Lucky Louie (2023) Movie Script

1
- Now!
Dewey! Make sure all the
instructions are loud and clear,
and see to it that you keep
an eye on those tellers,
and make sure that they do
what you tell them to do.
And have this ready
for when we blow.
- I'm clear on the plan.
- Louie, I want everyone
in that bank terrified
something's gonna happen.
Remember the cameras, and
try not to make a movie star
out of yourself.
- Yeah, yeah, I got it.
- Huey, just keep
this motor running,
and you better be there
when we get out.
Do you understand me?
- This ain't my first
rodeo, Uncle Donald.
- Just don't let
it be your last.
- This is a robbery!
- Uh! Wait! Oh!
- Anybody else wanna
do something stupid?
Girly-girl, out here on the
ground!
Now!
Okay, everybody on the ground,
and I want you to bury
your heads into your arms,
and close your eyes.
And do not trip the alarms,
or this will be the worse
day of your entire lives!
- Clear...You! Down!
Now!
You! Up! Up! Down!
- All right, you all heard him.
So, please get down on the
ground where I can see you!
- Move! Move! Vault! Vault!
- Hey!
It's gonna be okay.
We're gonna be outta here
in less than three minutes.
- Louie! Shut your mouth!
Don't talk to these people!
- Now, we don't have
to make this women cry.
- Dewey, Louie! Shut up!
Both of you. Uncle Donald!
- Hey, what she doing? Is
she reaching for the alarm?
- Are you trying to
ring that alarm, lady?
- No, I wasn't! I swear!
- If you're lying to me, I'm
gonna do something crazy.
- I'm not lying! Please!
I'm pregnant.
- I don't care!
- She's pregnant, man!
Just lay off!
- Back off, we're
almost outta here.
Just keep your heads
down, and your eyes shut!
Or, you'll all regret
what happens next.
- Lord, please deliver us
safely from these angry men.
- Hey, girl! Shut up!
- You're all good and powerful,
I know you'll protect us!
Put this behind us as
quickly as you can.
- Kid, I'm not kidding!
- Back off, Dewey!
- I'll take you both out!
- Dewey! Bag!
We're ready to blow!
- Louie, you idiot!
You missed the manager!
I'll kill you dude, hear me?
You'll pay for
pulling that alarm,
if it's the last
thing that I do!
- If you're gonna shoot
him, then shoot him.
But we gotta go! Now!
- Blow it!
- Huey just better be out there!
- Okay! Don't cry!
- Uncle Donald went
out the back door!
- This ain't your
lucky day, Louie!
- You gotta be kidding me?
Don't stop!
Why'd you stop?
- I'm not a murderer.
- No. You're a moron.
- Don't take all the money!
You jerk!
- You went under the car!
- Don't move, or I'll
blow your head off!
- Oh!
- I'm so sorry, guys.
I completely forgot
it was Wednesday.
I couldn't remember if
I put the decaf on.
- That's what I'm talking
about, I needed today.
- Put it right in there, buddy.
- Unlike these old
fogies, Barney,
I will have myself some
honest-to-God American coffee.
- Okay. Would you like
that in a kiddie cup?
- Hey Pete, you don't look
good, are you all right?
- Just tired. Beth got
called into work last night.
That accident on the turnpike.
- Yeah, I saw that on the
news, that looked bad.
- It's just like, I can't
sleep when she's not there.
- I know, but it said in the
paper that everybody lived.
No doubt thanks to her, right?
- Oh no, she's good at her job.
But she was just falling asleep,
as I'm getting up to come here.
And then, I'm creeping
around my own house
like a cat burglar.
Like the good 'ole days.
- Like the good 'ole days, huh?
- I'm gonna get blueberry
pie, what are you gonna get?
- I'm gonna get
the vanilla cake.
- How was everything?
- Oh, it was so good.
- Great, great.
- Um...is he coming today, or?
- Um, yeah, I think so,
I don't know where he is.
- Oh, well, I'll just
keep it warm for him.
- All right, good idea.
- While we're waiting,
anybody wanna see a new trick?
- Oh, Peyton, you always
call it a new trick.
But back me up on this, it's
usually the same old trick,
with new words.
- That would be called
"Patter," the correct term.
Patter.
- Oh, patter.
Oh, it's called patter?
- Yes.
- I wanna see a trick.
- Disappear!
- Disappear!
- You know, you weasels
aren't gonna be laughing
when I'm headlining in Vegas.
- Oh, give me a break.
With your record,
they wouldn't let you buy
a lottery ticket in Vegas.
- Here he is.
- Hey guys, wait a
minute. Look! Look! Look!
He had the dream.
- Look! He's having the dream!
- Do something!
- Quick, quick, quick!
- Okay, anything.
- Here, boom, boom,
little homage.
- The amazing Kreskin.
- I had the dream. Again.
- Oh, hey, Wilbert.
Peyton's kind of in the
middle of a magic trick.
- It just puts me
in the worse mood.
- Yeah, I think you
mentioned that before.
- Peyton, it was
so real this time.
- No kidding.
I'm kind of in the middle
of a minor miracle here.
Your card...No, I
believe your card,
correct me if I'm wrong,
but I believe your card
is the queen of diamonds.
- Surprise!
- It's no surprise here.
The same dumb dream
I always have.
Let me tell you guys about it.
- Oh, please! Come on!
- Okay, here we go. One
bowl of hot oatmeal.
- Barney, I'm glad you're here.
The rest of my Bible
study doesn't care
about my never-ending nightmare,
or how it upsets me to no end.
But, you are a true friend.
- Aw.
- Pull up a chair, I wanna
tell you about the dream.
- Oh, Wilbert, I'd love
to hear you talk about
your bank robbery
nightmare, again.
But, I got something
burning in the kitchen.
- I don't smell anything.
- Yeah, neither do I.
You need some
ketchup for that oatmeal?
- Ketchup.
Wait!
You know,
if I didn't know better,
I'd think you guys
were trying to avoid
talking about my dream.
- It's just that you tell
us about it all the time.
And it never changes.
And nothing gets resolved.
- You're retired. Why is this
case so important to you?
- You'll understand when you
get closer to your final glory.
You regret everything
that you haven't finished.
- What is there to
finish, Wilbert?
The statute of limitations
ran out on this
like 50 years ago.
Even if you could solve it,
you can't put anybody
in jail for it.
It's not gonna mean
anything to anybody but you.
- You gotta ease up
on yourself, man.
I've never been in bank robbery,
but I assume the bank would
of gotten their money back
from the insurance, right?
- Yeah, like the very next week.
And you, yourself, even told
us on multiple occasions
that insurance company
went out of business.
- Yes, that's correct.
Back in the 1980s.
- So, even if you
found the money,
there's nobody that
you can return it to.
- There's a lot of good
you can do with $350,000.
- You could buy a whole lot
of bibles, that's for sure.
- That's right, Pete.
And speaking of bibles,
why don't we begin?
- All righty.
- Well, that was some
good discussion today.
Next Wednesday
good for everyone?
- Hey, I'm gonna have to
duck out a little early.
We had an early game,
and I gotta get those
boys on the bus by 10.
- Hey, they're looking
good this year.
Your next home
game, let me know.
- Hey, you bet.
- Yeah, we'll tailgate, right?
- Yeah.
- That'll be good.
All right, tell your
mom to call me.
- Yeah, see you-
- Hey, look, if
you're still upset,
I can push my first yard off,
we can go back in there and
have another cup of coffee.
- Oh, that's sweet,
but I gotta go.
You know my lady friends
are expecting me.
When things start heating
up, they need the big guy!
- Okay, big guy, go get
'em. Okay, take it easy.
- Hitch, Hitch! Wilbert
forgot his Bible again.
- Oh! This guy's killing me.
I know where he's going,
I'll take it after work.
I'll see you soon.
- Hello, ladies! Am I late?
- Perfect timing!
- Well, if that's the
case, let me at 'em!
- Come on in!
Oh, I love this guy!
- Oh my God!
- Smells so good!
- Oh, does it!
- I'm ready!
- You're in for a
rough one today.
- Shoofly pie!
- Lots of molasses!
- You just sit your
pretty little selves down,
and enjoy a hot beverage.
And let the Sultan
of Soap handle this.
"You tell us about it all the
time..."
"You're retired..."
"You gotta ease up
on yourself..."
"Even if you could solve it,
"you can't put anybody
in jail for it..."
- Wilbert!
- Hello!
- Good-bye, Wilbert.
- Good bye, Buela.
- See you, Wilbert.
- Ethel, Esther.
- Good bye.
- Sara, thanks for the pie,
terrific, just well done.
- Oh, it smells great in here.
- Thanks, we're all
cleaned up, Pastor.
I'll see you Sunday.
- Okay.
- Pastor Mimi, Oh, can
I get you some pie?
- No, thank you. You
have a visitor.
Hello? We're here.
- Oh, sorry. This is
a really great church.
Hey, Wilbert?
- Hitch?
Everything okay?
- Yeah, you forgot
your Bible again.
- Oh, boy. Not myself today.
I better pull it together.
I'm reffing a basketball game
at the boys and girls club.
- Today?
- Yeah, at three.
- But, dude, it's
nearly three o'clock.
- Oh, good grief, I gotta go.
Hitch, thanks for going so far
out of your way on my behalf.
Pastor, I'll see you Sunday.
- Talk about no
rest for the weary.
- Yeah, tell me about it.
- Would you like to
see the sanctuary?
- Oh yeah, sure.
- Wow. It really is beautiful
in here, it's very calm.
- Your friend thinks so, too.
- Oh yeah, I bet he does.
Only, there ain't nothing
calming about that guy.
He's got more energy
than the rest of us.
- He has a big, giving heart.
No doubt about it.
Lots of special projects.
- Like me.
And my buddies.
- Is that right?
- Yeah.
Well, I hope he told you.
You know, we're ex-cons.
- He did mention that.
- Yeah. All of us and
our little crew.
Me, Pete, Peyton, Lincoln.
Wilbert arrested all of us.
Well, he didn't...
He didn't arrest
Lincoln, he didn't.
Lincoln got pinched years
after Willie retired.
But, he's my nephew, and
he needed some guidance.
And so, we invited
him into the group.
- I'm kind of lost here.
How did that happen?
He arrested you?
- But yeah. Oh no,
but Wilbert, I mean,
he, he legitimately arrested me.
And no offense to
him, but I mean,
I wasn't really a
master criminal.
I don't think I was cut
out for a life of crime.
I got pinched fencing
stolen merchandise.
And I mean, like I had
the stolen merchandise,
and I had the money.
So, I'm going to jail.
And Wilbert, he reads me
my Miranda rights, okay?
And then he pulls
out a little Bible.
He reads me this passage.
"I tell you, there will
be more joy in heaven
"over one sinner who repents,
"than 99 righteous persons
who need no repentance."
- Luke:15:7.
- Yeah.
Only, I didn't know
any of that yet.
I had yet to be
introduced to Luke,
or any of the other guys.
So he puts me in back
of the cruiser car.
And then he starts telling me
about how things really work.
Like he really
explains it to me.
How God has a plan
for all of us.
And he tells me
if I wanna repent
and stay on the
straight and narrow,
he would be there for me,
every step of the way.
- And he was.
- Boy, was he.
In prison, he sent
me toothpaste.
Bible study pamphlets.
And then, he spoke so
eloquently at my parole hearing,
that they let me out
of jail two days later.
And when I started my business,
he was my very first customer.
And the same thing held
true for Pete, Peyton.
He arrested them, the
same Bible verse.
Same follow-through.
And, your nephew?
- Lincoln.
Lincoln is one of those kids,
you probably got them
around the church here.
You know, he's too smart
for his own good, you know?
But he actually figured,
as far as I know,
a new way to steal.
He was hacking into the
computers of a car dealership,
so they would not notice that
he was depleting their stock.
- Ho, ho, ho, that's not good!
- No, not good at all.
Broke my sister's heart.
But, you know what we did?
We sent him the closer.
He saved one more soul.
- Willie definitely has a gift.
You know, I bet his conversion
numbers are better than mine.
- You know, I'm not
gonna take that bet.
Because I think ,
I think you're right.
I think you're right.
- Detective Wilbert Moser?
- Not any more.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- I'm retired.
Nearly 15 years.
If this is a police
matter, I can't help you.
- Well, yes and no.
I'm Alex D'Ambrosio, I'm a
graduate student at Bucknell.
I'm a forensic psychology major.
- I'm delighted to meet
you Miss D'Ambrosio.
But, it's been a very long day.
And my cat is waiting to eat.
- Of course, I understand.
But just another moment
of your time, sir?
- I was assigned the
Merchant Bank robbery
for my thesis project.
And I was just wondering
if I could ask you
a few questions, if
that's all right?
- I do wish I could help you.
But that was so very long ago.
I'm sorry you came all
this way for nothing.
- But, the detectives
downtown said
that you're obsessed
with this case.
Detective Graham and Clay.
- They're right. I was obsessed.
Sometimes too much so.
Sometimes it's just
hard to let things go.
But I decided
just today
over a nice warm piece
of shoofly pie.
Enough is enough.
- Today you decided?
- Yes.
I'm so sorry.
- Well, I'm at the Hotel
Bethlehem if you change your
mind.
Did you say shoofly pie?
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
At least you listen to me when
I tell you about my dreams.
Yeah.
You think you're
funny, don't you?
- Down there!
- You see him?
- I think I hear him.
- Just be careful, all right?
- There he is.
- Hank!
Oh, you must be so hungry.
- Second floor, right down
there, follow the line.
- Here's your regular.
And if you need anything,
just let me know, okay?
- 2Timothy:3:16-17,
"He's here to remind us,
"that this is a how-to book."
- That's right.
This is the direction.
- Good morning.
- Oh, Miss D'Ambrosio,
What a surprise to see you here.
Oh, gentlemen, this young
lady hopes to one day,
be an officer of the law.
- Hm? Is that correct?
- I hope so, yes.
- And how did you find me here?
- Well, I could tell you that
I've been brushing up on
my surveillance skills
and tailing people.
But mostly I found this
when I was doing my laundry.
So, I thought I'd stop
by, and say hello.
And I don't know, maybe talk
about the Donald Duck case.
- Well, we are in the
middle of something.
- C'mon, Wilbert, we were
just finishing up, anyway.
You mind if I use this?
- Help yourself.
- Would you like to sit down?
- Thank you.
- I can take your bag.
- Well,
it does say "All are welcomed."
Let me introduce you
to Peyton, and Pete,
Hitch-
- Hi, how are you?
- And this is Barney,
who owns the place.
- Let me get you a menu.
- Oh, no thank you.
But, maybe some coffee, please.
- Sure.
- Thanks.
- And this suddenly well
-mannered young man, is Lincoln.
And would you excuse me,
my turn to pay the check.
- Thanks, Wilbert.
Hey, so, you wanna be a cop?
- I do.
How do you all know Mr. Moser?
- We're criminals.
- All of you?
- Yeah. I'm afraid so.
- We were criminals.
But we're no longer criminals.
We've been out of jail
longer than we were ever in.
- And, Mr. Moser, he made sure
we all got a second chance.
- And we all took it.
- And you?
- Me?
Um, uh, it was nothing really.
I was just messing
around on my computer,
some minor hacking.
That is my uncle over there.
And I'm assuming he's
clearing his throat,
because he thinks I
should tell you that
the hacking may have led to
a teeny, weensy, little case
of grand theft auto.
- Five cases.
- Okay, five.
But who's counting?
- The D.A. was.
- Here's your coffee.
- Oh.
- Let me know if I can
get you anything else.
- Thank you.
- Hey, why are you
interested in this robbery?
- I was assigned the case for
my graduate thesis project.
And I came down last week
to speak to Mr. Moser.
- He must of talked
your ear off.
- No actually,
he said he didn't wanna
talk about it any more.
- What?
- Wait! What?
- This shocks all of you?
- They have that look,
because I've mentioned
that robbery once or twice,
and they're surprised that
I don't wanna talk
about it any more.
- Once or twice an hour-
- The last 20 years.
- Anyway, I made the
decision to let it go.
And Alex here, just happened
to pop up at the wrong time.
- Or the right time.
- I heard that God's
timing is always perfect.
- Thank you!
- Okay there you go.
- Thanks, nice!
- Did everybody get
what they wanted?
- I wanted rainbow sprinkles.
- Dude, it was only two
minutes ago she told you
they were out of
rainbow sprinkles,
so she gave you chocolate
sprinkles instead.
- It's a complete
different flavor.
- Other than Peyton's
rainbow sprinkles debacle,
did everybody get
what they want.
- Yes!
- Now you have to
understand that
the world was different in 1972.
There was hardly any crime,
no violent crime at all.
Everybody felt safe and secure.
Now, any comments or
questions so far?
Not about sprinkles.
- Yeah, why did they call it
the Donald Duck robbery, again?
- So all the reporters
started calling it that,
almost immediately, because
the witnesses overheard
the robbers refer to each
other as Huey, Dewey,
Louie, and Uncle Donald.
- I still don't understand.
- Oh, to be young again!
In the "Donald Duck" cartoon,
you do know who Donald
Duck is, right?
- I guess so.
- Well, he had three nephews.
Huey, Louie, and Dewey.
So, during the robbery
one man appeared to be
sort of the mastermind
of the group.
And he was referred to by
one of the robbers
as Uncle Donald.
- Couldn't they had figured
out better nicknames than that?
- You just don't understand,
it's 1972, right?
And the world just got
color television.
And there's only three channels.
And everybody on the planet
waited all week long for the
"Wonderful World of Disney."
- "World of Disney." Okay?
- And if there was a
"Donald Duck" cartoon,
we were overjoyed,
because it was better than
watching one more stupid
show about otters.
- I like otters.
- So, what happened next?
- Well, the alarm's
still ringing,
and Huey and Dewey are
already in the getaway car.
Louie runs out of the bank,
and before he can even
get into the car,
a witness from across
the street, Bob Fleck,
overhears Dewey yell "This
ain't your lucky day, Louie!"
Then the car sped
off, and heads west.
- Now I get it, that's why
they called it "Lucky Louie."
- Something just occurred to me.
They changed the plan in
the middle of the robbery.
- Well, Hitch, that's a
very interesting statement.
Why do you think that?
- Well because Louie
was apparently surprised
that Uncle Donald went
out the back door.
- Yes. How do you know
he was surprised?
- If it was part of the plan,
it would of been no
reason to mention it here.
- Louie thought he was
getting in that getaway car.
- Right.
- Yes.
Why?
- Well, he could of
followed Uncle Donald
at the back door, right?
But he didn't.
He came out the front door, he
thought he was getting away.
- All the college, all the
classes, all the exams you take,
will never give you the
insight that these good men,
who happen to be
ex-criminals will have.
- Just a minute.
I just figured something out.
So you hang out with us,
so we can solve your cases.
- I'd like to plead
the fifth on that.
- So I think you'd wanna do
the same thing this year.
It'd be like 20 poinsettias
on, or near the alter.
For each entrance, I think
three by the baptismal fountain.
Maybe we should just buy 30.
- All that will be fine.
- What?
- Willie, I can't
believe you brought me
all the way out here to talk
about Christmas decorations,
when I haven't even bought
the Halloween candy yet.
- You know, maybe you
should of been a cop.
You're very good
at reading people.
- So?
What's on your mind, big guy?
- It's about the robbery.
- Of course it is.
- See? Right there? That's
actually what I'm talking about.
It never occurred to me
how obsessed I must of seemed
sometimes, until lately.
When everybody has been kind
of making fun of me about it.
- I don't think they're
being cruel about it,
though, are they?
- Of course not, not at all.
I think I'm getting sensitive
just because I'm getting
old and crabby.
- Old maybe. Crabby, never.
- So you see, I decided I
finally had to put it behind me.
And I committed
myself to it, fully.
I decided if I stopped
obsessing about it so much,
maybe the dreams would stop.
And then, this lovely
grad student shows up
out of no where,
and wants me to help
her figure it out.
It's just causing me anxiety
that I didn't anticipate.
- Why?
- Miriam, that's
why you're here.
So I can ask you why.
If I knew why, I would have
no need for pastoral guidance.
- Oh, give me a break!
You know so much more about
this stuff than I ever will.
Willie, you've done so much
for people, you still do.
Where have you been
hiding that guy, Hitch?
- Oh, Hitch is a
great guy, isn't he?
- Yeah.
- But you have no obligation
to help this girl.
Especially if it means
you're doing something
that you don't wanna do.
I'm sure she'll understand.
- Oh, I know you.
And I know there's an
"On the other hand,"
lurking in there somewhere.
- On the other hand, maybe
working with this girl
might help you put
this behind you.
I mean, really behind you.
Once and for all.
And you can finally sleep.
- Miss D'Ambrosio?
- Miss D'Ambrosio?
- Mr. Moser? Hi!
It's so good to see you.
Hold on, sorry.
I just...Here, please, sit.
- No, that's all right.
I owe you an apology.
And to be honest,
I didn't know what to
make of you when we met.
- No, I'm sorry, I probably
came across way too strong.
I really owe you an apology.
- Not at all.
You're a very
impressive young lady.
I was wondering if you
might have some time
for another field trip?
And funny being back here.
Some things never change.
Right after I retired,
I kept coming by
two or three times a week.
- Maybe out of habit.
- Yeah, habit.
Or duty...Duty to what?
I don't know.
Oh! Vicky!
- Wilbert!
- Vicky, hi!
- Hi!
- Carmen, nice to see you.
- Nice to see you!
- You think the department
would wanna take full advantage
of a resource like you.
- Hey, don't fool yourself.
Cops don't like a retired
cop hanging around.
- Where's that number?
- Oh boy, here's trouble.
- I told you see
was gonna get him.
And look, she's got him!
How you doing, Detective Moser?
- I'm well, gentlemen.
And I see that you've
already met Miss D'Ambrosio.
- We have.
And imagine our surprise
when she told us
you were giving up
on Donald Duck.
- Momentary lapse in judgment.
But now, we are
back on the case.
- What do you need?
- I was wondering if we
could show Miss D'Ambrosio
the original case file?
And that is, of course, as
long as we don't compromise
an ongoing investigation.
- I think we can give you that.
Considering there hasn't been
an ongoing investigation
since 1977?
- Not counting yours, of course.
I'm gonna gonna leave you in
Detective Graham's
capable hands.
In the meantime, I'm gonna
try to solve some crimes
that happened after we
landed on the moon.
I'm just being a jerk,
because that's what I do.
Honestly we revere this man.
Nobody has solved more
cold cases than this guy.
- Except the one I
wanted to solve the most.
- Oh, give me a break.
You're gonna learn a lot.
- Mm, I already have.
- Okay, I'm gonna head
down to the land of nod.
See if I can dig up that
old case file of yours.
What was the name of it, again?
I'm just kidding. Make
yourselves at home.
- Thank you.
Hm, they're fun.
- And don't let the
wisecracks fool you.
They're the best of the best.
Oh, and that reminds me.
You have an invitation
this Sunday
to a barbecue at Pete's house.
And believe me, you're
gonna wanna come,
because his wife Beth,
is not only our crack
emergency room surgeon,
but she's one of the
best cooks in the county.
And I have written all the
instructions and directions
on how to get there,
and the time-
- No.
- On the back of my card.
Why you laughing?
- Lincoln actually already
stopped by the hotel,
and he gave me an
invitation to the barbecue.
- No surprise there.
- Oh hey! Thomas, can
you grab the door?
- Yeah, sure.
- Thanks, hon.
- Your welcome.
- Oh!
- Thank you, Tommy.
- Oh!
- Hello, hello!
Desert has arrived.
- That looks amazing, Barney.
People are gonna be so happy.
- Ah, just something
I threw together.
What can I do to help?
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Today, we wait on you. Go.
The boys are out back,
give Pete your order.
- Okay.
- You're the guest.
- Okay.
- Hey! Mom?
- What?
- Oh, where are
the paper plates?
- Um, they're right
there on the counter.
- Do you smell vanilla?
- Oh? Hm? I don't know
where that came from.
- One of life's great mysteries.
- Burgers and dogs ready.
Let me know what you want,
and I will bring it to you.
You guys okay? All right.
How you doing, buddy?
Everything's good?
- I recently performed this
trick for the Queen of England.
- Thanks, Pete.
- At least she said she
was the Queen of England.
One, two...,
three!
Thank you, thank you.
- Pay attention to him!
- He's good.
- You're amazing!
- Barney, you have
outdone yourself.
- Hello, hello,
hello, everybody.
- There he is.
- I'm sorry I'm late.
My date had a little
Sunday morning business.
Where is she?
- She's coming, she's
getting me a soda.
- I hope we like her.
- Oh I'm...I'm really confident
you're gonna like her.
- Cream soda, right?
- Thank you very much.
- Okay, here, please-
- Hello, everyone. I'm Mimi.
Hi, Willie.
- My worlds are colliding...
And I love it.
- See, I'm so glad we talked
you guys into staying later.
- Mm, nothing like a nice
fire on a fall night.
- It's so comforting.
- Oh boy,
here comes trouble.
- So Wilbert, Pete
was telling me
that Alex has been helping
you with that robbery.
How's it going?
- Oh, pretty good, I think.
But, she's running out of time.
Her thesis has to be
finished pretty soon.
- But, we have a
new plan for that.
- Which is?
- We all help.
- I like that.
Wait! How?
- Well honestly, I really
could use some help
with the interviews.
- Hold on, wait a
minute, wait a minute.
You're joking, right? That
was like 50 years ago.
I mean, they're all
dead, aren't they?
- Dear Lord, I hope not.
- I think some of them might
not be that hard to find.
- Hold on a sec, is Mimi short
for Miriam, by any chance?
- It is.
- As in, uh...Miriam
Dunn? The praying girl?
- Guilty as charged, officer.
- Oh!
- Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, hold on, wait a minute.
This guy has been talking
about this robbery
for as long as I've known him.
And you're telling me,
you...you were there?
Okay, now my worlds
are colliding.
- Oh, the Pastor was one of
the first people I talked to
when I re-opened the case.
Nearly 35 years ago, right?
- Mm-hm.
- Well, if we're gonna
interview people,
how about I interview you?
- Maybe I should
interrogate you.
- I'm a hostile witness
here, your honor.
- Alex, I would be
honored to work with you.
Hey, we all would be
honored to work with you.
- Count me in.
- Me too.
- Sounds good, let's do it.
- So, this is Dewey,
right?
- Yeah, Roger
Parkinson. Not a pleasant man.
- Just wait right here.
- Hey, you got it,
or don't you got it?
- Yeah, your
block, okay, okay.
- How are you doing?
- Well, I'd be honest with you.
I'd never figured I'd end up
in a place like this again.
But I was not gonna
let you come alone.
- Okay, come on.
- We're coming.
Here, be careful.
- Let's go,
Parkinson, be sociable.
- Who are you, and
what's this about?
- My name is Alex D'Ambrosio,
and I'm a forensic
psychology major.
I'm writing my thesis on
the Merchant Bank Robbery.
- Okay.
Who are you?
- I'm Hitch, I'm her
research assistant.
- I said all I'm gonna say
about that bank robbery.
Read about it in the
court transcripts.
- I have read the
transcripts, many times.
But I still have
a few questions,
if that's all right with you.
- I told you, I'm not
talking about it.
- Hey, I wonder if you
might know a friend of mine?
- I hardly doubt it.
- Anthony Carboni?
- Yeah Carboni's in here.
- Yeah, he still talking about
going to Sicily all the time?
- Yeah, he never
shuts up about it.
The guy's pushing 80 years old,
and he just pulled
another 20 years.
The closest he's
gonna get to Sicily
is a can of Spaghetti-O's.
How do you know him?
- Ah, well, he was my, uh...
He was my cellmate
about 30 years ago.
- You on the straight
and narrow now?
- By the grace of God.
- Hm?
- So, what's so important
about this stupid bank job?
- Stupid, because
it didn't work out?
Or stupid, because
you were caught?
- No, it's stupid
because it went foobar.
- What is foobar?
Oh, okay. How did that happen?
- Uncle Donald pulled
a fast one on us.
And guess who got
caught holding the bag?
- Well, some people think
that you were responsible,
but that you hid the money
before you were caught.
- I don't care
what people think.
I'm telling you, I had
a bag, all right.
But it wasn't filled with money,
it was filled with magazines.
- But you thought there
was money in it.
- Of course.
- And you would of kept it,
if you hadn't been caught.
- Why do you think
I'm in this place?
A place where I've spent
three-quarters of my life?
Look at me. Do I look like
an honorable citizen to you?
Uncle Donald changed the plan.
So I changed the plan.
When he didn't come out that
door when he was supposed,
why should I wait for him?
- And, Louie?
- Louie!
Louie was a moron.
And if I ever catch him,
or find out who he is,
he's gonna regret it.
- You'd harm him?
- Happily!
An operation like this
takes precise timing.
And the 15 seconds
that he cost us,
could be the 15 seconds that
put me in a place like this.
So yeah, if I had my way,
he'd pay for what he did.
- You never gave up the name
of Uncle Donald, why is that?
- I didn't know his name.
- How is that possible?
- He used a triple rat hole
to hire me, that's how.
- I'm sorry, a triple what?
- Triple rat hole.
Explain it to her.
- All right, so look,
somebody wants to run a job.
They don't want people
to know who they are
for obvious reasons.
So they can hire
an intermediary.
Somebody who hires
the crew, right?
And that guy is paid in
advance for that service.
And that way, if
somebody gets caught,
nobody knows who the
real boss is, okay?
That's one rat hole.
What Roger her is
saying is that,
Uncle Donald, he used
three rat holes.
Which means that Roger
would have to rat on
the guy above him,
who would have to rat
out the guy above him.
Who would be the guy that
would rat out Uncle Donald.
And the chances of something
like that happening
in this kind of world
are slim-to-none.
- Good night, no rat.
- Fascinating.
- And I got down on the ground.
And I was trying to check
my surroundings out,
just to sort of try to
see what was going on.
You know, what were
they trying to achieve?
And it just seemed very chaotic.
And I just didn't know
what was gonna happen next.
- So what do you remember
about the robbery?
- Well not much, I was
knocked to the ground,
and kind of semi-conscious
at the time.
- You hear 'em call any names?
- Well, I did hear
them say a few names.
But they were cartoon
character names.
Huey, Dewey, Louie.
- It was, I'd have to say, it
was a miracle, the first one.
And I wouldn't be
here, otherwise.
I just simply wouldn't
be here at all.
- If you, did you
reach for the alarm,
or not?
- Oh no. No, no.
Never, I wouldn't take
that kind of chance.
No, I was carrying my
boy, I was pregnant.
And I wouldn't do
anything to endanger him.
- I was parking cars
to make some money
to take my girlfriend to
Shankweiler's Drive-in.
And the alarm went
off in the bank.
And there was all
this commotion.
But I did hear somebody yell,
"This ain't your
lucky day, Louie!"
And you're sure that's
what he said exactly?
"This ain't your lucky day,
Louie!" I'll never forget it.
- He did all he could, all
he felt he needed to do,
to take care of us.
We had four children.
He was a good daddy,
he was just a wonderful man.
He may have done some wrong.
But he was trying to do good.
- So who's this again?
- For the third
time, this is Arthur Tiller,
the bank manager.
The guy they threatened to kill.
- Wilbert said the
last time he interviewed him,
he was very odd. So please,
just, everybody be careful.
- Wow, wow, wow, wow.
- Now, let's try to finish
this up before nighttime.
Because if I had to guess,
I'd say somewhere nearby
there is a killer
wearing a hockey mask
waiting patiently
for it to get dark.
- You sure this is right?
- Well, I mean, it's
his last known address,
as far as I could find.
- I don't know, I don't like
the looks of this place.
- Let's do this.
- Okay, I guess
we're going anyway.
- Alex, Lincoln!
- Hello?
You know, we can see you.
- I don't know nothing
about those cherries!
Mulroney!
He owns a farm two roads over,
it's got a fruit stand in front.
He said he saw me take some of
his cherries, but he's lying!
Because I never took any
of his stupid cherries!
- So you're saying
you didn't take Mr.
Mulroney's cherries?
- No! I didn't!
Anyway, they tasted awful!
He picked them too
soon, the moron!
- Mr. Tiller, we're not here
to talk about the cherries.
- What are you
bothering me for then?
- We wanted to talk to you about
that Merchant's Bank
robbery back in 1972.
- Um, Mr. Tiller, I'm very
sorry if we've upset you.
- Upset me!
How could coming out here,
now only 50 years later,
not upset me?
That was the worse day of
my life, I'll tell you that!
I was gone from the
bank the very next week.
- Oh, they fired you?
- No! Don't be dumb.
They don't fire you for
something like that.
- I'm sorry, you
gotta excuse him.
He doesn't understand,
he doesn't understand what
you went through that day.
- It was awful, let me tell you.
That man, he threatened me.
He put a gun to the
top of my head.
Said he was gonna get me.
I haven't had a good
night's sleep since 1972.
- It is completely
understandable
that you don't wanna relive
what happened to you that day.
Maybe you have some
records or files here
that we could look through,
that could help solve the case?
- I want you all to
get off my land.
- I see we've upset you again.
- You didn't upset me!
That robbery did!
That was the worse day of
my life, I'll tell you that.
Big plans, that they
changed everything.
All of a sudden things
didn't turn out the way
I thought they would.
So, I don't feel like
talking about it any more.
Not with you! Not with anybody!
So get out of here!
- Okay.
- Well, wait here. I
got my telephone number,
if you think of anything else.
- I'm not gonna think
of anything else!
'Cause I'm not gonna
think about it at all!
Now, get out of here!
- Okay.
- You tell Mulroney,
he better stop talking
about those cherries!
Or, he's gonna get
what's coming to him!
- Ah, it's nice and
relaxed. Such a crazy week.
- I know, I mean,
it's no wonder they
never solved this case.
There's just so many
odd characters.
- Yeah but, it's really great
how you handled
that guy yesterday.
Very impressive how
you switched gears.
- Thank you. But
forensic psychology
is supposed to teach
you how people think.
I mean, not just to
catch criminals.
I mean, obviously that's
a big part of it.
But when you know
how someone things,
it's easier to communicate
with them on their own terms.
Which means, you just
get more information.
- Is that what you're
doing right now? With me?
Trying to figure me out?
- I bet I could do a whole
casebook just on you, Lincoln.
Do you wanna know something?
- Yes, I do.
- So, one of my class
directives is to write
a full personality report
on every significant
person that I meet,
so I actually have a report on
each of our friends, and you.
- What does mine look like?
- It's still a work in progress.
- Will there be anything else?
- Mhm-mm.
- No, thanks.
Delicious.
- This place is classy.
- I'd really wish you'd
let me go dutch.
- No, no, no.
I know it's kind of hard.
Believe, being a
professional hacker
pays way better than
when I was an amateur.
- And has a lot less risk.
- Yes, that is true.
But sometimes, it's
necessary to take risks,
otherwise you don't know
where you really stand.
- I'd like to make a toast.
Can you toast with iced tea?
- You can do anything you want.
- To necessary risks.
May we never be afraid
to take them.
- I can drink to that.
- I didn't mean right
this second.
- Thanks.
- Oh my gosh, thank you.
But, I'm sorry, I don't
think we've ordered this.
- It's from them.
- So you just gonna move on?
- That's the plan.
Do you not want me to?
- Are you actually asking
me? Or-
- No, no.
- Okay.
- No, I do like it here.
And I like our friends.
And I like you.
- So, so...what's next?
You graduate at the
top of your class-
- Yes.
- And then?
Off to where?
- Quantico.
- Oh, I hope so.
That's only like a three hour
drive from here, by the way.
You could visit me.
- So listen, I know that
sooner you finish this up,
the sooner you have
to leave here.
And, despite that, there's
something I wanna give you.
- It's, I just keep
it in my sock.
- Wow, Lincoln. You scared
me there for a second.
That's just the prettiest
flash drive I've ever seen.
What's on this?
- So, it just so happens
that the Merchant Bank
was taken over by the
Keystone Bank in 1985.
And then, the Keystone Bank,
it was folded into the
William Penn Bank Group
in the early 2000s.
And how do I know all this?
Well, it just so happens that
the William Penn Bank Group,
they're clients of mine.
And it took a lot of digging,
but I thought it might
be helpful if you had
the actual surveillance
footage from the bank.
- So this is the
actual bank robbery?
- Yeah, I know I'm just
a dumb old hacker,
but I figured some even
grainy footage would help, uh?
Now this right here,
should not surprise me.
- I'm so excited to see this.
- I know.
- I think we need popcorn.
- Oh!
- Am I the only one that
thinks we need popcorn here?
- I'm way ahead of you.
- And maybe some candy?
It's just not a movie
without candy.
- Edie, honey, can you get that?
yeah, I got it.
- This will be figured
out in a second, guys.
- Dad, it's Mom. She
says she needs to talk to you.
- Why she calling on that phone?
- Hey, where is Wilbert?
I figured he'd be one
of the first ones here.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I did, too.
I called him first, so I
thought he'd beat you all here.
- I'll tell you what
I'm excited about.
Dig this, I'm gonna
get to see Mimi
when she was a teenager.
- Beth just called.
Wilbert's not coming.
He's in the hospital. He's in
the emergency room right now.
- What happened?
- They don't know everything,
but it doesn't look good.
- Oh, man.
- Morning.
- Well?
- It turns out that Wilbert
had a Vfib cardiac arrest.
Which means that
his heart stopped
due to an abnormal
electrical rhythm.
He was very smart to
call the ambulance
and get here as
quickly as he did.
He did have a blocked
artery, so we put in a stent.
- Beth, I'm sorry,
is he gonna be okay?
- I think so, yes.
I mean, we're gonna keep
him sedated for a few days.
You know, just give him a
chance to let his body heal.
But, I'm really hopeful that
he's gonna make a full recovery.
- Well, I know what
we've gotta do.
I'm gonna get the
congregation on it right away.
Thank you for everything
that you've done.
Wait? Doesn't
Wilbert have a cat?
- Oh, yes, yeah, he does.
- I totally forgot about that.
It's okay, I have a key,
I can go over and get it.
- Wait, you, Hitch?
You run out of the room
when my cats come near you.
You hate cats.
- You hate cats?
- It's more of an allergy
situation, not a...
- Call me if anything
else happens.
- Okay you got it,
thanks, thanks Beth.
- I'll go with the cat hater.
- Your welcome.
- Yeah. Bye, Beth.
- Bye.
- All right, I'm gonna
go to the garage.
I think he has one of those
cat carriers out there.
- Okay, I'll work on
surveillance and apprehension.
- Good.
- Wait, and what's
the cat's name?
- I don't know the
dumb cat's name.
Just apprehend any cat you find.
- Here, kitty, kitty!
- There you are! Hey, come here!
Hello?
Hello?
I know you're down here.
Come on, we gotta get you
out of here, so you can eat.
Oh, now you're trapped, come on.
All right, hold on.
Come here, where did you go?
- I found it! It was behind
all the Christmas stuff.
- Thank you, I'll be right out,
I got the cat right in here.
- Oh, okay, okay.
- Come here, come here.
- Oh, oh.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Okay.
- Did I just wake you up?
- No, yeah, I was
still sleeping.
- Why?
- Because the cat
kept me up all night.
- You could of
left him at Wilbert's
and fed him there.
- Well, why didn't you just
tell me that yesterday?
Look, I'm glad you called.
Because, while I
was up last night,
I think I had a
rather good idea.
And I wanna run it by you.
- Okay.
- Okay, you gonna be at church?
- I will.
- All right, I got
a couple of yards.
I'll come by after, okay?
- See you there.
- All right, thank you, Mimi.
- Bye.
- Okay, bye.
I hear you.
I know you're hungry.
I'm hungry, too.
- So, what's your big idea?
- Okay, I got a
question for you.
Is it okay to do
something wrong,
if it's for the right reason?
- No.
- Okay, I'm sure
that's just because
I asked the wrong way. Let
me think about it, hold on.
Ah, ah, ah.
What if you wanna
do something good,
but you gotta do something
bad to do the good thing?
- That's the exact same
question rephrased.
Hold on a minute.
- Mimi, that's the
Ten Commandments.
- So, I checked.
There's no expiration
date on these.
Hitch, what do you wanna do?
- I wanna rob a bank.
- That definitely made the list.
Right there.
Thou, that means you.
Shall not steal. That
means rob a bank.
- Mimi, come on, I don't
really wanna rob a bank.
I wanna pretend to rob a bank.
Look, I think if we can get
the community to help us,
I don't know, maybe Alex
could film it or something.
It might help her figure
out where the money went.
And then, maybe Wilbert
could finally get some rest.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Guess what?
- What?
- The Board said yes.
They love Wilbert.
They said anything good for
Wilbert, is good for the bank.
So, let's rob this bank!
- What? Did, did?
- Oh, no, no, no, we're just-
- In 1972, four masked men
walked into Merchant
National Bank and robbed it,
getting $350,000.
Money that was never found.
Now, the community is
coming together to restage,
get this, a bank robbery.
Retired Detective Wilbert
Moser has been obsessed
with the Merchant Bank
robbery for 50 years.
Moser, a volunteer for many
community organizations,
landed in the
hospital last week.
And everyone who
appreciates his dedication,
is coming together
to solve this case.
- It's great for everyone to
come together as a community.
We're a community bank, and
hopefully we solve the case!
- I think it's definitely
a unique way to do it.
I've never seen anything
like it before.
- The big question,
were is the money?
Will Lewis reporting
for "WFMZ 69 News."
- Hey, do you understand it all?
- I do, but Pastor Mimi,
are you sure you don't
wanna play yourself?
I feel bad taking your part.
- I've lived through that bank
robbery one time too many.
Besides, I have a much
more important job.
I'm gonna make sure we have
enough food when this is done.
- Good luck!
Hi, Sister Bonnie?
- Mm-hm?
- Can you be at the crosswalk
at the top of the hour?
- Yes.
And who's driving
the getaway car?
- That's a really good question.
Let me find the answer
for that for you.
- They're right over here.
- Okay, thank you.
- I had it with you guys!
- Oh hi, boys, have we figured
out who's playing who yet?
- No, they're still
arguing about it.
- He's arguing.
- What's the problem?
- We all wanna be Uncle Donald.
- I'm the only one of these guys
that has professional
performing experience.
Wouldn't it make sense
that I play the lead role?
- You are a magician!
- Gentlemen, gentlemen!
There are no small parts,
only small criminals.
No? I'm kidding.
Barney, you're Huey.
- Oh, good, I get to
sit down all day.
- Pete, you're Dewey.
- I don't know if I
can be that mean,
but I'll do the best I can.
- Hitch, you're Louie.
- Oh, lucky me.
- I see what you did there.
- And Peyton, you get to be-
- Uncle Donald!
And all is right in the world.
- All right, I'm gonna
keep an eye on you guys.
And if I see anybody
get out of line,
I'm gonna put you in a
time out. Come on, Lincoln.
- An actor prepares.
- You really are
pathetic. You're pathetic!
- Thank you all for being here.
It's very kind of
you all to show up,
to support our dear
friend, Wilbert.
Alex here has asked that I say
a prayer before you head off.
So, will you please
bow your heads?
Dear Lord, we know
you're always with us.
And we ask that you bless
this bank robbery today.
Oh boy, that could be
a real career ender.
Thank heavens that no
one else will know
that I asked God to bless
a bank robbery today.
- Barney, come on,
you gotta drive faster.
Alex said we have to be on time!
What are you waiting for?
- Come on!
- You could of just gone.
Okay, you could of
gone right now.
Dude, we're gonna be late!
- Hey! I told you guys
I'd help you rob the bank,
I will not get a traffic ticket.
- This is a robbery!
- Be careful!
- I will! Phew!
- Oh!
- Let's go, let's go, let's go!
- I'm not messing around here.
Get me to that vault!
Chop, chop! Yeah!
- Did you push that button?
Did you push button?
- No, stop, I'm pregnant!
- What!
- I'm acting.
- Oh, what's my next line?
- I don't care.
- I don't care.
-Our
Father, who art in heaven-- Be
quiet!
Girl, I said be quiet!
- Hey, back off, Dewey!
- I'll take both of you out!
- Dewey!
- Magic Johnson you not, okay!
Now?
- Go, go, go!
- Everything's gonna be okay,
we'll be out of here
in a few minutes.
- Go!
- It's the magic again.
- Louie, you idiot! You
missed the bank manager!
- Go, go, go, go!
- Uncle Donald went
out the back door.
- It's not your
lucky day, Louie!
- Okay, they're coming your way.
Good job.
- Go!
- And now I gotta roll?
- Yes!
- I hope you stretched!
- Don't move, or I'll
blow your head off!
- Okay, are you sure you
didn't find anything?
- I'm telling you,
there was nothing there.
- I can't find anything.
- Me either.
- Oh, guys, let's get
a picture for Wilbert.
- This is extraordinary.
Oh! There's Hazel.
Wally.
I can't believe everybody
went through all this trouble
on my behalf.
And Hitch, the great cat hater.
Thanks for taking care of her.
- Anything you need.
Good news is, we're finally
on the same sleep schedule,
but believe me, I'll be
happy to return the cat.
- How you doing with
the big mystery,
have you figured it out yet?
- I'm trying, you know.
I just think if we could figure
out where the money went,
it would give a lot of people
some closure, you know?
- And?
- Well, I'm still working on it.
But I actually have something
else that I wanna show you.
That I think is just
gonna blow your mind.
- I hope not.
At my age, I can't afford to
lose another week of my life.
- But you are leaving
tomorrow, right?
- So they say.
- Okay, now I'm gonna start it.
But if any point you
don't wanna watch anymore,
we can turn it off.
- Okay.
- Okay, so this is
where Lincoln split the screen,
so that you can see
the actual robbery,
and the recreation
at the same time.
- Alex, this is sensational.
So Lincoln tracked
down this footage?
- Yeah, it was a
huge coincidence.
- Hitch, what do you think
about what Alex just said?
- Well, Wilbert doesn't
believe in coincidences.
He calls that a
POG, proof of God.
- For 30 years I tried
to find that footage.
They kept telling me
it was lost forever.
- Well, I really gotta
brag about the kids here.
They had this down to a science.
They even had this
group of people
who they followed Pete,
who was playing Dewey
in this recreation.
They followed everywhere he ran,
to see if there was anyplace
Dewey could of hid the money,
before the cops got him.
- That was very kind of them.
But now I realized Mr.
Parkinson wasn't lying
about that, after all.
He never had the money.
- Wait, how could you
possibly know that?
- Because of your hard work.
- I finally know who
Uncle Donald is.
- Hello, everyone.
Thank you for joining us
for this reunion of sorts.
Your counterparts did
an excellent job
recreating the robbery based
off of newspaper articles,
TV news clips, and
court testimony.
This event has had such
an impact on so many
of you here today, and
we are very grateful
that you joined us.
- I'm just here for
the cherry pie.
- Well, you have Barney
to thank for that.
Best desserts in town,
thank you, Barney.
- There's plenty more
where that came from.
- Anyway, we are very
excited that you are here
for this celebration, and pie.
And now that every one
is good and satiated,
there's something that I
would like to share with you.
So, here's what we know.
This was one
well-planned robbery.
And I say that because
for 50 years,
no one could figure
out what happened.
As investigators, we
get stuck in the weeds,
trying to figure out the
details of what the plan was.
When actually, the real clues
are in what the plan wasn't.
Crazy talk, I know, right?
But, let me explain.
- This is a robbery!
- Uncle Donald
obviously meticulously
planned this robbery.
- You in the white dress!
- But then,
there are some events
that he could not had planned.
For instance, a
young pastor Mimi,
in what was the scariest
moment of her young life,
is moved to pray out loud.
And that simple prayer
leads to an altercation
between Dewey and Louie.
- I'll take you both out!
- And that argument
gives Arthur Tiller
the cover he needs to
crawl from his hiding place
in the back room to his desk,
to trigger the hidden alarm.
And the reason he was in the
back room, in the first place,
is because of another seemingly
random unplanned event.
The toilet was clogged.
Oo! Gross. I know.
But, what a game changer.
Because Mr. Tiller asked his
secretary, Loretta Wilson,
to call the plumber
at exactly 4:53 p.m.,
which we know based
off of phone records.
Thank goodness Mr. Tiller
stayed back and dealt
with the problem.
Or else, he wouldn't had
been able to save the day.
Isn't that right, Mr. Tiller?
- That's a fact.
- And lastly, maybe
the four criminals
would had escaped justice
if it wasn't for
one last random act.
A random act of kindness,
one might say.
That played out just
two miles away.
If it weren't for Sarah
Finn's new Buster Brown shoes,
they might have never
been captured.
I'm sorry, she's a new,
but very important
character to our story.
May I introduce everyone
to Miss Sarah Finn.
Thank you for joining us.
- I'm glad to be here.
This is all so fascinating.
- You were six years old
at the time of the robbery,
correct?
- Yes.
- She had gotten
a brand new pair of shoes
the night before.
They were her pride and joy,
but she stepped in
a puddle of mud,
while she was
playing in the park
with her favorite
teacher, Sister Alice.
At the very moment that
a young Pastor Mimi
was lying on the bank floor,
praying for some
divine intervention.
Perhaps that was the
divine intervention.
The child was devastated.
- My shoes!
- Any woman would understand
how upsetting it is
for a young girl to ruin
a brand new pair of shoes!
Even a nun. Isn't
that right, Sarah?
- Very true.
- Hey, Sarah?
It's okay. Look!
They are as good as new.
Let's put them on.
Oh, look so beautiful on you.
Ready to go back to school?
- Sister Alice
made sure that
those shoes were presentable,
even if it meant that
she would be spending
the rest of the night
hand-washing her habit.
- Sister Alice was such
a wonderful woman.
- So, her random act of
kindness delayed the group
just long enough
so that they were
in the middle of the
crosswalk at the exact moment
that Huey turned the corner.
Maybe if the criminals
had known one another
before the robbery, Roger
Parkinson would had been aware
that Harry Hamilton,
also known as Huey,
was struggling in that
moment to do the right thing.
Which we know, because he
went to mass nearly every day.
Even the morning of the robbery.
Isn't that right?
- Yes, he did.
- So there was no way he was
gonna harm any nun or child.
- No, goodness, no, no.
- So Harry stopped the car,
knowing full well in that moment
that his chance to run was over.
And that he would have
to pay for his actions.
And he did.
- Yeah.
- That he lived on the
straight and narrow
for the rest of his
life, isn't that right?
- Yes, he did. Yes.
- Thank you.
As for Roger Parkinson,
well, he's where any
narcissistic, dangerous,
sociopath belongs.
Behind bars forever.
He served his time
for the robbery.
And then, lived a remorseless
life of crime thereafter.
He spent a lot of time in jail.
For years, we had thought
maybe he had taken the money,
and hidden it along his path,
but thanks to the work
of many volunteers,
one of whom maybe
pulled a hamstring.
Thank you, Pete.
We know that isn't the case.
And so, now I'd like
to hand it over
to the man who finally
solved the puzzle, Wilbert.
- Thank you, Alex.
Just remember, you're
the star of the show.
I'm only here to support you.
I'm a lucky man.
You see, I've lived a life
filled with many blessings.
And the greatest of
those blessings,
is the friends I have.
Many of the people who
are the closest to me,
are here in this room.
And they all lead very
interesting lives.
Like this guy, right here.
Peyton.
Peyton is an
honest-to-goodness magician.
A professional.
When he shows us
an amazing trick,
and I ask him "How
did you do that?"
You know what he says?
"I did it pretty good."
He's the real deal,
never gives a trick away.
And boy, is that frustrating
to a guy like me,
who's always trying
to figure things out.
And I also count Lincoln
here, as a friend.
Because when you
get to be my age,
you always need someone to
show you how your phone works.
Or, your TV.
Lincoln, would you run
the video for me, please?
Now, Lincoln, stop! Right there!
Okay, good.
Now, back to the magic tricks.
Fabulous stuff.
And even if my friend won't
tell me how tricks work,
I've always heard that a great
trick needs a good setup.
A little misdirection, maybe
some smoke and mirrors.
Friends of the
Donald Duck robbery
might just be the
greatest magic performed
in the last 50 years.
And even though the magician
who miraculously pulled
it off was an amateur,
he fooled us all for
half a century.
It was an inside job.
And that person is
sitting in this room.
At this moment, right here,
the magic show had
already begun.
And nobody in the
bank knows it yet.
Alex mentioned this happened
at exactly 4:53 p.m., right?
- Mm-hm.
- Lincoln, would you
fast-forward, please?
Good! Stop right there!
Did anyone see the
first part of the trick?
- No.
- Mm-um.
- Well, don't feel bad.
Neither did I for 50 years.
But you've already
witnessed the setup.
Okay, let's fast-forward again.
Hey! Stop right there!
How about that?
Anyone?
You see this magician
is really good.
Okay, Lincoln, last bit, please.
Now, here's where things
get really crazy.
The alarm rings, thanks to
Mr. Tiller's heroic efforts.
Uncle Donald moves towards
the manager's desk.
And right here, is where the
mastermind of the robbery
threatens to kill poor Mr.
Tiller.
Would you, can we see
this bigger, please?
I dare say that moment,
right there,
must of been the worse
moment of your life.
- Yes. It was.
And I don't
appreciate you making
me sit here and relive it.
- Your are so right! I'm
sorry, I'm being rude.
You don't wanna see that.
Lincoln, can we pull up
the second camera, please?
Oh, Mr. Tiller, that's you
popping up behind your desk!
That's you!
Stop it, right there.
Much better, right?
- Obviously, I'm alive ain't I?
Nobody's pushing a
gun to my head!
- And at that moment in time,
you were now $350,000 richer!
- I don't have to
take this abuse!
- Sit down!
- You all are crazy.
- Come on, Mr. Tiller,
we watched your show.
The least you can do
is see the end of ours.
- You can say what you want,
but there's no way you
can prove what you say.
- As a matter of fact, I can.
But I'm sorry,
because I'm gonna have to
give away your trick to do it.
As I mentioned earlier,
the magic show began
when Loretta Wilson
picked up that phone.
Now, sometimes you need
a fresh perspective
to get an insight that
you would otherwise miss.
For instance, when our
young friend Lincoln here,
interviewed Mrs. Wilson,
along with his Uncle Hitch,
he asked a question that an
older, more polite person
would never ask.
As he was turning to leave,
he just couldn't resist
asking Mrs. Wilson-
- Miss Wilson, when they finally
came to check the bathroom,
how bad was it?
- And that, was the
very first time
anyone had asked
her that question.
And, guess how she answered?
- The funniest thing is,
when the plumber came
back the next day,
he said there was nothing
wrong with it at all.
- So, what was it back there?
- There's nothing wrong
with your bathroom.
- What do you mean, there's
nothing wrong with the bathroom?
- I mean, there's
literally nothing wrong.
- Okay, let me get you a check.
- No, no charge.
There was nothing for me to fix.
I'll get you on the next call.
- At 4:53 p.m.,
Arthur Tiller directed
Mrs. Wilson to her phone.
He closed the door to
the employee area,
so no one would see him
unlock the restroom.
In which he had probably
stored his coveralls,
mask, and the bags
used in the robbery.
He used his master pass key
to unlock the rear door,
and he disengaged the
alarm on that door,
which gave him two full minutes
to cover the short distance
between the bank's location,
and the designated
rendezvous spot.
We've been over the
robbery countless times.
We know when they entered,
we know how they argued.
We know Mimi prayed,
and we know despite
what Uncle Donald said,
Kathy Reade never
reached for that alarm.
- Uncle Donald!
Hey! What's she doing?
She reached for the alarm?
- You see, that part
of the robbery served
one purpose only.
Misdirection.
From where Dewey was standing,
he could see over
the teller's cage.
Which wasn't good,
because Arthur Tiller
was about to pull
his greatest feat
of prestidigitation.
The trick was so simple.
Once Dewey was misdirected,
Uncle Donald pulled
the old switch-a-roo.
- Keep your face
down, and your eyes shut,
or you'll regret
what happens next.
- Please deliver
us safely from these bank-
- He probably
practiced this move at home
for weeks, before the robbery.
But thanks to Pastor
Mimi's praying,
he had twice as long
to switch the bags.
- I'm not
kidding back off!
I'll take you both out!
- Dewey! Bag!
- There were three secret
alarms in the bank.
We've established that
one was near Kathy Reade.
And we know that one was
under Mr. Tiller's desk.
And you know where
the third one was?
It was exactly where
Uncle Donald was standing.
- Dewey! Bag!
Get ready to blow!
Louie! You idiot! You
missed the manager!
- Now, I know what
you're wondering.
How could he be standing
beside the desk,
and also be behind the desk?
Well, of course he can't be!
So, here's what I
think happened next.
Remember what I said
about smoke and mirrors?
Uncle Donald definitely
made sure there was smoke.
When he had to cover
the smoke bomb,
all Uncle Donald had to do,
was grab the bag
filled with cash,
run into the employee area,
toss it with the coveralls
and mask, into the restroom.
Re-lock the restroom door.
He purposely opened
the rear door,
setting off the second alarm.
Crawled to his desk,
and pretended to be
there all along.
- That is an out and out lie!
I was behind that desk
fearing for my life!
I was a hero!
- No, sir. You were not a hero.
You were a criminal.
And in this instance, you
were not even a good magician.
Because even though you
remembered the smoke,
you forgot the mirrors.
Lincoln, can you run
that last clip please?
How about that?
Same bank, same camera angles.
Same action.
I want you to see something,
I want you to watch this.
That's my friend, Peyton.
Watch what happens
when he clears.
You see this reflection?
This is a reflection of Mr.
Dunham.
My friend, who's now
manager of the bank,
and he's playing you
in the recreation.
Because he's where
you said you were.
You said you were
behind the desk.
But what happens here?
Desk, desk, reflection,
no reflection!
No Arthur Tiller.
Because, Mr. Tiller, you
were not behind the desk.
You were standing
next to the desk.
This was the greatest
illusion of all.
For five decades,
the world believed
that Mr. Tiller was
behind his desk
when, in fact, he was
standing right in front of it.
- Hold on! Wait a minute!
Hold on, you think
you're so smart.
If it happened like
you said it did,
I was still, had to get all
that money out of there,
surrounded by
employees, and cops.
Which would of
been impossible!
- Lincoln, would you be
so good as to pull up
that wonderful article
from the newspaper
about the town hero,
Arthur Tiller?
Mr. Tiller, you really
are a very smart man.
And I must admit,
that confused both
myself, and Alex.
But then, she pointed out
something very interesting.
Alex?
- According to the
"Farmer's Almanac" that day,
September 19th, was
unseasonably hot.
95 degrees.
So, as you can see
in this photos
everyone is wearing
short sleeves.
Everybody except
you, Mr.Tiller.
So, here's what I
think happened.
After the robbery, you
asked to be alone,
after such a traumatic
experience.
But you didn't really
need to collect yourself.
You needed to strap
the money to your body,
and cover it with
your wool overcoat.
On a day when you could
of just as easily
worn a pair of shorts.
Then, you casually
walked out of the bank.
So that is how you, the
infamous Uncle Donald,
stole $350,000 from the
Merchant's National Bank
on September 19th, 1972.
This case is officially closed.
- I'm so proud of you,
I'm so proud of you!
- You're not gonna wanna
leave without this.
- Oh, thank you.
- Hey, you know that's funny,
when this all started, Alex,
you were obsessed with figuring
out who Lucky Louie was.
Now, I guess it doesn't
really matter, huh?
- Look, I talked to the cops,
and they said the statutes
of limitations have run out.
So, there's nothing they
can do to Arthur Tiller.
- Well maybe he'll finally
get a good night's sleep.
- It'd be nice to figure out
who he was, though, you know?
- Oh, I think a smart
young lady like Alex
knows who Lucky Louie is.
Tell 'em.
- It's not my place.
- I am.
- What?
- I owe you all an apology.
Please understand that
I tried very hard
to live a life
that would erase this
afternoon forever.
Pastor, I'm so sorry.
No doubt, this has been very
shocking to you, especially.
- Oh, not in the least.
I've known for a very long time.
- How's that possible?
- Because Louie had the
kindest eyes that I've seen
in my entire life.
There was no way I'd
ever forget them.
The minute you stepped
into our church,
I knew who you were.
- You never turned me in.
- Well, more and more,
some Christians think
it's their place
to judge their fellow
man, it's not.
Our place is to live
and love by example.
I hope I've done that.
- Am I the only one
who's mind is blown here?
No, wait, come on.
Seriously?
It all makes sense now,
you know, honestly.
The things you did for us.
But what I can't figure out
is, how three, relatively smart
former criminals-
- I ain't that smart.
- Couldn't figure
this out in 20 years.
But somehow you did.
- That's a good question.
- Well, I was telling Lincoln
that I have this weird habit.
When I meet someone new,
I write a personality
report on them.
And one day, I realized that
my reports on Lucky Louie
were identical to my notes on
my new friend Wilbert, here.
Then, at his house,
I noticed he didn't
officially join
the police department
until 1974,
which was a full two
years after the robbery.
But what really sealed
the deal was when
we went to Wilbert's
house to get his cat,
and it lead me to his
bank robbery room.
And on the walls
he had one column
dedicated to Uncle Donald.
One dedicated to Huey,
one dedicated to Dewey,
but no one column
dedicated to Louie.
And that's because,
well obviously,
he already knew who Louie was.
- I had every confidence
in you, Alex.
I knew that you would free
me from this awful secret.
And to be honest,
it's been very hard.
And now, I have to tell the
truth to everyone in this town.
They should all know what I did.
- Is that really necessary?
- After I was so hard
on Arthur Tiller?
- Hold on, Wilbert, Arthur
Tiller was the mastermind.
And he was the only one
who profited from this.
- It doesn't make
any difference.
I'm still a sinner,
and I really wanna get
this off my chest.
I have to.
May I speak to the
congregation tomorrow?
- Well that was wonderful,
the youth choir.
Today's sermon is going to
be a bit of a departure.
But rest assured, it
is rooted in scripture.
In his gospel, Luke reminds
us that Jesus last mortal act
was to promise eternal salvation
to the criminal crucified
on this right.
Wilbert?
- Thank you, Pastor Mimi.
It's nice to see many familiar
faces here this morning.
Wouldn't it be nice
if churches were this
full every Sunday?
I've learned a lot in my life,
thanks to my job.
But, most of the lessons
were learned years ago,
when I was young and
mad at the world.
I had no purpose,
I had no faith.
I thought I was owed something.
So, it's no surprise when an
opportunity presented itself
that I saw it as a
chance to strike back
at a world that had ignored me.
It is with a very
heavy heart today
that I must inform you all
that I was one of
the men who robbed
the Merchant's
National Bank in 1972.
That day, I hid under a mask.
And since then, I've
hidden under my own shame.
I had no hope after the robbery.
And that is the exact moment
that God finds you.
And guides you, if you let him.
It was his hand that led me
to the police department.
And allowed me to do
my best to live a life
that would redeem the
part of me that I lost.
And I have truly tried
to do just that.
But the fact remains,
that I stand before
you, a sinner.
And I ask for your forgiveness.
- I stand before you a sinner.
And I ask for your forgiveness.
- I stand before you a sinner,
and I ask for your forgiveness.
- I stand before you a sinner,
and I ask for your forgiveness.
- I stand before you a sinner,
and I ask for your forgiveness.
- I stand before you a sinner,
and I ask for your forgiveness.
- I stand before you a sinner,
and I ask for your forgiveness.
- I stand before you a sinner,
and I ask for your forgiveness.
- I stand before you a sinner,
and I ask for your forgiveness.
- Mr. Tiller, we don't
want any trouble here.
- I've always been too
scared to spend that money.
And I'm sick and tired
of looking at it.
So now, it's your problem.