Miss Sixty (2014) Movie Script
It's true that deep inside...
we never grow older than 18.
For shes a jolly good fellow,
For shes a jolly good fellow,
And so say all of us.
- What's that?
- Your retirement party.
I'm not retiring, Bernhard.
You fired me.
I wanted to harmonise things.
"Marlies or me." Your words.
- This way you get your full pension.
- Bernhard! I was bluffing!
If I'd fired Marlies?
Would that be a bluff?
OK, I've learned my lesson.
But get rid of the kids party?
I've lost enough work time already.
Bernhard, this
workplace squabble...
- You broke her left thumb.
- She touched my centrifuge!
Luise, youre a great
biologist, but in 40 years
youve not made one friend here.
- Is this Facebook?
- Im worried about you, Luise.
Youre socially inept,
youre angry.
- Sarah...
- Your wife? Whats she got to do with it?
See? Thats the problem
your staff have.
- You cant even listen.
- Yes I can. - Without interrupting?
Sarah studied psychology before
she quit to have my children.
I have a strong connection to
my feminine side,
but Sarah says I missed the signs:
its clear you have penis envy.
Many working women of
your age have this anger.
A feeling of social injustice.
The fact men can have everything:
family and career.
While women must make sacrifices.
Now, Sarah rightly states, youre
nearing the end of your life,
and perhaps youre looking back.
Anger management.
Sarah says its never too late
to heal old wounds.
- May I speak now?
- Yes.
Penis envy!
Where did Sarah study?
Late 19th Century Vienna?
The only thing men have
and I dont is
prostate cancer.
That much? Come on, Christian,
Im not paying that much.
Youre restoring a print,
not Rembrandt himself.
Yes, I know Im funny. If my jokes
were as laughable
as your prices, Id close
the gallery and tour.
OK, I can live with that.
Good, Ill send it over tomorrow.
When is Kramer coming
to frame the pictures?
I want to ensure
the Bosch collection
coincides with the retrospective.
11.30. Ive postponed your lunch.
I hope that wasnt wrong.
Wrong...
is a very flexible word.
Wait.
Isnt that awesome?
A guy at Uni posted it.
Listen to how it rocks!
I can forward it if you like?
Its perfect for here.
It lends a little atmosphere.
It's...
How longs the artist been dead?
Maybe fifteen years?
Youre more art dealer
than gallery owner, right?
More buy and sell.
Youre not
really part of the scene.
Oh, Im talking too much, right?
Maybe its better to pick up again
at my place later.
Now youll always think of us
when you hear this music.
And how you fuck me here.
Hi, Mum. Im still in the office.
Yes, they threw a small
party for me...
and now Ive got to clear up.
Yes, Ill tell you everything when I...
Milk and salt.
No, I wont forget.
See you soon. Bye, Mum.
Hello! Stop!
What happened?
- Were you mugged?
- No, no. Jogging.
I cant move. Can you help me?
- Cant you call someone?
- Theres no reception.
I have to go shopping.
- The shop at the station.
- Know what milk costs there?
Will you help me?
- Can you walk?
- What does it look like?
No need to be rude.
My car's over there.
If you can make it, Ill drive
you to the hospital.
I guess its lumbago.
My mother always gets it.
- It could be worse. The doctor...
- Yes, yes. Whatever.
Youre not talking anymore.
Did you write this?
You cant be serious. I was rude,
OK? It was unnecessary.
I lay in the bushes 40 minutes.
You were the fourth to pass.
The other three wore headphones.
OK. What will the doctor give me?
An injection. To relax the muscles.
- That helps my mother.
- Your mothers still alive?
- Yes, why?
- Ah, nothing.
- I mean, thats unusual.
- What?
At your age?
Your mothers still alive?
- Fill this out for your husband.
- Shes not my wife!
- Youre not married?
- Id rather stab myself with a knife.
She doesnt even know me.
He was lying in the bushes.
I shouldve left him to rot.
You should have seen how
she smiled at me.
She stuck to me
like a 70s polyester suit.
How quick can you fix this?
Ive got an appointment.
Mum? Doris?
Its already started!
Ah, birthday girl.
You remembered the milk and salt.
I thought youd forget.
How was your last day?
Was it a fun party?
Get anything?
Youve not brought anything.
No bag. No presents?
Did you drink anything?
You smell a bit of smoke.
The key belongs here.
So, nothing at all.
Hurry up! Come on!
Hello, Mum!
St. Augustin
The little albino sea
bear from Dortmund Zoo...
Eared seals. Eared seals!
Nose breathers...
- Three toed fins.
- That's the right answer.
Who comes up with this stuff?
Did you make a wish?
A quick death.
I got the cruise catalogues
I told you about.
If we book today we get 30% off
and an all-you-can-eat voucher
for the pool buffet.
Youre perfect.
Youre sweet.
This is the Breakfast Show
on 95.8 at 8.51am.
What do you get when you lock a lioness
in a cage with a male tiger?
What kept you?
I had to piss in the sink.
I moved the dishes.
Here. Read it. Its the migration
policy article I worked on.
The interview with Hamze Btyci
really paid off.
Dad?
- Dad?
- Yes, sure, Im really curious.
What is it?
Romy.
Max.
- Is that organic?
- Of course. - Its not.
Romys studying Art History
and works at the gallery.
- What have you done with your hair?
- Nothing.
I like it.
Im going for a quick shower,
if thats OK?
Stale smoke, sex...
its a killer mix.
Isnt she fantastic?
- Shes 12.
- Come on. Dont be so uptight.
Ive never felt so alive.
Stop it!
What? Its reassuring.
You always look so happy
when youre asleep.
Get dressed. We have a busy day.
Were going to have so much fun!
I heard that.
Holidays, weekends,
Christmas, overtime.
This job has stolen
almost 40 years.
Now we can make up
for lost time together.
Shoulders straight!
Thats right!
And up!
Do that again and Ill break your
crippled fingers like firewood.
- Hello?
- Luise?
Marlies here. You left a few
things behind...
Marlies, put them aside. Ill pick
them up next time Im near.
Ill be there in five minutes!
Ah, our part-time psychologist.
How pathetic!
Luise!
- Anything interesting?
- Research papers.
I didn't expect you so soon.
I still had a few things here.
I was thinking...
If the budget cuts have led to...
I mean... I could... well...
Even without...
Just a couple of days a week?
Thanks for the offer.
Everythings fine.
I hope theres no
bad feelings between us.
No more than usual.
Thats the Luise I love!
- Luise!
- Marlies.
Satisfied? Ive removed
every trace of my useless stuff.
Not everything.
I was revising a few
of your research projects
and found yet more
useless stuff of yours.
Throw away or donate?
I contacted the women
you tested.
- Most want to donate.
- Donate? Theyre still healthy.
20 years at the same temperature.
- Theyre as fresh as new.
- Whats your problem with me?
I know you started
this coup to oust me.
The others already hated you.
I just printed the form.
They couldnt even choose
someone qualified for this job.
Thats all theyve done 20 years:
print out forms.
You really think youre special.
I may not be so qualified, but
at least Im not alone.
Yes, I have a husband.
One who loves me.
Youll grow old alone.
Still here?
Any problems?
Marlies drank Formaldehyde again.
- What's that?
- Luise's eggs.
Unfertilised.
And as ice cold as she is.
Thats funny! For a moment I thought...
Marlies, Keep them cool!
Are you crazy?
You've no idea what it means
to care for someone else.
- Day and night.
- Know what I thought on the bog?
None of it really
interested you.
But it's true!
Were the establishment!
Weve become what
we rebelled against at 20, 30.
No idea about me,
but youve become a hairdresser!
- Ill bring an ashtray.
- I have more hair. So?
Be serious. I mean real changes.
Something existential.
You think it changes anything,
if you find
- a new Damien Hirst pant-pooper?
- What do I know?
Its just...
You know...
I feel like Ive woken up
after 20 years of sleepwalking.
All that energy.
The feeling anything was possible.
Its all about pussy, right?
Theres nothing new any more.
Its all been done a million times.
Art is nothing but a pile
of self-serving, overrated shit,
used by the "elite" to decorate
the white walls
of their miserable existence.
That's all.
Im always amazed how much
you love your own voice.
Dont you know why we rebelled?
You mean the two idiots who thought
they could change the world?
Better than two old farts
waiting to die.
I want to be surprised again.
Give someone young
and fresh a chance.
I want to believe in something.
Theres a guy called Jon Schmidt.
- Has he already exhibited?
- No.
But I still think
its just about pussy
Max. Good article.
I hope youve got a sequel.
- Yes. Almost ready.
- Yes? Great!
Maybe use more facts.
As always, more research.
Your style is good.
Its different.
Honest.
People like it. I do.
Cool. Thanks.
Boss, I have an idea.
We could appeal to
more older people online.
- Yes?
- Right. And...?
Were losing potential
ad revenue.
If print declines further,
well have people on board.
Thats hardly new.
What else?
Meet with the older readers...
Ask them which subjects
weve so far failed to address.
- Find a new approach.
- Yes, exactly.
Prepare something. If it's
good, I'll show the ad team.
- Cool.
- Hello.
And? Why do you look
so pleased with yourself?
Ive found a reason to date my Dad.
How do I take
the batteries out?
You cant. Thats the point.
Only I can programme it.
To avoid teenage pregnancies,
young girls must comprehend
the conditions full extent.
Chronic sleep loss.
Total loss of freedom and identity.
Their life will never be the same.
Tell your daughter
to be gentle with the baby.
Its not had it easy until now.
Are you home?
Everyone was asking after you.
I said Ive not seen you for days.
I said I saw you more
while you were still working.
At least ring the bell.
The keys only for emergencies.
I couldve guessed. The internet.
What junk are you wasting
your hard earned cash on now?
Sperm.
Sit down, Mum.
I have something to say.
- Are you taking drugs?
- No, Mum.
Its not easy to say,
so Ill just say it.
Youre going to be a grandmother.
I knew it! That first year
after Ipswich Uni?
Is it a boy or a girl?
How old?
My God, it must be 30 already!
I could be a great grandmother!
Does it even know I exist?
Was it adopted?
My God, is it coming here?
The mess here!
You have to help!
Mom! Youre not a granny yet.
Sperm.
We never talked about it, but
I always thought
as a molecular biologist
you knew all about these things.
With or without sperm,
the timespan for a woman
to get pregnant...
Mum, you don't believe
I need sex education
at the age of sixty.
Listen. Listen to me carefully?
Ill only explain this once.
And when Im done,
Ill answer all your questions.
Then well never mention it again.
Is that clear?
Im not stupid.
When I was 40, I had the chance
to freeze my eggs for research.
Now I find out they still exist.
Deep frozen. As fresh as new.
- But arent you...
- Im too old?
Four years ago,
a British psychologist
aged 63 had a healthy
boy called James.
With donors eggs and
her second husbands sperm.
I have the eggs. I just need sperm.
- That sounds very romantic.
- My dear mother,
the oldest mother
is a 74 year old Indian
who bore her own grandchild,
because her daughter-in-law
was infertile.
- I need a drink.
- Yes.
Every second Hollywood actress
has twins at the age of 55.
Im just five years older.
The sperm bank
the institute works with
checks each donors
last three generations.
I have the code.
I pick one, pay,
and then the sperm
is on its way by courier.
- By courier? Where to?
- To Munich.
I was tested there last Monday.
I have a 38 year
olds constitution.
Im on hormone treatment
for my hormonal balance.
- Is he a good doctor?
- The best in his field.
We met a few years ago at
a conference in Buenos Aires.
- A very nice man.
- Why didnt you marry?
Mum! Your only daughter is planning
your only grandchild!
- And what about our cruise?
- We can still do that.
- What will people think?
- I couldnt care less.
It sounds a lot
like a new research project.
Mum, I know how excited you were
about my retirement.
But well definitely spend
more time together.
Should I look for sperm too?
Most people play Scrabble.
Thanks for coming. Im
sure the gallerys busy.
- So whats this about?
- Work.
- A new format for older people...
- Older people?
You know what I mean.
Ageing hippies, retired radicals.
Whos talking about retirement?
Frans...
This isnt just about you.
Its about your generation.
Born after the war.
Their bad relationships
with parents.
Your mother
romanticised families.
She tried to sit us round a table
to talk through our problems.
Shes a therapist.
What did you expect?
Good point.
Did she tell you about the house
on the Swedish island?
- No.
- She rented it
and invited my parents
as a surprise.
I lay awake at nights
fantasising about ways
to batter my father
with a dried fish.
- Why are you laughing?
- Hey!
At last! What took you so long?
We missed you so much!
Do you always wear suits?
You prefer hoodies
and baggy jeans?
The mans 60!
Don't act like Ive turned
off my hearing aid.
- You have a hearing aid?
- No!
Youre absolutely right:
expensive suits, Cashmere socks.
- When did I grow up?
- Thirty years ago.
We can all count, Max. Im 60. So?
Must I wear a pensioners
uniform the rest of my life
- so I dont embarrass my son?
- Yes.
See you at home.
Maybe I should sleep
at home tonight.
Ah, let him be. Forget it.
Hell survive. Really.
He just needs a little time.
So whos winning the election now?
I never knew choosing sperm
was so tiring.
Astronaut. Astrophysicist.
Composer. Ballet dancer.
Washing machine repairman?
Well, ours is always broken, so...
Brain surgeon.
What? Were nearly finished.
Oh, I dont know.
Maybe you're right.
I mean, by my critieria
its logical
to look for the best for the baby.
- But?
- But whoever the father is,
- Im still the mother.
- And?
And maybe thats too one-sided.
We should look for genes so
the kid can just be
as normal as possible.
A kid should have friends,
not spend his days in a lab.
Yes, I know. Just like me.
Another reason
to choose someone
completely average.
Youre perfect.
But you were never normal.
This one.
Shit.
- Everything OK?
- Yes, go back to bed.
Should I call a doctor?
It's from Romy.
I cant find my glasses.
Its 4am!
Go back to bed! Please!
Your back? Ill fetch the tablets.
- Thats private!
- Want to know what she wrote?
Yes. And?
Oh, no.
- And? Whats she saying? Tell me.
- Its over.
Youre reading too much
into things and...
And what?
Shed rather keep her job,
if that' s OK...
Go back to bed, OK?
- Are those my boots?
- Is that a problem?
Were the same size.
Please dont say
youre doing it for Romy.
You never liked her.
- So its my fault?
- You certainly werent very helpful.
I think thats...
Yes. Thats him.
- What should I do?
- No idea.
Walk behind him and
see if hes nice.
That cant be true!
What the hells that on his head?
What?
Luise?
- This is a bad joke, right?
- What?
A million people in this city,
- and of all of them I had to...
- Luise?
Luise. Whats going on?
Luise?
Disconnected.
Frans! Frans!
ACCIDENT & EMERGENCY
Got anything
to remove blood?
Theres a new market.
A Casualty Department cleaners.
- But I thought...
- Were not!
He nearly ran me over.
Shes stalking me! She got
my address from the form.
Right. Dream on.
The last time anyone
dreamed of you,
he wasnt born.
The time that inspired
this Miami Vice outfit?
- Classic midlife crisis.
- Midlife?
How olds he going to be? 150?
My goodness, your hand!
Dont worry. Lots of people cant
look at blood.
- Hell be normal in a moment.
- Normal? I doubt it.
Hard to believe youre his son.
Hes OK if you get to know him.
What about dinner
as an apology for this trouble?
Are you trying to set me up?
OK, not his finest hour, but...
- He has qualities.
- Nothing personal.
Hes just not my type.
Take a seat, please?
The insurance form needs filling.
Not her type.
Sorry Im late.
- This is...?
- Jon.
Great. Lovely youre here.
Professor Dnker told me
all about your work.
So, Jon.
I assume youve brought
us a sample of your work?
No.
Then how will we know...
You wont.
- My works conceptual.
- And the concept is...?
you dont know the concept.
Is everything OK?
The text message, I mean.
It's not going to be
an issue, is it?
Of course. Everythings fine.
Anything else?
Ive got some papers.
Not her type.
I dont believe it...
Would little Willys mother please
collect him from the Information Desk?
What?
Never seen a pregnant woman?
And?
Oh. Its you.
I barely recognised you.
You look different somehow.
You're lopsided.
I dont want to talk about it.
- You're stalking me.
- You forgot this.
Now you crouch by
nursing bras
waiting for the right moment
to remind me.
What do you mean,
Im not your type?
- Which word dont you understand?
- Not.
OK, good. Where shall I start?
Youre rude, have no dress sense,
I find you physically unattractive
and you ran me over in your car.
- Im not attractive?
- No, not to me.
Then name someone
you do find attractive.
- Im listening.
- Steve McQueen.
Hes dead!
So you think 'The Deer Hunter'
is a racist film?
I didnt say racist. I said
its ridiculous
to portray Americans as
victims of the Vietnam War.
- What about their camps?
- But thats not what its about!
Its not a statement about war!
Its about friendship, home,
the uprooting of the familiar.
- I disagree.
- Im right and youre not.
- Have you decided?
- I have.
Youre the most arrogant
arsehole Ive ever met.
- And to eat?
- Penne Arrabiata and a green salad.
So whats this all about?
- I was never pregnant. I wanted to try it.
- And?
Your son must make you proud.
Hes very decent.
- Thats rare for someone of his age.
- Hes OK.
- Wasnt so good at school...
- He had top grades...
We talked about it in the hospital.
Middle of the day
and youre not working.
I thought you were
a super-scientist.
- A retired super-scientist.
- Arent you young for a pensioner?
But too old to have a mother?
Youre too old for sex,
but a few more years in a lab?
Youre so charming.
You bring out my best.
I was fired, but they called it
early retirement.
Sixty?
Yes. God.
It sounds so grown up.
How do you want to die?
In my sleep. Like my granddad,
not awake, screaming
like the others in his car.
Youre not so bad when you laugh.
And youre likeable
when youre funny.
It was an old joke.
Luckily you didnt know it.
Honestly, recently, I feel like
an old joke myself.
When I was young,
Id look at a room
and I was perhaps
the best looking there.
As years pass
it happens less and less.
Then one day it stops entirely.
You never think about it again.
I just wanted to be
the most intelligent.
Youre a peculiar woman, Luise.
Thank you.
Just to be sure:
this wasnt a date, right?
- Because Im in love with someone.
- Someone other than yourself?
- Hard to fathom, eh?
- Does he love you?
Very funny. Its a She.
- But weve split up. Its oddly very exciting.
- How?
Men must hunt.
Did you really say that?
- Law of the jungle.
- Did we just return to the 50s?
I didnt demonstrate
for womens rights
to play childish
gender games.
The demos were childish,
not the games.
We were kids!
I was in the Communist party!
Look at me now!
- You compare communism to feminism?
- No, being old to being young.
OK.
And you think
she loves you too?
Before we continue this personal
chat, can we start again?
Frans.
My God. Its no marriage proposal.
- Luise.
- OK. So...
Shes called Romy.
I've got to pee to take
the pressure off the story.
If the waiter comes, order wine.
Yes.
Another bottle of wine, please.
- So youre not pregnant?
- If I was?
Come on.
Tell the truth.
Ive had weird looks all day,
- but I can take it.
- Seriously?
- Why not?
- Ill get the wine.
No, no. Spit it out.
Its not about how people see you.
Its about
how the child feels.
At school, when kids say,
Heres your gran.
The kid has to say,
Thats not Gran, thats Mum.
Theyll die laughing.
And if hes a boy,
he must defend you.
Shut your mouth and bring wine.
So. Her name is Romy,
and she has skin like...
like Carrara marble...
like alabaster.
Youre always wondering..
did Michelangelo
make you or are you real?
Like a Madonna, so carnal, so sensual...
so young...
Hey, Luise.
Great to see you.
- Is he here?
- Yes... Denis!
I wasnt sure
I understood you on the phone.
Why exactly do you want
to borrow my grandchild?
Its part of my anger
therapy.
I took your wifes advice.
Im so proud of you.
Just hand him over, Bernhard.
Hello, Denis. Im Luise.
Right...
His mother said no fast food,
and no petting strange animals.
So you know Im not really angry.
A St. Christopher, to protect you.
Wherever life leads you.
No more toilet paper.
Jon, I didnt see
you there.
I'm here.
Thank you. Youre an angel.
- Is there progress?
- Does art require progress?
Ill be right back.
No sugar... for me.
Why stick a piece of Medieval
metal through your tongue?
Massaging the clitoris with it
leads to multiple orgasms.
Ecstasy.
Apparently
better than drugs.
- Apparently?
- Apparently.
If you ever change your mind
about us, I would...
It would never have worked.
Romy. I want to be fair.
Theres a molecular biologist,
and shes mad about me.
Thank God! I was worried about
hurting you if...
you saw me with Dirk.
I didnt know old people
like candyfloss too.
And how old am I?
Our teacher asked us once.
Marvin said 56. But she was 32.
Then she started to cry,
and ran out of the room.
Then she was off sick for a week.
What normally happens
at weekends?
After brushing my teeth,
I go down for breakfast.
Then Im quiet and pretend not
to watch TV...
'til Mum and Dad get up.
And during the week?
- Who takes you to school?
- Magda.
- Thats your Mums name?
- Its our au-pairs.
- Who meets you at school?
- Magda.
- Dinner? - Magda. Bedtime?
- Magda.
You must really like Magda.
Shes OK. When shes not drunk.
Come, baby, come.
Come here, come.
I don't know how this works!
Come here, you.
Luise? We need to speak
urgently.
Yes... Yes... So where are you?
Luise! Do you know how long
it took to find this playground?
Where are we anyway?
Its a while since I read
the feminist manifesto, but...
- arent such clothes forbidden?
- Its an experiment.
- Whats up? Cant your problem wait?
- No. She has a Dirk.
A shitty masseur, physio, whatever.
20, probably. A sixpack,
all his own hair.
20? Whyd a grown up woman
want a 20 year old?
- Yeah, Romys 26.
- Whos Romy?
Tell me, do you hear anything
anyone says to you?
Romy...
- Romys the woman I love.
- Shes 26?
- This friendship of ours wont work.
- 26? So?
- When I told her about us...
- Us?
I may have exaggerated
our relationship.
- To make her jealous.
- Of a 60 year old?
I only mentioned the biology stuff.
- And now?
- And now?
So whats our plan?
I need your help!
Excuse me.
Your son's on the slide
and wont let the other kids past.
You cant leave me standing here!
My hearts torn
into a thousand pieces.
Get a massage from Dirk or something.
- Quickly!
- Brilliant!
Hes really spoiling
the kids fun.
Yes, I need a phone number.
Whats she doing now?
Wait, my little angel, Im coming.
Dont ask.
Did you at least
have a lovely day?
The loveliest
day of my life.
Except when Luise danced naked
on the table at McDonalds.
That was a joke, Bernhard.
Thank you for a wonderful day.
Luise?
I spoke to Marlies.
Dont do it. Dont be a fool.
Entirely between us.
And entirely honestly.
If I were a man,
would you say that?
With that worried look, and
that disgust in your voice?
- Erm, no...
- Thank you.
I never want
to discuss this topic again.
And now the other side...
You stupid idiot.
Dad, you were late last night.
Romy... Are you back together?
Good. She wasnt right for you.
I know I wasnt supportive, but...
You were like a teenager.
It freaked me out.
And Dirk? How was he?
Tell me. You've dragged me into
your sordid schemes
and now I'm as addicted as a
Mexican maid to a TV show.
So...
- Whats the latest twist?
- I was drunk.
In which city d
id Lena Meier-Landruth defend
her Eurovision Song Contest title
in 2011?
Was it Detmold, Dortmund or Dsseldorf?
It was Dsseldorf.
Hed already said it.
How were songwriters Degenhard
and Kardinal related...?
Cousins.
Were they father and son,
siblings or cousins?
Ill go with siblings.
Which animals...?
Do you have painkillers?
Koi carp! Koi carp!
Isnt it too early for TV?
I bet you think Im an old fool.
- What was that?
- Age spot.
- Hes annoying me.
- Behave yourself, Mum.
Small one for pain.
Big ones antibiotics.
- Any allergies?
- Thank you.
Bell.
Youve not even heard
the question.
By the way, I dont think
youre an old fool.
You were drunk and in love.
Both provoke stupidity.
Steve McQueen?
Shut up and drink your wine.
Can you read my mind?
We were together a couple of years,
then he went back to his wife.
It didnt really bother me.
My job was always my first love.
Ive always lived
in the present.
Ive never looked back before
and questioned my decisions.
Oddly, it helps to know that
his marriage is a success.
Must it always be so complex?
Or is it just our generation thats
paralysed by these endless choices?
It was always this complex.
And you?
No grand, true love so far?
I never thought Id be living
alone at 60,
with my mother
just one floor below.
It could be worse.
- How?
- You could have cats.
I think she still loves me.
- Romy.
- I doubt she ever loved you.
- What?
- Come on.
Young women dont
love old men
- with weak bladders and saggy skin.
- Let it out!
It was just infatuation.
She felt flattered
that this wise,
experienced man of the world
was interested in her.
And she wont even love Dirk.
Itll be a younger man.
Youve no idea
how women tick.
Dating Steve McQueen doesn't mean
you can judge normal women.
- Normal?
- Normal.
And if Romy told me
she never loved you?
She wont.
Its not true.
So its OK to ask her?
Please. Go right ahead.
There. Thats her.
- You still want me to ask her?
- Go ahead.
And dont look so smug.
You don't have all the answers.
I do. Everything! Ask!
Theres nothing I cant answer.
- Wheres my baby doll?
- Exactly.
Mrs Jansen, the alarms
been flashing for a week now,
and you cant be found.
Tell your daughter,
wherever she is,
probably having unsafe sex,
that I want my baby back. Now!
Ill meet you at the car.
So I said, delete me. Like I care.
Then shed have less friends,
and people would worry
about Toms status
if shes got 300 friends.
I mean, whatever.
Toms an arsehole.
He might as well be blind.
- Although...
- Excuse me.
- Do you love Frans Winter?
- What?
Sorry. I couldve
asked more subtly,
but this blabbering numbs my brain.
- Do you love Frans?
- Did he send you?
No. Im a friend of his.
Look, he loves you,
and thinks you still love him too.
- And you want to help him?
- No. I want to correct him.
Look at you. Why
the grandfather fixation?
Youre a weird friend.
Please dont misunderstand me.
You should be happy he likes you.
But to be honest:
if you were
20 kilos heavier,
we wouldnt be talking.
If you were 20 years younger,
we wouldnt be either.
The molecular biologist.
Youre right. I never loved him.
Its a phase.
I love fucking old men.
I get a kick out of it.
You were right.
Yes! I knew it!
What did she say?
Shes still with Dirk,
and needs time.
And...
Oh, God! I feel so good!
I could uproot a tree,
I could kill a bear!
I could...
Well, I can help you with that.
What the hell is his problem?
Ignore him.
Hes marking his territory.
- Steve McQueen...?
- Hes over 90. He barely has teeth.
- Im not called Romy...
- The taunts of a jealous heart.
Yes, Im jealous.
You simply cant bear the fact
Ive found love and you havent.
Consider this affair again:
Romys still with Dirk.
But says she loves me.
I was too hot to handle.
Shes coming back!
See you!
Ah, Im back again.
There she is! Romy!
Come on, come on...
- You dont really believe that.
- Well, yes.
Lets say theres life after death.
- What comes then?
- Paradise, nirvana, whatever.
- Thats nonsense.
- Why?
Next youll say reincarnation exists.
- And if I did?
- You see a future in it?
Yes.
Remind me how she defined
your relationship?
Fuck buddies.
That would develop.
You said you couldnt
talk over dinner.
So? Men and women are different.
We dont fear boredom.
Hence old boy networks.
And The Sports Show.
Dont be so uptight!
Thats art!
That's an art form.
Primitive graffiti goes back
30,000 years before Christ.
The only Safaitic traditions,
an ancient Arabic tongue,
- are graffiti.
- Im not senile.
I know graffiti can be art.
But not all graffiti.
And definitely not:
'How can I say I love you if
you are sitting on my face.'
Thats a projection screen.
Free for interpretations.
But its ill... illegal.
Illegal, illegal, illegal!
And freedom of expression
and equality too...?
- Exactly. They work so well...
- What?
Whats up?
Do you know them?
Luise?
This is stupid.
Hey! Hey!
Wait a moment!
Whats she up to now?
Thats one crazy chick.
That is art.
You always have
food in your beard!
Steve McQueen?
Steve McQueen?
Is that Steve McQueen?
He was younger when we met.
That doesnt matter.
He was never Steve McQueen.
OK, he wasnt. Now please be quiet!
Maybe Steve McQueen today.
Mrs Jansen?
The gentleman kindly declined
to press charges.
Against my advice, Id add.
That, Mrs Jansen,
was a criminal act.
Thank you.
I didnt think you were capable of
such a primitive act, Luise.
I never thought you were
fucking Marlies.
- Were just... friends.
- Tell that to your wife.
Well, then.
Thank you for another day
of unforgettable adventures.
You must think Im ridiculous.
Unfortunately not.
Is something wrong?
I never... I just never thought
Id do that here again.
A bed. Sex in a bed.
These trips are increasingly popular.
The Icelandic horse,
also called the Icelandic pony,
Is a versatile and robust breed.
Thanks to its strong physique
these animals can...
I like this. If only...
Theyre gaited horses...
because most of them have not only
the basic gaits...
walk, trot and canter...
You keep surprising me.
- How long have you smoked?
- Since I was 15.
But dont tell my Mum.
The Icelandic horse
is quiet and reliable...
and therefore
also suitable for beginners.
Reykjavik, the countrys oldest city...
Inglfur Arnarson...
- Ive never been to Reykjavik.
- Youd love it.
Maybe you could show me one day.
I mean...
You know what I mean.
and vowed to settle wherever
the sea washed them ashore.
A few years later
his slaves found the pillars...
I want a baby.
- Youre so funny.
- No. Really.
I know the timings off.
Several years ago,
I had my eggs frozen.
Now I'm set: I want a child.
My own child. And...
its feasible.
With all due respect,
feasibly we can transplant
a human head onto an ape,
but no one does that.
And all the men our age
who still have babies?
Charlie Chaplin was a father at 80.
His wife probably 25.
You think its OK
for older men to have kids,
but not older women?
- Should I be honest?
- Yes.
Yes, thats what I think.
Its unnatural.
But possible.
I was taught to ask not only why,
but to examine why not.
Since mans been on this earth
hes aimed for the stars.
Elongated fertility
would change loads,
for people, for society.
But...
it certainly wont be
the last change,
or the biggest.
Im no feminist or crazy scientist.
I just want
to hold my own baby in my arms.
Come on, Luise.
Look at us.
Our lives are ending.
It should be cosy, not stressful.
I can imagine anything with Romy.
Not that I see no future with you,
but it would be different.
We can travel...
Ive seen Reykjavik.
Ive never seen my own child.
Come on. Luise, this is too crazy.
Yeah. Yeah.
This was a mistake.
Id like you to go.
- How is she?
- She wants a baby.
With all the bells and whistles.
- But isnt she...
- Yes, too old.
She has eggs.
- Deep frozen eggs.
- Then thats OK.
Is she serious?
She says its possible,
and she must know.
Shes a prizewinning biologist.
- You like her!
- Shes... wonderful.
- So whats the problem?
- Are you crazy? Shes 60!
So? 60 year old men
regularly have kids.
Tell me, do you women meet
secretly to prepare these phrases?
- Shes right, Frans.
- Not you too!
Is Romy more qualified?
I just saw
her at the club.
Just because shes younger!
This isnt the Stone Age!
- Its not natural.
- Yes.
Like heart transplants,
Viagra and X-Rays.
But they call those progress.
- Is she still there?
- Luise?
Yes, prob... No! He means Romy.
Frans. Frans, forget it!
Ciao!
I have my first story
for the new setup.
What?
I think hell want
to read this one.
Max? Hey, Max!
Max!
Max?
Max?
Comma...
Comma...
Luise Jansen.
Blood test, hormone test.
Ah, yes. Please take a seat.
Mrs Bruckmaier?
Mr Bruckmaier?
Your wife said
you might like to see it.
I like your new style. Racy!
- Racy?
- Perky.
Perky. Thanks.
Its a lovely
room for the baby.
- Have you talked to the workers?
- Yes.
So where will you
drill through?
- From my bedroom down to here.
- Aha.
Ah, look!
I remember us buying that.
- In Scotland.
- So cold. Rained every day.
- But a lovely time.
- Why did you keep all this?
All these years?
Theres a phrase:
magical thinking.
When your father comes back,
hell finally need his shoes.
But you know hes dead.
I mean, hes not keeping a low profile
on business in Acapulco.
- You still want to keep them?
- Maybe.
Oh, look here!
I totally forgot! Look at us!
Youre 17 there!
43 years younger than me!
It would all be easier
if Id been born a boy.
Look at Dad. He had
his research and a kid.
- Because you were always there.
- Thats how we did it.
- But I cant.
- But youre at home anyway.
That's not what I mean.
But you were so sure.
Whats changed?
What do you know now
you didnt yesterday?
Im too old to love someone new.
Jon said if anyone would
understand you would.
Inside the white cube,
Ryan O'Doherty,
the sanctity of a church,
the integrity of a courtroom,
the mystery of a research lab.
All combine to create
a unique space of aesthetics.
My phone is on if
theres something important.
Hes torn down an entire wall!
And? Do you know
what hes trying to say?
Im not senile! I just thought,
'Why my gallery!'
Whats your problem?
True artists never restrict
themselves to whats expected.
Were you ever attracted to
a woman who was deranged?
Attracted to one? I married two!
Yeah... No!
Miss Sixty: Decorated Biologist
To Be Mother at 60
- Excuse me?
- No.
Shit, shit, shit!
- Max!
- Miss Sixty?
Relax. Most people
want to get the front page.
So would I with another story!
Man! Frans will kill me.
Miss Sixty? Whats this shit
got to do with it?
Max, its a good article.
We added some stuff
so people read it.
Of course I wrote it...
This Miss Sixty shit wasnt my idea.
Her story touched me.
Leave her in peace.
Shes got nothing to say.
Parasites!
Hey! Whats going on?
Are you crazy up there?
Parasites!
Ill get you!
Get away from the window. Mum!
What are you doing?
Take this.
Quick! Quick!
Look at their faces.
Like little scaredy-cats.
Take care of your own crap!
You blowflies!
Havent had so much fun in ages!
Itd all be normal
if I say Im not doing it.
Ah, screw normal! Im proud to say
nothing about you is normal.
Who cares what you decide?
Whether you have a baby or not?
Let them believe you will!
- Youre a fighter, Doris Jansen.
- Youve inherited that too.
- Are we insured?
- Yes!
Watch out! Theres more coming!
Mrs Bittel said we could
use her rear entrance.
My cars there.
Maybe well take a little trip.
Get away from this circus.
Fancy that? You can choose where.
So what do you think? Doris?
Mum? Mum?
No! Mum, please.
Dont go! Mum! Mum!
An ambulance, please.
My mother...
shes stopped breathing.
- How did you get in?
- Mrs Bittel.
I tried with pralines,
but she prefers cigars.
I can well imagine
what youre going through.
Im really sorry.
Doris was an amazing woman.
- Why are you here?
- I dont know.
I thought maybe
you might need a friend.
Yes. Id rather not be here.
If its OK,
- Ill get changed.
- Of course.
- Frans, I wanted...
- My sons sperm?
Now youre going to say,
Its not how it looks.
Does he know?
I always thought
you were stalking me.
But it was always about Max.
All those questions about
childhood, hobbies, friends...
- I wanted to tell you. Honest.
- Really? When?
Before you gave birth
to my grandchild? Or after?
- He wouldnt be your first.
- What?
His sperm is,
so to speak, a best seller.
That's too much.
Frans! Dont go!
Let me explain. Please!
Do you know how old he is?
You should be ashamed!
Says the pensioner
with a tongue piercing?
Youre so scared of getting old
that age makes you ashamed.
You know what?
Yes: Im 60, my breasts sag,
I have facial hair.
My heart keeps getting broken,
but its still not the end.
And Im damned if Ill let anyone
talk me into being ashamed.
You sold your sperm.
Luise... bought some.
Of your sperm.
I dont think she knew,
but its true.
How could you?
- Do you know how many kids you have out there?
- Do you?
Dont get moral. Youve shared
your sperm for decades!
Show respect for your father!
My father? I moved here
to get to know my father!
Sadly I found a lonely, sad old man
who thinks time rewinds
if he screws young women.
Who gets up every morning,
looks at his body
only to concede that death
is one day closer.
Good. An honest moment
between father and son, eh?
As for Luise,
Im proud she chose me.
No one deserves to be happier.
Max?
Dont you want to come in?
I was just heading to the office...
I'm not sure its appropriate.
Im so sorry.
- Frans told you.
- Its not about Frans.
I just wanted to say
I think youre brave.
And Id be proud if you...
you know...
Does your father know youre here?
Were not talking to each other.
Ive got to go. Ill be late.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
I didnt expect you.
The whole citys full of posters
and I was curious.
And tomorrow Im moving away.
I wanted to say: I wont do it.
Even if I had, I wouldnt
have used Maxs donation.
Youve no reason to be angry
with him, just me.
Well survive.
- Of course.
- And what about you?
I saw a psychotherapist and
Im probably not crazy.
But perhaps I shouldve
left home 40 years earlier.
Well... My flight leaves
tomorrow and I have to pack
and have a thousand things to do
before I leave.
And Im so excited and
I talk too much when Im excited.
And... actually I wanted to say...
Im truly, deeply sorry
if I hurt you and your son.
Luise. The most beautiful woman...
Here... Thats you.
At least in this part of the room.
I present to you a thrilling moment...
and hope youre not disappointed.
Thank you.
I earned it.
He tore out six walls
and all the shelves.
- For 20 minutes of bird song.
- For better sound.
Im a total idiot.
I loved a man once.
I never told him.
I was only interested in pussy.
OK, good to know.
Frans? Frans?
Luise is going to do it.
- What?
- Shes fetching her eggs from the lab,
on the way to the airport.
Its true that deep inside
we never grow older than 18.
Do you have any porn?
Sorry, Im in a rush.
We're coming.
Now weve got her.
Ah, there she is.
No.
Wheres she gone?
Who drives this way to the airport?
Hi Mum. Hi Dad.
Here we are.
Me and your frozen grandkids.
Ah, Doris.
I miss you so much,
you crazy old bat.
You radiate this light.
Youre a troublemaker.
Youre a true revolutionary.
You make me see myself
with your eyes.
When youre here,
good things happen.
When everyone says
'Lower your expectations'
you ask: 'Why?'
What are you trying to tell me?
Just a few reasons
why I love you.
Saying it doesnt make it true.
Theyre just words.
I have something better:
sperm.
My sperm.
The idea you could do anything
without me, even buy shoes,
kills me.
So, in brief, or else
well miss our flight: Luise:
I want you to know
how it feels
to hold your own baby in your arms.
Our baby.
Ive never ever wanted anything
this much.
- Theres a problem.
- Naturally. As always.
I came here to bury my eggs.
But Im here now.
Now we can do it.
I cant do it.
- If you were younger...
- Me?
At least one of us.
I had my mother
over 60 years and...
that wasnt long enough.
And me?
You?
Frans...
All I ever wanted was
to hold someone in my arms
who I love and who loves me.
And I wanted that to be my baby.
But maybe a dogs enough.
Wait here.
I meant it.
I'd have liked to be
the father of your child.
Max would take care of it
if something happened.
Shit!
Translation by
Wyndham Wallace and Fabian Schmidt
alias film und sprachtransfer
we never grow older than 18.
For shes a jolly good fellow,
For shes a jolly good fellow,
And so say all of us.
- What's that?
- Your retirement party.
I'm not retiring, Bernhard.
You fired me.
I wanted to harmonise things.
"Marlies or me." Your words.
- This way you get your full pension.
- Bernhard! I was bluffing!
If I'd fired Marlies?
Would that be a bluff?
OK, I've learned my lesson.
But get rid of the kids party?
I've lost enough work time already.
Bernhard, this
workplace squabble...
- You broke her left thumb.
- She touched my centrifuge!
Luise, youre a great
biologist, but in 40 years
youve not made one friend here.
- Is this Facebook?
- Im worried about you, Luise.
Youre socially inept,
youre angry.
- Sarah...
- Your wife? Whats she got to do with it?
See? Thats the problem
your staff have.
- You cant even listen.
- Yes I can. - Without interrupting?
Sarah studied psychology before
she quit to have my children.
I have a strong connection to
my feminine side,
but Sarah says I missed the signs:
its clear you have penis envy.
Many working women of
your age have this anger.
A feeling of social injustice.
The fact men can have everything:
family and career.
While women must make sacrifices.
Now, Sarah rightly states, youre
nearing the end of your life,
and perhaps youre looking back.
Anger management.
Sarah says its never too late
to heal old wounds.
- May I speak now?
- Yes.
Penis envy!
Where did Sarah study?
Late 19th Century Vienna?
The only thing men have
and I dont is
prostate cancer.
That much? Come on, Christian,
Im not paying that much.
Youre restoring a print,
not Rembrandt himself.
Yes, I know Im funny. If my jokes
were as laughable
as your prices, Id close
the gallery and tour.
OK, I can live with that.
Good, Ill send it over tomorrow.
When is Kramer coming
to frame the pictures?
I want to ensure
the Bosch collection
coincides with the retrospective.
11.30. Ive postponed your lunch.
I hope that wasnt wrong.
Wrong...
is a very flexible word.
Wait.
Isnt that awesome?
A guy at Uni posted it.
Listen to how it rocks!
I can forward it if you like?
Its perfect for here.
It lends a little atmosphere.
It's...
How longs the artist been dead?
Maybe fifteen years?
Youre more art dealer
than gallery owner, right?
More buy and sell.
Youre not
really part of the scene.
Oh, Im talking too much, right?
Maybe its better to pick up again
at my place later.
Now youll always think of us
when you hear this music.
And how you fuck me here.
Hi, Mum. Im still in the office.
Yes, they threw a small
party for me...
and now Ive got to clear up.
Yes, Ill tell you everything when I...
Milk and salt.
No, I wont forget.
See you soon. Bye, Mum.
Hello! Stop!
What happened?
- Were you mugged?
- No, no. Jogging.
I cant move. Can you help me?
- Cant you call someone?
- Theres no reception.
I have to go shopping.
- The shop at the station.
- Know what milk costs there?
Will you help me?
- Can you walk?
- What does it look like?
No need to be rude.
My car's over there.
If you can make it, Ill drive
you to the hospital.
I guess its lumbago.
My mother always gets it.
- It could be worse. The doctor...
- Yes, yes. Whatever.
Youre not talking anymore.
Did you write this?
You cant be serious. I was rude,
OK? It was unnecessary.
I lay in the bushes 40 minutes.
You were the fourth to pass.
The other three wore headphones.
OK. What will the doctor give me?
An injection. To relax the muscles.
- That helps my mother.
- Your mothers still alive?
- Yes, why?
- Ah, nothing.
- I mean, thats unusual.
- What?
At your age?
Your mothers still alive?
- Fill this out for your husband.
- Shes not my wife!
- Youre not married?
- Id rather stab myself with a knife.
She doesnt even know me.
He was lying in the bushes.
I shouldve left him to rot.
You should have seen how
she smiled at me.
She stuck to me
like a 70s polyester suit.
How quick can you fix this?
Ive got an appointment.
Mum? Doris?
Its already started!
Ah, birthday girl.
You remembered the milk and salt.
I thought youd forget.
How was your last day?
Was it a fun party?
Get anything?
Youve not brought anything.
No bag. No presents?
Did you drink anything?
You smell a bit of smoke.
The key belongs here.
So, nothing at all.
Hurry up! Come on!
Hello, Mum!
St. Augustin
The little albino sea
bear from Dortmund Zoo...
Eared seals. Eared seals!
Nose breathers...
- Three toed fins.
- That's the right answer.
Who comes up with this stuff?
Did you make a wish?
A quick death.
I got the cruise catalogues
I told you about.
If we book today we get 30% off
and an all-you-can-eat voucher
for the pool buffet.
Youre perfect.
Youre sweet.
This is the Breakfast Show
on 95.8 at 8.51am.
What do you get when you lock a lioness
in a cage with a male tiger?
What kept you?
I had to piss in the sink.
I moved the dishes.
Here. Read it. Its the migration
policy article I worked on.
The interview with Hamze Btyci
really paid off.
Dad?
- Dad?
- Yes, sure, Im really curious.
What is it?
Romy.
Max.
- Is that organic?
- Of course. - Its not.
Romys studying Art History
and works at the gallery.
- What have you done with your hair?
- Nothing.
I like it.
Im going for a quick shower,
if thats OK?
Stale smoke, sex...
its a killer mix.
Isnt she fantastic?
- Shes 12.
- Come on. Dont be so uptight.
Ive never felt so alive.
Stop it!
What? Its reassuring.
You always look so happy
when youre asleep.
Get dressed. We have a busy day.
Were going to have so much fun!
I heard that.
Holidays, weekends,
Christmas, overtime.
This job has stolen
almost 40 years.
Now we can make up
for lost time together.
Shoulders straight!
Thats right!
And up!
Do that again and Ill break your
crippled fingers like firewood.
- Hello?
- Luise?
Marlies here. You left a few
things behind...
Marlies, put them aside. Ill pick
them up next time Im near.
Ill be there in five minutes!
Ah, our part-time psychologist.
How pathetic!
Luise!
- Anything interesting?
- Research papers.
I didn't expect you so soon.
I still had a few things here.
I was thinking...
If the budget cuts have led to...
I mean... I could... well...
Even without...
Just a couple of days a week?
Thanks for the offer.
Everythings fine.
I hope theres no
bad feelings between us.
No more than usual.
Thats the Luise I love!
- Luise!
- Marlies.
Satisfied? Ive removed
every trace of my useless stuff.
Not everything.
I was revising a few
of your research projects
and found yet more
useless stuff of yours.
Throw away or donate?
I contacted the women
you tested.
- Most want to donate.
- Donate? Theyre still healthy.
20 years at the same temperature.
- Theyre as fresh as new.
- Whats your problem with me?
I know you started
this coup to oust me.
The others already hated you.
I just printed the form.
They couldnt even choose
someone qualified for this job.
Thats all theyve done 20 years:
print out forms.
You really think youre special.
I may not be so qualified, but
at least Im not alone.
Yes, I have a husband.
One who loves me.
Youll grow old alone.
Still here?
Any problems?
Marlies drank Formaldehyde again.
- What's that?
- Luise's eggs.
Unfertilised.
And as ice cold as she is.
Thats funny! For a moment I thought...
Marlies, Keep them cool!
Are you crazy?
You've no idea what it means
to care for someone else.
- Day and night.
- Know what I thought on the bog?
None of it really
interested you.
But it's true!
Were the establishment!
Weve become what
we rebelled against at 20, 30.
No idea about me,
but youve become a hairdresser!
- Ill bring an ashtray.
- I have more hair. So?
Be serious. I mean real changes.
Something existential.
You think it changes anything,
if you find
- a new Damien Hirst pant-pooper?
- What do I know?
Its just...
You know...
I feel like Ive woken up
after 20 years of sleepwalking.
All that energy.
The feeling anything was possible.
Its all about pussy, right?
Theres nothing new any more.
Its all been done a million times.
Art is nothing but a pile
of self-serving, overrated shit,
used by the "elite" to decorate
the white walls
of their miserable existence.
That's all.
Im always amazed how much
you love your own voice.
Dont you know why we rebelled?
You mean the two idiots who thought
they could change the world?
Better than two old farts
waiting to die.
I want to be surprised again.
Give someone young
and fresh a chance.
I want to believe in something.
Theres a guy called Jon Schmidt.
- Has he already exhibited?
- No.
But I still think
its just about pussy
Max. Good article.
I hope youve got a sequel.
- Yes. Almost ready.
- Yes? Great!
Maybe use more facts.
As always, more research.
Your style is good.
Its different.
Honest.
People like it. I do.
Cool. Thanks.
Boss, I have an idea.
We could appeal to
more older people online.
- Yes?
- Right. And...?
Were losing potential
ad revenue.
If print declines further,
well have people on board.
Thats hardly new.
What else?
Meet with the older readers...
Ask them which subjects
weve so far failed to address.
- Find a new approach.
- Yes, exactly.
Prepare something. If it's
good, I'll show the ad team.
- Cool.
- Hello.
And? Why do you look
so pleased with yourself?
Ive found a reason to date my Dad.
How do I take
the batteries out?
You cant. Thats the point.
Only I can programme it.
To avoid teenage pregnancies,
young girls must comprehend
the conditions full extent.
Chronic sleep loss.
Total loss of freedom and identity.
Their life will never be the same.
Tell your daughter
to be gentle with the baby.
Its not had it easy until now.
Are you home?
Everyone was asking after you.
I said Ive not seen you for days.
I said I saw you more
while you were still working.
At least ring the bell.
The keys only for emergencies.
I couldve guessed. The internet.
What junk are you wasting
your hard earned cash on now?
Sperm.
Sit down, Mum.
I have something to say.
- Are you taking drugs?
- No, Mum.
Its not easy to say,
so Ill just say it.
Youre going to be a grandmother.
I knew it! That first year
after Ipswich Uni?
Is it a boy or a girl?
How old?
My God, it must be 30 already!
I could be a great grandmother!
Does it even know I exist?
Was it adopted?
My God, is it coming here?
The mess here!
You have to help!
Mom! Youre not a granny yet.
Sperm.
We never talked about it, but
I always thought
as a molecular biologist
you knew all about these things.
With or without sperm,
the timespan for a woman
to get pregnant...
Mum, you don't believe
I need sex education
at the age of sixty.
Listen. Listen to me carefully?
Ill only explain this once.
And when Im done,
Ill answer all your questions.
Then well never mention it again.
Is that clear?
Im not stupid.
When I was 40, I had the chance
to freeze my eggs for research.
Now I find out they still exist.
Deep frozen. As fresh as new.
- But arent you...
- Im too old?
Four years ago,
a British psychologist
aged 63 had a healthy
boy called James.
With donors eggs and
her second husbands sperm.
I have the eggs. I just need sperm.
- That sounds very romantic.
- My dear mother,
the oldest mother
is a 74 year old Indian
who bore her own grandchild,
because her daughter-in-law
was infertile.
- I need a drink.
- Yes.
Every second Hollywood actress
has twins at the age of 55.
Im just five years older.
The sperm bank
the institute works with
checks each donors
last three generations.
I have the code.
I pick one, pay,
and then the sperm
is on its way by courier.
- By courier? Where to?
- To Munich.
I was tested there last Monday.
I have a 38 year
olds constitution.
Im on hormone treatment
for my hormonal balance.
- Is he a good doctor?
- The best in his field.
We met a few years ago at
a conference in Buenos Aires.
- A very nice man.
- Why didnt you marry?
Mum! Your only daughter is planning
your only grandchild!
- And what about our cruise?
- We can still do that.
- What will people think?
- I couldnt care less.
It sounds a lot
like a new research project.
Mum, I know how excited you were
about my retirement.
But well definitely spend
more time together.
Should I look for sperm too?
Most people play Scrabble.
Thanks for coming. Im
sure the gallerys busy.
- So whats this about?
- Work.
- A new format for older people...
- Older people?
You know what I mean.
Ageing hippies, retired radicals.
Whos talking about retirement?
Frans...
This isnt just about you.
Its about your generation.
Born after the war.
Their bad relationships
with parents.
Your mother
romanticised families.
She tried to sit us round a table
to talk through our problems.
Shes a therapist.
What did you expect?
Good point.
Did she tell you about the house
on the Swedish island?
- No.
- She rented it
and invited my parents
as a surprise.
I lay awake at nights
fantasising about ways
to batter my father
with a dried fish.
- Why are you laughing?
- Hey!
At last! What took you so long?
We missed you so much!
Do you always wear suits?
You prefer hoodies
and baggy jeans?
The mans 60!
Don't act like Ive turned
off my hearing aid.
- You have a hearing aid?
- No!
Youre absolutely right:
expensive suits, Cashmere socks.
- When did I grow up?
- Thirty years ago.
We can all count, Max. Im 60. So?
Must I wear a pensioners
uniform the rest of my life
- so I dont embarrass my son?
- Yes.
See you at home.
Maybe I should sleep
at home tonight.
Ah, let him be. Forget it.
Hell survive. Really.
He just needs a little time.
So whos winning the election now?
I never knew choosing sperm
was so tiring.
Astronaut. Astrophysicist.
Composer. Ballet dancer.
Washing machine repairman?
Well, ours is always broken, so...
Brain surgeon.
What? Were nearly finished.
Oh, I dont know.
Maybe you're right.
I mean, by my critieria
its logical
to look for the best for the baby.
- But?
- But whoever the father is,
- Im still the mother.
- And?
And maybe thats too one-sided.
We should look for genes so
the kid can just be
as normal as possible.
A kid should have friends,
not spend his days in a lab.
Yes, I know. Just like me.
Another reason
to choose someone
completely average.
Youre perfect.
But you were never normal.
This one.
Shit.
- Everything OK?
- Yes, go back to bed.
Should I call a doctor?
It's from Romy.
I cant find my glasses.
Its 4am!
Go back to bed! Please!
Your back? Ill fetch the tablets.
- Thats private!
- Want to know what she wrote?
Yes. And?
Oh, no.
- And? Whats she saying? Tell me.
- Its over.
Youre reading too much
into things and...
And what?
Shed rather keep her job,
if that' s OK...
Go back to bed, OK?
- Are those my boots?
- Is that a problem?
Were the same size.
Please dont say
youre doing it for Romy.
You never liked her.
- So its my fault?
- You certainly werent very helpful.
I think thats...
Yes. Thats him.
- What should I do?
- No idea.
Walk behind him and
see if hes nice.
That cant be true!
What the hells that on his head?
What?
Luise?
- This is a bad joke, right?
- What?
A million people in this city,
- and of all of them I had to...
- Luise?
Luise. Whats going on?
Luise?
Disconnected.
Frans! Frans!
ACCIDENT & EMERGENCY
Got anything
to remove blood?
Theres a new market.
A Casualty Department cleaners.
- But I thought...
- Were not!
He nearly ran me over.
Shes stalking me! She got
my address from the form.
Right. Dream on.
The last time anyone
dreamed of you,
he wasnt born.
The time that inspired
this Miami Vice outfit?
- Classic midlife crisis.
- Midlife?
How olds he going to be? 150?
My goodness, your hand!
Dont worry. Lots of people cant
look at blood.
- Hell be normal in a moment.
- Normal? I doubt it.
Hard to believe youre his son.
Hes OK if you get to know him.
What about dinner
as an apology for this trouble?
Are you trying to set me up?
OK, not his finest hour, but...
- He has qualities.
- Nothing personal.
Hes just not my type.
Take a seat, please?
The insurance form needs filling.
Not her type.
Sorry Im late.
- This is...?
- Jon.
Great. Lovely youre here.
Professor Dnker told me
all about your work.
So, Jon.
I assume youve brought
us a sample of your work?
No.
Then how will we know...
You wont.
- My works conceptual.
- And the concept is...?
you dont know the concept.
Is everything OK?
The text message, I mean.
It's not going to be
an issue, is it?
Of course. Everythings fine.
Anything else?
Ive got some papers.
Not her type.
I dont believe it...
Would little Willys mother please
collect him from the Information Desk?
What?
Never seen a pregnant woman?
And?
Oh. Its you.
I barely recognised you.
You look different somehow.
You're lopsided.
I dont want to talk about it.
- You're stalking me.
- You forgot this.
Now you crouch by
nursing bras
waiting for the right moment
to remind me.
What do you mean,
Im not your type?
- Which word dont you understand?
- Not.
OK, good. Where shall I start?
Youre rude, have no dress sense,
I find you physically unattractive
and you ran me over in your car.
- Im not attractive?
- No, not to me.
Then name someone
you do find attractive.
- Im listening.
- Steve McQueen.
Hes dead!
So you think 'The Deer Hunter'
is a racist film?
I didnt say racist. I said
its ridiculous
to portray Americans as
victims of the Vietnam War.
- What about their camps?
- But thats not what its about!
Its not a statement about war!
Its about friendship, home,
the uprooting of the familiar.
- I disagree.
- Im right and youre not.
- Have you decided?
- I have.
Youre the most arrogant
arsehole Ive ever met.
- And to eat?
- Penne Arrabiata and a green salad.
So whats this all about?
- I was never pregnant. I wanted to try it.
- And?
Your son must make you proud.
Hes very decent.
- Thats rare for someone of his age.
- Hes OK.
- Wasnt so good at school...
- He had top grades...
We talked about it in the hospital.
Middle of the day
and youre not working.
I thought you were
a super-scientist.
- A retired super-scientist.
- Arent you young for a pensioner?
But too old to have a mother?
Youre too old for sex,
but a few more years in a lab?
Youre so charming.
You bring out my best.
I was fired, but they called it
early retirement.
Sixty?
Yes. God.
It sounds so grown up.
How do you want to die?
In my sleep. Like my granddad,
not awake, screaming
like the others in his car.
Youre not so bad when you laugh.
And youre likeable
when youre funny.
It was an old joke.
Luckily you didnt know it.
Honestly, recently, I feel like
an old joke myself.
When I was young,
Id look at a room
and I was perhaps
the best looking there.
As years pass
it happens less and less.
Then one day it stops entirely.
You never think about it again.
I just wanted to be
the most intelligent.
Youre a peculiar woman, Luise.
Thank you.
Just to be sure:
this wasnt a date, right?
- Because Im in love with someone.
- Someone other than yourself?
- Hard to fathom, eh?
- Does he love you?
Very funny. Its a She.
- But weve split up. Its oddly very exciting.
- How?
Men must hunt.
Did you really say that?
- Law of the jungle.
- Did we just return to the 50s?
I didnt demonstrate
for womens rights
to play childish
gender games.
The demos were childish,
not the games.
We were kids!
I was in the Communist party!
Look at me now!
- You compare communism to feminism?
- No, being old to being young.
OK.
And you think
she loves you too?
Before we continue this personal
chat, can we start again?
Frans.
My God. Its no marriage proposal.
- Luise.
- OK. So...
Shes called Romy.
I've got to pee to take
the pressure off the story.
If the waiter comes, order wine.
Yes.
Another bottle of wine, please.
- So youre not pregnant?
- If I was?
Come on.
Tell the truth.
Ive had weird looks all day,
- but I can take it.
- Seriously?
- Why not?
- Ill get the wine.
No, no. Spit it out.
Its not about how people see you.
Its about
how the child feels.
At school, when kids say,
Heres your gran.
The kid has to say,
Thats not Gran, thats Mum.
Theyll die laughing.
And if hes a boy,
he must defend you.
Shut your mouth and bring wine.
So. Her name is Romy,
and she has skin like...
like Carrara marble...
like alabaster.
Youre always wondering..
did Michelangelo
make you or are you real?
Like a Madonna, so carnal, so sensual...
so young...
Hey, Luise.
Great to see you.
- Is he here?
- Yes... Denis!
I wasnt sure
I understood you on the phone.
Why exactly do you want
to borrow my grandchild?
Its part of my anger
therapy.
I took your wifes advice.
Im so proud of you.
Just hand him over, Bernhard.
Hello, Denis. Im Luise.
Right...
His mother said no fast food,
and no petting strange animals.
So you know Im not really angry.
A St. Christopher, to protect you.
Wherever life leads you.
No more toilet paper.
Jon, I didnt see
you there.
I'm here.
Thank you. Youre an angel.
- Is there progress?
- Does art require progress?
Ill be right back.
No sugar... for me.
Why stick a piece of Medieval
metal through your tongue?
Massaging the clitoris with it
leads to multiple orgasms.
Ecstasy.
Apparently
better than drugs.
- Apparently?
- Apparently.
If you ever change your mind
about us, I would...
It would never have worked.
Romy. I want to be fair.
Theres a molecular biologist,
and shes mad about me.
Thank God! I was worried about
hurting you if...
you saw me with Dirk.
I didnt know old people
like candyfloss too.
And how old am I?
Our teacher asked us once.
Marvin said 56. But she was 32.
Then she started to cry,
and ran out of the room.
Then she was off sick for a week.
What normally happens
at weekends?
After brushing my teeth,
I go down for breakfast.
Then Im quiet and pretend not
to watch TV...
'til Mum and Dad get up.
And during the week?
- Who takes you to school?
- Magda.
- Thats your Mums name?
- Its our au-pairs.
- Who meets you at school?
- Magda.
- Dinner? - Magda. Bedtime?
- Magda.
You must really like Magda.
Shes OK. When shes not drunk.
Come, baby, come.
Come here, come.
I don't know how this works!
Come here, you.
Luise? We need to speak
urgently.
Yes... Yes... So where are you?
Luise! Do you know how long
it took to find this playground?
Where are we anyway?
Its a while since I read
the feminist manifesto, but...
- arent such clothes forbidden?
- Its an experiment.
- Whats up? Cant your problem wait?
- No. She has a Dirk.
A shitty masseur, physio, whatever.
20, probably. A sixpack,
all his own hair.
20? Whyd a grown up woman
want a 20 year old?
- Yeah, Romys 26.
- Whos Romy?
Tell me, do you hear anything
anyone says to you?
Romy...
- Romys the woman I love.
- Shes 26?
- This friendship of ours wont work.
- 26? So?
- When I told her about us...
- Us?
I may have exaggerated
our relationship.
- To make her jealous.
- Of a 60 year old?
I only mentioned the biology stuff.
- And now?
- And now?
So whats our plan?
I need your help!
Excuse me.
Your son's on the slide
and wont let the other kids past.
You cant leave me standing here!
My hearts torn
into a thousand pieces.
Get a massage from Dirk or something.
- Quickly!
- Brilliant!
Hes really spoiling
the kids fun.
Yes, I need a phone number.
Whats she doing now?
Wait, my little angel, Im coming.
Dont ask.
Did you at least
have a lovely day?
The loveliest
day of my life.
Except when Luise danced naked
on the table at McDonalds.
That was a joke, Bernhard.
Thank you for a wonderful day.
Luise?
I spoke to Marlies.
Dont do it. Dont be a fool.
Entirely between us.
And entirely honestly.
If I were a man,
would you say that?
With that worried look, and
that disgust in your voice?
- Erm, no...
- Thank you.
I never want
to discuss this topic again.
And now the other side...
You stupid idiot.
Dad, you were late last night.
Romy... Are you back together?
Good. She wasnt right for you.
I know I wasnt supportive, but...
You were like a teenager.
It freaked me out.
And Dirk? How was he?
Tell me. You've dragged me into
your sordid schemes
and now I'm as addicted as a
Mexican maid to a TV show.
So...
- Whats the latest twist?
- I was drunk.
In which city d
id Lena Meier-Landruth defend
her Eurovision Song Contest title
in 2011?
Was it Detmold, Dortmund or Dsseldorf?
It was Dsseldorf.
Hed already said it.
How were songwriters Degenhard
and Kardinal related...?
Cousins.
Were they father and son,
siblings or cousins?
Ill go with siblings.
Which animals...?
Do you have painkillers?
Koi carp! Koi carp!
Isnt it too early for TV?
I bet you think Im an old fool.
- What was that?
- Age spot.
- Hes annoying me.
- Behave yourself, Mum.
Small one for pain.
Big ones antibiotics.
- Any allergies?
- Thank you.
Bell.
Youve not even heard
the question.
By the way, I dont think
youre an old fool.
You were drunk and in love.
Both provoke stupidity.
Steve McQueen?
Shut up and drink your wine.
Can you read my mind?
We were together a couple of years,
then he went back to his wife.
It didnt really bother me.
My job was always my first love.
Ive always lived
in the present.
Ive never looked back before
and questioned my decisions.
Oddly, it helps to know that
his marriage is a success.
Must it always be so complex?
Or is it just our generation thats
paralysed by these endless choices?
It was always this complex.
And you?
No grand, true love so far?
I never thought Id be living
alone at 60,
with my mother
just one floor below.
It could be worse.
- How?
- You could have cats.
I think she still loves me.
- Romy.
- I doubt she ever loved you.
- What?
- Come on.
Young women dont
love old men
- with weak bladders and saggy skin.
- Let it out!
It was just infatuation.
She felt flattered
that this wise,
experienced man of the world
was interested in her.
And she wont even love Dirk.
Itll be a younger man.
Youve no idea
how women tick.
Dating Steve McQueen doesn't mean
you can judge normal women.
- Normal?
- Normal.
And if Romy told me
she never loved you?
She wont.
Its not true.
So its OK to ask her?
Please. Go right ahead.
There. Thats her.
- You still want me to ask her?
- Go ahead.
And dont look so smug.
You don't have all the answers.
I do. Everything! Ask!
Theres nothing I cant answer.
- Wheres my baby doll?
- Exactly.
Mrs Jansen, the alarms
been flashing for a week now,
and you cant be found.
Tell your daughter,
wherever she is,
probably having unsafe sex,
that I want my baby back. Now!
Ill meet you at the car.
So I said, delete me. Like I care.
Then shed have less friends,
and people would worry
about Toms status
if shes got 300 friends.
I mean, whatever.
Toms an arsehole.
He might as well be blind.
- Although...
- Excuse me.
- Do you love Frans Winter?
- What?
Sorry. I couldve
asked more subtly,
but this blabbering numbs my brain.
- Do you love Frans?
- Did he send you?
No. Im a friend of his.
Look, he loves you,
and thinks you still love him too.
- And you want to help him?
- No. I want to correct him.
Look at you. Why
the grandfather fixation?
Youre a weird friend.
Please dont misunderstand me.
You should be happy he likes you.
But to be honest:
if you were
20 kilos heavier,
we wouldnt be talking.
If you were 20 years younger,
we wouldnt be either.
The molecular biologist.
Youre right. I never loved him.
Its a phase.
I love fucking old men.
I get a kick out of it.
You were right.
Yes! I knew it!
What did she say?
Shes still with Dirk,
and needs time.
And...
Oh, God! I feel so good!
I could uproot a tree,
I could kill a bear!
I could...
Well, I can help you with that.
What the hell is his problem?
Ignore him.
Hes marking his territory.
- Steve McQueen...?
- Hes over 90. He barely has teeth.
- Im not called Romy...
- The taunts of a jealous heart.
Yes, Im jealous.
You simply cant bear the fact
Ive found love and you havent.
Consider this affair again:
Romys still with Dirk.
But says she loves me.
I was too hot to handle.
Shes coming back!
See you!
Ah, Im back again.
There she is! Romy!
Come on, come on...
- You dont really believe that.
- Well, yes.
Lets say theres life after death.
- What comes then?
- Paradise, nirvana, whatever.
- Thats nonsense.
- Why?
Next youll say reincarnation exists.
- And if I did?
- You see a future in it?
Yes.
Remind me how she defined
your relationship?
Fuck buddies.
That would develop.
You said you couldnt
talk over dinner.
So? Men and women are different.
We dont fear boredom.
Hence old boy networks.
And The Sports Show.
Dont be so uptight!
Thats art!
That's an art form.
Primitive graffiti goes back
30,000 years before Christ.
The only Safaitic traditions,
an ancient Arabic tongue,
- are graffiti.
- Im not senile.
I know graffiti can be art.
But not all graffiti.
And definitely not:
'How can I say I love you if
you are sitting on my face.'
Thats a projection screen.
Free for interpretations.
But its ill... illegal.
Illegal, illegal, illegal!
And freedom of expression
and equality too...?
- Exactly. They work so well...
- What?
Whats up?
Do you know them?
Luise?
This is stupid.
Hey! Hey!
Wait a moment!
Whats she up to now?
Thats one crazy chick.
That is art.
You always have
food in your beard!
Steve McQueen?
Steve McQueen?
Is that Steve McQueen?
He was younger when we met.
That doesnt matter.
He was never Steve McQueen.
OK, he wasnt. Now please be quiet!
Maybe Steve McQueen today.
Mrs Jansen?
The gentleman kindly declined
to press charges.
Against my advice, Id add.
That, Mrs Jansen,
was a criminal act.
Thank you.
I didnt think you were capable of
such a primitive act, Luise.
I never thought you were
fucking Marlies.
- Were just... friends.
- Tell that to your wife.
Well, then.
Thank you for another day
of unforgettable adventures.
You must think Im ridiculous.
Unfortunately not.
Is something wrong?
I never... I just never thought
Id do that here again.
A bed. Sex in a bed.
These trips are increasingly popular.
The Icelandic horse,
also called the Icelandic pony,
Is a versatile and robust breed.
Thanks to its strong physique
these animals can...
I like this. If only...
Theyre gaited horses...
because most of them have not only
the basic gaits...
walk, trot and canter...
You keep surprising me.
- How long have you smoked?
- Since I was 15.
But dont tell my Mum.
The Icelandic horse
is quiet and reliable...
and therefore
also suitable for beginners.
Reykjavik, the countrys oldest city...
Inglfur Arnarson...
- Ive never been to Reykjavik.
- Youd love it.
Maybe you could show me one day.
I mean...
You know what I mean.
and vowed to settle wherever
the sea washed them ashore.
A few years later
his slaves found the pillars...
I want a baby.
- Youre so funny.
- No. Really.
I know the timings off.
Several years ago,
I had my eggs frozen.
Now I'm set: I want a child.
My own child. And...
its feasible.
With all due respect,
feasibly we can transplant
a human head onto an ape,
but no one does that.
And all the men our age
who still have babies?
Charlie Chaplin was a father at 80.
His wife probably 25.
You think its OK
for older men to have kids,
but not older women?
- Should I be honest?
- Yes.
Yes, thats what I think.
Its unnatural.
But possible.
I was taught to ask not only why,
but to examine why not.
Since mans been on this earth
hes aimed for the stars.
Elongated fertility
would change loads,
for people, for society.
But...
it certainly wont be
the last change,
or the biggest.
Im no feminist or crazy scientist.
I just want
to hold my own baby in my arms.
Come on, Luise.
Look at us.
Our lives are ending.
It should be cosy, not stressful.
I can imagine anything with Romy.
Not that I see no future with you,
but it would be different.
We can travel...
Ive seen Reykjavik.
Ive never seen my own child.
Come on. Luise, this is too crazy.
Yeah. Yeah.
This was a mistake.
Id like you to go.
- How is she?
- She wants a baby.
With all the bells and whistles.
- But isnt she...
- Yes, too old.
She has eggs.
- Deep frozen eggs.
- Then thats OK.
Is she serious?
She says its possible,
and she must know.
Shes a prizewinning biologist.
- You like her!
- Shes... wonderful.
- So whats the problem?
- Are you crazy? Shes 60!
So? 60 year old men
regularly have kids.
Tell me, do you women meet
secretly to prepare these phrases?
- Shes right, Frans.
- Not you too!
Is Romy more qualified?
I just saw
her at the club.
Just because shes younger!
This isnt the Stone Age!
- Its not natural.
- Yes.
Like heart transplants,
Viagra and X-Rays.
But they call those progress.
- Is she still there?
- Luise?
Yes, prob... No! He means Romy.
Frans. Frans, forget it!
Ciao!
I have my first story
for the new setup.
What?
I think hell want
to read this one.
Max? Hey, Max!
Max!
Max?
Max?
Comma...
Comma...
Luise Jansen.
Blood test, hormone test.
Ah, yes. Please take a seat.
Mrs Bruckmaier?
Mr Bruckmaier?
Your wife said
you might like to see it.
I like your new style. Racy!
- Racy?
- Perky.
Perky. Thanks.
Its a lovely
room for the baby.
- Have you talked to the workers?
- Yes.
So where will you
drill through?
- From my bedroom down to here.
- Aha.
Ah, look!
I remember us buying that.
- In Scotland.
- So cold. Rained every day.
- But a lovely time.
- Why did you keep all this?
All these years?
Theres a phrase:
magical thinking.
When your father comes back,
hell finally need his shoes.
But you know hes dead.
I mean, hes not keeping a low profile
on business in Acapulco.
- You still want to keep them?
- Maybe.
Oh, look here!
I totally forgot! Look at us!
Youre 17 there!
43 years younger than me!
It would all be easier
if Id been born a boy.
Look at Dad. He had
his research and a kid.
- Because you were always there.
- Thats how we did it.
- But I cant.
- But youre at home anyway.
That's not what I mean.
But you were so sure.
Whats changed?
What do you know now
you didnt yesterday?
Im too old to love someone new.
Jon said if anyone would
understand you would.
Inside the white cube,
Ryan O'Doherty,
the sanctity of a church,
the integrity of a courtroom,
the mystery of a research lab.
All combine to create
a unique space of aesthetics.
My phone is on if
theres something important.
Hes torn down an entire wall!
And? Do you know
what hes trying to say?
Im not senile! I just thought,
'Why my gallery!'
Whats your problem?
True artists never restrict
themselves to whats expected.
Were you ever attracted to
a woman who was deranged?
Attracted to one? I married two!
Yeah... No!
Miss Sixty: Decorated Biologist
To Be Mother at 60
- Excuse me?
- No.
Shit, shit, shit!
- Max!
- Miss Sixty?
Relax. Most people
want to get the front page.
So would I with another story!
Man! Frans will kill me.
Miss Sixty? Whats this shit
got to do with it?
Max, its a good article.
We added some stuff
so people read it.
Of course I wrote it...
This Miss Sixty shit wasnt my idea.
Her story touched me.
Leave her in peace.
Shes got nothing to say.
Parasites!
Hey! Whats going on?
Are you crazy up there?
Parasites!
Ill get you!
Get away from the window. Mum!
What are you doing?
Take this.
Quick! Quick!
Look at their faces.
Like little scaredy-cats.
Take care of your own crap!
You blowflies!
Havent had so much fun in ages!
Itd all be normal
if I say Im not doing it.
Ah, screw normal! Im proud to say
nothing about you is normal.
Who cares what you decide?
Whether you have a baby or not?
Let them believe you will!
- Youre a fighter, Doris Jansen.
- Youve inherited that too.
- Are we insured?
- Yes!
Watch out! Theres more coming!
Mrs Bittel said we could
use her rear entrance.
My cars there.
Maybe well take a little trip.
Get away from this circus.
Fancy that? You can choose where.
So what do you think? Doris?
Mum? Mum?
No! Mum, please.
Dont go! Mum! Mum!
An ambulance, please.
My mother...
shes stopped breathing.
- How did you get in?
- Mrs Bittel.
I tried with pralines,
but she prefers cigars.
I can well imagine
what youre going through.
Im really sorry.
Doris was an amazing woman.
- Why are you here?
- I dont know.
I thought maybe
you might need a friend.
Yes. Id rather not be here.
If its OK,
- Ill get changed.
- Of course.
- Frans, I wanted...
- My sons sperm?
Now youre going to say,
Its not how it looks.
Does he know?
I always thought
you were stalking me.
But it was always about Max.
All those questions about
childhood, hobbies, friends...
- I wanted to tell you. Honest.
- Really? When?
Before you gave birth
to my grandchild? Or after?
- He wouldnt be your first.
- What?
His sperm is,
so to speak, a best seller.
That's too much.
Frans! Dont go!
Let me explain. Please!
Do you know how old he is?
You should be ashamed!
Says the pensioner
with a tongue piercing?
Youre so scared of getting old
that age makes you ashamed.
You know what?
Yes: Im 60, my breasts sag,
I have facial hair.
My heart keeps getting broken,
but its still not the end.
And Im damned if Ill let anyone
talk me into being ashamed.
You sold your sperm.
Luise... bought some.
Of your sperm.
I dont think she knew,
but its true.
How could you?
- Do you know how many kids you have out there?
- Do you?
Dont get moral. Youve shared
your sperm for decades!
Show respect for your father!
My father? I moved here
to get to know my father!
Sadly I found a lonely, sad old man
who thinks time rewinds
if he screws young women.
Who gets up every morning,
looks at his body
only to concede that death
is one day closer.
Good. An honest moment
between father and son, eh?
As for Luise,
Im proud she chose me.
No one deserves to be happier.
Max?
Dont you want to come in?
I was just heading to the office...
I'm not sure its appropriate.
Im so sorry.
- Frans told you.
- Its not about Frans.
I just wanted to say
I think youre brave.
And Id be proud if you...
you know...
Does your father know youre here?
Were not talking to each other.
Ive got to go. Ill be late.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
I didnt expect you.
The whole citys full of posters
and I was curious.
And tomorrow Im moving away.
I wanted to say: I wont do it.
Even if I had, I wouldnt
have used Maxs donation.
Youve no reason to be angry
with him, just me.
Well survive.
- Of course.
- And what about you?
I saw a psychotherapist and
Im probably not crazy.
But perhaps I shouldve
left home 40 years earlier.
Well... My flight leaves
tomorrow and I have to pack
and have a thousand things to do
before I leave.
And Im so excited and
I talk too much when Im excited.
And... actually I wanted to say...
Im truly, deeply sorry
if I hurt you and your son.
Luise. The most beautiful woman...
Here... Thats you.
At least in this part of the room.
I present to you a thrilling moment...
and hope youre not disappointed.
Thank you.
I earned it.
He tore out six walls
and all the shelves.
- For 20 minutes of bird song.
- For better sound.
Im a total idiot.
I loved a man once.
I never told him.
I was only interested in pussy.
OK, good to know.
Frans? Frans?
Luise is going to do it.
- What?
- Shes fetching her eggs from the lab,
on the way to the airport.
Its true that deep inside
we never grow older than 18.
Do you have any porn?
Sorry, Im in a rush.
We're coming.
Now weve got her.
Ah, there she is.
No.
Wheres she gone?
Who drives this way to the airport?
Hi Mum. Hi Dad.
Here we are.
Me and your frozen grandkids.
Ah, Doris.
I miss you so much,
you crazy old bat.
You radiate this light.
Youre a troublemaker.
Youre a true revolutionary.
You make me see myself
with your eyes.
When youre here,
good things happen.
When everyone says
'Lower your expectations'
you ask: 'Why?'
What are you trying to tell me?
Just a few reasons
why I love you.
Saying it doesnt make it true.
Theyre just words.
I have something better:
sperm.
My sperm.
The idea you could do anything
without me, even buy shoes,
kills me.
So, in brief, or else
well miss our flight: Luise:
I want you to know
how it feels
to hold your own baby in your arms.
Our baby.
Ive never ever wanted anything
this much.
- Theres a problem.
- Naturally. As always.
I came here to bury my eggs.
But Im here now.
Now we can do it.
I cant do it.
- If you were younger...
- Me?
At least one of us.
I had my mother
over 60 years and...
that wasnt long enough.
And me?
You?
Frans...
All I ever wanted was
to hold someone in my arms
who I love and who loves me.
And I wanted that to be my baby.
But maybe a dogs enough.
Wait here.
I meant it.
I'd have liked to be
the father of your child.
Max would take care of it
if something happened.
Shit!
Translation by
Wyndham Wallace and Fabian Schmidt
alias film und sprachtransfer