Men in Black: International (2019) Movie Script
1
God, do I
hate Paris.
Not to worry.
Probably won't be
around
much longer.
I've been waiting
a long time for this.
I guess what...
What I'm trying to say is,
- Lisa, will you mar...?
- Bonjour.
We're with
Tower security.
Uh, we're
terribly sorry,
but you're not
supposed to be here.
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
So? She say yes?
- I haven't asked yet.
- He hasn't asked yet.
Oh, well, that's
a terrible shame, isn't it?
Because, you see, that
blinking light back there
means there's been
a breach in Portal 2.
Which means,
in just a few minutes,
the most vile creatures
in the entire universe,
the Hive,
are gonna consume
every last one
of us from the inside out.
I don't understand.
All will be explained
if you look right...
here.
The Tower was closed
for repairs.
Ask her
on the way down.
This way,
please.
Thank you.
Mind
the gap.
Right. Shall we?
Let's do this.
Hey, guys.
Who the hell
are you?
Ask her again
down on the ground.
- Whew.
- Ah, there you are.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's try this again,
shall we?
So, what's
the play here?
We've been
in this situation before.
We've never faced
the Hive before.
They've never
faced us.
Always remember,
The universe has
a way of leading you
to where
you're supposed to be
at the moment
you're supposed to be there.
Yeah, well, sometimes,
the universe gets it wrong.
"Let's have some action.
I want some
asses wiggling.
I want some perfection."
Get my
three-wood.
- Come on, let's go.
- Okay, okay.
Careful.
Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God. Baby.
- What?
Uh...
That wasn't
no animal, okay?
It was a...
It was a...
I ain't never seen
nothing like that before.
It was, like,
a creature.
What? Harold,
call the police.
- The who?
- The police. Call the police!
That was fast.
Evening.
We're from Animal Control.
- You saw something?
- We haven't called yet.
Are we in danger?
Does it have rabies?
That wasn't a regular animal.
- It was like...
- The creature you saw was
an unlicensed Tarantian
from Andromeda II.
Very rare, very dangerous.
- Sorry, what?
- A Tarantian.
I know.
He looks cute now.
- Tarantian?
- But when they hit puberty,
they turn into real monsters.
Shh.
Don't be scared.
It's okay.
Tell me,
is there anyone else in the house?
Just our daughter.
She's sleeping.
A raccoon.
Yeah, that's your problem, folks.
Go ahead and make sure
those trash can lids
are on nice and tight,
and we were never here.
We should
go check on Molly.
We've gotta
get you out of here.
Come on.
It's okay.
I'm your friend. I'm Molly. Go on.
Molly.
Kabla nakshulin.
Kabla nakshulin.
Well, Molly,
you've scored excellent
or above
in every area.
Fitness,
deductive reasoning, logic,
weapons training.
Just one problem.
You didn't check a box.
For your preferred division.
Everyone has to check a box.
Hm.
Yeah, I made my own box
for the division
that has no box.
You know, the division
where they wear black suits
and deal with the guys from...
...up there.
You mean, Accounting?
No, like...
Yeah, still...
Accounting.
That should fix the glitch.
- Remember, we care.
- You're good to go.
And remember, we care.
Look for the icon marked
advanced extensions.
- Okay.
- Click on it.
Which icon?
There's a bunch...
- Thirteenth icon from the left.
- Whose left?
- Your left.
- Oh, sorry.
- I got it now.
- Okay, got it?
Yeah, got it.
Are you still there?
- Hello? Help. What's going on?
- Oh, no.
Nothing. Let me just run
a little diagnostic on my end,
and I will be back.
No, it won't take long.
Not long at all. Okay.
What the f...?
- This is perplexing.
- Is it?
Is it?
A-L-I-E-N-S?
I don't know why
you always insist
on whispering
and spelling that.
Finally decided
to show up, huh?
Oh, my God.
All I have to do
is figure out
trajectory, and I am in.
- I'm back. Okay, try this.
- Hi.
- Unplug it, plug it back in.
- Okay.
- And remember, we care.
- Hello?
I have to go.
Jimmy's coming back
to get the kids.
Yes.
Okay. Let's see
where you are now.
Welcome back,
Professor Armitage.
Oh, you tricky one.
I don't think you're
a meteor after all, are you?
Nope, I think you are
an unauthorized landing.
This is it.
It's all happening.
See you soon, Jimmy.
Right here, right here.
Right here.
- Hey, hey.
- Hey.
Please keep
the meter running.
I'll pay you
extra.
What?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come on, Jimmy.
What are you doing
back on Earth?
Hey, this is...?
This is Earth?
My bad, guys.
Come on.
Tell it to O back at HQ.
I want to see my kids.
Get this ship out of here.
I'll escort our
Zamporian friend back.
- Don't lose them.
- What?
- I'm on it. On it.
- Go, go, go. Go.
Hey,
did they bring in that Zamporian yet?
Came in a couple of
minutes ahead of you.
The guy tried to sneak in
behind a Perseid meteor shower.
Amateur hour. Am I right?
Right as rain.
Rain don't lie.
Sheesh, talk about
amateur hour.
Hey, you gonna
call this in, or what?
Code Black.
Unauthorized visitor.
Lockdown protocol engaged
in three, two, one.
All right,
who's she working for?
She claims to be
working alone.
A random civilian
simply waltzes in
off the high street.
I don't think so.
Neuralyze her.
No, no, no. Don't.
I know what that thing is.
Please.
Hang on. Hang on.
She had
an experience.
It erased my parents' memories,
but it didn't take mine.
So my whole life,
everyone's called me crazy.
They said that
I needed therapy,
which, okay,
admittedly, I did,
but not for this.
Did she really hack
into the Hubble Telescope
to look at Andromeda II,
and we didn't catch her?
In the old days,
we'd have hired her.
It took me 20 years to find you,
plus or minus.
How many people
can say that?
I found you.
So you found us.
You proved you're not crazy.
You win the I'm Not Crazy
badge. Now what?
- I want in.
- We don't hire. We recruit.
Then I'd like
to be recruited.
I'm going to need more.
But would you mind giving me
one good reason?
Because I'm smart.
I'm motivated.
I look good in black.
I'm...
Boring me.
Because I have absolutely
no life whatsoever.
I have nothing.
I have no dog, no cat,
definitely no chill.
I have nothing
that I couldn't
happily walk away from,
which makes me
perfect for this job.
Well, you're certainly
suitably tragic.
No love?
No relationships?
They just distract you from
what's important.
Hm, really?
And what's important?
The truth
of the universe.
I wanna know everything.
I wanna know
how it all works.
You really think
a black suit
is going to solve
all your problems?
Mmm... No,
but it looks damn good on you.
That's true.
From this
moment, you will conform
to the identity we give you.
You will dress only
in MIB Special Services attire.
You have been trained
in the use
of MIB-sanctioned technology,
vehicles and weaponry.
Mm-mm.
You will not
stand out in any way.
You are no longer
part of the system.
You do not exist.
Check, please.
We are above the system.
Over it, beyond it.
We are them. We are they.
We are
the Men in Black.
The "Men"
in Black?
Don't.
Don't start.
I've had
the conversation.
They didn't seem
to be able to let it go.
It's a process.
Attachment issue, I think.
There's
your first assignment.
Okay.
When do I get my...?
It's called a neuralyzer.
And you don't just get it,
you earn it.
You've been accepted
for a probationary period.
Impress me, and
we'll see about the bzzz.
- Okay.
- Hm.
You're a fan of the truth,
aren't you, Agent M?
- I like it.
- Mm.
I think we may have
a problem in London.
Wow, that is smooth.
Let's keep them coming,
shall we?
Another
round.
Ah!
So can I just say how much
I'm liking this place?
It's formal,
but not too stuffy.
Classic, but still
kind of stylish.
Makes it a very Eyes Wide Shut
kind of vibe.
I'm kidding.
Sort of.
Hoo, hoo!
Or is it
mostly just
the lethal high-stakes
gambling?
Thank you very much.
Would you look at that?
Straight to the ace, gentlemen.
That's me again.
Let's talk business,
shall we?
I can move this stuff.
Who do I speak with
about getting
a lot more of it?
Because I'm in.
You're not.
You see, I have
a very strict
"no Men in Black"
policy.
Oh, God.
I don't blame you.
Who'd want those assholes
coming in here?
Men in Black. The Morons
in Black, if you ask me.
What a bunch of dicks.
Am I right?
All it takes is one bad apple
to spoil any environment...
Stop it, guys.
I am MIB,
you Cerulian scum.
And FYI, your little
club here sucks.
You're gonna give me
everything.
Suppliers, sellers,
your whole network.
Your luck run out.
You're already dead.
Only one person here
has the antidote.
Emily, sweetheart.
Please, I'll... I'll give you
whatever you want.
Please.
Anything you want.
Anything I want?
The express
train to London has arrived.
With continuing service
to Paris, Stockholm,
Milan, Rome, Madrid.
Caught him
in the locker room.
I knew that kid
was neuralyzing himself.
I told him, "Do that too much,
and you'll go blind."
Right?
Who could go for a nosh?
I'd like a
nice pastrami sandwich.
With lots of melted cheese.
Now arriving,
express train from New York.
Last call for Flight 2112
to the Cat's Eye Nebula.
Welcome, Agent M.
Please report
to New Agent Orientation.
Access granted, Agent M.
...every hour from Gate 12.
Excuse me, ma'am.
It's never
who you think it is.
Oh, no.
That one makes sense.
So you're the one
who found us.
Yes, I am.
I'm T. High T.
Oh, yeah.
You're...
- I run this little circus.
- Yeah.
Welcome, M.
It's nice
to meet you, sir.
O told me to expect
some great things.
- And great things shall you get.
- Good.
Right through there.
Hi, you.
Wait, wait, wait!
Don't touch him!
Oh, God.
- I got him, I got him.
- You guys...
I got him. I got him.
Change it, change it.
All right, buddy.
All right. Drink this.
Oh, careful.
You break it, you buy it.
Keep it. Keep it.
On me.
We need to see
the queen.
Yes.
Uh-oh.
You have
visitors.
State your business
with the queen.
We need someone
to die.
As clearly stated in Section 6C
of the Treaty of Andromeda II,
we do not kill Jababians
nor participate
in the murder thereof.
This is nonnegotiable.
Well, it's slightly
negotiable.
Oy!
Morning.
I'm in the market
for a useless, old,
broken-down machine.
What do you got?
You're not gonna
get a rise out of me, H.
It's the Imperial
with the red tab.
Do try to keep up.
Thank you, Charlie.
That's the old
portal depot.
Site of the First
Great Alien Migration.
Wait,
so Eiffel was an MIB agent?
One of
the first.
He helped so many
intergalactic refugees
seeking protection
here on Earth.
If you look closely,
you can see my grandma
and my grandpa
in that picture.
So beautiful.
- Here you are, dear.
- Thank you.
What's
up with that guy?
Nerlene!
Sorry.
He's just
so yummy.
- Who is he?
- H.
Only the best agent
in the building.
He saved the world once
with nothing but his wits
and a Series-7
De-Atomizer.
He saved
the world?
From what?
The Hive.
The Hive.
Hey, Guy,
do me a favor.
- Handle my calls.
- Oh, love to.
Where are you
going?
To do some homework.
An awful,
terrible incident in Marrakesh.
The North Africa office
is investigating.
And in
other business,
H has decided to grace us
with his presence after all.
Apologies, sir. I was working
late. Morning, everyone.
So was I. Cleaning
your mess. Thank you.
You should've seen the mess
I was cleaning up this morning.
It was a totally
unsanctioned op, sir,
requiring two containment units
and a full neuralyzer squad.
I prefer to look at this
from a macro point of view,
not get bogged
in the details.
The bad guy's dead,
so, you know.
Take a seat, please.
One last item.
A member of the
Jababian royal family
has a layover on his way
to Centaurus A.
Vungus the Ugly.
Inherited the title.
Believe it or not,
Vungus here
is the looker
in the crowd.
Holograms always add
10 pounds.
Jababian society doesn't allow
for certain
indiscretions.
In short, he wants
to be shown a good time.
We could say no,
but Jababian mining vessels
would grind us
into galactic dust.
Some irony there, sir, if you
think that we used to, uh,
protect Earth
from the scum of the universe.
Now it seems
we're protecting scum.
Actually, that's why it would
be right up your street.
Your cup of tea, H.
I know Vungus.
He doesn't really drink tea.
He prefers vodka,
tequila,
hand sanitizer,
sometimes all at once.
Once, we woke up
handcuffed to a horse...
- What, H?
- Pipe down.
Sorry.
Sincere apologies.
You will be
his chaperone.
In fact, he specifically
asked for you.
Okay. Absolutely,
hopefully we don't end up
handcuffed to
a horse again, heh.
Please.
I'll have him home
by midnight.
Good boy.
If you will.
"Good boy.
If you will."
"Good man,"
I think he said.
Keep Daddy
happy, yeah?
We're like this.
You look
after Papi so well.
You're so jealous,
aren't you?
Papi's
little fancy boy.
You wish
you had a papi.
...They came in
on transportation...
Uh, ahem.
Hello.
Whoo! Oops.
- Sorry.
- Ahem. Hi.
Hey. Nope, I'm awake.
It's all right.
Just catching up
on my daily meditation.
I have been meaning
to try that.
I read that it
dramatically improves
mitochondrial energy
production.
Yep, yep.
No, it absolutely does.
My mitochondrial energy's
through the roof.
- Um... Have we met before?
- No. Agent M.
I heard you were
on the Vungus meet,
and I wanted
to offer assistance.
I'm a bit of
a Jababian wonk.
Language, culture,
politics, fashion.
Anyways, I compiled
a dossier for you to read.
Oh, a dossier. I love
a good dossier.
The thing is...
Ask around.
I work alone.
Ask anyone around here.
Did you know that Jababians
are claircognizant empaths,
which means
they can read your mind?
And your cards.
- Well, they do have a tell.
- What's that?
Subdermal spots on
the underside of their arms
- change color.
- Mm, good to know.
Thank you for your offer.
I'm good.
Okay. Message
understood.
I will leave you
to your...
meditation.
Thank you.
Oh.
Do you know
what your tell is?
You snore
when you meditate.
Actually, on second thought,
maybe I could use some backup.
I was thinking, for the op,
I can take the perimeter,
- and you make the approach to Vungus.
- Yes, good.
- Okay.
- The thing is, with this particular club.
everybody just wants
to do their own thing.
Aliens wanna look like humans,
humans wanna look like aliens,
so we may need
to loosen up a bit.
Maybe we lose
the tie first, yeah?
Pop a couple of buttons
and not look so stiff.
We don't want to advertise
our profession,
if you know
what I mean.
"Men in Black.
Aliens, get down!"
- I get it.
- Don't do that.
Yeah? Good. Great. Perfect.
How about me? How do I look?
I would just, uh.
- Do you mind if I...?
- What?
Coming in.
It's a fine line
between club casual
and the saddest man
on Earth.
Thank you.
- Mm-hm.
- Yeah. Shall we?
I thought
that we were here.
We are.
Entrance
for special guests.
Step on it,
would you, Freddie?
You got it, H.
Hm.
Yeah, okay.
Wasn't expecting that.
The Vungus among us!
H-Bomb!
- V-Go! V-Go!
- Yeah, yeah!
- Yeah!
- Woo!
Look at you.
You've lost weight.
What have you done
to your hair?
You changed it.
Looks fantastic.
- Oh, I...
- I barely recognize you.
Sorry. M, this
is Vungus. Vungus, M.
Hello, M.
Muah.
So nice
to meet you.
I've heard
a lot about you.
Highly redacted,
of course.
Such a charmer. He says...
he thinks
you're hot.
He thinks I'm what?
Sorry?
It's a rough translation.
Probably works better
on Ja... Jababia,
but you know that,
since you speak fluent Jababian.
Oh.
Of course. I was just trying
to find the words to articulate
how incredibly eye-catching
you yourself are.
Well, that he is.
M knows everything
about Jababia.
I wouldn't say "everything."
Always more to learn.
It's like
a fetish.
Hah, okay, that implies
something sexual.
- It's definitely not.
- It is.
It's always,
"Oh, Jababia this,
Jababia that, Jababia,
Jababia, Jababia!"
Yeah, baby!
I knew you would hit it off.
Have a dance, okay?
M loves to dance.
She's a wonderful dancer.
I'll get drinks.
You're still
a vodka cranberry guy?
You know it.
Okay. Okay.
M, please.
Come, sit next
to Vungus.
I promise, I don't bite.
Okay, just give me
one sec.
Four
vodka cranberries.
It's all right.
I'll get this one.
Put it on
the company card.
Little tip,
expense everything.
Hey, quick question,
no big deal.
Are you pimping me out
to Vungus?
What? No.
What the hell would give you
that... impression?
Hello. Ha-ha-ha!
- Oh, I don't know. That?
- Oh, ahem.
Better not look at that.
Hey, if you wanna use me
as alien bait,
just let me know next time.
I don't like to be lied to.
What, like pretending
to be an expert
in something you're not?
We're in
the lying business.
- Are we?
- Jababians are prickly.
We want them to be happy.
So they don't destroy our planet
and everything.
That is the mission.
If you're not
down with...
I'm down
with the mission,
but I'm not fornicating
with the Jababian.
That's not what
I asked you to do.
So how long
you here for, buddy?
Vungus go home tomorrow.
Tomorrow?
We better make it
a good one, huh?
I came to talk, H.
We need to speak.
Talky, shmalky.
I want to see you dance.
Come on. Come on, I know,
I know this is your jam.
Get out here. M, come on.
Oh, no, I'm just gonna...
I like to butt-dance.
Hey, I need to talk
to you about something.
If it's about
that night in Beirut,
I deleted the photos.
Promise.
No, not Beirut.
Just...
- H?
- Yeah?
- Twelve o'clock.
- You're damn right
it is. Night is young.
Whoo-hoo!
Listen to me, H.
This is serious.
You're the only one
that Vungus can trust.
Well, feeling's mutual.
What happened to you?
Nothing.
What happened to you?
Why are you so
serious?
- Relax. Ow! Yeah.
- H.
You all right, buddy?
What's wrong?
You don't look so good.
- You okay?
- Vungus not feel so good.
Vodka cranberry
sure pack a punch.
Let's get his car
and get him out of here.
- Yeah. Yup.
- All right.
Okay.
Get you off to bed.
Let's get you in here.
All right.
There you are, buddy.
In you go.
Watch your head. Okay.
All right.
Now, sleep it off,
okay?
I'll speak to you in
the morning. Hydrate.
Whoo!
- Shouldn't we call it in?
- Oh, God, no.
The paperwork
is a nightmare.
But Vungus
didn't look too good.
He didn't look
too good before, but.
Trust me,
I've seen him way worse.
This one time
in Istanbul...
Help me.
- MIB. Freeze!
- On the ground.
- Hands up.
- Palms down.
- Palms down.
- Hands up.
Which do you want to go with?
I'm fine with either.
We've to come up with something
consistent. You want palms down?
If you don't mind.
- Palms down.
- Palms down.
Good.
What the...?
That is not good.
Run!
M!
They are coming!
Petrol cap. Go.
We need more firepower.
Side-view mirror.
What do you want me to do,
throw it at them?
Oh, wow.
I haven't seen that before.
I don't think
this is doing anything.
Come on.
Exhaust pipe. Go!
Come on!
Now this is
more like it.
Right.
Hurry!
Go to Vungus.
I'll cover you.
H! A little help here!
No. Not H.
He has changed.
I could feel it.
I have to know...
...if I can trust you.
Now I'm pissed off.
Hide this.
Something is wrong
in Men in Black.
What? Vungus, what is this?
It's the only thing
that can protect you.
Come on!
Where's your fancy
dance moves now?
What the...?
Keep your eyes on.
It's not safe.
Eyes on! Eyes on!
Two targets!
How is he?
He's gone.
Guys,
back up a little bit, all right?
Oy!
Outdone yourself here, mate.
- Well done. Well done.
- Thank you.
Fill me in.
What happened, huh?
We were attacked,
clearly, C.
- Right.
- By I don't know what.
The suspects, they did this
with their bare hands.
They turned solid
into liquid,
- then back again.
- What?
- Why's she here?
- She...
- She is
- She is
walking you
through the crime scene.
No, no. She is
a probationary agent,
so she is not here
at all, okay?
I think you'll find
that she clearly is here
because I can see her.
- Backing you up.
- Thank you.
A figure of speech,
but fine.
You are in
so much trouble,
oh, my God. You had one job.
You had one very simple job:
to take some lizard slimeball
out for a few drinks.
- That was it.
- Not a "lizard slimeball."
- A friend of mine.
- Oh, no.
- Yeah. Sorry about that.
- Mm.
He was
a reptilian slimeball,
now dead because of you.
Who was with him when he died?
- I was.
- Who...?
Okay, good.
And did he say anything
that might explain why
he was killed?
Anything at all?
Come on.
No. Not a thing.
- So just to recap...
- No point.
A high-ranking member
of the Jababian royal family
dies on your watch,
murdered by assailants
that you can't identify,
for reasons that you
cannot begin to fathom.
- Is that about right?
- I switched off
the moment you started
talking. I don't know.
Why don't you bugger off.
Okay, mate. Thank you.
- Yeah.
- I'll piss off,
- to the office.
- Where you belong.
To have a word
with High T,
who will not save you
this time.
We'll be fine. Okay?
Don't worry.
This is... We'll be fine.
Yeah?
Yes. Yes. Understood.
Yeah... Indeed.
Yes.
Yes. Yes.
Thank you.
Let me assure you,
we will deal with this
in the strongest
possible terms.
The Jababians
want your heads.
Quite literally. Both heads,
sent by diplomatic pouch.
Okay, um, ahem...
Morning, sir.
I have the forensics report
that you asked for.
Thank you.
Well, this is troubling.
- Very troubling.
- Mm-hm.
These are our suspects.
A species called Dyadnum.
From a binary star system
in the constellation Draco.
Draco, that's
Hive territory.
The entire sector
fell years ago.
The Dyads' DNA...
- are riddled with Hive mutations.
- Mm-hm.
As we all know, the Hive
doesn't just destroy their enemies,
they subsume them.
Take them over from within.
Whoever these two were,
they're part of the Hive now.
Yes, but why would the Hive
send them all this way
to kill a Jababian royal?
You knew Vungus
better than anyone.
Did he indicate
why he was here?
Did he want something
from us?
No, he seemed
pretty normal, happy.
Sir. This whole thing
is a fiasco. It's a farrago.
And a failure
of this magnitude
requires
immediate invokement of...
Article 13.
Don't be a dick.
Who says "farrago"?
Uh, what is Article 13?
Immediate termination,
followed by neuralyzation.
- Wait a second.
- Wait.
- No.
- Is that your answer
- to everything?
- Put that away!
- Glasses off.
- Sir, you can't.
Give me one good reason
why not.
Um, because it's...
what we were talking about.
Um...
- Because...
- Because...
if you erase us,
you will never know the truth.
- The truth.
- They're stalling.
- Say the word. I'll do it.
- Put it away.
M, go ahead.
Explain yourself.
Well, sir...
if you think about it,
really think about it...
Vungus...
how many people really knew
that he was here?
The people in this room.
And perhaps a dozen
high-level agents.
If those were the only people
that knew where Vungus would be,
and we assume
that Vungus didn't leak
his own location
to the killers,
doesn't that mean
that it was someone...
inside MIB?
A mole, sir,
inside these very walls.
Sir, they're making this up
as they go along.
"A mole"? In the history
of the company,
- there's never been a leak.
- Something a mole would say.
- Don't be absurd.
- Classic mole talk.
Sounds like Mole 101.
Enough.
If we've been compromised,
it puts every citizen
on this planet,
both human and alien,
at risk.
- C. Track down these killers.
- Sir.
Find the killers,
we find the mole.
- Will do, sir.
- Dismissed.
M, it appears
you're as sharp as advertised.
Work the case with C.
Get Weapons Department
started on something
that can neutralize
these Dyads.
Yes, sir.
Sharp indeed she is, sir.
I assume you'll want me
overseeing the case? Sort of...
I'm finished covering
for you, H.
You need me on this case, sir.
I've dealt with the Hive before.
With nothing but my wits
and my Series 7...
No. He dealt
with the Hive before.
And I don't know
where the hell he has gone!
I actually used to think
you could lead this place.
I was wrong about you.
We're done here.
That's an order.
Look, you weren't wrong
about me, sir.
You saw something in me once.
It's still there.
And I apologize
for letting you down.
Give me another chance and
I'll fix this. I promise you.
I don't think
it's just a blade.
Looks like it carries
some poison.
I know what
you're talking about. Wait.
Sorry, mate.
High T wants me
- to run point on this one.
- What? I don't believe you.
I don't like
it any better than you,
but he kept going on
about relying on me,
needing our top agent,
that sort of thing.
I don't make the rules.
Take it up with him.
M, he's keen for you
to shadow me.
"Learn from the best,"
he said.
Little on-the-job training,
if you will.
Hmm? Yeah?
Come on.
- Are you going or you staying?
- Yeah, I'll go.
- Well...
- Okay.
- Come on.
- H?
Thanks
for that.
I'm sick of you.
Okay.
- What's the actual truth?
- You tell me.
For someone who hates lying,
that was incredible.
- I wasn't...
- It was electric up there.
The way we played off
each other, back and forth.
- I was riffing.
- A mole inside the MIB.
It's genius.
I wish I thought of it.
I discovered
a possible truth.
I mean, think about it.
It would explain a lot.
What have you got
so far?
I was about to run
a molecular deconstruction
on the substance and
cross-reference with all toxins.
- Good idea.
- Just a little science.
I wouldn't do that.
Whoo!
I know what that is.
That killed
a 300-pound Jababian,
so I wouldn't get
recreational with it.
Zephos, pure grade. The wrong
amount will kill you instantly.
Right amount will
keep you dancing shirtless
on a nightclub in Monaco
for 17 hours.
So much information.
Always so much information.
It's what I've heard. There's
only one place in the world
where they know how to mix it.
Let's go.
You coming?
World's not gonna save itself.
Are you saying that you need me
to save the world?
Uh-huh.
Thought so.
Oh, wow.
You'll see that a lot
around here.
It's a
Cromulian tag.
In their galaxy, a symbol
for hope or annihilation.
There's still some debate
around what exactly.
Actually,
it's harmony.
But on Earth, it means we're
entering an MIB safe haven.
- How do you know?
- It's in the handbook.
Don't believe
everything you read.
- That is my job.
- And my job is what?
Hang out here and shut up?
Shut up. That's your job.
Well, look who it is. Nasr.
You know the rules:
no visible alien tech
anywhere on the street.
Cover the bike up
before I have to give you
a ticket.
H? It is really you?
Of course it's me.
Who else could it be?
- Hey, Bassam.
- Hi, H.
Nasr said you were dead.
What? I... I never said that.
You did. He's lying.
Aah! Hey! Get...
- That's...
- And why would I be dead?
Bassam misunderstood.
We heard that you and Riza
had split up.
Oh, Riza. Who's that?
It's not important.
Mm. Human or...?
- Doesn't matter.
- I'm just curious
how it works
between species, so...
Very unimportant.
Old friend of mine, so...
Who runs the biggest criminal
syndicate in the galaxy.
Who is a very successful
businesswoman.
I love a businesswoman.
- Why are we talking about this?
- Sad. You made a lovely couple.
Thank you.
These things happen.
You said, "That psycho's
gonna slit his throat."
Oh, hmm.
Excuse us for one moment.
Your words, not mine.
Don't you...
You dated this person? Seems
like a conflict of interest.
Conflict of interest for you
to know my private life.
Yeah, sure.
I'd prefer not to.
Hey, hey,
that's enough. Listen.
Stop beating
the hell out of him.
- Yeah.
- Keep this thing covered up.
- Absolutely. Will do.
- Thank you.
Won't happen again.
Nice to meet you both.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- What?
- Pulled this
from the surveillance
camera outside the club.
Standing there,
making me feel uncomfortable.
Sorry
about that.
Have you shown this to T?
You said everything goes
through you.
Yes, everything does go
through me. Good.
I'll show him. Go on.
Goodness me.
Oh, boy.
Here comes trouble.
I like trouble.
You thinking
what I'm thinking?
Call Riza.
Ah, here. This is it.
Looks like
a couple days' worth.
No one's been out
to collect.
Hello?
One more step and I'll liquefy
your bangs, pretty boy.
- Easy, easy.
- Okay.
- We don't want any trouble.
- Do not move.
Hey, look at you.
What do we call you, sport?
"Sport" is not
what you call me.
What is it?
- "It"? He.
- Sorry.
Why would you call me
anything?
Pawns don't have names.
We're pawns.
Uh, okay.
"Pawny," then.
What happened here?
Oh, we had the best party.
Kanye showed up
and dropped a whole new album.
It was some of his best work.
Look around!
We got our asses kicked!
Aah! My queen!
Oh, she's gone.
I'll never serve another.
I swear it.
I'll plunge my dagger
into my own body, like this,
through my vital organs,
and then leave it
until the dark takes me.
Hey, you're not gonna actually
go through with this, are you?
Listen. A queen's pawn
without a queen is just a pawn.
A nothing.
I must end my own life
in the most painful way
possible.
Don't stop me.
Chance of survival: zero.
- Think we should stop him?
- Gonna do it.
Wanna see
if he goes through with it.
- Sorry, what did you say?
- Hmm? Nothing at all.
Know what?
I did say something.
- You did?
- Yeah. He's a witness.
Excuse me.
You know, I don't think
that she would want you to,
you know, go through with it,
honestly.
Who are you to know what
a queen would or wouldn't want?
Are you a queen?
Well, to the extent
that all women are, yes,
but, no, no,
I'm not a queen.
You know what she is,
though, is an agent.
- "Agent"?
- Mm-hm.
- Is that a title?
- It is a title.
A title of great eminence
and stature.
M here is an agent.
An agent without a pawn,
if you see my meaning.
I never thought of this,
but maybe the best way
to honor the dead
- is to go on living.
- Yes.
I pledge loyalty eternal to you,
Agent M.
No, no, no. I'm not
interested in a subject.
Too late. It's done.
I already pledged the loyalty.
Wish you'd said
"no, no, no" before.
Congratulations.
And if you should die
before I,
I promise
to end my own life...
"In the most painful way
possible."
Yeah. Ha. I don't like you.
Let's go.
My lady?
Come on.
We'll have a fun time.
- Fine.
- Yes!
H, there's something
I've been meaning to tell you.
- I've been wanting to tell you...
- Yeah?
- ...about it. Where is it?
- You mean this?
- You stole it from me?
- Stole it from you?
I recovered evidence
you stole from a crime scene.
Vungus told me to hide it and
I couldn't trust anyone.
You're telling me
you listened to Vungus,
you trusted Vungus instead of
your partner, a senior agent?
- Huh?
- In a word, yes.
H, speaking of agents...
Come on.
Why would they be here?
There's either an award show
we're not aware of
or we're in deep shit.
Thank you.
I need you to close every street,
archway and sewer now.
Come in closer
on that body cam there.
- A bit more.
- Could someone
please explain to me
what the hell is going on?
Sir, slightly
sensitive subject.
Thought it best
to keep it quiet.
- A bit further in, please.
- C, a word.
Absolutely. No one leaves
the medina, all right?
This...
This is nonsense.
Despite
your personal feelings,
H is one of the best agents
ever to wear this suit.
No, he was one of the best
agents to wear this suit.
He hasn't been the same
since the Hive. Look. Look.
My sources say
that Vungus stole it
from the Jababian War Department
Advanced Research Division
and brought it here.
And you kept this from me?
For how long?
- Explain yourself.
- Oh, explain myself?
Sir, whatever that thing is,
M and H had it in your office,
and you let them go, sir.
With all due respect,
you let them go.
- Carry on.
- Yes, sir.
- And, C.
- Sir?
Bring them
straight to me.
Whatever that thing is,
Vungus died to protect it.
He gave it to me
so it wouldn't go to them.
- Yes, sir.
- H, listen to me.
This isn't my operation.
Get out of there.
Get safe. Then report.
M may be right.
You, I want sitreps
every 10 minutes.
There could be
a mole in the Men in Black.
All right. Take this.
I'll draw them away.
I'll meet you
at the main square in 20.
Go.
Hey, guys,
what are the odds?
Nasr!
I need to borrow your bike.
As long as it is
to borrow, not steal.
Yes. Of course. Quick.
- Come on.
- Bassam!
Ooh!
- Okay, accelerator, brake.
- Water.
- Very hot out there.
- That's very thoughtful of you.
This is pretty
straightforward?
Yes. Very
straightforward, indeed.
Just like riding a bike.
Okay, cool.
Sorry.
Well, this is nothing
like riding a bike at all.
Quick, jump on!
Hold on tight.
Oh, shit!
Hold on, Pawny!
Hold on!
Wait for me!
Thanks!
Ha! I can't believe
that actually worked.
- Hey, H?
- Yeah?
Oh, right. Glasses.
Hi, everyone. If you could all
look right here.
Just drive.
Move! Go!
Oh, boy.
What do you think? Red button?
I think it's hyperdrive.
No, I think
hyperdrive is blue.
Sometimes you have to
trust your gut.
My gut, not yours!
Somebody press something!
Whoo-hoo!
Lost the tail.
What'd I tell you, huh?
Hyperdrive.
- Yeah, yeah. Okay.
- Trust your gut. Trust your gut.
Oh, God, I hate sand.
The red button was awesome!
Let's press the red button
again.
Wow.
Hey, what's it doing?
Moving.
Oh.
What...?
What is that thing?
See the core?
How it keeps emitting convective energy
across the interior of
the photosphere?
Yeah, yeah.
No, I see all of it.
I see the...
The photosphere bit.
Okay, yeah. Shh.
Those are thermonuclear
explosions.
Wait, what? What does that mean?
Like a bomb or something?
I think what we're looking at
is a super compressed star.
And by the color
temperature,
I'd say it's a blue giant.
Let's press the button.
Let's see what this does.
Are you suggesting we try
a weaponized star for fun?
Mm-hm. Well,
for science and fun.
The two aren't
mutually exclusive. Okay.
I know.
Yeah, there is
no better place.
They don't call it
the Empty Quarter for nothing.
That's why I made
the suggestion. Go.
Uh, at just .001?
What do you think?
Yeah. Just start off slow.
- Press the button.
- Okay.
Mm. Maybe ratchet it up
a few notches,
a little higher...
Whoa!
That was the low setting?
Uh, do we think anyone's gonna
notice that wasn't there before?
Sir, they got away.
I believe
the appropriate phrase is...
you lost them.
Well,
I put it to you, sir...
- ...that they had help.
- Probably.
But I know H. Whatever
he's doing, there's a reason.
Why do you
keep protecting him?
Huh? What is it
going to take?
I am protecting
this institution.
From what? From me?
Are you questioning
my loyalty, sir?
At the very least,
your judgment.
Is there anything else,
Agent C?
- No, sir.
- Good.
Then would you
kindly leave?
Vungus knew how powerful
that thing was, right?
He knew it could destroy worlds,
and he gave it to you.
I don't understand.
Someone he only just met.
Why would he do that?
- I don't know.
- Hmm?
Maybe he trusted me.
I'm not gonna doubt
your general trustworthiness,
but, I mean, I sang
at Vungus' mother's funeral.
Quite beautifully,
I might add.
We knew everything
about one another.
I mean, hey, I'm pretty sure
he trusted me. Heh.
Okay, H,
if you must know...
he said that you'd changed.
I'm getting sick of hearing
this "you've changed" crap.
I'm the same person
I was years ago.
You've always been
this way?
What way?
Uh, vaguely inept.
Arrogant. Reckless.
- Did I miss anything?
- Heh. Okay, yeah. Hey, look.
Arrogant and reckless.
That's nice.
Maybe I am a few
of those things occasionally,
but my job is saving the planet,
and that's what I do.
I do a good job at it.
While that's still happening,
the rules are:
there are no rules.
- Well, that's a rule.
- Mm-hm.
Argh. Damn it.
All right, nobody move!
- Drop it, hairball!
- Nobody move.
- Bassam. How'd you get here?
- Feeling hydrated, H?
Never had a bath before.
- Lost 2 pounds in dirt alone.
- God, we drank from that.
Oh, God, I thought
it tasted like a living beard.
Okay, um...
Bassam, listen,
all right, mate?
Uh, let's be sensible.
I don't think you know
what you're dealing with, so...
Oh, no, I definitely do.
Which is why she's gonna pay
so much for it.
- No, wait. Wait, wait!
- No, no, no!
Have a nice life, bozos!
Great job, H.
Pawny, can you ask her
to pass me the torque wrench?
She has a name and a title,
and you know that.
My lady, the jackass wants
a torque wrench.
Pawny, will you tell him
the sooner he restores power
to my drive console,
the sooner I can figure out
- how to program it?
- My lady says
you're a cloth-brained ass-clown
whose gullible idiocy
has threatened the very
existence of the planet.
You know what, she didn't
say that. All right?
You worst piece
on the chess board.
- She said that.
- Didn't say any of it.
Yeah, but I was thinking it.
Actually, every single word.
You make a really good point.
Thank you.
If you'll tell your lady
she now has power.
The jackass says, my lady,
that you have power.
- Can you thank him?
- Really?
But in a cold,
kind of polite way.
You can even put a glare
on it.
Just play around with it.
I trust you.
My lady says thank you.
I know where the weapon's going
and how to get it back.
- My lady?
- I got this one. I'm listening.
Bassam has only one
real buyer:
Riza Stavros.
Riza? The Riza
that you went out with?
The intergalactic,
alien arms-dealer Riza?
I'm gonna hop back in
for a second.
You dated Riza Stavros,
the Merchant of Death?
The Mother of Murder?
- She's pretty hot.
- Okay, I didn't know
she was an arms dealer
when we met.
And I was distracted
by her feminine wiles
and her
intoxicating beauty.
And besides, we weren't
interested in labels.
We were interested
in our hearts.
If having a big, old heart
is a crime, then shoot me.
Not yet.
You'll let me know, though,
right?
But really?
Your "big, old heart"?
- What?
- It's just...
Well, it...?
It's funny, is it? Hmm?
"My big, old heart."
So stupid. Who talks like that?
Ha-ha-ha. Big, old doofus.
You've never been in love,
have you?
I'm not making fun.
I'm genuinely asking.
You've never once
abandoned logic for passion?
What is this? The sequel to
The Notebook? I never saw it,
but I assume it's a lot
of this type of nonsense.
Heh. No, I haven't.
Passion is unstable,
- and logic is constant.
- Is that right?
Yeah. Physical attraction
is nothing more
than chemical reactions
in your brain.
Can't trust them.
They're not real.
Isn't the whole universe
a chemical reaction?
Pretty sure
you can trust that.
Feels pretty real.
That's actually
kind of deep.
Well, that should do it.
Power her up.
Thank you.
Pawny. Not there.
That's as
far as I could jump.
I could jump higher, but it
would've been more awkward.
Okay, enough.
Here we go.
And look at that.
- Well done.
- Mm-hm.
I know Riza. She may be
the Merchant of Death,
but she does have
one weakness.
Ready to be a hero,
little guy?
Pretty open to anything.
Good, because
we're going to Naples.
Oh, to Riza's Fortified
Fortress of For Sure Death?
Don't shoot. Don't shoot.
- Oh. I'm so sorry.
- Oh.
Can we do this another day?
I have another visitor.
- Absolutely.
- Yeah?
Thank you.
Au revoir.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Luca.
- Did you miss me?
- No.
H.
I know why you're here.
Why are you wearing
pink trousers?
So how have you been?
It's been a while, huh? That's
the tough thing about breakups,
is the friendships
you lose. Heh. Ahh.
We had some good times,
though, didn't we?
Riza and I had
good times, I guess.
You just lurked
in the background a bit.
Wonderful, isn't she?
I just love
dumb,
beautiful creatures.
Well, this is familiar,
isn't it?
So...
MIB finally
showed you the door, eh?
Showed myself out,
actually.
Oh.
Some horses are born
to roam free.
And others just get shot.
What are you doing here?
I wanted to see you.
And I brought you something.
I know
how you like special pets,
so I brought you
a peace offering.
Meow,
meow.
Bark, woof,
et cetera, et cetera.
Oh, I like it.
He is cute in an ugly
sort of way, isn't he?
The last
of his kind.
You always did know the way
to my heart, didn't you?
You always knew how to make mine
beat that little bit faster.
Not a neuralyzer in the
world could make me forget that.
I was actually looking forward
to seeing my guns tear you
to pieces, then I saw
that perfect little face
of yours, and...
I had to know.
Know what?
I want to know the truth.
- Mm-hm.
- Was this ever real?
Hmm? This?
You, me? Was it?
This'll be good.
Was it?
I knew who you were
from the start.
My job
was to gain your trust
and take you down
when the opportunity came.
That's the truth.
Gotta turn my
earpiece off for this.
God, shut up.
- What?
- No, I'm sorry.
It's what I say
to my heart...
when it's like a voice
inside my head.
Oh, I know.
I couldn't fake that.
Thank you.
It's okay.
No, but thank you for...
For giving me closure.
We all need some...
Some closure from time to time.
- Get him out of here.
- What...? Wait, no. Hey.
Wait.
I need some closure too.
- What about my feelings?
- H, here's a tip for you.
Next time you bring
a peace offering,
don't make it the same day
I come into possession
of the most powerful weapon
ever created.
This has nothing to do
with that.
I didn't know
you had a weapon.
It's a separate thing.
A coincidence.
Total coincidence. Didn't know
she had a weapon. Did you?
Take him
to the boat.
All right.
Okay, okay, okay.
Fellas,
I think that went pretty well.
Looks like we'll be seeing
a lot more of each other.
Okay.
Okay, okay, okay. Shh...
Sebastian, darling.
How would you like
to be able to destroy
entire solar systems
without leaving your home?
- Pawny?
- Yeah, I see it.
Uh...
Oh, would you look at that.
Good to go, M.
Okay, Pawny,
it's all on you now.
Okay, that kind of pressure
is not constructive.
It's very simple, darling.
Do you want it or not?
No, I only have one,
Sebastian,
and I won't have that
for long.
No, I'm gonna give you
five seconds.
Perfectly done.
Whoop.
I'm going to call you back.
Crap. Oh, crap. Oh, crap.
Look at your little legs.
You are so fast.
Why, look at you run.
You're so fast!
Wait, I'm coming.
I'm coming.
Now, you don't run away again.
Oh, hello.
Oh, and here I thought...
H worked alone.
Silly me.
Poor you.
It's been a steep
learning curve, yeah.
Oh, that? That's a snub-nosed
Karzig annihilator.
Do you know what that does
to a human body?
It boils you
from the inside out.
Cute.
Do you know what
a Pawny does
to sadistic
alien arms-dealers?
No, honey.
Tell me what a Pawny is.
I'm a Pawny,
you psycho!
Looks like
the tables have turned.
That was an incredible catch.
That felt good.
Don't worry. Don't worry.
It's all part of the plan.
Well, H, you always have been
rather delusional.
Peace offering.
Kill them.
Start with him
and make it hurt.
No! You don't have
to do this.
Put me down,
you Tarantian thug.
Wait.
Did you say "Tarantian"?
- Yes.
- Yes, my lady, he did.
They tend to be single-minded
when it comes to killing.
Brains the size
of a pistachio nut.
Okay, shh.
You're not helping.
The creature you saw was
an unlicensed Tarantian
from Andromeda II.
Tarantian?
I know a Tarantian.
I met one once.
I helped him.
Kabla nakshulin.
What?
Kabla nakshulin?
- What she said.
- How do you know that?
Because he said it to me.
Molly?
Yes.
Molly? Are you shitting me?
Really?
Who's delusional now?
It's you?
You've grown.
I mean, me too.
Give her the box.
Luca,
you can't do this.
Haven't I been good to you?
I've let you kill anyone
you wanted.
Come on.
No?
The box.
Thank you.
You changed my life,
by the way. Heh, heh.
Hey, uh, quickly.
Kabla nakshulin,
what does it mean?
It means:
"One day,
I'll kill whoever you choose
in the most gruesome way
imaginable."
Or maybe we just
keep her here for a moment
until he and I can discuss
a plan of action.
H? H, are you okay?
I'm good.
That was...
That was a rush.
Yeah,
and incredibly painful.
- Yeah.
- Pretty sure the plan
went wrong in
every conceivable way.
Yeah, well...
So, uh,
it's Molly, huh?
You're not supposed
to know that.
Well, too late.
I know it now.
Guess it's only fair
that you know mine.
- I don't wanna know.
- I'll tell you.
- Okay.
- You ready?
Horatio.
- It is not.
- It's not.
It's Henry.
Yeah, you look like
a Henry.
- Good. It's all I've got.
- I'm Steve.
Steve? I thought you said
pawns didn't have names.
We don't.
I was just feeling left out.
Oh, Steve.
Whoa...
Wha...?
That is not cool.
I don't like what
the earth is doing now.
No, no, no.
Kabla nakshulin!
It was worth a try.
We must have the
weapon, for the Hive.
No. I don't know if
you've heard,
but we are
the Men in Black.
The Men and Women
in Black.
Nice save.
If you think
we'll hand this over,
you've got
another think coming.
You don't know who
you're dealing with.
See, we protect the Earth.
Everyone and everything on it.
So you wanna do this?
You wanna get down?
Fine. Let's go.
Move, and I'll obliterate
this entire island
and everything on it.
Including us. You don't think
we should've spoken about this?
I just gave a whole speech.
Yeah, I liked the speech.
I just thought
this would be more effective.
You heard me.
Don't make me use it.
We'll do anything
to protect our world.
So will we.
Nothing in this universe
is unkillable.
With the proper voltage.
Are you both
all right?
Yes, sir.
Never better.
- Sir, how did you find us?
- Experience.
Riza again, H?
When are you
going to learn?
I knew
I could count on you.
That, in the end,
you'd pull through.
Thank you, sir.
You too, M.
Agent O had a feeling
about you, and she was right.
The universe has a way
of leading you
to where
you're supposed to be...
At the moment
you're supposed to be there.
Let's go home.
Let's keep this safe,
shall we?
Saunder,
inform the Jababian embassy,
we have the weapon.
Quite the first assignment
for a probationary agent, M.
Marrakesh,
the Empty Quarter, Naples.
Imagine what you will accomplish
when you're one of us.
- Yes, sir.
- Enjoy this moment, M.
They never last.
I don't know how you do
it, but you keep doing it.
Yeah? What's that, C?
Well, saving the world
from total destruction
twice...
in as many years.
I mean...
- what are the odds?
- What are the odds?
MIB!
Right.
- Excuse me.
- Yeah.
- Hey.
- Hey.
How's it going?
- Uh, you know.
- Cool party, huh?
- Yeah, great party.
- Something is wrong.
That's what
I was thinking.
I said to the Dyads we'd
do anything to save our world.
- They said that they would too.
- Mm-hmm.
Then they told us they needed
the weapon for the Hive.
What if we misunderstood
what that meant?
Maybe they needed the weapon
to use against the Hive
- to save their world.
- Mm-hmm.
Which could mean they were
never the Hive at all.
Uh-huh.
But the DNA, the mutations.
High T showed us that sample.
All right. Let's see.
Agent H, bring up
the Dyad forensic report.
Who has the authority
to make a case file disappear?
Come with me.
And what about Naples?
How did he know we were there?
He was doing his job.
Does his job
include tracking us?
He gave this to me as a gift.
It has a chip inside it.
We need to see the confiscated
Jababian weapon.
Not possible.
Not possible? I'm the
senior agent on the case.
Let's make it possible.
Where's the weapon?
I think he's been chasing it
the entire time.
High T is the mole.
He's gotta be.
A mole for who?
Where would he take it?
Paris.
My guess would be Paris.
I knew all along
that something was off.
I thought
he was covering for you,
but it turns out,
it was him.
He was hiding
his own tracks.
Gotta be an explanation.
M, come on.
- I'm coming with you.
- No, C.
Hey, hey. Come on, now.
This isn't about you.
I know. I agree.
Listen, if it turns out
what you're saying is true
and word gets out that T,
the most decorated agent
in MIB history,
is a traitor,
the agency will never recover.
If we stop him,
no one ever has to know.
But what if
you can't stop him? Then what?
Well, then
tell them it was me.
Tell them
I was the traitor.
Trust me,
the agency will believe you.
You.
Oh, that's right.
That happened.
That's what
I'm talking about.
I'm driving.
Uh...
That really
should be here.
Not in this country.
There should be
a big red button somewhere.
Yes!
Press the red button.
Found it.
Whoa!
H, you gotta see this.
A portal from Sector C
has been activated.
The Hive.
I'm sending you backup. Out.
You remember when I told you
we're in the lying business?
Mm-hmm.
T said that to me
when he recruited me.
He said,
"We have to lie to the world,
which means we can never lie
to each other."
I just don't believe
that he has.
But you can't always
trust your gut, H.
Sometimes things are
as they appear to be.
No, we saved the world,
for God's sakes.
Together,
with nothing but our wits
and our Series-7
De-Atomizers.
So I've heard.
- H?
- Yeah?
Mind telling me
one more time?
How'd you beat the Hive?
Uh, it was
three years ago.
High T and I
went to face the Hive
with nothing but our wits and
our Series-7 De-Atomizers. Cool?
Yes, but how'd you do it?
Wait. What are you doing?
- I'm curious. How'd you do it?
- I told you.
- You didn't, though.
- I did a few times.
Okay, High T and I went up
to face the Hive
with nothing but our wits
and our Series-7 De-Atomizers...
Am I...?
I'm repeating myself, aren't I?
- Over and over.
- Word for word.
Yeah, um... Okay,
why would I be doing that?
H, I don't think that you beat
the Hive that night.
I think you were neuralyzed.
Ah. You came to say goodbye.
And you brought the lovely M.
You can really feel
the history here.
Eiffel
discovering wormholes,
gangways to
other civilizations,
the First Alien Migration.
And we made history here too,
didn't we, H?
With just our wits
and our Series-7 De-Atomizers.
No. We didn't.
The Hive wanted the most
powerful weapon in the galaxy,
so you had Vungus bring it
to Men in Black.
You'd wait. When it came,
you'd give it to them.
My dear boy, you were always
a bright one...
but there's no stopping this.
With the weapon out of the way,
every planet will fall,
starting with this one.
Step away from the controls.
You neuralyzed me.
Made me a hero,
the guy that saved the world.
Left alive to sell the lie.
They wanted this.
You were there.
You were always
like a son to me.
H?
You were always
like a son to me.
That's not High T anymore.
You were always
like a son
to him.
Shoot it! Shoot it!
My queen!
I'm coming!
What do we do?
What do we do?
I'm gonna get it back.
I know he's still
in there somewhere.
Hey!
Hey! I know
you're in there somewhere!
It's me, H.
Remember, you wanted me
to take your place.
M!
The truth of the universe.
I want to know
how it all works.
The universe has a way
of leading you
to where you're
supposed to be.
At the moment
you're supposed to be there.
My queen!
I'm not losing another queen.
You said
I was like a son to you.
You were like
a father to me.
H.
Right time...
right place.
Pawny?
- Yeah?
- You've served your queen well.
Thank you, my lady.
It was my honor.
So is she as tough as they say?
In a word, yes.
- Well, you didn't screw up.
- No, ma'am.
Let's be honest,
there were a few bumps along the way,
- friction at the start...
- Let's not be honest.
Okay. No,
we did not screw up.
You said there may be a problem
in London, but you knew.
I hadn't trusted London branch
for some time.
I never understood
the reason why.
T lived for
this organization.
He was the very best
we had to offer. He will be...
...missed.
Welcome to the circus,
Agent M.
You are no longer
probationary.
Well, there you go.
My work here is done, I...
- You are.
- I'm sorry, what?
Probationary head
of London branch.
I'm sorry.
Probationary head?
It sounds like I got promoted
and demoted at the same time.
No. Try and cope.
Several years ago, before
all this, T mentioned to me
a young, up-and-coming
field agent who had certain
leadership qualities,
shall we say.
Was his faith in you
misplaced?
No, I just think
there are
far more experienced
agents than myself.
Yeah, there are.
But you have the full support
of our senior staff
and, by the way, Agent C.
Is that right?
- Do I take it you accept?
- Yes.
Good. I'll talk to
the bosses upstairs.
You need to clear
your London desk
and report to MIB
in New York on Monday.
New York.
Thank you, Agent O.
Congratulations,
probie.
Congratulations to you too.
You'll want to
brief your agents.
Walk with me.
So you wanted to know
how it all works.
Now you do.
And as you will no doubt
have divined, Agent M,
there's a price.
Nope.
Hey there.
What are you doing?
I told O I had to
take care of
a couple things
before I went back.
Yeah? What,
like stealing my car?
No, like driving it.
You're on the right side,
at least.
I'm a quick study.
Give me a lift
back to London?
Road trip.
Up, up, up!
Oh, God.
Did not need that.
Could you zap me with
that forgetting thing, please?
What are you doing here,
Pawny?
Get used to seeing me,
pretty boy.
- I'm your new babysitter.
- He's my new what?
- Babysitter.
- Queen's orders.
She says the chance
of your sorry ass
surviving without me:
Zero.
Okay, I did not say that...
exactly.
She said, "Slim to zero."
I rounded it down to zero
because
I feel like it's zero.
Consider it a parting gift.
Come on.
I saved the world.
You couldn't tell because
you were getting choked out.
- Do I even have a choice?
- No.
Yes! There we go. All right.
Where's that little red button?
Oh, it's right here.
Whoa!
I still don't like you.
I love that option.
This is a complicated piece
of machinery, so be careful.
Yeah, got it.
I'm gonna trust my gut.
God, do I
hate Paris.
Not to worry.
Probably won't be
around
much longer.
I've been waiting
a long time for this.
I guess what...
What I'm trying to say is,
- Lisa, will you mar...?
- Bonjour.
We're with
Tower security.
Uh, we're
terribly sorry,
but you're not
supposed to be here.
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
So? She say yes?
- I haven't asked yet.
- He hasn't asked yet.
Oh, well, that's
a terrible shame, isn't it?
Because, you see, that
blinking light back there
means there's been
a breach in Portal 2.
Which means,
in just a few minutes,
the most vile creatures
in the entire universe,
the Hive,
are gonna consume
every last one
of us from the inside out.
I don't understand.
All will be explained
if you look right...
here.
The Tower was closed
for repairs.
Ask her
on the way down.
This way,
please.
Thank you.
Mind
the gap.
Right. Shall we?
Let's do this.
Hey, guys.
Who the hell
are you?
Ask her again
down on the ground.
- Whew.
- Ah, there you are.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's try this again,
shall we?
So, what's
the play here?
We've been
in this situation before.
We've never faced
the Hive before.
They've never
faced us.
Always remember,
The universe has
a way of leading you
to where
you're supposed to be
at the moment
you're supposed to be there.
Yeah, well, sometimes,
the universe gets it wrong.
"Let's have some action.
I want some
asses wiggling.
I want some perfection."
Get my
three-wood.
- Come on, let's go.
- Okay, okay.
Careful.
Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God. Baby.
- What?
Uh...
That wasn't
no animal, okay?
It was a...
It was a...
I ain't never seen
nothing like that before.
It was, like,
a creature.
What? Harold,
call the police.
- The who?
- The police. Call the police!
That was fast.
Evening.
We're from Animal Control.
- You saw something?
- We haven't called yet.
Are we in danger?
Does it have rabies?
That wasn't a regular animal.
- It was like...
- The creature you saw was
an unlicensed Tarantian
from Andromeda II.
Very rare, very dangerous.
- Sorry, what?
- A Tarantian.
I know.
He looks cute now.
- Tarantian?
- But when they hit puberty,
they turn into real monsters.
Shh.
Don't be scared.
It's okay.
Tell me,
is there anyone else in the house?
Just our daughter.
She's sleeping.
A raccoon.
Yeah, that's your problem, folks.
Go ahead and make sure
those trash can lids
are on nice and tight,
and we were never here.
We should
go check on Molly.
We've gotta
get you out of here.
Come on.
It's okay.
I'm your friend. I'm Molly. Go on.
Molly.
Kabla nakshulin.
Kabla nakshulin.
Well, Molly,
you've scored excellent
or above
in every area.
Fitness,
deductive reasoning, logic,
weapons training.
Just one problem.
You didn't check a box.
For your preferred division.
Everyone has to check a box.
Hm.
Yeah, I made my own box
for the division
that has no box.
You know, the division
where they wear black suits
and deal with the guys from...
...up there.
You mean, Accounting?
No, like...
Yeah, still...
Accounting.
That should fix the glitch.
- Remember, we care.
- You're good to go.
And remember, we care.
Look for the icon marked
advanced extensions.
- Okay.
- Click on it.
Which icon?
There's a bunch...
- Thirteenth icon from the left.
- Whose left?
- Your left.
- Oh, sorry.
- I got it now.
- Okay, got it?
Yeah, got it.
Are you still there?
- Hello? Help. What's going on?
- Oh, no.
Nothing. Let me just run
a little diagnostic on my end,
and I will be back.
No, it won't take long.
Not long at all. Okay.
What the f...?
- This is perplexing.
- Is it?
Is it?
A-L-I-E-N-S?
I don't know why
you always insist
on whispering
and spelling that.
Finally decided
to show up, huh?
Oh, my God.
All I have to do
is figure out
trajectory, and I am in.
- I'm back. Okay, try this.
- Hi.
- Unplug it, plug it back in.
- Okay.
- And remember, we care.
- Hello?
I have to go.
Jimmy's coming back
to get the kids.
Yes.
Okay. Let's see
where you are now.
Welcome back,
Professor Armitage.
Oh, you tricky one.
I don't think you're
a meteor after all, are you?
Nope, I think you are
an unauthorized landing.
This is it.
It's all happening.
See you soon, Jimmy.
Right here, right here.
Right here.
- Hey, hey.
- Hey.
Please keep
the meter running.
I'll pay you
extra.
What?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come on, Jimmy.
What are you doing
back on Earth?
Hey, this is...?
This is Earth?
My bad, guys.
Come on.
Tell it to O back at HQ.
I want to see my kids.
Get this ship out of here.
I'll escort our
Zamporian friend back.
- Don't lose them.
- What?
- I'm on it. On it.
- Go, go, go. Go.
Hey,
did they bring in that Zamporian yet?
Came in a couple of
minutes ahead of you.
The guy tried to sneak in
behind a Perseid meteor shower.
Amateur hour. Am I right?
Right as rain.
Rain don't lie.
Sheesh, talk about
amateur hour.
Hey, you gonna
call this in, or what?
Code Black.
Unauthorized visitor.
Lockdown protocol engaged
in three, two, one.
All right,
who's she working for?
She claims to be
working alone.
A random civilian
simply waltzes in
off the high street.
I don't think so.
Neuralyze her.
No, no, no. Don't.
I know what that thing is.
Please.
Hang on. Hang on.
She had
an experience.
It erased my parents' memories,
but it didn't take mine.
So my whole life,
everyone's called me crazy.
They said that
I needed therapy,
which, okay,
admittedly, I did,
but not for this.
Did she really hack
into the Hubble Telescope
to look at Andromeda II,
and we didn't catch her?
In the old days,
we'd have hired her.
It took me 20 years to find you,
plus or minus.
How many people
can say that?
I found you.
So you found us.
You proved you're not crazy.
You win the I'm Not Crazy
badge. Now what?
- I want in.
- We don't hire. We recruit.
Then I'd like
to be recruited.
I'm going to need more.
But would you mind giving me
one good reason?
Because I'm smart.
I'm motivated.
I look good in black.
I'm...
Boring me.
Because I have absolutely
no life whatsoever.
I have nothing.
I have no dog, no cat,
definitely no chill.
I have nothing
that I couldn't
happily walk away from,
which makes me
perfect for this job.
Well, you're certainly
suitably tragic.
No love?
No relationships?
They just distract you from
what's important.
Hm, really?
And what's important?
The truth
of the universe.
I wanna know everything.
I wanna know
how it all works.
You really think
a black suit
is going to solve
all your problems?
Mmm... No,
but it looks damn good on you.
That's true.
From this
moment, you will conform
to the identity we give you.
You will dress only
in MIB Special Services attire.
You have been trained
in the use
of MIB-sanctioned technology,
vehicles and weaponry.
Mm-mm.
You will not
stand out in any way.
You are no longer
part of the system.
You do not exist.
Check, please.
We are above the system.
Over it, beyond it.
We are them. We are they.
We are
the Men in Black.
The "Men"
in Black?
Don't.
Don't start.
I've had
the conversation.
They didn't seem
to be able to let it go.
It's a process.
Attachment issue, I think.
There's
your first assignment.
Okay.
When do I get my...?
It's called a neuralyzer.
And you don't just get it,
you earn it.
You've been accepted
for a probationary period.
Impress me, and
we'll see about the bzzz.
- Okay.
- Hm.
You're a fan of the truth,
aren't you, Agent M?
- I like it.
- Mm.
I think we may have
a problem in London.
Wow, that is smooth.
Let's keep them coming,
shall we?
Another
round.
Ah!
So can I just say how much
I'm liking this place?
It's formal,
but not too stuffy.
Classic, but still
kind of stylish.
Makes it a very Eyes Wide Shut
kind of vibe.
I'm kidding.
Sort of.
Hoo, hoo!
Or is it
mostly just
the lethal high-stakes
gambling?
Thank you very much.
Would you look at that?
Straight to the ace, gentlemen.
That's me again.
Let's talk business,
shall we?
I can move this stuff.
Who do I speak with
about getting
a lot more of it?
Because I'm in.
You're not.
You see, I have
a very strict
"no Men in Black"
policy.
Oh, God.
I don't blame you.
Who'd want those assholes
coming in here?
Men in Black. The Morons
in Black, if you ask me.
What a bunch of dicks.
Am I right?
All it takes is one bad apple
to spoil any environment...
Stop it, guys.
I am MIB,
you Cerulian scum.
And FYI, your little
club here sucks.
You're gonna give me
everything.
Suppliers, sellers,
your whole network.
Your luck run out.
You're already dead.
Only one person here
has the antidote.
Emily, sweetheart.
Please, I'll... I'll give you
whatever you want.
Please.
Anything you want.
Anything I want?
The express
train to London has arrived.
With continuing service
to Paris, Stockholm,
Milan, Rome, Madrid.
Caught him
in the locker room.
I knew that kid
was neuralyzing himself.
I told him, "Do that too much,
and you'll go blind."
Right?
Who could go for a nosh?
I'd like a
nice pastrami sandwich.
With lots of melted cheese.
Now arriving,
express train from New York.
Last call for Flight 2112
to the Cat's Eye Nebula.
Welcome, Agent M.
Please report
to New Agent Orientation.
Access granted, Agent M.
...every hour from Gate 12.
Excuse me, ma'am.
It's never
who you think it is.
Oh, no.
That one makes sense.
So you're the one
who found us.
Yes, I am.
I'm T. High T.
Oh, yeah.
You're...
- I run this little circus.
- Yeah.
Welcome, M.
It's nice
to meet you, sir.
O told me to expect
some great things.
- And great things shall you get.
- Good.
Right through there.
Hi, you.
Wait, wait, wait!
Don't touch him!
Oh, God.
- I got him, I got him.
- You guys...
I got him. I got him.
Change it, change it.
All right, buddy.
All right. Drink this.
Oh, careful.
You break it, you buy it.
Keep it. Keep it.
On me.
We need to see
the queen.
Yes.
Uh-oh.
You have
visitors.
State your business
with the queen.
We need someone
to die.
As clearly stated in Section 6C
of the Treaty of Andromeda II,
we do not kill Jababians
nor participate
in the murder thereof.
This is nonnegotiable.
Well, it's slightly
negotiable.
Oy!
Morning.
I'm in the market
for a useless, old,
broken-down machine.
What do you got?
You're not gonna
get a rise out of me, H.
It's the Imperial
with the red tab.
Do try to keep up.
Thank you, Charlie.
That's the old
portal depot.
Site of the First
Great Alien Migration.
Wait,
so Eiffel was an MIB agent?
One of
the first.
He helped so many
intergalactic refugees
seeking protection
here on Earth.
If you look closely,
you can see my grandma
and my grandpa
in that picture.
So beautiful.
- Here you are, dear.
- Thank you.
What's
up with that guy?
Nerlene!
Sorry.
He's just
so yummy.
- Who is he?
- H.
Only the best agent
in the building.
He saved the world once
with nothing but his wits
and a Series-7
De-Atomizer.
He saved
the world?
From what?
The Hive.
The Hive.
Hey, Guy,
do me a favor.
- Handle my calls.
- Oh, love to.
Where are you
going?
To do some homework.
An awful,
terrible incident in Marrakesh.
The North Africa office
is investigating.
And in
other business,
H has decided to grace us
with his presence after all.
Apologies, sir. I was working
late. Morning, everyone.
So was I. Cleaning
your mess. Thank you.
You should've seen the mess
I was cleaning up this morning.
It was a totally
unsanctioned op, sir,
requiring two containment units
and a full neuralyzer squad.
I prefer to look at this
from a macro point of view,
not get bogged
in the details.
The bad guy's dead,
so, you know.
Take a seat, please.
One last item.
A member of the
Jababian royal family
has a layover on his way
to Centaurus A.
Vungus the Ugly.
Inherited the title.
Believe it or not,
Vungus here
is the looker
in the crowd.
Holograms always add
10 pounds.
Jababian society doesn't allow
for certain
indiscretions.
In short, he wants
to be shown a good time.
We could say no,
but Jababian mining vessels
would grind us
into galactic dust.
Some irony there, sir, if you
think that we used to, uh,
protect Earth
from the scum of the universe.
Now it seems
we're protecting scum.
Actually, that's why it would
be right up your street.
Your cup of tea, H.
I know Vungus.
He doesn't really drink tea.
He prefers vodka,
tequila,
hand sanitizer,
sometimes all at once.
Once, we woke up
handcuffed to a horse...
- What, H?
- Pipe down.
Sorry.
Sincere apologies.
You will be
his chaperone.
In fact, he specifically
asked for you.
Okay. Absolutely,
hopefully we don't end up
handcuffed to
a horse again, heh.
Please.
I'll have him home
by midnight.
Good boy.
If you will.
"Good boy.
If you will."
"Good man,"
I think he said.
Keep Daddy
happy, yeah?
We're like this.
You look
after Papi so well.
You're so jealous,
aren't you?
Papi's
little fancy boy.
You wish
you had a papi.
...They came in
on transportation...
Uh, ahem.
Hello.
Whoo! Oops.
- Sorry.
- Ahem. Hi.
Hey. Nope, I'm awake.
It's all right.
Just catching up
on my daily meditation.
I have been meaning
to try that.
I read that it
dramatically improves
mitochondrial energy
production.
Yep, yep.
No, it absolutely does.
My mitochondrial energy's
through the roof.
- Um... Have we met before?
- No. Agent M.
I heard you were
on the Vungus meet,
and I wanted
to offer assistance.
I'm a bit of
a Jababian wonk.
Language, culture,
politics, fashion.
Anyways, I compiled
a dossier for you to read.
Oh, a dossier. I love
a good dossier.
The thing is...
Ask around.
I work alone.
Ask anyone around here.
Did you know that Jababians
are claircognizant empaths,
which means
they can read your mind?
And your cards.
- Well, they do have a tell.
- What's that?
Subdermal spots on
the underside of their arms
- change color.
- Mm, good to know.
Thank you for your offer.
I'm good.
Okay. Message
understood.
I will leave you
to your...
meditation.
Thank you.
Oh.
Do you know
what your tell is?
You snore
when you meditate.
Actually, on second thought,
maybe I could use some backup.
I was thinking, for the op,
I can take the perimeter,
- and you make the approach to Vungus.
- Yes, good.
- Okay.
- The thing is, with this particular club.
everybody just wants
to do their own thing.
Aliens wanna look like humans,
humans wanna look like aliens,
so we may need
to loosen up a bit.
Maybe we lose
the tie first, yeah?
Pop a couple of buttons
and not look so stiff.
We don't want to advertise
our profession,
if you know
what I mean.
"Men in Black.
Aliens, get down!"
- I get it.
- Don't do that.
Yeah? Good. Great. Perfect.
How about me? How do I look?
I would just, uh.
- Do you mind if I...?
- What?
Coming in.
It's a fine line
between club casual
and the saddest man
on Earth.
Thank you.
- Mm-hm.
- Yeah. Shall we?
I thought
that we were here.
We are.
Entrance
for special guests.
Step on it,
would you, Freddie?
You got it, H.
Hm.
Yeah, okay.
Wasn't expecting that.
The Vungus among us!
H-Bomb!
- V-Go! V-Go!
- Yeah, yeah!
- Yeah!
- Woo!
Look at you.
You've lost weight.
What have you done
to your hair?
You changed it.
Looks fantastic.
- Oh, I...
- I barely recognize you.
Sorry. M, this
is Vungus. Vungus, M.
Hello, M.
Muah.
So nice
to meet you.
I've heard
a lot about you.
Highly redacted,
of course.
Such a charmer. He says...
he thinks
you're hot.
He thinks I'm what?
Sorry?
It's a rough translation.
Probably works better
on Ja... Jababia,
but you know that,
since you speak fluent Jababian.
Oh.
Of course. I was just trying
to find the words to articulate
how incredibly eye-catching
you yourself are.
Well, that he is.
M knows everything
about Jababia.
I wouldn't say "everything."
Always more to learn.
It's like
a fetish.
Hah, okay, that implies
something sexual.
- It's definitely not.
- It is.
It's always,
"Oh, Jababia this,
Jababia that, Jababia,
Jababia, Jababia!"
Yeah, baby!
I knew you would hit it off.
Have a dance, okay?
M loves to dance.
She's a wonderful dancer.
I'll get drinks.
You're still
a vodka cranberry guy?
You know it.
Okay. Okay.
M, please.
Come, sit next
to Vungus.
I promise, I don't bite.
Okay, just give me
one sec.
Four
vodka cranberries.
It's all right.
I'll get this one.
Put it on
the company card.
Little tip,
expense everything.
Hey, quick question,
no big deal.
Are you pimping me out
to Vungus?
What? No.
What the hell would give you
that... impression?
Hello. Ha-ha-ha!
- Oh, I don't know. That?
- Oh, ahem.
Better not look at that.
Hey, if you wanna use me
as alien bait,
just let me know next time.
I don't like to be lied to.
What, like pretending
to be an expert
in something you're not?
We're in
the lying business.
- Are we?
- Jababians are prickly.
We want them to be happy.
So they don't destroy our planet
and everything.
That is the mission.
If you're not
down with...
I'm down
with the mission,
but I'm not fornicating
with the Jababian.
That's not what
I asked you to do.
So how long
you here for, buddy?
Vungus go home tomorrow.
Tomorrow?
We better make it
a good one, huh?
I came to talk, H.
We need to speak.
Talky, shmalky.
I want to see you dance.
Come on. Come on, I know,
I know this is your jam.
Get out here. M, come on.
Oh, no, I'm just gonna...
I like to butt-dance.
Hey, I need to talk
to you about something.
If it's about
that night in Beirut,
I deleted the photos.
Promise.
No, not Beirut.
Just...
- H?
- Yeah?
- Twelve o'clock.
- You're damn right
it is. Night is young.
Whoo-hoo!
Listen to me, H.
This is serious.
You're the only one
that Vungus can trust.
Well, feeling's mutual.
What happened to you?
Nothing.
What happened to you?
Why are you so
serious?
- Relax. Ow! Yeah.
- H.
You all right, buddy?
What's wrong?
You don't look so good.
- You okay?
- Vungus not feel so good.
Vodka cranberry
sure pack a punch.
Let's get his car
and get him out of here.
- Yeah. Yup.
- All right.
Okay.
Get you off to bed.
Let's get you in here.
All right.
There you are, buddy.
In you go.
Watch your head. Okay.
All right.
Now, sleep it off,
okay?
I'll speak to you in
the morning. Hydrate.
Whoo!
- Shouldn't we call it in?
- Oh, God, no.
The paperwork
is a nightmare.
But Vungus
didn't look too good.
He didn't look
too good before, but.
Trust me,
I've seen him way worse.
This one time
in Istanbul...
Help me.
- MIB. Freeze!
- On the ground.
- Hands up.
- Palms down.
- Palms down.
- Hands up.
Which do you want to go with?
I'm fine with either.
We've to come up with something
consistent. You want palms down?
If you don't mind.
- Palms down.
- Palms down.
Good.
What the...?
That is not good.
Run!
M!
They are coming!
Petrol cap. Go.
We need more firepower.
Side-view mirror.
What do you want me to do,
throw it at them?
Oh, wow.
I haven't seen that before.
I don't think
this is doing anything.
Come on.
Exhaust pipe. Go!
Come on!
Now this is
more like it.
Right.
Hurry!
Go to Vungus.
I'll cover you.
H! A little help here!
No. Not H.
He has changed.
I could feel it.
I have to know...
...if I can trust you.
Now I'm pissed off.
Hide this.
Something is wrong
in Men in Black.
What? Vungus, what is this?
It's the only thing
that can protect you.
Come on!
Where's your fancy
dance moves now?
What the...?
Keep your eyes on.
It's not safe.
Eyes on! Eyes on!
Two targets!
How is he?
He's gone.
Guys,
back up a little bit, all right?
Oy!
Outdone yourself here, mate.
- Well done. Well done.
- Thank you.
Fill me in.
What happened, huh?
We were attacked,
clearly, C.
- Right.
- By I don't know what.
The suspects, they did this
with their bare hands.
They turned solid
into liquid,
- then back again.
- What?
- Why's she here?
- She...
- She is
- She is
walking you
through the crime scene.
No, no. She is
a probationary agent,
so she is not here
at all, okay?
I think you'll find
that she clearly is here
because I can see her.
- Backing you up.
- Thank you.
A figure of speech,
but fine.
You are in
so much trouble,
oh, my God. You had one job.
You had one very simple job:
to take some lizard slimeball
out for a few drinks.
- That was it.
- Not a "lizard slimeball."
- A friend of mine.
- Oh, no.
- Yeah. Sorry about that.
- Mm.
He was
a reptilian slimeball,
now dead because of you.
Who was with him when he died?
- I was.
- Who...?
Okay, good.
And did he say anything
that might explain why
he was killed?
Anything at all?
Come on.
No. Not a thing.
- So just to recap...
- No point.
A high-ranking member
of the Jababian royal family
dies on your watch,
murdered by assailants
that you can't identify,
for reasons that you
cannot begin to fathom.
- Is that about right?
- I switched off
the moment you started
talking. I don't know.
Why don't you bugger off.
Okay, mate. Thank you.
- Yeah.
- I'll piss off,
- to the office.
- Where you belong.
To have a word
with High T,
who will not save you
this time.
We'll be fine. Okay?
Don't worry.
This is... We'll be fine.
Yeah?
Yes. Yes. Understood.
Yeah... Indeed.
Yes.
Yes. Yes.
Thank you.
Let me assure you,
we will deal with this
in the strongest
possible terms.
The Jababians
want your heads.
Quite literally. Both heads,
sent by diplomatic pouch.
Okay, um, ahem...
Morning, sir.
I have the forensics report
that you asked for.
Thank you.
Well, this is troubling.
- Very troubling.
- Mm-hm.
These are our suspects.
A species called Dyadnum.
From a binary star system
in the constellation Draco.
Draco, that's
Hive territory.
The entire sector
fell years ago.
The Dyads' DNA...
- are riddled with Hive mutations.
- Mm-hm.
As we all know, the Hive
doesn't just destroy their enemies,
they subsume them.
Take them over from within.
Whoever these two were,
they're part of the Hive now.
Yes, but why would the Hive
send them all this way
to kill a Jababian royal?
You knew Vungus
better than anyone.
Did he indicate
why he was here?
Did he want something
from us?
No, he seemed
pretty normal, happy.
Sir. This whole thing
is a fiasco. It's a farrago.
And a failure
of this magnitude
requires
immediate invokement of...
Article 13.
Don't be a dick.
Who says "farrago"?
Uh, what is Article 13?
Immediate termination,
followed by neuralyzation.
- Wait a second.
- Wait.
- No.
- Is that your answer
- to everything?
- Put that away!
- Glasses off.
- Sir, you can't.
Give me one good reason
why not.
Um, because it's...
what we were talking about.
Um...
- Because...
- Because...
if you erase us,
you will never know the truth.
- The truth.
- They're stalling.
- Say the word. I'll do it.
- Put it away.
M, go ahead.
Explain yourself.
Well, sir...
if you think about it,
really think about it...
Vungus...
how many people really knew
that he was here?
The people in this room.
And perhaps a dozen
high-level agents.
If those were the only people
that knew where Vungus would be,
and we assume
that Vungus didn't leak
his own location
to the killers,
doesn't that mean
that it was someone...
inside MIB?
A mole, sir,
inside these very walls.
Sir, they're making this up
as they go along.
"A mole"? In the history
of the company,
- there's never been a leak.
- Something a mole would say.
- Don't be absurd.
- Classic mole talk.
Sounds like Mole 101.
Enough.
If we've been compromised,
it puts every citizen
on this planet,
both human and alien,
at risk.
- C. Track down these killers.
- Sir.
Find the killers,
we find the mole.
- Will do, sir.
- Dismissed.
M, it appears
you're as sharp as advertised.
Work the case with C.
Get Weapons Department
started on something
that can neutralize
these Dyads.
Yes, sir.
Sharp indeed she is, sir.
I assume you'll want me
overseeing the case? Sort of...
I'm finished covering
for you, H.
You need me on this case, sir.
I've dealt with the Hive before.
With nothing but my wits
and my Series 7...
No. He dealt
with the Hive before.
And I don't know
where the hell he has gone!
I actually used to think
you could lead this place.
I was wrong about you.
We're done here.
That's an order.
Look, you weren't wrong
about me, sir.
You saw something in me once.
It's still there.
And I apologize
for letting you down.
Give me another chance and
I'll fix this. I promise you.
I don't think
it's just a blade.
Looks like it carries
some poison.
I know what
you're talking about. Wait.
Sorry, mate.
High T wants me
- to run point on this one.
- What? I don't believe you.
I don't like
it any better than you,
but he kept going on
about relying on me,
needing our top agent,
that sort of thing.
I don't make the rules.
Take it up with him.
M, he's keen for you
to shadow me.
"Learn from the best,"
he said.
Little on-the-job training,
if you will.
Hmm? Yeah?
Come on.
- Are you going or you staying?
- Yeah, I'll go.
- Well...
- Okay.
- Come on.
- H?
Thanks
for that.
I'm sick of you.
Okay.
- What's the actual truth?
- You tell me.
For someone who hates lying,
that was incredible.
- I wasn't...
- It was electric up there.
The way we played off
each other, back and forth.
- I was riffing.
- A mole inside the MIB.
It's genius.
I wish I thought of it.
I discovered
a possible truth.
I mean, think about it.
It would explain a lot.
What have you got
so far?
I was about to run
a molecular deconstruction
on the substance and
cross-reference with all toxins.
- Good idea.
- Just a little science.
I wouldn't do that.
Whoo!
I know what that is.
That killed
a 300-pound Jababian,
so I wouldn't get
recreational with it.
Zephos, pure grade. The wrong
amount will kill you instantly.
Right amount will
keep you dancing shirtless
on a nightclub in Monaco
for 17 hours.
So much information.
Always so much information.
It's what I've heard. There's
only one place in the world
where they know how to mix it.
Let's go.
You coming?
World's not gonna save itself.
Are you saying that you need me
to save the world?
Uh-huh.
Thought so.
Oh, wow.
You'll see that a lot
around here.
It's a
Cromulian tag.
In their galaxy, a symbol
for hope or annihilation.
There's still some debate
around what exactly.
Actually,
it's harmony.
But on Earth, it means we're
entering an MIB safe haven.
- How do you know?
- It's in the handbook.
Don't believe
everything you read.
- That is my job.
- And my job is what?
Hang out here and shut up?
Shut up. That's your job.
Well, look who it is. Nasr.
You know the rules:
no visible alien tech
anywhere on the street.
Cover the bike up
before I have to give you
a ticket.
H? It is really you?
Of course it's me.
Who else could it be?
- Hey, Bassam.
- Hi, H.
Nasr said you were dead.
What? I... I never said that.
You did. He's lying.
Aah! Hey! Get...
- That's...
- And why would I be dead?
Bassam misunderstood.
We heard that you and Riza
had split up.
Oh, Riza. Who's that?
It's not important.
Mm. Human or...?
- Doesn't matter.
- I'm just curious
how it works
between species, so...
Very unimportant.
Old friend of mine, so...
Who runs the biggest criminal
syndicate in the galaxy.
Who is a very successful
businesswoman.
I love a businesswoman.
- Why are we talking about this?
- Sad. You made a lovely couple.
Thank you.
These things happen.
You said, "That psycho's
gonna slit his throat."
Oh, hmm.
Excuse us for one moment.
Your words, not mine.
Don't you...
You dated this person? Seems
like a conflict of interest.
Conflict of interest for you
to know my private life.
Yeah, sure.
I'd prefer not to.
Hey, hey,
that's enough. Listen.
Stop beating
the hell out of him.
- Yeah.
- Keep this thing covered up.
- Absolutely. Will do.
- Thank you.
Won't happen again.
Nice to meet you both.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- What?
- Pulled this
from the surveillance
camera outside the club.
Standing there,
making me feel uncomfortable.
Sorry
about that.
Have you shown this to T?
You said everything goes
through you.
Yes, everything does go
through me. Good.
I'll show him. Go on.
Goodness me.
Oh, boy.
Here comes trouble.
I like trouble.
You thinking
what I'm thinking?
Call Riza.
Ah, here. This is it.
Looks like
a couple days' worth.
No one's been out
to collect.
Hello?
One more step and I'll liquefy
your bangs, pretty boy.
- Easy, easy.
- Okay.
- We don't want any trouble.
- Do not move.
Hey, look at you.
What do we call you, sport?
"Sport" is not
what you call me.
What is it?
- "It"? He.
- Sorry.
Why would you call me
anything?
Pawns don't have names.
We're pawns.
Uh, okay.
"Pawny," then.
What happened here?
Oh, we had the best party.
Kanye showed up
and dropped a whole new album.
It was some of his best work.
Look around!
We got our asses kicked!
Aah! My queen!
Oh, she's gone.
I'll never serve another.
I swear it.
I'll plunge my dagger
into my own body, like this,
through my vital organs,
and then leave it
until the dark takes me.
Hey, you're not gonna actually
go through with this, are you?
Listen. A queen's pawn
without a queen is just a pawn.
A nothing.
I must end my own life
in the most painful way
possible.
Don't stop me.
Chance of survival: zero.
- Think we should stop him?
- Gonna do it.
Wanna see
if he goes through with it.
- Sorry, what did you say?
- Hmm? Nothing at all.
Know what?
I did say something.
- You did?
- Yeah. He's a witness.
Excuse me.
You know, I don't think
that she would want you to,
you know, go through with it,
honestly.
Who are you to know what
a queen would or wouldn't want?
Are you a queen?
Well, to the extent
that all women are, yes,
but, no, no,
I'm not a queen.
You know what she is,
though, is an agent.
- "Agent"?
- Mm-hm.
- Is that a title?
- It is a title.
A title of great eminence
and stature.
M here is an agent.
An agent without a pawn,
if you see my meaning.
I never thought of this,
but maybe the best way
to honor the dead
- is to go on living.
- Yes.
I pledge loyalty eternal to you,
Agent M.
No, no, no. I'm not
interested in a subject.
Too late. It's done.
I already pledged the loyalty.
Wish you'd said
"no, no, no" before.
Congratulations.
And if you should die
before I,
I promise
to end my own life...
"In the most painful way
possible."
Yeah. Ha. I don't like you.
Let's go.
My lady?
Come on.
We'll have a fun time.
- Fine.
- Yes!
H, there's something
I've been meaning to tell you.
- I've been wanting to tell you...
- Yeah?
- ...about it. Where is it?
- You mean this?
- You stole it from me?
- Stole it from you?
I recovered evidence
you stole from a crime scene.
Vungus told me to hide it and
I couldn't trust anyone.
You're telling me
you listened to Vungus,
you trusted Vungus instead of
your partner, a senior agent?
- Huh?
- In a word, yes.
H, speaking of agents...
Come on.
Why would they be here?
There's either an award show
we're not aware of
or we're in deep shit.
Thank you.
I need you to close every street,
archway and sewer now.
Come in closer
on that body cam there.
- A bit more.
- Could someone
please explain to me
what the hell is going on?
Sir, slightly
sensitive subject.
Thought it best
to keep it quiet.
- A bit further in, please.
- C, a word.
Absolutely. No one leaves
the medina, all right?
This...
This is nonsense.
Despite
your personal feelings,
H is one of the best agents
ever to wear this suit.
No, he was one of the best
agents to wear this suit.
He hasn't been the same
since the Hive. Look. Look.
My sources say
that Vungus stole it
from the Jababian War Department
Advanced Research Division
and brought it here.
And you kept this from me?
For how long?
- Explain yourself.
- Oh, explain myself?
Sir, whatever that thing is,
M and H had it in your office,
and you let them go, sir.
With all due respect,
you let them go.
- Carry on.
- Yes, sir.
- And, C.
- Sir?
Bring them
straight to me.
Whatever that thing is,
Vungus died to protect it.
He gave it to me
so it wouldn't go to them.
- Yes, sir.
- H, listen to me.
This isn't my operation.
Get out of there.
Get safe. Then report.
M may be right.
You, I want sitreps
every 10 minutes.
There could be
a mole in the Men in Black.
All right. Take this.
I'll draw them away.
I'll meet you
at the main square in 20.
Go.
Hey, guys,
what are the odds?
Nasr!
I need to borrow your bike.
As long as it is
to borrow, not steal.
Yes. Of course. Quick.
- Come on.
- Bassam!
Ooh!
- Okay, accelerator, brake.
- Water.
- Very hot out there.
- That's very thoughtful of you.
This is pretty
straightforward?
Yes. Very
straightforward, indeed.
Just like riding a bike.
Okay, cool.
Sorry.
Well, this is nothing
like riding a bike at all.
Quick, jump on!
Hold on tight.
Oh, shit!
Hold on, Pawny!
Hold on!
Wait for me!
Thanks!
Ha! I can't believe
that actually worked.
- Hey, H?
- Yeah?
Oh, right. Glasses.
Hi, everyone. If you could all
look right here.
Just drive.
Move! Go!
Oh, boy.
What do you think? Red button?
I think it's hyperdrive.
No, I think
hyperdrive is blue.
Sometimes you have to
trust your gut.
My gut, not yours!
Somebody press something!
Whoo-hoo!
Lost the tail.
What'd I tell you, huh?
Hyperdrive.
- Yeah, yeah. Okay.
- Trust your gut. Trust your gut.
Oh, God, I hate sand.
The red button was awesome!
Let's press the red button
again.
Wow.
Hey, what's it doing?
Moving.
Oh.
What...?
What is that thing?
See the core?
How it keeps emitting convective energy
across the interior of
the photosphere?
Yeah, yeah.
No, I see all of it.
I see the...
The photosphere bit.
Okay, yeah. Shh.
Those are thermonuclear
explosions.
Wait, what? What does that mean?
Like a bomb or something?
I think what we're looking at
is a super compressed star.
And by the color
temperature,
I'd say it's a blue giant.
Let's press the button.
Let's see what this does.
Are you suggesting we try
a weaponized star for fun?
Mm-hm. Well,
for science and fun.
The two aren't
mutually exclusive. Okay.
I know.
Yeah, there is
no better place.
They don't call it
the Empty Quarter for nothing.
That's why I made
the suggestion. Go.
Uh, at just .001?
What do you think?
Yeah. Just start off slow.
- Press the button.
- Okay.
Mm. Maybe ratchet it up
a few notches,
a little higher...
Whoa!
That was the low setting?
Uh, do we think anyone's gonna
notice that wasn't there before?
Sir, they got away.
I believe
the appropriate phrase is...
you lost them.
Well,
I put it to you, sir...
- ...that they had help.
- Probably.
But I know H. Whatever
he's doing, there's a reason.
Why do you
keep protecting him?
Huh? What is it
going to take?
I am protecting
this institution.
From what? From me?
Are you questioning
my loyalty, sir?
At the very least,
your judgment.
Is there anything else,
Agent C?
- No, sir.
- Good.
Then would you
kindly leave?
Vungus knew how powerful
that thing was, right?
He knew it could destroy worlds,
and he gave it to you.
I don't understand.
Someone he only just met.
Why would he do that?
- I don't know.
- Hmm?
Maybe he trusted me.
I'm not gonna doubt
your general trustworthiness,
but, I mean, I sang
at Vungus' mother's funeral.
Quite beautifully,
I might add.
We knew everything
about one another.
I mean, hey, I'm pretty sure
he trusted me. Heh.
Okay, H,
if you must know...
he said that you'd changed.
I'm getting sick of hearing
this "you've changed" crap.
I'm the same person
I was years ago.
You've always been
this way?
What way?
Uh, vaguely inept.
Arrogant. Reckless.
- Did I miss anything?
- Heh. Okay, yeah. Hey, look.
Arrogant and reckless.
That's nice.
Maybe I am a few
of those things occasionally,
but my job is saving the planet,
and that's what I do.
I do a good job at it.
While that's still happening,
the rules are:
there are no rules.
- Well, that's a rule.
- Mm-hm.
Argh. Damn it.
All right, nobody move!
- Drop it, hairball!
- Nobody move.
- Bassam. How'd you get here?
- Feeling hydrated, H?
Never had a bath before.
- Lost 2 pounds in dirt alone.
- God, we drank from that.
Oh, God, I thought
it tasted like a living beard.
Okay, um...
Bassam, listen,
all right, mate?
Uh, let's be sensible.
I don't think you know
what you're dealing with, so...
Oh, no, I definitely do.
Which is why she's gonna pay
so much for it.
- No, wait. Wait, wait!
- No, no, no!
Have a nice life, bozos!
Great job, H.
Pawny, can you ask her
to pass me the torque wrench?
She has a name and a title,
and you know that.
My lady, the jackass wants
a torque wrench.
Pawny, will you tell him
the sooner he restores power
to my drive console,
the sooner I can figure out
- how to program it?
- My lady says
you're a cloth-brained ass-clown
whose gullible idiocy
has threatened the very
existence of the planet.
You know what, she didn't
say that. All right?
You worst piece
on the chess board.
- She said that.
- Didn't say any of it.
Yeah, but I was thinking it.
Actually, every single word.
You make a really good point.
Thank you.
If you'll tell your lady
she now has power.
The jackass says, my lady,
that you have power.
- Can you thank him?
- Really?
But in a cold,
kind of polite way.
You can even put a glare
on it.
Just play around with it.
I trust you.
My lady says thank you.
I know where the weapon's going
and how to get it back.
- My lady?
- I got this one. I'm listening.
Bassam has only one
real buyer:
Riza Stavros.
Riza? The Riza
that you went out with?
The intergalactic,
alien arms-dealer Riza?
I'm gonna hop back in
for a second.
You dated Riza Stavros,
the Merchant of Death?
The Mother of Murder?
- She's pretty hot.
- Okay, I didn't know
she was an arms dealer
when we met.
And I was distracted
by her feminine wiles
and her
intoxicating beauty.
And besides, we weren't
interested in labels.
We were interested
in our hearts.
If having a big, old heart
is a crime, then shoot me.
Not yet.
You'll let me know, though,
right?
But really?
Your "big, old heart"?
- What?
- It's just...
Well, it...?
It's funny, is it? Hmm?
"My big, old heart."
So stupid. Who talks like that?
Ha-ha-ha. Big, old doofus.
You've never been in love,
have you?
I'm not making fun.
I'm genuinely asking.
You've never once
abandoned logic for passion?
What is this? The sequel to
The Notebook? I never saw it,
but I assume it's a lot
of this type of nonsense.
Heh. No, I haven't.
Passion is unstable,
- and logic is constant.
- Is that right?
Yeah. Physical attraction
is nothing more
than chemical reactions
in your brain.
Can't trust them.
They're not real.
Isn't the whole universe
a chemical reaction?
Pretty sure
you can trust that.
Feels pretty real.
That's actually
kind of deep.
Well, that should do it.
Power her up.
Thank you.
Pawny. Not there.
That's as
far as I could jump.
I could jump higher, but it
would've been more awkward.
Okay, enough.
Here we go.
And look at that.
- Well done.
- Mm-hm.
I know Riza. She may be
the Merchant of Death,
but she does have
one weakness.
Ready to be a hero,
little guy?
Pretty open to anything.
Good, because
we're going to Naples.
Oh, to Riza's Fortified
Fortress of For Sure Death?
Don't shoot. Don't shoot.
- Oh. I'm so sorry.
- Oh.
Can we do this another day?
I have another visitor.
- Absolutely.
- Yeah?
Thank you.
Au revoir.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Luca.
- Did you miss me?
- No.
H.
I know why you're here.
Why are you wearing
pink trousers?
So how have you been?
It's been a while, huh? That's
the tough thing about breakups,
is the friendships
you lose. Heh. Ahh.
We had some good times,
though, didn't we?
Riza and I had
good times, I guess.
You just lurked
in the background a bit.
Wonderful, isn't she?
I just love
dumb,
beautiful creatures.
Well, this is familiar,
isn't it?
So...
MIB finally
showed you the door, eh?
Showed myself out,
actually.
Oh.
Some horses are born
to roam free.
And others just get shot.
What are you doing here?
I wanted to see you.
And I brought you something.
I know
how you like special pets,
so I brought you
a peace offering.
Meow,
meow.
Bark, woof,
et cetera, et cetera.
Oh, I like it.
He is cute in an ugly
sort of way, isn't he?
The last
of his kind.
You always did know the way
to my heart, didn't you?
You always knew how to make mine
beat that little bit faster.
Not a neuralyzer in the
world could make me forget that.
I was actually looking forward
to seeing my guns tear you
to pieces, then I saw
that perfect little face
of yours, and...
I had to know.
Know what?
I want to know the truth.
- Mm-hm.
- Was this ever real?
Hmm? This?
You, me? Was it?
This'll be good.
Was it?
I knew who you were
from the start.
My job
was to gain your trust
and take you down
when the opportunity came.
That's the truth.
Gotta turn my
earpiece off for this.
God, shut up.
- What?
- No, I'm sorry.
It's what I say
to my heart...
when it's like a voice
inside my head.
Oh, I know.
I couldn't fake that.
Thank you.
It's okay.
No, but thank you for...
For giving me closure.
We all need some...
Some closure from time to time.
- Get him out of here.
- What...? Wait, no. Hey.
Wait.
I need some closure too.
- What about my feelings?
- H, here's a tip for you.
Next time you bring
a peace offering,
don't make it the same day
I come into possession
of the most powerful weapon
ever created.
This has nothing to do
with that.
I didn't know
you had a weapon.
It's a separate thing.
A coincidence.
Total coincidence. Didn't know
she had a weapon. Did you?
Take him
to the boat.
All right.
Okay, okay, okay.
Fellas,
I think that went pretty well.
Looks like we'll be seeing
a lot more of each other.
Okay.
Okay, okay, okay. Shh...
Sebastian, darling.
How would you like
to be able to destroy
entire solar systems
without leaving your home?
- Pawny?
- Yeah, I see it.
Uh...
Oh, would you look at that.
Good to go, M.
Okay, Pawny,
it's all on you now.
Okay, that kind of pressure
is not constructive.
It's very simple, darling.
Do you want it or not?
No, I only have one,
Sebastian,
and I won't have that
for long.
No, I'm gonna give you
five seconds.
Perfectly done.
Whoop.
I'm going to call you back.
Crap. Oh, crap. Oh, crap.
Look at your little legs.
You are so fast.
Why, look at you run.
You're so fast!
Wait, I'm coming.
I'm coming.
Now, you don't run away again.
Oh, hello.
Oh, and here I thought...
H worked alone.
Silly me.
Poor you.
It's been a steep
learning curve, yeah.
Oh, that? That's a snub-nosed
Karzig annihilator.
Do you know what that does
to a human body?
It boils you
from the inside out.
Cute.
Do you know what
a Pawny does
to sadistic
alien arms-dealers?
No, honey.
Tell me what a Pawny is.
I'm a Pawny,
you psycho!
Looks like
the tables have turned.
That was an incredible catch.
That felt good.
Don't worry. Don't worry.
It's all part of the plan.
Well, H, you always have been
rather delusional.
Peace offering.
Kill them.
Start with him
and make it hurt.
No! You don't have
to do this.
Put me down,
you Tarantian thug.
Wait.
Did you say "Tarantian"?
- Yes.
- Yes, my lady, he did.
They tend to be single-minded
when it comes to killing.
Brains the size
of a pistachio nut.
Okay, shh.
You're not helping.
The creature you saw was
an unlicensed Tarantian
from Andromeda II.
Tarantian?
I know a Tarantian.
I met one once.
I helped him.
Kabla nakshulin.
What?
Kabla nakshulin?
- What she said.
- How do you know that?
Because he said it to me.
Molly?
Yes.
Molly? Are you shitting me?
Really?
Who's delusional now?
It's you?
You've grown.
I mean, me too.
Give her the box.
Luca,
you can't do this.
Haven't I been good to you?
I've let you kill anyone
you wanted.
Come on.
No?
The box.
Thank you.
You changed my life,
by the way. Heh, heh.
Hey, uh, quickly.
Kabla nakshulin,
what does it mean?
It means:
"One day,
I'll kill whoever you choose
in the most gruesome way
imaginable."
Or maybe we just
keep her here for a moment
until he and I can discuss
a plan of action.
H? H, are you okay?
I'm good.
That was...
That was a rush.
Yeah,
and incredibly painful.
- Yeah.
- Pretty sure the plan
went wrong in
every conceivable way.
Yeah, well...
So, uh,
it's Molly, huh?
You're not supposed
to know that.
Well, too late.
I know it now.
Guess it's only fair
that you know mine.
- I don't wanna know.
- I'll tell you.
- Okay.
- You ready?
Horatio.
- It is not.
- It's not.
It's Henry.
Yeah, you look like
a Henry.
- Good. It's all I've got.
- I'm Steve.
Steve? I thought you said
pawns didn't have names.
We don't.
I was just feeling left out.
Oh, Steve.
Whoa...
Wha...?
That is not cool.
I don't like what
the earth is doing now.
No, no, no.
Kabla nakshulin!
It was worth a try.
We must have the
weapon, for the Hive.
No. I don't know if
you've heard,
but we are
the Men in Black.
The Men and Women
in Black.
Nice save.
If you think
we'll hand this over,
you've got
another think coming.
You don't know who
you're dealing with.
See, we protect the Earth.
Everyone and everything on it.
So you wanna do this?
You wanna get down?
Fine. Let's go.
Move, and I'll obliterate
this entire island
and everything on it.
Including us. You don't think
we should've spoken about this?
I just gave a whole speech.
Yeah, I liked the speech.
I just thought
this would be more effective.
You heard me.
Don't make me use it.
We'll do anything
to protect our world.
So will we.
Nothing in this universe
is unkillable.
With the proper voltage.
Are you both
all right?
Yes, sir.
Never better.
- Sir, how did you find us?
- Experience.
Riza again, H?
When are you
going to learn?
I knew
I could count on you.
That, in the end,
you'd pull through.
Thank you, sir.
You too, M.
Agent O had a feeling
about you, and she was right.
The universe has a way
of leading you
to where
you're supposed to be...
At the moment
you're supposed to be there.
Let's go home.
Let's keep this safe,
shall we?
Saunder,
inform the Jababian embassy,
we have the weapon.
Quite the first assignment
for a probationary agent, M.
Marrakesh,
the Empty Quarter, Naples.
Imagine what you will accomplish
when you're one of us.
- Yes, sir.
- Enjoy this moment, M.
They never last.
I don't know how you do
it, but you keep doing it.
Yeah? What's that, C?
Well, saving the world
from total destruction
twice...
in as many years.
I mean...
- what are the odds?
- What are the odds?
MIB!
Right.
- Excuse me.
- Yeah.
- Hey.
- Hey.
How's it going?
- Uh, you know.
- Cool party, huh?
- Yeah, great party.
- Something is wrong.
That's what
I was thinking.
I said to the Dyads we'd
do anything to save our world.
- They said that they would too.
- Mm-hmm.
Then they told us they needed
the weapon for the Hive.
What if we misunderstood
what that meant?
Maybe they needed the weapon
to use against the Hive
- to save their world.
- Mm-hmm.
Which could mean they were
never the Hive at all.
Uh-huh.
But the DNA, the mutations.
High T showed us that sample.
All right. Let's see.
Agent H, bring up
the Dyad forensic report.
Who has the authority
to make a case file disappear?
Come with me.
And what about Naples?
How did he know we were there?
He was doing his job.
Does his job
include tracking us?
He gave this to me as a gift.
It has a chip inside it.
We need to see the confiscated
Jababian weapon.
Not possible.
Not possible? I'm the
senior agent on the case.
Let's make it possible.
Where's the weapon?
I think he's been chasing it
the entire time.
High T is the mole.
He's gotta be.
A mole for who?
Where would he take it?
Paris.
My guess would be Paris.
I knew all along
that something was off.
I thought
he was covering for you,
but it turns out,
it was him.
He was hiding
his own tracks.
Gotta be an explanation.
M, come on.
- I'm coming with you.
- No, C.
Hey, hey. Come on, now.
This isn't about you.
I know. I agree.
Listen, if it turns out
what you're saying is true
and word gets out that T,
the most decorated agent
in MIB history,
is a traitor,
the agency will never recover.
If we stop him,
no one ever has to know.
But what if
you can't stop him? Then what?
Well, then
tell them it was me.
Tell them
I was the traitor.
Trust me,
the agency will believe you.
You.
Oh, that's right.
That happened.
That's what
I'm talking about.
I'm driving.
Uh...
That really
should be here.
Not in this country.
There should be
a big red button somewhere.
Yes!
Press the red button.
Found it.
Whoa!
H, you gotta see this.
A portal from Sector C
has been activated.
The Hive.
I'm sending you backup. Out.
You remember when I told you
we're in the lying business?
Mm-hmm.
T said that to me
when he recruited me.
He said,
"We have to lie to the world,
which means we can never lie
to each other."
I just don't believe
that he has.
But you can't always
trust your gut, H.
Sometimes things are
as they appear to be.
No, we saved the world,
for God's sakes.
Together,
with nothing but our wits
and our Series-7
De-Atomizers.
So I've heard.
- H?
- Yeah?
Mind telling me
one more time?
How'd you beat the Hive?
Uh, it was
three years ago.
High T and I
went to face the Hive
with nothing but our wits and
our Series-7 De-Atomizers. Cool?
Yes, but how'd you do it?
Wait. What are you doing?
- I'm curious. How'd you do it?
- I told you.
- You didn't, though.
- I did a few times.
Okay, High T and I went up
to face the Hive
with nothing but our wits
and our Series-7 De-Atomizers...
Am I...?
I'm repeating myself, aren't I?
- Over and over.
- Word for word.
Yeah, um... Okay,
why would I be doing that?
H, I don't think that you beat
the Hive that night.
I think you were neuralyzed.
Ah. You came to say goodbye.
And you brought the lovely M.
You can really feel
the history here.
Eiffel
discovering wormholes,
gangways to
other civilizations,
the First Alien Migration.
And we made history here too,
didn't we, H?
With just our wits
and our Series-7 De-Atomizers.
No. We didn't.
The Hive wanted the most
powerful weapon in the galaxy,
so you had Vungus bring it
to Men in Black.
You'd wait. When it came,
you'd give it to them.
My dear boy, you were always
a bright one...
but there's no stopping this.
With the weapon out of the way,
every planet will fall,
starting with this one.
Step away from the controls.
You neuralyzed me.
Made me a hero,
the guy that saved the world.
Left alive to sell the lie.
They wanted this.
You were there.
You were always
like a son to me.
H?
You were always
like a son to me.
That's not High T anymore.
You were always
like a son
to him.
Shoot it! Shoot it!
My queen!
I'm coming!
What do we do?
What do we do?
I'm gonna get it back.
I know he's still
in there somewhere.
Hey!
Hey! I know
you're in there somewhere!
It's me, H.
Remember, you wanted me
to take your place.
M!
The truth of the universe.
I want to know
how it all works.
The universe has a way
of leading you
to where you're
supposed to be.
At the moment
you're supposed to be there.
My queen!
I'm not losing another queen.
You said
I was like a son to you.
You were like
a father to me.
H.
Right time...
right place.
Pawny?
- Yeah?
- You've served your queen well.
Thank you, my lady.
It was my honor.
So is she as tough as they say?
In a word, yes.
- Well, you didn't screw up.
- No, ma'am.
Let's be honest,
there were a few bumps along the way,
- friction at the start...
- Let's not be honest.
Okay. No,
we did not screw up.
You said there may be a problem
in London, but you knew.
I hadn't trusted London branch
for some time.
I never understood
the reason why.
T lived for
this organization.
He was the very best
we had to offer. He will be...
...missed.
Welcome to the circus,
Agent M.
You are no longer
probationary.
Well, there you go.
My work here is done, I...
- You are.
- I'm sorry, what?
Probationary head
of London branch.
I'm sorry.
Probationary head?
It sounds like I got promoted
and demoted at the same time.
No. Try and cope.
Several years ago, before
all this, T mentioned to me
a young, up-and-coming
field agent who had certain
leadership qualities,
shall we say.
Was his faith in you
misplaced?
No, I just think
there are
far more experienced
agents than myself.
Yeah, there are.
But you have the full support
of our senior staff
and, by the way, Agent C.
Is that right?
- Do I take it you accept?
- Yes.
Good. I'll talk to
the bosses upstairs.
You need to clear
your London desk
and report to MIB
in New York on Monday.
New York.
Thank you, Agent O.
Congratulations,
probie.
Congratulations to you too.
You'll want to
brief your agents.
Walk with me.
So you wanted to know
how it all works.
Now you do.
And as you will no doubt
have divined, Agent M,
there's a price.
Nope.
Hey there.
What are you doing?
I told O I had to
take care of
a couple things
before I went back.
Yeah? What,
like stealing my car?
No, like driving it.
You're on the right side,
at least.
I'm a quick study.
Give me a lift
back to London?
Road trip.
Up, up, up!
Oh, God.
Did not need that.
Could you zap me with
that forgetting thing, please?
What are you doing here,
Pawny?
Get used to seeing me,
pretty boy.
- I'm your new babysitter.
- He's my new what?
- Babysitter.
- Queen's orders.
She says the chance
of your sorry ass
surviving without me:
Zero.
Okay, I did not say that...
exactly.
She said, "Slim to zero."
I rounded it down to zero
because
I feel like it's zero.
Consider it a parting gift.
Come on.
I saved the world.
You couldn't tell because
you were getting choked out.
- Do I even have a choice?
- No.
Yes! There we go. All right.
Where's that little red button?
Oh, it's right here.
Whoa!
I still don't like you.
I love that option.
This is a complicated piece
of machinery, so be careful.
Yeah, got it.
I'm gonna trust my gut.