Mayberry Man (2021) Movie Script

All rise.
The court of Fayette County, Georgia
is now in session.
The honorable judge R.C. Lowry presiding.
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.
Calling the case of the
people of the state of Georgia
versus Mr. Christopher Stone.
Mr. Stone is represented
by his attorney Mr. Aidman.
Good morning, your honor.
Mr. Stone, you're
charged with the violation
of Section 40-6-181 of
the Georgia legal code.
You were observed driving
105 miles per hour
in a 45 mile per hour zone.
And you were also seen
in front of City Hall
picking peaches off of Peach Tree City's
honorary peach tree.
Mr. Stone, how do you plead?
Your honor, I would like
to make the following motion.
I move that we dismiss this case
based on the fact that the prosecution
has completely ignored my written request
to discover the officer's notes.
I have here a copy of that request
written on August 9.
What notes?
He was clocked doing 105
and he had peach pits in his car.
Please be seated, Mr. Aidman.
Now, Mr. Stone, how do you plead?
Mr. Stone!
Guilty, your honor.
Mr. Stone, you might
be a big shot movie star
out in Hollywood,
but this is my courtroom.
And you will conduct yourself accordingly.
See, I get a lot of film folks
come through my courtroom and
well, they come to Georgia
to make their movies.
What do you
need me to say, Stanley?
Somehow they find ways to get themselves
in all kinds of trouble.
Hey, come on.
All I'm asking for
is one meeting, okay?
So, I
Just one.
Mr. Stone!
If it's all right with Stanley,
I would like to continue.
Bye, Stanley.
As I was saying.
I get a lot of film folks
throughout my courtroom
and I was surprised to find out
that your daddy is Walter Stone.
I'm a big fan of your daddy's.
Why, I've seen Walter
on dozens of TV shows
and movies growing up.
His parts weren't always really big
but he was such a great actor.
Excuse me, your honor.
My client has to be in
hair and makeup by three.
What does this have to do
with a speeding ticket?
I got to thinking.
You know, Mayberry Fest
is coming up next month,
and as you know, your daddy
was in a couple episodes.
I don't know that Mayberry Fest is
but can you just set the fine
so we can get back to the set?
Mayberry Fest.
It's a wonderful week
of all things Mayberry.
Yeah yeah yeah, the TV show, I get it.
The fine please?
There'll be no fine.
Excuse me?
There'll be no monetary fine.
Mr. Stone, I'm sentencing
you to Mayberry Fest.
Mr. Stone, you'll spend one week
in Mayberry, North Carolina
as a Mayberry legacy.
You'll be representing your daddy
by participating in all the
festivities throughout the week.
I object, your honor.
My client's time does not allow
for whatever this is.
Fried chicken!
Charlie, please.
Mr. Aidman, as for you,
one more outburst and
I'll find you in contempt.
Mr. Stone, you will attend Mayberry Fest,
you will complete this probation
or you'll find yourself
back in my courtroom
and you'll be looking at
some serious jail time.
Do you understand your
sentence, Mr. Stone?
Yes, your honor.
You're fired.
This court is adjourned.
Today is gonna be the greatest day
I've ever known
It feels good being
king of the mountain
Oh oh
I know that everything's all right
I know that everything's all right
I'm living a charmed life
A charmed life
Today, don't you bring me no bad news
I don't wanna know
It's my world
You're just a part of the show
Oh oh
I know that everything's all right
I know that everything's all right
I'm living a charmed life
A charmed life
You do what I tell you.
You understand me?
You're my agent, Stanley,
not my therapist.
No, I can't get out of it.
Look, do you want to spend
time in a backwoods jail?
Didn't think so, bye Stanley.
Welcome home, Mr. Stone.
Who are you?
Oh, I'm Shane, your new assistant.
What happened to my old assistant?
I don't know.
Go get my bag.
Yes, sir.
There she is.
Come here, come here Lucy,
come see your daddy!
Hey, did you miss me?
Oh my goodness, 'cause
I missed you, yes I did.
Yes I did.
You're such a good dog,
yes, you're such a good doggy.
Was this really Clark Gable's house?
Get me a beer, will you?
Come on.
Where's the kitchen?
Come here, Lucy.
Come on.
Good girl.
Lay down.
Lay down, down.
Lay down.
Here's your beer, sir.
So how was Georgia?
See I have an aunt
Lay down.
That lives in Augusta
and I was invited out
there last summer, but
I didn't end up going because
she has this feral bird Jimbo
who bit me when I was a kid.
And I don't know,
I've just been terrified
of birds ever since.
Well, it gave me a rash
and my aunt, she's immune to it, I guess
by now, but basically.
Hey, how's it going, man?
Yeah, are you free this weekend?
Yeah, my agent, he sent a
script over for me to read
but the walls are like
closing in on me here, so
I gotta get out.
Yeah I'll pick you up tomorrow at eight.
All right.
Bring your board 'cause
there's gonna be waves, man.
All right, see you.
Hey, Shane?
Lucy, go get Shane.
Go, go.
Go get Shane.
Dumb dog.
Shut up and listen to me!
This is the part where you play the agent
and I play the movie star!
No, Stanley.
Stanley, listen.
I gotta go.
I swear I have the world's laziest agent.
Dude, you gotta chill.
Well easy for you to chill.
Your last movie didn't just tank
at the box office.
Yeah, I'm just saying though.
Well, don't.
Get out of my way
Have you ever heard of Mayberry Fest?
Oh, I'm supposed to sign autographs too.
But not with my photos, no.
See, they want me to
sign photos of my dad.
That's cool.
Not cool.
Bro, once we get in that water,
all of your stress will just melt away.
Hey, Stanley.
Hey, did you get me that
meeting with Barry yet?
Why not?
Stanley, no.
Stanley, stop talking
and listen to me, okay?
This is a very important role for me.
I mean did you see the weekend numbers
from Satan's Gameplan?
Stanley, stop talking for like one second,
you might just actually learn something.
What are you talking about,
I met with him three weeks ago.
I didn't know it was his daughter!
What up, superstar?
Hey Larry, how you doin'?
You want a beer?
No, thanks.
Bro, your house is 10
times the size of mine.
You should be storing dad's stuff.
And I found dad's first
acting job that he ever had.
This is so stupid.
Have you ever heard of Mayberry Fest?
Yeah, sure I have.
Dad used to go to it every year
until he got too old.
You would know that if you
ever bothered to stop by
and see him.
Can we not start this again?
From what I hear, sounds like fun.
Yeah, well maybe for
old has been actors, but,
I'm Chris Stone!
You know what's gonna happen to me
when I show up there?
I'm gonna get mobbed.
Remember this one?
Mom tell you she's finally
willing to sell the house?
Yeah. And it's about time.
Neighborhood's getting a little unsafe.
Maybe we should get her
a condo or something,
maybe a senior living apartment?
I already looked at a few
but none that I want mom living in.
I told you I'd help her find something
when I get back from this
stupid Mayberry thing.
You know, this was one of
dad's most memorable roles.
Of all the shows that he was in,
everybody remembers this one the most.
It's like Mayberry Fest
made him a big star.
Look, I don't care about Mayberry Fest.
And I certainly don't care
about dad. Or his career.
He never cared about mine.
What are you talking about?
He has never appreciated my
accomplishments as an actor.
Sure he has.
Oh, really?
You know what he said to me
when I got my first big
role in Shingletown?
Because he wasn't there.
He's just a two bit actor who...
Forget it.
Come on man, how can you say that?
He's your dad, man.
No, Larry.
He's your dad.
He was your basketball
coach, your scout leader.
He took you fishing.
And when you moved out
it was me who watched
him become an alcoholic.
And it was me who heard him
yell at mom every night!
And it was me who watched
him walk out the door
and never come back.
No, you had a dad, Larry.
You had a dad.
You gotta forgive him for that, bro.
Mom has.
That was a long time ago.
Is there anything else you need?
I don't need anything.
But you do.
See you, bro.
Thank you, Mr. Stone.
I've never been on a private jet before.
Mr. Stone?
I'm Doug, I'm gonna be
your driver for the week.
Anything you need, I'm your man.
Oh, and this must be Shane?
Nice to meet you.
Your chariot awaits, boys, come on.
Sorry y'all gotta sit in the back seat
but the front seat's a little busted.
Y'all ever been to North Carolina before?
It's really beautiful.
Oh, we're gonna have a wonderful time.
You are gonna love it.
The people here are all so friendly.
And the food, don't get me
started on the food.
But you know, you can
really go anywhere you-
- Hey, Dan?
It's actually Doug.
Whatever your name is.
Listen, if you, stop touching.
If you don't mind, I
got a bit of a headache
from the flight.
Say no more.
Headache, I know, when you got a headache,
all you want is a little peace and quiet.
Well guess what, peace and quiet
is what you are gonna get.
All right, just sit back and relax
and we will be there
in no time.
I will have you there
in a jiffy.
We're gonna have a wonderful time.
Don't forget.
I'll be right back here
at 7:30 in the morning
to pick you two up for
the opening ceremony.
Opening ceremonies?
Yeah, you know, when the mayor declares
the official start of the Mayberry Fest.
You two are gonna love it!
This is gonna be fun.
Stop, put it down.
Mr. Stone!
Hey Mr. Stone, hey.
Welcome to Mayberry Fest.
Hey, is it all right if I call you Chris?
We're kind of on a first
name basis around here.
My name's Allan by the way.
But you can call me Floyd.
Your name?
Oh, Shane.
Shane, it's good to see you.
You look a little shaggy here in the back.
Let me trim that up for you.
Ooh, that's good.
Does it look good?
Good morning, everyone.
Hey, have you seen Kate?
There's a truck blocking the driveway
and there's someone that
needs to get through.
No, I haven't seen her.
You might check over at the office.
She could be over there.
All right, okay, thank you.
Good morning!
Hello, doll.
The fun girls have found you,
you better watch out.
Let's head on over,
take a seat up on the stage.
That's where you'll be
for the opening ceremony.
Excuse me.
Floyd, have you seen Kate?
No, I haven't seen her, sorry.
Thank you.
Who's Kate?
Oh, she runs this whole event.
Been running it for years.
She's a doll.
A real doll.
Welcome to Mayberry Fest!
Judy Judy Judy.
How do you do that?
Okay, come here, listen, listen to me.
I don't care how much it costs.
Or who do I have to pay off, all right?
We're out of here.
I'm not gonna stay here a whole week!
You understand me?
I need you.
Who are you calling a
I'm not gonna stay here another hour!
Hey, if it isn't
Mayberry's favorite mayor.
Mayor Pike! I got somebody
I want you to meet.
Mayor Pike, Chris Stone.
This is Mayor Pike
Good morning, Mr. Stone,
I'm so glad you're here.
Your honor.
Here, just call me Mayor.
Of course.
Come come, Juanita.
This is Chris Stone.
Flow gently sweet Afton
Among thy green braes
Flow gently I'll sing thee
Can I have all the talent
please move onto the stage.
We're about ready to start.
A song in thy praise
My Mary's asleep by
the murmuring stream
By the murmuring stream
Flow gently
Come on, Juanita, come to the stage.
It's time to go to the stage.
Good morning everybody, good morning.
I want to officially welcome
everyone to Mayberry Fest!
We have a big week
planned for you this week.
A lot of fun things going on.
You know, this could turn
out to be our biggest yet!
And to think,
for 20 years we've been gathering here
as fans of the show together.
20 years!
So we have a special
guest with us this year.
And it's always great to have 'em, but,
this is our Grand Marshal for our parade.
The daughter of Don Knotts,
the lovely Karen Knotts!
You know, the show was a huge part
of my father's life.
And he always thought of his
fans, you guys, like family.
And I know we miss him
but we're grateful that he's still
entertaining us today, right?
You know my dad had a great career.
He was a comic genius.
And on top of all that, he had me!
Well, I want you to
remember to come see my show
Tied Up In Knotts at the Royal
Theater on Saturday, okay?
I'll see you there.
Thank you, Karen.
It's so good to have
you with us this week.
We have another special
guest with us this week,
a first timer, first timer.
Mr. Chris Stone!
The son of Walter Stone from season three.
Most of you know that
Walter's a regular here
at Mayberry Fest.
But he couldn't make it this year.
But he wanted me to send you his love
and tell you that he misses you all.
Aw, that's great.
We love you, Walt!
But we're lucky to have his
son here to represent him.
Chris, come on up here, come on up.
Chris Stone, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah, come on up, Chris, come on.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, come on up.
Chris Stone, ladies and gentlemen.
Come right on up here.
We have a tradition here
that we bring up our mayor.
So the mayor of Mayberry,
ladies and gentlemen, Mayor Luther Wilson!
As part of that tradition,
as part of that tradition,
we got to present our first time guest
with a special award.
Mayor, Mayor.
Miss Mayberry.
Chris Stone, it's my
honor as mayor of Mayberry
to present to you a key to our fair city!
Attaboy, Luther!
Thank you, thank you all for having me
here with you all.
You know, my uh... my dad,
boy he loved this show.
He loved it.
And uh...
Thank you, uh, thank
you, thank you very much.
Thank you Chris, thank you.
- That was real purdy.
- I did wanna mention
that Chris has brought
with him photos of Walter
that he'll be signing at
our autograph sessions
throughout the week.
Hey, Stanley.
Any word from Barry's people yet?
What do you mean it's only 7:30?
It's 10:30 here in North Carolina.
If it's 10:30 here, it's 10:30 there.
It's agent time, Stanley!
We're all set, Mr. Stone.
Here are your photos for
the autograph session
and Doug will pick us up in 30 minutes.
And I put some sharpies
in there for you too.
We got black, silver and magenta.
Hi, I'm Greg.
Oh yeah, I know who you are.
I'm a big fan.
I love your work.
Oh, this here, that's my
documentary about Mayberry Fest.
Five years of my life making that film.
You know, it's amazing how one show
can have such an effect on so many people.
It sure had an effect on me.
That's terrific.
Oh no, that's yours.
I'd be honored.
Looks like you've got some competition.
Okay Kate,
you can let them in now.
Thank you, Holly.
Do you have a sharpie?
Love you.
Hey, I'm Rayfield, and
this is my wife Ginny.
Good morning..
These your daddy?
Yes, it is.
I think we'll take this one.
Would you sign this for us?
Sign it Rayfield and Ginny.
Oh, thank you so much.
Hey, this says Roger.
Oh, Ginny.
Hey, how did it go, sir?
Not great.
Go, go!
Hey Bernie, where you going, come back!
Can I get that for you?
You wanna do something for me, kid?
- Yeah.
- Go find Kate.
Okay, you got it.
Oh wait, who's Kate?
Ask someone.
And then, bring her back to me.
Well, looky
here, a stranger in town.
I'm just kidding, I know who you are.
Yeah, yeah.
You probably saw me in my
last movie, Deep Cover PD.
No, that's not it.
10 Hours Till Dawn.
Satan's Gameplan.
Death Figure Eight.
I'm Chris Stone!
You guys, you have a movie theater
in this town, right?
Oh yeah, we got real real nice one
down on Main Street.
They did some renovations last year,
moved the ladies room
from the second level
down to the lobby level.
Real classy move.
Okay, that's great Barney.
I got some things I gotta do, so.
Oh I get it, I get it.
Well, real nice to meet
you there, Chris Stone.
And remember, no jaywalking.
Mr. Stone?
Hi, your friend said
you were looking for me.
I'm Kate.
I'm Chris.
Sorry I haven't had a
chance to meet you sooner.
Things get a little crazy around
here during Mayberry Fest.
But thank you so much for coming.
Oh, it's my pleasure.
You know, dad told me
when he wasn't gonna be able to come here,
how much he was gonna miss it, so,
I thought I should come in his honor.
That's so sweet.
Yeah, I know.
He always told me how much he loved
coming to this event.
I just thought I should be here.
And we are glad to have you, Nick.
I'm so sorry.
It's okay.
What was it you wanted
to talk to me about?
I'm sorry to interrupt.
- It's okay.
- But Luanne needs
to see you in the office.
She needs to move Mrs. Wiley's tea party
from 10 to 10:30.
Thank you, Holly.
You're welcome.
I have to go.
I'm sorry, but what was it you
wanted to talk to me about?
I can't remember now.
Well if you do remember,
I'll be running around here someplace.
Thank you so much for coming.
It was a pleasure meeting you.
We just love your daddy.
Looks like you've just met-
Mr. Stone!
I'm heading down to the
pool, if you'd like to...
Okay, I don't care about that, Stanley.
Have you set up the meeting yet?
Wait, what?
Wait why is my mom calling you?
No, no, no.
I told her I'd find a place for her
when I get back.
Just, tell her to stop looking.
Hey, Mr. Stone!
You forgot something.
Hey, good afternoon.
How'd the autograph
session go this morning?
And what you got planned
for the rest of the day?
Hey, I know who you are.
You're the singing guitar player
from that episode with
the singing guitar player!
No, no I'm not, sorry.
Well would you mind taking our picture?
Just push that button right there.
Yeah, right there in front of me.
Oh, it's shaggy back here.
Oh, thank you very much.
- Yeah, that's a good one.
- Thanks, buddy.
Now that's
a nice couple there.
Hey, have you ever been
over to the courthouse?
Oh, oh, you wanna see that.
Oh, it's just like the real set.
I'll go with you!
Right this way, folks.
Try to stay together there.
No stragglers now.
Come right on in.
Well, as you can see,
here we have an exact replica
of the Mayberry courthouse.
Made possible by the Greater
Mayberry Historical Society
and Tourist Bureau.
Limited, that's a good one.
Feel free to sit at the desk
and take a picture while you
make your phone call to Sarah.
Oh, and these over here,
these are our maximum security cells.
As you probably know,
this is where we keep
our most incorrigible prisoners.
Here's one of our savage killers now.
That's the greatest thing I've ever saw.
Y'all are welcome to come back
and have your picture
taken in one of the cells.
I suggest this one.
What are you in for?
Pretty neat huh?
Tell me something, Floyd.
Allan, right?
Yeah, but this week Floyd.
We wouldn't want anybody to hear you
calling me Allan.
Floyd it is.
Excuse me sir, can I get a picture?
Yeah, sure.
Thank you.
Uh... could you move
for just a minute, sir?
Sorry, what?
For just a second.
All right, hold still here.
Got it.
Thank you so much.
Thank you too, mister.
So, Floyd.
You've been doing this a long time, right?
Yeah, I've been doing it quite a while,
a lot of years.
Can I ask you something?
Oh, hey Mr. Schwamp.
Sure, yeah, anything.
How well did you know my dad?
Your dad?
Pretty good, I believe.
Why you ask?
I don't know, I just wanted to know
if he ever talked about his career
other than the show.
He's a good talker,
your dad is.
He's a really good talker.
I figured that.
What does he talk about?
Acting, he loves acting.
He talks about that.
Had some great stories
about some of the old shows
he'd been in and stuff.
Oh and he talked about you boys.
He talked about his kids all the time.
He's very proud of you.
Matter of fact, he always made sure I knew
when you had a new movie coming out.
Oh, look at that, I've gotta go.
I'm a tenor in the Mayberry
barbershop quartet.
Hey, you wanna go?
I'm good.
All right, I'll see you later.
You know, this is me.
Everybody knows it.
Awards are great.
But it's really just knowing that my films
are connecting with the hearts and minds.
Don't mess this up,
Stanley, don't you dare.
Were you sick the day they taught this
in agent school or something? Come on.
Is that what you're going with?
I'm just asking for one meeting.
I mean how hard is that?
Do you even want to be my agent, Stanley?
Why don't you start acting like it?
Just set it up!
Come on Shane, let's have lunch.
Come on.
I'm just gonna actually
go back to the...
I nailed the audish, thank you.
I nailed the audish.
And that's how I got cast
as Lucky in Shingletown.
From that moment on, I mean
I can't walk down the street
without someone asking for my autograph.
Wow, that's amazing, Mr. Stone.
You're telling me.
Excuse me.
Are you done with the ketchup?
Thank you.
You know, you eat like a pig, right?
I hate to ask you again.
It's okay.
My wife wants me to ask you.
I know.
Are you done with the mustard?
All right, so give me the lowdown.
What's the story with Kate?
She seems nice.
No, I mean like does she
have a boyfriend or anything?
Oh, yeah I wouldn't really-
- Oh my!
I can't believe it!
You're Chris Stone!
Yes, thank you.
I am Chris Stone.
We've seen all of your movies.
Death Figure Eight is my favorite.
And Shingletown.
So cute.
Can we take a picture with you?
Yes, absolutely.
Give your phone to Shane.
Oh yeah, of course.
Come on around.
All right, say Mr. Stone on three.
- Here we go.
- One, two, three.
Mr. Stone!
Got it.
Thank you,
thank you.
You're welcome.
All right, there you go.
Did I tell you?
I mean.
Yeah, all the time.
And how are things at this table?
Really good, Scott.
Hey, Shane.
Weren't you just-
- Oh, this is Chris Stone.
Hey Chris, how are you?
What's up, man?
You know,
from Death Figure Eight?
Uh, No.
Vegan Gringo?
Shingle, no.
He's Walter Stone's son.
Walter Stone.
Oh, you're Chris Stone, Walter's son.
Hey, you know what,
your dad would eat here
at the Loaded Goat every
year for Mayberry Fest.
Your dad's a wonderful man.
Scott's the owner of the Loaded Goat.
I figured that.
Hey, Shane, next time,
you know you get those wings
half price on Wednesday.
Hey, do me a favor, bring the check to me.
Hey, lunch is on me today, gentlemen.
- Thank you, Scott.
- That's really kind of you.
Thank you.
Hey, it's my pleasure.
Hey just do me a favor.
When you see your dad,
tell them I said hi for me, would you?
I will.
All right, awesome.
Hey you guys have a great day.
- Yeah, you too Scott,
- Take care.
- Thank you.
- See you later.
That was a great burger.
Ooh, just got to make a
little pit stop first.
Oh, hey.
How's it going?
Good to see you.
You look great today.
Thank you.
I just feel like there's some chemistry
right here between you and me.
Hey, Mr. Stone.
Hey, Kate!
Wow, you were just asking me about her
and here she is.
- That's so crazy.
- Oh, no, what?
I mean, sorry.
He was dropped on his
head when he was little.
What is wrong with you?
Well, you said, what's
the story with Kate?
And then I said, whoah, it's just-
- Stop!
I don't need your help, okay?
I'm Chris Stone.
Watch this.
Are you doing something with your voice?
I don't get it.
You're a regular guy, how would you do it?
Huh, do what?
Kate, how would you make a move on her?
Oh, uh.
Well, I don't think I
would make a move on her.
I'd probably just, you know,
try and get to know her first.
Yeah, doesn't that take time?
That's Walter Stone's kid!
How are you?
We are big fans!
Oh, yeah.
Of your daddy!
- We sure are!
- Oh.
My name's Walter too
but everybody calls me Walt!
Nice to meet you.
I'm Shirley.
We are really big fans of the show.
Yeah, what was Andy like?
Did you ever visit the set?
Y'all are very welcome.
And you have a beautiful day.
Did you ever visit the set?
Kind of.
Those are really, really great questions,
and you know, I got a thing, so,
gotta go.
Hey, Doug.
Hey, hey, can I borrow
the car for an hour?
- I guess that will be okay.
- Thanks.
Where are you going?
I don't care.
Anywhere but here.
Good afternoon.
Hey, uh.
Sorry, I was just driving and
this huge turtle-
- Is there something I can help you with?
I doubt it.
So the tourists, they don't
make it out this far, huh?
Yeah, the fans of the show.
Son, Mayberry's been around a lot longer
than that TV show.
Well why don't you tell that
to the thousands back in town?
I suppose there comes
a time in everyone's life
when things get complicated.
Mostly by our own doing.
And that's when folks
start to look to our past.
Mayberry... and the show,
remind us of a time when
things were simpler,
when folks were friendlier to one another.
And just laying back in the grass
and looking up, watching the clouds
roll across the sky was...
You see, Mayberry... isn't
just a place. It's...
It's a state of mind.
It's in Georgia, it's in Indiana.
Heck, it's even in California.
It's anywhere where
folks treat one another
with the dignity given
them by their creator.
It's about... looking beyond ourselves.
Now is there something in
particular you was looking for?
I got what I needed.
You have a good day.
Mr. Stone.
To Don and Betty.
There you go.
Thank you so much.
And tell your daddy hey for us.
I sure will.
Bye now.
How are you?
Good, partner.
I'll take this one.
Could you sign it Bobby-Ray?
Absolutely, you got it.
There you go.
Hey, you're the guy in Shingletown.
How's it going?
Great, how about you?
I'm good, fabulous.
You got a couple options here.
So, when can I buy you dinner?
I actually have plans, I'm sorry.
It's okay, we'll just do breakfast then.
Look. Um...
You're a nice enough guy and all
and I'm really glad you're here.
And I love your daddy.
But, I'm just not interested.
Hey buddy.
Can you give me a hand here?
A little help?
Just get it, that's great.
See y'all later.
Oh, hey, Chris.
I had to get out of there.
If I stay in there too long
they're gonna want me to cut
somebody's hair.
Mr. Schwamp.
You know, when I was a boy
I actually wanted to be a barber.
Yeah but nobody would
let me cut their hair.
I used to go out back there and catch
the neighborhood cats.
Here an example of some of
my work there.
Yeah, looks nice.
How long have you been playing Floyd?
Hey look, a stranger in town!
No, we've already met.
No we haven't, I never forget a face.
Yeah, I already told you, my name is-
- No, don't, don't, don't
tell me, don't tell me. Uh...
Let me see if I can...
Give me the first letter.
- C.
- Cal!
- No.
- Clay?
No, it's Chris.
See I told you I never forget a face.
Hey, look at that, Barney.
Wow, I don't think I've
seen that one before.
I never forget a squad car.
Yeah it's real nice.
Reckon what happened
to the original ones.
They should have put one
in the Smithsonian Institute or something.
Yeah, I guess.
Oh, there's a treasure there.
It's a shame, a real shame.
You know, I know where
there's an original.
Right over in
Wilmington, North Carolina.
An original squad car?
It's at an old movie studio.
I know 'cause I shot a
Western there last year.
You're sure it's the real deal?
A real
Mayberry squad car.
- In Wilmington?
- Yeah.
I'd love to see that.
There's a national
treasure is what that'd be.
You guys wanna see it?
See what?
The squad car.
Yeah, I'm in.
All right listen, we can go tonight.
Be back by the morning.
What'd you say?
Yeah, I'm in.
What about you, Barney?
Yeah, let's do it.
All right, now we're talking.
All right, listen.
I need you to go to my hotel,
pick me up at 10:30, all right?
10:30, all right.
- Sounds good.
- Wait a minute, wait.
I don't have a car.
I rode here with Otis.
We'll take my car.
Good evening, friends.
You're listening to the soothing sounds
of Mount Pilot.
Ooh, oh, turn
up the radio, Barney.
I just love Leonard Blush.
Can't this thing go any faster?
The speed limit's 65.
Yeah but you are going 50.
Well how would it look if a lawman
got pulled over for speeding?
Besides, this here's a delicate machine.
You treat her right, and
she'll treat you right.
Yeah, she's a beauty.
And it's delicate, delicate, yeah.
She's just a replica.
You wanna nip it, Floyd.
You guys brought a
change of clothes, right?
Of course.
Everybody loves the spring
You know, Barney, the
other day, I got to thinking.
How come Ernest T's name
is always Ernest T. Bass?
It's never just Ernest Bass or Ernest.
It's always Ernest T.
I mean I know people
with names like Sally Mae
or Mary Anne.
But I've never known
anybody with just a name
and an initial.
Well, you know what I think?
Yeah, what's that?
What if Ernest T. Bass'
daddy's name was Ernest S. Bass?
Hey, that's good.
You got something there.
So his granddaddy's name
would be Ernest R. Bass?
And his great granddaddy's
name would be Ernest P.
What are you guys talking about?
Who cares?
He's a character from a
TV show, he's not real!
Family's real.
I said family is real.
Floyd's right, family is real.
This family.
In fact, family is pretty
much all a man's got.
He ain't much without it.
Well this is trespassing!
We're not stealing anything.
I should be home in bed.
C'mon, let's go.
Well, looks
like the coast is clear.
Get down.
Go back.
Go on, take a look.
I can't believe it.
It's beautiful.
You wanna sit in it?
Oh I don't think I
should, I can't do it.
Could I?
It's amazing.
You think he would sell it?
Oh no.
No, the owner of the studio told me
he's had a lot of offers over the years
but he won't sell it.
This puppy's staying right
here with the studio.
What was that?
Was that the security officer?
I don't think so.
Follow me.
- No, the green wire.
- Move your hand!
- I was the one who graduated high school?
- Shut up!
Looks like those guys are
trying to steal that car.
Well, we gotta call the police.
What, are you crazy?
You wanna get us arrested too?
We can't just let them steal it, can we?
Oh, no, no, no, those
are real crooks in there.
I don't think we have
any other options, man.
We can't just walk away.
Oh yes we can.
You got that one bullet, don't you?
It's not real, Floyd.
But they don't know that.
Well they don't know I
only have the one either!
Shh, guys.
Come on, you can do it, Barney.
My name's Warren.
His name's Warren.
That's funny, isn't it?
I don't get it.
Well, you see on the show...
And I don't care.
All right, listen, Warren.
What would Barney do?
There it is.
There it is.
Yeah, there you go Barney.
We'll be right here.
Now listen.
When you get into prison,
I'm sorry, position,
I'll hit the lights, okay?
You got this.
Come on.
Come on, you got it Barney.
Little courage, little courage, Barney.
Oh yeah baby, come on, come on.
Nobody move!
Out of the car.
Out of the car, you on the
other side, come around.
Keep your hands in the air.
Keep your hands in the air!
I thought you said
there was only one guard.
Hands in the air, buddy!
I think our rent-a-cop
is a little jumpy.
Keep your hands in the air.
Keep your hands in the air!
Are you gonna shoot us all?
I don't think he's
gonna shoot us, Billy Ray.
I think you're gonna put
that gun on the ground
and turn around real slow-like.
You best listen.
This isn't worth dying over.
All right boys, let me see your hands.
Get'em up.
Come on, get'em up!
Not you, them.
Hey, stop right there, stop right there!
What is this?
Back up.
There we go, Floyd, all right.
Hold it right there, slick.
Nice job, Barn.
Wait a minute.
Aren't you Chris Stone?
Hands up!
Nobody move!
Nice job.
Oh, thank you, thanks.
Fortunately for you, your partner
was able to get himself
free and give us a call.
Oh yeah, my partner.
Oh yeah, well, I knew I had to step it up
and neutralize the situation.
Besides, nobody gets a drop on old Barn
when I got this bad boy by my side.
You know, the number one thing to remember
when fighting crime here in the big city
is to always be-
- Hold on a second, hold on a second.
What do you mean the guy says
he's the only security guard here?
Oh man!
Barney, you better slow down.
This is a delicate machine, remember?
Yeah, you don't wanna
get a speeding ticket.
You wanna nip it, Floyd! Nip it!
Nip it!
Oh, man.
I think we made it.
Oh, hey Doug.
Wait, what time is it?
Yeah, yeah, just give me five minutes.
Be right there.
Hey, stop slouching.
I'm paying you by the hour here.
You think Briscoe's gonna
help you, think again, pal.
Can I go now?
Do you mind?
Just, all right.
Say Mayberry!
You ain't rubbing my head.
Hey, come back here, you little brat.
All right, that's it.
Watch this.
And you, watch this.
Maybe you guy'll learn something.
You know, filmmaking, it's
not done in a vacuum, okay?
I mean, you're on the same team here.
Come on.
Where's your Mayberry spirit?
Now, let's have some fun.
Hey folks!
Come on in, how you doing?
Welcome to Mayberry Fest.
Which photo would you like me to sign?
Oh, fantastic.
Mom, I'm not saying it
has to be a big house.
And please don't worry about the money.
You know you're not gonna be happy
in a senior living complex.
Don't worry, I'll find you
the house of your dreams.
Okay, I love you too.
Bye, mom.
Hey, dad.
Yeah, I know.
I was filming a movie, and uh...
yeah I'm still here.
I uh...
Guess where I am.
I'm at Mayberry Fest.
No, not as a fan.
I'm actually representing you.
Yeah, the people here are amazing.
Really kind, and,
they want me to tell you hi, by the way.
She's great.
She's amazing, yeah.
Yeah, I'll tell her.
I gotta get going.
I just wanted you to know where I am.
And maybe I'll call you
when I get back to LA.
I will, yeah.
Man, how did you get those great
drone shots in your film?
Oh, I had a good friend
help me out with those.
You're kidding, that's great.
How long did it take
you to do your film?
Oh, forever.
You know, you and I could be brothers.
Aw, don't make me howl.
Morning, Chris.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Morning, Kate.
Do you have a second to talk?
What's up?
Well I wanted to
apologize for the other day.
I shouldn't have been so short with you.
It wasn't very neighborly.
It's totally okay.
I shouldn't have been so
forward, that was my fault.
Look, I know who you are.
I looked you up when I
heard you were coming.
I know you're a movie
star, a big movie star.
Well I just wanted to apologize.
No worries, okay?
I had it coming.
Well thank you again for being here.
I know you're very busy.
Anything, anything for dad.
Well Mr. Stone, if
you're free around two,
we can grab some coffee.
I'd love that.
See ya.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Craig, give him the elevator pitch.
- Okay.
- Hey, picture this.
You're driving in the car
in the middle of the desert.
- Yeah.
- Middle of nowhere.
And all of a sudden it breaks down.
And a beam of light comes down.
Big beam, big beam.
Big beam.
And, all of a sudden you look up
and you see.
Thank you so much for
the photos, Mr. Stone.
Hey, it was my pleasure.
And hey I'm pulling for you
in that promotion, Phil.
Thank you, Mr. Stone.
- All right.
- Thank you.
It's Chris, by the way.
And you're welcome.
Thank you, bye.
Talk to me, babe.
Well, cancel it.
I don't want it anymore.
Yes, Stanley, I understand
how hard you worked
to get this meeting for me
and I really appreciate it, seriously.
But, I don't know
I think I'm gonna take some time off.
We can talk about it
when I get back to LA.
Well, talk to you later, Stanley.
Where is he now?
Shane, where are you?
Oh, hey Mr. Stone.
Um... I'm at, I'm not really sure.
Hey Roger, where am I at again?
Son, you're at Twin Bridges Golf Club.
The finest gold club in
the state of North Carolina.
Oh yeah, I'm at Twin Bridges Golf Club,
the finest-
I don't care.
Shane, let me ask you something.
Do you like making minimum wage?
Then I think you should
get your butt back here.
Right now.
Uh... Gotta go, fellas.
Well, you already have
the ball teed up, son,
you might as well hit it.
Oh, there it is.
Oh, Chris Stone.
Am I late?
No, not at all, I was early.
They have really good coffee here.
I don't drink coffee.
Oh, okay.
I really just wanted to
get to know you, and so.
Oh sorry.
Just a sec.
Terry needs to see you
at the office right now.
Thank you.
I'm so sorry, but I have
to go back to the office.
But um, would you like to walk with me?
We could take our time.
I'm sorry, this festival is a
really big thing around here.
Big isn't the word for it.
Oh, nothing.
I'm sure this seems pretty silly to you.
No, not at all.
Yes, I admit it.
Yes at first this all seemed a little,
a little nutty?
But I think I get it now.
I don't know what it is, but
I really like this town.
Just must seem pretty boring
compared to Los Angeles.
It has its charms.
So, tell me.
Why isn't there a Mr. Kate?
Picky, I guess.
Why isn't there a Mrs. Stone?
Picky, I guess.
I have to go.
Oh, okay.
It was really nice
talking with you, Chris.
Yeah, same here, same.
I'll see you later.
All right Stanley, I'll
talk to you when I get back.
Mr. Stone.
Sure looks like sentencing
you to Mayberry Fest
has turned out great for all of us.
In the next two weeks you'll
get a document from the court
that states you've
completed your probation.
Judge, thank you.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
What did he mean probation?
You were forced to come here?
I can't believe it.
How stupid am I?
You don't understand.
Oh no, I understand.
You're a bigger phony
than I thought you were.
Mayberry Fest is for
people who love this show.
- Kate, just-
- No.
I don't even wanna know why
the judge sent you here.
Hopefully you got to see
what real thoughtful people
look like, honest people.
Something you know very little about.
What'd I miss?
Chris just got chewed out by Kate
for lying about why he
was here at Mayberry Fest.
So you didn't want to be here?
I didn't want to at first, but,
I thought we were friends.
We are friends, Barney.
I mean, Warren.
Look, yes, it's true,
I was sentenced to be here.
But being here, it's
caused me to look at myself
and others so differently.
I'm not the same man that I was
when I first got here.
Well, you are a touch
more neighborly.
Yeah and he don't hold his finger up
when I'm trying to talk no more.
Kate, she might,
well she may hate me for life, but,
I just don't want you guys thinking
that we aren't friends.
Because we are.
We're friends.
Oh well.
You know, it's like we always say.
Once you've been to Mayberry
Fest, you're family.
Thanks, Floyd.
That's right.
You'll be at the talent
show tonight, right?
Unfortunately, sorry, I've
got something I gotta do.
And then I gotta get on
my flight back to LA.
Oh, man.
Well, I guess this is goodbye then.
It's been great having you here with us
and we hope you'll come back next year.
Oh, yeah.
We'd really love to have you.
Well I now know why this
show's been so popular
for all these years.
It's nice people like you.
Somebody help me.
Where you going, toots?
Come back!
You're such a doll, doll.
Wait, wait, wait!
Thanks Doug, I appreciate it.
You are very welcome
and I'll be back at 4:30 to
pick you up for the airport.
Perfect. Thank you.
You're welcome.
Hey, Stanley.
Look, I'd like you to get a
hold of someone for me okay?
You know, this Mayberry
Fest thing is wild.
I did not know this was going on.
I'm so excited that you
get to experience it with us.
Just tell me that
Ernest T. Bass character
isn't staying here.
He is, is that gonna be a problem?
Okay, you're gonna be in room 216.
Enjoy your stay, Mr. Bowden.
Thank you.
Thanks Stanley.
Good afternoon, Mr. Stone.
Could I trouble you for some stationery
and an envelope?
Of course.
Here you go.
Excuse me, Mr. Stone?
Um... I was wondering.
Can I have your autograph?
Of course you can.
It's okay.
I've got it.
What's your name?
My name?
My name, uh...
It's Jill.
There you go, Jill.
Voiceover: To the citizens of Mayberry.
Thank you for showing
me the Mayberry spirit.
Voiceover: Kate.
You have every right to be upset with me
and I understand if
you'll never forgive me.
And you'll make sure Kate gets this?
Of course.
Thanks, Doug, I appreciate everything.
You've been great.
Oh, by the way.
Take your car to this guy.
He'll fix your front seat.
It's on me.
Wow, thanks, Mr. Stone!
It's Chris, by the way.
Oh, and don't let Shane sleep in.
His flight leaves at 11.
Didn't he tell you?
Tell me what?
Everybody step back!
Step back a little bit.
Break it up now, break it up.
You heard the man, give him some room!
Scooch, buddy, scooch!
Well that's the car from the studio!
Yeah, it is!
It is.
It looks like the real deal.
This is exciting.
If this car is real,
Oh, Jim will know.
It's real.
It's real!
Hey hey!
Wait a minute, it's a note from Chris!
It says, "To the citizens
of Mayberry Fest."
Please accept this gift for showing me
"that there is a Mayberry in all of us."
- Yeah.
- All right.
There's more, there's more.
"PS, if you're ever in
Los Angeles, look me up."
Now I know you got everything.
But, for your birthday,
I got your favorite.
Tallest peanut butter
and jelly sandwich ever.
Of course.
If it's from you, I'm sure it's amazing.
It is.
It's mom.
Hi, mom.
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear Christopher
Happy birthday to you
Thank you, mom.
I hope you're having
a wonderful day, sweety.
I love it.
And you were right, this place is perfect.
Well I'm glad you like it.
Thanks for the call.
I love you too.
I moved her in two months ago
and she still thanks me
like it was yesterday.
Sorry, it's front gate.
I mean, sorry, Allan.
You said if I was ever
in LA, come look you up.
Yeah, I absolutely did.
Let me open the front gate for you
and come on up to the house.
The door will be open.
It's a guy I met at Mayberry Fest.
And he came to see you?
Very funny.
Did he loan you money?
He's actually a Floyd tribute artist.
He's pretty good too.
I was actually serious
about the money question.
Of course you were.
Allan, hey!
Great to see you, buddy.
Great to see you.
This is my brother Larry.
Allan, pleasure to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
Nice place you got here.
Oh, thanks.
I'm actually thinking
about selling the place.
Too small, I guess.
Hey, I've got a surprise for you.
Hey, you old son of a gun!
This is quite a treat.
Man, it's great to see you.
Good to see you, bud.
This is my brother Larry.
Larry, nice to meet you.
Warren, it's a pleasure.
So what brings you two nuts to LA?
Every couple of years a
bunch of us come up here
to California and do
all the Mayberry stuff.
Yeah we go up to
Franklin Canyon Reservoir
where they filmed the opening credits.
We go out to the old 40 Acres backlot
where you know, it's all Mayberry stuff.
I'm really excited you guys stopped by,
this is awesome.
Hey, I'm sorry about your dad.
Walter was a great guy
and he's really missed.
Thank you.
Yeah, the last three
months we had with him
were really great.
I needed those.
And I've been autographing
more of my dad's photos
than my own since he passed.
Well, we're not interrupting
anything then, are we?
No, not at all, seriously.
Oh great, 'cause first off,
I want to say thanks for
getting us that squad car, man.
It is sweet!
- You're welcome, man.
- Yeah, it's great.
How did you get the guy from the studio
to sell it to you?
You said he wouldn't sell
it, it had to stay there.
We made a deal.
A deal?
I bought the studio.
- What, are you kidding?
- You're kidding.
- Oh, man!
- Wow.
Hey, we've got a surprise for you.
- Here.
- Okay.
It's out front.
Come on, come on out.
You bought another studio?
He bought a whole studio.
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear Chris
Happy birthday to you
I don't know what to say.
Come on in, everybody.
It's great to see you,
fun girls.
So good to see you.
So good to see you, doll.
Thank you.
Chris, great to see you, buddy.
Big Ray, good to see you.
Can you believe we're all here?
Now I can.
Happy birthday!
Thank you.
Thank you.
You got a lovely home.
Appreciate it.
I love all your movies.
Thank you.
My mom won't let me watch Shingletown.
Hey there, buddy.
Hey, Doug.
Hey, hey.
I haven't seen Kate smile like
that in years!
That's that Mayberry spirit.
Like what the old man at
the trading post told me.
Mayberry's not a place, it's in here.
It is, yeah.
Wait a minute, what old man?
The old guy, at the
Mayberry trading post.
The Mayberry Trading
Post has been closed
for at least 10 years.
Yeah, at least.
It was condemned by the state.
It's just a monument now, you can't go in.
There's nobody inside.
But I spoke to him, so...
I talked to him.
Oh you had me on that one.
He's a good actor, isn't he?
Old man.
Oh yeah
I was running, I called it living
In the rat race and I
thought I was winning but I
Could not get out of the fast lane
I was bone dry, mud in your eye
Cross my heart and hope to die
Then something took me by surprise
And now
I'm Mr. Come on Over
Mr. Small town parade
on the fourth of July
Trading my Ferrari for a farmer tan
And doing the best I can
I wanna be a Mayberry man
I was big city, Hollywood and Vine
Trying so hard to have me a good time
But every party started
looking the same
Goodbyes, bloodshot eyes
Blinded by the sunrise
Then something took me by surprise
And now
I'm Mr. Come on Over
Saying how do you do
May I have this dance
I love walking and talking
and holding your hand
Now I understand
I wanna be a Mayberry man
A Mayberry man
Now I'm Mr. In The Moment
Mr. Country Church with a gospel choir
I'm saying yes sir, yes ma'am
Canceling all my plans
So I can be there to lend a hand
I think I finally understand
I'm a Mayberry man
I'm a Mayberry man
Mayberry man
Mayberry man
I'm a Mayberry man
Oh yeah
You get love when you give it
You get love when you give it
You get love when you give it
You get love when you give it
There's an old time string
band down on the time square
Everyone in town's
making plans to be there
Let's slip on our
boots and get unrefined
Hometown's not a place
It's a state of mind
Dancing, clapping
Gather with the family
It's not a place that you will find
It's a hometown state of mind
Everyone in town knows you by name
They're all there to help
you if you need anything
Take me by the hand,
leave your troubles behind
Hometown's not a place
It's a state of mind
Dancing, clapping
Gather with the family
It's not a place that you will find
It's a hometown state of mind
Dancing, clapping
Gather with the family
It's not a place that you will find
It's a hometown state of mind
Dancing, clapping
Gather with the family
It's not a place that you will find
It's a hometown state of mind
It's not a place that you will find
It's a hometown state of mind
Met a girl from Tennessee
She stole my heart and
left her mark on me
I was thinking this must be love
She said that she was only having fun
So I keep rolling on
Traveling down this highway all alone
Looking for a love
that feels like home
Till then I'm rolling on
I keep rolling on
I keep rolling on
Someday I will find you
And I'm not giving up until I do
Someday I will find you
I only hope it's someday soon
Met a girl out in LA
She took me in, gave
me a place to stay
Everything was a selfie with her
She'd always cut me out of the picture
So I keep rolling on
Traveling down this highway all alone
Looking for a love
that feels like home
Till then I'm rolling on
I keep rolling on
Someday I will find you
I keep rolling on
Someday I will find you
Someday I will find you
When life feels like
it's getting harder
And you get to thinking that
there must be a better way
Well there's a place where
you are always welcome
Yeah come on down to Mayberry Cafe
Remember when times were simpler
Everybody seemed to have
a neighborly thing to say
Well if you're in the mood
to see some friendly faces
Well then come on down
to the Mayberry Cafe
Anytime's the right time
To have fun at the picture show
Everybody knows the
Royal is the place to go
And then later on you
can treat your sweetheart
You take them on over
to the Mayberry Cafe