McDull: Rise of the Rice Cooker (2016) Movie Script

The most impossible things...
The things that we thought...
Only the dumbest kids...
would believe...
Are actually happening!
A monster from outerspace suddenly...
Appeared and invaded the Earth!
Ha ha ha ha
All conventional weapons
reported of no avail!
General, we can't hold on!
Permission to engage weapons
of last resort, General
Get me the President!
Ah Ya Ah Ya !
Mr. President, are you OK?
Mr. President, launching weapons
of last resort
Please, the passwords
Ah Ah Ah Ah!
Ah Ah Ah Ah!
Ah Ah Ya Ya!
Ah Ah Ya Ya!
Ya Ah Ya Ah! Ya Ah Ya Ah!
Ya Ya Ah Ah! Ya Ya Ah Ah!
General, what are you...
Ah-ah-ya-ya-ing about?
Just punch in some letters!
Heavens, forgive me
What's that?
A sun-dried Chinese sausage!
No. I am Spamerman from
the Planet Galanta!
The personification of justice
Here to safeguard peace
in the universe!
You evil, wicked, spiteful monster
Spamerman is here to
teach you a lesson
Gotcha! Monster
But I, Spamerman...
But I, Spamerman...
Am not an average violent Superhero
Earthlings. If the monster
would apologize...
Can you forgive him?
No answers? I take that as a yes
You! Be good!
Say sorry to the Earthlings!
S-O-R-R-Y, sorry
C'mon, everybody roots for the monster
S-O-R-R-Y, sorry
Louder, I can't hear you
All our friends up there inside
the bobmers, S-O-R...
The folks on the rooftop, R.Y...
Brothers and sisters on the run
And the family audiences! Everybody!
S-O-R-R-Y, sorry
Where did you go?
Nowhere. Just went out for a bit
What happened to your ass?
It's all swollen
Have you been misbehaving again?
Alright. I know what I'm doing
Alright alright, alright my foot!
It really stinks!
Ah Ya, Ya Ya Ya Ah Ah Ah...
The human race is on
the precipice of extinction
There's no one to help us
except ourselves
Let us put together
our wisdom and courage
To create a bigger robot
to meet this challenge
As our enemy is an unknown
We have no specific strategies
Here I entreat each
and every Earthling
To come up with your design
for the robot
The robot that you design...
Could very well be the nemesis of
the outerspace monster
That's right! It could be you!
Protect our Earth, our homeland!
Earth! Earth!
I will design a super robot
To protect the Earth and
save the human race
For wonton noodles, McKee
Go straight, turn left,
that's Ying Kee
For Tofu pudding, McKee
Go straight, make a turn,
that's Kai Kee
For fishballs and chicken feet, McKee
Go straight, cross the road,
that's Dull Jai Kee
For fish congee and
beef brisket, McKee
Kong Jai Kee, mail for you
Go straight, cross the road,
that's Sung Kee
Lee On Kee, mail for you
Hon Kee
Morning Morning
For sponge cakes, McKee
Go straight, turn left, that's Kun Kee
For baked pork chops
with fried rice, McKee
Chiu Fat, mail for you
Go straight, make a turn,
that's Bing Kee
What delicious fishballs
& chicken feet, McKee
Go straight, cross the road,
that's Dull Jai Kee
For foods that make you
feel full, McKee
Dull Jai Kee!
Hey! Watch out, four-eyes!
Let's get some ice cream
after the meal
(Three Days Ago)
Mcdull, hanging clothes?
Everybody eats!
Everybody eats!
You eat I don't eat!
You eat I don't eat!
Good, very good
The summer vacation
will begin in a few days
You have learned in
the previous year...
The fundamentals of salting fish...
Mixing fish meat and making fishballs
Next year
We will be teaching you
advanced skills in...
Salting fish, mixing fish meat
and making fishballs
There are summer courses
over the next two months...
In salting fish, mixing fish meat
and making fishballs
Which I urge you to join
You may return to your classrooms
Goodbye, Mr. Principal
Your fishballs are disgusting!
Don't you help out in your mom's shop?
No, she doesn't want me to
Says it's really hard work
All the more reasons to help her.
You're impossible
No. Mom wants me to spend more time...
On inventing a machine that
you just plug it in,
And fishballs will come out
There can never be such machines
Stop dreaming!
All the more reasons to invent it
I am an inventor
You ever saw an inventor...
That has a pig head on his neck?
Mcdull, hanging clothes?
Meal time!
Mom, come see my new invention.
Let's eat first.
When you eat fishball skewers
The skewer always gets your throat
at the last fishball
But if there are tines
on the skewer...
With one fishball on each tine...
Then your throat
won't get hurt. Right?
Like chicken feet? Right.
There are no such skewers. No?
Why don't you ask those factories?
OK. Let me write to them
Let's have dinner first! OK.
Mom, it's so good
Oh, right. Here
Eh? Science Duckling!
How did you know about this magazine?
Toto told me. He said...
Mom, look
This guy Newton, he's a pighead
And this Edison
Look, what a pighead
Read it after dinner, pighead
Mom, let's visit Toto tomorrow
It's OK. He said it's OK.
Mom, please!
(Two Days Ago)
Auntie Shrimp
Didn't you say you'd invent
something for me?
I'm working on it. Any day now
Mcdull, going to town?
That's fine. This came in two days ago
Guess what?
An electric nose hair shaver
Stick it inside your nostrils,
turn it on...
And it shaves off all your nose hairs
Here, remove the cover
And it becomes a peeler,
for potatoes, carrots...
Even the dead skin on your feet
Put the cover back on,
and it's a nose hair shaver again
Mom, let's buy this
Nose hair,
Potatoes and dead skin, three-in-one!
Oh, and this Military
strength light wave oven
It can roast chickens and
bake sweet potatoes
Ah, and this is even better!
Ever did the hula hoop sitting down?
Voila! Hula stool!
Sit on it, and the stool starts
twisting this way and that
Twisting this way and that
just like doing hula hoop
Exercising, eating
sweet potatoes and...
Foot massage, all at the same time!
Want to try?
Mom, I want to try
Here is the speed control
This knob controls the directions
Mom, this is great!
The Science Duckling has arrived
Thank you so much
Science Duckling is good stuff
If I didn't read it...
as a kid and...
Became interested in machines
and electronics
I'd still be salting fish
in the village
This silly boy
Said he wanted to become an inventor
An inventor?
Mcdull wants to become an inventor
I think I'm going to throw up milk
(One Day Ago)
Mcdull look. Newton,
he's not a pighead
And Edison, look
No way he looks like a pighead
Hello! I'd like some fishballs please
We got business!
One stick of fishballs please
Goodness, what is this?
Our invention, chicken feet fishballs
How very disgusting
OK, piggy
How about a stick without
the chicken feet?
Hey! We've got a problem!
Friend of the Earth,
Savior of the Universe
Superman, transform!
Choo...choo...choo...choo Gosh!
You know any inventor who's a retard?
So disgusting. I'm not eating it
Okay okay. Let's go to other shops
Did you see?
When I grow up I'll never
become a bitch!
(The Same Day)
Our invention, chicken feet fishballs
Yuck! How disgusting!
It's really ingenious
It won't poke your throat,
and you get a chicken paw
This is too disgusting. Let's go
Piggy piggy, don't be angry...
S! O! R! R! Y!
S! O! R! R! Y!
What you just saw wasn't
a television program
A little while ago
An outerspace monster invaded
our planet, wreaking havoc
And booted Spamerman,
our friend of peace and justice...
Out into outer space
I repeat
What you just saw wasn't some silly
program for the ignoramus
Attention, all pupils of
Fresh Fish Primary School
Attention, all pupils of
Fresh Fish Primary School
This is an emergency announcement
from the principal
All pupils please immediately
assemble in the playground
The Earth is at the precipice
of extinction!
As the supreme academy
of learning of this village
We also must do our share...
In this sacred mission
of saving the Earth
This summer's activities, including
salting fish and making fishballs,
will all be cancelled
Instead, we will design
fighting robots!
Your designs
Will enter the Global
Super Robot Competition
Your projects may be implemented...
To defeat the outerspace monster,
And save our planet!
Earth! Earth!
Earth! Earth!
I will design a super robot
To protect the human race,
and save the Earth!
Mom, we sent out
Our robot designs today
Really? What have you designed?
Why don't you first show it to mom?
My robot. He can do this
to the monster
What's that?
It's like this: chop chop chop chop!
Bong bong bong bong!
And cheeee! That'll get him
I don't think I get you
Do you think the monster
prefer rice or noodles?
How would I know?
But mom...
Do you know how the monster
Cuts his toenails?
His toenails must be
so big and thick...
Maybe with an electric saw?
Wow, he'll cut himself
Well, serves him right.
He's the monster
What if his ass itches?
What his ass itches?
I mean, the monster's arms
are so short
He can't reach his ass if it itches
What do you care about the monster
reaching his ass?
Right, mom! I have something for you
It's for you
Wow! Dried abalone
Good for braising chicken feet
Haha... I learned it from this edition
of Science Duckling
It's handmade soap
It'll make the skin of
your hands so smooth
But only for a while
No. Your hands will become
smooth forever
It's Newton's Law of Inertia!
Really? Why, thank you!
Now go to sleep
And you...
(One month later)
And now the good news
Results of the Global
Robot Design Contest
have come in
Out of the hundreds and
thousands of entries
A pupil of Fresh Fish
Primary School, Mcdull
Right. Mcdull of Dull Jai Kee
His design has been shortlisted
and given the go ahead to produce
a small robot from his design...
And take part in the Finals
at the renowned institution MI But...
who can help him make the robot?
We interviewed the only
expert in our village
Dull Jai Kee, that's awesome!
Hong Kee from Hong Kee
Hydroelectric Engineering Co.
I can only change lightbulbs
Maybe go into town and ask Toto?
No, I can't. How about Hong Kee?
That's all right
To get shortlisted
is already an amazing achievement
Here we congratulate Dull Jai Kee
Mrs. Mak, Mcdull...
What are your plans?
I have no plans.
We probably go out for a meal
Only a meal?
What more can I do?
Your legs are so smooth
There's not a hair on it
What kind of razor did you use?
Toto's nose hair shaver
And it gave you such smooth legs?
That's laser
Hair removal by laser,
mole removal too
Yes, I am a hermit scientist
I am quite capable of
making a small robot
But honestly
I'd spent all my money
on this laser machine
It will depend on you to foot
the bills for the robot
How much would that be?
Including parts, airfare,
room & board, etc.
80,000 to 100,000
80,000 to 100,000?
That's making an extra
10,000 catty of fishballs
Personally I'm not so keen
on all this trouble
But as I study Mcdull's design
Going over it again and again
I think
Perhaps Mcdull wasn't born
to be a scientific genius
His design may not save the Earth
But I think there's a very
special innocence...
About his views on technology...
And that more people
should know about it
I don't know how to say it
You're his mom, you call the shots
I am already dirt poor as it is
Don't worry. There's no interest.
Tell Mcdull to work hard
But that isn't right?
It's very right
Mama, Mama
Your eyes love me
You see me on Earth and in South Pole
Mama, Mama
You close your eyes and see me
You see me in dreams on a full moon
But one day I will drift away
From Nigeria to Antalya
But Mama, Mama
You will see me
See me on the Earth and in craters
Mcdull, you crying?
No...I got sand in my eyes...
From Tutunendo to Baltimore
But Mama, Mama
You close your eyes and see me
Make good!
You see me in dreams on a full moon
Mom loves you!
We are here at MIT, where
the Finals will take place
From up here we can see
The convoy arriving.
Carrying the robots
from around the world
What're you doing here
in the middle of the night?
Just those Earth things
What Earth things?
Don't ruin your brains
I'm OK. Go to sleep
Okay okay. Okay my foot
Protector of the Earth!
The ultimate union of
human intelligence and courage
The audience of the universe
by our witness
The Earth! The Good Fight!
The panel of judges,
Five-star Gen. O'Leannain
Dr. M, Dean of the MI Robot Research Institute
Mike Tiger, Six-time world
boxing champion
Wow! Awesome!
Mr. Principal, are we not
opening the box?
Wait until the competition begins
If it gets scratched
It'll be a disaster
The competition is in two rounds
The robots will go through tests
of stamina and endurance
The first five robots
to finish this part...
Will enter Round 2, The Fight
The winner will be
our best robot warrior
The final hope for
the Earth's salvation!
Mr. Principal, someone knocked
open the safety!
Auto heat preservation
The rice - is - ready!
Let's - eat!
Smells good! It's salted fish and rice
One of the contestants
is a rice cooker!
Dull Jai Kee!
Way to go! Yeah!
Final call, final call
All contestants to the starting line
Final call, final call
OK, ready
Looks like a storm is brewing
Let's go
Hand-held mode. 5 extra kilos
long grain rice
Risopot, you're on your own
Start now!
Boundless sea and open sky,
here I come
I can't slow down,
got to save the human race
Across the universe,
througout the galaxy
I anwser my duties and heed my calls
Hardship and deprivation, here I come
I train harder, to get me stronger
My courage is tall, it reaches the sky
My legs are mighty, strong and sturdy
They say I am fleshy
Sure I can down thirty bowls of rice
But no I am not a pot of rice
My name is Risobot
I kick your stumps and knee your lungs
I am fearless, I take on savagery
I am strong like a wild beast
I eat lots of rice,
every day's a feast
Loneliness and darkness, here I come
I clear away the fog
with my death ray gun
Who else but me in the galaxy
Singular, exceptional, anomalous
Who else but me in the galaxy
Singular, exceptional, anomalous
Who else but me in the galaxy
Have the stomach for
a full bucket of rice
Already a robot is approaching
the first charging station
No wonder its inventor is
West Point's youngest cadet
This robot is so nasty
Not only are the robots
running out of energy
There's also thunder and
lightning in the sky
I think we better leave
No, wait
Gosh! It's seafood tempura rice
Thank you, Risopot
It's late. Children should go to bed
But we haven't brushed our teeth yet
Because we don't have toothbrushes
We'll get cavities
So troublesome.
Let's go ask someone then
McDull, it's OK. Go to sleep
Go to sleep
I want a midnight snack
You're on your won
They are back!
The last robot to make it to Round 2
That's it.
I don't see any robot behind us
The result is standing right here!
Ladies and gentlemen,
the Earth Warrior is born!
Let's get back to
the hotel first and find out
Hey, want to get a hotdog?
It's that rice cooker again
There's just a little rice left.
There's no time. Get some water
Risopot! More water!
It's riceless congee from
Guangdong province
The winner! Risopot is the winner!
Time and again Risopot...
Challenges my limit of
rational thinking
I believe that any invader...
Coming up against such
an unpredictable opponent...
Will surely be roundly defeated
The designer of Risopot...
Will have all of Earth's resources
at his disposal
To create a bigger...
and more powerful robot for humanity
The fate of life on Earth,
is now in your hands!
Goodness! Isn't that Pighead Dumpling?
Ha ha ha ha
How are you doing lately?
Good, quite good
Still chewing chicken feet? Ha ha ha
Busying about what? Laser? Ha ha ha
More or less
You just won't give up
Suk Yin... How is she?
Oh, we broke up
When did that happen?
Ancient history now.
Don't let it trouble you
Let's get some hotdogs
Suk Yin, I miss you so much!
Suk Yin, I'll always love you!
Congee King,
already famous for their...
Fresh ingredients and
hand-made fishballs...
Presents their newest
"Riceless Congee Hotpot stock"
So good! So delicious!
Slow down, Mrs. Mak
Can't. I owe people lots of money
Why is the new robot called Risobot?
Right, Mrs. Mak
We've been here a few days
but never saw Chief Mak
What Chief Mak?
The chief designer, Mcdull
So, let's run down to Congee King!
For reservations,
please call 2587-5116!
Chief Mak!
Chief Mak! They already started
The Gucci people say...
they'll personally take
your measurements
They say no people could be
in such shape
Let me finish the theme music
Uncle Fai, let's try this
And then, DaDaDaDaDa
What music is this? It's just DaDaDaDa
That's what Beethoven did
That's fine. Just leave it to me
Thank you, Uncle Fai
The cheerleaders are ready;
Uniforms are almost confirmed
The theme music is done. We're all set
But we haven't started on the robot
April, do you have any skirts?
Skirts? All girls have skirts
April, are you free tomorrow?
Why? You asking me for a date?
Yes. Let's hang out tomorrow
I want to join
Reporters. Let's get out of here
Oh, they...
Just in time. I am about to close shop
We'd like...
Chicken feet fishballs, our specialty
What are you looking for?
I want to get my clothes
I haven't washed them
It's OK. I'll do it myself
Sure you'll do it
Your daughter?
What daughter? This is my son
So this is Mcdull?
The destiny of planet Earth
is now in the hands of...
The pighead in a wig?
High-tech my foot. So slow
April, these pants are too tight
That's why they are called tights
Hong Kee, I think we're all set
C'mon Risobot, start the engine!
Not quite yet
I'd gone over your design many times
And still couldn't figure it out
But I'll install the functions
you want...
into Risobot
Risopot will connect to Risobot's
central nervous system...
To become Risobot's brains
You must teach Risopot properly
Because only Risopot
can make heads and tails...
Out of your balderdash design
Now go!
Mr. Principal, I want to go pee!
Mr. Principal, I want to go pee!
Mr. Princiapl, I want to go pee!
Breaking news. The outerspace monster
has launched...
An attack on Didiland, wreaking havoc
The army is fighting back,
but it's a struggle
Monster, it's true that
we lost to a rice cooker
But we are no scrap metal!
What a stink!
Astronomers have been sending...
SOS's to Spamerman
But his answer was...
I have some domestic issues that
need taking care of
Maybe next time! S.O.R...
Looks like our last hope in
saving the Earth...
Is our ultra super robot...
But where is Risobot?
And how powerful is he?
All these remain unknown
Careful when you cross the road
Careful when you cross the road
Hold your hands and make good friends
Hold your hands and make good friends
The rooster crows, croak croak croak
The rooster crows, croak croak croak
Get out of bed and go to school
No, don't get out of bed.
I'm just saying it
Oh, just saying it
Be a host and share your food
Oh, rice balls!
With salty fish inside!
That monster...
would he like rice balls?
I think he might
What kind of rice should we use?
Right... Not sure if they can
grow rice in outerspace
And... Itchy asses?
His hands are so short,
how does he reach over?
General, 100 days. It's a promise
Lenni, are you OK?
Yes father!
Wonderful! Dr. M!
Credits to your decoy, General
The rice cooker...
gets all the media attention...
When this is over,
please apologize for me
to your old friend
Old friend?
Ha ha ha ha
Why did you take my light ray gun
to roast chicken?
Light ray guns are made
to roast chickens
Suk Yin... is mine
I object!
Mr. Principal, how much longer?
What? Another 100 days?
Not days, years.
100 years? That's not possible
Unless we switch to manual operation
But where can we find
a team that has...
Stamina, perseverance and explosion?
We collect bad debts,
Isn't that explosive?
We mix a hundred catty
of fishballs a day
Isn't that perseverance?
What about us old folks?
Honestly, we are the world's
10 richest men
With us Big Ten working together
There aren't many things
that can stand in our way
OK... have you eaten dinner?
What? Yes
Take off your clothes
Our pants too?
Gosh! What smooth legs!
Didn't you have your meals?
Where's your strength?
Finally, Risopot has
transformed into Risobot
The fate of the Earth is in your hands
The moon is so beautiful tonight
Uncle Fai, please
The long-awaited savior
of the Earth...
Robot Risobot will make his
appearance any time now
Oh. They are wearing wigs
The world's ten richest men,
who disappered for a while...
Have surfaced here
tolend their support
Start the engine
Risobot, blow the whistle
Hey! Hurry!
Get ready for taking off!
Mcdull, go for it!
It's getting really close to
the presidential palace
Where the president is meeting...
with other world leaders
Is it really going to be the end?
Engage! 100 degrees! 300CC!
Target! Go!
Three minutes. We can eat now
Prepare for landing
You are here
Start the engine
30 degree, spin speed
1,000rpm, Eco function
Really? A washing machine?
We have time. Let Risobot say hi...
To the planet's TV audiences
The camera is over there
Risobot, how are you? I am fine
How are you? I am fine
How are you? I am fine
Breaking news from
the Department of Defence...
Their secret weapon, the super
robot Leosisto Senior is ready
It is the culmination of...
man's fighting powers...
And is now ready to take
on the outerspace monster
Let's try ours.
If it fails, we go to
your washing machine
Yes, teacher!
Mr. Principal, we're off now.
We have major responsibilities
Study hard.
Come work in my wig factory
when you grow up
Monster, your acts of aggression
are despicable and vulgar
But in the name of peace,
I am willing to let you go
But you must apologize
to the Earthlings.
Now say sorry!
S.O.R.R.Y! Sorry!
The TV audiences
Gosh! You crying?
Cross the road
Be careful
Hold your hands
Make good friends
The fate of the Earth is in your hands
That's Leosisto's under...
Start the turbine!
Be a host
Share your food
It drank, it's dead meat!
Fresh egg tarts!
Suk Yin, 30 long years...
Risobot, the laser gun
It's burnt!
Protect the president
Risobot, the rooster crows.
Rise and shine...
croak croak. croak croak. croak croak.
Risobot, blow the whistle
It's useless.
Mr. Principal?
We're out of power.
Unless there are power banks...
Oh, you mean those?
See? we are not scrap metal
But power bank bank bank...
Risobot, start the engine!
It's Beethoven
No, it's pighead's...Dadada
Buttock, Buttock
Buttock, Buttock
Twist your buttock
Comfy, comfy
Oink, zzz
Hi everyone, it's me again
The ambassador of peace,
the personification of justice
From the Planet Galanta, Spamerman
I have devised a new move:
The Upside-down Sausage...
To take care of the monster
But guess I am a little late
the Upside-down Sausage...
What a bummer. So why don't I...
Engage my beautiful voice to
relieve you of your doldrums
Uncle Fai, please
The mountain is quiet and
the moon is alone, remember
There's passion in the heart
The wind passes and
the flower wilts, remember
The passion in my heart will not die
Remember our dinner, Mcdull
(A Year Later)
(Early Spring)
Afterwards you said you wanted to die
Love dissipates but my heart remembers
How you suddenly
open your heart, in tears
It's really in the doldrums
A year went by.
The monster has not returned
Normalcy returns
And it's like nothing
has ever happened
But where has Risobot gone?
Nobody knows
Why did the designer Mcdull...
Invent this piece of
home applicance...
to challenge the monster?
Nobody understands
People return to work or school
But everyone feels a little depressed
Everyone is missing Risobot
After our feast
your thoughts turned dark
Love dissipates but my heart remembers
Then one day
A robot received a broken message...
From some stars or planets
The experts patched it together,
and it said...
Mr. Principal, Mcdull, friends,
this is Risobot
I am now living on
the monster's planet. I am well
They like me a lot,
and using my designs...
Invented many vacuum cleaners,
ventilators and massagers
Their days are quiet
and they are happy
So they stay home and
stop invading other planets
They also started growing rice
The first harvest is expected
this autumn
If there's anything missing here...
Here they have nine suns, but no moon
What I miss most, is the Earth
And the moon hanging over the slopes
The experts are divided over
this message
Some say it's authentic,
some say no...
And consider it Risobot's
thought remnants...
While Risobot has long
become space rubbish
But Dull Jai Kee, Mcdull,
is convinced that...
The one thing most worthy of pursuit,
Is to let you and the people
around you live a good life
They'd include: Monster, Spamerman
Uncle Dragon...
Gen. O'Leannain...
Dr. M...
Suk Yin...
The Principal...
Auntie Shrimp...
Hong Kee...
Uncle Fai...
Miss Chan...
The President...
Risobot, thank you!
We will live a good life...
Mcdull! When I grow up I'll marry you!