Marry My Dead Body (2022) Movie Script

[dog howling, barking in distance]
PAY RESPEC[eerie music]
- [thunder roars]
- [yelps, sighs]
God Almighty...
["Come With Me"
by Kay Liu ft. Austin Lin playing]
Wow, wow, wow, wow!
Wow, wow, wow, wow!
[men grunting]
[man panting]
- [water running]
- [indistinct chatter]
Come with me, come with me
Ta-ta-da, ta-da-ta-ta
Come with me, come with me
Ta-ta-da, ta-da-ta
Come with me, come with me
- [Ming-han] Police.
- [music disrupts]
Show me your ID.
[man] Huh?
Hurry up! Don't stall! Get your ID!
[rhythmic music playing in background]
Get back.
We got a tip-off about a drug deal here.
- We need to search you.
- [sniffs]
- You don't have a probable cause...
- [phone beeps] you can't just come
and touch my stuff, okay?
- Ming-han, he's got a point.
- [man] Am I right?
I'm not stupid, you know.
Ah! So what's this?
[Ming-han] You cutting drugs with this?
See the white stuff?
Uh... what white stuff?
Yeah, right. Step aside, yeah?
I already told you,
you don't have a warrant.
- Don't touch me. Don't you do it!
- Get the hell away from me, asshole!
My dad's important!
- [Ming-han grunts]
- [man groans]
[man groaning]
[man] That hurt!
- Police brutality! Police brutality!
- So go search this asshole's stuff!
- [Ming-han] Move it!
- [whimpers]
- [Chubby] Okay.
- [grunts]
[Chubby] Ming-han, I can't find anything!
Ugh, you just started!
- [Ming-han] Keep looking!
- [groans]
Do you know who I am?
I'll have you your ass for this!
[man] Just wait till my dad finds out!
- Fucking cop!
- Ming-han, there's nothing here!
Look at every pocket and crease!
Look harder!
[Chubby] I'm looking, I'm looking,
but there's nothing here!
[man groaning]
[Chubby gasps]
I found it, Ming-han!
- [Chubby] You were right!
- [man pants]
Like I said...
you people disgust me.
What do you mean...
"you people"?
Entitled little rich boys.
- [man 1] Is he okay?
- [man 2] What's going on?
[Ming-han] What are you looking at?
It's a police matter.
[Ming-han whistling]
- [Ming-han] Morning.
- [female officer] Morning.
[Ming-han] Morning.
[indistinct chatter]
[Chubby sighs]
- [mischievous chuckle]
- [Chubby gasps]
[soft gasp]
Where did you get that?
[Ming-han] From the place in the alley.
Hey, Ming-han,
let me try a little bit, huh?
Not a chance.
[mischievous laugh]
- [soft chuckle]
- [soft music]
[Ming-han] She's so adorable.
- Heh?
- [music disrupts]
[Ming-han] Officer Lin, have a seat.
[yelps, groans]
Ugh, that hurts!
- I'm surprised.
- [groans]
In this day and age,
someone is still homophobic.
That kind of attitude tarnishes our image.
It's embarrassing.
I was on a stakeout all day.
What were you doing?
[applause in flashback]
[Ming-han] See, I'm surprised,
in this day and age...
that you're still just... decoration. Hmm.
[Ming-han] Huh.
Bleh, bleh, bleh!
- [grunts, groaning]
- This decoration
- can still kick your ass.
- [Ming-han] Tell me I'm wrong.
You get commendation
for sticking corsages on ranking officers.
- [grunts angrily] I will fuck you up!
- And menstrual leave every month!
- [Yung-kang] Wu Ming-han.
- [Ming-han grunts]
- Hello, Captain.
- Captain.
The Office of Ethics sees your case.
You're accused
of excessive force and discrimination.
We'll know more in a few days.
That whiny little faggot!
- Oh, uh, Ming-han, I think that's...
- All right, all right.
I saw what you did. There's video footage.
Oh, come on, Captain.
[Ming-han sighs]
He's a junkie!
All you think about is yourself.
Yeah, you always think about yourself.
[Ming-han] Ugh, or should I be thinking
about you instead?
I doubt there will be any punishment.
[officer] Hey, someone's run a checkpoint.
Driver has priors,
possibly drugs in the vehicle.
- Requesting backup.
- Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Hey!
- [Ming-han] Move!
- [sighs] They never wait for me.
[action music]
[tires screeching]
[sirens wailing]
[tires screeching]
Fuck you.
Watch this.
- [grunts]
- [tires screeching]
[car honks]
[maniacal laughter]
I smoked your ass!
- [sirens wailing]
- [engine revving]
- [Tzu-ching grunts]
- [scoffs]
[action music continues]
[tires screeching]
[tires screeching]
[tires screeching]
[indistinct chatter over police radio]
[tires screeching]
[indistinct chatter over police radio]
[siren wailing]
[suspenseful music]
Where are you going?
[man 1] What the hell are you doing?
- Do you know how to drive?
- [man 2] You came out of nowhere!
[man 1 grumbling]
[man 2] It's barely a scratch.
He's ditching the evidence!
[engine accelerating]
How did the police get here so fast?
What the hell are you doing?
[Tzu-ching] What are you doing?
Stop it, you're gonna kill us!
[both yelp]
[music disrupts]
[siren wailing]
[man 2] Wh... What did you do that for?
- [both panting]
- [man 1] What the hell are you doing, man?
- Are you crazy or something?
- [grunting]
[tires screeching]
[engine revving loudly]
[distant tires screeching]
[laughing mockingly]
- [laughing continues]
- [grunting]
- [engine revs]
- [tires screeching]
- [Ming-han grunts]
- [rattles]
[yelps, laughs]
- [tires screeching]
- [Tzu-ching grunts]
Dumbass! Ha-ha!
[calm music]
[siren wailing]
- [panting]
- [engine ignites, stops]
[engine ignites, stops]
Just collect the evidence.
[Ming-han] Hey!
What are you doing?
[groaning, coughing]
["Come With Me"
by Kay Liu ft. Austin Lin playing]
- Come with me, come with me
- [man laughing]
[Tzu-ching] Hey!
[maniacal laughter]
SAFETY FIRSCome with me, come with me
- Ta-ta-da, ta-da-ta
- [laughter continues]
- Hey!
- Come with me, come with me
[Tzu-ching screams]
- [maniacal laughter]
- [angry scream]
[Tzu-ching panting]
[Ming-han sighs]
Telling me what to do. Seriously...
[mocking Tzu-ching's voice]
Now go pick up the evidence!
[in normal voice]
You're so great, catching the bad guys.
[grunts, grumbling]
[tranquil music playing]
[ominous music]
- [woman 1] He picked it up!
- [party horn plays]
You scared me!
- [women exclaiming, cheering]
- [woman 2] Congratulations!
[woman 3] Congratulations!
[all cheering, chattering]
He's certainly handsome. Isn't he though?
- [woman 1] Yeah, yeah.
- [woman 2] Look at him.
- [woman 3] Oh my...
- Hey, stop it, stop it! Hey, stop that!
Mao-mao really knows how to choose.
Waiting all this time was so worth it.
- Yes!
- [woman 4] Yeah!
Yeah, they make a good couple.
He and Mao-mao are perfect for each other.
Hmm, they are.
[woman 5] They are perfect!
Well, I'm a police officer, so...
sorry, ladies, you'll have to move along.
Most people are too scared
to pick up a red envelope.
Oh, you are brave. Good for you!
[women laughing]
Oh, this isn't evidence.
I'll just put it back.
- [woman 1] Oh, don't!
- [woman 2] Oh, no, you can't do that!
- [Ming-han] He's a guy.
- [woman 3] Yes.
- You want me to ghost-marry a guy?
- [woman 4] Yes!
- [shouts] Are you crazy?
- [gasp]
[woman 1] Well, we already have
marriage equality for the living,
why not for the dead?
Don't be so old-fashioned!
- Yeah, you should be more open-minded!
- [woman 2] I know. Come on!
- I'm not doing it, ugh!
- [woman 3] What?
- [women gasping]
- [Tzu-ching] Wu Ming-han!
Yeah, I got it!
[Ming-han yelping]
- [grunting]
- [women laughing]
You see that? He's following you.
Ah, this is destiny.
- You can't stop it!
- [laughing continues]
- Is that right?
- [woman 1] Yeah.
You will suffer a life of misfortune,
- unless you agree!
- [woman 2] Mm.
[all whimper]
We officers serve and protect.
I'm a man of integrity,
I do not have a guilty conscience.
So he can follow me around.
- I don't care!
- [all gasp]
Oh, God have mercy, God have mercy!
And hey, expect bad luck!
This will bite you on the ass!
[Ming-han] No, this will bite me
on the ass, but I'll deal with it.
- [dramatic suspenseful music]
- [puffs]
Wait and see.
Think I'm looking pretty good.
You want to take my pic?
[man snickers]
[Chubby munching]
[sinister music]
Was someone looking for me?
You sure about that?
[Chubby] Mm-hm.
Ming-han. I need to tell you...
Have you been here eating chicken
the whole time?
[dramatic gasp]
Okay, so I'm just a fat gay guy, huh?
[scared grunt]
[grunts forcefully, panting]
[breathing nervously]
[yelps, gasps]
What's going on?
Well, I see you got my envelope
for the deputy.
I put in six grand as his wedding gift
for Saturday.
Six grand?
[comical sting]
Hey, you dick!
[dramatic gasp]
Hey, lady! Wait!
- [comical music]
- [sobbing]
[breathing angrily]
[Ming-han pants]
No, no, no, no, no, no!
- [tires screech]
- [both] Whoa!
- Learn to drive!
- [rider] You jumped in front of me!
- [thuds]
- Whoa! What the...
Hey, asshole, that's a fridge!
- [tires screeching]
- [Ming-han grunts]
You okay?
Uh, I tripped over...
[weak chuckle]
You sure?
[Ming-han] I'm fine, Captain.
[Yung-kang clears throat]
Hey, hey, hey. Pay attention.
Based on this statement
Tzu-ching took yesterday,
the drug dealer we caught, known as A-kou,
works for Lin Hsiao-yuan.
[Yung-kang] His confession has given us
multiple new leads on this case.
- This is our chance to take the boss down.
- [tense music]
It could be our biggest drug bust ever.
What? Get out of town!
We got a big fish!
Wait, that will be my arrest, right?
I think you'll find it was my arrest,
while you were stuck
in the car you crashed.
[Ming-han] Well, it should
at least be our arrest.
- We are partners.
- [laughs]
So now you wanna share credit?
[Yung-kang] Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Knock it off.
This guy ain't messing around.
I need you to follow up
on the locations A-kou gave us.
If he thinks we're onto him,
he'll skip town.
We need something to stick, all right?
We can't let him get away.
Not again.
[all] Yes, Captain.
Hey, Wu Ming-han. Chief wants to see you.
I'm getting a commendation?
I'm being demoted?
[comical music]
Know who you threw on the ground?
- [phone vibrating]
- [Chief Cheng] Transferring you
is practically a gift.
Councilman Chen.
Well, yes.
[soft chuckle]
How's your son doing?
Yes, I already handled it.
- [music stops]
- [cow mooing]
- [Ming-han sighs]
- [chickens clucking]
Officer 59487 reporting for duty.
[eerie music]
[Ming-han] That woman.
Is anyone handling her case?
What woman?
[eerie, haunting sting]
- [yelps, whimpers]
- Finally, someone noticed me.
Officer, someone is following me.
[mischievous laughter]
- He fell for it!
- He fell for it!
- Fuck, he really believed it.
- [both laughing]
- [laughing continues]
- [male officer] Oh, my God!
Someone is following you too.
[laughing continues]
[foreboding music]
[Ming-han] Confirmed,
no rounds in the magazine.
[male officer] Hey.
I heard you beat up a gay guy.
Not really. 'Cause of that damn faggot,
I've been super unlucky.
[Ming-han] Confirmed,
no rounds in the magazine.
- [gunshot]
- [gasps]
[metal clanging]
[male officer whimpers in fear]
- [gasps]
- [screaming]
[woman] You will suffer
a life of misfortune,
unless you agree!
[traditional Eastern music playing]
- [women gasping]
- [woman 1] Oh, there you are!
- Congratulations!
- [woman 2] Congratulations!
[indistinct chatter]
[woman 3] Oh!
- [woman 4] You're so handsome.
- [woman 5] Wow.
- [woman 6 gasps]
- [overlapping chatter]
Stop that frowning.
A ghost marriage brings good luck.
I just want to live.
- Of course you will.
- You'll live to a hundred.
- There's nothing to worry.
- [woman 1] Perfect.
- [woman 2] Cheese! Cheese!
- [woman 3] Now smile! Smile!
- [camera shutter clicks]
- Say "Grandma."
[breathing excitedly]
- [Granny] Oh, say it again.
- Grandma.
[Granny squeals]
- One more time.
- Grandma.
Oh! Okay, good.
From now on,
I will treat you as my own grandson.
It's a shame,
you haven't met our Mao-mao.
Our Mao-mao is a special young man.
He studied at National Taiwan University,
Building and Planning.
I'm not so sure what that is,
but it sounds impressive.
I'll show you some photographs.
[Granny] This is him as a baby.
Ah, he was so cute.
[somber music]
So handsome.
He would go to anti-nuclear protests
and beach cleanups.
It broke my heart to lose him.
[sniffles, breathes deeply]
This one was taken last year,
at a rally for same-sex marriage.
I told him, no matter what,
Grandma will always love you.
[breathes shakily]
[voice breaking]
Grandma will live to see you marry.
I'm so glad we've found you.
[breathes shakily]
I managed to keep my promise
to Mao-mao, didn't I?
[officiator] Come, it's time.
Now, where is our bride?
Sorry, I mean groom.
Our first groom is ready.
Groom number one, just stay right there,
we'll only be a minute.
And groom zero, come over here.
I'm not a zero!
What? What do you mean?
That's not what they told me.
- [sighs]
- Okay, fine.
[officiator] Mao-mao.
This is your fianc, Wu Ming-han.
The ceremony is about to begin.
Do you wish to proceed?
The blocks, the blocks!
Go on, cast the blocks!
[traditional music playing]
What in the hell is going on?
[officiator] Wonderful!
- He approves!
- [guests clapping]
Mao-mao is very pleased. Congratulations!
Mom. We discussed this. It's not right!
You've gone crazy!
What are you doing here?
And this guy.
Was there another boyfriend?
Of course not.
[Granny] This is his real match.
He's been chosen by fate.
Call him Father.
- Uh, Fa...
- [Mr. Mao] I'm not your father!
And I won't indulge this craziness!
And you, ladies!
Would you talk to her? Come on!
Show some respect for your mother!
Today's a happy day, don't get angry!
It's a good thing you're here.
As Mao-mao's father,
you should be
part of the wedding ceremony.
There's your seat. Sit.
Indulging my mother
is just making things worse!
This is ridiculous!
- Ridiculous!
- [gasps]
What's your problem?
- Get out!
- Mom.
- [Granny] You're not ruining this!
- Mom, this is...
- [Granny] Out! Out!
- [Mr. Mao] Mom!
[door closes]
[Granny] Okay, it's fine.
Let's keep going. Come on.
[traditional music playing]
Bow to Heaven and Earth.
No, no, not that way.
You're supposed to bow to them.
Now bow to the elders.
Just here.
- Bow to each other. Ooh!
- [Ming-han] Get off!
[guests cheering, clapping]
[happy chatter]
[traditional music continues]
Hurry, hurry, we're on the clock.
You need to tell Mao-mao what we're doing.
"Mao Pang-yu, we're in the car."
[in cold voice]
Mao Pang-yu, get in the car.
[officiator] "Mao Pang-yu,
we're crossing the bridge."
[Ming-han] Mao Pang-yu,
we're crossing the bridge.
[officiator] "Mao Pang-yu,
we're going upstairs."
Mao Pang-yu, we're going upstairs.
- "Mao Pang-yu, we're home."
- [women chuckling]
- Mao Pang-yu, we're home.
- [woman 1] I can't wait to see it.
[woman 2] Can we come? Come on in.
- Oh, oh, it's lovely.
- Should we put this down here?
- Maybe we can put that away...
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey.
[indistinct chatter]
[woman 3] Carry it over there.
Just right up. Yeah.
- Move that over... Okay.
- Hey, uh...
[unsettling music]
[officiator] Starting today,
you're Mao Pang-yu's husband.
You must sleep with him three nights.
Huh? Three nights?
- [women chuckling]
- [officiator] Mm.
Mao-mao always loves his MUJI shirt.
Look, isn't it lovely?
[Ming-han] What if I roll over
and end up sleeping on it?
Well, it's your wedding night.
It's completely normal. Enjoy it.
Oh! We don't know
who's gonna be on top yet.
[uneasy music]
This is crazy!
Well, you think I'm scared
of your fucking shirt and fucking pants?
What a joke! Jeez.
[water running]
[eerie whooshing]
[sinister music]
[startled gasp]
[breathing heavily]
[eerie music]
[Ming-han grunting]
Come here. Come here.
Come here.
Hello. Ooh!
Oh, fuck!
Are you shy, hubby?
[comical music]
Pervert! Put on some clothes!
- Hmm? Why don't we shower together?
- [gasps]
You crazy faggot!
Get away from me or I'm gonna kill...
[Ming-han breathing shakily]
Get away! Get away!
Get! Get! Go! Go!
Shoo! Shoo, faggot! Shoo!
All right, hey.
All right, enough!
[surprised grunt]
You keep saying "faggot."
You know you sound pathetic.
I never wanted a ghost marriage.
That "yes" block was a mistake.
[inhales deeply]
[Mr. Mao] What in the hell is going on?
[officiator] Wonderful!
He approves!
[inhales deeply]
So what is it gonna be?
Is it "fag", or "hubby"?
[breathes shakily]
[eerie music]
[Ming-han sucks teeth, groans]
I'm gonna give you one last chance, okay?
Is it "faggot", or "hubby"?
[bones cracking]
[scared gasp]
And that was your last chance!
[eerie sting]
[officer] Right turn on the red light.
There was not even anyone else
on the road!
- Watch the attitude.
- That wasn't attitude.
[officer] You want another ticket?
- What for?
- For riding a motorcycle in flip-flops.
- Well, what am I supposed to be wearing?
- Sir, don't make me...
[women yelping]
[upbeat playful music]
[Ming-han giggles]
[singing in Mandarin]
Spinning and jumping
With my eyes closed
To avoid the mortal turmoil
Are you intoxicated?
[officer in English] Hey.
Stop running!
[officer] Stop!
Stop right there!
- [Ming-han] Hmm?
- [officer] What are you doing?
[gentle music]
Careful, you'll break it.
[pole creaking]
Uh... that's pretty good, actually.
Yeah, okay, get down.
[sighs, scoffs]
[both screaming]
- [yelping]
- Hey, stop it!
- [Ming-han yelping]
- [grunts]
Stop it!
- [chuckling]
- [Ming-han] Okay, you win!
- What have you done to me?
- Hey, come back!
- [rooster crowing]
- [banging on door]
- [banging continues]
- [man grunts, groans]
Okay, okay, I'm coming.
Who is it? Whoa!
- [clanks]
- [yelps]
[Ming-han] Master.
That can't be.
[Ming-han] It happened.
Possession would harm his spirit.
Eventually, the aura of the living
will harm him,
and his spirit
will be scattered into oblivion.
Well, maybe he's already in pieces.
Oh, thank God.
Now I can go.
[harmonious music]
What's the matter?
He's right over there.
Wavy hair, pink shirt.
[breathes shakily]
Only you can see him.
I can't deal with this!
How do I get rid of him, Master?
He said he didn't want to marry me.
Can we get a divorce?
That's three noes in a row.
It's no good.
We must obey
what the fates have chosen.
[somber music]
You shared a special connection
in a previous life.
What are you saying?
In your past life,
- you were his dog.
- [music stops]
[dogs panting, moaning]
[comical music]
He remains in the mortal world
because he has unfinished business.
The only solution is to fulfill
his dying wishes
so that he can be reincarnated.
Mao Pang-yu,
I'm very sorry I offended you.
[inhales sharply]
The master said your spirit is hurt
due to body possession.
- [Ming-han] Please don't do that again.
- [inhales deeply]
Ah, he told me to come home
and burn incense and pay respect.
- [inhales deeply]
- [Ming-han] If this isn't enough,
I'll light some more, uh, incense.
[Pang-yu] Hmm?
Who am I?
- Husband or faggot?
- [sighs deeply]
A little louder, I couldn't hear.
[inhales deeply]
- Husband.
- Say it louder.
- Husband.
- I said louder.
[Pang-yu] Hmm...
You don't really think
I want you as a husband?
Oh, give me a break.
I just want to reincarnate.
That's good.
Do you have any unfinished business?
Maybe I can help you with it.
- [yelps, whimpers]
- I do.
Stop global warming.
- [suspenseful music]
- [Ming-han breathing shakily]
[soft growl]
That's ridiculous.
Oh, you're gonna do your part.
We only have one Earth.
[Pang-yu] Hmm.
[breathes deeply]
Is there another way
to save the polar bears?
[polar bear growls]
[calm music]
Is that the best you've got?
What a tightass.
Add a zero.
And make it per month.
MONTHLY DEBIOoh, what a sticky keyboard.
[whistling tune]
[Ming-han grunting]
[staff] Hi, welcome.
Green tea.
- [staff] Straws are right here.
- [grunts]
- [eerie sting]
- Where is your reusable cup?
- [mellow music]
- [sighs]
Huh. Unbelievable.
What is it now?
Take off those underpants.
How is that gonna save the Earth?
In a lot of ways.
Let's start with my eyes.
Then I guess we save the Earth
from ugly underpants.
[Pang-yu] Ooh! Junior Mao!
[gasps, shouts]
Junior Mao!
Stray dogs and polar bears.
Don't you have a different dying wish?
This is my typical day.
Helping the world, okay?
Junior Mao.
Let's take a photo, okay?
Right, and we'll post it online.
Hmm. I was meant to keep him, you know.
[Ming-han] Come one, Junior Mao. Sit.
He's super smart.
One of his favorite games is playing dead.
[Pang-yu] Bang bang.
- Bang bang.
- [Junior Mao whines]
[Pang-yu] Ah, that's so adorable!
You're so smart.
- [smooching]
- Ha-ha, cool.
Hey, you were my dog, weren't you?
Let's see if you remember the game.
I am not your dog.
And you're lame.
[Pang-yu groans]
Bang bang.
[Pang-yu] Unbelievable, right?
Pavlovian conditioning.
You really were my dog in a past life.
If I was your dog in a past life,
I probably ate you
and that's why I'm so unlucky.
[Pang-yu] Hey, don't say that.
Ghost marriages can bring you good luck.
For example, I could help you
return to the precinct.
Would you really?
[inhales deeply]
Well, that depends on you.
Bang bang. Eh?
[Junior Mao whines]
Junior Mao...
Hey, can you see me?
Hey, Ming-han.
You have to keep him.
You're my hubby. I can't walk him.
And I can't feed him.
[Ming-han] God, this is getting stupid
- by the minute.
- [Junior Mao whines]
- [Ming-han sighs]
- Oh my.
If I'm ever to reincarnate,
I think I'll need extra help.
I wonder if I have more dying wishes.
[inhales deeply]
This is like
when Mao-mao would come to visit.
Grandma, these eggs are delicious, thanks.
- Mmm.
- You should stay for dinner.
I'll make you something special.
Uh-huh. Sure, thanks.
[melancholic music]
- [music disrupts]
- [Ming-han] Which room is it?
[utensils rattling]
[Ming-han gasps]
- [Ming-han] Okay.
- [chopping in distance]
Already they, uh,
turned your room into storage.
These are my belongings.
There's craft everywhere.
[soft suspenseful music]
My grandma always kept it clean
so I could stay when I wanted.
[both sigh]
Look in the one underneath.
Oh, Pa!
- Pa?
- Hmm.
- Pa.
- [soft chuckle]
I'm not your Pa.
And what are you doing in here?
He's holding my phone. Go on.
I, ooh...
- Well...
- [Mr. Mao] I said what are you doing here?
Well, I'm, uh...
Me, return...
Uh... it's Mao-mao's, uh,
post-wedding family visit!
You're out of your mind.
- Yes!
- Yeah!
I am all over this, right?
Then go get it.
Ugh, were you this pushy
when you were alive?
Oh, shut up.
[playful music]
[phone chimes]
- Hey, Siri.
- [phone chimes]
- What's the passcode?
- [Ming-han and Mao-mao scream]
[startled scream]
I don't have access to that information.
If you're gonna be like that,
I'd rather you go home
and eat by yourself.
I'll just reheat the soup.
Oh, thanks, Grandma.
[chuckles awkwardly]
Wu Ming-han, get my phone.
You're taking forever.
Hurry up and get it!
How will I do that?
Oh, my God.
You're a cop, aren't you?
[Mr. Mao] You're a cop, aren't you?
[Ming-han] Oh. Yes.
At which precinct?
Well, I was in Gia-Gun Precinct.
But I got transferred to a police station.
Gia-Gun Precinct?
- Yeah.
- My son's hit-and-run,
it was investigated by your precinct,
you know.
And what was it they told me?
"The surveillance footage
has disappeared."
And they closed the case.
They didn't even try!
There may have been no evidence.
There are good cops.
There are too many scumbags
working in the police.
Hey, enough small talk.
Just get the phone.
Or I'll possess you and get it.
Uh... hey, Mr. Mao,
can I borrow Mao-mao's phone?
What for?
I would like to get to know him.
[Pang-yu] Mm...
I was gonna take it to a shop
and get it unlock...
- No, you can't!
- No, you can't!
Can I try it?
I guess you can try.
[sighs in relief]
The one I said.
[soft suspenseful music]
[Pang-yu] Did you find it?
- That's the one right there!
- [Granny] Here, the soup is ready.
Oh, thanks, Grandma.
- And now what?
- Um...
- Grandma?
- [Granny] Yes?
So, what's your birthday?
- [Ming-han] Maybe that's the passcode.
- [Granny] Oh,
it's September 9th by the lunar calendar.
- So you're a Virgo, huh?
- And that one.
- What year?
- 1937.
- Can you be quicker?
- You look so young.
- [Pang-yu sighs]
- You sweet young man.
[men moaning in video]
- [Granny] Hey!
- [imitates moaning]
- Do you need something?
- Hot! Hot, hot, hot!
[Ming-han imitates moaning]
- [gasping]
- Ah, that's it. I used a lot of Sichuan.
- [awkward laugh]
- [Granny] Mao-mao loved spicy food.
Why are you doing it one by one?
Delete all of them!
[soft suspenseful music continues]
Ooh, not that one.
Keep that one.
Airdrop it.
Just airdrop it, stop messing around!
Okay, God, I was doing it.
[Ming-han] Oh, Mr. Mao.
I'm sorry, I can't unlock it.
You never told me about the guy.
Were you gonna keep it a secret?
Look, I never wanted this ghost marriage.
It was you who picked up the red envelope.
- Are you saying it's my fault?
- Of course it is!
Oh, I see.
You looked all cozy.
Were you gonna marry the guy?
Maybe he's your dying wish.
It's a good thing
that we didn't get married.
Because he'd be even more upset.
There's something
I've been wanting to tell you for a while.
You will not be marrying him!
[Mr. Mao] I won't agree
to any of this nonsense!
- [tires screeching]
- [loud crash]
[inhales deeply]
Well, I think...
if I could see him once more,
then I would have no more regrets.
Oh, my God, why didn't you say earlier?
You're a time waster.
People are complex.
How could there be just one dying wish?
I died unexpectedly.
I need to consider things.
And hey...
you promised me
- you'd help me get...
- Yeah, you won't let me forget that.
What do you want with that job anyway?
You heard my dad.
Like you care.
- You're selfish.
- [elevator dings]
You just want me to do your stupid wishes.
[Ming-han scoffs]
[Ming-han] Which one is it?
What do you want me to say?
Tell him that he shouldn't be too sad.
Forget me.
And go find someone else.
[inhales sharply]
- [sighs]
- [doorbell rings]
Chen Chia-hao?
Someone's here.
Who is it?
[melancholic music]
[Ming-han] Hey, wha...
[chuckles awkwardly]
He your friend?
He wanted Chen Chia-hao.
Oh, how weird.
Come and eat.
[Ming-han panting]
Where did you go?
Your boyfriend's a real piece of work.
I'm satisfied.
I'm glad he's doing well.
Man, this wish
was easily fulfilled.
[Ming-han] So, you ready to reincarnate?
- [Pang-yu] Not yet.
- Jesus.
You said you wanted to see your boyfriend
one more time.
How long are you gonna drag this on?
It's not my fault that I can't reincarnate
just because I want to...
Uh... Mr. Mao.
Why are you here?
I'm patrolling.
Yeah. How about you, huh?
I'm trying to find the car that hit Mao.
And I still can't figure out the passcode.
Look, uh, I don't believe
in ghost marriages,
but I've done all I can.
Perhaps fate has stepped in.
[Mr. Mao] This is
all the information I've collected,
and Mao-mao's phone.
I'm turning them over to you now.
[melancholic music]
[bike engine starts, revs]
[Ming-han] Uh... Mr. Mao,
you have to wear your helmet!
[Pang-yu] Hey, Siri.
Call Chia-hao.
[Siri] Do you want to call Chia-hao Baby?
That's what I said.
[line beeping]
[Siri] Your call will be forwarded
to an automated message service.
You will be charged after the tone.
[line beeping]
[Siri] Your call will be forwarded
to an automated message service.
- You will be charged after the tone.
- [gulps]
[melancholic music continues]
Baby, I've been trying
to get a hold of you all day.
- Listen. I, I...
- [tires screeching]
[Pang-yu sighs]
I had a big fight with my dad.
I was angry.
I was calling Chia-hao all day,
but he never answered.
I was planning on sending him an IG story.
I was filming it when I was hit.
[chuckles bitterly]
[soft suspenseful music]
DRAFDRAFBaby, why aren't you answering
your phone today?
I've been trying
to get a hold of you the whole day.
- Listen. I...
- [tires screeching on video]
Look, it was that guy.
The one who ended my bootylicious life!
[Ming-han] Ugh, damn.
I can't see his face.
Your camera work is really terrible.
You just watched me die,
and you're bitching about my camera work?
CASE CLOSING REPOR[Ming-han] "On the day of the accident,
there was one surveillance camera
on that road.
But the footage went missing."
[soft suspenseful music continues]
Huh, it's very convenient
that that one's missing, isn't it?
But everyone is a surveillance camera
these days.
[Pang-yu] Oh, my God.
My gorgeous face.
Please catch this asshole.
Then, I can reincarnate.
[suspenseful music]
Ladies and gentlemen, behold!
No wonder the precinct couldn't find it.
Even I was lucky to find it.
You know why?
I asked over 20 drivers
until I found out
who has parked there that night.
[Ming-han chuckles]
- [chimes on computer]
- [mouse clicking]
- What? He's facing the wrong way.
- Ugh.
- For God's sake.
- So no video.
Wait a minute.
[maniacal laughter]
I chased this guy the other day.
That's why I picked up the red packet.
Maybe it was fate after all.
[soft music]
- [smooches]
- Ugh! Stop being weird.
Why can't fate choose better channels?
Marrying a dead guy...
Oh, so dramatic.
- [tires screeching]
- [loud crash]
[Pang-yu] Oh, that's where I died.
- Hmm?
- [Ming-han] Huh?
Wait. "5518, 6610."
Yeah. Yeah. Now look what we got.
We got two witnesses.
That one's name's A-kou.
He's a drug dealer
and we got him in the precinct.
This case will be finished in two seconds.
Just like you.
[male CID] It seems he had an argument
at the detention center.
Got beaten to death.
It's a headache for everyone.
All right, I'll get to work.
Call me if you need anything.
You said this case would take two seconds.
Now what do you think?
[through gritted teeth]
Well, you're dead, go talk to him.
It doesn't work that way!
We're not all friends because we're dead.
No matter, it's cool.
What this is is a minor setback.
We've got the other guy.
[upbeat music playing in distance]
Oh, he's gay.
You know each other?
Didn't we just go through this?
We're not all friends because we're gay.
Ugh, jeez, you're so dramatic.
I'll go in alone.
You can't go in dressed like that.
- [rhythmic club music]
- Huh?
["Bravo Lover" by Jolin Tsai playing]
[crowd cheering]
- Go, go, sister
- [crowd singing along]
- Go, go, brother
- Go, go, brother
All forms of love are the same
Everyone can have it
- Go, go, lover
- Go, go, lover
- Bravo, lover
- Bravo, lover
- Bitter and sweet, but true love wins
- Bitter and sweet, but true love wins
- You're my lover
- You're my lover
[muffled music and cheers]
[soft music]
Go, go, sister
Go, go, brother
Oh, unbelievable.
Wow, someone's born again.
Perhaps you did need a little help.
Hey. Don't I look too handsome?
- Go, go, lover
- [soft chuckle]
So, if you were my husband,
I'd think you're hot.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- [soft chuckle]
Hey, this 6610 car.
He was a witness to my car accident?
Just bring him in for questioning.
My God.
He hangs out with drug dealers.
One of them just died in custody.
Do you really think he'd cooperate?
He'd straight up destroy
the dashcam footage.
Damn it.
Why did he have to be so buff?
What's the matter?
Are you a bit scared?
[in mocking tone]
No, I'm not.
[in normal voice]
Of course I'm not.
[clears throat]
I wouldn't wanna make you jealous,
'cause I look good.
Do you know how to pick up a gay guy?
Well, yeah.
Uh, so...
Are you gay, man?
Me too.
And he'd beat you to death for that.
It's not your words that are important.
You say it with your eyes.
Right here.
Hey, try it on me.
Give it a try.
No, that's ugly.
Try again.
Are you trying to look awful?
You've got to look passionate and sincere.
[club music stops]
[soft, romantic music]
How was that?
[club music continues]
He doesn't look into it!
Just go.
But he's...
Going home so early?
How about I get you a drink?
- [Ming-han grunts]
- [man] Get your hands off me,
- you fucking fag.
- [groans in pain]
- Oh, fuck.
- [phone ringing]
[man] Yeah, on my way.
Are people still throwing gay guys around?
- [woman 1] Wow!
- [woman 2] That was amazing.
[man 1] That was so graceful.
[man 2] Such a great dancer.
[birds chirping]
[car engine turns off]
[Pang-yu] Hmm, now what?
- [yawns]
- So officer, what's the plan?
I should just take him in for questioning.
[soft gasp]
But that's what I said!
Then why did we waste the entire night?
[Pang-yu] Hmph.
I took you out, didn't I?
And I'm pretty sure you had fun.
You were like...
[mocking Mao-mao's singing]
Go, go, sister
Go, go, lover
Oh, what in the hell?
[comical music]
[Pang-yu whimpering]
Oh, God! What are you doing?
- What are you doing?
- Do something, do something.
- Why are you following Hsiao-ma?
- [Ming-han] Huh?
That guy's Hsiao-ma?
Are you spying on him?
A-kou told us before he was killed.
Hsiao-ma is
Lin Hsiao-yuan's right-hand man.
I'm on a stakeout.
And... as for you,
you were transferred.
Why are you following him?
I, uh, I, I'm, uh...
helping a friend
investigate a hit-and-run
where Hsiao-ma and A-kou were witnesses.
A-kou is dead.
So he's the only one.
I thought
that the surveillance footage disappeared.
[Pang-yu shouts]
Wu Ming-han.
- Yeah, well, that's the reason I...
- Tell her to go sit in the back seat
right now!
You want my help, go sit in the back!
- [both] Go and sit in the back?
- Yeah!
- [Pang-yu] I'm not sitting back there!
- Why should I sit back there?
You want to dance naked again
because you're possessed?
It's just only my wife
can sit in the front.
- [comical music]
- [Pang-yu chuckles]
You're such a weird guy.
[all gasp]
- Target's on the move!
- [screaming]
[sighs, groans]
[suspenseful music]
[Tzu-ching] This has to be the place.
Look at all the cameras.
[camera shutter clicks]
[Tzu-ching] Lin Hsiao-yuan!
- [gasping]
- Damn it!
[camera shutter clicks]
[Hsiao-yuan] There won't be a problem.
It's not the first time.
When did you become such a coward?
Okay, okay.
- [Ming-han grunts]
- [camera shutter clicking]
You've been seen.
He's made us.
- [engine ignites]
- Hey, are you crazy?
- What the hell are you doing?
- Ming-han!
[car engine humming]
Argh, for God's sake!
- Hey, what are you doing?
- Hey, hey.
- Hey! What...
- [Tzu-ching] No, I've had enough!
You've got no idea where you're going!
I told you to ask for directions!
Oh, honey, come on. Get in the car.
- [Ming-han] Relax, it'll be fine.
- [sighs]
[Tzu-ching] You keep saying
we're almost there, we're almost there.
In all our years together,
I can tell you I never once got there!
Where in the hell are we?
Oh, excuse me.
Uh, um, we're looking for the factory
that sells sofas.
Do you know where Shuanghe Street is?
[henchman] Nope.
I suppose I'll keep looking.
Darling! You've gone and put in
the wrong address!
- Ah...
- Your stupidity
is causing stress to our baby.
Oh, okay, sweetheart. Sorry about that.
Oh, uh, hey.
- Is that the main road, up that way?
- [henchman] Yeah.
- Thank you so much.
- Oh, thanks.
Okay, so let's go home.
- The baby is going crazy.
- Okay.
I don't understand you, darling.
You're so useless!
[upbeat music rises, fades]
With this evidence,
we can apply for a search warrant.
Now I'm sure to get my job back.
[chuckles mischievously]
Oh, come on.
Hey, that's not nice.
Chief said yes.
Once this investigation is closed,
you can return to the precinct.
Yes! Yes! This is awesome. Yes.
[Ming-han clears throat]
Listen, you two.
This is a win for both of you, okay?
So enough with the petty bickering.
You're supposed to be partners.
His time away's being good for him.
Hmm? He's mature, Wu Ming-han.
- [Ming-han] Yeah?
- Yeah. Give him a go.
Thanks, Captain.
Thanks, sir.
- I'm gonna work hard!
- All right, all right.
- Be more mature!
- [Yung-kang] All right.
- Mature my ass.
- [male officer 1] It's so unfair.
She's pretty but she's so stuck-up.
- You know what I mean?
- [male officer 2] She is stuck-up.
Bitch turned me down.
[male officer 1] She was just lucky
finding the drug warehouse.
Who knows who she fucked
to get that information?
Probably the Chief.
- [laughter]
- Hey. What are you doing?
They shouldn't say those things.
Guys who say things like that
just have tiny dicks.
That's what I think
when I hear that kind of crap.
Don't be shooting me a look of pity, hmm?
There are things I wanna achieve.
I believe I'll prove myself
one of these days.
Don't treat me
like I'm helpless.
[gentle music]
Hey, you haven't forgot
the most important thing.
I know.
I'm gonna find the guy who killed you.
I'm glad to hear it.
[relaxing music]
[Tzu-ching] Hello, may I ask
if your bowel movements are regular?
I'm a sales representative
from The Family Probiotics Group.
My name is Ching-ching.
Let us take care of your family.
It's working?
[blows air]
- No mistakes on this one.
- [Chubby] Yes, Captain.
You like Tzu-ching, huh?
Don't be stupid!
Uh... I mean...
Go, team.
I suggest you don't even try.
There's more to her than meets the eye.
She's smart and really ambitious.
She won't be controlled by you.
This is really important.
If we crack this case,
I can return to the precinct.
And will apprehend
the other witness as well.
So if you want to reincarnate,
stop messing around.
Captain, the target has arrived
at the factory.
Okay, move out.
- Sir!
- [Tzu-ching] Yes, sir!
[suspenseful music]
[Tzu-ching] Excuse me.
Hi, may I ask,
are your bowel movements regular?
- [henchman] Huh?
- I'm with the Family Probiotics Group.
- And...
- [henchman] It's fine.
- ...I'm in the area.
- You should, you should go.
[Tzu-ching] Sir, are you sure?
If you'll just allow me to tell you
about some of our products,
I can really do with the sales,
otherwise, my boss will be furious
and he'll probably kill me.
[clicking tongue]
Well, let's see what they're up to inside.
[Tzu-ching] ...and greatly improve your...
Many different types...
Something's not right.
Won't they recognize Tzu-ching
on their cameras?
[Tzu-ching] Perhaps I can show you...
[tense music]
Wu Ming-han.
They're dumping shit like crazy!
Dumping shit like crazy?
- [all] Dumping shit like crazy?
- [gasps]
[comical music]
Ah? Aha...
[Ming-han] Got it.
[suspenseful music]
Uh? Hey!
[Ming-han grunts]
The cops are here!
What are you doing?
He just wanted to add me on WhatsApp!
[henchman] The cops are outside!
- I was protecting you.
- I said I'm not helpless!
Shit! Okay, let's go!
Move into positions! Go, go, go!
- [suspenseful music]
- [tires screeching]
[siren wailing]
Come with me, come with me
- [officer 1] On your six!
- [officer 2] Go, go, go, go, go, go!
- [officer 1] Go! Go!
- [officer 3] Get down! Take cover!
- [officer 4] Here we go!
- [officer 5] Watch your back!
- [officer 1] Cover me!
- [officer 2] Move in!
Come with me, come with me
Come with me, come with me
What's the holdup?
We need to cut through! Cut through!
Come with me, come with me
Come with me, come with me
[indistinct shouting]
[officer 1] Get down, don't move!
- Drop your weapons! Stop dancing!
- [officer 2] Go, go, go!
- Get down. Get down on the ground!
- [officer 3] Get down. Get down.
[music continues playing in background]
Captain Chang, welcome.
Want some hot pot, hmm?
Or perhaps a quick game?
- [laughter]
- [henchman] Good one, boss!
You know, I'm thankful, really.
You've brought
all these people to greet me,
and it's not even New Year.
- [indistinct chatter over radio]
- [phone ringing]
You ruined the entire operation.
It's like you want to be demoted.
[car engine ignites]
[grunts, yelps]
- [comical music]
- [mouths]
[Ming-han] Huh?
[Ming-han chuckles]
[Yung-kang] Why did Wu Ming-han tell us
they were dumping shit?
[Chubby] We were only there
ten minutes before going in,
how could they destroy so much evidence
in that time?
Could someone have tipped them off?
[Chubby] Whoa. Seriously?
[officer] Is there a mole in the squad?
[Chubby] Oh, my God,
this is just like Infernal Affairs.
Hasn't Boss Lin
planted a mole on the force before?
[tense music]
[tires screeching]
[both grunt]
[mouse clicks]
[both] Lin Hsiao-yuan.
[soft chuckle]
We want the same guy
for your hit-and-run and the drug case.
[in cheerful voice]
Eh? Uh?
- [tires screeching on video]
- [loud crash on video]
[Tzu-ching] Where did you get this?
Do you have your own informant
on Lin Hsiao-yuan?
Uh, that's right.
I'm really sorry about today, but, uh,
you know, with this,
you can arrest him for the hit-and-run.
How come you gave this to me?
Because we're partners.
[soft music]
I don't want to be your partner.
[Ming-han sighs]
You're still trying
to get on her good side.
You should have submitted
the card yourself.
Don't you want your job back?
I've told you a hundred times.
It's just about helping you reincarnate.
[Chubby] Ming-han.
[Yung-kang] Wu Ming-han.
We're moving out.
You're riding with me. Let's go.
Sir. Okay!
[epic music]
[car engines ignite]
[sirens wailing]
Do you really have an informant
close to Boss Lin?
[Pang-yu] Hmm?
I think we have a mole.
Lin Hsiao-yuan is ruthless.
If he finds your informant,
then who knows what will happen?
Tell me who it is.
[suspenseful music]
Uh, he's, uh...
What? Dead?
But it's only been a couple of hours!
Lin Hsiao-yuan truly is ruthless.
That's right.
He's totally ruthless.
We have to get him, sir.
So my informant can rest in peace.
[comical music]
[gentle footsteps approaching]
- [radio beeps]
- [Yung-kang] Door is open.
Approach with caution.
[officer 1 over radio] Go, go, go.
[Yung-kang] Go, go, go!
[officer 2 over radio] Clear.
[officer 3 over radio] Clear.
[officer 4 over radio] Clear.
[Yung-kang] Fuck!
He's long gone.
[tense music]
There really must be a mole
in the precinct.
[Yung-kang] Wu Ming-han.
You said your informant gave you
the tip-off on Hsiao-ma.
So what happened at the drug bust, huh?
You broke cover
and compromised the operation.
You had an informant.
And now you say he's dead.
What am I supposed to think?
you said the perpetrator
on your hit-and-run case
just happens to be our crime boss.
Are you the mole, Wu Ming-han?
Wu Ming-han. I wish I could trust you.
You're suspended, effective immediately,
unless you give us your informant!
- [lightning crackling]
- [rain pattering]
[Pang-yu] See?
You shouldn't have given
the memory card to her.
Now look what's happened.
[Junior Mao grunting]
[Pang-yu] Wu Ming-han.
Fine if you don't wanna eat,
but feed the dog.
- He's an innocent creature.
- [Junior Mao whining]
You're being selfish.
[grunting, growling]
- [Ming-han] Who did you just call selfish?
- Hmm?
Say that again.
You. Who else?
I'm selfish?
Who am I doing all this shit for?
You're doing it for you,
so you can get rid of me.
Oh, yeah?
Did I ask for this stupid ghost marriage?
This has brought me nothing but bad luck!
Hey, don't be like that.
You would never have found
those leads without me.
[Pang-yu] I helped you
find the drug warehouse,
and 6610's dashcam footage.
You wouldn't have found
any of it without me.
I can't communicate with a straight guy.
Is that so?
That's a dumb thing to say!
How is being straight the problem?
Straight guys always miss the point.
You're all self-centered, ego maniacs.
- That's discriminating!
- [chuckles]
Oh, you want to talk about discrimination?
You're talking to a homosexual!
I've dealt with that shit for years
and so is Tzu-ching!
"Women need a big strong man
to rescue them,"
that's how you guys think.
You go to hell!
You think you're so smart, huh?
You and your social issues?
You know what your real problem is?
You're the only problem!
That's bullshit!
Your father, and your ex.
How's that going?
[thunder rumbling]
That's why you're still here!
What are you doing?
Flying into a rage!
Where are you going?
I'm taking this to your beloved boyfriend.
I told you, I'm glad if he's okay,
so leave him alone!
That doesn't mean shit.
Wu Ming-han,
you're acting immature and petty.
Like a guy with a really tiny dick!
My dick's so big
it's hard to carry around!
You saw it before?
I don't even think you have a dick!
Do you want to be possessed?
Go ahead, you're just scared to be pussy!
What would I be scared about?
That Chia-hao didn't want
a ghost marriage.
[doorbell ringing]
[Ming-han sighs]
This is Mao-mao's funeral tablet.
I'm just passing on
some messages from him.
[Chia-hao] You're a psychic?
I'm not.
But what I am is currently suffering
from a ghost marriage
due to an unfortunate mix-up
with the red envelope.
Mao-mao's next to me.
Khaki trousers, wavy hair, ugly shirt.
- What?
- [Ming-han sighs]
[Ming-han] Ghost marriages are lucky.
And you wanted to marry him.
- Well, now's your chance.
- Stay away from me!
Oh, no, you don't!
- I'm not messing around!
- [shouts]
Mao Pang-yu!
You wanted to possess me?
So do it, and you can talk to this guy!
- Get lost!
- [Ming-han grunts]
[Ming-han] Why?
Mao-mao was killed
and you don't seem to care.
You just hooked up with a new guy.
Look, I never wanted to marry anyone.
But Mao-mao got carried away.
- [sobs]
- [somber music]
He was always talking about it,
and I didn't wanna upset him.
[Chia-hao] He was so determined.
I didn't want to hurt his feelings.
I started keeping my distance.
I mean, what else could I do?
Now please leave.
Stop crying, he's not worth it.
This is ridiculous!
Now you've made him cry.
[Ming-han] Why weren't you honest
about your feelings?
Because he didn't wanna hear it!
- You fuck!
- [groans in pain]
[Pang-yu] Wu Ming-han!
[Chia-hao panting]
What the hell was that for?
[Chia-hao groans]
I want you to ask,
did I do something wrong?
Or was I not good enough?
Mao-mao is asking,
did he do something wrong,
or was he not good enough?
What the fuck, Mao-mao?
He's the one who's not good enough.
You're too good for him.
You're right. I'm not good enough.
Now just go away, okay?
- You piece of shit!
- [groans]
You fucking crazy?
Coming to my home just like Mao's dad?
Punching me and making demands?
You're pathetic!
You need a good kick in the ass!
Stop or I'll call the police!
I am the police, idiot!
- [Ming-han shouts]
- [Chia-hao] No, please!
[Chia-hao panting]
[somber music continues]
[Junior Mao barking]
- [Junior Mao whines]
- [Ming-han grunts]
[Ming-han breathes deeply]
[Ming-han] Hey,
I've been looking all over for you.
It's a good thing
I brought Junior Mao out.
He found you.
[soft grunt]
Don't worry about it,
I don't need consoling.
Hey, look at this.
[Ming-han chuckles]
I put these on just for you.
They're super comfy.
You're not very good at this, are you?
I'm sorry.
I'm just a dumb, straight guy.
Well, that's better
than being a dead gay guy.
You've got time.
[gentle music]
I can see things more clearly now.
Things I should have faced up to
when I was alive.
You know, for a dumb, straight guy,
you are not that selfish at all.
Thank you.
I mean, listen,
Chia-hao seems like he's just an idiot.
What did you see in him
that made you want to marry him?
I dated guys
but it was always just sex.
Chia-hao came along,
and I was in love.
And then, when they legalized
gay marriage...
[voice breaking]
...I thought we could grow old together.
Except it was just me who wanted that.
Ah, yeah.
But you know,
it's just a useless piece of paper
that doesn't mean shit.
There are divorces every day.
Although a ghost marriage is forever.
Actually, what I want is really simple.
You know, I just want someone...
to love
and be with forever.
A friend and lover.
Someone who would stand beside me.
I wanted someone...
who I could trust utterly
and unreservedly,
and for him to trust me the same way.
I'd be happy with that.
you just want someone to love you.
[sniffles, chuckles sadly]
If that was my dying wish...
well, now it's too late
to make it come true.
Hey, I have a solution for that.
You just stick around.
Cheaper than a dog,
because I don't have to feed you.
Besides, I was your dog in a past life
so it must be your turn now.
[Ming-han] Hmm?
You think...
except you're my dog, aren't ya?
Bang bang.
[Ming-han sighs]
- [imitates groaning]
- [Pang-yu chuckles]
- [Ming-han huffing, panting]
- [Junior Mao barks, whining]
[Pang-yu chuckles]
Junior Mao.
Are you saying you love me?
[Junior Mao whining]
Hey, come here.
Hey, what do you think, huh?
Time for a cuddle?
[soft, tranquil music]
[Pang-yu] If I could post an IG story now,
I'd frame you both against that sky,
with the hashtag,
"So nice to have you both in my life."
Hashtag, "Thanks, guys.
I'm going now."
[alarm clock ringing]
[ringing stops]
[sighs deeply]
Uh, Junior Mao.
Now it's just the two of us.
[melancholic music]
[Pang-yu] Hey, Wu Ming-han.
I think I'm ready to reincarnate.
[soft chuckle]
[harmonious music]
- [soft gasp]
- [Pang-yu] Wu Ming-han.
Oh, no way.
[Pang-yu] Take good care of Junior Mao.
And visit my grandma sometimes.
For God's sake,
please get some stylish underpants.
Junior Mao.
- Wait here till I get home.
- [Junior Mao whines]
[Junior Mao whining]
- [music disrupts]
- [door opens]
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
[door closes]
I almost forgot.
[exhales deeply]
[Ming-han] Click!
[mouse clicks]
7 HOURS 11 MINUTES LEF- [chuckles mischievously]
- [relaxing music]
- [growls]
- [Ming-han] What?
We're out of cabbage.
I've checked the surveillance footage,
and Ying-jeou is not following you.
[woman] No, not on the street,
at my house.
Okay, well, uh, we can install scanners
that will detect any listening devices
in your house. Okay?
[woman] Well...
[phone chimes]
[Yung-kang sighs]
[car chirps]
- [phone vibrating]
- [eerie music]
[Yung-kang] Hello?
Boss Lin?
[suspenseful music]
You're on your way?
Pier Two.
I'm heading over. Got it.
[female anchor on video]
Macau's first online casino is here.
Lucky Square Entertainment City.
Sexy dealers are excited to play with you.
It gives you
a different kind of gambling experience,
and provides all kinds of lottery games.
[actress on video] Hello.
I'm Aki Haruko.
157 centimeters tall.
47 kilos with a G-cup bust size.
- [objects clinking]
- [actress] I'm good at...
[keyboard key clacks]
- [clicks]
- [water running]
[objects clattering]
[ominous music]
[breathes shakily]
- [knocking]
- [soft gasp]
- [Pang-yu growling]
- [dramatic sting]
[breathes shakily]
- [Pang-yu growling]
- [dramatic sting]
- [sighs]
- [growling continues]
[scattered growling]
My God!
What the hell is this?
I thought you're gone!
Stop yelling at me, all right?
I've come with information.
What information?
Lin Hsiao-yuan is skipping town tonight!
How do you know that?
It doesn't matter how I know that.
Captain Chang is the mole.
Yung-kang is the mole?
- [suspenseful music]
- [Ming-han] Pick up, pick up the phone.
Oh, good! Chubby,
Hsiao-yuan is skipping town tonight.
He's leaving from Pier Two.
[Chubby over phone] Ming-han,
how are you getting that...?
I don't have time for that,
just get everyone there!
[Yung-kang] Do you really have
an informant close to Boss Lin?
I think we have a mole.
Lin Hsiao-yuan is ruthless.
If he finds your informant,
who knows what will happen?
You're suspended, effective immediately...
Tell me who it is.
...unless you give us your informant!
[suspenseful music continues]
That's why he wanted the informant so bad.
He was trying to protect Lin Hsiao-yuan.
It's unbelievable, right?
If I wasn't spying,
you'd be none the wiser.
Yeah, what about that?
Bullshit reincarnation. You're an ass.
I just wanna help with your case.
Because without me,
- you'll never get back to the precinct.
- [car accelerating]
- [sighs]
- Please, you're just a pussy
- who can't face any...
- Back off, all right?
You were trying to keep me here.
That's horrifying.
I'm trying to reincarnate,
not hang around.
Still full of shit.
You're so busy looking for love,
- you told me...
- [gunshots]
- [both screaming]
- [tires screeching]
[tires screeching]
Fuck me! How does this
escalate into a shoot-out?
- [panting]
- [action music]
[Chubby yelping]
I don't wanna do this shit anymore!
[yelping, screaming]
Another one! Get back! Get back!
Lin Hsiao-yuan. He's getting away!
- [rapid gunshots]
- [man 1 screams]
[man 2 groans]
[Chubby whimpers, screams]
[muffled karaoke music playing]
[karaoke music playing]
[woman screaming]
[woman panting, screaming]
[suspenseful music]
Don't move.
[exhales sharply]
Wu Ming-han?
[Yung-kang] Wha... what are you doing?
[Ming-han panting]
Did you think I wouldn't figure it out?
Your phone call to Hsiao-yuan.
Pier Two to Macau.
If I hadn't told Chubby...
What? What are you talking about?
Captain, I just received a tip.
Boss Lin is skipping town.
Boss Lin?
I'm on my way there.
- He's leaving from Pier Two, for Macau.
- [Yung-kang] You're on your way?
Pier Two, Macau.
[comical music]
[inhales deeply]
[chuckles awkwardly]
[exhales awkwardly]
If you weren't already dead,
I'd kill you myself.
But it still doesn't make any sense to me.
Wh... How could you know what I was saying
in the parking lot?
Oh, uh... never mind. Why are you here?
- [Hsiao-yuan] He followed me here.
- [both gasp]
[tense music]
Captain Chang.
Give up. You're outgunned.
[Ming-han gasps]
You're the mole?
[Tzu-ching screaming]
Idiot, we're on the same side.
- [Tzu-ching] Are you stupid?
- [phone ringing]
[Tzu-ching] It's me. The police
are raiding the warehouse today.
- Yeah. On my way.
- Make the delivery and get out.
[Tzu-ching] ...tell you about some...
[Tzu-ching] Otherwise,
my boss will be furious
and he'll probably kill me.
[voice echoing]
Probably kill me, probably...
[both] But you can't be!
A pretty face is a pretty good disguise.
I told you I wasn't helpless.
But I thought you were more eager
to catch him than I was.
If I wasn't eager,
you wouldn't have let me on this case.
You'd still have me pinning corsages
on idiots all day.
But, uh, I can't believe you'd do this.
Well, will you believe it if I shoot you?
[breathing heavily]
- Enough. Let's cut the crap!
- [Tzu-ching] Boss.
I've got this.
I'll keep these two here,
and kill them after you've left.
[tense music]
You're about to face
the police academy's 1992 Jiu-Jitsu champ.
[shouts, grunts]
[handcuffs click]
[Pang-yu in soft voice]
I'll follow her and see what she's up to.
I can make this right.
You don't need to be whispering!
Yeah, and you don't need to be shouting!
I owe this asshole
for killing me with his car.
Time for payback.
[tense music]
[Tzu-ching] Boss.
[Hsiao-yuan] Everything's been arranged.
Get rid of those two,
and get back to the precinct
like nothing happened.
When I reach my new location,
I'll contact you.
Take this.
Get rid of them cleanly, huh?
[Ming-han groaning]
Oh, fuck, the drug warehouse.
So it wasn't my fault what happened.
She was the one that tipped them off.
Hey, wait.
She's the one who told me
Lin Hsiao-yuan would be here.
Why would she do that?
[Hsiao-yuan screaming in distance]
[Ming-han] Huh?
[screaming in pain]
What the fuck are you doing?
[groans in pain]
Crazy bitch.
Where are you gonna go?
You thought I'd be grateful for this?
- You stupid man.
- God damn.
I've always looked after you, hmm?
- [scoffs]
- [Hsiao-yuan] You ungrateful bitch!
- I'll kill you myself!
- Looked after me?
- [Hsiao-yuan] And I'm gonna enjoy it!
- [grunts]
Do you know how I ended up on the streets?
[breathing heavily]
[dramatic music]
[Hsiao-yuan] I got the stuff.
Hey, you started without me, huh?
[music disrupts]
What happened?
[door closes]
- [dramatic music continues]
- [Tzu-ching] May 8th, 2000.
Sanchung Public Housing.
My mother overdosed
and died because of you.
- Can you be more specific?
- [music disrupts]
Oh, well.
I'll take all this money off your hands,
before the police come
and charge you with...
manufacturing drugs
and also a hit-and-run
that caused a death.
Ugh, so you're just after money too.
You're no better than me.
And no better than your mom.
Junkie scum.
- You fuckface!
- [groaning]
Of course that was for the money!
I was the one who got rid of the footage
of you killing someone with your car!
I was the one protecting you
all these years!
Just knowing you'd skip town one day
and I could take all this!
- And I've waited long enough!
- [screams]
[Hsiao-yuan breathing shakily]
[Tzu-ching] And my patience
was not in vain.
You know,
I had my suspicions.
Your tips often came late,
and cost us merchandise.
I can't believe you'd be so deceitful.
Oh, I'm just a pretty face.
- [chuckles]
- [melancholic music]
I'll make you suffer.
Unbelievable, this is like a soap opera.
It's so exciting!
Now, to avenge her mother's death,
Tzu-ching has set up Hsiao-yuan
and stolen all his money,
and she just nailed him to the wall.
I'm sorry, I know you don't understand.
To avenge your mother's death,
you set up Hsiao-yuan
so you could steal all his money,
and just now, you nailed him to the wall.
How do you know that?
It's simple, really.
You left too many clues.
- [playful music]
- [Tzu-ching gasps in disbelief]
[suitcase's wheels rattling]
And if you find you miss me when I'm gone...
you can watch
those stupid PR videos I made.
- [indistinct chatter]
- [footsteps approaching]
[all grunt]
[in scared voice]
Why did you take so long?
Go save Hsiao-yuan!
Hurry up, he's in the back!
Hey, you. Take this to Hsiao-yuan's car!
[henchman] Yes, ma'am!
[Ming-han sighs]
I'm pretty sure I told you.
There's more than meets the eye with her.
She sure got one over on all of you guys.
You were the one who said
the mole was Yung-kang!
Who the hell are you talking to, huh?
[sighs deeply]
- [Hsiao-yuan screaming]
- [henchman 1] What do we do?
[henchman 2]
What the hell happened to you?
- [henchmen clamoring]
- All right, cut it out.
[henchman 3] Boss, are you okay?
Uh, get the key, get the key.
[Ming-han] Get the key! The key!
[both grunting]
Hurry! Get it quickly!
[tense music]
Mao-mao! Possess somebody,
and use their body to get me the key!
- [Yung-kang] Get the key.
- [Ming-han grunts]
Which one should I possess?
They all look like they smell bad.
Ah, who cares if they smell bad?
This is life and death!
[keys jingle]
[both groan]
We meet again.
- [suspenseful music]
- [groaning]
Lin Hsiao-yuan.
Where's Lin Tzu-ching?
[Ming-han] Oh, well...
She's gone with your money.
[Ming-han] She played you for a fool.
And then use you as her back seat.
Fuck you!
[suspenseful music intensifies]
[shuddering continues]
[breathes sharply]
[comical music]
These guys are with us.
[henchman 1]
Are you sure about that, boss?
- [Ma Wei] Boss.
- [Hsiao-yuan] Huh?
Are... are you sure?
You're pretty smart after all.
[henchman 2] You all right, boss?
Wait, Lin Hsiao-yuan said we're with him?
[henchman 3] What?
Maybe you all work for me!
- [groans]
- [Yung-kang] Lin Hsiao-yuan is with us!
[Yung-kang laughing]
Ah! Then... then you guys are with us too!
- [Yung-kang laughing]
- [henchmen murmuring]
Police, don't move!
Get back!
[Hsiao-yuan] Hey, hey, hey, hey!
What do you think you're doing, huh?
Hey, hey, don't shoot, don't shoot.
[all gasp]
I killed someone!
What should I do, what should I do?
Oh, my God, I killed someone!
I killed someone!
[screams, whimpers]
[Chubby] You killed your own man!
- [surprised grunt]
- [henchmen gasp]
[dramatic guitar riff playing]
Boss? Boss.
[dramatic music]
["Bravo Lover" by Jolin Tsai playing]
Go, go, lover
[man groans]
Go, go, lover
[all clamoring, grunting]
You're my lover
You're my lover
[Pang-yu screams]
Go, go, sister
Go, go, brother
[disgusted groan]
Go, go, lover
You're my lover
You're my lover
You're my lover
Mao Pang-yu, stop possessing people,
you'll hurt yourself.
Go, go, brother
You're my lover-er-er-er-er
- [music stops]
- [coughing]
[grunts, panting]
[in weak voice]
I really can't possess anyone else.
Wu Ming-han.
[ominous music]
Behind you.
Get down!
Wu Ming-han!
Bang bang.
[slow heartbeats]
[in desperate voice]
Bang bang!
- [grunts]
- [thuds]
- [gunshot]
- [thuds]
Wu Ming-han!
Wu Ming-han! Wu Ming-han!
[tense music]
[ambulance siren wailing]
[car horns honking]
[Yung-kang] How's he?
[ambulance staff]
He's lost a lot of blood.
His blood pressure's dropping.
[worried sigh]
What is going on with this traffic?
Oh, no, it's a total gridlock!
[ambulance staff] We're losing him!
We need to get to the hospital
to remove the bullet!
[Pang-yu] Wu Ming-han...
I said, "Bang bang."
But you didn't move.
[slow heartbeats]
[in weak voice]
[breathes weakly] said it...
too freaking slowly.
- [Ming-han breathing softly, weakly]
- [emotional music]
- [Ming-han coughs]
- [sniffles]
Look, I may be dead...
but you will not be joining me.
[Pang-yu] I won't allow it!
I know you said...
dead people don't know each other.
But at least...
I got to know you in this life.
[sniffling, sobbing]
Hey, kid, who are you talking to?
- [heart monitor beeping rapidly]
- [Yung-kang] Ming-han! Ming-han!
[ambulance staff]
Sir, sir, can you hear me? Sir!
- Sir!
- [long beep]
[ambulance staff] Take over for me.
I'm starting CPR.
[Yung-kang] Wu Ming-han. Hang in there.
You're gonna be okay.
- Hang on. Hang on.
- [sobbing]
[dramatic music]
Are you stupid or something?
I can't...
- [chuckling, yelps]
- Oh, my God!
[hopeful music]
[ambulance siren wailing]
[ambulance staff 1] Drastic gunshot wound.
Patient is bleeding out.
He's gone into cardiac arrest.
[melancholic music]
[ambulance staff 2] Nurse!
Get this man to the OR right now!
We need to operate!
[heart monitor beeping]
- [breathing softly]
- [monitor beeping at normal pace]
[Yung-kang] Ming-han. Ming-han!
[soft chuckle]
You made it.
[Yung-kang] W-Wait there.
I'll get the doctor.
Mao... Mao Pang-yu.
Mao Pang-yu.
Where are you?
Mao Pang-yu.
[female anchor on TV]
A serious traffic incident...
[Ming-han] Mao Pang-yu.
Don't scare me.
Mao Pang-yu.
[female anchor] Drivers collectively
drove their cars into traffic barriers
when an ambulance needed to pass.
Several drivers claimed
to have blacked out during the incident,
and the road...
Mao Pang-yu.
Mao Pang-yu, come out this instant.
You're scaring me.
Where are you?
Mao Pang-yu, please show yourself.
Come out now.
[pensive music]
[Ming-han] Mao Pang-yu.
[breathing heavily]
Mao Pang...
Unbelievable, right?
Stay there.
I'll get some incense.
[Pang-yu] It's too late for that.
Just stay there and get some rest.
- [Mr. Mao] Oh, you're awake.
- [footsteps approaching]
[Mr. Mao sighs in relief]
Thank God. Thank God.
Your captain called me.
He said you... you found
the guy who killed my son,
and that you were badly injured
apprehending him.
- No, don't... don't move. Rest.
- [Ming-han grunting]
- [groans]
- [Mr. Mao] Thank you
for getting justice for Mao-mao.
I would like to think
he would also thank you from heaven.
[Ming-han] Mr. Mao...
[breathing weakly]
I know...
that you had a big fight with Mao-mao
before he died.
And at the hospital,
you probably didn't get to see him
one last time.
- [breathes deeply]
- What if you did get to see him?
What do you think you'd say to him?
It's too late for that.
And me, what would I say?
Trust me.
Mao Pang-yu is here.
[emotional music]
He can hear you.
[exhales deeply]
If I...
really had a chance to talk to him,
well, I'd say...
that I'm sorry,
and that I know...
that I was the one that got him killed.
It was my fault.
[Granny] You disowned your own son?
Mao-mao is gifted and kind-hearted.
He truly cares for the world we live in.
So what if he likes boys?
I will never agree
with such an unnatural thing!
How could you say something like that?
[Granny] You know, I defended you.
I told Mao-mao,
"Your father may be impatient
and bad-tempered,
but the truth is, he loves you."
[staff] Hi, sir, what would you like?
- Uh, two oyster omelets, please.
- [staff] Okay.
- No need for containers. Here.
- [staff] Great.
[pensive music]
- Actually, three orders.
- Sure, no problem.
- [elevator dings]
- [elevator doors opening]
[both breathing heavily]
[both chuckling]
- [Chia-hao] Come on.
- [door handle rattles]
You sure it's okay?
What if Mao-mao comes back?
- [smooches]
- [Chia-hao] Don't worry.
No one can stop us.
[Pang-yu] Pa.
I've been wanting to tell you
for quite a while, that, um...
Chia-hao and I wanna get married.
- And I was hoping you...
- [Mr. Mao] You will not be marrying him.
I won't agree to any of this nonsense.
[Pang-yu] Pa,
I'm not finished telling you...
Yes, you are!
[breathing angrily]
It took a lot for me to find the courage
to tell you this.
[Granny] Are you listening to your son?
[sighs deeply]
Well, I can't stop you, but...
if you marry him,
knowing how I feel about it,
you will lose your father!
[Mr. Mao slurping]
- [sighs deeply]
- Hey.
- [Granny] Where are you going?
- [door opens]
- You haven't finished your dinner.
- [door slams]
[Mr. Mao] I should have been honest
with him that day.
I just didn't wanna see him hurt.
I couldn't bring myself to say
what I saw that day.
- [sobbing]
- [Mr. Mao breathes deeply]
How could I know I'd never see him again?
- [sighs]
- [Pang-yu breathing shakily]
After he died,
I was angry.
I went and punched that boyfriend.
[Mr. Mao] However,
I quickly regretted it.
Days later, I went and saw him again.
All I wanted was, uh...
to ask him if he might know
the passcode to Mao-mao's phone.
I was just hoping to find new clues.
I'm sorry.
I was... angry.
I apologize for hitting you.
I'm almost 60.
And I have never begged before, but...
Look, Mr. Mao...
I really don't know his passcode.
I know you're mad,
but I beg of you, please forgive me.
How about this?
I will wait...
out by the door.
[Chia-hao] Mr. Mao.
You want the best for your son,
but there's nothing you can do
to bring Mao-mao back.
- Oh, please, I'm begging you...
- [Chia-hao sighs]
You're just doing this
because you're feeling guilty, okay?
Just leave me alone!
[Mr. Mao sobbing]
[sobbing continues]
[Mr. Mao]
I didn't expect to see you outside.
[Ming-han] Uh... Mr. Mao.
[Mr. Mao] And yet
you did get justice for Mao-mao.
I never thought
I'd say these words.
I never thought I'd get the chance.
[Mr. Mao] Thank you.
[Pang-yu sobbing]
If Mao-mao had met someone like you
while he was still alive,
I think he'd have been so happy.
[Pang-yu and Mr. Mao sobbing]
Do you think now you would attend
this ghost wedding?
I would.
I wouldn't miss it for anything.
[soft harmonious music]
heard everything you said.
[Ming-han] He... he wants me to tell you...
...he knows that when you go out...
[soft music]
...that you'd take
your own containers and chopsticks.
And he's proud of you.
Mao-mao also wants to apologize...
for causing you so much worry.
he said...
thank you for showing him
unconditional love.
And he wants to come back...
as your son again.
My sons.
[soft chuckle]
Now you can reincarnate.
[music fades]
[gentle music]
[mouse clicks]
Oh, oh, here he is.
- Oh, hi!
- Hi!
- Ming-han, it's Grandma.
- [Ming-han] Oh. Hey.
Grandma, how are you going?
- I've been great, so yeah.
- [women chuckling]
Oh, oh, oh.
- Hey, Grumpy Pants. Look!
- [Ming-han] Hmm?
- [woman 1 chuckles]
- [Granny] Say hello to your son-in-law.
[Ming-han] Uh... Hello, Pa.
[Granny chuckling]
[Granny] Still got the sniffles?
A terrible cold?
Did you not drink the bone broth?
- [Ming-han] Oh, yeah, I... I drank it.
- Ooh, it's here!
- Let's go.
- [woman 2] The Uber is here.
Anyway, I'll see you again tomorrow.
- [Ming-han] Oh. Okay. Yeah.
- [call disconnects]
[Junior Mao whining]
[soft bright music]
["Untitled" by Jolin Tsai playing]