Married by Christmas (2016) Movie Script

[alarm beeping]
[Christmas music plays]
it's that time of year again
When I ask you for some things
from the North Pole
I want a dress, a lollipop
And a diamond chain
But every year my stocking's
filled with coal
So make a list
Check it twice
I think you know
who's naughty or nice
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- I hope it's true
- Thank you. Good morning.
- Oh, Santa
- Good morning. Hi!
- Hi.
- Okay, so now, your 2:00 is moved to 5:30,
so I canceled cocktails
with Will Ambrose.
You have a 4 a.m.
conference call
with New York in the morning.
I need you to review
and sign these.
- These are done.
- Oh, great. Excellent.
- Here you go. Pen. All right.
- No.
And I need you to decide between
this generic holiday goose
with a bow around its neck,
or this winter wonderland cabin
for this year's
P.C. corporate holiday card.
Shouldn't there be a picture of fruit
or a chocolate manger or something?
We're a food
distribution company.
I don't make the cards,
I just sign your name to em.
Okay, um... goose.
You can eat that, right?
Yeah, if you live
in a Dickens novel.
Oh, can you put out a memo
that we're gonna close up shop
early tomorrow
for Thanksgiving Eve, please?
Really? Does that privilege
extend to your humble assistant?
- It does.
- Are you going soft on me?
No. I have plenty to do,
but Mom's forcing me
to come over and
stuff a Turducken.
Why in the world would
your mother let you cook?
Because the professional chef in the
family is bringing home her new boyfriend.
- Ooh! Have you met him yet?
- No, no one has.
But, um, Katie says
there's some big surprise,
so while you're at it, can you
make me a list of wedding venues,
a spreadsheet, because the girl is
as transparent as tissue paper.
- Oh! That's so exciting!
- Is it?
You're such a grump before
you have any caffeine. Here.
Oh, speaking of which,
don't forget you have
coffee with your dad at 5:00.
Oh! He wants to go over
the Rowling Vineyards proposal.
Well, as the person
that personally piloted
your exhaustive research, I can
assure you, you're prepared.
I'm gonna ask him
to let me run the deal.
- Go team!
- [chuckles] Oh, by the way,
did you finalize the rentals
for the holiday office party?
- Yep.
- Fantastic. I want everything to be perfect.
You guys deserve it.
Basically, my whole goal
is for everyone to have so much
fun that their head explodes.
That's festive.
Oh, also, can you
Google Turducken?
Oh, yes. It's a chicken stuffed inside
of a duck stuffed inside of a turkey.
Okay, I'm gonna need
some rubber gloves.
Katie's engaged.
Mm! Love is in the air.
So is the swine flu, Zelda.
Don't offend Cupid, Carrie Tate.
He could have an arrow
with your name on it.
[Zelda chuckles]
How do you misspell "Mark"?
Oh! With a hint of irony
and extra foam, apparently.
- That is... I mean, cheers.
- Cheers. Mm.
So, Dad, a golf game, coffee.
Plan on making it into
the office anytime soon?
I don't have to be
a workaholic anymore,
because you've
taken over that job.
Oh, okay! So I can have
your big corner office too?
- Wonderful.
- Patience, grasshopper.
When have you ever
known me to have patience?
- Ah...
- I can, however, rock a spreadsheet.
- The cover art's impressive.
- I try.
Okay. So, Rowling Vineyards.
They're a winery in Napa.
And just this last year, their
entire Pinot crop was destroyed
by black rot and now they're
on the verge of bankruptcy.
- Mm-hm.
- So I believe that we could recoup
our entire initial investment
in, listen to this, six months,
if we just
streamline operations.
- You're talking about layoffs?
- That's a sticking point.
So the company currently has
about 25 full-time employees.
And the family's very concerned for their
welfare so they want everyone kept on.
- So how do you get around that?
- We don't necessarily have to.
They aren't utilizing their
resources to the fullest potential,
and we would bring them
into national distribution.
Dad? I want to run
this deal by myself.
Carrie, if you hadn't asked,
I would have offered
it to you anyway.
- You're ready.
- [sighs] I know.
- And humble, too.
- [chuckles]
Yeah. Well, Emerson Foods
is everything to me, Dad.
I know, Care-Bear. But please don't
forget to take a day off now and then.
You know, just to give the cleaning
lady a chance to vacuum your office.
- Thank you.
- Shows what you know, sir.
I gave my entire team
off tomorrow afternoon. Hm!
[laughs] Hm!
You can't fool me. Hm!
'Cause I know that you were called home
for kitchen duty by Sergeant Bitsy.
Yes. Uh... Yeah, I think she just wants
someone to gush to over Katie's new boy.
Ah, yes. The big surprise.
Katie's in love.
Your mother is all
atwitter about it.
Munchkin, try to keep her
from driving your sister crazy
- when she gets in.
- Promise.
Good. That's my girl.
Oh, please, don't. Okay.
You know what?
The next time you go golfing,
you should get one of those
Scottish hats with the big pom-pom,
and do this and...
it demands respect. Truly.
- Yes.
- Now you know what to get me for Christmas.
Oh, my goodness.
Look at how cute we are.
Oh, my God. You are gorgeous.
[Katie] I can't wait till Carrie gets here.
You're gonna love her.
- Hello!
- She's here!
Hi! Ethan, I am
exceptionally pleased
to introduce you
to my sister, Carrie.
Her beauty is only surpassed
by her business acumen.
- Oh, stop.
- I am so glad to finally meet you.
- Me too.
- Oh, no, no, no!
I don't shake hands.
- I'm a hugger.
- Okay!
- Okay! Ah!
- Ah!
Hi! Wow! So this
is the famous Ethan.
Tell me, how did you manage to drag
this one away from her restaurant?
Oh, I didn't.
I am one of her vendors.
Mm! Ethan has
a prospering organic farm.
We serve his vegetables
at the restaurant,
- and they are simply stunning.
- Thanks, babe.
Well played, Ethan. If anything
can turn this one's head,
- it's an heirloom tomato.
- He also forages.
- Oh.
- Mm-hm. Truffles...
- Uh-huh. Wow.
- Mushrooms, and pine nuts.
- Hm...
- He's a trailblazer in the wild food movement.
- I teach a class on it.
- So you just find food?
Like a mountain man or...?
Basically, but with
a little less beard.
Mm-hm. It's an impactful
skill to possess.
- I'm sure.
- We will never starve so long as I have these.
- Let's eat.
- Carrie, you really have to come up to Napa.
You haven't been to the
restaurant since the opening
and I know that you
would love Ethan's farm.
- I know. I'm sure.
- We're harvesting Brussels sprouts.
- It's a blast!
- [forced laugh]
Thanks, but, you know, I'm just... I've
been so swamped with work, Katie.
And it's... it's my baby.
And my boyfriend.
And my weekends and my
vacations, and, uh...
- But I love it, so and...
- That is exactly how I feel about the restaurant.
[Ethan] Hey, what about me?
Well, you, darling, are my sun,
my moon, and my sky.
- Oh! There she is!
- Hi, Mom.
Hi, honey. Dinner is served.
Hope they don't sit us
in the kids' table.
[laughs] He's such a jokester.
Ethan, I totally love that you're growing
some of the vegetables or whatever.
But, Katie, when am I going to get you
to accept an Emerson Food contract?
Uh, well, you know, I really am
trying to be more farm-to-table.
What are... It's not like we sell
vegetables grown in outer space.
I just like to have a relationship
with the farmers that I buy from.
- Mm. Clearly, you do.
- Okay.
Is this a really appropriate
Thanksgiving dinner conversation?
Fine. Fine, no business
talk at the table.
That's right. You promised.
So what is this surprise you
have for us, Miss Katie?
Hm... -[Carrie gasps]
You're pregnant, aren't you?
- Oh, Katie! Are you?
- [Carrie] What?
No! You are terrible! -[Ethan]
Come on, Katie, we can tell 'em.
We will tell them at the right
moment and not a second sooner.
Ooh. Practically perfect
Katie has a plan.
Perpetually pesky Carrie
will annoy her older sister.
And in the meantime, my
Turducken is getting cold.
That's right.
Shall we call a truce, girls?
Fine. Only in the name
of warm Turducken.
- Mm-hm! To warm Turducken!
- [Bitsy] Hear! Hear!
To my warm Turducken.
- Mom!
- I've always loved your warm Turducken, darling.
- Oh, stop!
- Jesus!
[indistinct conversation]
[fork dings on glass]
I would like to say something.
I am full of
gratitude this year.
My restaurant is
doing magnificently.
I have a loyal and gracious staff.
They are just so talented.
And I am so very inspired.
I'm thankful for my family.
You all have offered nothing
but love and support.
And I am very, very thankful
for this divine man
sitting right here.
I know I told you all
that I have a surprise,
so clear your calendars
for Christmas Eve
because you are invited
to a holiday wedding!
- [gasps]
- We're engaged!
- [all laughing, shouting]
- Oh, my Katie!
Oh, congratulations!
I never would have guessed!
- Oh!
- You'll be the most beautiful bride!
- Mom, thank you!
- Welcome to the family. Okay!
All right!
- Yeah. I already knew.
- You know everything.
[Carrie] Okay, so this
one right here?
[Bitsy] I think it looks darn
close to perfect, don't you?
- I think so.
- Oh! Is the game over, boys?
- Don't ask.
- I'm sorry, honey. But you know what?
I'm really glad you're here,
'cause I could use your help.
Girls, Ethan. Your mother
and I have something
we'd like to discuss with you.
Maybe we should have
some more eggnog first.
Uh-oh! Mom's plying us with
alcohol and hospitality, Katie.
- It must be serious.
- Dad, please don't let this
be some ridiculous family
initiation for Ethan.
I've only just secured
his undying love.
Don't make him
regret the decision.
We just need to discuss
some family business.
Um, it's about your grandmother.
- What's wrong with Nana?
- Nana's fine.
No, your grandmother Lucille, about her...
about her will, actually.
Her will?
Mark? Okay.
God, I don't know
how to say this. Okay.
My mother had some very strong
feelings about certain things,
like gender roles.
She was just...
- Old-fashioned?
- Yes.
[laughs] Stiff as a
board is more like it.
One time she took us slip shopping
because a proper young lady
never leaves the house... -[both]
Without appropriate undergarments!
Do you remember when she made us learn how
to fold the napkins into little swans
- and we'd chuck them off the balcony?
- Swan dive!
- Swan dive!
- Okay, girls. Please, please.
Okay, just let me
get through this.
So when Daddy died, he left the
company entirely to my mother,
who didn't believe that women
should be involved in business,
so when she passed, she didn't
leave the company to me.
She left it to... one of you.
Which one of us?
She had a provision in her will
that whichever one
of you marries first,
the company would immediately
go to that daughter's husband.
- Mom, that's not funny.
- I know.
- It's really not.
- Dad, come on.
- Honey, please. Please.
- What?!
Why didn't you
tell us about this?
Because I did not want
to spark some sort of
competition between
the two of you.
What does...
what does this mean?
Well, it means that after
you and Ethan get married,
Ethan will own Emerson Foods.
Okay, this is ridiculous! There has
to be something we can do about this!
Believe me, I under...
We have tried.
We have been to so many
attorneys over the years.
This is so unfair! Dad, come on!
[Katie] Okay, Carrie
has worked so hard.
- Emerson Food is her dream.
- Thank you.
I don't want the company.
This isn't right.
- Carrie, I will give it to you.
- Okay.
Katie, let's just think
about this for a minute.
[Carrie] What is that
supposed to mean?
[Ethan] I just don't think
Katie should be so hasty.
This is a big deal, and maybe
everybody should sleep on it
before we make
any big decisions.
You don't have
to make any decisions!
None of this has
anything to do with you!
Well, apparently, I do.
- Okay, um...
- This is exactly what I didn't want to have happen.
I am so sorry, honeys.
We have tried on this,
but our hands are tied.
[Katie] Carrie,
we can figure this out.
That's really easy
for you to say.
Honey, I know why you're angry.
You have every right...
[Ethan] We're gonna get through
this. Okay? We're gonna be okay.
Everything's gonna be fine.
Nothing's set in stone.
The whole point of this conversation is
that it's set in stone! Be quiet, please!
Carrie, stop yelling at Ethan!
- Katie, just let her get it out.
- You know what? No!
You know what? Never mind.
Why don't we all
just decorate for Christmas!
Oh, everyone!
Be careful, don't put
Mrs. Santa above Santa.
We wouldn't want her to get
any ideas about taking over.
Really, Dad?
Mr. Courtney.
- Mark Tate.
- Dylan Courtney. Pleasure.
- Hi, Carrie Tate.
- Hi, Carrie. Pleasure.
This is... you already
met... my assistant.
- We didn't shake. Soft.
- Oh!
- Can we offer you some coffee?
- No, I'm fine. Thank you.
- Okay.
- All right, that's...
- Oh, okay, all right. Bye!
- Oh. Bye.
I'm... I'm sorry. I thought that I was
speaking with Tom or Marilyn today.
No, the Rowlings retained
me as independent counsel.
- I see.
- Shall we begin?
Oh, of course.
First off, just let it be
known that the only reason
why the Rowlings are doing this is because
they want to secure their employees' jobs.
I mean, they never wanted to
be swallowed by a bigger fish.
Well, Emerson Foods
is a family company.
It is. A very big family company
with a very different vision.
What exactly do
you mean by that?
Well, it means the Rowlings
are a little gun-shy
about being co-opted
by a company
who could turn their
100-year-old family vineyard
into something that
slings wine coolers.
I understand, and
I agree, actually.
But they'd rather die on their
artisanal swords than go corporate?
They'd like to preserve
the character of the company.
Right. I'm just not sure
they're in any position
to be picky, Mr. Courtney.
Listen, we're both aware that
this is the perfect opportunity
for Emerson Foods to move into
the alcoholic beverages market.
Yes. Be that as it may, I don't
think there are many companies
out there willing to
take on a failing vineyard.
That may be true, but what they
really need is some guidance.
What they really
need is some help.
I'm... I'm sorry,
maybe we misunderstood.
We're not here to offer
consultation services.
That's understood, but I'm also not
here to offer up my clients' company
to the first bidder out of fear.
Mr. Courtney, I think
you misunderstand the nature...
- I think I understand perfectly.
- Let's just cut to the chase.
We're prepared to make
an offer today.
[Dylan clears throat]
That's a ridiculous offer.
- I disagree.
- [chuckles] I'm sure you do.
- [scoffs]
- Okay. This was a waste of time.
Mr. Courtney, I think
it's a very generous offer.
Well, here's what I'll do.
I will take your generous
offer to the Rowlings
and I'll see what
they have to say.
- Until then, nice meeting you.
- Mr. Courtney.
- Ms. Tate.
- No, please. Don't let us keep you.
You clearly have urgent plans
to get somewhere, so...
I'll be in touch later this
week with a counter offer.
Thank you.
Okay, okay, okay. [exhales]
[woman on voice mail] Hi, Carrie.
It's Michelle Sullivan.
Listen, I've gone over
the will and, unfortunately,
your only recourse is going to be
convincing your future brother-in-law
to sign the company over
to you after the wedding.
When and if Katie marries first, Emerson
Foods will pass to her husband.
I'm sorry I can't
give you better news.
Was that The
Hunger Games over here?
- Huh?
- Mr. Courtney.
No, I really... I don't have
time to think about that.
My entire life is crumbling
before my very eyes.
- That was the lawyer on the phone?
- Yes.
When and if Katie gets married,
Ethan gets the company.
- Well, what's the "if"?
- There is... nothing.
Technically, I could
still get married first.
What did... Technically, I could
still get married first.
Zelda, I have a plan!
I... I just... what... I just
have to get married first!
- Oh, here we go. No.
- Stop, listen! No, stop!
Thank about this. I can just approach
it like hiring a new associate.
I can make a suitable list of
candidates and conduct some interviews,
and... and then I hire someone, if it
doesn't work out, I terminate employment.
Are you saying you're gonna
hire someone to marry you?
- No! What is wrong...
- Oh, okay.
Why can't I find someone just to actually
marry me, and sign the company over,
and after the appropriate amount
of time, we get a divorce.
What's the appropriate amount of time
for a corporate takeover marriage?
Can you just make me a list
of the... the websites,
the dating things that kids
are using these days?
Why don't you just
talk to Katie and Ethan?
- No, it's just too much drama.
- This isn't dramatic?
Listen, I'm not mad at Katie, okay, and I
don't want things to get ugly with Ethan.
This just makes the
decision for everyone.
I get married first,
I get Emerson Foods.
Hm... okay.
Go, Zelda, go! It's amazing!
Go! It's a plan!
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
[up-tempo music playing]
[up-tempo music continuing]
[up-tempo music continuing]
This isn't working. How can
the pool of eligible men be so...
- Completely and totally lame?
- Yes.
- It's hard to get back in the game.
- This isn't a game.
Oh, right. I forgot this was a well
thought out and perfectly logical plan.
Please don't make fun of me.
I just need ideas.
Okay. Uh...
Uh, personal ad?
No. I'm picturing
skeevy stalker types.
Speed dating? Hm? I did it.
What? Is there something
faster than what I'm doing now?
Oh. Social media.
Catching up with old pals,
cute guys from the past, the one that
got away. You have one of those?
- No.
- Huh? Come on. Everyone's got the one.
Oh! Well, there was, um...
there was Paul.
Ooh! Who's Paul?
We were, uh, pretty
close in high school.
And actually, I always thought that
we would eventually end up together.
- Okay. This sounds good. Paul.
- But I haven't talked to him in years.
- Where's Paul now?
- Uh, I think he lives here.
- My mom keeps up with his mom.
- Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner!
- Call her. Call her on the phone.
- Who? What?
Call your mom! Call and see
if she still talks to his mom
and, like, "Can I
get his number?"
- Really?
- Yeah!
- Like, randomly?
- Yeah.
- What do I say?
- Say something about the party.
- Okay, hold on. Okay.
- Be casual, be like...
- [Bitsy] Hello?
- Hey, Mom. Um, random question.
Have you talked
to Connie Taylor lately?
Taylor, ooh! Yeah,
I like it. Yeah!
- You do?
- [Bitsy talks indistinctly]
- Yeah?
- Let's have it.
Can you give me her number?
[jazzy version
of "Jingle Bells" plays]
[laughs] How has it possibly been this
long since we've gotten together?
Well, your mother stopped paying me to
hang out with you after high school.
Really? What's
in it for you now?
Well, free lattes.
Thank you, by the way.
Ah. Uh-huh. It's lattes
or loneliness for me.
Well... [sighs]
I guess you're worth it.
Okay. So we have both
been ridiculously busy.
- Ah! Not an excuse.
- And we never talk anymore.
- Sadly true.
- And now in the season of giving and peppermint lattes...
Ew! No, no, no. Egg nog lattes.
Peppermint is disgusting.
In the season of egg nog lattes, you lure me
to a semi-private location for what purposes,
- I can only imagine.
- Hm? I just missed you.
I miss you too.
But I am not completely
without wiles.
Um, Katie's getting married.
Katie is getting married?
That is great.
Yes, I know. It's wonderful.
- Oh, I sense a little intensity.
- More on that later.
Good, 'cause I love it
when the plot thickens.
Okay. First things first.
My mom and I are throwing
Katie an engagement party
and I was wondering if you
would go with me, as my date.
- A real date?
- Yep!
Please say yes. I am
utterly without alternatives.
- How flattering.
- No...
Will you go with me or not?
[clears throat]
I would be honored
to escort you to the celebration
of your sister's betrothal.
- Too much?
- No, it was... it was amazing.
- For the cheap seats in the back.
- You're welcome.
- You're right, you're welcome.
- I said yes. I said yes.
[indistinct laughter, chatter]
There's two on the thing.
- Hi! Oh, this is nice!
- Hey, Carrie. Carrie.
- Hey.
- Hi!
Thank you for doing this for us.
Stop! You know
Mom's the party planner.
I know, but still.
Carrie, you aren't still angry
with Ethan and me, are you?
Uh... Katie, you didn't
do anything wrong.
Good! Because I was so worried.
I mean, it just puts such
a cloud over everything.
Stop it. I really want
you to enjoy, okay?
None of this is your fault,
and I'm... I'm sorry
if I've been a
little crazy, I just...
I think I don't really
know Ethan that well.
Well, you better
get to know him.
He is going to be your brother.
True. Oh, speaking of...
Carrie, I would like to
introduce you to my best friend
and my best man.
Dylan. Dylan, this is
the official maid of honor
and the much-adored sister
of the bride, Carrie.
Carrie. Hi. Yeah.
- We've... we've met.
- You're kidding?
- No.
- Oh! Well, this is wonderful!
How do you guys know each other?
We're... we're working
on a deal together.
- Not quite together.
- Okay.
We are working on
a deal near one another.
You should watch out for his guy
because he's a tiger
in the boardroom.
[laughs] Hm...
- He's also a great guy.
- Really?
- Yeah. Saved my life.
- Oh, Ethan!
- Yeah. Uh-huh.
- You never told me this story.
We were taking a road trip,
we stopped at a gas station,
and I saved him from eating
a pimento cheese sandwich.
This guy smacked it
right out of my hands.
- Right out of his hands!
- Saved my life.
- I am, I'm a lifesaver.
- A great guy.
Okay, yeah. Yeah.
I wouldn't know any of
this awesome bro code stuff
because he was too busy rejecting my
offer and walking out of the room.
- It was a bad offer.
- It was?
- Oh, yeah.
- [Paul] Hey.
Okay. Oh, hi!
Hi. I'm Paul. I'm Carrie's date.
- Remember Paul?
- Hey, Paul.
Clearly I missed something.
Katie, do you wanna catch me up
to speed so I can choose a side?
I honestly have no idea.
Well, nothing a good, stiff drink
won't fix. I'm taking orders.
It's an open bar,
folks, don't be shy.
- [Katie] Carrie?
- Hm? Mm! Mm-hm.
Uh, vodka soda. Lime. Lime.
- [Paul] Katie?
- Oh, I will take more of the Pinot Noir, please.
Vodka soda with lime, Pinot.
I'm gonna go organic
triple IPA. Yeah.
Oh, no, I'm good.
I'm fine. Thanks.
Great. Well, you will get
nothing and you'll like it.
Katie, honey, come here.
I want Aunt Joanne
to meet Ethan.
- Oh, no, don't go! What...
- [indistinct]
[Carrie whispers]
- [Dylan chuckles]
- Small world, huh?
- Oh, it just keeps getting smaller.
- Mm-hm.
- Yeah.
- [laughs]
- [sighs] Nice house.
- Yeah.
Excuse me. I'm gonna...
Only move he's got,
walking out of the room.
It is going to cost a fortune
to ship all of this to Napa.
Oh, honey, don't worry.
I am going to take care of it.
You just need to handle
the "thank you" notes.
Carrie, sweetie, go write down a
serving dish from the Bledsoe family.
- Another one?
- Yes.
So many things!
We should have just asked
for donations to a charity.
- You have to set up house.
- Mom, seriously.
I do not want this
to get out of hand.
I just want a simple,
elegant, intimate wedding.
I don't need
all this hullaballoo.
Oh, yes. You just hate
getting all this attention
and all these presents. Mm!
We are two adults
and I own a restaurant.
Honestly, Carrie, what am I gonna
do with another serving dish?
You are going to write lovely thank
you notes, and that is that.
Ooh. Now you sound like
Grandmother Lucille.
I thought we weren't
going to talk about that.
Okay, fine. No. Never mind.
That Dylan fellow today,
he was very handsome.
Yeah. What was going
on between you two?
[Carrie] Um, nothing.
Nothing! We're kind of
working on a deal together.
- Let's just say it's intense.
- Mm...
This isn't going to
cause any problems, is it?
No, darling sister.
You'll still get your
- perfect wedding, don't worry.
- Okay, let's not start.
I will not start if Carrie
admits that Dylan is cute.
- I hate you.
- [Katie laughs]
- Okay, yes.
- Yes, what?
- Yes, he's cute.
- Ha! I knew it!
Yes, but unfortunately, when he
talks I want to punch him, so...
- Carrie!
- Well, then there won't be any hanky-panky
- amongst the wedding party.
- Mom!
Please, don't engage her.
It'll only get more graphic.
Okay, okay. [chuckles]
Oh! What in the world is this?
Oh! Aunt Joanne
is taking pottery classes.
You don't need to send
a thank you note for that.
[Christmas music plays]
[train whistle blows]
I like all that glitter.
- Carrie?
- [gasps] Hey.
- Hi. [laughs]
- Oh.
Um... Hello, Mr. Courtney.
Uh, Dylan, please. I think considering the
current attire, we can skip the formalities.
- Um...
- That's a great outfit.
Right, yeah, well, we've shut down for
the office Christmas party. So...
I see. It's, uh...
it's very festive.
- You... you are very festive.
- Yeah.
You're kind of coming on the back end.
We're about to wrap things up.
- They seem to be having a ball.
- Yeah. We are a family company.
You're fond of saying that.
So why are you here?
Did you not get my paperwork?
I had Zelda send it
over this morning.
Do the Rowlings
have some questions or...?
Oh, no, it's not
a business visit.
I'm actually here on
personal business. [laughs]
Uh, sorry, Ethan and I were... we
were discussing the bachelor party.
Oh, crap. Does... Oh, I'm supposed to
throw Katie a bachelorette party!
I'm, like, the worst
maid of honor ever.
Well, maybe, but I can help
you with that, I think.
What do you mean?
Well, we've got a cabin about
an hour north of Ethan's farm,
where I grew up, and Ethan and I
used to go there when we were kids.
He really likes the place.
So we were talking,
and he said he'd love to have the
bachelor and bachelorette party there.
- So it would save you planning.
- Well, that's... um, nice. Thank you.
And, of course,
Paul is more than welcome.
- Also very nice. Thank you.
- Sure.
- Miss Carrie! Miss Carrie!
- Oh!
- Can we have some candy, please?
- Yeah.
The most beautiful dresses ever!
One for you, one for you.
- Merry Christmas.
- [cheering]
So, you know, I'm... elves don't have
pockets, I don't have my phone.
Oh, no. I've got your email,
and we can take care of it.
Yeah, and we'll
talk about dates.
- Just get in touch.
- Great.
- I love your... your antlers.
- Okay, bye.
[laughs] Okay,
I'll... I'm sorry.
Oh, you know what? It's, uh...
- Here you go.
- Oh.
Make sure you don't
eat it all at once.
You'll get a stomachache.
Okay, bye.
- I am mortified.
- What?
What was Mr. Courtney
doing here?
- Uh...
- Being handsome?
Mom! He wants to talk
about wedding stuff.
- Hm.
- He was oddly nice.
I don't know what to do
with that information.
Well, people can
be surprising sometimes.
- Hm... Yes, they can.
- [man] Say cheese.
[jazzy Christmas music plays]
So, this weekend is the big
bachelorette cabin extravaganza?
Yes. It's very exciting. You know
how much I love the outdoors.
Well, but Paul's going, right?
Yeah. He's driving
up to meet me.
This one sounds promising.
I really... I think
he might be perfect.
I trust him and I feel like I can
make him understand all this.
There's a whole lot of
all this to understand.
Yeah. I, uh... invited him
to the house tonight.
Oh! Well, that sounds cozy.
Mm-hm! And between this
weekend, and, you know, tonight,
if things go the way
that I think they will,
I'll be able to, you know,
give him my proposal,
and my "proposal."
You are aware of how incredibly, insanely
Scooby Doo this all sounds, right?
Sorry, did the Scooby crew
ever fail to solve a case?
That comment was not
meant to encourage you.
I'm trying to be positive here.
Have you even talked to your
sister about what you're doing?
No. I don't want to
stress her out any more.
The wedding is
totally overwhelming.
I think, "Surprise! I'm married!"
Might stress her
out a little more.
You know, it's...
Katie just wants to have
her one, perfect day, and I
really want her to have it.
But the company means
everything to me,
so I'm gonna do whatever
I have to do to keep it.
I just think Katie might
be really hurt when she...
Don't you have some sort of
assistant-y thing to be doing,
like getting me coffee
or alphabetizing something?
Okay. Line drawn in the sand.
I'm hereby out
of your personal life.
No, no, no. I...
I didn't mean it like that.
You're right.
So, uh, anyway, I made your flight
reservations for this weekend.
There should be a confirmation
email in your inbox.
- Zelda.
- Yes, Ms. Tate?
Oh, come on. Really?
Just observing the protocol.
Okay. Have a good weekend.
Okay, love you too.
Are you sad I didn't
wanna go out tonight?
No, this is great.
Are you... are you cold?
- Are you?
- Mm.
Oh. Here.
I love this movie. It isn't
Christmas until I watch it.
Yeah, it's...
it's so romantic, isn't it?
I'm so happy you're
coming with me this weekend.
I can't miss an opportunity
to see you in hiking boots.
You know, Christmas movies
make me want to snuggle.
- Oh... okay.
- Oh! That's good.
Mm... hm...
Hey, are your eyes
blue or green?
My eyes are brown.
Clearly, they don't pay you to be observant
over at that national conglomerate.
Really? Let me see.
- Are you mesmerized?
- Totally.
[man speaks on TV]
Oh. Check this out.
I read online the other day
that they trucked in 5000 pounds
of actual snow for this scene.
- [talking continues on TV]
- Hm... neat.
[Paul laughs]
Every time.
I come bearing a sister!
- Oh! Hello, sister!
- [laughter]
Oh, my goodness! Have you two
been in the schnapps already?
Gingerbread liqueur!
Hi! I'm Abby.
Oh. Uh, yeah, we met at Katie's
restaurant opening, right?
- You're the pastry chef.
- Yes. Guilty!
- I'm Ashley.
- Ashley is an artist.
I have several of her mixed
media pieces in the restaurant.
Oh. I'm surrounded
by creative types.
[laughter] - None of
Ethan's guys are here yet.
- Are we expecting any hotties?
- Um, I hate that word,
but yes, Ethan has invited
some very handsome friends.
- Yes!
- With personalities like sandpaper.
[laughs] Well, I think
it's brilliant how you're having
the bachelor and bachelorette
parties together.
Well, Ethan and I aren't into
all that last hurrah nonsense.
She wouldn't even
let me hire a stripper.
Both: Oh!
There are moments when your being
uptight makes me love you a lot.
- Hm. Carrie, I'm going to have to ask you
- Hm?
To try really hard to get
along with Dylan this weekend.
- That's the best man, right?
- Mm-hm.
Is it, really? Yeah, I find
that laced with so much irony.
- Carrie!
- Yes!
He is the bestest best man ever.
- He's amazing!
- I'm bored. Let's do a shot.
- Okay!
- Go.
What in the...
How are you even
friends with these people?
You... you'll love them.
[Abby] Morning mimosas!
Oh, Abby, I have some thoughts
about the cake design.
- Oh, what about a Buche de Noel?
- Ooh!
Wait. Isn't that, like,
a giant cake roll log thing?
Yes! And I could put little
woodland creatures on top.
That sounds earthy like Ethan.
Maybe for the groom's cake?
As long as it has chocolate,
I'm set, babe.
Oh. It's chocolate.
Chocolate-flavored love.
What if we have a menagerie
of woodland creatures
representing our families?
A buck and doe for my parents?
- That does sound very dear.
- Oh...
Oh, my God, you're marrying Dad.
A buck and a doe. Yeah,
I think I could manage that.
Well, I definitely want it
festooned with Christmas foliage
like poinsettias,
or holly, or mistletoe.
- Heads up!
- Mistletoe!
- Oh!
- Ooh!
Come on, get in the
holiday spirit, dude.
- I'm gonna get some coffee.
- [all] Aw!
Well, I am definitely not
gonna let this go to waste.
- [all shouting]
- Bow-chicka-bow-bow!
Oh... okay. [sighs]
Oh! I'm sorry. I didn't...
I didn't know anybody
was out here.
Oh, no, it's okay. I just
can't get a signal anywhere.
Well, you probably won't. That's one
of the reasons why I love this place.
Right. Yeah. I was, um...
I'm just trying
to check on Paul.
Oh, I'm sorry. Do your thing.
Oh, um... listen.
Thanks for putting
all this together.
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
It's no problem.
I mean, I know you're
going through a lot
with your grandmother's
will and everything.
Ethan kind of filled me in.
- He did?
- Mm-hm.
He must have had
a lot of questions.
- Naturally, he had a few.
- [laughs]
It must be nice to have a corporate
lawyer as a best bud, right?
- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.
- Oh, I'm not upset.
I'm just really frustrated
that I can't get any reception.
You'd think a global communications
company would find a place
to nail a satellite to a pine
tree out here or something.
- It's ridiculous.
- I keep feeling like we're
just getting off
on the wrong foot.
Do you have a landline?
Uh... no.
No, I don't, but, uh...
I can drive you into town.
Oh. Um... okay. Thanks.
- Okay. Sorry.
- It's fine.
[laughs] After you, really.
- [laughs]
- Just pull. Right here.
You need to... There you go.
I have arrived!
Just in time for
lunch and debauchery.
- Looks like he made it. Hey!
- Hey.
- Great.
- Oh! I was worried!
Mm. [whistles]
- Oh, hey.
- Hey.
- Is everyone back from the hike?
- Yeah, I'm just, uh,
- I'm just grabbing beers for everybody.
- Nice.
- Yeah.
- Oh, I'm sorry. I've made such a mess in here.
- I'll clean it up.
- No, I didn't, uh... I didn't know you cooked.
Oh, I don't cook. I bake.
There's a big difference.
- Where's Paul?
- Um, I sent him into town to get more sprinkles.
Oh. He's a, uh, he's
a nice guy. I like him.
- Yeah. He's an old friend.
- [oven timer buzzes]
Oh. Can you... Do you mind
just grabbing that batch?
Yeah. Sure. Gotcha.
- Oh, man.
- Hm?
- Oh!
- Mm-hm!
- These smell incredible.
- It's an old family recipe.
Mm-hm. [clears throat]
Look, I'm, uh...
I'm sorry about earlier.
- About what?
- Well, you know, about Ethan.
- I didn't really...
- Oh, no, no! We don't... please.
Let's not talk about it. Here.
- Oh!
- Mm-hm.
- Oh, man.
- Mm-hm?
- You're giving me flashbacks.
- Mm!
- The good kind or the bad kind?
- These are amazing.
We, um, we spent Christmas
up here every year
- when I was a kid.
- Oh, yeah? Why'd you stop?
After my grandpa passed away, we
just didn't do it as much anymore.
- Oh.
- You know how it is.
- Ow!
- Oh! Hold on.
- Water, water.
- Stupid! It's still hot.
Need somebody to help.
- I was not...
- [softly] There you go.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
- That's better, thank you.
- Yeah.
Well, they had red
and green and yellow,
and I got seriously Christmas and I got some
of those little silver ball things too.
- I sustained an injury.
- Yeah. Well, you're back.
So you can... you can take over.
I'm gonna grab these guys,
and I'm gonna grab this.
- Oh, yeah!
- See you later.
- [Carrie chuckles]
- What'd you do?
[Carrie] I was so stupid. I...
Don't touch a hot pan.
- Ooh! You weren't kidding.
- Yeah.
- I can take care of that.
- Yeah?
[Christmas music plays]
- Mom, there's so many gifts!
- No, I don't care whether she likes it or not.
- This one is for Aunt Joanne.
- [both laugh]
So tell me, do you
think that your father
is going to like
the fedora I bought him?
Um, that depends. Is it 1940 and is
he planning to investigate crime?
- He's just so hard to buy for.
- No, it's cute.
So Connie Taylor tells me that you and
Paul have been seeing each other.
Uh, wow. I had
no idea that the, um,
country club set had such an
extensive intelligence network.
Yeah. Well, it does. So how
long has this been going on?
Uh, you remember, I asked you
for Paul's mother's number.
- Oh.
- No. For Dad? Mom.
Aren't they cute? Look,
I got two of them for Ethan too.
- So is it serious?
- I... hope so.
Have you and Katie figured out what's
gonna happen after the wedding?
Mom, what is this,
an interrogation? It's...
I just don't want you to
be surprised if Katie and Ethan
decide to assert
their ownership.
- Um, why, did she say something to you?
- No, not at all.
But you and your sister
have a habit of...
not communicating and making assumptions.
Remember the prom dress fiasco?
- She bought the same dress as me.
- See? You didn't communicate.
It doesn't... Look, this is
a little bit different. Okay?
No. The stakes are just higher.
Please talk to your sister.
Fine! I will!
- Isn't this hilarious?
- [bell jingles]
- I'm sorry, did you say hideous?
- Oh, hush. Ethan's gonna love it.
- Terrifying.
- Oh, stop.
- Terrifying.
- Cute! It's very cute.
It's cute? It looks like Chucky!
You say that like
it's a bad thing.
[Carrie] You're
a crazy woman. I'm done.
- You look breathtaking.
- Oh, thank you. It's just perfect.
I can't imagine
a more beautiful dress.
- A December bride!
- [gasps] Oh!
You know, we don't sell a lot
of dresses by this designer.
- She is very unique.
- Mm...
I guarantee you will not see
another bride in this dress.
- Isn't she beautiful?
- Mm-hm.
All brides are beautiful!
This is going to be
challenging in terms of a veil.
Do you have feelings
about a veil?
Maybe flowers. Maid of honor?
What do you think about
a garland of flowers?
Oh, gardenias! -[gasps] What about a
white silk poinsettia, just right here?
Oh, I'm... I'm sorry.
I really, I have no
opinion on this.
Darlene, didn't we just
get in one of those
beaded silk turbans?
- Turban?
- Oh, that would be intriguing.
Help me get it from the stockroom and
we'll see what else is back there.
- Wow!
- Do you like it?
Mm! [chuckles] Oh, hon!
- Come here. You're so cute.
- No.
Hold on. Let's see...
Hm. Come here, you.
- Hm?
- Don't look. Come here.
- Mm-hm.
- It's okay.
I'll be gentle. [gasps] Look!
- Oh! It's pretty. Hm...
- See? I can play.
You know, Ethan said that Dylan
has been asking about you.
Really? What was
he asking about?
I don't know.
But Dylan is very handsome
- and successful and tall.
- With occasional bouts of obnoxiousness.
- Carrie, he's nice.
- Yeah, he was... he was nice at the cabin.
Wow. You are so
stubborn about people.
You know what?
Let's look at some veils.
- Huh?
- [sighs]
- Carrie...
- Hm?
I want to talk
about the company.
Is Mom bugging you too
about communicating?
- Let's just...
- No, but since Ethan and I
are going to own the company
after the wedding...
Did Ethan ask you to talk to me?
Well, there isn't any reason
he shouldn't show an interest.
Right. Yeah, sweet Dylan said
he was asking some questions.
Ethan thinks that we could start an
organic food distribution division.
[chuckles] You're
already making plans?
Well, we just started to realize that if we
are going to put our names on something...
Ethan's name won't be on it,
Katie. It's Emerson Foods.
I understand that,
but whether you like it or not,
we are going to be owners.
Katie, you have never
in your entire life
expressed any
interest in the company.
Carrie, don't be mad. Okay?
We were just talking to Dylan about the
transfer and then all these ideas...
Wait. You're talking
to Dylan about the company
that I've been building, the company
that I have every right to, Katie,
and you expect me not
to be mad right now?
Carrie, you're acting like a spoiled
child about this whole thing.
Oh, my... You are so
self-righteous, Katie.
- Seriously.
- Oh...
And you know what?
You're not married yet.
Okay? When and if you and
Ethan make it to the altar
in your Stevie Nicks
lace-explosion, when that happens,
please, you two can waltz
into the lobby of Emerson Foods
and declare yourself the king and
queen of organic canned bunnies.
Okay? But until that happens,
I'm gonna continue on the path
that I've been on
for the last seven years, Katie,
while you've been off cooking
fiddle ferns for snotty food jerks.
You said you liked my dress.
God, it's not
about the dress, Katie!
No! It is about you
being selfish
and stubborn and single-minded!
You know what? I wouldn't
make any plans if I were you.
It's amazing how quickly
things can change.
What are you talking about?
Carrie, what are
you talking about?!
Hello, this is Zelda. Beep!
Just kidding, here it is.
Yeah, Zelda, hey, it's me.
Can you do me a favor
and make me a reservation for
two at 8 p.m. tonight at Wilde?
And I also need you to have the company
jet ready at 10:30 to take me to Vegas.
Um, also I need you to book
a room at the Bellagio,
the penthouse if they have it, and just
make sure that you pack me a suitcase
of a few things, have it ready
and waiting on the plane.
And pack the white suit.
And Zelda, do not call me
and ask me a million
questions about why.
We wish you
a merry Christmas
We wish you a
merry Christmas
We wish you
a merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
We wish you
a merry Christmas
We wish you a
merry Christmas
[sighs] This is so fun.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- It's a great restaurant.
- Yeah.
Oh, my parents know the owners.
And we're actually having
Katie's rehearsal dinner here.
- Oh. Okay.
- But no, I...
I meant this, us,
it's... it's fun.
- It is.
- Yeah. [laughs]
I'm not good at subtle, am I?
No, you aren't, but sometimes it's
very entertaining to watch you try.
I'm not the most romantic
person in the world, Paul.
Practical has its place.
You make me sound like Katie.
- That's not a bad thing, is it?
- [laughs] No!
- Are you okay?
- Mm-hm... [laughs]
Um... okay.
- Paulie...
- Hm?
So... I have a jet
waiting to take us to Vegas,
and I booked a suite
at the Bellagio.
- Carrie...
- And I... Will you marry me?
Tonight? I know it sounds crazy.
But I... we would
shock everyone!
- I can't.
- Paul, I know that you're not madly in love with me
- or anything, but it's okay.
- Carrie. Carrie.
- I'm gay.
- [laughs]
- Come on!
- Ta-da!
What are you talking about?
That's not funny.
- Hm?
- Mm.
- You're serious?
- I am.
[gasps] Oh, my gosh!
Hm... wow. This was
the worst plan ever.
- [laughs]
- I'm sorry.
You know what?
I don't even care.
- Well, I kind of do.
- Listen.
You know that I need this
to get around the will,
or else Katie and Ethan are
gonna take everything from me.
No, that... that
doesn't sound like Katie.
Look, it's simple.
We just, we'd get married,
you sign over the company to me,
and we can go our separate ways.
Please, please, Paul, please,
can you just think about it?
Carrie, listen. I love you.
Great. Then do this for me.
This one thing. Please?
I do want to get
married someday, but...
but for real and... to a guy.
Okay. Then she wins. Cheers.
You make it sound like
it's a football game.
Was that a sports reference
from the gay guy?
It's kind of ironic,
don't you think?
You know, uh, I don't think
I want dessert after all.
- Oh, Paul.
- Can I call you a cab?
Hm... No, I'm fine.
Good night, Carrie.
Okay, we have one
German chocolate cake...
Oh, lovely! Thanks.
Um... You know what?
Can you just take those to the bar?
I'm gonna have them both.
You know what?
[line ringing]
[phone rings]
- Hello? Hello?
- Oh, yeah, hi. It's... it's me.
- Carrie, is that you?
- Um, who do you think you are
cahooting with my sister
and the financy...
her fee... sinini?
- Okay.
- Mm-hm, it's me. Um...
- Try that one more time.
- Her feenan... her fyance.
The boy, that boy. Hm?
- Carrie, are you okay?
- Mm...
I thought you were being nice,
and you were just being a spy.
- Do you know that? You're a spy.
- Wait. It's...
- Uh-huh. So rude.
- Okay, Carrie, just calm down.
Calm down. Where...
Tell me where you are.
- Don't change the subject.
- It's okay, just tell me where...
Where are you?
I'm, um... I'm at the...
I'm at the, um...
I'm at the place
with the guy, with the...
- Just can you... I can't.
- Carrie? Hello?
- Just hang up.
- I'm Todd.
- I think I have Carrie's phone?
- Oh. Hi, Todd.
- Do not be nice to him.
- Where are you?
We're at the bar at Wilde.
Bar at Wilde.
Okay, great. Thanks.
Can you give the phone
back to Carrie, please?
- Sure.
- I don't wanna... please.
- Hm?
- You there? Carrie?
- What?
- Look, I'm gonna leave right now.
Okay? I'll be there
in about 30 minutes.
- Don't go anywhere.
- Okay, Mr. Bossy.
- So lovely.
- I...
Can I have another one
of those, please?
You're very nice.
I promise I'll leave soon.
[Carrie groaning]
- Carrie?
- Hm!
- Hm? Mm...
- Carrie?
- [gasps]
- Hi.
- Hi! [laughs]
- Hi.
- You found me!
- I did.
- Hi!
- Hi. Okay. Come here.
- Hm? Shush!
- Hm? Okay.
Don't make it weird by being
all question-y. I'm here.
- Okay. Let's go home.
- God! Right.
- Let's do that. Oh!
- Are you okay?
- I'm good. Sorry.
- All right. Here you go.
- Let's do this. One on top.
- Yeah.
- Whoa!
- You know, I used to hate you.
Well, I'm glad your
opinion has changed.
Mm-hm. You were like,
"I'm Dylan Courtney."
And then Rowling Vineyards
is all about people who care
"and you're just a big,
corporate, mean fish."
I don't quite think
I said it like that.
- Yeah. Where's my phone?
- I...
- Sir? I have to call my Zelda.
- Let's go.
- Okay.
- Time to go. Whoa!
- Okay. Sh! Come here.
- Hey! What?
- Come here. Come here.
- Uh... okay.
I wanna tell you something.
Come here, come close.
- Okay.
- I actually expect you...
Respect you professionally,
- despite the disagreements.
- Okay.
Mm-hm. And you look
really pretty in plaid.
- Thank you.
- It's nice on you.
- I think you're a little drunk.
- No!
- No, a little bit. Let's go.
- Okay. All right.
- Okay.
- [gasps] We should...
We should get married.
Would you marry me?
We could thwart her evil plan.
- [laughs]
- I do, I have the jet
and the suit and it's white and
it's beautiful and it's bride-y...
- Okay.
- Where's my phone? I need to call Zelda.
- A jet and...
- Sir, did you take my phone?
Come on, let's... we'll go get
on the bride-y, white plane.
- Yes. I'm good. Good night, sir.
- Good night.
- Put you in your white suit...
- Wait, gotta go.
- There you go. We can go.
- Did you say goodbye?
- There we go. Good night.
- The bouncer lady. Thank you.
- Whoa!
- I'm fine.
- You're good.
- I'm good.
[Carrie exhales loudly]
- We're in my house! [gasps]
- Yes, we are.
How did we get here?
Did we get here by magic?
- Did we get here by Santa?
- No. We got here by my car.
Oh! Vroom, vroom!
You're a lot more animated
with four martinis in you.
I'm like some
kind of party animal!
Oh, boy. Pajamas.
Where are your pajamas?
- Over there. Right... mm-hm.
- This...
- Alrighty.
- Ow! Yes.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- You have to unzip me.
- Okay.
Back there. It's right there.
Oh, it's over there.
- It's on the side.
- It's on the side. I told you where it was.
There you go.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome. I'm just gonna...
- Hm?
- Okay.
Oh, my gosh! It's
like they're alive!
- You okay?
- Mm-hm.
- I got it. I'm good.
- You need help?
I don't need any help. I'm good.
- Does this mean you need help?
- [laughs]
Do you like my slip?
My grandma always said to
wear proper undergarments.
She was a smart lady. Arms.
One at a time. There you go.
Okay. You're very nice when
you're not being a butthead.
Thanks... I think.
- Can I do something to you?
- What do you wanna do?
Mm... I was thinking that...
Okay. Come here.
Come on. Uh!
[Carrie moans]
Good night, Carrie.
I need you to return this.
And I need to die.
Cheese and crackers!
What happened to you?
Please, inside voices. Okay?
I can't return the suit,
you had it altered.
Thank you. Zelda,
please tell me you have
some miracle cure in your desk that'll
help me forget that I have a head.
- I have a breath mint.
- No.
Have you seen my phone?
- I take it you're not a missus?
- No.
If I didn't feel so miserable, I might
have time to be super embarrassed.
- Oh... he said no?
- No, he said gay.
- And you didn't know this?
- No, I didn't know this.
What are you gonna do?
There's not enough time to find
anyone else unless I'm willing
to make truly
desperate choices, so...
And you don't consider your last
plan a little desperate?
- [sighs] Well...
- Sorry.
Katie and Ethan are gonna take
over, and it's all for nothing.
Everything I did.
Carrie, have you considered even for a
second, you don't own the company now?
It doesn't have
to change anything.
You're right. It doesn't
have to change anything.
That's the point.
Nothing ever changes, Zelda.
I just... I... I thought that
one day, I would own all this,
and I won't have to answer
to anyone else.
- Your sister's not gonna...
- I'm just gonna go to work.
Hey, hi. I have Dylan
Courtney here to see you.
- Says he has your phone.
- What?
Has to give it to you
in person. He's here.
- Oh. Hi. Hm...
- Hi.
- Thank you.
- Welcome.
I do indeed have your phone.
Thank you for bringing it back.
Yeah, sure. I figured, you know,
you'd be lost without
it, so... there you go.
Where did you find it?
You don't remember?
- You don't remember.
- I'm confused.
Do you remember anything
about last night?
- I'm confused.
- I brought you home.
- I took a cab.
- No, I brought you home.
- I woke up in my pajamas.
- You did. That was, uh...
That was entertaining.
- Excuse me?
- No, I mean, I...
Look, I was just
trying to help you.
- By getting me undressed?
- No, you got yourself undre...
Okay, hold on. Look,
you got yourself undressed.
Okay? Look, you called me,
you were drunk,
you were at the bar,
I came, I picked you up
before you made a total idiot out of
yourself. You don't remember this?
Oh, don't act so superior.
Okay? I don't even know you.
- I'm not...
- [Carrie sighs]
Okay, look, I just wanted to help you
out by bringing your phone back.
I figured you need it,
and that was all.
- Okay. Thanks.
- Wow. Okay. Uh...
You know, you're a lot
nicer when you're drunk.
You're a lot nicer when
your lips aren't moving.
You're welcome.
- [sobbing]
- All right, here I come. Okay.
It's all right. Okay.
I got two kinds of tissues:
the box and the
rectangle. You choose.
[sobbing] Why didn't
you try to stop me?
I'm pretty sure I tried to stop
you real hard, several times.
[sniffles] My sister hates me,
Dylan hates me,
I'm not gonna get the company,
- Paul probably hates me.
- Your sister doesn't hate you.
I've been so awful
to her, Zelda. How am...
How am I supposed to go
to that rehearsal dinner?
Maybe with a little less snot?
Zelda, please, please don't tell my dad
about the whole Vegas wedding thing.
He would be so
disappointed, please.
My lips are sealed.
Do you know that
I drunk-dialed Dylan last night
and asked him to take me home?
He put me in my pajamas.
I may or may not have overheard
that part of your conversation.
They weren't even cute pajamas!
- Carrie, breathe.
- [exhales]
This isn't fair.
I've been working so hard...
In through your nose. [exhales]
[sobbing] Okay. Get it together.
Get it together.
I need to get it together.
- Okay. Get it together.
- You got it.
[inhales, exhales] I...
Oh, my God!
- I can't get it together.
- Okay.
I can't get it together!
I can't breathe!
- Here I come.
- My heart hurts!
It's okay, it's okay. Carrie, Carrie.
Carrie, look at me.
Look at me. Look
at me, right here. Okay?
- Yeah?
- Carrie Tate does not
- back down from a challenge. Okay?
- Okay.
Carrie Tate is in control
and always on top.
- Okay.
- Okay? She's a problem solver. Right?
You're gonna get yourself up, you're
gonna get to that rehearsal dinner.
I go wandering after dark
Missing my old counterpart
The carols that I'm singing Miss
the thrill that you were bringing
When the two of us
walk through the snow
I miss those days
like a mistletoe
It's hard to be merry
when you feel so low
[music fades]
Oh, my God! That was so awkward!
What was going on with you and
Katie at the wedding rehearsal?
- Are you guys in a fight?
- Sh! I don't really feel like
talking about this right now.
Um, well, I feel like you owe us
an explanation.
Um, why exactly
would I owe you that?
- Because we're Team Wedding!
- Team Wedding!
I... I'm not
following your logic.
I am also sensing some sexual tension
between you and the best man.
Which is obviously scandalous,
considering you have a boyfriend,
but I'm gonna fully
encourage it anyway.
- Had a boyfriend.
- Aw!
Yeah, I'm not surprised.
I think he might be gay.
- Oh, totally gay.
- Yeah.
- Really? I...
- [both] Mm-hm.
Why... Okay. I'm not quite sure why
I'm talking to you two about this.
- I'm just gonna...
- Did you really tell Katie her dress makes her look
- like Stevie Nicks?
- Okay.
Um, Stevie Nicks is a very well respected
recording artist and style icon.
- That was really mean.
- That's meaner than when Katie
told me my croissants tasted
like mushrooms and confusion.
Yeah, you're right.
I'll apologize.
- Oh, my God!
- What?
Okay, so Dylan
is right behind you.
- I... okay...
- Unbridle your sexual tension and go!
- You, go!
- [both] Oh!
- I'm so...
- I'm sorry.
- I tripped. No, no, it's...
- No, it's... no worries.
You look lovely.
Oh. Thank you. So do you.
- Thank you. Uh...
- [chuckles]
Look, I want to apologize if you feel like
I crossed some sort of line last night.
- I didn't...
- No, it's, um... You were trying to help.
Yeah, I was.
I was trying to help.
I know.
Uh, would you like
to go sit down?
Uh, I'll be there in a minute.
Okay. I'll see you in a minute.
- Carrie, darling.
- Yes?
They're serving the salads.
Come sit down.
[fork dings on glass]
I actually have
a couple of things to say.
Um, no it's not
the Tijuana trip.
I'll save that for tomorrow
for that speech.
Um, Ethan, Katie,
I just wanted to tell you
how much I admire your bravery.
And I know that it
takes a lot of bravery
to open yourself up, and to let your
guard down, and to promise forever.
And the fact you two love
each other so completely
that you are willing to walk
down that road together...
That's amazing.
And I gotta tell you,
I'm actually a little envious
of, uh, of that kind of love.
But... most of all,
it makes me happy.
It makes me happy to think
that it exists,
and it makes me happy that I'm going
to experience it in your orbit.
And it makes me happy to
think that maybe one day,
if I'm lucky enough, a little
bit of that will rub off on me.
Anyway, cheers to both of you.
- I love you.
- Cheers.
- Cheers, buddy.
- Cheers.
[all] Cheers.
Sorry. Just... can I talk
to you for one second?
I am so, so sorry. I have been
an idiot this whole time.
I do not want to fight.
Okay, what is going on?
You... you have no idea what
a mess of everything I made.
No, Carrie, it is a beautiful night and
tomorrow will only be more perfect.
No, no, Katie,
you don't understand.
- I am trying.
- Katie...
I asked Paul to marry me.
But Paul is gay.
Am I the only person in the
world that didn't know that?
Well, I don't understand. I thought
you two were just friends.
Yeah. I was...
I thought that if I got married
first, I wouldn't lose Emerson Foods.
- What are you talking about?
- I literally thought that if I could get Paul
to marry me...
I could keep you and Ethan
from getting the company.
[laughs] Oh, that's so pathetic.
- Thanks so much.
- Oh...
Even you have to admit that is
high on the pathetic scale.
And I have been
so awful to Dylan.
Yeah, Ethan told me about that.
Did he tell you everything?
He said you told Dylan
he looked sexy in plaid.
- I said what?! See? I...
- Okay.
I don't think we can allow you talk
to anyone you are not related to.
And I think I actually
like him. I think...
I think I sexy-plaid-like him.
Carrie, you're one of those
people that is so smart...
- and you're stupid.
- Thanks a lot.
Okay. Look, Carrie,
this isn't worth it. Okay?
- Ethan and I will step away completely.
- No, no, no!
That's... see, that's...
not what I want.
Then why are you doing this?
Okay, what is it that you want?
- I don't know.
- Oh, Carrie, look.
I love you.
And I know that
this is a lot for you,
but I cannot spend my
rehearsal dinner in a hallway
next to the restroom.
Are you coming?
- Yes, yes, in a minute.
- Okay.
[line ringing]
- [man] Hello?
- Hi, it's Carrie.
No, everything's fine.
Um, do you have a minute?
Wow, Katie.
- You look amazing.
- Just call me Stevie.
No, no...
That was... that was
Scrooge Carrie, okay? I'm...
Now I'm Tiny Tim.
God bless us, everyone!
I feel like I am gonna
throw up. Why am I so nervous?
- Why? Because this is huge, honey.
- Mm-hm.
Carrie, if I faint,
will you create a diversion?
You... you're not gonna faint.
But yes, you can count on me.
Here. Look, I'll distract you.
I have something for you.
What is this?
This is a letter of resignation.
Yep. Um, it has nothing
to do with you and Ethan.
Here. It has a little
to do with you and Ethan.
Oh, Carrie, Ethan feels awful
that for even a second,
you would think he
would want to hurt you.
No. He shouldn't. I haven't
even given the guy a chance.
He just got so excited
about the possibilities.
He has some really
great ideas, Katie.
Carrie, truly we both think
that the company
should go to you.
And that means so much to me, but
it doesn't change my decision.
- Okay?
- I don't understand.
I thought Emerson Foods
was everything to you.
I'm ready for my own adventures.
I don't know what to say.
Well, um, say that you
accept my resignation,
and you're prepared to offer me
a very lucrative exit package.
- Of course.
- [Carrie chuckles]
- I love you.
- I love you!
This is a big day! What are... Stop!
Let's get you perfect, Stevie.
- Oh... Mm-mm!
- Don't! Don't!
- Don't touch your face!
- Okay. Is this too much?
- No. It's beautiful.
- Thanks.
Oh, Mark! Look at our girls.
- [Carrie chuckles]
- Are you guys ready?
To be honest, I've been dreading
this since the day you were born.
- Dad!
- Dad!
It's not easy
giving away your baby.
- You're gonna make me cry!
- I love you, Daddy.
- I love you too.
- This is so precious!
Okay. Okay, we all need to come
together, take a cleansing breath.
- Oh, my!
- Seriously?
- Come on, it's her day.
- [exhales]
I love you all so much.
I couldn't ask for
a more glorious day,
- or a more perfect family.
- Oh, Katie.
Dad, seriously, I love them both,
but you have to make them stop.
Ladies, we have a
wedding to get to, right?
Okay, all right, so just,
I got the hair, got the makeup.
- I just... [babbling]
- Yes, go.
- Come on.
- Get it together, woman.
[Carrie sighs]
Oh, my goodness!
- [exhales]
- All right, lady.
Here we go. Time to
start the rest of my life.
Ah! Yeah. I know what you mean.
- Okay. I'll see you out there.
- Okay.
[slow instrumental
music playing]
[slow instrumental
music continuing]
[slow instrumental
music continuing]
[slow jazz music playing]
Bridesmaids are
supposed to be hideous.
You are not playing
by the rules, my dear.
I have a reputation
for being difficult.
But all the same, I couldn't leave
you without a date to the ball.
Paul, I'm so sorry.
I wasn't good to you...
Nope. Not another word.
I don't accept
apologies at weddings.
- I dance.
- No.
- Oh, yes.
- Oh, no!
- Oh, yes.
- Okay.
- Oh, right now? Come on!
- Come.
Yeah, look at that.
[soft jazz plays]
[Carrie] Oh...
- May I cut in?
- Yeah.
If you need me, I'll be standing
over there next to the cake log.
- Hi.
- Hi.
So I've gotta finalize
the contracts on Monday,
but I'd like to congratulate the
new CEO of Rowling Vineyards.
Thank you. [chuckles]
I gotta admit, I was pretty
surprised that you called me.
Yeah, I surprised myself.
Well, they're lucky to have you.
Well, they're a great
company. You know?
- They just need a little help.
- Yeah.
Hey, is Paul gonna
be upset about this?
Yeah, um, Paul and I
are just friends.
- Really?
- Really. [chuckles]
- Yeah. Look, I'm sorry.
- For what?
Really? I don't know, maybe because
I've spent the last couple of weeks
acting like you came from
the sewer or something.
Yeah, well, you know, we didn't
get off on the right foot.
No. I'm not usually
like that. It's...
- You're passionate.
- Oh!
- You're... you're nice.
- I am. I'm a very nice guy.
- Mm-hm.
- And, uh...
I like you.
I like you a lot.
I like you too.
Oh, damn it. [laughs]
- Can I tell you a secret?
- What?
You make... the best
Christmas cookies
- I have ever tasted. Next to my grandmother.
- Yeah? Okay.
- You're in a close second.
- Ready? Ready?
- Okay, it's almond extract...
- I think I know this.
- And lemon. No, you did not!
- Lemon. I knew it.
- No, you did not!
- I knew it was lemon extract!
- Now I have to kill you.
- You have to... well...
[Carrie laughs] Okay,
I'm gonna give you a compliment.
- Don't pass out. I know.
- What?
- Um... so your speech...
- Yeah?
At the rehearsal dinner...
- it really got me.
- Which part?
- The whole thing.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Well, you know, I, uh...
I lettered in speech
in high school.
- Oh.
- I did.
- Makes sense then.
- I got beat up a lot.
But I am very sexy in plaid.
- I love plaid.
- I know.
- Merry Christmas.
- Happy New Year.
Happy New Year.
Okay. [laughs] Oh!
- And the man can dance.
- Hm...
[soft jazz plays]