Matrimoni e altri disastri (2010) Movie Script

That's me, the one who's crying.
My name is Nana and I'm not
really crying, I'm overcome.
See those twwo at the altar ?
Of course you do.
My little sister, Beatrice,
and Alessandro.
..before God to ceIebrate
your union...
I'm what's euphemistically called
''a single woman''.
In other words, a spinster.
Anywway, I'm misty-eyed
because the kid I tutored in Latin
is getting married.
My sister, lucky her,
had plenty of men.:
tall, short, dark, blond,
rich, poor, Italian and foreign.
Younger, older...
All of them nuts about her !
I've only had twwo.
Both of the them were nuts,
but not about me.
The first was in high school.
We managed to make out
a few times and then it was over.
My other relationship was serious,
it lasted 10 years.
Then Paolo, the man in question,
told me he wanted
to change his life radically.
From that moment on,
my love life was put on hold.
But to explain
why I'm here right now,
we have to go back
a month or so.
MarceI, sweetie, I had a dream.
I'd better go write it down
or I'II forget.
The Iast time I made Iove
was 985 days ago.
Fuck !
Good morning.
I'II heIp the Iady.
Good morning.
Good morning. I don't know
what's wrong, it's stone dead.
Tried pIugging it in ?
I'm not stupid !
Because Iast time...
- I'II caII you when it's ready.
- Okay, when wiII it be ready ?
Okay. Thanks.
- But caII me when it's ready.
- Okay. WiII you Ieave the bag ?
- Why ?
- To protect your Iaptop.
AII right. Thanks very much !
Good morning !
On Fridays, I have a set
lunch date with my family.
For some reason,
my parent's home suffocates me.
That guy sleeping peacefully
is my father.
Hard to believe he terrorized
generations of students
who hated, loved,
feared and respected him.
But nobody loved
and hated him quite like me.
Dad !
- Has everyone Ieft aIready ?
- We haven't even eaten yet.
I was up Iate Iast night.
It's the Estates-GeneraI.
A revoIution !
That moron engaged to your sister
has convinced everyone that we need
to become big producers.
Watch out !
Never impIy that you went
to ask for something.
We're Iate, mom'II be Iivid.
Another thorn
in my drab life.: my mother.
The beautifuI Iady
at the head of the tabIe.
Yes, she's better looking, slimmer,
more elegant and relaxed than me.
She's perfect, she can do it all.
I suspect that her perfection
has ruined my life.
No, I'm certain of it.
She used to be an actress,
but now she's busy with our winery.
Bea, have you spoken to Bauer ?
Why ?
We've asked him
to do a reading at the winery.
For the Girondino 2003 Iaunch.
I introduced you to him.
I couId've asked him !
- What a drag !
- Me ?
No ! Bauer...
He made a big deaI out of it !
He's an award-winning writer !
You're Iucky he's coming !
We shouId've invited Wayne Newton.
- Wayne Newton ?
- He has fans...
- Not eating ?
- I'm not hungry.
- Don't you feeI weII ?
- I'm fine, thanks.
AIessandro and I
are caIIing off the wedding.
But you fixed a date !
What's going on ?
I'II be away for a month.
He can't organize everything
on his own, poor thing.
- No time to organize the wedding ?
- UnbeIievabIe, huh ?
So what ? Get married when you return,
if you stiII want to, right ?
That's fine, isn't it ?
I have to go to the States,
I have to finaIize the scheduIe
with the importers.
- By Jove, how serious !
- Not a Iaughing matter.
It is, they're caIIing off a wedding
because of a scheduIe...
ReaIIy ? Laugh then.
- Excuse her, she's very tired.
- Okay...
Beatrice canceIIed her wedding
and you're off to pIay cards ?
- You couId organize it !
- Me ? No.
Just hearing the word ''wedding''
makes me tense.
- I'd be hopeIess.
- No, you'd be perfect !
You've got pIenty of time.
- What do you mean ?
- Nothing, I just said...
That I don't do shit aII day Iong ?
The bookshop and the tutoriaIs
are just buIIshit, right ?
I don't earn much
so it's not reaI work.
- Excuse me.
- Where are you going, sweetie ?
To teII Bea I can't heIp her out.
Uncle Duccio is a bachelor.
He went to school with dad
and was mom's theatrical agent.
We call him uncle, but he's not.
Nobody knows about his interaction
with the opposite sex,
this secrecy has led to rumors
that he's homosexual.
I've alwways thought
he wasn't interested either way.
AIessandro's the best thing
in my Iife.
With aII that's going on,
I'm scared of Iosing him.
You won't Iose him, I'II heIp you !
- ReaIIy ?
- Yes.
- You'II handIe the wedding ? Thanks !
- Did I say that ?
Sorry, I wanted to taIk to you
but it can wait.
No, darIing !
I've got some great news.
- Nana's handIing the wedding !
- ReaIIy ?
I didn't actuaIIy offer...
We're getting married in a month !
- Great news !
- AII I need is the bridaI registry...
..the favors, the catering...
not much stuff.
I'm such an idiot !
You couId do it together.
What ? Me and him ?
It'II be faster. Right, honey ?
WeII, it sounds doabIe...
- Is it a probIem for you ?
- ProbIems are for soIving !
What a great idea I had !
Thanks, sweetie.
Let's teII mom, she
was reaIIy upset.
Oh dear,
what an idiot...
Hi mom, hi Nana.
Leo ! What are you doing here ?
You shouId be in schooI !
No, I'm not David CopperfieId !
There's a strike.
- What for ?
- Dunno. Fascists, trade unionists...
..Communists, teachers.
Who knows !
No one wants to work
in this country.
- I can't come to tonight's tutoriaI.
- What ?
- Why not ?
- Beck's pIaying.
- Who ?
- Beck !
''Modern GuiIt'', CaIifornia,
indie rock. Never mind...
See you Iater or tomorrow.
- Who knows...
- Leo !
Fasten your heImet,
damn you !
Sometimes I wonder
what I'd do without him.
Some women my age
are totaIIy aIone,
they don't even have kids.
I'd be reaIIy depressed !
In fact, I'II probabIy kiII myseIf
around 5:30.
- You'II have to sub for me !
- Sorry !
- It's okay, don't worry.
- I'm sorry, what a bIabbermouth...
- No probIem.
- Sorry.
- But you're not a normaI woman !
- Thanks !
I mean you're a woman
who's made different choices.
Don't worry,
it reaIIy isn't a probIem !
Let's put the books in order.
Look, it's the new cover
for Bauer's book.
Nice, huh ?
- My dear...
- Oh God.
See ?
For those of you who don't know,
this is Sergio Bauer.:
novelist, poet and worker.
He even played chess
with Subcomandante Marcos
in a game that lasted four days.
I attended his fascinating
creative writing course
and was struck by the character
of this scholarly man.
I'm doing research
for his next book.
There's just one snag.:
when he talks, I lose all ability
to reason for myself.
I'm spellbound. It doesn't help
our working relationship.
I saved you a pIace.
What happened to you ?
You vanished.
- Why are you Iate ?
- Take off those gIasses.
- Can you sign this ? Benedetta.
- LoveIy Benedetta.
Oh dear !
He's got great Iegs too !
- Go !
- Give me a second.
I'd Iike to give you some of my poems.
You shouId onIy write one book
in your Iife.
Inspiration soon dries up.
But you...
Now everyone wants to write,
paint, and make fiIms.
And poets...
we're under siege by poets !
Under siege !
- Now excuse me, I have to go.
- Sure.
Sorry for the rant,
but it's a reaIIy bad moment.
- I'd sooner shoot myseIf.
- No, no !
I wouIdn't ruIe it out.
If I don't die first...
Giovanna, you were going to give me
some of your stuff to read !
Yes, but it's just scribbIe !
I'm nearly at the station
and my train leaves in 10 minutes.
Send it via e-mail and I'll read it.
We'll discuss it, okay ?
Okay, but my computer's down,
can I post it to you ?
Oh God.
Come here sweetie,
mommy hasn't abandoned you.
- What about the concert ?
- What a stink ! Is it you ?
I'II go change.
Get the books and we can study.
- What a drag !
- Hi Nana !
- You buy cookies ?
- I didn't have time.
- Anyway, the store's downstairs.
- So you go Iater ?
I go get some rest.
Another of life's little presents.:
Sven Kullberg.
A so-called Dogma director
who's never even held a camera.
He eats nonstop and has developed
an obsession with Oprah.
So, what's on the agenda ?
- This poem by thingummy...
- Thingummy ?
- Leopardi.
- Oh Leopardi, ''To SiIvia''.
- Go ahead, read it.
- Me ?
Then we'II understand
if you understand.
- I don't understand.
- Go on, read.
''SiIvia, do you remember
the moments in your mortaI Iife,
when beauty stiII shone
in your sideIong, Iaughing eyes,
and you, Iight and thoughtfuI,
went beyond girIhood's Iimits ?''
A cinch: SiIvia was a babe
when she was young.
Go ahead.
''The quiet rooms and streets
sounded to your endIess singing,
when you sat, intent on woman's work,
the vague future,
arriving aIive in your mind.
It was the scented May,
that's how you spent your day.''
This is harder to get.
This SiIvia chick was aIways singing,
but what's ''woman's work'' ?
- Were you crying ?
- Don't be siIIy !
Because I said
you stank of garbage ?
No !
Sorry, I was Iooking for Giovanna.
- No Giovanna here.
- Nana ?
Nana sure, come in.
- Friend of Nana ?
- Her sister's husband.
- WeII, not yet...
- No matter, I no jeaIous.
- I don't understand.
- Nothing.
Joke !
Nana, young man say
he's your sister's husband.
You opened the door Iike that ?
He's staying here a whiIe.
He's a Swedish fiImmaker.
Let's go, it's Iate.
Listen, that director, the bum,
the idiot...
- What does that whistIe mean ?
- Is he your boyfriend ?
I'm gIad I make you Iaugh.
''Boyfriend'' isn't part
of my vocabuIary.
So the rumors are true !
- What rumors ?
- You're a Iay nun who never Iays.
Who's been saying that ?
No one. WeII, everyone.
WeII, teII everyone
that it's not true.
So you're dating.
Don't worry, I won't teII a souI.
- He Iooks Iike your type !
- Oh God, shaII we go in ?
- This one with the siIver rose ?
- It's not up to me.
- Do you Iike it or not ?
- No.
- The Swarowski fIower ?
- Not my styIe.
- This sIeeping hippo ?
- Atrocious.
What's this ?
- Capodimonte Cherub.
- PIease !
- It's eIegant.
- Oh God...
I don't Iike anything here.
I'II go Iook over there.
Good morning.
- Your wife's hard to pIease.
- She's my mother.
- Sorry !
- Don't worry, it was a compIiment.
She doesn't Iook her age,
peopIe think she's my sister.
She's gone to... excuse me.
May I see the Fair Trade
wedding favors ?
CertainIy, we have
African and Asian handicrafts,
but it's very cheap stuff.
- Perfect, may I see them ?
- Right away.
We don't have many.
PeopIe don't come here
for this kind of thing.
PeopIe of coIor Iike this stuff.
Africans, FiIipinos, peopIe Iike that.
''PeopIe Iike that''
usuaIIy have good taste.
- These are very nice !
- Orphans make them.
- In Africa.
- I Iike them.
ShouIdn't we ask
your son's opinion ?
- Who ?
- Your son. Sorry, he toId me.
I thought you were his wife,
or his sister...
you certainIy don't Iook your age.
- WeII, I mean...
- Thanks, don't worry.
So, shaII we ask your son ?
No, I think my son wiII Iove these.
He trusts me.
There's no one Iike mom, huh ?
CertainIy !
- What a drag !
- AII taken care of.
- What did you choose ?
- It's a surprise, you'II Iove it !
Watch out ! Dickhead !
He had the right of way !
- Tough shit ! I'm taking this Iane !
- It's the reserved Iane !
Reserved for me !
I'II come Wednesday
because I promised Bea, but...
I don't get this bridaI registry.
Why teII others what to buy you ?
It's tacky.
It's worse if you end up
with 2 microwaves and 3 bIenders.
- It's more practicaI.
- How sad.
Maybe you don't reaIize,
but it saves a Iot of money.
I'd have made a donation to Emergency
or Doctors Without Borders.
You onIy get married once,
you have to go whoIe hog !
Forget it.
Besides, that Emergency guy
pisses me off.
He's incredibIe !
He dedicates his Iife to others.
Sure, but he pisses me off.
Why can't he just be a doctor ?
AIways protesting, preaching,
asking for money...
I hear he has a ranch
in Afghanistan !
- What are you saying ?
- Just that.
You just say the first thing
that comes into your head.
I'm appaIIed,
what kind of person are you ?
- Can't I have an opinion of my own ?
- Sure.
I just don't understand
what my sister sees in you.
What about Wednesday ?
I'm busy,
handIe the bridaI registry yourseIf.
He's brother-in-Iaw
of your sister ?
No, he's my brother-in-Iaw
and my sister's fiance.
I thought he was your fiance.
I know I'm a bit over hiII,
but even at 20, I wouIdn't
have given him a second thought.
He's a buIIy, arrogant
and pig ignorant.
He's an asshoIe !
But... he's cute asshoIe !
MarceI, thank goodness for you !
- Hello ?
- It's Bea. Everything okay ?
Yes, fine...
We chose the wedding favors.
Great, don't teII me what they are,
I trust you.
So you're getting aIong ?
Yes, I suppose so.
Listen, can he do
the bridaI registry himseIf ?
- No, promise you'II go with him !
- Okay, I promise.
He's so cute !
Women are aIways buzzing around him.
- Are you jeaIous ?
- It's better to keep an eye on him.
Maybe, but nothing's happened,
at Ieast not...
- What ?
- Nothing !
I was just saying,
nothing happened.
- Perfect, thanks.
- Who are you taIking to ?
- With the waiter ?
- In ItaIian ?
I have to go,
I'II caII you from Los AngeIes.
Wait, I have to teII you something.
I can't...
- IncredibIe !
- What ?
The Iine on this pIate
is the same coIor as your eyes !
What coIor is it ?
- A shade of purpIe.
- I'd say indigo.
With a hint of periwinkIe bIue.
- Are you a painter ?
- No, he's a wine-seIIer.
Good morning.
- My sister-in-Iaw.
- Don't jump the gun.
You've chosen these ?
From the Richard Ginori coIIection.
My great-grandmother
had china Iike this.
What coIor is this Iine, paIe bIue ?
It's a bit insipid.
What eIse do you have ?
Aren't you against bridaI registries ?
I'm here for my sister.
I'd prefer something more modern.
It's my sister's wedding,
not the Infanta of Spain's !
We were in there for an hour
and you didn't Iike anything.
You wanted a crystaI saIt shaker
or aIabaster pepper miII ?
I wanted to do the bridaI registry
but I wasted a day !
- I handIed it, don't worry.
- What ?
- The bridaI registry.
- Oh yeah ?
PIasma TV, microwave, juicer ?
- No ! Then what ?
- Doctors Without Borders.
- Doctors Without Borders ?
- You don't Iike Emergency...
- WeII, you can teII your sister.
- I did and she agreed.
She didn't mention it yesterday,
I'II caII her.
No, it's the dead of the night in LA !
I'II caII her anyway !
Wait, we have to organize
the next few days.
I have to go,
we can taIk in the car.
Good, I need a Iift.
Shit !
80 euros !
- I work aII day !
- What about that sign ?
- There's the bastard !
- What are you going to do ?
- Watch this. Excuse me !
- Why are you going...
- Yes ?
- Good morning. Did you do this ?
Yes, why ?
I wanted to congratuIate you.
At Ieast someone does
their job properIy in this country.
- What's your name ?
- Why ?
I know peopIe in high pIaces,
I'II put in a good word for you.
I didn't actuaIIy want to do it,
parking's tough here.
If I'm not mistaken,
it was that Iady
who asked me to do it.
I think.
ShaII we go ? Come on...
Did you see him ?
He was totaIIy confused.
He was ready to annuI the ticket,
imagine that !
You nearIy got me. You can be
a reaI bitch when you want to !
In a good way !
You Iook Iike a saint, but you're...
- I'm ?
- You're...
Shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...
- Doesn't matter...
- What an awfuI way to find out.
I aIready knew.
And you accept it ?
You're so modern !
- I don't know if I'd be abIe to.
- I'm not dating that guy.
I just said it to shut you up.
- Weird.
- The first normaI thing he's done.
No, it's weird that a woman Iike you
doesn't have someone speciaI.
Can we skip the debate for once ?
I don't want to know
what ''a woman Iike you'' means.
- Sorry about the parking ticket.
- It's okay, the car's a perk.
- Huh ?
- Your parents pay the fines.
You son of a bitch !
- Bye, gorgeous.
- Bye, handsome.
Benedetta !
Sorry, I dropped the phone.
What's that noise ?
Are you at a cIub ?
No, it's Leo.
Hang on.
Cut it out, I'm on the phone.
I can't hear a thing !
I Iive here too !
I wanted to remind you
about dinner at Chiara's.
Is it tonight ? Wasn't it...
- What do you have to do ?
- Look, I thought... okay.
- Will you come pick me up ?
- In 30 minutes.
- Can't we make it Iater ?
- 40 minutes ?
Okay, bye.
Fucking heII !
Good evening...
Nana, he's here.
- Who ?
- Andreini !
- Who's he ?
- He designed the new courthouse.
- So it's his fauIt !
- 50 years oId, divorced...
Chiara must've caIIed him for me.
You're Iooking great !
I'm gIad you're here.
Dinner is served !
Renato, this is Nana DeI Treppo.
Renato Andreini.
- Nice to meet you.
- Benedetta, nice to meet you.
Renato sits here, and Nana here.
- What about me ?
- Down there, with Gianmaria.
- I sit here...
- Let me.
FinaIIy, Chiara's chewed
my ear off about you !
The famous Nana !
and squanderer of fortunes.
- Excuse me ?
- I'm referring to ZoIa's creation !
Is Bea reaIIy marrying BeI Ami ?
Enzo, don't be a gossip !
Yes, in a month's time.
- AIessandro's not so bad.
- Sure.
- BeI Ami's a nice guy too.
- EspeciaIIy with women !
I've onIy met him a coupIe of times.
I don't want to pass judgment,
but he's not Bea's type.
- She's a very refined girI.
- Who is he ?
- What's his background ?
- I don't know.
They met at university.
He was my student,
he was so nervy at the finaI exam.
I gave him a C
just to get rid of him !
I must confess
that I'm a fan of your mother's.
A great actress !
An incredibIy beautifuI woman.
Yes, but she's aged a bit IateIy !
She gave up acting
when you were born.
That's not my fauIt !
Perish the thought !
What do you do ?
I have a smaII bookshop.
I run it with Benedetta, my friend.
She's a wonderfuI person.
You shouId get to know her,
I'II introduce you properIy.
Sure, but it was more than enough
to meet you this evening.
- Thanks for coming.
- Thank you.
- See you soon, bye.
- Goodbye.
- Bye, Nana.
- Goodnight.
What a headache,
why did I drink so much ?
That's why you were taIking buIIshit !
Like when you said my ex-husband
tried to kiII himseIf.
- It was me !
- It sounded better.
He onIy spoke to me
to ask about you.
Didn't you notice ?
- What ?
- He's got horribIe breath !
Nobody's perfect !
What is it ?
I can't stand being aIone any more.
I'd even put up with haIitosis !
Even a guy with dentures,
dandruff, a prostate !
Oh God, it's stopped.
The door won't open,
I'm suffocating !
- HeIp me !
- Nana ?
- Someone heIp me !
- It's the other door !
- Promise you won't teII anyone ?
- Sure.
My God.
AII men have a prostate,
it's not an iIIness.
ReaIIy ?
HeIIo ?
Wake up, it's a lovely day.:
22, 77% humidity.
- A light north-westerly breeze.
- AIessandro ?
Yes dear sister-in-Iaw, it's me.
The man who's about to make
aII women despair,
aII except the chosen one !
Are you drunk ?
At 7:00 in the morning ?
No, but great idea !
7:00 ? It's reaIIy earIy !
For Communist Iayabouts Iike you,
but money never sIeeps !
Bring Bea's papers
to city haII at 8:30.
- What a drag !
- Wake up !
- Pain in the ass !
- What ?
Nothing. Why are you panting
Iike a maniac ?
Jogging !
Getting in shape for the big day.
You shouId try it,
you don't Iook very toned !
- Fuck off !
- Thanks ! See you Iater.
- Good morning.
- My sister-in-Iaw's aIways Iate.
I've been here 10 minutes,
I'm a busy man.
Be thankfuI that I came !
If you'd toId me yesterday,
you'd have saved me the bother.
- I missed you.
- I didn't miss you !
Fine, everything's set
for the wedding promise.
Thank you.
Why not a civiI marriage ?
When were you Iast in church ?
- 15 years ago.
- When did you Iast confess ?
At my Confirmation.
Like aII good CathoIics,
no sex before marriage...
Is this the Inquisition ?
Aren't you an atheist ?
- So what ?
- You sound Iike a fundamentaIist.
These sins are forgivabIe.
I'm serious, aren't you being
a bit hypocriticaI ?
I get it: it's aII part of the fun !
I'm doing it for your sister,
I couIdn't care Iess.
- The CathoIic ceremony's nice.
- Yes, indeed it is.
I have to go. Bye.
Nana !
I'II come pick you up to go see
those gypsies for the reception.
KIezmorim: they're Yiddish,
not gypsies. Bye.
I don't understand
this inventory thing...
I just undergo it.
- Leo did weII on his ItaIian exam.
- ReaIIy ?
- Leopardi was the topic.
- We worked on it together.
Smartass ! He toId me
he'd done it aII by himseIf.
Good evening.
- How's it going ?
- Fine, thanks.
No, it's okay.
I was just passing by and I thought
I'd drop in to see
the famous Nana's bookshop !
- It's wonderfuI.
- Thanks.
I expected nothing Iess.
PIaces refIect the peopIe
who occupy them.
Were you Iooking for something
in particuIar.
Yes, you.
There's a great
Indian restaurant nearby.
FeeI Iike having dinner with me ?
Thanks, but I've been having
stomach troubIe.
And I'm aIIergic to the spices !
Lucky they spIit up then !
The Spice GirIs... spices...
How about a movie ?
Tripe and beans at ''Nerbone'',
I aIready booked !
Hurry up, they'II scratch my car !
My brother-in-Iaw, I forgot !
Maybe some other time !
Hi there.
Your God took aII the best quaIities
and didn't Ieave any
for his devotees.
Here's another one:
why do Jews pIay the vioIin ?
- Dunno.
- Try fIeeing with a piano !
What a drag ! ShaII we go ?
I'm gonna cry !
Let's book them for my funeraI
so I won't hear them.
- You Iike them ?
- Yes.
- Come on.
- What ?
Dance. Don't aIways say no.
- WiII you say something ?
- I don't want to study.
I want to get a job.
- What do you want to do ?
- Whatever.
You have to go out
and Iook for jobs.
Have you taken a Iook around ?
Who cares, besides...
Besides what ?
These books are reaIIy boring
and no fucking use to me.
- Don't taIk Iike that here !
- They're useIess, pointIess.
So, peopIe Iike me
are just wasting their Iives ?
- I didn't mean you.
- Yes you did !
Have the guts to teII me
what you think.
- I wiII, if you want.
- Yes.
You taIk a Iot, but you haven't
done anything with your Iife.
If you had, you wouIdn't
waste time giving tutoriaIs.
- There, I've said it.
- Fine, then Ieave.
There's nothing Ieft to say.
You know something ?
You've disappointed me.
I've disappointed you ?
When beauty stiII shone
in your sideIong, Iaughing eyes
- Don't you Iike it ?
- They're IoveIy singers.
But they can't act,
he can't pIay Cavaradossi.
He Iooks Iike RigoIetto !
- A mint ?
- No thanks, gives me heartburn.
Who's that idiot ?
He took me to dinner and taIked
about his ex-wife the whoIe time.
- I don't think he Iikes me.
- Sure he does !
Nana !
I had to transIate aII of ''Tosca'',
I was dying !
- Benedetta, AIessandro.
- What about us ?
Chiara, her husband Enzo
and Renato Andreini.
We've aIready met.
Come have a drink with us !
- You can't, you have the Americans.
- Yes, just give me a second.
- He's nice !
- It's his strongpoint.
He's cute !
He Iooks famiIiar too.
I've freed myseIf from the doIIar !
The sheriff Iooks annoyed !
So what ?
I can't work 24 hours a day.
- ShaII we go ?
- Yes.
I don't get opera,
I must be ignorant.
Another drink ?
- No, thanks.
- White martini.
I know that they express feeIings
through song,
but they use song
to ask the time too !
It's true.
- It's difficuIt to stay serious.
- That's aIways been your probIem.
True, tonight I had to make
quite an effort !
WouId you cIose
the opera houses down ?
No, why ?
He's part of the TV generation,
it's pointIess.
I'm being frank.
It's obvious from your parIance.
Wow, I didn't know I had a parIance.
Listen, have you done any TV ?
Yes, but nothing important.
Now I remember !
You did that cookware infomerciaI.
OnIy for a few months.
- How can you remember that ?
- I'm nuts about infomerciaIs !
Did you have a fIing
with that girI with the big tits ?
No, it was a put-on.
Have you put this important
experience on your resume ?
No, but I shouId.
I soId 32,000 cookware sets.
Bet you have a set at home.
Not bad for a 25 year-oId, huh ?
I was a university professor at 25.
Must've been fun !
ReckIess youth.
It's Iate.
I have to get up earIy
to expiate some past wrongs.
- See you tomorrow. Have a nice night.
- Bye.
It's not the ignorance
but the arrogance.
- You're mean. He's just young !
- Wait a few years and see.
I'm going home, I'm tired.
Stay, we'II give you a ride home.
Thanks, but I am quite tired.
- Fresh air wiII do me good. Bye.
- Bye.
Press one, press two, press three...
I'II press your face, idiot !
- TeII me the truth, was it you ?
- What ?
They towed away my car,
but it was parked properIy.
- They onIy took mine !
- Look ? DipIomatic Corps.
Nuts to dipIomacy !
How about we share a cab ?
''Tosca'', the car, the Texans,
your friends...
aII that was missing
was a kick in the baIIs !
They're were reaIIy nasty, I'm sorry.
I taIked a Ioad of buII too.
I never knew about the cookware...
It was a great job.
I was good at it and I earned pIenty.
- I can beIieve it.
- I was deadIocked at university.
I wanted to quit.
Then I met Bea
and she changed my Iife.
I graduated in a year
and found a job I Iove.
I couIdn't beIieve it
when they hired me.
I taIked to Duccio for an hour,
thinking he was your dad.
Duccio ? How couId you think that ?
- I was reaIIy off my head.
- Yes.
- Nana, can I show you something ?
- What ?
It's a surprise. Trust me.
- Come on.
- But it's reaIIy dark here.
I'm scared of the dark !
- It's wonderfuI !
- This is the parIour.
I mean the Iiving room.
- Bea hates furniture.
- Yes, the opposite of me.
- And this ?
- The kids' room.
- How many kids ?
- I'd Iike 3 or 4 thousand...
Your sister just wants one.
She says big famiIies
cause more suffering.
- ReaIIy ?
- Yes, I don't know why.
She says that famiIy
is the Iair of unhappiness.
- I disagree.
- She's got a point...
But I'm surprised she said that.
- Do you Iike it or not ?
- Yes, very much.
There's room
for Aunty Nana's bed too !
A kind thought.
ShaII we go ?
Are you offended
because I said ''aunt'' ?
It's objective: if your sister
becomes a mom, you'II be an aunt...
Stop, I don't want to drive up
to the sacristy.
What a drag !
Cars are meant to get you pIaces.
- We might as weII have come by bus !
- Come on, Iet's waIk.
Didn't you aIready taIk
to the priest ?
I have to finaIize some stuff
and I want to introduce you !
Let's be quick about it,
priests make me nervous.
Geez, there's aIways something.
It's understandabIe
after your fiance...
What do you know about it ?
- Good morning, Fr. ItaIo !
- Who are you ?
AIessandro Briganti,
Beatrice DeI Treppo's fiance.
Yes, of course !
Dear Beatrice,
we finaIIy get to meet.
- About time !
- She's aIways busy with work.
- But here we are.
- At Ieast one proper meeting !
Let's go !
- I don't want to !
- It'II be a Iaugh, come on.
- Where are you going ?
- Home !
- Come on, or he won't marry us.
- Are you nuts ?
- You're not marrying me !
- He's gaga, he won't notice.
We're waiting for you !
We couIdn't find the BibIe.
- WeII, Iet's carry on.
- You'II pay for this.
He's funny and nice,
but I don't Iove him.
I came to ItaIy
and she came too.
I've aIways Ioved her.
I want to marry her
before she changes her mind.
PIease, be serious !
Let's hear from
AIessandro and Beatrice,
who've come to see us ''in extremis''
since they're getting married
next week.
TeII us how you determined
to take this important step.
- Do you want to do it ?
- No, you do it.
Where do I start...
First of aII, you shouId know
that I'm a very Iucky man.
I was wasting
the best years of my Iife.
Then I eventuaIIy met her.
It was Iike Iight
pouring into a dark room.
That Iight was Iove.
Since then, my Iife's gained momentum.
Thanks to her I've graduated
and found a job.
Now I'm reaIizing this dream.
It's so incredibIe
that when I wake up
I'm scared it'II vanish.
You shouId know that...
I was orphaned at the age of seven.
Both parents died.
I was in boarding schooI
untiI I was 18,
then I came here to Iive with
an aunt and uncIe.
Both wonderfuI peopIe.
But I knew that I'd onIy be happy
with a famiIy of my own.
The one I'm buiIding with her
right now.
Next week we'II Iay down
the first foundations of this home.
I'm the happiest man in the worId.
Because I know
I won't be aIone any Ionger.
WeII said !
Goodness gracious,
you've got guts !
How do manage to think them up ?
- WeII done !
- Did I go overboard ?
It was Iike OIiver Twist: orphan,
boarding schooI, uncIe and aunt...
IncredibIe, right ?
HeIIo ? Bea my Iove,
where are you ?
Where ? Okay, I'm coming. Bye.
Her fIight got in earIy.
MiIena, AnseImo,
wiII you heIp me with the Iuggage ?
- We'II put them in the cIoakroom.
- My bag too !
Honey !
- Look who's here !
- Big sis !
- Not that big !
- Sorry.
- How did it go with him ?
- Fine.
- I didn't think he'd be so IikabIe.
- Why not ?
I had a different impression of him.
- Isn't he cuddIy ?
- FrankIy, I wouIdn't know.
Do you think...
- You think I'd...
- TeII me your impressions.
I don't know. He never stood me up.
He never rushed off
or received suspicious caIIs.
If he's got another woman,
he must keep her in a cave. Okay ?
Thanks !
- How about a three-way ?
- No, you're aII mine.
- I'II go say hi to dad.
- He's at the cIub for the finaIs.
- I'II drop by there.
- Coming to my fitting tomorrow ?
- No.
- What do you mean ?
I'II think about it
and Iet you know.
Hi, Nana !
Look, I won the ham !
- With PippareIIi !
- Nice to meet you.
Everything okay
with the wedding of the century ?
You were very kind to your sister.
I doubt she'd have done the same.
Why ?
She's a smart cookie,
but a bit seIfish.
Like your mom.
How about the man-chiId ?
I think that he and Bea
wiII be very happy together.
They're weII suited.
Like you and mom.
You're wonderfuI,
you onIy see the good stuff.
- Don't treat me Iike an idiot !
- On the contrary.
EviI doesn't exist in nature,
we create it.
- Who said so ?
- Saint Augustine !
As you can see,
I put you in good company.
Tomorrow at GoIden View, 16:30.
What's up ?
- What are you doing here ?
- I forgot a book.
I gave it to your mom.
I thought you didn't need to study !
- What did you put in there ?
- Something for you ?
- What ?
- Thanks for coming.
- Don't mention it !
You think it's wrong
for a man my age to faII in Iove
with a younger woman ?
That's what's happened to me.
You must think I'm the typicaI
middIe-aged man who chases girIs.
Of course, I beIieve you.
AII right.
I'II teII you.
I'm hopeIessIy in Iove.
I've never feIt Iike this before.
The probIem is,
she wants to dump me.
She wants to dump you...
Your sister.
What ?
We've been seeing each other
for three years.
I just managed to keep her
with me for a few days.
- When ?
- We got back yesterday.
I see ! But why invoIve me ?
- Why are you invoIving me ?
- I have to.
- OnIy you can heIp me.
- Me ? Yes...
- Give me a break !
- What ?
Go fuck yourseIf !
And you're not a middIe-aged man,
you're over sixty !
Dickhead !
Fuck off !
The bodice needs Iowering,
the fIounce needs raising.
- What do you think ?
- You Iook wonderfuI !
- I Iook Iike a marshmaIIow.
- It reaIIy suits you !
- Nana, thank goodness !
- Come with me.
You'II make me trip me !
Watch the dress.
- Why did you do it ?
- What ?
Don't screw with me, you know !
I'm waiting !
I don't know how it happened.
- Worst mistake I ever made.
- You did it on purpose !
- What ?
- To teach me a Iesson.
Me, the great Iady
who can correct your grammar
but can't get a man into bed.
You did it with him...
- To show me how it's done !
- You're nuts !
You've aIways been
an opportunist bitch.
I didn't mean to hurt you,
it just happened.
I hate it when you do this !
Dad's right, you're seIfish.
And bit of a sIut too.
There, I said it !
- Dad ?
- Yes.
How odd.
He's never cared about me.
He can't stand anything I do,
the peopIe I hang out with,
AIessandro, the winery.
He'd avoid the wedding
if he couId.
Stop pIaying the victim !
Why the victim ?
You know you're his favorite.
''Look how beautifuI Nana is.''
''How weII she writes,
Nana has such good taste !''
That aIways hurt me,
don't you understand ?
Hasn't anybody toId you yet ?
Why do I have to ?
What ?
He's not my father, damn it !
- Who ?
- Dad !
- Dad's not dad ?
- He's a dad, but not my dad.
- Meaning what ?
- He's not my reaI father.
I'm not his daughter.
Whose daughter are you then ?
- UncIe Duccio's.
- What do you mean ?
How do you know ?
Mom toId me three months ago,
when I toId her about the wedding.
- Does dad know ?
- Which dad ?
Of course... both of them know.
Dad knows
and the other one knows too...
Everyone knows... mom, you.
I'm the onIy who doesn't. Great.
Nobody ever toId me.
Ever... how come ?
What's happened to her ?
Did you try her pIace ?
She's here, I'II caII you back.
What happened to you ?
I feII off my scooter.
- Did you hurt yourseIf ?
- No... I just grazed my arm.
Come on, take this off.
You know why I'm here ?
Yes, but cover yourseIf up.
- Look at this !
- WeII ?
I don't know where to start.
When you were eight or nine,
your mom Ieft one day.
I toId you she'd gone
on tour for a show.
You began taking iII.
- What was wrong ?
- There was aIways something.
You suffered from nightmares
and stopped eating.
Anyway, I went to Iook for mom.
In Rome.
She'd gone back to acting.
She was Iiving with Duccio.
- You knew they Iived together ?
- No.
But he was your best friend !
I never saw Iove
as something excIusive.
My God !
That was when your mom
got pregnant with Bea.
- I can't beIieve it.
- And you began taking iII.
It was a reaI mess.
We decided to stay Iike that.
- We'd have toId you eventuaIIy.
- It's been thirty years !
Right, what can I say ?
You were aIways too happy,
or too unhappy.
You forced us to stay together.
- So it's my fauIt now !
- For pity's sake !
It's mine and your mom's fauIt.
But, sorry...
I remember you sIeeping
in separate rooms,
but I'd sneak into mom's bed
in the mornings.
You were there too, right ?
- What were you doing there ?
- What do you think, Nana ?
Our reIationship
went through phases of...
- Of ?
- WeII, phases of...
- Phases of ?
- Phases of reconciIiation.
Yes !
Mom sIept with you
and UncIe Duccio ?
Not together. AIternate phases !
Like aIternate side parking !
Don't be vuIgar !
How Iong did this mess go on for ?
It's stiII going on ?
- Nana, pIease.
- Don't touch me !
Nana, darIing.
DarIing, my ass. What do you want ?
To taIk to you.
I don't want to taIk to you, okay ?
Everyone wants to taIk when
they've been siIent for 30 years !
I don't want to Iisten, go away !
Come on, come out !
- Stop acting Iike a kid !
- I don't want to !
This is my house too !
Go away, I don't want to come out.
Sooner or Iater you'II have to.
Come on, dad's waiting for you.
Everyone's downstairs, pIease.
AII right...
Do what you want !
You buy cookies ?
''You buy cookies ?''
Pardon me, I can't see.
Oh, you can't see ?
- Now you won't see !
- No !
Wait Nana ! My bags ?
They're in the courtyard.
Go get them.
Goodbye, fareweII !
Who is it ?
- What do you want ?
- Can I come in for a second ?
My wedding's tomorrow, remember ?
How couId I forget ?
I just wanted to say that
I'd reaIIy Iike you to come.
Okay, you said it. Thanks, bye.
Nana, come ! PIease.
Depends what time I wake up.
It won't be the same without you.
ActuaIIy, it might be better.
Bye !
Who is it ?
What do you want ?
Open the door, pIease.
I know you're there.
I'II wait for you here.
I know that you hate me.
I understand you.
I'd do the same thing in your pIace.
But try to understand,
Iife's one big mess.
For you, and for us too.
We've made a Ioad of mistakes...
But, for better or worse...
your dad and I have cared about
each other for 40 years.
40 years !
Love isn't eternaI,
from what I've understood.
He and I did create a famiIy,
didn't we ?
It's not a masterpiece...
we're not masterworks either.
I'm sure...
you'd see it differentIy
if it weren't your own famiIy.
You're not a moraIist.
You've aIways understood others.
Much more than I have !
Even if I've been
a bit of a disaster as a mother,
I swear to you, I tried my best !
Do me a favor.
Come to the wedding, pIease.
You don't have to speak to me,
but pIease come.
I'm here with you
Here, where beauty
Has to hide
For a secret reason
My hands weep...
I've reaIized something !
EnIightenment !
I'm gonna dance
into the church tomorrow.
- Where does she Iive ?
- Wait... there !
- Where the coIonnade is !
- What's her name ?
The coIonnade...
Her name's Nana.
Nana, show yourseIf, it's me !
Nana, show yourseIf, it's me !
There she is !
Nana, it's me, AIessandro !
Yes, be quiet !
- What's she Iike, I can't see her ?
- Quiet, you'II annoy the neighbors !
- Excuse them, they're ignorant !
- Go get some sIeep !
Your wedding's tomorrow,
remember ?
I brought these to thank you !
The condemned man's Iast request.
I'm going to bed, goodnight !
No, wait !
Come outside !
- Come up, but onIy you !
- Okay.
Sorry !
- Where did you get them ?
- A fIower stooI... I mean, staII.
- A fIower staII.
- Thanks, they're IoveIy.
Sorry for the intrusion,
I went for a drink with some paIs.
- A bacheIor party.
- Yes, I can imagine.
- WeII, nothing, heIIo.
- HeIIo.
I dropped by to teII you...
the time I spent
with you was wonderfuI.
- Oh, yes...
- ReaIIy !
I enjoyed it too.
You're a fantastic woman.
Thanks, reaIIy...
ReaIIy, you're...
you're the most womanIy woman
I've ever me !
- Don't exaggerate.
- Yes ! You're inteIIigent...
..cuItured, sensitive.
And you're reaIIy beautifuI !
And your eyes !
You have to wear sungIasses
to Iook at them !
Fine... Thanks, reaIIy.
- You've gone crazy ! Oh God.
- Sorry, sorry.
- I don't know...
- Right.
I keep thinking about you.
- Just another one and I'II go.
- No, no !
God, sorry, did I hurt you ?
- How are you ?
- Fine, I feeI great ?
- But it's aII red !
- It's okay, I'II go home !
- Did I faint ?
- More or Iess.
What an asshoIe !
Don't know what came over me.
Nothing, you just drank too much.
I feeI weird,
I don't know what's going on.
You're getting married, that's aII.
It's crazy, I don't feeI Iike myseIf.
It aII happened so fast.
I don't know if it's what I want.
Don't worry !
You're just a bit scared and drunk.
excuse me if I change the subject,
but do you reaIIy think the stuff
you said earIier ?
That stuff... yes, yes !
- You mean, that I Iike you ?
- Okay, I get it.
The first answer's enough.
But when I think about you...
Shut up.
This is a huge mistake !
Yes, you're right.
Oh weII...
ShaII I take you home ?
On the right.
You Iive here ?
With my uncIe and aunt.
So it was aII true then !
Over there.
It's aIways the same: when I'm
being serious, no one beIieves me.
Just Iike the boy who cried woIf.
Okay, thanks Nana. Bye.
Thanks again.
- AIessandro !
- Yes ?
What happened must never
happen again, right ?
Never say never.
I was wrong, you're very toned !
Idiot !
AIessandro and Beatrice,
AIessandro and Beatrice,
the Church joins in your happiness
and together with your Ioved ones,
affectionateIy weIcomes you
on the day in which,
before God,
you are ceIebrating your union.
On this speciaI day for you,
the Lord is Iistening
and sends you His
heIp and protection from Heaven.
He wiII grant your hearts' desires
and hear your prayers.
AIessandro, do you take Beatrice
to be your wife ?
Do you promise to be true to her
in good times and in bad,
in sickness and in heaIth,
to Iove her and honor her
aII the days of your Iife ?
I do.
Well, as I was saying,
now you now why I'm overcome.
I'm overcome
for Alessandro and Bea.
Giovanna !
This is Marina.
Nice to meet you.
I was very angry with you.
I thought about it for a Iong time
and I reaIized that...
Excuse me, do you mind ?
- PaoIo.
- Yes ?
- Can I ask you something ?
- Depends ?
Listen, your decision
to become a priest...
I never understood
if it was my fauIt !
Did you decide before
or after meeting me ?
- Before !
- Oh, before ?
I'd aIways wanted it,
but I hadn't reaIized it.
- ActuaIIy...
- What ?
- You nearIy changed my mind !
- I thought the opposite !
Since we're in confessionaI mode,
I want to teII you that the memory
of our time together...
PaoIo, you're a priest !
CeIibacy !
You know,
you're very sexy in that dress !
DarIing ! How about a mint ?
- If you want.
- Let's go get one.
The party was fabulous,
the food was sublime.
The wedding favors were a hit
and the Klezmer music
made even the most timid dance.
Here I am !
Sorry about the mess,
I'm painting.
I had a guest
who was a bit smeIIy.
Put it here.
it's not that I don't trust you...
but stuff never works with me,
I must have negative energy...
Do you mind if we check it together ?
- See, it doesn't work.
- Be patient.
This is the opening dispIay
before it accesses the desktop.
- This is a screensaver program...
- That my dumb friend put in !
CouId you do something about...
Do you want to eIiminate it
or do you want...
to reset it ?
To zero ?
Let's reset it !
Laser S. FiIm s.r.I. - Rome