Lumpia: With a Vengeance (2020) Movie Script

This is the fight we have
to finish once and for all.
MAN: Hey, Dad, have
you seen my xylophone?
Cellular phone?
[ominous music]
NARRATOR: Not so long
ago, there were whispers
of a hero with unique taste.
He even had a hella dope name--
That's Filipino
for "big brother."
Now, two decades later,
Kuya still fights
crime with his favorite food--
GEORGE: All right.
Here you go.
NARRATOR: This delicious
spring roll comes in all kinds
of tasty fillings--
pork, shrimp, even that
new high-tech flavor--
spy cameras.
Mabuhay, Ninong.
JEMINI: On behalf of
Ninong, it's an honor
to pitch our new product--
JEMINI (ON TV): --to the
head chefs of the city.
All of you represent
the cuisines--
JEMINI: --of many nations.
CHEF EARL: While y'all were
all doing your other creations,
I was out here representing us.
JEMINI: This is the
culinary mastery
of our very own Chef Earl.
This is no ordinary lumpia.
KARA: It's called a
happy lumpia, a rehash
of the Filipino spring roll.
JEMINI: And it satiates
every craving, animal style.
The streets can't get enough.
--representing us with drugs?
CHEF: Shaped like egg rolls?
CHEF EARL: That's not no drugs.
That is art.
This is art?
[Ninong bangs table]
GEORGE: Hell nah.
A happy lumpia?
Filipino cuisine
is hot right now,
and lumpia is the
perfect gateway
for caucasians, Blacks, Asians.
Are we Asian or
Pacific Islander?
Because sometimes I like
to check the Hispanic box.
[speaking Tagalog]
GEORGE: Are they seriously
bastardizing our brand
into some designer drug?
I mean, what do they think?
This is an EDM
concert or something?
Yo, um--
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Your belt ain't ready yet, man!
Come on!
[ukulele music]
GEORGE (ON RADIO): Slow down.
And look, this was
not part of the plan.
And man, everybody is in there.
If you blow this, we will
lose our cover forever.
Why do you always do this, man?
CHEF EARL: Man, I could
make some happy burritos,
happy poke bowls.
Hey, excuse me!
You can't sell that here, OK?
Hey, man.
You're James Magsaysay, right?
Yup, yup, that's me.
But call me Mon Mon.
Dude, you don't
remember me, fool?
Fogtown High.
It's me, G-Dog.
The high school bully?
You and Tyrone made fun of me!
My name, my hair, my--
Fobbiness? (LAUGHING)
Hey, I'm sorry, man.
I'm sorry.
My bad.
Look, G-Dog was a hell of
a long time ago, right?
It's just George now.
That's for you, dude.
[magical sound effect]
Wow! You made these?
No, man, the chef back there,
he's got a recipe I believe in.
So we made this collabo.
The business.
You know what I'm saying?
Whoa, whoa.
CR's that way, buddy
JEMINI: Remember,
you all are winners.
ALL: Mabuhay, Ninong.
Yeah, Nin--
I mean, oh, no, Ninong!
[bang on door]
[screaming continues]
MON MON: What?!
What the hell?
WOMAN: It's ICE, run!
Get over here!
JEMINI: [speaking Tagalog]
You won't get
anything out of me!
Mabuhay, Ninong!
Listen, why are you so strong!
Oh, what the hell!
What is that, black blood?
It's chocolate meat, sucker!
God damn!
[people screaming]
No way!
It's Lumpia Man!
Lionel, Miguel-Angelito,
Raffaello, Donato, take him.
[dramatic music]
Please, stop!
Stop, stop, stop!
Stop in the name of the
[inaudible screams]
It is you!
Remember me?
You're my hero!
You got buffer!
And you feel so warm!
[glass shatters]
You have nothing to throw!
[music playing]
Time to eat, bro!
[theme music]
NARRATOR: Welcome to Fogtown,
a place that most def
suits its name, where
both the humidity
and the Filipino
population is over 60%.
It's the Filipino
capital of America, where
even the mayor is Filipino.
[pop music]
[awkward laughter]
very much, Mayor Reynaldo.
We will be appearing Fogtown--
[mic feedback]
--Fogtown High School to launch
our new anti-bullying campaign.
[laughs] Anti-bully, yes, also
known as, uh, don't touch.
Councilman Tolentino--
he's just a little nervous.
He's got that province
twang, you know.
You know you do it.
Ba-dang, ba-dang-dang!
(CHUCKLING) I'm just kidding.
It's only a joke.
Tell them what the name
of the campaign is.
It's called Fight The Bully!
It's like "fight
the power," right?
But "fight the bully."
You guys get it?
Mayor Reynaldo--
No, no, no, it's
supposed to be a fist.
It's not a-- (SINGING)
close, open, close open.
REPORTER 1: Mr. Mayor!
REPORTER 2: Mayor Reynaldo!
Would you call the assailant
from last week's brawl
at the restaurant a bully?
That's why we have
Fogtown's finest
right here to investigate--
Detective Jerome Bayani.
Look at him.
He looks like the
Ilocano Erik Estrada.
Tell 'em what your
last name means.
[clears throat] Yes, uh,
my last name is Bayani,
which originates from--
It means "hero"!
"Bayani" is Filipino for
"hero"! (SINGING) He is a hero!
Mr. Mayor!
Can you confirm that the
restaurant incident is the work
of the so-called Taquito Man?
And could it be related
to the other "taquito
in the mouth" sightings
made famous on Webtube?
Actually, it's not a taquito.
It's lumpia, the
Filipino egg roll.
So you're saying the
Taquito Man is Filipino?
No, the egg roll
used is Filipino.
Wait, so the
suspect is Filipino?
Not necessarily.
We'd have to check
his nose width.
He can be Mexican.
Because he eats taquitos?
Mr. Mayor!
Hold-- Hold on!
He could be any race, right?
Because everyone
loves that lumpia.
We're getting you
through that rush-hour traffic
with the most requested song
on the Bay, and it's Filipino!
From local Fogtown, artist J'art
with Maarte.
MON MON: Kelly,
what's more cray cray?
My best homie Philbert,
a city councilman,
or a Filipino song
playing on the radio,
sung by my other homie, Jart?
You still reading a
newspaper is cray cray.
Use a phone like everyone else.
See this?
Is that Pacquiao?
It's Lumpia Man!
Don't you remember?
The same guy from high school!
He's back for some reason.
You're not a cop, Mon Mon.
You aren't even a mall cop.
You're a strip mall cop.
Still a cop.
You deserve a better job.
MON MON: And you deserve
better than living
at my parents' house, Kelly.
KELLY: Look, at
least we have a home.
NARRATOR: A home, in Mon
Mon's childhood neighborhood,
with the same
next-door neighbors.
IBING: Credit card, swipe!
[yelps] Ibing!
Transaction denied, man!
Ah, Mon Mon, don't be a bore!
You don't accept being
expressed no more?
Stupid, man!
Come on!
That hurt!
[yells] Chad!
That almost went through!
Be happy I didn't
use a chip card!
Dang, Mon Mon!
Did you think it
was the Lumpia Man?
Come on, bro!
Yep, now he's dedicated his
life to solving the mystery
of the caped egg-roll crusader.
He doesn't even
wear a cape, OK?
I felt him.
He totally buffed up, big time.
He even smells like a hero.
I think he wears,
like, Coolwater.
Mon Mon has a new fianc.
Whoa, hold up!
Don't cancel the
wedding yet, guys!
Want you to check
out my new whip!
You call that a van?
This is a van.
The Ibing Mobile!
My dudes!
Hella fly for a brown guy.
KELLY: You know what's
more fly, Ibing?
Asking Jart to include the Ibing
Mobile in the Maarte video.
No way!
MTV, bro!
We should shoot
it with everyone!
At our wedding.
This weekend.
Yep, and it's finally
happening, thanks to Rachel.
NARRATOR: That's right.
Hi, guys!
NARRATOR: Mon Mon and Kelly
are finally getting married--
17 years after they
first met in high school.
RACHEL: So that was
me when I was born.
They were still in high
school, and now, they want
the big wedding they never had.
My dad got laid off, and my
mom can't pay off the cost
with only her office job.
So please become a
Kickfunder backer.
Check out the cool
reward incentives,
and help me out with
my parents' big day.
Thanks so much for your support.
[speaking Tagalog]
Damn, Rachel.
You're straight-up savage.
Crowdfunding your parents'
wedding and killing it!
What do you expect me to do?
Bail on my parents?
They made me their
maid of honor.
Like, clean the house?
With honor.
Hey, yo!
Screw your mama's wedding!
Ain't no shawty gonna cuff me!
You're an accident.
Yeah, your dad
should have pulled out.
Don't read those
comments, Rachel.
You know those fools
are gonna try to throw
shade in your [bleep] face.
Mr. Lee!
Lee, I will not have
this language in my classroom.
RICHARD: I was just commending
my friend, Ms. Magsaysay
here, for successfully
her parents wedding this month.
Did you know that her parents
fell in love at Fogtown High?
In fact, they made Rachel
at this very desk right here.
NARRATOR: But they really
made her in the back seat
of a beautiful '89 Sentra.
These are your
parents, Rachel?
Yes, Miss Manalo.
Well, unlike Mr.
Lee here, you're
a hero for doing this for them.
Let's not forget that history is
written by winners, not losers.
Unfortunately, you both will
need to see 'em in detention
in order to get these back.
My TA, Kara, will take
good care of them.
A reminder that there
are no electronic devices
allowed in the class.
[bell rings]
What the hell was that
stunt you just pulled!
Come on.
I'm your hype man.
Do you know what
a hype man does?
(SINGING) And love me low key--
NARRATOR: Mm, this fine
specimen was Rachel's destiny,
only because they were both
named after their parents'
favorite sitcom.
He aight.
I know we like him, though.
Because he's got a big--
He's got a big following!
40,000 subscribers on Webtube?
Unlike you, he
backed my campaign!
And made it viral!
Look, I gave you something
way more valuable than that--
moral support.
Someone's salty.
How else are we supposed
to make some cash?
GEORGE (ON RADIO): That's her!
That's Mon Mon's daughter.
Wait-- where are you going?
This is the Taquito
everyone is talking about?
It's not a taquito, ho.
It's happy "loompiah."
It's Filipinese.
I mean, you can eat it
or smoke it or both.
It best be good, or I'mma find
[bell rings]
Move, sasquatch.
Yeah, not if I find you first!
Man, your breath smells.
It really smells, actually.
[yells in pain]
Whoa, hey, Kuya.
You're not supposed to engage.
Just observe.
It's you!
Please! Pause!
I don't want to become a
hashtag taquitointhemouth.
GUARD: Hey! Touch that kid and I
touch you too!
GEORGE (ON RADIO): All right,
see, now you got caught.
head down the hall,
and I'll meet you in the back.
[suspenseful music]
[yelps] Watch it!
Wait a minute.
Is that a bomb?
Oh, shit!
What the-- [grunts]
Please tell me
you're a good guy!
Come on, fools!
Let's go!
You, too, Ms. Magsaysay!
You are seriously
not asking me to get
in a truck full of strangers.
NARRATOR: Rachel seriously gets
into a truck full of strangers.
Do I know you?
Well, yes, you might know me
as Kickfunder Backer number 14,
But you can call me George.
Welcome to Operation Lumpia.
Is that Lumpia Man driving?
See, man?
I told you.
I mean, everybody still
calls you Lumpia Man.
It's obvious because
you use lumpia.
His real superhero name is Kuya.
As in "big brother"?
OK, I guess.
My father is obsessed
with finding you.
And here you are, hiding
in a frozen custard truck?
Yeah, we had to get
rid of the lumpia truck,
switch up our cover.
But it's in better hands now.
NARRATOR: Yup, in the hands
of the proud new owner of--
--a taquito truck.
Mike, that's not it.
GEORGE: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
GEORGE: Loaded weapon, man!
Why you kids got to touch
everything with a button on it
these days?
Why do you guys
roll with egg rolls?
I don't know.
Maybe you should ask Kuya why
he's obsessed with lumpia.
Oh, that's right.
He can't talk.
Are you shy?
[scoffs] No.
It's because he's mute.
NARRATOR: She would have known
that if she saw the first film.
What's that you're eating?
What is he wearing?
GEORGE: I think he ate
a radioactive lumpia,
but I like to think
that Kuya was trained
by a bunch of martial
art-kicking, lumpia-eating
slipper assassins
from the motherland.
NARRATOR: Spoiler alert!
Kuya speaks the ancient
What he needs is a
matching supervillain,
like Kare Kare Man, Dr. Sisig,or
a kingpin named Crispy Papa.
[chuckles] That's pretty good.
I mean, it's more creative
than the actual crime boss
that we're up against.
He calls himself Ninong.
Like the godfather?
First crime boss passed away,
and we think he was recently
replaced by a new Ninong.
RACHEL: Miss Manalo?
That's detention!
I'm supposed to be there!
Well, you're not,
but your phone is.
Bridget Ignacio?
Everyone is accounted
for with the exception
of Rachel Magsaysay.
Any idea where
Ms. Magsaysay is at?
I do.
She's anywhere but
here, Miss Manalo.
So funny.
I thought this was
detention, not statistics.
Am I right, fellas?
Oh, Mr. Lee, you
can do so much better.
Let's call it what it is.
You're pale, and you're short.
silver spoon in your mouth,
history is already against you.
And you're going to need every
advantage that you can get.
And this detention
club can sell you that.
GEORGE: And what
they sell is drugs.
What kind of drugs?
It's a frozen lumpia
roll called happy lumpia.
(LAUGHING) Yeah, right.
(LAUGHING) That's funny.
(LAUGHING), Because Miss
Manalo would never sell drugs.
RACHEL: Not even Richard.
None of this makes sense.
We're not here to
make sense, Richard.
Oh, no.
We're here to make
dollar dollar bills, yo.
[george laughs]
(SINGING) All my peoples
in the ether looking down.
Did I do you wrong or
did I make you proud?
Lot of places that I've been,
lot of places that I seen--
I would trade them all
to have you back around.
I stay trapped in a maze,
playback on a playlist.
We made back in a day--
Where is he going?
GEORGE: I don't know.
I just pick him up here
and I drop him off here.
No questions asked.
(SINGING) Is this the
beginning or is it the end.
(SINGING) I push forward. I push
Well, that's why
we can't do it alone.
This has gotten bigger.
Why not just call the police
and go after Miss Manalo?
Man, F the police!
They're probably in
on it with Ninong.
We got to break down
this entire operation,
figure out where they
get their supply,
and figure out who
this new Ninong is.
And how am I supposed
to help exactly?
I don't know how to use your
tech, and he throws lumpia.
Like, what the hell?
You think they're
interested in Fogtown High
because you kids like drugs?
It's because you constantly
use tech and social media.
You're the most connected
people on earth.
That's what Ninong
wants to feed on.
Look, man, I'm just trying
to help my parents get married.
No, you look!
If we don't stop them, there's
not going to be a wedding.
There's not going to
be a Fogtown High.
[scoffs] There might
not even be a Fogtown.
NARRATOR: The last thing
a high school student
needs is more responsibility.
But George wasn't wrong.
Move, move, move!
Get out of the way,
get out of the way!
We need to get
first aid over here.
Get out of the way!
BOY: What the hell?
He's got a taquito in his mouth.
Hey, is that you?
Is that you?
That little face?
JEMINI: Lumpia Man knows we're
selling out Fogtown High.
CHEF EARL: Well, you
can't trust these kids.
We need to go online
to sell our shit,
and my boy Emoji right here is
going to make a dope website.
Hey, man, optimize it
with some of that SEO.
Some of that Sick Emoji Orgasm!
The arrangement is that you make
the happy lumpia
and we sell it, Chef.
We've got new clients coming in.
Now's not the time to change the
plan and cross the new Ninong.
A new Ninong?
Who is this guy?
Old mama chef, though, why we
taking orders from this girl?
Excuse me?
And next time, Emoji,
that won't just
be spaghetti on your shirt.
And please shut off
that annoying song!
So you have a plan?
Ninong always have a plan.
And I've found a target.
motives of the Lumpia Man
are still unknown.
But let's keep in mind that
sticking food in someone's
mouth is not against the law.
So this Kuya--
I mean, Lumpia Man--
uh, you trust him?
Oh, most def!
In high school, Lumpia
Man was the only one that
helped me believe in myself.
RACHEL: And Mom didn't?
She did.
But after I freak-danced her.
Oh, oh.
RACHEL: Gross, Dad!
Stop it!
The truth is, Lumpia Man
got me and your mom together.
NARRATOR: But did they only
stay together because they
had Rachel in high school?
There was a song that played
every time I saw your mom,
but I just don't
remember the song.
You want me to google it?
You can't solve
everything with an app, OK?
After 16 years,
Lumpia Man is back.
It's got to be a sign.
KELLY: Chicken dinner
for the winner!
And then--
Told you there was a sign.
Let's go.
[idle conversations]
(Rachel) I'll have one of those.
We celebrate the funding of the
Thank you, Santo Nio!
We do not have to
pay for the wedding.
[camera shutter]
Damn it, Miss Manalo!
NARRATOR: Damn her
to hell for keeping
Rachel's phone in detention!
COSTANCIO: Yeah, we need to
add vegetables to our diet.
PEDRO: Diet?
What happened to
your caveman diet?
Your dad can eat anything
now, because he's taking
the new Happy Crab Powder!
Sprinkle it like this, and
you lose 15 times your calories.
It's a miracle!
Oh, Kelly, here's a free sample.
Use it, so you can look
beautiful in your wedding.
Thanks, Mom.
PEDRO: Did you find
a new job, Mon Mon?
LORIE: Everyone has a job!
Lumpia Man has a job.
Even Rachel here has
a job with Kickfunder.
Don't worry.
Mon Mon's going to figure
it out after the wedding.
Figure it out?!
All your friends figure it out!
JR-- he sings in the
Webtube, and your brother
here, he is a doctor.
COSTANCIO: I'm a nurse, Mom.
LORIE: No, you're a doctor.
Paging Dr. Magsaysay.
LORIE: And your best friend,
Philbert, he's a councilman.
I voted for him, you know.
LORIE: Then tell me.
Why is your best friend
not coming to your wedding?
MON MON: Philbert's just
busy being a politician, OK?
PEDRO: Then Philbert's doing
a bad job as your best friend.
You can do better.
MON MON: Rachel, did
you know that Philbert
is your godfather?
See, you say that,
but I barely know him.
Uncle Costancio is also my
and he gives me an allowance
because you're broke.
NARRATOR: But rich
in family support.
You know, Dad,
Philbert's actually
speaking tomorrow at school.
Oh, I know.
It's for his
anti-bullying campaign.
You could say hi there and
give him that invitation.
COSTANCIO: Well, Philbert is
actually mad at us
for not having his back.
Not having his back for what?
That was a long time ago.
It's my fault!
All right?!
It's my fault that
Tyrone peed on Philbert!
As in, pee pee.
The most popular kid of
Fogtown High School was Tyrone,
and he bullied FOBs.
--stupid [bleep]
FOB, where is he!
Fresh Off the Boat.
BOY: And now, for
the finishing move.
NARRATOR: But this was no
family sitcom, because Tyrone
pee-peed all over Philbert.
Please tell me you
fought back to this Tyrone!
I hope you peed
right back at him!
It's self-defense!
Being peed at gives
the pissee the right
to pee back at the pisser.
I'm sure it's the law.
And if not, then Philbert
should make the law better.
It is legal to pee
on someone, especially
if you are stung by a bee.
I think you mean
stung by a jellyfish.
No, no, no, no, no.
Research says that
it's not true.
That is urban legend.
What's true is that
Lumpia Man protected us,
but he couldn't protect us all!
How's it taste, FOB?
[cheering, applause]
As a proud Fogtown--
[mic feedback]
As a proud Fogtown High alum,
it's great to be back here.
[cheering, applause]
This Fight--
[mic feedback]
This Fight the Bully
campaign means a lot to me.
Because as a student, I myself
was a victim of bullying.
ALL: Aw!
I was known as PeePee Herman!
Because a bully urinated on me!
[crowd gasps]
Those '90s were medieval!
Told you!
Man, it must have
taken several showers
to wash all that pee away.
I mean, how many
showers does it take
to wash away a golden shower?
PHILBERT: Just because he
took a number-one on me
doesn't mean I'm not
number one, right?
[cheering, applause]
I got a job!
I'm selling this!
Is that lumpia?
It's happy egg roll.
You can take a hit
while you snack a bit.
You dig?
You know?
And then, it becomes
the munchies.
So, lit off lumpia.
I prefer to call it egg roll.
things have been selling
like crazy, especially
with that whole
Egg Roll Man thing going on.
So if we can get your
Kickfunder backers on this,
we can get paid!
Mmm, OK, I'm in.
For-- for real?
Uh, how do I join?
Where do I get this stuff?
Better yet, can
you take me there?
Slow down, all right?
Miss Manalo will
explain everything.
All right?
[suspenseful music]
PHILBERT: No more hiding!
That's what this new
campaign's about.
We're going to fight!
Fight the bully!
[cheering, applause]
Thank you, thank you.
Chop, chop, chop.
And the campaign starts now!
Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm excited to announce
Councilman Tolentino's
bully, Tyrone Loreto!
[crowd booing]
This is awesome!
Pee on him!
Two legendary graduates right
here from Fogtown High School.
NARRATOR: Correction--
Tyrone never graduated.
We've got Pee Pee Herman
and Filipino R. Kelly.
[crowd chuckles]
Yo, yo, Councilman,
I just wanted to say,
I'm very sorry for
pissing on you and all.
I was a buck-wild youngin
with an absentee father,
and I used to sniff
a lot of glue.
[crowd gasps]
But look at us now.
You, the respected politician,
voted by the people of Fogtown,
and me, the minimum-wage server,
who just happens to be catering
at the anti-bullying
campaign launch
at the very high
school we both went to.
[crowd booing]
Forgive and forget.
CROWD: Pee on him!
Pee on him!
Pee on him!
Pee on him!
No, this campaign
is not about that.
What I want you guys to do is,
come on, come on, hug it out,
Let's slow dance.
Come on.
I'm proud of you, bro.
You've come a long way.
That's what she said.
[scattered laughter]
Freaking eh!
Did you see the way they
were looking at me, Merasol?
I'm different now!
I hold my pee now!
[speaking filipino]
[romantic music]
NARRATOR: If only Tyrone could
understand the song lyrics.
Don't look at me.
That's not Tagalog, pare.
That's a different dialect.
Well, don't you guys
speak the same language?
Come on, pare.
We are all pinoy, but
we are all so different.
[speaking filipino]
TYRONE: I don't get it.
Pare, pare.
[laughs] Pare.
[bangs on table]
pare, you need to go out
hang out with the homies.
TYRONE: Blood, this is my
best homie from high school,
DJ Swift Rock!
Oh, then blood, you can get us
in for free?
TYRONE: Oh, for sure.
Everybody who knows
Tyrone up in here.
[speaking filipino]
Wala-- uh, nothing.
All right.
So let me do the introduction.
I got this, Richard.
I'm going to tell her what's up.
Wait, what-- no!
[door creaks open]
[door closes]
I know you're selling
this, Miss Manalo.
And I want-- I want in.
You want in?
I want in on your bake
sale you're organizing.
Yeah, 'cause we're all going
to get baked in here, right?
Come on, can a brother relate--
MISS MANALO: Miss Magsaysay,
you have 112 Kickfunder backers.
Do any of them happen
to be Lumpia Man?
I don't know the Lumpia Man.
Your dad's known him
since high school, right?
Um, that's my phone.
You can't just--
I thought he was at the
restaurant with Lumpia
Man just the other week.
Well, how do you know he was--
You can find out anything
about anyone online.
PRESENTER: I'd like to
present this plaque to you.
[applause, cheering]
Yes, fight the bully!
MISS MANALO: There's a
pretty big reward out there
for your father's friend.
Imagine what we can do for a
club with that kind of funding.
RICHARD: Oh, yeah!
More happy egg rolls, right?
Why would you turn in Kuya--
[clears throat] Lumpia Man?
He's a hero.
Do all of you really think
this Lumpia Man is a hero?
And love that--
CROWD: Lumpia!
And love that--
CROWD: Lumpia!
And love that--
CROWD: Lumpia!
[crowd screaming]
Oh, god!
Is that banana sauce?
It's Lumpia Man!
- He shot the mayor!
I think we found your hero.
Did Lumpia Man do that?
Everybody run!
[suspenseful music]
Protect the sniper.
You know what this means?
You're next in rotation
to become mayor.
Oh, shit!
Is that the Egg Roll Man?
RACHEL: No, it ain't him!
Oh, geez!
It looks like shrimp vegetable!
Get down!
He's gonna fire!
[dramatic music]
Am I seeing doubles?
There's only one real Kuya.
[groaning in pain]
Come on, let's go.
Let's go!
Wait, let him go!
I got the rifle!
We good!
[phone ringing]
Kuya's out of control!
MAN (ON PHONE): Again--
The hell is that--
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
Shooter went that way!
Stay calm!
Guide the kids out of here!
Thank you, officer!
Thank you!
Over here.
Go, go, go, go!
are you taking me!
You smell like "loompiah"!
Oh, shit!
Let's cooperate!
Come on!
Be professional, boys.
We are at school.
Oh, hey, it's Ms. Kara!
I guess I'm safe.
You are not leaving, Richard.
You're a sweet boy.
This is all part of the plan.
It was never about the bake
sale or the happy lumpia.
We are offering you a
real work experience.
What are you doing?
Can't you feel this,
like, tension between us.
Throw him in the car seat.
[all speaking at once]
KARA: Let's get out of here.
Oh, hello.
[muffled scream]
[music playing]
DEANDRA: Is that Lumpia
Man's kryptonite?
You can't hit the ladies?
So you found us.
Now what?
The sniper has escaped,
Mr. Lumpia Man,
and framed you responsible
for assassinating the mayor.
You can't even talk.
How will you explain everything?
RACHEL: Because I'll talk
for him, Miss Manalo!
Miss Manalo is no
more, Ms. Magsaysay.
But I will miss this job.
This bag doesn't belong here.
You're supposed
to be on our side!
What did you do with Richard!
Mr. Lee is part
of Team Ninong now,
Lumpia Man, is it?
Not part of the plan.
What plan?!
He's right in there, Officer.
He's trying to attack
that poor girl.
Hands up!
Put it down.
And let her go.
She has nothing to do with this.
Help me!
I'm vegan!
I can feel the lumpia grease
seeping into my pores!
[coughs] I'm also allergic
to secondhand smoke.
We're still here.
Um-- Kuya?
[rachel yells]
RACHEL: Why did he let us go?
That was cray cray!
GEORGE: Again?
Couldn't you wait for me?
Look, man, you need to learn
how to control your anger.
Just because I call
you fool doesn't
mean you get to act like one.
Authorities have released a
sketch of the primary suspect.
Who is Loompiah Man and
what are his motives?
Fogtown is gripped with fear
and conflicted over their love
for the Filipino spring roll.
Well, the news is
definitely making me hungry.
GEORGE: Oh, they're looking for
Pacquiao instead.
own teacher framed
Kuya for shooting the mayor.
You're right, George.
This is bigger than all of us.
I am not going home until we
save Richard, clear Kuya's
good name, and save Fogtown.
They grow up so
fast, don't they?
(SINGING) I'm unstoppable.
Mayor Reynaldo is currently
recovering from chest trauma
caused by the eggroll attack
and by a sudden boost
in cholesterol.
Reporting to you live--
If he was taking the
Skinny Crab Powder,
he would have survived.
Mom, the Mayor is still alive.
James, did you get
a hold of Rachel?
She's not answering her phone.
I wish there was a way to
track her phone's location.
There is.
If you upgrade your
flip phone, silly.
Yes, son, you should!
MON MON: I'll just step outside
to get a better reception
and some fresh air.
Both of you, leave him alone!
Sponsored by Fogtown
High Spirit Squad?
KELLY: That was a
Kickfunder reward,
and the school donated their
gym to hold the reception.
ABBY: James loses
his job, yet you
can still afford this wedding?
VIRGIE: Very lucky.
Mrs. Kelly Magsaysay,
it doesn't sound too good.
You can do better.
[phone ringing]
Thank god!
Dad, I'm OK.
I got out in time.
How's Philbert?
How's he doing?
The news said that
the Mayor got shot,
but they have not mentioned
anything about Philbert.
Dad! Listen to me!
This is important.
Has my history
teacher Miss Manalo
reached out to you today?
Don't change the subject
on me, young woman.
GEORGE: They got him?
RACHEL: Sounds like it.
My dad's going to be OK.
He's going to be safe now.
[sighs] Let's go find Richard.
MON MON: Who is this?
[evil laughter]
Magsaysay, and now
that you're ready to die
or not ready to die--
[speaking filipino]
MON MON: Who is this?
-You need to
change your diaper?
Come on now, Mon Mon.
It's J'art now.
Oh, thank god it's
you guys, so I can
kick your asses Gangnam style!
The gang's all together
for the bachelor party, Kuya!
Where's Philbert?
We don't need
Councilman Killjoy here.
I'd rather have the
Lumpia Man here.
You know how to
stop the Lumpia Man?
You pancit, man!
Like punch it?
Good one, Ibing!
Not a good time for
this bachelor party!
Didn't you guys hear?
Lumpia Man tried to kill
both the Mayor and Philbert!
[magical sound]
-Stop being maarte, Mon Mon.
Touch me.
I won't touch you.
(indistinct) Let's move.
Let's go!
[music playing]
NARRATOR: As the pack went
off for a wild night downtown,
there was a big deal about
to go down across town.
Your sniper took down
the Mayor as planned.
My henchmen are trained
to be 100% efficient.
Now, where's my payment, Jemini?
Yes, of course.
As promised.
Happy taquitos.
[non-english speech]
The fire!
Looks good.
But does it pack the same punch
as my Happy Lumpia?
recipe is guaranteed
to make happy taquitos
the next big thing.
Yeah, hit that right.
Feel me?
Oh, hit it like a champ.
You got my primo money?
Now, that's a fine piece
of culinary art, Chef.
Yeah, you feel me?
We always take care of
our elite level members
loyal to Ninong's cause, Reyes.
This is the next big thing.
Mexican-Filipino food fusion.
It's like soy sauce and
salsa, getting married.
Yeah, yeah!
This is for La Raza!
La Raza!
Happy chicken
adobo quesadilla!
Happy sisig enchilada.
Happy pig blood burritos!
WOMAN: Dinuguan burrito?
You feel me, bro!
You feel me!
Y'all feel me?
Pig blood.
RACHEL: What's
happening over there?
Well, the homie Swift
Rock is spinning tonight.
Dollar beers, perfect
time to get some intel.
Can I go?
GEORGE: Nah, man.
You're underage.
But secret superhero tip--
people talk when they're faded!
Don't do that.
Yo Kuya, you got
that belt ready?
[music playing in headphones]
[romantic music]
[music stops]
What's wrong?
Are you FOB-whipped now?
In love with a FOB?
BRITNEY: Yeah, right.
You gotta be
punkin' us, right?
Oh, man, always a schemer, man.
Hey, you guys remember
FOB-bashing days
in high school?
Oh, man.
You Filipinos were so crazy.
Legendary, bro.
RANDY: We made so much money
with these Asian FOB nights
here, you know.
We turned FOB bash
into FOB cash!
Wait, wait, I
can't hear y'all.
It's a little loud in here.
Pager codes?
Y'all taking it back old school.
Bruh, I still carry mine, too.
Oh, yeah!
You know it!
I got mine!
Oh, man, I seem to have
forgot my pager at home.
Man, I always wanted to be
a part of your guys's crew.
I would dream about it, man.
Bump and Grind.
So G Dog, what's up, man?
I'm looking for something
maybe a little happy,
you know what I'm saying?
A little lumpia?
Oh, yeah!
That's code!
That's code for something.
Tyrone could hook that up.
Hey, Tyrone!
You got that underground
hookup, right, homes?
GEORGE: Yeah, what's up, blood?
You going to hook a
brother up or what?
Tyrone still
giving you shade, G?
I guess besties don't
stay besties forever.
[music playing]
NARRATOR: For Tyrone, DJ
Swift Rock was his true BFF.
And tonight was a rare chance
to give the champion one
last shoutout before he left.
It's me! Tyrone!
It's me, Tyrone!
I just wanted to say what's
up to my homie, Swift Rock.
Remember me?
Hey, come on, dawg!
You know you can't do that to
Man, you changed.
I changed?
Look at you, G-Dog.
What's a rich tech guy like
you running back to Fogtown
asking me for favors?
I thought I told you,
I'm off the game, blood.
(CHUCKLING) No, man.
You're still in the game, fool.
And we still Bump
and Grind crew.
[music playing]
You know, I don't know why
my boss doesn't like this song.
I don't understand a word
of it, but it is tight!
Yes, it is tight.
Maarte has many meanings.
Could mean finicky--
Or it could mean prissy.
Ooh, ooh.
Doctor, you're the best
chiropractor I've seen.
Don't move.
I said don't move!
What the hell is that?
The Chinese have
Chinese water torture.
Well, us Filipinos have
lumpia frying oil torture.
And your back is so
oily, it's perfect.
Why do you sound like Batman?
Is that Lumpia Man
that's doing that?
His name is Kuya, and I'm..
Ate Hero.
Those are stupid names.
It's Ate like big sister.
And Hero like anti-hero.
So Ate Hero.
[laughs] Who's gonna get that?
No one's gonna get that.
It's-- it's too Filipino.
Too Filipino?
OK, I'll make people understand.
You will tell
me everything you
know about your
other employer, Ninong.
What's his plan?
And where did they take
my friend, Richard?
You will recite 100
Our Fathers and 500
Hail Marys for your penance.
Aw, but that's
gonna take forever.
Oh, god!
I'll tell you whatever you want.
I'll do it, I'll
do it, I'll do it.
[upbeat music]
Sorry about that, Kuya.
I've never been
that angry before.
Is that what it's
like to fight crime?
You know, I'm an only child,
but now you're my Kuya, Kuya.
We definitely need more hugs
in these kinds of movies.
Hey, did you kids
still call this a--
a Kodak moment, or is it
like a smartphone moment now?
What's with the new truck?
Oh, we're switching it
up for the next mission.
You ready, fool?
Superheroes are always ready.
Let's do this!
Well, get ready to meet
your new teammate, Tyrone.
Yo, yo!
What's up, daughter
of Moon Moon.
Square up, man!
That's for my dad!
And for peeing on Philbert!
Is this a prank?
Who's filming?
Look at him.
He's not even fighting back.
Do you expect
me to hit a girl?
That bitch needs a leash!
Whoa, whoa, hey.
Let's just calm down, all right?
Look, look, this is
not the same Tyrone.
He's wearing skinny khakis, and
he's got his pink-ass shirt.
It's salmon, bro.
Bullies never change!
Hey, look, he's still got this
Color Me Badd fade under--
- Hey!
- All right.
Man, this fade
is still fly, G.
And why do we need this little
girl anyway to do a man's job?
So why do we need this pussy?
[cat meowing]
- Damn.
[freestyle music]
All right, we're here.
Bakery that makes
all the happy lumpia,
and Tyrone's going to get us in.
You can get us in there?
Yeah, inside your mama!
My mom hates you!
Then she never
told you the truth.
I am your father.
I'm just messing with you.
You'd be way prettier
if you were my kid.
- Oh--
- Hey, hey, hey!
Ay, look!
If we're going to take down
Ninong and his syndicate,
we're going to need to
learn how to work together.
Yo, this is some crazy-ass
operation you got here,
G. For real.
Yeah, it is.
The school guard said
the sniper came from here.
I could have told you that!
The bullets he used, they
call it the shredder,
made out of shredded pork.
I know for a fact that they
only make this kind of stuff
at the Bread Basket bakery.
Check, my girl
Merasol actually works
the night shift over there.
She can sneak us in the
back and into the kitchen.
Once we get in, we can
rescue your partner
and get the happy lumpia.
(RAPPING) I take my coat
off after a long day
of working and searching
for satisfaction and purpose
amongst distraction,
bursting enthusiasm to get
a chance to write a verse.
The challenge is
the circumstance
of everyone on this earth
spending like a nickel slipping
in the adolescent luck.
Ended up with a can of beer and
a pack of smokes and matches,
Chilling with my
brothers on the stoop,
talking politics,
economics, silly things,
and how our jobs the prob of us.
Tower, metal, pulling
like she loved me.
But in the back
is where the real
bread and butter is at.
- Why are you wearing that--
- What's good?
--napkin on your head?
What's up?
[laughs] Other than my dick--
Oh, my god.
Man, ignore this fool.
I'm Tyrone.
This is--
Killer Bee Sting.
Bee's my middle name.
What's your name, partner?
My name is Bob.
Go on.
He's already started.
You don't look like a Bob.
- Oh, hell.
Come on.
- You look more like a--
Come on, Killer Bee Sting.
You came here because
the rest of the world
refused to employ you.
Well, the Bread Basket
Bakery will give you a job.
You, you look like you're
getting ready to fight.
You, [laughs] baker.
He's gonna see
right through us.
He won't.
REYES: Henchman.
I'm gonna be a henchman.
And you, you're going to be
a baker because you're a FOB.
Your hands are soft,
like a croissant.
I ain't soft!
These hands are hard!
And they're about to use
them on you, old man!
Your eyes betray you.
You're bluffing.
Not the badass you once were.
Now, you.
I know you.
Your build-- look like a baker,
but your eyes, eyes are fierce.
It's because of
your soft hands.
Don't make me take
that caterpillar
off your face, badass.
MAN (ON INTERCOM): Henchmen,
report to the basement.
I ain't no fucking baker.
Got your uniform on?
OK, Kuya, we're inside.
Stand by.
What's cracking, dawg?
Only shipment tonight.
It means I get to go home early.
Oh, man.
What do you mean,
where's the shipment?
I'm supposed to pick
up the shipment, right?
Picking up what?
You're the one delivering
the bakery goods.
Oh, man, I thought
this was a bakery,
the Bread Basket Bakery.
I looked it up on Thomas Guide.
Oh, I wouldn't go
back there, man.
[muffled groan]
You got
knocked the lumpia out!
Reyes has chosen
you to be here.
[speaking spanish]
But now you're in
Santiago's house of pain.
Can anyone tell me
what style of fighting
Mexicans and Filipinos share?
Girl boy.
Boxing, sir.
Very correct.
--will help make you
efficient henchmen.
I heard Reyes has anointed
one of you a badass.
Badass present.
Killer Bee Sting in
the house of pain.
Oh, what?
Oh, come on.
Who let the little
boy in here, huh?
That's what I'm talking about.
Everybody, punch the person
next to you, as hard as you can.
Time out, time out.
Hey, my glasses.
Stop it, jeez!
Play along, dick!
You're really here?
What, are you here to
save me or something?
Richard, why'd you bail on me?
You couldn't bother to tell me
that you joined a bakery cult?
The detention
club probably saw
something menacing behind my
non-prescription glasses, OK?
Donkey Kong ain't
got nothing on me.
Trapper of the year, right?
[scoffs] We gotta bounce.
Mission Rescue
Richard was accomplished.
That way!
off to find the happy lumpia.
You ruined his hair.
That's all on you.
Hey, do you think
this is a trap?
This feels a little shady.
[laughs] That's what
I'm talking about.
Let's go.
[epic music]
That was your superhero
gear-up montage.
[music playing]
The exit's that way!
But the happy
lumpia is that way.
No, it ain't!
It ain't here, blood.
But the bun inside
here is the bomb!
You're the pee pee bully, right?
That's Tyrone to you, fool.
You said this bakery was
known for their shredder lumpia.
They are, but they make
the happy lumpia elsewhere.
Where, Tyrone?
the lumpia man is here.
It is time.
[tense music]
What are you guys doing here?
[epic music]
Holy crap.
This is cray-cray!
BUFFY: (SINGING) Everything's
so picture perfect.
Nothing's left unsaid.
George, there's no
happy lumpia here.
(SINGING) Baby, it
took this long--
I know.
Um, welcome to the
lumpia showcase.
(SINGING) To lose you, boy.
Ba, ba, ba, baby.
Ba, ba, ba, baby.
GEORGE: This is what
I call Boomerang Boom.
Is this what you do
now for a living, G?
Hey, yo, dawg.
Kids make apps.
I make lumpia tech hella fly.
(SINGING) Baby, it took this
long for me to find you.
I'm not about to lose--
Now check this out.
Shanghai Surprise.
I have no words.
You didn't get paid for this?
Hey, yo, Kuya!
Let's roll out, dawg.
Let's go.
[dramatic music]
Yo, the truck is this way.
Hey, yo.
You guys good?
I'm out of here, man.
My job is done.
I got you guys in here.
Hey, man, we were
a good team, right?
Bump and grind crew.
Yo, I don't need this
stress in my life, bro.
I got a great job,
a hot girlfriend.
I'm out.
But Fogtown's in trouble.
This is that moment
of truth for Tyrone where
he can finally prove he
has turned a new leaf.
That's cute, but let
me tell you how it is.
Trouble is always around, and
I don't do nothing for free.
Whoa, whoa.
Wait, where's he going?
He's our secret weapon.
Super Pee-Pee Man, right?
Rachel, listen to me.
Tyrone is wrong.
We are the good guys.
Believe that.
just like Detective Bayani
does on this fateful night.
Does your bakery make these?
'Cause that customized lumpia
almost killed the mayor today.
You can't eat that!
[music intensifying]
[epic music]
[dramatic music]
REYES: My bakery!
What happened to my bakery?
Lumpia Man!
You did this!
You're the one
everyone's talking about!
Well, no more!
Fogtown will remember
me, Taquito Boy!
[music intensifying]
Was that an earthquake?
It came from back there.
We're not leaving
Kuya here, are we?
Look, Kuya can
take care of himself.
Look, I need to get
both of you out of here
before it's too late.
Sorry, George!
Come on, Rachel!
I'm not leaving Kuya behind!
Well, I can't leave
without her, so.
All right, come
on, we can just--
OK, but it's all right to
leave George by himself.
Merasol, what happened?
[speaking filipino]
[pop music]
I don't care who.
Shit's about to go down.
We gotta go, yo.
[sighs] I always miss
the best food fights.
Historically, the barrel
was made transparent
so the Spaniards could
see if the Filipinos
were concealing a weapon.
I doubt they'd ever expect
food to be a weapon.
Is that Ms. Manalo?
Not anymore.
Now she's cosplaying as
some lame supervillain.
What's wrong?
Shooting blanks?
Is this some sort of
like skinny eggroll?
Shh, it's a taquito!
[chuckling] What
you just inhaled
is our brand new product--
--made by Bob here.
I, uh, took a weight loss
powder and made it better,
a hallucinogen that
triggers intense memories.
[laughs] I call it--
We call it "Happy
Crab Powder."
No, Kuya!
What are you doing?
Hello, Richard.
Hello, Rachel.
Hey, Miss Kara.
You all seek the
happy lumpia, right?
Well, it was never here.
[young rachel screaming]
Well, I can take you all there.
[gun cocks]
- Hands! Hands!
Show me your hands.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
[laughing] Hey, how do
you like my ube ensaymada?
[laughing loudly]
[laughing echoing]
[music playing]
(RAPPING) Yo, spending time
inside my inner thoughts.
(RAPPING) They think
I got the eyes on me.
Really, they're
just looking past.
[moody music]
(RAPPING) Everybody intuition.
Everybody thin-so-light.
What's up, man?
[moody music]
Why are they naked?
So they don't steal?
Nah, because that
shit hella funny, bruh.
Look, we have different
tastes in humor, chef,
because I find that hilarious.
[laughs] Instead of
spiders and bats,
he chooses an egg
roll as his symbol.
At least he has a
symbol he believes in!
He doesn't just change
it into some stupid drug!
This is a work of art.
[Indistinct] emoji!
He's talagang scary
RACHEL (VOICEOVER): Not as scary
as the first time Kuya took
matters into his own hands.
Is Ninong going to
get us more buyers?
MS. MANALO: Trust in Ninong.
He has a plan.
Your plan sucks ass!
Pretend to be a teacher
so you could sell
drugs to kids and chefs and--
And yours was better?
Team up with a known vigilante
and your father's high school
bullies to do what?
Dress like a man?
Steal all the happy
lumpia inside of a bakery?
Ha-ha, yeah, I'll
watch that movie, though.
You feel me?
You're all making
a big mistake.
Mistake, like you?
You were an accident that your
parents spent their whole lives
wondering what if.
And the only reason you
crowdfunded the wedding?
To feel worthy.
REPORTER (ON TV): --to replace
Mayor Reynaldo, who is still
recovering from the attack.
Councilman Philbert
Tolentino will
be sworn in tomorrow as the
youngest mayor of Fogtown.
ALL: Whoa!
Hey, it's our homie.
Mayor PP Philbert.
ALL: Cheers!
Man, it just means he
can't make it to my wedding.
Who said I can't make it
to your wedding, huh, guys?
ALL: Ooh!
Philbert, so you
got my invitation!
I don't need an invitation
to my best friend's wedding!
Oh, man!
What if I told you that
the next phase of the plan
involved your dad, Mon Mon?
And the sniper that
took down the mayor
is watching your daddy now.
Listen to me.
I'm serving you
notice right now.
You hurt my dad,
I'm coming for you!
Yeah, you go, Rachel.
I'm going to teach you
a lesson, Ms. Manalo.
Yeah, we're
going to tutor you.
And you're going
to regret everything
you've ever done, and--
and-- and I'm going to make
you pay with a vengeance!
And you're not going to like it!
I'm not feeling it.
You need a tagline.
CHEF: So we're making
little girls now cry, Jem?
What's next?
You're going to hit
her with your yo-yo?
Your ego has always
prevented your art
from being better, chef.
KARA: That's a shame.
See that belt over there?
It belongs to him.
Go sell it on eBay.
You can't get this
belt at Nordstrom Rack.
Preach this, Playboy.
What's this?
Something better.
And I made it.
It's called Happy Crab Powder.
And it's what brought
Lumpia Man down.
You made a powder,
and now you're a chef.
Happy Lumpia is
no longer needed.
Ninong is happy with
this new product.
So you are hereby relieved of
your duties as a head chef.
Oh, yeah, what?
I don't need your
services no more!
You'll be calling me
Ninong now because--
Meet Vengeance.
Go, man!
[children jeering]
Come on!
Let's go, go, go, go!
Let's get it!
Let's go.
[children jeering]
MAN: Lumpia Man here.
[children jeering]
Yo, bruh.
Why are you picking on me, man?
I'm just a chef, man.
Hold still.
I'm going to use the oil
to burn through your rope.
Wait, did you say "burn" and
"oil" in the same sentence?
RACHEL: Yeah, hit it!
CHEF: It was Jemini who
ordered the happy lumpia, man.
Man, leave me alone, man.
Ooh, I think we got it.
Kuya, no!
EMOJI: He stabbed me with my
favorite food.
Uh, OK.
Hold still.
I'm a lumpia lover, not
a lumpia fighter, bro.
Where did Kuya go?
Oh, no.
RICHARD: All right,
you're going to live.
It doesn't look too bad.
It's, uh, just
stuck in your shirt.
You're going to
be OK, all right?
You're good, man.
We got to hurry, Richard.
Kuya's under a spell.
Come on.
Let's go save my dad.
Guys, help me.
I need to pee.
RACHEL: You can hold it.
(NARRATOR): And just
like the Happy Lumpia empire--
Help me.
--it was time to let go.
[gasps] [crying]
Why are you so maarte?
Answer me!
[speaking Tagalog]
[speaking Tagalog] But
this girl, she never ages.
Don't forget.
We're forever young
because of our Asian blood.
Are we Asian or
Pacific Islanders?
I don't know.
I always check
the Caucasian box.
It's still Asian.
Chad, I can't even
remember the song!
The song gotta be here!
Mines and my boo, Kelly
Oh, no.
Kuya's having the
wedding butterflies.
I don't hear it in Kelly's eyes
She doesn't deserve me.
Yeah, she doesn't.
Same way you guys
don't deserve me.
That's not a
nice thing to say.
I'm singing over there, and
you guys are just ignoring me.
[scoffs] [speaking Tagalog]
English, Constancio.
This is America.
[speaking Tagalog]
Whatever, Jart.
Your song needs an
English version, too.
Why, you little--
Hey, come on, guys!
Just chill!
We're just celebrating!
Do you guys hear that?
My Ibing senses are...tinikling
You guys--
--are all still the
same, you know that?
Still stuck in your old ways.
supposed to kill you.
I'm supposed to kill you.
It's Pacquiao.
No, it's Lumpia Man.
He's trying to get me!
Oh, run!
[music playing]
Watch out!
And that's how you
beat the Lumpia Man.
You pancit, man!
Now you did it!
He's gonna come back.
MAN: Oh.
Oh, no.
MAN: Oh my god.
MAN: Holy moly.
MAN: Lumpia Man!
-Oh, shit.
MAN: That's him?
MAN: I--
You rock!
MON MON: You saved me again.
And you do smell like Coolwater.
[groans] [grunting]
MAN: Why did you smell him?
MAN: Guys, [groans].
Credit card swipe
MAN: No, not Ibing.
MAN: [groans]
Kuya, what are you doing?
MAN: Rachel?
I can feel his tight
muscles all over my body.
Kuya, this is not what you do.
Whatever memory you're reliving,
you can snap out of it.
[eerie music]
MAN: Come on, everyone.
(SINGING) Why are you so
(SINGING) Why are
you so maarte??
You love this song.
(SINGING) Why are
you so maarte??
Why are you so maarte?
[pop music]
[eerie music]
MAN: Oh, man.
MAN: You did it.
MAN: Is that hilot?
Oh my god.
It works.
How did you do that?
I need to download
that song now.
You definitely have
the touch, Uncle Jart.
MAN: Hey, welcome
back, Lumpia Man.
MAN: Woo.
[rap music]
RACHEL: We did it.
We're safe.
(SINGING) Way too
many times, I find--
Yeah, but what
about Miss Manalo's
like, crazy cosplay plan?
It's over.
We stopped her.
The only plan that matters
now is the wedding.
I just can't believe
you guys know him.
Where is Lumpia Man going?
His name is really Kuya.
And he's off to make one final
delivery to clear his name.
MAN: [laughs] I'll kill
everybody with my
ube ensaymada
[radio chatter]
[chuckles] You always had
this wicked sense of humor,
little brother.
You're still doing
this vow of silence?
Fighting crime with Lumpia?
as Kuya?
I'm the big brother
here, not you.
Or have you forgotten
your real name?
Joseph Bayani.
You look like you're
going to a wedding.
Enough already!
Our parents didn't get gunned
down in front of no theater.
I was the one that
was bullied, not you.
And I survived.
So you can-- you can drop this
whole Lumpia Man cosplay BS
and leave it to the
real crime fighters.
Joseph, you're embarrassing
your family name.
Bayani means hero,
not vigilante.
GEORGE: Man, this is a trip.
You all are like
brothers for real?
Well, why don't we just
pool our information
and catch Ninong together?
[exotic music]
[speaking Tagalog], all my
sexy Pinoys and Pinays..
I'm your host, emcee
Rico Da Funkalicious.
[exotic music]
(SINGING) She takes me to a
place I've never been before.
You feel like you're dreaming.
Is everything sponsored now?
RACHEL: Everything can
be bought nowadays.
If not for them, there
would be no food, no guests,
not even a band.
--to sleep at night.
You think all these guests
are part of my kick funder?
Got to be your rock.
Oh, look hella shady.
Do I look shady enough?
RACHEL: Oh my god, Ross.
You're here?
I am one of the kick funders.
So why not come take
advantage of the rewards?
RICHARD: Oh, please.
RACHEL: Oh my gosh.
RICHARD: All right?
(SINGING) Better
than all the rest.
Can you feel my heart thumping,
thumping, thumping for you?
She makes me so
weak in the knees.
Hey, aren't you Filipino?
And now, let's get ready
for the sweet grand entrance,
brought to you by Pinoy
Printing for all your
binding and reproduction needs.
Now I'm talking about the
paper, not what's going
to happen on the wedding night.
[dance music]
(SINGING) Another
chance to love again.
Another day that will not end.
More than us all.
[gasps] Tyrone Loreto?
Abby, are you part
of this event?
You do know whose
wedding it is, right?
Yeah, it's Magsaysay.
It's Magsaysay.
Oh, wait.
You know him as The Fob, right?
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr.
and Mrs. James Magsaysay!
NARRATOR: Or the only name
he's ever known him as.
[dance music]
Mon Mon?
[dance music]
[piano music]
KELLY: Oh, hi.
James, right?
That's me.
Do you want to dance?
Dance with me?
Oh, sure.
Okey dokey.
I mean, yes, I'll be
glad to dance with you.
(SINGING) I never felt this way.
Even though I went a thousand
years without knowing you, girl.
Shut the front door.
Oh, hell.
You're not getting
your Tyrone on no more?
Shut the back door.
Credit card swipe.
See what you made me do?
Y'all childish!
MAN: Chad did say the back door.
(SINGING) Because I never, no,
never felt this way before.
Then it just confirms he was
never a friend to begin with.
[dramatic music]
NARRATOR: First order of
business, pronounce the F's.
Friends, family, Fogtown.
NARRATOR: Nailed it!
This week, we launch our
Fight the Bully campaign.
And coincidentally, we
captured the biggest
bully of all, Lumpia Man!
We will be introducing
an ordinance to ban the use
of food used as a weapon.
AUDIENCE: [cheering]
Stop playing with
your food, Fogtown.
What's your problem, pare?
Why the [bleep]
didn't you tell me that
we were doing this wedding?
I hate these guys.
Merasol, let's get out of here.
What the hell are
you doing here, Tyrone?
I'm working.
This is my job.
And you just happen to be
working at my parents' wedding?
[speaking filipino]
She just called you dumb.
You speak her language?
[romantic music]
What? Merasol?
What the hell?
[singing in filipino]
I can taste you.
Shut up, you fob.
[punches] All you stupid
fobs always get in my way!
Just leave me alone!
[dramatic music]
[laughs] Right.
Thank you.
Playing Benvolio at the academy
has prepared me for this
once in a lifetime role.
What is happening here?
You were right, Ms. Magsaysay.
This is no coincidence.
Tyrone is under the influence
of our Happy Crab Powder.
That's the thing, we
never got the chance
to feed him the powder.
Please don't ruin
my parents' wedding.
Why would we ruin
your father's wedding?
Your father's wedding
is a profitable venture
for all of us.
It's time for Ninong to cash in.
MAN: Oh.
MAN: You hit me up on the pager.
Hey, what's up, Tyrone?
Damn, bump and grind
crew in the house.
[all greeting]
The party inside, blood.
We got to bring it back
and remind ourselves.
Remind ourselves of what?
That we can do better.
Put them in they place.
Show them what's up.
Who's them?
Them's the people who took
our respect away from us.
Them's the people are not
even from this country and act
like they belong here.
You know what?
I declare this night
Fob Bashing Night.
Let's go kick some Fob ass.
Come on!
Fob ass!
Come on!
MAN: Let's go!
[romantic music] I
give you my heart.
[baby cries]
That's an awful video.
I can do it so much better.
Dad, relax.
He is right.
There's not enough pictures
of me in the video.
Yeah, how come I'm not there?
Who are you?
I'm a kick funder backer.
If it wasn't for
my $5, this wedding
would have not have existed.
You're all wrong!
This wedding wouldn't
happen if it weren't
for Kelly feeling bad
about Mon Mon getting
his ass kicked by me, Tyrone.
I gots the bouquet. [sniffs]
And I got the cake.
GIRL: Hey.
MAN: Hey.
MAN: Hey, give it back.
No, no, no, no.
No, Tyrone.
This isn't high
school anymore, Tyrone.
What did you even
see in Mon Mon, Kelly?
His name means butt twice.
He's nobody.
I'm the better man.
You're the bitter man.
MAN: Why, you little--
MAN: Come on.
[dramatic music]
GIRL: Are-- are
they play fighting?
This is awesome.
What a show.
Come on.
[upbeat music]
I can do better.
(SINGING) They must
give a whole time sing.
Sing with the keys.
Broke to the Es.
Let the first five break.
Oh my gosh.
This is happening.
kick funder may have
brought us all here together.
But our Happy Crab Powder
brought out their true colors.
Hey, Rachel.
I didn't know Filipino weddings
had a steel cage fight.
NARRATOR: More like the
main event of wedding mania.
RACHEL: No, leave
my family alone.
[all yelling]
- Rachel, don't!
You're dealing with
the real Tyrone now,
daughter of Mon Mon.
JEMINI: Welcome back, Tyrone.
Ninong has been
waiting for all of you.
world of underdogs,
he's the biggest dog of them
all, his identity a secret
until now.
Ladies and gentlemen,
here he is.
Santo Ninong.
JEMINI: Mabuhay, Ninong.
Philbert, you made it.
I knew you would come.
You're the new Ninong?
And achieve maximum ability.
Hence, from this day forth, you
shall call me not just Mayor
Philbert, but Santo Ninong.
[laughs] Hey,
oh, you're serious?
I've always been serious.
And now you will all bear
witness upon my vengeance
upon him Tyrone.
There's turon?
Tyrone Loreto.
Who, me?
He's the big plan?
This was a plan five
years in the making
for my sweet Philbert.
[licks cheek]
Yes, my sweet Jemini.
I was saved by Ninong.
He took me in, paid for
my college education,
bought all my elections so
I can become council man.
That's the reason why
I didn't vote for him.
MAN: How's it taste, fob?
PHILBERT: And he even
okayed my master plan to get
back at the man who bullied me.
I got my whole crew here.
And we about to
take you all out.
Sorry, Tyrone, I got a curfew.
I got to take my family
to church in the morning.
It's getting late.
It's about 8:00 PM.
This was fun, though.
Peace, man. Good luck with this.
MAN: Hit us up when
you want to chill next.
I don't need them.
And no one can take Tyrone out.
already have, Tyrone.
I've controlled your
life this entire time.
Every job you held
was set up by us.
Every woman you dated, we paid
them to date you and then dump
you, even Merasol.
Our love was fake?
[romantic music]
[singing in filipino]
Philbert, you
became the new Ninong
and the new mayor of Fogtown
just to get back at Tyrone?
But that's the kind of Oldboy
shit Philbert would do.
MAN: Ooh.
MAN: There's my loaded gun.
don't control me.
I control my own life.
I've waited an
eternity for this moment
in front of all my friends.
It's a water gun.
[cocks gun] Tyrone, I anoint
you the new Pee Pee Herman.
Perfect timing, Kuya.
[dramatic music]
Let's do this, Avengers style!
Oh, did we miss dinner?
Wait, you on the bride's side?
Or are you on the groom's side?
We aren't taking any
more wedding guests.
GEORGE: But I just
came for the cake.
And I brought a plus one.
I was hoping to
catch that garter.
[laughs] For real?
Ain't nobody want the garter.
I do.
I was hoping to be the
center of attention.
I'm single, OK?
Police, she went that way.
Stay calm.
Guide the kids out of here.
You will not ruin our plan.
Oh, no!
[cocks gun] Hands.
- Oh!
- Hands.
Show me your hands.
[laughs] Yeah, what's up?
Are-- are you
recording us right now?
Oh, oh.
I know my rights, Copper.
[chuckles] You going viral.
No one's going to shoot you.
All right?
Let us through.
And we're good.
Oh, yeah?
Man, my phone's got 10 times
better pixel resolution
and three times optical zoom.
In your face.
Are you serious right now?
Got your back, Jack.
Because you know crack is wack.
PHILBERT: Ay, stop him.
You fool.
This is your fault, you know.
You didn't save me that day.
You saved them.
[dramatic music]
Philbert was weak.
There's only me now, Ninong.
MAN: Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
Yo, yo, why are you here, G.
Man, I got your page.
I brought Popo.
Where's the mayor, Mr. Loreto?
- He's right there!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Arrest him!
Shoot him!
Mr. Mayor.
Hey, there's no need.
I'll be doing the
shooting here, huh?
Put the gun down.
[laughs] That's
just a water gun.
No, no, no, no, no,
it's a pee pee gun.
Say what?
Say hello to my yellow friend.
Oh, hell no!
Goddamn safety.
Oh, no.
MAN: You're supposed
to serve and protect!
I'm union, man.
I don't mess with urine.
JEMINI: Revenge against Tyrone
was Philbert's plan.
We have a better plan.
Feeling bloated after
devouring a wedding buffet?
That's me, y'all.
That's because you
forgot to sprinkle this,
Happy Crab Powder Version 2.0.
Buy it now.
Everyone, don't
look at the screen.
The powder burns
all those calories.
It also stimulates your mind.
Everyone, close your eyes!
You, you, you can do better.
Shave off the pounds.
RACHEL: You got to
fight the powder.
Eat all you want.
BOB (ON TV): Do better
than all those haters.
We take all
methods of payment.
JEMINI: Select.
BOB (ON TV): If you
don't purchase now--
And reject.
--we reserve the
right to kick your ass.
[rap music] I am the
APL, puttng out an APB.
Turn them speakers off.
Kuya, no!
BOB (ON TV): But hurry
before they're all gone.
You picked the wrong food
to mess with, Ms. Manalo.
BOB (ON TV): Better
than our competition.
(SINGING) So get
up off your seat.
No one messes with my family.
WOMAN: Want to hear a joke?
How do you defeat Lumpia?
You pancit.
(SINGING) It's an emergency.
They call him--
[grunting] [shouts]
You are the best.
(SINGING) Mother fun.
Boom, clap, boom.
I know you want to hear that.
Look, Ms. Magsaysay.
They all love our
new product more
than this sham of a wedding.
Everyone else sucks.
(SINGING) Making them feet hot.
They're practically begging
Bob to take their money.
I take plastic too.
But giving us cash saves
us extra finance fees.
(SINGING) So welcome
to my terrordome.
(SINGING) Kneel down
to my microphone.
No way. I got you, Rachel. You
can't do that.
(SINGING) Slamming like dominos.
So leave me alone.
You're going to pay
for that, young buck.
Paper or plastic?
MAN: Credit cards.
Hey, Bob.
Wait a minute.
You just went over
your credit limit.
(SINGING) Boom, clap.
I know you want to hear that.
Airwrap from the app.
Rocking it real fat.
Nonstop beat drop.
Higher like--
(SINGING) Making them feet hop.
Where the fuck the beat drop?
RACHEL: Told you.
Nobody messes with my family.
Now who's going to protect
you from all of them?
They realize real
value when they see it.
DJ, do your thing.
[dance music] Let
the dancing begin.
Turn it up.
My god.
MAN: Greed isn't
good, Miss Manalo.
No, no, no, not this song.
(SINGING) Listen now.
[singing in filipino]
(SINGING) This is your life.
No, no, no.
MAN: [singing in filipino]
WOMAN: Good night, Lumpia Man.
MAN: [singing in filipino]
[singing in filipino]
[singing in filipino]
You keep on acting so, so cold.
Want to run away.
I just want to, heaven
only knows the--
Yeah, wow, man.
Kuya, that was pretty good.
You ever consider a
future career in MMA?
(SINGING) Why'd you do it
Why you so Maarte!
Help me.
No, no, no, close your ears.
Close your ears.
Close your ears.
(SINGING) Because
you think you're so maarte--
No, no, no!
(SINGING) Masyado kang maarte
what.. Ninong? No, no, no.
[singing in filipino]
And I need some cash.
[singing in filipino]
Ang face like this.
Pag someone's so Ma'arts like
So Maarte!
Why you so maarte?
And you think you're so maarte?
Yeah, I shout
from my heart, yeah.
Help me!
I am better than all of you.
I'm melting.
I'm melting.
Don't move, Miss Manalo.
I've got the
perfect tagline, mom.
You're history, Ms. Manalo.
Oh, come on.
You know your real
history, Ms. Magsaysay.
Your family doesn't
care about you.
Where's your father now?
He cares more about saving
his friend than his own blood.
[laughs] Remember, Ms.
Magsaysay, you can do better.
Don't let this skinny piece
of beefcake mislead you, Tyrone.
I've been training karate.
Yeah, a suck fu master
in lame jujitsu, fob.
[shouts] [groans]
You still call me a fob, huh?
I don't think you
really heard me.
I have more money.
I have fame.
I have more lovers
and more juice.
So you like my pee pee?
My pee pee is better
than your pee pee.
MON MON: Philbert.
- [groans]
Got to stop now!
Take a picture, Mon Mon.
As your mayor, I say command it.
As your mayor, you're supposed
to be my best friend, Philbert.
You're supposed
to be here for me!
MON MON: [groans] Ow.
You deserve this
as much as he does.
No. Being bullied does not mean
you become a bully, OK?
[breathes heavily] It means--
RACHEL: You fight a bully!
PHILBERT: [groans] Son of a gun.
I'm a daughter.
And this is a gun.
What's wrong, Ninong?
You don't recognize
your sniper's gun?
And this, you call this happy?
Lumpia, really?
Rachel, is that a gun?
Don't worry, dad.
I'm just holding him down
until the cops get here.
She thinks she's a hero.
But she's a mistake.
Tell her, Mon Mon.
I'm not a mistake.
PHILBERT: That's what you are.
If you weren't ever born,
Your father and I will
still be best friends.
You're the mistake for
being my real godfather.
Instead, you become
some wannabe crime boss.
And for what?
Rachel, put the gun down.
You tried to
destroy my family.
You already
destroyed your family.
They all had dreams.
Your mother was supposed
to go to college in Japan.
Your father dreamed of
owning a shoe company.
What-- what was the name of
that-- of that shoe, Mon Mon?
Oh, yeah, Mon Mon Walkers.
[claps] [chuckles]
You didn't tell me that.
Moon moon walking.
MON MON: That's right.
So I was a mistake?
No, no, erase what I said.
You can't erase the
truth, that your parents'
lives would have been better.
MON MON: Don't listen to him.
None of that matters.
If he doesn't matter,
then he needs to go.
Rachel, don't!
What is it, dad?
Are you still protecting him?
What is the future
you truly wanted?
Is it me or him?
You would pick him?
Look at him.
All of his friends
abandoned him.
His gang even left him.
You know what?
The truth is, no
one would miss you.
And that makes me
better than you.
MON MON: Rachel, no.
My name is James.
KELLY: Oh, hi.
I'm Kelly.
JAMES: Yeah.
KELLY: I'm not a
[echoes reverberating]
And in one turn,
Kuya gave her a memory
she needed to see.
MON MON: Rachel, are you OK?
I'll-- I'll take that.
Thank you.
You really need to work on this.
Putting food in people's
mouths is real childish, Kuya.
MON MON: Oh, thank god.
Oh, wait, he's gone.
PHILBERT: [laughs]
Where's Tyrone?
[laughs] I still win.
I got my vengeance.
I am master of the universe.
I am Santo Ninong.
[chuckles] Well, there's
only one Santa Ninong.
[upbeat music]
You know, the egg
rolls here are great.
OK, I'm sorry.
The Lumpia, it's delicious.
Even to die for.
My shout out to the chef.
[chuckles] Thanks for
being my friend, Richard.
NARRATOR: The police start
to clear out the gym.
And for a moment, we can
keep the real wedding.
No sponsors.
No crashers.
Just the people that matter.
[pop music]
[phone rings]
[laughs] You got
my henchman, Jemini.
You are definitely
a winner, Reyes.
Too bad we can't say the
same about poor Philbert.
I like the other guy.
In the pen, most
of the Filipinos
end up being Mexicans.
[laughs] [growls]
NARRATOR: We live in a world
where people crave power.
But, Tyrone, too often, we
feel powerless to control
even our own destiny.
[hip hop music] Yeah, yeah,
don't take it personal.
My dose is clarity.
Surrounded by these trees
and greens inside of me.
My space is hella sacred.
My energy, I'm saving.
My piece that I'm protecting.
No time for me to fake it.
If I don't [bleep] with
you, it's nothing personal.
[school bell rings]
(SINGING) It's undeniable.
MON MON: Caught you.
Cutting class again?
Chill out, dad.
I'm not cutting class.
I'm just-- I got
a quick job to do.
No, you chill, OK, while
I'm trying to do my job here
as the new head of security.
Ah, get out of here.
I got you, Rachel.
I got you too.
Thanks, dad.
[footsteps approaching]
MON MON: You're my hero.
You're my hero.
MON MON: Ok, be careful.
Go get them, Rachel.
Your secret's safe with me.
[rock music]
REPORTER: Mayor Reynaldo
has returned to his position
in high spirits after being
discharged from the hospital
earlier this week.
He'll be presenting the Valor
Award to Detective Jerome
Bayani for his brave role
in capturing Lumpia Man
and uncovering an underground
drug trade and an alleged ponzi
scheme, all part
of a councilman's
revenge plot to urinate
all over Filipino R. Kelly.
AUDIENCE: [cheering]
want to dedicate this award
to my guardian angel.
My angel may be
hardheaded and stubborn.
He may even think
he's a big brother.
But he's the real hero.
Oh, come on, man.
it means accepting
the new hero inside of us.
[horn honks]
As long as we have a team
always ready to answer the call,
we're not in it alone.
[dramatic music]
Because it's only together as a
team that we can all do better.
[rap music] There's some
crazy Filipinos in here.
Hell, yeah.
From the jungle, yeah,
the savage is real.
Hell, yeah.
There's some crazy
Filipinos in here.
Hell, yeah.
From the jungle, yeah,
the savage is real.
Savage is real.
Thinking you winning.
But no, you ain't winning.
They running the shit right now.
And since the beginning
was taught to pretend.
So we bleaching
our skin white now,
because even my roots
is the product of when
they were killing our kin.
Wiped out.
Our pressure from systems
that's holding the power.
They cutting again right now.
But if they mispronounce
my name again,
I make them taking every
single syllable over again.
And so never say my
name if you're thinking
you never can because
my name is a part of me.
It will be something
I will defend.
So if you cross me, you
went in the crosshairs.
Crossing you.
But when I'm tossing the bars,
they're twisting their face
like they mispronounce names.
And I'm tearing them down.
I'm not stopping my reign.
Flow so cold.
Going off from the top so pro.
Break them off when
the bars go blow.
And we'll stop and go.
When this beat get him coughing.
So I'm a problem spot and
slow like a sharp blow low.
When I'm talking,
they all get froze.
I'm like, talk.
And yes, I throw.
Hella profit flows.
It's approximate toxic dose.
When I got this, I drop it.
So keep it robbed.
They know, because they
plot until they stop. That's
When they search
up your pockets,
so ain't no options though.
Better run when the odds go low.
Get your arm in
the lock and hold.
Hope you say tenfold.
I'll be boxing.
They lock your soul until you
rot and you've lost control.
And they profit, though.
All these pigs,
they be plotting,
yo, when these kids
hit the target.
Oh, it's a constant flow.
[upbeat music]
This brother screams, Hero.
Look at him.
Cheekbones of a hero.
This is a dark-skinned
Chuck Norris.
This brother knows
everything, karate, kung fu.
He was in "Karate Kid"
in the background.
ACTOR: Keep on looking.
Keep on looking.
[laughs] What the
[bleep], Kelly?
Oh, sorry.
ACTOR: [laughs]
[laughs] Action.
What kind of drugs?
ACTOR: Dang it.
This is your one line.
ACTOR: Dang it.
Be happy I didn't
use the P card.
Chip card.
The pee pee card.
We got to break down this--
I-- we-- [bleep] hell!
All right!
[crew chatter]
[crew chatter]
Oh, shit.
[crew chatter]
CREW: All right.
Dang it.
Almost went in my mouth.
ACTOR: Laughing at me.
Mon Mon.
[pop music]
But that's the kind
of old shit old--
But that's the kind of old
boy Philbert shit would do.
I mean, passwords--
[all speaking at once]
My sweet.
I'm going to lick you.
Who's he?
Yes, you are.
We've talked about this.
[pop music]
Do you got any grapes?
CREW: [laughs]
[crew chatter]
Don't be lazy.
Get up!
You're fine.
It's supposed to
be Kelly's line.
And she's supposed to say--
CREW: Yeah, this isn't high
school anymore, Tyrone.
This isn't high
school anymore, Tyrone.
Sound exactly alike.
[pop music] On the edge.
Don't make me wait.
ACTOR: Fail.
You're fired.
Get out.
[crew chatter]
[all speaking at once]
I'm staring deeply
into his eyes.
CREW: That's, kind
of-- kind of--
[rap music] Turn
them speakers up.
So you can hear me speak.
You know I'm on this
beat like lions I am me.
I am the iron Mike Tyson.
Knock you off your feet.
So get up off your seat.
[laughs] That
was the new thing.
(SINGING) We set
the roof on fire.
Oh, so you're an actor?
You are-- you're an actor.
[crew chatter]
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
niggers call the--
Ah, goddamn it!
I want to work
for professionals.
(SINGING) I know you
want to hear that.
[phone rings]
Airwrap from the app.
Rocking it real fat.
Who's calling?
[crew chatter]
Who is calling?
OK, mark the footwork.
(SINGING) I am the APL, a.k.a.
I am the new format.
Call me an AP3.
You know all my songs.
You got them on repeat up
in the club with your booty
shaking, riding the beat.
I keep it jumping, jumping.
Yes, it is missing something.
I'm seriously the sickest
thing that you seen coming.
I spit that kerosene.
Lyrically, mic is hot.
I bring that gasoline so
I can blow up the spot.
Boom clap.
Boom clap.
I know you want to hear that.
Airwrap from the app.
Rocking it real fat.
Non-stop beat drop.
Fire like heat rock.
Making them feet hot.
Where the fuck the beat drop?
Whenever the beat drop, it's
too hard for me to be stopped.
I'm too cold not to be hot.
I'm too bold not to be rocked.
This is too hard to be bop.
I'm too open to be lock.
Too much skin for
me to be stopped.
Too much culture to be shocked.
So welcome to my terrordome.
Kneel down to my microphone.
I don't play.
I am the game.
Slam it down like dominoes.
So bring me along.
The heat is on.
We about to shut it down.
When the beat is on, I'm
going to bring it on.
I'm about to move the crowd.
Boom clap.
Boom clap.
I know you want to hear that.
Airwrap from the app.
Rocking it real fat.
Non-stop beat drop.
Fire like heat rock.
Making them feet hot.
Where the fuck the beat drop?
[upbeat music]