes, plus interest.
Well, that sound like
a power move, man.
Why don't you come on down
to Giggles and, you know,
we'll drink to it.
(CELL PHONE BEEPS)
Hold on a second.
All right.
Hey, sweetie.
Hold on. Hold on.
that's Sandrine.
I'm gonna hit you back.
All right, man. I'm going to
finish what I'm doing,
get dressed
and head down to Giggles, man.
I'll just holler
at you tomorrow.
Okay, cool.
Have a good show.
All right, bro.
Hey, what's up, sweetie?
I'm good. How are you?
Yeah. Yeah. I'm cool.
Okay.
You've been somewhat
distant lately.
Yeah. I'm sorry. I...
I couldn't sleep
the other night.
Sorry.
Anything you want
to talk about?
No. Just...
Dealing with work.
Okay.
Well, maybe I can cheer
you up. What are you doing
tomorrow night?
Tomorrow...
I'm going to this real
estate marketing seminar,
down by LAX.
All right. So, if you are
not too tired after that,
maybe I can swing by.
Well, let me see.
We might go get drinks
afterwards,
but I'll give you
a call, okay?
Okay.
All right.
I'll talk to you later.
Okay. Bye.
There is a God, bro.
Whoa, whoa.
You got the number?
Did I? Melody just came
to my show to see me.
And you are asking me,
"Did I get the number?"
Okay. Let me rephrase that.
Are you going to call her?
Call her?
I'm heading over there
to see her tonight, man.
What?
You know how I do.
How long is a
seminar thing, anyway?
It's about to be 12:00, Sandy.
He said they might go
out for drinks after.
Call again.
Okay.
Look at you.
Couldn't wait.
Still going to voicemail.
Look. I say go over there
in your birthday suit
and get it popping.
I thought of that. I would.
But his phone is off.
Honey, if he is as stressed as
you are making it seem like
what you doing all right now.
If I was you, I'd go over
there buck naked
and I bet you that'll put
a smile on his face.
You're right.
I know.
Besides, what's better
than drunk sex?
All right, then. So, on that
point. Go, call him.
Thank you.
SANDRINE:
Okay, I'll call you tomorrow.
I know, okay.
Oh, shit!
(TENSE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
Hey, baby, what's going on?
Where's the whipped cream?
(WHISPERING)
What are you doing?
Go! Go get dressed.
My girlfriend's here.
(WHISPERING)
Girlfriend?
Oh! Hell no!
Bring her in.
Go. Bring her in.
Go get dressed.
Bring her in!
(MOUTHING)
I'm not getting dressed.
I want to meet this bitch.
Now? What are you doing?
Open the damn door!
Maybe not.
Ali!
(BANGING ON DOOR)
Ali!
Girl, he's not even
coming to the door.
This is silly.
It was a bad idea.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Oh!
Look who's home. Wow.
Remember, I told you the door
was broken last week.
Sounds like
such a coincidence.
I know, but...
But, what?
I've been calling you
for the last three hours.
Your phone is going
straight to voicemail.
My battery died. I called you
as soon as I got home.
And then what about
the time when you left
my apartment early.
Now I'm wondering,
where'd you go?
I went home.
Wow.
Wow. You know I came here
thinking we were going
to get somewhere tonight.
I should have
stayed home.
Wait.
What?
What do you
want me to do?
You want me to what,
make something up?
No. You are doing a
really good job of that,
right now.
Thought I was the young one
in the relationship.
What are you doing?
The door's broke,
remember?
I don't need those.
Sandrine!
I miss you when
you with me, girl.
Things are going
really good at work.
Yeah. We're getting along now.
Thank goodness.
That's good.
I'm gonna finish cooking
this food for you.
You are the best husband.
What did you say?
I said you are the best.
Say it again.
You are the best husband.
Oh, honey. You know what?
I told the girls that we
were going shopping
and I am late. Let's see
what time it is.
Yeah. Actually, we're supposed
to be there right now.
I'll be back in a
couple of hours, okay?
Hurry up and come on back.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Oh, you want me
to get that?
Oh, no. I got it.
It ain't nobody but Ali.
Hey, yo! Come on in, boss.
(DOOR OPENS)
What's up, champ?
I'm good. I'm good.
Have a seat, man.
What's up with those burners?
Man, about to get my
Chef Boyardee on.
Hey, Ali.
Hey, Jackie.
How are you?
I'm good.
How's Sandrine?
She's okay.
Good.
Okay, honey. I'll be back
in a couple of hours.
Okay.
Be good.
Hurry back. I love you.
I love you, too.
Don't sell that kind of
chocolate no more, boy.
Hey, I got
something for you.
What's up?
This.
It's the ass porn.
Ebony porn.
Miscellaneous.
Now,
I know you don't do porn.
I know this.
But do whatever
you want to with this, man.
I don't care. eBay,
Craigslist, man.
You can get a lot of money
for this shit on the streets.
Just get it out of here, man.
Like, I'm done.
Wait. Wait.
What happened?
Man.
Let's just say, I had a
wake-up call last night.
I mean, it's about to be
a new year.
No more porno
for me, man.
Whoa. So...
Melody...
Nothing happened?
So she invited me
to the set,
man, where she was filming.
Long story short, man,
things got hot and heavy.
I'm kind of confused, right.
I don't understand.
What do you want me to do
in this scene?
Bitch, I need
you to emote.
Emote.
Emote.
Emote. Yeah.
Can you do that?
Miss Juggs, I have a
Joel Long here to see you.
Yes.
What's up, man?
Follow me, babe.
Okay.
All right, dog.
What's up, man?
Thanks, man. Good work.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Good work on you.
What is that? You using
the penis pump?
No.
Oh.
Sorry, love, I had to
change real quick.
(SENSUAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
You know, I was,
ahem,
real surprised to see you
at my show yesterday.
Yeah, my girlfriend went
a few weeks ago.
She said that the show
was really great and
the host was really cute.
(STAMMERING) I was just...
Yo, I was hosting.
Well, you tell
your girlfriend, that,
you know, drinks are
on me next week.
Well,
looks like I know my lines.
I bet, it's, um,
real hard
for you to, um...
(STAMMERING)
...to memorize
all them lines, huh?
Well, it is.
But, I studied Shakespeare.
Damn, Melody.
They even bigger than
they is on the video!
Oh, you've seen my movie?
Oh? What?
I mean, come on,
I don't, you know...
You know, like
maybe once or twice.
That's it? Yeah.
Seven, 18.
(MUFFLED TALKING)
MELODY: Oh, baby.
JOEL: Huh?
Baby?
Baby?
You all right?
JOEL: Huh?
You act like
you've seen a ghost.
No, no, no, no.
It's just that I keep...
Damn.
I couldn't do it, man.
All I kept thinking about
was Jackie, man.
I kept these images
popping in my head like,
it was her like playing
the harp, man.
It was crazy!
So...
Yeah.
So, nothing?
No. But, it ain't
what you think though.
'Cause...
You ever tried Viagra?
No. No. I'm fine. I'm good.
You know what I'm saying.
I just, um...
I got to be honest. I keep...
Keep thinking, uh,
about my wife.
Right. Yeah.
No. I mean, it has nothing
to do with you. You...
I know. It's cool.
You've never been with
a celebrity before.
It's cool.
Yeah. Okay.
That's...
That's all right.
You know what, I gotta...
I gotta go.
So?
Y'all didn't...
Nothing?
Well, I did have
them jugs in my face.
I did do that.
But that's it, man.
Yo, and I felt so relieved
when I left.
And I know I say this
all the time, man,
but I love my wife.
Wow.
Well, I might need a couple
of these pornos, bro.
What?
Yeah, Sandrine broke up
with me last night.
Which...
What happened?
She came by
when I had this chick,
Becky, over.
Becky?
Yeah, you don't know her.
I met her at the 7-Eleven.
So what? What,
you got caught?
Not technically.
I wouldn't let her in.
Like I kept the top bolt
locked and...
You kept the top bolt locked?
What are you...
(SIGHS)
She did a pop-up.
I told you
about the pop-up, man!
(SIGHS)
I know.
So, what happened next?
(SIGHS)
Well, after I got Becky
out of there
I called her,
she came over and...
I tried to talk to her,
but she wasn't having it.
Of course not, man.
She's young, not dumb.
You know what,
though, man, I've been
thinking...
(SIGHS)
I'm just tired
of playing house.
The baby daddy...
Ms. Prick stressing me
out at work. I mean...
Yo, I just need
a break, man.
I'm sorry, man.
I mean, you good?
You all right?
Yeah, yeah. I'm...
I'm cool, man.
Look... Let's...
Get some burgers
over there...
Come on, man.
Yeah.
ALI: There's no place
like home.
There's no place
like home.
There's no place
like home.
(SIGHS)
It worked for Dorothy.
Did you say something, baby?
Go back to sleep.
Will I find love again?
Or will I convince mysf
I'm still in love with yu
Don't say it's not forever
'Cause it will never ed
Don't say it's not forevr
Our love will never end
Don't say it's not forevr
'Cause it will never end
Don't say it's not forever
(ALARM CLOCK BUZZING)
(FAST-PACED
INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
Mr. Reese is here.
I'm... I'm so sorry
I'm late.
The 405, sir.
Traffic and...
Shh.
No reason to apologize to me,
Mr. Reese.
You had 30 minutes
of my time.
Then you made
the conscious decision
to waste 24 of those.
So, now you got
six minutes left.
Six minutes?
Yeah, six minutes.
Six minutes, like...
Six minutes, Doug E. Fresh,
you're on?
Ah, ah, on.
What?
On.
Mr. Reese.
(RATTLING)
Hey. Are you okay?
Uh... I've
seen better days, sir.
Let me give you some
valuable advice.
You know, something that
you can take with you.
Whenever you're meeting
with a potential client...
(ROARS)
...you don't tell them that
you've seen better days.
You now have
five minutes left.
Yes, sir.
(SIGHS)
Please, God,
get me through this.
Oh...
(CHUCKLES)
Okay, okay, okay.
out of the last four and
a half minutes that you
actually have here.
Your proposal points out how
African-American...
(ROARS)
...capitalizing on this
mortgage crisis that we're in.
With 80% being
African-American females.
My beautiful
black woman.
What are you saying?
That you would target
that market more exclusively.
Sandrine.
Come again?
The snoring,
pop-ups,
Junior.
Why did I
even mess with that?
Whoa, whoa, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Mr. Reese, what the fuck
are you talking about?
Are you here with me?
Come on, what are you saying?
Spit it out.
I just miss her
so much. I...
Right. Okay,
we're done here.
Thank you very much.
I don't have
time for this.
Whoa!
Wait. No, Mr. Johnson, uh...
Mr. Johnson, you
gotta believe...
I love her.
Oh, really?
Well, you wanna know
what I believe?
I really believe that you can
find your own way out
to the goddamn exit.
Have a good day, sir.
Wait. No...
I mean...
Mr. Johnson, I'm...
I'm serious.
It's so sincere.
Sleeping pills and Henny?
(LAUGHS)
I thought it was a glass
of water.
No wonder your ass
was bugging out, man.
Thanks a lot, bro.
Hey, that's what
I'm here for.
Now get up, bro.
Life goes on.
Life sucks.
Well, I'm sorry
it took you
first broken heart, man.
But, you ain't no different
than the rest of us, man.
We've all
had that feeling.
How did you handle it?
Cried like a baby
and beat off.
Beating off is your answer
to everything.
Yeah. That's what I've been
trying to tell you.
It's the key to life, man.
You need to start trying it.
(SIGHS)
I want her back.
You not gonna start crying
on me, is you?
Well, I miss her though.
Even little things, huh?
Yeah, I've been there, man.
Well, how do I
get her back?
Man, if you really wanna
get her back, man,
I'll help you.
But I mean, you gonna have to
shoot straight with her, man.
No more games.
No games?
What are you,
on her side now?
No, man. I'm just trying
to keep it real with you.
Oh, okay.
So, now that you're
porno-free,
you getting all
holier-than-thou on me.
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, man.
I'm here trying
to help you, man.
That was a pivotal moment
in my life!
My bad. You're right.
You're right.
I'm just saying, man.
She's a good girl.
And they don't come around
that often.
(CLUB MUSIC PLAYING)
What's wrong?
Ali?
Come on, Sandy.
Look, you got Junior,
you got school.
You got way too much
to deal with.
You got your mom.
And like honestly, for him
to be the older one,
he's not showing it.
At all.
And it's unfair.
I know.
I just trusted him and I...
Yeah, I get that.
I get that. We all trusted
someone at one time but
at the end of the day
he's lost. Oh, well.
Move on.
You don't have time
for his games.
Oh, we are late.
Look, what we gonna do...
We going to drink up,
and have a good time.
By a round of applause,
how many beaters we got
in the building?
Take it from me.
If you want a happy home,
become one with your
right hand.
You don't need help.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
You don't need Oprah,
you don't need Dr. Phil,
you don't need a therapi.
Just get your beat on.
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
I'm drawing a flower.
You know they
say you always know.
You knew daddy
was the one?
When we first met.
(CHUCKLES)
It was that easy, Mom?
No, it's never that easy.
That's what I thought.
(MIMICS) When we first met.
Yeah, well. Hey, hey...
But you know, your father,
God bless his soul,
when we first
started dating,
he got on my last nerve.
Oh...
He did?
Oh...
But he had potential.
You know? We just had
to kind of like
smooth out some
of those rough edges.
You smoothed them out.
(LAUGHS)
Indeed I did. Indeed I did.
Yes. Yes.
But he was a good man.
Ali's been calling me
and texting.
I just haven't...
I don't know...
You not ready
to talk to him?
Not yet.
Well,
in your time.
But just remember,
sometimes you don't know
what you have,
until it's gone.
Special delivery.
What are you doing here?
Well, I was paid top dollar
to personally see to it that
you receive these,
courtesy of my best friend.
Thank you.
He misses you, Sandrine.
Specially like your snoring,
your cold feet,
your eye boogers,
the way you snort.
(LAUGHS)
No, I'm just...
Really, though.
You take care,
all right?
Thanks. You, too.
ALI: Hey, Sandrine.
I want you to know that
I miss you so much.
These last few weeks have been
like no other.
I wish I could rewind the time
just to save you from
the hurt I caused you.
And it's
killing me, sweetie.
It's killing me knowing tht
I caused you the pain that
I want to ask you something
that I don't deserve.
A second chance.
Love you always.
Ali.
I just want to feel that I can
trust you, Ali.
I understand.
Completely.
You know what
my mom said?
What?
She said that
we remind her of them.
Really?
Her and your dad?
Yeah.
Wow.
That's deep.
I know.
Makes me feel real good.
I mean...
I'm just so glad
you're here.
Me too.
I missed you.
ALI: After that horrible
meeting with James Johnson,
I'm just not sure this is
the career I can retire from.
Why not?
I mean, the market is so
unstable right now.
Unless you're the boss,
you got no control.
So, there is no reward without
the risk? Got it.
But I thought settling
wasn't in your vocabulary?
You have such
a good memory.
Look, I don't know much about
real estate.
Okay. I just know that
there's plenty of it.
Buying, selling, building.
That's never gonna stop,
you'll be good.
Yes, you're right.
And that's why I wanna start
my own agency.
I know I would succeed.
Dope. What's stopping you?
Money, advertising,
marketing.
With that alone
you're talking
a couple of
thousand dollars.
To be on commercials?
No, no.
That's too expensive.
You know
those real estate ads
you see... The people
on the shopping carts.
Yeah, in the grocery store.
Well, that's what I'd
be paying for.
That exposure
would pretty much
expose me
to a wide range of
buyers and sellers.
I mean...
I wanna help you.
Yeah?
Yeah.
How?
Financially.
I can co-sign
a loan for you.
Are you serious?
(LAUGHS)
Yes.
Baby, I believe in you.
There's no guarantees
with this, Sandrine.
I know that.
Did you mean what you wrote
in that letter?
Yes.
Of course I did.
Can you guarantee it?
Wow.
You...
You're incredible.
Yes.
Thank you, baby.
You know, plus me and Junior,
we like traveling,
fine dining and all
of the above, okay?
We are gonna need to make sure
that you can provide
these things.
I won't let you down.
I love you.
I love you more.
You're not gonna be looking
all corny and stuff?
You're not going to be like...
(LAUGHS)
You know, making
those funny faces and stuff.
Oh, you got jokes.
I don't do corny.
No, you don't.
I know you don't.
This is going to be good.
A loan for 5 grand?
Yeah. Yes, sir.
I got a photo shoot in
a couple of days.
So what? Like,
your picture gonna be
on shopping carts and stuff?
Yeah, LA Times.
Bus benches.
Please, bro.
No cornball poses, man.
Don't embarrass us.
You sound like Sandrine now.
Listen, don't be surprised
if Ebony or Upscale come
calling me.
Well, if they do,
you be sure to remember
that lady of yours, man.
You got you a winner, Ali.
Trust me.
I'm well aware of that.
So much so,
I'm about to step it up.
Talk to me.
I might need a best man.
Are you available?
What?
Yeah,
her birthday is next month.
Gonna pop the question.
Oh!
That's what
I'm talking about, man.
You about to be sounding
like me, huh?
What?
You know.
BOTH: I love my wife.
Man, I'm proud of you, man.
(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
Thank you, bro.
Uh, that's her now.
Time to check in?
Welcome to the club, bro.
(LAUGHS)
She went in for
a physical exam
the doctor felt a lump
in her breast
and now she's gotta get
a biopsy.
What?
I don't...
I don't know what I'll do
if my mother has cancer.
Don't think that way.
I can't help
but think that way.
I will go crazy if something
happens to my mother.
I understand but...
How can you understand?
Your mother's fine.
And your mom's going
to be fine, too.
I don't know.
(SIGHS)
Come here.
(SIGHS)
Dear Heavenly Father,
we humbly ask you to shine
a ray
of blessings
on a very special lady.
One who not only
is a great mother,
but one who lives
a righteous path
that you laid.
In Jesus Christ we pray.
Amen.
Amen.
Thanks.
I'm here for you.
I know.
Sorry for snapping on you.
It's okay, I understand.
Good.
Because until my mother gets
a clean bill of health
I'm not going to be
much fun to be around.
I understand.
All right.
I'm gonna go.
No. I don't want
you to leave tonight.
Okay.
Okay.
What's on TV?
Oh, good.
There you go.
You're in the middle
of a threesome.
That's it. Right there.
Yeah, man.
Just imagine she's
rubbing on
your head.
One rubbing your back.
That's how you do it.
Right motivation, man.
Nice.
You getting this, dude?
Huh?
You getting this, man?
Yeah.
All right,
then get it then, man.
This is all we got.
(CAMERA CLICKING)
Well, help me
out then, bro.
Since you the man.
Right now?
Yes, please.
Gotta fix your thing tight.
Look at me, like...
(CAMERA CLICKING)
Thank you.
It's gonna turn out, man.
I'm just playing with you.
Yo. I wanna be there when
you pick out your photo.
So what?
You have no faith in me?
You will thank me
in the long run.
Trust me, bro.
You got jokes.
I hope so, man.
I'm a comedian.
Oh, man.
Time to reload, man.
Some more
of that.
Yeah, to the game then.
All right, cool, man.
But, you should
be setting up, 'cause I won
last time.
Yeah, I don't remember
that, but okay.
"I love you."
Is this from Juliet, Romeo?
Yeah, she left that on
the table this morning.
How's her mom doing?
She's going in for
her biopsy results today.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Hey.
Hey.
You thirsty?
No, thanks.
What's wrong?
They admitted my mom.
She has
metastatic breast cancer.
Mata... What is that?
A malignant tumor.
Started in her breasts. Now,
it's taking over her kidney.
I don't know.
She, she has to undergo
a surgery immediately.
She didn't even have
any symptoms.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Just like that?
It just came
out of nowhere?
A year ago, she was
complaining about
pain in her breasts.
The doctor diagnosed
it as stress related.
Stress related?
He gave her a prescription.
She said she felt better.
We thought everything
would be okay.
This is just happening
so damn fast.
Listen, whatever you need
from me, I'm there for you,
okay? Whatever.
Okay?
I know.
Just wanted to tell you.
I gotta go get Junior from
Steph's. I'm late.
Hey.
I wanna go with you to
the hospital tomorrow,
all right?
Okay.
I love you.
Bye.
(JUNIOR GROWLING)
(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
Hey, sweetie,
calling you again.
Just checking on you
and your mom.
Never heard back
from you today
so I'll just swing by tomorrow
on my way home.
I stay up late
Waiting on you
Can't go to sleep
And I'm not sure what to do
I check my phone
Time and time again
Are you with your friend?
No.
Here you come walking in
Smile when you
walk through the door
Look in my face anymore
(INDISTINCT TALKING)
SANDRINE: Hey, it's your
lucky day. Leave a message.
Hey, babe.
Just leaving you a message.
Give me a ring back,
all right?
Talk to you later, bye.
All right, Junior's in there
counting sheeps.
Thanks.
Who was that? Ali?
Yup.
Sandy, you really
need to talk to him.
I know.
Seriously.
I know.
When?
When... I will.
So have you heard
from her?
I haven't heard
anything from her.
She probably needs some
time alone. That's all, man.
I can understand that but,
let me know something.
She's just stressed
out, man. It'll pass.
Let's do this.
Hey. Hey, Sandrine.
Hey.
You think you could swing by
here tomorrow around 3:00?
Yeah, okay.
Okay.
Bye.
Well, the surgery was
a success.
Now she just has to undergo
an intensive chemotherapy.
So the outlook
is positive, right?
If she...
If she responds well
to the chemo
and goes into remission, yes.
If not, they're giving her
six months.
Six months?
She's gonna respond.
I know she will.
I pray she does.
I've been so worried
about you.
I know.
I'm sorry, I've been meaning
to return your calls.
I just got a lot
on my mind.
I've been thinking
about us.
Us? Okay.
I'm not sure what
to do right now.
What to do?
What are you talking about?
About us.
About my family.
I'm here for you
and your family.
It's not one or the other.
This isn't easy for me, Ali.
Okay?
I just don't think I can give
us all of me right now.
Listen.
You just can't turn things
off and on when something
bad happens in your life.
You really don't understand.
I understand, if something
tragic happens to me and
my family,
I expect my lady to be
there for me, just like
I'd be there for her.
Yeah but, it hasn't
happened to you, babe!
It happened to me and
my family.
Okay? I'm dealing with this
the only way I know how.
By ignoring me?
Not answering
my phone calls?
I mean, now you hit me with
the, "We need to talk"?
Okay.
I just need to be alone.
Alone?
You're breaking up
with me?
I'm sorry, Ali.
I'm sorry.
Things have changed and I'm...
What has changed
from the note you left
at my apartment?
I mean, what?
A lot.
I do love you and
I meant what I wrote.
It's just that right now...
It just doesn't make
any sense, Sandrine.
I'm trying to be here.
I'm trying to be here
for you and your family.
Ali.
I lost my dad two years ago.
And right now,
my mother is struggling,
fighting for her life.
I have that to deal with.
You know, there's that
and school and my son.
I don't have anything
for you right now.
I'm sorry.
Baby, I'm so sorry.
Okay.
Where are you going?
Good bye, Sandrine.
You're leaving?
I'll never leave you.
(SOBBING)
(UPBEAT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
I've gotta tell you,
Mr. Reese,
when my secretary presented
your sales report,
I couldn't believe
the numbers.
Well, I wasn't in
my right state of mind
the first time we first met.
Shit, you're damn right
about that.
You know you were about
six minutes
from getting your ass bounced
out of there by security.
Well, I'm glad you didn't.
That would not have been
a good look.
Well, take a look. As you
can see, we're almost done
with Community Gardens.
And in about six months
we gonna need to get it sold.
Absolutely.
We have 300 units
available.
And I'm your man
for the job.
Really?
Yes, absolutely.
All right, well,
we'll see what
we can work out.
Thank you for
the second chance,
Mr. Johnson.
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
And I'd like to
make it exclusive.
You know,
I like the way think.
I'll have my secretary
be in touch.
Thank you.
Hello?
You the waterfall man, huh?
See the fishes,
you got the alligator.
I'm just waiting for
a wild monkey to jump
out of the bushes, man.
On the for real, though, man,
like, I'm proud of you, man.
Like this is beautiful.
Thanks, Joel.
Long time coming, right?
Yes, sir.
I'll tell you though, I can
still see myself
whooping that ass
in chess right here, too.
Yo, it wouldn't matter
if you was lounging in
the White House, man.
Wouldn't nothing change.
Checkmate.
That's how I do, all right?
No matter where you is or
where you at, I bust your ass.
OPERATOR: We're sorry,
the number you have reached
is not in service.
Please check the number
or try your call again.
This is a recording.
Just remember,
sometimes you don't know
what you have until it's gone.
Well, stay in touch.
SANDRINE: Ali.
(LAUGHS)
Hi.
Wow!
Sandrine.
You look nice.
Thank you.
You look beautiful.
This is cool.
Thank you.
So how did you know
I'd be here?
(HORN HONKING)
Make sure she gets home
safe, partner.
I figured I'd ask
Joel to come help
me out this time.
I'm not trying to take up
too much of your time.
I know you're busy.
No.
Just...
I want you to know that
I really regret and I hate how
things ended between us.
You were going through
a lot and it was hard for you.
I was... I was selfish.
No.
No, you were trying
to be there for me.
I ran away.
And I'm sorry.
You were the best thing
that happened to me in
a really, really long time.
Just, I'm just
realizing that now.
You know my mother used
to say, "You never know
what you got till it's gone."
I didn't really appreciate
those words then, you know.
How is she?
How's she doing?
She passed away.
Oh, God.
I'm so sorry.
That's okay.
She was... She was
in a lot of pain, you know?
She's in
a better place.
Yeah.
She is.
She thought
highly of you.
I'm just glad
she gave you the okay.
Yeah, me too.
How's Junior?
He's good. Junior's good.
He's dealing with this,
you know.
He's staying at Steph's
tonight. He's spending
the night there.
Good and Steph is cool?
Yeah, Steph's good.
Steph's good.
How are you doing?
I'm all right.
I'm hanging in there.
You knew somebody
else with breast cancer?
Yeah.
Your mom.
Wow!
Thank you.
You're welcome, baby.
It's a beautiful day.
How about we
go hit up the diner?
Okay. But I'll treat.
Well, I got the tip then.
Deal.
I still love you, Ali.
I still love you, too.
Change of plans.
Give me your keys.
Where are we going?
To the love section.
(ALI LAUGHS)
It's Cinco de Mayo
out there.
(WHISPERING)
Are you up?
Hey, Lisa, uh, I just wantd
to say...
The name's Angela, by the way.
I know I...
Shh.
It is quiet time, playboy.
You just don't forget
to call me, okay?
Let yourself out.
Yes, we're scheduled to close
escrow on Friday, Mr. Baker.
Great, so I'll see you on
Thursday for the walk-through.
Okay, talk to you soon. Bye.
Me-lo-dy!
Hey, Joel, what's up?
Hola, Senor.
You got my text message, huh?
I don't know how
she sleeps at night.
(IN SPANISH ACCENT)
Tell me a little bit more
about this Angela.
Wow! It was incredible, Joel.
One of the more fascinating
evenings of my young life.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Did you just
say fascinating?
Yes, sir.
Yo, man, I gotta hear
about this, man.
Tell me what happened.
Well, first we went out
for dinner and then she
invited me to her place.
And I gotta tell you,
she did some things
that I did not think
a woman could do.
Potential side chick?
Oh, yes, sir.
(WOMAN MOANING)
Sorry about that, dog.
Joel, you really need
to do something about
that porn, bro.
No, no, no.
I beg to differ, bro.
Porno is one
of the main reasons that
I'm happily married today.
(LAUGHS)
I mean, you know me, man,
I love my wife,
but you need balance.
(LAUGHS)
All right, I'll tell you.
You the man.
Listen, man,
you are never
gonna be able
to settle down
if you don't start
beating off!
(ALI LAUGHS)
Look, Joel, I gotta go.
Wait, wait, hold on.
Just hear me out, man.
I mean, you have to be in tune
with your inner self, man.
I mean, beating off
is like a art.
You know what I mean,
like Picasso, Rembrandt?
You know the dude who used
the paint the paintings
on Good Times?
Listen, it ain't just abt
pulling your skin back, .
You gotta find a zone,
a rhythm. You gotta get in
there, you gotta stay there.
You know what I'm saying,
just gotta ride,
gotta ride the rhythm.
You know what I mean?
(ALI LAUGHS)
Laugh
if you want to.
I gotta go, all right?
You're killing me.
I will see you tonight.
All right, man. Hey!
Jack it.
(SIGHS)
JOEL: Oh, boy! Oh, boy!
I see my man over there,
looking like the Unabomb.
Looking like kill someboy
at any minute. Nice shir.
Where they do that at?
Y'all look good.
Y'all look good.
Oh, boy!
Yo, where are my Mexican
brothers and sisters at?
Hola!
Hola, mami! Aye yai yai!
Yo! I got a question.
What's up with all
the loud talking?
Yo, my neighbor, Jose,
this dude, is like
my personal alarm clock.
Like every morning 6:00...
Oh, yeah?
I was just telling
Joel about that earlier.
(MIMICKING IN SPANISH)
It's ridiculous, you know?
Salud!
Salud to you, too,
mami, esta bonita!
You need agrande papi,
I'll do it.
Hey, yo, but I'm gonna me
this show on.
Coming up next is
a very good friend of mi,
very funny. He's
from Oakland, California.
My man Pee Wee!
Show some love
for my main man, Joel!
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
Joel in the house!
So, I'm Pee Wee,
show me some love!
Pee Wee in the house,
you know how it is.
Ladies, ladies,
Pee Wee's in the house!
Yo, who's married
in the house? Anybody married
or got their old lady?
I tell my old lady,
see, like,
I'm a morning sex person.
I like to do mine
in the morning!
Now, morning people,
make some noise.
That's what I'm talking about!
See, I like to do it
in the morning.
So, one morning,
I'm waking up...
Uh-oh. Joel's night-vision
is on point, bro.
PEE WEE: Get off me.
What do you mean
"get off you"?
Oh, man. That's Steph.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
Steph. Old Steph,
with the titties!
Steph, who?
She looks
pretty hot to me.
You know what it is!
Like, oh, I see how it g.
I need to see what
her friend is talking about,
so, you gotta take one
for the team.
Ahh! Ali, man.
I said,
"Well, let me ask you th.
"Do you have a dentist's
appointment this morning"
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
Ah!
Y'all know what
I'm talking about.
Show Pee Wee some love!
That's what I'm talking about!
So listen, y'all,
that's about time.
I'm Pee Wee
from the Oak Town!
Show me some love,
I'm up outta here.
Thank you, thank you
and good night!
Yo, give it up again
for my man Pee Wee!
Yo, this next comic
coming to the stage,
is a very funny man.
He's performed everywhere.
Give it up for my man
J.J. Johnson!
(APPLAUSE)
Oh, shit!
J.J.: Hey, how y'all doing?
His name is Chris. I thought
his ass was on cocaine,
'cause he keeps sniffing up
his damn nose!
Chris? You never told me
about no Chris.
'Cause it didn't
last long, girl.
What's he do?
He a lawyer.
A lawyer? A lawyer?
Girl, are you crazy?
A cheap-ass lawyer, honey.
Oh!
(APPLAUSE)
Yo, give it up again
for my man, J.J. Johnson!
Yo! So I wanna thank y'all
for coming out tonight to get
your giggle on at Giggles.
We're gonna do it
the same time next week.
Until then,
peace and love!
Ha, ha, ha!
What up? What up?
Yo!
Next week, new material.
I did new material.
Yo, Steph!
Funny seeing you here.
Oh, my God! Chris,
what a surprise!
Good to see you.
All right,
well it's been good.
Right. Okay.
Hey, Steph,
this is my friend Ali.
Ali, Stephenie. Your friend?
Hi. This is Sandrine.
Nice to meet you.
Hi, nice to meet you.
What y'all about to do?
About to get some food.
All right, it's good
to see you. All right.
Great. Good to see you.
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
We would like to
treat you two ladies
to a late night meal.
Look, last week,
it was my girlfriend.
This week, I did it
with my wife.
It's like a
different dynamics.
Right?
Chris treating? Word?
Word! Who knew?
And it happens
all the time.
Okay, all right.
Well, it was nice
to meet you.
It's been real. Okay.
Bring your ass...
Come to the diner.
New material, man.
Just make me look good.
Okay, okay, man. You know,
I'll do my fiancee next week.
All right, man.
All right.
Ahem.
I guess, uh, I'm the
third wheel, huh?
Sandrine,
this my
good friend, Joel.
Hi, nice
to meet you.
Pleasure is all mine.
So, you enjoy
the show?
I did. You are
a very funny host.
You said,
what you say? What?
You are a
very funny host.
Oh, well,
thank you
very kindly.
And you be sure
to come back
now, you hear?
Okay, cowboy.
Well, I can see y'all
all up in
the love section,
so, I'm gonna go ahead
and head home because
I love my wife.
Okay.
For sure! Make sure you do it
before Judge Mathis, man.
You know how we do!
That's funny,
The love section.
That's cute.
So are you.
Thank you.
No, see,
that's not right.
It's not a Don Juan
pick-up line.
It sounds like it.
STEPH: What is it?
You sure
you're not pimping?
STEPH: What about you? In the
comedy club recruiting?
Right.
Ah, see you guys
are funny.
No, all I'm saying
is it's a figure of speech.
STEPH: Mmm-hmm.
Like, life is good.
Seriously?
Like seriously, Chris!
Why? Why? Why?
You digging up your nose
and we trying to eat.
Correction, I'm simply
grooming my nose hairs.
"Simply grooming"
your nose hairs?
See, this is why we didn't
work in the first place.
No, we didn't work because
you're a broke ass!
Excuse me?
Broke ass, you're excused.
Let me tell your
little cheap ass something.
You know what, next time...
Time out, folks.
Folks!
Chill.
Guess what? Guess what?
Guess what?
My dog just died. I gotta go.
(SANDRINE LAUGHS)
What dog?
Her name is Chris.
You ain't got no dog!
Not no more. The bitch died!
She choked on a mother...
She choked on a frank.
Check, please.
(JOEL HUMMING)
Focus, buddy, focus.
It's okay, I'm about
to free my people
right now.
This is
the last game, bro.
Two out of three
ass-whoopings is enough.
I'm not trying to lose
your friendship
over no game, man.
Whatever! Chess gods are just
shining on you, that's all.
Hmm.
I'm about to get down here,
and talk to your pieces.
Y'all don't know each other,
but that's why
you always lose.
You know, the gods of love
shining on you
the other night, though.
What's up with
the cutie at 9:00?
Oh, Sandrine! Yeah.
I'm gonna call her tonight.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't look too thirsty,
you know what I'm saying?
Smart move!
Thank you.
Not that move.
Checkmate!
Oh! Damn, damn, damn!
So, what's the 411 on her?
Well, she's 20, in school.
And has a son.
Yeah, but he's not
in the picture.
He live in Africa?
No, he's in LA.
Then he's still
in the picture, man!
(JOEL GROANING)
Okay, what's up?
What's up?
So he's 32, huh?
He's a player in his prime.
How many kids?
No kids.
No kids?
Look, see, that ain't nothing
but selfishness.
And he's afraid to take
actual responsibility,
and I don't like it.
I don't like it.
Maybe he's just waiting
for the right woman, Steph.
Yeah, I wouldn't
bet on it.
So anyway, where does he work?
Or does he?
You are gonna overdose
on all that hate, right now.
No, seriously. Seriously.
I was just saying!
What?
He's a real estate agent.
She sounds perfect!
A perfect chick
on the side, man.
But not wifey?
Er, I mean...
Look, she has the looks
to be wifey.
You know what I'm saying?
But, I mean, she's 20,
you're 32, that's strike one.
Baby daddy is still lurking
loosely in the building, B!
That's strike two!
And lastly, she's still
in school which means
no dough.
That's strike three,
homey.
(SIGHS) Hmm.
Does he rent
or does he own?
Why?
He rents.
Give me my cup.
Give me my cup.
I'm not playing with you.
I'm serious, right there.
What?
Rent? Rent? Seriously?
What's that mean?
A real estate agent that
rents an apartment?
Do you want your drink or
do you want to know what
that means first?
I wanna know
what that means.
Super underachiever.
That's what that means.
Here.
Seriously,
that ain't right.
Thank you.
Look, I love you. I do.
But you acting like
I'm gonna marry this guy
tomorrow though.
Well, all I'm saying is
I don't want you falling
for another Jamal
on my watch.
See, 'cause I don't
have the time for it.
What are you talking about?
I met Jamal when I was 15!
Like, don't you think
I'm a better judge
of character by now?
(MIMICS) Don't you think
I'm a better
judge of character by now?
No! What I'm saying...
Look, perfect example, Troy!
Oh, boy.
Troy!
Okay, so I used to think Troy
was America's number one
deadbeat dad,
in the world.
But anyway, ever since
Jamal started coming around,
seriously, he makes Troy
look like Bill Cosby.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
No, no, no.
Jamal's trying.
Now, who's at the door?
Who you expecting?
Nobody! Who you expecting?
(SARCASTICALLY)
I don't know. I don't know.
Oh, speaking
of the devil.
Hey, Jamal.
What up? What up?
Why are y'all so quiet?
What? You been talking
about me again and stuff?
No!
(COUGHS) A little bit.
Whatever, Steph.
What's up?
Hey, how you doing? Why
you always acting so paranoid?
I am not paranoid,
just Scary Spice over here
gossip too damn much.
Anyway, um, just wanted
to give you this.
Thank you.
Yeah, so...
Junior's with my mom.
Oh, okay. Okay.
What you looking at?
Anyway, buy my little man
something nice.
And get yourself
something, too.
Thanks, Jamal.
All right.
Bye, Jamal.
(DOOR CLOSES)
I want Ali's first name,
last name, social security,
credit card number,
everything. Seriously!
I'm telling you, I've been
thinking about you
since we left the diner.
(SANDRINE LAUGHS)
You could've fooled me.
We met Sunday.
Today is what? Thursday?
Well, I figured since
you're in school and stuff...
Oh, yeah? Or is it
the three-day rule?
(LAUGHS)
No comment!
Look, Mommy,
Little Young Sheezy!
Hold on.
Mmm-hmm, it's
Little Young Sheezy, baby.
Go to bed.
Okay.
Bye.
Little Young Sheezy?
Yeah! You never heard of him?
No, I haven't.
How about
DJ Shorty Rap-a-lot?
(ALI LAUGHS)
DJ Shorty Rap-a-lot?
No.
I think I'm out the loop.
Well, what kind
of music do you like?
I like my classic hip-hop and,
of course, a little R&B.
Me, too.
Really? Okay, well,
give me your top five singers
of all time.
Top five singers, okay.
Um, Sade.
Aretha Franklin,
Mary J. Blige...
Um, Sade, Mary J. Blige,
Aretha...
Luther, Big and Little Luther.
And, um, who else?
Marvin Gaye.
Hmm, nice.
I thought I might hear Ray J
coming out of your mouth.
No, no, no.
All right, your turn.
Your top five emcees. Go!
Emcees? Whoa, you didn't
say rappers, you said emcees?
Okay, okay.
Yeah, it's a difference, and
if Heavy D is not on your
list, then I'm hanging up.
Hev D? Girl, what do you
know about Hev D?
You're like 20.
Yeah, my dad used to always
tell me I'm a old soul.
He used to?
Yeah, he passed away
two years ago.
Oh, I'm sorry.
That's okay.
Yep, just me,
myself and I.
Okay, Beyonce.
More like De La Soul.
So, I figured, um,
I'll bake a little chicken,
grill some corn,
some rice.
How does that sound?
Hello?
Sandrine? Hello?
Michael, I told you
ahead of time,
as soon as your offer to buy
the house was accepted,
you needed to get
those inspections.
Ali, all I care about
is my wife not telling me,
"I told you so"
about buying this house.
Now, I told her I got this!
That means, you got this!
All you got is me paying
a bunch of inspection fees.
I'm not paying, like, a what,
a physical fee, a roof fee,
a termite fee?
And my toilet?
My whole house?
This toilet got my whole
house smelling like diarrhea!
Didn't I tell you to get a
sewer scope inspection?
Come on, bro, I don't
remember that.
Michael, I told you
and I e-mailed you.
Ah, yeah,
but come on, Ali.
I told you, if there's
anything wrong, we can get
your purchase price lowered,
or get you credited
at closing.
(SIGHS) Ali.
Come on, man,
let me tell you something.
These inspections, man,
they cost like $250
and up!
Did you know that?
Yes, I know that.
And that's why I told you.
Otherwise, you end up
in your situation,
knee deep in shit.
You got that right!
Look, man, my wife's
coming through this door
in about
five minutes, and when this
smell hits her, she's gonna
hit me in the back
of the head.
You understand? I'm dead.
You hear me?
Look, Michael, I got someone
that's pretty good and cheap.
Let me e-mail him and
I'll hit you back.
Okay, now, cheap,
Ali, that's what
I'm looking for.
A little bit of help.
All right?
Can you handle that?
Get me a deal, bro, please.
Get me a deal.
No worries.
All right, I'll be plungering.
I'm gonna have toilet water
all in my eyes, ears and...
Oh!
Oh, damn! Can you hear me?
Not the phone!
I'm telling you, Joel,
never do business
with friends. Never.
Who are you
talking about?
Michael.
Oh, man, that's...
Except for me, because not
only am I your friend,
I'm your best friend.
Yeah, but with
your jacked up credit,
there's nothing
to worry about.
Whatever, man.
Look, apartments for life.
Shall we play chess?
All right, man.
I only got about an hour, man.
I gotta be at the club
at 7:00.
You coming through tonight?
Yeah, we'll be there
about 8:00.
You and wifey?
Wifey?
(IN JAMAICAN ACCENT)
Easy, selector, hold tight.
I'm saying, man,
y'all been going strong.
It's been like a couple
of weeks now, right?
Yeah, but Angela's
not feeling it.
She texted me
five times today.
Hmm, that's why she's
the side chick, you know.
But, what's up with Sandrine?
I mean, you catching feelings?
I wouldn't say all that.
I'm just giving her
a good look.
A good look, huh?
(LAUGHS)
(JUNIOR CRYING)
Okay, Junior, please stop
crying. Mommy's coming.
(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
Girl, where you at?
having a tantrum and
I'm trying to study.
All right, pops,
don't let that
young one get away!
Come on, she's
not that young.
Oh, what?
She was in the second grade
when we were seniors.
Whatever.
All right, man.
Get your ass locked up, man.
That girl is borderline
jailbait, yo.
You act like she's 12!
You met her kid yet?
No.
You hit it yet?
No.
You mow the lawn?
No.
Okay.
You all right?
Yeah, like I said.
I am just giving her
a good look.
Any tongue yet?
Yes! Now, can we please play?
All right. All right.
JOEL: All right, man.
You ever saw that show
To Catch a Pervert?
(BOTH LAUGHING)
JOEL: Yo, don't you hate it
when your
best friend falls in love
and then he gives you, lik,
"the best friend time out"?
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
Best friends are like
a married couple,
you know what am saying?
It's like... You be like,
"Hey, man, I'm not been
feeling good about
"our situation, so I
wanna talk.
"We haven't been playing
chess like we used to.
"Like, I call you, it takes
you a minute to call me back,
"like what's
going on, where are we
"where are we at in our
relationship?
"It's ridiculous."
I love Roscoe's.
Yeah, you know. Gotta
love the Roscoe's, right?
Yeah, well, hold it good,
so it doesn't spill out.
You know what?
Joel is gonna kill me
for missing
the show tonight.
We can go by there,
could swing by Joel's.
Yeah?
But you're gonna
miss dessert.
Dessert?
Yes.
Joel will be all right.
Let's make moves.
You're funny.
Want me to hold it?
Yeah.
I have a way with a woman
And when we
converse sometimes
I can feel her smiling
She swears
I can read her mind
I have a way with a woman
She says I can do no wrog
She calls me her darling
She swears
I am the words to her sog
She says ooh I love him
She says ooh I need him
She says ooh I want him
She says I have
a way with her
Aw, is this your mom?
Yeah.
You guys close?
Yeah, we're pretty close.
And when she
lies with me...
Always tells me,
"I am going to disown you
"unless you give me
some grandkids."
I understand that.
Do you want kids?
Yeah.
I mean, with the right woman
at the right time, of course.
Um, I'm cooking
dinner tonight.
If you're not too busy,
you should come by.
Hmm, sounds good.
I guess I passed the test?
Sure did.
You know I can't just
be having random men
around my son.
I hear you, sweetie.
I will be there starving.
Good.
(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
You need to get that?
I have all I need right here.
Really?
Mmm-hmm.
Just you and I.
In the love section?
All day.
(VIDEO GAME GUNFIRE)
Hey, Junior.
Hey, Mom, do
you want to play?
You know I do, but first,
I want you to meet
my friend Ali.
Hey, there. How you
doing, Junior?
Put that down.
I am fine.
Yeah?
You like sports?
What you looking at me for?
You like football, right?
You can answer him.
What's your favorite
football team?
Me and my dad like
the Steelers.
I'm sorry.
Give that to him.
Oh, that's sweet, thank you.
That's really sweet.
I'll be right back.
All right. First impressions
are priceless.
SANDRINE: Mmm-hmm.
Come on.
Okay, Junior, what do you
wanna say to Ali?
Thank you.
Oh, you're welcome.
Hey, can we play
the game sometime?
Okay.
Cool.
Now, it's time
for bed, okay?
You can play football
tomorrow.
Mommy loves you.
Get some rest.
Okay.
Say goodnight to Ali.
Goodnight, Ali.
Goodnight.
Did you just
bribe my baby?
I plead the Fifth.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
That's my mom. Come on.
I made her a plate.
You ready to meet my mom?
Hey, Momma.
Hey, doll face.
Oh!
Well, hello.
Hi.
Mom, this is Ali.
Ali, this is my mom.
You can call her
Ms. Darden.
Oh, wow. Nice to meet you,
Ms. Darden.
Ali, I've heard wonderful
things about you.
Sandrine wasn't lying,
you two can pass for sisters.
Thank you,
but I'm the mama.
JUNIOR: Grandma!
Hi, Nana's baby.
See?
What you got?
Look, Nana,
I've been playing football.
And you know Nana wants
you to be a football player.
Where'd you get that?
From Ali.
Well, thank you, Ali.
Well, now I know this your
night-night time.
Did you just get up so you
can give Nana a hug
and some sugar?
Mmm-hmm.
Yes, well come on
and give it to me.
Night-night, okay?
Okay.
All right.
SANDRINE: Good night.
So, do I have a plate?
Yes, I'll go get it.
I hear that you are
in real estate.
Yeah, about 10 years now.
Wow, that's a long time.
Yeah, it's a little crazy
sometimes but...
It gets crazy.
But the important thing is
you love it.
Mmm-hmm.
You know my mom
says the same thing.
"Never settle for less."
I like her.
Okay, you guys talked.
Got acquainted.
Well, it's all wrapped
and ready to go.
Yup.
Should've just
FedEx-ed this to me.
Just making me feel like
you're kicking me out.
Okay. Okay.
Okay, that's all right.
I get it. I'm leaving.
Call you in the morning?
Yes.
Love you.
I love you.
Love you, too.
Don't be a stranger.
Don't be strange.
Ma!
Call the police.
Ma!
Good night.
Good night, Mom.
Call me when
you're home.
Okay.
All right.
That's my mom.
It's all good.
Your mom
is pretty cool.
Yeah?
She liked you.
Really?
Yep.
How could you tell?
Because she said
don't be a stranger.
That's our code.
Ah!
I am gonna
check on Junior.
Okay.
And slip into something more
comfortable.
Ooh.
You know what that's
code for, right?
Mmm-hmm.
Okay.
I'll be right back.
(SOFT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
Where is my mommy?
I am right here, baby,
you okay?
Come on, Mommy, bed time.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
Okay, go back in your room.
Mommy's coming.
I'm just gonna say
goodbye to Ali.
Okay. Sorry.
He can't sleep sometimes.
It's okay. No worries.
You sure?
Little Ali gonna
be all right?
Yeah, he'll be
all right.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Yeah, all right.
JUNIOR: Mommy.
I got to go. I'm sorry.
I'm coming, baby.
(RINGING)
Hey. Yeah,
I'm on my way.
(SENSUAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
Wow, Junior, you're
pretty smart.
How old are you?
I'm five.
Oh.
Hey.
(SNORING LOUDLY)
Oh! Yeah!
Yeah! Work it!
I'm just trying to make it.
Get it out!
Just kicking it.
You can't throw.
Look at it.
It's part of your facial, man,
'cause I come up
on you like this.
That's when you know you're...
I'm here to do something,
you know what I'm saying?
How you do it?
You don't wanna
see these, man.
You don't wanna see...
Look at that! Boom!
Ugh.
Oh, what you mad, man?
Game, bro.
Good game.
You still a bum, though.
A bum? Man, you shooting
jump shots all day!
That's pretty soft, bro.
Whatever.
I'm just saying, yo.
But don't even trip, man.
My game tanked, too
when I first
met my wife.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
I'm just saying, man.
You're going through
a little transitional phase.
But you'll be back.
You'll be back.
Hey, words of wisdom, man.
That's what I do.
What you getting
into tonight?
We're just chilling.
Little DVD.
Yeah.
I'm making it a
DVD night, too.
Yeah?
Mmm-hmm. I just got
this new Melody Juggs DVD.
Man, I can't wait.
Here you go.
Let me tell you something, yo.
You know, I love my wife.
But if I met her?
It might have to go down.
It might go down?
Ali, it might
go down.
Whoa!
I am trying to figure out
right now in my head.
Look, you gotta come.
It's gonna be popping.
It's not just any event.
It's like the whole weekend.
I can't do both days.
That's all I'm saying.
Okay, well then
come tonight.
I can't do tonight.
Saturday.
What is it?
Family night?
We're just gonna
watch movies.
All right, all right.
I guess we could do Saturday.
Okay, Saturday.
You promise?
I promise.
Pinky swear?
I pinky swear.
Okay.
Let's go back.
I'm back.
What'd you get Ali?
Your favorite.
Yay! Mommy, can
I have some popcorn?
Sure.
Oh, here you go.
Here you go. It's a spare,
you can have it.
Ali, are you gonna
give Mommy your key?
Junior.
You gave her your key?
Yes.
This is major
progress, Ali.
I mean you are entering
unchartered waters.
I know, bro.
Oh, man.
Honey, so...
Heard you got the new keys
to Cribbington.
That means 24-hour access.
Yeah, but I'm
gonna call first.
No surprises?
There's nothing like
the greatest surprises.
See you are
supposed to be, look...
Go in there,
with some heels
and a jacket. Wham!
Trench coat.
Trench coat. Right there.
It's just that moment,
you know...
Like from the movie.
With nothing under. Just heels
and a trench and you good.
What about the pop-up?
She'll call first.
You sure?
Yeah.
What's up with the side chick?
She's still blowing you up?
Well, I actually saw Angela
the other night,
and I am about to
fade that out.
So, Miss Pretty Young
Thing must be looking
pretty good, huh?
Yes, she is.
Hmm, my man. My man.
(YAWNS)
Yeah.
I am in for the night.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'll see you in a bit.
All right, babe.
Hey, I baked some cookies.
Come on in and have a seat.
I got this young thig
young thing
I got this young thig
young thing...
Sandy, where are you at?
You are not trapped in a
closet are you?
Where are you going, Ali?
Why don't you have a seat?
Want a cookie?
Uh, no.
We made them special for you.
Chocolate chip.
Not hungry.
All right, well...
What are you doing here, Ali?
Uh, here to see Sandy.
Oh. No. I didn't know
she was... I didn't know that.
No, I thought she was 20.
Oh.
You know, if you don't want
to be here, you can leave.
You can, I mean...
Have a good day.
Go on.
I said down on the floor!
I am on the floor!
Got a smart ass here.
Help!
You're under arrest, perv!
You think this is a game?
Hip-hop, my ass, you
damn pervert. Get your
punk ass over there.
Hey!
I'm not a perv.
I'm not a perv.
She said she was 20.
What?
How old are you?
How old are you?
I'm 20. What?
Lay down.
What happened?
Oh, God.
Honey, we have your special
birthday gift 'cause you are
very, very special.
So, can we say
happy birthday
to my baby.
That's, right.
Happy birthday.
ALL: Happy birthday!
You know,
like Jay-Z said,
And Jigga knows best.
Right, if 30 is the new 20,
then that would
make you what Sandrine?
A preteen? (LAUGHS)
Ooh, honey.
Stop it. Stop it.
I'm sorry.
And that would make
your friend here, who?
R. Kelly?
BOTH: Ohh!
It was just a dream.
I'm just playing.
(GUNFIRE ON VIDEO GAME)
I got you now.
Oh, no you don't.
Boom!
Aw!
You going down, buddy.
Oh, yeah? Take that!
Oh!
Oh, and also this.
Pretty good there. Okay.
Watch.
Watch this move.
Missed me.
You're sneaky!
I won, Ali!
You the man.
You the man.
You the man.
You won. Okay.
What does the winner get?
The giraffe.
What does the loser get?
Twenty slaps in the face.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Hey, Jamal.
Hi, what's going on?
Daddy's here!
You really should call first.
I am disturbing you
or something?
Daddy!
Hey, man.
Oh, boy.
How's my little guy?
I'm fine, Daddy.
Me and Ali
were just playing Tekken.
You and Ali?
Jamal, this is
my boyfriend, Ali.
I see you got the
whole family thing
jumping off.
What's up, man?
(WHISPERS)
That little boy right there?
That's my son.
Just don't
get it twisted.
Daddy, do you wanna
play Tekken?
Nah, I can't right now,
little man.
I promise, I'm gonna come by
next weekend and see you.
Okay, Daddy.
Come here.
Your boyfriend so much
as breathe hard on Junior...
Goodbye, Jamal.
Hey, Jamal.
Can we chop
it up for a minute?
I got a second. What's up?
Okay. Me and Junior are going
to be in the back cleaning up
those toys, aren't we?
JUNIOR: Yep.
Look, um...
I respect you
as Junior's dad.
And putting myself
in your shoes,
I would never
interfere with that.
And that's man-to-man.
Look. I appreciate you
trying to holler at me.
But, that little man
in there is all I got.
We could just leave it
at that, man.
(DOOR CLOSES)
(JUNIOR SNORING LOUDLY)
Probably not till late.
Trying to figure
some things out here.
What's up?
Not real estate.
I was seeing that on the news,
man. They say the market's
at an all-time low.
Yeah. It's, uh,
raining foreclosures.
Yeah, but it'll come right
back up, right?
They say it go in cycles.
Yeah, but the queen prick
is on my ass at work.
(FAST-FORWARDED DIALOGUE)
She needs
to just get laid.
Yeah, but not by me.
Honestly, though,
I need to start
my own agency.
What's stopping you
from doing it, man?
Make it happen.
You know James Johnson
of the H.F. Group?
He's this big time real
estate mogul.
Nah, I don't know him.
Well, I'm sure you notice
all the renovation going
on downtown, right?
Yeah, traffic is a bitch,
all day.
Mmm-hmm.
Well, that's their contracts.
I have a meeting with
James Johnson, the CEO,
next week.
I mean, do you know what
that means if I get
this contract?
You'll pay me back
that $30 you owe me?
Yes, plus interest.
Well, that sound like
a power move, man.
Why don't you come on down
to Giggles and, you know,
we'll drink to it.
(CELL PHONE BEEPS)
Hold on a second.
All right.
Hey, sweetie.
Hold on. Hold on.
that's Sandrine.
I'm gonna hit you back.
All right, man. I'm going to
finish what I'm doing,
get dressed
and head down to Giggles, man.
I'll just holler
at you tomorrow.
Okay, cool.
Have a good show.
All right, bro.
Hey, what's up, sweetie?
I'm good. How are you?
Yeah. Yeah. I'm cool.
Okay.
You've been somewhat
distant lately.
Yeah. I'm sorry. I...
I couldn't sleep
the other night.
Sorry.
Anything you want
to talk about?
No. Just...
Dealing with work.
Okay.
Well, maybe I can cheer
you up. What are you doing
tomorrow night?
Tomorrow...
I'm going to this real
estate marketing seminar,
down by LAX.
All right. So, if you are
not too tired after that,
maybe I can swing by.
Well, let me see.
We might go get drinks
afterwards,
but I'll give you
a call, okay?
Okay.
All right.
I'll talk to you later.
Okay. Bye.
There is a God, bro.
Whoa, whoa.
You got the number?
Did I? Melody just came
to my show to see me.
And you are asking me,
"Did I get the number?"
Okay. Let me rephrase that.
Are you going to call her?
Call her?
I'm heading over there
to see her tonight, man.
What?
You know how I do.
How long is a
seminar thing, anyway?
It's about to be 12:00, Sandy.
He said they might go
out for drinks after.
Call again.
Okay.
Look at you.
Couldn't wait.
Still going to voicemail.
Look. I say go over there
in your birthday suit
and get it popping.
I thought of that. I would.
But his phone is off.
Honey, if he is as stressed as
you are making it seem like
what you doing all right now.
If I was you, I'd go over
there buck naked
and I bet you that'll put
a smile on his face.
You're right.
I know.
Besides, what's better
than drunk sex?
All right, then. So, on that
point. Go, call him.
Thank you.
SANDRINE:
Okay, I'll call you tomorrow.
I know, okay.
Oh, shit!
(TENSE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
Hey, baby, what's going on?
Where's the whipped cream?
(WHISPERING)
What are you doing?
Go! Go get dressed.
My girlfriend's here.
(WHISPERING)
Girlfriend?
Oh! Hell no!
Bring her in.
Go. Bring her in.
Go get dressed.
Bring her in!
(MOUTHING)
I'm not getting dressed.
I want to meet this bitch.
Now? What are you doing?
Open the damn door!
Maybe not.
Ali!
(BANGING ON DOOR)
Ali!
Girl, he's not even
coming to the door.
This is silly.
It was a bad idea.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Oh!
Look who's home. Wow.
Remember, I told you the door
was broken last week.
Sounds like
such a coincidence.
I know, but...
But, what?
I've been calling you
for the last three hours.
Your phone is going
straight to voicemail.
My battery died. I called you
as soon as I got home.
And then what about
the time when you left
my apartment early.
Now I'm wondering,
where'd you go?
I went home.
Wow.
Wow. You know I came here
thinking we were going
to get somewhere tonight.
I should have
stayed home.
Wait.
What?
What do you
want me to do?
You want me to what,
make something up?
No. You are doing a
really good job of that,
right now.
Thought I was the young one
in the relationship.
What are you doing?
The door's broke,
remember?
I don't need those.
Sandrine!
I miss you when
you with me, girl.
Things are going
really good at work.
Yeah. We're getting along now.
Thank goodness.
That's good.
I'm gonna finish cooking
this food for you.
You are the best husband.
What did you say?
I said you are the best.
Say it again.
You are the best husband.
Oh, honey. You know what?
I told the girls that we
were going shopping
and I am late. Let's see
what time it is.
Yeah. Actually, we're supposed
to be there right now.
I'll be back in a
couple of hours, okay?
Hurry up and come on back.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Oh, you want me
to get that?
Oh, no. I got it.
It ain't nobody but Ali.
Hey, yo! Come on in, boss.
(DOOR OPENS)
What's up, champ?
I'm good. I'm good.
Have a seat, man.
What's up with those burners?
Man, about to get my
Chef Boyardee on.
Hey, Ali.
Hey, Jackie.
How are you?
I'm good.
How's Sandrine?
She's okay.
Good.
Okay, honey. I'll be back
in a couple of hours.
Okay.
Be good.
Hurry back. I love you.
I love you, too.
Don't sell that kind of
chocolate no more, boy.
Hey, I got
something for you.
What's up?
This.
It's the ass porn.
Ebony porn.
Miscellaneous.
Now,
I know you don't do porn.
I know this.
But do whatever
you want to with this, man.
I don't care. eBay,
Craigslist, man.
You can get a lot of money
for this shit on the streets.
Just get it out of here, man.
Like, I'm done.
Wait. Wait.
What happened?
Man.
Let's just say, I had a
wake-up call last night.
I mean, it's about to be
a new year.
No more porno
for me, man.
Whoa. So...
Melody...
Nothing happened?
So she invited me
to the set,
man, where she was filming.
Long story short, man,
things got hot and heavy.
I'm kind of confused, right.
I don't understand.
What do you want me to do
in this scene?
Bitch, I need
you to emote.
Emote.
Emote.
Emote. Yeah.
Can you do that?
Miss Juggs, I have a
Joel Long here to see you.
Yes.
What's up, man?
Follow me, babe.
Okay.
All right, dog.
What's up, man?
Thanks, man. Good work.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Good work on you.
What is that? You using
the penis pump?
No.
Oh.
Sorry, love, I had to
change real quick.
(SENSUAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
You know, I was,
ahem,
real surprised to see you
at my show yesterday.
Yeah, my girlfriend went
a few weeks ago.
She said that the show
was really great and
the host was really cute.
(STAMMERING) I was just...
Yo, I was hosting.
Well, you tell
your girlfriend, that,
you know, drinks are
on me next week.
Well,
looks like I know my lines.
I bet, it's, um,
real hard
for you to, um...
(STAMMERING)
...to memorize
all them lines, huh?
Well, it is.
But, I studied Shakespeare.
Damn, Melody.
They even bigger than
they is on the video!
Oh, you've seen my movie?
Oh? What?
I mean, come on,
I don't, you know...
You know, like
maybe once or twice.
That's it? Yeah.
Seven, 18.
(MUFFLED TALKING)
MELODY: Oh, baby.
JOEL: Huh?
Baby?
Baby?
You all right?
JOEL: Huh?
You act like
you've seen a ghost.
No, no, no, no.
It's just that I keep...
Damn.
I couldn't do it, man.
All I kept thinking about
was Jackie, man.
I kept these images
popping in my head like,
it was her like playing
the harp, man.
It was crazy!
So...
Yeah.
So, nothing?
No. But, it ain't
what you think though.
'Cause...
You ever tried Viagra?
No. No. I'm fine. I'm good.
You know what I'm saying.
I just, um...
I got to be honest. I keep...
Keep thinking, uh,
about my wife.
Right. Yeah.
No. I mean, it has nothing
to do with you. You...
I know. It's cool.
You've never been with
a celebrity before.
It's cool.
Yeah. Okay.
That's...
That's all right.
You know what, I gotta...
I gotta go.
So?
Y'all didn't...
Nothing?
Well, I did have
them jugs in my face.
I did do that.
But that's it, man.
Yo, and I felt so relieved
when I left.
And I know I say this
all the time, man,
but I love my wife.
Wow.
Well, I might need a couple
of these pornos, bro.
What?
Yeah, Sandrine broke up
with me last night.
Which...
What happened?
She came by
when I had this chick,
Becky, over.
Becky?
Yeah, you don't know her.
I met her at the 7-Eleven.
So what? What,
you got caught?
Not technically.
I wouldn't let her in.
Like I kept the top bolt
locked and...
You kept the top bolt locked?
What are you...
(SIGHS)
She did a pop-up.
I told you
about the pop-up, man!
(SIGHS)
I know.
So, what happened next?
(SIGHS)
Well, after I got Becky
out of there
I called her,
she came over and...
I tried to talk to her,
but she wasn't having it.
Of course not, man.
She's young, not dumb.
You know what,
though, man, I've been
thinking...
(SIGHS)
I'm just tired
of playing house.
The baby daddy...
Ms. Prick stressing me
out at work. I mean...
Yo, I just need
a break, man.
I'm sorry, man.
I mean, you good?
You all right?
Yeah, yeah. I'm...
I'm cool, man.
Look... Let's...
Get some burgers
over there...
Come on, man.
Yeah.
ALI: There's no place
like home.
There's no place
like home.
There's no place
like home.
(SIGHS)
It worked for Dorothy.
Did you say something, baby?
Go back to sleep.
Will I find love again?
Or will I convince mysf
I'm still in love with yu
Don't say it's not forever
'Cause it will never ed
Don't say it's not forevr
Our love will never end
Don't say it's not forevr
'Cause it will never end
Don't say it's not forever
(ALARM CLOCK BUZZING)
(FAST-PACED
INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
Mr. Reese is here.
I'm... I'm so sorry
I'm late.
The 405, sir.
Traffic and...
Shh.
No reason to apologize to me,
Mr. Reese.
You had 30 minutes
of my time.
Then you made
the conscious decision
to waste 24 of those.
So, now you got
six minutes left.
Six minutes?
Yeah, six minutes.
Six minutes, like...
Six minutes, Doug E. Fresh,
you're on?
Ah, ah, on.
What?
On.
Mr. Reese.
(RATTLING)
Hey. Are you okay?
Uh... I've
seen better days, sir.
Let me give you some
valuable advice.
You know, something that
you can take with you.
Whenever you're meeting
with a potential client...
(ROARS)
...you don't tell them that
you've seen better days.
You now have
five minutes left.
Yes, sir.
(SIGHS)
Please, God,
get me through this.
Oh...
(CHUCKLES)
Okay, okay, okay.
out of the last four and
a half minutes that you
actually have here.
Your proposal points out how
African-American...
(ROARS)
...capitalizing on this
mortgage crisis that we're in.
With 80% being
African-American females.
My beautiful
black woman.
What are you saying?
That you would target
that market more exclusively.
Sandrine.
Come again?
The snoring,
pop-ups,
Junior.
Why did I
even mess with that?
Whoa, whoa, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Mr. Reese, what the fuck
are you talking about?
Are you here with me?
Come on, what are you saying?
Spit it out.
I just miss her
so much. I...
Right. Okay,
we're done here.
Thank you very much.
I don't have
time for this.
Whoa!
Wait. No, Mr. Johnson, uh...
Mr. Johnson, you
gotta believe...
I love her.
Oh, really?
Well, you wanna know
what I believe?
I really believe that you can
find your own way out
to the goddamn exit.
Have a good day, sir.
Wait. No...
I mean...
Mr. Johnson, I'm...
I'm serious.
It's so sincere.
Sleeping pills and Henny?
(LAUGHS)
I thought it was a glass
of water.
No wonder your ass
was bugging out, man.
Thanks a lot, bro.
Hey, that's what
I'm here for.
Now get up, bro.
Life goes on.
Life sucks.
Well, I'm sorry
it took you
first broken heart, man.
But, you ain't no different
than the rest of us, man.
We've all
had that feeling.
How did you handle it?
Cried like a baby
and beat off.
Beating off is your answer
to everything.
Yeah. That's what I've been
trying to tell you.
It's the key to life, man.
You need to start trying it.
(SIGHS)
I want her back.
You not gonna start crying
on me, is you?
Well, I miss her though.
Even little things, huh?
Yeah, I've been there, man.
Well, how do I
get her back?
Man, if you really wanna
get her back, man,
I'll help you.
But I mean, you gonna have to
shoot straight with her, man.
No more games.
No games?
What are you,
on her side now?
No, man. I'm just trying
to keep it real with you.
Oh, okay.
So, now that you're
porno-free,
you getting all
holier-than-thou on me.
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, man.
I'm here trying
to help you, man.
That was a pivotal moment
in my life!
My bad. You're right.
You're right.
I'm just saying, man.
She's a good girl.
And they don't come around
that often.
(CLUB MUSIC PLAYING)
What's wrong?
Ali?
Come on, Sandy.
Look, you got Junior,
you got school.
You got way too much
to deal with.
You got your mom.
And like honestly, for him
to be the older one,
he's not showing it.
At all.
And it's unfair.
I know.
I just trusted him and I...
Yeah, I get that.
I get that. We all trusted
someone at one time but
at the end of the day
he's lost. Oh, well.
Move on.
You don't have time
for his games.
Oh, we are late.
Look, what we gonna do...
We going to drink up,
and have a good time.
By a round of applause,
how many beaters we got
in the building?
Take it from me.
If you want a happy home,
become one with your
right hand.
You don't need help.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
You don't need Oprah,
you don't need Dr. Phil,
you don't need a therapi.
Just get your beat on.
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
I'm drawing a flower.
You know they
say you always know.
You knew daddy
was the one?
When we first met.
(CHUCKLES)
It was that easy, Mom?
No, it's never that easy.
That's what I thought.
(MIMICS) When we first met.
Yeah, well. Hey, hey...
But you know, your father,
God bless his soul,
when we first
started dating,
he got on my last nerve.
Oh...
He did?
Oh...
But he had potential.
You know? We just had
to kind of like
smooth out some
of those rough edges.
You smoothed them out.
(LAUGHS)
Indeed I did. Indeed I did.
Yes. Yes.
But he was a good man.
Ali's been calling me
and texting.
I just haven't...
I don't know...
You not ready
to talk to him?
Not yet.
Well,
in your time.
But just remember,
sometimes you don't know
what you have,
until it's gone.
Special delivery.
What are you doing here?
Well, I was paid top dollar
to personally see to it that
you receive these,
courtesy of my best friend.
Thank you.
He misses you, Sandrine.
Specially like your snoring,
your cold feet,
your eye boogers,
the way you snort.
(LAUGHS)
No, I'm just...
Really, though.
You take care,
all right?
Thanks. You, too.
ALI: Hey, Sandrine.
I want you to know that
I miss you so much.
These last few weeks have been
like no other.
I wish I could rewind the time
just to save you from
the hurt I caused you.
And it's
killing me, sweetie.
It's killing me knowing tht
I caused you the pain that
I want to ask you something
that I don't deserve.
A second chance.
Love you always.
Ali.
I just want to feel that I can
trust you, Ali.
I understand.
Completely.
You know what
my mom said?
What?
She said that
we remind her of them.
Really?
Her and your dad?
Yeah.
Wow.
That's deep.
I know.
Makes me feel real good.
I mean...
I'm just so glad
you're here.
Me too.
I missed you.
ALI: After that horrible
meeting with James Johnson,
I'm just not sure this is
the career I can retire from.
Why not?
I mean, the market is so
unstable right now.
Unless you're the boss,
you got no control.
So, there is no reward without
the risk? Got it.
But I thought settling
wasn't in your vocabulary?
You have such
a good memory.
Look, I don't know much about
real estate.
Okay. I just know that
there's plenty of it.
Buying, selling, building.
That's never gonna stop,
you'll be good.
Yes, you're right.
And that's why I wanna start
my own agency.
I know I would succeed.
Dope. What's stopping you?
Money, advertising,
marketing.
With that alone
you're talking
a couple of
thousand dollars.
To be on commercials?
No, no.
That's too expensive.
You know
those real estate ads
you see... The people
on the shopping carts.
Yeah, in the grocery store.
Well, that's what I'd
be paying for.
That exposure
would pretty much
expose me
to a wide range of
buyers and sellers.
I mean...
I wanna help you.
Yeah?
Yeah.
How?
Financially.
I can co-sign
a loan for you.
Are you serious?
(LAUGHS)
Yes.
Baby, I believe in you.
There's no guarantees
with this, Sandrine.
I know that.
Did you mean what you wrote
in that letter?
Yes.
Of course I did.
Can you guarantee it?
Wow.
You...
You're incredible.
Yes.
Thank you, baby.
You know, plus me and Junior,
we like traveling,
fine dining and all
of the above, okay?
We are gonna need to make sure
that you can provide
these things.
I won't let you down.
I love you.
I love you more.
You're not gonna be looking
all corny and stuff?
You're not going to be like...
(LAUGHS)
You know, making
those funny faces and stuff.
Oh, you got jokes.
I don't do corny.
No, you don't.
I know you don't.
This is going to be good.
A loan for 5 grand?
Yeah. Yes, sir.
I got a photo shoot in
a couple of days.
So what? Like,
your picture gonna be
on shopping carts and stuff?
Yeah, LA Times.
Bus benches.
Please, bro.
No cornball poses, man.
Don't embarrass us.
You sound like Sandrine now.
Listen, don't be surprised
if Ebony or Upscale come
calling me.
Well, if they do,
you be sure to remember
that lady of yours, man.
You got you a winner, Ali.
Trust me.
I'm well aware of that.
So much so,
I'm about to step it up.
Talk to me.
I might need a best man.
Are you available?
What?
Yeah,
her birthday is next month.
Gonna pop the question.
Oh!
That's what
I'm talking about, man.
You about to be sounding
like me, huh?
What?
You know.
BOTH: I love my wife.
Man, I'm proud of you, man.
(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
Thank you, bro.
Uh, that's her now.
Time to check in?
Welcome to the club, bro.
(LAUGHS)
She went in for
a physical exam
the doctor felt a lump
in her breast
and now she's gotta get
a biopsy.
What?
I don't...
I don't know what I'll do
if my mother has cancer.
Don't think that way.
I can't help
but think that way.
I will go crazy if something
happens to my mother.
I understand but...
How can you understand?
Your mother's fine.
And your mom's going
to be fine, too.
I don't know.
(SIGHS)
Come here.
(SIGHS)
Dear Heavenly Father,
we humbly ask you to shine
a ray
of blessings
on a very special lady.
One who not only
is a great mother,
but one who lives
a righteous path
that you laid.
In Jesus Christ we pray.
Amen.
Amen.
Thanks.
I'm here for you.
I know.
Sorry for snapping on you.
It's okay, I understand.
Good.
Because until my mother gets
a clean bill of health
I'm not going to be
much fun to be around.
I understand.
All right.
I'm gonna go.
No. I don't want
you to leave tonight.
Okay.
Okay.
What's on TV?
Oh, good.
There you go.
You're in the middle
of a threesome.
That's it. Right there.
Yeah, man.
Just imagine she's
rubbing on
your head.
One rubbing your back.
That's how you do it.
Right motivation, man.
Nice.
You getting this, dude?
Huh?
You getting this, man?
Yeah.
All right,
then get it then, man.
This is all we got.
(CAMERA CLICKING)
Well, help me
out then, bro.
Since you the man.
Right now?
Yes, please.
Gotta fix your thing tight.
Look at me, like...
(CAMERA CLICKING)
Thank you.
It's gonna turn out, man.
I'm just playing with you.
Yo. I wanna be there when
you pick out your photo.
So what?
You have no faith in me?
You will thank me
in the long run.
Trust me, bro.
You got jokes.
I hope so, man.
I'm a comedian.
Oh, man.
Time to reload, man.
Some more
of that.
Yeah, to the game then.
All right, cool, man.
But, you should
be setting up, 'cause I won
last time.
Yeah, I don't remember
that, but okay.
"I love you."
Is this from Juliet, Romeo?
Yeah, she left that on
the table this morning.
How's her mom doing?
She's going in for
her biopsy results today.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Hey.
Hey.
You thirsty?
No, thanks.
What's wrong?
They admitted my mom.
She has
metastatic breast cancer.
Mata... What is that?
A malignant tumor.
Started in her breasts. Now,
it's taking over her kidney.
I don't know.
She, she has to undergo
a surgery immediately.
She didn't even have
any symptoms.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Just like that?
It just came
out of nowhere?
A year ago, she was
complaining about
pain in her breasts.
The doctor diagnosed
it as stress related.
Stress related?
He gave her a prescription.
She said she felt better.
We thought everything
would be okay.
This is just happening
so damn fast.
Listen, whatever you need
from me, I'm there for you,
okay? Whatever.
Okay?
I know.
Just wanted to tell you.
I gotta go get Junior from
Steph's. I'm late.
Hey.
I wanna go with you to
the hospital tomorrow,
all right?
Okay.
I love you.
Bye.
(JUNIOR GROWLING)
(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
Hey, sweetie,
calling you again.
Just checking on you
and your mom.
Never heard back
from you today
so I'll just swing by tomorrow
on my way home.
I stay up late
Waiting on you
Can't go to sleep
And I'm not sure what to do
I check my phone
Time and time again
Are you with your friend?
No.
Here you come walking in
Smile when you
walk through the door
Look in my face anymore
(INDISTINCT TALKING)
SANDRINE: Hey, it's your
lucky day. Leave a message.
Hey, babe.
Just leaving you a message.
Give me a ring back,
all right?
Talk to you later, bye.
All right, Junior's in there
counting sheeps.
Thanks.
Who was that? Ali?
Yup.
Sandy, you really
need to talk to him.
I know.
Seriously.
I know.
When?
When... I will.
So have you heard
from her?
I haven't heard
anything from her.
She probably needs some
time alone. That's all, man.
I can understand that but,
let me know something.
She's just stressed
out, man. It'll pass.
Let's do this.
Hey. Hey, Sandrine.
Hey.
You think you could swing by
here tomorrow around 3:00?
Yeah, okay.
Okay.
Bye.
Well, the surgery was
a success.
Now she just has to undergo
an intensive chemotherapy.
So the outlook
is positive, right?
If she...
If she responds well
to the chemo
and goes into remission, yes.
If not, they're giving her
six months.
Six months?
She's gonna respond.
I know she will.
I pray she does.
I've been so worried
about you.
I know.
I'm sorry, I've been meaning
to return your calls.
I just got a lot
on my mind.
I've been thinking
about us.
Us? Okay.
I'm not sure what
to do right now.
What to do?
What are you talking about?
About us.
About my family.
I'm here for you
and your family.
It's not one or the other.
This isn't easy for me, Ali.
Okay?
I just don't think I can give
us all of me right now.
Listen.
You just can't turn things
off and on when something
bad happens in your life.
You really don't understand.
I understand, if something
tragic happens to me and
my family,
I expect my lady to be
there for me, just like
I'd be there for her.
Yeah but, it hasn't
happened to you, babe!
It happened to me and
my family.
Okay? I'm dealing with this
the only way I know how.
By ignoring me?
Not answering
my phone calls?
I mean, now you hit me with
the, "We need to talk"?
Okay.
I just need to be alone.
Alone?
You're breaking up
with me?
I'm sorry, Ali.
I'm sorry.
Things have changed and I'm...
What has changed
from the note you left
at my apartment?
I mean, what?
A lot.
I do love you and
I meant what I wrote.
It's just that right now...
It just doesn't make
any sense, Sandrine.
I'm trying to be here.
I'm trying to be here
for you and your family.
Ali.
I lost my dad two years ago.
And right now,
my mother is struggling,
fighting for her life.
I have that to deal with.
You know, there's that
and school and my son.
I don't have anything
for you right now.
I'm sorry.
Baby, I'm so sorry.
Okay.
Where are you going?
Good bye, Sandrine.
You're leaving?
I'll never leave you.
(SOBBING)
(UPBEAT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
I've gotta tell you,
Mr. Reese,
when my secretary presented
your sales report,
I couldn't believe
the numbers.
Well, I wasn't in
my right state of mind
the first time we first met.
Shit, you're damn right
about that.
You know you were about
six minutes
from getting your ass bounced
out of there by security.
Well, I'm glad you didn't.
That would not have been
a good look.
Well, take a look. As you
can see, we're almost done
with Community Gardens.
And in about six months
we gonna need to get it sold.
Absolutely.
We have 300 units
available.
And I'm your man
for the job.
Really?
Yes, absolutely.
All right, well,
we'll see what
we can work out.
Thank you for
the second chance,
Mr. Johnson.
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
And I'd like to
make it exclusive.
You know,
I like the way think.
I'll have my secretary
be in touch.
Thank you.
Hello?
You the waterfall man, huh?
See the fishes,
you got the alligator.
I'm just waiting for
a wild monkey to jump
out of the bushes, man.
On the for real, though, man,
like, I'm proud of you, man.
Like this is beautiful.
Thanks, Joel.
Long time coming, right?
Yes, sir.
I'll tell you though, I can
still see myself
whooping that ass
in chess right here, too.
Yo, it wouldn't matter
if you was lounging in
the White House, man.
Wouldn't nothing change.
Checkmate.
That's how I do, all right?
No matter where you is or
where you at, I bust your ass.
OPERATOR: We're sorry,
the number you have reached
is not in service.
Please check the number
or try your call again.
This is a recording.
Just remember,
sometimes you don't know
what you have until it's gone.
Well, stay in touch.
SANDRINE: Ali.
(LAUGHS)
Hi.
Wow!
Sandrine.
You look nice.
Thank you.
You look beautiful.
This is cool.
Thank you.
So how did you know
I'd be here?
(HORN HONKING)
Make sure she gets home
safe, partner.
I figured I'd ask
Joel to come help
me out this time.
I'm not trying to take up
too much of your time.
I know you're busy.
No.
Just...
I want you to know that
I really regret and I hate how
things ended between us.
You were going through
a lot and it was hard for you.
I was... I was selfish.
No.
No, you were trying
to be there for me.
I ran away.
And I'm sorry.
You were the best thing
that happened to me in
a really, really long time.
Just, I'm just
realizing that now.
You know my mother used
to say, "You never know
what you got till it's gone."
I didn't really appreciate
those words then, you know.
How is she?
How's she doing?
She passed away.
Oh, God.
I'm so sorry.
That's okay.
She was... She was
in a lot of pain, you know?
She's in
a better place.
Yeah.
She is.
She thought
highly of you.
I'm just glad
she gave you the okay.
Yeah, me too.
How's Junior?
He's good. Junior's good.
He's dealing with this,
you know.
He's staying at Steph's
tonight. He's spending
the night there.
Good and Steph is cool?
Yeah, Steph's good.
Steph's good.
How are you doing?
I'm all right.
I'm hanging in there.
You knew somebody
else with breast cancer?
Yeah.
Your mom.
Wow!
Thank you.
You're welcome, baby.
It's a beautiful day.
How about we
go hit up the diner?
Okay. But I'll treat.
Well, I got the tip then.
Deal.
I still love you, Ali.
I still love you, too.
Change of plans.
Give me your keys.
Where are we going?
To the love section.
(ALI LAUGHS)