Love You Anyway (2022) Movie Script
1
Hey there.
Hey, Mackenzie.
Hi, baby.
You're really fast.
I think we got
a future athlete on our hands.
Good throw.
Kick it right at me.
Almost.
Here.
Okay, watch the tree.
Come over the top or underneath.
Wow!
Look at that dynamic duo!
Lucas has cooties.
Do not.
We don't say that, Mac.
Apologize now.
Mac.
It's so good!
What are you doing
there, Big Mac?
We're learning how to tell time.
Daddy, look what Mackenzie did!
Oh, yeah, it's pretty good.
Oh, come on! Give me a break!
Hey! Watch it!
Sorry, mom.
Are you nervous
about the championship game?
- Yes.
- A little bit. Not really.
- What?
- You've thought about it.
No, you're nervous.
I got it.
What's up, Schaffer?
You know, just hanging in there.
- Stop doing that!
- What?
I know you're zooming in
on my face.
No, I'm not.
Do you think I'm pretty
or something?
Ew! No.
Stop recording and kick with me.
Coach thinks I need to work
on my foot skills.
Sure.
Mac, it's time to go.
My dad's moving out today,
so, see you tomorrow?
Uh, yeah, for sure.
So welcome to my crib.
I got to repaint the walls
now since I'm older
and don't like the color pink.
Here are my trophies
back to when I was like five.
Oh, and here is a stack
of books. I read a lot.
Oh, and here's some books
I haven't read.
Here's some medals.
Oh, and my art.
I keep it in my closet because
my mom thinks it's weird.
Mackenzie missed again.
Up and back. Let's go!
No one's going home
until Mackenzie makes a goal.
Come on chicken shits!
Hustle, hustle, hustle!
Now that Mackenzie's shown us
she actually deserves
to be on this team
we can all go home.
All right good practice.
Give me the camera.
What?
We can't have footage
of our practice get out there,
what if the other teams
get ahold of it?
They'll know our every move.
No, really, it's just for me,
so I can get better
at penalties.
Just give a crap
and you'll get better,
Mackenzie.
There you go.
Get it Mackenzie.
Oh, shit.
Hey, Mac. Your dad
wants me to take a video of you.
You told him?
I had to,
you're on his insurance.
Like he even cares.
No, don't stop.
If we're gonna send out a video,
let's send him a video.
Hey, dad, hope you're enjoying
your new life
with your new girlfriend.
I tore my ACL, so I'll be out
for a year at least.
So that fucking sucks.
Mac.
What? It's the truth,
this sucks,
dad sucks, don't act like it
doesn't suck.
You know what?
I'm not sending this.
Hey, Big Mac,
what day is it today?
Don't call me that.
It's the first day
of high school, Miss Schaffer.
Why are you taking a video?
Shouldn't we take a picture?
I like video we used
to take video all the time.
Okay, Spielberg.
You can't outrun me, you know.
Mom!
Hey, everyone.
So you might have seen
another thing going around
called "cinnamon challenge"
and me and my friend here are
gonna give it a whirl.
This is Mackenzie and she had
surgery to fix her ACL.
But don't worry,
they gave me the good stuff.
Okay, so we have some cinnamon,
two spoons,
some water bottles and a bowl.
A bowl?
Sometimes people have
to like spit back up.
This is gonna be awful.
We have to do at the same time,
okay?
Okay.
Alright, when I say go.
I'll count down from three.
I'm kind of freaked out.
Me too. Three, two, one, go.
Hello, Lucas.
So, uh, you're probably
really confused to see me
and you're probably thinking,
"When did Mac get my camera?"
Well it was when you were
in Walmart getting stuff
for a science project
because, you know,
so, yeah,
I'm pretty sneaky I guess.
Why do you always keep
this thing with you anyway?
I'm always watching.
Oh, shit, you're coming.
Hey, guys.
So I've been really getting
into makeup recently
and I've been mainly watching
by YouTube videos,
so, I thought I'd make
one of my own
to maybe help some people.
This is what I'm gonna call
my new everyday look.
I'm gonna do two steps,
one at home
and one at school
because my mom hates it.
But, you can do it all in one.
Like and subscribe below!
How's that knee feel?
Like brand new.
Ready to play next season?
I don't know.
How can you not know?
Don't you have like
a countdown in your room?
My doctor's worried about it.
About re-tearing it?
You can wear a brace?
Get it all strong and stuff.
Not that knee, the other one.
He's worried about me
tearing that one too.
I have bad knees or something.
Wait, Mac.
What are you saying?
I guess soccer isn't my thing
after all.
Lucas.
See, Mackenzie, that was easy.
I'm a good driver, mom.
I know you are
but this is just in case
you're in an accident
for evidence.
You know your cousin Shannon
could have sued that guy
if she had a dash cam.
Whatever.
No matter what I do
What I say
or I prove to the world
I'm not here
All the lies never leave me
And the pain keeps
on keeping me into the world
I'm still not here
Lucas Parker, over here!
Lucas Parker!
So, you had quite the game
today.
A goal and an assist!
What do you have to say
about that?
Oh, team played really great,
you know,
we work together
and that kind of stuff happens.
Uh, but, I mean,
like that's two goals
because of you, screw the team.
- Yeah.
- You just won the state championship.
What are you,
what are you gonna do now?
I'm gonna ask Katie out.
Oh, oh.
Uh, gotta kick some balls
to get some balls. I guess.
Oh, oh, wow!
First of all let me say
I must apologize for acting,
stinking, treating you this way
Cause I've been acting like
sour milk out on the floor
It's your fault you
didn't close the refrigerator
Maybe that's the reason
I've been acting so cold
- I did it!
- Yeah!
Lucas Parker,
delete that right now!
- No!
- Delete it!
Or what?
I will stop this car
and you can get your ride home.
I've heard that before.
Why are you so close?
- I gotta... Okay, go.
- Okay.
Go for it.
Yeah, there you go.
I did it.
What are you looking at?
I'm just looking at you.
Hey, I'm back. Here you go.
Thanks.
- Wanna take a picture?
- Yeah, go for it.
Mm-hmm.
- Vogue! Vogue! Vogue!
- Is it cute?
- Yes.
- Let me see.
Go ahead! Open it.
Sure you're gonna want
this video if I don't get in?
Rejection letters
do not come in big envelopes.
Open it!
Okay, fine, whatever.
What does it say?
I'm on the waitlist.
Oh, honey, that's okay,
that's still really good.
So much for big envelopes.
- Hey, mom, could you stop please.
- Oh, yeah.
Pearson high school's
own Lucas Parker signed today.
He will attend Northern Indiana
University next fall.
Parker has been Pearson's
shining star athlete
for the last two years and was heavily
recruited during his final season.
It'd be better from this angle,
if I can catch this.
Okay, are you ready.
- You sure you don't want me to hold...
- No, no, I've got it.
Okay, one, two, three.
I caught it again.
It's okay, here,
try one more time.
- Go.
- Three!
Three!
- Dang!
- Are you scared of it or...?
No! Three!
- I give up.
- Oh! That catch!
Mackenzie, what are you doing?
- I'm dancing!
- Yeah, I can see that.
Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Uh-huh!
Wow!
Come on, come on!
I think this party is going
to be so great.
- Uh-huh.
- Wait a minute.
- Uh-huh.
- We're here.
This way, this way!
Hey, um,
so Mr. Henries had our graduating
class do a time capsule,
but, I didn't put anything
in there
because I didn't want
any kindergartner in 2030,
whatever,
digging through any of my crap.
But, um,
it was a good idea I guess, so,
I figured I'd make one for myself.
Just for fun.
Um, so I just graduated.
Yay!
This summer was pretty cool too.
Lucas, Lucas is great,
he's pretty busy all the time,
though.
He's always at practice
or working out or something.
I think he's worried he's
not going to be good enough,
but I'm not worried at all.
I'm not really excited
about going to college.
Lucas is going to Indiana and
I'm going to be here in Missouri,
so, that sucks.
Katie's going to Georgia,
they're going to try
the whole long distance thing,
which I think is a terrible
idea, but, he loves her, so.
Sometimes, when I think
about it I'm...
I just, I don't really
want to go to college.
It just freaks me out because...
I don't really know who I am or
what I want to do
and I think,
I think the classes might be
really hard because I...
really didn't study the way that
I should have in high school,
but, but it is what it is now,
right?
So...
I mean, I mean, we don't know
what's gonna happen,
but, um,
we'll find out soon.
Ugh! Come on.
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
dear Mackenzie
Happy birthday to you
Mac?
Baby?
Mackenzie, Mackenzie!
Mackenzie, wake up!
Oh, my God!
What is wrong with you?
Did you take these?
Mac, did you take these?
Why did you take Oxies?
I'm sleeping.
Where did you get these?
Mackenzie!
Did you take both these
at the same time?
Oh, my God!
Babe, why would you do that?
Oh, my God! Where's my phone?
Where the hell is my phone?
Shit!
Happy birthday, Mackenzie.
I wanna make this video because
I wanted you to have something
right when you woke up
the minute that you woke up,
but I also wanted
to show you this.
Ta-da!
Ta-da! Check this out.
Yeah, the team helped me
bring that in.
It's heavy.
What.
What is that?
Is that Mackenzie original
hanging on my wall?
Damn! Look at that!
See? I'm gonna see that
every single day. Thank you.
Anyways I just want
to wish you a happy birthday.
I hope you had a good night,
hope you have a good day.
Yeah I'm gonna call you later.
Love you lots.
Bye!
Come on!
Give a tour for grandma.
Oh, I mean there's not really
much to tour, but, okay.
This is Jenna's side,
my roommate.
I met her earlier,
she seems pretty cool.
This is my side,
we got this comforter
at Bed Bath & Beyond on sale
which I'm very proud of.
Oh, my pictures.
I... I don't know
if I like them.
I tried to make collage but
I don't think it worked well,
but, uh, here's my desk and...
No, don't do that.
Keep it there
so you don't forget.
But grandma doesn't know.
Uh, Hey, Jenna.
What are you watching?
No! You're gonna laugh.
What? Why?
Because you watch scary
stuff all the time.
Just tell me
what you're watching.
Doctor Who.
Okay, oh, my God!
Stop, it's scary okay.
You don't... Wow!
Shit, what the heck?
Why is it scary?
Just stop videoing me,
Mackenzie.
- It's really not that bad.
- You're so rude.
- Oh, are you gonna cry?
- This is bad. Okay, bye.
Okay, so, just answer the questions
as naturally as you can, thank you.
Well, like, right now?
Well, yes right now,
it's due in ten minutes.
- Jenna, what are you...?
- What?
Okay, fine.
Well, I'd like to finish
my sandwich, but let's go.
Sorry.
Okay, what's your first
impression to people who meet you?
Um...
I think people think
I'm pretty standoffish,
but I don't think that's totally
accurate of me, um...
That's funny.
- I just look really tired sometimes.
- Right.
But, I think people think
I'm nice enough.
Okay. What sort of first
impression do you desire?
Desire.
With that I'm, hello, hi...
I just had to get your sandwich
and your outfit, sorry.
- Yeah, you said desire, um...
- Yes.
That I'm confident, I'd really
like people to think I'm confident
and that I'm a good friend
and that I care.
Hey Lucas, um,
I know you're sleeping because
I called you like three times
and you usually answer.
Your voicemail box
isn't set up yet
so I decided I just make
this little video.
Sorry.
Um...
I can't sleep.
I had a macchiato at eight
and didn't realize
it would still be in my system.
So...
I don't know,
just want to talk to you,
yeah.
It's hard sometimes.
Everything's fine,
but it's just,
it's hard sometimes.
And go!
Yeah, go team!
What are you on right now?
The bumper.
Yo!
Look, she's out of it.
Dude.
What do you think she took?
I can't even tell you,
she's leaving right now.
Check me out, bro.
Oh, don't touch her,
that's fucked up.
Watch bro, look.
Boom, bro!
Oxies, man.
This girl is on Venus
right now, man.
- Shit.
- That's crazy.
Guys, it is-30 in the afternoon.
My roommate is the heaviest
sleeper I've ever met.
This is unacceptable.
So, I'm gonna try something.
Watch.
Hey, girl!
What? I'm sorry.
Ah! You bitch!
Sorry, no, I'm not sorry.
Well, we did what we came here
to do, which is play hard,
take advantage
of every opportunity
the opposing team gave us
and, uh, for that, you know,
I'm proud of our team
and everything we accomplished
here today.
Parker, how did it feel competing
in your first tournament?
Well, I mean, this is
the first one with these boys
and, I don't know how it could
have felt better or worse
but now we got a title to defend
and I don't think any of us
take that lightly.
Thank you, thank you.
Do you like the decorations?
Um, yeah, they're just...
Oh, my gosh!
What! When did you get here?
You said you were in Vegas!
I know, I know,
I squeezed in a day.
- Mom, you knew?
- Surprise!
- Yeah. Ready.
- Okay.
Oh, no, that's not what...
Hey, Mac, you're bleeding.
- Hmm?
- You're bleeding.
Oh, I just must have busted
a scab, it's fine.
- Is that fresh? You said you were getting better.
- I am, stop.
So, I haven't really done
this in a while,
but, um,
it's been really hard
being back home.
Even harder
than I thought it would be.
Even see my friend Lucas
was hard,
because he's...
he's living the dream.
He's always done everything
right and I'm just like this...
major fuck up
and I don't...
I don't want to be like this,
but every day it's just, uh...
It's really hard...
hard to wake up.
It's hard to go to sleep.
And I want to be happy
because everybody else is happy
but I can't.
I can't...
Kenzie,
you have read receipts on.
Hey, I know you're getting
my texts.
I'm worried about you,
I don't know if you're being
serious, if you're joking,
but you're starting to scare
the shit out of me, okay?
So just please tell me
what's going on.
This isn't you.
So...
Lucas and I just got in this
fucking huge fight
and I don't have anyone to talk
about it with
because I don't have any friends
and I didn't realize that
until now.
He was just like begging me
to call him so I did
and then he just kept saying,
"This isn't you and you're
acting weird and stuff"
but he just doesn't get it.
This is who I am.
I'm the emotional fuck-up
that is flunking
her first semester in college
and I don't have any friends
because I'm a bad person.
I'm not a good friend I...
he just doesn't get it.
He doesn't know
the things that I thought,
he doesn't know.
He just doesn't know
how hard I'm trying
not to be just a fuck up.
He doesn't get it.
God, I look pathetic.
What's that?
I don't think
I can do this anymore.
Everyday it's just really awful.
And I'm just really tired
feeling this bad all the time.
It hurts so much
and nothing anybody says helps,
nothing I do helps.
It's just like there's
this hole in my chest
and it won't go away.
So, I just don't think
it's worth it anymore,
because I don't have a future
and I'm just like this big
burden on everybody that I love
and I know they're getting sick
of me because...
I keep fucking up.
But I'm trying.
I'm trying so hard,
but every day is just like
my own personal hell.
So mommy I'm... I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry, mommy.
I love you and I'm so sorry,
you've always been so good to me
even when I was being a bitch,
I'm sorry mommy.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
And Lucas,
thank you for being my friend
even when I didn't deserve it.
And I know you're gonna be
an amazing soccer player.
I'm already...
I'm already so proud
of you, okay?
I don't think I can do this
anymore...
God, I wish I wasn't doing this.
But I've already...
I've already taken
a lot of these, so...
I'm so sorry.
Are you ready?
Yep, I am.
Hey, Mac.
I'm making this video
so that you, uh,
you know you have something
when you wake up.
They won't let me be here.
I tried.
You're asleep right now.
You know, uh, when your mom
called me
and told me what happened
the first thing
that I thought about
was when we were kids
and we'd watch Scooby-Doo
over and over and over again
on repeat.
And then we started dressing up
like them to watch it.
Remember?
And you were always Daphne.
I was always Scooby,
and we'd just...
I care about you so much, Mac.
We all do.
You're like, you're like
this amazing light in our life.
You know, and the...
the idea of that light
just going out.
Mac, there's nothing
that you can ever do
that'll ever change the way
I feel about you.
I will always love you anyway,
always.
I'm gonna record again.
Is that still okay?
Yeah, sure.
How are you feeling
today, Mackenzie?
Um.
The withdraw is over,
so, better I guess.
I haven't been...
totally sober in a while.
I usually have a beer
or something
to take the edge off, you know.
How does it feel?
Not so great.
I just...
have a lot to think about.
Must be frightening.
Um...
I just keep thinking about...
my mom's face
when she found me.
It's blurry
but I still remember.
She was really scared.
I didn't want her to be scared,
I just wanted it to be over.
It?
No...
the way I was feeling.
I just wanted it to stop.
I guess that's why I took the oxies
in the first place and it worked.
It worked,
but then it stopped working.
Yeah, and...
I don't know, I guess...
life just seemed
pretty impossible without it.
Hey, sweetie.
I just got back
from grandma's funeral.
It was nice.
Simple, I guess.
A lot of people asked about you,
asked how you were doing,
so, I told them
you were doing better
but that seemed to confuse them,
so, I started trying to explain
and then I started crying
and they backed off,
which was nice, I guess.
You know, I didn't understand
at first
why you chose not to come
with me today,
because I really,
I really needed you there
with me more than anything.
But when I saw the casket
it just reminded me how close
I was to losing you too.
But, you, my girl,
you are a fighter.
You are so strong
and so beautiful.
And I know you might think
this whole thing has just made
you weak or ugly,
but that is so not true.
You have to believe me.
My mother wasn't always
there for me,
but I am always gonna be there
for you
and don't you forget that, Mac.
Not ever.
Um, so, I don't have phone
privileges in here.
So, Rhonda is helping me film.
Um...
I have depression and...
I got addicted to drugs
when I started using them
to manage my emotions.
But, I've been in rehab
for two months now
and I'm working through it.
When I was a kid I used
to play guitar all the time.
And at my lowest point
I sold it for drugs.
But I wrote a song
and I'd like you guys to hear it
and I hope it helps.
Take my hand
I promise it gets better,
just around the bend
Hear my voice
Don't let it get lost
in all your mental noise
Your road has been hard, but
the journey's not complete
You're worth fighting for,
and a person I'd like to meet
I'd like to meet you
I'd like to know
What you felt
at your lowest low
I'd like to meet you
And I'd like to know
What you felt
at your lowest low
Happy birthday, Lucas.
I get to call you later, but,
I just wanted you to know
that we're all here rooting
for you,
um, you have some new fans
by the way, but, uh,
it seems to me, sir,
you're moving a little slow.
I think that's you.
Gonna need to see
some more hustle.
All right,
I'll call you later, bye.
Hi, Lucas.
I stole your phone,
like the good old days.
I didn't go through your photos
or anything
but you should really
change your passcode,
you've had the same one
since like fifth grade.
Oh, a message from...
Katie.
Are you guys...
are you guys back together.
I mean, are you holding out
at me, Parker?
Oh, cause we're gonna talk
about this when you wake up,
if you ever do...
Okay, um, thanks, guys.
Uh...
I didn't think leaving rehab
would be bittersweet,
but, I guess I owe it to all
the amazing people here,
so...
Um, I know this hasn't been easy
for anyone,
especially my family,
and, when I got here
I wanted to stay alive for them,
but...
now I want to stay alive for me.
The world still scares me and...
I have no idea what my life
looks like three months from now
and that terrifies me,
but I want it
and that's something I honestly
couldn't have said three months ago.
I want to say thank you
to my mom
for being my rock
no matter what,
and just,
yeah, always being there.
Thank you
to all the amazing people here
that were determined
to get through to me,
especially Dr. Carter.
And, um,
I want to call out Lucas,
specifically,
because he flew all
the way out here
from Indianapolis,
even when I said
it wasn't a big deal.
Okay.
So, Lucas, you have always
been my best friend.
And...
you've always chosen to see me.
The real me.
Even when I couldn't
or didn't want to.
And, you made me laugh
through the tears
and hugged me when I really,
really needed it.
So, thanks for being
the best friend
a depressed girl could ask for.
- Daniel.
- All right.
So, it's just we're doing the C,
and then a B, into the E.
These are minor,
those two are minor.
- Are we picking, or...
- Do a little finger pick.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Okay.
Nice.
Aw... Shut up.
- Shut up!
- No, no, no!
You're nervous
because of the camera.
I found the key,
I found the key.
I don't know the key.
I found it, I found it again.
Thought you were supposed
to be a musician?
I'm nailing it.
Thought you were supposed
to be this really cool...
And maybe you are, a little bit.
- I found it, I found it!
- This whole time.
Sell yourself a little short.
Excuse me,
could you help me find a copy
of Ana Karenina?
Mom, what are you doing here?
I wanted to catch you
in your natural habitat.
Since when do you read classic
novels?
I read a lot, actually.
Okay, well, if you'll follow me
this way.
We have it here.
You know this is huge, right?
Like, do you even have time
to read this?
I'll find time.
- All right.
- Thank you.
What excellent service.
Well, you know, we try, we try,
so, please, please come back.
Boom, three hours post tattoo.
Time for the big reveal,
you ready?
Yep, here we go.
- Why are you going so slow?
- It hurts.
That hurt... you got a tattoo
and it's the tape that hurts?
- Yes.
- Just take... just rip it off.
- Shut up! Slow and steady.
- Go, go, go!
Damn.
Wow!
- What do you think?
- I really like it.
Well, good, you're stuck
with it forever now.
I'm stuck with it forever!
Lucas come here, come here!
Stop, okay.
- Okay, you have the ring?
- Yes, of course.
All right, you ready for this,
Parker?
- Yeah, you?
- Yeah.
Dan, thank you for doing this,
by the way.
Dude, it's an honor.
Oh!
Katie just got here.
You ready?
- It's game time!
- All right, go.
Ready, babe?
Yeah, uh, let's do this.
Katie, I love you.
Ever since I asked you out
three years ago to this day
I knew you were special.
I never knew how kind and smart
and insanely beautiful...
There's nothing that I want more than
spend the rest of my life with you
as soon as possible.
Katie...
- Will you marry me?
- Oh, God.
- Yeah?
- Yeah!
So cute!
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, it's beautiful!
What?
Guys, what?
It's so pretty, you did so good.
Oh...
Love you too.
Um, I have no idea
what I'm doing.
Okay.
That's the zoom,
you're doing right now,
that's the zoom and you can use
that if you want to,
everything else is on auto,
though.
- Okay, I got it.
- Get it, you ready? All right.
Day one of the road trip
and, uh, so far I think
Mackenzie has eaten
all the snacks.
No, I haven't, you liar.
I left you some carrots.
Carrots?
That's all we have left?
We are going to Dallas,
uh, from my band's show.
And where's your band, good sir?
They're in the other car.
And why is that?
Because I wanted to spend
some alone time with my girl.
Eyes on the road, cool guy.
It's a red light.
- Turn the camera off.
- Okay, look at me.
- Do you want some?
- Oh!
- Do you want some?
- No, no, thanks.
Okay, um...
Lucas, I FaceTimed you
like six times,
so, I guess you're pretty busy,
but, um...
I'm in Dallas with Daniel and...
you were right.
I really didn't want you
to be right, but, you were right
and I think this is all just
a bit too much for me
because some guy
just offered me coke
and it was really hard to say no
and I could have done it
but I didn't.
Daniel's still inside.
He's gonna kill me
when he finds out that I left.
Shit.
But, um, just... just call me
back when you can, okay?
Kenzie, Kenz!
Hey, what's up,
what are you doing?
Let me in, I just,
I just want to talk to you.
Are you fucking high right now?
No! God, no, of course not.
Daniel, you said
you wouldn't do anything
if I came with you.
Look, just,
just come inside, okay?
We're about to put...
- No, fuck this.
- We can talk about this.
Hey!
Hey, where the fuck?
You can't take my car, bitch!
Hello, world. Mackenzie here.
I just decided to make
this video because...
I didn't have it for me
when I was battling
my depression,
and um...
I just felt
that it was really important.
Today is the one-year
anniversary
of when I attempted suicide.
A lot has changed since then,
um...
but a lot is still the same.
Like I still have depression,
um...
some days are better
than others,
and um...
my future and who I want to be
in this world is still...
really fuzzy to me and
overwhelming for me to think about.
But, I want it.
Hi, everybody.
My name is Mackenzie
and this is my first time
performing.
This is dedicated
to my best friend Lucas,
wherever you are.
He knows
that I'm too competitive
to turn down a bet, so.
This one's for you Lucas.
I remember us so clearly
Like it was yesterday
Tonight, Northern Indiana
University's star soccer player
is in critical condition
after a deadly car crash.
Lucas Parker and his fiance,
Katie Hamilton,
were hit by a drunk driver
just before nine o'clock
at the intersection
of Shelbyville and Hurstbourne.
Parker was transported
to Baptist East Hospital
in critical condition.
The crash was caused
by an oncoming drunk driver
who died at the scene.
As they'll be forever
memories
There will always be
another day
Forever memories
This could be a higher way
Thank you, guys.
So, uh...
obviously I'm not Lucas,
even though this his Instagram.
As some of you probably
heard earlier, Lucas was...
in a car crash
and it's something to do
with his head or his brain.
It's... It's really bad.
So, we can really use your
thoughts and prayers, please.
As time goes by
I'll be waiting for you
As time goes by
I'll be dreaming for you
When you open your eyes
The sunrise will be here
for you
I'll be here for you
When you're sharing
your stories
My smile will look
right back at you
So please will you
Just open your eyes
The sun will shine bright
when you're with me
Just open your eyes
Can't go another night
to see you like this
Just open your eyes
The sun will shine bright
when you're with me
Just open your eyes
I can't go another night
to see you like this
But we'll get through this
Hey.
You're gonna have
a lot of these videos
when you wake up,
so, sorry not sorry.
I guess.
It's just really hard
not talking to you.
I know what it's like
to have to fight to stay alive.
To want to even,
and I know that you are Lucas,
but please, I need you
to fight harder
and I hope that somehow you know
that I'm fighting too.
Every day is so hard.
I want to reuse and I want
to slip back into old habits
but I'm not and I won't,
because, I'm going to be there
for you.
The same way you were for me.
Attempt number 200.
Whatever to get you to wake up.
Oh!
- Hey.
- Hey.
I just came to check on him
before I leave.
Yeah.
God,
it's so hard to look at him.
Oh, I mean his hair just needs
a little work, you know.
I don't know
how I'm gonna do this.
Katie, we're all just taking it
day by day.
No, Mac,
like...
I don't know if I can.
What do you mean?
It's just, like...
this is a lot.
All the time,
I'm all messed up too.
Katie, he's gonna wake up,
he's...
It was my fault.
What?
I ran the light.
It was yellow already
but I hit the gas.
I mean, we were running late
and I hate running...
The drunk hit us
but I put us there.
I mean, if we hadn't been going
so fast,
that...
it wouldn't have been
that he wouldn't...
- Katie...
- I'm sorry.
Shit!
Hey, everyone.
Just wanted to give you guys
a quick update.
Look who woke up!
Thank you guys for all your
notes and encouragement.
No, seriously,
like, you're the best.
He has some tests he has to go do,
so, we'll talk to you guys later.
Bye!
What are you doing?
I was just trying
to get you to wake up.
This is so stupid!
Physical therapy day one!
Parker! Parker! Parker!
He really likes the blanket
you made him, mom,
especially because it matches
the bear that Katie got him,
but I don't know
where that's at, but...
Oh...
Day 23.
Wait, Lucas,
where's your crutches.
It's no big deal, Mac.
Yes, it is, you're going
to hurt yourself, stop.
It doesn't matter, Mackenzie.
Lucas, listen to me.
I need to. Mackenzie, it's fine,
just put...
Lucas look what came in the...
Are you okay?
No...
My doctor told my coach that
I couldn't play next season,
so they cut me.
Lucas, I'm...
I'm sorry.
Is that your letter?
Yeah, but...
- Come on, pass me the camera.
- No.
Your mom always wants recordings
of this stuff.
We don't have to.
Alright, step one, go back.
- Here.
- Yeah, that's good.
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
I like that.
I got in.
Yeah, congrats.
Seriously.
Welcome home.
Where are you going?
I don't know.
I'm just kind of tired, Mac.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, that's fine.
Thanks for the poster,
it's cool.
Yeah, do you need anything?
No, I'll just take a nap.
Okay.
Good job, strong kicks.
Nice!
Okay, stop.
There you go, nice!
- Hi, here's the rest of your stuff.
- Thanks.
How is he?
He's doing okay.
See you around.
I'm glad,
you know, that, um,
you were there for him
during all this
when I couldn't be.
He's really lucky.
Well, he's...
he's my best friend, so...
We're gonna get it.
Lucas we're gonna get it,
we're gonna get it.
Still got a long way to go.
Yeah, but,
they're making a comeback.
Katie.
Hey...
Hey, Katie!
What are you doing here?
They, they cut me, but,
but you already knew that, huh?
I didn't know that.
Yeah, you did.
That's why you dumped me.
Because I couldn't play soccer
anymore.
That's not true and you know it.
As soon as things get tough,
Katie's out. Good-bye.
Jump ship.
You need to go.
I can't believe you dumped me.
You dumped
your crippled fianc...
You wanted to be over too.
No, no, no I didn't.
I remember the way
that you looked at me
in the hospital.
Every day,
like...
like it was all my fault.
Like I took away everything
that you ever...
How were we supposed to get married
when you looked at me like that.
No, that's bullshit. Bullshit.
So you can't reply to my texts,
but you can show up
to my house drunk?
That's bullshit, Lucas.
Um.
Hey, Lucas.
I've been...
thinking about this a lot
and it's really hard for me
to say,
but,
things are getting
out of control,
and, I've told you this before
but you didn't believe me
and you really should.
I couldn't even get you
to the couch this time
before you passed out.
Look, I know what it's like
to just hate everything.
To resent everything
and everyone.
I know what it's like
better than most people.
I know what you're going
through but it has to stop.
If not for you then for me.
It's not easy for me to be
around you
when you're so out of it
because it makes me
want to be out of it too.
God knows it feels great
to just check out
when things get bad,
but I can't do that anymore.
So,
consider this your wake-up call,
your intervention or whatever.
You can be so much more
than this, Lucas.
You are so much more than this.
Um...
so for now,
I'm not gonna come over.
I know it doesn't seem like it
but there...
is more to life
than Katie and soccer.
Your future looks different now but
that doesn't have to be a bad thing.
Alright.
Alright, Lucas.
You're gonna watch this
every single morning
and you're gonna remember
these three things.
One,
you gotta take it day by day,
alright, and every day, I mean, something's
just gonna get a little bit better.
Two,
enough with the booze, man,
it doesn't do shit.
And three, like,
you're doing this for yourself for the
man that you know that you are, but,
but you're doing it for Mac.
Because you love her
and you can't keep hurting her
like this.
Okay. Every day.
Happy birthday to you
Okay.
Mom, are you recording a video?
She always records,
you know that.
Mm-hmm.
You'll be thankful
for these videos one day, okay?
Trust me.
Actually, Mac.
While the camera is out.
Are you gonna open it?
"Best coach."
Yeah you're not too bad
with your kids
and with me.
I can still kick a soccer ball,
wait for it...
Whatever, God.
She won't even look up, watch.
Hey, Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac!
What?
What you doing?
What do you think I'm doing?
What are you doing?
Uh? Homework?
Come on, let's hustle,
let's hustle!
Yo, what time is it?
Alright.
Keep up the pace.
Wait, Lucas, what,
what was your career assessment?
- Okay, Mac, please no...
- Stop!
Vegas Entertainer.
- Wow! What would you even do?
- I don't even know, Mac.
You know what?
Oh, Magic Lucas.
Uh-huh.
I think thousands of people
will pay to come and see you.
I just wasted 30 minutes
of my life on this.
Vegas!
Guys! Come on!
You're gonna miss it.
Happy new year!
Lucas Parker.
What does this say?
What? "Mac I am writing this"
"from the plane." Is that plane?
Um, "I keep thinking about what"
something year old Lucas
would say,"
Oh 12-year-old Lucas would say.
Why,
why did we, the plastic?
Oh, why did we wait
till the last day.
I don't know why,
why did we wait.
Hey, Mac.
On my way to the library.
Bring my study on.
See what's up,
see what you're doing.
I had a walk, uh, I had to walk
through the soccer field today
and the whole team was there,
so.
It wasn't that great
but, but, hey, I gotta,
I got a kinesiology midterm
to study for, so.
Call me in like, what,
three hours.
I'll definitely need
to pick me up.
Bye.
So, my mom really misses you,
Lucas.
Yep.
All I do is sit in my room
all day listening to sad music.
It's pitiful, really.
Yeah, but, it's okay, because,
Mac bought me plane tickets.
Wait, what, I didn't...
Oh, my God, wait,
are you serious?
- Yeah.
- Wait a minute.
Are you...
Are you into this Parker?
What is happening?
I got to pack. Hold on.
How many are you taking?
I haven't taken one yet.
Hurry up. It's cold.
Did you take it?
- It might be a video.
- What?
Is there something you want
to remember about this, Parker?
Always.
Here.
What are you thinking about?
Thinking about how this feels
really great.
And how it feels really good
to feel right again.
Take my hand
Please don't worry about the
scars that you still hide
How are you feeling,
miss Parker?
I'm feeling pretty great,
Mr. Parker.
Mm-hmm. Good, because, uh, well,
I don't know if you know this,
but, we're married.
Oh! We're married!
Only 17 hours left to go.
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
Yeah, baby!
We're on our way to Florida.
Hey mama Schaffer.
We're in our new house.
Yeah, we are!
- How's that going?
- Are you mocking me?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, see? You have no clue
what you're doing!
Now what is an entrepreneur
doing up so late?
What do you think?
Well, I would definitely
go there
and I don't even play soccer
anymore.
So, happy?
Yeah, it's been a long time.
I'm excited.
Hey, little guy!
It's okay.
It's okay.
That's okay, that's okay.
Yeah, yeah, hi.
That's okay,
you're okay, you're okay.
How long you been out?
You kick like a pup
On the couch
Well, I'll keep
My voice down
I forgot
What I was festering about
It was something 'bout
A kick I'm on
Something 'bout
A kingdom come
It's something new
Every month
But I swear this one's it
No more boy
Who cried purpose
Who am I tryin'
To convince?
Somewhere I lost track
Somewhere
I lost track of it
How much time have I got?
You're the closest thing
To a break I've caught
Like a dry heaving cough
How much time
Do you think I've lost
Just staring
At a warehouse clock?
Move that barrel
Lift that box
Hell, man, it's a job
Don't you worry
Come next year
We'll be on our feet
I swear
Are these dreams
Or they prayers?
Somewhere I lost track
Somewhere I lost track
Somewhere I lost track
Somewhere I lost track
Talking in your sleep again
Said,
"We're in the home stretch"
I said under my breath
"You're all
I could've wanted"
Somewhere I lost track
Somewhere I lost track
Somewhere I lost track
Somewhere I lost track
Hey there.
Hey, Mackenzie.
Hi, baby.
You're really fast.
I think we got
a future athlete on our hands.
Good throw.
Kick it right at me.
Almost.
Here.
Okay, watch the tree.
Come over the top or underneath.
Wow!
Look at that dynamic duo!
Lucas has cooties.
Do not.
We don't say that, Mac.
Apologize now.
Mac.
It's so good!
What are you doing
there, Big Mac?
We're learning how to tell time.
Daddy, look what Mackenzie did!
Oh, yeah, it's pretty good.
Oh, come on! Give me a break!
Hey! Watch it!
Sorry, mom.
Are you nervous
about the championship game?
- Yes.
- A little bit. Not really.
- What?
- You've thought about it.
No, you're nervous.
I got it.
What's up, Schaffer?
You know, just hanging in there.
- Stop doing that!
- What?
I know you're zooming in
on my face.
No, I'm not.
Do you think I'm pretty
or something?
Ew! No.
Stop recording and kick with me.
Coach thinks I need to work
on my foot skills.
Sure.
Mac, it's time to go.
My dad's moving out today,
so, see you tomorrow?
Uh, yeah, for sure.
So welcome to my crib.
I got to repaint the walls
now since I'm older
and don't like the color pink.
Here are my trophies
back to when I was like five.
Oh, and here is a stack
of books. I read a lot.
Oh, and here's some books
I haven't read.
Here's some medals.
Oh, and my art.
I keep it in my closet because
my mom thinks it's weird.
Mackenzie missed again.
Up and back. Let's go!
No one's going home
until Mackenzie makes a goal.
Come on chicken shits!
Hustle, hustle, hustle!
Now that Mackenzie's shown us
she actually deserves
to be on this team
we can all go home.
All right good practice.
Give me the camera.
What?
We can't have footage
of our practice get out there,
what if the other teams
get ahold of it?
They'll know our every move.
No, really, it's just for me,
so I can get better
at penalties.
Just give a crap
and you'll get better,
Mackenzie.
There you go.
Get it Mackenzie.
Oh, shit.
Hey, Mac. Your dad
wants me to take a video of you.
You told him?
I had to,
you're on his insurance.
Like he even cares.
No, don't stop.
If we're gonna send out a video,
let's send him a video.
Hey, dad, hope you're enjoying
your new life
with your new girlfriend.
I tore my ACL, so I'll be out
for a year at least.
So that fucking sucks.
Mac.
What? It's the truth,
this sucks,
dad sucks, don't act like it
doesn't suck.
You know what?
I'm not sending this.
Hey, Big Mac,
what day is it today?
Don't call me that.
It's the first day
of high school, Miss Schaffer.
Why are you taking a video?
Shouldn't we take a picture?
I like video we used
to take video all the time.
Okay, Spielberg.
You can't outrun me, you know.
Mom!
Hey, everyone.
So you might have seen
another thing going around
called "cinnamon challenge"
and me and my friend here are
gonna give it a whirl.
This is Mackenzie and she had
surgery to fix her ACL.
But don't worry,
they gave me the good stuff.
Okay, so we have some cinnamon,
two spoons,
some water bottles and a bowl.
A bowl?
Sometimes people have
to like spit back up.
This is gonna be awful.
We have to do at the same time,
okay?
Okay.
Alright, when I say go.
I'll count down from three.
I'm kind of freaked out.
Me too. Three, two, one, go.
Hello, Lucas.
So, uh, you're probably
really confused to see me
and you're probably thinking,
"When did Mac get my camera?"
Well it was when you were
in Walmart getting stuff
for a science project
because, you know,
so, yeah,
I'm pretty sneaky I guess.
Why do you always keep
this thing with you anyway?
I'm always watching.
Oh, shit, you're coming.
Hey, guys.
So I've been really getting
into makeup recently
and I've been mainly watching
by YouTube videos,
so, I thought I'd make
one of my own
to maybe help some people.
This is what I'm gonna call
my new everyday look.
I'm gonna do two steps,
one at home
and one at school
because my mom hates it.
But, you can do it all in one.
Like and subscribe below!
How's that knee feel?
Like brand new.
Ready to play next season?
I don't know.
How can you not know?
Don't you have like
a countdown in your room?
My doctor's worried about it.
About re-tearing it?
You can wear a brace?
Get it all strong and stuff.
Not that knee, the other one.
He's worried about me
tearing that one too.
I have bad knees or something.
Wait, Mac.
What are you saying?
I guess soccer isn't my thing
after all.
Lucas.
See, Mackenzie, that was easy.
I'm a good driver, mom.
I know you are
but this is just in case
you're in an accident
for evidence.
You know your cousin Shannon
could have sued that guy
if she had a dash cam.
Whatever.
No matter what I do
What I say
or I prove to the world
I'm not here
All the lies never leave me
And the pain keeps
on keeping me into the world
I'm still not here
Lucas Parker, over here!
Lucas Parker!
So, you had quite the game
today.
A goal and an assist!
What do you have to say
about that?
Oh, team played really great,
you know,
we work together
and that kind of stuff happens.
Uh, but, I mean,
like that's two goals
because of you, screw the team.
- Yeah.
- You just won the state championship.
What are you,
what are you gonna do now?
I'm gonna ask Katie out.
Oh, oh.
Uh, gotta kick some balls
to get some balls. I guess.
Oh, oh, wow!
First of all let me say
I must apologize for acting,
stinking, treating you this way
Cause I've been acting like
sour milk out on the floor
It's your fault you
didn't close the refrigerator
Maybe that's the reason
I've been acting so cold
- I did it!
- Yeah!
Lucas Parker,
delete that right now!
- No!
- Delete it!
Or what?
I will stop this car
and you can get your ride home.
I've heard that before.
Why are you so close?
- I gotta... Okay, go.
- Okay.
Go for it.
Yeah, there you go.
I did it.
What are you looking at?
I'm just looking at you.
Hey, I'm back. Here you go.
Thanks.
- Wanna take a picture?
- Yeah, go for it.
Mm-hmm.
- Vogue! Vogue! Vogue!
- Is it cute?
- Yes.
- Let me see.
Go ahead! Open it.
Sure you're gonna want
this video if I don't get in?
Rejection letters
do not come in big envelopes.
Open it!
Okay, fine, whatever.
What does it say?
I'm on the waitlist.
Oh, honey, that's okay,
that's still really good.
So much for big envelopes.
- Hey, mom, could you stop please.
- Oh, yeah.
Pearson high school's
own Lucas Parker signed today.
He will attend Northern Indiana
University next fall.
Parker has been Pearson's
shining star athlete
for the last two years and was heavily
recruited during his final season.
It'd be better from this angle,
if I can catch this.
Okay, are you ready.
- You sure you don't want me to hold...
- No, no, I've got it.
Okay, one, two, three.
I caught it again.
It's okay, here,
try one more time.
- Go.
- Three!
Three!
- Dang!
- Are you scared of it or...?
No! Three!
- I give up.
- Oh! That catch!
Mackenzie, what are you doing?
- I'm dancing!
- Yeah, I can see that.
Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Uh-huh!
Wow!
Come on, come on!
I think this party is going
to be so great.
- Uh-huh.
- Wait a minute.
- Uh-huh.
- We're here.
This way, this way!
Hey, um,
so Mr. Henries had our graduating
class do a time capsule,
but, I didn't put anything
in there
because I didn't want
any kindergartner in 2030,
whatever,
digging through any of my crap.
But, um,
it was a good idea I guess, so,
I figured I'd make one for myself.
Just for fun.
Um, so I just graduated.
Yay!
This summer was pretty cool too.
Lucas, Lucas is great,
he's pretty busy all the time,
though.
He's always at practice
or working out or something.
I think he's worried he's
not going to be good enough,
but I'm not worried at all.
I'm not really excited
about going to college.
Lucas is going to Indiana and
I'm going to be here in Missouri,
so, that sucks.
Katie's going to Georgia,
they're going to try
the whole long distance thing,
which I think is a terrible
idea, but, he loves her, so.
Sometimes, when I think
about it I'm...
I just, I don't really
want to go to college.
It just freaks me out because...
I don't really know who I am or
what I want to do
and I think,
I think the classes might be
really hard because I...
really didn't study the way that
I should have in high school,
but, but it is what it is now,
right?
So...
I mean, I mean, we don't know
what's gonna happen,
but, um,
we'll find out soon.
Ugh! Come on.
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
dear Mackenzie
Happy birthday to you
Mac?
Baby?
Mackenzie, Mackenzie!
Mackenzie, wake up!
Oh, my God!
What is wrong with you?
Did you take these?
Mac, did you take these?
Why did you take Oxies?
I'm sleeping.
Where did you get these?
Mackenzie!
Did you take both these
at the same time?
Oh, my God!
Babe, why would you do that?
Oh, my God! Where's my phone?
Where the hell is my phone?
Shit!
Happy birthday, Mackenzie.
I wanna make this video because
I wanted you to have something
right when you woke up
the minute that you woke up,
but I also wanted
to show you this.
Ta-da!
Ta-da! Check this out.
Yeah, the team helped me
bring that in.
It's heavy.
What.
What is that?
Is that Mackenzie original
hanging on my wall?
Damn! Look at that!
See? I'm gonna see that
every single day. Thank you.
Anyways I just want
to wish you a happy birthday.
I hope you had a good night,
hope you have a good day.
Yeah I'm gonna call you later.
Love you lots.
Bye!
Come on!
Give a tour for grandma.
Oh, I mean there's not really
much to tour, but, okay.
This is Jenna's side,
my roommate.
I met her earlier,
she seems pretty cool.
This is my side,
we got this comforter
at Bed Bath & Beyond on sale
which I'm very proud of.
Oh, my pictures.
I... I don't know
if I like them.
I tried to make collage but
I don't think it worked well,
but, uh, here's my desk and...
No, don't do that.
Keep it there
so you don't forget.
But grandma doesn't know.
Uh, Hey, Jenna.
What are you watching?
No! You're gonna laugh.
What? Why?
Because you watch scary
stuff all the time.
Just tell me
what you're watching.
Doctor Who.
Okay, oh, my God!
Stop, it's scary okay.
You don't... Wow!
Shit, what the heck?
Why is it scary?
Just stop videoing me,
Mackenzie.
- It's really not that bad.
- You're so rude.
- Oh, are you gonna cry?
- This is bad. Okay, bye.
Okay, so, just answer the questions
as naturally as you can, thank you.
Well, like, right now?
Well, yes right now,
it's due in ten minutes.
- Jenna, what are you...?
- What?
Okay, fine.
Well, I'd like to finish
my sandwich, but let's go.
Sorry.
Okay, what's your first
impression to people who meet you?
Um...
I think people think
I'm pretty standoffish,
but I don't think that's totally
accurate of me, um...
That's funny.
- I just look really tired sometimes.
- Right.
But, I think people think
I'm nice enough.
Okay. What sort of first
impression do you desire?
Desire.
With that I'm, hello, hi...
I just had to get your sandwich
and your outfit, sorry.
- Yeah, you said desire, um...
- Yes.
That I'm confident, I'd really
like people to think I'm confident
and that I'm a good friend
and that I care.
Hey Lucas, um,
I know you're sleeping because
I called you like three times
and you usually answer.
Your voicemail box
isn't set up yet
so I decided I just make
this little video.
Sorry.
Um...
I can't sleep.
I had a macchiato at eight
and didn't realize
it would still be in my system.
So...
I don't know,
just want to talk to you,
yeah.
It's hard sometimes.
Everything's fine,
but it's just,
it's hard sometimes.
And go!
Yeah, go team!
What are you on right now?
The bumper.
Yo!
Look, she's out of it.
Dude.
What do you think she took?
I can't even tell you,
she's leaving right now.
Check me out, bro.
Oh, don't touch her,
that's fucked up.
Watch bro, look.
Boom, bro!
Oxies, man.
This girl is on Venus
right now, man.
- Shit.
- That's crazy.
Guys, it is-30 in the afternoon.
My roommate is the heaviest
sleeper I've ever met.
This is unacceptable.
So, I'm gonna try something.
Watch.
Hey, girl!
What? I'm sorry.
Ah! You bitch!
Sorry, no, I'm not sorry.
Well, we did what we came here
to do, which is play hard,
take advantage
of every opportunity
the opposing team gave us
and, uh, for that, you know,
I'm proud of our team
and everything we accomplished
here today.
Parker, how did it feel competing
in your first tournament?
Well, I mean, this is
the first one with these boys
and, I don't know how it could
have felt better or worse
but now we got a title to defend
and I don't think any of us
take that lightly.
Thank you, thank you.
Do you like the decorations?
Um, yeah, they're just...
Oh, my gosh!
What! When did you get here?
You said you were in Vegas!
I know, I know,
I squeezed in a day.
- Mom, you knew?
- Surprise!
- Yeah. Ready.
- Okay.
Oh, no, that's not what...
Hey, Mac, you're bleeding.
- Hmm?
- You're bleeding.
Oh, I just must have busted
a scab, it's fine.
- Is that fresh? You said you were getting better.
- I am, stop.
So, I haven't really done
this in a while,
but, um,
it's been really hard
being back home.
Even harder
than I thought it would be.
Even see my friend Lucas
was hard,
because he's...
he's living the dream.
He's always done everything
right and I'm just like this...
major fuck up
and I don't...
I don't want to be like this,
but every day it's just, uh...
It's really hard...
hard to wake up.
It's hard to go to sleep.
And I want to be happy
because everybody else is happy
but I can't.
I can't...
Kenzie,
you have read receipts on.
Hey, I know you're getting
my texts.
I'm worried about you,
I don't know if you're being
serious, if you're joking,
but you're starting to scare
the shit out of me, okay?
So just please tell me
what's going on.
This isn't you.
So...
Lucas and I just got in this
fucking huge fight
and I don't have anyone to talk
about it with
because I don't have any friends
and I didn't realize that
until now.
He was just like begging me
to call him so I did
and then he just kept saying,
"This isn't you and you're
acting weird and stuff"
but he just doesn't get it.
This is who I am.
I'm the emotional fuck-up
that is flunking
her first semester in college
and I don't have any friends
because I'm a bad person.
I'm not a good friend I...
he just doesn't get it.
He doesn't know
the things that I thought,
he doesn't know.
He just doesn't know
how hard I'm trying
not to be just a fuck up.
He doesn't get it.
God, I look pathetic.
What's that?
I don't think
I can do this anymore.
Everyday it's just really awful.
And I'm just really tired
feeling this bad all the time.
It hurts so much
and nothing anybody says helps,
nothing I do helps.
It's just like there's
this hole in my chest
and it won't go away.
So, I just don't think
it's worth it anymore,
because I don't have a future
and I'm just like this big
burden on everybody that I love
and I know they're getting sick
of me because...
I keep fucking up.
But I'm trying.
I'm trying so hard,
but every day is just like
my own personal hell.
So mommy I'm... I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry, mommy.
I love you and I'm so sorry,
you've always been so good to me
even when I was being a bitch,
I'm sorry mommy.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
And Lucas,
thank you for being my friend
even when I didn't deserve it.
And I know you're gonna be
an amazing soccer player.
I'm already...
I'm already so proud
of you, okay?
I don't think I can do this
anymore...
God, I wish I wasn't doing this.
But I've already...
I've already taken
a lot of these, so...
I'm so sorry.
Are you ready?
Yep, I am.
Hey, Mac.
I'm making this video
so that you, uh,
you know you have something
when you wake up.
They won't let me be here.
I tried.
You're asleep right now.
You know, uh, when your mom
called me
and told me what happened
the first thing
that I thought about
was when we were kids
and we'd watch Scooby-Doo
over and over and over again
on repeat.
And then we started dressing up
like them to watch it.
Remember?
And you were always Daphne.
I was always Scooby,
and we'd just...
I care about you so much, Mac.
We all do.
You're like, you're like
this amazing light in our life.
You know, and the...
the idea of that light
just going out.
Mac, there's nothing
that you can ever do
that'll ever change the way
I feel about you.
I will always love you anyway,
always.
I'm gonna record again.
Is that still okay?
Yeah, sure.
How are you feeling
today, Mackenzie?
Um.
The withdraw is over,
so, better I guess.
I haven't been...
totally sober in a while.
I usually have a beer
or something
to take the edge off, you know.
How does it feel?
Not so great.
I just...
have a lot to think about.
Must be frightening.
Um...
I just keep thinking about...
my mom's face
when she found me.
It's blurry
but I still remember.
She was really scared.
I didn't want her to be scared,
I just wanted it to be over.
It?
No...
the way I was feeling.
I just wanted it to stop.
I guess that's why I took the oxies
in the first place and it worked.
It worked,
but then it stopped working.
Yeah, and...
I don't know, I guess...
life just seemed
pretty impossible without it.
Hey, sweetie.
I just got back
from grandma's funeral.
It was nice.
Simple, I guess.
A lot of people asked about you,
asked how you were doing,
so, I told them
you were doing better
but that seemed to confuse them,
so, I started trying to explain
and then I started crying
and they backed off,
which was nice, I guess.
You know, I didn't understand
at first
why you chose not to come
with me today,
because I really,
I really needed you there
with me more than anything.
But when I saw the casket
it just reminded me how close
I was to losing you too.
But, you, my girl,
you are a fighter.
You are so strong
and so beautiful.
And I know you might think
this whole thing has just made
you weak or ugly,
but that is so not true.
You have to believe me.
My mother wasn't always
there for me,
but I am always gonna be there
for you
and don't you forget that, Mac.
Not ever.
Um, so, I don't have phone
privileges in here.
So, Rhonda is helping me film.
Um...
I have depression and...
I got addicted to drugs
when I started using them
to manage my emotions.
But, I've been in rehab
for two months now
and I'm working through it.
When I was a kid I used
to play guitar all the time.
And at my lowest point
I sold it for drugs.
But I wrote a song
and I'd like you guys to hear it
and I hope it helps.
Take my hand
I promise it gets better,
just around the bend
Hear my voice
Don't let it get lost
in all your mental noise
Your road has been hard, but
the journey's not complete
You're worth fighting for,
and a person I'd like to meet
I'd like to meet you
I'd like to know
What you felt
at your lowest low
I'd like to meet you
And I'd like to know
What you felt
at your lowest low
Happy birthday, Lucas.
I get to call you later, but,
I just wanted you to know
that we're all here rooting
for you,
um, you have some new fans
by the way, but, uh,
it seems to me, sir,
you're moving a little slow.
I think that's you.
Gonna need to see
some more hustle.
All right,
I'll call you later, bye.
Hi, Lucas.
I stole your phone,
like the good old days.
I didn't go through your photos
or anything
but you should really
change your passcode,
you've had the same one
since like fifth grade.
Oh, a message from...
Katie.
Are you guys...
are you guys back together.
I mean, are you holding out
at me, Parker?
Oh, cause we're gonna talk
about this when you wake up,
if you ever do...
Okay, um, thanks, guys.
Uh...
I didn't think leaving rehab
would be bittersweet,
but, I guess I owe it to all
the amazing people here,
so...
Um, I know this hasn't been easy
for anyone,
especially my family,
and, when I got here
I wanted to stay alive for them,
but...
now I want to stay alive for me.
The world still scares me and...
I have no idea what my life
looks like three months from now
and that terrifies me,
but I want it
and that's something I honestly
couldn't have said three months ago.
I want to say thank you
to my mom
for being my rock
no matter what,
and just,
yeah, always being there.
Thank you
to all the amazing people here
that were determined
to get through to me,
especially Dr. Carter.
And, um,
I want to call out Lucas,
specifically,
because he flew all
the way out here
from Indianapolis,
even when I said
it wasn't a big deal.
Okay.
So, Lucas, you have always
been my best friend.
And...
you've always chosen to see me.
The real me.
Even when I couldn't
or didn't want to.
And, you made me laugh
through the tears
and hugged me when I really,
really needed it.
So, thanks for being
the best friend
a depressed girl could ask for.
- Daniel.
- All right.
So, it's just we're doing the C,
and then a B, into the E.
These are minor,
those two are minor.
- Are we picking, or...
- Do a little finger pick.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Okay.
Nice.
Aw... Shut up.
- Shut up!
- No, no, no!
You're nervous
because of the camera.
I found the key,
I found the key.
I don't know the key.
I found it, I found it again.
Thought you were supposed
to be a musician?
I'm nailing it.
Thought you were supposed
to be this really cool...
And maybe you are, a little bit.
- I found it, I found it!
- This whole time.
Sell yourself a little short.
Excuse me,
could you help me find a copy
of Ana Karenina?
Mom, what are you doing here?
I wanted to catch you
in your natural habitat.
Since when do you read classic
novels?
I read a lot, actually.
Okay, well, if you'll follow me
this way.
We have it here.
You know this is huge, right?
Like, do you even have time
to read this?
I'll find time.
- All right.
- Thank you.
What excellent service.
Well, you know, we try, we try,
so, please, please come back.
Boom, three hours post tattoo.
Time for the big reveal,
you ready?
Yep, here we go.
- Why are you going so slow?
- It hurts.
That hurt... you got a tattoo
and it's the tape that hurts?
- Yes.
- Just take... just rip it off.
- Shut up! Slow and steady.
- Go, go, go!
Damn.
Wow!
- What do you think?
- I really like it.
Well, good, you're stuck
with it forever now.
I'm stuck with it forever!
Lucas come here, come here!
Stop, okay.
- Okay, you have the ring?
- Yes, of course.
All right, you ready for this,
Parker?
- Yeah, you?
- Yeah.
Dan, thank you for doing this,
by the way.
Dude, it's an honor.
Oh!
Katie just got here.
You ready?
- It's game time!
- All right, go.
Ready, babe?
Yeah, uh, let's do this.
Katie, I love you.
Ever since I asked you out
three years ago to this day
I knew you were special.
I never knew how kind and smart
and insanely beautiful...
There's nothing that I want more than
spend the rest of my life with you
as soon as possible.
Katie...
- Will you marry me?
- Oh, God.
- Yeah?
- Yeah!
So cute!
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, it's beautiful!
What?
Guys, what?
It's so pretty, you did so good.
Oh...
Love you too.
Um, I have no idea
what I'm doing.
Okay.
That's the zoom,
you're doing right now,
that's the zoom and you can use
that if you want to,
everything else is on auto,
though.
- Okay, I got it.
- Get it, you ready? All right.
Day one of the road trip
and, uh, so far I think
Mackenzie has eaten
all the snacks.
No, I haven't, you liar.
I left you some carrots.
Carrots?
That's all we have left?
We are going to Dallas,
uh, from my band's show.
And where's your band, good sir?
They're in the other car.
And why is that?
Because I wanted to spend
some alone time with my girl.
Eyes on the road, cool guy.
It's a red light.
- Turn the camera off.
- Okay, look at me.
- Do you want some?
- Oh!
- Do you want some?
- No, no, thanks.
Okay, um...
Lucas, I FaceTimed you
like six times,
so, I guess you're pretty busy,
but, um...
I'm in Dallas with Daniel and...
you were right.
I really didn't want you
to be right, but, you were right
and I think this is all just
a bit too much for me
because some guy
just offered me coke
and it was really hard to say no
and I could have done it
but I didn't.
Daniel's still inside.
He's gonna kill me
when he finds out that I left.
Shit.
But, um, just... just call me
back when you can, okay?
Kenzie, Kenz!
Hey, what's up,
what are you doing?
Let me in, I just,
I just want to talk to you.
Are you fucking high right now?
No! God, no, of course not.
Daniel, you said
you wouldn't do anything
if I came with you.
Look, just,
just come inside, okay?
We're about to put...
- No, fuck this.
- We can talk about this.
Hey!
Hey, where the fuck?
You can't take my car, bitch!
Hello, world. Mackenzie here.
I just decided to make
this video because...
I didn't have it for me
when I was battling
my depression,
and um...
I just felt
that it was really important.
Today is the one-year
anniversary
of when I attempted suicide.
A lot has changed since then,
um...
but a lot is still the same.
Like I still have depression,
um...
some days are better
than others,
and um...
my future and who I want to be
in this world is still...
really fuzzy to me and
overwhelming for me to think about.
But, I want it.
Hi, everybody.
My name is Mackenzie
and this is my first time
performing.
This is dedicated
to my best friend Lucas,
wherever you are.
He knows
that I'm too competitive
to turn down a bet, so.
This one's for you Lucas.
I remember us so clearly
Like it was yesterday
Tonight, Northern Indiana
University's star soccer player
is in critical condition
after a deadly car crash.
Lucas Parker and his fiance,
Katie Hamilton,
were hit by a drunk driver
just before nine o'clock
at the intersection
of Shelbyville and Hurstbourne.
Parker was transported
to Baptist East Hospital
in critical condition.
The crash was caused
by an oncoming drunk driver
who died at the scene.
As they'll be forever
memories
There will always be
another day
Forever memories
This could be a higher way
Thank you, guys.
So, uh...
obviously I'm not Lucas,
even though this his Instagram.
As some of you probably
heard earlier, Lucas was...
in a car crash
and it's something to do
with his head or his brain.
It's... It's really bad.
So, we can really use your
thoughts and prayers, please.
As time goes by
I'll be waiting for you
As time goes by
I'll be dreaming for you
When you open your eyes
The sunrise will be here
for you
I'll be here for you
When you're sharing
your stories
My smile will look
right back at you
So please will you
Just open your eyes
The sun will shine bright
when you're with me
Just open your eyes
Can't go another night
to see you like this
Just open your eyes
The sun will shine bright
when you're with me
Just open your eyes
I can't go another night
to see you like this
But we'll get through this
Hey.
You're gonna have
a lot of these videos
when you wake up,
so, sorry not sorry.
I guess.
It's just really hard
not talking to you.
I know what it's like
to have to fight to stay alive.
To want to even,
and I know that you are Lucas,
but please, I need you
to fight harder
and I hope that somehow you know
that I'm fighting too.
Every day is so hard.
I want to reuse and I want
to slip back into old habits
but I'm not and I won't,
because, I'm going to be there
for you.
The same way you were for me.
Attempt number 200.
Whatever to get you to wake up.
Oh!
- Hey.
- Hey.
I just came to check on him
before I leave.
Yeah.
God,
it's so hard to look at him.
Oh, I mean his hair just needs
a little work, you know.
I don't know
how I'm gonna do this.
Katie, we're all just taking it
day by day.
No, Mac,
like...
I don't know if I can.
What do you mean?
It's just, like...
this is a lot.
All the time,
I'm all messed up too.
Katie, he's gonna wake up,
he's...
It was my fault.
What?
I ran the light.
It was yellow already
but I hit the gas.
I mean, we were running late
and I hate running...
The drunk hit us
but I put us there.
I mean, if we hadn't been going
so fast,
that...
it wouldn't have been
that he wouldn't...
- Katie...
- I'm sorry.
Shit!
Hey, everyone.
Just wanted to give you guys
a quick update.
Look who woke up!
Thank you guys for all your
notes and encouragement.
No, seriously,
like, you're the best.
He has some tests he has to go do,
so, we'll talk to you guys later.
Bye!
What are you doing?
I was just trying
to get you to wake up.
This is so stupid!
Physical therapy day one!
Parker! Parker! Parker!
He really likes the blanket
you made him, mom,
especially because it matches
the bear that Katie got him,
but I don't know
where that's at, but...
Oh...
Day 23.
Wait, Lucas,
where's your crutches.
It's no big deal, Mac.
Yes, it is, you're going
to hurt yourself, stop.
It doesn't matter, Mackenzie.
Lucas, listen to me.
I need to. Mackenzie, it's fine,
just put...
Lucas look what came in the...
Are you okay?
No...
My doctor told my coach that
I couldn't play next season,
so they cut me.
Lucas, I'm...
I'm sorry.
Is that your letter?
Yeah, but...
- Come on, pass me the camera.
- No.
Your mom always wants recordings
of this stuff.
We don't have to.
Alright, step one, go back.
- Here.
- Yeah, that's good.
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
I like that.
I got in.
Yeah, congrats.
Seriously.
Welcome home.
Where are you going?
I don't know.
I'm just kind of tired, Mac.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, that's fine.
Thanks for the poster,
it's cool.
Yeah, do you need anything?
No, I'll just take a nap.
Okay.
Good job, strong kicks.
Nice!
Okay, stop.
There you go, nice!
- Hi, here's the rest of your stuff.
- Thanks.
How is he?
He's doing okay.
See you around.
I'm glad,
you know, that, um,
you were there for him
during all this
when I couldn't be.
He's really lucky.
Well, he's...
he's my best friend, so...
We're gonna get it.
Lucas we're gonna get it,
we're gonna get it.
Still got a long way to go.
Yeah, but,
they're making a comeback.
Katie.
Hey...
Hey, Katie!
What are you doing here?
They, they cut me, but,
but you already knew that, huh?
I didn't know that.
Yeah, you did.
That's why you dumped me.
Because I couldn't play soccer
anymore.
That's not true and you know it.
As soon as things get tough,
Katie's out. Good-bye.
Jump ship.
You need to go.
I can't believe you dumped me.
You dumped
your crippled fianc...
You wanted to be over too.
No, no, no I didn't.
I remember the way
that you looked at me
in the hospital.
Every day,
like...
like it was all my fault.
Like I took away everything
that you ever...
How were we supposed to get married
when you looked at me like that.
No, that's bullshit. Bullshit.
So you can't reply to my texts,
but you can show up
to my house drunk?
That's bullshit, Lucas.
Um.
Hey, Lucas.
I've been...
thinking about this a lot
and it's really hard for me
to say,
but,
things are getting
out of control,
and, I've told you this before
but you didn't believe me
and you really should.
I couldn't even get you
to the couch this time
before you passed out.
Look, I know what it's like
to just hate everything.
To resent everything
and everyone.
I know what it's like
better than most people.
I know what you're going
through but it has to stop.
If not for you then for me.
It's not easy for me to be
around you
when you're so out of it
because it makes me
want to be out of it too.
God knows it feels great
to just check out
when things get bad,
but I can't do that anymore.
So,
consider this your wake-up call,
your intervention or whatever.
You can be so much more
than this, Lucas.
You are so much more than this.
Um...
so for now,
I'm not gonna come over.
I know it doesn't seem like it
but there...
is more to life
than Katie and soccer.
Your future looks different now but
that doesn't have to be a bad thing.
Alright.
Alright, Lucas.
You're gonna watch this
every single morning
and you're gonna remember
these three things.
One,
you gotta take it day by day,
alright, and every day, I mean, something's
just gonna get a little bit better.
Two,
enough with the booze, man,
it doesn't do shit.
And three, like,
you're doing this for yourself for the
man that you know that you are, but,
but you're doing it for Mac.
Because you love her
and you can't keep hurting her
like this.
Okay. Every day.
Happy birthday to you
Okay.
Mom, are you recording a video?
She always records,
you know that.
Mm-hmm.
You'll be thankful
for these videos one day, okay?
Trust me.
Actually, Mac.
While the camera is out.
Are you gonna open it?
"Best coach."
Yeah you're not too bad
with your kids
and with me.
I can still kick a soccer ball,
wait for it...
Whatever, God.
She won't even look up, watch.
Hey, Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac!
What?
What you doing?
What do you think I'm doing?
What are you doing?
Uh? Homework?
Come on, let's hustle,
let's hustle!
Yo, what time is it?
Alright.
Keep up the pace.
Wait, Lucas, what,
what was your career assessment?
- Okay, Mac, please no...
- Stop!
Vegas Entertainer.
- Wow! What would you even do?
- I don't even know, Mac.
You know what?
Oh, Magic Lucas.
Uh-huh.
I think thousands of people
will pay to come and see you.
I just wasted 30 minutes
of my life on this.
Vegas!
Guys! Come on!
You're gonna miss it.
Happy new year!
Lucas Parker.
What does this say?
What? "Mac I am writing this"
"from the plane." Is that plane?
Um, "I keep thinking about what"
something year old Lucas
would say,"
Oh 12-year-old Lucas would say.
Why,
why did we, the plastic?
Oh, why did we wait
till the last day.
I don't know why,
why did we wait.
Hey, Mac.
On my way to the library.
Bring my study on.
See what's up,
see what you're doing.
I had a walk, uh, I had to walk
through the soccer field today
and the whole team was there,
so.
It wasn't that great
but, but, hey, I gotta,
I got a kinesiology midterm
to study for, so.
Call me in like, what,
three hours.
I'll definitely need
to pick me up.
Bye.
So, my mom really misses you,
Lucas.
Yep.
All I do is sit in my room
all day listening to sad music.
It's pitiful, really.
Yeah, but, it's okay, because,
Mac bought me plane tickets.
Wait, what, I didn't...
Oh, my God, wait,
are you serious?
- Yeah.
- Wait a minute.
Are you...
Are you into this Parker?
What is happening?
I got to pack. Hold on.
How many are you taking?
I haven't taken one yet.
Hurry up. It's cold.
Did you take it?
- It might be a video.
- What?
Is there something you want
to remember about this, Parker?
Always.
Here.
What are you thinking about?
Thinking about how this feels
really great.
And how it feels really good
to feel right again.
Take my hand
Please don't worry about the
scars that you still hide
How are you feeling,
miss Parker?
I'm feeling pretty great,
Mr. Parker.
Mm-hmm. Good, because, uh, well,
I don't know if you know this,
but, we're married.
Oh! We're married!
Only 17 hours left to go.
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
Yeah, baby!
We're on our way to Florida.
Hey mama Schaffer.
We're in our new house.
Yeah, we are!
- How's that going?
- Are you mocking me?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, see? You have no clue
what you're doing!
Now what is an entrepreneur
doing up so late?
What do you think?
Well, I would definitely
go there
and I don't even play soccer
anymore.
So, happy?
Yeah, it's been a long time.
I'm excited.
Hey, little guy!
It's okay.
It's okay.
That's okay, that's okay.
Yeah, yeah, hi.
That's okay,
you're okay, you're okay.
How long you been out?
You kick like a pup
On the couch
Well, I'll keep
My voice down
I forgot
What I was festering about
It was something 'bout
A kick I'm on
Something 'bout
A kingdom come
It's something new
Every month
But I swear this one's it
No more boy
Who cried purpose
Who am I tryin'
To convince?
Somewhere I lost track
Somewhere
I lost track of it
How much time have I got?
You're the closest thing
To a break I've caught
Like a dry heaving cough
How much time
Do you think I've lost
Just staring
At a warehouse clock?
Move that barrel
Lift that box
Hell, man, it's a job
Don't you worry
Come next year
We'll be on our feet
I swear
Are these dreams
Or they prayers?
Somewhere I lost track
Somewhere I lost track
Somewhere I lost track
Somewhere I lost track
Talking in your sleep again
Said,
"We're in the home stretch"
I said under my breath
"You're all
I could've wanted"
Somewhere I lost track
Somewhere I lost track
Somewhere I lost track
Somewhere I lost track