Men Call It Love (1931) Movie Script

Oh, that's nice.
Joe learns bridge
at a corrspondence school.
But the last ten lessons
went astray in the mail.
- Smart, aren't you?
- I have to be, enough for two.
Do you two always fight?
I'm sorry.
No, sometimes Joe
has to stop for hiccups.
Here, take my place,
will you, Gracie?
I sometimes think
how heavenly it would be
if Joe had some nice, quiet affliction.
Like, well, like sleeping sickness.
Can't we fight over something
that doesn't require any intelligence?
Hello, my dear.
Wait a minute, Ben.
I've got something
I'm simply dying to tell you.
You know the shrubbery our there?
Well, I was walking along just now...
- What is it, head or tails?
- Tails.
- Heads, you lose.
What are you matching for?
To see who would rescue you
from your wife.
What's that?
I always carry it as a good luck piece,
the first I ever won.
A guy that doesn't have to work
at anything but golf...
doesn't need a good luck piece.
Oh, it isn't only golf.
Name any game in which
you can have a twosome...
- ... and Minot is an expert.
- Oh, yeah?
And he has another business
besides that.
- What?
- Jumping out of bedroom windows.
Well, it's nce work if you can get it.
Callie, dear, could you send
a little bicarbonate of soda to Joe?
- Certainly.
- Either that or a little prussic acid.
If you'll pardon me, gentlemen,
I'll try and live up to my reputation.
- Oh, do you mind, Mills?
- Not much.
- Why, darling!
- He tried to cut in again.
But you won't be able
to avoid him forever.
And anyway, you mustn't dance
every dance with your own wife.
I don't intend dancing
every dance with you.
I intend to sit out some of them.
Looking for someone?
- I was looking for you.
- Liar.
Ladies and gentlemen!
My mistake.
It's just to say we didn't throw
this party just to pass out a little food.
We had another object
in bringing you here.
Well, as you all know, we're not the sort
to wear our hearts in our sleeves.
In fact we're not the sort to wear
any more than the law allows.
That's why we've chosen
this festive occasion
for the sad announcement
you're about to hear.
Good heavens, Callie,
you don't mean to tell us...
...that you've run out of that
pre-war stuff.
Oh, not that serious.
No, my friends,
it's simply the fact that the old
established firm of Callie and Henry...
has on this day been dissolved
forever and ever...
On with the dance.
- What a perfectly divine stunt, darling.
- Congratulations, darling.
Listen, Henry old man,
you can't go through with this.
- Why not?
- It doesn't give us anyplace to go weekends.
Don't worry, the junior partner...
will be found at the same address as usual.
And the senior partner will be found
at a lot of different addresses... as usual.
- Well, that was a new one, Callie.
- Imagine surprising you.
Callie Brooks, I hate you.
Why didn't I think of this first?
You're not leaving Joe, are you?
No, but I would in a minute if I could think
of a gag as smart as this.
Connie, what's the matter, dear?
Come on, honey,
let's get out of this.
All right.
Now don't be upset, Connie.
That means nothing in Callie's young life.
Maybe she has too much pride
to let us know
just how much it does mean to her.
That's the only excuse I can find for it.
Oh, forget it. You know Callie.
She's just trying to be funny.
- Brush your hair back, darling.
- Huh? Oh...
What is it?
What's the matter, old man?
It's getting worse every minute.
- I'm looking for Helen.
- I'll find her for you, Joe.
Come on, you'd better sit down, Joe.
- See if I can get him some bicarbonate.
- All right.
You wait here.
I'll be right back.
Well, it's really grown cold,
hasn't it?
- What has?
- Our love.
Oh, nonsense.
Have you tried to kiss me
once tonight?
- No, but I still love you, Helen.
I could feel the gears grinding that time.
- Oh, my dear...
- No, no thanks,
I don't want you to kiss me now.
- You mean you don't want to kiss me.
- No, not anymore.
- Why suddenly this?
- Ir isn't sudden.
You stopped caring for me
at least a month ago.
About that time you began
to get... cautious.
It seemed to occur to you for the first time
that I was a married woman.
You know, Tony,
Connie's a married woman too.
- What are you talking about?
- Never mind.
I really don't care.
After all, this is
a very successful affair...
...and of course we must remain
the best of friends.
We have many tournaments before us.
Love can be tossed aside.
But golf, oh, golf must go on forever.
Well, good-bye.
Oh, Tony!
Look out!
Helen, oh, I've been looking
all over for you.
Joe's terribly sick.
I really think you should...
I know what I should do with him,
but it would be just my luck
to get a jury of women.
- Where is he?
- With Jack in the library.
You know, you really
ought to be in vaudeville.
That disappearing act that you've been
getting away with all evening is rather good.
- Disappearing act?
- You know what I mean.
You might at least
have saved me one dance.
Oh. Well, you see, it's like this, Tony.
You know, the thought of dancing
with such a good golfer...
is enough to make a poor dove like me
swoon with embarrassment.
That's just an excuse.
You can't be that bad.
No? Want to see my score for today?
- Two callouses and a blister.
- Oh, that's too bad.
Some days it's different, though.
Some days it's just two blisters
and a callous.
You know, there's nothing to prevent you
from being a good golfer if you'll just...
...not tighten up when you hit the ball.
Just loosen up.
Oh, I've tried to loosen up, Tony.
But I guess I'm just not the type.
I have an idea.
You know how loose you feel...
...when you take your practice swing
at an imaginary ball?
- Hm-hmm.
- Well,
when you step up to hit the actual ball
just pretend that it isn't there.
Make believe that it's
another practice swing.
Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.
- I beg your pardon, Vicky, do you mind?
- Surely.
Take a swing, now.
Go ahead.
Go on, try.
All right.
- There you are.
- Why, Tony, that's genius!
- Not a bad idea, if I do say so.
- Why, it opened up a whole new world for me.
Now be loose, be loose.
Make believe the world isn't fair,
make believe it's a buster.
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
You know, I really believe
she's going to make a very good golfer.
Yes, no doubt of it.
It's nothing but nervousness.
Every doctor has told him the same thing.
Nervousness, huh?
Well, I wish you had it.
No thanks, you keep it.
Ooh... there it goes again.
Jumping across my heart.
Watch the way my hand hits.
That's the way my heart is hitting
all the time.
Oh, it's terrible.
Now my heart isn't beating at all.
Can I depend on that?
Do you hear that?
That's the way it is all the time.
No pity, so sympathy.
I bet if it was Tony Minot...
you'd be a ministering angel.
- What do you mean by that?
- That's all right what I mean.
- I know what I mean.
- Now listen, you two...
No, I'm going to have this out
right now.
I want to know what you mean.
I was wondering if golf
was the only attraction.
That's all.
- Then I'm wrong.
- Yes, you're wrong.
All right, I'm wrong.
So at last the devil feasts...
- And now I want you to apologize.
Oh you do, huh?
Well, I'll think about it.
You'll apologize right now.
I apologize.
I accept it.
- Started something, huh?
- Started, yes.
I can't hand you much on the finish.
- My trouble is I can't prove anything.
- Then you shouldn't have started it.
I couldn't help it. But I've been suspicious
for a along time.
Oh, you poor looney dyspeptic.
There's nothing between
Minot and Helen but golf.
They're both good players.
Naturally they like playing together.
- Oh, it's more than golf all right.
- Yeah?
- Then why did you apologize?
- I might be wrong.
Even then don't apologize.
Don't ever apologize.
Listen, you're not in such a good spot.
He seems to be as interested in Connie
these days as he is in Helen.
Heaven knows there's nothing about
Connie's golf that would appeal to him.
What of it? I suppose he's falling
in love with Connie.
What good's it going to do him?
- Well, you're a confident kind of...
- Hey, listen, Joe,
I would trust Connie
with the United States marines.
And I'd throw in the navy
for good measure.
Well, for a man who has a wife
as devoted as you think yours is...
well, you don't seem to repay her
very well for it, do you?
- What do you mean by that?
- You know what I mean.
No, I don't.
Well, you aren't very
faithful to her, are you?
- Say, what are you talking about.
- Don't try to kid me, Jack.
Oh, I'm not going to shoot my face off.
Everybody knows that you
and that Follies girl er...
- What's her name, er... Dolly?
- Who told you that?
Well, you can't keep those things
under your hat.
They tell me she's a beauty, is she?
That's all over, Joe, long ago.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah. I love Connie.
- Too much to hurt her.
- Oh, you do?
Yes, I do.
Oh, well. there goes my heart again.
Say Joe, listen.
You didn't say anything
about that to Helen, did you?
- To Helen?
- Yeah.
I might as well tell Connie herself.
Oh, well come on,
let's get out of here.
- There you are, miss.
- Thank you.
Oh, Helen, I could simply kiss Tony.
- I daresay it could be arranged.
- Do you know what he's done?
- He's made me loose.
- Already?
It didn't take any time at all.
Loose, loose, loose.
Fine advice. But that's what cost
Henry his happy home.
- What's the matter, Helen?
- You wouldn't know, would you?
- No, what is it?
- Well, it's quite simple.
I've fallen out of love.
You mean you don't love Joe anymore?
I couldn't love Joe any less.
But Helen, if it isn't Joe, who is it?
I thought it was golf between you two.
It made a great excuse, didn't it?
Lucky you play too.
Don't look so innocent, Connie.
I know he's in love with you now.
Oh, no!
And we tried so hard to keep it from you.
You succeeded until a few days ago.
Tell me.
How long has it been going on?
Oh, didn't you know?
Why, for months.
Jack was over at the club every night
so we could have
the whole house to ourselves.
You're not going to give
anything away, are you?
Oh, don't be like that, Helen.
Tony isn't interested in me.
And even if I had broken up
your little flirtation...
It was just a flirtation, wasnt it?
It's time Mommy's little girl
learned about the facts of life.
- Shocked, I suppose.
- Yes, I'm afraid I am.
Yes, you are.
Be your age, Connie.
He has hurt you, hasn't he, Helen?
I'm sorry.
Ready to go?
And lock myself with Joe
for the night?
No, thanks.
- Well, good night.
- Good night, Connie.
- Mind going now?
- Not if we can bum a ride, darling.
What's wrong with our car?
I tried to play ambulance for Joe
and the batteries are dead.
What's the matter, something wrong
with your car?
- I'd be happy to give you a lift.
- That's awfully nice of you, Minot, but...
Oh now, it's Tony, the lifesaver.
Come on, we'll have to make
pretty speeches to Callie first.
Come on in, Tony.
You deserve a drink for this.
Oh, there isn't a drink in the house.
Sorry, old man.
Good night, thanks for bringing us home.
Wait, wait, wait. Would you like to see
a little sleight of hand?
- No.
- Absolutely nothing under the sleeves.
Now pay very very close attention.
There you are!
Which shall it be?
Oh, is there no limit
to this man's genius?
- Come on in, Tony.
- Yeah, come on in.
- Throw your coat anywhere, Tony.
- Thanks.
- And get some ice, will you, darling?
- All right.
Say, Tony, how would some sanwiches go?
- They'd go fast.
- Oh, I knew I shouldn't have asked tat one.
- Connie.
- Hm?
How would you like to be
my partner in the tournament?
But you're playing with Helen.
Don't you want to play with me
in the tournament?
If you want to be a good golfer,
I can make you one.
What do you say?
Why are you offering me
this string of pearls?
Well, I suppose because I like you.
- Isn't that all right?
- How much?
A lot. Isn't that all right too?
Oh, Tony. I think you'd better
stick to Helen.
You might be a little disappointed in me.
- You don't like me, do you?
- Oh, yes.
Yes, but not a lot.
No, and I don't think I'd like you at all
if you weren't such a good golfer.
Well, that isn't very pleasant to hear,
but it's honest.
Say, tell me something, Tony.
Did you ever fall in love
with a woman who wasn't married?
No, I don't believe I ever have.
Well, that's honest too.
Do you think you could like me
any better if I could prove to you that I...
wasn't entitled to my reputation?
No, not specially.
- I think you're in love with your husband.
- Yes, I am.
- I really believe you are
- Oh, there's no doubt about it.
- Well, well!
- Isn't that all right?
Well, it's all right,
but it's very astonishing.
Oh, Tony...
Well, you see,
that's the way things are...
in this house.
What a pity.
I think Jack needs me.
Jack, what are you doing?
Give me that.
Say, I guess this fella's a palooka, eh?
Gee, that fight next week's
gonna be a honey.
Yeah? Well the fight tonight's
going to be a honey.
You ought to hustle these drinks.
- Be careful!
- You see, I almost broke my knee.
It's funny, I suppose.
Say, Connie, listen...
Send Minot in here, will you?
Oh, Jack!
Say, Connie, listen...
You don't really like
that big stiff, do you?
- Hm?
- Oh, you don't, do you?
- Oh, jealous?
- No.
Ou, you are too now, aren't you?
Just a little bit? Just that much?
Not the slightest.
Say, Jack...
I think I ought to confess
something to you.
I think it's only fair.
What do you mean?
You won't be terribly hurt, will you?
Good Lord, Connie,
what are you talking about?
Well, if Tony did mean a little to me,
just a little...
would you care very much?
Oh, Jack!
Oh, honey, I didn't mean it.
I was only fooling, honestly I was.
Would it be possible to make you believe
I cared anything for anyone...
except you?
Don't you know whom I love
with all my heart?
Don't you?
Yes, I know.
- And whom do I love, huh?
- Me?
- You're sure of that, aren't you?
- Positive.
I wish we were alone.
- Say, let's get rid of him, will you?
- We can't do that. We asked him in.
All right, now I'll ask him out.
- Oh Jack, you wouldn't dare.
- Oh wouldn't I? You watch.
- Listen, honey, I'd be awfully embarrassed.
- Well, don't let him see you.
Yes, but Jack, wait...
- How are you going to do it?
- Elementary, my dear Watson.
I shall listen to his paino playing
for a few minutes
pass a few friendly remarks
and then tell him to get
the blazes out of here.
- Then what? He'll only laugh.
- Aha!
They laughed when the headwaiter
spoke to me in French.
- You know what happened that time.
- I'll bet this is going to be good.
- Here's your drink, Tony.
- Thanks, old man.
- Look out for the varnish.
- Oh, don't worry about that.
I never worry about varnish.
I drank too much of it.
- You're quite a pianist, Tony.
- Oh, I strum.
- Say, Tony...
- Hello?
Tell me, Tony,
what did you come here for?
- Hm?
- What do you want?
- What do you mean?
- You didn't come here to see me.
You and I don't like each other,
you know that.
Oh, I didn't know that.
Well you know it now.
Can you give me a rough idea
what this is all about?
Why, certainly.
The only interest fou you
in this house is Connie.
And your interest in Connie
doesn't interest me.
In other words, how would you like
to get the blazes out of here?
Are you serious?
It's your house.
Yes, sir.
My house. Now you keep
that fact constantly in mind...
and I predict a happy and...
safe future for you.
Say good night to Connie for me.
All right.
Didn't I leave two bottles here?
Why, yes, yes,
I believe you did, but uh...
I'll send them to you.
- You know, I see what she sees in you.
- Thanks.
And she loves you, if that's any news.
Well, it's not news,
but I am always glad to hear it.
You're right, I am interested in Connie.
Or I would be, if I ever had
any encouragement, which I haven't.
No, she's all for you.
- I'm lucky.
- I think so.
And if I were you
and had a wife like Connie,
believe me, I'd appreciate her.
I'm hanged if I'd be playing around
with a Follies girl the way you are.
Good night, Mills.
Connie, you don't believe that, do you?
You don't, do you?
Why, it's so ridiculous.
It's just a foolish mistake,
This is how it happened.
I mean, I see how the mistake happened.
You see, there was a friend of mine...
he's going with a Follies girl...
Well, one night he asked me
out to dinner...
this friend of mine and this Follies girl.
He was called away on business
before we were through and...
well, naturally I finished dinner with her.
Well, just to be seen with a girl
who's as well known as she is...
well, it's enough to start a rumor.
But that's all there was to it.
And you've never seen her since?
Why didn't you tell Tony that?
I was stunned. I didn't know
what he was talking about.
You believe me, don't you?
I try to believe you...
I've just got to.
Connie... Connie, look at me.
You know I love you.
You couldn't lie to me, could you?
Connie, if I'm lying to you now,
I hope I'm struck dead.
Oh, darling.
It's all right, it's all right, dear.
Oh, you mustn't blame me
for being so silly.
It's just because I love you
so much, that's all.
Surely, darling.
It's just too ridiculous
my getting upset like this, I...
Oh, what's the matter with me?
And there's never been
another woman either, has there?
You've always been all mine?
You know I've never loved
anyone but you, Connie.
What is it, dear?
Just thinking.
What a cruel thing a rumor is.
Even when you know it isn't true it...
gives you thoughts
you never had before.
I wish I hadn't heard it.
I wish... I wish I hadn't.
It's the last time they'll go
fooling around in the moonlight.
Callie, what are you and Kate
muttering in your beer today?
Oh well, I'll tell you.
You see...
Wait a minute.
- Helen! Helen Robinson!
- Yes, Callie? You want me?
No, darling, I just want to make sure... were here before I started
talking about you.
- I'll tell you later, girls.
- Don't mind me, go right ahead.
Well, if you really don't mind...
I was just wondering if I dare ask Helen
down for the weekend.
You know, I've already invited Tony
and I have a hunch that...
We've had a row. Correct.
But I'll accept for your sake, Callie.
Nothing like a good fight
to liven up a dull weekend.
Thank you, darling.
Help! Help, somebody, will you,
I'm suffocating.
Depends on who it is. I know 20 women
I'd love to see suffocate.
It's Connie, you can tell
by the blisters on her hands.
Well, that's different.
Did you have a golf lesson, darling?
I'm not having
any golf lessons, you goof.
- Connie!
- Just a minute.
I'm in an awful hurry.
I've got to meet Jack.
Tell him I expect you both
for the weekend.
Oh, I'd love it, Callie.
If Jack hasn't made some other plans.
- I'll let you know right away.
- If he has, bring somebody else's husband.
How about me, Callie, can I bring
somebody else's husband instead of Joe?
You don't have to, darling.
You'll grab somebody else's husband
the minute you get there.
Oh, Tony!
Oh, hello, Connie.
It's awfully nice to see you.
- Have you missed me?
- No, not a bit.
- Well, then.
- I just wanted to tell you something, Tony.
- Well, what is it.
- You were wrong about Jack.
You know, what you said
about that Follies girl.
- How did you know about that?
- I overheard what you said to him.
- Oh.
- You were wrong.
- Well, it wouldn't be the first time.
- What do you mean?
The first time I've been wrong.
What did you think I meant?
Oh, I see.
It was careless of me, Connie.
I'm sorry.
I didn't know what I was talking about.
You're quite right.
He explained how it all happened.
I mean, how the rumor got about.
That's exactly what it was, a rumor.
Yes, well you shouldn't take
so much for granted.
No, I shouldn't.
I think it's rotten the way
a thing like that gets around.
Don't you think there aren't
any decent people left in the world?
- Of course there are.
- Well, there aren't.
And there isn't anything or anybody
that can come between us, ever.
I'm sure of that.
And if you ever hear anymore about it
I wish you'd have
something to say against it.
Thanks, Tony.
- Good-bye, Connie.
- What's the time, Brandt?
- Half past four, Madam.
Well, that'll give us plenty of time
if Mr. Mills isn't late.
Never mind, I'll answer it.
Oh, hello, Tony.
Yes, I'm going to Callie's.
Of course Jack's going.
Don't be silly, Tony.
He can't throw you out of there.
No, it isn't his house.
It was Jack.
Jack, my husband.
You remember him.
All right, Tony.
- What did that pest want?
- Oh, just a gag.
He wanted to know if it was safe
for him to go to Callie's.
I've got bad news for you, Connie.
I won't be able to go myself,
at least not till tomorrow.
Oh, Jack!
I'm sorry, but I'll see you
tomorrow morning.
- But Jack, why?
- I've got a date.
I've got to go right back to town.
- A date?
- Yes, a business date.
- Who with?
- Sam Ellery, from Saint Louis.
- You know him.
- No, I don't. I never heard of him.
Why, sure you do, honey.
He's one of our biggest customers.
He's going away tomorrow so this is
my only chance to see him, tonight.
- Oh, Jack.
- What is it?
Oh, I don't know.
Nothing, I guess, just disappointed.
Oh, so am I, honey,
but you know how it is..
it's just one of those things.
- What are you going to do?
- I've got tickets to the fight.
Dinner first, of course.
But you don't dress for a fight.
Honey, I can't dine with him
in a cafeteria, can I?
Anyway, you're supposed to look smart
at fights these days.
What fight is it?
The light heavyweight championship
of the world.
And will it be good.
Oh, you kow, boxing is the only
sport there is.
These fellows will talk
about golf and baseball
But listen, honey, don't worry.
I'll be with you in the morning.
Come on, kiss me.
- Why, you didn't kiss me.
- Yes, I did.
- Oh, you're disappointed, aren't you?
- Hm-hmm.
Well, I hope you have a rotten time.
You're gonna miss me very much?
How much?
Do you think Mr. Ellery would mind
if I went with you to the fight tonight?
- Oh, you're kidding.
- No, I'm not.
- Will you take me?
- Will I?
- You will?
- Oh, boy...
I've been trying to get you
to go to the fights
hundreds of times and you've always refused.
And you know what this one
is going to be?
No. Will it be good?
Will it be good?
Just a wow, that's all.
Just the battle of the century.
- Say, Jack.
- Huh?
Will there be very much...
you know, blood and everything?
Oh, no...
well, what if there is a little...
- Oh, Jack!
- Listen, they never hurt when they bleed.
Why, I've seen a guy
get socked in the nose...
- ...and just spray all over the ring.
- Oh, Jack, please!
What's the matter?
I don't think I'll go.
Oh, I shouldn't have said that.
That's all right, darling.
- Gee, I'm so happy.
- Huh, why?
- Because you wanted me to go.
- Why shouldn't I want you to go?
Oh, no reason, silly.
Hey, will you please learn
to keep that hair off your face?
Yes, ma'am.
Oh, I've got to hurry
or Callie will be furious.
- All right, I'll help you with the bags.
- Don't bother.
Bother? Say, what's a husband for anyway?
Oh, no. Now you go on with Mr. Whosis
and have a grand time.
All right, all right, come on.
Well, I have to put my hat on.
Yes, sir.
One moment, please.
- Mr. Ellery on the telephone, sir.
- Oh, well, tell him some anecdotes.
I'll be right back.
Hold on. Mr. Ellery.
Don't bother about me,
I have to hurry anyway.
- Are you sure you'll be all right?
- Of course, silly.
- Try and make it for breakfast.
- You bet.
Oh, Brandt. Brandt, mix me a cocktail
when you come back in, will you?
It's ready now, sir.
Hello, Sam.
Yeah, I just started.
I'll be dressed in a couple of minutes.
No, I don't know her.
No, I never heard of her.
Oh, no, oh, no.
I'm taking you to the fight.
Yeah, but no women.
All right.
All right, I've reformed then.
Yeah, I'm not kidding.
All right, I'll see you later.
Hello, Helen.
- Three cheers.
- Why?
- Three long, deep, rousing cheers.
- Hooray, but what's happened?
- Joe's gone to the house party without me.
- Oh, another brawl, I suppose.
Hm-hmm. And Jack, you understand...
I'm not wishing him any
hard luck or anything,
Connie, yoo-hoo!
Oh no, Connie's gone.
She's gone to Callie's.
- Well, aren't you going?
- I'm all tied up tonight.
Well, I bet I'll have a better time
than any of you.
I mean to celebrate, I do.
- I'm going away from here.
- Good-bye.
- Good-bye.
- Your cocktail, sir.
Oh, but not yet.
Oh, no, not yet.
- Another glass, Brandt.
- A cocktail is just what I need.
Seems to me you've had several already.
Hm-hmm, that's just a natural result
of knowing I shan't see Joe for two days.
Oh, Jack, I feel like singing.
- Listen to me at this piano.
- Oh, must you?
# I can't give you anything but love, baby #
# That's the only thing #
# I've plenty of, baby #
# Dream awhile, scheme awhile,
you're sure to find #
# Happiness, and I guess #
# All those things #
# you've always pined for #
# Gee, I'd like to see you #
# looking swell, baby #
# Diamond bracelets Woolworth's #
# doesn't sell, baby#
Happy days!
Success to crime.
- Well, how is it?
- It's perfect.
Say, Helen, tell me. Are you going
to play in the tournament this week?
No, my partner and I are on the outs.
- Oh, Minot, huh?
- And who can I get instead.
- If you were any good, I'd play with you.
- Me? Me golf? Oh, no thanks.
- Boxing is my game.
- Really?
Well, I suppose it is a thrill
to knock a man down.
But of course, I like something
with some skill to it.
- Oh, boxing has no skill.
- No, not a bit.
Oh, you're crazy.
In golf you have time to think.
In the ring
you've got to think like... like...
Now look, here's the blow coming, see...
You see it coming,
you duck just that much...
...and the blow only goes there.
- But it does go there.
- Well, what of it?
You don't go down
unless you get it on the button.
- Button?
- Point of the jaw.
Let a bozo catch it on the button
and you'll hear every undertaker
in the house making bids for the body.
But just being hit here,
I like that, do I?
- Hm, I see.
- All right, look, here...
Now wait a minute, I'll show you.
Stand up.
All right, now.
Try to hit me.
See? I blocked with the right
and led with my left.
- All in less than a second.
- Why, Jack, it is interesting.
- Sure.
- I didn't know it was anything like that.
I thought they just hit each other.
I never could understand
why they didn't just use clubs.
Why, it's beautiful.
It's like fencing.
Oh, that reminds me. I've got to bid you
a sad farewell shortly...
I'm going to a fight.
Well, give me another cocktail
before you go, host.
- All righty.
- Tell me, did you ever fight?
Well, a little, as an amateur
at the club.
Really? You must be strong.
Oh, no... Oh, well, I'm fair.
I didn't know you could do anything
as good as that.
Why, they say I was the best boxer
in the history of the club.
- Of course it's only a club.
- But it's a big club, isn't it?
Just the biggest in the world,
that's all.
And I'd like to tell you
another thing, Helen.
I, uh...
Oh... it would sound
as if I were bragging.
Oh, no, Jack, go on.
Tell me, please.
Well, I always had a secret idea.
That if I had stayed at it seriously,
you know, been a pro...
This is just between you and me, Helen.
Well, I believe I could have licked
half of them at that.
- Uh-oh, now I am bragging.
- Why? I bet you could have, too.
Yeah, I could have been really good, Helen.
Yeah, I might...
Let me feel your muscles, Jack.
- Oh, it's just like iron.
- Yeah, look at this.
- Why, Jack!
- It's all right, huh?
It's marvelous.
- I'm warm, aren't you?
- No, I feel all right.
- You know something, Jack?
- What?
- You're interesting.
- What?
But you are, really.
I think you're charming.
You know, I never thought
of you like this before.
You were always just Connie's husband.
I mean, you either fall in love
with another woman's husband
or he's... well, he's just
another woman's husband.
Just nothing.
Oh, I see.
Jack, I'm having a marvelous time.
- Aren't you?
- Why, yes, I like you all right, Helen.
Oh, I don't mean that.
I mean, you suddenly mean
something to me.
- You've become a personality.
- Oh, yeah?
It just doesn't seem possible
that you're the same man.
I'm glad to meet you, Mr. Mills.
Well, I'm glad to meet you.
- Oh, please be glad.
- Well, I am.
What a beautiful hand you have
for a fighter, Jack.
Yeah, uh...
I guess I'd better be going.
Why? Scared?
No, I'm not scared,
I'm just late, that's all.
Oh, he's so cute.
- Jack.
- Yes?
- I know what you've got.
- What?
- You know.
- Oh, don't say that.
But you have,
and I never realized it before.
Why, I've been blind, that's all.
Helen, you'll have to excuse me.
I've got to go.
Oh, never mind about the old fight.
Don't you want to play around
with me this evening, Jack?
- Don't you?
- Well, I appreciate the offer, but...
We'll have a marvelous time.
We can dine where no one will see us.
I know just the place.
The best things to drink
and and to enjoy your music...
outdoors, under the moon.
Just think, Jack, a summer's night
tossed our way.
Don't you want to catch it?
Please say you do.
- Jack!
- I'm sorry, Helen, I've got to go.
- What's the matter? Afraid?
- No, I'm not afraid. I'm going to the fight.
- Oh, all right. Go on.
- Good night.
Good night.
Thanks for the drink.
Oh, Brandt.
- Did you forget something, madam?
- No, I just changed my mind, that's all.
Will you get my bags
out of the car, please?
- Yes, madam.
- Mr. Mills hasn't gone, has he?
He's dressing, madam.
Oh, Mrs. Robinson dropped in
just after you left, madam.
Oh, I see.
- Connie, I just want to say...
- Please, don't say anything at all.
Well, I just want to say one thing.
I wasn't lying to you when I told you
I was going to fights.
She just... well, she just happened in
by chance.
I don't know
what difference it makes, but...
I would like for you to believe that.
Do you?
No, I don't believe that.
I don't believe anything you ever told me.
I know now that I've been living
with a liar.
And a rotten one at that.
Well, that's your privilege.
Oh, I know, I know
you don't care very much.
I don't care.
Connie, I care very much.
As a matter of fact,
I'd have given anything if...
if I could have lied successfully again.
Well, I did try very hard
not to fall for it.
Oh, that's no excuse.
I'm not trying to alibi myself.
Alibi yourself? Is there any alibi
for what you have done?
I'd like to hear it.
Well, it's an old one, Connie...
about blaming it on human nature.
But I'm not trying to excuse myself.
I'm willing to take
what I've got coming to me.
Oh, I... I hate you.
I hate you!
- I can't blame you for that.
- Go away!
- Go away!
- All right, dear.
I want you to go now
and leave me alone!
All right, dear.
All right, I'll go.
But think it over
before you make a decision.
And try not to give me the worst of it.
Oh, hello, Joe.
Hello, Connie.
- Going out?
- Oh, no place in particular.
Looking for Helen as usual.
Seen her?
You don't know
where she might be, do you?
Well, you see, we've had another row
and I...
Oh, and you want to apologize,
is that it?
Well, I...
Connie, I...
I suppose it's no use asking you
for any information about her, is there?
I don't know anything, Joe.
I didn't think you'd tell.
Say, Joe, are you going to spend
the rest of your life worrying about Helen?
I can't seem to help it.
When I'm with her I...
I hate her.
Only, of course, I don't.
And when I'm alone, I...
You love her, don't you?
I wish I didn't.
You don't know how unhappy I am.
You don't know what it's like.
During the day in the city,
wondering all the time what she's doing...
It's awful, I tell you.
It must be.
Well, so long.
- Why don't you do something about it?
- What can I do?
I realize I'm not an attractive man.
But at the same time, I don't think
any man could hold Helen.
No. One isn't enough.
Well, you know,
there is that type of woman.
Lives on attention, can't do without it.
- The more men, the merrier.
- Oh, that's the bunk, Joe.
Why, there isn't any difference
between any man or woman at all.
It's just who loves the most.
And the one who loves the most
buys the wine.
- Well, maybe.
- There's no maybe about it either.
If I were you I'd do anything
to get rid of my love for her.
All right, for instance.
Well, I...
I'd get another woman.
- Oh, but I don't want any other woman.
- I'd get another woman if it killed me.
- All right, and if that didn't do it?
- I'd get a lot of women.
I'd stamp it out of my heart,
I'd dig it out with my heals.
It wouldn't do any good.
No? Well, that's the difference
between you and me.
You're not a very attractive man, Joe.
You're a very week one.
And frankly, I have contempt for you.
Well, I... I don't know why
you be so savage about it.
I shouldn't. I'm sorry.
Well, good-bye.
I had a fine time.
Bayview 333.
Mr. Minot, please... Oh.
Hello, Tony.
This is the tall, blond woman
that's coming into your life.
Can you bear it?
Good heavens, Connie, I almost missed this.
- I was just leaving for Callie's.
- Good.
You'll be by for me then
in just a few minutes, won't you?
Oh, now. Stop asking questions, Tony.
I'm one of those women
that never tell.
That ought to bring you over
in a hurry if nothing else will.
Oh, I suppose we shoud be dressed.
It is getting late, isn't it?
That's right, Tony.
Drive fast.
And after you've picked me up
you can keep on driving fast.
Because I crave speed, Tony.
You don't know how I crave speed.
Is this all it can do?
Why don't you get a good car?
Fresh, aren't you?
How's this?
Well, what's the matter?
I wish I knew. I hope you're not
going to let me die wondering.
Well, there's nothing the matter with me.
You taught me to be loose, didn't you?
Well, I'm on the loose.
Maybe a few of Callie's cocktails
will loosen your tongue. I hope so.
- Don't tell me we're going to Callie's.
- Where did you think we were going?
Someplace for dinner.
Don't you want to?
- Do I? How about the Colony?
- That all depends on what you want to eat.
All I want for my dinner
is a drink and a lot of privacy.
At your house?
Hospitable soul, aren't you?
- What's wrong with your house?
- Well, my man isn't there.
Well, what of it?
I don't want to meet him.
Well, what are we waiting for?
I'm just trying to figure you out.
Let's see now, at 5%
this figures out to $25.000...
No, no, that's not it.
Say, what's the matter
with this anyway?
I don't know. I hate the place.
Seems kind of cheap in here,
doesn't it?
- Oh, waiter.
- Yes, sir?
- Two more of the same, please.
- Not any more for me, thanks.
- Well, make it one then.
- Just one.
Five is about my limit.
Five? We had five?
I'm not positive,
but I feel it in my bones.
The darn stuff must be cut.
I can't get a kick out of it anymore.
You need a vacation, Mills.
Why don't you take a couple of weeks off
and go up in the mountains?
Remember that place I sent
my wife and the kids to last summer?
- Great fishing up there.
- Say, excuse me, will you?
Bayview 2741.
Hello, Brandt?
Is Mrs. Mills there?
Are you sure she's gone
to Mrs. Brook's house party?
Mr. Minot's car?
What are you talking about?
It was Mr. Minot that drove Mrs. Mills
to Sands Point, sir.
Oh, all right, Brandt, all right.
Say, that sounds like...
Well, it doesn't sound like heaven anyway.
Take it off, you little devil.
Hey, Tony, it's one of the expensive kind.
Don't you like it?
- Positively.
- Good. Neither do I.
You know, I don't think I ought
to give you one of these.
You're right, you shouldn't.
You should give me lots of them.
Say, tell me, what's this all about,
Connie? Where's Jack?
- Jack?
- Hm-hmm.
Oh, out making money
to buy me groceries.
You know I'm a growing girl, Tony,
and I need my vitamins.
Oh, and I need them right now, too.
Have you a little vitamin
in your home, Tony?
Is it anything like a baby Austin?
Oh, Tony!
- Look, we'll have it for dinner.
- For dinner?
Yeah, you know. I've seen you have it
between cocktails and cordials.
Wouldn't you rather go out someplace?
No! We'll have a picnic here.
You know, I've always wanted to know
what a picnic would be like without ants.
An ant, Tony, can be either
an unwelcome insect or... or a chaperone.
Which is practically the same thing
as far as we're conscerned, isn't it?
Oh, look. It's nervous.
- Well, how do you feel now?
- How do I feel?
Smooth, like a very superior
grade of velvet.
You know, Connie,
I'd feel a great deal better...
...if I knew where your husband was.
Where's your technique?
Is this the way you usually act
when a young lady calls on you?
The beautiful young lady
has made it perfectly plane
that she doesn't care a hoot about me.
Oh, but a real Don Juan wouldn't let
a little thing like that stand in his way.
Besides, maybe I've changed my mind.
- Have you, Connie?
- Think I'd admit it if I had...
when you're not interested enough
to insult me?
- Oh, no?
- No.
It isn't as if you had to make
any special effort about it either.
There are lots of tried and true methods
you could fall back on.
For instance.
Well, there's that sure fire one...
spilling the soup on the lady's lap.
Why, the thought is automatically
that her gown must be dried...
without delay...
and without the lady in it.
But er...
we didn't have any soup.
Now you see...
if I meant anything at all in your life,
you'd always have soup.
Even canned soup would do.
Of course it would sort of take away from
the elegance of the occasion,
but it would do.
Well. this spills easily.
Oh... well, as long as we're departing
that much from tradition,
how about spilling it
where it won't show?
Now what?
Now you... you start smoothing
your black mustachio...
tell me where I can find something
to slip in to...
while your man servant, who's been
sent away hours ago, of course,
repairs the damage to my gown.
The stain removing department, er...
is in there.
All right.
Come in.
So that's how you look.
Well... isn't this all right?
- Don't you like me?
- Like you.
Why, Connie.
What's the matter, Connie?
I know. It's Jack, isn't it?
- I found out all about that...
- Follies girl?
And a lot more besides.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Oh, I don't care now.
I despise him.
More than anything in the world.
I understand, Connie.
Oh, Tony, now that sounds
as if I hadn't thought of you at all.
Well, I do like you.
And I'm sorry I'm such a poor sport.
- Oh, you poor kid.
- Please, don't be nice to me...
- I couldn't stand that.
- Oh, my dear, I...
I'm not a very good bad woman, am I?
Nor a very bad good woman either.
Well, I guess the next thing to do
is to take you home.
Oh, I couldn't go back
to that house tonight, Tony...
I can't go to Callie's either,
it's too late.
Well, you'd be perfectly safe here.
- Where will you go?
- Oh, don't worry about me.
Oh, that's grand of you, Tony.
Anyway, I want you
to try out my house.
I'm hoping that someday you'll like it
well enough to live in it.
Good night, Connie.
Good night, Tony.
I'm Mr. Mills.
Will you show me to Mrs. Mills' room?
But Mrs. Mills isn't here, sir.
- What?
- She isn't here, sir.
- She must be.
- No, sir.
She telephoned Mrs. Brooks
that she wasn't able to come, sir.
Oh yeah, that's right. I forgot.
How stupid of me.
Oh, say, don't tell Mrs. Brooks
I was here, will you?
She'd think I was crazy.
Thank you, sir. Thank you.
Put them anyplace, Brandt.
That's all, thanks.
Come in.
Well, I'm gald you're here.
I was getting a little worried about you.
Worried, why?
Well, I went to Callie's.
I didn't find you there.
I thought something
might have happened to you.
Do you mind telling me where you were?
Of course, I know
it's none of my business.
No. Why should I mind telling you?
I was at Tony's apartment.
All night?
Hm-hmm, all night.
I'm awfully sorry for you.
Sorry for me? Why?
This is a man's game
and you can't play it.
I don't see why I can't do anything
you can do.
You can't do it, Connie.
You'll break my heart.
Oh... because you love me so much.
No. Because I think you love me.
Not anymore, Jack.
I've killed my love for you
very successfully.
All that beauty that you didn't want...
try and find it.
Well, if that's the way
you feel about it, I...
I guess we're through.
We weren't through, were we,
when you didn't come home some night.
Well, I naturally supposed
you'd want your freedom.
To marry some other man so that he could do
the same thing to me you've done?
No, Jack.
Oh, I do want my freedom.
But as long as we can still have that
in spite of our marriage
why do anything about it?
- You mean you want to go on like this?
- Oh, I don't know what I want to do, Jack.
But until I can make up my mind,
why not?
You'll play around as much as you like...
and so will I.
All right, Connie.
It's all right with me.
We'll try it your way and we'll see.
Fine. We'll see.
Oh, by the way.
Who won the fight?
- The champion was defeated.
- Oh.
Maybe he was over-confident.
Say, how many more minutes
before I'm cooked?
You're done now.
Come on.
Only on one side.
It would be too terrible
if I didn't match.
Very useful, though.
People who say nice things to your face...
won't speak ill of you behind your back.
They won't know it's your back.
Did I ever tell you that a case of sunburn
almost caused my death once?
Why, no, Tony. That's dreadful.
I don't see how it's possible.
Her husband was a crack shot.
Oh, how can I believe
anything you say?
Marry me
and make an honest man of me.
Must we go into that
so soon again?
I can't go on like this.
You're ruining me.
- But I like that.
- Well, I don't.
I might just as well be a boy scout.
The whist of it is I find myself liking it.
That's bad, Connie
It's out of character.
You mean I've spolied you
for other women?
Vice-versa you've spoiled
all other women for me.
Seriously, Connie.
You're leading a rotten life with Jack.
There's no sense to it.
Why not cut loose?
I'm just giving me
a little more time, Tony.
Oh, I don't know what's the matter with me.
Of course I'll marry you.
I'll tell Jack tomorrow
that I want a divorce.
Why not tell him tonight?
Why wait until tomorrow?
He's never home these nights,
that's all.
Seems to be making up for lost time
in a big way.
- But you will tell him.
- Fisrt chance I get.
Oh, I...
I didn't hear you come in, sir.
You couldn't have.
I haven't been out.
I beg your pardon, sir, but I thought
it was someone breaking into the house.
Say, look here, Brandt,
Haven't you been with us long enough
to know to always keep
a supply of White Rock handy?
Why, it's almost full, sir.
I'm sorry, Brandt.
We all make mistakes, sir.
- Good night, sir.
- Good night.
Remember you said
you'd attend to it right away.
I promised, didn't I?
Good night, Tony.
Good night, Connie.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Aren't you home rather early?
Hm-hmm. Nothing like a day
on the neach to make one sleepy.
- Wait a minute, I'll fix you something.
- Oh, no, thanks.
Well, sit down anyway.
- Been home long?
- Me?
Oh, I just got in ahead of you.
Having a pretty gay time these nights,
aren't you?
Our little arrangement has worked out
pretty well, hasn't it?
While it lasted.
While it lasted?
You see, Jack, I've...
Well, I've decided that I do
want a divorce after all.
Well, isn't this rather sudden?
It was you that suggested
this arrangement, you know.
I know, but something has come up
that I couldn't very well foresee.
Changed your mind
about marrying again, huh?
- Minot?
- Yes.
I see.
I don't suppose it'll make
much difference to you.
No, it won't make much difference.
Well... good night.
Good night.
Why, Tony.
I'm sorry, Connie,
but I've got a flat tyre.
- I don't want to mess...
- Hello, Minot.
Oh, hello, Mills.
May I come in?
I guess you are in, aren't you?
You know, Connie, there's really
nothing wrong with my car.
But it just occurred to me...
that in the event
that you were going to tell him tonight,
that perhaps I ought to be here.
I have told him, Tony.
Well, should I be here or should I?
I wasn't exactly paging you.
Everything's all right, Tony, thanks.
I'll see you in the morning.
Good night.
No, wait a minute.
Everything isn't all right.
Not with me.
Well, what seems to be the trouble?
Connie spent a night at your place.
Well, what of it?
I spent that night at my club...
and should there be
any doubts in your mind
you can call up and verify it.
You should have known it.
Yeah, I should.
I'm sorry, Connie.
I didn't intend to have him
go to his club.
I just lacked courage, that's all.
Well, Minot, you're a better man
than I thought you were.
That wouldn't be very hard.
I got no right to talk.
It's like a lot of chances
you get just once.
That's the only agreement
I ever made that I broke.
Somebody asks you to do something
dishonest it's easy enough to say no.
But with marriage,
the most sacred agreement of all,
a few drinks, anything...
and you forget every promise
you ever made.
Well, I would like to see her happy.
Well, Mills, you'll see a big effort.
All right, Minot.
Good luck, Connie.
I'll walk out with you, Tony.
Well, Connie?
Well, I...
Will you call me in the morning?
No. You ring me
when you want to see me again.
But Tony...
There are two rascals who want
to see you happy and I'm the other one.
Tony, while...
while he was talking...
I knew all of a sudden...
that it wasn't because I hated him
that I went to you that night.
It was to make myself stop loving him.
And you can't.
I understand perfectly.
Everything is just as it should be.
Tony, you...
you're swell.
Bye-bye, Connie.
Oh, darling, how can I love a man
who won't keep his hair tidy?
Oh, Connie!