Meet the Malawas (2019) Movie Script
1
Take your time.
Be back home.
For a while,
Just be okay.
Today, more than ever,
Humans must learn
to live with nature again.
Thats why since 4 years, the program
"Encounters at the end of the end of the world"
invites you to discover all
those civilisation, landscapes
and animals frozen in time.
For Christmas, we will invite not
one, not two, not three,
but four exceptional guests.
He eat with you during more than 20 years.
The star presenter of the echoes,
JGG, Julien Grosset-Grainville.
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening.
She is "Vro la vto", the veterinary
who talks to animals
in the television series
number one in France.
- The indomitable Nathalie Dulac!
- It escapes me !
Sraphin, behave!
The beast of the "stand-up" that is
about to hit it on the Stade de France.
The king of comedy,
- the matchless, Sam!
- It was great!
But its not milk.
Thirty-two goals with the "bleus"
and a Champions League with Atltica.
The national team's mascot,
'AND! Matador ', Kvin Kerguellec!
To what part of the world
will our stars travel?
Who or what will they meet?
They will find out as soon as
your plane has taken off,
and you, on December 25th.
"Encounters at the end of the end of the world.
Christmas special .
- On the left!
- Now it is OK! I have seen it.
- I know to read.
- Well, you never know.
You promised me that when you hung up
boots we would go back to Biarritz.
I have not hung up my boots,
I was fired at twenty-two
for a blonde who doesn't even
know the capital of Mongolia.
Uln Bator. Do you find it difficult
Uln Bator? Even a child knows.
I don't understand how you agree to participate
on such a tacky show.
Are you kidding me?
It is the program of the moment,
everyone wants to do it.
Can you imagine the Christmas special?
I'm not talking to you about Encounters in the end
of the end of the world,
I'm talking about the telemarketing.
To regain the most important thing
is to stay on the springboard.
And skip a
and again and again.
I'm leaving for a few days,
don't worry.
Carry the backpack on your back
and a few more things.
A travel diary
to sing my stories.
I carry everything I need
in my backpack!
In order to!
I don't have my passport.
Turn around!
What?
THE SURVIVAL MANUAL
Julien. You are here already?
Well of course!
- It's still early.
- No, let me explain.
Of the four that go with you,
I'm the best.
I'll be the one to find the totem.
Julien, these are not
some vacations.
Listen ... I'll tell you what, Poli.
At fifty nine
every day is a vacation.
Hey? Come on, get going.
I'm taking the bag.
Tell short to fuck
the yellow suitcase.
Who is Short?
Hey, you take it.
LA VETE came.
Marc, you know what?
I have forgotten the pass ...
I've been gone ten minutes.
I know.
Don't screw me, Marc!
You asked me to marry me three days ago!
I know. I know and I am very sorry.
I mean, I was very sure
that you were gone.
Wouldn't it be better to prepare the tour
before I go camping
with that cocoon of Lo Poli?
They have only been sold
a third of the entries.
You have no choice, Sam.
Why? Why don't they run out?
Why don't they run out?
Note that
the Stade de France is huge.
People are screwed, they don't have a penny,
and they end up laughing less.
Who laugh less? No way!
Yes they laugh!
Of course they laugh and a lot,
But it's an inside laugh
A silent laugh.
What's about you? It bothers you?
No no no ! I say that to laugh in silence
no need to go to the Stade de France.
Don't take it! You promised
that you will go to is Basketball match.
MY SON, MY FIGH- It was this weekend.
- Oh shit!
No!
LOST CALL
How could I forget?
Why did I agree to come to this circus?
I hate traveling.
How are you?
Lo Poli!
- Oh, the great Lo Poli!
- Welcome, Sam.
I want to go
on vacation with you.
I love your program. It's great.
It's cool, but ... it's not milk.
- Sam!
- Hi.
I present to you Nico,
your suitcase and mine.
Hi. But ... Sam,
you know than you have to go alone.
How? We are nail and flesh.
Sam, you see,the point of the show
It is that you go out on your own.
- Come now! Really?
- Yes really.
One moment.
Can it be cut?
Cut a second.
What is all this? Never in the life
I've gone nowhere alone
Did you never do fildtrip as a kid ?
Why are you laughing? Who is it?
The jokes are made by me
It is clear?
What a nightmare!
JGG!
JGG!
- Oh, how glad I am!
- Sam ...
- Ladies and gentlemen, good evening.
Listen, it's great ...
But its not milk!
- If you do better than me!
- No, I would like more.
- Yes, you nailed it!
- Of course.
Let me pass
I am Nathalie Dulac!
Do not you recognize me?
Don't you watch TV?
Nathalie, what is going on?
Let her pass, it's Nathalie Dulac.
- What did I tell you?
- Sorry, Nathalie.
Poli, I'm so happy to go!
Nathalie.
- Are you drunk?
- Are you smoking?
Hey, what about your luggage?
Travel without luggage
is to travel from the heart.
-Oh yeah? Bring here.
Nathalie, what a joy!
Ah, Mr. Grainville.
Tell me, is it true that you go
to work in a telemarketer?
Holy God...
- I love the telemarketing.
- Ah, well.
Where's my Nathalie Dulac?
How excited I was
to meet "La Veto"!
Who is it?
You know, Sam ... Our Sam.
Ah yeah sure! Forgiveness.
Is that you seem much older
in person.
- Well not so much.
- It will be that you also appear your age.
Let it be.
That has been ugly,
- Do you mind if we repeat it?
- No way.
Try to have a better roll between
you, more spirit of ... sorry.
I have to take it.
YES? YES.
Good. I am Gronimo.
You can call me Jerome. Or Gg.
- 0r we will not call you at all.
- Who cares?
- Come on, let's go. Here.
- Voucher.
- It should have arrived three hours ago!
- I know, Julien.
Excuse me, you must board now.
- Well, let's go.
- Wait, no, no.
Anyway, I don't want my
image is associated with that crust.
I don't feel like it either
to travel with him.
- Attentive, it's coming!
- What?
Camera, camera, camera!
Go!
Recording.
Hey!
- Yes sir!
- I am sorry. I am sorry.
- Kevin.
- Welcome, Kvin.
For a hair, huh?
Tell me, where are you going in that costume?
Is it carnival?
No, it is not a costume. It's ... It's my ...
my normal everyday clothes.
I think the black in southern Africa,
It is not a good idea.
- Do you know where we are going?
- Yes.
- Sure, to Africa.
- What!
Listen Julien, it was me who
I should tell you on the plane!
My son ... I've been twenty-five
years in this environment.
The news goes to me
I don't even have to look for them.
Sure, I'm twenty-five too
years in this world and did not know.
- Because I did not know it?
- You didn't know, because ...
get information from a koala
or a guinea pig is not easy.
- Because you are "La Vto"!
- Come on, come on, come on.
- Adventure!
- Yes!
- "El Matador" himself!
- Yes.
Espera... Un momento.
Will there be whales?
No. Sorry to tell you, Kvin.
Oh no? It is that a little bird has told me
that you were swimming among whales.
- And whales drive me crazy.
- No way. No no no no.
This time we will meet the tribe
most isolated on the planet.
It is a pity. Do not go away!
- Wait!
- The Malawas.
Give me an Ayurvedic gum,
you want?
How the hell did he know about the whales?
What a nightmare!
- A little reading, sir?
- Cool! That's great.
Thanks.
- And that? Don't we travel first?
- Don't remind me, they have me fried.
- We are in business with the commoners.
- Well, guys, let's go on an adventure.
Camera, recording.
The time has come to say goodbye
of civilization.
Take your mobiles
and put them in that bag.
- With great pleasure.
- There it goes.
- This is going to be the hardest.
- All right, guys. Turn off cameras
Make yourself comfortable and enjoy the flight.
Hey, Gigi. Give it back, will you?
Come on, it was just for the outtakes.
- Wasn't it for the outtakes?
- No not at all. This is serious.
I can't go eight days without my mobile.
'Fifteen days:
'What!? '
- You're on the cover of the Voici!
- What?
You did not know?
NATHALIE AND MARC ARE GETTING MARRIED!
You are about to get married.
It is always exciting to be on the cover.
I've already been eight. And two naked.
Will you invite me?
Gg, turn it on now.
Sam, we are about to take off.
It is time for you to meet the destination.
Needless. We go to Tikilele.
Yes, Julien has already told me.
Are you going to be recording me all the time?
Cut now! That we are on the plane.
Oh Lord. Excuse me,
Can I ask you for a vodka?
- Of course Mr.
- Make it two. Serve me another.
Won't you have a Grand Bordeaux?
Chateau Latour? Ptrus?
- If you want I can bring you the gray hair.
- The first,
because the one here is pitiful.
Wait! And a Red Bu ",
with chips !.
I shouldn't have listened to the network.
What a journey awaits us!
What a nightmare.
As you say "what a nightmare" again,
you're going to get out of the plane through the toilet.
- I'm going to the economy class.
- Well.
Ay ay ay!
- How are you? All good?
- Get me out of here!
Is it normal that there is no belt?
Nat, do you mind if we change?
- Easy, it's just turbulence.
- Here. I leave you mine.
- But it will be useless, man!
- Breathe, there is less.
The production team!
They will cross the desert.
And at night we will get together
with the rest of the team.
- If I had known, I would have gone with them!
- With gusts of wind
that they will have to endure,
you will be much better with us.
Hold on tight!
We have to descend!
Let me out!
Okay, but ... it's not milk.
See the luck we have.
Nature in all its splendor
welcomes us.
An Ayurvedic chewing gum?
I present to you Wokabi,
our new guide.
It is a dream to have him,
since he is the only foreigner
to be accepted by the Malawas.
Hey, don't go!
I have left the bag.
I am not surprised, they will have taken him
for a pineapple with those hairs.
It looks like a shower curtain.
I speak fifteen languages.
This pineapple hairstyle is the symbol
belonging to my tribe.
And the shower curtain,
our traditional warrior habit.
Red as the wrath of our god.
Oh! Forgive me, I have left
one thing in the car. I'll be right back.
Well, time wise,
What do you predict us?
It was a surprise.
I feel like I fit in with the country
although my skin is too white,
- but inside I'm black.
- Do not worry dear.
In two hours you won't be white
nor black, you will just be red.
See this?
I only bring one,
and I am delighted to share.
No. I want to break away from all the tricks
of our consumer society.
- Perfect!
- There I must give you the reason.
Bring, I already have burns
Second grade!
Yes but pay attention, i only have three.
Oh shit.
Look where.
A box of twenty?
Listen, don't get your hopes up.
That is not what it seems.
Reporter's rule number one
is to always carry your passport with you,
fifty bucks in cash
and penicillin.
They do not get wet and on top ... they float.
Shit! That fish just
to pull my passport!
It's a bastard!
Doesn't anyone have a harpoon? A harpoon?
Do you have a ...
Do you have a harpoon?
Welcome to Africa.
Hey, Papa Smurf, is there much left?
We are soon arrived,
but it still really far.
Ah good.
Left foot, right foot,
heel down.
We support and push
to the big toe.
Left foot, right foot,
heel down.
Are you going to be like this all the way?
How jealous
One hundred percent detoxifying.
The heat makes us expel
all the garbage in the body.
I want to sit down
in the hotel pool.
What are you talking about, Kvin?
There is no hotel.
- There is no hotel? That is a good one.
- Have you never seen the show?
-No?
Well, we are going to a tribe of primitives
and therefore we sleep with them.
And with whales?
Have you ever slept with whales?
- No, Kvin.
- Wow, man.
I do not understand how he could put
so many goals, being so short.
For more turns that I give,
I can't understand it.
My feet hurt.
What's that noise?
- They are waiting for us.
- Excuse.
We are almost in a state of weightlessness.
And thirsty.
Lost among the plateaus
from Tikilele and the Duakip desert.
A group of natives
comes to meet us.
You could have told us
to bring mountain shoes.
Our guests
they are impatient.
Impatient, my balls.
Are you going to help me or not?
An exceptional encounter
with exceptional people.
I am beginning to be exhausted.
We're...
We are very honored to meet you.
Thank you for receiving.
Good.
Look at them how handsome
with their head of a jug.
I feel like they spy on me
through the keyhole.
Delighted, I am Kvin. Not?
Do not be afraid.
I'm sorry.
They gave me much less fear
with the mask.
- Where are you going?
- To me, it seems
they says welcome
to the woman with golden hair.
- They've never seen a blonde woman.
- Oh, I understand.
This ... good morning.
Haunted.
I still don't understand you
but he translates for me.
It's nice, huh? I already know it.
Hello!
Ah, finally.
I am enjoying this ride
by the Countryside. Huh, Tokapi?
- Wokabi. Wokabi.
- Look, let's do one thing.
I'll call you Jeff, like my son-in-law,
whom I love very much.
This is easier.
I will be Julien and you will be Jeff.
- I prefer Wokabi.
- All right, Jeff. Go.
Where are you going?
They are killing my feet.
I don't move from here.
Come on, Gg!
Run Run Run!
Record it!
We have arrived.
It was time.
This is paradise.
Hello. How's it going? Good.
Hey, that's mine. Hi, ma'am.
It is far, but it is beautiful.
Moni onji.
Uh ... Muli. Buanyi.
Yina landa.
Endi Julien. Julien.
Ende konduera cucu ywan.
Cucu yiwanii!
Ah, didn't I get it right?
I would say that you have left a tick.
I was speaking in Chichewa,
the language of the Malawians.
- It has nothing to do with ours.
- Really?
Well anyway
it never hurts to know.
Helps you communicate, huh?
Gg?
Ah, finally. Someone important.
Excuse me. I introduce myself, Sam.
Head of humor.
Alright. Agree.
- Budan?
- Bhoo 'Din means "sun".
Well thanks.
Fortune has given us
this unique spiritual moment.
Nathalie, what do you think of it?
I feel like it has occurred
an inexplicable connection
between you and the village children.
I feel great emotion.
What bothers me is ...
Hey guys!
They have adobe balls!
Wow, they are amazing!
I'm not done yet.
Soccer is life.
Bring people closer,
whatever your culture.
That is not a ball.
It's a ball of zebra droppings.
They use them as fertilizer.
Pitas, pitas, pitas!
Why do they do that?
Is there a problem?
He who dares to address the shamans
when he arrives, he brings with him an evil eye.
It's the Krabou!
I wouldn't want to be in your shoes, friend.
You screwed up but good!
I'm not the Krabou, I'm Sam!
Krabou! It's a Krabou!
Krabou! Krabou!
I Krabou!
With all my love.
Tell me, what is your name, my son?
What? I'll call you Jeff like everyone else.
This is easier.
Here, Jeff. For me Jeff.
And you'll be Francoise, okay?
I HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN WHERE I WAS GOING!
For you, Francoise. For Francoise.
Francoise. Jeff.
For Jeff. For little Jeff.
Hi Julien. You are aware
that they can't read?
- And much less in French?
- Of course, but look at them.
They are delighted
and they have a great time!
No, it's the photos
what interests them.
They hang them up and make voodoo with them.
What are you saying?
Wait! Give them back to me.
Come on, Jeff, give it to me.
Give them all to me!
- Just kidding.
- Do not tell him.
Hey, check this out, guys!
I have caught a Pokmon!
Haven't you had enough
with bringing the Krabou?
This will be your home.
It's better than I expected.
Dont you think?
Welcome to the home of the Malawas.
for this meeting
at the end of the end of the world.
And ... how do we sleep?
Exact!
- That's.
- Ok ... if I sleep,
I already know how to do it.
The question is where we sleep.
In fact, Nathalie,
the malawas do not have
the concept of bed.
They sleep where they want, where they can,
when they are tired.
- Wow, it's fascinating.
- Okay, it's simple and practical.
It is minimalist,
no mattresses or sheets.
And also they have nothing to wash,
It's ... it's revolutionary.
- And respects the environment.
- It's true, well seen.
Way to go, malawas!
Do you see it? You always learn
something new.
From this moment on, our
boys will live like malawas.
Giving up comfort,
to materialism.
In union with nature.
Hey, Lo, leave it to me, you'll see.
I'm sorry.
I'm in? Well.
From this moment,
we give up any comfort.
Ready to live like ours
friends the malawas.
Don't you feel the excitement?
Whenever I see you, it seems that you are
about to send me to the horn.
No not at all. Cut, cut.
It is done.
- Congratulations on the hut, it's great.
- How cool?
- I can't take another second here!
- Don't be too hasty, Sam ...
I don't want to sleep among millions
of tiny critters!
Tiny nothing, Sam.
Cockroaches carry license plates
how big they are.
- Could you put a carpet for us?
- That.
Can i ask for a room
for me alone?
Now let's leave
that you settle down, okay?
And as the Malawas say:
Otanga, good night.
Otanga, what does it mean
"good evening".
- Bye.
- Okatanga.
Are we going to stay here?
Sounds good to all of you?
Well that, okatanga.
Who will sleep tonight
like an otter?
Its me.
- Oh! This is milk!
- Man, what a fool!
Nat, if you feel like it, I can make you
a gap, respecting the distance.
I find it more interesting
sleep like them.
Then you tell me
at dawn.
Let's go there!
Yes, you keep dreaming.
How comfortable is this!
I can not anymore.
He's been snoring all night.
I hadn't had so much pain in my ears
from Shakira's concert.
- Do they really drink zebra milk?
- Yes, it is delicious.
- Wow! Like an Oreo shake?
- That's cool!
I'm lactose intolerant.
I do not digest milk.
Excuse me, boss.
I think I'll have a coffee
because that ... is not going to be.
I also.
- What has come?
- Who is Marc?
Marc is you, come on.
- There you have it.
- Hey, I'm Kvin.
Don't be smart, Marquitos,
you just follow the roll.
Thanks.
- Burning!
- It's freshly milked.
- Yeah, sure.
- It's good.
Something salty.
And he has a little taste for ...
- To what, Marc?
- Milk?
Is this female milk
or male?
Wow!
But, it is perfect, very good.
- Never do that gesture again.
- Because?
It is a terrible insult. Means:
"May your anus never close!"
- Well, what a Calvary.
- There's no need to be like that.
I say it in a good mood.
That is even worse!
It means: "I put you
two fingers in the nose
and I take your brain out to give it to him
to eat hippos. "
You have a very graphic language.
Yes! Through signs, sounds
and words, we understand each other.
I'm going to keep my hands
agree? The covered hands.
- Kvin, don't move anymore.
- Forget the "rock, paper, scissors."
Marc means "zebra" in Malawa.
- And marc means "zebra milk."
- In agreement.
Yes, why not?
Yeah I guess it's so gross
how to spread butter
on a chocolate toast.
Good Morning!
Thanks.
- Bug!
- One second. Now we come.
- Did you sleep well?
- Like a baby, my friend.
- I have settled in perfectly.
- Not much for me.
- A hotel would have been better.
- I bring you good news.
- We have spoken with production.
- I knew there was coverage.
- No, it's a satellite phone.
- Do you have a phone?
Yes, but only for emergencies.
That is good to know.
Apparently the team is
in the middle of a storm ...
- Of sand. Of sand.
- So they'll be delayed for a day or two.
- Two.
- Not!
- And my bags?
- But Julien, what about your giant backpack?
In my backpack I only carry the bed!
- Dont be like that.
- I don't get like that!
- And what is the good news?
- The good news is that Gg,
has been far-sighted and has brought
replacement batteries.
So we will continue recording.
The only thing, that we will have
than to stay one or two more days.
Impossible. I have to go to an osteopath
for back problems.
I don't want to tell you my life
but the guy is a genius.
But you have to make an appointment
one month in advance.
Tell me that I have
a Bar Mitzvah in Dubai.
Do you think I'm going to miss it?
Look, do what you want.
I ... Are you coming with me?
Because, after all,
you are all the same.
- Do you find it funny that it falls?
- Not.
Me neither.
The malawas feed
mainly jamb.
Although they also use its shell
to make masks.
It is the women's who
collect the jamb.
That! Where are the men? Hey?
-Go on, Gg, record it!
Nathalie ...
One second. While they
they kill themselves to collect jamb,
the men go hunting gazelles
to the tribe next door.
It is the same in all breads.
Family, love, respect ...
They are the values that have been instilled in us,
But the reality is different.
The man is a pig,
since the beginning of time.
There, cut it now! Cut it now!
Cut it now! Cut it now!
Cut it now! Cut it now!
Cut it now! Cut it now!
Cut it now! Cut it now!
- What was that?
- Don't see how the nettles sting!
What happens? What does it say?
He said: "Hush, we're hunting."
Pikachu! If you see any white,
let me know, okay?
Not! Don't go in there!
No, huh! Out, out Watch.
Not! They have beds!
What bastards!
Yes!
There is dirt all over the place.
The houses, the roads, the people,
all dirt.
Morocco gives it a thousand turns.
Well, you will find an excuse,
nothing happens!
Tell him my uncle is dead.
It's okay.
And don't forget to call him.
Fuck me!
There is a monkey in front of me!
And his pinecones are so long that he goes
sweeping the floor with them.
Monito!
No, I am not talking to you.
Find me a flight as soon as possible!
I don't care if it's economy class!
No, not in economy class.
What does he mean by the comb?
Whoops, wait ...
It means that the honor
It's yours, Julien.
'Mine?
'Yes!
Mine. Well great.
Thanks for the pressure.
Nor is it that I have
a lot of illusion to eat lynx.
I read that for the Egyptians,
the lynx was sacred.
No, it wasn't the lynx, but the sphinx.
Let's say I haven't hunted for a long time
with bow to feed me you know
Give to me. This is El Matador's thing.
You are going to see the athlete.
I haven't missed a shot
in my entire career.
Do you hear it? I have given!
I have given! Ha!
I kicked his ass.
Hey, that screech is so weird.
Wow, you could have
made with the foot.
Oh shit!
I'm really sorry!
How do you say:
"Maybe you were too close"?
Excuse me. Are you okay?
- Stop making gestures, jolines!
- I just said I'm sorry!
Run, Kvin!
Jerome! Jerome, come.
Yes, Krabou, understood.
We will record all
my sequences now
and then you will assemble them together
with the rest.
- I have to go before.
- You can't go before, Sam.
Can't you
enjoy this?
Listen, my uncle is dead.
Do you know what it is to die?
It's fucked up, okay?
Do you think it amuses me
do this now?
- Is your uncle dead?
- Yes, yesterday morning!
Lie, at night. Voucher?
From a disease. Come on, record.
- I go.
'Clever?
Well.
It's over.
The time has come to leave.
To abandon the Malawas.
A town that has welcomed me
with open arms.
His people, his character, his smiles. "
Your values. The value,
the value of adobe, even.
That adobe that we don't have.
Here I feel much more human.
Far from human comedy ...
Here I feel much more human.
Far from human comedy ...
"Sam, Sam, a picture!"
"Sam, Sam, a selfie!"
Oh Sam, I always see you! "
"How handsome you are, Sam!"
"Sam, you are our god!"
I am not a god. God is there.
With my brothers and sisters.
It won't be easy at all
leave all this.
The earth.
Cut! What? Well, not?
It was great!
Come, follow me.
We are going to record Pikachu.
It is coming.
Hey!
Thanks for the pipe!
It is luxurious!
To your health.
You know what? I think the shaman
has you in the spotlight.
- Not to mention you.
- Hey, not even in dreams.
Men are like prawns.
Nobody wants the head, only the tail.
Because you said so?
Look at your boy, Marc.
- He's handsome, smart ...
- Pass the pipe.
I find him savvy,
elegant, nice.
Leo. Shut your mouth.
No, if in the end you are going to be right.
Sometimes it helps to vent.
You know that I consider myself
a citizen of the world.
Deep down I am Christopher Columbus
21st century.
- You lived in Paris, right?
- Let's say I share a flat.
- With my mother.
- Ah, it's very good.
Oh Lord!
How nice to be here!
Your arm is full of shit!
! Ow!
This is blessed glory!
"Well that's good!
- You're in the shit!
- Your turn.
I go!
The Phantom of the Opera!
I don't see shit!
Where are the clothes?
Are you serious?
- Come here! Hey!
- Lo?
- Go. Come on, give me!
- Lo, are you kidding?
- Come on, give me! No, my hair!
- Lo?
Bug shit!
My hair!
Lo? This is crazy!
They have been about to kill us!
What a shit ...!
Leo. Lo? Hello?
Is there someone?
Lo?
Lo?
How disgusting I have you.
Lo?
What a mess you have thrown yourself!
Where is that asshole? Lo?
Lo! Lo!
Come on, I still have to say goodbye ...
What the fuck is that?
Come. Look, there is the boss.
Boss! You arrive in good time.
By the way, how do you say
"boss" in malawa?
Mapongo, great.
And how do you say "goodbye"?
I make up. Is always the same
word, mapongo.
And now I would like to say:
"i leave but I'll come back,
because it has been great,
thank you, but it was not milk. "
Papapapango!
Almost the same as popopongo,
it is too simple a language,
although practical, it must be said.
No, mapango means you have
the Mapongo worm on top.
You must stay still
or it will eat your brain.
You've had a ring.
Hey! You were fantastic!
I want to go home!
I have the toupees in the car.
Fuck, Gigi, where have you been?
They should first leave
of trying to kill us.
On the contrary, they just wanted to save you
of the lemonade snake.
Where are you?
But what...?
Lo?
- Lo?
- Leo?
No sign of Lo.
It is possible that...
If you let me?
That our friend had
a fatal encounter.
A black mamba,
a spotted hyena ...
By now it is likely
that he died an atrocious death.
It's hard to say because ...
we held him in very high esteem.
But you have to accept reality.
- Hey, Julien. That was not funny.
- I don't mean to be funny!
Maybe he has gone looking
to the rest of the team.
Naked? Has been left
clothes by the pond
Give to me.
Don't you have an elephant that can detect
our friend for the smell of his clothes?
Nerd. Don't give it to him!
Now you will not be able to recover it.
Everything you give the shaman
it is considered a gift.
Oh yeah? Like my brother!
The boss says Lo must have
lost, don't worry.
The bonfire light
will guide you to us
and then we'll laugh together
sheltered from the stars.
Well to tell the truth, a long time ago
that I don't laugh at nothing
And I doubt I'm going to do it now.
That does not mean that I do not know how to laugh,
But this situation does not deserve it!
When will the reinforcements arrive?
- The phone is missing.
- What?
- No more phones?
- No.
Some idiot will have it
given to the shaman.
I found a flight, Sam.
Goodness! Although I must tell you ...
- I do not plan to travel with those on TV.
- Have you seen Lo?
- Hala?
- Eh no. Lo, no. I am sorry.
- He'll end up coming back, you'll see.
- You know the area well.
- Come, it's time for dinner.
- Oh yeah?
- Yes.
- I am hungry.
- And me.
- I'll be right away.
- In agreement.
- Hala?
- Nico ...
- Hey! They have custard.
- Really?
- No, it's kidding.
Sam?
Yes, I'll go now.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
good evening.
Tonight, the Malawa people
honors us with one of his rituals
most ancient, the kukizenda.
Kukazando.
Yes, that, the kukazanda.
A ritual in which
they sacrifice a zebra,
that for them is their most precious asset
and main source of milk.
Therefore, on behalf of the team,
I thank you.
Thanks.
- Bravo!
- This is what TV is about.
In feeling the adrenaline of the moment.
By the way, did you know that I started
as a war reporter?
- Really?
- Yes.
During world war II?
That's impossible, think about it.
-Kukazando!
... sando!
It's for us?
Thanks.
No, not for me, thank you.
I have vomited before,
and through the nose.
'Krabou!
'Krabou!
- You must accept it.
- No, no, Sam ...
This morning they almost killed us
Julien and me for a silly thing.
I wouldn't play it, Krabou.
With great pleasure. Thanks.
I have one eye floating inside.
It is a good sentimental omen.
- Well...
- Oh yeah?
I'm going to test it.
Let's see how the damn zebra is.
- Well, it's not bad!
- Oh no?
It even seems good to me.
It is quite subtle.
- Yes.
- It has ... a touch of coriander.
Right, Nat?
- The eye is a little bitter.
- Congratulations, big boss.
This is an excellent dinner!
Really. And I say it without ...
without making obscene gestures,
Huh, you bastard?
- Don't translate that to him, Jeff.
- I'm loving it.
Yes, who was going to tell me.
Chunks have been left a bit hard.
- Damn, there are hairs on mine.
- What?
- It will be the tail of the zebra.
- What?
Sam, Sam. Look what i found
in the bowl.
Leo wore it hanging by his hair.
Not...
- In Kvin's bowl.
- It's Lo's clamp!
Thats hairs!
We are ...
Eating...
The idiot Lo.
They are cannibals!
They are not cannibals!
They only lives by hunting and gathering.
Too bad Lo isn't there.
He would love it.
No no no. Now do you want me to eat
a piece of your heart?
- I'm not going to do it.
- It's our friend's heart, it's ugly.
Although I don't consider him my friend either.
I have to speak to my agent.
I hope it's a joke
but it doesn't look like it!
- Give it a bite, I can't!
- Come on, Nat!
- Do not think about it!
- Come on, take a bite!
- But it's raw!
- Take a bite!
Go! Give it to him now! Go!
I have eaten Lo.
I have eaten Lo.
I have eaten Lo.
Well done.
I have eaten Lo.
I have eaten it.
I have eaten Lo.
I have eaten it.
I plan to give them birth
on Trip Advisor.
Why don't you shut up?
Why don't you shut up?
- I said it to break the ice!
- Calm down and breathe.
- Stop it!
- The Important thing in a crisis situation ...
- is to keep a cool head.
- Easy to say.
That here the only one
has eaten his eye is me!
Agree. Listen to me well.
We will choose a leader, and I believe
that the most natural thing is that the boss ...
- be me.
- No, the best thing is that I be the boss.
- I also.
- You see it?
No, that I also believe
that I should be.
What have been your greatest achievements?
The car license?
I am doctorate
in political science.
Have any of you won
the Champions League being captain?
The discussion is over!
The boss is me!
I'm the boss.
You, doctor, lower the smoke.
You, El Matador, why don't you come out
and do you hear the song of the crickets?
And you, are you going to make me a coffee,
because I need it to think.
Listen to me!
I am the most qualified to manage
a crisis situation.
Also, I'm going to tell you
something quite confidential.
By now I don't care.
I am a Mason.
Do you want to leave your game
to see who has it bigger?
The only thing that interests us now
is to get out of this nightmare!
I'm not going to let anyone eat me!
There is not much to eat either!
And I'm not ready to die!
Because i've never been
to the Cannes festival.
I've never won a Caesar!
I haven't even had a role
in a decent movie.
And I just broke up with my boy.
There will be no wedding!
And above it is manes,
and the guys I go to the psychologist.
And I can't even talk to him anymore!
Are you really a Mason?
Of course.
And that suits me in the boss, period.
Where will the phone be?
You have to ask for help.
- It must be in the shaman's trunk.
- Exactly. I'll go.
- You have to go find it.
- Me? What if you do it, Sam?
- I can't go, I'm the Krabou!
- Is this what you are looking for?
- The fact that?
- Yes, that's it.
Now do you listen to me?
What they give you!
- Not!
- Go find your fucking phone!
Take it easy! In order to!
- Calm down, Nathalie!
- Why did you do that?
-There you have your phone!
Peaceful!
You've been about
to condemn us all!
Its ringing!
- You've had a lot of noise.
- Hala?
R-Can you hear me?
"Yes, who are you?
I am Gg. You see, this is
has gotten out of hand.
- We are about to...
- Hello. Hi, I'm Sam.
The situation is grim.
These people are nuts.
They have loaded Lo and now
they want us to eat it.
- We are terrified.
- Sam, I appreciate your comment,
but right now we are
for jokes.
We are still trapped
in the middle of the storm.
- There is less parla and a half ...
- Do the favor of c allarte
and bring us your four by four,
or i will tear your eyes out
- and I'll give them to the hippos!
- Why don't we keep calm ?!
Fleet?
- Gigi?
- Tell me.
This is the head of the group.
These people are cannibals! I...
- It has been turned off.
- It has been turned off?
- It has no battery.
- Who is the idiot who has used it?
It was for emergencies only!
So, what can we do now?
It had to be Lo.
- What a bastard!
- Listen.
Because of their physique, they should have
food for two or three days.
- No, Lo does not give much.
- We will have some time!
No, no, what's up. In a couple of days
we will be mincemeat.
Can't you see that we are their prey ?!
It's like the Jaws movie,
but on land.
Tierraburn.
It does not have the same hook.
- We have to load anyway.
- What a shitty show.
I could have called Macron
if we still had the mobiles.
- To who?
- Macron loves my jokes.
He's been following me for a long time.
- They won't let us go.
- Of course!
If the team is not here
tomorrow night,
one of us
will have to sacrifice.
- Go now.
I know it's difficult, but ...
Who is willing to do it?
Any of you,
I do not care.
No I do not.
I can't do it, Julien.
I'll try to make a junction box
with camera batteries.
Well, guys. Enough of nonsense.
The phone is dead.
So shut up and let's get out of here.
- Uh!
- Hey, buddy, be careful.
I think you are confusing
crisis situation with familiarity.
That we have shared moments
he doesn't make us friends with Lo.
- No, who do you think?
- While the cannibals sleep,
this left-wing technician is leaving,
because you don't want to end up as mush.
- Bravo, well done. Coward!
- Leftist?
What does that have to do with anything?
I'm a socialist too!
Poor dear...
- Poor dear.
- Excuse me.
Aren't you the only one who understands
of survival?
- Don't leave without us!
- Waiting!
Some of you
help me fold the bed?
Some of you
help me fold the bed?
No no no!
If anyone wants
a brain fondue,
you just have to put me
a crouton for the ear.
Do you have water? Pass it on!
- Haven't you brought?
- Not.
It is necessary?
Why didn't you say it?
You don't know how to do anything for yourself.
You are spoiled stars.
You take a sip
without abusing and you give it back to me.
- Voucher.
- Without abuse...
- Shadow!
- Do not stop.
- Just a minute.
- Where is your humanity?
I can not anymore,
I can't feel my feet anymore!
Listen, what if we trade
shoes every five kilometers?
Uh, thanks.
That's what Friends Are For.
Tell me, Kvin, are you still single?
I live with colleagues.
Well, they are the ones who live with me.
- I didn't know this side of you.
- Already.
Do not worry. I am used to it
to wear tacos and to run with them.
- Oh yeah?
- Isn't that Lo's scarf?
- Yes and what?
- And that's his backpack.
Let's see, wherever I am
That poor devil doesn't need it anymore.
Sure. You are the worst scourge
of this continent.
Forgiveness?
Let's see.
We are here, and three kilometers away
there is a village with an airfield.
You just have to cross that stream.
So why on the go
we took a jeep,
a canoe and we stuck eight hours
walking at 60 degrees on Mars?
Because you had to prevail
the show.
What if I punch you ...?
Listen to me, clown!
I'm going to make things clear to you!
I'm not going to make you the ball.
I don't feel any admiration for you.
Your humor is too soft for me.
Yes, black humor suits me.
But I don't feel admiration either
for none of you.
So from now on
the first one who speaks ill to me,
- I break his nose!
- Said it remains.
- I shit on the fucking mother!
- What did we just say, idiot ?!
- I just got bitten by a bug!
- How?
- There is.
- Wow!
You got bitten by a
Leiurus Quinquestriatxxs.
This is the first time I have seen
one in person!
Its poison is three times as powerful
than that of the Cape cobra,
- which is already screwed ...
- What does that mean?
- Well...
- Well, you're going to palmarla.
- No my God!
- You have to extract the poison.
Someone come.
Come on, Nathalie.
- No way, I'm not going to suck your foot.
- But I just gave you my shoes!
- No way, I'm not going to suck your foot.
- But I just gave you my shoes!
Come on, you almost have it.
- My back is not so bad.
- Do you want to suck him?
- Me? Not.
- Come on, he'll help you, Matador.
- Thanks. Have.
- Do not move.
Now, you do like this and you suck it.
Come on, it's yours, Kvin!
- Suck! You can!
- You're going to paralyze me!
Well, that is better than dying.
- What are you doing?
- Bring here.
- I don't want to die.
- You have to make a cut.
Gg, leave me. I will do.
- A) Yes?
- Like a steak.
Bye.
- There is! Careful!
- Where?
There, do you see it? Look, look, look!
There there there!
- It's a scolopendra!
- One that?
It is harmless. You just have to remove
head and sip the vitamins.
No no no...
- I can not believe it!
- That's gross!
You will notice a little fever, nothing more.
You will notice a little fever, nothing more.
It is not worth lamenting.
Be positive, give thanks for being alive.
- Give me the knife.
- At this rate, he'll end up bleeding.
- The wound needs to be cauterized.
- I can not see it!
- I've never screwed up so much.
- May l?
Except that time I confused
to Michael Jordan
with a street vendor.
I was with my friends on a terrace
and he already had a few drinks on him ...
Hala, seared.
Why didn't you tell me that you had
another pair of shoes?
- Why are we not friends.
- Mud.
Behold! The village.
We are saved!
But I can't find the stream.
So the gray lines were this.
It was obvious. They mark the unevenness.
- Oh shit.
Oh my God.
It must be a joke.
We are next!
So, what can we do now?
0 we skirt the cliff to
find a bridge or jump,
we climb the cliff
and we arrived at dusk.
Or we abort and change plans.
Better, because this is
high that you shit.
And I do not have to swim
very well let us say.
And the impact would be the same as
that of an egg on cement.
In the contract it did not put any of this.
Do what you want, but I pass.
- Give me the backpacks.
- What?
Give me the backpacks!
- What do you want?
-Where she goes?
- But what are you doing, man ?!
- Why did you throw them away?
I need weight.
Zero, zero, one. Zero, zero, two.
Zero, zero, three.
Four seconds, 60 kilos,
we can jump Who goes first?
What?
Heroes are not on TV
but in real life.
Who will be the hero?
Is it because you lack
brand boots?
Is it because you lack your audience?
Is it because you lack the teleprontel?
As for the actress,
I better not ask you.
No sir, it's me. The nobody.
Who is it that saved you?
Gronimo!
- You clown.
- Yes.
- Record it for YouTube. Click here.
- Yes.
Go. Do the same as me,
no nonsense, okay?
- Well.
- Action!
Ge-ro-ni ...! Shit!
OH! Fuck!
Ow!
I have left the end.
Well. Let's go east.
Go.
Wait ... he's dead!
Shouldn't we dedicated
a prayer or something?
What the fuck is that?
Well ... a prayer.
This is how the Indians pray, right?
You do not get the blood
in the lead, right?
On going.
You are right.
It seemed quiet, but it had
a character of a thousand demons.
- And on top of that he has thrown our backpacks.
- Fuck you!
That you know that your death
It was a joke!
The shaman refuses to let the tribe
set out in search of him.
- He says they're bad.
- No no no. Please, big boss.
They are not normal people
like you and me.
They are famous people.
They hate everyone, it's normal.
Agree.
The chief says that the clan
you must take care of your guests.
The chief says that the clan
you must take care of your guests.
- against the shaman's opinion.
- Thanks. Thank you, boss.
They say the shaman is right.
- Hey, Wokabi ...
- Tell me.
Tell them to bring them ... alive.
Have you heard it?
The fact that? Not.
It had been a long time since I took a walk
without anyone asking me for a selfie.
I would give anything to be
in a traffic jam
with an exhaust pipe
all over the face.
I need to eat something, guys.
An elephant, a monkey ... a bear.
There are no bears in the savannah, Kvin.
- I haven't heard it for a long time.
- Really?
- What are you eating?
- Nothing.
- Please...
- Listens. I am...
eating those balls
that you see on the ground.
- Huh? This?
- Yes.
- They are natural fritters.
- And it's good?
It is a mix between
caramel and caper.
It doesn't kill me either.
I can't find the candy
just the ... caper.
Oh! Water!
-. '' What?
- Ah '. - n I! There is water ah ".
Yes!
Yes!
One moment! Wait, wait!
Wait! Wait!
- You have to hide.
- Where?
You have to hide behind the lion.
Hold on guys!
Move the booty.
Wow, I think he recognized me!
It will be that the lions
They watch TV a lot, Julien.
He has recognized me as a dominant male,
as leader, as head of the group.
No, when he wags his tail
it means it is about to attack.
Nat, do something!
You are Vro la vet!
It's a series, Kvin!
I am allergic to animals.
I swell all day
antihistamines!
Its coming!
Leave me!
In the jungle,
the ... terrible jungle ...
What are you doing?
Dead is the lion.
There's the lion.
- In the jungle ...
It works!
Yes, it's my baritone voice, it calms it down.
In the jungle, the terrible jungle,
dead is the lion.
- Awimbaue, awimbaue ...
- In the jungle,
the terrible jungle!
- Dead is ... the lion!
- No no no. Looser.
- Calm down, Julien!
- He's pissed off, Julien. Shut up now.
It was almost under control now.
It's going to eat us!
Do you want to drive me crazy?
Can't you see we're in trouble !?
We already know that you are
the king of the savannah!
Although the lionesses
do all the work!
So if you don't mind let's drink
a little of your disgusting water,
before leaving your kingdom
shit, okay?
Yes!
That's right!
Come on, guys. Let's drink!
- Negative.
- Maybe we should ...
- I think it's better not to run.
- In the jungle, the ...
- Don't start again.
- Don't run.
- Don't run! Don't run!
- Don't turn your back on them either!
A little elephant.
- You have to go faster.
- I do what I can.
- Do you want me to carry you on my shoulders?
- You don't have to bother.
We have to move forward if we want to get there
to the canoes before night.
Don't go so fast, Don Know-It-All.
Are you sure we go
in the right direction?
It looks like the sun will set over there.
Therefore, the east is there!
Yeah, but we are south of the equator.
Everything goes backwards here.
The water runs in the opposite direction.
Well this is the same. Give me your watch.
Carefully, that is a gift.
But what are you doing?! Are you crazy?
It's my Usain Bolt watch!
- You'll buy another one.
- Usain gave it to me at the Rio Games!
- It was hers!
"Oh, don't be so materialistic to me, Sam!"
That is part of the past.
Check out what compass I just made.
I've been a scout all my childhood
and pioneer until the age of twenty-three.
- I know what I'm doing to myself.
- And why haven't you used yours?
- Did you have another watch ?!
- Listens.
- Why haven't you used yours?
- The president of the chain gave it to me.
I guess with Usain Bolt's watch
We'll get out of here faster.
Oh, for the love of God, Julien!
Now we are lost
in the middle of nowhere!
Not to mention that the night
Is falling!
- Wow, it was fast.
- Amazing.
Was it my thing?
What a nightmare!
Nerd. Not...
"This is not a vacation," he said.
What a fool!
- Go faster.
Listen, Kvin.
You won't get anything
with some sunglasses.
It is also night
Do not you see it?
That it is impossible does not mean
that I can't do it.
Whatever you say.
'Geronimo! Turn ...
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening.
Julien Gosset-Grainville ...
live where you probably
be our last night.
A cold and icy night.
We only have one option:
share our human warmth.
Like those poor souls ... lost.
- Someone is coming?
- Isn't it an animal?
'Where?
'Ah! There are people!
- Hey! We are saved!
- Hey, come on! We are here!
We are here! We are here!
They are the malawas.
They are the malawas!
- They found us!
- They're going to gut us alive!
They're going to skewer us!
They have tigers!
- Help! Help!
- Run! Run!
- Help!
- I'm too pretty to die!
Do not separate! Do not separate!
Wait for me, I already lose them!
- Withdrawal!
- Wait for me!
Oh, let go of me, you bastards!
Let go of me, i told you
let me go!
Are you hungry?
Enjoy yourself!
In order to! You're giving me!
Shit, again! It's over.
Withdrawal! Withdrawal!
You bastards won't sink your teeth into us!
We are not hamburgers!
One moment, one moment.
Now what do they do?
Are they leaving already?
They retire, they retire!
- We have frightened them of the beauty!
- We have won!
Yes!
Let's not entertain ourselves.
They are coming back with knives!
- And with forks!
- And with plates!
Ow!
Ow!
Shit!
-What if we go further north?
More to the north?
If they go into the desert,
they are dead.
Hey! Is there a long way to go?
It's just a strip of sand.
If we go straight east,
soon we will find
a fishing village.
I'm dying of thirst.
Same as all.
I would say that we already have
passed through here.
- Let me see.
- Not?
Are you an idiot or what?
- Your compass is not moving!
- Oh no!
- When it is still it indicates the north.
- Let's see.
The north is out there
but it's out there too, right?
And it seems that there too!
You see it? It must be wrong!
No, woman.
I tell you that the north ...
- It's over there.
- We have been following you for a day,
And now we are lost
in the desert!
You ruined my watch! My watch!
To lose in this
fucking desert!
And I am about
to pass out!
What about me? I exist too!
And I will leave things
very clear, guys.
If we all die together in this desert,
they will only talk about me.
Because the only one who raises
passions here is me!
- The diva!
- I'm sorry to tell you that nobody cares about you.
- Even lions get past you!
- How? I am going to kill you!
He tried to assassinate me!
She's a fucking psycho!
Oh my back!
I can not move!
- I think we're trapped.
- Stop moving!
I can't breathe!
We are too useless
even to fight.
Wait, raise your arm.
Raise it up!
I've run my whole life.
And for what?
To die alone in the middle of the desert,
surrounded by morons.
I was unable to pick up the phone
my son at the airport.
I would have given everything to be
in the spotlight,
and it seems that in the end
I'll end up scorching.
We should have taken advantage
to observe the beauty of this world.
Learn to shared
with the people we love.
Become aware of the sound
we have to be alive and ..
Visit these lands.
- Did Kvin say that?
- Yes.
It is as if a hen
do a multiplication.
Why are you crying?
I could have scored more goals
But he had a dream!
I wanted to write songs and sing.
- Really?
- And I won't be able to do it anymore.
Do you see how there was something good in you?
Leave it alone.
This is the end of the end of the end.
Yes.
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening.
Hey!
Hey! Hey!
We are here, wait!
Waiting!
Do not go please!
Hey, wake up!
The helicopter is here!
- The helicopter!
- Hey! Here!
"Hey! Wait!
"Hey! Here!
Hey! Here! Hey!
- Oh no!
- They've seen us, haven't they?
- Come on! Go!
- They've seen us!
We are saved, at last!
- Go!
- Give me a hand, come on.
Go!
Come on! Come on! A little more.
Don't stop!
Go!
Come on!
We're.
Come here.
Yes!
Go.
It's the team!
Yes!
I told you it was around here.
We are alive!
We are here!
- Gigi! Gigi!
- Gigi! What a joy to see you!
What are you doing here?
Have they found you?
- They made it mush.
- They killed him!
- And they ate it.
- They ate it!
- They ate it!
- But who?
Oh, this is life!
What?
No...
You have done it!
Everyone is looking for you!
The Malawas, the police;
You had France in suspense!
- You weren't dead?
- No way!
- Haven't they eaten you?
- You're whole!
I almost feared the worst,
especially after seeing
Geronimo made broth.
Hi guys.
Cool.
Come on is he still alive?
It seems. He has told me that you have been
disrespecting the malawas.
What? Weren't they going to eat us?
But what are you saying?
They have come looking for you!
No!
But what a bunch of morons!
They came to rescue us.
- We've been assholes.
- Yes, some assholes.
- Exactly, some assholes.
- There, no need to scrub it.
And do you already have enough material to
that the final cut is funny?
Well, we'll figure it out.
As always.
Enjoy "Encounters in the end
of the end of the world with Vreal.
For you.
I plan to meet each of these children
and calls by name. That's.
- I have it! I have it!
- What?
Family, love, respect.
Are the values
that they have instilled in us,
but the reality is like that
from the beginning of time.
His people, his character, his smile ...
its simplicity.
This site makes me feel
better person, better human being.
Good evening.
Welcome to this memorable meeting
at the end of the end of the world.
With all of you heroes.
- Good evening.
- Good evening.
Welcome, Sam. Welcome, Kvin.
Welcome Julien. Welcome, Nathalie.
You see.
Let's put ourselves in situation.
You decide to take some night shots
with our camera, Gronimo,
that accompanies us today.
Bravo!
You move away from the camp
and suddenly ... you get lost.
For thirty-six hours you have us
everyone with their hearts in their fists,
while you,
lost in the vastness of the desert,
you escape death.
An experience that
has scored for life.
So Sam tell me
- what has changed for you?
- It is obvious.
He has scheduled four more performances
in the french stadium and has exhausted them in five minutes.
'Wow!
'Oh yeah?
!! Congratulations!! Bravo.
I am very happy that they are sold out,
although later I hope I can
take a year off
go to California for a while.
Now I need to pass
more time with my son,
before it gets tired
of his father's jokes.
- I doubt that will happen.
- How moving.
Thanks.
Now let's go to Julien.
I have the feeling that there has been
one before and one after.
- If true.
- They told me you're leaving Paris
- to move to Biarritz.
- I-he had to live this experience ...
so that I accept at once
that time passes.
But it's not that hard when you are
surrounded by people you love,
like my wife, Alice.
That deserves applause.
Nathalie, your name is in the mouth
of all movie producers.
Does that mean that Vro
the veto retires?
- No! No...!
- What are you saying! Come now!
The truth is that tonight
I don't feel like talking
of my career or my life.
All I know is that I have
the need to help others.
It is very noble of you.
Big!
You deserve it, Nathalie. Bravo.
Kevin,
Tell me, what has changed for you?
Well ... nothing at all.
- Can't you hear it, Kvin?
- Ah, that!
Number one in sales, almost nothing!
Let's see it, Kevin. Bravo.
Kukazando, kukazando.
Share life together.
'rude we are one.
We are all one.
Ku-ka-zan-do!
We are all one.
We are all one.
Ku-ka-zan-do!
Bravo!
Just say it's me
who has written the lyrics
- and for me this is very important.
- I'm very sorry to interrupt, but ...
What do you think if we leave
to talk about us
and we do a little tribute
to the Malawas, that proud people,
noble, who lives happily with all that
that God has given them, what is nothing?
Certain.
In fact, they have taught us a lesson
of life that we will never forget,
- which is humility.
- Humility.
I have the impression that this
adventure has ...
- united forever.
- Yes, of course.
Moreover, I would even say that we
we have become very good friends.
And you say it!
On the other hand, I must announce to you
that according to the last survey
from Le Journal du Dimanche,
you are the four celebrities.
THE FAVORITES OF THE FRENCH
favorites of the French.
'What?
"Not!
- Woof!
- In agreement! Very well!
- Humility, humility, humility.
- Sure.
- Everything that goes up must come down.
- Well said, Kvin.
What you have done is very humble,
since you are number one.
- Not!
- You are number one, thanks to your single.
- I do not get it.
- We return after a little pause.
Wait wait.
Number one of what?
- What's that about number one?
- Did only the hooligans vote?
- It means I'm the most popular.
- It's not because of that. Waiting.
That you are popular
It does not mean that you are an idiot.
- But what are you doing?
- No, Julien. Enough.
If they had seen you pulling
stones to the malawas,
I doubt you were number one.
You wan't to speak about it ?
If you'r going to California its to record
your little shitty show in english?
- You disappoint me, Sam.
- On air in twenty seconds.
-Let's calm down a bit!
Listen to me, Julien.
Have you still not told your wife
that you go back to work next month?
And as news director!
As a news director!
- It's just to improve the audience!
- Can we calm down?
- On antenna in five seconds.
- Now I understand that your boyfriend left you!
- You deserve it.
- Let's go live, guys.
- Krabou!
- Gronimo, help me!
- Krabou!
- I'm going to rip your head off!
- We are on the air!
- Come here. Come here!
Sit down now, please!
We are live.
- Leave it alone!
- Come and help me, Geronimo!
- Krabou!
- We are live!
Now try to shoot the strongest
what you can with the instep.
You see it? This is the instep.
The instep.
Right instep or instep
left according to your ergonomics.
Agree? Let's stop theory
and let's go to practice.
Look look. Look at El Matador. Attentive.
That's!
This is an Arab,
a Chinese and a Belgian.
And a malawa. There are already four.
And they go in ... no.
An Arab, a Chinese and a Belgian
they go on a plane
and the pilot turns and says:
"Don't you have enough?"
Is that in France always
we make jokes
with a Belgian, an Arab and a Chinese.
Every night I come out of a small box
to talk to families
and people love to listen to me.
Maybe one day
I hope soon,
television reaches the village.
Because that will mean
that your way of life will be ...
Yes, Krabou!
Very well.
I am a specialist
in Ancient Egypt.
And I know myself all
the Imhotep dynasty.
Do you know Imhotep?
Well, he has a woman
the evil queen, Fopatep.
And within this great dynasty ...
there is the grandson he wants
take power, Kikatep,
who was murdered
by Nohesidoyoketep.
Voucher. You are a difficult audience.
Nathalie, come here. Come here.
Sight.
Do you see her ?!
This is a Tripfwopkwuum Spectamm.
- A very rare carnivorous plant.
- Not.
- What?
- It's the other plant.
You're right, that's it.
That is.
I see. You have the same adventurer
than me as a veterinarian.
- What a nightmare!
- Cut now.
Kukazando, kukazando.
Let's share life together.
Kukazando, kukazando.
Let's share life together.
Kukazando, kukazando.
Let's share life together.
Kukazando, kukazando.
Let's share life together.
All men are the same
All men are the same
Ku-ka-zan-do!
All women are the same
All women are the same
Ku-ku-ku ka-ka-ka-kazan-do!
All hungry: you add friends,
Let's learn to share life !.
All hungry: you add companions,
Let's learn to share bread.
All females add colleagues,
Let's learn to share the water
Ku-ka-zan-do!
Instead of "action" I say "cut".
- Oh my!
- Oh! What a marvel, the virgin!
OMG!
I ordered them to bring it to me
before coming...
Wait, what's going on there?
Before coming here.
When you study the problem,
you find the solution.
Because that is France.
Cut.
- Oh sorry. I am sorry.
- Let me. Let me take it.
Let what?
Action!
It will help you, Matador.
Sorry, I don't bring the backpack.
Go find her. Here I wait for you.
You have to return to your site.
Hey.
That he had a fatal encounter
ay ay ay...
Like the one I've been
about to have.
Kvin ... Hey, here. Clean the shit
from the forehead, will you?
Forgiveness. Can we repeat it again
if possible? I am sorry.
- Action!
- Go!
You have the Mapongo worm on you!
- Sorry, I didn't get it right.
- I was doing great!
Voucher.
What is fame? Tell me,
What is fame in the end and after all?
I get off the plane and people: "Ramzy!"
Now when I get off, they'll say, "Sam!"
Hears. That they are mine!
Give me my popcorn! Give them to me!
No, if he doesn't care.
- Now what did he have to say?
- I see you haven't done your homework.
Shit.
Rich!
Gronimo!
Fuck me!
I have a monkey right in front of me.
Second take.
Action!
Forgiveness!
Tierraburn.
It does not have the same hook.
We repeat.
It does not have the same hook.
The newspaper is in German,
Could you change it?
Yes, Vanessa?
That little breast!
Oh!
When you move
You move me too
- We want her to go out alone.
- Yes, I understand.
- Is Vero. See it go.
- I already do it. There you go.
Thanks.
Short, Gg.
Thanks.
Thanks.
KRABOU WHO READS IT!
Take your time.
Be back home.
For a while,
Just be okay.
Today, more than ever,
Humans must learn
to live with nature again.
Thats why since 4 years, the program
"Encounters at the end of the end of the world"
invites you to discover all
those civilisation, landscapes
and animals frozen in time.
For Christmas, we will invite not
one, not two, not three,
but four exceptional guests.
He eat with you during more than 20 years.
The star presenter of the echoes,
JGG, Julien Grosset-Grainville.
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening.
She is "Vro la vto", the veterinary
who talks to animals
in the television series
number one in France.
- The indomitable Nathalie Dulac!
- It escapes me !
Sraphin, behave!
The beast of the "stand-up" that is
about to hit it on the Stade de France.
The king of comedy,
- the matchless, Sam!
- It was great!
But its not milk.
Thirty-two goals with the "bleus"
and a Champions League with Atltica.
The national team's mascot,
'AND! Matador ', Kvin Kerguellec!
To what part of the world
will our stars travel?
Who or what will they meet?
They will find out as soon as
your plane has taken off,
and you, on December 25th.
"Encounters at the end of the end of the world.
Christmas special .
- On the left!
- Now it is OK! I have seen it.
- I know to read.
- Well, you never know.
You promised me that when you hung up
boots we would go back to Biarritz.
I have not hung up my boots,
I was fired at twenty-two
for a blonde who doesn't even
know the capital of Mongolia.
Uln Bator. Do you find it difficult
Uln Bator? Even a child knows.
I don't understand how you agree to participate
on such a tacky show.
Are you kidding me?
It is the program of the moment,
everyone wants to do it.
Can you imagine the Christmas special?
I'm not talking to you about Encounters in the end
of the end of the world,
I'm talking about the telemarketing.
To regain the most important thing
is to stay on the springboard.
And skip a
and again and again.
I'm leaving for a few days,
don't worry.
Carry the backpack on your back
and a few more things.
A travel diary
to sing my stories.
I carry everything I need
in my backpack!
In order to!
I don't have my passport.
Turn around!
What?
THE SURVIVAL MANUAL
Julien. You are here already?
Well of course!
- It's still early.
- No, let me explain.
Of the four that go with you,
I'm the best.
I'll be the one to find the totem.
Julien, these are not
some vacations.
Listen ... I'll tell you what, Poli.
At fifty nine
every day is a vacation.
Hey? Come on, get going.
I'm taking the bag.
Tell short to fuck
the yellow suitcase.
Who is Short?
Hey, you take it.
LA VETE came.
Marc, you know what?
I have forgotten the pass ...
I've been gone ten minutes.
I know.
Don't screw me, Marc!
You asked me to marry me three days ago!
I know. I know and I am very sorry.
I mean, I was very sure
that you were gone.
Wouldn't it be better to prepare the tour
before I go camping
with that cocoon of Lo Poli?
They have only been sold
a third of the entries.
You have no choice, Sam.
Why? Why don't they run out?
Why don't they run out?
Note that
the Stade de France is huge.
People are screwed, they don't have a penny,
and they end up laughing less.
Who laugh less? No way!
Yes they laugh!
Of course they laugh and a lot,
But it's an inside laugh
A silent laugh.
What's about you? It bothers you?
No no no ! I say that to laugh in silence
no need to go to the Stade de France.
Don't take it! You promised
that you will go to is Basketball match.
MY SON, MY FIGH- It was this weekend.
- Oh shit!
No!
LOST CALL
How could I forget?
Why did I agree to come to this circus?
I hate traveling.
How are you?
Lo Poli!
- Oh, the great Lo Poli!
- Welcome, Sam.
I want to go
on vacation with you.
I love your program. It's great.
It's cool, but ... it's not milk.
- Sam!
- Hi.
I present to you Nico,
your suitcase and mine.
Hi. But ... Sam,
you know than you have to go alone.
How? We are nail and flesh.
Sam, you see,the point of the show
It is that you go out on your own.
- Come now! Really?
- Yes really.
One moment.
Can it be cut?
Cut a second.
What is all this? Never in the life
I've gone nowhere alone
Did you never do fildtrip as a kid ?
Why are you laughing? Who is it?
The jokes are made by me
It is clear?
What a nightmare!
JGG!
JGG!
- Oh, how glad I am!
- Sam ...
- Ladies and gentlemen, good evening.
Listen, it's great ...
But its not milk!
- If you do better than me!
- No, I would like more.
- Yes, you nailed it!
- Of course.
Let me pass
I am Nathalie Dulac!
Do not you recognize me?
Don't you watch TV?
Nathalie, what is going on?
Let her pass, it's Nathalie Dulac.
- What did I tell you?
- Sorry, Nathalie.
Poli, I'm so happy to go!
Nathalie.
- Are you drunk?
- Are you smoking?
Hey, what about your luggage?
Travel without luggage
is to travel from the heart.
-Oh yeah? Bring here.
Nathalie, what a joy!
Ah, Mr. Grainville.
Tell me, is it true that you go
to work in a telemarketer?
Holy God...
- I love the telemarketing.
- Ah, well.
Where's my Nathalie Dulac?
How excited I was
to meet "La Veto"!
Who is it?
You know, Sam ... Our Sam.
Ah yeah sure! Forgiveness.
Is that you seem much older
in person.
- Well not so much.
- It will be that you also appear your age.
Let it be.
That has been ugly,
- Do you mind if we repeat it?
- No way.
Try to have a better roll between
you, more spirit of ... sorry.
I have to take it.
YES? YES.
Good. I am Gronimo.
You can call me Jerome. Or Gg.
- 0r we will not call you at all.
- Who cares?
- Come on, let's go. Here.
- Voucher.
- It should have arrived three hours ago!
- I know, Julien.
Excuse me, you must board now.
- Well, let's go.
- Wait, no, no.
Anyway, I don't want my
image is associated with that crust.
I don't feel like it either
to travel with him.
- Attentive, it's coming!
- What?
Camera, camera, camera!
Go!
Recording.
Hey!
- Yes sir!
- I am sorry. I am sorry.
- Kevin.
- Welcome, Kvin.
For a hair, huh?
Tell me, where are you going in that costume?
Is it carnival?
No, it is not a costume. It's ... It's my ...
my normal everyday clothes.
I think the black in southern Africa,
It is not a good idea.
- Do you know where we are going?
- Yes.
- Sure, to Africa.
- What!
Listen Julien, it was me who
I should tell you on the plane!
My son ... I've been twenty-five
years in this environment.
The news goes to me
I don't even have to look for them.
Sure, I'm twenty-five too
years in this world and did not know.
- Because I did not know it?
- You didn't know, because ...
get information from a koala
or a guinea pig is not easy.
- Because you are "La Vto"!
- Come on, come on, come on.
- Adventure!
- Yes!
- "El Matador" himself!
- Yes.
Espera... Un momento.
Will there be whales?
No. Sorry to tell you, Kvin.
Oh no? It is that a little bird has told me
that you were swimming among whales.
- And whales drive me crazy.
- No way. No no no no.
This time we will meet the tribe
most isolated on the planet.
It is a pity. Do not go away!
- Wait!
- The Malawas.
Give me an Ayurvedic gum,
you want?
How the hell did he know about the whales?
What a nightmare!
- A little reading, sir?
- Cool! That's great.
Thanks.
- And that? Don't we travel first?
- Don't remind me, they have me fried.
- We are in business with the commoners.
- Well, guys, let's go on an adventure.
Camera, recording.
The time has come to say goodbye
of civilization.
Take your mobiles
and put them in that bag.
- With great pleasure.
- There it goes.
- This is going to be the hardest.
- All right, guys. Turn off cameras
Make yourself comfortable and enjoy the flight.
Hey, Gigi. Give it back, will you?
Come on, it was just for the outtakes.
- Wasn't it for the outtakes?
- No not at all. This is serious.
I can't go eight days without my mobile.
'Fifteen days:
'What!? '
- You're on the cover of the Voici!
- What?
You did not know?
NATHALIE AND MARC ARE GETTING MARRIED!
You are about to get married.
It is always exciting to be on the cover.
I've already been eight. And two naked.
Will you invite me?
Gg, turn it on now.
Sam, we are about to take off.
It is time for you to meet the destination.
Needless. We go to Tikilele.
Yes, Julien has already told me.
Are you going to be recording me all the time?
Cut now! That we are on the plane.
Oh Lord. Excuse me,
Can I ask you for a vodka?
- Of course Mr.
- Make it two. Serve me another.
Won't you have a Grand Bordeaux?
Chateau Latour? Ptrus?
- If you want I can bring you the gray hair.
- The first,
because the one here is pitiful.
Wait! And a Red Bu ",
with chips !.
I shouldn't have listened to the network.
What a journey awaits us!
What a nightmare.
As you say "what a nightmare" again,
you're going to get out of the plane through the toilet.
- I'm going to the economy class.
- Well.
Ay ay ay!
- How are you? All good?
- Get me out of here!
Is it normal that there is no belt?
Nat, do you mind if we change?
- Easy, it's just turbulence.
- Here. I leave you mine.
- But it will be useless, man!
- Breathe, there is less.
The production team!
They will cross the desert.
And at night we will get together
with the rest of the team.
- If I had known, I would have gone with them!
- With gusts of wind
that they will have to endure,
you will be much better with us.
Hold on tight!
We have to descend!
Let me out!
Okay, but ... it's not milk.
See the luck we have.
Nature in all its splendor
welcomes us.
An Ayurvedic chewing gum?
I present to you Wokabi,
our new guide.
It is a dream to have him,
since he is the only foreigner
to be accepted by the Malawas.
Hey, don't go!
I have left the bag.
I am not surprised, they will have taken him
for a pineapple with those hairs.
It looks like a shower curtain.
I speak fifteen languages.
This pineapple hairstyle is the symbol
belonging to my tribe.
And the shower curtain,
our traditional warrior habit.
Red as the wrath of our god.
Oh! Forgive me, I have left
one thing in the car. I'll be right back.
Well, time wise,
What do you predict us?
It was a surprise.
I feel like I fit in with the country
although my skin is too white,
- but inside I'm black.
- Do not worry dear.
In two hours you won't be white
nor black, you will just be red.
See this?
I only bring one,
and I am delighted to share.
No. I want to break away from all the tricks
of our consumer society.
- Perfect!
- There I must give you the reason.
Bring, I already have burns
Second grade!
Yes but pay attention, i only have three.
Oh shit.
Look where.
A box of twenty?
Listen, don't get your hopes up.
That is not what it seems.
Reporter's rule number one
is to always carry your passport with you,
fifty bucks in cash
and penicillin.
They do not get wet and on top ... they float.
Shit! That fish just
to pull my passport!
It's a bastard!
Doesn't anyone have a harpoon? A harpoon?
Do you have a ...
Do you have a harpoon?
Welcome to Africa.
Hey, Papa Smurf, is there much left?
We are soon arrived,
but it still really far.
Ah good.
Left foot, right foot,
heel down.
We support and push
to the big toe.
Left foot, right foot,
heel down.
Are you going to be like this all the way?
How jealous
One hundred percent detoxifying.
The heat makes us expel
all the garbage in the body.
I want to sit down
in the hotel pool.
What are you talking about, Kvin?
There is no hotel.
- There is no hotel? That is a good one.
- Have you never seen the show?
-No?
Well, we are going to a tribe of primitives
and therefore we sleep with them.
And with whales?
Have you ever slept with whales?
- No, Kvin.
- Wow, man.
I do not understand how he could put
so many goals, being so short.
For more turns that I give,
I can't understand it.
My feet hurt.
What's that noise?
- They are waiting for us.
- Excuse.
We are almost in a state of weightlessness.
And thirsty.
Lost among the plateaus
from Tikilele and the Duakip desert.
A group of natives
comes to meet us.
You could have told us
to bring mountain shoes.
Our guests
they are impatient.
Impatient, my balls.
Are you going to help me or not?
An exceptional encounter
with exceptional people.
I am beginning to be exhausted.
We're...
We are very honored to meet you.
Thank you for receiving.
Good.
Look at them how handsome
with their head of a jug.
I feel like they spy on me
through the keyhole.
Delighted, I am Kvin. Not?
Do not be afraid.
I'm sorry.
They gave me much less fear
with the mask.
- Where are you going?
- To me, it seems
they says welcome
to the woman with golden hair.
- They've never seen a blonde woman.
- Oh, I understand.
This ... good morning.
Haunted.
I still don't understand you
but he translates for me.
It's nice, huh? I already know it.
Hello!
Ah, finally.
I am enjoying this ride
by the Countryside. Huh, Tokapi?
- Wokabi. Wokabi.
- Look, let's do one thing.
I'll call you Jeff, like my son-in-law,
whom I love very much.
This is easier.
I will be Julien and you will be Jeff.
- I prefer Wokabi.
- All right, Jeff. Go.
Where are you going?
They are killing my feet.
I don't move from here.
Come on, Gg!
Run Run Run!
Record it!
We have arrived.
It was time.
This is paradise.
Hello. How's it going? Good.
Hey, that's mine. Hi, ma'am.
It is far, but it is beautiful.
Moni onji.
Uh ... Muli. Buanyi.
Yina landa.
Endi Julien. Julien.
Ende konduera cucu ywan.
Cucu yiwanii!
Ah, didn't I get it right?
I would say that you have left a tick.
I was speaking in Chichewa,
the language of the Malawians.
- It has nothing to do with ours.
- Really?
Well anyway
it never hurts to know.
Helps you communicate, huh?
Gg?
Ah, finally. Someone important.
Excuse me. I introduce myself, Sam.
Head of humor.
Alright. Agree.
- Budan?
- Bhoo 'Din means "sun".
Well thanks.
Fortune has given us
this unique spiritual moment.
Nathalie, what do you think of it?
I feel like it has occurred
an inexplicable connection
between you and the village children.
I feel great emotion.
What bothers me is ...
Hey guys!
They have adobe balls!
Wow, they are amazing!
I'm not done yet.
Soccer is life.
Bring people closer,
whatever your culture.
That is not a ball.
It's a ball of zebra droppings.
They use them as fertilizer.
Pitas, pitas, pitas!
Why do they do that?
Is there a problem?
He who dares to address the shamans
when he arrives, he brings with him an evil eye.
It's the Krabou!
I wouldn't want to be in your shoes, friend.
You screwed up but good!
I'm not the Krabou, I'm Sam!
Krabou! It's a Krabou!
Krabou! Krabou!
I Krabou!
With all my love.
Tell me, what is your name, my son?
What? I'll call you Jeff like everyone else.
This is easier.
Here, Jeff. For me Jeff.
And you'll be Francoise, okay?
I HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN WHERE I WAS GOING!
For you, Francoise. For Francoise.
Francoise. Jeff.
For Jeff. For little Jeff.
Hi Julien. You are aware
that they can't read?
- And much less in French?
- Of course, but look at them.
They are delighted
and they have a great time!
No, it's the photos
what interests them.
They hang them up and make voodoo with them.
What are you saying?
Wait! Give them back to me.
Come on, Jeff, give it to me.
Give them all to me!
- Just kidding.
- Do not tell him.
Hey, check this out, guys!
I have caught a Pokmon!
Haven't you had enough
with bringing the Krabou?
This will be your home.
It's better than I expected.
Dont you think?
Welcome to the home of the Malawas.
for this meeting
at the end of the end of the world.
And ... how do we sleep?
Exact!
- That's.
- Ok ... if I sleep,
I already know how to do it.
The question is where we sleep.
In fact, Nathalie,
the malawas do not have
the concept of bed.
They sleep where they want, where they can,
when they are tired.
- Wow, it's fascinating.
- Okay, it's simple and practical.
It is minimalist,
no mattresses or sheets.
And also they have nothing to wash,
It's ... it's revolutionary.
- And respects the environment.
- It's true, well seen.
Way to go, malawas!
Do you see it? You always learn
something new.
From this moment on, our
boys will live like malawas.
Giving up comfort,
to materialism.
In union with nature.
Hey, Lo, leave it to me, you'll see.
I'm sorry.
I'm in? Well.
From this moment,
we give up any comfort.
Ready to live like ours
friends the malawas.
Don't you feel the excitement?
Whenever I see you, it seems that you are
about to send me to the horn.
No not at all. Cut, cut.
It is done.
- Congratulations on the hut, it's great.
- How cool?
- I can't take another second here!
- Don't be too hasty, Sam ...
I don't want to sleep among millions
of tiny critters!
Tiny nothing, Sam.
Cockroaches carry license plates
how big they are.
- Could you put a carpet for us?
- That.
Can i ask for a room
for me alone?
Now let's leave
that you settle down, okay?
And as the Malawas say:
Otanga, good night.
Otanga, what does it mean
"good evening".
- Bye.
- Okatanga.
Are we going to stay here?
Sounds good to all of you?
Well that, okatanga.
Who will sleep tonight
like an otter?
Its me.
- Oh! This is milk!
- Man, what a fool!
Nat, if you feel like it, I can make you
a gap, respecting the distance.
I find it more interesting
sleep like them.
Then you tell me
at dawn.
Let's go there!
Yes, you keep dreaming.
How comfortable is this!
I can not anymore.
He's been snoring all night.
I hadn't had so much pain in my ears
from Shakira's concert.
- Do they really drink zebra milk?
- Yes, it is delicious.
- Wow! Like an Oreo shake?
- That's cool!
I'm lactose intolerant.
I do not digest milk.
Excuse me, boss.
I think I'll have a coffee
because that ... is not going to be.
I also.
- What has come?
- Who is Marc?
Marc is you, come on.
- There you have it.
- Hey, I'm Kvin.
Don't be smart, Marquitos,
you just follow the roll.
Thanks.
- Burning!
- It's freshly milked.
- Yeah, sure.
- It's good.
Something salty.
And he has a little taste for ...
- To what, Marc?
- Milk?
Is this female milk
or male?
Wow!
But, it is perfect, very good.
- Never do that gesture again.
- Because?
It is a terrible insult. Means:
"May your anus never close!"
- Well, what a Calvary.
- There's no need to be like that.
I say it in a good mood.
That is even worse!
It means: "I put you
two fingers in the nose
and I take your brain out to give it to him
to eat hippos. "
You have a very graphic language.
Yes! Through signs, sounds
and words, we understand each other.
I'm going to keep my hands
agree? The covered hands.
- Kvin, don't move anymore.
- Forget the "rock, paper, scissors."
Marc means "zebra" in Malawa.
- And marc means "zebra milk."
- In agreement.
Yes, why not?
Yeah I guess it's so gross
how to spread butter
on a chocolate toast.
Good Morning!
Thanks.
- Bug!
- One second. Now we come.
- Did you sleep well?
- Like a baby, my friend.
- I have settled in perfectly.
- Not much for me.
- A hotel would have been better.
- I bring you good news.
- We have spoken with production.
- I knew there was coverage.
- No, it's a satellite phone.
- Do you have a phone?
Yes, but only for emergencies.
That is good to know.
Apparently the team is
in the middle of a storm ...
- Of sand. Of sand.
- So they'll be delayed for a day or two.
- Two.
- Not!
- And my bags?
- But Julien, what about your giant backpack?
In my backpack I only carry the bed!
- Dont be like that.
- I don't get like that!
- And what is the good news?
- The good news is that Gg,
has been far-sighted and has brought
replacement batteries.
So we will continue recording.
The only thing, that we will have
than to stay one or two more days.
Impossible. I have to go to an osteopath
for back problems.
I don't want to tell you my life
but the guy is a genius.
But you have to make an appointment
one month in advance.
Tell me that I have
a Bar Mitzvah in Dubai.
Do you think I'm going to miss it?
Look, do what you want.
I ... Are you coming with me?
Because, after all,
you are all the same.
- Do you find it funny that it falls?
- Not.
Me neither.
The malawas feed
mainly jamb.
Although they also use its shell
to make masks.
It is the women's who
collect the jamb.
That! Where are the men? Hey?
-Go on, Gg, record it!
Nathalie ...
One second. While they
they kill themselves to collect jamb,
the men go hunting gazelles
to the tribe next door.
It is the same in all breads.
Family, love, respect ...
They are the values that have been instilled in us,
But the reality is different.
The man is a pig,
since the beginning of time.
There, cut it now! Cut it now!
Cut it now! Cut it now!
Cut it now! Cut it now!
Cut it now! Cut it now!
Cut it now! Cut it now!
- What was that?
- Don't see how the nettles sting!
What happens? What does it say?
He said: "Hush, we're hunting."
Pikachu! If you see any white,
let me know, okay?
Not! Don't go in there!
No, huh! Out, out Watch.
Not! They have beds!
What bastards!
Yes!
There is dirt all over the place.
The houses, the roads, the people,
all dirt.
Morocco gives it a thousand turns.
Well, you will find an excuse,
nothing happens!
Tell him my uncle is dead.
It's okay.
And don't forget to call him.
Fuck me!
There is a monkey in front of me!
And his pinecones are so long that he goes
sweeping the floor with them.
Monito!
No, I am not talking to you.
Find me a flight as soon as possible!
I don't care if it's economy class!
No, not in economy class.
What does he mean by the comb?
Whoops, wait ...
It means that the honor
It's yours, Julien.
'Mine?
'Yes!
Mine. Well great.
Thanks for the pressure.
Nor is it that I have
a lot of illusion to eat lynx.
I read that for the Egyptians,
the lynx was sacred.
No, it wasn't the lynx, but the sphinx.
Let's say I haven't hunted for a long time
with bow to feed me you know
Give to me. This is El Matador's thing.
You are going to see the athlete.
I haven't missed a shot
in my entire career.
Do you hear it? I have given!
I have given! Ha!
I kicked his ass.
Hey, that screech is so weird.
Wow, you could have
made with the foot.
Oh shit!
I'm really sorry!
How do you say:
"Maybe you were too close"?
Excuse me. Are you okay?
- Stop making gestures, jolines!
- I just said I'm sorry!
Run, Kvin!
Jerome! Jerome, come.
Yes, Krabou, understood.
We will record all
my sequences now
and then you will assemble them together
with the rest.
- I have to go before.
- You can't go before, Sam.
Can't you
enjoy this?
Listen, my uncle is dead.
Do you know what it is to die?
It's fucked up, okay?
Do you think it amuses me
do this now?
- Is your uncle dead?
- Yes, yesterday morning!
Lie, at night. Voucher?
From a disease. Come on, record.
- I go.
'Clever?
Well.
It's over.
The time has come to leave.
To abandon the Malawas.
A town that has welcomed me
with open arms.
His people, his character, his smiles. "
Your values. The value,
the value of adobe, even.
That adobe that we don't have.
Here I feel much more human.
Far from human comedy ...
Here I feel much more human.
Far from human comedy ...
"Sam, Sam, a picture!"
"Sam, Sam, a selfie!"
Oh Sam, I always see you! "
"How handsome you are, Sam!"
"Sam, you are our god!"
I am not a god. God is there.
With my brothers and sisters.
It won't be easy at all
leave all this.
The earth.
Cut! What? Well, not?
It was great!
Come, follow me.
We are going to record Pikachu.
It is coming.
Hey!
Thanks for the pipe!
It is luxurious!
To your health.
You know what? I think the shaman
has you in the spotlight.
- Not to mention you.
- Hey, not even in dreams.
Men are like prawns.
Nobody wants the head, only the tail.
Because you said so?
Look at your boy, Marc.
- He's handsome, smart ...
- Pass the pipe.
I find him savvy,
elegant, nice.
Leo. Shut your mouth.
No, if in the end you are going to be right.
Sometimes it helps to vent.
You know that I consider myself
a citizen of the world.
Deep down I am Christopher Columbus
21st century.
- You lived in Paris, right?
- Let's say I share a flat.
- With my mother.
- Ah, it's very good.
Oh Lord!
How nice to be here!
Your arm is full of shit!
! Ow!
This is blessed glory!
"Well that's good!
- You're in the shit!
- Your turn.
I go!
The Phantom of the Opera!
I don't see shit!
Where are the clothes?
Are you serious?
- Come here! Hey!
- Lo?
- Go. Come on, give me!
- Lo, are you kidding?
- Come on, give me! No, my hair!
- Lo?
Bug shit!
My hair!
Lo? This is crazy!
They have been about to kill us!
What a shit ...!
Leo. Lo? Hello?
Is there someone?
Lo?
Lo?
How disgusting I have you.
Lo?
What a mess you have thrown yourself!
Where is that asshole? Lo?
Lo! Lo!
Come on, I still have to say goodbye ...
What the fuck is that?
Come. Look, there is the boss.
Boss! You arrive in good time.
By the way, how do you say
"boss" in malawa?
Mapongo, great.
And how do you say "goodbye"?
I make up. Is always the same
word, mapongo.
And now I would like to say:
"i leave but I'll come back,
because it has been great,
thank you, but it was not milk. "
Papapapango!
Almost the same as popopongo,
it is too simple a language,
although practical, it must be said.
No, mapango means you have
the Mapongo worm on top.
You must stay still
or it will eat your brain.
You've had a ring.
Hey! You were fantastic!
I want to go home!
I have the toupees in the car.
Fuck, Gigi, where have you been?
They should first leave
of trying to kill us.
On the contrary, they just wanted to save you
of the lemonade snake.
Where are you?
But what...?
Lo?
- Lo?
- Leo?
No sign of Lo.
It is possible that...
If you let me?
That our friend had
a fatal encounter.
A black mamba,
a spotted hyena ...
By now it is likely
that he died an atrocious death.
It's hard to say because ...
we held him in very high esteem.
But you have to accept reality.
- Hey, Julien. That was not funny.
- I don't mean to be funny!
Maybe he has gone looking
to the rest of the team.
Naked? Has been left
clothes by the pond
Give to me.
Don't you have an elephant that can detect
our friend for the smell of his clothes?
Nerd. Don't give it to him!
Now you will not be able to recover it.
Everything you give the shaman
it is considered a gift.
Oh yeah? Like my brother!
The boss says Lo must have
lost, don't worry.
The bonfire light
will guide you to us
and then we'll laugh together
sheltered from the stars.
Well to tell the truth, a long time ago
that I don't laugh at nothing
And I doubt I'm going to do it now.
That does not mean that I do not know how to laugh,
But this situation does not deserve it!
When will the reinforcements arrive?
- The phone is missing.
- What?
- No more phones?
- No.
Some idiot will have it
given to the shaman.
I found a flight, Sam.
Goodness! Although I must tell you ...
- I do not plan to travel with those on TV.
- Have you seen Lo?
- Hala?
- Eh no. Lo, no. I am sorry.
- He'll end up coming back, you'll see.
- You know the area well.
- Come, it's time for dinner.
- Oh yeah?
- Yes.
- I am hungry.
- And me.
- I'll be right away.
- In agreement.
- Hala?
- Nico ...
- Hey! They have custard.
- Really?
- No, it's kidding.
Sam?
Yes, I'll go now.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
good evening.
Tonight, the Malawa people
honors us with one of his rituals
most ancient, the kukizenda.
Kukazando.
Yes, that, the kukazanda.
A ritual in which
they sacrifice a zebra,
that for them is their most precious asset
and main source of milk.
Therefore, on behalf of the team,
I thank you.
Thanks.
- Bravo!
- This is what TV is about.
In feeling the adrenaline of the moment.
By the way, did you know that I started
as a war reporter?
- Really?
- Yes.
During world war II?
That's impossible, think about it.
-Kukazando!
... sando!
It's for us?
Thanks.
No, not for me, thank you.
I have vomited before,
and through the nose.
'Krabou!
'Krabou!
- You must accept it.
- No, no, Sam ...
This morning they almost killed us
Julien and me for a silly thing.
I wouldn't play it, Krabou.
With great pleasure. Thanks.
I have one eye floating inside.
It is a good sentimental omen.
- Well...
- Oh yeah?
I'm going to test it.
Let's see how the damn zebra is.
- Well, it's not bad!
- Oh no?
It even seems good to me.
It is quite subtle.
- Yes.
- It has ... a touch of coriander.
Right, Nat?
- The eye is a little bitter.
- Congratulations, big boss.
This is an excellent dinner!
Really. And I say it without ...
without making obscene gestures,
Huh, you bastard?
- Don't translate that to him, Jeff.
- I'm loving it.
Yes, who was going to tell me.
Chunks have been left a bit hard.
- Damn, there are hairs on mine.
- What?
- It will be the tail of the zebra.
- What?
Sam, Sam. Look what i found
in the bowl.
Leo wore it hanging by his hair.
Not...
- In Kvin's bowl.
- It's Lo's clamp!
Thats hairs!
We are ...
Eating...
The idiot Lo.
They are cannibals!
They are not cannibals!
They only lives by hunting and gathering.
Too bad Lo isn't there.
He would love it.
No no no. Now do you want me to eat
a piece of your heart?
- I'm not going to do it.
- It's our friend's heart, it's ugly.
Although I don't consider him my friend either.
I have to speak to my agent.
I hope it's a joke
but it doesn't look like it!
- Give it a bite, I can't!
- Come on, Nat!
- Do not think about it!
- Come on, take a bite!
- But it's raw!
- Take a bite!
Go! Give it to him now! Go!
I have eaten Lo.
I have eaten Lo.
I have eaten Lo.
Well done.
I have eaten Lo.
I have eaten it.
I have eaten Lo.
I have eaten it.
I plan to give them birth
on Trip Advisor.
Why don't you shut up?
Why don't you shut up?
- I said it to break the ice!
- Calm down and breathe.
- Stop it!
- The Important thing in a crisis situation ...
- is to keep a cool head.
- Easy to say.
That here the only one
has eaten his eye is me!
Agree. Listen to me well.
We will choose a leader, and I believe
that the most natural thing is that the boss ...
- be me.
- No, the best thing is that I be the boss.
- I also.
- You see it?
No, that I also believe
that I should be.
What have been your greatest achievements?
The car license?
I am doctorate
in political science.
Have any of you won
the Champions League being captain?
The discussion is over!
The boss is me!
I'm the boss.
You, doctor, lower the smoke.
You, El Matador, why don't you come out
and do you hear the song of the crickets?
And you, are you going to make me a coffee,
because I need it to think.
Listen to me!
I am the most qualified to manage
a crisis situation.
Also, I'm going to tell you
something quite confidential.
By now I don't care.
I am a Mason.
Do you want to leave your game
to see who has it bigger?
The only thing that interests us now
is to get out of this nightmare!
I'm not going to let anyone eat me!
There is not much to eat either!
And I'm not ready to die!
Because i've never been
to the Cannes festival.
I've never won a Caesar!
I haven't even had a role
in a decent movie.
And I just broke up with my boy.
There will be no wedding!
And above it is manes,
and the guys I go to the psychologist.
And I can't even talk to him anymore!
Are you really a Mason?
Of course.
And that suits me in the boss, period.
Where will the phone be?
You have to ask for help.
- It must be in the shaman's trunk.
- Exactly. I'll go.
- You have to go find it.
- Me? What if you do it, Sam?
- I can't go, I'm the Krabou!
- Is this what you are looking for?
- The fact that?
- Yes, that's it.
Now do you listen to me?
What they give you!
- Not!
- Go find your fucking phone!
Take it easy! In order to!
- Calm down, Nathalie!
- Why did you do that?
-There you have your phone!
Peaceful!
You've been about
to condemn us all!
Its ringing!
- You've had a lot of noise.
- Hala?
R-Can you hear me?
"Yes, who are you?
I am Gg. You see, this is
has gotten out of hand.
- We are about to...
- Hello. Hi, I'm Sam.
The situation is grim.
These people are nuts.
They have loaded Lo and now
they want us to eat it.
- We are terrified.
- Sam, I appreciate your comment,
but right now we are
for jokes.
We are still trapped
in the middle of the storm.
- There is less parla and a half ...
- Do the favor of c allarte
and bring us your four by four,
or i will tear your eyes out
- and I'll give them to the hippos!
- Why don't we keep calm ?!
Fleet?
- Gigi?
- Tell me.
This is the head of the group.
These people are cannibals! I...
- It has been turned off.
- It has been turned off?
- It has no battery.
- Who is the idiot who has used it?
It was for emergencies only!
So, what can we do now?
It had to be Lo.
- What a bastard!
- Listen.
Because of their physique, they should have
food for two or three days.
- No, Lo does not give much.
- We will have some time!
No, no, what's up. In a couple of days
we will be mincemeat.
Can't you see that we are their prey ?!
It's like the Jaws movie,
but on land.
Tierraburn.
It does not have the same hook.
- We have to load anyway.
- What a shitty show.
I could have called Macron
if we still had the mobiles.
- To who?
- Macron loves my jokes.
He's been following me for a long time.
- They won't let us go.
- Of course!
If the team is not here
tomorrow night,
one of us
will have to sacrifice.
- Go now.
I know it's difficult, but ...
Who is willing to do it?
Any of you,
I do not care.
No I do not.
I can't do it, Julien.
I'll try to make a junction box
with camera batteries.
Well, guys. Enough of nonsense.
The phone is dead.
So shut up and let's get out of here.
- Uh!
- Hey, buddy, be careful.
I think you are confusing
crisis situation with familiarity.
That we have shared moments
he doesn't make us friends with Lo.
- No, who do you think?
- While the cannibals sleep,
this left-wing technician is leaving,
because you don't want to end up as mush.
- Bravo, well done. Coward!
- Leftist?
What does that have to do with anything?
I'm a socialist too!
Poor dear...
- Poor dear.
- Excuse me.
Aren't you the only one who understands
of survival?
- Don't leave without us!
- Waiting!
Some of you
help me fold the bed?
Some of you
help me fold the bed?
No no no!
If anyone wants
a brain fondue,
you just have to put me
a crouton for the ear.
Do you have water? Pass it on!
- Haven't you brought?
- Not.
It is necessary?
Why didn't you say it?
You don't know how to do anything for yourself.
You are spoiled stars.
You take a sip
without abusing and you give it back to me.
- Voucher.
- Without abuse...
- Shadow!
- Do not stop.
- Just a minute.
- Where is your humanity?
I can not anymore,
I can't feel my feet anymore!
Listen, what if we trade
shoes every five kilometers?
Uh, thanks.
That's what Friends Are For.
Tell me, Kvin, are you still single?
I live with colleagues.
Well, they are the ones who live with me.
- I didn't know this side of you.
- Already.
Do not worry. I am used to it
to wear tacos and to run with them.
- Oh yeah?
- Isn't that Lo's scarf?
- Yes and what?
- And that's his backpack.
Let's see, wherever I am
That poor devil doesn't need it anymore.
Sure. You are the worst scourge
of this continent.
Forgiveness?
Let's see.
We are here, and three kilometers away
there is a village with an airfield.
You just have to cross that stream.
So why on the go
we took a jeep,
a canoe and we stuck eight hours
walking at 60 degrees on Mars?
Because you had to prevail
the show.
What if I punch you ...?
Listen to me, clown!
I'm going to make things clear to you!
I'm not going to make you the ball.
I don't feel any admiration for you.
Your humor is too soft for me.
Yes, black humor suits me.
But I don't feel admiration either
for none of you.
So from now on
the first one who speaks ill to me,
- I break his nose!
- Said it remains.
- I shit on the fucking mother!
- What did we just say, idiot ?!
- I just got bitten by a bug!
- How?
- There is.
- Wow!
You got bitten by a
Leiurus Quinquestriatxxs.
This is the first time I have seen
one in person!
Its poison is three times as powerful
than that of the Cape cobra,
- which is already screwed ...
- What does that mean?
- Well...
- Well, you're going to palmarla.
- No my God!
- You have to extract the poison.
Someone come.
Come on, Nathalie.
- No way, I'm not going to suck your foot.
- But I just gave you my shoes!
- No way, I'm not going to suck your foot.
- But I just gave you my shoes!
Come on, you almost have it.
- My back is not so bad.
- Do you want to suck him?
- Me? Not.
- Come on, he'll help you, Matador.
- Thanks. Have.
- Do not move.
Now, you do like this and you suck it.
Come on, it's yours, Kvin!
- Suck! You can!
- You're going to paralyze me!
Well, that is better than dying.
- What are you doing?
- Bring here.
- I don't want to die.
- You have to make a cut.
Gg, leave me. I will do.
- A) Yes?
- Like a steak.
Bye.
- There is! Careful!
- Where?
There, do you see it? Look, look, look!
There there there!
- It's a scolopendra!
- One that?
It is harmless. You just have to remove
head and sip the vitamins.
No no no...
- I can not believe it!
- That's gross!
You will notice a little fever, nothing more.
You will notice a little fever, nothing more.
It is not worth lamenting.
Be positive, give thanks for being alive.
- Give me the knife.
- At this rate, he'll end up bleeding.
- The wound needs to be cauterized.
- I can not see it!
- I've never screwed up so much.
- May l?
Except that time I confused
to Michael Jordan
with a street vendor.
I was with my friends on a terrace
and he already had a few drinks on him ...
Hala, seared.
Why didn't you tell me that you had
another pair of shoes?
- Why are we not friends.
- Mud.
Behold! The village.
We are saved!
But I can't find the stream.
So the gray lines were this.
It was obvious. They mark the unevenness.
- Oh shit.
Oh my God.
It must be a joke.
We are next!
So, what can we do now?
0 we skirt the cliff to
find a bridge or jump,
we climb the cliff
and we arrived at dusk.
Or we abort and change plans.
Better, because this is
high that you shit.
And I do not have to swim
very well let us say.
And the impact would be the same as
that of an egg on cement.
In the contract it did not put any of this.
Do what you want, but I pass.
- Give me the backpacks.
- What?
Give me the backpacks!
- What do you want?
-Where she goes?
- But what are you doing, man ?!
- Why did you throw them away?
I need weight.
Zero, zero, one. Zero, zero, two.
Zero, zero, three.
Four seconds, 60 kilos,
we can jump Who goes first?
What?
Heroes are not on TV
but in real life.
Who will be the hero?
Is it because you lack
brand boots?
Is it because you lack your audience?
Is it because you lack the teleprontel?
As for the actress,
I better not ask you.
No sir, it's me. The nobody.
Who is it that saved you?
Gronimo!
- You clown.
- Yes.
- Record it for YouTube. Click here.
- Yes.
Go. Do the same as me,
no nonsense, okay?
- Well.
- Action!
Ge-ro-ni ...! Shit!
OH! Fuck!
Ow!
I have left the end.
Well. Let's go east.
Go.
Wait ... he's dead!
Shouldn't we dedicated
a prayer or something?
What the fuck is that?
Well ... a prayer.
This is how the Indians pray, right?
You do not get the blood
in the lead, right?
On going.
You are right.
It seemed quiet, but it had
a character of a thousand demons.
- And on top of that he has thrown our backpacks.
- Fuck you!
That you know that your death
It was a joke!
The shaman refuses to let the tribe
set out in search of him.
- He says they're bad.
- No no no. Please, big boss.
They are not normal people
like you and me.
They are famous people.
They hate everyone, it's normal.
Agree.
The chief says that the clan
you must take care of your guests.
The chief says that the clan
you must take care of your guests.
- against the shaman's opinion.
- Thanks. Thank you, boss.
They say the shaman is right.
- Hey, Wokabi ...
- Tell me.
Tell them to bring them ... alive.
Have you heard it?
The fact that? Not.
It had been a long time since I took a walk
without anyone asking me for a selfie.
I would give anything to be
in a traffic jam
with an exhaust pipe
all over the face.
I need to eat something, guys.
An elephant, a monkey ... a bear.
There are no bears in the savannah, Kvin.
- I haven't heard it for a long time.
- Really?
- What are you eating?
- Nothing.
- Please...
- Listens. I am...
eating those balls
that you see on the ground.
- Huh? This?
- Yes.
- They are natural fritters.
- And it's good?
It is a mix between
caramel and caper.
It doesn't kill me either.
I can't find the candy
just the ... caper.
Oh! Water!
-. '' What?
- Ah '. - n I! There is water ah ".
Yes!
Yes!
One moment! Wait, wait!
Wait! Wait!
- You have to hide.
- Where?
You have to hide behind the lion.
Hold on guys!
Move the booty.
Wow, I think he recognized me!
It will be that the lions
They watch TV a lot, Julien.
He has recognized me as a dominant male,
as leader, as head of the group.
No, when he wags his tail
it means it is about to attack.
Nat, do something!
You are Vro la vet!
It's a series, Kvin!
I am allergic to animals.
I swell all day
antihistamines!
Its coming!
Leave me!
In the jungle,
the ... terrible jungle ...
What are you doing?
Dead is the lion.
There's the lion.
- In the jungle ...
It works!
Yes, it's my baritone voice, it calms it down.
In the jungle, the terrible jungle,
dead is the lion.
- Awimbaue, awimbaue ...
- In the jungle,
the terrible jungle!
- Dead is ... the lion!
- No no no. Looser.
- Calm down, Julien!
- He's pissed off, Julien. Shut up now.
It was almost under control now.
It's going to eat us!
Do you want to drive me crazy?
Can't you see we're in trouble !?
We already know that you are
the king of the savannah!
Although the lionesses
do all the work!
So if you don't mind let's drink
a little of your disgusting water,
before leaving your kingdom
shit, okay?
Yes!
That's right!
Come on, guys. Let's drink!
- Negative.
- Maybe we should ...
- I think it's better not to run.
- In the jungle, the ...
- Don't start again.
- Don't run.
- Don't run! Don't run!
- Don't turn your back on them either!
A little elephant.
- You have to go faster.
- I do what I can.
- Do you want me to carry you on my shoulders?
- You don't have to bother.
We have to move forward if we want to get there
to the canoes before night.
Don't go so fast, Don Know-It-All.
Are you sure we go
in the right direction?
It looks like the sun will set over there.
Therefore, the east is there!
Yeah, but we are south of the equator.
Everything goes backwards here.
The water runs in the opposite direction.
Well this is the same. Give me your watch.
Carefully, that is a gift.
But what are you doing?! Are you crazy?
It's my Usain Bolt watch!
- You'll buy another one.
- Usain gave it to me at the Rio Games!
- It was hers!
"Oh, don't be so materialistic to me, Sam!"
That is part of the past.
Check out what compass I just made.
I've been a scout all my childhood
and pioneer until the age of twenty-three.
- I know what I'm doing to myself.
- And why haven't you used yours?
- Did you have another watch ?!
- Listens.
- Why haven't you used yours?
- The president of the chain gave it to me.
I guess with Usain Bolt's watch
We'll get out of here faster.
Oh, for the love of God, Julien!
Now we are lost
in the middle of nowhere!
Not to mention that the night
Is falling!
- Wow, it was fast.
- Amazing.
Was it my thing?
What a nightmare!
Nerd. Not...
"This is not a vacation," he said.
What a fool!
- Go faster.
Listen, Kvin.
You won't get anything
with some sunglasses.
It is also night
Do not you see it?
That it is impossible does not mean
that I can't do it.
Whatever you say.
'Geronimo! Turn ...
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening.
Julien Gosset-Grainville ...
live where you probably
be our last night.
A cold and icy night.
We only have one option:
share our human warmth.
Like those poor souls ... lost.
- Someone is coming?
- Isn't it an animal?
'Where?
'Ah! There are people!
- Hey! We are saved!
- Hey, come on! We are here!
We are here! We are here!
They are the malawas.
They are the malawas!
- They found us!
- They're going to gut us alive!
They're going to skewer us!
They have tigers!
- Help! Help!
- Run! Run!
- Help!
- I'm too pretty to die!
Do not separate! Do not separate!
Wait for me, I already lose them!
- Withdrawal!
- Wait for me!
Oh, let go of me, you bastards!
Let go of me, i told you
let me go!
Are you hungry?
Enjoy yourself!
In order to! You're giving me!
Shit, again! It's over.
Withdrawal! Withdrawal!
You bastards won't sink your teeth into us!
We are not hamburgers!
One moment, one moment.
Now what do they do?
Are they leaving already?
They retire, they retire!
- We have frightened them of the beauty!
- We have won!
Yes!
Let's not entertain ourselves.
They are coming back with knives!
- And with forks!
- And with plates!
Ow!
Ow!
Shit!
-What if we go further north?
More to the north?
If they go into the desert,
they are dead.
Hey! Is there a long way to go?
It's just a strip of sand.
If we go straight east,
soon we will find
a fishing village.
I'm dying of thirst.
Same as all.
I would say that we already have
passed through here.
- Let me see.
- Not?
Are you an idiot or what?
- Your compass is not moving!
- Oh no!
- When it is still it indicates the north.
- Let's see.
The north is out there
but it's out there too, right?
And it seems that there too!
You see it? It must be wrong!
No, woman.
I tell you that the north ...
- It's over there.
- We have been following you for a day,
And now we are lost
in the desert!
You ruined my watch! My watch!
To lose in this
fucking desert!
And I am about
to pass out!
What about me? I exist too!
And I will leave things
very clear, guys.
If we all die together in this desert,
they will only talk about me.
Because the only one who raises
passions here is me!
- The diva!
- I'm sorry to tell you that nobody cares about you.
- Even lions get past you!
- How? I am going to kill you!
He tried to assassinate me!
She's a fucking psycho!
Oh my back!
I can not move!
- I think we're trapped.
- Stop moving!
I can't breathe!
We are too useless
even to fight.
Wait, raise your arm.
Raise it up!
I've run my whole life.
And for what?
To die alone in the middle of the desert,
surrounded by morons.
I was unable to pick up the phone
my son at the airport.
I would have given everything to be
in the spotlight,
and it seems that in the end
I'll end up scorching.
We should have taken advantage
to observe the beauty of this world.
Learn to shared
with the people we love.
Become aware of the sound
we have to be alive and ..
Visit these lands.
- Did Kvin say that?
- Yes.
It is as if a hen
do a multiplication.
Why are you crying?
I could have scored more goals
But he had a dream!
I wanted to write songs and sing.
- Really?
- And I won't be able to do it anymore.
Do you see how there was something good in you?
Leave it alone.
This is the end of the end of the end.
Yes.
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening.
Hey!
Hey! Hey!
We are here, wait!
Waiting!
Do not go please!
Hey, wake up!
The helicopter is here!
- The helicopter!
- Hey! Here!
"Hey! Wait!
"Hey! Here!
Hey! Here! Hey!
- Oh no!
- They've seen us, haven't they?
- Come on! Go!
- They've seen us!
We are saved, at last!
- Go!
- Give me a hand, come on.
Go!
Come on! Come on! A little more.
Don't stop!
Go!
Come on!
We're.
Come here.
Yes!
Go.
It's the team!
Yes!
I told you it was around here.
We are alive!
We are here!
- Gigi! Gigi!
- Gigi! What a joy to see you!
What are you doing here?
Have they found you?
- They made it mush.
- They killed him!
- And they ate it.
- They ate it!
- They ate it!
- But who?
Oh, this is life!
What?
No...
You have done it!
Everyone is looking for you!
The Malawas, the police;
You had France in suspense!
- You weren't dead?
- No way!
- Haven't they eaten you?
- You're whole!
I almost feared the worst,
especially after seeing
Geronimo made broth.
Hi guys.
Cool.
Come on is he still alive?
It seems. He has told me that you have been
disrespecting the malawas.
What? Weren't they going to eat us?
But what are you saying?
They have come looking for you!
No!
But what a bunch of morons!
They came to rescue us.
- We've been assholes.
- Yes, some assholes.
- Exactly, some assholes.
- There, no need to scrub it.
And do you already have enough material to
that the final cut is funny?
Well, we'll figure it out.
As always.
Enjoy "Encounters in the end
of the end of the world with Vreal.
For you.
I plan to meet each of these children
and calls by name. That's.
- I have it! I have it!
- What?
Family, love, respect.
Are the values
that they have instilled in us,
but the reality is like that
from the beginning of time.
His people, his character, his smile ...
its simplicity.
This site makes me feel
better person, better human being.
Good evening.
Welcome to this memorable meeting
at the end of the end of the world.
With all of you heroes.
- Good evening.
- Good evening.
Welcome, Sam. Welcome, Kvin.
Welcome Julien. Welcome, Nathalie.
You see.
Let's put ourselves in situation.
You decide to take some night shots
with our camera, Gronimo,
that accompanies us today.
Bravo!
You move away from the camp
and suddenly ... you get lost.
For thirty-six hours you have us
everyone with their hearts in their fists,
while you,
lost in the vastness of the desert,
you escape death.
An experience that
has scored for life.
So Sam tell me
- what has changed for you?
- It is obvious.
He has scheduled four more performances
in the french stadium and has exhausted them in five minutes.
'Wow!
'Oh yeah?
!! Congratulations!! Bravo.
I am very happy that they are sold out,
although later I hope I can
take a year off
go to California for a while.
Now I need to pass
more time with my son,
before it gets tired
of his father's jokes.
- I doubt that will happen.
- How moving.
Thanks.
Now let's go to Julien.
I have the feeling that there has been
one before and one after.
- If true.
- They told me you're leaving Paris
- to move to Biarritz.
- I-he had to live this experience ...
so that I accept at once
that time passes.
But it's not that hard when you are
surrounded by people you love,
like my wife, Alice.
That deserves applause.
Nathalie, your name is in the mouth
of all movie producers.
Does that mean that Vro
the veto retires?
- No! No...!
- What are you saying! Come now!
The truth is that tonight
I don't feel like talking
of my career or my life.
All I know is that I have
the need to help others.
It is very noble of you.
Big!
You deserve it, Nathalie. Bravo.
Kevin,
Tell me, what has changed for you?
Well ... nothing at all.
- Can't you hear it, Kvin?
- Ah, that!
Number one in sales, almost nothing!
Let's see it, Kevin. Bravo.
Kukazando, kukazando.
Share life together.
'rude we are one.
We are all one.
Ku-ka-zan-do!
We are all one.
We are all one.
Ku-ka-zan-do!
Bravo!
Just say it's me
who has written the lyrics
- and for me this is very important.
- I'm very sorry to interrupt, but ...
What do you think if we leave
to talk about us
and we do a little tribute
to the Malawas, that proud people,
noble, who lives happily with all that
that God has given them, what is nothing?
Certain.
In fact, they have taught us a lesson
of life that we will never forget,
- which is humility.
- Humility.
I have the impression that this
adventure has ...
- united forever.
- Yes, of course.
Moreover, I would even say that we
we have become very good friends.
And you say it!
On the other hand, I must announce to you
that according to the last survey
from Le Journal du Dimanche,
you are the four celebrities.
THE FAVORITES OF THE FRENCH
favorites of the French.
'What?
"Not!
- Woof!
- In agreement! Very well!
- Humility, humility, humility.
- Sure.
- Everything that goes up must come down.
- Well said, Kvin.
What you have done is very humble,
since you are number one.
- Not!
- You are number one, thanks to your single.
- I do not get it.
- We return after a little pause.
Wait wait.
Number one of what?
- What's that about number one?
- Did only the hooligans vote?
- It means I'm the most popular.
- It's not because of that. Waiting.
That you are popular
It does not mean that you are an idiot.
- But what are you doing?
- No, Julien. Enough.
If they had seen you pulling
stones to the malawas,
I doubt you were number one.
You wan't to speak about it ?
If you'r going to California its to record
your little shitty show in english?
- You disappoint me, Sam.
- On air in twenty seconds.
-Let's calm down a bit!
Listen to me, Julien.
Have you still not told your wife
that you go back to work next month?
And as news director!
As a news director!
- It's just to improve the audience!
- Can we calm down?
- On antenna in five seconds.
- Now I understand that your boyfriend left you!
- You deserve it.
- Let's go live, guys.
- Krabou!
- Gronimo, help me!
- Krabou!
- I'm going to rip your head off!
- We are on the air!
- Come here. Come here!
Sit down now, please!
We are live.
- Leave it alone!
- Come and help me, Geronimo!
- Krabou!
- We are live!
Now try to shoot the strongest
what you can with the instep.
You see it? This is the instep.
The instep.
Right instep or instep
left according to your ergonomics.
Agree? Let's stop theory
and let's go to practice.
Look look. Look at El Matador. Attentive.
That's!
This is an Arab,
a Chinese and a Belgian.
And a malawa. There are already four.
And they go in ... no.
An Arab, a Chinese and a Belgian
they go on a plane
and the pilot turns and says:
"Don't you have enough?"
Is that in France always
we make jokes
with a Belgian, an Arab and a Chinese.
Every night I come out of a small box
to talk to families
and people love to listen to me.
Maybe one day
I hope soon,
television reaches the village.
Because that will mean
that your way of life will be ...
Yes, Krabou!
Very well.
I am a specialist
in Ancient Egypt.
And I know myself all
the Imhotep dynasty.
Do you know Imhotep?
Well, he has a woman
the evil queen, Fopatep.
And within this great dynasty ...
there is the grandson he wants
take power, Kikatep,
who was murdered
by Nohesidoyoketep.
Voucher. You are a difficult audience.
Nathalie, come here. Come here.
Sight.
Do you see her ?!
This is a Tripfwopkwuum Spectamm.
- A very rare carnivorous plant.
- Not.
- What?
- It's the other plant.
You're right, that's it.
That is.
I see. You have the same adventurer
than me as a veterinarian.
- What a nightmare!
- Cut now.
Kukazando, kukazando.
Let's share life together.
Kukazando, kukazando.
Let's share life together.
Kukazando, kukazando.
Let's share life together.
Kukazando, kukazando.
Let's share life together.
All men are the same
All men are the same
Ku-ka-zan-do!
All women are the same
All women are the same
Ku-ku-ku ka-ka-ka-kazan-do!
All hungry: you add friends,
Let's learn to share life !.
All hungry: you add companions,
Let's learn to share bread.
All females add colleagues,
Let's learn to share the water
Ku-ka-zan-do!
Instead of "action" I say "cut".
- Oh my!
- Oh! What a marvel, the virgin!
OMG!
I ordered them to bring it to me
before coming...
Wait, what's going on there?
Before coming here.
When you study the problem,
you find the solution.
Because that is France.
Cut.
- Oh sorry. I am sorry.
- Let me. Let me take it.
Let what?
Action!
It will help you, Matador.
Sorry, I don't bring the backpack.
Go find her. Here I wait for you.
You have to return to your site.
Hey.
That he had a fatal encounter
ay ay ay...
Like the one I've been
about to have.
Kvin ... Hey, here. Clean the shit
from the forehead, will you?
Forgiveness. Can we repeat it again
if possible? I am sorry.
- Action!
- Go!
You have the Mapongo worm on you!
- Sorry, I didn't get it right.
- I was doing great!
Voucher.
What is fame? Tell me,
What is fame in the end and after all?
I get off the plane and people: "Ramzy!"
Now when I get off, they'll say, "Sam!"
Hears. That they are mine!
Give me my popcorn! Give them to me!
No, if he doesn't care.
- Now what did he have to say?
- I see you haven't done your homework.
Shit.
Rich!
Gronimo!
Fuck me!
I have a monkey right in front of me.
Second take.
Action!
Forgiveness!
Tierraburn.
It does not have the same hook.
We repeat.
It does not have the same hook.
The newspaper is in German,
Could you change it?
Yes, Vanessa?
That little breast!
Oh!
When you move
You move me too
- We want her to go out alone.
- Yes, I understand.
- Is Vero. See it go.
- I already do it. There you go.
Thanks.
Short, Gg.
Thanks.
Thanks.
KRABOU WHO READS IT!