Man-Proof (1938) Movie Script

Mr. Wythe's apartment.
Hasn't mr. Wythe come in yet?
No, no message.
Newark airport.
Would you tell me what time
The afternoon plane
From palm beach landed,
At 3:00.
Thank you.
Maybe he's decided
To stay over a few days.
That may be, but he wrote me
He'd be back today
And promised to phone me
From the airport the mo-
Uh, just a moment, please.
It's for hilda -
Her butcher boy.
Hilda, telephone!
Yes, mrs. Wythe.
Romance seems
To be in the air.
I'll bet alan was bored to death
At palm beach.
He always did hate
House parties.
For a man who had
No appetite for boredom,
He bit off
A rather large slice -
Three weeks, to be exact.
Oh, there he is now.
Oh. It's you.
I think so.
After that rousing welcome,
May I come in?
I'm sorry.
I thought
It was someone else.
I got it.
Hiya, meg!
Hi, jimmy.
How nice.
I'll bet that dog hasn't caught
A hat in 50 years.
It's the gift,
Not the thought.
Oh, jimmy,
They're beautiful.
Well, they ought to be.
They came right out
Of your own garden.
How's the new novel
Coming along?
Oh, not so hot.
Of course
The plot's all right.
It's never failed me
I'm just having difficulty
Getting new names
For my characters.
What brings you
To the wilds of long island?
An overwhelming desire
To see the only woman
That ever appreciated
My genius...
And her brat.
To say nothing of the
Possibility of a free meal.
Children should be seen
And not heard, meg.
As a matter of fact,
The paper sent me down
To do a sketch of mrs. Jameson,
The hatchet woman -
You know,
The one over in jamaica
Who made love to her husband
With an ax.
Charming woman,
Just a tomboy at heart.
You ought to send mimi over
To play with her some afternoon.
I'll give you 10 to 1
We have to pay his fare home.
You nasty child.
She must take after
Her father.
Don't mind her, jimmy.
She's been thwarted
This afternoon.
How ith mithter wythe?
Pardon my lithp.
You needn't be sarcastic.
You don't even know him.
Only by his deeds -
Seen at el morocco,
Seen at south hampton,
Seen at noel coward's opening.
How does he do it anyway?
I'm broke, too.
Nobody seems
To see me anywhere.
Society reporters don't
Hang around corner saloons.
Well, they ought to. They'd meet
A much better class of people.
Can't you two
Ever get together
Without leaping
At each other's throats?
Suits me.
Shall we bury the hatchet,
As mrs. Jameson
Said to her husband?
I'm sorry, jimmy.
Think nothing of it,
My child.
Why do you let
Any man upset you?
When will you learn
To mind your own business
And stop playing dutch uncle
To me?
I can't see that you've made
Such a brilliant success
Of your life,
And what's more -
Saved by the bell.
Telegram for miss swift.
Thank you.
Sign here, please.
Thank you.
What is it?
"want you to be the first
To know of our engagement.
"expect you to be
Our loveliest bridesmaid.
Elizabeth and... Alan. "
Mimi, I'm so -
Mother, don't -
Don't say anything.
Would you like me
To scram?
What for?
There isn't going to be
A scene.
I won the consolation prize,
Didn't I?
I'm going to be a
Bridesmaid. Mimi, stop it.
Do bridesmaids
Ever wear black?
Jimmy, make her stop.
Of course they don't.
No, I'll - I'll wear
The conventional organdy
With forget-me-nots.
Now, look, mimi.
Cut it out.
Stop being noble.
Go ahead and cry.
If there's anything in the world
I hate, it's a noble woman.
I'll be as noble
As I like!
Oh, no, you won't.
Now cut it out.
Jimmy, leave me alone!
Now what do I do?
Don't ask me.
I'm just
The innocent bystander. have and to hold
From this day forward...
...till death us do part.
I, elizabeth, take thee, alan,
To my wedded husband... have and to hold
From this day forward...
...till death us do part.
With this ring,
I thee wed.
And with all my worldly goods,
I thee endow.
Do kneel down.
Look at mimi.
As alan and elizabeth
Have consented together
In holy wedlock
And thereto have given
And pledged their troth
Each to the other
And have declared the same
By giving and receiving a ring
And by joining hands,
I pronounce
That they are man and wife.
Are you the bride?
Oh, no.
Time goes so quickly -
Thank you, mimi.
Ahh, the bride!
Thank you, mimi.
I hope
You'll be very unhappy.
I mean it...
Because anything I wish for
Never comes true.
I do hope
You'll be happy, elizabeth.
Will you marry me?
I will
For a glass of wine.
We're married.
Excuse us, please.
Thanks, tommy...
For the rescue.
Oh, that's all right.
It's just the boy scout
In me.
She's holding up, jimmy.
She's all right.
Guy must be crazy
To have turned her down.
That's what I think,
But I love her.
I wish
You were in love with her.
If I fell in love with anybody
In the swift family,
It wouldn't be mimi.
It would be her mother.
Well, I think
It was cruel. Cruel?
She didn't have to accept,
Did she? I don't know.
Just the same,
I feel sorry for him.
She didn't have to be
A bridesmaid, did she?
Well, she tried hard enough
To be the bride.
But what in the world she thought
They were going to live on,
I'm sure I don't -
Oh, my.
Now, who do suppose
She meant?
I can't imagine.
Well, whoever she is,
Here's to her.
I'd like to meet her.
Whosever being talked about
Like that must be important.
I should know her.
I didn't get any.
Why, sure enough.
It's an outrage.
Uh, alex.
I didn't know marrying you
Could be so much work.
Might as well have been
Elected something.
All right?
Stop fooling.
What makes you think we're
Fooling? Well, hurry up.
Elizabeth, there's a deep plot
To have you miss the train.
Yes, you'll have to take
My car. No, let me, sally.
Your car is all painted
With babies.
They've got all sorts of crazy
Things planned for you.
Well, let's drive on to sharon
And meet the train there.
No one must see
You leave.
Go out your bedroom window,
Down a ladder.
You too, alan.
You hurry up!
When was the last time
You climbed down a ladder?
Say, lay off that stuff,
Will you?
Nice to have seen you
Again, mimi.
And you look lovely, mimi,
Just lovely.
Thank you.
How am I doing?
Putting on a good show?
You're a good girl.
But I would take it
A little easy, mimi.
Oh, I'm all right.
Don't worry about me.
Got to laugh, haven't we?
Haven't we, tommy?
Oh, sure,
But not in their faces.
Hello, tommy.
Oh, hello.
How's the veteran
Best man?
Positively exhausted, and
There's still work to be done.
Uh, excuse me, mimi.
I've got
Their railroad tickets.
And, uh, see you later.
Here are
Your railroad tickets.
And, listen... How near
Ready are you? I'm all ready.
Well, I'd try to get away without
Seeing mimi again, if possible.
What's the matter?
She's gloriously lit.
And when mimi gets lit,
She glows.
You mean she might
Pull a scene?
No, I don't think she will
At all.
I'm just saying it's been
A beautiful wedding.
Let it ride. It's all
Right. Nobody will see them.
They're going down a ladder. Well, fine.
Ladders are right
In that lad's life.
He goes down one with a girl
And up another with her old man.
What are
You mumbling about?
Say, that's no way
To pack a bag.
All right, you do it.
Oh, easy on my stuff
There, fellas.
I'll go grab elizabeth.
Don't come in!
What are you doing?
Hurry up, will you?
How's she doing, girls?
Well, if you'd come in a moment
Ago, it would have been just did.
What is it now?
It is now
Just 20 minutes to 6:00.
Say, I'll have to come in
And help you.
Alan, if you come in here
This minute -
All right,
I'll give you 10 seconds.
1... 2... 3... 4... 5...
Count slow.
6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
Hello, sweetheart.
Ah, are we going to do this
All the time?
Oh, wouldn't that be
Just too bad?
Wouldn't it?
Will you go now, darling,
All right, I'll go,
But very reluctantly.
Oh, alan...
Uh, did you hear
About mimi?
A little, yes.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Is someone looking after her?
She's all right.
It's a funny thing.
I thought I'd be gloating
Over her today, but...
I'm not doing
Any gloating...
Not with those eyes
Looking at me.
She'll get over it,
Well, I'm glad
She's doing the getting.
And now that goes
For you, too.
You get out of here.
We've got to hurry.
Talk to me through the door. All right.
But don't you say
Anything delightful
Unless you lock this door.
Hello, mimi.
Been looking for you.
Have you?
I'm sorry about that crack
I made downstairs.
I was trying to be smart.
It wasn't so hot.
Oh, that's all right.
No, no, it wasn't.
The losing lover
Must be a lovely loser.
Well, you're lovely enough,
That's why you married me.
Where are you going
On your honeymoon?
We don't know yet.
Good place.
Say, it is at that,
Isn't it, huh?
Boat someplace, I guess.
Big boat?
Oh, I guess so.
You know how we'd have gone
On our honeymoon, alan?
No. How?
A rowboat?
Say, that would have been fun,
Wouldn't it, huh?
Wouldn't it?
But, you know, you'd have
Had to do the rowing.
Only we wouldn't
Even had any oars.
No oars?
Oh, gee.
No oars.
We'd just sit on the sea.
And then a yacht would come
Along and run into us.
And the yacht would sink,
And then they'd try
To get on our boat,
And we'd just leave them.
How would we leave them
Without any oars?
Oh. We had an engine
All the time.
Say, I - I
Must be a little -
Listen, mimi, don't you
Think you better blow?
I get you.
Thanks, mimi.
And I do hope
You'll be very happy.
I know you do, dear.
And you will.
She's worth marrying.
That job her father's gonna
Give you is worth a million.
The wine is a funny fellow,
Isn't he?
Imagine you saying
A thing like that.
Oh, I'm not a nice girl,
I tried every trick in the bag
To be the bride.
But I'm this nice.
I'm perfectly willing
To warn you -
When you come back...
I wouldn't have anything to do
With a girl like me
If I were you.
I'd keep the seven seas
Between us
And wish there were eight.
It's you, mimi.
It's all right.
It's just me wishing you
Goodbye and good luck.
Thank you, mimi.
That's sweet of you.
Gee, you're pretty.
So am I.
How about some coffee?
No, coffee
Always makes me sleepy.
Give it to jack.
Three columns, rush.
What is it?
I don't know.
Oh, hello, meg.
Mimi isn't home yet.
Where do you think
She could be?
Well, it's getting late.
Won't you try and find her,
I'm getting worried.
Sure, I'll try, meg.
I'll try.
But if I do find her,
What do I say?
Yeah, but, look, I'm nobody
To tell people to go home.
I don't know
When to go home myself.
Yeah, but she's gonna be
In a tough mood.
She won't want to listen
To any of this big-brother stuff
Or any lectures.
And I'm not so hot, anyway,
When it comes to that.
And you don't think
For a minute, do you -
It'll be all right, meg.
It'll be all right.
Sure, meg.
Don't worry.
Not so bad at that.
You're a good barfly, mimi.
I can take it.
Pretty good.
What you drinking?
Do you mind?
No. I'll just have a quick one
And blow.
How's the scotch
Holding out, gus?
They're still making it.
Make it high.
You had
A pretty close call.
Had me worried
For a minute.
Worried about what?
Did you think I was going
To cave? Now, don't be dumb.
I'm congratulating you
Because you almost won that guy
And didn't.
What are you talking about?
And what a fancy marriage
That would have been.
You don't like alan,
Is that it?
Why didn't you say so?
I have nothing against the lad,
But he has no dough.
What would you have lived on,
I ask you?
Your mother.
I have answered you.
Would you like to know
When alan comes back,
I'll be waiting for him.
Ah, now you're talking,
And, listen, he doesn't need
Any guardian, that lad.
He'll get a nice piece of change
From her all for himself.
You leave it to him.
What could be sweeter?
It's made-to-order.
I don't like you.
I don't know why
Mother does.
Don't you think
I have any charm?
No, I don't.
But mother always had a fancy
For no-account people.
Look at father.
Now, don't tell me
Your old man isn't charming.
Yes, he is, but he's no-account
Just the same.
He married mother,
Lost all her money for her,
And then walked out on her.
And your great love alan?
Isn't he a little bit no-account
From that viewpoint, too?
Jimmy, will you let up on me?
I'm almost crazy.
Look, I know you're having
A tough time, mimi.
I was at the wedding.
I saw you from a front seat.
And I heard
What you said, too.
"anything I ever hope for
Never comes true. "
If I had been alan wythe
At that moment,
I'm afraid I would
Have picked you up
And walked away with you.
But mr. Wythe
Won't forget that.
No, you left
Your calling card, lassie.
You brought the curtain down,
And you got that guy
Thinking plenty.
Still, love lost today.
So, I know you're suffering,
I know it's no good
To say I don't think
Love's worth suffering for.
Not the kind of love I've seen
All I've seen is the kind
That's all around us.
For my dough,
The real thing
Grows too high on a tree
For us to reach it -
On the highest branch.
And I've seen a lot of jumping
Up and down underneath the tree,
But very few that really knew
What they were jumping for.
However, there's always
The grape that can be reached.
And while I believe
Wine is for the victors
And not for drowning sorrows,
As is so popularly thought,
Still, anything touched
By the sun has kindness.
So, let's get
A little bit tight.
That's better than mooning alone
Behind walls.
So, you won't hear any more
Razzing of love from jimmy.
We'll drink to it...
If there is such a thing.
Here's to love.
Oh, awake?
I don't know what I am.
I remember
One time I had a hangover.
I never want another.
What did you do for it?
Ought I to take a drink?
I don't know, dear.
Every man
Knows his own stomach.
I don't want to know mine.
I must get the 12:15
Into town.
See you later.
Aren't you going
To say something?
I suppose I should.
Well, I think you should.
You know how I hate
Playing that kind of mother.
I'm ju-
Just not the type.
And there's something so awful
About a mother advising you
When you've had
A crack on the jaw,
To say nothing
Of a hangover with it.
But I want you to.
Well, first of all,
I suppose I should say
You'll get over it.
That is, if you're the kind
Of girl you should be.
What sort of a girl am I?
I don't know exactly, mimi.
You haven't been one thing
Or another.
You haven't wanted
A career of any sort.
And I don't think you're
Socially inclined, like...
Well, like elizabeth.
You just haven't been
Just a nothing
But a nothing, hmm?
But you have the makings.
You're my daughter.
And I don't want
To forget that.
Don't be sentimental.
You'll throw me off
The stern-parent stuff.
I'm sorry.
Well, let's see.
What are
The roads to recovery?
You get eager
About another man.
You get eager about work.
I don't care
What you're eager about, dear,
But it should be something.
What would you say if I thought
That alan had made a mistake
And that I intended to keep on
Being eager about him?
Do you intend to?
I don't believe it.
Because I think
You're better than that.
That's the mother in you
I'm really not.
Oh, mimi, I wish I knew
What to say exactly.
But this much I do know -
You ought to lay off alan.
Well, I think you ought
To answer that one yourself.
Suppose I didn't feel that way
About it.
Suppose I felt that I had
A right to alan.
What would you say to that?
Well, as long as you were doing
What you thought was right,
I'd be with you, even
Fight for you if necessary.
But I'm afraid I wouldn't have
Much sympathy for the cause.
That licks me.
Well, you can go now.
And you don't have to worry
About me anymore.
I'll get eager
About something else.
Maybe I'm not such
A rotten novelist after all.
Some of my characters
Are pretty swell people.
Well, I must run along.
Hey, ma.
How'd I ever happen
To get a mother like you?
You're much to young
To know.
Well, here's another one.
I'll take it.
I can't look any longer.
Apartment to let?
Yes, ma'am.
Step right in here.
Can't you bring it down?
Is this an apartment
For both you ladies?
No, just for my daughter.
Uh, we live in bayside,
But she just got a job
On the new york chronicle
In the art department,
And this would be very nice.
It's so close to the office.
The art department?
Well, I think
I have the very thing
That will suit your daughter. Oh, good.
How much is it, please?
I'm asking $20 a week.
That's almost more
Than I make.
But I'll love it.
Come on, feet.
Well, what about it?
Well, you won't be
The only things on my book.
The lottery and two weeks' rent
Are there already.
What do you think?
He thinks that flynn's
Going to k. o. Nestor.
And that thinking's gonna
Cost him dough, mimi.
Flynn has about as much
Chance as you'd have.
And who do you think's
Going to win, mimi?
I haven't any idea.
Jimmy, what do you
Think's happened?
What do you think -
Well, what's happened?
You got my job?
But you're not the only artist
On this paper now, my boy.
So, I was only going
To draw borders, was I?
Isn't that what you said,
Or does my memory deceive me?
I said you shouldn't expect
To be drawing anything else
For another year or so.
Isn't that what I said?
That's what you said.
And as usual,
You haven't been right yet.
Who are you betting
On at the fight? Flynn.
Then I'm betting on nestor.
All right, all right.
Now, what's happened?
I've drawn something else.
In fact,
I've already drawn an ad
For the
Hercules furniture company,
Which you see me
Hugging with both arms.
Why, mimi!
"why, mimi," indeed.
Well, well.
They start a new service
To help the advertisers,
And who gets first crack
At making it work?
And who gets a raise
For doing it, I ask you?
Yeah? You got a raise?
How much?
That is,
If you don't mind.
That's fair enough.
Jimmy, aren't you pleased
With me?
You know
What I've drawn first?
A bed.
Well, that's just something
You get out of.
You want to see it?
Well, after all, jimmy...
I'm - I'm not jimmy kilmartin.
Well, who is?
Come on.
Let's see it.
What did you say it was?
A bed.
What does it look like?
A horse?
Well, it looks like
A horse could sleep in it.
The advertising manager
Doesn't think so,
And that's much more important
Than any wisecrack you could -
Oh, wait a minute.
There it is.
Looks as good
As anything you ever drew.
Then you're a success.
And so you are, mimi.
So you are.
This is
Only the beginning.
Exciting, huh?
Yes, I'm excited.
I admit it.
It means a lot to me.
Means I'm making good.
And that's what
I started out to do.
Well, what do you know?
Oh, nothing.
Just struck me as odd
That here's the paper
Full of news of the world,
Life, and death,
And destiny.
What you're excited about's
A furniture ad.
Funny being
In the same paper.
"for members of the wedding
Party exclusively. "
Will mimi swift be there?
I've often wondered
How I'd feel
The day that would be
In the paper.
And I find, jimmy...
I find that I'm still excited
About my drawing.
Do you get that,
Mr. Kilmartin?
It means I'm all right.
I can go to their party.
Will I be there?
Will I be the same sad girl -
That's what you mean, isn't it?
What a disappointment
I'm going to give them.
Why, alan wythe
Means nothing to me now.
I love this bed.
Oh, yes, mr. Kilmartin.
Mimi swift will be there,
And I'm afraid she'll be
A little drunk...
With joy.
Flynn is a boxer.
Yeah? And how many boxers
Do y'all see
With a sleep-inducing punch
In both paws?
Why, he's as fast
As a lightweight.
Yeah, with a kick like a
Government mule. In both gloves.
Well, boys, I tell you.
Money still talks better
Than I do,
And it's even money
That says nestor by a knockout.
Good evening.
Good evening.
Mimi swift.
I haven't seen you since the
Night you proposed to marry me.
How'd that end up? Where
Have you been? Never mind.
Help me find elizabeth
And alan. Oh, I see.
You want to get over
The high hurdles first.
All right.
Come on, bright girl.
Oh, hello, mimi.
Oh, elizabeth.
Uh, elizabeth...
Look who I found.
Hello, mimi.
Hello, elizabeth.
I found her sitting
On the front doorsteps,
And I looked and I said,
"I know you, don't I?"
And, sure enough, I did.
Ah, mimi.
Nice to see you.
Hello, alan.
Well, marriage certainly
Agrees with you two.
Oh, now, mimi, don't be deceived
By our looks.
Someone has already
Come between us.
Kid nestor.
Charming swing.
Is, uh, that
What you're interested in?
Oh, you didn't know.
I'm drawing things like that
For a newspaper.
Oh. You don't mean
You're working?
On a paper, eh?
Mm-hmm. Ads.
Who's the singer?
I haven't any idea.
Somebody elizabeth
Dug up from someplace.
Lovely voice.
This isn't
Exactly what I expected.
What are you talking about?
I've been wondering
For some time just -
Just what it would be about
When you and I met again.
It's a cinch.
I didn't think it was going to
Be about furniture and singers.
What did you think
It was going to be about?
Mimi, I was more or less
Led to believe
It was going
To be about oceans.
Seas, as you put it.
That it wouldn't be safe for us
In this world
Unless there were eight of them
Between us.
The wine is a funny fellow,
As you put it.
So, it was the wine then,
After all, huh?
And as soon as I left,
All as if nothing had happened?
Not at first.
But I'm all right now.
And, uh, talking to me is just
Like talking to anybody else?
Aren't you glad?
Are you sorry
I'm not suffering?
No, I'm not sorry
You're not suffering.
What do you want?
Some other sweetheart?
The furniture.
Come on, now.
Quit your fooling.
Who else?
Not a soul.
So, this is the end, huh?
You know,
Somehow it's kind of sad.
Why should it be?
Can't we be friends?
Would you like that?
Say, I'd like that, too.
I think that's
A lovely idea -
Friends, I mean.
Of course.
Real friends,
Genuine friends.
Is there any finer
Friendship in this world
Than between two friends,
Alan dear, this party's
Incredibly dull.
I'm afraid we're just
An old married couple.
An old married couple
Is right, pal.
I'm sitting here talking
About furniture. Well, stop it.
That's a foul trick
To play on mimi.
No, it isn't.
I'm in love with furniture.
It's a terrific affair.
Everybody's talking about it.
Mimi and duncan phyfe
Have crawled in a wormhole.
You two, by any chance,
Aren't lucky enough to be
A little bit tight, are you?
Oh, darling, be kind to me.
I've been insulted.
My ego is hurt.
I thought mimi
Was carrying a torch for me,
And she says she can't believe
She ever was in love with me.
Doesn't even know I exist.
Oh, what is all this?
Torches, egos, wormholes.
I can't -
Say, you haven't heard
Anything yet.
We've got it all figured out,
Right down in blueprints.
We're going to be friends.
It's going to be
Sort of a -
Well, sort of a unique
Friendship, you see?
Uh, I, uh - she -
Alan, let me tell her.
Yes, you tell her.
Alan never loved me.
He liked me.
And now I like him.
That's all there is to it.
I want you to believe me.
Thank you, mimi.
And I do believe you.
You see? There you are.
That's what I said.
We're all friends.
Mimi and I are friends.
You and mimi are friends.
Why, everybody's friends.
You might say we're saturated
With friends, right?
And, say, what about this?
Why don't we all go at the
Fights together tomorrow night?
Oh, there we go again.
Didn't I tell you, mimi?
My rival - kid nestor.
Well, ain't you got
Anything left?
No. Even the cops are gonna have
To stand tonight.
$100 on slugger flynn.
Extra! Extra!
Read all about it!
Any of you guys
Got an extra ducket?
He wants a ducket.
You can't get one in town.
Nothing doing.
Mother, you and jimmy are going,
And that's final.
No, mimi, no.
I will -
Mother, you love fights,
And I don't.
If I went and you didn't, I
Wouldn't enjoy it. She means that.
You wouldn't have me
Have a rotten time, would you?
Oh, what can I say?
No chance of your great love
Coming through, is there?
All alan could get was two.
I'll be in my apartment
Come around
And tell me about it.
Oh, jimmy.
You might as well give me
The 5 bucks right now.
You never won in your life,
You've even got it on me.
But I'm going to the fights,
And you're not.
Laugh that off, lassie.
If you were a gentleman,
You'd give me your seat.
But I'm not.
My, my.
How you surprise me.
How are you?
What are you doing here?
Today of all days -
The fight.
That's what I'm doing here.
There they are,
And they're way down front, too.
But you've only got two.
What do we need more for?
Elizabeth isn't going?
What's the matter?
I drove her to bed
Talking about it.
She told me not to feel bad,
Said tomorrow would be
The happiest day of her life.
But, alan,
I can't go with you alone.
Are you crazy?
Well, you must be crazy
To think I would.
Oh, well, mimi.
I've got everything all wrong
How do you mean?
Well, I thought we were friends,
But I see I'm all haywire.
But, alan...
After all.
Yeah, after all.
"after all" what?
Does elizabeth know
You were going to take me?
Of course she knows it.
Look, mimi, you were there
When we talked about being
Friends, weren't you?
Yes, I was there.
Of course elizabeth
Knows all about it.
Oh, well.
That's different.
Listen, mimi, don't let's throw
This idea of ours
Right in the ash can
Before it's even started.
I've been thinking about it
Ever since.
And you and I
Have got an opportunity
No two other people
Ever had before.
The more I think of it,
The more lovely it gets.
It will probably get lovelier
All the time. You bet it will.
Is there a finer friendship in
This world than between two men?
But I'm not a man.
That's the idea
Of the game.
That's what makes it
So different.
We'll act exactly
As if you were a man.
Come on, now. Say you'll go.
Let's try it once, anyway.
Who are you betting on? Nestor? Yes.
It's a cakewalk.
Excuse me.
There you are,
My pretty one.
Is this all we're
Going to have?
Sure. We'll have something else
After the fight.
I'll take two more,
If you don't mind.
Two more?
Two more, boy.
All right.
Coming up.
Give me a couple
Of these, sir.
There you are.
You'll lose me.
This is the main event
Of the evening.
15 rounds of boxing.
Introducing, at 200 pounds,
The marvelous challenger -
Kid nestor.
In this corner, we have...
Miss mimi swift!
103 pounds.
At 218...
The champion -
Slugger flynn.
Jimmy, look!
Come on!
Come on!
Come on!
Right on the button!
Come on!
Come on, there!
Come on!
Come on, flynn!
Come on, nestor!
Come on, flynn!
8... 9... 10.
Just a few moments, please.
We're going to try and get the winner,
Kid nestor, to say a few words for you.
And here he is right
By the mike.
Here he is,
Ladies and gentlemen.
Hello, mother.
I ain't hurt none.
It was a great fight,
And the best man won.
Goodbye, mother.
Thanks a lot, kid.
That's beautiful.
Come on, mother.
Well, the best man won.
Good evening, radio audience.
And now dempsey's caf?.
During the evening,
I'm going to introduce you
To some well-known characters.
But wait a minute.
Here comes kid nestor.
Yes, folks.
He's going to speak to you.
Kid nestor.
2 to 1 he says it.
Oh, it couldn't happen.
There they are right there.
Okay, kid.
Hello, mother.
I ain't hurt none.
It was a great fight,
And the best man won.
Goodbye, mother.
Come on, kid nestor,
I have a table for you.
Thanks very much, mr. Nestor.
Let's give him a hand.
Right here.
Yes, this is it.
This is it.
This is the chair.
This one here?
I beg your pardon.
Yes, ma'am.
Would you do me a favor?
If I could.
Would you mind
Moving over?
I'm just as mystified
As you are, old man,
So it's all right.
You don't mind, right? No, no.
Watch your duck, now.
It's not a duck.
It's a capon, mister.
Oh, I beg your pardon.
It's all right.
Hello, gus.
You don't remember me,
But do I remember you!
Well, your face
Is familiar, miss.
Oh, I get it.
You were the young lady that
Was here with jimmy kilmartin.
The cartoonist on my paper.
The fellow mother was with
Tonight at dempsey's.
Oh, kilmartin.
The fight expert.
He lost his shirt on the fight,
And am I glad.
Don't you like him?
Oh, he thinks
He knows it all.
Mm, I get it.
What are you going to have
To drink?
I don't care.
Couple of anythings, gus.
I don't care, either.
A night in new york.
It's a tall town, isn't it?
It is when it hums.
I'm beautifully tired.
It's like a drug.
Well, I'm gonna send you to bed
Pretty soon.
I'm not tired, really.
Oh, no.
I know you're not tired.
I'll smoke one cigarette
In your little house,
And then I'll blow...
With the smoke.
It's time
For fun and mating
And I'll be with you soon
All the best folks
Are parading
On a sunday afternoon
We'll rent
A horse and carriage
And I'll be proud of you
We'll talk about a marriage
On the busy avenue
And then we'll ride
To the countryside
I'll burst with pride
In your sunday gown,
You're the talk of the town
Oh, you can have
The twilight
And you can have the moon
Give me those happy moments
On a sunday afternoon
Shut up!
I want to sleep!
Can you imagine
Anybody going to sleep
At this time
Of the morning?
Good night,
My pretty one.
You're not coming in?
I'm going
To walk out on you.
And if it hasn't been the
Gayest time I've had, mimi,
Don't ever
Give it to me gayer.
I couldn't take it.
Take your hat off a minute,
Will you?
Go on, take it off
Just a minute.
You're lovely.
Good night.
Good night.
How did you get in here?
The landlady let me in.
I told her
I was your brother.
Oh, I just came up
To talk about the fight.
What do you think?
Lovely fight, wasn't it?
Nice and bloody.
Or didn't you notice?
I didn't notice.
You didn't notice much
At dempsey's either, did you?
Except mr. Alan wythe.
Well, well, well.
"well, well, well" what?
You must be surprised.
About what?
To find me alone.
Of course not.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Oh, I see.
You just came around
And waited a few hours
To say good night.
That's sweet, jimmy.
You turned out to be pretty sweet
Yourself when it comes to that.
Oh, yeah, sure.
You were going to the ball to show
Them all how free you were of him.
You showed them tonight,
All right, sister.
I just love you
In the role of big brother.
It suits you perfectly.
Well, uh, good night.
Good night.
And thanks
For coming around.
Oh, sure. Okay.
Glad to give you a laugh
What's the difference?
Makes a lot of difference.
And I'm not kidding now,
I'm glad
You came around.
When I came in,
I wasn't thinking at all
About why this evening
Was so lovely.
I -
What I'm trying to say is...
Your being here
Made me realize
That alan is much better
Than you had expected him to be.
I'm very grateful, jimmy.
Are you trying to tell me
You're slipping
On that same old banana peel?
Maybe I am.
Would you like
To tell your mother that?
I know
She'd love a little talk.
Let's have lunch tomorrow.
And I think
I'll talk plenty.
Oh, I don't know
What I want.
And stop stalling, anyway,
You two.
Tell me the talk
I was promised.
Coming up.
You want a soapbox?
I don't need any.
I'm not trying
To sell anything.
Come, come, come.
Let's have it.
Well, mother...
I'm in love.
That's the big idea.
And he's in love with me.
Talked it all over, huh?
We never said a word.
And elizabeth -
Where does she come in?
I don't know.
Have you any plans?
We didn't talk.
I wish
There weren't any elizabeth.
What makes you think
He loves you?
Jimmy did.
No gags today, mimi.
All right, mother.
I just mean that alan
Didn't try to make love to me,
And I know
That he was happy.
What do you think
Will happen?
He will get a divorce
And marry me.
Listen to her, will you?
All right.
You talk, and I'll listen.
What do you think's going to
Happen? It ought to be good.
I've got no kick about what's
Really gonna happen, mimi,
But he isn't
Gonna marry you.
He isn't gonna get
A divorce.
That's not the way it's going
To be. But I'm not kicking.
My only quarrel with you is
You're just trying to kid yourself.
I'm not doing anything
Of the kind.
Oh, don't give me any more.
I can't stand it.
I'm not giving you anything.
I wouldn't give you anything.
Now, now, don't fight.
Oh, mother.
Jimmy's got such
A rotten outlook on things.
Now stop rewriting me.
It's just the baloney
I think's rotten.
I told you,
I've got no quarrel
With the way things
Are really gonna work out.
As far as I'm concerned,
That's all right.
Oh, yeah?
Well, it's not all right
With me.
But I don't know
What I can do about it.
Mother, it isn't going
To be like that,
In spite
Of what jimmy says.
I promised you I'd try to get
Interested in something else.
Well, it didn't work.
And now if alan loves me
As much as I love him -
And I think he does -
He can't keep on
With elizabeth.
But whatever happens...
Everything's going
To be aboveboard.
That's why I'm telling you
All this,
And I'm going
To tell elizabeth.
Well, that ought to make
For a beautiful friendship.
But, mimi -
It's no use, meg.
Elsie dinsmore's
Discovered life and love.
Who's calling?
Just a minute.
Miss swift, madam.
Oh, thank you.
Hello, mimi.
Oh, yes, I'm better.
Thank you.
I- I'm just being lazy.
Will I see you at dorothy's
No. I'm not going.
And, uh,
I suppose you can't.
Well, I'm going to try.
How were the fights
Last night?
Alan told me they were
More than exciting.
I'd rather have had
Scarlet fever than gone.
Not me.
I wouldn't have missed it
For anything.
Oh, my, my.
You must have enjoyed it.
You didn't mind my going alone
With alan, did you?
Mimi, of course
I didn't mind.
Try to understand
What I'm going to say.
The other night, I said a lot
Of things about friendship.
I meant them then.
But now, well...
Now they're not true
At least not for me.
What I'm trying to say is...
...I'm still in love
With alan.
Well, I -
I guess that's all.
This just came
By special messenger, mr. Wythe.
It was marked personal.
So, you didn't open it,
No, mr. Wythe.
That's right.
Hi, dear.
Hello, sweetheart.
How are you?
Oh, I am
Much, much better.
Aren't you going
To take my temperature?
Perfectly normal.
I cure them
In one sitting.
Ah, I see.
A swellheaded doctor, eh?
Don't sit over there.
Run and get dressed.
We're going to be late.
Yeah? For what?
Now, you know we're going
To dorothy's for dinner tonight.
Oh, say.
You know,
I forgot all about that.
Is there anything
On your mind, alan?
You seem
A little preoccupied.
No, nothing but business,
I guess.
What's that?
Is father driving you again?
Say, what's the idea?
Well, I'm sure
I don't know.
Do you know that I didn't get
Out of there till nearly 4:30?
Well, of all things.
And then what did you do?
Well, I was so all-in,
I just had to go over
To the club and recuperate.
You certainly did.
You know, there's reason
In all things.
Mimi telephoned today.
Oh, did she?
What did she have to say?
Oh, she said she -
She certainly enjoyed
Those fights last night.
What's the matter?
Well, I'm not going,
Mnh-mnh. No.
I - I really don't feel
Up to it.
Well, you don't think
You don't feel any -
Oh, no, no, no.
I'm perfectly all right,
Except I think it's rather
Silly to risk it. Oh.
Do you want to go alone?
No, I don't think so.
Well, then,
I'll tell you what you do.
There isn't any dinner here,
So why don't you run down
To the club and dine there?
Why not?
All right.
You do that.
I'll dine, then chat
With the boys for a while,
And then come on home.
It's the order of my maid.
Hello, gus.
I would like, uh,
One of anything.
Yes, sir.
It's not the mr. Alan wythe?
I'm afraid I don't, uh -
No, you don't know me.
But I know you.
I'm jimmy kilmartin.
Oh, yes.
Mimi swift
Has told me about you.
You're on her paper -
The, uh, cartoonist.
Staff artist to you.
Have it your own way.
How about a drink?
What are you having?
I'll take the same.
Make that two, gus.
Yes, sir.
Seen mimi lately?
I had lunch
With her today.
Oh. How is she?
Don't you know?
No. I haven't seen her
Since last night.
I don't like you.
What have you got against me? A lot.
That's not all.
More, eh?
Yeah, there's mimi.
Why don't you lay off?
I just told you I haven't seen
Her since last night.
Yeah, but you're going to.
Well, what's that to you,
A short life,
But a gay one.
A short life to you.
What's that to you?
Not a thing.
I just think
She's too good for you.
Oh, you do, eh?
How about a round on me?
Another round, gus.
Yes, sir.
Why don't you lay off
You said that before.
It's worth repeating.
You know, I don't like you much, either.
To our meeting.
And may it end quickly.
Well, drink up.
It's my turn.
No thanks.
You can't take it.
It's not the drinks.
It's the company.
I see what you mean.
Why don't you lay off
Why don't I punch you
Right in the nose?
Well, why don't you?
I think I will.
Gentlemen, gentlemen,
Please, not in here.
It'll only take a minute,
Quit stalling.
Sorry, gus.
Thanks for the drink,
Old man.
Are you all right,
Mr. Kilmartin?
Sure, I'm all right.
I always get hit.
That man's here again.
Carry him in.
And where shall I put him?
Oh, just dump him
Now, wait a minute.
You can't treat him
Like that.
He's marked fragile.
He needs
A lot of care and kindness.
In fact,
What he really needs
Is more of the same kind
Of medicine
You gave him last night.
There's plenty left over.
That's what I mean, mimi.
You're fun.
You're swell.
Say, why can't things
Be like this all the time?
Can't they?
What is it, mimi?
Is this the way
You want it to be always?
Of course it is.
Of course,
Elizabeth's to know.
Did she tell you
I telephoned?
Uh, well...
She -
She just said you did.
I didn't say anything
About you caring for me.
I put it all
The other way.
But now -
Not now, mimi.
I know that -
Well, I know we've got
A lot of talking to do,
But don't let's do it now.
I want another night
Like last night.
I want to laugh
And have fun.
Say, there's a peach of a fight
In brooklyn,
And we can just make it
If you'll hurry.
Come on, get your hat on.
Will you?
All right.
Say, I'll bet you
That's kilmartin.
I had a little argument with him
Over at gus'.
You did?
I did.
That's elizabeth.
How do you know?
I just know.
And I'm glad.
May I come in?
Of course.
How long have you lived here,
About three months.
Oh, I like it.
Well, between three old friends,
May I have a drink?
What will you have?
All I've got is scotch.
Well, what a minute, mimi.
Uh, let's talk first,
And then we'll drink
To whatever it is.
How's that?
All right.
This isn't exactly
As I expected it.
You both look so -
So self-assured.
I don't get you, elizabeth.
Well, all I mean, alan,
Is that, uh, I'm confused
By the way you look.
I've never seen you look
Quite like that before.
I don't think
We'll have to talk much.
I don't think
We'll have to talk any.
I think you're in love
With her, alan,
And all you want
Is a divorce.
Well, you must be
A magician, mimi.
I'll tell you
Why I'm so surprised.
On our honeymoon,
I knew, oh, right away
That alan didn't love me.
Women can hide the way
They feel, but men can't.
So, I was very unhappy
For a time.
I could only think
That he was still in love
With you, mimi...
...that he'd only married me
Because I was a rich girl.
Naturally, having rated him
As something much higher
Than a fortune hunter, I...
I found myself married to a man
Who had lost his size...
...and who was
Just ordinary.
Isn't very pretty, is it?
And then...
Then I began to realize
Something else,
And it was strange.
He was trying to be in love
With me.
So hard.
The effort was desperate.
And I knew that alan had
Never been in love
And never would be.
But in his not wanting
To be like that,
That made a difference.
And instead of hating him
For being ordinary,
I felt sorry for him,
Because I had on my hands
A very lonely man.
Being in love with him,
What was I to do?
I knew there'd be a parade
Of women,
Since he'd be trying
To find love someplace.
But to offset that,
They wouldn't have
Any of his heart,
Because he had none
To give them.
And in view of the fact
That he married me
Seemed to say
That he liked me better
Than any of the others.
It wasn't much to have,
But it was that much.
And added to all that,
It isn't everybody
Who can charm and amuse me.
So, I was going
To let it all ride.
But I - I wouldn't want alan
In love with another woman.
He wouldn't be very charming
Or very amusing
With a heavy heart.
So, now that he is in love
At last, I...
...I guess I had it pegged
All wrong.
I think
I'll pass up that drink.
I don't think I'll be good
At being noble much longer.
You're wrong about alan
And his parade.
But you're first-class,
Wouldn't it be funny, mimi,
If alan got sick
And you and I
Went to the fights?
There goes a general
In any woman's army...
...even though she did lose.
The losers are always
The wisest, aren't they?
What, alan?
We might promote her
To a full general.
Alan, don't.
Dear, this had to happen.
Might even make her
An admiral.
It was best
To get it over with.
I never had
My portrait painted before.
The real artist.
All this time
I've been married,
I've been sitting
For my portrait
And didn't even know it.
Wait a minute.
I heard everything
She said, too,
And it hasn't changed anything
For us.
Nothing's gone.
We haven't lost anything.
And when the cards are called
As pretty as she called them,
There's nothing to do
But let them ride.
I had no idea of a divorce
When I came down here, mimi.
I wasn't even thinking of it.
I was excited, that's all.
But, alan.
She clocked it, mimi.
You were to be
In the parade.
Oh, right in front,
But in the parade nevertheless.
Then that charm of last night
Gets busy again, and...
You believed so strongly
That it was a great love
That, well,
I guess I caught a little
Of the high-powered magic
From you
And thought I was in love
At last.
That's what I thought,
That's what I thought.
And brooklyn
Was the garden of allah.
But it could be.
Alan, don't let's lose -
And then in comes
A wise guy
And holds a mirror
In front of my face,
And there I am...
Staring at myself
The way I really am.
Let's have it all.
Don't stop there.
This between you and me -
It isn't just gone.
It just wasn't ever there.
That's what you're trying
To say, isn't it?
I guess that's it, mimi.
I'm afraid you're
A pretty lucky girl, mimi.
We're both lucky...
I guess.
Maybe I've got
Some luck left.
You'd better go now.
I'm a smart one,
All right.
Man, boy.
They never saw
Anything like me.
I was going to be
Modern and honest.
Streamlined, I was.
I was going to take you away
From elizabeth.
And all I did
Was tuck you both
In an old-fashioned four-poster
For the rest of your lives.
Who is it?
It's me.
Move over.
You've got a new member.
Is this a social call,
Or are you just out
Ringing doorbells?
Don't gag, jimmy.
Talk or shut up
Or go back to sleep.
I don't care.
But don't be smart.
I couldn't stand it.
You want a drink, mimi?
No, I don't want a drink.
I don't know what I want.
I wanted a bright new toy.
Well, I got it
For a moment...
Only it wasn't very bright.
It was dull...
And not worth having.
Well, why don't you say,
"I told you so"?
Go on - crow.
It might help.
Mimi, you know I never crow
Before daybreak.
Look, I was asleep.
I was minding
My own business.
I was dreaming
About a blonde.
She was rich, too.
I didn't come to see you.
You woke me up.
All right.
Fight with me.
Go on.
Make me sore.
At least
Make me feel something.
Oh, no, not me.
I tried to make you cry once,
And what did I get for it?
If you want to cry,
Go ahead.
You won't get
Any help from me.
That's just it.
I can't cry.
I'm empty and dry.
I've gone dead,
And I don't like it.
Jimmy, I'm frightened.
You're not dead.
You're just knocked out,
That's all.
You'll come to.
Oh, you know it all,
Don't you?
Dr. Kilmartin knows all,
Cures all.
Dr. Kilmartin's a quack.
He makes me sick.
Now, wait a minute.
Now, don't talk.
I'm sick of talk.
Just don't say anything.
That's great.
That's fine.
You wake me up
At 4:00 in the morning
And tell me
Not to say anything.
Okay, you win.
I'm going back to sleep.
Thanks, jimmy.
Get me out of here.
Get a car.
Hire it.
Steal it.
I don't care.
But get me out.
Well, what will we use
For money?
I've got some.
Now you get out of here
While I put on my pants.
The old kilmartin code -
Never put on your pants
In public.
And so,
He walked out of my life
And back into elizabeth's...
Leaving me with my memories.
As dismal a group
As I'd ever kept company with.
Feeling better?
I'm feeling better, jimmy.
I have to hand it to you.
For once in your life,
You were right.
Remember what you said
About alan
That night
After the wedding at gus'?
Don't tell me
I said something.
Wait a minute.
That wasn't all you said,
You said you didn't think
Love was worth suffering for.
There was no such thing
As real love.
Just a lot of people
Trying to manufacture it.
You said that, too?
And, jimmy,
You were right.
I know now
Why I fell for alan again.
You do?
I fell for him because I still
Wanted so much to be in love.
I didn't believe you,
I mean, I'm hearing
For the first time
What you were talking
About that night.
Came the dawn, huh?
You knew what was going on
All the time, didn't you?
Even way back then.
You had it
All figured out.
And that's good going, jimmy.
That's first-rate.
I'm feeling fine now.
I feel like you feel.
I'm rid of
All that longing
For something
That really isn't there.
You sure?
I feel all friendly.
I like alan.
I like elizabeth.
I like you.
Come, come.
Now you're going too far.
No, I mean it, jimmy.
I like you especially.
You dismiss love.
But you don't laugh at it.
You're the best man
I know.
And if I'm lucky,
I'm going to be your friend.
You are?
Well, that suits me.
I mean the kind of friends
That when we go out together
And you see somebody
Who strikes your fancy,
You go and grab her,
Walk out on me,
Just as if
I weren't there...
Just as if I were
One of the boys.
And if she gives you the go-by,
Well, there I am.
I'll buy it.
And to prove it's a deal,
I'll cancel that 5 bucks
I owe you.
Hey, wait a minute.
Stop the car.
I didn't even touch you.
No, stop the car.
There's a man back there.
So what?
He wants a lift.
Oh, I get it.
Just brimming over
With the milk of human kindness.
Mimi swift,
Friend of the people, huh?
You want a lift, pop?
Well, I certainly would
Appreciate it. Hop in.
Oh, thank you
Very much.
It's a big lift to me,
You know?
'Cause I got
Quite a distance to go.
Well, I'm mighty obliged
To you, sir.
All right.
Where you bound?
Well, I was headed
For new rochelle.
New rochelle, it is.
Jimmy, that's miles.
He's your friend.
You been hiking long?
About three days.
I live in baltimore.
That's a city
In the united states.
She's not very bright.
Is that so?
I'm going to see
My daughter.
I haven't seen her
Since she got married.
Almost a year ago now.
How old is she?
She's, uh - let me see -
Uh, 17.
Well, I'm 17, too.
Is that so?
I'd have took your old lady
To be more than 17, sir.
Oh, well,
These brunettes fade early.
You two got any children?
Only two - twins.
A couple of fine boys,
If I do say it myself.
That so?
Ha. My daughter just had a boy.
That's why I'm going up
To new rochelle.
What do you call your boys?
John doe and richard roe.
John's five minutes older
Than richard,
But you'd never know it.
I expect
It'll be nip and tuck
Between them
The rest of their lives.
Hey, mother, why didn't
We call them nip and tuck?
You know
How I hate family names.
Darling, be careful.
Remember your weak throat. Mm.
I reckon your wife takes
Mighty good care of you, sir.
We're not married.
Not married?
But you said -
We're just pals.
Well, that's nice.
You see, mother?
Sure, she sees.
What makes you think
I see?
Explain it to her,
Well, it's like this.
That's enough, jimmy.
When anything starts,
"well, it's like this,"
You can't explain it.
Oh, mother.
All you've said is, you've both
Come to a great understanding -
There's no such thing
As love.
That's right.
You've put it
Out of your lives.
Friendship rules triumphant.
How can you sit there
And not get excited
Over all this, meg?
Why, mimi,
Your own daughter -
She's come out
Of the ether.
She's through
With all that romantic mush.
She isn't fooled by it
Why, she's one woman
In a million.
She's a real person now.
Mimi, look at jimmy.
Not me. Him.
Jimmy, look at mimi.
What is all this?
Look at her.
Look at her eyes -
They're sparkling.
Well, why not?
You idiots, don't you know love
When you see it?
Mother, stop it.
It isn't what you say.
This isn't like you,
I can't help it.
You look so foolish.
Jimmy, make her stop it.
Meg, behave yourself.
All right.
I apologize.
Honest, I do.
I'll see
About your breakfast.
It's ridiculous.
It's idiotic.
What came over her?
I don't know.
It was all so swell.
And now everything's spoiled,
Isn't it?
I guess so.
That is -
Of course it is.
Well, if you say so.
What do you mean?
Well, I didn't
Say anything.
Well, you - you didn't
Not say anything.
What are you grinning about?
Hey, mimi, what if meg's
Not so crazy after all?
Why, jimmy,
You don't mean -
I mean,
You don't think I...
Gee whiz!
Hey, wait a minute.
Come here.
Look at that.
Look at him.
What do you feel?
What else?
And I'm hungry.
That'll do.
Come here.
How do you feel now?
Would you mind
Trying that again?
Does that excite you?
I'm not hungry anymore.
That did it!
The end
Of a beautiful friendship.