McDull, Kung Fu Kindergarten (2009) Movie Script

China's Yangtze River flows
across over 4,000 km of land
lt's the longest river in China
The mother of Chinese civilization
The Three Gorges is famous for
its sheer cliffs and steep mountains...
inspiring poets to leave behind...
... beautiful words of praise
From the walls of Baidi high
in the colored dawn
To Jiangling by
nightfall is a thousand miles
lt's the birthplace of poet Qu Yuan
and the great beauty Wang Zhaojun
lt's where warlord Liu Bei died...
... and the inspiration for Li Bai's poems
But with the construction of
the Three Gorges Dam historical sites
and artifacts will soon be submerged
under water
All the nation's archeologists
have gathered here
to rescue invaluable artifacts before
the dam floods the area
Today,
a school archeological team
has unearthed
what is believed to be
...a Big Mac box from
the first MacDonald outlet in the country
Another team has also discovered
a piece of chicken bone
Carbon 14 and DNA test results
confirm that...
it was the first batch
of Kentucky Fried Chicken
mumbled by Chinese
Another piece of exciting news
A large object is about...
to see the light of day again...
after thousands of years in darkness
Experts carefully clear the soil off
But its function is a mystery
lts craftsmanship poor and
design awkward
lnside the object...Whoa...
There's dried cow dung
Oh no...it's McFat's handiwork again
Mak-zi, given name McFat
dates of birth and death unknown...
...an extremely insignificant philosopher
and inventor
He invented the electric rice-cooker
electric kettle, mosquito repellant
electric nose hair trimmer
...but forgot to invent electricity
So his inventions sat at home...
...useless
He also invented the Shadowless Kick
contact lenses and invisible pantyhose
But no one could see them
They are not written in history
Mak-zi also invented
the world's first telephone
But the second telephone was not...
...invented until the 19th century
...by American Alexander Bell
Mak-zi waited by his telephone...
...and waited waited and he died...
...before he could hear it ring
l was dancin' with my darlin'
to the Tennessee Waltz
When an old friend l happened to see
l introduced him to my loved one
And while they were dancin'
My friend stole my sweetheart from me
l remember the night
and the Tennessee Waltz
Now i know just
how much l have lost
Yes, l lost my little darlin'
the night they were playing
The beautiful Tennessee Waltz.
Yes, l lost my little darlin'
the night they were playing
The beautiful, the wonderful,
the marvelous, the glorious
The beautiful Tennessee Waltz.
lt's every archeologist's nightmare
it's bulky, useless
No museums want it
But it's unethical to...
dump it
back into the river...
the huge object...
float aimlessly down...
the Yangtze River...
all the way to the south of...
its southern tributaries...
to the furthest tip of...
an 18th generation descendant of
Mak-zi McFat was found - McDull!
Mama, what is
an 18th generation descendant?
That's your father's father's father's
father's father's father's
...who got married and had your father's
father's father's father's
...who had your father's
father's father's father's...
...who had your father's who had you
l have so many fathers?
Perhaps due to the economic downturn
or because of...
...Mrs. Mak's premature menopause
She had to keep changing store signs
to stay in business
Luckily, she was a TV celebrity chef...
Wow! On fire! On fire!
She was able to rise from...
a home chef to a spokesperson...
for a weight loss franchise
Everything seemed a little bit off
Luckily, it was just a bit off
But like most mothers...
Mrs. Mak would do anything to...
take care for her little one...
McDull!
Mrs. Mak began planning McDull's...
future even before he was born
The Mozart Effect was in vogue...
For the sake of her unborn child,
she enrolled in the...
"Prenatal Education with Mozart"
university...
research program
She thought she succeeded...
Who knew...
But she discovered
that scientific research
required control groups
To prove the Mozart Effect...
one group of fetuses listened to Mozart...
selected randomly...
...while another group
listened to nonsense songs
On Hollywood Road stands a big hotel
lnside three fat ladies learn to kick balls...
What could you do about
random selection?
Mrs. Mak did not give up
Every Sunday...
McDull takes painting,
swimming, English classes...
plus goes to university for Mozart
His efforts may erase the...
prenatal effects of the nonsense songs
McDull may be dull
but he is a good child
He eats plenty, craps plenty
He's strong enough to
twist off bottle caps for other kids
He's also careful not to step...
on ants that cross his path
He may be slow but he's patient
He is dexterous and likes to fold origami...
for his mother when
she comes home from work
l love chicken
Mama loves chicken too
l love to be with Mama
whom l love the most
and eat what we love
Chicken on fire
- Great! Very Mozart!
- You're kidding!
At this beautiful moment of defeat...
our story begins
Ah-Fai...
McMug...
McDull...
Hurray! i got an A!
No, McDull, that's an H
H and A are slightly different at the top
Oh... l nearly got an A
You wish
Look, your writing's so messy!
No one could read it even
if it was correct!
Didn't l give you an eraser?
Here! Still in perfect condition!
What good is a clean eraser?
Use it to clean up your mess!
No... lt won't be perfect anymore
l'll give you a new one later!
That's okay... i like this one.
See how beautiful it is
What if l promise to write slowly and...
neatly from now on
Slowly won't do! Class will be over!
Huh? You mean if l write slowly,
class will be over sooner?
Oh...i feel dizzy, l feel so dizzy...
Ah...
- Maybe you have menopause?
- ls it possible?
dizziness, mood swings, insomnia,
night sweats, hot flashes?
You've just entered
a new phrase in womanhood
Menopause!
The more l endure,
the more l feel uneasy
Rising suddenly from
a squat makes me dizzy
Frequent hot flashes,
indigestion and nocturnal incontinence
Rising suddenly from
a squat makes me dizzy
Disoriented in the morning and
can't sleep at night
Rising suddenly from
a squat makes me dizzy
Cut! Thank you Mrs. Mak
We'll let you know. Next!
Your menopause is so tragic!
What do you children know?
You were awesome, mama,
real tears were coming out of your eyes!
l was thinking of your report card
You'll get the spokesperson job for sure
You had real sadness and real tears!
Women like me...
can produce tears very easily!
What kind of woman are you?
Forget it! Let's just go home and...
have "Chicken on fire"!
Hurray!
Well... i almost...
got an A...
l'm not talking about that!
How could you poop in class?
Are you still a baby?
Sorry...
You shouldn't have to be...
Raise your hand and tell the teacher
How could you poop in your seat?
Miss Chan was singing to us...
l wanted to hold it until the song ended
Just admit you were too lazy to
ask for permission!
Even your bum knows how to poop!
But you are lazier than your bum!
Alright, stop crying...
Mama was wrong to use the B word
Alright, your bum is not
as hardworking as you are...
...and you almost got an A
Stop crying and eat your chicken
Raise your hand if you need to poop
lt's...
a basic human right
l need to poop!
Just follow mama... l need to poop!
- l need to poop! - l need to poop!
May, how laZy are "bums"?
Bums are not lazy,
they're very hardworking!
Really?
Of course! Day in and day out,
bums jiggle jiggle jiggle...
They have to sit and get up...
...and they also have to poop!
They jiggle to move in water;
they jiggle to get out of water
lt depends on what kind of car too...
...bums have to jiggle jiggle jiggle
lt's more work than walking
Over the new year holidays,
a friend of mine took his bum
on a plane ride to New Zealand
- Checked-in luggage or carry-on?
- What?
- The bum!
- Carry-on, of course!
So the bum jiggled all the way
to Auckland
and thought it was a vacation,
only to discover...
...it had to go horseback-riding!
Wow, May...
Who do you think is lazier -
me or my bum?
Of course you are lazier than your bum!
l wish l can poop,
and Miss Chan can continue to sing
l wish l can write correctly
Without using my eraser
l wish l was smart
so mother wouldn't have to cry
or go through menopause
l wish to get all A's and
not almost get one
lf l'm smart, smarter than my bum
For Mama's happiness, l would...
l would give up
eating my favorite chicken!
Do you have an umbrella?
U-m-b-r-e-l-l-a, umbrella.
l have an umbrella,
B-a-n-a-n-a, an umbrella...
lf McDull can become a smart boy,
l would...
Mother, look! Look how smart l am.
l got an A, it's a real A!
Ladies and gentlemen -
Chicken on fire!
Eat up, smart boy
l'm fine, you eat
l'm on a diet, you eat it
l have indigestion
l don't believe it. Eat!
My cholesterol level...
- Heck with cholesterol, eat!
- You eat!
- You eat! - i have a pimple...
- l have a wart, eat! - i can't pee
- l have athlete's foot
- l have tennis elbow
On the same night McDull made his wish...
Mrs. Mak also made a wish
B-a-n-a-n-a, Banana..........
lf McDull can become a smart boy,
l would give up chicken!
My Cholesterol level...
Heck with cholesterol! Eat!
You eat it!
The chicken got cold
McDull hesitantly divulged his reason...
for not eating the chicken
Out of the blue,
Mrs. Mak is suddenly overcome by...
a feeling of being bullied
She's a bit angry, a bit sad,
and a bit ashamed
She stands up, picks up the plate
Reheats it in a hurry
puts it back in front of McDull, and says...
Mother is not a successful sow outside
l run around from morning to night
What makes me happiest is...
to cook you a delicious meal,
and watch you eat it
This is the most basic happiness...
l can provide to you
Therefore,
if you don't eat my chicken anymore...
and l can't watch you eat chicken
Then my life would be over
Never sell out our chicken!
lt's okay, son. Have some chicken
lt'd be great if you become somebody
But if it's not meant to be
Then we'll always have our chicken
Mrs. Mak read two letters that night
One is from the anti-Menopausal Formula.
She didn't get the job
She lost even in her specialties,
dizziness and tears
The other is from the professor
at the Mozart Effect program
He said the funding has been exhausted,
so after this semester...
McDull doesn't need to return
to the university
His parting words for McDull...
on his overall mental aptitude...
consisted of only one sentence
lt is one only a mother...
could truly appreciate
He's not retarded, he's just gentle
For McDull and for herself
To have truthful lives
Mrs. Mak decides to pack up...
and start anew
A carry-on it is
Bright moonlight,
amber glow on my face
Good baby go to sleep
Come morning Mama has to cross
the border
Daddy works the graveyard shift at 7-11
Bright moonlight,
amber glow on your pee
Good baby go to sleep
Come morning Mama has to go to court
Daddy lies sleeplessly on the bed
Baby, hurry and grow up
All the wiser at fleeing debt
Bright moonlight,
amber glow on my face
Good baby go to sleep
Come morning Mama has to go
borrow money
Grandma's dentures
cost two grand and more
Wuhan, we are finally here
The land of Crouching Tigers and
Hidden Dragons
Your soil nurtured McDonald's and KFC
You can nurture me and my
"Chicken on fire."
Mother, are we going to a hotel?
We have to take another train ride
Huh? What about horseback-riding?
You know the expression
fish out of water?
l've heard of "Cool as a cucumber"
and "Dangle a carrot in front of me"
You get the idea...
Listen, mother will stay in Wuhan
for a month or two
and learn how to do business
then maybe go to Shanghai,
Suzhou and Hangzhou
ls it going to be carry-on again?
lt's checked baggage this time
That's great, no need to lug it around
Remember "Good guys finish last"
l will take you to Wu Dang Mountain
Once you have mastered Kung Fu
No one can bully you again
No one can bully mother
You are "checking me in"?
l don't want to go...!
You want us to be like fish
... in a barrel,
No cucumber?
How about some bitter melons?
Chow Yun-Fat is a descendant of
Wu Dang.
How about that?
l can go back
to being my own spokesperson
Open a huge chain of
"Chicken on Fire" restaurants
Welcome,
would ja like sum chick'n?
Haha, your accent sucks
lf anyone should disrespect my chicken
You will help me break his ribs
with your head
Oh, that would hurt
That's what they get for criticizing me
l mean my head would hurt...
Not when you know Wu Dang Kung Fu,
it wouldn't hurt
That's true, hehehe
Okay, let's go, the train is leaving
Waaaa, l don't want to be
"checked-in"!
This is my mobile phone number
Call only...
if it's very very important
Mama...mama!
Hey, you wet your bed!
l've even pooped in my pants
Yuck, this Hong Kong kid poops
in his pants
Rise and shine, with the sun
Brush your teeth, wash your face
We are the good children of China
We exercise everyday
Develop our body and mind
When hungry
We eat rice and vegetable
We are the good kids of
Wu Dang Mountain
Children, you are very lucky!
Our Wu Dang Tai Chi clan is profound
and vast
But to promote our martial arts
We have adopted
a new teaching method
Using storytelling,
real life examples and singing
there's no TV here
in conjunction with multimedia
lt will help you learn our Kung Fu...
effectively and effortlessly
Okay, any questions for the Master?
Master, are there air conditioners here?
We can't function without air conditioners
A karaoke machine?
A bar-b-que grill?
How about MSN?
Master, do you have AAA batteries?
Master!
Colors will blind you
Sounds will deafen you,
and tastes will dull you
Only seclusion will enlighten you
That means no TV, no air conditioner
no karaoke or batteries, no-nothing
Let's thank the Master once again
- Master, i want to p...
- Fine! l know about you,
Hong Kong kid,
everyone here knows what you've done
Anyone who needs to poop
should go now
Let's meet on the field when
the bell rings.
Okay, go
What are you doing?
You don't know how to poop?
What?
Do it like this...
Let me help you
That was impressive
Mama says l'm a straight shooter
l know, Mrs. Mak
You know my mother?
She asked me to look after you
Really?
She said you should train hard
Strengthen your legs
l got it
Good.
Go to the field to practice Kung Fu
A watermelon
- l pass it to you - l pass it to you
- You don't want it? - Haha
Haha
- l'll keep it - l'll keep it
- Take it home to my sister-in-law
- Take it home to my sister-in-law
Little did l know my sister-in-law...
has a watermelon in her belly
Little did l know my sister-in-law...
has a watermelon in her belly
What l taught you just now
was the new teaching method for Tai Chi
Wasn't it easy to remember?
Goosie
can you repeat it, please?
A watermelon...
Correct
l pass it to you. You don't want it,
give it back
Haha
l'll keep it. Give it to my aunt
Hey, mister!
Why did you hit my chicken
with the paper?
That's more or less correct.
The phrases you learned
help you remember
the Tai Chi movements
We invited a special friend
to demonstrate it
Brother Panda, please join us!
Hello, everyone..
l'm Brother Panda!
Students, follow Mr. Brother Panda
- A watermelon - A watermelon
- l pass it to you - l pass it to you
You don't want it?
- Haha - Haha
l'll keep it. l take it home Give it
to my sister-in-law
Sir!
Would you like a preserved plum?
Why won't you eat my pork?
ls it not tender enough?
Sir!
Would you like a preserved plum?
Why won't you eat my pork?
ls it not tender enough?
Mak-zi, given name McFat
He was born chunky then grew chunkier
And kept getting fatter and fatter
At his death, he lived up to
the name "big, fat, McBacon"
They say Mak-Zi invented yawning
belching and sitting
"Get up", needless to say,
was also his invention
"Hanging around" That's his too
He also invented stirring chop suey and
getting nowhere
"An order of Chop Suey to go"
was his innovation
That day, as he told the waiter
to doggy-bag the food
he paid with his newly invented...
never-seen-before credit card
Unfortunately he got beaten up
The ATM was another contraption of
Mak-zi
aka McFat
The waiter stuffed the card
in Mak-Zi's mouth
and tapped on...
his acupressure points
Mak-zi automatically gave the waiter...
all his money
Mak-zi was the first person
to open a supermarket
He opened a grocery store
Told the patrons to take a wooden cart...
...and load up the goods
The first person to declare...
bankruptcy was Mak-zi aka McFat
Rumor has it he even invented
the English alphabets
As he sighed...
one night...
"Alas"
"too bad
"sh...t"
Why is everything "almost there"?
"almost there"...
"almost there"
Mak-zi closed his eyes and meditated,
he eventually...
fell asleep
Loose collar, stiff top!
That means relax your neck
and hold your head straight
Drop bottom, surrender waist
Let your bottom drop to the ground and...
relax your waist
Drop shoulders, plunge elbows...
- Master! - What is it?
l don't have a waist
What? How can you not have it?
Mom says l'm straight all the way
How is that possible?
Master, this kid is shaped like a barrel
He really has no waist
Turn your head that way...
and the other way?
Master, he doesn't even have a neck!
What do we do, Master?
ln our nearly 1,000 year history
this is the first such disciple
we have encountered
No neck and no waist...
What do we do?
Hmm...at this point the only thing to do
is to...have...lunch!
Let's eat
Brother Panda,
where were you before?
Well, l come and go...
- Master found out i had no waist
- Really?
And no neck
My goodness
Do you think Master would kick me out?
No way!
l heard the founder of this clan
looked like a turtle
They still had kick-ass Kung Fu
Then l shouldn't have told anyone
l had no waist
Why? You want to be kicked out?
l miss my mother very much,
and it's boring here
Every meal is carrot cucumber
cooked in salty water...
You should play with
your classmates more...
...train and study together
Your box of oranges is almost rotten
Why don't you share your oranges with
your classmates?
How did you know?
Eat them first
You mother didn't know
there's no fridge here
Do you know if there's a phone here?
Yes, there's one in that store
at the bottom of the mountain
lt only takes 4 to 5 hours to go down
Uphill is longer, about 10 hours
Here, this is for you
Play with your friends more,
it'll take your mind off of your mother
Why is that only in Hollywood...
can you find such a big hotel
Three fat women learn to play
the shuttlecock
You kick it, i kick it,
until our legs go limp
Thank you. Such a fun evening
l want to treat everyone to oranges
Your oranges are almost rotten!
How did you know?
Then l'll let you poop here!
We get nothing to poop
Why don't you...
share your instant noodles with us?
You knew about that?
How about it?
Fine, but how are we...
going to cook them?
Follow me!
All right, everyone stop!
lt's lunchtime already?
You wish! Come with me,
we have a multimedia lesson today
Cool!
Sponsored by a mobile phone network
The Best of the Best:
World Kindergarten
MartialArts Competition
is about to begin in Yichang
Young MartialArts students of various
disciplines from around the world
including Karate, Taekwando, Judo,
Wrestling, Thai kickboxing, etc
will all send their best to compete
Our own Kung Fu clans...
will of course also participate
Promoting our Wushu
is a big responsibility
Today l will teach you,
"Pushing Hands"!
Master, who is the unlucky,
l mean,
lucky one you're going to send?
"Pushing Hands" is the hand-to-hand
combat technique of Tai Chi
Whoever excels shall have the chance to
earn glory for our clan
But i just dislocated my wrist two days ago!
- Me too! - Me too!
My stomach is bloated
Stop whining, go out and practice!
Four-hand engagement requires focus;
defend by following closely
No need to use force,
if you know how to use leverage
Fake a move, mislead your opponent,
you shall triumph
- Don't underestimate the Taoists
- Yes Master!
- My knees hurt - Me too!
- Me too! - Me too!
My stomach is bloated
lf you had to choose between seafood,
chicken,
and Sichuan spice
Which one would you choose?
l choose seafood. l choose chicken
l choose Sichuan spice
All of them!
l always buy these flavors for
the instant noodles
l never get tired of them
What about Tom Yum Kung flavor?
Less so, because it's too spicy
But i'd buy some if i see it
Mama said to learn to eat
some spicy food now...
that l'm in Wuhan
McDull, come. Lie down here
What the founder of our clan left us...
besides his extraordinary skills,
was this medicine stove
l can't believe under my charge...
The founder's medicine stove
has become a cooking pot
l am ashamed, but punishing you
would not help matters
Gone is the evil spirit and
Taoist righteousness restored
Oh, my bum...
Have my share, i'm not eating it
My mother is taking me home
She learned about
the competition on TV
and is worried that l will be beaten up
l'm sorry, it was my turn
to wash the medicine stove
l was going to do it
Don't cry
Ask your mother to take you away
for a while
Take a break, come back when
the competition is over
Master would not be angry anymore
Should i bring another box of
instant noodles?
We're almost out
- What? Sure - Oranges?
My mother is here. Bye!
Mom, mom! i'm over here
Excuse me, l'd like to use the phone.
Anyone here?
Be quiet,
it's middle of the night!
Sister, what are you doing here?
This is my store and my home
l only train up there, but l'm not a nun
So you want your mother to pick you up?
Are you going to make me
go back up there
l don't care!
l want to leave too
Dealing with you little monkeys and
passing watermelons everyday
Only Master has the patience...
to train you naughty kids
lmagine a great master donning
a big fur coat
under the hot sun
playing Brother Panda
What? Master is Brother Panda?
Master was exceptionally gifted
He mastered all the skills before 20
and was recognized as
the most outstanding young martial artist
One day, a Kung Fu magazine printed...
an interview with Pruce Lee
The "Pruce Lee"?
Of course!
Pruce Lee said, "lf Chinese Kung Fu
does not reinvent itself..."
"it would degenerate into
just acrobatic shows"
He cited Tai Chi as an example
that it was only good for fitness
and its original combative powers
have all but vanished
Master read it and disagreed strongly
He wrote a rebuttal,
which prompted more rebuttals
Someone said "talk is cheap"
and suggested they have a match
So everyone can see
who's more powerful
Due to the travel restrictions back then
it was impossible for them to meet
at the same place
The China-Hong Kong border became
the venue
One on each side of the Shenzhen River
A duel across the river
Top martial artists everywhere
came to witness the match
Everyone still talks about it today
"The Battle of Shengzhen River"
One is an international superstar
The other,
a reclusive Master of martial arts
Both young and impetuous
Eager to prove themselves
Even though the battle was across a river
But when two experts go head to head
their weaknesses and mistakes
are easily spotted by the opponent
So it was every bit as dangerous as
a physical battle
The battle lasted all night
Both sides were exhausted
Finally, the well-respected
grand master of...
Zen Finger spoke up...
And halted the contest with...
a loud "Ya!"
The contest was over
The grand master imparted
some philosophical thoughts
but he was obviously from
a small village
because his accent was impossible
to decipher
plus he was upside down
with his big bum facing everyone
Therefore his long speech...
was understood by none
As to who won the contest
Opinions were widely divided
Master returned to Wu Dang and fell ill
He told me...
he was fortunate the battle was across
a river...
or else he would have died
under Pruce Lee's feet
Therefore Master decided to...
make Wushu reform his life's work
He gave up everything and
renounced the world
He vowed to modernize Tai Chi,
make it efficient and practical
He made numerous attempts...
but was not successful
Finally, when he ran out of ideas
He placed all his hope on you rascals
Yo, what you got down there?
That's a bit crass
How about: mama,
show me your thing?
That's even more vulgar!
ln order to teach you little rascals...
he ignored the jeers from his peers
and came up with all sorts of
song and dance, and gimmicks
What he got in return was a full body rash
lt started out as a small patch
and could have been cured by
our own "Rash-Away" ointment
Little did we know...
the herbal medicine made it worse
because it was spiced with seafood...
and Sichuan hot sesame oil!
Never mind that
Just when he needed you,
you kids fled like bats out of hell
Master has lost all hopes
- Sister... - l've got a headache.
The phone is over there
- Mom... - McDull!
- Mom...
- Why are you calling so late?
Mother, please come and
watch me compete
When? What competition?
What should l bring?
lt's easy to retreat, hard to advance.
Keep the waist still
Your footwork will let you
maneuver around the wild beasts
l'm going to teach you
the Way of Heaven and Earth
The natural way of things by Lao Tzu
- What about the Shi Tzu?
- What Shi Tzu?
Never mind
A person follows the natural order of
the universe
and the universe follows
the way of "Tao"
But what does "Tao" follow?
"Tao" follows its own self.
No pretense, no charade.
What it is, it is.
You mean "Tao"...
doesn't sell out its chicken?
We are ready to leave the mountain
McDull, what are you doing here?
May, what are you doing here?
l signed up for Yuen Wo-Ping's
Summer Wire-work Camp
l came because l heard...
Tom Cruise was coming also
You had your eyebrows done?
No, l didn't. Gotta go, roll call time
l'm flying... Oops, my wires are showing
Master, we meet at last!
l'm Pruce Lee's disciple.
My master used to talk about you
all the time
He told me about your battle
He said the river saved him...
from a crushing defeat
He was inspired by you
and dedicated the last years of his life
studying Taoist Kung Fu
l made this from his last manuscript
He would have wanted you to see it
Contestants, let the games begin!
Representative from Butterfly Palms!
From Wu Dang,
Spring Flower Gate, McDull!
McDull, go for it!
Hey, that's my friend!
MC! l need to go poop...
Testing, testing...
Hello, my friends
My name is Mak-zi, aka McFat
l'm very happy to see you all here
This is a new clock invented by moi
The mechanism inside turns...
every 100 years
and the alarm sounds off...
every 1,000 years
Once it has sounded off
100 times meaning 100,000 years later
the bronze chicken l made...
would poke its head out
and announce the time by going
"cuckoo, cuckoo"
My workmanship was crude
Please don't laugh at the chicken
when you see it
Thank you very much
Sayonara
Thank you...thank you
A hundred years seem like a second
A slight movement in the clock...
brings out such a profound thingy
Of course, some are having...
a sudden enlightenment
The first one is Mrs. Mak
Oh, our ancestor has spoken!
She thought: "National TV,
we are going to be famous!"
Thus she hastily returns to...
their ancestral home
hastily opens
a chicken-themed restaurant
and hastily closes it down
At the end of her ropes,
Mrs. Mak wracks her brain
for another idea
She realizes it'd be best
to build her business...
in her own neighborhood
Another person who
had a sudden enlightenment was McDull
Hey, that's my friend!
Your friend...has no waist!
All of you...bring it on!
McDull took a good beating
He spent time laying low
in the countryside
With nothing special to do
But he did find his father's father's
father's father...
father's father's father...
Mak-zi aka McFat's manuscript
lt basically fell into his lap
He followed the instructions
in the manuscript
and made several useless objects
May, do you have any cow dung
to spare?
Tom Cruise didn't show up
lf he did, he would have had
a sudden enlightenment too
Master also seemed to
have realized something
Not sure what it was
But Sister finds him more cheerful...
than before
maybe because
his rashes have cleared up
He got a visitor's visa
to come to Hong Kong...
and see McDull
Move your feet, please
They overstuffed themselves
and started talking about
the competition again
McDull wanted to know,
with his sudden enlightenment
Why did he get beaten so badly?
Master smiled and said...
Look
A cup of water can easily
float a toothpick
But if it were a ship
then we'd need a river or an ocean
McDull has nothing deep to say...
That toothpick, l picked my teeth before
And that's the way it is.
Nothing wonderful
Life goes on
McDull remains chubby
Kind, straight-forward, and dense
l have a friend
who went horseback-riding in Auckland
when she came back
her bum was still jiggly like before
We jiggled together to
another elementary school
while McDull stayed in the same one
Afterwards we went our separate ways
That's nothing wonderful
But, l have another friend, he said.
to be wonderful doesn't mean...
sudden and unusual
That extremely and
excruciatingly slow-moving...
...But you can be sure...
...that it's moving, clock,
is already a wonderful thing
lf, by any chance
when i grow up
l see McDull again
lf McDull is still so strong
so gentle, so dense
and so straight-forward
and the eraser l gave him
is still so clean and unused
lf that's the case...
then something wonderful
has already happened.