Man of a Thousand Faces (1957) Movie Script

Good morning, Mr. Thalberg.
Good morning.
Good morning, Irving.
Hello.
Hello. George.
Right this way, Irving.
The actor is
a very special human being.
There are only a few who
possess his peculiar magic,
that extraordinary ability
to make us feel,
to lift us out
of our own existence
and make us believe
in the world of make believe.
I am speaking of
the great ones now,
those that audiences
have selected and set apart.
Some no longer here to enchant you,
but, well, will always be remembered.
We cannot replace these personalities.
There can only be one of each,
born out of their own
personal joys and sorrows.
Life shapes them
in wondrous ways.
Often beautiful, sometimes
with flaws, but all quite rare.
Such a one was Lon Chaney.
With his God-given talent, he did
more than just portray 1,000 faces.
He illuminated certain dark
corners of the human spirit.
He showed the world
the souls of those people
who are born different
from the rest.
To understand why he was destined for
this, we would only have to go back
to any day in his boyhood, in
the town of Colorado Springs.
Not a very easy boyhood,
for his parents
were different.
Lon! You've been
fighting again.
Ma and Pa don't care if kids
make fun of them, why should you?
Go play with your dolls!
What happened?
It's always the same,
isn't it?
I better go help.
Don't be angry. Feel sorry for
those who do not understand like you.
They're no good!
Go wash.
Lon! Hey, Chaney!
Stone wants you!
Tell him I'll be there
in a second.
What's up?
Ask the boss!
Listen to them, they're
stamping holes in the floor.
Where's Cleva?
Dressing.
One song. One song, while we
get set up for the acrobats,
and she's never ready. I paid
a lot of money for this curtain.
I pay your wife
to stand in front of it.
All right,
you made your point.
She holds us up again,
she's through!
Cleva, sweetheart.
I know, I know.
I'm late again.
Take it easy, now. Easy.
All right, hurry up!
Now, it's all right,
sweet, we'll fix it.
It's ruined.
We'll fix it. We'll fix it.
Never mind. Never mind.
That does it.
She's out!
What are you doing?
You want somebody
in front of that
very expensive curtain,
don't you?
You've already been on.
That's more like it.
That stays in.
You like the bit?
Well, here, it's yours,
you can have it.
Hey, Lon!
Lon, we can
talk this over.
I'm sorry, sorry.
You fired her,
you fired me.
That piker!
Paying us off in potato peelings
and wanted us to take a $10 cut.
Well, I wish you
could have heard me.
I told him.
Lon, you didn't quit?
We both quit.
We're gonna get off this wreck
before it goes down with all hands.
It's because of me,
isn't it?
Uh-uh-uh.
Don't let those get on the floor.
Be over our heads in no time.
Lon, what're we going to do?
There are other shows,
and maybe we can land in a dressing room
where we won't have to wear hip boots.
Maybe San Francisco.
Why San Francisco?
The offer you got
from Kolb and Dill.
I found the telegram
in your suit.
They didn't want me, either, did
they? That's why you turned it down.
We can have
Kolb and Dill anytime.
We can do better.
Leave it to me.
Take it, Lon.
Wire them tonight.
You want me to?
Hmm? You sure?
In a few months I won't have
much of a specialty anyway,
unless they'd like to
watch me folding diapers.
Sweetheart. Sweetheart.
This is wonderful! Wonderful!
Your feet dry?
Wait till the folks
hear about this.
What a Christmas present.
I'll wire them tonight.
Why not tell them, instead?
Tell them?
I want to meet
your family, Lon.
Well, but... Yeah,
but we haven't got time.
We gotta get to the coast.
We've got a whole week.
They didn't want you till
after the first of the year.
And I want to make this
Christmas special,
in a home, instead of a hotel room.
Yeah, sure, I know,
but you see, sweetheart...
Lon, is it me?
Are you ashamed
to take me home?
Now, what kind of talk
is that?
Well, then, please.
You're supposed to humor
an expectant mother, you know?
Yeah, well,
if that's what you want,
home we go.
Lon, I'm scared.
They're gonna
love you very much.
Just remember that. Hey!
Welcome to Colorado Springs!
Cleva, my brother, John.
Hello.
Say, you're the prettiest Christmas
present anybody ever brought home.
I said that at the train.
How'd you get so lucky?
She found me
on her door step.
Good to see you.
Let me help you.
No, I'll get them.
Lon. Oh, Lon.
Well, how's my
favorite sister?
Your only sister's
just fine.
Well, here she is, Carrie.
Lon didn't exaggerate
in his letters.
She's lovely.
Hi.
Hi.
Hey, look here, now.
Look here. Hmm?
I was in a show once called
Ring In The Dawn.
Folded in three nights. They
paid me off with the bell.
Folks around?
Out on a shopping spree.
They wanted to get
something special for Cleva.
They shouldn't
have done that.
No way to stop them.
After all, they don't meet a
new daughter-in-law every day.
Here, let me take your things.
Lon, you've got your old room back.
George and I are doubling up.
Just like old times.
Yeah, he snores worse than ever.
What a Christmas this is gonna be.
For you.
Hey!
Got it?
Yeah.
Here.
I'm not the only
hoofer in the family.
The folks won this
in a waltz contest.
It's beautiful.
It was the proudest
night in our lives.
How are they? No different,
Lon. Great! You know.
Is Christmas
always like this?
Like what? To the right.
You know, so much fuss, so warm.
Always that way
with the Chaneys.
Not with the Creightons.
Ma hired out.
Holidays, she'd
work her hardest.
I used to wait up for her, and we'd
pretend there was a tree in the corner
with a lot of presents
wrapped in red ribbons.
Sweetheart, from here in,
it's all gonna be red ribbons.
Tell me, you ever done any lake
fishing through a hole in the ice?
Never fished in my life.
Never fished in your life?
Well, it's about time
you got started.
You can't be admitted
to the Chaney clan
until you've caught
your first mountain trout.
Well, anyway, I can try.
What is it?
Folks are coming.
I didn't hear anything.
I did.
Cleva...
Hmm?
Cleva, my mother and father.
How do you do?
Dinner's ready.
Cleva.
Lon, they're deaf...
Cleva! Please.
Don't let them
see that look. Please.
Grace.
Dear God, bless this
food and this house.
And thank you for the gift
of your son and my sons.
And for my daughters.
Amen.
Amen.
Pa says it's for the wandering
son to slice the bird.
All right, well, let's
see, now. No prompting.
Now, Mom, white meat. Dad,
dark, and heavy on the gravy.
John and Carrie,
drumsticks or wings,
and George, because you're
the baby of the family,
Last part over the fence.
What's wrong?
Cleva.
Why didn't you
tell me, Lon?
I wanted to, sweetheart.
I tried, but I was scared.
I tried, but I couldn't.
All right, all right, I'll tell you.
I couldn't, because I thought
it would be the end of us.
Because I was afraid
to lose you.
I thought if you saw them, just
another family, like any other...
Was it that hard
to look at them, Cleva?
I couldn't stand it.
Why? Because
they're different?
Because they can't speak?
Does that make them freaks?
Don't shout, Lon!
They can't hear me!
What did you expect of me?
That I was going to accept
things all in a minute?
You grew up with them.
They've talked to me
all my life.
With their hands!
Yes, I can hear them.
I've always heard them.
Then ask them about my baby.
Ask them what my baby's going
to be like. Will it be like them?
It's in your blood, Lon.
It can happen again!
I don't want to have it!
I don't want to have it!
I don't want to be
mother to a dumb thing!
You don't understand. It's your
responsibility to tell your wife.
Are you afraid? Or ashamed? You
must ask your wife to forgive you.
Words are not important.
Now!
I'm sorry, sweetheart.
It was all my fault.
Mom is right,
I should have told you.
Cleva, please
try to understand.
This didn't start
just tonight.
All my life, I've had it. All
my life, it's been the same.
Kids tagging after my father
and mother, making signs,
yelling, "Hey, dummy!
Hey, dummy!"
So proud they could speak,
they had to be cruel.
Until I was eight, I
never talked in the street,
just to make them think I couldn't,
and when they yelled at me,
I paid them back
for my father and mother,
and I grew up
paying them back.
Cleva, can you
ever forgive me?
It doesn't matter.
Sweetheart, our baby's gonna
be all right. You'll see.
Why, we've got a houseful of voices
here. John, Carrie and George.
It didn't happen to any of us, and
it won't happen to our kid, either.
Believe me.
Cleva, sweetheart,
I want that baby.
I don't.
But I'll have it.
Thanks.
Good.
Fair.
Magician?
Press agent.
I'm Lon Chaney.
Oh, yes, yes. We've been waiting for you.
I'm Clarence Locan.
I'll see that your name is
spelled right in the papers.
Mr. Dill, Chaney's here.
Okay, girls, on your feet, on your feet!
And look like swans,
not ducks!
Take it again
from the top.
Okay, girls.
With long necks.
Glad you got here, Chaney,
but just for the records,
with Kolb and Dill, rehearsals
are just like a performance.
They start on time.
I'm sorry, Mr. Dill,
but I was getting
settled in a new house.
Needed a special kind of
place out in the country,
far away from everything.
You see, I'm having a baby.
Okay, I love children
as much as the next man,
but don't let it
happen again.
Rehearsals, I mean.
I won't.
Starting a baby album?
No, press book.
Saves a lot of talk.
Hmm.
Your sketches?
Yes.
Do a little scenery too,
if it's needed.
Not bad.
I hear you do
a pretty good dumb act.
I've been doing that
since I was a kid.
Where'd you learn it?
Parents.
Show business?
Mmm-hmm. Deaf.
Mutes?
Well, don't let it bother you,
Mr. Dill. It doesn't bother them.
Well, shall we go to work?
Come on, Lon,
I'll show you
to the dressing room.
Do you want me
to turn it off?
No, no, it's all right.
Just tell me, if you do.
Cleva, if you like to hear it, it's fine.
But I don't like to hear
it, Lon, that's the point.
I don't really want to
hear it. I'd rather talk!
About what you're doing at the
theater, the weather, anything.
Month after month, it's
"Hello" and "Good night,"
and nothing in between.
Cleva, we keep trying
to talk to each other.
If I tell you we had
a good matinee,
you ask about the kids in the
audience, how they liked it,
how much noise they made.
We always get back
to the same thing.
Now it's my fault!
I didn't say that.
It's what you meant.
It's this place.
It's like being buried.
No one around,
nobody to talk to.
Why couldn't we have stayed in the
city like everybody else in the show,
where there's some life,
some excitement?
Or would that have been
too normal? Is that it, Lon?
Are you trying to get me
used to the silence?
Cleva, the doctor says
there's every reason to expect
that everything
is going to be fine.
There's nothing...
Nothing to be afraid of.
Maybe you can be
strong about it.
I can't. I'm scared.
So scared I could scream.
Dummy! Dummy! Dummy!
Go back to sleep, Cleva.
Lon, I did hear him cry?
I wasn't asleep?
No, you heard him.
Mrs. Chaney, when a baby
is picked up by the heels
and slapped on the rump,
he's bound to resent it.
Then he's all right.
What is it?
Cleva, the baby cried,
but there's...
It's a little too soon to know
for certain if he can hear.
The fact that he cried
is no indication.
When we know definitely
that he reacts to sound,
we can be sure
that he'll learn to speak.
We won't know for
a couple of weeks.
He's a fine boy,
Mrs. Chaney.
Would you like to see him? I'll
have the nurse bring him in.
Mr. Chaney?
That's right.
If there's an answer,
I can take it with me.
What is it, Lon?
From the folks.
They're worried.
They haven't heard from us since
the night the baby was born.
What are you
going to tell them?
No answer.
He's still sleeping.
The doorbell woke me,
but he didn't hear it.
God, I have never
asked for anything before,
but this I want more
than anything in my life.
Do you have to
pray like that?
Do you have to
keep me out of it?
I wouldn't know how to mean it any other way.
Please, let my baby
hear and talk.
Please, God, please. Amen.
Lon! Lon, he heard you!
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, my son.
I'm sorry, sorry, sorry.
That's the last time
anybody will ever scare you.
No, no, no.
Wait, please.
Hello, Mrs. Chaney,
and the big fella.
Well, it's about time
youse coming to see us again.
Growing like a weed,
ain't he?
Scotty, would you take
Creighton to his father
and tell him I'll see
them both at home tonight?
Well, now, there's a couple
of minutes before he goes on.
Why don't you...
No, no, I'm late already.
Just tell him,
please. Thanks.
Well, come on, Creighton.
Hi!
What's the matter? Cat got your tongue? Nope.
Just quiet like your daddy,
huh? Can't you even say hello?
Hi.
That's much better.
Now no flirting with
the dancing girls, sonny.
Come on, let's go
find your daddy, okay?
Well, look who's here! Hi,
wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Girls, come on,
now. Come on.
Mr. Chaney,
you have company.
Daddy! Daddy!
My boy, my boy. My boy!
My boy, my boy, my boy!
Uncle Clarence, did you bring me a present?
Well, you came to see us, you remember?
This kid's gonna get along swell!
Where's your mother? Mrs.
Chaney had an appointment.
She said she'd see you
at home tonight.
I'll take care of him while
you're on. He's my new fellow.
Thanks, Miss Bennett.
That's all right.
Creighton, come here.
Here we go.
Daddy, show me a story.
Now, way too late
and you're much too sleepy.
Please, just one, Daddy.
The one you said was Grandma's
favorite, Old Lady Murgatroyd.
Old Lady Murgatroyd?
Yeah.
I'll tell you what.
Now we'll have a race.
You get into these, and get
tucked in by the time I'm ready.
Okay.
It's a race.
Come on, now.
Faster than that! You hear?
And now, young man,
young man, you go to sleep.
And go to sleep right now, do you
hear me? Go to sleep right now.
Well, say it.
All right, I'm working. I took a job.
I'm singing at Lait's.
What about Creighton?
I found a woman,
a wonderful woman.
She'll come in the morning
and be with him till I get up,
and then she'll stay
until you come home at night.
Except Thursdays.
What do we do on Thursdays?
Give him a dime and let him go on the town?
You can take him
to the theater with you.
Don't make it
sound so awful.
Mommy?
Yes, sweetheart, I'm here.
Did you bring me anything?
No, I didn't, baby.
There wasn't...
Oh, yes, I did, too.
See here. Look.
What does it do?
It's a nugget.
A real gold nugget.
Gosh!
Where'd you get it?
A customer had a little
bit too much champagne.
He gave it to me for luck.
Good night, Son.
Go back to sleep.
I'll save it
for you, darling.
The gold rush is over. You're
quitting Lait's tomorrow.
You're not leaving my son
in the hands of a stranger.
Lon, she's experienced. Takes
care of children all the time.
And what's wrong with my
wanting to do something?
Lots of women
have careers.
Creighton is more
important than a career.
There's time for both.
They liked me tonight,
and I like their liking me.
It's what I want to do.
Maybe when the boy's older.
How much older, Lon? When?
How tall must he be?
I'm sick of being alone,
never seeing anyone.
Sometimes I get the feeling
that Creighton and I
are the only two people
in the world.
I am home
every minute I can be.
Only to be with
your son, not me.
I might as well be
1,000 miles away.
We've become strangers, Lon.
Maybe it's because I once
said I didn't want your child.
You can't forgive me.
Well, I love him too, but I've got
to make some kind of life of my own.
I have the chance now, and you're
not going to take it away from me.
We haven't finished
talking about this.
Surprise, Lon. For once, I
don't want to talk anymore.
If you liked me any better,
I couldn't stand it.
Then we are friends?
Friends.
What a sour face.
He didn't like us tonight.
Not a smile.
Watch this.
Flowers. Butterflies.
I can't. I can't.
You see? I made it! The
sneeze goes back into the act.
Yeah, already he's a critic.
Creighton, what's with you?
With me? It's fine.
Hiya, Pop, what's with you?
You know, pretty soon we put him in
the act, and then he's got to laugh!
Past your bedtime, Son.
I'll take him, Lon.
See, what did I tell you? We
put the sneeze back into the act.
Lon, you seen this? Look.
The whole show's built around her.
Not bad after three months, huh?
Well, you're going,
aren't you?
No.
Look, Lon, I can take
Creighton home with me.
We get along great.
I tell him whoppers,
and the bigger the whopper,
the better he likes it.
This is a big night for her.
You should go.
I was not invited.
Where are you going?
Just down to the
drugstore for a minute.
Now, Lon,
don't get panicky.
When I wasn't looking, Ruby
loaded him with ice cream.
His little stomach's just
a little upset, that's all.
See?
Clarence, will you run down
to the drugstore?
Tell the druggist Creighton
has an upset stomach.
Have him fix something.
Sure.
Hazel, a favor?
I've got to go
someplace after the show.
Will you take care
of the boy till I get back?
Of course. And, Lon, don't worry.
He'll be sound asleep by the
time you come back for him.
From now on he's going to
sleep at home, where he belongs.
The last thing I want to do is to
cause you any trouble, Mr. Lait.
But I've got my problem, and it's
the only way I know how to handle it.
I'll be sorry to lose her,
Mr. Chaney, but I understand.
I got a couple of kids
of my own.
Wait outside, Louisa.
Yes, ma'am.
Afraid she can't
see you now, Mr. Darrow.
Louisa, have you
no romance in your soul?
Must you spend your entire
life keeping us apart?
Excuse me.
I'll just be
a few minutes, Bill.
I thought you might need these.
The others are an hour old.
I'll wait outside.
Oh, no. No, please, Bill.
I'll join you at the table.
Bill, huh?
He's an important customer.
Evidently.
Get your things. We're picking
up Creighton at the theater.
I'm not through. I've
got another number to do.
You're off the payroll.
You've been replaced.
What are you talking about?
I went over big tonight.
Maybe this won't interest you, but
while you were going over so big,
your son was lying sick
in a theater dressing room.
What is it? Did you get a doctor? No.
He doesn't need a doctor.
He needs his mother.
Someone to see to it he eats the
right food, at the right time,
at the right place,
in his home.
I've got a cab waiting.
You had me fired.
Damn you! Damn you! Damn you!
What's the trouble, Cleva?
Who are you?
What are you doing here?
I'm from the collection agency.
I've come to collect my wife.
Please.
No.
Please, Carl!
No.
I've told you why I was late.
You're lying to me!
I couldn't leave the boy.
No, you're lying to me.
You were waiting for him,
weren't you?
I wasn't. I swear it.
Carl, let...
Please let me go!
Lon, no! Don't!
Get up! Get up!
He's brave.
Fights for you.
Can't be just because
you take care of his kid.
Get up!
Lon, he... He can't.
Stand me up, brave man. Stand
me up and knock me down again.
I'm sorry.
Don't let it keep you
awake, brave man.
I'm trying to apologize.
Don't make it harder for me.
Why should I make it easier?
I'll go get Creighton.
I'm sorry.
You couldn't have known.
Who is he?
Carl Hastings.
I was once married to him.
It was over years ago.
I heard about his accident.
I went to see him.
I thought maybe
I could help,
but he's become
so bitter, so cruel.
Now he wants me to go back to
him, but I can't. I just can't.
Is this why you
wanted me home, Lon?
Was the boy
getting in your way?
Keep quiet.
Don't bother
to introduce me.
I'm sure this
must be Hazel.
My son knows your name almost
as well as he knows mine.
Are you finished, Cleva?
You and I haven't been
very bright, Mrs. Chaney.
Yes, I've finished.
For good!
I'm not going back
to being a nursemaid
so you can play around
with a chorus girl!
It's all right, Lon.
I'll be all right.
Goodbye, Hazel.
Yeah. Goodbye.
What's the use?
You're in love with him,
aren't you?
Maybe I can't walk,
but I'm not blind.
Hello, Mr. Locan.
Don.
Clarence. Heard anything?
No. Nothing.
Well?
Three days! She's gotta be somewhere.
She can't just disappear
off the face of the earth.
Mr. Locan.
Telephone, please.
That may be something.
Yeah.
Look, Harry,
do it any way you want.
You don't need to bother me with
it. Look, I give you the stuff,
and you put it
in the paper.
Don't go away, sweet. I'll
be right with you, sweetheart.
Cleva, Lon's been
going crazy.
They love him, don't they?
Wait a minute!
What're you doing?
Cleva!
Get that curtain down!
Well, she's out of danger,
Mr. Chaney. Thanks, Doc.
However, the acid seriously
damaged her vocal chords.
She won't be able to talk?
In time.
I understand
your wife was a singer.
Yes.
Well, she won't be anymore.
Can I see her?
It might be wiser
if you'd wait.
Give her a week.
It's my fault
she's in there.
I drove her to it.
Is your name Bill?
She was trying to reach Darrow.
He didn't want to be reached.
Gimme a chance, fellows.
I'm from the Morning Post,
Mr. Chaney. Why did she do it?
Well, give us a break...
Look, not now.
Daddy! Daddy!
Hold it, sonny!
Is it true you've been fired?
Leave him out of this.
Look out!
Lon!
You can't...
Come on, come on, fellows.
He's upset. Let it be.
He could be more helpful.
You got your headlines.
Why can't he be...
Daddy, where's Mommy?
Your mommy has to be away
for a while, Son.
She'll be home
in a few days.
Better finish your breakfast,
young man.
Thanks for taking
care of him, Hazel.
But you know you shouldn't have come here.
Those reporters,
I don't want to see you get
mixed up in this, you know.
Do you think
I care what they say?
I'd better go.
I want to be at the theater
when Kolb gets there.
You know,
straighten things out.
After all this?
Forget it.
He'll take you back, Lon,
when things quiet down.
Not a chance. Not a chance.
There isn't a manager in the country
that'll have anything to do with me,
and I don't blame them. I got
nobody to blame but myself.
Even Darrow. You can charge
that one up to me, too.
I'll take Cleva and
Creighton and go somewhere.
Someplace where
nobody ever heard of us.
Maybe we can get a fresh start
and stop hurting each other.
Well, we've got to try.
Got to. For the boy's sake.
Did you ever play Los Angeles?
No. Oh, yeah.
One-night stand
with a Tom show.
Well, nobody
knows you there.
What's there for me
in Los Angeles?
Moving pictures.
What's that got to do with acting?
Well, for you,
everything. It's pantomime.
I don't know how long
they're gonna be around,
but it'll keep you
going for a while.
Hazel, can I have
some more milk?
I'll get it.
Would you mind a suggestion
from your old Uncle Clarence?
Find yourself
a nice banjo player.
Now, don't forget, Son.
Mommy'll be talking to us in whispers
for a while, and we'll go along with it.
Make it a kind of game. Quiet
as a couple of mice, okay?
Okay.
Again.
Okay.
Good. Perfect!
Hello, there, Creighton.
Not so loud,
Uncle Clarence.
Lon.
You wait here, Son.
Cleva's not here.
What? Where is she?
They don't know.
Nobody saw her leave.
Lon, I think she's just running
from everything that's happened.
Hmm.
Including her son.
Look, give her
a little time, Lon.
Let her try
and work it out.
No, no.
She's run out on him
for the last time.
So help me.
So help me!
As I stand here, she'll
never get near him again!
In view of the testimony
and the default of defendant,
Cleva Creighton Chaney, the court
grants to the plaintiff, Chaney,
a decree of divorce.
In the matter of the custody
of Creighton Chaney,
it is the opinion of the court
that the plaintiff, Chaney,
is unable at this time to give the boy
the environment of a normal home life.
Your Honor!
Mr. Chaney,
the court suggests that you agree
to place your son in a foster home
until you've...
No! No!
Then this court must declare Creighton Chaney
a ward of the court until
such time as you can prove
permanent,
gainful employment,
the establishment of a suitable
home, proper associations...
Why didn't you tell me
this could happen? Why? Why?
He's a good eater, and I
always get his breakfast.
He doesn't like oatmeal,
but any other cereal...
We set a good table,
Mr. Chaney.
You'll have lots of fun here, Son.
All those children to play with,
and the toys and the swings.
You be a good boy, huh?
You know, I'll come to see
you every week, every week.
And it won't be
for long, Son.
I promise you,
it won't be for long.
Hold it there, fella.
I been telling you,
you've got to have a pass.
And I've been asking you,
how do I get one?
Go to the front office
and get someone to okay it.
Look, I don't want to
steal any cameras.
All I want is somebody
to look at this press book.
I looked at it,
and I'll tell you again.
Go over to the bullpen.
Maybe you might get lucky.
But I'm not an extra.
I'm an actor.
Now, aren't we all?
Aren't we all?
Hi, Gert.
Hi.
How's life
among the 400?
Ha! We're down to 399.
I just shot my husband.
Hey, hold it a minute.
Oh, Gert.
Yeah?
Set this fella straight, will
you? He says he's an actor
but doesn't want
any part of extra work.
An actor?
Well! That's
a novelty around here.
Hey, come here.
Tell him the
facts of life, huh?
Come along, friend. I'll even look
at your press book, if you insist.
Come on.
Stage?
That's right.
Well, that don't cut
much ice in pictures.
We're selling dreams, Prince Charming,
handsome knights in shining armor.
You mean
I'm not the type?
You want it straight,
honest?
You're not any type.
You see, you're in movies what
we call an unsaleable commodity.
You're just a plain, ordinary
guy with a plain, ordinary face.
Well, that's
straight and honest.
I know a lot of plain, ordinary
guys like you working extra.
Why don't you try it?
It helps them eat.
Duchess,
I just quit acting.
Come on!
Oh, a big day today.
Four pictures shooting.
Good morning, Gert.
Hi, Harry.
Two Westerns, a sea epic...
Hi, Gert.
Hello, Pete.
A society comedy,
that's me.
A breath of Riverside Drive.
All right, Indians over
here. All Indians over here.
Stick around.
For what?
For what?
The assistant directors,
no less.
Let's have all
the bald-headed fat men.
All right,
all the Indians over here.
Indians, over here.
All right, society people over here.
Five men, five women
and three waiters.
Action.
Now you turn around,
laugh at Chaney.
Now slowly start
to wipe your face.
That's it. That's good. Now
reach behind you and get your pie
and throw it at Hank.
That's it, that's it.
Now start to wiping your face.
Get your pie, now,
and pick it up
and throw it at Snub!
That's it. That's good.
Now, Snub, start to wipe
your face. That's it. Cut!
That's it. Listen, please, come
on, let's move on to the next set.
Come on, strike that set.
Come on.
Okay, the rest of you,
come on!
Oh, I'm sorry, Lon.
Well! Always did like chocolate,
Gert. Always liked chocolate.
Oh, and Gert, thanks.
Oh, forget it.
No, I mean it.
Just before I was so deliciously
blinded by this chocolate pie,
I saw something!
If a guy can be enough things in
this business, he can make a living.
Now, listen. Don't start spending
the money. You've still got that face.
I've got a box full of faces,
Gert. A whole box full!
Morning, Duchess.
Oh, morning, Lon.
Did you finish your bit
at Mack Sennett's?
6:00 this morning.
Good heavens!
Don't you ever sleep?
Nine cowboys, four Indians,
twelve Arab horsemen,
four lascars, two with scars, two dowagers.
No Chinese!
Four lascars,
two with scars.
Lascars? What's that?
East Indian sailors. Me!
Makeup?
Makeup.
What's driving you, Lon?
You're getting bits now,
even billing once in a while.
Why do you knock
yourself out working extra?
Need the money, Gert.
I need the money.
Trying to get my kid
out of hock.
All right, you,
you, you and you.
Oh, and you.
I want that scar.
Report to wardrobe.
Hey, what's your
name, fella?
Lon Chaney.
Chaney.
What're you trying to do? Be
a one-man crew on this ship?
You heard him, Joe. He'll
be looking for this scar.
Hey, you.
Yes, please?
I'm looking for
a fellow called Chaney.
Talk slow, please.
Me lookum Chaney, Lon
Chaney. Him actor, actor.
Oh, him actor.
Oh, yeah. Sahib Chaney.
Yeah. You know where he is?
Oh, yes, yes.
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Him, him hide.
Him hear crazy Uncle Clarence
come after him, borrow money.
Well, Lon! You!
Hello, Clarence.
You look great.
Yeah. Yeah. You, too.
What am I saying?
Oh, did you get that job
you wrote me about?
You're looking at George Loane
Tucker's new public relations man.
That's movie talk
for press agent.
Hey, that's big stuff.
You know him?
No, could never get
my foot in the door.
Well, I've got the key.
Tucker's ready to start a
picture called The Miracle Man.
There's only one problem.
There's a part that he can't cast,
a very special
kind of part.
You wouldn't happen
to know an actor
who can twist his body
to look completely deformed,
and then unwind
before your very eyes?
I knew him once,
Sahib Chaney.
You're getting the drift.
Did it once in The Mikado
when he was a kid.
Only half did it. This is
going to be much tougher.
Tucker wants to see
you tomorrow.
Oh, no. Make it
day after tomorrow.
Oh, it's too late.
I promised him.
No. Tomorrow's the
day I visit with my boy.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay.
The next day. I'll fix it.
All right, on the set,
folks. Let's go. On the set.
Stick around while I pick up the room rent.
Everybody on the set.
Come on. Let's go!
The beggar and the miracle man are
part of the same gang of con men.
Isn't that right, Mr. Tucker?
That's right.
Now, this is the
snapper of the picture.
The phony miracle man is healing
Chaney in front of the townspeople.
Chaney. Is it the same one
who was with Kolb and Dill?
Oh, a long time ago. He's made
hundreds of pictures since.
Ready, Mr. Tucker.
Okay. Excuse me, please.
Places, everybody.
Are you sure you feel
all right, Lon?
Yes.
Shall we try one, Lon?
Please.
Camera!
Action!
Cut!
That was wonderful!
Perfect, Lon.
Great, Lon.
I hurt all over. Great!
All right. All right. Ease out of
it. Let's not be so frisky, huh?
All right, folks.
Let's break it up!
Let's get ready
for the next set-up.
Say, Lon, there's a freelance
magazine writer over there.
He's doing a story on the
picture. He wants to meet you.
Dave Anderson,
this is Lon Chaney.
It was really something,
Mr. Chaney.
Were you ever a professional contortionist?
No, just slack ligaments.
Oh, and Dr. Shiels is on the
set in case they tighten up?
Oh, he's the studio's idea, but he's a
good friend. I enjoy having him around.
Hey, tell me, you were married
to Cleva Creighton, weren't you?
What has that got to do with
The Miracle Man?
Just asking, Mr. Chaney. You
had a son, too, didn't you?
Lon!
Come on, come on,
simmer down.
I get it all figured,
all figured.
I make the grade,
I get my son back.
Now this guy comes along and digs up the
whole mess, and what chance have I got?
What happened out there?
No more interviews,
no more questions.
Another newspaperman
comes on the set, I go off!
Look, Lon, publicity
is part of our business.
We're not just a goldfish
bowl, we're a whole aquarium.
There's no room in the
industry for a mystery man.
Why, if we were to...
Just a minute, Mr. Tucker.
"Mystery man!"
I'm a deadhead from way back. I
haven't paid to see anything in years,
but you know something?
I'd buy a ticket
to see a mystery man.
A change of face,
nothing more.
I can hear the jingle
in the box office.
I can see
the whole campaign now.
"Lon Chaney,
man of mystery!"
"Man of mystery"?
What do you
think of it, Lon?
And what happens with that guy out
there with his hot little scoop?
Oh, him? He just quit
the magazine business.
What?
Oh! I meant to tell you
before, he's on your payroll.
My new assistant.
He likes to eat steady.
What does
that judge want?
I thought showing him this would be the
clincher, but the answer's still "no. "
"The only concern of the court, Mr.
Chaney, is the welfare of your son. "
What does he call permanent
employment and a suitable home?
For months now
I've been working steady.
And this house that I bought
is not exactly a pup-tent!
You don't have to sell me.
His own room, a back garden,
school two blocks away,
and a summer place that starts
going up the day I get him back.
Just for the two of us,
where we can fish and talk
and get to know
each other again.
Take it easy!
Take it easy! Take it easy!
You sound like that judge!
Look, Lon, you never can tell. Whenever
you least expect it, it might break.
Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, Lon, I forgot to tell you.
I asked a girl to stop by.
I should have mentioned it
before, hope you don't mind.
Well, if you think it's a suitable
home to bring a girl to, why, go ahead.
It's all right.
I'll go catch a movie.
Oh, no, no.
No, it's nothing like that.
Hello, Lon.
About that movie, it sounds
great. Think I'll catch it.
Hello, Hazel.
Come in. Sit down.
Can I get you something?
No.
Oh, that Locan!
Same old Uncle Clarence.
He hasn't changed a bit.
Neither have you.
I don't know how you do it.
It's been a long time.
Three years.
You still dancing?
Well, that's what
they pay me for.
I'm on tour now. A revue. We open
tomorrow night at the Criterion.
Well, I'll have to
catch that.
Sure I can't
get you something?
Oh, no. Thank you.
You're doing wonderfully well,
Lon. I've seen a lot of your movies.
Well, you know, I grew up
on stories without words.
In Pittsburgh I sat down
and wrote you a fan letter.
I didn't get it.
I didn't send it.
Oh, that's too bad.
Could have used it.
You know, the kind of fellows I
play, pretty girls don't write to.
How's Creighton?
Well, fine.
Out in the Valley.
Yes, I know.
Locan told me.
Would you like to see him some
afternoon? He always had a crush on you.
I'd love to.
I'll take you.
They're very kind to fathers.
Regular visiting hours.
You'll get him back, Lon.
Oh, sure.
I've got it all worked out.
I'm gonna buy
Buckingham Palace,
lay out a polo field in front, move in
the Taj Mahal in back for a swimming pool,
and then maybe the court'll
rule that's a suitable home.
Oh, I'm sorry, Hazel.
I've been in a rut lately.
Lon. Maybe...
What?
I was just thinking...
Come on.
Maybe a suitable home doesn't
mean just a house and furniture.
I mean, maybe the judge
feels that a suitable home is,
well, people.
A father, a mother,
you know, people.
Tell you what. Tomorrow on the
extras call sheet, I'm going to put,
"Wanted, one mother type,
preferably under 50,
"to fall in love
with actor and son. "
I'm under 50, Lon.
You said yourself Creighton's stuck
on me. That's one of you, anyway.
You'd do that for me, Hazel?
For myself, Lon.
I guess I've always
been in love with you.
Oh, Hazel. Hazel, I
wouldn't wish me on anybody.
Well, I'm willing to take
my chances, if you want me.
But I'm tough to get along with. Ask anybody.
I don't know why I am,
but I am.
That's the way it is.
Ask Locan.
I did.
Oh, well. Locan.
Well, anyway, that's what I was thinking.
I'll have to
add another room.
Would it be so difficult?
Two truckloads of rock and
a couple of crushed fingers.
Oh, that Locan!
Well, well, well,
well, well!
What do you think
of this one, boy?
That's a beaut!
Well, yeah.
Like him, huh?
Got one on there?
Lon, there's still
no sign of them.
You suppose
anything's happened?
Huh?
Oh, don't worry.
They'll be here.
Gosh, Hazel. I had a whopper
nibbling. You scared it away.
Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Creighton.
I'll try to remember next time.
It's okay, I guess. But, you
see, trouts is very nervous.
She's your mother now.
Why not call her that?
I forgot.
All right, you two.
What's going on?
Can't men talk about men's
business without women butting in?
Call her "Mom. "
That'll be fun.
Cleaning the fish is my job,
Mom. I better get started.
Hey, this dock's
not very clean.
What were you two
talking about?
He's getting pretty
good at it, isn't he?
Did you tell him
to call me "Mom"?
Do you think
that was wise?
Isn't it a better idea...
He thinks she's dead.
It's best that way.
Here they are!
Here they are!
Grandma,
I'm glad to meet you.
And I'm glad to meet you.
You've grown.
And I'm strong, too.
I'm glad you came.
Well! Clarence,
how are you?
Lon, how are you?
Papa!
Yeah, sure lots of
kissing going on around here.
Don't look at me.
Thanks for bringing them up.
No trouble at all. I always wanted
to know what "nowhere" looks like.
What's that?
That is a script.
Oh, no. This is vacation. Not
allowed to read. My wife won't let me.
You beat me again.
I'm becoming expert.
You all right, Lon?
Oh, just couldn't
sleep, that's all.
What have you been doing?
Just sketching up
an idea I had.
Oh, may I see it?
Is it a good script?
Doesn't matter.
Not gonna do it.
Why? Because
it might remind us?
Oh, Lon, do it, if it's a good
script. The past can't hurt us.
And send a copy of the
novel to the New York office.
No, better not. It'll take
them a year to read it.
Send them a one-page synopsis, short words.
All right, I will.
I'm Lon Chaney. I've got an
appointment with Mr. Thalberg.
Oh, right in there,
Mr. Chaney.
Please sit down,
Mr. Chaney.
Mr. Thalberg?
Don't let it bother you.
It happens all the time.
Did you read the book?
One sitting.
Couldn't put it down.
That's the way it hit me the first time, too.
You see, when I was a boy, I was sick
quite a bit. They made me stay in bed.
I had nothing better to do, so I read
every book I could lay my hands on.
I'll never forget the first day I
read The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
Sent my temperature
sky high. Now...
Now I want to make it
into a picture.
And you know, between you and me, this
company can use a prestige picture.
And I don't think anyone around would
mind if it made a couple of dollars, too.
Oh, naturally.
The whole project scares
the New York office stiff.
They see it as 10 reels of sheer
horror, with a monster playing the lead.
Tell me, Mr. Chaney,
how do you see Quasimodo?
I see him as a man
deformed, cursed, tormented,
laughed at as a freak,
but his tormentors never see
the heartbreak or the tears.
That's just what I want the
audience to see, Mr. Chaney.
The soul of a man
that God made different.
If you can get that on film,
we've got ourselves a picture!
Can you really make him
look like that?
I started on the makeup
the day you sent me the book.
Do you know why I wanted you
for The Hunchback, Mr. Chaney?
No.
This project is so important to me that
I couldn't take a chance on just anyone.
Every time an actor was suggested, I dug
into his past to see what made him tick.
In your case,
I dug rather deep,
all the way back
to Colorado Springs.
My parents?
You know what it's like
to be different.
Make people understand.
Make them see it
the way you see it.
All right.
Now we'll try this.
All right.
Now we'll try
this one over here.
It's too tight, Lon.
It's too tight.
No, it's all right, Doc.
If you have it that tight, you won't
be able to wear it more than 15 minutes.
Let me worry about that.
If you're going to keep ignoring my
advice, why do you have me around?
You never can tell.
I might catch cold.
You talk to him, will you,
Hazel? He pays no attention to me.
Mom!
We're up here, dear.
We're going to an unveiling.
Hello, Doc Shiels.
Hello, Creighton.
Creighton!
All right. All right.
I'll get it later.
Horrifying but pitiful.
It's great, Lon,
just great!
Hi, Mom.
Hi, dear.
Hi, Pop.
Uncle Clarence.
Creighton.
Say, Pop! There's a great
new joke going around school.
"Don't step on that spider,
it might be Lon Chaney. "
Very funny!
Darling, it's wonderful,
but isn't it very painful?
Only when I laugh.
What a poster
you'll make!
Where'd you get this? Well?
A lady gave it to me.
What lady? Where?
She comes around school every
week or so, watches us play ball.
It isn't worth
anything, is it?
Son, there are some drawings on the back
seat of my car. Get them for me, will you?
Be at that school every day until
she shows up, and bring her to me.
I want to see her.
See who?
Cleva!
All ready, sir.
All right.
Cameras!
Action! Bring in the cart.
Hold it!
Get me out of this!
Get me out of this!
There's something wrong, sir.
Cut! Get him out
of the shackles.
What's wrong, Lon?
Are you all right?
Oh, I'm all right.
I'm all right. I'm fine.
Still afraid of freaks,
Cleva?
That's a very
startling makeup.
You wanted to see me?
Yes. Yes.
How much? How much
to leave us alone?
Nothing, Lon.
I don't want
a thing from you.
You've done a good job of raising
him, you and Hazel. He's fine.
Don't give me that.
You came back for something!
I wanted to see him.
Was that so terrible,
wanting to see my son again?
Your son? You have to care
for something to make it yours.
You never even wanted him!
Lon!
Come on! Come on!
Let's have it. How much?
Lon, please.
Don't bother.
It's no use.
Lon!
Can we go someplace
to talk?
You can say it here.
Lon, try not to be
angry with me. Please.
I think Creighton has a right
to know his mother's alive.
I don't!
He'll find out someday.
Unless he's heard it from you, he'll
hate you for it. Oh, tell him, Lon.
And make myself
a liar in his eyes?
We won't talk about it
anymore. He's not to know!
What's all this?
Just fooling around.
Oh, at four it could be fooling around.
At your age, it could be an itch.
Okay, Pop.
I've been thinking, with
two actors in the family,
we'd sure have this
business sewed up.
Two actors, huh?
Where'd you get that idea?
An agent talked to me
on your set.
He said he'd get me a good part if you'd
let him bill me as Lon Chaney, Junior.
Oh, Son, there's always somebody
around looking to make a fast dollar.
They figure they can
get one with you.
But he says he can
make me an actor.
Son,
to quote the great
Richard Mansfield,
"Actors are not made.
Actors and idiots are born. "
You mean you won't let me?
Son, I've always tried to do
what was best for you.
Let me go on trying
a little longer, huh?
Anyway, have you forgotten?
I finish my job tonight.
We've got a whole week at the cabin.
I don't want to go.
Creighton? Creighton.
What is it?
Oh, a crazy idea he's got.
Like wanting to be an actor?
I want more
than that for him.
Lon, don't hold him so
tightly. Don't smother him.
He loves you more
than anyone, anything.
You can't ask for more
than all his love.
Tell him I'm leaving
for the cabin tonight.
He can come along
or stay home, either way.
Action!
Cut!
Very nice, dear.
Very nice.
Thank you, Mr. Chaney.
That was great, Lon. Really.
Really, just great.
There's Hazel and Creighton.
Hello, Hazel, Creighton.
Thank you, Lon.
Oh, hello. Uncle Clarence.
The car's outside, Pop,
and the gear's all loaded.
We can go as soon as
you're ready.
Wonderful, Son. I've got one
more shot. I'll hurry them along!
It's always the same. I wind up
apologizing and doing what he wants.
Creighton!
I'm sorry, Mom.
What started
the ruckus, anyway?
He caught me fooling around in his
makeup box, copying one of his faces.
He's got 1,000 of them,
but you should have heard him.
What'd you say?
Huh?
A thousand faces!
Thalberg's been after me to
start a new advertising campaign.
"The Man of a Thousand Faces!"
How's that?
Son, if I get a raise,
I'm gonna give you half.
Make it a new fishing rod.
What's he stalling for?
He's got six more changes yet.
Well, Irving.
What do you think?
I like it.
Lon, we're moving the
starting date back a week.
Oh?
And when did you
decide to do that?
Hazel phoned.
Won't upset things
too much, huh?
You see, it's the last chance my boy'll
have all summer to get up to the cabin.
I got him a job downtown
with a brokerage firm.
I'm afraid one of these days your
wife's gonna charm me out of my job!
But that's only one reason
I came down, Lon.
What's the other reason?
Your new contract.
Lon, we've got to sit down one
of these days and thrash it out.
Irving! Draw it up.
I'll sign it.
It isn't that easy. There are
terms, clauses, conditions.
Listen, you know,
the fine print.
Can't we just shake hands
and call it a deal?
And how do I explain that
to the legal department?
Have your secretary
make out a memo.
"Mr. Thalberg and Mr. Chaney shook hands. "
Phone, Mr. Chaney.
Thanks.
Probably Hazel.
I better get on that memo.
Hello, honey.
Almost finished here.
Yeah. I'll be home in
about an hour. Maybe sooner.
Everything packed?
Creighton get home yet?
Any minute now.
Yes.
What, Lon? Yes. Yes, dear.
All right, I will. Goodbye.
Cleva!
Cleva!
Please come inside.
Oh, no!
Yes. Please.
Do you really want me to?
Lon won't be home
for at least an hour.
He'd be very angry.
I know. Come in, please.
For a long time now I've
known you were coming here.
I've seen you there
at the end of the drive.
Until today I didn't have the
courage to do anything about it.
It's very beautiful.
Thank you.
Can I get you something?
Some tea? Oh, don't bother.
Oh, it's no bother
at all. Vera, please.
Yes, Mrs. Chaney.
Come on, sit down.
Do you live nearby?
I'm working on a farm
in the valley,
as a cook.
On my day off, I...
I always promise myself
I won't come here.
I know it can
only mean trouble.
I say I'll go shopping
or to the movies.
And here I am.
I haven't bothered Creighton.
It's just that...
I just have to see him
every so often.
I'm sure I'd do
exactly the same thing.
I feel so guilty about him.
I always have,
all these years.
I just didn't know
how to handle it, Hazel.
After what happened,
at the time, it...
It just seemed easier
to run away.
It's Creighton. Stay and
talk to him. Oh, I couldn't.
Oh, please.
I wouldn't know what to say.
I shouldn't have come in.
I've got to get to the
bus station, the last bus.
Who was that, Mom?
Anyone I know?
Someone you did know,
a long time ago.
Hello!
Where is everybody?
Up here, Lon.
Coming up!
I thought you'd be ready.
You, too? What is all this?
I'm not going. Something
more important came up.
More important?
Like what?
It's just that I can't
go with you, that's all.
Well, I'd still like
a reason, Son.
Boy, you in some
kind of trouble?
No, nothing like that.
Well, if it's that job I
got you, that's easily fixed.
There are other jobs.
Just say the word.
Look, let's forget it, huh?
Son, we've been
together a long time.
We've never had
any secrets before.
Haven't we?
What do you mean by that?
I'll tell you what I mean.
I saw her today. My mother. My real mother!
Why did you lie to me, Pop? Why
did you tell me she was dead?
Son, you've
got to understand.
I understand.
I understand you lied to me.
I understand that much!
She ran out on you
when you were a baby.
As far as we were concerned, she was
dead! I was just trying to protect you.
Were you, Pop?
Son!
Creighton!
Creighton! If you go to her,
don't bother to come back!
I knew it.
I knew she'd
take him from me.
I told him
who she was, Lon.
I couldn't lie to him
any longer.
He had every right to know.
Cleva had every right to see him.
The only harm
was in your mind.
He's her son, too.
Well, he's gone to her now.
Are you satisfied?
What were you
really afraid of, Lon?
That he'd open up his heart to
her and you'd lose part of him?
You wanted all of his love.
He had all of yours, with
nothing left over for anyone else.
Well!
I'm sorry.
Is Lon still around?
When isn't he, lately?
It's after midnight again.
He's in his dressing room.
Hey, Locan.
Maybe you can do
something with him.
He's had us working
day and night for a month.
Some of us have families who've
forgotten what we look like.
I'll do what I can.
Got a cold?
No, it's nothing.
Maybe you ought to
slow down.
You didn't come here this time
of night to ask about my health.
Well, Lon, I thought you'd
like to know. I found them,
Cleva and the boy.
Would you like to go see
them? I've got the address.
Tear it up.
Lon, he's just a kid. He's working like
a dog trying to support both of them...
He wanted it that way.
And who told you to go look for him,
anyway? Who asked you to interfere?
But, Lon, I've known
the kid since the day...
From now on,
stay away from him.
If he wants to see me,
he knows where I am.
He won't come to you. You'll
have to make the first move.
Me go to him?
Get down on my knees
to my own son?
Beg him? Is that what you're asking me to do?
That's exactly
what I think you should do.
Well, you can stop
thinking right now!
And you can stop
bothering me, too! Out!
Make it a thousand
and one faces, Lon.
This is one
I've never seen before.
Mind if I come in a minute?
I know I don't look dressed
for the barricades,
but I've just come
from a revolution.
The premiere of
The Jazz Singer.
Lon, you should have
seen that audience!
When Jolson's voice
came from the screen,
I could hear the bells
tolling for silent pictures.
You haven't heard
a word I said.
Oh, I'm sorry, Irving.
What were you saying?
Nothing much.
I was just trying to tell
you about a modern miracle.
Pictures that not only move,
Lon, but they speak.
Oh, yes, sure.
Talking pictures.
It's the horse and the automobile all
over again. No use trying to fight it.
I'm afraid some of the old favorites are
going to fall by the wayside, a lot of them.
Well, everything has to come to
an end, and I've had a long run.
Who said anything
about you, Lon?
You're going to be
bigger than ever!
We're going to remake
The Unholy Three.
You're still gonna play
all the different characters,
only this time
with voices to match.
A thousand voices!
Oh, yeah. Sure, Irving.
We'll talk about it sometime.
I'm sorry I had to break in on you,
Lon, but I just had to tell you.
That's all right.
Just remember, The Unholy Three
is yours anytime you want it, Lon.
Thanks, Irving.
Good night, Lon.
Good night.
Quiet!
All set.
Ready, Lon?
Roll them.
Speed.
Action!
We've got nothing
to worry about.
This is the greatest set-up
since thievery was invented.
We're gonna lift every hunk of jewelry
in this town that's worth taking.
Cut!
Let's just try it once more.
That was the seventh take.
Now, what is it, now?
Sorry, Lon. Your voice
sounded a little gravelly.
The mike didn't
pick it all up.
Oh, that's great! Great!
We used to think
we could make pictures.
Lights, a camera
and some acting. Now,
everything is sound.
Are you noisy enough?
Sorry, Lon.
Oh, I'm sorry, Jack. Sorry.
Just letting off steam.
All right. All right. Open up.
What? Again?
Just pretend it's caviar.
Say "ah. "
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Oh, Doc, you must
love tonsils,
the way you keep looking at
mine every chance you get.
Well, this picture ends tonight.
And tonight you go to the hospital.
This time there's
no point arguing.
Those tonsils are badly inflamed.
Probably have to come out.
But I've had them all my
life. They're old friends.
All right. All right.
Let's wrap this thing up.
I'm... I need a rest anyway.
Hi, Uncle Clarence.
Creighton. Cleva.
What brings you to
this neck of the woods?
Your dad's been in the
hospital. I wondered if you knew.
We read about it
in the papers.
Had his tonsils out. Sort
of a second childhood, huh?
It wasn't his tonsils.
It's malignant.
Your dad doesn't know it,
but it's hopeless.
Irving!
Lmagine! Tonsils at my age.
This just couldn't wait, Lon. I've
got one I think you'll really go for.
A story of the French Foreign
Legion, The Bugle Sounds.
Feels pretty good.
We do it in Africa, right
with the Foreign Legion.
Well, how about Hazel?
She go with me?
I'll put it
in the contract!
You know, Irving,
Hazel and I have never had a trip.
Never been anywhere, have we, honey?
Gonna be great, isn't it?
Wonderful.
When do we go?
Well, there's
a lot of preparations, Lon.
Like getting you well,
first. Drink this.
You heard me!
Look, if I do, will you
go away and let us talk?
Down the hatch!
Down the hatch!
Not too long,
Mr. Thalberg.
Lon, read it and let me know. I'll
come back and we can talk about it.
You'll have some ideas,
I'm sure. You always do.
Oh, before we get
too deep into this,
I'd like to take
a run up to the cabin.
I do my best
thinking up there.
Well, we'll have to ask
Dr. Shiels about that, Lon.
Irving, he's on your payroll.
Don't ask him, tell him.
Right. See you, Lon.
Right.
Thank you, Vera.
That's fine.
Irving, I don't know
how to thank you.
If he's busy thinking
and planning,
he won't have time to
ask too many questions.
We'll keep him that way.
He wants to go up
to the cabin, Doctor.
There's no reason
why he shouldn't.
Skillet's all set to go.
All we need is some trout.
Now's the time...
Now's the time to
catch the big ones.
Well! What are you
doing here?
Mmm. Figured two surprises
were better than one.
Mrs. Chaney, have I told
you lately that I love you?
Hmm. I don't remember.
Well, I do.
It's true.
How's your mother?
She's fine.
I think you should know. She
was against my leaving you.
Pop, she was working on a
farm, cooking for 30 men.
I couldn't leave her there.
I had to take care of her.
Yeah, I know. I should
have been proud of you,
but instead, I kept steaming
myself up to stay mad.
You know how I am,
I don't let go easy.
But I'm learning.
Hazel! You've got two starving men
on your hands. When we gonna eat?
I've been ready for hours.
Just waiting for the fish.
Well! Bring them in.
What?
He wants his makeup case.
He sends all of you his love.
He asked of us
all forgiveness.