Merry Heistmas (2025) Movie Script

1
(tape unspooling)
[Dizzy] Watch it, Cole.
[Cole] Cmon, Dizzy, quiet. Shhh.
[Dizzy] You shush.
[Cole] Shhh.
(cans rattling)
[Dizzy] Okay, okay, okay.
[Cole] Shh.
[Dizzy] Come on, Cole.
(Cole sighs) Okay.
[Cole] Here we go.
(footsteps)
(blinds rattle)
All right, Dizzy. Count us off.
[Dizzy] One... two...
here we go.
[Cole] Jolly Old Saint Nicholas,
lean your ear this way.
[Dizzy] Don't you tell a single soul
what I'm going to say.
[Both] Christmas Eve is coming soon.
Now, you dear old man,
whisper what youll bring to me.
Tell me if you can.
[Cole] When the clock is striking
36-24-36.
When Im fast asleep.
(chirping and whirring)
[Dizzy] Down the chimney, broad and black.
Men sure are creeps.
[both, harmonizing] All the
stockings you will find hanging in a row.
Mine will be the shortest one.
You'll be sure to know.
You said he'd be at the porta potties.
But Im not. Am I dum-dum?
(swing music)
-What the...? Damnit. -Did you start us singing too slow?
73 bpm. My internal metronome is never off.
Did you clock him wrong?
No. He's just not where he's supposed
to be because he's a bad security guard.
Caught you, didnt I?
-(walkie shatters) -(feedback)
[Guard] Damn it!
Let's pick up the tempo.
Thats what your booby trap is for.
Booby trap?
-(tape rips) -(cans clatter)
-(guard hits floor) -Ugh!
No time for an encore.
Lets get out of here.
(shuffling feet)
Merry Christmas to all.
And to all,
a good night!
(Cole chuckles)
It was just Thanksgiving.
(swing music)
-(music ends) -(zipper)
All right.
That is half.
Is there anything else you'd
like me to do for you this evening?
You could learn to disarm
electronic security systems.
That would make my job easier.
That is your job?
That's... That's your whole job.
And it would be easier if you learned to do it.
You didn't even have to do your job tonight.
Because I found the combination on the desk.
Yeah. Easy money.
Don't stick around here too long. Okay?
I can't babysit you in case we were followed.
Annies got a concert at 830.
Its 10.
Thank you, Dizzy.
Missing your own daughter's
concert to steal some money.
I'm sorry. Did you want to give back your half?
I do not.
Not my fault that her concerts
on the same night that I planned for this job.
And you could have planned
this job for a different night.
See?
- That's why I make the plans. - (jazzy music )
I mean it.
Don't stick around here, Dizzy.
Be smart.
I'm not going to visit you in prison.
(car door shuts)
(jazzy music continues)
Dad?
Annie!
Wh... why arent you backstage?
Isn't it bad luck to see a singer before the concert?
Concert's over, dad.
Started at eight.
It's 10:30.
Now how did I get that mixed up?
You thought this was maybe one of those
cool after hours college choir concerts?
Well, I don't know, Annie. I never went to college. Okay.
I don't know these things.
Just because you didn't go to
college doesn't mean I'm an idiot.
You know, they performed two of my songs tonight.
You... You sang two of your songs?
The choir did.
Wait.
Aren't you in the choir?
I arranged the tunes for the choir.
Oh, Annie.
Come on. This is your last year of college.
You're such a good singer.
-You shouldn't be afraid to show it off. -To who?
Oh, your mom didn't come either.
Mom lives 2000 miles away now.
You live across town.
Your mom moved?
Does that bother you?
Annie, your mom and I divorced a long time ago.
And I always said she was better off without me.
That could be your motto.
[Miguel] Hi, Annie.
Miguel. (Annie laughs)
Are you just sitting out here alone?
No, I mean, yes, but I have a
rehearsal for that Christmas thing.
So yeah... just, uh, waiting for the others.
Yeah. (they laugh)
Uh, you, um, sounded really great tonight.
-In the concert. The whole choir. -Oh yeah. You did too.
Your songs did.
I thought her songs were the best ones.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree.
-He did not hear them. He wasn't there. -Oh.
Does your quartet still need an arrangement
for the Heart of Christmas Soiree audition?
Are you in his quartet?
-No. -Oh. Do you sing. Annie?
Oh, my God, she's an amazing singer.
Knock it off, dad.
Wha... So what is this gig?
Oh, it's uh, its an audition
for this Christmas Eve thing.
Um, and if we get it, it pays $2,000 apiece.
$2,000?
This is like for singing, right?
Oh yeah. The guy who throws it,
he's rich and super into Christmas.
And, he invites a few of his rich friends and shows off
his giant diamond or something.
-(funky music) -I'm gonna head back to my dorm.
Bye, dad.
I'm sorry, did...
did you see a giant diamond?
Uh. Yeah.
He hires different carolers every year um...
Annie left though so...
Oh.
It's nice to meet you.
I don't suppose you know
anything else about this soiree thing?
I've never had the gig, but um...
you could Google it?
I could Google it. Yes.
Thank you, Miguel.
Very helpful.
(funky music ends)
-Annie. -Oh my God!
You scared the hell out of me!
I, I thought you could uh...
use some company.
It's a...
long, dark, spooky walk back to the dorm, so.
I was almost entirely un-spooked until a second ago.
Oh my God.
I thought you had rehearsal tonight.
Oh, we always end up fighting anyway.
You know, last week, we almost broke
up over barbershop quartet arrangements.
Somebody wanted to be a barbershop caroling group?
Hey, barbershop is a quintessential American...
Miguel, you really don't have to walk me. It's fine.
You sure?
I'm sure.
Okay. Well, just do me a
favor and don't get yourself killed
because then Id feel pretty bad about leaving you.
Yeah, I know.
Especially since you chased after
me youd probably be the prime suspect.
Oh, crap. Yeah.
Know what? I will...
send myself an e-mail right now
saying you definitely did not murder me.
You know, I'm fairly certain
-that would make it look worse. -There. Sent it.
You're off the hook.
(a capella vocal jazz Christmas tune)
Oh, good good good good good.
Im not too late.
Um... Not really. We're closed.
Oh, I just need one tree. I don't even care which one it is.
Oh. I'm sorry. All my payment stuffs offline.
Oh. It's okay, Ill pay cash.
I'm even willing to throw in
a little extra for your trouble.
-Okay... -I'll pay you $100 for this tree.
That tree costs $125.
Wh...
Its not even a very good tree.
Wow. You really know how to sweet talk a girl.
Okay, $200.
Then can I have the crappy tree?
You have to load it up yourself.
Fine.
-Here. -(paper)
Okay.
Do you have any other large-ish decorative
stuff around here that I could...?
Like, well, this.
Yeah.
$200.
That's for calling my tree crappy.
(upbeat piano Christmas jazz)
(door opens and closes)
[Dizzy] The only reason I can think
that you'd invite me over to your actual house
so soon after a job is to steal my share of the take.
So I didn't bring it.
Death by Christmas.
Wasn't expecting that.
A job came to me last night at Annies concert.
Easter related?
(music ends)
(typing)
Who is this?
This is Nick Malachi, owner
of Malachi Security Systems.
Oh, that explains a lot.
Malechai Security systems
are as bad as that sweater.
I have that sweater.
Okay. Every year he throws this
casual cocktail Christmas party.
Guest list is limited, extremely exclusive.
- And never invites the same people twice.
- Maybe they don't want to come back.
At that party, he shows off
his most prized possession.
It's the only time of the year anybody ever sees it.
-Do I want to know? -It's a diamond, Dizzy. Okay.
A diamond. A 15 carat perfect
pink diamond called the Heart of Christmas.
So let's see a picture of it.
There are no pictures of it.
Malachi won't let anybody take
any, but tons of people have seen it.
And if it's half of what they say it
is, you know how much it's worth?
I'm not a jeweler. How much?
You should learn about diamonds, Dizzy.
How much is it worth?
Just saying it's kind of our job.
Ill learn more about diamonds when
you learn about security systems,
how much is it w...
$10 million.
At least.
I'm interested.
Yeah.
But I can't stay in this room anymore.
Even Santa would have a conniption in here, so...
-Living room? -No, wait.
-Oh! What the hell?! -(cacophony)
You triggered it early. Its the
big finale to my pitch. Its fine.
We don't have to stay here. We can go someplace else.
Not with you wearing that.
I'm not going anywhere with
you when you're wearing that.
Oh my God.
(the caucophony continues)
Hold on. I gotta turn this... I gotta turn this off.
[Dizzy] Well first, obviously we need a way in.
Well, I thought about that.
Malachi's paranoid. The whole event is locked down, so...
I pull an Anna Delvey, fake my way into
high society, and we get on the guest list.
Guest list is approved years in advance.
Okay. Catering.
No. Just his guys. He's paranoid. They do everything.
Okay. Valet.
There's no valet.
Extra security detail.
Just his guys. Listen, Diz...
Okay, okay, so we just bust in with
some machine guns, and then we can...
Caroling.
Caroling.
Christmas caroling.
He's super into Christmas, right?
And apparently his little twerpy guys cant sing
because every year he hires a caroling group.
And every year it's a different group.
Auditions are in two weeks.
Machine guns it is.
(upbeat swing music ends)
[Cole] Come on, Dizzy.
Don't make me beg.
You sing.
I sing.
We sing.
And we already sing Christmas music.
Because you always make us for some reason.
- Who doesn't like Christmas music?
- A surprising number of people.
Those people are wrong.
Oh, come on, Dizzy, we can do this.
You have to admit that when we sing together
we sound pretty good.
We're okay.
Passable.
But this is something else.
Passable... Dizzy.
And if I say yes, then what?
Then we steal a giant diamond
And we're both rich.
And all we have to do is become the best
new Christmas caroling group the city has to offer.
No, all we have to do is become
the best new Christmas caroling group
this city has to offer
to Nick Malechai.
And you have a plan?
(slow seedy jazz plays)
Yeah.
Personally, I'm insulted you even ask me.
[Cole] Legbones the best in the business.
And he could really use the work.
-He's been in prison for a little while. -[Dizzy] Prison?
[Cole] He said he didn't do it. And no body, no crime. Right?
(sirens wailing)
I don't like this.
-Why do you work with me? -What do you mean?
I mean, why do you work with me?
Because you're good at planning jobs.
Right? We need a spelunker.
And Legbone is the best spelunker in town.
And besides, there's no such
thing as two person choirs.
(Cole sighs)
Cole.
Hiya, Leg.
Do you like money?
He does.
(seedy jazz ends)
Wow. This is a nice place you got here, Leg.
Just get to the money. Cole.
Alright. My associate dizzy and myself
are looking for some talent
to round out a very lucrative gig.
I'm a big guy, but I'm the best spelunker in town.
-She doesn't doubt that. -[Dizzy] I didn't doubt that.
What's the job?
Well, it's kind of hard to explain.
What?
Can you hit a G above middle C?
Are you talking about singing?
I am, do you sing?
This is a singing gig?
Well, there's a singing element to it.
We're putting together a little group, uh
kind of a Christmas caroling thing. An a capella trio.
And you want me?
Well, we want you to audition.
Here we come a-wandering,
along the leaves so green.
Here we come a-wandring so fair to be...
Green.
Damn it, Cole I'm sorry.
The lyrics.
No. Come on. That was amazing.
I wasn't ready to audition.
You did great. I mean, just to bust out li...
I could do a different one.
I've been doing a lot of karaoke. You
know the girl part to Summer Lovin?
You know what? We've got a lot of auditions
uh, to get to still. But we'll let you know.
It was so nice to meet you, Mr. Legbone.
Just call me Leg, everybody does.
Just let me know either way.
I hate not knowing.
Yeah. Absolutely. We'll be in touch, Leg.
Thank you.
(Cole sighs)
Legbones not the only sneak-thief in town.
Don't lose that Christmas spirit, Dizzy.
Bah, humbug.
[T-Bone] What fun it is
-try to sing a sleighing song
tonight. -(window breaks)
-Oh! Jingle bells, jingle bells. -(alarm)
-Jingle all the way. -(dogs barking)
Oh, how fun it is to ride.
In a one horse open sleigh. Hey!
-No! That's great. -(barking)
Great job. T-Bone loved it.
- I also know Deck the Halls.
- We got everything we needed.
You're really great. Really good.
-[Man shouting] Over there! -(dogs and alarm)
-[Man shouting] Over there! -(Cole whistling)
[Bonesaw] Good king Winsel Sauce was found.
(lock pops)
-floating... -(splash)
in the river.
-[Bonesaw] Ah ha. -Great. Really great.
I'm a better driver than a singer.
Do you need a driver?
No, we need a tenor.
(thunderclap)
And you're clearly a baritone.
Oh. Thank you.
That was clear?
Meet me tomorrow, okay? We're
going to pick this up tomorrow.
[Bonesaw, muffled] Winsel Sauce was found...
[Cole] Okay, so that's a no on Legbone,
T -Bone, and Bonesaw.
[Dizzy] I'm starting to notice a pattern.
Yeah, the professionals in this town can't sing.
No, I mean the bone thing. What's that about?
Well, leg bone wasn't that bad.
I mean, with a little practice...
No, we've been going about this from the wrong angle.
There he is.
[Dizzy] There who is?
Who is our new angle?
-And we can get him at a discount. -Him?
You know, for somebody who claims to like my plans,
you don't really seem to like my plans.
Wow. That might actually
inspire some self-reflection.
Meet me at the garage tonight, alright?
-We're going to have our first rehearsal. -Really?
Trust the plan. Dizzy.
Trust the plan.
He has lost his damn mind.
[Cole] Hey, Miguel! Miguel! Hey!
Hey! Oh, hey. Hi, buddy.
You remember me?
We met the other night after
the concert. Im Annies dad.
Oh, is Annie okay?
Yeah.
I mean I assume.
I came down here to talk to you. You got a minute?
Uh... Yeah. Sure.
This is...
This is a nice campus.
I haven't seen too many others.
Well, it looks expensive.
I mean, I know that it's expensive
because I pay for Annie's tuition.
Yeah, student loans pay for mine.
Well, you're going to feel those later.
But that's Miguel's problem.
He'll probably be rich.
Livin large and all that music major money.
Um. Did you want to talk to me or just bum me out?
I don't want to bum you out, Miguel.
In fact,
I want to bum you in.
Bum me in? Wha...
Nobody says that.
I want to offer you a job.
Oh. Uh. Okay.
This is probably where I yell
stranger danger and get out of here.
Look, I know that other group of yours
is auditioning for the Heart of Christmas Soiree.
Oh, that, that group broke up.
- What? Really? -Yeah.
They didn't, appreciate
America's unique musical heritage.
It doesn't matter, because my
group is singing at that party, so.
Wait, you have a group? They
haven't even had auditions yet.
All we needs a tenor.
Oh, I'm a tenor.
Well, then the job is yours.
You know, but you know, full disclosure.
Okay.
A little bit more to it than just singing.
Oh. Well, uh...
Think I'm getting that
stranger danger feeling again.
What if I told you you could make,
$200,000 off of one job?
Well, I'd probably leave.
You're not leaving.
Look, you don't have to decide now, okay?
Future Miguel would really
appreciate that financial aid.
Okay, here's my address.
Our first rehearsal is tonight,
and, you know, maybe keep this under your hat.
The job isn't exactly...
Isnt exactly on the up and up?
Yeah, I think the $200,000 kind of give that away.
That's like Pavarotti money.
You see. You'd already be
making as much money as Pavarotti.
[Annie] Dad?
Annie! Not a word to Annie
Do you understand me?
Annie! Wow!
I came down here
looking for you, and I ran into Miguel. What. What a,
what a small campus.
What an amazingly small campus.
You were looking for me?
Yeah. I wanted to apologize for the other night.
And, and I ran into Miguel
and he was helping me find you.
Yeah, I might be, singing for his group.
Uh... singing.
What?
Yeah. Uh huh. Yes.
Uh, the other night, Miguel
mentioned that party thing, and I thought,
Hey! That sounds like an easy way to make two grand.
That sounded like an easy
way for you to make two grand?
Well, easy is relative.
I wish that were true.
My group broke up, so.
Oh, actually, I had some charts for you guys.
Oh, cool.
Well, I found her.
Miguel found her, so. Thanks.
-Dont really... -Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
-Bye, Annie. -Bye.
And I will see you tonight at rehearsal, yeah?
That's a...
nice kid.
So?
So.
You wanted to apologize to me?
Yes, I did. Yeah. You got a little time?
I have like an hour or so before class.
Might be long enough if you talk fast.
Ugh.
-(Christmas jazz piano) -[Annie] I met him freshman year.
He is kind of odd, but he he's he's nice.
And he's a good singer. Right?
Yeah. And he likes my arrangements, which is...
you know, nice.
Yeah. I mean, I'm sure your arrangements are amazing.
Yeah. Be nice If you heard one once in a while.
It's weird.
It's not weird.
I'm forming a Christmas caroling group.
I'd ask you to be in it, but I won't
because you don't sing right?
-Right. -But you used to.
We used to sing together.
You remember that
Christmas song you wrote? Our duet?
I don't.
You really don't remember that? We sang it all the time.
Do I remember a song I wrote 15 years ago
when I was seven? No.
Well, it was cute.
That was 15 years ago?
A lifetime ago.
A lifetime ago.
That shirt's older than that.
I think this shirt is older than that.
Yeah. Well, speaking of time, I
should probably get back to class.
Really?
Good to see you, dad.
Nice to know, after all these years,
you've taken such good care of your shirt.
[Dizzy] I knew this would happen. He's not going to come.
He's going to blow this whole thing.
[Cole] Just give him a few more minutes?
Why don't we just go get Legbone?
Legbones not a strong enough singer.
We could teach him enough
to get through the audition.
Hoping there's not going to be an audition.
-What do you mean? -I think I can talk our way into this.
Then we'll go get Legbone.
We still need to sound good.
What do you mean, you can talk your way in?
It's all about wine.
You're going to get Nick Malechai drunk.
Nick Malechai is really into wine.
It's like really into it.
And according to my sources, he's a real jerk about it.
So nobody will go tasting with him.
But I will.
What do you know about wine?
You still have to learn how to carol.
What's to learn?
I heard the bells on Christmas Day.
Their old familiar carols play.
And wild and sweet,
the words repeat,
of peace on earth,
goodwill to men.
I though how as the day had come,
the belfries of all Christendom,
hath rolled along the unbroken song,
of peace on earth,
goodwill to men.
[Miguel joins] And in despair I bowed my head.
There is no peace on earth I said.
The wrong shall fail,
the right prevail.
With peace on earth,
goodwill to men.
Ha ha! That's it.
Miguel, Dizzy. Dizzy, Miguel.
I'm, not super comfortable with this.
Thought you sang all the
time, you sounded really good.
No. The other stuff the, you know,
not on the up and up. Whatever that means.
It's just like singing. The
more you do it, the easier it gets.
Yeah. I'm not, uh, comfortable with that either.
What are we doing anyway?
-Okay, so basically... -I will fill you in on everything
on the way to our first gig.
What gig?
We're not ready for a gig.
Are you kidding me? Didn't you just hear us?
We're more than ready.
Come on, kids, let's go sing.
(jazzy Christmas music)
Oh, fu...
-(jazzy Christmas music) -(traffic)
-So? -That sounds complicated.
I sometimes have trouble unlocking my iPhone.
I mean, it'll take some practice.
And we won't get caught?
Not if you do your job.
So, you in?
Can I still say no
after I heard the whole plan?
Well, we would really appreciate it
if you didn't say no.
Well, I guess I'm in.
Great. Good. Then we're here.
First gig.
Think it'd be good for us to get a
little practice performing as a group?
It's a Christmas tree lot.
Slightly chaotic. People coming and going.
- Perfect place to get some practice.
- When did you set this all up?
-In about five minutes. -What?
Just stay here.
Explain to Miguel the
protocols for if we do get caught.
How to take the cyanide capsule and all that.
Cyanide? Wait. What?
Miguel.
I'm kidding. All right.
Lighten up. It's a robbery.
It's supposed to be fun.
(car door opens)
(car door closes)
Are you having fun?
[Girl] Come on, let's go.
Okay!
So you can pick up your tree over there.
I've already e-mailed you the receipt.
-You excited kiddo? -Yeah.
-Are you decorating the tree tonight? -Yeah.
(laughs) Okay.
Thank you.
Tell your friends.
(Charlie laughing)
Hi, mom.
Charlie, what are you doing back there?
- I was selling Christmas trees.
- You were selling Christmas trees?
-How many did you sell? -500.
You broke the slump.
Um, can you do me a favor, please?
-Yes -Can you go hang out in the shack?
-And stay in there at this time? -Okay.
But don't eat all the candy, its for the customers.
I wont.
Sure you won't.
Well, hey, Mrs. Claus, you remember me?
Oh, another Christmas tree emergency?
Oh no. The first crappy tree did the trick...
[Charlie] they didnt take their candy, can I eat it?
- Are you hiring children to work here?
- That's my daughter.
She gets to hang out in a damp
shack with me all weekend.
Her father just had to take his
new girlfriend to Miami Beach.
Santa? No!
She's selling trees.
At least she's being helpful.
Well, it's better than when she gave them all haircuts.
Speaking of help, ever thought
about hiring entertainment?
You know, maybe bring in some customers.
With my entertainment budget?
I mean, I didn't think about
getting a live ten piece orchestra,
but I thought it might clash with the
flying reindeer and the laser light show.
What if it was free?
Say, there's a reason it must be free.
What if it was me?
You? I didnt know we were talking about you.
This has been such a normal, casual conversation.
Okay.
I have a Christmas caroling group, and we're brand new.
We could really use some experience and exposure.
It's totally free.
Totally free, huh?
Yeah. And, come back as many times as you want.
Okay. Sure. Why not?
Not going to regret it.
(vintage Christmas music )
These sweaters are the real crime.
What? I had to make us look like a group.
And this is the best I could do on such short notice.
Oh my God.
They're yours, aren't they?
Can we just stop talking about
the sweaters and focus on the gig?
I don't think I'll be able to
focus on anything ever again.
Okay. Um.
So what are we singing?
Jingle bells. That's a Christmas song, right?
Last time I checked.
Okay. Jingle bells.
Um. Look, I got this.
(pitch )
(humming )
One. Two. Three. Four.
-Dashing through the snow... -Jingle bells...
Sorry. I'm sorry. You're right.
One. Two. Three. Four.
Dashing through the snow,
in a one-horse open sleigh.
Oer the fields we go,
laughing all the way.
Bells on bobtail ring,
making spirits bright.
What fun it is to ride and
sing a sleighing song tonight.
Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells,
jingle all the way.
Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh.
Jingle bells, jingle bells,
jingle all the way.
Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh.
A day or two ago I thought I'd take a ride,
and soon Miss Fanny Bright w...
Theres two more verses.
-Really? -Yeah.
Okay. Well, note to self, learn the rest of Jingle Bells.
But that sounded pretty good.
I think those guys liked it.
They listened for a half a second.
Okay, what are we singing next?
How about something we all know the words to?
Um.
On the first day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me,
A partridge in a pear tree.
On the second day of
Christmas, my true love gave to me,
-two turtle... Oh. And a -two French hens and a
Partridge in a pear tree.
On the fourth day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me,
four calling birds, three
French hens, two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree. -Wait for this one.
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
five golden rings!
Four calling birds...
-12 ladies dancing, -drummers drumming,
-11 ladies dancing - pipers
-10 ladies dancing -Pipers piping
-nine ladies dancing -Lords!
Its not all ladies dancing.
Eight maids a milking,
five golden rings!
-Okay, shes leaving. -Four calling birds,
three French hens, two turtle
doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.
Okay, how about White Christmas?
Hey, maybe it's time to call it a night.
Oh. Thank God.
Well, you know, in our defense,
I did say that we needed some practice.
Right? Well, it's not you.
I mean, it's a little bit you, but mostly it's business.
I'm just going to close up early,
and I'm going to go put Charlie to bed
and I'm going to open a nice Petite Syrah
and I'm just going to not be here.
Petite Sirah that that's wine, right?
You know wine?
It is and I do.
If I brought some wine,
do you think you could give me
advice on my little group here?
Tell us what we could be doing better?
Well, Id learn the songs.
That's the first thing off the top of my head.
You see. There you go.
That's the kind of million dollar advice I need.
Okay, you know what? Fine. Meet me in an hour.
Uh, you bring the wine, Ill
write my address down for you.
-Right? -[Nina] Okay.
(footsteps)
Well.
First gig out of the way.
How many of these are we doing?
As many as it takes for us to get good.
You said we were going to talk our way into this.
Yeah, I will, but we can't suck. Okay
All right, now, let's get the hell out of here.
I gotta go buy some wine.
[Cole] But before I do, there's one
thing I want to show you guys first.
One little stop we're going to make.
Where are we?
This is the performance venue.
Nick Malachi's house.
-Dizzy, would you, do the honors, please? -Sure.
(phone whirrs and beeps)
This ain't it.
Woah. Look at that. It's meant to be.
Well.
(gate creaks)
[Cole] Yeah. There's the man himself.
[Dizzy] I can't get a reading from up here.
-Wait! -Ha ts ch ch ch ch.
Just watch. Watch.
[Miguel] What if she gets caught?
Would you relax?
You're not going to go to prison for looking at a house.
[Miguel] Yeah, but I think the
binoculars kind of make it illegal.
[Cole] Oh, that reminds me.
Here.
Seriously, you don't have to do this, okay?
If you want out, you're out.
All right, well,
I was having a conversation with
Future Miguel on the way over here, and,
it turns out I have to pay tuition every semester.
-[Cole] Yeah. -[Miguel] Also, my mom needs an operation.
Really?
Nah.
So, what's your excuse?
[Cole] Well, Miguel
You're not the only one who's
investing in someone's future
One semester at a time.
[Miguel] Wait, where's Malachi?
-Can I help you? [Miguel] Oh no!
-[Malechai] You got about five seconds to -[Cole] Shhh.
Tell me who you are and why youre on my property
-or Im going to have my security... -Darling! (laughs)
-Hello. -Oh, have you seen my doggo?
He's a Tibetan mastiff Chow chow mix.
And if he's alone for too long, he bullies himself
No, I haven't seen him. Maybe I can help you find him.
No, darling, that would...
(phone beeps) Oh, thats him.
Wait. Hold on.
Your dog just text you?
Oh, he was very expensive.
He says he's nearby.
Hey. Well, I'll help you find him.
Norbu. Norbu, darling.
Norbu?
[Dizzy] Norbu, where are you?
My dog.
Woof!
(Cole continues barking)
Oh, there's his dim-witted bark now.
Go! Go go go go!
Thank you so much.
Oh, wait. I can still help you find him.
(music ends )
Well, I got the system specs.
No thanks to Norbu.
I didn't know we were doing Lady Great Dane.
It's simple, but I don't know how much
time we'll have once we trip the sensors.
Well, let's go find out.
-How? -Oh, it's going to be fun.
But then I got to buy some wine because I got a date.
That Malachi's a creep, by the way.
I know. That's one of the reasons why we're robbing him.
It is?
Yeah. We only steal from creeps.
We do?
[Cole] Yeah.
That construction place was
a money laundering operation.
-[Dizzy] Really? -(alarm blares)
You telling me you didn't know this?
All of the money we stole is laundered?
[Cole] Well, now.
Okay, we've got exactly three
minutes before the alarm starts.
-(All right. Miguel! Let's go! -{alarm continues)
I gotta learn about wine.
And that was a wine store on the last block, right?
Did you see it?
[Dizzy] More planning and less dating.
[Cole] It's reconnaissance.
You just said it was a date.
-Did I? -Ugh.
[Nina] Um, it's just right back here.
Whoa.
-This is nice, Nina. -[Nina] Thank you.
If it's not cold, I thought we could stay out here.
Oh, no. No problem.
Good. Cause, Charlie's a little bit of a light sleeper.
And... you're a total stranger. I
don't know if I want you in my house.
Nope. I get it. That's true.
Besides, if we get too cold.
-I brought some wine. -Ahhh.
Syrah... from California.
Wait. Hold on. Is that bad?
Because...
I'll have you know,
this bottle of wine was very expensive.
California Syrahs are fine. They're good.
California Syrahs are good.
It's just my favorite Syrahs
are from Washington State.
Yeah... I don't know anything about wine.
With a Washington State Syrah,
you can really taste the terroir.
The terrier. Yeah, absolutely.
It's the environment in which they're grown.
It tastes like where it's from.
Walla Walla wine tastes like Walla Walla.
A Yakima Valley wine...
Tastes like whatever a Yakima is.
-No. I get it. -(laughing) Yeah.
They're not hiding anything.
They are what they are. They're honest.
You know, speaking of honest.
Um. Can I get your unfiltered
opinion about our little group?
What?
What do you think?
Did you guys even rehearse?
I kind of wanted to hit the ground
running, you know, see how it went.
It went bad.
Yeah, it did go bad, didn't it?
So, I assume you're winging
it with the arrangements too?
Is that obvious?
Well..
You know, practice and get some better arrangements.
There's my million dollar advice for you.
Do you know anyone who arranges choir music?
I might.
Okay.
But, you know what?
You've actually really got
me interested in this wine now.
-Okay. -I want to hear more about this...
tare-rurr?
-Terroir. -That's what I said.
Mmm. Try again.
-No. -Terroir.
You're just gonna make fun of me.
-Tare... (giggles) -Nope.
-Wahr. (laughs) -(laughs) No!
(Christmas jazz ends )
(sirens and harbor noises)
Does this taste like Walla Walla to you?
Miguel, have you reached the access panel yet?
Miguel, do you copy?
Miguel?
Miguel!
[Miguel muffled] Uh, I don't
think my earpiece is working.
(banging)
[Miguel] Ow! And there are nails inside of here.
You have one minute to get to the
access panel and enter the code.
[Miguel] I can't even see the panel.
-(banging) -[Dizzy] 53 seconds.
I think we're going to need to
bring somebody else in on this.
Good idea. But what do we do about Miguel?
-Oh, he can't rat us out. -(banging and rattling)
if we seal him in here.
We're keeping Miguel.
Miguel, you're doing a great job, buddy. Keep it up!
-[Miguel] Thanks. Ah! Spider! Ugh! -(crashing and banging)
We need better arrangements.
The arrangements aren't going
to matter if Miguel cant bypass
a simple 400MHz alarm system.
And bypassing the whatever isn't going
to matter if the audience is staring at us
and we can't leave to do our job because we suck.
[Dizzy] Miguel. Time's up. You're dead.
-[Miguel] I'm dead?! -(banging)
You're thinking about Annie.
I just don't see any way around it.
Okay. Unless Miguel can arrange music.
Hey, Miguel, can you arrange
three part a capella harmonies?
-[Miguel] Ooh! Barbershop? -See
There are about 300 reasons why this is a bad idea.
And I think there are 4.99 million reasons each
-Why you should think this is a good idea. -Cole.
Annie doesn't know what I do,
and I'd like to keep it that way.
Okay? She doesn't have to find out about the real job.
We just need her arrangements.
Just her arrangements?
Well, what else?
Hmmm...
Oh, you think I'm a bad dad?
You said it, not me.
(crashing)
You think she's not going to do it?
(crashing)
Ahh.
Who won't do what?
Cole wants to bring Annie in on this.
Oh, really?
Oh, but she hates you,
She doesn't hate me.
She really doesn't like you?
Guys.
I just need some choir arrangements. Okay?
I don't need her undying love and admiration.
I can't believe she hates you.
She doesn't hate me.
(faint dorm sounds and background jazz)
(sigh)
Annie?
Annie. Annums. Annie Bananie.
What are you doing in my dorm?
And stop calling me Annie Bananie.
Your friends all call you Annie Bananie.
No, they definitely don't.
Yeah. It's adorable. And they definitely do.
You know, you can stay out here, but talk quieter.
Oh, well, Annie, I can't talk
quieter if there's a door in the way.
You know, if you open the door and let me in,
I could talk like a normal person.
No, you're not coming in.
But I will let you buy me coffee to get you out of here.
And to apologize.
What am I apologizing for this time?
For not apologizing last time.
Annie it's really hard to keep
all these apologies straight.
Yeah, I've developed a system.
(relaxed upbeat swing music )
[ Cole] Isn't it?
It's a little cold for ice cream?
-What happened to coffee? -Ice cream is better.
What's the point of being an adult
if I can't have ice cream when l want?
- Yeah. This is very adult.
Is there something you wanted to say to me, dad?
I am sorry that I missed your concert, Annie.
Thank you.
I promise I'll be at the next one.
I'm sure you will.
Because your next one will be my next one.
-In a manner of speaking. -What do you mean?
My caroling group.
You're really doing that?
Yeah. That'd be a really weird thing to lie about, Annie.
It would be, yeah.
Miguels in it.
And Dizzy.
Who's Dizzy?
Your girlfriend?
(chuckles)
No.
I haven't had a girlfriend since your mom left.
So you have three singers.
What do you need from me? I told you, I'm not going to sing.
And I told you I was going to ask you. But why?
Why do you keep saying that? You don't sing?
Because I don't.
Annie... (scoffs)
you have an amazing voice.
Let's have a merry Christmas...
(imitating young Annie) All the bells are ringing.
Okay.
(laughing)
I remember it.
Even if you say that, you don't.
I don't remember it.
Sing with me.
I don't remember it.
No. Sing with me in my group.
(sighs)
Look. I said I wasn't going to ask, and I wasn't.
But I am, I'm asking.
I would like you to sing with me.
(sighs)
Dad, I...
It's just for one gig.
You'll have a good time.
It'll be fun.
You'll make some money with your music.
And like I said, it's one gig.
Can you pretend that you sing for one gig?
Can you pretend that you want
to be around me for one gig?
It really means that much to you?
It does.
(sighs)
Okay.
Youll do it?
Yes, I'll do it.
Annie! Oh, sweetie.
And you know, if you could
- maybe bring some arrangements.
- I knew there was something else...
We need arrangements and
you dont want us to suck, do you?
You don't want to be in a group that sucks, right?
Besides, you owe it to me.
I owe you?
Mmm hmm.
Because I used to take you sledding
on that hill over there every Christmas.
I mean,
obviously not sledding because,
you know, we don't get snow, but
we had that little red wagon.
I let you get into it and roll all the way
down to the bottom all by yourself.
I was always a little worried you'd
roll into the harbor, but you never did.
Yeah. And yet you still let me do it.
Because I am a cool dad.
My widdle girl wanted to go swedding.
Stop saying widdle.
Well, that's the way you said
it. And you try to say no to you.
That is rather embarrassing, dad.
Oh, well. I'm sorry. Is there people around?
I don't embarrass you, do I?
No. You can ne... (laughing)
(Annie laughing)
(faint foghorn and harobor noises)
Okay, so this is just in case you need it.
Nothing's changed from the
version I sent you guys last night.
Hope you got a chance to look over it.
It's really good.
[Annie] Thanks.
I can't read music.
You can read lyrics.
And I sent you the broken out
piano parts as you listen to them?
Yes.
-Okay. Here you go, Dizz... -Cole, I talk to you for a second?
(Dizzy laughs)
[Dizzy] One second.
(Dizzy laughs)
[Miguel] This part...
-What? -You said you just wanted her arrangements.
And we have her arrangements.
And how are we supposed to practice the heist
if were always rehearsing with Annie?
And what about when we do the job?
Is she just going to stand there and watch us steal it?
You didn't even think about. That, did you?
I did think about it.
And I realized that we need her.
In fact, she's the key to this whole thing.
I don't understand.
That's right.
You don't understand.
So why don't you just let me do my thing?
Oh, please.
By all means, do your thing.
So I think the next chart is in my car.
So I'm going to go get that. Miguel. Do you want to help me?
Sure. Yeah.
(footsteps)
[Miguel] Annie.
Annie. Isn't that the chart? Like right there.
Don't you think it's weird my dad's doing this?
-This is weird, right? -No, it's not weird.
It's totally a normal thing that
normal people do normally.
- But he's never done anything like this.
- He probably has lots of different jobs.
He was telling me about this
construction thing he was doing.
See, that. My dad doesn't do construction.
One time he built me a bunk bed that gave me tetanus.
And, you know, the last time I saw
Cole was when he accidentally on purpose
missed our winter concert last year.
Oh, that was when I had my solo
-Jesu, Joy of Mans Desiring. -Yeah, that was really good.
Now he invites me to some murder
garage to sing Christmas songs
I didn't know he had a m... Why does he have a murder garage?
To give us all tetanus? I don't know.
Well, if he starts laying down plastic
we run.
(sighs)
[Miguel] Wait, he wouldn't do that, would he?
[Annie] Okay, let's do this thing.
Okay, so
(tone plays on phone)
that's you, Miguel.
-(pitch) -Dad, thats you.
(Cole hums)
-(pitch) -(Dizzy hums)
-(Cole hums) -Shes pretty good. Okay.
-(pitch) -Uh.
Okay. Here goes nothing.
(sighs)
One. Two. Three.
-(singing the beginning of Toyland ) -Ooo. Ooo. Ooo.
Wait! Are you okay?
Yeah. Um.
Mm hmm. I just... I'm gonna... I...
(sighs)
One. Two. Three.
-(Toyland ) -Oooo
Oooo
When you grow up, my dear,
and are as old as I.
Youll often ponder on the years,
that go so swiftly by, my dears.
That go so swiftly...
by.
Toyland. Toyland.
Little girl and boy land.
While you dwell within it,
you are ever happy then.
Childhood joy land.
Mystical, merry Toyland.
Once you pass its borders you can never return,
no never return.
Youll never return again.
Oh, wow.
-That was amazing. Annie. -Thanks.
Yes, Annie, you sounded great.
[Dizzy] Cole? You gonna do your thing?
[Cole] Hey, Annie, these arrangements are amazing.
But I was thinking, you know, about Nick Malechai,
He usually hires college students. So I was thinking
maybe we could feature, you know, a college student.
So, what? You want me to arrange a solo for Miguel?
(Miguel scatting)
Im not sure that Miguels
exactly what this guy's looking for.
And what exactly is he looking for?
Talent. Annie.
And originality.
Maybe you could write an
original song. You could solo.
You want me to solo?
I'll be right there backing you up.
Okay, just just think about it.
Uh huh.
But if you do it and it gets us to
the gig, we can make it our finale.
It'll be the best song we have anyway, so make it, um...
Five minutes.
Five minutes?
Five minutes. The perfect length for a finale.
But, but, but let's just focus on this.
Right. Okay?
Okay, so, guys,
this next one's a bit more
complicated, so we're going to need to
give it more attention over the next couple of weeks.
And, apparently, I might have
a new tune for us all, but, um
for now, let's just try to stay together.
-(pitches from phone) -Thats you.
-(pitch) -(Dizzy hums)
-(pitch) -(Cole sings) Oof.
All right. Ready?
One. Two. Three.
(a capella version of Carol of the Bells )
(no audible dialogue during montage)
( alarm blares)
[Cole] Go go!
Go go go go go go go go go go.
-(a capella music continues ) -(alarm blares)
Okay.
So, as I suspected, if we hijack
the signal, we get two extra minutes.
Then the system resets the
code and activates the failsafe.
Yes. Did you see their wine fridge?
No! Miguel, drive!
-Was it nice? -Oh, yeah. It was really nice.
-But you probably should drive. -Go!
-(a capella music continues ) -(no audible dialogue)
(a capella song ends )
Again, again, again!
[Cole] Again? No come on. I think we're done.
We sang it like 3000 times already. (laughing)
Hey, can I have the cat this time?
-Wanna check out the trees? -Yeah.
[Cole] Thanks for listening, guys.
Thank you. Bye.
-(balloon noise) -You guys sound so good.
I know, it's amazing how much
better in just a couple weeks.
Thanks to Annie.
I always said she had the talent in the family.
I told her that with her helping
us, we wed sound great.
She didn't believe me. She didn't believe in herself,
-but I believed in her. -Okay. Knock it off, dad.
[Nina] Oh, Charlie. Okay.
No more balloon animals.
-Your dad is finally here. Lets go. -Daddy!
Okay. Well, nice work to everyone.
Not just Annie.
I'm very proud of all of you.
Okay, the audition is in a couple days, so
let's just rest up until then, all right?
Annie, you want to grab a cone
and I can drop you off at school?
Miguel can take me
Oh.
Yeah, yeah, that's because, we
live to... In the same place, so...
uh, not exactly in the same place, but, you know, just...
general vicinity. (sighs)
The college.
Drive safe.
Are we auditioning?
What happened to talking our way in?
What's with the balloon animals, Dizzy?
I'm busy winning young hearts and minds.
You know, being a performing
monkey instead of a millionaire thief.
Hey, maybe I could make
a balloon animal of this guy.
Uh, do you remember him? Nick Malachi?
The guy we're going to rob.
Would you put that away? All right?
I haven't forgotten. Okay.
And don't tell me how to do my job.
[Nina] Okay.
Charlie is with her dad for the whole weekend.
What do you say I deal with these last customers,
and then I close up shop, and you remind
me what it feels like to be a grown up.
Sounds good to me.
Be nice to be around a grown up for a change.
Great.
(Christmas bells ringing )
(vintage Christmas song playing )
This tastes great.
But really, we could be drinking
wine coolers right now for all I care.
Are you okay?
I noticed a little tension with Annie earlier.
You guys nervous about the audition?
If only it was nervous about the audition.
No. Annie and I haven't
historically had a good relationship.
No, that's not true.
We used to have a great relationship,
but her mother and I divorced when she was young.
Mmm, divorce is hard on kids.
I have a six year old with latent
separation anxiety to prove it.
I wanted to spend more time with her, but
you know, her mom and I don't really get along.
Thus the divorce.
And maybe a little guilt.
Only a little?
You're so lucky.
We used to spend so much time
together, and we had so much fun.
But then she'd have to go back to
her moms, and that would kill me.
And then it's hard on her.
And having to do that over and over and over again.
Just gets to be too much.
And then you felt guilty about being away,
so you'd stay away more, which
made you feel even more guilty.
And on and on and on.
Yeah, see, you do understand divorce.
(chuckles) It's relationships I dont get.
You seem to be doing all right with this one.
Oh. Are we in a relationship?
(both chuckle)
I understand wine.
Children and wine,
both heavily affected by the
environments in which they grow.
Children have a terroir?
Well, Annie grew in some pretty tough soil.
People aren't wine.
With wine when it goes bad,
the best you can do is turn
it into a vinegar or something.
But as a wine, it's done. With people, you have the chance
to make your relationships
better just by being around.
You and Annie have got to
spend a lot of time together lately.
-Yeah? -Yeah. Yeah.
And its been fun?
Its been some of the most fun I've had in a long time.
Then it will get better.
All you have to do is keep being around her,
and being open and honest.
Open and honest.
Like you're doing with me right now.
(door opens)
Yo! Chardonnay.
Now.
Lets embrace our inner divorce and
see what this chardonnay is all about.
Um... We'll take chardonnay down here too, please.
(cork creaking)
That's my bottle.
[Nina] Excuse me.
That's not how it works in a tasting room we share.
You know what, lady?
I wouldn't share my spit bucket with you.
-Excuse me? -[Cole] Um... (stammering)
Did you hear that guy?
I did, and you know what?
I think I went to college with him.
You went to college with that guy?
Well, yeah, and it was a while ago.
And you know, I should probably go talk to him.
Looks like he's going through some stuff.
Maybe I can take a rain check on our date.
Are you asking me to leave?
No. Well, I mean, maybe, but,
But only because this might take a while,
and he really seems like he needs a friend.
Yeah.
He seems like he needs a kick in the ass.
If you are going to move so much,
can you not move in front of me?
I mean... Oh, hes still moving.
If you're gonna move so much, please just...
out of my peripheral vision, I...
Youre like an ocular migration.
Sorry.
He's usually very sweet.
He said he wouldn't share his spit bucket with me.
He said he wouldn't share it.
Do you want him to?
I think I can get him to give me a ride home.
Thank you so much, Nina, for
being understanding about this.
Yeah, I'm super understanding.
Goodnight, Cole.
[Malechai] I can still see you.
Would you please just move away?
Away. That way, yeah.
No, no, I see you go that way.
Much further.
Further.
I can still see you moving!
Youre turning your head.
Oh, am I not allowed to turn my head?
(gentle guitar starts )
I can still see you.
[Cole] Nina. Hold on. Whoa whoa whoa whoa.
Hey hey hey hey hey.
-Hey, uh, um, -Hi.
On second thought, (sighs)
would you like to go someplace else?
I mean, I feel bad about... what just happened.
No, I know, I know, and I feel bad.
I wasn't being very nice to you. That,
That's your friend from college. So if he...
But it's fine.
No, but if, if he needs you, go back inside
and help him, and, you can give me a call tomorrow.
Okay. Just...
It's okay. Go back inside.
Oh, wait wait, wait.
You left the stuff in my car.
Okay, thanks.
-Thank you for understanding. -Yeah.
Have a good night.
(Johnnys in the backyard playing with snow )
[Little Girl] Something really happened.
(Mayebes got the right idea who knows. )
(Little Girl talking)
(Be the man that you wanna be. )
- (People gonna open up, youll see )
- [Little Girl] Daddy, I dropped my shoe.
[Little Girl] Can you help me pick it up?
(Little Girl talking)
[Little Girl] I love you.
(Ill go out and stand in line. )
[Annie] glad we've been able to
hang out these past few weeks.
Even if it's also with my dad.
[Annie] He hasn't exactly been a great dad.
Oh, well, he's,
you know, always talking about how talented you are.
He just says that stuff because he feels guilty.
It's been like that since he and my mom got divorced.
Trying to cram all his parenting into
the few minutes he's actually around.
(music ends )
Or he believes it.
I mean, you're one of the most
talented people I've ever met.
I am?
Yeah, I mean...
great singer,
great arranger,
pretty.
Pretty is not a talent.
Okay.
But it's true.
(gentle guitar music starts )
So are you saying I should cut my dad some slack?
Uh... (chuckles)
I don't want to be thinking about your dad right now.
(Annie laughs)
(pull the night up over my arms )
He's a crook.
-Uh... What?
I just think you have to know that
before you get involved with me.
He thinks I don't know, but, I mean, come on, I'm not a moron.
It's why my mom finally left. I...
I've wanted to warn you, but I...
-I've been selfish. -Selfish?
I like singing in the group.
I like singing with you.
I even like being around my dad again.
-Okay, but why is that selfish? -Because I was having fun
and I didn't want to mess it up. But I don't trust him.
And you shouldn't either.
Well, why would I...
Okay. Maybe my dad suddenly
and without precedent, formed a
four part Christmas caroling group
and asked me to go gig with
him at a party with a giant diamond
because he genuinely loves
to sing and wants me around.
And maybe he asked me to write an original tune
for our finale that features me as a soloist
that is five minutes long, which is really long,
because that's just how
long finales should be, Annie.
And maybe there's nothing fishy about that, but I mean...
Okay. Annie, um...
Look. I understand if you want to just
wash your hands of this and walk away.
But I had to tell you or I wouldn't
be able to live with myself.
I know that means that you
did all that work for nothing,
and you'd be walking away from a lot of money.
Okay, um...
Money can...
make people do a lot of crazy things.
-Um, and. -Yeah, I mean, $2,000
is a lot for one gig.
Um... Yeah. Uh, 2,000. I, uh...
I'll understand if you don't
forgive me for not telling you
and for basically using you
to get closer to my dad or, or...
using my dad to get closer to you.
But I'm really sorry.
(music ends )
(keys rattle in door lock)
(door closes)
Did you forget something?
(light switch)
Make yourself at home dizzy.
[Dizzy] I followed you to the winery.
-I saw Nick, Malachi. -(keys jangle on counter)
Why didn't you talk to him?
Because it wasn't the right time.
The audition is in two days, Cole.
The audition you said we wouldn't have to do.
Are you afraid to audition, Dizzy?
You know, a few days ago
you asked me why I work with you.
Yeah.
And you told me because you like my plans.
Which you've been questioning from day one.
Why do you work with me?
Because I can't do what you do.
And because we're a good team.
A team?
-Yes, a team. -(cup rattles on counter)
Don't blow this, Cole.
[Dizzy] In a few days, we're going to have
$5 million each.
And then after that, you can do
whatever you want with your life.
You can get out of this business.
But I don't have a family.
This money is all I have.
Why would I walk away from $5 million, Dizzy?
I don't know, Cole.
I don't have Annie's love
on my Christmas list.
What is this?
I'm just doing the one thing that you can't.
Keeping our focus on the job.
Have I ever let you down?
This will all work out, Dizzy.
Trust me.
I quit.
-What? -[Cole] What?
-Annie knows something's up. -What did you tell her?
I didn't tell her anything. She knows
you're a crook. She's not an idiot.
Then she apologized to me for not telling me sooner.
She apologized to me for lying.
What happened exactly?
Okay, so, walking back to campus, and it was very pretty.
She was very pretty.
And she was talking about how much
fun she's been having with the group and
We almost kissed.
And then she just blurts out, he's a crook!
Meaning you.
-Wait... Wait. -Yeah, she called you a crook.
Which is probably why I use that word earlier,
because nobody really uses that word anymore.
You almost kissed?
Thats. That's kind of a big deal, right?
Yeah. I mean, she asked me to forgive her, and,
and, and I... ran away.
Oh, nothing suspicious about that.
So I quit.
Steal the diamond without me.
I knew this was going to happen.
No. Hey. It's fine.
All right, so he's out.
He's out?
He's in love.
-Oh. -[Cole] I get it.
And you should definitely tell Annie.
-I should? -Yeah.
You should tell her you've
been lying to her this whole time.
She deserves to know the truth, no
matter how much she resents you for it.
Okay. But it's not just me.
Well, I mean, I'm her dad,
so she's pretty much obligated
to give me second chances.
But you? (scoffs)
And who needs the money anyway?
-I do. -Wait.
Hold on. Wait.
Okay, I think I have a plan.
I have a plan that could fix this whole thing.
What?
Don't tell her.
Solid plan.
Uh, okay. So just keep lying to her?
You didn't seem to mind lying to her
when it helped you get close to her.
But now that it can hurt you, it's suddenly a problem?
Are we talking about me or you?
And you're wrong.
She's not going to keep giving you second chances.
She's smarter than that.
If you try to sabotage my
relationship with my daughter,
you'll only be sabotaging your own.
The only person wholl sabotage
your relationship with Annie is you.
I'd be more worried about what's going to happen
when he realizes the only thing he needs to sabotage
is the audition.
(vintage Christmas music plays )
Not gonna be an audition.
(vintage Christmas music continues on radio )
(humming)
To hell with it.
-Hey. -Hmm?
Have you tried their Syrah?
I, I find the tare-warr refreshingly mineral.
I love the fruitiness of it.
Tastes like wine.
The wine-ness of it. Yeah.
I'm definitely getting wine on the palate. Yeah.
[Malechai] Um. Yo. (snaps)
Another bottle please.
Mr. Malachi, this is not a bar.
I'll buy ten cases.
Coming right up.
[Malechai] Ugh.
(sighs)
So you're a collector, huh?
Yeah, well, I've got a modest collection at home too.
-Mostly Syrahs. -Buddy?
Do you mind?
See. Eventually some
hapless chick may accidentally
Eat, Love, Pray her way right into this place.
I would really like to have her be right here,
where you're standing, so maybe...?
Get my drift?
Yeah.
No problem.
(music continues on radio )
(the hopes and fears of all the years )
Im sorry, I don't mean to keep
bothering you, but did I notice
that you're wearing a Drunken Santa brand sweater?
Uh huh.
I love their stuff.
I've got one at home.
It's just got a reindeer on it with
antlers and in big letters, it just says.
-Horny. I... I... -Yeah! (laughs)
I love horny. I've got that. I've got the same one.
I also got the one with Santa.
He's on the roof and he's, uh...
He's pissing! And the stream goes pssss
I gotta confess, I have... I have a lot of ugly sweaters.
Some people might say too many.
Oh, no no no no.
Idiots would say too many.
You can never have too many.
Yeah, well, you know, plus, my caroling group
wears them when we perform,
-so it's kind of a professional necessity. -Wait.
-Did you just say caroling group? -Oh yeah.
Do I know them?
I mean, what's the name?
-Uh... the... -Of the group?
The... Ugly Sweater... Tones.
Ugly Sweatertones.
Never heard of them.
But it's a good name.
We perform all over town.
That's that. Wow.
It's very funny I ran into you tonight.
Why... whys that?
You just happen to show up
when I just happen to need
a caroling group for a party
that I just happen to throw once a year? (laughs)
Wait, you need a caroling group for a party?
Uh huh.
Wow, that is, that is weird.
No...
It's not weird.
It's fate.
It's fate!
- It's a Christmas miracle. (laughs)
- Christmas miracle! Yeah! (laughs)
-Amazing. -(both laughing)
I'm having auditions tomorrow.
Oh, well. Yeah.
Hey, man, just let me know when and where we'll be there.
And may the best choir win.
(singing) May the best choir win!
-Hey! (laughs) -(Chuckles) Hey.
But enough about this crap.
So, have you seen?
Have you seen? Have you..
-Sure Im gonna love it. -Have you seen the sweater
It's says Santas coming...
[Malechai] And Santas all...
-Thats what she said. -(Laughing) Classic.
You know what? You...
can never go wrong
with... with... with...
Wait wait wait. What was I talking about?
Thats what she said.
Oh! Thats what she said...
(strained laughter)
(gasp) Good one.
(laughing)
Oh, Carl.
-Cole. -Cole. Carl...
Do either of you need a ride home?
Oh, no no. Thats my car right here.
Wah!
Yeah.
Nice to meet you tonight, Carl.
Yeah. It was good to meet you, too, Nick.
And I will see you tomorrow at the auditions.
Auditions.
Ugh.
I hate auditions.
I, I mean, me, of all people
we know, I love carolers and caroling.
Its the best thing. But not hearing them
all day long with the hangover.
Ah, man, how do you think I feel?
I got to sing.
Okay. Don't hold it against my group
If I puke during the low notes. Okay.
Wait a minute. Im gonna help us both out.
You...
got the gig.
-What? -Yes.
Ah! Oh ho.
-Oh. Woah-ho-ho. -Thats great. Congratulations!
-Thank you. -Uh, wait. Wait.
You're good, aren't you?
Oh, yeah. No, no yeah, we're the best. Yeah.
And youre all in college?
Uh, yeah.
I mean, other than me, yeah they're all in college
Are the girls cute?
(crickets)
[Cole] Um...
Ahh...
Well, of course they are. Duh.
You wouldn't be doing it if they weren't.
(forced laughter)
But for the party...
they're mine.
You got me?
Okay?
Sure. Mm hm.
Yeah?
Yeah.
(forced laughter)
We got a deal.
Mm hmm.
You crazy? I dont touch the help.
But look.
That is my card.
You call my assistant.
Shell give you all the deets you need.
You'll be at my house at 6:30 on Christmas Eve,
and you'll be prepared to sing all night long.
All the songs that you've got.
Because it's gonna be a big party.
I'm to pay $400 and we're going to have a good night.
$400?
Yeah, that's a good deal. Hundy each?
Oh, yeah. Sure is.
It's, very generous.
Yes, it's a good deal.
(Cole laughs) Mm hmm.
Harold, will you please bring the car around?
See ya later.
(Malechai babbles)
[Malechai] Oh, there you are. There you are.
So long.
Took so long.
Why you taking so long?
Just go.
(car door closes)
(car drives away)
Oh.
Nope. I'm actually drunk.
Im actually drunk.
Oh my god.
Ah.
(sighs)
Harold,
bring the car around.
(sighs)
Oh.
Harold.
(sighs)
I didn't think you could get
drunk in a wine tasting room.
(sighs) Well, it turns out that wine tasting room wine
has alcohol in it. just like regular wine.
Thank you for coming to get me.
Mmm. You've never heard of Uber?
Never had an Uber driver as cute as you before.
I like you, Nina.
I like you too, Cole.
(gentle guitar music )
And I'm sorry about last night.
I didn't really expect you
Well, okay, so Christmas.
It's. Its like...
Christmas.
You wake up and you go to the tree,
and there's a little present under it.
And you didn't ask for it,
but it turns out to be the
best present you got all year.
And I would like to enjoy that present
before I break it.
What's that supposed to mean?
Okay. You want me to be open and honest?
Okay, I'm going to warn you.
I have ruined every meaningful relationship
I've ever had in my life.
And, uh...
I'm going to eventually ruin ours.
Not because I want to.
Its just because I'm corked wine, Nina.
Im vinegar.
Really?
Oh, just ask Annie. Shell tell you.
(Cole sighs)
But I've been reflecting on things
the past couple of weeks, and I've come to terms with it.
So it's inevitable.
Well, yeah.
We could have some fun in the meantime.
No. We can't.
My feelings aside, this isn't fair to
Charlie. She already feels abandoned
by her own father. I'm not going to
have her go through that with you, too.
So if you're just planning on
disappearing on us in a few weeks
I don't want to get more attached than we already are.
I'm not planning on any of it.
Okay. It's just what's going to happen.
That's just the way it is.
I hurt the people I love.
And that will eventually hurt you.
You already are.
(music continues )
I guess it's better that you do it
now rather than in a few weeks.
You see?
You are better off without me.
And youve made sure of that.
(door opens)
(Cole grunts)
(door closes)
I don't get it.
I don't get it either.
Thank you for the ride.
[Nina] Hey.
People aren't wine,
and relationships aren't stocking
stuffers that you get from Santa.
They don't just happen.
They don't just come to you fully formed,
and then you figure out what to do with them.
It's something you have to work
on, and you're never quite finished.
You know your choices...
Oh, my God, why am I even trying
to discuss this with a drunk person?
Make better choices.
-Oh, just make better choices. -[Nina] Yes, Cole.
Make better choices.
If not with me, then with Annie.
She at least deserves a father who tries.
(car engine noise)
(Let me go on without you. )
(Let me go on without you. )
(Let me go on without you. )
(Let me go on. )
(Oh, how the night, )
(Gives way to the dawn. )
Dad?
-What are you doing? -(music ends)
Oh. Hey, Annie.
We're not going to be auditioning tomorrow.
Okay. Get up.
[Cole] Annie.
No, you gotta let me finish. Okay.
(grunts) Shh.
(whispers) Annie.
-I'm talking quietly this time. -Yeah. Okay.
We're not auditioning tomorrow.
Because we got the gig.
We did.
-Congratulations. -Okay.
And Nina dumped me.
I just wanted to say that in person.
That Nina dumped you?
(whispering) That we got the gig.
Congratulations. (laughing)
I'm sorry you and Nina broke up.
Well, it was bound to happen
sooner or later, Annie. Okay.
Anyway, I'll see you, on Christmas Eve.
For the gig.
Uh, Miguel just ran away from me last night.
Just ran away.
Yeah, he told me.
You talked to him?
Did... Did I?
Um... Uh, maybe.
I dont know, I don't know, Annie. Okay.
My girlfriend just dumped me,
and I drank three whole bottles
of the world's most overoaked Chardonnay. (chuckles)
Wanna talk about it?
(sighs)
It's kind of like drinking lemony cream soda.
Meant about Nina.
-(tender piano ) -[Cole] What happened to ice cream?
[Annie] Ice creams for grown ups. Remember?
[Annie] So you got dumped, so you got drunk?
No, I got drunk before Nina dumped me.
Was at a wine tasting.
I think they call that wine drinking, Dad.
With Nina?
With Nick. Malachi.
I need to stop walking for a second.
Nick. Malachi?
The guy hosting the party?
Ah, yeah.
He happened to be at the
same wine tasting room I was at.
Convenient.
Let's talk about you and Miguel.
Dad, what's going on?
Well, he really likes you, Annie.
Ah. Well, actually, he ran away
from me after I tried to kiss him,
So, jury's still out on that one, but
that's not what I'm talking about.
What's going on?
Dad?
Annie.
(groans)
I just don't think it's great
for kids to know too much about their parents.
(scoffs) Yeah, it would really ruin the mystique, huh.
If you're ever a parent, maybe you'll
understand where I'm coming from.
You were a kid. You don't
understand where I'm coming from.
I don't want to fight about it. its complicated.
You know, it doesn't seem complicated.
You were around, and then you weren't.
I'm here for you now.
Are you?
(laughs)
And Im gonna be there for you on Christmas Eve, too.
Right next to you.
So rest up.
Dad?
You are here for me,
right?
(uptempo funky jazz )
-(whooshing) -(paper smacks table)
Lets steal a diamond.
We'll enter the party around 6:00.
- Most likely from a side entrance.
- (carolers sing faintly)
[Cole] We'll enter the room singing, and we come in hot.
[Dizzy] You sure there won't be caterers?
[Cole] I didn't make you sing for nothing, Diz.
(music continues ) (caroling)
[Cole] As per Malachi's assistant,
we'll make our way to a little stage
area thats separated from the guests.
This is where all the hard work pays off, Dizzy.
We're going to be the most
energetic group of carolers
these people have ever seen in their lives.
The whole first set. we give em hell.
Because after that,
there's nothing for us to be but boring.
Our first singing break is where we get to work.
During that break, Malachi will give a speech.
[Miguel] About what?
Does it matter?
Something about the diamond.
Thank you for coming.
[Cole] I am richer than all of you put together.
And if you idiots are good.
[Cole] I'll show you my overcompensatory diamond.
[Cole] Something like that.
(crowd cheers and applause)
And you sure he won't unveil the diamond till later?
His assistant specifically said
that he'll give a speech and then we'll do another set.
And then hell present the diamond?
Oh, that diamond will never be presented. Because...
[Cole] After his amazing speech,
I'll walk over to Malachi,
you know, to congratulate him.
[Cole] And that's when I use my old man skills
to lift his phone.
Malachi's cell phone is critical.
Without that phone, this whole thing falls apart.
It's the only place getting notifications
that his alarm system has been interrupted.
That'll only buy us two extra minutes,
and then the alarm will go off,
and everyone is going to notice that.
So don't screw it up.
Don't worry about me.
You know, I'm kind of worried about you.
I know my part.
Okay. Okay.
[Miguel] We sing a couple more
songs. You know, the boring ones,
so people stop paying attention.
And then the third tune of
the set will be Annie solo tune.
Her song last exactly five minutes.
Once Annie is beautifully baring her soul,
unaware that she's being used
by the people who claim to love and care about her,
Ill betray her trust and
slip through this door here.
Then, with further disregard for
Annie and for my own selfish gains,
I'll enter this bathroom and
crawl out through this window.
Once I get to the backyard,
I'll change out of my caroling outfit,
into something more appropriate for my evil deeds.
I'll find the best route to the attic,
and then I'll start climbing like a jerk.
I'll have access to the attic here.
Since you'll have Malachi's phone,
he'll also be in the dark as to what I'm doing.
And then I crawl to the
probably spider infested attic,
and easily disable the stupid alarm system.
Having done my job, I put back on
my costume and rejoined the group.
Then it's Dizzys turn.
I do my thing, and then it's Cole's turn.
What? I know what I'm doing.
I'm a professional.
Humor me.
Fine.
[Dizzy] I slip away and head towards these rooms here.
I avoid any security that might be around
and identify the room that the diamond is in.
(sneaky funky music continues )
It should be easy enough to do.
Malechai Security systems
aren't exactly subtle. (laughs)
I disable all cameras and
secondary electronic security
around the diamond itself, and then
get back to the group without being seen.
Then it's Cole's turn to...
do whatever it is it's your job to do.
Malachi is a jerk, but he's not an idiot, okay?
There's going to be some kind
of analog secondary system,
and I won't know how to pick it until I see it.
Like they did in olden days.
[Cole] I do whatever I need to do.
I sneak back to the stage and yadda yada yada...
We have the diamond.
Oh, you get to yadda yadda.
[Cole] We finish the tune to thunderous applause
-and boom! -(alarm blares)
The alarm goes off.
They're not going to be expecting
it, so it's going to be chaos.
And we're going to be there
experiencing that chaos with everyone else.
Front and center and all accounted for.
They'll question us, but since
we were singing the whole night,
we won't be suspects.
It won't be thorough. It'll be quick.
Okay, yeah, well go.
[Malechai] I lost my diamond! (sobs dramatically)
[Cole] After that, we disappear into the night,
and we're all rich.
[Miguel] Wait. I don't think $200,000
really makes us rich, I mean...
Well, we're all on our way to fiscal independence.
That, with prudent investment,
may make us rich someday.
The important thing is that we are all set
and no one's got cold feet.
I got it.
Remember the heist doesn't
really start until we get to our
-first break -[Fawn] First break.
Take your first break now.
Mr. Malachi is going to address the party.
Oh, great. Yeah.
We, we stand up here behind him,
wed be a nice background for him.
Mr. Malachi has instructed me
to escort you to a holding room.
-You will take your break there. -Well, you know I,
I thought maybe I'd go up to him,
thank him for the job, shake his hand.
Mr. Malachi does not touch the help.
[Fawn] Follow me, please.
(ambient piano jazz and guests talking)
It's, uh, going pretty well so far I think.
Exactly as planned.
Uh, but, dad, I was thinking about
my original song and the second set. I...
-I dont think... -It's great. I learned my part last night.
-Yeah. Me too. It's its really beautiful. -Yeah. Hey,
I'm gonna just pop back into this thing real quick,
and I'm going to say hi to Nick.
Ah, dad, uh...
Annie. It's great.
Okay, I'm just gonna pop in here real quick.
(sighs) It's really hot out here.
It's freezing.
(Annie grunts)
I, I prepared. I get cold when I get nervous.
Except for, you know, the times when I get hot, so...
Annie.
It's okay. All right.
I told you, I'm right here.
I'm right next to you.
Soon as I get back,
I'm gonna pop into this party real quick.
I'm gonna to say thank you to Nick Cell Phone...
Uh, Malachi, and I'll be right back.
[Fawn] What are you doing out
here? You shouldnt be out here.
-You shouldnt be here. -Just gonna to pop in
- Leave Mr. Malechai alone. Follow me.
- Were buddies. We go wine tasting.
[Fawn] Either follow me or I will have you escorted out.
(Cole sighs)
I'd really like to talk to him.
I would like to say thank you...
Stay in here until I come and get you.
-But... -Ah, dt dt. Ts.
(Cole scoffs)
(upbeat a capella music )
Merry Christmas.
So, you uh...
Uh...
Do you..
Want to discuss the next set list? Or, uh...
Mm hmm. Mm hmm.
-Hello? Hello? -(keypad beeping)
(keypad beeping)
Hello. Hi.
-Hello. -What?
I have to go to the bathroom.
Well, Malachi says you have to stay in this room.
Does he want me to pee on his diamond?
Down there.
But come right back.
-Hate it here. -Lets just...
All right. Dizzy.
There's no visible security
cameras. Any secondary systems?
With the way the primary system is configured,
- I don't think there's a redundant system.
- Don't think? So, you don't know.
I don't know for sure.
-He has a backup system. -How do you know?
Because I'm looking at it. It's right there.
[Dizzy] So then let's just grab it and go.
Not with Annie out there. We can't pin this on her.
Oh, they'll never believe Annie did it.
Yeah, but then they'll use Annie
to get to Cole and then to us.
Look, we don't have a plan. No phone, no plan.
So let's just grab it now while
we've got the chance and go and...
[Peter] Oh... inside the room.
[Sheila] Yeah, the diamond's not out there, Peter.
Sheila...
You don't have to be a jerk about it.
Not cool.
(jazzy Christmas music ends )
(party noises from other room)
-Oh! -Oh. Sorry, I. I think I'm lost. I dont...
No.
No. Youre not lost.
Oh, you're in the right place.
You're one of the singers, right?
-Mmm? -(Annie laughs)
That old dude was really right about you. (laughs)
Noice.
Anyway, I'm Nick.
This is my party, and um...
Youre good.
Oh, yeah. We've, weve practiced a lot.
Um hmm. I bet you have. Oh.
The music. Right. (gasps)
I like your sweater.
Can I try it on?
-Oh, I don't think itll fit. -Oh, come on.
Let me try it on.
You'll never know unless you do it come on.
I usually don't touch the help,
but for you, I'll make an exception.
-Come here. -(door creaks)
For privacy.
-The closet? -Mm hm.
I have a secret room back here.
(door latch unlocks)
-(echoing) Is very small. -(metal door opening)
(door latch rattling)
But cozy.
My own security people don't even know it's back there.
Sometimes I forget the back there.
It's so private. It's far off the grid. I mean...
No distractions. Come on.
Well have our own little private changing room.
Uh. (stammers and laughs)
Come on, come on. Come on!
Okay, so, listen, when I hire a group for a party,
there's a reason I pay them so much money.
And I think that, um,
it would be really
awful if you and your friends didn't get paid
for all your hard work, so, you know, come on.
Right this way.
-Right here. Come on. -In there?
Yes. Right this way.
[Malechai] Got carpeting, and...
(echoing) and it's soundproof and
(echoing) it's really nice.
The carpet is actually indoor/outdoor car...
-(Malechai grunts) -(crashing)
-( swing ) -(muffled yelling)
-(Annie grunts) -(handle breaks)
[Malechai] What the hell?
[Malechai] Open this door.
-[Malechai] Open this goddamned door! -(faint pounding)
-You know who I am. -(clatter)
-[Malechai] You better run. -(pounding)
(Malechai groaning)
-(Annie sighs) -(pounding)
[Malechai] Would you please find that girl?
- [Malechai] Open the door.
- (security device rattles and beeps)
-(Malechai sobbing and
pounding) -(device clatters on floor)
[Malechai] Open the door, you...
(music ends )
(faint party sounds from other room)
-So let's discuss the next song. -[Cole] Mm hmm.
(whispering) It's just one guy. We can take him.
Dizzy, if we smash and grab,
were gonna be living on the lam.
Wait, I can't live on a lamb. Im allergic to wool.
This could be our last chance, Cole.
[Fawn] Come on.
All right.
Breaks over. Let's go
[Fawn] Now!
[Cole] But... (scoffs)
(muffled party sounds)
Now! Come on.
-(crickets and traffic) -(muffled party sounds)
(piano jazz and guests talking)
(Annie sighs)
Annie!
Hey, are you all right?
-Mr. Malechai just tried to... -What?
What did you try to do? Annie. Goddamnit, Annie.
I'm so sorry.
I stopped him before he
could do anything, but he tried.
But, youre okay?
I, I guess. But we should go.
We're not going to get paid anyway.
After I kicked him into a closet.
-Or, I guess, a secret room in a closet. -Secret room?
Wait. You kicked him?
Really hard.
Nice.
And I took this, I panicked,
I didn't want him to call his security, I don't...
Uh, no, Hey. Come on, it's okay.
You gonna sing something?
Oh, yeah. We're just...
We're just looking for the perfect song for the...
Then get to it.
(Cole sighs)
-(stammering) -No, its, come on.
We'll just sing something
simple. It might calm you down.
Okay? Jingle bells.
One. Two. Three. Four.
Dashing through the snow
-Ooh. Jingle Bells. -in a one-horse open sleigh.
Glad you took a minute to figure that one out.
Laughing all the way.
- Anyone have eyes on Mr. Malechai?
- ha ha ha. Bells on bobtail ring,
making spirits bright.
What fun it is to ride and
sing a sleighing song tonight.
- Oh, jingle bells, jingle...
- Okay. thats good. Thats good.
-Just one verse? -Well, theyve heard the song, Annie.
They know it.
You know what? We should do your song.
-Your original song. -Dad.
Well, come on, Annie.
Don't let Nick Malachi take this from you.
Okay? He's an asshole.
Your song is great, and
these people deserve to hear it.
We we haven't even rehearsed it.
I know my part.
(scoffs)
Yeah. okay, just, stand out a little
bit so they can hear you. Ready?
(guests chatting)
(group harmonizing )
Well have a merry Christmas
Ooo ooo
joyous festive cheer.
Ooo ooo
But when the tinsel and the lights are gone,
I'll still be here.
Doo doo doo
[Cole and Annie] Through
summers heat and autumns breezes.
(Dizzy harmonizes )
In laughter and in tears.
Ooo ooo
Our Christmas melody
can play
throughout the year.
Lets have a merry Christmas.
Ooo ooo
Lights are shining bright.
Ooo ooo
-Snowflakes gently falling on -(phone chirps)
this most enchanting night
Gathering near the fireside
Ooo ooo
or just hanging around the Christmas tree.
The magic part of Christmas,
Ooo ooo
Is youre with me.
Dum dum dum dum
We don't need to be told
when my year is growing old,
-Loved ones are gold -(phone chirps)
-So hold them to your heart -(phone chirps again)
Bum bum bum bum
When are we supposed to start?
Does it have to end?
So heres to love and laughter
Ooo ooo
A shiny, perfect night.
Ooo ooo
That we can carry with us all year long
(singing stops )
(scoffs)
(scoffs)
No. Annie... (sighs)
Go. Well cover for you.
You've got to do this before we run out of time.
Let's have a merry Christmas.
Ooo ooo
Theres somethin on the tree.
Ooo ooo
Maybe it's a reindeer...
[Cole] Annie?
Annie?
Oh, Annie.
What the... Where...?
God. Took forever to find you.
Where the hell are we?
Don't you have a diamond to steal?
Oh, so Miguel told you, huh?
Dad, Im not a moron. It's pretty obvious why...
Miguel is in on this?
Oh, don't be too hard on him.
I talked him into it.
He hated lying to you. He even tried to quit.
But he didn't quit.
No, he didn't quit.
-I don't know what to do, Annie. -(sorrowful music )
This wasn't part of my plan.
And...
planning
is what I'm good at.
You're terrible at planning.
Wha...
It's my job.
I'm not terrible at planning.
Name one plan you've made recently
that's actually worked out the way you expected it to.
But you know what? I didn't need you to have a plan, dad.
I just...
I just needed you.
But why do I keep letting you hurt me?
You don't keep letting me hurt you.
You keep letting me love you.
I keep missing my chance.
But not anymore.
I promise.
This has been the best Christmas ever.
These past couple of weeks with you.
Singing with you.
Just spending time with you.
It's been the highlight of my life.
(music ends )
Let's have a merry Christmas.
(scoffs)
All the bells are ringing.
You do remember It.
Of course I remember it. I wrote it.
Kids are getting presents,
everybodys singing
Ding dong
ding dong Christmas is here.
I love you, kiddo.
I love you too, dad.
But if you still want to steal Malachi's diamond,
I'm not going to stop you. That guy is an asshole.
And he doesn't deserve it.
You know his security is a joke.
They just let me wander in here
-without a second look. -Yeah, well...
It's too late.
[Phone] Malechai Security
-has been alerted. Do not panic. -I chose you.
-Your home is being invaded. -In fact, there should be
an alarm going off right now.
But I don't care about all that.
I just want to go back out there and sing with you.
Okay, well, can you steal Malachi's car or something?
Because that guy's a creep.
Sure.
We can do that.
Jesu, joy...
Come on, everybody.
Of man's desiring.
(whispering) Oh my God, thank God.
Dont know how much longer I could keep that up.
- I think they're starting to notice.
- Yeah, I think they are.
Where's Dizzy?
Wait, she said she was gonna look for you.
Wait, the alarms not going
off. Do you have the diamond?
Miguel, I think we were robbed.
(whispering) Dizzy double crossed us?
- Wait, that actually makes sense.
- Speaking of double crossing.
Okay, guys, we can take care
of whatever this is later. All right?
Right now, let's just do what we do best.
All right. We Wish You a Merry Christmas.
One. Two. Three.
-We wish you a... -(alarm blares)
(guests gasp)
(alarm continues)
(funky music )
Does anyone have eyes on Mr. Malechai?
(murmurs)
(footsteps)
- We're moving everyone to the lawn.
- [Annie] What's going on?
-Somebody stole Mr. Malechais diamond. -(alarm stops)
And Mr. Malachi. I think.
Maybe...
Mr. Malachi stole his own diamond?
- Did you guys see anything?
- No, I didn't see anything. Not a thing.
-Weve been here the whole time. -Okay. Follow us.
- Well, first paying gig out of the way.
- (funky music ends )
-Well, we didn't actually get paid. -(sirens)
Yeah, but it was worth it.
Definitely worth it.
Right, We Wish You a Merry Christmas.
One. Two. Three.
We wish...
(rock version of We Wish You a Merry Christmas )
(song ends )
(door rattles)
[Cole] Hello, Dizzy.
-The diamonds a fake. -Yeah.
-(music ) -When did you find out?
For sure? Right now.
But it shouldn't surprise you that Malachi is a fraud.
You should really learn more about diamonds, Dizzy.
I have a way that you could make it up to me.
I don't do that anymore.
I am out of the business.
I have a lead on a job.
Split four ways, it pays $11 million each.
It's a four person job?
Have you ever heard of scarolling?
It's like caroling for Halloween.
Im listenin.
Get Annie and Miguel,
we have 310 days to get ready.
(groovy music ends )
(raucous jazz Christmas music )
(sighs)
(door opens)
Hello, Nina.
Hello, Cole.
Been a while.
You look good.
Hmm.
I was thinking,
you know, if it's okay with you,
maybe we can start over.
You know, I could be a little more open about who I am.
You could learn a little bit about my terroir.
Anyway, this is where I'm from.
This is the best Syrah
that they make in West Virginia.
I didnt know, they made a good Syrah in West Virginia.
They don't.
(sighs)
-(door squeaks) -(tuba note hits )
(big final chord )