Modern Love (2008) Movie Script
0
- Hello.
- Hello.
I need to talk to you.
There's nothing more to say.
You've got Maalox there.
Come back. Please, come back!
- I found someone else.
- Leave him.
- Didn't you leave me?
- Stop it!
Marie...
No!
When I look at you there,
pretty, clever, funny, sexy...
- How come you're with me?
- Can't you see?
You could have found someone
much better, who'd cook for you,
more attentive.
You're acting like a teenager,
dumping me gently.
No way!
Eric, stop!
You need someone tender
and attentive.
All I do is make you suffer.
I don't care. Make me suffer.
Okay. I'm fed up.
It's over. Get lost!
Happy, now?
I invested 1 year in this relation
thinking it'd work out.
If I'd learned Spanish,
I'd be bilingual.
We're not making each other happy,
Elsa. Let's be adults.
Talk about something you know!
- I've got the bad role.
- You're playing it well.
So well, that we'll call it a day.
Bye!
Slut! Bitch!
But why? Why?
Happy New Year!
Yes, great... Happy New Year!
What you sang earlier
was beautiful.
It was very romantic.
You women are all the same.
That's all you ever say!
"It's romantic!"
- All...
- What do you know about me?
You think you're the only one
having problems.
- You sing like a goat!
- Wasn't it nice?
I was being kind.
That was 3 years ago...
Young woman searching for Mr Right
Someone
For my days and nights
A heart one could count on.
A man who knows how to love
I dream of him tender and romantic
I imagine his electric look
That he protects me,
that I admire him
That even his flaws
make me laugh
But that man doesn't exist
Except in films
At dawn, goodbye love
Round and round and it's gone
Herv?
Sorry. I had to deal
with some last minute business...
To say sorry.
So I made up my mind
Herv would be part of my life
It's a nightmare!
Be brave!
Young man looking for his soul mate
His lover and best friend
Someone who would know me,
it's a must
A woman whom I could trust
I imagine her beautiful
and mischievous
I'll do anything
to make her happy
So that she opens me up
Inspires me
and reads her future in me
But that woman does not exist
She is only in movies
At dawn, goodbye love
Round and round and it's gone
Princesses and charming princes
Only live in romances
By dreaming we are in fairy tales
We end up never being loved
True love does not exist
It is only in movies
At dawn, goodbye love
Round and round and it's gone
Even from here,
I can see my name.
I should have taken a pen name.
How mad to have accepted the order.
If it's a success,
I'll stay the guy
who writes corny movies
for sad housewives.
I must be one of those,
because I found it really cute.
Don't be so dramatic.
Thanks to this,
you can write your own films.
We lie. We make believe
love is beautiful.
But it can be, can't it?
Yes.
Who's the best scriptwriter?
"The best",
that doesn't mean anything...
Well, okay, it's me.
I'll go and get us some champagne.
You're so sweet.
Marie?
How would you describe the film?
It's a love story.
The kind that doesn't exist nowadays.
Not really.
It's more than that: a love story,
the kind that doesn't exist nowadays.
The film-maker was demanding.
- I let my hair grow.
- And I got fat.
I'm working.
Hello?
Can you hear me?
I couldn't hear you.
No, I'm working. I have to hand in
my report tomorrow.
Still on for a movie on Thursday?
There's...
Really? What kind of dinner party?
I know you.
You want to pair me off
with one of Philippe's friends.
You always want to pair me off
with one of Philippe's friends.
It is true. I know you!
Yes... See you at boxing tomorrow?
Okay. See you tomorrow.
Yes. Good night.
- A hard sock!
- It stinks here!
Hi!
Elsa, this is Serge,
Philippe's trainee.
What? He was at the dinner
you didn't want to come to.
He was looking for a boxing club.
I told him to come.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- Let's go.
- Yes.
I asked the guy:
"Who's Ribry?"
The guy looked at me
as if I were mad.
If you don't like football,
it's a flaw! People are crazy!
What I like is a good film.
I love romantic films:
When Harry met Sally,
all that...
I like that, too.
- Really?
- Yes. And what else?
Hum? Well...
When Harry met Sally...
Nathalie... Hill.
Know what I mean?
Yes, really well.
Ouch!
- Ouch!
- It's there. You're tense. Relax.
- Is it because of Anne?
- No, it's because of the film.
She's always adorable.
I hate myself.
She totally overestimates me.
Want her to treat you like dirt?
Call Marie back.
I'm 10 years older than her.
She's only known colour TV.
- It won't last.
- Leave her.
But I like being with her.
Stop worrying so much!
Make the best of life.
- And Catherine?
- The hearing's in a month.
I'm glad she took the 1st step.
Breathe in!
Stop! Okay, now?
Don't move. There.
I'm a new man, now.
Swimming 3 times a week,
high-protein diet,
1 glass of wine at each meal,
Irina, 23, 36 D, enjoys it.
- Can I breathe now?
- Yes. Go ahead.
It's Anne's birthday tomorrow.
I have to get her something nice.
Do like Pretty Woman.
- "Pretty Womaaan"?
- No. Pretty Woman,
like Dustin Hoffman. You know?
Yes.
Come on!
"I hate football,
I adore love story films."
Okay, I briefed him.
You don't want a man but a photofit.
Everyone'd like to meet Mr Right
and have a magical life.
But, in real life,
prince charming pees around the pan.
That's life.
It's great to have the same tastes!
He wouldn't drive fast: wonderful!
You'd ban his PlayStation
and he'd love dancing...
That reduces the possibilities.
But why not?
But go slow on the garlic, huh!
If I'm to live him,
he has to be a garlic eater.
If that man only exists in movies,
too bad.
Ouch!
A fianc?
No.
So? What's the surprise?
First, sorry, I've not
really been cool lately.
Then, happy birthday.
You're Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman
and I'm Richard Gere.
I'm a prostitute and you pay me
to stay with you?
No. Not that part.
The shopping part.
Wow!
- I'm so happy!
- Calm down.
We've got lots of time.
- So? How do you like it?
- Very nice.
- It's not too dark?
- No.
Well... I don't know.
You know best...
Be brave! Only 12 left.
Sorry. Excuse me.
- Eric!
- Marie...
- How amazing!
- Well, yes. I... Okay?
Great! And you?
Congratulations!
- What for?
- For your film. I loved it.
I was even surprised
it was so positive.
It's much better than
your weird films. You've matured.
- You seem fine.
- You're still at the pharmacy?
Still there. Married. One cat.
Oh yeah? "A cat"?
Ah! There. Anne... Marie.
Marie, Anne.
- Nice to meet you.
- And you.
We're acting Pretty Woman.
The shopping part.
Happy, positive, attentive...
Very cute. Feminine.
- Is the dcollet too low?
- Not at all.
It's really nice.
- I'm going back in. See you.
- See you.
Pass by the pharmacy.
We could have a coffee or a Maalox,
like the good old days.
If you'd like to.
Yes. Why not?
I'm writing a new script,
but... Yes.
Okay. See you, then!
That's great!
It's my old pull over!
Come on. Let's go.
I'm fed up going to parties
where I don't know anyone.
I've got to hang up.
I'm meeting my new partner.
Bland and boring,
like all consultants.
Laure, I'll love and leave you.
I'll call you this evening.
- The place is yours.
- No worries.
Sugar!
- Sorry. Okay?
- Fine. See?
The camouflage look
is trendy this year. Perfect.
Nice to meet you.
- Jerome Losserand.
- Elsa Denis.
Strategic auditing?
Yes.
I'm your new partner
for the mission at Infolog.
- Great! Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you too.
I promise to be the least bland
and boring possible.
- It was just a joke...
- Naturally.
So... See you later.
It's really nice.
It suits your skin.
Actually,
it was the last one my size.
- I'll pay you back.
- No. It's fine.
May I ask you:
"How come you're an auditor?"
Attracted by boredom,
an irresistible need
to feel useless?
It's something temporary
that's lasting.
It pays well and I needed time
to find my vocation.
I still haven't found it.
And you?
I think it's great fun!
Go on, overtake me!
Great! Very manly!
Fancy some music?
The CDs are in the glove box.
How funny.
I wanted to go and see it.
I adore romantic films.
Young lady looking for her soul mate
Someone for my days and nights
A heart I could count on
A man who knows how to love
- It's pretty nice, here.
- It's not bad.
Oh, look!
Paris has lost again!
You're for Marseille?
No. I'd rather avoid the stadium
when there's a match on
and hire a good DVD.
I'm selling a PlayStation.
Are you interested?
Yes, definitely.
Are you a gamer?
I hate that stuff, but my sister
would like one for her son.
How much is it?
I...
Did you talk to Laure, by chance?
- Who?
- No, nothing.
- It's nice.
- It could do with more garlic.
That's enough.
Have you talked to Laure?
- No. Who's she?
- Oh, no!
She briefed you!
Even at my workplace!
I'm fed up with her!
It's me.
Guess who I'm with? Here.
- Say hello.
- Hello.
- Who's speaking?
- My new colleague.
Super. He loves romantic comedies,
garlic and hates football.
My ideal man! It's crazy!
You've nothing to do with it?
I'm... No, stop it!
I promise I've done nothing!
- Swear on your daughter's head!
- I swear.
Okay. I'll call you back, Laure.
Sorry. That was so silly
because you're not my style.
That's perfect.
We know where we stand.
Right.
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
I'll take the pink one.
- Have a good evening.
- Bye.
By the way, I'm having a party
at home next Saturday.
If you're free, please come.
Yes. Let me check and I'll...
Thanks. That's sweet of you.
Have a nice evening.
Hello. Please hold the line.
Modern Magazine.
Yes. Hello.
Marianne Lenoir. Mr Messine is
expecting me regarding a fresco.
- Mrs Lenoir, for Vincent.
- Miss.
A piece of advice, don't tell him.
Upstairs on the right.
Thank you.
- Hello, Ingrid.
- Hello.
You're still so pretty!
- Still so married too?
- I'm afraid so.
- What news?
- Your 9 am appointment has arrived.
- Who is it?
- Sasha van Terbingen,
George's niece.
For the cover?
- Is she cute?
- She's waiting in your office.
- The painter for the fresco...
- Must be cute.
Sasha, nice to meet you!
- There's a misunderstanding.
- Magazines don't talk!
- Yes, but no.
- "No", what?
No, thank you.
The breasts, buttocks: no good.
- I did tell your uncle.
- What does my uncle have to...
Yes, I know. Inner beauty,
charm... I agree.
It's not the French Academy, here.
You recruit
siliconed Barbie dolls?
- Sasha...
- I'm not Sasha!
Coming!
Nice to meet you.
- So you are...
- Gone.
Sorry. Let me apologise
by inviting you to dinner.
- It's a misunderstanding.
- I don't think so.
Your cheap kind of charm
must attract ambitious women,
but my artistic ambition
will not take a hold on my integrity
as an independent woman.
Now, goodbye.
I'm late.
Coming round tonight?
Yes. I'll call you later. As usual.
Work hard.
- Love you.
- Love you.
"I don't know how to love anymore.
I've suffered too much."
"Poverty, hunger..."
What shit!
We separated 4 months later.
He was always travelling.
I made myself look a fool in a bar
for a 4-month relationship?
I wanted to call you back.
I thought you'd be upset with me.
Not at all. My studio just caught
fire when I burnt your photos.
- And then?
- Just shitty relationships.
Same for me, for 3 or 4 hours.
Know what changed me? My therapy.
When I started,
it really saved me.
That's how I met my husband.
Let me guess.
A financial manager?
No. A psychoanalyst.
- You married your shrink?
- Yes.
Since you know
how to choose your partner,
what's Anne's job?
Actress?
Right away, the showbiz clich!
Not at all.
She's studying communications
and taking drama classes.
I'm sorry about the way
it ended for us.
I shouldn't have done that to you.
Let's forget it.
- I'm glad to have seen you again.
- Me too.
Maybe we could meet again,
for dinner?
My place is a mess, but...
Great! You'll meet Franois.
I've told him so much about you.
During your therapy?
Check with Anne
and let me know when you're free.
Okay. With Anne and Franois.
That's great!
- I'll check and I'll call you back.
- Bye.
Isn't it a bit mean,
a bottle for two?
It's okay!
- Who do you know?
- Only Jerome.
Oh no!
What a cheek! Remember all
those evenings you dragged me to!
- It's cute!
- It's moving.
I like it.
Those little candles are nice.
- Wait. How do I look?
- A little pale.
Hold this.
- Hello.
- Hi!
Hello.
- Okay?
- Fine, thanks.
- We brought a bottle of wine.
- From both of us.
Thanks. Come in.
- I looked like a fool!
- Of course not.
You're wearing your push-up!
All's well.
Come on. It's show time!
- Metropolitan.
- I love it!
- Really?
- You too.
Kim, a friend... Elsa, a colleague.
- Hello.
- And...? Sorry?
- Laure.
- Laure...
- Cheers!
- Cheers!
Chin-chin!
Sorry. It was... It was...
Elsa knows to highlight
any embarrassing situation.
Good job!
Shall we dance?
- You're a friend of Jerome's?
- We've known each other for 5 years.
He was my brother's friend
for 2 years.
Really!
- And Elsa and you?
- It's been 10 years.
Elsa and I are friends.
Well, I mean... I'm married.
I hope he knows how lucky he is.
- There you are!
- It's hot, here.
- Okay?
- Yes. Kim's nice.
- And you, with Mr Right?
- Great!
Noticed anything?
- You didn't introduce me to him.
- What do you mean?
Nothing. I know better than you
what's good for me.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- You're right. I'm sorry.
- This is great. I'm off.
Have fun.
My favourite joke...
I'm drunk so I can be foolish.
2 little asses
are on a beach... Wait.
One stands up and says:
"I'm going to swim. Coming?"
And the other answers...
No. Huh, no?
Well. I'm sorry.
- I'd better go. I'm out.
- Okay.
- Kim will take me back.
- Great!
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
- You'll call me?
- Yes.
Frankly, you make me laugh!
Really!
You're funny, smart,
you dance well...
He's got it all...
You're single?
- Just like you, yes.
- Wait on. You're kidding.
How come no one's grabbed you?
You're a homo!
No. Really, he's a homo?
You're...
It's a bit hot in here, huh?
Life is full of surprises.
Okay?
Listen, I'm really sorry.
It doesn't matter.
You could have told me.
You didn't say you were hetero.
You could have given me a hint.
My phone ring is YMCA.
I didn't hear.
YMCA
is my phone... It's not funny.
I'm sorry, Elsa.
I didn't want to embarrass you.
Don't worry.
I do it very well all by myself.
I'm off.
In any case, it's late...
Shall we go see a film,
next weekend?
Check your diary
and let me know.
Okay?
- I'll be off.
- I'll show you the way.
- I love olives.
- I prefer tomatoes.
You hang up first. No, you.
Okay. Together.
1, 2, 3...
Hello?
Sorry! Are you okay?
Yes. It's me again.
Mind if I hang up first?
Thanks. Yes. Love to you.
No. I have to go
to the gallery, now.
No, I've not sold a thing.
Yes, well, I hope so.
Come and pick me up round 8?
Yes? Fine.
Have a good board meeting.
Executive board meeting, I mean.
What?
Yes, me too.
Okay. Listen... Okay.
See you later.
- What happened?
- I was going to call you, darling.
A client bought everything.
Who's the crazy guy?
- Guess.
- It's not funny.
Guess!
- Herv?
- No. He's handsome and rich.
He was wearing a superb
slim fitting suit. So?
He wants a fresco.
Marianne!
Isn't that great!
Hey!
- Why did you do that?
- What a nice surprise!
Why did you buy
all my paintings?
I must decorate the hall.
Since when have you been interested
in decomposition?
The blues and greys?
I knew there was something.
I'm dying to...
A rush of negative energy!
Have you already tried a sabre?
I used to fence.
If you win, I'll give you back
your paintings
and you won't ever see me again.
It's tempting. Perfect.
You start!
Aggressive! I love it.
- What was your level?
- French junior champion.
Not bad.
I now understand your inspiration
for the Marais exhibit!
What?
How do you know?
That was 10 years ago.
I bought a drawing.
Hey! Come back here!
Say we're equals?
So, you agree?
- To what?
- My fresco.
- Do you ever take a no?
- Do you sometimes say yes?
In any case, it's a nice decor.
The boxes, here,
and the others, there. Good.
I've just moved in. 2 years ago.
Some Bergerac?
You've got a painting of Marie?
Yes. You notice everything.
Correct!
Super. I look like a fool
when I'm upset?
That's what makes you cute.
Exactly.
The body shows emotions.
Those faces are typical of
a strong tendency to interiorize.
Let go of your negative feelings.
Now it's clear you're pissed off.
No. It's very interesting,
the body and its emotions.
- Bread?
- No.
Come on!
Say it. Don't keep it to yourself.
I'm not pissed off. It's...
You did it!
- You did it!
- You did it!
Can we change topics?
You're all pissing me off.
Right?
It's true.
I feel better.
- There.
- Yes.
We'll taste your liquor.
Is it home-made?
Franois' family,
Grandpa's famous prune liquor.
- Be careful, it's strong.
- Cheers!
And long live Grandpa!
He's dead.
Sorry.
Right, here goes.
Eric, Anne, well...
We've got a favour to ask you.
It's quite unusual
but we've thought about it
a lot.
We've been trying to have a child
for 2 years.
We've done tests and...
I'm at fault. My spermatozoids
are not swift enough.
Shit! Sorry. Go ahead.
We can only opt for adoption
or anonymous donation.
I want to bear my child
and I don't want
an unknown donor.
When I met you again,
I thought it was a sign.
Eric...
Would you agree to be
the father of our baby?
- Sorry?
- The biological father.
We just want your sperm.
- I confirm. It's really unusual.
- It's a joke.
No. Except for your somatisation
and your anxiety attacks,
you're in good health.
I know you. I like you.
You're the perfect choice.
How shall I put it?
You're completely nuts.
Eric, you wanted to be
the father of my children.
That's not it.
We can't have a kid just like that!
Girl or boy, no matter.
In a perfect world,
daddy loves mummy very much
and plants a grain.
But we can't.
So what should we do?
That's just it. How?
If I'm to be with a stack
of Playboy magazines,
with my little bottle, no way.
I imagined something
much more simple.
Just the 2 of us.
Something more mechanical,
with no feelings.
You'd masturbate
and penetrate her to ejaculate.
It sounded weird
but looking at things that way...
- Sure you don't mind?
- No.
It's my gift to Marie.
She's giving me the gift of life.
Sorry to put a damper
on the evening.
For your information,
I ovulate around the 12th.
- You should empty your boxes.
- I'll do it.
"I'll do it"!
- What did you want me to say?
- No, for instance.
Did you see how they were?
I wanted them to think
we'd think about it.
You want to think about it?
It's you I love. Marie's old stuff,
she's a good friend.
Okay?
You're the one I love.
- I should hit you.
- Really! Hit me then!
- A glass of champagne?
- Yes, please.
So, do you like it?
It's great! Very romantic.
What's the idea?
Many would have ideas
looking at you.
It only took me 2 seconds
to get ready.
You're not bad either.
So, what do you suggest?
I'm badly parked.
I wanted to give you a kiss.
What?
You're here?
Well, well! What a surprise!
Okay? I was passing by.
I thought I'd...
Don't believe me, huh?
Enjoy your dinner together,
and I'll explain to you, Elsa...
I'll call you tomorrow. Okay?
Kisses.
What happened there?
She could have told me.
What's happening is quite something.
Maybe she was scared
of telling you.
Sometimes things happen,
without warning.
Yes...
I've never been tempted by
another woman.
And you?
- It happened to me.
- Really?
You mean that... Well...
And...?
That's all.
Well, did you... No? I mean...
It was very nice,
and then it ended.
Like all stories.
Cinderella,
just before midnight!
It's funny. It reminds when...
It's really a silly thing.
Go ahead, tell me.
At my grandmother's,
in the garden,
I would catch frogs
and would kiss them
so that they'd become princes.
And did it work?
I don't know. Where you a toad?
Want to come in?
No, I've got an early start tomorrow.
See you tomorrow.
You too.
I mean, see you tomorrow.
- Oh! You scared me.
- It's beautiful.
It's not finished yet.
I thought everyone had left.
I do work sometimes.
How long have you been watching?
Since the blue line, there.
This one?
You've not had dinner?
No. But I have to go home.
Something simple and light then.
You call this "simple"?
"Simple and light": their souffl
is absolutely fabulous. Come on.
Hello, Mr Messine. Madam.
I reserved the royal salon
as requested.
Wonderful, Andr! Thank you.
But I look like a tramp!
Why didn't I think of that?
Christiane,
take care of this lady.
This way, please.
It's totally...
"Totally."
Voucher for another
mad night of love. Sasha
I feel so foolish.
You're beautiful.
That's thanks to the dress.
I can't accept it.
What can I say?
Don't say a thing. You're...
Compliments give me rash.
Really.
You're horrible. I'm ashamed of you.
Is that better?
Perfect.
And...
Thank you.
Herv deals with fusions
in the chemical business.
I know what you're thinking:
"ordinary, boring, bland."
Am I wrong?
I'm joking.
I don't stop at looks.
"The breasts,
the buttocks, the mouth..."
I'm guilty, your Honour.
You also pigeonholed me
when we first met.
But I wasn't wrong.
You're as superficial as me.
You're more and more my style.
You think so?
If the colour of my eyes is enough
To know what I love
To know whom I am
If reading Modern was enough
To understand all about girls
If you think you've summed it all up
when I talk about Herv
About my watercolour classes
If only looks count
we won't get along
I'm afraid
I can't dance with you
Don't get me wrong
I'm not the one you think
If you judge me by my gold watch
My sports car
to understand who I am
Or if you think
the suit makes the man
And the cover makes the book
If you think that at first sight
One could guess my love stories
and imagine my nights
If you stick to looks
We won't get along
I won't dance with you
Don't get me wrong
I'm not the one you think I am
Don't get me wrong
They think we're not made
for each other
That we are 2 fools
on the dance floor
Let them say what they want
All they see is lead
Whereas I can see gold
And this kiss
That will prove to them
they're wrong
- Don't touch it. What do you say?
- It's not bad.
What? "Not bad"?
Are you kidding?
The Maoris believe it's a symbol
of authority and virility.
- It's permanent, you know.
- Less than a child!
It's no criticism.
The love of your life wants you
to sleep with her.
- Even to procreate, go ahead.
- I can't do that to Anne.
And it's completely crazy.
My parents spent 50 years together
and never loved each other.
This is crazy!
But you never knew them!
That's not the point.
You wanted Marie to come back?
That she comes back, that we get
along and have lots of children...
she, my sperm
and her impotent husband.
- I don't know what to do.
- Of course you do.
It's me. Am I disturbing you?
I've thought about it.
I agree.
My shoulder's painful.
I must have hurt it.
You vacuum-cleaned, right?
It's nice here.
Find it on the Internet?
You say I never take time to see you
during the day, so here I am.
I appreciate it.
I'm sorry I didn't trust you.
I'm pathetic.
No, not at all.
- I spotted a...
- Just imagining
you would think about it
was unbearable.
Of course, I understand.
Sole meunire is nice.
It's fish. It's nice.
- Did you call Marie?
- Yes. So what do you want?
How did she take it?
She took it...
- You said yes?
- No, I didn't.
- So you said no?
- No.
Well... I haven't called her.
Not yet. It's complicated
between Marie and me.
Not like you and me.
Everything's cool between us.
- But Marie, it's hard...
- Don't worry, Eric.
You still love her.
It's obvious.
It doesn't matter.
- Bye.
- Wait. Don't leave like that.
What do mean, "like that"?
Without an explanation, a row,
without you calling me a bastard...
Do what you want to.
We don't choose our feelings.
I didn't choose to love you,
but that's how it is.
I feel I'm alive again. At last!
- Will you tell Philippe?
- If it lasts, yes.
It's so unexpected.
Still buddy-buddy with Ziggy?
It's okay! I won't sing
A woman with a woman!
It's still buddy-buddy,
but it's okay.
A ride in the forest
and we'll forget it all?
Yes.
Let's go.
I have to open the restaurant.
- Bye, honey.
- Bye!
- Take care.
- Yes.
- You'll call me?
- Yes.
- Ciao.
- Bye!
Right,
let's go to the lake and back.
What are you doing?
I think
I'm falling in love with you.
Can you say that again?
I love you.
- You're not a homo anymore?
- I am... Well, no... I...
The other evening
when I watched you go home,
it was as if a part of me
was being ripped off.
You're saying you're physically
attracted to me?
- You weren't sleeping?
- I was watching you.
I was snoring.
You were purring.
I smell like a dead pony.
I love animals.
- Jerome, I must...
- I did what I could.
I'm going on business to Rome
in 2 weeks. Coming with me?
I'd love to. Let me check.
Listen, I've thought about it and...
I spent a wonderful
evening and night.
If you think we shouldn't...
It's okay, right?
Oh... Why do you think I'm here?
I'm here
because I feel good with you.
I feel it's where I should be.
- Okay?
- Okay.
It's like a rainbow
in the middle of the night
Like the sun and a blue sky
in Normandy
Like a western without Indians
Like a granny without a dog
It's exceptional,
yet there's you and me
It's like earning a living
at the casino
Like a soldier with a water gun
Like a Parisian without a mobile
A gentle waiter
It's exceptional
Yet there's you and me
Unique
Our two hearts together
If we only knew
- It's him
- Or it's her
Who will change my life
No one's ever known
such a love story
Without a tear
and without any mishap
Nor will the past come back
Nor will a happy woman grow old
But to grow old with you
I'd love to experience that
Here. Something hot...
That's kind.
- Madam...
- Morning.
Gentlemen.
I booked a room
in the name of Mricourt.
- Exactly. The nuptial suite.
- The rest was booked up.
We have other rooms.
No. That will be fine.
An extra bed?
No. There's no need.
- Morning.
- Morning. A tea, please.
Sure.
Welcome, Mr Mricourt,
have an enjoyable stay.
- Where does he find his books?
- It's so class!
- I'll take the sitting room?
- Okay.
- We've already been naked before.
- Absolutely.
So, well...
You've got a tattoo?
Yes. It's been a while now.
To please a girlfriend.
The Maoris believe it's a symbol
of authority and virility.
- You're hurt?
- No. That's how it is.
Ouch! Don't touch!
It gives you a wild side.
It's a bit scary.
Another one. No... A whisky!
- Okay?
- Oh yes!
- And you?
- Okay.
It's not appropriate
to say this, but...
It was... It was really...
Really... like before.
Yes.
We must call Franois.
Oh yes. Let's call Franois.
Sir, you can go up.
- How did it go?
- Very well.
- Want something? Water?
- I'll be off.
I'm going.
I'll call you. Thanks.
- Really.
- Yes. Thanks.
My pleasure.
Hope it wasn't only mine.
I'm joking.
See you soon.
See you later I love you
That's not bad, huh!
Okay. Come on.
Jerome?
I can't believe it!
- Hello!
- What are you doing here?
I'm blocking the table.
Why aren't you at your parent's?
It was an excuse.
I wanted to prepare a surprise dinner
for you. You too?
What did you make?
Nothing much.
Salmon coated with maple syrup,
ginger compote
and courgette gratin.
We can warm it up tomorrow.
I'm sorry.
I just wanted to please you,
as I'm leaving soon.
I spoiled it all.
Of course not!
It's not spoiled.
It's like in my dreams.
- Am I intruding?
- No, not at all. I...
I know. It's nonsense.
Kick me out. I'll understand.
Ouch! It's nonsense! It's...
Now, if she's not expecting,
I can't do better.
Bravo. You're the lover
of your ex!
Adultery's doing you good.
You're as supple as an octopus.
Come on, it's okay.
I now understand what you meant:
"Make the best of life,
don't worry."
How's things with Irina?
It's over.
Too tiring.
Stinking of chlorine
and getting my prick pierced to shag,
forget it.
It was her gift for my birthday.
Tattoos are enough.
Since the divorce's been cancelled...
- What do you mean?
- It's not happening.
I bumped into Catherine
at the shop.
I mistook the softener for
washing soap. It made her laugh.
- We had lunch together, so there!
- I'm dumbfounded!
That's it. Catherine and I,
we know each other...
Marriage is the only real thing.
Alright. Okay.
You didn't fancy
those studded briefs?
Okay. Next shop...
- Feel like stopping?
- Stop shopping?
I never thought I'd say it one day,
but I want to go home.
Will you run my bath for me?
Elsa?
- Victor!
- That's incredible!
- Okay?
- Yes.
Jerome, Victor.
- Leonore, Elsa.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- And you.
You're beautiful!
- It must be love.
- Certainly.
We could have a drink.
You've not changed numbers?
- No.
- I'll call you.
- Great.
- Super. Bye.
- Bye!
- Bye!
- That was Victor.
- Yes. Yes...
Let me deal with this.
Dear friend, we agree.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Herv?
Marianne,
will you marry me?
But... You've caught me off guard.
I...
I'll call you back.
I love you.
Not for a couple of days or weeks,
but for life.
It's sudden,
but I wanted you to know
that whatever might happen,
for better or for worse,
I'll always be there for you.
I'll give you time to think.
I love you.
Ladies, gentlemen, friends,
good evening.
Modern Magazine
is proud to be associated
with the talent
of a future major artist,
Marianne Lenoir.
- Thank you.
- I must thank you.
Let me introduce a friend
who has a nice gallery.
Herv wants to marry me.
Oh...
I haven't said yes yet.
As for me...
Sasha's uncle wants me to manage
a press group in New York.
- I've not yet accepted.
- Oh...
It's a great opportunity.
Yes.
Herv seems a nice guy.
- I don't know what to say.
- Write it down.
- I don't have paper.
- Sign language?
It's too complicated.
Yes. "It's too complicated."
I thought we were made
For each other
I imagined a perfect life
Then destiny got in the way
And now
It reminds us
That love has been written
By a cruel hand
The writer of our lives
Was dumped 2 weeks ago
We're paying
For his sad heartache
Even the most beautiful
love stories
Vanish
Although our paths
Are separating
I'll always think of you
Every evening
I'm off.
I'll call you when I'm there.
Safe journey.
Call when you get there.
Hello.
This is from Mr Losserand.
Thank you. Goodbye.
Love is wonderful.
- Hello. From...
- Thank you.
- Hello?
- Elsa? Victor speaking.
- Alright?
- Yes.
Fancy having a drink,
this evening?
- What's wrong?
- He's left.
I'm bad. I'm only good
at hurting others.
You can't deny it.
You listen to your heart.
It's not your fault.
I don't deserve him.
Yes, you do...
But that's not the point.
I'm here, don't worry.
I'm with you.
I'll always be there.
And...
Maybe there's a baby, somewhere.
- Going to kiss me?
- Yes.
- Take me in your arms?
- Yes.
- Going to love me?
- Yes, but the table's between us.
Oh! Dammit!
Slept well?
I know what you'll say.
- How stupid I am!
- There!
This can't be true!
See you soon? Call me?
- Don't you want any croissants?
- I'm fine. Thanks.
- Hello.
- Hello.
It's already here.
- Ground floor?
- Yes. Thanks.
A quick call before boarding.
I'll pick you up at 8 pm,
as planned. Big kiss.
Thanks.
So? Nice, isn't it?
You're crazy!
Why did you do this?
I feel good. I think we'd make
a nice couple in a film.
You think it's rubbish, huh?
It's great. Everything you do
is great. I'm no good.
Don't say that.
You're a terrific girl.
No. I'm far from being terrific.
I don't deserve all this.
It's not about deserving.
Everything's fine.
I love you.
You know... I wasn't with Laure
the other day.
I was with a fool. Well...
I was with Victor.
That's just me.
That's the kind of person I am.
Do you still love him or...?
To hell with Victor.
To hell with him.
It's...
All that you do,
I've dreamt of it.
It's just that I don't feel
what I expected to feel.
The flowers, the notes,
dinners out...
Maybe it's too perfect.
I'm not trying to be perfect.
I am what I am.
I can make an effort:
I can pee on the toilet seat,
buy a PlayStation...
No, that's not it. It's...
You're my Mr Right.
But you're not my man.
Drinks?
- No, thank you.
- Alright.
You leave first, okay?
I'll cover for you.
- I'm sorry.
- So am I.
- Something wrong?
- No. It's great.
Maybe we could go away
for the weekend,
for a change of scenery?
You're going through a hard time,
but it will all be okay.
No. We've already shagged.
Don't worry, I'm not here
to make any hot declaration
or to undo things.
I just wanted to apologise,
I apologise
for the horrible things I said.
I wanted to hurt you.
It's not very gentlemanly. Sorry.
You've made up your mind.
I respect it and will do accordingly,
not to punish you
but to protect myself.
I know that Eric
is someone nice who'll take care
of you and your baby.
Good luck, Marie.
- There won't be a baby.
- What? Why? You mean...?
Never mind, Marie.
We can try again.
Marie...
I'm sorry.
- No!
- Yes.
Please, don't do that.
- No. I love you, Marie.
- It's not a good idea.
I've only loved you.
I told you.
All I'll do is hurt you.
You don't deserve that.
I love you!
When I loved you,
it was for real.
Marie, there wasn't a single second
in all these years
that I didn't think of you.
- We're made for each other.
- No.
I'm sorry.
Forgive me.
But...
we can't have met up by chance!
You were talking about signs!
Marie...
You're a damn fool
You have no messages.
Nothing. Zero. Nada.
Bitch bitch
bloody fool bloody fool
I said I wanted to be alone tonight.
No. I won't feel down.
I might go to the cinema.
Yes.
Yes. I'm sure it's great,
but no thanks.
I don't feel like coming
to the Crazy Horse, now.
You're my buddy, too.
Okay, kiss Catherine for me.
Hey!
Hey! The bugger!
If we were in a film
It would be the last scene
When I say:
"You're the only one I love"
I quietly listen to you
In the last sequence
I'd fall in your arms
The audience would applaud
If it were a film
I wouldn't be afraid anymore
To play the same scene
over and over again
We'd be on the big screen
Under the eyes of the viewers
Like two budding actors
Slowly
We'd glide
Like on a rolling carpet
If we were in a film
Our nights would be in colour
It would be great and magnificent
Drowned in a shower of flowers
If we were in a film
If we were at the movies
- If our life was a film
- I'd say:
"You're the only one I love"
The end
Watch out!
Thanks.
- Happy New Year!
- Happy New Year!
Excuse me, I know
it sounds like a bad chat-up line,
but haven't we met before?
I don't think so.
No, you're right.
- Happy New Year!
- Happy New Year, yes.
Now that you mention it, I...
The Corfu club Med.
No, it wasn't me.
- You do boxing?
- No.
We'll never know.
Let's just raise our glasses.
- That reminds me of something.
- Me too...
The ballbreaker!
The loser on New Year's eve!
To chance, then.
And to those who believe!
3, 2, 1... Happy New Year!
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year
to Florence
That's all for today.
It's out on the streets
It's the trend
A famous melody
That we can hear
It's out on the streets
among all the looks
It's in the hands of chance
It comes and goes,
often without warning
It embraces us sooner or later
The one and only song that links us
Winds that push us
towards different lives
We meet and we elude each other
Captured in this endless dance
The one and only song that we hum
That carries us away
and consoles us
When we don't count for anyone
It catches us offhand
Throughout the town
Lovers are searching for each other
without knowing
That poor souls always meet up
Unintentionally
The one and only song that links us
Winds that push us
towards different lives
We meet and we elude each other
Captured in this endless dance
The one and only song that we hum
That carries us away
and consoles one
When we don't count for anyone
It takes us offhand
The one and only song that links us
Winds that push us
towards different lives
We meet and we elude each other
Captured in this endless dance
The one and only song that we hum
That carries us away
and consoles one
When we don't count for anyone
It takes us offhand
Throughout the town
Lovers are searching for each other
without knowing
That poor souls always meet up
Unintentionally
The one and only song that links us
Winds that push us
towards different lives
We meet and we elude each other
Captured in this endless dance
The one and only song we hum
That carries us away
and consoles us
When we don't count for anyone
It takes us offhand
The one and only song that links us
Winds that push us
towards different lives
We meet and we elude each other
Captured in this everlasting dance
The one and only song we hum
That carries us away
and consoles us
When we don't count for anyone
It takes us offhand
- Hello.
- Hello.
I need to talk to you.
There's nothing more to say.
You've got Maalox there.
Come back. Please, come back!
- I found someone else.
- Leave him.
- Didn't you leave me?
- Stop it!
Marie...
No!
When I look at you there,
pretty, clever, funny, sexy...
- How come you're with me?
- Can't you see?
You could have found someone
much better, who'd cook for you,
more attentive.
You're acting like a teenager,
dumping me gently.
No way!
Eric, stop!
You need someone tender
and attentive.
All I do is make you suffer.
I don't care. Make me suffer.
Okay. I'm fed up.
It's over. Get lost!
Happy, now?
I invested 1 year in this relation
thinking it'd work out.
If I'd learned Spanish,
I'd be bilingual.
We're not making each other happy,
Elsa. Let's be adults.
Talk about something you know!
- I've got the bad role.
- You're playing it well.
So well, that we'll call it a day.
Bye!
Slut! Bitch!
But why? Why?
Happy New Year!
Yes, great... Happy New Year!
What you sang earlier
was beautiful.
It was very romantic.
You women are all the same.
That's all you ever say!
"It's romantic!"
- All...
- What do you know about me?
You think you're the only one
having problems.
- You sing like a goat!
- Wasn't it nice?
I was being kind.
That was 3 years ago...
Young woman searching for Mr Right
Someone
For my days and nights
A heart one could count on.
A man who knows how to love
I dream of him tender and romantic
I imagine his electric look
That he protects me,
that I admire him
That even his flaws
make me laugh
But that man doesn't exist
Except in films
At dawn, goodbye love
Round and round and it's gone
Herv?
Sorry. I had to deal
with some last minute business...
To say sorry.
So I made up my mind
Herv would be part of my life
It's a nightmare!
Be brave!
Young man looking for his soul mate
His lover and best friend
Someone who would know me,
it's a must
A woman whom I could trust
I imagine her beautiful
and mischievous
I'll do anything
to make her happy
So that she opens me up
Inspires me
and reads her future in me
But that woman does not exist
She is only in movies
At dawn, goodbye love
Round and round and it's gone
Princesses and charming princes
Only live in romances
By dreaming we are in fairy tales
We end up never being loved
True love does not exist
It is only in movies
At dawn, goodbye love
Round and round and it's gone
Even from here,
I can see my name.
I should have taken a pen name.
How mad to have accepted the order.
If it's a success,
I'll stay the guy
who writes corny movies
for sad housewives.
I must be one of those,
because I found it really cute.
Don't be so dramatic.
Thanks to this,
you can write your own films.
We lie. We make believe
love is beautiful.
But it can be, can't it?
Yes.
Who's the best scriptwriter?
"The best",
that doesn't mean anything...
Well, okay, it's me.
I'll go and get us some champagne.
You're so sweet.
Marie?
How would you describe the film?
It's a love story.
The kind that doesn't exist nowadays.
Not really.
It's more than that: a love story,
the kind that doesn't exist nowadays.
The film-maker was demanding.
- I let my hair grow.
- And I got fat.
I'm working.
Hello?
Can you hear me?
I couldn't hear you.
No, I'm working. I have to hand in
my report tomorrow.
Still on for a movie on Thursday?
There's...
Really? What kind of dinner party?
I know you.
You want to pair me off
with one of Philippe's friends.
You always want to pair me off
with one of Philippe's friends.
It is true. I know you!
Yes... See you at boxing tomorrow?
Okay. See you tomorrow.
Yes. Good night.
- A hard sock!
- It stinks here!
Hi!
Elsa, this is Serge,
Philippe's trainee.
What? He was at the dinner
you didn't want to come to.
He was looking for a boxing club.
I told him to come.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- Let's go.
- Yes.
I asked the guy:
"Who's Ribry?"
The guy looked at me
as if I were mad.
If you don't like football,
it's a flaw! People are crazy!
What I like is a good film.
I love romantic films:
When Harry met Sally,
all that...
I like that, too.
- Really?
- Yes. And what else?
Hum? Well...
When Harry met Sally...
Nathalie... Hill.
Know what I mean?
Yes, really well.
Ouch!
- Ouch!
- It's there. You're tense. Relax.
- Is it because of Anne?
- No, it's because of the film.
She's always adorable.
I hate myself.
She totally overestimates me.
Want her to treat you like dirt?
Call Marie back.
I'm 10 years older than her.
She's only known colour TV.
- It won't last.
- Leave her.
But I like being with her.
Stop worrying so much!
Make the best of life.
- And Catherine?
- The hearing's in a month.
I'm glad she took the 1st step.
Breathe in!
Stop! Okay, now?
Don't move. There.
I'm a new man, now.
Swimming 3 times a week,
high-protein diet,
1 glass of wine at each meal,
Irina, 23, 36 D, enjoys it.
- Can I breathe now?
- Yes. Go ahead.
It's Anne's birthday tomorrow.
I have to get her something nice.
Do like Pretty Woman.
- "Pretty Womaaan"?
- No. Pretty Woman,
like Dustin Hoffman. You know?
Yes.
Come on!
"I hate football,
I adore love story films."
Okay, I briefed him.
You don't want a man but a photofit.
Everyone'd like to meet Mr Right
and have a magical life.
But, in real life,
prince charming pees around the pan.
That's life.
It's great to have the same tastes!
He wouldn't drive fast: wonderful!
You'd ban his PlayStation
and he'd love dancing...
That reduces the possibilities.
But why not?
But go slow on the garlic, huh!
If I'm to live him,
he has to be a garlic eater.
If that man only exists in movies,
too bad.
Ouch!
A fianc?
No.
So? What's the surprise?
First, sorry, I've not
really been cool lately.
Then, happy birthday.
You're Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman
and I'm Richard Gere.
I'm a prostitute and you pay me
to stay with you?
No. Not that part.
The shopping part.
Wow!
- I'm so happy!
- Calm down.
We've got lots of time.
- So? How do you like it?
- Very nice.
- It's not too dark?
- No.
Well... I don't know.
You know best...
Be brave! Only 12 left.
Sorry. Excuse me.
- Eric!
- Marie...
- How amazing!
- Well, yes. I... Okay?
Great! And you?
Congratulations!
- What for?
- For your film. I loved it.
I was even surprised
it was so positive.
It's much better than
your weird films. You've matured.
- You seem fine.
- You're still at the pharmacy?
Still there. Married. One cat.
Oh yeah? "A cat"?
Ah! There. Anne... Marie.
Marie, Anne.
- Nice to meet you.
- And you.
We're acting Pretty Woman.
The shopping part.
Happy, positive, attentive...
Very cute. Feminine.
- Is the dcollet too low?
- Not at all.
It's really nice.
- I'm going back in. See you.
- See you.
Pass by the pharmacy.
We could have a coffee or a Maalox,
like the good old days.
If you'd like to.
Yes. Why not?
I'm writing a new script,
but... Yes.
Okay. See you, then!
That's great!
It's my old pull over!
Come on. Let's go.
I'm fed up going to parties
where I don't know anyone.
I've got to hang up.
I'm meeting my new partner.
Bland and boring,
like all consultants.
Laure, I'll love and leave you.
I'll call you this evening.
- The place is yours.
- No worries.
Sugar!
- Sorry. Okay?
- Fine. See?
The camouflage look
is trendy this year. Perfect.
Nice to meet you.
- Jerome Losserand.
- Elsa Denis.
Strategic auditing?
Yes.
I'm your new partner
for the mission at Infolog.
- Great! Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you too.
I promise to be the least bland
and boring possible.
- It was just a joke...
- Naturally.
So... See you later.
It's really nice.
It suits your skin.
Actually,
it was the last one my size.
- I'll pay you back.
- No. It's fine.
May I ask you:
"How come you're an auditor?"
Attracted by boredom,
an irresistible need
to feel useless?
It's something temporary
that's lasting.
It pays well and I needed time
to find my vocation.
I still haven't found it.
And you?
I think it's great fun!
Go on, overtake me!
Great! Very manly!
Fancy some music?
The CDs are in the glove box.
How funny.
I wanted to go and see it.
I adore romantic films.
Young lady looking for her soul mate
Someone for my days and nights
A heart I could count on
A man who knows how to love
- It's pretty nice, here.
- It's not bad.
Oh, look!
Paris has lost again!
You're for Marseille?
No. I'd rather avoid the stadium
when there's a match on
and hire a good DVD.
I'm selling a PlayStation.
Are you interested?
Yes, definitely.
Are you a gamer?
I hate that stuff, but my sister
would like one for her son.
How much is it?
I...
Did you talk to Laure, by chance?
- Who?
- No, nothing.
- It's nice.
- It could do with more garlic.
That's enough.
Have you talked to Laure?
- No. Who's she?
- Oh, no!
She briefed you!
Even at my workplace!
I'm fed up with her!
It's me.
Guess who I'm with? Here.
- Say hello.
- Hello.
- Who's speaking?
- My new colleague.
Super. He loves romantic comedies,
garlic and hates football.
My ideal man! It's crazy!
You've nothing to do with it?
I'm... No, stop it!
I promise I've done nothing!
- Swear on your daughter's head!
- I swear.
Okay. I'll call you back, Laure.
Sorry. That was so silly
because you're not my style.
That's perfect.
We know where we stand.
Right.
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
I'll take the pink one.
- Have a good evening.
- Bye.
By the way, I'm having a party
at home next Saturday.
If you're free, please come.
Yes. Let me check and I'll...
Thanks. That's sweet of you.
Have a nice evening.
Hello. Please hold the line.
Modern Magazine.
Yes. Hello.
Marianne Lenoir. Mr Messine is
expecting me regarding a fresco.
- Mrs Lenoir, for Vincent.
- Miss.
A piece of advice, don't tell him.
Upstairs on the right.
Thank you.
- Hello, Ingrid.
- Hello.
You're still so pretty!
- Still so married too?
- I'm afraid so.
- What news?
- Your 9 am appointment has arrived.
- Who is it?
- Sasha van Terbingen,
George's niece.
For the cover?
- Is she cute?
- She's waiting in your office.
- The painter for the fresco...
- Must be cute.
Sasha, nice to meet you!
- There's a misunderstanding.
- Magazines don't talk!
- Yes, but no.
- "No", what?
No, thank you.
The breasts, buttocks: no good.
- I did tell your uncle.
- What does my uncle have to...
Yes, I know. Inner beauty,
charm... I agree.
It's not the French Academy, here.
You recruit
siliconed Barbie dolls?
- Sasha...
- I'm not Sasha!
Coming!
Nice to meet you.
- So you are...
- Gone.
Sorry. Let me apologise
by inviting you to dinner.
- It's a misunderstanding.
- I don't think so.
Your cheap kind of charm
must attract ambitious women,
but my artistic ambition
will not take a hold on my integrity
as an independent woman.
Now, goodbye.
I'm late.
Coming round tonight?
Yes. I'll call you later. As usual.
Work hard.
- Love you.
- Love you.
"I don't know how to love anymore.
I've suffered too much."
"Poverty, hunger..."
What shit!
We separated 4 months later.
He was always travelling.
I made myself look a fool in a bar
for a 4-month relationship?
I wanted to call you back.
I thought you'd be upset with me.
Not at all. My studio just caught
fire when I burnt your photos.
- And then?
- Just shitty relationships.
Same for me, for 3 or 4 hours.
Know what changed me? My therapy.
When I started,
it really saved me.
That's how I met my husband.
Let me guess.
A financial manager?
No. A psychoanalyst.
- You married your shrink?
- Yes.
Since you know
how to choose your partner,
what's Anne's job?
Actress?
Right away, the showbiz clich!
Not at all.
She's studying communications
and taking drama classes.
I'm sorry about the way
it ended for us.
I shouldn't have done that to you.
Let's forget it.
- I'm glad to have seen you again.
- Me too.
Maybe we could meet again,
for dinner?
My place is a mess, but...
Great! You'll meet Franois.
I've told him so much about you.
During your therapy?
Check with Anne
and let me know when you're free.
Okay. With Anne and Franois.
That's great!
- I'll check and I'll call you back.
- Bye.
Isn't it a bit mean,
a bottle for two?
It's okay!
- Who do you know?
- Only Jerome.
Oh no!
What a cheek! Remember all
those evenings you dragged me to!
- It's cute!
- It's moving.
I like it.
Those little candles are nice.
- Wait. How do I look?
- A little pale.
Hold this.
- Hello.
- Hi!
Hello.
- Okay?
- Fine, thanks.
- We brought a bottle of wine.
- From both of us.
Thanks. Come in.
- I looked like a fool!
- Of course not.
You're wearing your push-up!
All's well.
Come on. It's show time!
- Metropolitan.
- I love it!
- Really?
- You too.
Kim, a friend... Elsa, a colleague.
- Hello.
- And...? Sorry?
- Laure.
- Laure...
- Cheers!
- Cheers!
Chin-chin!
Sorry. It was... It was...
Elsa knows to highlight
any embarrassing situation.
Good job!
Shall we dance?
- You're a friend of Jerome's?
- We've known each other for 5 years.
He was my brother's friend
for 2 years.
Really!
- And Elsa and you?
- It's been 10 years.
Elsa and I are friends.
Well, I mean... I'm married.
I hope he knows how lucky he is.
- There you are!
- It's hot, here.
- Okay?
- Yes. Kim's nice.
- And you, with Mr Right?
- Great!
Noticed anything?
- You didn't introduce me to him.
- What do you mean?
Nothing. I know better than you
what's good for me.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- You're right. I'm sorry.
- This is great. I'm off.
Have fun.
My favourite joke...
I'm drunk so I can be foolish.
2 little asses
are on a beach... Wait.
One stands up and says:
"I'm going to swim. Coming?"
And the other answers...
No. Huh, no?
Well. I'm sorry.
- I'd better go. I'm out.
- Okay.
- Kim will take me back.
- Great!
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
- You'll call me?
- Yes.
Frankly, you make me laugh!
Really!
You're funny, smart,
you dance well...
He's got it all...
You're single?
- Just like you, yes.
- Wait on. You're kidding.
How come no one's grabbed you?
You're a homo!
No. Really, he's a homo?
You're...
It's a bit hot in here, huh?
Life is full of surprises.
Okay?
Listen, I'm really sorry.
It doesn't matter.
You could have told me.
You didn't say you were hetero.
You could have given me a hint.
My phone ring is YMCA.
I didn't hear.
YMCA
is my phone... It's not funny.
I'm sorry, Elsa.
I didn't want to embarrass you.
Don't worry.
I do it very well all by myself.
I'm off.
In any case, it's late...
Shall we go see a film,
next weekend?
Check your diary
and let me know.
Okay?
- I'll be off.
- I'll show you the way.
- I love olives.
- I prefer tomatoes.
You hang up first. No, you.
Okay. Together.
1, 2, 3...
Hello?
Sorry! Are you okay?
Yes. It's me again.
Mind if I hang up first?
Thanks. Yes. Love to you.
No. I have to go
to the gallery, now.
No, I've not sold a thing.
Yes, well, I hope so.
Come and pick me up round 8?
Yes? Fine.
Have a good board meeting.
Executive board meeting, I mean.
What?
Yes, me too.
Okay. Listen... Okay.
See you later.
- What happened?
- I was going to call you, darling.
A client bought everything.
Who's the crazy guy?
- Guess.
- It's not funny.
Guess!
- Herv?
- No. He's handsome and rich.
He was wearing a superb
slim fitting suit. So?
He wants a fresco.
Marianne!
Isn't that great!
Hey!
- Why did you do that?
- What a nice surprise!
Why did you buy
all my paintings?
I must decorate the hall.
Since when have you been interested
in decomposition?
The blues and greys?
I knew there was something.
I'm dying to...
A rush of negative energy!
Have you already tried a sabre?
I used to fence.
If you win, I'll give you back
your paintings
and you won't ever see me again.
It's tempting. Perfect.
You start!
Aggressive! I love it.
- What was your level?
- French junior champion.
Not bad.
I now understand your inspiration
for the Marais exhibit!
What?
How do you know?
That was 10 years ago.
I bought a drawing.
Hey! Come back here!
Say we're equals?
So, you agree?
- To what?
- My fresco.
- Do you ever take a no?
- Do you sometimes say yes?
In any case, it's a nice decor.
The boxes, here,
and the others, there. Good.
I've just moved in. 2 years ago.
Some Bergerac?
You've got a painting of Marie?
Yes. You notice everything.
Correct!
Super. I look like a fool
when I'm upset?
That's what makes you cute.
Exactly.
The body shows emotions.
Those faces are typical of
a strong tendency to interiorize.
Let go of your negative feelings.
Now it's clear you're pissed off.
No. It's very interesting,
the body and its emotions.
- Bread?
- No.
Come on!
Say it. Don't keep it to yourself.
I'm not pissed off. It's...
You did it!
- You did it!
- You did it!
Can we change topics?
You're all pissing me off.
Right?
It's true.
I feel better.
- There.
- Yes.
We'll taste your liquor.
Is it home-made?
Franois' family,
Grandpa's famous prune liquor.
- Be careful, it's strong.
- Cheers!
And long live Grandpa!
He's dead.
Sorry.
Right, here goes.
Eric, Anne, well...
We've got a favour to ask you.
It's quite unusual
but we've thought about it
a lot.
We've been trying to have a child
for 2 years.
We've done tests and...
I'm at fault. My spermatozoids
are not swift enough.
Shit! Sorry. Go ahead.
We can only opt for adoption
or anonymous donation.
I want to bear my child
and I don't want
an unknown donor.
When I met you again,
I thought it was a sign.
Eric...
Would you agree to be
the father of our baby?
- Sorry?
- The biological father.
We just want your sperm.
- I confirm. It's really unusual.
- It's a joke.
No. Except for your somatisation
and your anxiety attacks,
you're in good health.
I know you. I like you.
You're the perfect choice.
How shall I put it?
You're completely nuts.
Eric, you wanted to be
the father of my children.
That's not it.
We can't have a kid just like that!
Girl or boy, no matter.
In a perfect world,
daddy loves mummy very much
and plants a grain.
But we can't.
So what should we do?
That's just it. How?
If I'm to be with a stack
of Playboy magazines,
with my little bottle, no way.
I imagined something
much more simple.
Just the 2 of us.
Something more mechanical,
with no feelings.
You'd masturbate
and penetrate her to ejaculate.
It sounded weird
but looking at things that way...
- Sure you don't mind?
- No.
It's my gift to Marie.
She's giving me the gift of life.
Sorry to put a damper
on the evening.
For your information,
I ovulate around the 12th.
- You should empty your boxes.
- I'll do it.
"I'll do it"!
- What did you want me to say?
- No, for instance.
Did you see how they were?
I wanted them to think
we'd think about it.
You want to think about it?
It's you I love. Marie's old stuff,
she's a good friend.
Okay?
You're the one I love.
- I should hit you.
- Really! Hit me then!
- A glass of champagne?
- Yes, please.
So, do you like it?
It's great! Very romantic.
What's the idea?
Many would have ideas
looking at you.
It only took me 2 seconds
to get ready.
You're not bad either.
So, what do you suggest?
I'm badly parked.
I wanted to give you a kiss.
What?
You're here?
Well, well! What a surprise!
Okay? I was passing by.
I thought I'd...
Don't believe me, huh?
Enjoy your dinner together,
and I'll explain to you, Elsa...
I'll call you tomorrow. Okay?
Kisses.
What happened there?
She could have told me.
What's happening is quite something.
Maybe she was scared
of telling you.
Sometimes things happen,
without warning.
Yes...
I've never been tempted by
another woman.
And you?
- It happened to me.
- Really?
You mean that... Well...
And...?
That's all.
Well, did you... No? I mean...
It was very nice,
and then it ended.
Like all stories.
Cinderella,
just before midnight!
It's funny. It reminds when...
It's really a silly thing.
Go ahead, tell me.
At my grandmother's,
in the garden,
I would catch frogs
and would kiss them
so that they'd become princes.
And did it work?
I don't know. Where you a toad?
Want to come in?
No, I've got an early start tomorrow.
See you tomorrow.
You too.
I mean, see you tomorrow.
- Oh! You scared me.
- It's beautiful.
It's not finished yet.
I thought everyone had left.
I do work sometimes.
How long have you been watching?
Since the blue line, there.
This one?
You've not had dinner?
No. But I have to go home.
Something simple and light then.
You call this "simple"?
"Simple and light": their souffl
is absolutely fabulous. Come on.
Hello, Mr Messine. Madam.
I reserved the royal salon
as requested.
Wonderful, Andr! Thank you.
But I look like a tramp!
Why didn't I think of that?
Christiane,
take care of this lady.
This way, please.
It's totally...
"Totally."
Voucher for another
mad night of love. Sasha
I feel so foolish.
You're beautiful.
That's thanks to the dress.
I can't accept it.
What can I say?
Don't say a thing. You're...
Compliments give me rash.
Really.
You're horrible. I'm ashamed of you.
Is that better?
Perfect.
And...
Thank you.
Herv deals with fusions
in the chemical business.
I know what you're thinking:
"ordinary, boring, bland."
Am I wrong?
I'm joking.
I don't stop at looks.
"The breasts,
the buttocks, the mouth..."
I'm guilty, your Honour.
You also pigeonholed me
when we first met.
But I wasn't wrong.
You're as superficial as me.
You're more and more my style.
You think so?
If the colour of my eyes is enough
To know what I love
To know whom I am
If reading Modern was enough
To understand all about girls
If you think you've summed it all up
when I talk about Herv
About my watercolour classes
If only looks count
we won't get along
I'm afraid
I can't dance with you
Don't get me wrong
I'm not the one you think
If you judge me by my gold watch
My sports car
to understand who I am
Or if you think
the suit makes the man
And the cover makes the book
If you think that at first sight
One could guess my love stories
and imagine my nights
If you stick to looks
We won't get along
I won't dance with you
Don't get me wrong
I'm not the one you think I am
Don't get me wrong
They think we're not made
for each other
That we are 2 fools
on the dance floor
Let them say what they want
All they see is lead
Whereas I can see gold
And this kiss
That will prove to them
they're wrong
- Don't touch it. What do you say?
- It's not bad.
What? "Not bad"?
Are you kidding?
The Maoris believe it's a symbol
of authority and virility.
- It's permanent, you know.
- Less than a child!
It's no criticism.
The love of your life wants you
to sleep with her.
- Even to procreate, go ahead.
- I can't do that to Anne.
And it's completely crazy.
My parents spent 50 years together
and never loved each other.
This is crazy!
But you never knew them!
That's not the point.
You wanted Marie to come back?
That she comes back, that we get
along and have lots of children...
she, my sperm
and her impotent husband.
- I don't know what to do.
- Of course you do.
It's me. Am I disturbing you?
I've thought about it.
I agree.
My shoulder's painful.
I must have hurt it.
You vacuum-cleaned, right?
It's nice here.
Find it on the Internet?
You say I never take time to see you
during the day, so here I am.
I appreciate it.
I'm sorry I didn't trust you.
I'm pathetic.
No, not at all.
- I spotted a...
- Just imagining
you would think about it
was unbearable.
Of course, I understand.
Sole meunire is nice.
It's fish. It's nice.
- Did you call Marie?
- Yes. So what do you want?
How did she take it?
She took it...
- You said yes?
- No, I didn't.
- So you said no?
- No.
Well... I haven't called her.
Not yet. It's complicated
between Marie and me.
Not like you and me.
Everything's cool between us.
- But Marie, it's hard...
- Don't worry, Eric.
You still love her.
It's obvious.
It doesn't matter.
- Bye.
- Wait. Don't leave like that.
What do mean, "like that"?
Without an explanation, a row,
without you calling me a bastard...
Do what you want to.
We don't choose our feelings.
I didn't choose to love you,
but that's how it is.
I feel I'm alive again. At last!
- Will you tell Philippe?
- If it lasts, yes.
It's so unexpected.
Still buddy-buddy with Ziggy?
It's okay! I won't sing
A woman with a woman!
It's still buddy-buddy,
but it's okay.
A ride in the forest
and we'll forget it all?
Yes.
Let's go.
I have to open the restaurant.
- Bye, honey.
- Bye!
- Take care.
- Yes.
- You'll call me?
- Yes.
- Ciao.
- Bye!
Right,
let's go to the lake and back.
What are you doing?
I think
I'm falling in love with you.
Can you say that again?
I love you.
- You're not a homo anymore?
- I am... Well, no... I...
The other evening
when I watched you go home,
it was as if a part of me
was being ripped off.
You're saying you're physically
attracted to me?
- You weren't sleeping?
- I was watching you.
I was snoring.
You were purring.
I smell like a dead pony.
I love animals.
- Jerome, I must...
- I did what I could.
I'm going on business to Rome
in 2 weeks. Coming with me?
I'd love to. Let me check.
Listen, I've thought about it and...
I spent a wonderful
evening and night.
If you think we shouldn't...
It's okay, right?
Oh... Why do you think I'm here?
I'm here
because I feel good with you.
I feel it's where I should be.
- Okay?
- Okay.
It's like a rainbow
in the middle of the night
Like the sun and a blue sky
in Normandy
Like a western without Indians
Like a granny without a dog
It's exceptional,
yet there's you and me
It's like earning a living
at the casino
Like a soldier with a water gun
Like a Parisian without a mobile
A gentle waiter
It's exceptional
Yet there's you and me
Unique
Our two hearts together
If we only knew
- It's him
- Or it's her
Who will change my life
No one's ever known
such a love story
Without a tear
and without any mishap
Nor will the past come back
Nor will a happy woman grow old
But to grow old with you
I'd love to experience that
Here. Something hot...
That's kind.
- Madam...
- Morning.
Gentlemen.
I booked a room
in the name of Mricourt.
- Exactly. The nuptial suite.
- The rest was booked up.
We have other rooms.
No. That will be fine.
An extra bed?
No. There's no need.
- Morning.
- Morning. A tea, please.
Sure.
Welcome, Mr Mricourt,
have an enjoyable stay.
- Where does he find his books?
- It's so class!
- I'll take the sitting room?
- Okay.
- We've already been naked before.
- Absolutely.
So, well...
You've got a tattoo?
Yes. It's been a while now.
To please a girlfriend.
The Maoris believe it's a symbol
of authority and virility.
- You're hurt?
- No. That's how it is.
Ouch! Don't touch!
It gives you a wild side.
It's a bit scary.
Another one. No... A whisky!
- Okay?
- Oh yes!
- And you?
- Okay.
It's not appropriate
to say this, but...
It was... It was really...
Really... like before.
Yes.
We must call Franois.
Oh yes. Let's call Franois.
Sir, you can go up.
- How did it go?
- Very well.
- Want something? Water?
- I'll be off.
I'm going.
I'll call you. Thanks.
- Really.
- Yes. Thanks.
My pleasure.
Hope it wasn't only mine.
I'm joking.
See you soon.
See you later I love you
That's not bad, huh!
Okay. Come on.
Jerome?
I can't believe it!
- Hello!
- What are you doing here?
I'm blocking the table.
Why aren't you at your parent's?
It was an excuse.
I wanted to prepare a surprise dinner
for you. You too?
What did you make?
Nothing much.
Salmon coated with maple syrup,
ginger compote
and courgette gratin.
We can warm it up tomorrow.
I'm sorry.
I just wanted to please you,
as I'm leaving soon.
I spoiled it all.
Of course not!
It's not spoiled.
It's like in my dreams.
- Am I intruding?
- No, not at all. I...
I know. It's nonsense.
Kick me out. I'll understand.
Ouch! It's nonsense! It's...
Now, if she's not expecting,
I can't do better.
Bravo. You're the lover
of your ex!
Adultery's doing you good.
You're as supple as an octopus.
Come on, it's okay.
I now understand what you meant:
"Make the best of life,
don't worry."
How's things with Irina?
It's over.
Too tiring.
Stinking of chlorine
and getting my prick pierced to shag,
forget it.
It was her gift for my birthday.
Tattoos are enough.
Since the divorce's been cancelled...
- What do you mean?
- It's not happening.
I bumped into Catherine
at the shop.
I mistook the softener for
washing soap. It made her laugh.
- We had lunch together, so there!
- I'm dumbfounded!
That's it. Catherine and I,
we know each other...
Marriage is the only real thing.
Alright. Okay.
You didn't fancy
those studded briefs?
Okay. Next shop...
- Feel like stopping?
- Stop shopping?
I never thought I'd say it one day,
but I want to go home.
Will you run my bath for me?
Elsa?
- Victor!
- That's incredible!
- Okay?
- Yes.
Jerome, Victor.
- Leonore, Elsa.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- And you.
You're beautiful!
- It must be love.
- Certainly.
We could have a drink.
You've not changed numbers?
- No.
- I'll call you.
- Great.
- Super. Bye.
- Bye!
- Bye!
- That was Victor.
- Yes. Yes...
Let me deal with this.
Dear friend, we agree.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Herv?
Marianne,
will you marry me?
But... You've caught me off guard.
I...
I'll call you back.
I love you.
Not for a couple of days or weeks,
but for life.
It's sudden,
but I wanted you to know
that whatever might happen,
for better or for worse,
I'll always be there for you.
I'll give you time to think.
I love you.
Ladies, gentlemen, friends,
good evening.
Modern Magazine
is proud to be associated
with the talent
of a future major artist,
Marianne Lenoir.
- Thank you.
- I must thank you.
Let me introduce a friend
who has a nice gallery.
Herv wants to marry me.
Oh...
I haven't said yes yet.
As for me...
Sasha's uncle wants me to manage
a press group in New York.
- I've not yet accepted.
- Oh...
It's a great opportunity.
Yes.
Herv seems a nice guy.
- I don't know what to say.
- Write it down.
- I don't have paper.
- Sign language?
It's too complicated.
Yes. "It's too complicated."
I thought we were made
For each other
I imagined a perfect life
Then destiny got in the way
And now
It reminds us
That love has been written
By a cruel hand
The writer of our lives
Was dumped 2 weeks ago
We're paying
For his sad heartache
Even the most beautiful
love stories
Vanish
Although our paths
Are separating
I'll always think of you
Every evening
I'm off.
I'll call you when I'm there.
Safe journey.
Call when you get there.
Hello.
This is from Mr Losserand.
Thank you. Goodbye.
Love is wonderful.
- Hello. From...
- Thank you.
- Hello?
- Elsa? Victor speaking.
- Alright?
- Yes.
Fancy having a drink,
this evening?
- What's wrong?
- He's left.
I'm bad. I'm only good
at hurting others.
You can't deny it.
You listen to your heart.
It's not your fault.
I don't deserve him.
Yes, you do...
But that's not the point.
I'm here, don't worry.
I'm with you.
I'll always be there.
And...
Maybe there's a baby, somewhere.
- Going to kiss me?
- Yes.
- Take me in your arms?
- Yes.
- Going to love me?
- Yes, but the table's between us.
Oh! Dammit!
Slept well?
I know what you'll say.
- How stupid I am!
- There!
This can't be true!
See you soon? Call me?
- Don't you want any croissants?
- I'm fine. Thanks.
- Hello.
- Hello.
It's already here.
- Ground floor?
- Yes. Thanks.
A quick call before boarding.
I'll pick you up at 8 pm,
as planned. Big kiss.
Thanks.
So? Nice, isn't it?
You're crazy!
Why did you do this?
I feel good. I think we'd make
a nice couple in a film.
You think it's rubbish, huh?
It's great. Everything you do
is great. I'm no good.
Don't say that.
You're a terrific girl.
No. I'm far from being terrific.
I don't deserve all this.
It's not about deserving.
Everything's fine.
I love you.
You know... I wasn't with Laure
the other day.
I was with a fool. Well...
I was with Victor.
That's just me.
That's the kind of person I am.
Do you still love him or...?
To hell with Victor.
To hell with him.
It's...
All that you do,
I've dreamt of it.
It's just that I don't feel
what I expected to feel.
The flowers, the notes,
dinners out...
Maybe it's too perfect.
I'm not trying to be perfect.
I am what I am.
I can make an effort:
I can pee on the toilet seat,
buy a PlayStation...
No, that's not it. It's...
You're my Mr Right.
But you're not my man.
Drinks?
- No, thank you.
- Alright.
You leave first, okay?
I'll cover for you.
- I'm sorry.
- So am I.
- Something wrong?
- No. It's great.
Maybe we could go away
for the weekend,
for a change of scenery?
You're going through a hard time,
but it will all be okay.
No. We've already shagged.
Don't worry, I'm not here
to make any hot declaration
or to undo things.
I just wanted to apologise,
I apologise
for the horrible things I said.
I wanted to hurt you.
It's not very gentlemanly. Sorry.
You've made up your mind.
I respect it and will do accordingly,
not to punish you
but to protect myself.
I know that Eric
is someone nice who'll take care
of you and your baby.
Good luck, Marie.
- There won't be a baby.
- What? Why? You mean...?
Never mind, Marie.
We can try again.
Marie...
I'm sorry.
- No!
- Yes.
Please, don't do that.
- No. I love you, Marie.
- It's not a good idea.
I've only loved you.
I told you.
All I'll do is hurt you.
You don't deserve that.
I love you!
When I loved you,
it was for real.
Marie, there wasn't a single second
in all these years
that I didn't think of you.
- We're made for each other.
- No.
I'm sorry.
Forgive me.
But...
we can't have met up by chance!
You were talking about signs!
Marie...
You're a damn fool
You have no messages.
Nothing. Zero. Nada.
Bitch bitch
bloody fool bloody fool
I said I wanted to be alone tonight.
No. I won't feel down.
I might go to the cinema.
Yes.
Yes. I'm sure it's great,
but no thanks.
I don't feel like coming
to the Crazy Horse, now.
You're my buddy, too.
Okay, kiss Catherine for me.
Hey!
Hey! The bugger!
If we were in a film
It would be the last scene
When I say:
"You're the only one I love"
I quietly listen to you
In the last sequence
I'd fall in your arms
The audience would applaud
If it were a film
I wouldn't be afraid anymore
To play the same scene
over and over again
We'd be on the big screen
Under the eyes of the viewers
Like two budding actors
Slowly
We'd glide
Like on a rolling carpet
If we were in a film
Our nights would be in colour
It would be great and magnificent
Drowned in a shower of flowers
If we were in a film
If we were at the movies
- If our life was a film
- I'd say:
"You're the only one I love"
The end
Watch out!
Thanks.
- Happy New Year!
- Happy New Year!
Excuse me, I know
it sounds like a bad chat-up line,
but haven't we met before?
I don't think so.
No, you're right.
- Happy New Year!
- Happy New Year, yes.
Now that you mention it, I...
The Corfu club Med.
No, it wasn't me.
- You do boxing?
- No.
We'll never know.
Let's just raise our glasses.
- That reminds me of something.
- Me too...
The ballbreaker!
The loser on New Year's eve!
To chance, then.
And to those who believe!
3, 2, 1... Happy New Year!
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year
to Florence
That's all for today.
It's out on the streets
It's the trend
A famous melody
That we can hear
It's out on the streets
among all the looks
It's in the hands of chance
It comes and goes,
often without warning
It embraces us sooner or later
The one and only song that links us
Winds that push us
towards different lives
We meet and we elude each other
Captured in this endless dance
The one and only song that we hum
That carries us away
and consoles us
When we don't count for anyone
It catches us offhand
Throughout the town
Lovers are searching for each other
without knowing
That poor souls always meet up
Unintentionally
The one and only song that links us
Winds that push us
towards different lives
We meet and we elude each other
Captured in this endless dance
The one and only song that we hum
That carries us away
and consoles one
When we don't count for anyone
It takes us offhand
The one and only song that links us
Winds that push us
towards different lives
We meet and we elude each other
Captured in this endless dance
The one and only song that we hum
That carries us away
and consoles one
When we don't count for anyone
It takes us offhand
Throughout the town
Lovers are searching for each other
without knowing
That poor souls always meet up
Unintentionally
The one and only song that links us
Winds that push us
towards different lives
We meet and we elude each other
Captured in this endless dance
The one and only song we hum
That carries us away
and consoles us
When we don't count for anyone
It takes us offhand
The one and only song that links us
Winds that push us
towards different lives
We meet and we elude each other
Captured in this everlasting dance
The one and only song we hum
That carries us away
and consoles us
When we don't count for anyone
It takes us offhand