Midwinter Break (2026) Movie Script
1
(birds chirping)
(children chattering faintly)
(dog barking)
(laughter)
-(birds chirping)
-(traffic rumbling quietly)
(children chattering faintly)
(faint, indistinct chatter
continues)
STELLA: We never speak about
what happened in Belfast.
-(bell jingling)
-(quiet chatter)
Perhaps because beforehand
we were so full of hope.
-CHILD: Hi, Mrs. Gilmore.
-YOUNG STELLA: Hello.
(gunshots)
(children screaming)
STELLA: But a single day can
change the course of any life.
(medical monitor beeping)
(babies crying)
Leaving Ireland,
leaving our home...
...alone,
unmoored, adrift.
-And now...
-GERRY: Five?
...we seem to have become
exiles from each other
and the promises we made.
(blows softly)
The promise I made.
Oh-oh, yes
I'm the great pretender
("The Great Pretender"
by The Platters playing)
Pretending that
I'm doing well
My need is such
I pretend too much
I'm lonely
(over radio):
But no one can tell...
Bye, then.
Bye, darling.
Sure I can't tempt you?
What's that?
(Stella chuckles)
I played the game
But to my real shame
-(door opens)
-You've left me
-(door closes)
-To grieve...
(dogs barking in distance)
CONGREGATION:
Snow had fallen
Snow on snow
Snow on snow...
PRIEST:
The body of Christ.
-James...
-Amen.
...chapter four,
verse 14 tells us
you do not even know
what will happen tomorrow.
What is your life?
You are a mist that appears
for a little while
and then vanishes.
On this night of the year
more than any other,
we are reminded
to cherish those...
STELLA: I just wanted to say,
have a lovely Christmas.
-Oh, happy Christmas, dear.
-Yeah, so nice to see you.
-Yeah.
-See you soon.
Okay.
Good night.
Happy Christmas to you.
-Merry Christmas.
-Good night.
(chuckling):
Oh, sorry.
(sighs, sniffs)
(groans, sniffs)
(locks clicking)
STELLA:
I'm back.
(chuckling):
It's freezing out there.
(Gerry snoring)
(sighs)
(snoring continues)
(classical music playing
faintly over headphones)
(sighs)
(faint, distant chatter)
(door opens)
(sets plate down)
(takes deep breath)
(printer whirring)
(choral music playing quietly)
STELLA:
It's ringing.
It's the answer machine.
-GERRY: Leave a message.
-Aye.
(phone beeps)
Hi, Michael.
It's Mum and Dad here.
Not sure what time it is
-where you are.
-GERRY: Merry Christmas, son.
Give Toby a kiss from Granddad.
(chuckles)
Just calling to see how you
and the family are settling in.
You know, first Christmas
in your new abode.
All right, well, uh,
we're around, so...
Lots of love.
(choral music continues
playing quietly)
What's this?
Surprise.
Don't tell me. Don't tell me.
(Stella chuckling)
Shoes.
(both chuckling)
It's a little something--
for both of us.
GERRY:
Amsterdam?
I thought it was time
for an adventure.
That's... fantastic.
(both laughing)
-(stammers) Flights, hotel?
-Mm.
You've outdone yourself,
Mrs. Gilmore.
Start the New Year off
with a bang.
You'd better believe it.
(both laughing)
(sighs) You and me.
Me and you.
GERRY: Do you have
the passports, or do I?
STELLA: Passports,
eye drops, phone charger.
All in your shoulder bag.
GERRY:
What about my special shampoo?
STELLA:
That, too.
Uh, what's the limit again?
That's six minutes.
Someone whose opinion I trust
once said I was flamboyant
wearing this.
I was never entirely sure
whether that was a good thing
or a bad thing.
Oh, no, the knot's all wrong.
-What?
-Here.
(Gerry sighs)
STELLA:
Right.
-(Stella giggling)
-Don't choke me.
-It's tempting.
-(laughing)
-All right.
-There.
-That's better.
-Yeah. That's good.
-Okay. I'll...
-Right.
Oh, that's seven minutes.
I'm calling them.
(car horn honking)
Uh, there's the taxi now.
Oh!
Right. Uh...
-Uh, case.
-Right.
-Is that everything?
-Uh, yeah. Think so.
Sure? (sighs)
(locks clicking)
(indistinct chatter)
Well, some people have
more luggage than sense.
There it is.
GERRY: Where did you say
the shampoo was again?
(indistinct chatter)
Sweet before takeoff, modom?
(chiming)
FLIGHT ATTENDANT: For
everyone's comfort and safety,
would you please place
all hand baggage
under the seats in front of you
or in the overhead lockers,
providing they will close.
Oh. Nearly forgot.
What?
-Stop you from being sick.
-How?
It's a wristband.
Someone at church
recommended them.
Presses on
your pulse point here.
I'd be better off
saying a prayer.
Please, God, don't make me
vomit on this flight.
(Gerry laughs)
-(bells chiming)
-(birds chirping)
(sighs)
-STELLA: All right?
-GERRY: Yeah.
STELLA:
Looks nice.
-GERRY: Hello.
-STELLA: Hello.
-RECEPTIONIST: Hello.
-GERRY: How are you?
RECEPTIONIST:
Welcome to Amsterdam.
STELLA:
Thank you.
-Oh. (sniffs)
-(Gerry clears throat)
(Stella chuckles)
-(sniffs)
-(bell dings)
Here we are.
(Gerry grunts)
STELLA:
Huh. Hard to tell.
GERRY:
Let's try this way.
Yeah, this is it.
(groans, sighs)
-Try the other one.
-(sighs)
-(beeps)
-BOTH: Oh.
-There you go. We're in.
-(laughs)
Let there be...
-...light.
-(chuckles)
Oh, very nice.
Oh.
It's bigger than I thought.
It's lovely.
GERRY:
Yeah.
STELLA: Oh, would you look
at that gray sky?
(horn honks in distance)
Maybe next time,
you book somewhere
in one of
the sunnier hemispheres?
(Stella chuckling)
Time to test the bed.
-(groans)
-(Stella chuckles)
-(sighs)
-How is it?
Hard as a brick runway.
(both laugh)
(sighs) Perfect.
In fact, uh...
I might have a wee snooze.
Oh, it's the middle
of the afternoon.
So?
So, you never take a nap
in the middle of the afternoon.
Yeah, but we're on holiday.
It's always different.
-You don't mind, do you?
-Oh, if you insist.
-Half an hour. No more.
-(both laughing)
Chocolate, sir?
Oh, thank you, modom.
(Stella chuckles)
(Gerry sighs)
Oh, lovely.
This is the life.
(Stella chuckles)
(Stella chuckles softly)
-Ooh.
-(both chuckle)
(elevator bell dings)
-Ah. Hello.
-Hello.
Good evening.
Um, could you recommend
somewhere not too pricey
-for a drink this evening?
-You are in the right place.
Amsterdam is
so full of options.
-Right.
-Oh.
(traffic light clicking rapidly)
-(distant siren)
-(lively chatter)
(bicycle bell dings)
("The Mermaid" by Folksurprise
playing)
And the ocean waves do roll
And the stormy winds
do blow...
STELLA: Trust you to find the
only Irish pub in Amsterdam.
God, a well-built ant
could piss more.
STELLA:
And that's a double.
You're learning.
Killing you with kindness.
You and me.
Me and you.
This pretty mermaid
has warned me of our doom...
I suppose we're lucky
to have each other to ignore.
(laughs)
And the ocean waves do roll
And the stormy winds do blow
And we poor sailors
are skipping at the top...
The arrogance of amplification
in a space this size.
You used to like this one.
While the landlubbers
lie down below
This pretty mermaid
has warned me of our doom
We will sink to the bottom
of the sea
(singing along):
For me
And the ocean waves do roll
And the stormy winds do blow
(fading):
And we poor sailors...
GERRY: You know,
it's Ireland's greatest export:
a bullshit lesson
on how to enjoy yourself.
-That and the car bomb.
-Oh, would you...
Would you come away
from the edge?
-Gives me the weirdest feeling.
-What does?
STELLA:
Come on.
-GERRY: All right.
-All right. Hold my arm.
You're a liability, you are.
(bathwater running
in other room)
(reporter speaking Dutch
over TV)
(bathwater continues running)
-(birds chirping)
-(children chattering faintly)
(chatter in Dutch over TV)
(bathwater continues running
in other room)
(bathwater stops)
(splashing in other room)
(TV continues in other room)
(Dutch chatter,
laughter over TV)
(water splashing in other room)
(bathwater draining
in other room)
(grunts softly)
(changes channel)
REPORTER (over TV):
Unlike the Provisional IRA,
the new IRA possesses
limited weaponry.
It's enough to mount a campaign
but not on the same scale
as the paramilitary groups
of the past.
Following its ceasefire in 1994,
the Provisional IRA
decommissioned
the bulk of its arsenal,
much of it supplied by Libya...
On and on it goes.
Aye.
Are you, uh, done in there?
Aye.
MAN (over TV): Forensic
examination has revealed
that some of the weapons seized
from dissident Republicans
trace back
to the original stockpiles
of the Provisional IRA.
There are some figures,
some senior leadership figures,
who never bought
into the peace process...
(TV continues quietly)
(TV shuts off)
S-Stella.
Have you seen my statins?
Stella.
My statins-- have you seen them?
(Gerry sighs)
Have you looked in the wash bag?
-Uh...
-(Stella sighs)
STELLA:
Mm. There.
Sorry.
(exhales sharply)
(breathing deeply)
(bell clangs)
STELLA:
It's a religious community.
GERRY:
A convent?
STELLA: Uh, no, uh,
more like a sanctuary.
I think it's that way.
GERRY:
You think or you know?
'Cause having a map and knowing
the way are not the same thing.
STELLA:
Oh, shush.
GERRY:
Here.
Behold.
The Begijnhof.
-In there?
-Mm.
-Lead on.
-(both chuckle)
(Stella sighs)
(chuckles)
(hushed):
It's home to some of the oldest
buildings in the city.
For women who wanted
to live alone.
A sisterhood
of unmarried Catholic women.
In the 1600s,
Catholic worship was...
was banned by the Protestant
powers that be.
Why are we whispering?
(Stella laughs)
Public mass wasn't allowed,
so they used to do it
in their own homes, you know?
In secret.
Yeah, which is why
it doesn't look like a church
-from the outside.
-It's camouflaged.
They lived like nuns but...
without all the...
all the vows and what have you.
Hmm.
Reminds me of
van Gogh's prison yard.
Nonsense.
Excuse me.
Uh, is-is the church open yet?
(Irish accent): Which church
were you hoping to see?
(laughing):
Oh, you're Irish.
-She's Irish.
-(Gerry chuckles)
Guilty as charged.
Waterford originally, but I've
lived all over, really.
County Derry.
From a townland
nobody's heard of
-in a place nobody knows.
-(chuckles)
Do you live here?
Oh, yes,
I'm one of the lucky ones.
And what brings you
to Amsterdam?
Well, um...
we're not getting
any younger, so...
-(chuckles)
-(Stella chuckling)
And tell me again,
which of the churches was it
you wanted to see?
The Catholic one.
Oh.
It's just through here.
Oh, thank you.
-Okay.
-Gerry.
GERRY:
"The miracle of Amsterdam."
Ye olde graphic novel.
"In the year 1345
in the city of Amsterdam,
a man lay dying in a house
on Kalverstraat."
Solid opening gambit.
"A priest came
and gave the man communion.
"After he had gone,
the sick man felt so unwell
that he vomited up
the sacred host..."
-Lovely.
-"...into a bowl."
That's really put me
in the mood for lunch.
"The man died the next morning,
and his maid,
"she threw the contents
of the bowl into the fire.
"However, the following day,
"when the maid checked
the fireplace...
"...there it was, the host...
...untouched by the flames."
The priest had this place built
to commemorate the miracle.
Which was?
The indestructible host.
Well, it seems a bit...
minor league as miracles go.
You know, a fireproof wafer.
You know as well as I do, Gerry,
that miracles come
in all shapes and sizes.
Stella, what happened to you
was not miraculous.
Right, it was perfectly within
the bounds of possibilit...
(bicycle bells dinging)
(speaking Dutch)
(case pops open)
GERRY: Every time I open
my glasses case nowadays,
I'm pleasantly surprised
to find my glasses.
Now, that's a miracle.
The model married couple.
I think you can see
how much he cherishes her.
Why is she protecting
her stomach?
(quiet chatter)
(Stella groans softly)
Everything all right?
Oh, my feet are throbbing.
I've been on my pegs
all morning.
Ah. You're not going
to chicken out, are you?
No, no. It's a pit stop.
Okay.
Look, I can't not see
The Night Watch, so...
-No.
-So, um, why don't we meet
in the caf in, uh...
-30 minutes for a bit of lunch?
-Sure.
Okay?
All right.
See ya.
(quiet chatter)
(Gerry exhales sharply)
That cold,
it would cut right through you.
(both sigh)
(Gerry groans)
(both sighing)
(Gerry grunts)
Ah, God.
STELLA:
Oh. (chuckles)
GERRY:
Oh, yeah. (chuckles)
(both continue sighing)
Would-would you look what
these socks have done to me.
Egg timer.
Look. Feel it.
Uh, no, I'm happy to forgo that
at the moment.
(Gerry groans)
Oh, God.
(Gerry grunting)
Stop it.
(groans) The only thing that
feels better than this is...
-You'll make it worse.
-(chuckling)
Oh, I know you shouldn't,
but when you give in, Stella...
-when you give in...
-You'll draw blood.
-(Gerry grunts)
-(Stella sighs)
(sighs)
Oh, that's better.
(breathing heavily)
What?
(Stella chuckles)
(Stella chuckles)
(Gerry grunts)
Help us with this, will you?
(both laughing)
Gerry?
Hmm?
Do you ever think about
where you'd like to be buried?
Other than with you, you mean?
At home or in Scotland, I mean.
Is Scotland not home?
What happens
when all of this stops?
Then...
there'll be no more.
And what'll be the point then?
-(bell tolling)
-(birds chirping)
(quiet chatter)
-(glass clinks)
-(drink pouring)
(grunts softly)
(drink pouring)
(water running)
-(loud thud, Stella gasps)
-GERRY: Fuck! Jesus!
-Stella! (groans)
-Yes, I'm coming, Gerry.
-I slipped.
-Oh, come on.
-(grunting)
-Come on.
It's all right. It's all right.
God... (laughing)
-Oh, God.
-It's no laughing matter.
All right.
Wait a minute.
Let's get this on you.
It's all right. It's all right.
(Gerry groaning, panting)
Get your legs over.
All right, come on.
One at a time.
(Gerry grunting)
I could've been a goner.
-Oh, shh. You're all right.
-(shuts off water)
-There. Oh.
-(groans, pants)
-There's no bath mat.
-Oh.
(Gerry breathing heavily)
Every bath should have
a rubber mat.
I know. I know.
Oh. Oh, you're all right.
Come on, now. Steady. Steady.
-Oh, you're shaking.
-(grunts)
-(continues breathing heavily)
-Good man. Good man.
Sorry.
I didn't mean to laugh.
-(groans softly)
-You all right?
Yeah, yeah.
(cork squeaks, pops)
GERRY:
Oh, just pour away.
-SERVER: Sure?
-GERRY: I'm sure it's fine.
Ah.
-STELLA and SERVER: Thank you.
-GERRY: Thanks.
(Stella clears throat)
Moderation in all things.
-Especially moderation.
-Moderation.
Mm.
(Gerry grunts softly)
There's something
I'd like to talk to you about.
Gerry, I'm tired of living
the way we do.
-(scoffs)
-I keep...
I keep f-feeling at a loose end,
you know, at home.
What with Michael gone,
and-and it doesn't sound like
there's going to be
any more grandchildren.
What's my role?
What if we've cut the cloth
of our lives all wrong?
There's too...
great a sense of drift.
And I keep thinking... I...
I keep thinking, Gerry,
that I-I...
I want to do something better.
What do you mean, better?
Better in what way?
I want to live
a more devout life.
It's an unfashionable word
nowadays, I know.
Well, there's nothing wrong
with you, is there?
Not in any physical sense, no.
No, no, yes, but hang on
a minute, Stella.
-Just hang on. No, it...
-No, no, no, there's nothing
wrong with me.
Gerry, calm yourself. No.
(Stella sighs)
But I'd like to make
an appointment.
You know, the place we...
we visited this morning.
Just to speak to someone.
I mean, the talk was
that it's a good place
for women like me who want
to live a more religious life.
A-A community
of like-minded women
interested in-in exploring
the big questions.
And there's somebody in there
with all the answers, is there?
These are questions
that you have to answer
for yourself, Gerry.
(Gerry scoffs, chuckles)
We should order. I'm famished.
(faucet running)
(faucet stops)
(Gerry continues brushing teeth)
-(brushing stops)
-(faucet running)
(Gerry grunts softly)
-(Gerry grunts)
-(faucet stops)
Did you take your statins?
Yeah.
(both sighing)
(Gerry sighs, grunts)
(birds squawking)
(Gerry sighs softly)
(quiet chatter)
Thank you.
(Gerry clears throat)
Uh, are you, um...
...any...
easier in your mind
about yesterday?
See, I'm trying to remember
what was said.
Unlucky with the weather,
haven't we?
-Stella.
-Let's eat. We should eat.
(bells chiming)
(bicycle bell dings)
(Gerry grunts softly)
(bicycle bell dinging)
Oh, she's thought of everything.
(quiet chatter)
(espresso machine
steam wand hissing)
What is it, love?
Do you remember
Schindler's List?
At the end?
The pebbles on the gravestones,
the little tokens?
I noticed something similar
at the end, on the wee shelf.
I used to do that book
with so many classes in school.
And so I thought... (chuckling)
I thought,
"Why don't I leave something?"
Yeah, and what's wrong
with that?
Oh, it's stupid.
-Says who?
-I've no right.
Why? It's a perfectly
legitimate gesture.
No, it's shameful is what it is.
-I'm not even Jewish.
-Ah, come on, Stella.
Don't take things so seriously.
Gerry, if you can't take
the Holocaust seriously...
You know what I mean, right?
You felt something, right?
You took action.
-You did a thoughtful thing.
-No. No.
I did a selfish thing
to make myself feel better.
There's a difference.
Why is anything spiritual
so impossible for you to grasp?
Cake?
Cake?
(sighs)
(birds chirping)
(breathing deeply)
BARMAN AIDAN:
How you doing?
GERRY:
Pint of stout. Thanks.
And a...
("Sideways to the Sun"
by Horslips playing quietly)
...large whiskey, no ice.
(drink pouring)
(breathing deeply)
Are you, uh, from Derry?
-Donegal?
-Derry.
GERRY: Ah.
I studied there for a while.
-Magee College.
-Oh, yeah?
Yeah. A bit before
your time, obviously.
Don't tell me.
Accountant?
Architect.
Same again?
To play old airs
We said we could
be friends...
GERRY:
Graduated in the mid-'70s,
and then as luck would have it,
Liam McCormick took me on.
He was a big architect
in Belfast back then.
And then they burnt the entire
bloody place to the ground.
Petrol bomb.
No one was killed, thank God.
Aye, but all that work, though,
you know?
Years and years of hard work
up in smoke.
Ireland's fight
for fucking freedom.
It wasn't long after that
that we left.
To?
(sucks teeth) Glasgow.
Miss it much?
Work?
Home.
You know, um...
we used to have
these scale models.
There was, uh,
cars the size of Dinky Toys.
Trees as small as
those little cotton buds.
You know?
Tiny figurines.
Mini churches,
libraries, streets.
Windows were made
out of cellophane.
They were minuscule.
They were dis-architects,
those fellas.
The end of human decency,
in the name of religion.
I can still smell it.
The black char.
(drink pouring from tap)
Yes, they certainly leveled
my career, anyway.
Strictly third division
after that.
("The Old Rustic Bridge" by Big
Tom and the Mainliners playing)
-That was on a good day.
-Hmm.
Ah, would you look
at the dome on that.
(chuckles)
Norman Foster,
eat your heart out.
(chuckles)
Though now far away
Still my thoughts
fondly stray
To the old rustic bridge
by the mill...
Taste...
texture, temperature, perfect.
(chuckles softly)
Some people say
the black stuff transforms you,
you know, brings out
the worst in you.
Not me.
-I love people.
-(chuckles softly)
I've always loved people.
I'm a people person.
(both chuckling)
(lively chatter
and laughter outside)
Stella.
Do you know what
I'd like to do tonight?
What?
Something fun.
(lively chatter)
GERRY: The railwaymen would
leave their burning lanterns
outside the bordello doors.
Red lanterns.
-Red-light district.
-STELLA: Charming.
Oh.
I hesitate to say
what turns me on,
but this certainly isn't it.
I just feel so sorry for them.
Aye.
The lighting is awful.
(chuckles) I know.
That's UV lighting.
The same thing the butchers
used to use to kill the flies.
(both laughing)
I know.
("Uit M'n Bol" by Andr Hazes
playing)
(song continues
with singing in Dutch)
GERRY:
An ant could piss more.
Before you English had gin,
we had jenever.
I'm not English.
With a beer, it's very good.
(conversation continues
indistinctly)
Here we go.
-There.
-Oh.
What are we drinking?
-Jenever.
-What?
Jenever.
First you drink the beer,
then you drink the, uh...
-Jenever?
-Jenever.
-Ha.
-Cheers.
Cheers.
Ah.
-(sets glass down)
-(Stella exhales)
(laughing):
Holy Mary, Mother of God.
(both laughing)
Same again?
(Stella laughing)
What bliss to be away
from all that noise.
Aye.
(Stella laughing)
(bell tolling)
-(gasps) Gerry.
-Huh?
STELLA:
Look.
Come on.
(horse huffing softly)
(horse huffing softly)
Oh, you're beautiful.
(Stella chuckles)
-(bells chiming)
-(birds squawking)
(rustling in other room)
-(Gerry sighs)
-Morning.
What's that for?
Body.
Think it would do anything
for my body?
(Stella grunts softly)
What's the occasion?
Oh, thought I'd go back
to the Begijnhof again.
The vomiting miracle place?
Uh, d-do you want me
to go with you?
No, thank you. Mm.
STELLA:
Oh.
(clears throat)
Good morning.
I wonder if you could help me.
(Hennie speaking Dutch)
Oh.
Thank you. (clears throat)
(typing)
(quiet chatter)
(breathing deeply)
Excuse me.
Excuse me. Uh, uh,
I have a plane to catch.
-A flight.
-Please sit.
No, no. (stammers)
-Is there anyone else that I...
-Hello again.
-Oh, hello.
-(both chuckling)
-Um... Sorry, just...
-Oh, sorry. No, no, no.
(Kathy and Hennie
conversing in Dutch)
-Hi. Um...
-Hi.
I'm sorry.
Hennie is very busy right now.
But maybe I can help you
with something?
That would be lovely, yeah.
My house is just down there.
Right.
(sighs)
The gardens are
so beautifully kept.
KATHY (chuckling):
Yeah.
In the summer,
they're extraordinary.
Especially in the evenings,
with the night-scented stock.
Oh.
It's so quiet.
KATHY: It's a meter lower
than the outside world.
The noise goes over
its head somehow.
This is me here.
Oh.
(Stella chuckles)
(lock clicking)
(traffic light clicking rapidly)
Stairway to heaven.
The only disadvantage is
when you want a grand piano.
Maybe stick to the violin.
(Kathy chuckling)
Oh, it's lovely.
Minimalist.
Sit yourself down.
I'll make us some tea.
Thank you.
("Something in the Air"
by Thunderclap Newman playing)
Lock up the streets
and houses
Because there's
something in the air
We've got to get together
sooner or later
Because
the revolution's here
And you know it's right
And you know
that it's right...
KATHY: So, what can I do
for you, Stella?
STELLA:
Well, um...
Oh, do you need sugar?
-Uh, no, thank you.
-Oh.
I suppose I just wanted
to make an inquiry.
I was in Amsterdam
some 30-odd years ago.
KATHY:
Mm-hmm?
Teacher training conference.
Are you a teacher, Stella?
-I was.
-Me, too.
Oh. (laughs)
For years, I was an Irishwoman
living in Scotland
teaching English.
An Irishwoman in the Netherlands
teaching comparative religion
and maths.
(chuckling):
Oh. Right.
Well, that was when
I first heard about it.
You know, the setup here.
Ah...
But back then, uh,
there was no urgency.
What's the urgency now?
I want to live
a more valuable life, Kathy.
To make a contribution.
However small.
You know, so...
I suppose, really,
I just wanted to find out
about the life here, you know.
How someone like me
might go about applying
to become part of this.
This?
The order.
The sisterhood.
(sighs) Stella, I don't know
where you've been getting
your information from, but...
there's no religious order now.
Not anymore.
There hasn't been a sister
living here since 1971.
(stammers softly)
What is there?
Affordable living
for anyone who can afford it.
(stammers softly)
So the sisterhood is
a figment of my imagination?
No. The sisterhood is real.
But the religious aspect...
the religious aspect
has all but disappeared.
So I've got this all wrong.
It's possible still
for women to live here.
The only criteria is that
you must be prepared
to live by yourself.
Older than 30, younger than 65.
That rules me out, then.
Oh, no.
I don't believe it.
The other hitch
is that I'm married.
(sighs)
Though I'm not sure how much
marriage we've got left in us.
("Something in the Air"
continues)
Lock up the streets...
Can I ask you...
Are-are you...
A Catholic?
Right.
Do you still practice?
You know, prayer and so forth?
(chuckles softly)
Kathy, I... I want
to tell you something.
(chuckling): It-it's something
I've never really told anyone.
I was involved in an accident.
This was years ago.
It was our first summer together
as husband and wife.
I was pregnant.
I mean, very, very,
heavily pregnant.
It was unseasonably hot.
Uh, too hot for tights, anyway.
(chuckles)
Somebody was ambushing
somebody else.
I'm not sure how long
I'd been running for,
but all of a sudden,
running became falling,
and falling became...
not moving.
Sprawled.
At first,
I worried that I'd wet myself.
And then I-I thought, you know,
it-it must be my-my waters.
You know,
my waters must have broken.
-KATHY: Mm-hmm.
-(Stella sniffles)
But then, of course, I realized.
So I said a prayer.
As I lay there on the street
not-not-not knowing
one way or the other
what was going to happen.
(crying): I said the only
prayer I could remember.
As an act of contrition,
and I-I knew that wasn't right.
I knew that wasn't
what I wanted.
I mean, that's to save yourself.
I knew that,
and I wanted to save my baby.
So I said...
I said, "Lord...
"spare the child
inside my womb...
...and I will devote
the rest of my life to you."
"Lord, let my baby live,
"and I will devote
the rest of my life...
...to you."
Now...
...either it was a miracle
or, as Gerry would say,
the wee one must have ducked,
but the bullet passed
right through me,
in one side and out the other.
The only damage was that
I wouldn't be able to have
any more children.
But that vow...
that pledge...
Kathy, that bargain...
...there is a debt to be paid,
and I've been looking for a way
to pay it ever since.
I've never breathed
a word of this to-to anyone,
not even to Gerry.
(sobbing):
But here I am...
...at my age, and...
...and I've failed.
I'm a failure.
(shuddering breaths)
("The 7 Last Words of Jesus
Christ Sonata IV. Largo" plays)
(breath trembling softly)
(door opens)
-(vehicle engine idling)
-(vehicle door opens, closes)
(hotel door closing)
-(waves crashing)
-(birds squawking)
-(waves crashing)
-(birds squawking)
(camera shutter clicks)
(music ends)
You still haven't told me
how your meeting went.
No, I don't suppose I have.
WOMAN (over P.A.):
...are ready for you to proceed
to departure gate number 42.
(electronic chiming over P.A.)
MAN (over P.A.): If you see
any unattended luggage
or anything suspicious,
please contact
a member of staff immediately.
(announcement continues
in Dutch)
(rummaging)
(twists cap off bottle)
(twists cap on bottle)
(grunts softly)
You'll do yourself damage.
As if you would care.
-Pardon?
-You heard me.
Oh, Jesus, give me peace.
(electronic chiming over P.A.)
(indistinct announcement
over P.A.)
-Oh, for God's sake.
-Oh.
(quiet chatter)
Here.
(Gerry grunts)
(sighs)
Gerry, when we get home...
I'd like to put the flat up
for sale, and...
and then I want to get
a place of my own.
You'd be better off
waiting till summer.
More chance of getting
a better price.
Gerry, you're not
listening to me.
I can't go on
living the way we do.
I won't.
(takes deep breath)
I mean, the drinking.
If I mention it, I'm a nag.
If I don't, then I'm complicit.
Do you not think I don't see it?
Smell it?
Yes, I suppose you could go on
doing it behind my back
until you've no liver left.
(Gerry clears throat softly)
But it's not just the drinking.
It-it's the deception
that goes along with it.
It's ruining you.
Says you.
Well, it's ruining me,
that's for sure.
I wouldn't know about that.
You used to be so considerate.
What's happened to you?
These days, you're...
you're nothing but appetite.
Okay. Fine, then.
I'll stop, okay?
-Right? No, I will. I'll quit.
-(sighs)
-Oh, Gerry.
-No, look, I mean it.
(stammering): If you're serious
about this, then I am, too.
-I've heard it all before.
-(stammering): No, look.
I-I can do it, okay?
I... We can... I...
(sighs) I can change.
I mean, I gave up
the cigarettes, didn't I?
You think I don't know
how to change?
Huh?
You think I-I don't know
what this stuff is doing to me?
Sure, I hate myself as much
as you do when I'm drinking.
Well, then, why in God's name
do you put yourself through it?
Because I hate myself even more
when I'm not.
What about my faith?
(sighs) What about it?
-We believe in different things.
-So?
I mean, we've always known that.
But it's gotten
so much worse, Gerry.
I mean... the mockery.
No, I have never
mocked you, Stella.
Oh, well, if that's not mockery,
then I don't know what is.
It's-it's a debate, right?
We're... No, we're talking
about debating the...
the-the greatest deception
that we've known
-in our entire lives.
-No. No.
(voice shaking):
We are talking about...
-...respect.
-(scoffs)
Stella.
The joking
and the poking fun and...
the derision and scorn.
I mean, it-it...
It's like you-you have no idea
how much you hurt me and...
Or maybe you do and you just
don't care anymore.
I'm not sure which is worse.
Surely, Stella, then I have
to be allowed my truth.
The truth.
You're doing it again.
-You're dismissing me.
-(stammers)
(Gerry sighs)
(crying): All I want
is to feel close, you know?
It's too much.
(sniffles)
(quiet chatter)
(electronic chiming over P.A.)
WOMAN (over P.A.):
Attention, all passengers
for flight BM1463 to Glasgow...
-(announcement fades)
-(grunts softly)
It's still chucking it down.
Sweet, modom?
Stella.
Uh...
My being with you is
the most wonderful thing
there is.
I adore you.
And when I think of the future,
all I think about is you.
And I wish I had been there
with you in Belfast,
and I know that I'll never
be able to share
in what happened to you
that day.
But, um...
I-I-I won't ever...
be able to accept
your version of events,
and I'll tell you why.
Because...
passing through this world
beside you,
that's the real miracle.
The miracle is you.
(sighs softly)
Uh...
Look.
Is that a plane?
STELLA:
It's not moving.
I think it's the morning star.
Do you think
we'll ever get away?
(Stella chuckles softly)
We can only hope.
("This Time Tomorrow"
by The Kinks playing)
This time tomorrow
Where will we be?
On a spaceship somewhere
Sailing across an empty sea
This time tomorrow
What will we know?
Will we still be here
Watching an in-flight
movie show?
I'll leave the sun behind me
And I'll watch the clouds
As they sadly pass me by
Seven miles below me
I can see the world
And it ain't so big at all
Well, this time tomorrow
What will we see?
Fields full of houses
Endless rows
of crowded streets
I don't know where I'm going
I don't want to see
I feel the world below me
-Looking up
-Looking up, looking up
Looking up at me
Leave the sun behind me
And I'll watch the clouds
As they sadly pass me by
And I'm in perpetual motion
And the world below
Doesn't matter much to me
Well, this time tomorrow
Where will we be?
On a spaceship somewhere
Sailing across an empty sea
Well, this time tomorrow
This time tomorrow
Where will we be?
(song ends)
(music fades)
(birds chirping)
(children chattering faintly)
(dog barking)
(laughter)
-(birds chirping)
-(traffic rumbling quietly)
(children chattering faintly)
(faint, indistinct chatter
continues)
STELLA: We never speak about
what happened in Belfast.
-(bell jingling)
-(quiet chatter)
Perhaps because beforehand
we were so full of hope.
-CHILD: Hi, Mrs. Gilmore.
-YOUNG STELLA: Hello.
(gunshots)
(children screaming)
STELLA: But a single day can
change the course of any life.
(medical monitor beeping)
(babies crying)
Leaving Ireland,
leaving our home...
...alone,
unmoored, adrift.
-And now...
-GERRY: Five?
...we seem to have become
exiles from each other
and the promises we made.
(blows softly)
The promise I made.
Oh-oh, yes
I'm the great pretender
("The Great Pretender"
by The Platters playing)
Pretending that
I'm doing well
My need is such
I pretend too much
I'm lonely
(over radio):
But no one can tell...
Bye, then.
Bye, darling.
Sure I can't tempt you?
What's that?
(Stella chuckles)
I played the game
But to my real shame
-(door opens)
-You've left me
-(door closes)
-To grieve...
(dogs barking in distance)
CONGREGATION:
Snow had fallen
Snow on snow
Snow on snow...
PRIEST:
The body of Christ.
-James...
-Amen.
...chapter four,
verse 14 tells us
you do not even know
what will happen tomorrow.
What is your life?
You are a mist that appears
for a little while
and then vanishes.
On this night of the year
more than any other,
we are reminded
to cherish those...
STELLA: I just wanted to say,
have a lovely Christmas.
-Oh, happy Christmas, dear.
-Yeah, so nice to see you.
-Yeah.
-See you soon.
Okay.
Good night.
Happy Christmas to you.
-Merry Christmas.
-Good night.
(chuckling):
Oh, sorry.
(sighs, sniffs)
(groans, sniffs)
(locks clicking)
STELLA:
I'm back.
(chuckling):
It's freezing out there.
(Gerry snoring)
(sighs)
(snoring continues)
(classical music playing
faintly over headphones)
(sighs)
(faint, distant chatter)
(door opens)
(sets plate down)
(takes deep breath)
(printer whirring)
(choral music playing quietly)
STELLA:
It's ringing.
It's the answer machine.
-GERRY: Leave a message.
-Aye.
(phone beeps)
Hi, Michael.
It's Mum and Dad here.
Not sure what time it is
-where you are.
-GERRY: Merry Christmas, son.
Give Toby a kiss from Granddad.
(chuckles)
Just calling to see how you
and the family are settling in.
You know, first Christmas
in your new abode.
All right, well, uh,
we're around, so...
Lots of love.
(choral music continues
playing quietly)
What's this?
Surprise.
Don't tell me. Don't tell me.
(Stella chuckling)
Shoes.
(both chuckling)
It's a little something--
for both of us.
GERRY:
Amsterdam?
I thought it was time
for an adventure.
That's... fantastic.
(both laughing)
-(stammers) Flights, hotel?
-Mm.
You've outdone yourself,
Mrs. Gilmore.
Start the New Year off
with a bang.
You'd better believe it.
(both laughing)
(sighs) You and me.
Me and you.
GERRY: Do you have
the passports, or do I?
STELLA: Passports,
eye drops, phone charger.
All in your shoulder bag.
GERRY:
What about my special shampoo?
STELLA:
That, too.
Uh, what's the limit again?
That's six minutes.
Someone whose opinion I trust
once said I was flamboyant
wearing this.
I was never entirely sure
whether that was a good thing
or a bad thing.
Oh, no, the knot's all wrong.
-What?
-Here.
(Gerry sighs)
STELLA:
Right.
-(Stella giggling)
-Don't choke me.
-It's tempting.
-(laughing)
-All right.
-There.
-That's better.
-Yeah. That's good.
-Okay. I'll...
-Right.
Oh, that's seven minutes.
I'm calling them.
(car horn honking)
Uh, there's the taxi now.
Oh!
Right. Uh...
-Uh, case.
-Right.
-Is that everything?
-Uh, yeah. Think so.
Sure? (sighs)
(locks clicking)
(indistinct chatter)
Well, some people have
more luggage than sense.
There it is.
GERRY: Where did you say
the shampoo was again?
(indistinct chatter)
Sweet before takeoff, modom?
(chiming)
FLIGHT ATTENDANT: For
everyone's comfort and safety,
would you please place
all hand baggage
under the seats in front of you
or in the overhead lockers,
providing they will close.
Oh. Nearly forgot.
What?
-Stop you from being sick.
-How?
It's a wristband.
Someone at church
recommended them.
Presses on
your pulse point here.
I'd be better off
saying a prayer.
Please, God, don't make me
vomit on this flight.
(Gerry laughs)
-(bells chiming)
-(birds chirping)
(sighs)
-STELLA: All right?
-GERRY: Yeah.
STELLA:
Looks nice.
-GERRY: Hello.
-STELLA: Hello.
-RECEPTIONIST: Hello.
-GERRY: How are you?
RECEPTIONIST:
Welcome to Amsterdam.
STELLA:
Thank you.
-Oh. (sniffs)
-(Gerry clears throat)
(Stella chuckles)
-(sniffs)
-(bell dings)
Here we are.
(Gerry grunts)
STELLA:
Huh. Hard to tell.
GERRY:
Let's try this way.
Yeah, this is it.
(groans, sighs)
-Try the other one.
-(sighs)
-(beeps)
-BOTH: Oh.
-There you go. We're in.
-(laughs)
Let there be...
-...light.
-(chuckles)
Oh, very nice.
Oh.
It's bigger than I thought.
It's lovely.
GERRY:
Yeah.
STELLA: Oh, would you look
at that gray sky?
(horn honks in distance)
Maybe next time,
you book somewhere
in one of
the sunnier hemispheres?
(Stella chuckling)
Time to test the bed.
-(groans)
-(Stella chuckles)
-(sighs)
-How is it?
Hard as a brick runway.
(both laugh)
(sighs) Perfect.
In fact, uh...
I might have a wee snooze.
Oh, it's the middle
of the afternoon.
So?
So, you never take a nap
in the middle of the afternoon.
Yeah, but we're on holiday.
It's always different.
-You don't mind, do you?
-Oh, if you insist.
-Half an hour. No more.
-(both laughing)
Chocolate, sir?
Oh, thank you, modom.
(Stella chuckles)
(Gerry sighs)
Oh, lovely.
This is the life.
(Stella chuckles)
(Stella chuckles softly)
-Ooh.
-(both chuckle)
(elevator bell dings)
-Ah. Hello.
-Hello.
Good evening.
Um, could you recommend
somewhere not too pricey
-for a drink this evening?
-You are in the right place.
Amsterdam is
so full of options.
-Right.
-Oh.
(traffic light clicking rapidly)
-(distant siren)
-(lively chatter)
(bicycle bell dings)
("The Mermaid" by Folksurprise
playing)
And the ocean waves do roll
And the stormy winds
do blow...
STELLA: Trust you to find the
only Irish pub in Amsterdam.
God, a well-built ant
could piss more.
STELLA:
And that's a double.
You're learning.
Killing you with kindness.
You and me.
Me and you.
This pretty mermaid
has warned me of our doom...
I suppose we're lucky
to have each other to ignore.
(laughs)
And the ocean waves do roll
And the stormy winds do blow
And we poor sailors
are skipping at the top...
The arrogance of amplification
in a space this size.
You used to like this one.
While the landlubbers
lie down below
This pretty mermaid
has warned me of our doom
We will sink to the bottom
of the sea
(singing along):
For me
And the ocean waves do roll
And the stormy winds do blow
(fading):
And we poor sailors...
GERRY: You know,
it's Ireland's greatest export:
a bullshit lesson
on how to enjoy yourself.
-That and the car bomb.
-Oh, would you...
Would you come away
from the edge?
-Gives me the weirdest feeling.
-What does?
STELLA:
Come on.
-GERRY: All right.
-All right. Hold my arm.
You're a liability, you are.
(bathwater running
in other room)
(reporter speaking Dutch
over TV)
(bathwater continues running)
-(birds chirping)
-(children chattering faintly)
(chatter in Dutch over TV)
(bathwater continues running
in other room)
(bathwater stops)
(splashing in other room)
(TV continues in other room)
(Dutch chatter,
laughter over TV)
(water splashing in other room)
(bathwater draining
in other room)
(grunts softly)
(changes channel)
REPORTER (over TV):
Unlike the Provisional IRA,
the new IRA possesses
limited weaponry.
It's enough to mount a campaign
but not on the same scale
as the paramilitary groups
of the past.
Following its ceasefire in 1994,
the Provisional IRA
decommissioned
the bulk of its arsenal,
much of it supplied by Libya...
On and on it goes.
Aye.
Are you, uh, done in there?
Aye.
MAN (over TV): Forensic
examination has revealed
that some of the weapons seized
from dissident Republicans
trace back
to the original stockpiles
of the Provisional IRA.
There are some figures,
some senior leadership figures,
who never bought
into the peace process...
(TV continues quietly)
(TV shuts off)
S-Stella.
Have you seen my statins?
Stella.
My statins-- have you seen them?
(Gerry sighs)
Have you looked in the wash bag?
-Uh...
-(Stella sighs)
STELLA:
Mm. There.
Sorry.
(exhales sharply)
(breathing deeply)
(bell clangs)
STELLA:
It's a religious community.
GERRY:
A convent?
STELLA: Uh, no, uh,
more like a sanctuary.
I think it's that way.
GERRY:
You think or you know?
'Cause having a map and knowing
the way are not the same thing.
STELLA:
Oh, shush.
GERRY:
Here.
Behold.
The Begijnhof.
-In there?
-Mm.
-Lead on.
-(both chuckle)
(Stella sighs)
(chuckles)
(hushed):
It's home to some of the oldest
buildings in the city.
For women who wanted
to live alone.
A sisterhood
of unmarried Catholic women.
In the 1600s,
Catholic worship was...
was banned by the Protestant
powers that be.
Why are we whispering?
(Stella laughs)
Public mass wasn't allowed,
so they used to do it
in their own homes, you know?
In secret.
Yeah, which is why
it doesn't look like a church
-from the outside.
-It's camouflaged.
They lived like nuns but...
without all the...
all the vows and what have you.
Hmm.
Reminds me of
van Gogh's prison yard.
Nonsense.
Excuse me.
Uh, is-is the church open yet?
(Irish accent): Which church
were you hoping to see?
(laughing):
Oh, you're Irish.
-She's Irish.
-(Gerry chuckles)
Guilty as charged.
Waterford originally, but I've
lived all over, really.
County Derry.
From a townland
nobody's heard of
-in a place nobody knows.
-(chuckles)
Do you live here?
Oh, yes,
I'm one of the lucky ones.
And what brings you
to Amsterdam?
Well, um...
we're not getting
any younger, so...
-(chuckles)
-(Stella chuckling)
And tell me again,
which of the churches was it
you wanted to see?
The Catholic one.
Oh.
It's just through here.
Oh, thank you.
-Okay.
-Gerry.
GERRY:
"The miracle of Amsterdam."
Ye olde graphic novel.
"In the year 1345
in the city of Amsterdam,
a man lay dying in a house
on Kalverstraat."
Solid opening gambit.
"A priest came
and gave the man communion.
"After he had gone,
the sick man felt so unwell
that he vomited up
the sacred host..."
-Lovely.
-"...into a bowl."
That's really put me
in the mood for lunch.
"The man died the next morning,
and his maid,
"she threw the contents
of the bowl into the fire.
"However, the following day,
"when the maid checked
the fireplace...
"...there it was, the host...
...untouched by the flames."
The priest had this place built
to commemorate the miracle.
Which was?
The indestructible host.
Well, it seems a bit...
minor league as miracles go.
You know, a fireproof wafer.
You know as well as I do, Gerry,
that miracles come
in all shapes and sizes.
Stella, what happened to you
was not miraculous.
Right, it was perfectly within
the bounds of possibilit...
(bicycle bells dinging)
(speaking Dutch)
(case pops open)
GERRY: Every time I open
my glasses case nowadays,
I'm pleasantly surprised
to find my glasses.
Now, that's a miracle.
The model married couple.
I think you can see
how much he cherishes her.
Why is she protecting
her stomach?
(quiet chatter)
(Stella groans softly)
Everything all right?
Oh, my feet are throbbing.
I've been on my pegs
all morning.
Ah. You're not going
to chicken out, are you?
No, no. It's a pit stop.
Okay.
Look, I can't not see
The Night Watch, so...
-No.
-So, um, why don't we meet
in the caf in, uh...
-30 minutes for a bit of lunch?
-Sure.
Okay?
All right.
See ya.
(quiet chatter)
(Gerry exhales sharply)
That cold,
it would cut right through you.
(both sigh)
(Gerry groans)
(both sighing)
(Gerry grunts)
Ah, God.
STELLA:
Oh. (chuckles)
GERRY:
Oh, yeah. (chuckles)
(both continue sighing)
Would-would you look what
these socks have done to me.
Egg timer.
Look. Feel it.
Uh, no, I'm happy to forgo that
at the moment.
(Gerry groans)
Oh, God.
(Gerry grunting)
Stop it.
(groans) The only thing that
feels better than this is...
-You'll make it worse.
-(chuckling)
Oh, I know you shouldn't,
but when you give in, Stella...
-when you give in...
-You'll draw blood.
-(Gerry grunts)
-(Stella sighs)
(sighs)
Oh, that's better.
(breathing heavily)
What?
(Stella chuckles)
(Stella chuckles)
(Gerry grunts)
Help us with this, will you?
(both laughing)
Gerry?
Hmm?
Do you ever think about
where you'd like to be buried?
Other than with you, you mean?
At home or in Scotland, I mean.
Is Scotland not home?
What happens
when all of this stops?
Then...
there'll be no more.
And what'll be the point then?
-(bell tolling)
-(birds chirping)
(quiet chatter)
-(glass clinks)
-(drink pouring)
(grunts softly)
(drink pouring)
(water running)
-(loud thud, Stella gasps)
-GERRY: Fuck! Jesus!
-Stella! (groans)
-Yes, I'm coming, Gerry.
-I slipped.
-Oh, come on.
-(grunting)
-Come on.
It's all right. It's all right.
God... (laughing)
-Oh, God.
-It's no laughing matter.
All right.
Wait a minute.
Let's get this on you.
It's all right. It's all right.
(Gerry groaning, panting)
Get your legs over.
All right, come on.
One at a time.
(Gerry grunting)
I could've been a goner.
-Oh, shh. You're all right.
-(shuts off water)
-There. Oh.
-(groans, pants)
-There's no bath mat.
-Oh.
(Gerry breathing heavily)
Every bath should have
a rubber mat.
I know. I know.
Oh. Oh, you're all right.
Come on, now. Steady. Steady.
-Oh, you're shaking.
-(grunts)
-(continues breathing heavily)
-Good man. Good man.
Sorry.
I didn't mean to laugh.
-(groans softly)
-You all right?
Yeah, yeah.
(cork squeaks, pops)
GERRY:
Oh, just pour away.
-SERVER: Sure?
-GERRY: I'm sure it's fine.
Ah.
-STELLA and SERVER: Thank you.
-GERRY: Thanks.
(Stella clears throat)
Moderation in all things.
-Especially moderation.
-Moderation.
Mm.
(Gerry grunts softly)
There's something
I'd like to talk to you about.
Gerry, I'm tired of living
the way we do.
-(scoffs)
-I keep...
I keep f-feeling at a loose end,
you know, at home.
What with Michael gone,
and-and it doesn't sound like
there's going to be
any more grandchildren.
What's my role?
What if we've cut the cloth
of our lives all wrong?
There's too...
great a sense of drift.
And I keep thinking... I...
I keep thinking, Gerry,
that I-I...
I want to do something better.
What do you mean, better?
Better in what way?
I want to live
a more devout life.
It's an unfashionable word
nowadays, I know.
Well, there's nothing wrong
with you, is there?
Not in any physical sense, no.
No, no, yes, but hang on
a minute, Stella.
-Just hang on. No, it...
-No, no, no, there's nothing
wrong with me.
Gerry, calm yourself. No.
(Stella sighs)
But I'd like to make
an appointment.
You know, the place we...
we visited this morning.
Just to speak to someone.
I mean, the talk was
that it's a good place
for women like me who want
to live a more religious life.
A-A community
of like-minded women
interested in-in exploring
the big questions.
And there's somebody in there
with all the answers, is there?
These are questions
that you have to answer
for yourself, Gerry.
(Gerry scoffs, chuckles)
We should order. I'm famished.
(faucet running)
(faucet stops)
(Gerry continues brushing teeth)
-(brushing stops)
-(faucet running)
(Gerry grunts softly)
-(Gerry grunts)
-(faucet stops)
Did you take your statins?
Yeah.
(both sighing)
(Gerry sighs, grunts)
(birds squawking)
(Gerry sighs softly)
(quiet chatter)
Thank you.
(Gerry clears throat)
Uh, are you, um...
...any...
easier in your mind
about yesterday?
See, I'm trying to remember
what was said.
Unlucky with the weather,
haven't we?
-Stella.
-Let's eat. We should eat.
(bells chiming)
(bicycle bell dings)
(Gerry grunts softly)
(bicycle bell dinging)
Oh, she's thought of everything.
(quiet chatter)
(espresso machine
steam wand hissing)
What is it, love?
Do you remember
Schindler's List?
At the end?
The pebbles on the gravestones,
the little tokens?
I noticed something similar
at the end, on the wee shelf.
I used to do that book
with so many classes in school.
And so I thought... (chuckling)
I thought,
"Why don't I leave something?"
Yeah, and what's wrong
with that?
Oh, it's stupid.
-Says who?
-I've no right.
Why? It's a perfectly
legitimate gesture.
No, it's shameful is what it is.
-I'm not even Jewish.
-Ah, come on, Stella.
Don't take things so seriously.
Gerry, if you can't take
the Holocaust seriously...
You know what I mean, right?
You felt something, right?
You took action.
-You did a thoughtful thing.
-No. No.
I did a selfish thing
to make myself feel better.
There's a difference.
Why is anything spiritual
so impossible for you to grasp?
Cake?
Cake?
(sighs)
(birds chirping)
(breathing deeply)
BARMAN AIDAN:
How you doing?
GERRY:
Pint of stout. Thanks.
And a...
("Sideways to the Sun"
by Horslips playing quietly)
...large whiskey, no ice.
(drink pouring)
(breathing deeply)
Are you, uh, from Derry?
-Donegal?
-Derry.
GERRY: Ah.
I studied there for a while.
-Magee College.
-Oh, yeah?
Yeah. A bit before
your time, obviously.
Don't tell me.
Accountant?
Architect.
Same again?
To play old airs
We said we could
be friends...
GERRY:
Graduated in the mid-'70s,
and then as luck would have it,
Liam McCormick took me on.
He was a big architect
in Belfast back then.
And then they burnt the entire
bloody place to the ground.
Petrol bomb.
No one was killed, thank God.
Aye, but all that work, though,
you know?
Years and years of hard work
up in smoke.
Ireland's fight
for fucking freedom.
It wasn't long after that
that we left.
To?
(sucks teeth) Glasgow.
Miss it much?
Work?
Home.
You know, um...
we used to have
these scale models.
There was, uh,
cars the size of Dinky Toys.
Trees as small as
those little cotton buds.
You know?
Tiny figurines.
Mini churches,
libraries, streets.
Windows were made
out of cellophane.
They were minuscule.
They were dis-architects,
those fellas.
The end of human decency,
in the name of religion.
I can still smell it.
The black char.
(drink pouring from tap)
Yes, they certainly leveled
my career, anyway.
Strictly third division
after that.
("The Old Rustic Bridge" by Big
Tom and the Mainliners playing)
-That was on a good day.
-Hmm.
Ah, would you look
at the dome on that.
(chuckles)
Norman Foster,
eat your heart out.
(chuckles)
Though now far away
Still my thoughts
fondly stray
To the old rustic bridge
by the mill...
Taste...
texture, temperature, perfect.
(chuckles softly)
Some people say
the black stuff transforms you,
you know, brings out
the worst in you.
Not me.
-I love people.
-(chuckles softly)
I've always loved people.
I'm a people person.
(both chuckling)
(lively chatter
and laughter outside)
Stella.
Do you know what
I'd like to do tonight?
What?
Something fun.
(lively chatter)
GERRY: The railwaymen would
leave their burning lanterns
outside the bordello doors.
Red lanterns.
-Red-light district.
-STELLA: Charming.
Oh.
I hesitate to say
what turns me on,
but this certainly isn't it.
I just feel so sorry for them.
Aye.
The lighting is awful.
(chuckles) I know.
That's UV lighting.
The same thing the butchers
used to use to kill the flies.
(both laughing)
I know.
("Uit M'n Bol" by Andr Hazes
playing)
(song continues
with singing in Dutch)
GERRY:
An ant could piss more.
Before you English had gin,
we had jenever.
I'm not English.
With a beer, it's very good.
(conversation continues
indistinctly)
Here we go.
-There.
-Oh.
What are we drinking?
-Jenever.
-What?
Jenever.
First you drink the beer,
then you drink the, uh...
-Jenever?
-Jenever.
-Ha.
-Cheers.
Cheers.
Ah.
-(sets glass down)
-(Stella exhales)
(laughing):
Holy Mary, Mother of God.
(both laughing)
Same again?
(Stella laughing)
What bliss to be away
from all that noise.
Aye.
(Stella laughing)
(bell tolling)
-(gasps) Gerry.
-Huh?
STELLA:
Look.
Come on.
(horse huffing softly)
(horse huffing softly)
Oh, you're beautiful.
(Stella chuckles)
-(bells chiming)
-(birds squawking)
(rustling in other room)
-(Gerry sighs)
-Morning.
What's that for?
Body.
Think it would do anything
for my body?
(Stella grunts softly)
What's the occasion?
Oh, thought I'd go back
to the Begijnhof again.
The vomiting miracle place?
Uh, d-do you want me
to go with you?
No, thank you. Mm.
STELLA:
Oh.
(clears throat)
Good morning.
I wonder if you could help me.
(Hennie speaking Dutch)
Oh.
Thank you. (clears throat)
(typing)
(quiet chatter)
(breathing deeply)
Excuse me.
Excuse me. Uh, uh,
I have a plane to catch.
-A flight.
-Please sit.
No, no. (stammers)
-Is there anyone else that I...
-Hello again.
-Oh, hello.
-(both chuckling)
-Um... Sorry, just...
-Oh, sorry. No, no, no.
(Kathy and Hennie
conversing in Dutch)
-Hi. Um...
-Hi.
I'm sorry.
Hennie is very busy right now.
But maybe I can help you
with something?
That would be lovely, yeah.
My house is just down there.
Right.
(sighs)
The gardens are
so beautifully kept.
KATHY (chuckling):
Yeah.
In the summer,
they're extraordinary.
Especially in the evenings,
with the night-scented stock.
Oh.
It's so quiet.
KATHY: It's a meter lower
than the outside world.
The noise goes over
its head somehow.
This is me here.
Oh.
(Stella chuckles)
(lock clicking)
(traffic light clicking rapidly)
Stairway to heaven.
The only disadvantage is
when you want a grand piano.
Maybe stick to the violin.
(Kathy chuckling)
Oh, it's lovely.
Minimalist.
Sit yourself down.
I'll make us some tea.
Thank you.
("Something in the Air"
by Thunderclap Newman playing)
Lock up the streets
and houses
Because there's
something in the air
We've got to get together
sooner or later
Because
the revolution's here
And you know it's right
And you know
that it's right...
KATHY: So, what can I do
for you, Stella?
STELLA:
Well, um...
Oh, do you need sugar?
-Uh, no, thank you.
-Oh.
I suppose I just wanted
to make an inquiry.
I was in Amsterdam
some 30-odd years ago.
KATHY:
Mm-hmm?
Teacher training conference.
Are you a teacher, Stella?
-I was.
-Me, too.
Oh. (laughs)
For years, I was an Irishwoman
living in Scotland
teaching English.
An Irishwoman in the Netherlands
teaching comparative religion
and maths.
(chuckling):
Oh. Right.
Well, that was when
I first heard about it.
You know, the setup here.
Ah...
But back then, uh,
there was no urgency.
What's the urgency now?
I want to live
a more valuable life, Kathy.
To make a contribution.
However small.
You know, so...
I suppose, really,
I just wanted to find out
about the life here, you know.
How someone like me
might go about applying
to become part of this.
This?
The order.
The sisterhood.
(sighs) Stella, I don't know
where you've been getting
your information from, but...
there's no religious order now.
Not anymore.
There hasn't been a sister
living here since 1971.
(stammers softly)
What is there?
Affordable living
for anyone who can afford it.
(stammers softly)
So the sisterhood is
a figment of my imagination?
No. The sisterhood is real.
But the religious aspect...
the religious aspect
has all but disappeared.
So I've got this all wrong.
It's possible still
for women to live here.
The only criteria is that
you must be prepared
to live by yourself.
Older than 30, younger than 65.
That rules me out, then.
Oh, no.
I don't believe it.
The other hitch
is that I'm married.
(sighs)
Though I'm not sure how much
marriage we've got left in us.
("Something in the Air"
continues)
Lock up the streets...
Can I ask you...
Are-are you...
A Catholic?
Right.
Do you still practice?
You know, prayer and so forth?
(chuckles softly)
Kathy, I... I want
to tell you something.
(chuckling): It-it's something
I've never really told anyone.
I was involved in an accident.
This was years ago.
It was our first summer together
as husband and wife.
I was pregnant.
I mean, very, very,
heavily pregnant.
It was unseasonably hot.
Uh, too hot for tights, anyway.
(chuckles)
Somebody was ambushing
somebody else.
I'm not sure how long
I'd been running for,
but all of a sudden,
running became falling,
and falling became...
not moving.
Sprawled.
At first,
I worried that I'd wet myself.
And then I-I thought, you know,
it-it must be my-my waters.
You know,
my waters must have broken.
-KATHY: Mm-hmm.
-(Stella sniffles)
But then, of course, I realized.
So I said a prayer.
As I lay there on the street
not-not-not knowing
one way or the other
what was going to happen.
(crying): I said the only
prayer I could remember.
As an act of contrition,
and I-I knew that wasn't right.
I knew that wasn't
what I wanted.
I mean, that's to save yourself.
I knew that,
and I wanted to save my baby.
So I said...
I said, "Lord...
"spare the child
inside my womb...
...and I will devote
the rest of my life to you."
"Lord, let my baby live,
"and I will devote
the rest of my life...
...to you."
Now...
...either it was a miracle
or, as Gerry would say,
the wee one must have ducked,
but the bullet passed
right through me,
in one side and out the other.
The only damage was that
I wouldn't be able to have
any more children.
But that vow...
that pledge...
Kathy, that bargain...
...there is a debt to be paid,
and I've been looking for a way
to pay it ever since.
I've never breathed
a word of this to-to anyone,
not even to Gerry.
(sobbing):
But here I am...
...at my age, and...
...and I've failed.
I'm a failure.
(shuddering breaths)
("The 7 Last Words of Jesus
Christ Sonata IV. Largo" plays)
(breath trembling softly)
(door opens)
-(vehicle engine idling)
-(vehicle door opens, closes)
(hotel door closing)
-(waves crashing)
-(birds squawking)
-(waves crashing)
-(birds squawking)
(camera shutter clicks)
(music ends)
You still haven't told me
how your meeting went.
No, I don't suppose I have.
WOMAN (over P.A.):
...are ready for you to proceed
to departure gate number 42.
(electronic chiming over P.A.)
MAN (over P.A.): If you see
any unattended luggage
or anything suspicious,
please contact
a member of staff immediately.
(announcement continues
in Dutch)
(rummaging)
(twists cap off bottle)
(twists cap on bottle)
(grunts softly)
You'll do yourself damage.
As if you would care.
-Pardon?
-You heard me.
Oh, Jesus, give me peace.
(electronic chiming over P.A.)
(indistinct announcement
over P.A.)
-Oh, for God's sake.
-Oh.
(quiet chatter)
Here.
(Gerry grunts)
(sighs)
Gerry, when we get home...
I'd like to put the flat up
for sale, and...
and then I want to get
a place of my own.
You'd be better off
waiting till summer.
More chance of getting
a better price.
Gerry, you're not
listening to me.
I can't go on
living the way we do.
I won't.
(takes deep breath)
I mean, the drinking.
If I mention it, I'm a nag.
If I don't, then I'm complicit.
Do you not think I don't see it?
Smell it?
Yes, I suppose you could go on
doing it behind my back
until you've no liver left.
(Gerry clears throat softly)
But it's not just the drinking.
It-it's the deception
that goes along with it.
It's ruining you.
Says you.
Well, it's ruining me,
that's for sure.
I wouldn't know about that.
You used to be so considerate.
What's happened to you?
These days, you're...
you're nothing but appetite.
Okay. Fine, then.
I'll stop, okay?
-Right? No, I will. I'll quit.
-(sighs)
-Oh, Gerry.
-No, look, I mean it.
(stammering): If you're serious
about this, then I am, too.
-I've heard it all before.
-(stammering): No, look.
I-I can do it, okay?
I... We can... I...
(sighs) I can change.
I mean, I gave up
the cigarettes, didn't I?
You think I don't know
how to change?
Huh?
You think I-I don't know
what this stuff is doing to me?
Sure, I hate myself as much
as you do when I'm drinking.
Well, then, why in God's name
do you put yourself through it?
Because I hate myself even more
when I'm not.
What about my faith?
(sighs) What about it?
-We believe in different things.
-So?
I mean, we've always known that.
But it's gotten
so much worse, Gerry.
I mean... the mockery.
No, I have never
mocked you, Stella.
Oh, well, if that's not mockery,
then I don't know what is.
It's-it's a debate, right?
We're... No, we're talking
about debating the...
the-the greatest deception
that we've known
-in our entire lives.
-No. No.
(voice shaking):
We are talking about...
-...respect.
-(scoffs)
Stella.
The joking
and the poking fun and...
the derision and scorn.
I mean, it-it...
It's like you-you have no idea
how much you hurt me and...
Or maybe you do and you just
don't care anymore.
I'm not sure which is worse.
Surely, Stella, then I have
to be allowed my truth.
The truth.
You're doing it again.
-You're dismissing me.
-(stammers)
(Gerry sighs)
(crying): All I want
is to feel close, you know?
It's too much.
(sniffles)
(quiet chatter)
(electronic chiming over P.A.)
WOMAN (over P.A.):
Attention, all passengers
for flight BM1463 to Glasgow...
-(announcement fades)
-(grunts softly)
It's still chucking it down.
Sweet, modom?
Stella.
Uh...
My being with you is
the most wonderful thing
there is.
I adore you.
And when I think of the future,
all I think about is you.
And I wish I had been there
with you in Belfast,
and I know that I'll never
be able to share
in what happened to you
that day.
But, um...
I-I-I won't ever...
be able to accept
your version of events,
and I'll tell you why.
Because...
passing through this world
beside you,
that's the real miracle.
The miracle is you.
(sighs softly)
Uh...
Look.
Is that a plane?
STELLA:
It's not moving.
I think it's the morning star.
Do you think
we'll ever get away?
(Stella chuckles softly)
We can only hope.
("This Time Tomorrow"
by The Kinks playing)
This time tomorrow
Where will we be?
On a spaceship somewhere
Sailing across an empty sea
This time tomorrow
What will we know?
Will we still be here
Watching an in-flight
movie show?
I'll leave the sun behind me
And I'll watch the clouds
As they sadly pass me by
Seven miles below me
I can see the world
And it ain't so big at all
Well, this time tomorrow
What will we see?
Fields full of houses
Endless rows
of crowded streets
I don't know where I'm going
I don't want to see
I feel the world below me
-Looking up
-Looking up, looking up
Looking up at me
Leave the sun behind me
And I'll watch the clouds
As they sadly pass me by
And I'm in perpetual motion
And the world below
Doesn't matter much to me
Well, this time tomorrow
Where will we be?
On a spaceship somewhere
Sailing across an empty sea
Well, this time tomorrow
This time tomorrow
Where will we be?
(song ends)
(music fades)