Merry Christmas, Ted Cooper! (2025) Movie Script
Good morning, Corning.
I hope you're all having
a wonderful start to your day.
Let's take a look
at the weather.
We have a cold front from
Lake Huron heading southeast
over Buffalo, bringing
Arctic temperatures.
And more importantly,
a chance for me to finally
break out that parka I got
on Black Friday.
Until then, expect highs
in the mid to low 40s.
Well, thank you Ted.
So, any exciting plans
for the holiday?
I'm glad that you asked,
slash, read that
off the teleprompter, Ken.
I'll be heading two hours north
to my hometown of Lackawanna,
where my older sister
is planning
the Gingerbread Invitational.
What's the Gingerbread
Invitational, Ted?
Thanks for asking, Ken.
It is an event that gathers
the best
gingerbread bakers in the state
to help raise money
to build a children's wing
in the local hospital.
So, all week, I will be
delivering heartfelt
and shameless promos encouraging
everyone in the area
to come out and help support
a great cause.
Thank you, Ted.
Now, let's get real
for a minute.
You have a legendary
run of bad luck
at Christmas over the years.
Oh, I think legendary
is overblown,
and we don't need to get
into it, Ken.
Well, didn't you almost
burn your house down last year?
Indeed I did, Ken.
Grease fires are no joke.
No, they are not.
And the year before that,
I believe you got attacked
by a possum
who was living in
your Christmas tree.
Yes, yes, indeed I was.
But in all fairness,
I was the one
who chopped down his house,
put it on the roof of my car,
and drove it down
the highway, so...
Who really got
the worse end of that deal?
And... and didn't you,
the year before that,
get a disease so rare
that they actually
named it after you?
Yes, yes I did.
Symptoms include undeniable
charisma and effortless charm.
Hmm.
All kidding aside, if you
suspect you have Ted Cooperitis,
seek immediate
medical attention.
Well, you know what, Ted?
I'm not sure
that I would share your
enthusiasm for the holidays.
Oh, boy, you are
such a Grinch, Ken.
What's not to love?
Christmas is a time of coming
together and celebrating.
It just brings out
the best in everyone.
And sure, I have had a few...
tricky, maybe problematic,
potentially horrendous
Christmases in a row.
But that luck has to change
eventually.
So, why not this year?
Well, I wouldn't bet
the farm on it, Ted.
And speaking of farms,
coming up...
an unlikely friendship
between a horse and a cat
that you have to see to believe.
And we're clear.
Love the new hair, Ken.
If I didn't know any better,
I'd think it was your own.
It is my own.
Hey... Ted!
Ted!
Hey, thanks again for letting me
promote the Invitational, Jerry.
Whoa, I should be thanking you.
Not a lot of people watching
weather reports on TV
when they get weather
on their phone.
Yeah, I like to think they care
about hearing their weather
from a trained professional.
Oh, Teddy boy,
they care about you.
Yeah?
Is that why you
took a shot on me?
You know what?
It doesn't matter.
The fact is, you did...
when no one else would.
And I appreciate you for it.
Well, my intentions weren't
as pure as they might seem.
Oh?
Viewers also like tuning in
around Christmas to see
what could go terribly wrong.
Yeah, yeah.
I still maintain that
'Santa does the weather'
would have been a great segment
had that chimney been
a little wider.
Mmhmm. Mmhmm.
Hey, did WDTB
give you a call yet?
Yeah. Actually they
called this morning.
So, did you give 'em an answer?
No.
No?
Oh. It's a lot to think about.
I mean they're the state's
biggest network
outside the city.
No, I'm happy here.
You guys are like family.
Hey, hey. What's going on here?
Flip that back over.
What is this?
Everyone's taking bets on
what's gonna happen
to you this Christmas.
What?
This is dark, guys.
Come on! Impaled by
a reindeer antler?
What? Who took that bet?
Janice?
Ken gave me 500 to one.
I couldn't pass up
those sweet, sweet odds.
Also, guys, seriously,
why is me kissing
a beautiful woman
less likely than getting
impaled by a reindeer?
51 people are rooting
for me to choke on a chunk of fruitcake.
Joke's on you clowns.
I don't like fruitcake.
Also, not funny to root
for me going to jail.
I would do horribly in jail.
You know what, none
of this matters anyways.
Because this year?
This is the year that old
Ted Cooper's Christmas bad luck
finally turns around.
Losing a lot of money, folks.
You smell great.
I know.
What?
Oh...
Baby brother!
Hey!
Oh...
Hi!
I have been waiting
for half an hour.
Can we go?
Absolutely. Where are
we going?
Going to sleep.
Going home.
Not in that order.
What? Kate, no.
That's boring.
I just got into town.
Let's go have a drink.
- Ted...
- Kate.
Kate...
Fine... we can have one drink.
A small one.
Maybe a festive shot.
Shots. I love where
your head's at.
- Shot!
- So many shots.
Singular.
Where is my tag?
There are fresh towels and
a brand new toothbrush upstairs,
because I know you always
forget... everything.
You know me so well.
Okay, your suitcase
is on my table.
Just give me a second.
Something's not right.
Yikes.
I must've had the same
kind of suitcase
as that girl on the bus.
Should I be worried about
you covering the fundraiser
with everything that happens
to you every Christmas?
What? No. This...
this isn't a setback.
This is an opportunity
to try out some new looks.
I mean... oof!
Come on. Sugar? What?
- These might actually fit.
- Wow.
Good morning.
Hey.
Wow, that is a very
pink sweater.
That girl had good taste, right?
Mm-hmm.
What are you doing up?
I am making us breakfast.
Since when do you
make us breakfast?
You made me breakfast
my entire childhood.
The literal least
I can do is make you
the occasional omelet.
Aww.
Uh, you're gonna go
shopping today, right?
Because your first promo
is tonight, and, um...
I'm not sure that, uh,
that's the vibe.
I am not going anywhere
until you try that omelet.
Okay.
- Mmm!
- Eh?
Fluffy and delicious.
Yeah.
The secret ingredient is love.
Hey, I couldn't help
but notice the alarming lack
of Christmas lights
on the house.
Yeah, I've been really busy.
Really?
That's strange...
you haven't mentioned that...
in the last three minutes.
You're wearing a pink
cropped sweater.
Yeah.
Stay... good box.
No!
Stay.
Stay.
There you go.
Hi, Ted.
This is Max at WDTB,
checking in on our job offer.
Give us a call, and no rush.
Merry Christmas.
Ooh-ahh!
Unstoppable.
Oh, no.
How you holding up?
I'm fine.
You were unconscious.
It's called a cat nap, Kate.
I asked you what two plus
two was, and you said 22.
And I've never
been great at math.
You have your Master's in
Atmospheric Sciences, Ted.
Put the ice back on.
Ted?
Ms. Mittens?
What happened to you?
A box of Christmas lights.
- Ah...
- You?
Hot cookie sheet.
Oof!
Uh, are you still
teaching science?
Retired last year.
Wow.
Congratulations, Ms. Mittens.
Oh, please, call me Ruth.
It's great to see you, Ruth.
I'm back every Christmas.
How have we never
run into each other?
Oh, I usually do the holidays
in Florida, but not this year.
Well, Florida's loss is my gain.
I always knew you'd do
well for yourself, Ted.
And people send me
your clips all the time.
- They do?
- Sure.
Especially the one where
you got stuck in the chimney
at Christmas.
- Mm-hmm.
- Hilarious.
Yeah. Well, I am glad
I could entertain you.
It's good to see you, Ted.
You too.
Uh, any chance you'd be
interested in grabbing a coffee
with your former favorite
student sometime this week?
Oh, why? Is she here?
Still got it.
- Ms. Mittens?
- Amazing, thank you.
- Take care.
- Yeah.
Ted, they're ready.
Oh, great.
- Good luck.
- Here's your ice pack, thanks.
Okay, next time, let's just
make sure that we...
check the expiration date
on the eggnog.
Merry Christmas.
How many cups
have you had today?
Mmm. Too many to count.
Go home, Hope.
We're under-staffed.
And you're pulling
a 12-hour shift.
I don't need a tired doctor.
Oh, every doctor is tired.
Come on.
Look, I can pick up the slack.
I once treated
90 patients here in a day.
And you have never
let us forget that.
You know what I'm gonna
do when I get home?
Hm?
A little bit of
online Christmas shopping.
Glass of red wine.
Ooh, a Chris Hemsworth movie.
Hmm.
Do you know what you're
gonna do when you get off work?
Yeah, I'm gonna pray
that my best friend
stops giving me lectures.
Mmm, no. You are definitely
gonna be trying to pick up
more shifts here.
Okay, well...
Given the year that I've had,
I wanna stay busy.
I get that, I get that.
But you are no good
to anybody if you burn out.
So, come over for
a movie tonight.
Which Chris Hemsworth
movie is it?
Does it matter?
- No.
- No, it does not.
Oh... wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
Guess who's here.
Who?
Ted Cooper.
Coop?
From high school?
I think so.
We had his insurance on file.
Oh, I didn't know
he lived around here.
I don't think he does.
I think he's back for Christmas.
He's a weatherman
over in Corning.
- Hmm. Well, good for him.
- Yeah.
He was always so sweet,
you know, in like a...
nerdy kinda way.
That might be because he, uh,
had a crush on you.
Okay. Please.
You may not have noticed,
but he fell hard for you
back in the day.
And apparently something
fell hard on his head.
So, have fun.
- Ah...
- You're welcome.
Enjoy.
Thank you.
Hey, Coop.
Hope.
Wow. Hi. I...
I didn't know you were
back in town.
Yeah, I moved back
late last year.
You look different.
You look the same.
Hmm.
Well, what brings you in?
Box of Christmas lights
to the dome.
Oh. Anything broken?
Mmm. Probably not.
I have a hard head.
I meant the box of lights.
Right.
So, I hear you're back in town
for Christmas with your sister.
You've been asking
around about me, Hope?
Sydney told me.
Ah, Sydney. Yeah.
You know, she gave me stitches
a few Christmases ago.
She did?
I had an unfortunate incident
involving a porcelain
nativity scene.
Ooh.
Let's just say now there are
only two wise men in Bethlehem.
Which one broke?
Gold.
Hmm. Poor baby Jesus.
You know, stuck with
frankincense and myrrh.
I don't even know what myrrh is.
No one does.
I'm just gonna have a look here.
Any headaches? Dizziness?
No.
No? Look straight ahead.
Hmm.
I never knew you had blue eyes.
Well...
No lacerations.
No concussion.
I think you just
had your bell rung.
Feels appropriate to have
my bell rung at Christmas.
You know what else?
You look good in pink.
Hey. Thanks.
I got it from a college
girl's suitcase.
Hmm.
Nope. That sounded bad.
I brought a college girl's
clothes home with me.
That sounded worse.
You know what?
Let's just...
Let's just chalk it up
to the head injury.
I had it on before
the head injury.
Oh, well, let's keep
that between us.
Little doctor-patient...
confidentiality.
Probably a good idea.
Well, I hope you enjoy
your vacation
while you're here, Coop.
Thanks, but it's actually...
it's not just a vacation.
I'm here doing promos for
the Gingerbread Invitational.
It's the, uh, fundraiser for...
well, actually, this...
I know.
I... work here.
Right. Yeah, obviously,
you know what that is.
Oh!
Do you give lollipops
to all your patients?
Mmm... only the really brave on.
I was really brave, wasn't I?
Mm-hmm.
We'll see you around, Coop.
Bye, Hope.
I assume you heard all of that?
How dare you assume that
I was eavesdropping on that
unbelievably cute exchange?
Come on.
Kate.
- Kate.
- Hmm?
What'd the doctor say?
Things are looking up, baby.
Ask for Doctor Newbury.
She's got lollipops.
And why didn't you tell me
Hope Newbury worked here?
Because I didn't wanna spend
our phone calls listening to you
gush about your
high school crush.
I didn't have a crush on her.
She said you didn't
have a concussion?
Said I was fine.
Maybe we need a second opinion.
Mmm.
Ted!
Is that Ms. Mittens?
Call her Ruth.
No, I'm not gonna call her Ruth.
She was our teacher.
Hi, Ms. Mittens!
Hi.
Okay, we gotta go.
I gotta go to work.
What if she needs my help?
She doesn't need your help, Ted.
Ted! I need your help.
Ah...
Fine.
But please do not show up
in this for the promo tonight.
Okay. Don't worry.
I'll be there.
I'm gonna look great. Go.
Bye, Ms. Mittens.
Hey, Ruth. How's the hand?
Well, I won't be
juggling anytime soon.
Well, that's a real shame.
What can I do for you?
I was supposed to get
a tree and bring it home.
But now with this...
Say no more.
I would be honored.
You are a prince.
Would you like me to drive?
I'm hurt, Ted. I'm not blind.
Duly noted.
So, you're looking for
a bigger tree, you say?
Well, I've collected a lot of
ornaments in the past 72 years.
How are you collecting ornaments
two decades
before you were born?
That is disgustingly
shameless flattery,
and I so appreciate it.
So...
Hope Newbury, huh?
Hope Newbury.
Blast from the past.
As I recall, you had
quite the crush on her
back in the day.
Why does everyone
keep saying that?
We have eyes, ears.
Ah... we barely even
knew each other.
And besides, she was
way outta my league.
Obviously.
You didn't need to agree
with me so quickly.
You should ask her out
while you're in town.
Ruth Mittens, are you
giving me dating advice?
Oh, hello, big boy.
Hmm. That's a good one.
Yeah.
Do you think you could
find someone who works here
who could help us?
Yeah. Uh...
What about him?
Excuse me.
Afternoon, ma'am.
Uh, my mother is ma'am.
You can call me Ruth.
Actually, you can call me
any time you like.
- Easy, Mittens.
- Mm-hmm.
Uh, my friend here
would like this tree.
You mind helping us cut it down?
It'd be my pleasure.
Maybe you could
help us carry it too.
Any plans while you're in town?
Well, I'm doing promos for
the Gingerbread Invitational.
Which you should come to.
And my sister's having
a Christmas costume party,
which you should
definitely come to.
Oh, a costume party.
Yeah, everyone's dressing up
as their favorite
- Christmas characters.
- I'm in.
Other than that, not much. Why?
Well, I've got this
walking group
with a group of friends of mine.
Do you all wear
matching tracksuits?
Well, it wouldn't be
a walking group without
matching tracksuits.
Do you wanna join?
Absolutely.
Are we lost?
What?
I was following you.
Oh.
Where's that
handsome lumberjack?
Hello?
- Oh.
- Are you guys lost?
Yeah. Afraid so.
Follow me.
Oof!
Ulgh!
You know, there are easier ways
of trying to hang out with me
than injuring yourself.
Are there?
Well, now I feel silly.
What'd you do?
Christmas tree
poked me in the eye.
Every Christmas, Hope,
it's something.
Or multiple somethings.
A whole army of somethings.
Mm-hmm. You must really
hate Christmas.
Are you kidding?
I love Christmas.
Oh.
Maybe I was wrong
about the concussion.
Follow me.
So, how's it been
being back home?
Well, I never intended on
coming back to Lackawanna,
but I do love this hospital.
And if we can raise
enough money for the new
children's wing, I'd love to be
head of pediatrics one day.
Wow. They'd be lucky
to have you.
Lightly scratched.
But I'd like you
to give it a rest, so...
Let's wear an eye patch until
tomorrow morning, if that works.
You can pick one up
at the pharmacy.
Oof!
I gotta be on the air
in less than an hour.
Any chance you guys
have one around here?
Uh...
So, be sure to head on
down to Lackawanna for
the Gingerbread Invitational
and help raise money
for a great cause.
Or shall I say, a great Claus.
We miss you here in Corning,
Ted.
You sure are
a sight for sore eyes.
Good one, Ken.
Yeah, I just noticed your little
fashion accessory there.
Very observant.
Yes, I had my eye poked in a
Christmas tree related accident.
Who here had eye poke in
Christmas related accident?
Oh!
Well, shiver me timbers.
That's unfortunate, Ted.
Sounds like your Christmas
luck hasn't changed.
Lazy pirate humor, Ken.
And it's still plenty
of time for this to be
the best Christmas ever.
In fact, it very well could
be if everyone joins me
at the Gingerbread Invitational.
Hope to see you all there.
Well, as much as
you can anyways.
Right.
So, when making your
holiday plans,
please don't turn a blind eye
to the Lackawanna
Gingerbread Invitational.
And we're clear.
Right.
Thanks.
So, I kinda feel like
the eye patch really helped
elevate the holiday vibes.
I love you, I love you,
you're my brother.
I love you. I love you.
I love you.
It can only get better.
Mornin'.
Mornin'.
I never pegged you
for a Kappa girl.
Real funny.
Have you seen
the latest headlines, matey?
That's good wordplay.
What?
I didn't have a choice, Kate,
the doctor said
I had to wear the eye patch
till this morning.
Which doctor?
Doctor Newbury.
Oh.
You saw Hope again, huh?
- That's very interesting.
- Can I borrow your car?
'Cause I'd love to go get some
clothes so I don't have
to spend the entire holiday
dressed for sorority rush.
Yes, you may.
Thanks. Bye.
Bye.
Get a costume for my party!
Ted!
Ladies, this is Ted Cooper,
a student of mine
and a famous weatherman.
What are you ladies up to?
Is there a modeling
convention in town?
This is the walking group
that I told you about.
Care to join us?
Oh, I would love to,
but I gotta rain check.
I lost my suitcase,
so I have to get
- some new clothes.
- All by yourself?
Not on our watch.
Ladies, put your
step counters to pause.
- We are going shopping.
- Oh!
Okay.
Oh, thanks.
That's nice. Ooh.
- And this.
- Snazzy.
Sure.
Casual handsome.
Oh!
Nice. Okay.
I like this.
Casual dressed up.
Oh, okay.
Pants.
And one more.
- Why not?
- Yes.
Okay.
So I hear that an actor's
coming by the station that day
but I don't know who.
A little while later...
I get a little tap
on the shoulder.
And this voice says to me,
almost whispers in my ear.
Excuse me, are you Ted Cooper?
Who could it be?
And who do I see
standing before me?
But the mountain of a man
that is Mark Harmon.
- Oh, my God, wow!
- He smelled incredible.
Yeah!
Oh! Hey.
- Hi.
- Hi, Hope. This is uh...
the Lackawanna walking crew.
Crew, this is Hope Newbury,
doctor extraordinaire.
Oh, I don't know
about that, but...
This is the one
I was telling you about.
Hi. Nice to meet you.
Are you just, uh,
getting off work?
I am, yeah.
Just used my last brain cell,
was gonna get a coffee
and then bury my face in
a plate of carbs, hopefully.
I did hear there's
a burger deal down the road
at the Fox and Hounds pub.
Two for one.
With all-you-can-eat fries.
Oh, well, you had me
at all-you-can-eat.
You gonna eat both
those burgers yourself?
Uh, well, I... could...
but I shouldn't.
I'm not...
I'm not saying you couldn't,
I was just thinking that
chivalry dictates that
I should probably help
you out with those.
Right.
Let's do it.
Ladies...
it's been a delight.
I will see you soon.
You got that?
Yeah, I think I do.
Can we pop by my car
so I can drop all this off?
Yeah, you might need that.
Got all your stuff?
Wow. Judgey McJudgerson.
No judgment, no.
But I was wondering if
your fan club always
dressed like
retired breakdancers.
That's great.
I gotta text them that.
Oh, you have their numbers.
They added me to the group chat.
- After you.
- Thank you.
Hey, Ted Cooper!
What's up everybody?
Do you want to, um,
grab us a table
and I'll get us some burgers?
I can do that. Yeah.
Okay, great.
What would you like to drink?
Um...
Christmas ale?
Christmas ale.
I like it.
Hey, can I get two
Christmas ales, please?
What I can't believe is
that every single person here...
knew your name.
You're like...
You're, like, that guy.
The... the Norm from Cheers.
That's who you are.
The Norm? Oh, my gosh. Wow.
Well, I grew up here.
Well, so did I.
Yeah, but you moved away.
So did you, and...
I live here now.
You're right.
Kinda sounds like a you issue.
Does it?
No, I'm kidding.
I come here all the time
whenever I'm back in town, so...
Have you ever thought
about moving back?
Funnily enough, I just got
a job offer in Buffalo.
Hmm. Doing the weather?
Mm-hmm.
Well, that sounds like the...
universe aligning for you.
Yeah. I don't know.
Why? What? Why not?
My producer in Corning,
this guy Jerry,
he gave me an opportunity
right out of grad school
when literally
no one else would.
So, I kinda feel like
I owe my career to him.
And Corning itself
has been great to me, so...
But is Corning home?
No, it is not.
I bet you if you asked every
single person in this bar,
they'd tell you to take
the job in Buffalo.
As would I.
- You would?
- Yeah.
You might find this hard
to understand, given you know
every single person
on a first-name basis
within a five-mile radius.
Oh, thank you very much.
But I haven't had
a lot of time to...
Thank you.
Do much socializing, so...
it'd be nice to see
a friendly face.
Wow. Ruth was right.
These burgers do look amazing.
Ooh...
What? What's wrong?
No, nothing.
It's not a big deal.
I just asked for no mayo
and there's mayo.
Mmm, well, I'm sure they
can fix it for you.
Oh, no, no. It's... it's fine.
The, um... the server
is the owner's kid
and I don't wanna
get her in trouble.
It's all good.
Coop, you've been raving
about these burgers.
Everybody here loves you.
I'm sure they'd love
to fix it for you.
It'd be no problem.
Hope it's fine. Really.
I am having far too good
a time to let a little mayo
bring me down.
Well, let's see it.
Very mayo forward.
Uh, hey, whatever happened
to Matt Kroner?
Oh...
we're gonna bring up old
high school exes, are we?
Throwing you off your game
is about the only chance I have.
I don't think you can do that.
Uh... we broke up in college.
Oh, no, I was
really rooting for you guys.
Why'd you break up?
Oh...
I don't know.
He... would never open up.
I don't know, I keep ending up
in these relationships
with guys that...
you know...
don't fight for it.
I mean, I get it.
I work long hours,
and that's hard, but I...
still, I...
You don't have to tell me.
It's the reason I'm single, too.
Women cannot handle
the hustle and grind
of dating a meteorologist.
Mm-hmm.
You know, you haven't
changed a bit from high school.
That bad, huh?
Not at all... I just...
I mean, you have the same...
You know.
Carefree disposition
as you did in class.
Okay, yeah. Great recovery.
I can go with that. Yeah.
What about you?
You look the same.
Albeit with fewer
emo punk t-shirts.
True.
Uh...
But I feel different.
How so?
Give me the crash course
in Hope.
Five things that are
different about you now
from when you were
in high school.
- Oh, five things.
- Mm-hmm.
Feel free to let it, like,
throw you off your game, too.
Right. Yeah, okay. Five things
that are different about Hope.
Well, for one, I...
I speak three different
languages now.
Wow. Okay.
Oh, I make my own ramen.
And I really enjoy
audio books of romance novels.
Okay, what kind of, uh...
spice level are we talking here?
Well, normally I stick to
a PG 13, but recently I have...
I... I meant the ramen.
Okay. I am a sucker
for an escape room, and...
I played a lot of darts
in med school.
- Did you see that?
- Yeah.
Really feel like Hope
from high school
would've let me win one.
Kinda missing her right now.
Wow.
I guess time flies
when you're having fun.
It does.
Hey, I was thinking...
since...
you know, you're covering
the fundraiser.
Um, would you like to come by
the hospital tomorrow and I can
walk you through what
you're raising money for?
Yeah. Yeah, that'd be great.
Okay. It's a, uh...
It's a...
uh... an appointment.
It's an appointment.
Yeah.
Sounds good.
Good night, Ted.
'Night, Hope.
Oh, no.
No!
Come on.
What do I do? What do I do?
Yes. Okay.
Yup.
There we go.
Where are you?
Oh... I found you.
There you are.
Hey, fellas.
No, I don't wanna press charges.
He's my brother.
Sorry, ma'am. We couldn't
confirm he was family.
A lot of Coopers out there.
Okay.
I wonder how the big house
has changed him.
We'll bring him right out.
None other than
National Treasure himself,
Mark Harmon.
Can you believe that?
Dude even smelled handsome.
I don't know how it's possible.
Ooh! Nice PJs.
Thank you.
Brave.
That's not funny.
Merry Christmas everybody!
- Merry Christmas, Ted.
- Merry Christmas, Ted.
It's hard enough being
the favorite, but now I have
the pleasure of telling Dad
his baby boy got arrested.
Has the family newsletter
gone out yet?
You're the worst.
And also the best.
Thanks for bailing me out.
All I'm saying is when
it comes to inheritance,
they take things like
a criminal record into account.
By that standard,
you should probably fire me
from promoting the Invitational.
You have a good point.
I mean, I did give the promos
to all of my events
to the unluckiest guy
in the world.
What if I didn't
pick up my phone?
Yeah, but you did.
And outside of some
light incarceration,
I had a great day.
I hung out with Ruth
and her walking crew.
I got a bunch of clothes.
I had dinner with Hope.
You went out with Hope?
Well, I did... no, no.
I didn't go out with Hope.
Like, I was with Hope, and...
We were out.
Cool your jets, all right.
It was a friendly hang.
But I am seeing her tomorrow.
She's gonna tell me all about
the new children's wing.
I figured it'd be
good for the promos.
Huh.
You know who else
could've told you about
the children's wing?
- Hmm.
- Your sister.
The fundraising coordinator.
Yeah, but she's
just so darn busy.
Good night.
Oh, by the way.
The new studio called
while you were in jail.
They wanna talk logistics
about the new promo.
What did you tell them?
Uh... who had Ted goes to jail?
- So, Coop.
- Mm-hmm.
He's not really your type.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
What's my type?
Nice car, well-groomed beard.
- Oh...
- Emotionally unavailable.
Yeah.
Complete opposite of my type.
Which is?
Ooh, tall, muscular.
- Really into Taylor Swift.
- Uh-huh.
Worships me.
Mmm.
I have not met him yet,
sure, but...
- He's out there.
- Yeah.
I believe it.
Hey.
Oh, look at that,
it's our hospital's
most valuable customer.
What can I say? I love
to support local business.
Mmm.
All right, well,
I'm gonna go do my job, so...
See ya, Coop.
Bye, Syd.
Good to see you again.
Ready for the tour?
Oh, yeah.
It's gonna be 20 more rooms.
All private.
Um, two more operating rooms
and a garden on the roof.
- On the roof?
- Yeah.
Wow.
Oh.
Hospitals can be
a scary place for kids.
Well, everyone... really.
You try to make it
as comfortable as possible.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Amelia wanted to come
and say thank you.
Oh, you're welcome.
ASL?
- My father was deaf.
- Oh.
Amelia made gingerbread cookies.
Mmm! Amelia.
Delicious. Thank you.
She's wondering if
you'd like to try one.
Absolutely. I would love to.
Mmm!
Mmm!
Mmm, mmm, mmm!
Hmm?
Is that peanut butter?
Yes.
It's her secret ingredient.
Is it?
Wow, that is...
That is very, very good.
Thanks for everything, Hope.
I know I didn't get a chance
earlier to say, but, uh...
I'm really sorry to hear about
the passing of your dad.
And if you ever need anything,
please let Ron and I know, okay?
I will.
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
Hope, I'm so sorry.
I didn't know about your dad.
Oh, well, I didn't...
talk about it.
I don't talk about it.
It's why I came back
to Lackawanna.
Yeah.
I knew he wasn't doing so well.
So he, um...
died three months ago.
He... you okay?
No. I'm so sorry about all that.
Do you have an EpiPen?
Are you allergic
to peanut butter?
- Yes, massively.
- Give me the cookie.
Doesn't hurt.
Your face is swelling.
Why...
would you eat the cookie?
Okay, first of all, Hope...
Who puts peanut butter
in a gingerbread cookie?
No one. That's who.
Also, what am I gonna do,
spit it out? Really?
Did you see her big doe eyes?
Arm in a little cast.
Not a chance.
Ted.
I was gonna go home
and finally decorate, but...
now we're gonna have to keep you
under close observation.
Oh, do you?
No, we actually do.
It's, it's...
- Protocol.
- Oh, it's protocol. Yup.
Understood. Uh... well...
I could help you.
Hmm.
Okay.
Start this guy up top.
- Feeding.
- Feeding.
Feeding. Feeding.
Let's go decorate a tree.
What do I smell?
Is that frosting and anxiety?
The costume party is tonight
and I have 7,000 things
I need to do.
How can I help?
I'm so glad you asked.
You can call Hope and
invite her to the party.
She wants you to ask her out.
How do you know?
Because she likes you.
You think so?
I am pretty likable.
Call her.
Ouch.
That was a long conversation.
Hmm?
Yeah, whew, she is, uh...
quite the chatterbox.
She said she's, um, gonna see
what time she gets off work
and try to come.
What's wrong?
Nothing's wrong.
You're sweating.
I'm warm.
It's 30 degrees out.
I'm an athlete, Kate, I run hot.
I'm an athlete, Kate,
so I run hot.
Shady, shady brother.
No voicemail, no voicemail,
no voice...
Hey. What's up, Hope?
It's Ted.
Cooper.
From high school and...
earlier this week.
And your dreams. Nope.
Hey, what's up, Ted?
It's Hope.
Nope. Come on, be a human.
No, no, no, no, no.
'Sup, girl?
It's your boy, TC... eww.
No, no.
You got this. You got this!
Easy breezy, easy breezy.
Hey, what's up?
Oh, no.
Come on!
Hi, Hope.
This is Kate Cooper.
Hope!
Hey! Wow.
Awesome Scrooge costume.
Costume you say?
I worked on that
the whole... whole way here.
I love that you
arrived in character, uh...
But why are you here right now?
Kate called me.
She said there was
a costume party.
I had to come.
Oh!
Did she?
Yeah. Okay.
Well, that's... that's great.
No, it's just that the...
uh, the party doesn't start
for another hour.
Oh...
Uh... I thought you said 6:00.
Huh? I did?
Oh, I... I thought I said 7:00.
I don't think so.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I, uh, I meant 7:00.
Oops.
Oops.
- Carry on.
- Uh-huh.
Yeah. Her...
Come on in, milady.
Uh...
I regret the accent.
No, I... I respected
the commitment.
Will you give me a minute?
I have to talk to
Kate real quick.
- Go, go, go...
- Ow!
- What?
- What are you doing?
You didn't invite her
to the party.
How do you know that?
Because I saw the screen footage
of you leaving her
a thousand messages.
That is an invasion of privacy.
You pick the one place
on the entire property
that's right in front
of the camera.
And what I saw, Ted...
it was bone-chilling.
It was like watching a car
accident in slow motion.
I froze up!
I didn't know what to say.
It's because you like her.
Oh, of course I like her!
Have you seen her? Kate.
She's smart and funny
and beautiful.
And she's great with kids.
Why are you trying so hard
to set us up?
Because I am your sister,
and I love you,
and I want you to be happy!
Fine. I love you, too.
Get out there.
- Hey.
- Hi.
It's so nice that your sister
still lives in your family home.
Yeah, she bought it from my dad
when he retired to Arizona.
Oh.
Well, tell him hi.
Not that he'll remember me.
Who could forget you?
Look what I found.
Mind if I take a look?
- Go for it.
- Our yearbook.
It's been a minute.
Oh. Uh... what?
What... what is... what is...
what is your quote?
- Hmm.
- "I'll spread my wings.
"I'll learn how to fly.
"I'll do what it takes
to touch the sky."
Kelly Clarkson. Mmm.
I'm really regretting
that one now.
Mmm.
Okay, let's see yours.
"Certainty of death.
Small chance of success.
"What are we waiting for?"
Gimli.
- Who's Gimli?
- What?
Are you kidding?
From Lord of the Rings.
Brave warrior dwarf.
Loyal. Stubborn. What?
Mmm. I could see that.
Okay.
Nice burn.
All right.
Hope Newbury. Most popular.
Smartest. Most talented.
Most likely to succeed.
Were you on the yearbook staff?
That feels excessive.
Yeah. Okay.
Ted Cooper.
Most likely to report
the weather
at a mid-sized TV station.
That is bizarrely accurate.
Wow.
Aww, look at these cuties.
Ooh.
Still how we are to this day.
Us against the world.
You two seem close.
Yeah, we are.
Kate kinda pulled double duty
as big sister and parent.
Oh.
Our mom left when we were young,
so she really stepped up
and helped raise me.
To this day, she still blames me
for her premature frown lines.
Okay.
You were...
cute in high school.
I was?
I mean, I think...
we might have gotten along.
Given...
you drew a big
red heart around my face.
Is that... what...
is that what that is?
Yeah, that's what it is.
Whoo.
Why didn't you ask me out?
Did you not see
the superlatives page?
I loved AV club
and science fair.
It literally never
occurred to me
that a girl like you
would be into a guy like me.
Hmm.
Well, I...
I would've.
Really wishing we'd had this
conversation when we were 18.
Mmm.
Are you still?
Still what?
Into guys who love AV club
and science fair?
Ted, can you get that?
- Okay.
- Yeah!
Let me grab my hat.
Oh... Jacob Marley!
- Hi, everybody.
- Hi!
Come on in.
Drinks and snacks in the back.
Dance floor is in the barn.
Howdy. Ooh! Milady.
Sure thing. Hi. Okay.
Did you all drive
in the same car?
- And, and...
- Wow.
Party bus.
Clown car.
Now, this is a party.
See what I mean, girls?
Ruth!
Hey. Wow, you look great.
You look pretty cool yourself.
Thanks. Yeah. Hi, everyone!
Ooh!
What is it like being big sister
to New York's most likable man?
Exhausting.
Is he always like this?
Pretty much.
He just always likes to see
the good in the world, you know?
Yeah.
Well, it's admirable.
I think I could...
use a little more
of that in my life.
Okay.
Hi.
Check out Tiny Tim
tearing up the dance floor.
I know! We were just saying.
Who... who even is he?
- Where is he from?
- Do you know him, Kate?
He's from my office.
Losing the stick.
Oh, my gosh.
Go, Tim!
I don't think he needs
that crutch.
Nicely done!
Whoo!
All right, you two.
- It's time for you...
- No, no.
To get out on the dance floor
and show Tim how it's done.
I can't, I cannot.
Gotta show Tim how it's done.
You show him how it's done.
Mm-hmm.
Watch, I go low with it, too.
Ooh!
- But then I come back up.
- Yeah.
Whoo! Turn it to a slow song.
Turn it to a slow song.
Shall we?
Is this your first time
dancing with the snowman?
It is, yes.
How is it going so far?
It's your first time dancing
with a Scrooge?
Weirdly enough, no.
Thank you. I had a...
really nice time tonight.
Yeah. Me too.
Hey.
I was thinking, um...
If...
Uh, um...
Err... never mind.
I... I bet you... you probably
gotta get going.
Well, I don't...
I don't have to go this...
like, this very second.
- Oh.
- I mean...
- If there's...
- I was just...
- Oh, you go.
- What, wait...
- Okay.
- No...
It, uh... it's... it's nothing.
I can wait.
You sure?
Yeah.
Okay.
Night, Ted.
Night, Hope.
Hi.
Hi.
I meant to ask you
something at the party,
but I, um...
chickened out.
That was the extent
of my ASL, so...
- Is that a yes?
- Yes, that was a...
that was a yes.
Okay. So far,
we have a...
intimate trip to
a scrapbooking store,
and Salisbury steak,
and bingo night.
Do we have any other
date suggestions?
Don't limit yourself
to Lackawanna.
Maybe get out of town
for the day.
Get out...
Ruth Mittens,
you magnificent angel.
You just gave me an idea.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Wow.
You clean up nicely.
Oh! I, uh... I just, um...
went with Christmas theme.
You look nice, too.
Thanks. You ready?
Yeah. What are we doing?
I thought we'd have a little,
uh, fancy dinner at Chez Henry.
Chez Henry?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, I should change.
No, I'm just kidding with you.
You're actually perfectly
dressed for what we're gonna do.
- Okay.
- You're gonna love it.
Okay.
- Ready?
- Yep. Okay.
You're comfortable
around horses, right?
You're...
You're joking, right?
Um...
Ooh...
Greetings, fellow elves,
and welcome to
Escape from Santa's Workshop.
My name is Brendan,
and I, like you, am an...
elf, who...
Oh...
Sorry.
I just got back to town.
I was partying with
my elf buddies all night.
Didn't realize I was
pulling a solo shift today.
You're doing great, Brendan.
Thanks, man.
I've been working hard to get
the toys built
for Christmas, but...
Santa left without a toy.
A toy for one of
the nicest kids in the world.
No...
Your goal is to make it
out of the workshop
and use Christmas magic to
get the toy into this child's
living room before morning.
You have an hour.
If you need help, just say,
"Brendan, I need help!"
and I can give you a hint
from the North Pole.
Finally, Santa has a 'no phones
in the workshop' policy,
so we ask that you
leave them here.
It's Santa's policy.
Your smartwatch.
- And the smartwatch?
- Yeah.
Well, Santa is a stickler.
Stickler.
Exit out the back door.
Take a left.
All right.
Thanks, Brendan.
You got it.
Let's do this.
Oh... okay.
Santa's workshop
certainly got an upgrade.
Yeah, definitely not warm,
cozy holiday vibes,
but I dig it.
Ho, ho, ho!
Welcome merry participants.
You have 59 minutes
to earn your freedom.
You good?
Good. Yeah.
Did you scream?
- I think it was the machine.
- I think I heard you scream.
No, I don't... nope.
Don't know.
Wow.
Okay, I got boxes.
Okay.
We got some switches.
Oh! Elves.
Lots of elves.
Hey!
We got a black light over here.
Okay.
Well, they have some kind of...
security ID on here.
Okay. Makes sense.
Santa has a lot of
top-secret tech.
The elves need clearance.
Yeah. Makes total sense.
Okay, there's arrows
on the boxes.
Okay. Let's think.
Six elves.
Six boxes.
One toy sack.
Well, maybe the arrows
are a misdirect.
Oh. That's good.
Well...
Hey, wait. Do yours have
a barcode on the back?
They do.
Maybe they need to be scanned?
- Black light!
- Black light.
Fifty-six.
Ooh.
Twenty-two.
Eighty-four.
Eighty-six, twenty-two,
eighty-four.
That's got to be
a combination, right?
- There's gotta be a lock.
- Lock.
Let's look for a lock.
If I were a lock...
where would I be?
- Lock.
- Lock.
Nice!
Okay.
Fifty-six.
Twenty-two.
Eighty-four.
Okay...
You wanna reach in there?
No. I don't wanna reach
in there.
Yeah. Fair enough.
Oh.
It's a teddy bear.
But not just any teddy bear.
A Christmas present.
Toy sack.
Ho, ho, ho!
You've escaped from
Santa's workshop
with the gift in record time.
Proceed to the Santa's
sleigh launchpad!
- What's up, now?
- Record time.
- What's up?
- We're incredible.
Oh. Okay.
Keep your eyes peeled for clues.
Brendan!
That's enough!
Oh, my gosh.
Whoa!
So, this is how he delivers
billions of presents
in one night.
Santa 5.0.
Enter launch code.
What was our code?
56, 22, 84?
Yeah.
Not it. All right.
We are looking for
a new launch code.
Okay, we got this.
Hey.
The sleigh has a license plate
that says 'baggage'.
Huh.
Okay.
What kind of baggage?
Well, there's a giant toy sack.
That's... that's a bag, right?
Good point.
Yeah.
Okay.
Anything?
No, there's
nothing else in here.
Wait a sec.
Baggage.
Okay. Hear me out.
What if they're not letters?
What if they're musical notes?
- Ooh.
- Mm-hmm.
- You're good.
- Yeah.
Ooh. One problem.
I can't read music.
- Can you?
- No.
That's gonna be a bit
of a stumbling block.
Let me hop down.
Do you think...
I mean, as much as
it hurts my ego,
we ask for a little help?
Brendan, we need a clue!
Brendan, a little help, buddy!
He's, uh...
- He's taking his sweet time.
- Yeah.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
Santa's sleigh launch aborted.
Christmas is canceled.
Have a holly, jolly failure.
Well, that was
a little dramatic.
Yeah.
Brendan!
Brendan?
Brendan!
You know, I could think of
worse places to be trapped.
- Really?
- Yeah.
I could think of better.
Somewhere with...
food.
Oh.
Food, you say?
You think this is funny?
Yeah.
We can't escape
from an escape room.
It's a little bit funny.
We don't have any water.
Hmm.
Or cell phones.
Don't you have a promo
first thing in the morning?
- Yeah.
- I've gotta work.
I think we're within
our rights to be, you know...
a little upset.
Yeah, but being upset
isn't gonna help us
get out of the room.
So I'd rather
count my blessings.
We're inside.
We have a very cozy place
to sit down.
Thank you, sleigh.
And my promo's not for 12 hours.
We have plenty of time.
Besides, I'm sure Brendan's
gonna let us out any minute.
Let's see.
What have we got?
Yep.
And it's morning.
Well, at least the, um...
sleigh is comfortable.
You were right about that.
Yeah.
Company's not bad either.
I wish I got to know you
in high school.
Yeah.
At least we're getting
to know each other now.
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
Then... lay it on me.
Give me...
the peek behind the curtain.
- Oh.
- Who is...
- Ted Cooper?
- Oh, wow.
Well...
for starters, I am
a codependent people pleaser.
Go on.
My therapist would
tell you it is
due to my mom leaving
when we were young.
My dad never quite
recovering from that.
And then my sister
picking up his slack,
and then me learning to
make myself as small as possible
so as to not create more
work for the two of them.
Upside is I'm fun at parties.
How about you?
Lay it on me.
Listen, I don't... no.
I don't want a highlight reel,
I want the baggage.
Baggage. Okay.
Um...
Well, last year was a nightmare.
I moved back here,
I lost my dad.
And I go between saving lives
and being two cats away
from becoming a spinster.
I'm also three inches taller
than I'm comfortable with.
Ahh.
- Just three inches?
- Yeah.
No, but seriously, I...
I could never do what you do.
But it must
feel nice knowing that
your job literally makes
the world a better place.
I think you're amazing, Hope.
Is this how you pictured
the date ending?
Weirdly enough...
this is exactly how
I pictured the date ending.
Uh... hey, guys.
Uh, so sorry about that.
Um...
as an apology for the whole
accidental captivity thing,
how about a 50 percent discount
next time you come back?
- That's nice, Brendan.
- Mm-hmm.
Good morning.
Wow.
Where have you been?
Got stuck in an
escape room all night.
Hi Hope.
This is not a time for jokes.
- Less than a minute.
- Not a joke. How's my hair?
Yes, it's good. It's perfect.
You look great. Yeah.
- Break a leg.
- Yeah.
Ted?
Hello?
You with us, buddy?
Indeed I am, Ken.
I am here live at
the Lackawanna Community Center
where there has
never been a more
beautiful morning.
Thank you... Ted.
And these local bakers are
trying to set a state record
for the largest gingerbread man
in New York history.
And why not a world record?
Well, because the world record
is over 32ft tall, Ken,
and we don't have
the budget for that.
So, come on down
and help raise money
for the local
children's hospital.
I, for one, can't think of
a more delicious way
to raise money for a good cause.
Can you?
Reporting live from Lackawanna.
I'm Ted Cooper.
And we're clear.
Thank you.
That was great, I love you.
I am going to kill you.
Where were you?
I mean, I am very happy, but you
did not come home last night.
And I want to hug you,
and I wanna strangle you.
I have conflicting feelings.
Yeah, I see that.
Uh, listen...
I, uh, I got stuck
in an escape room.
Like I said, I can't talk now.
I love you and we'll talk later.
So, what are you doing
with the rest of your day?
Um...
Well, I have a shift.
I've gotta work till 6:00.
Oof! Ouch.
Well...
how about I call you
after you get off, and...
maybe we can grab a drink, or...
get stuck in another
local establishment.
Uh, we should be so lucky.
Good morning, Hope.
Good morning, Ted.
Hey.
Hey, look who's home.
Keys, lover boy.
I got places to be.
And I am going to take
a long winter's nap.
Wait, quick reminder,
you have one more promo
this afternoon before
the big event tomorrow.
Yes, I will take a ride-share.
Okay.
Just don't get thrown in jail
between now and then.
No promises.
That... that's Ted, isn't it?
- Well, I mean...
- Yeah. Thought so.
Yeah.
Wait, you like him.
I can't remember the last time
I had this much fun.
How many guys would take you
to an escape room
on our first date?
Hmm?
All right, Ted Cooper,
you smooth operator.
Wait. When are you
seeing him again?
Tonight.
Well, okay.
Well, I guess dinner
with me and the others
is out of the question.
- Have fun with your plans.
- Okay.
You Ed?
Last I checked.
Wasn't expecting a limo.
Well, surprise, surprise.
Yeah.
I'm digging the vibe
in here, man.
Five star vibes
are what I'm about.
Crank those tunes back up, Ed.
Right on, man!
Fa la la la la,
la la la la.
'Tis the season
to be jolly.
Fa la la la la,
la la la la.
So, tomorrow, if you have plans,
cancel them.
If you have work, call in sick.
And if you have
a hot date, tell them
it's not them, it's you.
Because you'll be in Lackawanna
at the Gingerbread Invitational.
Back to you, Ken.
Uh...
Thanks... Ted.
Anything new? Because I'm not
seeing any casts on body parts
or missing teeth or any
apparent symptoms of illness.
I'm worried.
Is everything okay?
It's like I told you, Ken.
It was only a matter of time
before my Christmas
bad luck turned around.
That's not frosting.
Hello?
Hi.
Um...
Sorry, I was, uh... looking
for Ted.
Ted? He's with me.
We're going to a Christmas rave.
Who's this?
Um... uh...
It doesn't matter.
You dropped your phone, Ted.
My name's not Ted, it's Ed.
Then whose phone is this?
Wait, another woman answered?
You're telling me
Ted Cooper's a player?
Well, I... I mean... he...
doesn't seem like
the kind of guy, but...
Is he?
Do you want me to
track him down?
Liam Neeson style.
I have a very particular
set of skills.
Oh, that won't be necessary.
Is it too late to join
you for dinner?
I don't wanna wait around here.
Oh, of course.
Thank you.
Have you seen my phone?
No. Do you want me to call it?
Yes, please.
Do you hear it?
No.
It's ringing.
Voicemail.
Hello? Yes.
Okay. That's fine.
Why don't you take me
through the problem first?
- All right. Yeah.
- Kate.
- Kate.
- What?
Can I borrow the car real quick?
Why?
Because I told Hope
that I'd call her.
I don't want her
to think I'm a flake.
- Okay.
- Okay, sorry. Is that a work...
- Hi...
- Is that a work call?
Yes.
Love you.
I am so sorry about that.
Yes, my phone has just
been on the fritz lately.
Mind if I borrow your phone?
Are you really calling
her this early?
Yeah.
Come on, Hope.
'Kay, so I've ordered
the ultrasound, the X-ray.
The bloodwork.
She's not picking up.
Well, Hope's a doctor.
She's probably busy.
Speaking of busy, I have to go.
Goodbye.
Wait, wait, wait. Am I
overthinking this whole thing?
'Cause it did seem like
we were really clicking.
Ted, I'm sure
whatever is going on,
if anyone can
work it out, it's you.
But if you make me any later
than I already am,
I will hurt you in ways
you can't imagine.
- Understood.
- Okay.
- See ya.
- Wait, wait, wait.
How am I gonna call a car
without my phone?
Walk.
- Ah...
- Hm.
Whoa!
Hug?
No hug. Yeah.
No hug. Okay.
- Bye, Ted.
- Bye.
Have a great day!
She didn't say it back.
Ted!
We were trying to call you.
Oh, I lost my phone.
What's up?
Well...
the girls and I
pitched in and, well...
Here.
- For me?
- Mm-hmm.
Aww! Thank you.
No way!
Aww, this is awesome!
Thank you.
Aww.
I gotta pop this on right now.
I'm part of the crew.
Is everything okay, Ted?
You seem a little...
less enthusiastic than normal.
Especially given that outfit.
Uh, keep going, girls.
We'll catch up.
Well, I, uh, I assure you,
it's not the outfit.
The outfit is incredible. Um...
It's Hope.
We were supposed to talk
last night, but I lost my phone.
So, I went to her house,
and I left a note, but...
she never called.
I'm just kinda spinning out,
wondering if she's having
second thoughts.
Nuh-uh.
In life and in love,
there will be so many situations
where you get your
wires crossed.
Don't assume the worst.
It's just like in the movies,
young couples are always
breaking up because of some
silly misunderstanding.
Rock Hudson and Doris Day.
Robert Redford and Jane Fonda.
Leonardo DiCaprio
and Kate Winslet.
Yeah, they didn't break up.
He died.
Because they misunderstood
how big that door really was.
Don't fall into the same
trap as everyone else.
As Cher would say,
snap out of it.
You will talk to her again soon.
I know it.
Thanks, Ruth.
Hello?
Uh... hey, is, uh...
is this Hope?
Ted?
No, Ed.
I found this phone
in my ride this morning.
I'm just calling all
the recent callers,
trying to figure out
who it belongs to.
So, wait, you... you've had...
Ted's phone since last night?
Ted Cooper?
I remember him. Sweet dude.
I gave him a ride yesterday.
Tell you what, if you can
give me his address...
Oh!
I've done it again.
Oh, you... what?
What did you do?
That thing.
The thing that I do.
Ugh, I gotta go find Ted.
Thank you. Thank you.
So, what should I do
with Ted's phone?
Yeah, yeah.
I'll call you back.
Hello? Hello?
Hey!
There you are.
Where have you been?
What are you wearing?
Never mind.
That doesn't matter right now.
Well, actually...
That's a whole thing.
That's a lot.
Is everything all right?
No, I mean...
it wasn't.
I called you
last night, and this...
this girl, she...
picked up the phone and she
said she was with you and I...
You know, I didn't know
how to take that.
- Oh.
- I just...
I realized that, you know,
it's not like we're exclusive
or anything, I mean,
we've just been on one date.
I... I was just, like,
that's not cool.
Yeah.
That doesn't seem like
something Ted would do.
But then...
you didn't call me, so I...
Did you get my note?
No, I...
Yeah... I left a note
for you on your front door.
Well, a driver called and
said that he had your phone.
Ed has my phone?
- Oh...
- Of course you know the driver.
Listen, Ted.
I was so mad at myself
for sitting around,
waiting for you to call,
that I just, I, um...
I gave up.
And I do that sometimes.
I do, and I shouldn't,
and I'm sorry.
What's so funny?
Ruth, she called this.
It's a classic misunderstanding.
When you thought I got the note
and then I didn't call you...
Were you worried?
Yeah, I was worried that
you were having second thoughts,
but now I'm just... I'm glad
that we cleared it up.
Well, no, I'm glad
that we cleared it up.
I... I think I'm just trying
to talk about,
you know, what we were feeling.
Okay. Yeah, I... I get that.
Do you?
Get that?
Uh...
Are you upset that
I'm not upset?
Well, no, I...
Well, now, maybe I think
I'm upset that you never
get upset.
I... I get upset.
Do you? 'Cause I feel like
you're happy all the time.
No, but...
even if I was, I mean, is there
anything wrong with that?
No. It's just...
I think it makes it hard for me
to understand you sometimes.
Okay. Um...
What, uh, what...
what don't you understand?
For one...
why wouldn't you take
the job in Buffalo?
Well that, see,
that's complicated, right?
- Because Jerry gave me...
- No, Ted.
This great opportunity
when no one else would.
I know, I know. It's the job.
It's the... the cookie.
It's the mayo on the burger.
It's... it's... it's everything.
I don't... I don't know why you
would give up what you want
just to make everybody
else happy.
I don't like being
an imposition.
Advocating for yourself
isn't an imposition.
Ted, I like so much about you,
I do, I really do.
I just, I think...
you know, when life gets hard,
and it does, all the time
in my line of work, I'm...
I'm just not sure that I can
be with someone that keeps it
so surface all the time.
If you, uh...
I mean, if you think I just
bury my head in the sand...
I don't think you really
know me at all.
Then help me know you.
I think there's so much more
to Ted
than you let any of us see.
Merry Christmas, Ted.
Hope, wait.
You seem
uncharacteristically positive.
Hey, man, we already hit
our fundraising goal.
- We did it.
- What?
You did it!
Congratulations.
Thank you.
Are you okay?
Yeah.
No.
Hope and I had a fight.
Wow.
You got into a fight?
I didn't know you had it in you.
Well...
Hope fought.
I kinda just stood there
and took it.
Oh.
Walk with me.
I'm gonna say something
nice to you,
but don't get used to it,
because it is only
gonna happen once.
Okay.
You deserve everything
good in life.
But...
you hold yourself back.
You need to go after
what you want.
It might be too late.
That's something people say
when they're scared.
You're gonna be okay.
You're gonna tell her
how you feel
and you'll be back
annoying me in no time.
Us against the world?
Us against the world.
- Hey.
- Hmm?
What you've done here
is incredible.
Have you taken a moment
to appreciate that?
Yeah.
No, dude. I'm serious.
Look around you.
This took a Herculean effort,
and you crushed it.
Soak it in.
It's moments like these
that make you almost
worth the frown lines.
Almost.
Almost.
So, um...
that's what you're wearing
to the Gingerbread
Invitational fair?
Oh, I'm not going.
Got it. Okay.
You told me on the phone
you don't wanna run into Ted.
That's right.
Then why are you here?
Because I think you're
being ridiculous.
Hope, let me get this straight.
You're mad at him for not
being mad at you, right?
Yeah!
He's happy.
All the time.
Oh, no!
A handsome, gainfully employed
man in a good mood.
I think he's just
trying to impress you.
He's trying to impress everyone.
So, he cares about everyone.
How terrible.
Look...
I have watched you go through
some really hard times,
and I wanted to help,
but I don't know how.
And then here comes Ted Cooper.
And he has put a smile
on your face ever since
he came back into town.
Hope, that's a beautiful thing.
What are you scared of?
I've just...
Lost a lot.
Starting to feel like
everybody leaves.
And maybe...
Maybe it's me.
Hope.
I only think it's you
if you leave him
on the other side of the city.
Fight for him.
I'm here in Lackawanna where
the Gingerbread Invitational
is officially underway.
The giant gingerbread man
behind me will soon be measured
to determine whether or not
it has set a state record
for the largest gingerbread man
in New York history.
Until then, I'll be here
hanging out with members
of my hometown,
discussing the art of baking...
Okay, Hope.
Big breath, big breath.
And of course, Christmas.
- Go get him.
- Okay.
- You got it.
- I know, I know, I know.
Let's talk to some folks,
shall we?
You two. Oh, come on.
Dressed to the nines.
What is it that you love
about Christmas?
You're not going up there?
No, I hate crowds.
Yeah. Me too.
Last time I braved the crowd
like this was the Eras tour.
You went to the Eras tour?
Oh, I wouldn't have missed it.
Oh.
Well. Hi.
I'm Sydney.
Brandon.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Let's see, who else?
Yes, you.
What is it that you love
about Christmas?
Oh, I like Christmas
because of the presents.
And my Grandma and Grandpa
come to town.
And because I like presents.
I think you said presents twice.
I like presents.
I see you do.
Well, I hope you get everything
you hope for this year.
Who else?
Ma'am.
How about you?
Yes. You.
- Oh, no.
- Oh, come on,
Don't be shy.
Come on.
- Hi. Uh...
- Hey.
What is it that you are
hoping for this Christmas?
Um...
- World peace.
- Mmhmm, mmhmm.
It seems like a... a good one.
- Sure.
- Um...
A, uh... you know...
goodwill to everyone.
Yeah.
- Goes without saying.
- Yeah.
And, um...
Maybe a conversation
that's not on-air.
Well, it, uh... sounds like
the perfect time
to throw it back to you
in the studio, Ken.
And we're clear.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Oh, it's good to see you.
Can I go first?
I'm aware that I am
chronically optimistic
and that I brightside
every situation.
But I do get sad,
and I do get angry.
And I can do better
at showing that.
And you were right.
I don't advocate for myself
or fight for what I want
nearly as much as
I could or should.
But I can do better.
And I... I... I will...
do better.
Starting with you.
I took the job in Buffalo.
You did?
Yeah.
It's a great opportunity
and, um...
happens to be much closer
to the girl I like.
That's good news.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
What did your producers
in Corning say?
I don't know.
I didn't ask.
[Field Producer
Coming back in three..
Two... one.
We're li... we're live.
We're... Ted!
Ted, we're live!
Hey! It's Ted. Come on.
Oh, my God!
Ken gave me odds
of 10,000 to one!
I'm rich!
I'm gonna have to sell my boat.
Ted!
Ted, we're live!
Whoo!
Oh.
Yeah.
Best Christmas ever.
If you haven't already done so,
please consider donating
to the Lackawanna
Children's Hospital.
I can't think of
a more worthy cause
this holiday season.
From Lackawanna, I'm Ted Hooper.
No, I'm not.
Kiss got me flustered.
From Lackawanna, I'm Ted Cooper.
Merry Christmas.
And we're clear.
Honestly, thank goodness.
That was a...
professional first for me.
Well...
Guess my Christmas bad luck
is finally behind me.
I hope you're all having
a wonderful start to your day.
Let's take a look
at the weather.
We have a cold front from
Lake Huron heading southeast
over Buffalo, bringing
Arctic temperatures.
And more importantly,
a chance for me to finally
break out that parka I got
on Black Friday.
Until then, expect highs
in the mid to low 40s.
Well, thank you Ted.
So, any exciting plans
for the holiday?
I'm glad that you asked,
slash, read that
off the teleprompter, Ken.
I'll be heading two hours north
to my hometown of Lackawanna,
where my older sister
is planning
the Gingerbread Invitational.
What's the Gingerbread
Invitational, Ted?
Thanks for asking, Ken.
It is an event that gathers
the best
gingerbread bakers in the state
to help raise money
to build a children's wing
in the local hospital.
So, all week, I will be
delivering heartfelt
and shameless promos encouraging
everyone in the area
to come out and help support
a great cause.
Thank you, Ted.
Now, let's get real
for a minute.
You have a legendary
run of bad luck
at Christmas over the years.
Oh, I think legendary
is overblown,
and we don't need to get
into it, Ken.
Well, didn't you almost
burn your house down last year?
Indeed I did, Ken.
Grease fires are no joke.
No, they are not.
And the year before that,
I believe you got attacked
by a possum
who was living in
your Christmas tree.
Yes, yes, indeed I was.
But in all fairness,
I was the one
who chopped down his house,
put it on the roof of my car,
and drove it down
the highway, so...
Who really got
the worse end of that deal?
And... and didn't you,
the year before that,
get a disease so rare
that they actually
named it after you?
Yes, yes I did.
Symptoms include undeniable
charisma and effortless charm.
Hmm.
All kidding aside, if you
suspect you have Ted Cooperitis,
seek immediate
medical attention.
Well, you know what, Ted?
I'm not sure
that I would share your
enthusiasm for the holidays.
Oh, boy, you are
such a Grinch, Ken.
What's not to love?
Christmas is a time of coming
together and celebrating.
It just brings out
the best in everyone.
And sure, I have had a few...
tricky, maybe problematic,
potentially horrendous
Christmases in a row.
But that luck has to change
eventually.
So, why not this year?
Well, I wouldn't bet
the farm on it, Ted.
And speaking of farms,
coming up...
an unlikely friendship
between a horse and a cat
that you have to see to believe.
And we're clear.
Love the new hair, Ken.
If I didn't know any better,
I'd think it was your own.
It is my own.
Hey... Ted!
Ted!
Hey, thanks again for letting me
promote the Invitational, Jerry.
Whoa, I should be thanking you.
Not a lot of people watching
weather reports on TV
when they get weather
on their phone.
Yeah, I like to think they care
about hearing their weather
from a trained professional.
Oh, Teddy boy,
they care about you.
Yeah?
Is that why you
took a shot on me?
You know what?
It doesn't matter.
The fact is, you did...
when no one else would.
And I appreciate you for it.
Well, my intentions weren't
as pure as they might seem.
Oh?
Viewers also like tuning in
around Christmas to see
what could go terribly wrong.
Yeah, yeah.
I still maintain that
'Santa does the weather'
would have been a great segment
had that chimney been
a little wider.
Mmhmm. Mmhmm.
Hey, did WDTB
give you a call yet?
Yeah. Actually they
called this morning.
So, did you give 'em an answer?
No.
No?
Oh. It's a lot to think about.
I mean they're the state's
biggest network
outside the city.
No, I'm happy here.
You guys are like family.
Hey, hey. What's going on here?
Flip that back over.
What is this?
Everyone's taking bets on
what's gonna happen
to you this Christmas.
What?
This is dark, guys.
Come on! Impaled by
a reindeer antler?
What? Who took that bet?
Janice?
Ken gave me 500 to one.
I couldn't pass up
those sweet, sweet odds.
Also, guys, seriously,
why is me kissing
a beautiful woman
less likely than getting
impaled by a reindeer?
51 people are rooting
for me to choke on a chunk of fruitcake.
Joke's on you clowns.
I don't like fruitcake.
Also, not funny to root
for me going to jail.
I would do horribly in jail.
You know what, none
of this matters anyways.
Because this year?
This is the year that old
Ted Cooper's Christmas bad luck
finally turns around.
Losing a lot of money, folks.
You smell great.
I know.
What?
Oh...
Baby brother!
Hey!
Oh...
Hi!
I have been waiting
for half an hour.
Can we go?
Absolutely. Where are
we going?
Going to sleep.
Going home.
Not in that order.
What? Kate, no.
That's boring.
I just got into town.
Let's go have a drink.
- Ted...
- Kate.
Kate...
Fine... we can have one drink.
A small one.
Maybe a festive shot.
Shots. I love where
your head's at.
- Shot!
- So many shots.
Singular.
Where is my tag?
There are fresh towels and
a brand new toothbrush upstairs,
because I know you always
forget... everything.
You know me so well.
Okay, your suitcase
is on my table.
Just give me a second.
Something's not right.
Yikes.
I must've had the same
kind of suitcase
as that girl on the bus.
Should I be worried about
you covering the fundraiser
with everything that happens
to you every Christmas?
What? No. This...
this isn't a setback.
This is an opportunity
to try out some new looks.
I mean... oof!
Come on. Sugar? What?
- These might actually fit.
- Wow.
Good morning.
Hey.
Wow, that is a very
pink sweater.
That girl had good taste, right?
Mm-hmm.
What are you doing up?
I am making us breakfast.
Since when do you
make us breakfast?
You made me breakfast
my entire childhood.
The literal least
I can do is make you
the occasional omelet.
Aww.
Uh, you're gonna go
shopping today, right?
Because your first promo
is tonight, and, um...
I'm not sure that, uh,
that's the vibe.
I am not going anywhere
until you try that omelet.
Okay.
- Mmm!
- Eh?
Fluffy and delicious.
Yeah.
The secret ingredient is love.
Hey, I couldn't help
but notice the alarming lack
of Christmas lights
on the house.
Yeah, I've been really busy.
Really?
That's strange...
you haven't mentioned that...
in the last three minutes.
You're wearing a pink
cropped sweater.
Yeah.
Stay... good box.
No!
Stay.
Stay.
There you go.
Hi, Ted.
This is Max at WDTB,
checking in on our job offer.
Give us a call, and no rush.
Merry Christmas.
Ooh-ahh!
Unstoppable.
Oh, no.
How you holding up?
I'm fine.
You were unconscious.
It's called a cat nap, Kate.
I asked you what two plus
two was, and you said 22.
And I've never
been great at math.
You have your Master's in
Atmospheric Sciences, Ted.
Put the ice back on.
Ted?
Ms. Mittens?
What happened to you?
A box of Christmas lights.
- Ah...
- You?
Hot cookie sheet.
Oof!
Uh, are you still
teaching science?
Retired last year.
Wow.
Congratulations, Ms. Mittens.
Oh, please, call me Ruth.
It's great to see you, Ruth.
I'm back every Christmas.
How have we never
run into each other?
Oh, I usually do the holidays
in Florida, but not this year.
Well, Florida's loss is my gain.
I always knew you'd do
well for yourself, Ted.
And people send me
your clips all the time.
- They do?
- Sure.
Especially the one where
you got stuck in the chimney
at Christmas.
- Mm-hmm.
- Hilarious.
Yeah. Well, I am glad
I could entertain you.
It's good to see you, Ted.
You too.
Uh, any chance you'd be
interested in grabbing a coffee
with your former favorite
student sometime this week?
Oh, why? Is she here?
Still got it.
- Ms. Mittens?
- Amazing, thank you.
- Take care.
- Yeah.
Ted, they're ready.
Oh, great.
- Good luck.
- Here's your ice pack, thanks.
Okay, next time, let's just
make sure that we...
check the expiration date
on the eggnog.
Merry Christmas.
How many cups
have you had today?
Mmm. Too many to count.
Go home, Hope.
We're under-staffed.
And you're pulling
a 12-hour shift.
I don't need a tired doctor.
Oh, every doctor is tired.
Come on.
Look, I can pick up the slack.
I once treated
90 patients here in a day.
And you have never
let us forget that.
You know what I'm gonna
do when I get home?
Hm?
A little bit of
online Christmas shopping.
Glass of red wine.
Ooh, a Chris Hemsworth movie.
Hmm.
Do you know what you're
gonna do when you get off work?
Yeah, I'm gonna pray
that my best friend
stops giving me lectures.
Mmm, no. You are definitely
gonna be trying to pick up
more shifts here.
Okay, well...
Given the year that I've had,
I wanna stay busy.
I get that, I get that.
But you are no good
to anybody if you burn out.
So, come over for
a movie tonight.
Which Chris Hemsworth
movie is it?
Does it matter?
- No.
- No, it does not.
Oh... wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
Guess who's here.
Who?
Ted Cooper.
Coop?
From high school?
I think so.
We had his insurance on file.
Oh, I didn't know
he lived around here.
I don't think he does.
I think he's back for Christmas.
He's a weatherman
over in Corning.
- Hmm. Well, good for him.
- Yeah.
He was always so sweet,
you know, in like a...
nerdy kinda way.
That might be because he, uh,
had a crush on you.
Okay. Please.
You may not have noticed,
but he fell hard for you
back in the day.
And apparently something
fell hard on his head.
So, have fun.
- Ah...
- You're welcome.
Enjoy.
Thank you.
Hey, Coop.
Hope.
Wow. Hi. I...
I didn't know you were
back in town.
Yeah, I moved back
late last year.
You look different.
You look the same.
Hmm.
Well, what brings you in?
Box of Christmas lights
to the dome.
Oh. Anything broken?
Mmm. Probably not.
I have a hard head.
I meant the box of lights.
Right.
So, I hear you're back in town
for Christmas with your sister.
You've been asking
around about me, Hope?
Sydney told me.
Ah, Sydney. Yeah.
You know, she gave me stitches
a few Christmases ago.
She did?
I had an unfortunate incident
involving a porcelain
nativity scene.
Ooh.
Let's just say now there are
only two wise men in Bethlehem.
Which one broke?
Gold.
Hmm. Poor baby Jesus.
You know, stuck with
frankincense and myrrh.
I don't even know what myrrh is.
No one does.
I'm just gonna have a look here.
Any headaches? Dizziness?
No.
No? Look straight ahead.
Hmm.
I never knew you had blue eyes.
Well...
No lacerations.
No concussion.
I think you just
had your bell rung.
Feels appropriate to have
my bell rung at Christmas.
You know what else?
You look good in pink.
Hey. Thanks.
I got it from a college
girl's suitcase.
Hmm.
Nope. That sounded bad.
I brought a college girl's
clothes home with me.
That sounded worse.
You know what?
Let's just...
Let's just chalk it up
to the head injury.
I had it on before
the head injury.
Oh, well, let's keep
that between us.
Little doctor-patient...
confidentiality.
Probably a good idea.
Well, I hope you enjoy
your vacation
while you're here, Coop.
Thanks, but it's actually...
it's not just a vacation.
I'm here doing promos for
the Gingerbread Invitational.
It's the, uh, fundraiser for...
well, actually, this...
I know.
I... work here.
Right. Yeah, obviously,
you know what that is.
Oh!
Do you give lollipops
to all your patients?
Mmm... only the really brave on.
I was really brave, wasn't I?
Mm-hmm.
We'll see you around, Coop.
Bye, Hope.
I assume you heard all of that?
How dare you assume that
I was eavesdropping on that
unbelievably cute exchange?
Come on.
Kate.
- Kate.
- Hmm?
What'd the doctor say?
Things are looking up, baby.
Ask for Doctor Newbury.
She's got lollipops.
And why didn't you tell me
Hope Newbury worked here?
Because I didn't wanna spend
our phone calls listening to you
gush about your
high school crush.
I didn't have a crush on her.
She said you didn't
have a concussion?
Said I was fine.
Maybe we need a second opinion.
Mmm.
Ted!
Is that Ms. Mittens?
Call her Ruth.
No, I'm not gonna call her Ruth.
She was our teacher.
Hi, Ms. Mittens!
Hi.
Okay, we gotta go.
I gotta go to work.
What if she needs my help?
She doesn't need your help, Ted.
Ted! I need your help.
Ah...
Fine.
But please do not show up
in this for the promo tonight.
Okay. Don't worry.
I'll be there.
I'm gonna look great. Go.
Bye, Ms. Mittens.
Hey, Ruth. How's the hand?
Well, I won't be
juggling anytime soon.
Well, that's a real shame.
What can I do for you?
I was supposed to get
a tree and bring it home.
But now with this...
Say no more.
I would be honored.
You are a prince.
Would you like me to drive?
I'm hurt, Ted. I'm not blind.
Duly noted.
So, you're looking for
a bigger tree, you say?
Well, I've collected a lot of
ornaments in the past 72 years.
How are you collecting ornaments
two decades
before you were born?
That is disgustingly
shameless flattery,
and I so appreciate it.
So...
Hope Newbury, huh?
Hope Newbury.
Blast from the past.
As I recall, you had
quite the crush on her
back in the day.
Why does everyone
keep saying that?
We have eyes, ears.
Ah... we barely even
knew each other.
And besides, she was
way outta my league.
Obviously.
You didn't need to agree
with me so quickly.
You should ask her out
while you're in town.
Ruth Mittens, are you
giving me dating advice?
Oh, hello, big boy.
Hmm. That's a good one.
Yeah.
Do you think you could
find someone who works here
who could help us?
Yeah. Uh...
What about him?
Excuse me.
Afternoon, ma'am.
Uh, my mother is ma'am.
You can call me Ruth.
Actually, you can call me
any time you like.
- Easy, Mittens.
- Mm-hmm.
Uh, my friend here
would like this tree.
You mind helping us cut it down?
It'd be my pleasure.
Maybe you could
help us carry it too.
Any plans while you're in town?
Well, I'm doing promos for
the Gingerbread Invitational.
Which you should come to.
And my sister's having
a Christmas costume party,
which you should
definitely come to.
Oh, a costume party.
Yeah, everyone's dressing up
as their favorite
- Christmas characters.
- I'm in.
Other than that, not much. Why?
Well, I've got this
walking group
with a group of friends of mine.
Do you all wear
matching tracksuits?
Well, it wouldn't be
a walking group without
matching tracksuits.
Do you wanna join?
Absolutely.
Are we lost?
What?
I was following you.
Oh.
Where's that
handsome lumberjack?
Hello?
- Oh.
- Are you guys lost?
Yeah. Afraid so.
Follow me.
Oof!
Ulgh!
You know, there are easier ways
of trying to hang out with me
than injuring yourself.
Are there?
Well, now I feel silly.
What'd you do?
Christmas tree
poked me in the eye.
Every Christmas, Hope,
it's something.
Or multiple somethings.
A whole army of somethings.
Mm-hmm. You must really
hate Christmas.
Are you kidding?
I love Christmas.
Oh.
Maybe I was wrong
about the concussion.
Follow me.
So, how's it been
being back home?
Well, I never intended on
coming back to Lackawanna,
but I do love this hospital.
And if we can raise
enough money for the new
children's wing, I'd love to be
head of pediatrics one day.
Wow. They'd be lucky
to have you.
Lightly scratched.
But I'd like you
to give it a rest, so...
Let's wear an eye patch until
tomorrow morning, if that works.
You can pick one up
at the pharmacy.
Oof!
I gotta be on the air
in less than an hour.
Any chance you guys
have one around here?
Uh...
So, be sure to head on
down to Lackawanna for
the Gingerbread Invitational
and help raise money
for a great cause.
Or shall I say, a great Claus.
We miss you here in Corning,
Ted.
You sure are
a sight for sore eyes.
Good one, Ken.
Yeah, I just noticed your little
fashion accessory there.
Very observant.
Yes, I had my eye poked in a
Christmas tree related accident.
Who here had eye poke in
Christmas related accident?
Oh!
Well, shiver me timbers.
That's unfortunate, Ted.
Sounds like your Christmas
luck hasn't changed.
Lazy pirate humor, Ken.
And it's still plenty
of time for this to be
the best Christmas ever.
In fact, it very well could
be if everyone joins me
at the Gingerbread Invitational.
Hope to see you all there.
Well, as much as
you can anyways.
Right.
So, when making your
holiday plans,
please don't turn a blind eye
to the Lackawanna
Gingerbread Invitational.
And we're clear.
Right.
Thanks.
So, I kinda feel like
the eye patch really helped
elevate the holiday vibes.
I love you, I love you,
you're my brother.
I love you. I love you.
I love you.
It can only get better.
Mornin'.
Mornin'.
I never pegged you
for a Kappa girl.
Real funny.
Have you seen
the latest headlines, matey?
That's good wordplay.
What?
I didn't have a choice, Kate,
the doctor said
I had to wear the eye patch
till this morning.
Which doctor?
Doctor Newbury.
Oh.
You saw Hope again, huh?
- That's very interesting.
- Can I borrow your car?
'Cause I'd love to go get some
clothes so I don't have
to spend the entire holiday
dressed for sorority rush.
Yes, you may.
Thanks. Bye.
Bye.
Get a costume for my party!
Ted!
Ladies, this is Ted Cooper,
a student of mine
and a famous weatherman.
What are you ladies up to?
Is there a modeling
convention in town?
This is the walking group
that I told you about.
Care to join us?
Oh, I would love to,
but I gotta rain check.
I lost my suitcase,
so I have to get
- some new clothes.
- All by yourself?
Not on our watch.
Ladies, put your
step counters to pause.
- We are going shopping.
- Oh!
Okay.
Oh, thanks.
That's nice. Ooh.
- And this.
- Snazzy.
Sure.
Casual handsome.
Oh!
Nice. Okay.
I like this.
Casual dressed up.
Oh, okay.
Pants.
And one more.
- Why not?
- Yes.
Okay.
So I hear that an actor's
coming by the station that day
but I don't know who.
A little while later...
I get a little tap
on the shoulder.
And this voice says to me,
almost whispers in my ear.
Excuse me, are you Ted Cooper?
Who could it be?
And who do I see
standing before me?
But the mountain of a man
that is Mark Harmon.
- Oh, my God, wow!
- He smelled incredible.
Yeah!
Oh! Hey.
- Hi.
- Hi, Hope. This is uh...
the Lackawanna walking crew.
Crew, this is Hope Newbury,
doctor extraordinaire.
Oh, I don't know
about that, but...
This is the one
I was telling you about.
Hi. Nice to meet you.
Are you just, uh,
getting off work?
I am, yeah.
Just used my last brain cell,
was gonna get a coffee
and then bury my face in
a plate of carbs, hopefully.
I did hear there's
a burger deal down the road
at the Fox and Hounds pub.
Two for one.
With all-you-can-eat fries.
Oh, well, you had me
at all-you-can-eat.
You gonna eat both
those burgers yourself?
Uh, well, I... could...
but I shouldn't.
I'm not...
I'm not saying you couldn't,
I was just thinking that
chivalry dictates that
I should probably help
you out with those.
Right.
Let's do it.
Ladies...
it's been a delight.
I will see you soon.
You got that?
Yeah, I think I do.
Can we pop by my car
so I can drop all this off?
Yeah, you might need that.
Got all your stuff?
Wow. Judgey McJudgerson.
No judgment, no.
But I was wondering if
your fan club always
dressed like
retired breakdancers.
That's great.
I gotta text them that.
Oh, you have their numbers.
They added me to the group chat.
- After you.
- Thank you.
Hey, Ted Cooper!
What's up everybody?
Do you want to, um,
grab us a table
and I'll get us some burgers?
I can do that. Yeah.
Okay, great.
What would you like to drink?
Um...
Christmas ale?
Christmas ale.
I like it.
Hey, can I get two
Christmas ales, please?
What I can't believe is
that every single person here...
knew your name.
You're like...
You're, like, that guy.
The... the Norm from Cheers.
That's who you are.
The Norm? Oh, my gosh. Wow.
Well, I grew up here.
Well, so did I.
Yeah, but you moved away.
So did you, and...
I live here now.
You're right.
Kinda sounds like a you issue.
Does it?
No, I'm kidding.
I come here all the time
whenever I'm back in town, so...
Have you ever thought
about moving back?
Funnily enough, I just got
a job offer in Buffalo.
Hmm. Doing the weather?
Mm-hmm.
Well, that sounds like the...
universe aligning for you.
Yeah. I don't know.
Why? What? Why not?
My producer in Corning,
this guy Jerry,
he gave me an opportunity
right out of grad school
when literally
no one else would.
So, I kinda feel like
I owe my career to him.
And Corning itself
has been great to me, so...
But is Corning home?
No, it is not.
I bet you if you asked every
single person in this bar,
they'd tell you to take
the job in Buffalo.
As would I.
- You would?
- Yeah.
You might find this hard
to understand, given you know
every single person
on a first-name basis
within a five-mile radius.
Oh, thank you very much.
But I haven't had
a lot of time to...
Thank you.
Do much socializing, so...
it'd be nice to see
a friendly face.
Wow. Ruth was right.
These burgers do look amazing.
Ooh...
What? What's wrong?
No, nothing.
It's not a big deal.
I just asked for no mayo
and there's mayo.
Mmm, well, I'm sure they
can fix it for you.
Oh, no, no. It's... it's fine.
The, um... the server
is the owner's kid
and I don't wanna
get her in trouble.
It's all good.
Coop, you've been raving
about these burgers.
Everybody here loves you.
I'm sure they'd love
to fix it for you.
It'd be no problem.
Hope it's fine. Really.
I am having far too good
a time to let a little mayo
bring me down.
Well, let's see it.
Very mayo forward.
Uh, hey, whatever happened
to Matt Kroner?
Oh...
we're gonna bring up old
high school exes, are we?
Throwing you off your game
is about the only chance I have.
I don't think you can do that.
Uh... we broke up in college.
Oh, no, I was
really rooting for you guys.
Why'd you break up?
Oh...
I don't know.
He... would never open up.
I don't know, I keep ending up
in these relationships
with guys that...
you know...
don't fight for it.
I mean, I get it.
I work long hours,
and that's hard, but I...
still, I...
You don't have to tell me.
It's the reason I'm single, too.
Women cannot handle
the hustle and grind
of dating a meteorologist.
Mm-hmm.
You know, you haven't
changed a bit from high school.
That bad, huh?
Not at all... I just...
I mean, you have the same...
You know.
Carefree disposition
as you did in class.
Okay, yeah. Great recovery.
I can go with that. Yeah.
What about you?
You look the same.
Albeit with fewer
emo punk t-shirts.
True.
Uh...
But I feel different.
How so?
Give me the crash course
in Hope.
Five things that are
different about you now
from when you were
in high school.
- Oh, five things.
- Mm-hmm.
Feel free to let it, like,
throw you off your game, too.
Right. Yeah, okay. Five things
that are different about Hope.
Well, for one, I...
I speak three different
languages now.
Wow. Okay.
Oh, I make my own ramen.
And I really enjoy
audio books of romance novels.
Okay, what kind of, uh...
spice level are we talking here?
Well, normally I stick to
a PG 13, but recently I have...
I... I meant the ramen.
Okay. I am a sucker
for an escape room, and...
I played a lot of darts
in med school.
- Did you see that?
- Yeah.
Really feel like Hope
from high school
would've let me win one.
Kinda missing her right now.
Wow.
I guess time flies
when you're having fun.
It does.
Hey, I was thinking...
since...
you know, you're covering
the fundraiser.
Um, would you like to come by
the hospital tomorrow and I can
walk you through what
you're raising money for?
Yeah. Yeah, that'd be great.
Okay. It's a, uh...
It's a...
uh... an appointment.
It's an appointment.
Yeah.
Sounds good.
Good night, Ted.
'Night, Hope.
Oh, no.
No!
Come on.
What do I do? What do I do?
Yes. Okay.
Yup.
There we go.
Where are you?
Oh... I found you.
There you are.
Hey, fellas.
No, I don't wanna press charges.
He's my brother.
Sorry, ma'am. We couldn't
confirm he was family.
A lot of Coopers out there.
Okay.
I wonder how the big house
has changed him.
We'll bring him right out.
None other than
National Treasure himself,
Mark Harmon.
Can you believe that?
Dude even smelled handsome.
I don't know how it's possible.
Ooh! Nice PJs.
Thank you.
Brave.
That's not funny.
Merry Christmas everybody!
- Merry Christmas, Ted.
- Merry Christmas, Ted.
It's hard enough being
the favorite, but now I have
the pleasure of telling Dad
his baby boy got arrested.
Has the family newsletter
gone out yet?
You're the worst.
And also the best.
Thanks for bailing me out.
All I'm saying is when
it comes to inheritance,
they take things like
a criminal record into account.
By that standard,
you should probably fire me
from promoting the Invitational.
You have a good point.
I mean, I did give the promos
to all of my events
to the unluckiest guy
in the world.
What if I didn't
pick up my phone?
Yeah, but you did.
And outside of some
light incarceration,
I had a great day.
I hung out with Ruth
and her walking crew.
I got a bunch of clothes.
I had dinner with Hope.
You went out with Hope?
Well, I did... no, no.
I didn't go out with Hope.
Like, I was with Hope, and...
We were out.
Cool your jets, all right.
It was a friendly hang.
But I am seeing her tomorrow.
She's gonna tell me all about
the new children's wing.
I figured it'd be
good for the promos.
Huh.
You know who else
could've told you about
the children's wing?
- Hmm.
- Your sister.
The fundraising coordinator.
Yeah, but she's
just so darn busy.
Good night.
Oh, by the way.
The new studio called
while you were in jail.
They wanna talk logistics
about the new promo.
What did you tell them?
Uh... who had Ted goes to jail?
- So, Coop.
- Mm-hmm.
He's not really your type.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
What's my type?
Nice car, well-groomed beard.
- Oh...
- Emotionally unavailable.
Yeah.
Complete opposite of my type.
Which is?
Ooh, tall, muscular.
- Really into Taylor Swift.
- Uh-huh.
Worships me.
Mmm.
I have not met him yet,
sure, but...
- He's out there.
- Yeah.
I believe it.
Hey.
Oh, look at that,
it's our hospital's
most valuable customer.
What can I say? I love
to support local business.
Mmm.
All right, well,
I'm gonna go do my job, so...
See ya, Coop.
Bye, Syd.
Good to see you again.
Ready for the tour?
Oh, yeah.
It's gonna be 20 more rooms.
All private.
Um, two more operating rooms
and a garden on the roof.
- On the roof?
- Yeah.
Wow.
Oh.
Hospitals can be
a scary place for kids.
Well, everyone... really.
You try to make it
as comfortable as possible.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Amelia wanted to come
and say thank you.
Oh, you're welcome.
ASL?
- My father was deaf.
- Oh.
Amelia made gingerbread cookies.
Mmm! Amelia.
Delicious. Thank you.
She's wondering if
you'd like to try one.
Absolutely. I would love to.
Mmm!
Mmm!
Mmm, mmm, mmm!
Hmm?
Is that peanut butter?
Yes.
It's her secret ingredient.
Is it?
Wow, that is...
That is very, very good.
Thanks for everything, Hope.
I know I didn't get a chance
earlier to say, but, uh...
I'm really sorry to hear about
the passing of your dad.
And if you ever need anything,
please let Ron and I know, okay?
I will.
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
Hope, I'm so sorry.
I didn't know about your dad.
Oh, well, I didn't...
talk about it.
I don't talk about it.
It's why I came back
to Lackawanna.
Yeah.
I knew he wasn't doing so well.
So he, um...
died three months ago.
He... you okay?
No. I'm so sorry about all that.
Do you have an EpiPen?
Are you allergic
to peanut butter?
- Yes, massively.
- Give me the cookie.
Doesn't hurt.
Your face is swelling.
Why...
would you eat the cookie?
Okay, first of all, Hope...
Who puts peanut butter
in a gingerbread cookie?
No one. That's who.
Also, what am I gonna do,
spit it out? Really?
Did you see her big doe eyes?
Arm in a little cast.
Not a chance.
Ted.
I was gonna go home
and finally decorate, but...
now we're gonna have to keep you
under close observation.
Oh, do you?
No, we actually do.
It's, it's...
- Protocol.
- Oh, it's protocol. Yup.
Understood. Uh... well...
I could help you.
Hmm.
Okay.
Start this guy up top.
- Feeding.
- Feeding.
Feeding. Feeding.
Let's go decorate a tree.
What do I smell?
Is that frosting and anxiety?
The costume party is tonight
and I have 7,000 things
I need to do.
How can I help?
I'm so glad you asked.
You can call Hope and
invite her to the party.
She wants you to ask her out.
How do you know?
Because she likes you.
You think so?
I am pretty likable.
Call her.
Ouch.
That was a long conversation.
Hmm?
Yeah, whew, she is, uh...
quite the chatterbox.
She said she's, um, gonna see
what time she gets off work
and try to come.
What's wrong?
Nothing's wrong.
You're sweating.
I'm warm.
It's 30 degrees out.
I'm an athlete, Kate, I run hot.
I'm an athlete, Kate,
so I run hot.
Shady, shady brother.
No voicemail, no voicemail,
no voice...
Hey. What's up, Hope?
It's Ted.
Cooper.
From high school and...
earlier this week.
And your dreams. Nope.
Hey, what's up, Ted?
It's Hope.
Nope. Come on, be a human.
No, no, no, no, no.
'Sup, girl?
It's your boy, TC... eww.
No, no.
You got this. You got this!
Easy breezy, easy breezy.
Hey, what's up?
Oh, no.
Come on!
Hi, Hope.
This is Kate Cooper.
Hope!
Hey! Wow.
Awesome Scrooge costume.
Costume you say?
I worked on that
the whole... whole way here.
I love that you
arrived in character, uh...
But why are you here right now?
Kate called me.
She said there was
a costume party.
I had to come.
Oh!
Did she?
Yeah. Okay.
Well, that's... that's great.
No, it's just that the...
uh, the party doesn't start
for another hour.
Oh...
Uh... I thought you said 6:00.
Huh? I did?
Oh, I... I thought I said 7:00.
I don't think so.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I, uh, I meant 7:00.
Oops.
Oops.
- Carry on.
- Uh-huh.
Yeah. Her...
Come on in, milady.
Uh...
I regret the accent.
No, I... I respected
the commitment.
Will you give me a minute?
I have to talk to
Kate real quick.
- Go, go, go...
- Ow!
- What?
- What are you doing?
You didn't invite her
to the party.
How do you know that?
Because I saw the screen footage
of you leaving her
a thousand messages.
That is an invasion of privacy.
You pick the one place
on the entire property
that's right in front
of the camera.
And what I saw, Ted...
it was bone-chilling.
It was like watching a car
accident in slow motion.
I froze up!
I didn't know what to say.
It's because you like her.
Oh, of course I like her!
Have you seen her? Kate.
She's smart and funny
and beautiful.
And she's great with kids.
Why are you trying so hard
to set us up?
Because I am your sister,
and I love you,
and I want you to be happy!
Fine. I love you, too.
Get out there.
- Hey.
- Hi.
It's so nice that your sister
still lives in your family home.
Yeah, she bought it from my dad
when he retired to Arizona.
Oh.
Well, tell him hi.
Not that he'll remember me.
Who could forget you?
Look what I found.
Mind if I take a look?
- Go for it.
- Our yearbook.
It's been a minute.
Oh. Uh... what?
What... what is... what is...
what is your quote?
- Hmm.
- "I'll spread my wings.
"I'll learn how to fly.
"I'll do what it takes
to touch the sky."
Kelly Clarkson. Mmm.
I'm really regretting
that one now.
Mmm.
Okay, let's see yours.
"Certainty of death.
Small chance of success.
"What are we waiting for?"
Gimli.
- Who's Gimli?
- What?
Are you kidding?
From Lord of the Rings.
Brave warrior dwarf.
Loyal. Stubborn. What?
Mmm. I could see that.
Okay.
Nice burn.
All right.
Hope Newbury. Most popular.
Smartest. Most talented.
Most likely to succeed.
Were you on the yearbook staff?
That feels excessive.
Yeah. Okay.
Ted Cooper.
Most likely to report
the weather
at a mid-sized TV station.
That is bizarrely accurate.
Wow.
Aww, look at these cuties.
Ooh.
Still how we are to this day.
Us against the world.
You two seem close.
Yeah, we are.
Kate kinda pulled double duty
as big sister and parent.
Oh.
Our mom left when we were young,
so she really stepped up
and helped raise me.
To this day, she still blames me
for her premature frown lines.
Okay.
You were...
cute in high school.
I was?
I mean, I think...
we might have gotten along.
Given...
you drew a big
red heart around my face.
Is that... what...
is that what that is?
Yeah, that's what it is.
Whoo.
Why didn't you ask me out?
Did you not see
the superlatives page?
I loved AV club
and science fair.
It literally never
occurred to me
that a girl like you
would be into a guy like me.
Hmm.
Well, I...
I would've.
Really wishing we'd had this
conversation when we were 18.
Mmm.
Are you still?
Still what?
Into guys who love AV club
and science fair?
Ted, can you get that?
- Okay.
- Yeah!
Let me grab my hat.
Oh... Jacob Marley!
- Hi, everybody.
- Hi!
Come on in.
Drinks and snacks in the back.
Dance floor is in the barn.
Howdy. Ooh! Milady.
Sure thing. Hi. Okay.
Did you all drive
in the same car?
- And, and...
- Wow.
Party bus.
Clown car.
Now, this is a party.
See what I mean, girls?
Ruth!
Hey. Wow, you look great.
You look pretty cool yourself.
Thanks. Yeah. Hi, everyone!
Ooh!
What is it like being big sister
to New York's most likable man?
Exhausting.
Is he always like this?
Pretty much.
He just always likes to see
the good in the world, you know?
Yeah.
Well, it's admirable.
I think I could...
use a little more
of that in my life.
Okay.
Hi.
Check out Tiny Tim
tearing up the dance floor.
I know! We were just saying.
Who... who even is he?
- Where is he from?
- Do you know him, Kate?
He's from my office.
Losing the stick.
Oh, my gosh.
Go, Tim!
I don't think he needs
that crutch.
Nicely done!
Whoo!
All right, you two.
- It's time for you...
- No, no.
To get out on the dance floor
and show Tim how it's done.
I can't, I cannot.
Gotta show Tim how it's done.
You show him how it's done.
Mm-hmm.
Watch, I go low with it, too.
Ooh!
- But then I come back up.
- Yeah.
Whoo! Turn it to a slow song.
Turn it to a slow song.
Shall we?
Is this your first time
dancing with the snowman?
It is, yes.
How is it going so far?
It's your first time dancing
with a Scrooge?
Weirdly enough, no.
Thank you. I had a...
really nice time tonight.
Yeah. Me too.
Hey.
I was thinking, um...
If...
Uh, um...
Err... never mind.
I... I bet you... you probably
gotta get going.
Well, I don't...
I don't have to go this...
like, this very second.
- Oh.
- I mean...
- If there's...
- I was just...
- Oh, you go.
- What, wait...
- Okay.
- No...
It, uh... it's... it's nothing.
I can wait.
You sure?
Yeah.
Okay.
Night, Ted.
Night, Hope.
Hi.
Hi.
I meant to ask you
something at the party,
but I, um...
chickened out.
That was the extent
of my ASL, so...
- Is that a yes?
- Yes, that was a...
that was a yes.
Okay. So far,
we have a...
intimate trip to
a scrapbooking store,
and Salisbury steak,
and bingo night.
Do we have any other
date suggestions?
Don't limit yourself
to Lackawanna.
Maybe get out of town
for the day.
Get out...
Ruth Mittens,
you magnificent angel.
You just gave me an idea.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Wow.
You clean up nicely.
Oh! I, uh... I just, um...
went with Christmas theme.
You look nice, too.
Thanks. You ready?
Yeah. What are we doing?
I thought we'd have a little,
uh, fancy dinner at Chez Henry.
Chez Henry?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, I should change.
No, I'm just kidding with you.
You're actually perfectly
dressed for what we're gonna do.
- Okay.
- You're gonna love it.
Okay.
- Ready?
- Yep. Okay.
You're comfortable
around horses, right?
You're...
You're joking, right?
Um...
Ooh...
Greetings, fellow elves,
and welcome to
Escape from Santa's Workshop.
My name is Brendan,
and I, like you, am an...
elf, who...
Oh...
Sorry.
I just got back to town.
I was partying with
my elf buddies all night.
Didn't realize I was
pulling a solo shift today.
You're doing great, Brendan.
Thanks, man.
I've been working hard to get
the toys built
for Christmas, but...
Santa left without a toy.
A toy for one of
the nicest kids in the world.
No...
Your goal is to make it
out of the workshop
and use Christmas magic to
get the toy into this child's
living room before morning.
You have an hour.
If you need help, just say,
"Brendan, I need help!"
and I can give you a hint
from the North Pole.
Finally, Santa has a 'no phones
in the workshop' policy,
so we ask that you
leave them here.
It's Santa's policy.
Your smartwatch.
- And the smartwatch?
- Yeah.
Well, Santa is a stickler.
Stickler.
Exit out the back door.
Take a left.
All right.
Thanks, Brendan.
You got it.
Let's do this.
Oh... okay.
Santa's workshop
certainly got an upgrade.
Yeah, definitely not warm,
cozy holiday vibes,
but I dig it.
Ho, ho, ho!
Welcome merry participants.
You have 59 minutes
to earn your freedom.
You good?
Good. Yeah.
Did you scream?
- I think it was the machine.
- I think I heard you scream.
No, I don't... nope.
Don't know.
Wow.
Okay, I got boxes.
Okay.
We got some switches.
Oh! Elves.
Lots of elves.
Hey!
We got a black light over here.
Okay.
Well, they have some kind of...
security ID on here.
Okay. Makes sense.
Santa has a lot of
top-secret tech.
The elves need clearance.
Yeah. Makes total sense.
Okay, there's arrows
on the boxes.
Okay. Let's think.
Six elves.
Six boxes.
One toy sack.
Well, maybe the arrows
are a misdirect.
Oh. That's good.
Well...
Hey, wait. Do yours have
a barcode on the back?
They do.
Maybe they need to be scanned?
- Black light!
- Black light.
Fifty-six.
Ooh.
Twenty-two.
Eighty-four.
Eighty-six, twenty-two,
eighty-four.
That's got to be
a combination, right?
- There's gotta be a lock.
- Lock.
Let's look for a lock.
If I were a lock...
where would I be?
- Lock.
- Lock.
Nice!
Okay.
Fifty-six.
Twenty-two.
Eighty-four.
Okay...
You wanna reach in there?
No. I don't wanna reach
in there.
Yeah. Fair enough.
Oh.
It's a teddy bear.
But not just any teddy bear.
A Christmas present.
Toy sack.
Ho, ho, ho!
You've escaped from
Santa's workshop
with the gift in record time.
Proceed to the Santa's
sleigh launchpad!
- What's up, now?
- Record time.
- What's up?
- We're incredible.
Oh. Okay.
Keep your eyes peeled for clues.
Brendan!
That's enough!
Oh, my gosh.
Whoa!
So, this is how he delivers
billions of presents
in one night.
Santa 5.0.
Enter launch code.
What was our code?
56, 22, 84?
Yeah.
Not it. All right.
We are looking for
a new launch code.
Okay, we got this.
Hey.
The sleigh has a license plate
that says 'baggage'.
Huh.
Okay.
What kind of baggage?
Well, there's a giant toy sack.
That's... that's a bag, right?
Good point.
Yeah.
Okay.
Anything?
No, there's
nothing else in here.
Wait a sec.
Baggage.
Okay. Hear me out.
What if they're not letters?
What if they're musical notes?
- Ooh.
- Mm-hmm.
- You're good.
- Yeah.
Ooh. One problem.
I can't read music.
- Can you?
- No.
That's gonna be a bit
of a stumbling block.
Let me hop down.
Do you think...
I mean, as much as
it hurts my ego,
we ask for a little help?
Brendan, we need a clue!
Brendan, a little help, buddy!
He's, uh...
- He's taking his sweet time.
- Yeah.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
Santa's sleigh launch aborted.
Christmas is canceled.
Have a holly, jolly failure.
Well, that was
a little dramatic.
Yeah.
Brendan!
Brendan?
Brendan!
You know, I could think of
worse places to be trapped.
- Really?
- Yeah.
I could think of better.
Somewhere with...
food.
Oh.
Food, you say?
You think this is funny?
Yeah.
We can't escape
from an escape room.
It's a little bit funny.
We don't have any water.
Hmm.
Or cell phones.
Don't you have a promo
first thing in the morning?
- Yeah.
- I've gotta work.
I think we're within
our rights to be, you know...
a little upset.
Yeah, but being upset
isn't gonna help us
get out of the room.
So I'd rather
count my blessings.
We're inside.
We have a very cozy place
to sit down.
Thank you, sleigh.
And my promo's not for 12 hours.
We have plenty of time.
Besides, I'm sure Brendan's
gonna let us out any minute.
Let's see.
What have we got?
Yep.
And it's morning.
Well, at least the, um...
sleigh is comfortable.
You were right about that.
Yeah.
Company's not bad either.
I wish I got to know you
in high school.
Yeah.
At least we're getting
to know each other now.
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
Then... lay it on me.
Give me...
the peek behind the curtain.
- Oh.
- Who is...
- Ted Cooper?
- Oh, wow.
Well...
for starters, I am
a codependent people pleaser.
Go on.
My therapist would
tell you it is
due to my mom leaving
when we were young.
My dad never quite
recovering from that.
And then my sister
picking up his slack,
and then me learning to
make myself as small as possible
so as to not create more
work for the two of them.
Upside is I'm fun at parties.
How about you?
Lay it on me.
Listen, I don't... no.
I don't want a highlight reel,
I want the baggage.
Baggage. Okay.
Um...
Well, last year was a nightmare.
I moved back here,
I lost my dad.
And I go between saving lives
and being two cats away
from becoming a spinster.
I'm also three inches taller
than I'm comfortable with.
Ahh.
- Just three inches?
- Yeah.
No, but seriously, I...
I could never do what you do.
But it must
feel nice knowing that
your job literally makes
the world a better place.
I think you're amazing, Hope.
Is this how you pictured
the date ending?
Weirdly enough...
this is exactly how
I pictured the date ending.
Uh... hey, guys.
Uh, so sorry about that.
Um...
as an apology for the whole
accidental captivity thing,
how about a 50 percent discount
next time you come back?
- That's nice, Brendan.
- Mm-hmm.
Good morning.
Wow.
Where have you been?
Got stuck in an
escape room all night.
Hi Hope.
This is not a time for jokes.
- Less than a minute.
- Not a joke. How's my hair?
Yes, it's good. It's perfect.
You look great. Yeah.
- Break a leg.
- Yeah.
Ted?
Hello?
You with us, buddy?
Indeed I am, Ken.
I am here live at
the Lackawanna Community Center
where there has
never been a more
beautiful morning.
Thank you... Ted.
And these local bakers are
trying to set a state record
for the largest gingerbread man
in New York history.
And why not a world record?
Well, because the world record
is over 32ft tall, Ken,
and we don't have
the budget for that.
So, come on down
and help raise money
for the local
children's hospital.
I, for one, can't think of
a more delicious way
to raise money for a good cause.
Can you?
Reporting live from Lackawanna.
I'm Ted Cooper.
And we're clear.
Thank you.
That was great, I love you.
I am going to kill you.
Where were you?
I mean, I am very happy, but you
did not come home last night.
And I want to hug you,
and I wanna strangle you.
I have conflicting feelings.
Yeah, I see that.
Uh, listen...
I, uh, I got stuck
in an escape room.
Like I said, I can't talk now.
I love you and we'll talk later.
So, what are you doing
with the rest of your day?
Um...
Well, I have a shift.
I've gotta work till 6:00.
Oof! Ouch.
Well...
how about I call you
after you get off, and...
maybe we can grab a drink, or...
get stuck in another
local establishment.
Uh, we should be so lucky.
Good morning, Hope.
Good morning, Ted.
Hey.
Hey, look who's home.
Keys, lover boy.
I got places to be.
And I am going to take
a long winter's nap.
Wait, quick reminder,
you have one more promo
this afternoon before
the big event tomorrow.
Yes, I will take a ride-share.
Okay.
Just don't get thrown in jail
between now and then.
No promises.
That... that's Ted, isn't it?
- Well, I mean...
- Yeah. Thought so.
Yeah.
Wait, you like him.
I can't remember the last time
I had this much fun.
How many guys would take you
to an escape room
on our first date?
Hmm?
All right, Ted Cooper,
you smooth operator.
Wait. When are you
seeing him again?
Tonight.
Well, okay.
Well, I guess dinner
with me and the others
is out of the question.
- Have fun with your plans.
- Okay.
You Ed?
Last I checked.
Wasn't expecting a limo.
Well, surprise, surprise.
Yeah.
I'm digging the vibe
in here, man.
Five star vibes
are what I'm about.
Crank those tunes back up, Ed.
Right on, man!
Fa la la la la,
la la la la.
'Tis the season
to be jolly.
Fa la la la la,
la la la la.
So, tomorrow, if you have plans,
cancel them.
If you have work, call in sick.
And if you have
a hot date, tell them
it's not them, it's you.
Because you'll be in Lackawanna
at the Gingerbread Invitational.
Back to you, Ken.
Uh...
Thanks... Ted.
Anything new? Because I'm not
seeing any casts on body parts
or missing teeth or any
apparent symptoms of illness.
I'm worried.
Is everything okay?
It's like I told you, Ken.
It was only a matter of time
before my Christmas
bad luck turned around.
That's not frosting.
Hello?
Hi.
Um...
Sorry, I was, uh... looking
for Ted.
Ted? He's with me.
We're going to a Christmas rave.
Who's this?
Um... uh...
It doesn't matter.
You dropped your phone, Ted.
My name's not Ted, it's Ed.
Then whose phone is this?
Wait, another woman answered?
You're telling me
Ted Cooper's a player?
Well, I... I mean... he...
doesn't seem like
the kind of guy, but...
Is he?
Do you want me to
track him down?
Liam Neeson style.
I have a very particular
set of skills.
Oh, that won't be necessary.
Is it too late to join
you for dinner?
I don't wanna wait around here.
Oh, of course.
Thank you.
Have you seen my phone?
No. Do you want me to call it?
Yes, please.
Do you hear it?
No.
It's ringing.
Voicemail.
Hello? Yes.
Okay. That's fine.
Why don't you take me
through the problem first?
- All right. Yeah.
- Kate.
- Kate.
- What?
Can I borrow the car real quick?
Why?
Because I told Hope
that I'd call her.
I don't want her
to think I'm a flake.
- Okay.
- Okay, sorry. Is that a work...
- Hi...
- Is that a work call?
Yes.
Love you.
I am so sorry about that.
Yes, my phone has just
been on the fritz lately.
Mind if I borrow your phone?
Are you really calling
her this early?
Yeah.
Come on, Hope.
'Kay, so I've ordered
the ultrasound, the X-ray.
The bloodwork.
She's not picking up.
Well, Hope's a doctor.
She's probably busy.
Speaking of busy, I have to go.
Goodbye.
Wait, wait, wait. Am I
overthinking this whole thing?
'Cause it did seem like
we were really clicking.
Ted, I'm sure
whatever is going on,
if anyone can
work it out, it's you.
But if you make me any later
than I already am,
I will hurt you in ways
you can't imagine.
- Understood.
- Okay.
- See ya.
- Wait, wait, wait.
How am I gonna call a car
without my phone?
Walk.
- Ah...
- Hm.
Whoa!
Hug?
No hug. Yeah.
No hug. Okay.
- Bye, Ted.
- Bye.
Have a great day!
She didn't say it back.
Ted!
We were trying to call you.
Oh, I lost my phone.
What's up?
Well...
the girls and I
pitched in and, well...
Here.
- For me?
- Mm-hmm.
Aww! Thank you.
No way!
Aww, this is awesome!
Thank you.
Aww.
I gotta pop this on right now.
I'm part of the crew.
Is everything okay, Ted?
You seem a little...
less enthusiastic than normal.
Especially given that outfit.
Uh, keep going, girls.
We'll catch up.
Well, I, uh, I assure you,
it's not the outfit.
The outfit is incredible. Um...
It's Hope.
We were supposed to talk
last night, but I lost my phone.
So, I went to her house,
and I left a note, but...
she never called.
I'm just kinda spinning out,
wondering if she's having
second thoughts.
Nuh-uh.
In life and in love,
there will be so many situations
where you get your
wires crossed.
Don't assume the worst.
It's just like in the movies,
young couples are always
breaking up because of some
silly misunderstanding.
Rock Hudson and Doris Day.
Robert Redford and Jane Fonda.
Leonardo DiCaprio
and Kate Winslet.
Yeah, they didn't break up.
He died.
Because they misunderstood
how big that door really was.
Don't fall into the same
trap as everyone else.
As Cher would say,
snap out of it.
You will talk to her again soon.
I know it.
Thanks, Ruth.
Hello?
Uh... hey, is, uh...
is this Hope?
Ted?
No, Ed.
I found this phone
in my ride this morning.
I'm just calling all
the recent callers,
trying to figure out
who it belongs to.
So, wait, you... you've had...
Ted's phone since last night?
Ted Cooper?
I remember him. Sweet dude.
I gave him a ride yesterday.
Tell you what, if you can
give me his address...
Oh!
I've done it again.
Oh, you... what?
What did you do?
That thing.
The thing that I do.
Ugh, I gotta go find Ted.
Thank you. Thank you.
So, what should I do
with Ted's phone?
Yeah, yeah.
I'll call you back.
Hello? Hello?
Hey!
There you are.
Where have you been?
What are you wearing?
Never mind.
That doesn't matter right now.
Well, actually...
That's a whole thing.
That's a lot.
Is everything all right?
No, I mean...
it wasn't.
I called you
last night, and this...
this girl, she...
picked up the phone and she
said she was with you and I...
You know, I didn't know
how to take that.
- Oh.
- I just...
I realized that, you know,
it's not like we're exclusive
or anything, I mean,
we've just been on one date.
I... I was just, like,
that's not cool.
Yeah.
That doesn't seem like
something Ted would do.
But then...
you didn't call me, so I...
Did you get my note?
No, I...
Yeah... I left a note
for you on your front door.
Well, a driver called and
said that he had your phone.
Ed has my phone?
- Oh...
- Of course you know the driver.
Listen, Ted.
I was so mad at myself
for sitting around,
waiting for you to call,
that I just, I, um...
I gave up.
And I do that sometimes.
I do, and I shouldn't,
and I'm sorry.
What's so funny?
Ruth, she called this.
It's a classic misunderstanding.
When you thought I got the note
and then I didn't call you...
Were you worried?
Yeah, I was worried that
you were having second thoughts,
but now I'm just... I'm glad
that we cleared it up.
Well, no, I'm glad
that we cleared it up.
I... I think I'm just trying
to talk about,
you know, what we were feeling.
Okay. Yeah, I... I get that.
Do you?
Get that?
Uh...
Are you upset that
I'm not upset?
Well, no, I...
Well, now, maybe I think
I'm upset that you never
get upset.
I... I get upset.
Do you? 'Cause I feel like
you're happy all the time.
No, but...
even if I was, I mean, is there
anything wrong with that?
No. It's just...
I think it makes it hard for me
to understand you sometimes.
Okay. Um...
What, uh, what...
what don't you understand?
For one...
why wouldn't you take
the job in Buffalo?
Well that, see,
that's complicated, right?
- Because Jerry gave me...
- No, Ted.
This great opportunity
when no one else would.
I know, I know. It's the job.
It's the... the cookie.
It's the mayo on the burger.
It's... it's... it's everything.
I don't... I don't know why you
would give up what you want
just to make everybody
else happy.
I don't like being
an imposition.
Advocating for yourself
isn't an imposition.
Ted, I like so much about you,
I do, I really do.
I just, I think...
you know, when life gets hard,
and it does, all the time
in my line of work, I'm...
I'm just not sure that I can
be with someone that keeps it
so surface all the time.
If you, uh...
I mean, if you think I just
bury my head in the sand...
I don't think you really
know me at all.
Then help me know you.
I think there's so much more
to Ted
than you let any of us see.
Merry Christmas, Ted.
Hope, wait.
You seem
uncharacteristically positive.
Hey, man, we already hit
our fundraising goal.
- We did it.
- What?
You did it!
Congratulations.
Thank you.
Are you okay?
Yeah.
No.
Hope and I had a fight.
Wow.
You got into a fight?
I didn't know you had it in you.
Well...
Hope fought.
I kinda just stood there
and took it.
Oh.
Walk with me.
I'm gonna say something
nice to you,
but don't get used to it,
because it is only
gonna happen once.
Okay.
You deserve everything
good in life.
But...
you hold yourself back.
You need to go after
what you want.
It might be too late.
That's something people say
when they're scared.
You're gonna be okay.
You're gonna tell her
how you feel
and you'll be back
annoying me in no time.
Us against the world?
Us against the world.
- Hey.
- Hmm?
What you've done here
is incredible.
Have you taken a moment
to appreciate that?
Yeah.
No, dude. I'm serious.
Look around you.
This took a Herculean effort,
and you crushed it.
Soak it in.
It's moments like these
that make you almost
worth the frown lines.
Almost.
Almost.
So, um...
that's what you're wearing
to the Gingerbread
Invitational fair?
Oh, I'm not going.
Got it. Okay.
You told me on the phone
you don't wanna run into Ted.
That's right.
Then why are you here?
Because I think you're
being ridiculous.
Hope, let me get this straight.
You're mad at him for not
being mad at you, right?
Yeah!
He's happy.
All the time.
Oh, no!
A handsome, gainfully employed
man in a good mood.
I think he's just
trying to impress you.
He's trying to impress everyone.
So, he cares about everyone.
How terrible.
Look...
I have watched you go through
some really hard times,
and I wanted to help,
but I don't know how.
And then here comes Ted Cooper.
And he has put a smile
on your face ever since
he came back into town.
Hope, that's a beautiful thing.
What are you scared of?
I've just...
Lost a lot.
Starting to feel like
everybody leaves.
And maybe...
Maybe it's me.
Hope.
I only think it's you
if you leave him
on the other side of the city.
Fight for him.
I'm here in Lackawanna where
the Gingerbread Invitational
is officially underway.
The giant gingerbread man
behind me will soon be measured
to determine whether or not
it has set a state record
for the largest gingerbread man
in New York history.
Until then, I'll be here
hanging out with members
of my hometown,
discussing the art of baking...
Okay, Hope.
Big breath, big breath.
And of course, Christmas.
- Go get him.
- Okay.
- You got it.
- I know, I know, I know.
Let's talk to some folks,
shall we?
You two. Oh, come on.
Dressed to the nines.
What is it that you love
about Christmas?
You're not going up there?
No, I hate crowds.
Yeah. Me too.
Last time I braved the crowd
like this was the Eras tour.
You went to the Eras tour?
Oh, I wouldn't have missed it.
Oh.
Well. Hi.
I'm Sydney.
Brandon.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Let's see, who else?
Yes, you.
What is it that you love
about Christmas?
Oh, I like Christmas
because of the presents.
And my Grandma and Grandpa
come to town.
And because I like presents.
I think you said presents twice.
I like presents.
I see you do.
Well, I hope you get everything
you hope for this year.
Who else?
Ma'am.
How about you?
Yes. You.
- Oh, no.
- Oh, come on,
Don't be shy.
Come on.
- Hi. Uh...
- Hey.
What is it that you are
hoping for this Christmas?
Um...
- World peace.
- Mmhmm, mmhmm.
It seems like a... a good one.
- Sure.
- Um...
A, uh... you know...
goodwill to everyone.
Yeah.
- Goes without saying.
- Yeah.
And, um...
Maybe a conversation
that's not on-air.
Well, it, uh... sounds like
the perfect time
to throw it back to you
in the studio, Ken.
And we're clear.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Oh, it's good to see you.
Can I go first?
I'm aware that I am
chronically optimistic
and that I brightside
every situation.
But I do get sad,
and I do get angry.
And I can do better
at showing that.
And you were right.
I don't advocate for myself
or fight for what I want
nearly as much as
I could or should.
But I can do better.
And I... I... I will...
do better.
Starting with you.
I took the job in Buffalo.
You did?
Yeah.
It's a great opportunity
and, um...
happens to be much closer
to the girl I like.
That's good news.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
What did your producers
in Corning say?
I don't know.
I didn't ask.
[Field Producer
Coming back in three..
Two... one.
We're li... we're live.
We're... Ted!
Ted, we're live!
Hey! It's Ted. Come on.
Oh, my God!
Ken gave me odds
of 10,000 to one!
I'm rich!
I'm gonna have to sell my boat.
Ted!
Ted, we're live!
Whoo!
Oh.
Yeah.
Best Christmas ever.
If you haven't already done so,
please consider donating
to the Lackawanna
Children's Hospital.
I can't think of
a more worthy cause
this holiday season.
From Lackawanna, I'm Ted Hooper.
No, I'm not.
Kiss got me flustered.
From Lackawanna, I'm Ted Cooper.
Merry Christmas.
And we're clear.
Honestly, thank goodness.
That was a...
professional first for me.
Well...
Guess my Christmas bad luck
is finally behind me.