Mom's Day Away (2014) Movie Script
[]
FOR THE SORRYS
OH, THE SORRYS OF YOUR SOUL
THEY ARE THE WORRIES
ARE THE WORRIES
OF MY HOUSEHOLD
I HEAR THE WIND A HOWLIN'
AT MY SWINGING DOOR
BUT AT YOUR HOUSE
THE WEATHER'S PLEASANT
NOTHING MORE
I AM BEHIND...
I AM BEHIND
OH, NEVER MIND
I WILL NOT PINE
FOR I AM MINE
OH, THE TIME IS NEAR
FOR YOU TO ROMANCE EVERY BOY
WELL, I AM STILL A-LEARNING
HOW I SHOULD BE COY
AND YOU DECIDED
YOU WOULD EDUCATE ME
WHILE CONVERSING
OVER A NICE SPOT OF TEA
I AM BEHIND...
I AM BEHIND
OH, NEVER MIND
I WILL NOT PINE
FOR I AM MINE
I AM BEHIND...
I AM BEHIND
OH, NEVER MIND
I WILL NOT PINE
FOR I AM MINE
I AM BEHIND
I AM BEHIND...
I AM BEHIND
I AM BEHIND...
OH, NEVER MIND
I WILL NOT PINE
FOR I AM MINE
AND I SUPPOSE THAT I
WILL NEVER BE EXPOSED...
[]
YEAH, I CAN'T.
I'M SHOWING
THE OAK STREET HOUSE.
THAT LOOKS GOOD.
THREE BED WITH THREE BATHS,
STREET PARKING.
NO!
HANDS OFF,
BAKE SALE.
THAT'S ONLY ONE BITE.
I THINK THE TEETH MARKS
NO ONE'S MIGHT GIVE IT AWAY.
NO,
WELL, THEY COULD
CONVERT THE GARAGE
INTO A HOME GYM.
HAVE YOU SEEN MY GOOD JACKET?
YEAH, THEY'RE WITH
YOUR NOT-SO-GOOD PANTS
AT THE CLEANERS.
RIGHT, CAN YOU--
PICK THEM UP,
DELIVER THEM TO YOUR OFFICE?
OF COURSE.
RIGHT, I CAN BE THERE
IN 15 MINUTES.
OH, GOOD!
THAT GIVES US 14 MINUTES
TO TAKE OUR ANNUAL PHOTO.
FOR WHAT?
MOTHER'S DAY.
MOTHER'S DAY ALREADY?
IT'S SUNDAY.
OH... [BLUSTERING]
WELL, YEAH, RIGHT, I KNEW THAT.
DID YOU REMEMBER
TO RESET THE SPRINKLERS?
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
UH... I...
UH... MICHAEL MILLER.
DROP THOSE KEYS.
DAD SAID
THAT I COULD DRIVE.
AFTER OUR
MOTHER'S DAY PHOTO.
MOTHER'S DAY?
DIDN'T WE JUST DO THAT?
YEAH, A YEAR AGO.
AH, AH, AH!
SORRY.
BAKE SALE.
CAN'T YOU MAKE ANOTHER ONE?
I COULD.
BUT THIS ONE TOOK SIX HOURS,
SO NO.
WELL, I'M GETTING A TATTOO.
FANTASTIC.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING
TO BE LIVING?
O.M.G.
CRUZ DONALDSON IS
FOLLOWING ME ON TWITTER!
UM, I THOUGHT WE SAID
NO TWEETING,
AND WHO IS CRUZ DONALDSON?
STATUS UPDATE,
THE THIRD CUTEST BOY AT SCHOOL.
OH.
WAIT A SECOND...
ARE YOU WEARING MAKEUP?
I'M ALMOST 14.
YOU'RE 12.
BUT IT'S MOTHER'S DAY WEEKEND.
IT'S A SPECIAL OCCASION.
YES, THAT MEANS
THAT I GET TO WEAR MAKEUP,
BUT THANK YOU
FOR REMEMBERING.
WE MADE PRESENTS
AT SCHOOL.
AW...
THANKS, HONEY.
OPEN IT.
AH...
I LOVE IT.
WHAT IS IT?
YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS,
RIGHT, MOM?
YEAH. IT'S, UM...
IT'S A NAPKIN CADDY.
IT IS?
I LOVE IT, HONEY.
I'LL USE IT EVERY DAY.
OKAY...
READY?
SMILE!
[TIMER WHINING]
[SPRINKLER HISSING]
[SHRIEKING]
[PRINTER WHIRRS]
UM, HEY, DON' FORGET THE CLEANERS.
DON'T FORGET PARIS.
'KAY.
DAD SAID I COULD BORROW
10 BUCKS FOR GAS.
ELLA, COME ON!
I'LL SEE YOU AT THE GAME.
ACTUALLY, MOM,
YOU DON'T NEED TO GO.
I ALWAYS GO TO YOUR GAMES.
NONE OF THE OTHER MOMS
GO ANYMORE.
OH.
OKAY, WELL, DO YOU HAVE YOUR--
WATER AND SHIN GUARDS? YES.
AND SHE'LL
PUT ON SUNBLOCK
AND SHE'LL CALL YOU.
AM I THAT PREDICTABLE?
YOU CAN'T HELP IT,
IT'S WHO YOU ARE.
B.T.W., MOM,
DON'T FORGET TO CORREC MY MATH HOMEWORK.
AND CAN YOU DROP
MY PROJECT OFF AT ASHLEY'S?
OH, WE'RE OUT OF O.J.
NO PULP.
THIS IS WHY SOME MOTHERS
EAT THEIR YOUNG.
[]
[SIGHING DEEPLY]
"JE NE VOUDRAIS PAS
D'UNE TABLE DE FENETRE."
"JE NE VOUDRAIS PAS
D'UNE TABLE DE FENETRE."
"I WOULD NOT LIKE
A TABLE BY THE WINDOW."
WAIT, WHY WOULDN'T I LIKE
A TABLE BY THE WINDOW?
[SIGHING DREAMILY]
AH, PARIS...
[DOORBELL RINGS]
TRISH!
LAURA!
[LAUGHING HAPPILY]
AH...
COME IN, COME IN.
WHEN DID YOU GET BACK?
THIS MORNING.
I CALLED. DIDN' MICHAEL TELL YOU?
HE MUST HAVE FORGOTTEN.
PRESENTS FOR THE KIDS.
AGAIN?
YOU JUST SENT THEM
ALL THAT STUFF FROM JAPAN.
HOW ELSE AM I GOING TO
GET THEM TO LIKE ME?
ARE YOU KIDDING?
YOU'RE THEIR IDOL.
YOU'RE MY IDOL.
LOOK AT YOU,
YOU LOOK GREAT.
YOU LOOK, UH...
LIKE I'VE BEEN IN A HAIR-NADO?
I KNOW.
THERE'S A NEW INVENTION,
IT'S CALLED "A BRUSH."
I THINK I'VE HEARD OF IT.
IT'S REALLY GOOD TO SEE YOU.
-HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN?
-CHRISTMAS.
THAT LONG?
HUH.
WHAT'S WITH ALL THE POST-ITS?
THAT IS OUR NEW MODE
OF COMMUNICATION.
HUH.
NEW COUCH.
OLD COUCH.
WE RE-UPHOLSTERED.
WE GOT RID OF
THE PIZZA TONE
AND THE GRAPE JUICE TRIM.
[LAUGHS]
[SIGHING]
[LAUGHING HAPPILY]
WHERE IS EVERYBODY?
WORKING, DRIVING MY CAR,
STEALING MY MAKEUP.
WELL, AT LEAST SOMEBODY'S
WEARING YOUR MAKEUP.
[GASPS] I JUST HAD
THE BEST IDEA.
I'M HERE FOR
THREE WHOLE DAYS.
WHY DON'T WE HAVE
A GIRLS' WEEKEND?
OH, I'D LOVE TO.
BUT...
I'M SORRY.
YOU'RE TURNING ME DOWN AGAIN?
IT'S MOTHER'S DAY WEEKEND.
IT IS?
AM I THE ONLY PERSON
ON EARTH
WHO KNOWS THIS IS A HOLIDAY?
WELL, IF I HAD KIDS,
I'D BE UP ON THESE THINGS.
AND IF I DIDN'T HAVE KIDS,
I WOULD GO.
BUT WE HAVE A TRADITION.
MICHAEL TAKES ME FOR DINNER
AND THEN WE TAKE THE KIDS
ON A HIKE,
THEN WE DO SUNDAY BRUNCH.
IT'S CORNY,
I KNOW.
NO, THAT SOUNDS FUN.
IT IS FUN.
[CHUCKLING]
OOH-LA-LA.
ARE YOU FINALLY GOING?
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.
[SIGHS]
I'M GOING
TO CALL CHARLES.
WEAND HE CAN GIVE YOU ANC ARCHITECTURAL TOUR OF THE CITY.
MERCI BEAUCOUP.
[LAUGHING]
I'M TAKING YOU OUT FOR LUNCH,
SOMEPLACE FANCY.
WHY? I'LL JUST MAKE US
SOMETHING HERE.
PB AND J?
OH, UH, CHICKEN TENDERS?
I HAVE GRILLED CHEESE.
I HAVE AN EXPENSE ACCOUNT.
HMM.
[CHUCKLING]
THIS IS TOO NICE.
[CHUCKLES]
NO SUCH THING.
AND YOU ARE NOT ORDERING.
NO EPIC DAY EVER STARTED WITH,
"CAN I HAVE
A GRILLED CHEESE, PLEASE."
[CHUCKLES]
HI, FRANK.
WE WILL HAVE
THE LOBSTER SALAD FOR TWO.
OYSTERS ON
THE HALF SHELL.
WE WILL START WITH
THE CAVIAR CHEESE PLATE,
FOLLOWED BY
THE FRENCH ONION SOUP,
IN HONOR OF MADAME,
BECAUSE SHE'S GOING
TO FRANCE.
AND THEN WE'LL TAKE A BITE
OUT OF EVERY DESSERT YOU HAVE.
[GIGGLING]
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY WEEKEND.
AND TO YOU,
MY OLDEST FRIEND,
WHO HAPPENS TO LOOK
10 YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME.
[CHUCKLING]
SO, WHAT'S GOING ON
WITH JASON?
HE'S GREAT.
AND?
WE SEE EACH OTHER
WHEN WE SEE EACH OTHER.
WELL, IF YOU STUCK AROUND MORE,
YOU WOULD SEE EACH OTHER MORE.
YOU CAN'T HIT A MOVING TARGET.
BESIDES, WE'RE ALREADY PARTNERS.
YEAH, IN THE FIRM,
BUT NOT IN LIFE.
THAT'S NOT THE SAME THING.
TRUTH IS,
HE WANTS TO SETTLE DOWN,
AND HE'S ABSOLUTELY
THE KIND OF GUY
I'D LIKE TO SETTLE DOWN WITH,
IF I WERE READY.
WELL, WHEN WILL YOU BE READY?
I DON'T KNOW.
HE LOVES YOU.
YOU LOVE HIM.
IT'S BEEN THREE YEARS,
I'M JUST SAYING.
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
OH, THAT'S SO FUNNY,
JASON LOOKS JUST LIKE
A RESTAURANT.
HA, HA, HA.
IT'S TOKYO'S FINEST.
WE FINISHED IT LAST WEEK.
IT'S EAST MEETS WEST--
WITH A POST-MODERN EDGE.
PERFECT.
DO YOU EVER WONDER
WHAT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE
IF WE'D ACTUALLY OPENED
OUR OWN
ARCHITECTURAL FIRM?
YEAH, BUT THOSE WERE KIDS
WITH THOSE DREAMS.
YEAH, KIDS WITH BIG IDEAS.
IT'S TOO BAD
PLANS AREN'T BLUEPRINTS.
YEAH. YOU'RE RIGHT.
I COULD BE BUILDING
RESTAURANTS IN TOKYO.
YOU BUILT A FAMILY.
[]
[CHUCKLES]
NICE PARK JOB.
LAST WEEK,
HE TOOK OU TWO DOZEN TULIPS.
I ALMOST FORGOT.
LOOK WHAT I FOUND
IN THE BACK
OF MY CLOSET.
OH, MY GOSH,
I HAVEN'T SEEN THA IN FOREVER.
OH, NO.
LOOK AT OUR HAIR!
I GUESS WE DIDN'T HAVE
PEOPLE BACK THEN.
I GUESS WE DIDN'T HAVE
MIRRORS EITHER.
[LAUGHING]
"TRISH DANVILLE,
MOST HELPFUL."
GAG.
MOST LIKELY TO LEAD
AN ADVENTUROUS LIFE?"
CLASS PRESIDENT,
HEAD CHEERLEADER,
CHORUS--
SWIM TEAM!
REMEMBER THAT?
I'M EVOLVING.
IN REVERSE.
KEEP IT TILL NEXT TIME.
OKAY.
TILL NEXT TIME.
[HONKS GOODBYE]
[SIGHS]
[SIGHING]
YES. YES, NO.
I CAN SEND YOU THE COMPS.
OKAY.
OKAY, BYE.
HONEY, DID YOU GO
TO THE CLEANERS?
I'M INVISIBLE.
WHAT?
I HAD ALL THESE DREAMS,
AND I JUST...
STOPPED.
YOU STOPPED WHAT?
DOING THINGS.
HONEY, YOU DO
LOTS OF THINGS.
TRISH IS HAVING THE LIFE
THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE.
TRISH. OH, YEAH.
SHE CALLED THIS MORNING.
WE WERE GOING TO DO
ALL THESE THINGS.
WE WERE GONNA GO SEE
THE EIFFEL TOWER,
AND SWIM WITH DOLPHINS,
AND BUILD SKYSCRAPERS,
AND NOW LOOK,
MY TO DO LIST IS ON A FRIDGE--
"CLEANERS,
O.J., NO PULP."
IS THAT ELLA'S
MOTHER'S DAY PRESENT?
WHAT?
NO, THE TABLE
WAS WOBBLING.
[GROANING]
WHAT IS IT?
IT'S A NAPKIN CADDY.
PAST TENSE.
[CLUCKS]
DO WE HAVE TO TELL HER?
MAYBE I CAN FIX IT.
HEY, DO YOU REMEMBER
WHEN WE WERE DECIDING
BETWEEN GETTING A DOG
AND HAVING KIDS?
YES.
WE WERE DECIDING BETWEEN
RUINING OUR CARPETS
AND RUINING OUR LIVES.
TONIGHT...
I'LL TAKE YOU ANYWHERE.
ANYWHERE?
YEAH.
I WANT TO GO DANCING.
COME ON, WE ALWAYS
USED TO GO DANCING.
THAT WAS BEFORE
WE WERE MARRIED.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
I WAS TRYING TO
IMPRESS YOU BACK THEN.
OH... WELL,
IMPRESS ME NOW.
IT'LL BE FUN.
[SIGHS]
ANYTHING BUT THAT.
I'M JUS NOT IN THE MOOD.
WE'LL HAVE TO DANCE
IN PARIS.KAY, FINE.
IT'S OKAY, WE'LL DANCE
UNDER THE EIFFEL TOWER...
[CHUCKLES SHEEPISHLY]
WHAT'S WRONG?
I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO TELL YOU THIS.
THEN DON'T.
I'M SORRY,
BUT THE MAPLE STREET COMPLEX
IS CLOSING THAT WEEK,
THE CLIENTS
ARE FLYING IN.
I HAVE TO BE HERE.
THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID LAST YEAR,
AND THE YEAR
BEFORE THAT--
NO, I KNOW. I'M SORRY.
IT'S JUST...
LOOK, WE CAN GO NEXT SUMMER,
I PROMISE.
HEY, MOM.
HEY. [SNAPPING FINGERS]
GET BACK HERE.
YOUR LIPS LOOK
VERY RED.
RED VELVET CAKE RED.
[GROANS IN EXASPERATION]
OH, GOD...
THERE IS A LAYER MISSING.
JUS THE BOTTOM ONE.
YOU CAN'T EVEN
SEE IT.
MAYBE NO ONE
WILL NOTICE IT.
WHAT?
OKAY, WAIT,
DO YOU THINK I LIKE
PICKING UP AND SCRAPING
THREE-DAY-OLD PIZZA
UP OFF YOUR FLOOR?
OR YOU--DO YOU THINK
I LIKE HANGING AND REHANGING
YOUR FIVE DAILY
WARDROBE CHANGES?
DO YOU THINK I LIKE
THAT YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME,
AND THAT I'M ALWAYS WRONG,
AND THAT I'M ALWAYS SAYING "NO,"
AND THAT I'M ALWAYS
THE BAD COP?
DON'T ANSWER THAT.
KNOW WHAT?
I'M SPENDING THE WEEKEND
AT TRISH'S.
WAIT...
REMIND ME NEVER TO LOAN MY CAR
TO SOMEONE I GAVE BIRTH TO.
HEY, HON'...
HONEY...
HONEY, IT'S...
IT'S MOTHER'S DAY WEEKEND.
[SIGHING]
I'M TAKING MOTHER'S DAY OFF.
HERE'S A STATUS UPDATE,
YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.
[CLEARS THROAT AWKWARDLY]
WE HAD A FIGHT.
I'M SORRY.
IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
IT'S JUST THAT NO ONE
WARNS YOU ABOUT THIS STUFF
WHEN YOU FALL IN LOVE.
YOU GET MARRIED, YOU HAVE KIDS,
YOU HIT THE GROUND DIAPERING,
AND ONE DAY, YOU WAKE UP,
AND YOU BARELY
RECOGNIZE YOURSELF.
IS THIS 'CAUSE I SHOWED
YOU THAT YEARBOOK?
NO.
I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE
BURNED THAT THING.
FORGET IT.
THE LAST TIME WE HAD
ITA GIRLS' WEEKEND,.
WE WERE ACTUALLY GIRLS.
OH, YOU REDECORATED.
I LOVE IT.
I HAD MY PEOPLE DO IT.
AND YOU HAVE PEOPLE.
OH, IT'S SO CLEAN.
OH, JUST GOT TO FIX THIS.
STOP.
STOP. I HAVE
A HOUSEKEEPER.
I CAN'T HELP IT.
DON'T MAKE MY BED.
DON'T MAKE MY BED.
YOU KNOW I HAVE TO.
OKAY, I CAN SEE
WE'RE GOING TO NEED
TO DEPROGRAM YOU.
WHY?
DO YOU HAVE PEOPLE
FOR THAT, TOO?
IT'S CALLED "A PSYCHIATRIST."
YOU'VE GOTTEN BOSSY
IN YOUR OLD AGE.
WELL, ONE OF US HAS TO BE.
I'LL JUST FLUFF THIS FOR YA.
[LAUGHING] DON' FLUFF MY PILLOWS.
IT'S NOT FLUFFY--
DON'T FLUFF MY PILLOWS.
IT NEEDS TO BE...
[LAUGHING]
[PRACTICING GUITAR]
DO YOU THINK MOM'S
GONNA BE HERE SOON?
I'LL GIVE HER TILL DINNER.
IT WOULD BE COOL
IF MOM WAS MORE LIKE TRISH.
[LAUGHS] IT'D BE COOL
IF SHE HAD A CAR LIKE TRISH.
CAN YOU BELIEVE
THEY'RE THE SAME AGE?
MEH, AFTER, LIKE, 30,
IT'S ALL THE SAME.
DO YOU THINK MOM'S HAVING
A MID-LIFE CRISIS?
[LAUGHING] NO.
THAT JUST HAPPENS
TO GUYS.
NO, IT DOESN'T.
YEAH, IT DOES.
LIKE JOHN'S DAD?
HE JUST GOT A PORSCHE
AND HE WEARS SKINNY JEANS.
YEAH, WELL,
ASHLEY'S MOM BECAME A VEGAN
AND TOOK UP ZUMBA.
AT LEAST MOM STILL
EATS HAMBURGERS.
I'M HUNGRY.
ME TOO.
I HOPE SHE REMEMBERED
TO BUY MORE MAC AND CHEESE.
SHE DID.
IT'S LIKE WE'RE ON AUTO-PILOT,
AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHEN THE SWITCH GOT FLIPPED.
I MEAN, WHEN
THE KIDS WERE YOUNG,
AND MICHAEL
WAS STARTING OUT,
WE RELIED ON EACH OTHER.
AND NOW MICHAEL'S
WORKING ALL THE TIME
AND THE KIDS HAVE
THEIR OWN LIVES.
I MEAN, EVERYONE DOES,
EXCEPT ME.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU TOOK ANY TIME
FOR YOURSELF?
I TOOK A SHOWER THIS MORNING,
BUT THERE WAS
BARELY ANY HOT WATER.
[SCOFFS IN SYMPATHY]
YOU'VE BEEN IN
THE BACK SEAT FOR SO LONG
YOU'VE FORGOTTEN WHA THE FRONT SEAT FEELS LIKE.
DO YOU KNOW HOW BIG
A BACK SEAT IS IN A MINI-VAN?
DO YOU KNOW THAT MY CAR
HAS NO BACKSEAT?
[SIGHS]
NO BACK SEAT.
NO CARPOOLING.
NO STICKY FINGERS TRYING TO
CHANGE THE RADIO STATION.
AND HAVE YOU HEAD THE MUSIC?
AND THE LYRICS?
AND THEY PLAY IT SO LOUD...
AND WHAT IS WITH
THE NON-STOP TEXTING?
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE
SO IMPORTANT?
IT'S LIKE
THEY WORK FOR THE CIA.
[LAUGHS]
I SHOULD CALL HOME.
YOU JUS CAME FROM HOME,
AND YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE RELAXING.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
IT'LL JUST TAKE A MINUTE.
HEY, HON'.
HEY, I'M SORRY
I TOOK OFF LIKE THAT.
OH, NO, NO, NO, WE'RE SORRY.
YOU NEED A BREAK.
SO, JUST GO HAVE SOME FUN
WITH TRISH, OKAY?
OKAY.
OH, UM, QUICK QUESTION,
WHAT ARE THE GROUND RULES
FOR TWITTER AGAIN?
NO TWEETING, NO TUMBLR,
NO VINE, NO SNAPCHAT.
INSTAGRAM AND FACEBOOK
WITH PARENTAL SUPERVISION ONLY.
UH, HEY, YOUR MOTHER SAYS NO!
AND THEN BRANDON SAYS
HE NEEDS NEW STRINGS
FOR HIS GUITAR?
HE JUST GOT NEW STRINGS.
HE CAN USE
HIS OWN MONEY.
YOUR MOTHER SAYS
USE YOUR OWN MONEY!
[MICHAEL'S CELL PHONE RINGS]
OH, UH, HEY,
I'VE GOT TO TAKE THIS.
LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
SEE?
THEY'RE FINE.
HMM.
ALL RIGHT, BOB, GIVE ME
A CALL BACK AND LET ME KNOW.
OKAY, WHEN
YOU GET THERE...
[CLEARING THROAT EAGERLY]
WAIT, IT'S OKAY THAT I EA THE REST OF THIS, RIGHT?
UH, YEAH,
OF COURSE, IT IS.
IT'S RUINED ANYWAY.
YOU NEED TO CORREC MY MATH HOMEWORK.
OKAY, JUST LEAVE IT THERE.
I'LL DO IT LATER.
MOM AND I
DO IT TOGETHER.
SHE'S REALLY GOOD AT IT.
OKAY, ALL RIGHT, WELL--
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
JUST...
MICHAEL MILLER.
IT'S OKAY,
I'LL WAIT FOR MOM.
WAIT...
WHAT?
YOU SAID--
I DIDN'T--
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
THE ROOF IS LEAKING?
IT'S PRACTICALLY NEW.
I'M BORROWING
THE CAR, OKAY?
I'LL BE AT ASHLEY'S.
UH, YEAH.
IS THERE DAMAGES?
WHAT, WHAT ARE
THE DAMAGES?
OH, COME ON, YOU'VE GO TO BE KIDDING ME.
WELL... NO.
MAYBE I CAN GET RUPER TO COME DOWN...
[SIGHS HEAVILY]
EVERYTHING'S SO...
IN STYLE.
STEP AWAY FROM
THE SALES RACK.
UH-UH.
NO MOM CLOTHES.
OKAY.
YOU'RE LAURA AMES.
YOU'RE "GIRL MOST LIKELY
TO LEAD AN ADVENTUROUS--
I'M LAURA MILLER,
PREDICTABLE.
NOT ANYMORE.
WORK WITH ME.
TRY THESE.
NOTHING SHORT, OR TIGHT,
OR WITH COLOR,
IT EMBARRASSES MY KIDS.
TRY THEM ON.
[GROANS]
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.
UGH, I'M SO PALE!
SPRAY TAN.
ARE THESE MY THIGHS?
PILATES.
SOMETHING'S WRONG
WITH THE MIRROR.
THERE'S NOTHING
WRONG WITH THE MIRROR.
[SIGHING]
[SIGHS] OKAY.
COME ON OUT.
REALLY?
BACKWARDS?
-WHAT?
-NO BELT?
[IMITATES EXPLOSION]
WELCOME BACK, TRISH.
WELL, IT'S GOOD
TO BE BACK.
THIS IS LAURA.
THIS IS MY OLDEST FRIEND
IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
LAURA, ARE YOU READY
TO BE PAMPERED?
UH... PAMPERED?
HMM, I'M NOT QUITE SURE
I'M FAMILIAR WITH THAT TERM.
WELL, YOU WILL BE
AFTER TODAY.
OKAY.
LET'S GET STARTED.
OKAY.
READY?
I DON'T KNOW.
[GIGGLING]
YOU ARE GOING TO
LOVE THIS PLACE.
THERE'S
THE ROSE PETAL ROOM,
THE EUCALYPTUS ROOM...
JUST AS LONG AS IT'S
NOT THE LAUNDRY ROOM.
[LAUGHING]
[]
[]
UH-HUH.
I HAVE NOT SEEN
THIS GIRL IN A WHILE.
ME EITHER.
I LIKE HER.
ME TOO.
"JE NE VOUDRAIS PAS
D'UNE TABLE DE FENETRE."
[LAUGHS] WHAT?
"I DO NOT WAN A TABLE BY THE WINDOW."
BUT YOU REALIZE
WE'RE OUTSIDE.
I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO
GET TO SAY IT IN FRANCE.
EVEN IF YOU DID,
WHO DOESN'T WAN A WINDOW TABLE?
DID YOU SEE THE WAY
THAT GUY LOOKED AT YOU?
HE LOOKED AT YOU.
[LAUGHING] SEE?
HE MUST BE
LEGALLY BLIND.
I DIDN'T SEE A CANE.
-I SHOULD CALL HOME.
-YOU JUST CALLED.
THREE HOURS AGO.
THEY WANTED YOU TO BE
ENJOYING YOURSELF.
-I FEEL GUILTY.
-FOR LOOKING GOOD? DOING.
FOR LOOKING LIKE
SOMEONE ELSE.
YOU LOOK LIKE YOURSELF.
I'M NOT THIS PRETTY.
UGH, IS MY WORK HERE
NEVER DONE?
HANG ON ONE SECOND.
AH, AH, AH.
MICHAEL?
LAURA WANTS TO KNOW
IF EVERYTHING IS OKAY
SINCE LAST TIME
SHE CHECKED IN
THREE HOURS AGO.
SHE LOVES YOU, TOO.
THEY'RE FINE.
-OKAY, MAYBE I SHOUL--
-NO.
WELL, JUST IN CASE-
NO!
I AM KEEPING THIS.
OKAY.
[STEREO BLASTING]
[CRUNCHING]
YEAH, WELL, YOU HAVE
TO TELL THE BUYER THA THAT'S AN EASEMENT,
IT'S NOT A DOG RUN.
MM-HMM.
OKAY, YEAH,
I'LL HOLD.
WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT ME GETTING
A TATTOO?
AND BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING,
ALL THE GUYS IN THE BAND
ARE GETTING ONE.
[SIGHS AWKWARDLY] YEAH, UM...
YOU KNOW,
I THINK WE NEED TO ASK MOM.
SHE SAID NO.
HEY, BUT YOU ALWAYS
SAY YES, DAD.
IT'LL BE SO COOL.
AND BARELY
NOTICEABLE.
I COULD GET I ON MY FOOT,
SO IF I HAVE A JOB INTERVIEW
AT THE WHITE HOUSE
OR DONALD TRUMP
OR SOMETHING.
OH, GOOD,
THAT'S REASSURING.
YEAH, I KNOW.
WE'RE GETTING THE
NAME OF THE BAND.
"THE DECADENT MACHINE"?
NO, THAT WAS OUR LAST NAME.
WHAT?
YOU CHANGED YOUR NAME?
YEAH.
CRUZ DONALDSON
JUST UNFOLLOWED ME!
WHO'S CRUZ DONALDSON?
HE'S, LIKE, THE SECOND
CUTEST BOY IN SCHOOL!
I THOUGH HE WAS THE THIRD.
HE MOVED UP.
ASHLEY'S BROTHER WAS SECOND,
BUT HE CUT HIS HAIR.
SO, THAT'S
A YES, THEN.
WHAT? WAIT.
THE TAT.
UM, NO, I THINK WE NEED
TO TALK ABOUT I WHEN YOUR MOM COMES BACK.
WELL, SHE'LL JUST SAY NO.
MY LIFE IS OVER!
HEY, HONEY, IT'S...
HOLDING.
ANYONE?
REMEMBER WHEN THERE
USED TO BE A SKATING RINK
OVER THERE?
AND YOU HAD A CRUSH
ON THE BOY THAT WORKED
IN THE SKATE SHOP?
BOY?
HE'S PROBABLY SOMEBODY'S
GRANDFATHER BY NOW.
NO, HE OWNS A BUILDING
WE'RE REMODELING.
YOU'RE KIDDING.
JASON'S PROJECT.
WHY ISN'T I JASON AND TRISH'S PROJECT?
THAT WE WOULD HAVE TO
SPEND EVERY DAY TOGETHER.
OH, LIKE A REAL COUPLE.
WE ARE A REAL COUPLE.
NO, HE'S
HALF A COUPLE.
YOU'RE A MOVING
TARGET, REMEMBER?
HAS HE BEEN
TALKING TO YOU?
NO.
JUST THAT JASON AND I
BOTH HAVE YOUR BES INTERESTS AT HEART.
BESIDES, I WISH YOU'D
STICK AROUND MORE.
YOU KNOW, LET SOMEONE
ELSE AT THE FIRM
RACK UP ALL THE AIR MILES.
I KNOW.
I KNOW, I THINK I'M JUS SCARED OF MISSING OU ON SOMETHING.
WELL, HOW DO YOU KNOW
YOU'RE NOT MISSING OU ON SOMETHING HERE?
LOOK HOW CUTE.
YOU DO REALIZE
THOSE ARE NOT YOUR KIDS.
WHEN ELLA WAS LITTLE,
SHE USED TO WANT ME
AT ALL OF HER GAMES.
SHE ALWAYS CHECKED TO
MAKE SURE I WAS LOOKING.
TO MAKE SURE I'M NO NEMBARRASSING THEM.OK
HMM, WELL,
THAT SOUNDS NORMAL.
IT JUST GOES BY SO FAST.
WHEN THEY WERE YOUNG,
YOU USED TO SAY
IT WAS GOING SO SLOW.
THE DAYS ARE LONG,
BUT THE YEARS ARE FAST.
ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY,
GET ON THAT SHIP OF FOOLS
AND MAKE SOME NOISE
FOR MISS PAULA HILL!
[]
[SINGING OUT OF KEY]
I'M SAILING AWAY...
[MUFFLED LAUGHTER]
SET AN OPEN COURSE
FOR THE VIRGIN SEA...
OKAY, I THINK THAT'S THE WORS VOICE I'VE EVER HEARD.
CAN I GET A SIDE OF
EARPLUGS WITH THIS DRINK?
SHH...
YOU GET UP THERE.
NO! NO WAY.
WHAT? YOU USED TO
ROCK IT IN CHORUS.
ANCIENT HISTORY, BABE.
IT'S NOT SO ANCIENT.
AND YOU WERE THE QUEEN
OF CENTRAL HIGH.
DO YOU REMEMBER
YOUR SOLO IN THE GYM?
WE HAVE PTA MEETINGS
IN THE GYM NOW.
YIKES.
I KNOW.
...TO CARRY ON
[MUFFLED LAUGHTER]
NICE WORK, PAULA.
DO YOU HAVE A RECORD DEAL?
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
LAURA MILLER, YOU'RE UP!
PLEASE TELL ME THERE'S
ANOTHER LAURA MILLER HERE.
LAURA MILLER,
COME ON UP!
SHE'S RIGHT HERE!
OH, THERE SHE IS.
YOU DIDN'T.
NO, NO. NO...
SHE'S RIGHT HERE.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
WHAT ARE YOU
SINGING, LAURA?
UM... "BETRAYAL."
I DON'T THINK
WE HAVE THAT.
OKAY, HOW ABOUT, UM,
"DON'T STOP"?
[APPLAUSE AND CHEERS]
ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY.
GIVE IT UP
FOR MISS L.M.!
LAURA MILLER!
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
YOU GO, GIRL!
[]
IF YOU WAKE UP
AND DON'T WANNA SMILE
IF IT TAKES
JUST A LITTLE WHILE
OPEN YOUR EYES
AND LOOK AT THE DAY
YOU'LL SEE THINGS
IN A DIFFERENT WAY
DON'T STOP
THINKING ABOUT TOMORROW
DON'T STOP
IT'LL SOON BE HERE
IT'LL BE HERE
BETTER THAN BEFORE
YESTERDAY'S GONE
YESTERDAY'S GONE
[]
[ALL CLAPPING ALONG]
WHY NOT THINK ABOU THE TIMES TO COME?
AND NOT ABOU THE THINGS THAT YOU'VE DONE
IF YOUR LIFE WAS BAD TO YOU
JUST THINK
WHAT TOMORROW WILL DO
DON'T STOP THINKING
ABOUT TOMORROW
DON'T STOP
IT'LL SOON BE HERE
IT'LL BE HERE
BETTER THAN BEFORE
YESTERDAY'S GONE
YESTERDAY'S GONE...
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
RISE AND SHINE,
ROCK STAR.
COFFEE'S ON.
[SIGHING PEACEFULLY]
[GUITAR STRUMMING LOUDLY]
[CHUCKLING]
YEAH, WE'RE TAKING OVER
THE THIRD FLOOR NEXT MONTH.
WOW.
BRANDON AND ELLA
ARE GETTING OLDER,
YOU CAN'T HAVE A CAREER
AND BE A MOM. NO REASON
THERE'S NO REASON
YOU CAN'T HAVE A CAREER
AND A RELATIONSHIP.
WE WERE TALKING
ABOUT YOU.
AND BESIDES,
WHILE YOU'RE HERE,
YOU CAN GIVE ME
YOUR OPINION ON THESE.
BLUEPRINTS?
I HAVEN'T LOOKED AT THESE
IN 15 YEARS.
BLUEBERRIES, BLUE CHEESE
AND BLACK-AND-BLUES,
I CAN HELP WITH.
COME ON, YOU'VE ALWAYS GO GREAT INSTINCTS.
HAD.
HEY, STRANGER.
HI, SWEETIE!
HEY, JASON.
LAURA.
YOU LOOK AMAZING.
THANK YOU.
DID I SAY YOU LOOK AMAZING?
[LAUGHS]
YOU SEE THIS IS NOTGE
AND KIDS DMARRIAGE AND KIDS.
THIS IS A MAKEOVER.
SHE'S RIGHT.
I DON'T ACTUALLY
LOOK LIKE THIS.
WELL, YOU DO NOW.
WELL, ALL I CAN SAY IS,
MICHAEL'S A LUCKY GUY.
OH, AND SPEAKING OF LUCKY GUYS,
DON CALLED.
HE WANTS YOU
TO BRING HIM THE PLANS.
WHEN?
TONIGHT.
I'LL BE BACK.
WE'RE GOING TO
WINE COUNTRY.
[LAUGHING]
YOU WANT ME
TO GO WITH YOU?
OF COURSE.
IT'S ALL EXPENSES PAID.
I'D LOVE TO, BUT...GOING TO HAVE
IT'S TOO MUCH.O MUCH FUN.
NO SUCH THING!
BESIDES, IT'S GIRLS' WEEKEND.
I CAN'T KEEP UP WITH YOU.
I CAN'T EVEN KEEP UP
WITH THE KARDASHIANS.
ALL RIGHT, I WILL DRIVE YOU
BACK TO YOUR MOM VAN.
JUST GIVE ME
HALF AN HOUR
TO GO OVER SOME PLANS.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO
GIVE HER AN HOUR.
TAKE THE CAR FOR A SPIN?
WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO GO?
ANYWHERE BUT HOME.
ONE HOUR.
[]
[POLICE SIREN WAILS]
LICENSE AND REGISTRATION?
UM, THIS ISN'T MY CAR.
I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED.
DO YOU KNOW HOW FAS YOU WERE DRIVING?
I'M SO SORRY, OFFICER.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO SPEED.
YOU WERE GOING
17 MILES AN HOUR.
WHAT?
THIS IS
A 35-MILE-AN-HOUR ZONE.
THAT'S 19 MILES
BELOW
THE SPEED LIMIT.
18, ACTUALLY.
EXCUSE ME?
I'M SO SORRY.
I DO MY DAUGHTER'S MATH--
I MEAN, I DON'T DO HER--
I CORRECT HER
SOMETIMES?
I'M SORRY,
ARE YOU GIVING ME A TICKET?
BECAUSE TOMORROW'S MOTHER'S DAY.
MOTHER'S DAY?
NO, NO, I THOUGH THAT WAS NEXT WEEKEND.
LIVE A LITTLE.
DRIVE THE SPEED LIMIT.
TAKE YOU TO LUNCH?
I'D LOVE TO,
BUT YOU KNOW LAURA'S
DUE BACK ANY MINUTE.
I MEAN, IF SHE HASN' TAKEN OFF
WITH MY CAR FOR GOOD.
SOMEHOW I DON' SEE THAT HAPPENING.
I HOPE SHE DIDN'T DRIVE HOME
AND START DOING LAUNDRY.
WELL, YOU TWO, HAVE FUN.
THERE YOU GO.
-OH, WE WILL.
-SEE YOU MONDAY.
MM-HMM.
NO, WAIT,
I HAVE THE CONFERENCE
IN ATLANTA NEXT WEEK.
I THOUGHT YOU WEREN' GOING TO THAT.
IF I DON'T GO, WHO WOULD?
SOMEONE ELSE.
ANYONE ELSE.
EXCEPT FOR, ANYONE ELSE
CAN'T REP THE COMPANY
LIKE I CAN.
IT'S JUST A FEW DAYS.
IT'S NO A FEW DAYS.
OKAY, IT'S A WEEK.
THE YEAR ONLY HAS 52 OF THOSE,
AND YOU'RE AWAY
FOR MOST OF THEM.
I KNOW, BUT I ALWAYS COME BACK.
AND I'M ALWAYS HERE WAITING.
RIGHT?
THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID.
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO.
OKAY.
I KNOW YOU WANT TO SPEND
MORE TIME TOGETHER.
I'M GOING TO LEAVE
THE CONFERENCE A DAY EARLY.
WHATEVER THIS IS...
IT'S NOT WORKING
FOR ME ANYMORE.
OKAY.
I WON'T GO TO ATLANTA.
LOOK, TRISH,
I LOVE YOU.
OKAY, I THINK
YOU KNOW THAT.
BUT I...
I WANT A RELATIONSHIP
WITH SOMEONE WHO'S THERE.
I WANT A COMMITMENT,
AND A HOUSE,
AND MAYBE EVEN
A COUPLE OF KIDS.
I WANT TO BUILD
A LIFE WITH SOMEONE.
A REAL LIFE.
JASON, WE HAVE
WHAT EVERYBODY WANTS.
OKAY, WE HAVE FUN.
WE HAVE
EACH OTHER.
WE HAVE EXCITING CAREERS.
WHY DO WE WANT TO MESS
WITH THAT?
I WAN SOMETHING MORE.
I THOUGHT YOU DID, TOO.
I DO.
I JUST...
DON'T WANT IT RIGHT NOW.
WOULD IT BE
SO TERRIBLE
TO BE MORE LIKE
LAURA AND MICHAEL?
[CHUCKLES]
LAURA AND MICHAEL?
THAT'S EXACTLY MY POINT,
THEY'RE NOT EVEN
GETTING ALONG RIGHT NOW.
ALL RIGHT.
I GUESS I'LL SEE YOU
WHEN I SEE YOU.
WAIT, DON'T BE MAD.
WE'LL FIGURE THIS OUT.
I HAVE
FIGURED IT OUT.
[STARTS ENGINE]
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
WOW, MOM,
THAT'S AWESOME!
YEAH. I KNOW,
TRISH HELPED ME--
SWEET RIDE!
CAN I TAKE I FOR A SPIN?
THAT WOULD BE A NO.
OH, COME ON...
[SIGHING]
MOM?
O.M.G., YOU LOOK SO GOOD.
YOU LOOK LIKE
A REAL PERSON, TOO.
LIKE A 30-YEAR-OLD REAL PERSON.
IT'S JUST A LITTLE BI OF MAKEUP.
DAD SAID IT WAS OKAY.
OH, HE DID?
HE GAVE ME A THUMBS UP
WHILE HE WAS ON THE PHONE.
WELL...
[SIGHING]
I DON'T GET IT.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS
WANT TO BE THE BAD COP?
I DON'T...
[MUMBLING GROGGILY]
WOW, YOU LOOK AMAZING.
YEAH?
NOT TOO MUCH?
NO.
NO, IT'S JUST...
I THINK I'M USED TO SEEING YOU
IN A CERTAIN WAY.
PONYTAIL AND SWEATPANTS?
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
HEY.
THAT'S OKAY.
IN TWO DAYS, IT'LL FADE.
I'LL TURN BACK INTO A PUMPKIN.
HEY, I'LL CALL YOU
RIGHT BACK, OKAY?
OKAY.
HEY, HEY.
SORRY ABOUT THAT.
I DIDN'T REALIZE
YOU'D BE HOME SO SOON.
YEAH, TRISH GO CALLED AWAY.
SO, HOW WAS IT,
WAS IT FUN?
IT WAS.
I WAS LIKE A... A REAL PERSON.
I WAS BEGINNING TO SUSPEC THAT YOU MIGHT BE A REAL PERSON.
DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN
WE USED TO DO THINGS TOGETHER,
AND WE USED TO HAVE FUN?
YEAH.
LOOK, THIS ABOU THE DANCING THING, RIGHT?
I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT.
IF THAT'S SOMETHING
YOU WANT,
THEN I'LL DO IT.
BUT I WANT YOU
TO WANT TO DO IT.
OH.
REMEMBER THE TWO OF US?
AND THE FOUR OF US,
WE WERE A TEAM.
IS THIS EMPTY NEST SYNDROME?
BECAUSE THE NES IS NOT EMPTY YET.
I MEAN, AS YOU CAN SEE.
BUT IT WILL BE,
AND THEN WHERE WILL WE--
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
WAIT, I'VE GOT TO TAKE THIS.
JUST HOLD ON ONE MINUTE.
HEY, HEY,
I WAS THINKING
WHAT IF WE THREW IN
A PUTTING GREEN?
LIKE A SHOW
OF GOOD FAITH.
HONEY, DO YOU KNOW
WHERE MY COMP
FOLDER IS?
YEAH, I MEAN,
YOU KNOW,
ASTRO TURF,
NOT REAL GRASS.
YEAH, I'LL MEET YOU
OVER THERE.
NO...
UM...PROJECTED
OR ACTUAL?
I DON'T KNOW, I CAN'T--
I DON'T KNOW...
I'M GOING TO
SPARKLING HILL RESORT.
[TEXTING RAPIDLY]
I'M GOING AWAY WITH TRISH
FOR THE WEEKEND!
...YEAH. RIGHT.
NO, I TOTALLY
UNDERSTAND.
NO, WHOEVER OWNED I 15 YEARS AGO PROBABLY--
I'M LEAVING NOW.
UM, I'LL MEET YOU THERE
IN, LIKE,
20 MINUTES,
AND WE'LL DO
A WALK-THROUGH.
IFI HAVE A COUPLE
WOOF OTHER OPTIONS.
GREAT. LOOKING
FORWARD TO IT.
THANKS SO MUCH.
WOW...
HI, CASSANDRA.
IT'S GORGEOUS.
I LOVE WHAT I'VE DONE
WITH THE PLACE.
CAN YOU TELL DON
WE'RE HERE?
[LAUGHING]
OUR SUITE, MADAME.
[SIGHING]
THIS IS GORGEOUS.
LOOK AT ALL THESE FLOWERS.
AND THAT VIEW?
THEY SENT US
A FRUIT BASKET!
WITH MACADAMIA NUTS.
THESE ARE $19 A BOX.
HOW DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH
MACADAMIA NUTS COST?
BECAUSE I PASS BY THEM
IN THE MARKET,
WELL, YOU'RE NOT EATING
ON PEANUTS ON THIS TRIP.S.
THE CLIENT OWNS
14 RESTAURANTS.
15 WHEN WE'RE DONE.
[GROANING]
I COULD GET USED TO THIS.
[CHUCKLES]
YOU SHOULD.
[SIGHING]
THE CLIENT?
UH, JASON.
THAT'S SO ROMANTIC.
YOU HAVE A GUY
THAT SENDS YOU FLOWERS.
ESPECIALLY AFTER
THE FIGHT YOU HAD.
ARE YOU GOING TO CALL HIM?
LATER.
RIGHT NOW,
YOU AND I ARE GOING OUT.
OOH...
[GIGGLING]
OOH... I LIKE.
SO, THIS IS ME,
AND THIS IS YOU.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
THIS IS ME.
MM-HMM.
[LAUGHING]
[]
PIZZA!
DOUBLE CHEESE!
WHAT'S THAT?
UM, OH, IT'S
MOM'S OLD YEARBOOK
FROM HIGH SCHOOL.
I FOUND I IN THE LIVING ROOM.
SHE LOOKS SO YOUNG.
SHE WASN'T OLD YET,
IT WAS HIGH SCHOOL.
HEY, HEY, HEY,
SHE'S NOT OLD.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
"GIRL MOST LIKELY TO LEAD
AN ADVENTUROUS LIFE"?
YUP.
WHAT HAPPENED?
UM, I THINK
SHE MET ME.
SHE HAD US.
LET ME SEE.
I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE HER
DRIVING A CONVERTIBLE.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
SHE WAS DRIVING ONE
WHEN I MET HER.
THEY MAKE MINIVAN
CONVERTIBLES?
NO, MUSTANG.
FIRE ENGINE RED.
-WAIT, MOM DROVE A MUSTANG?
-MM-HMM.
WHAT HAPPENED TO IT?
UH, WELL, SHE SOLD IT.
SHE COULDN'T FI A CAR SEAT IN IT.
I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME
I EVER MET YOUR MOM.
SHE WAS AT A HOTEL,
AND SHE WAS GRADUATING
FROM ARCHITECTURE SCHOOL,
AND I WAS THERE
FOR A JOB INTERVIEW.
I LOOKED OUT THIS WINDOW,
AND I SAW HER
DIVING INTO A POOL,
IN HER CAP AND GOWN
AND HIGH HEELS.
[LAUGHING]
AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED?
I BLEW OFF THE INTERVIEW,
AND I RAN OUTSIDE,
AND I HANDED HER A TOWEL.
AND I THINK, PROBABLY
FROM THAT MOMENT RIGHT THERE,
I WAS IN LOVE WITH HER.
THAT MOTHER'S DAY HIKE
HEY, DOWE WENT ON,EMEMBER
WHERE MOM WORE THAT STUPID HA THAT ELLA MADE
AND A BIRD LANDED ON IT?
[LAUGHING] OH, YEAH.
WHEN SHE OUTRAN
A COCKER SPANIEL?EE GAME
[LAUGHING]
YEAH.
I THINK THIS IS THE FIRS MOTHER'S DAY MEAL
THAT I HAVEN' TAKEN HER OUT SOMEWHERE.
[CAR HORN HONKS]
OH, THAT'S TYLER.
I GOTTA GO.
[TEXT MESSAGE CHIMES]
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
STATUS UPDATE,
CRISIS. ASHLEY
LOST HER PHONE.
[CHUCKLES FONDLY]
[]
SNIFF, SIP, SPIT.
[SIGHS]
WHAT? IT WAS TOO GOOD
TO SPIT OUT.
YOU'RE RIGHT,
WHAT WAS I THINKING?
HOW MANY OF THIS
ARE WE ALLOWED TO HAVE?
AS MUCH AS WE WANT.
OH, BOY.
ROB, SEND A BOTTLE
OF THE '92 COTE DE NUITS
TO OUR TABLE.
6:00 RESERVATIONS.
TRISH, THANKS
FOR MAKING THE TRIP UP.
WELL, THERE IS NO PLACE
THAT I WOULD RATHER BE.
AND I DO SAY THA TO ALL MY CLIENTS,
BUT THIS TIME,
I ACTUALLY MEAN IT.
THIS PLACE LOOKS FANTASTIC.
THANKS IN
NO SMALL PART TO YOU.
[CHUCKLES]
THIS IS LAURA MILLER,
THIS IS MY DEAREST FRIEND.
SHE'S ALSO AN ARCHITECT.
THERE'S NO PLACE
I'D RATHER BE EITHER,
TRUST ME.
YOU'RE WITH
TRISH'S FIRM?
NO, BUT SHE SHOULD BE.
[]
[LAUGHING AND CHATTING]
LAURA WAS
THE STAR STUDEN AT OUR ARCHITECTURAL
SCHOOL.
WHY'D YOU STOP
PRACTICING, LAURA?
I HAD KIDS.
IN FACT, I THINK THE LAS GLASS OF WINE I HAD
CAME FROM A BOX
AT A PTA MEETING.
I CAN RELATE.
ACTUALLY, I HAVE THREE,
I'VE INCLUDING MY HUSBAND.
HAVE YOU BEEN
TALKING TO MY WIFE?
SHE SAYS THE SAME THING.
SHE'S A FULL-TIME
MOM, TOO.
HARDEST JOB IN THE WORLD.
IN MY NEXAS SOMETHINGINK
I'M GOINGLESS STRESSFUL.
LIKE AN AIR TRAFFIC
CONTROLLER.
TRISH, WHERE HAVE YOU
BEEN HIDING HER?
UM, UNDER
40 POUNDS OF LAUNDRY.
EXACTLY.
DO YOU WANT TO
GO OVER THE PLANS
FOR SAN FRANCISCO?
YEAH, LET'S HAVE A LOOK.
OKAY, SO...
I'M THINKING HARD ROCK CAFE
MEETS HOUSE OF BLUES.
BUT...
WE EXPAND THE STAGE
AND THE BAR,
WE REPOSITION THE ENTRANCE
TO THE NORTH SIDE
OF THE BUILDING.
IT'S BETTER LIGH AND IT'S BETTER WALK-BY TRAFFIC.
EVERYTHING ELSE
IS BUILD-OUT.
INTERESTING.
WHAT DO YOU THINK, LAURA?
ME?
YOU REALLY WANT MY OPINION?
OF COURSE, HE DOES.
YOU THINK
THIS FREE MEAL
DOESN'T COME AT A PRICE?
[LAUGHING]
I THINK IT WORKS.
MOVING THE ENTRANCEWAY
MAKES SENSE.
YOU COULD ALSO ADD A COUPLE
OF WELL-PLACED WINDOWS
NEAR THE FACADE.
MAYBE INCREASE THE ARCHWAY?
OOH, WHAT ABOU BUILDING THE BAR
INTO A GUITAR SHAPE?
I LIKE IT.
YOU DO?
WEYOU DO NOT GIVE HIM A CHANCE
SAYS HETO CHANGE HIS MIND.
TRUE.
NOW, I HOPE
YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, LADIES.
I HAVE ANOTHER APPOINTMENT.
I RECOMMEND THE
CREME BRULEE FOR DESSERT,E.
IT'S OUT OF THIS WORLD.
AND WE'LL GET BACK TO YOUME
AT THE END OF THE WEEK.N UP
IN YOUR NEXT LIFE,
DON'T COME BACK
AS AN AIR TRAFFIC
CONTROLLER.
COME BACK AS AN ARCHITECT.
OKAY.
[]
[LAUGHING]
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
[]
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
EXCUSE ME, YOUR...
HELLO?
UH, WHO IS THIS?
RICHIE.
RICHIE WHO?
THE BUS BOY.
WHO'S THIS?
[ELLA]: HI RICHIE!
[RAUCOUS CHEERING FROM PARTY]
BUT HE'S CUTE.
WHY... WHY ARE YOU
ANSWERING MY WIFE'S PHONE?
THAT'S YOUR WIFE?
THAT GIRL CAN TEAR IT UP.
WHAT?
TOLD YOU.
OKAY, COME ON, BABY.
MAMA NEEDS
A NEW PAIR OF SHOES!
[ALL CHEERING]
[LAUGHING]
THIS IS SO EASY!
I NEED SLEEP.
IT'S EARLY.
IT'S 1:00
IN THE MORNING.
WE HAVEN'T EVEN HI THE BLACKJACK TABLES YET.
OH, MY GOSH,WEDDING
WE SHOULD TOTALLY CRASH IT,M.
LIKE WE DID IN HIGH SCHOOL, HMM?
UH, FORGET IT.
AND YOU DON'T NEED TO LIVE
AN ENTIRE LIFETIME
IN ONE WEEKEND.
YEAH, EASY
FOR YOU TO SAY.
OKAY, COME ON,
COME ON...
I'M GOING BACK TO THE ROOM.
ARE YOU COMING?
[BLOWING]
THIS IS IT.
THIS IS IT!
HERE WE GO. HERE WE GO.
THIS IS IT.
[ALL CHEERING AND SCREAMING]
I'VE CREATED A MONSTER.
GO, LAURA
GO, LAURA, GO, LAURA...
[]
[MUSIC BLASTING]
[]
[TURNS OFF STEREO]
[STUMBLING]
HEY, GOOD MORNING.
WOULD YOU LIKE
SOME ORANGE JUICE?
COFFEE.
BLACK.
[CHUCKLING]
ORANGE JUICE IT IS.
THIS IS SO WEIRD.
MOM NOT BEING HERE
ON MOTHER'S DAY.
YEAH, I KNOW.
HEY, HOW ABOUT WE TACKLE
THAT MATH HOMEWORK YOU HAVE
TODAY?
ARE YOU GOOD AT MATH?
I USED TO BE.
YOU KNOW, KICK A SOCCER BALL
AROUND OR SOMETHING.
REALLY?
YEAH.
I THINK I'VE BEEN PROBABLY
WORKING TOO MUCH LATELY.
I'VE BEEN MISSING
SOME OF THE STUFF
THAT WE USED TO
DO TOGETHER.
THERE'S STILL TIME.
I'M ONLY 14.
[SCOFFS] 12.
UM, HEY, WAIT,
WHAT ABOUT PANCAKES?
YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE PANCAKES?
UH, WELL...
[CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY]
THERE'S ALWAYS A FIRST TIME
FOR EVERYTHING.
COME ON, I'LL SHOW YOU.
I MADE THIS FOR HER
LAST MOTHER'S DAY.
I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE KEPT IT.
ME EITHER.
WHAT ABOU YOUR UGLY POT HOLDER?
SHE STILL USES THAT.
YEAH, WELL,
WHAT ABOU YOUR THREE-LEGGED ROOSTER?
NEED I SAY MORE?
WE'RE OUT OF MILK.
WE SHOULD CALL MOM.
WELL, I MEAN,
SHE'S NOT GONNA...
DRIVE BACK HERE
JUST TO BRING US MILK.
NO, I MEANT...
I MEANT, CALL HER
AND WISH HER
A HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY.
HEY... THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
BUT, YOU KNOW,
IT'S EARLY.
MAYBE WE SHOULD WAIT TILL
SHE SLEEPS IN A LITTLE BIT.
SHE NEVER SLEEPS IN.
HI. THIS IS LAURA.
PLEASE LEAVE ME A MESSAGE.
THANK YOU.
SHE'S NOT ANSWERING.
ROOM SERVICE!
I RAN INTO DON
IN THE LOBBY
AND HE SEN ALL OF THIS UP.
LOOK, DOUBLE ESPRESSOS,
BACON AND EGGS,
O.J., NO PULP.
AND FRENCH TOAST.
"PAIN GRILLE FRANCAIS."
HAVE YOU BEEN UP ALL NIGHT?
I TRIED CALLING YOU.
I LOST TRACK OF TIME.
I DON'T KNOW, MY PHONE DIED.
I WAS TOO BUSY... WINNING.
$20?
THAT'S RIGHT,
SISTER.
YOU SPENT ALL NIGH WINNING $20?
THE POINT IS, I WON.
COME ON, GET UP.
I BOOKED US FOR ZIP-LINING,
A HORSEBACK RIDING TOUR.
OH, AND WE GOT INVITED
TO THE O'HARA-GOLDBERG WEDDING.
WHAT?
YEAH, SWEETEST COUPLE.
I MET THEM LAST NIGHT.
OR MAYBE IT WAS THIS MORNING,
I DON'T REMEMBER.
THEY'RE HAVING
A MICHAEL BUBLE IMPERSONATOR
PERFORM
THE CEREMONY.
UH, ONE WORD.
NO.
NO TO MICHAEL BUBLE?
OH, NO TO ZIPLINING.
NO TO ALL OF IT.
I CAN BARELY MOVE
AFTER THREE HOURS OF DANCING.
YOU KNOW WHA WOULD FIX THAT?
A MASSAGE...
WHAT DO YOU WANT,
SWEDISH OR WATSU?
"WATSU?"
WATER SHIATSU.
I'LL CALL HER.
I'LL CALL HER.
HI. CONCIERGE, PLEASE.
-CONCIERGE.
-CASSANDRA, IT'S LAURA.
[LAUGHING]
I KNOW, RIGHT?
WASN'T THAT FUN?
OKAY, SO WHAT'S
THE BEST MASSAGE HERE?
OKAY, GREAT.
SHE SAYS JIN SHIN DO.
YEAH, BOOK IT.
FOR TWO.
AND YOU SHOULD JUST THROW IN
SOME SEAWEED WRAPS, RIGHT?
WE'RE HERE.
[LAUGHING] OKAY, GIRL.
BYE-EE!
[BEEPS PHONE OFF]
ET VOILA.
[MOCK SOBBING] WHO ARE YOU?
OH, TIME TO
GET UP, GET UP...
NO, NO, NO!
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY.
OH, RIGHT, I FORGOT.
WELL, MAYBE
YOU SHOULD CALL HOME.
THEY'RE FINE.
I'LL CALL LATER.
WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GIRL
THAT WAS CALLING EVERY HOUR?
I JUST HAD A BRILLIANT IDEA.
WE'RE GOING TO GO
TO THE EIFFEL TOWER.
THIS SUMMER,
PARIS, YOU AND ME.
I MEAN, JUST BECAUSE
MICHAEL CAN'T GO
DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T GO.
WE'LL HAVE A GIRLS' WEEK,
WE'LL HAVE A GIRLS' TWO WEEKS.
I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO GO
WITH YOUR FAMILY.
I DO,
BUT MICHAEL KEEPS CANCELING,
AND, TRUTHFULLY,
I THINK THE KIDS WOULD RATHER
BE WITH THEIR FRIENDS.
AND CRUZ DONALDSON.
WHO'S CRUZ DONALDSON?
ONLY THE THIRD CUTEST BOY
IN ELLA'S SCHOOL,
AND MY FUTURE SON-IN-LAW,
APPARENTLY.
THIRD CUTEST, NOT TOO SHABBY.
[LAUGHS]
I FOUND A NOTEBOOK
IN ELLA'S ROOM.
IT SAID "MR. AND MRS.
CRUZ DONALDSON."
SHE'S NOT KEEPING HER NAME?
YOU SHOULD REALLY
TALK TO HER ABOUT THAT.
I SHOULD,
BUT THE MARRIAGE IS PROBABLY
ANNULLED BY NOW.
IT'S BEEN TWO WHOLE DAYS.
IT SEEMED LIKE YESTERDAY
THAT SHE WAS REPULSED BY BOYS.
MM-MM,
NOT ANYMORE.
NOW SHE FALLS IN LOVE
AT THE DROP OF A TEXT.
HMM.
SHE'S JUST LIKE WE USED TO BE.
I WISH I HAD YOUR LIFE
SOMETIMES.
OH, YEAH,
BECAUSE MY LIFE IS SO GLAMOROUS.
NO, IT'S 'CAUSE YOU HAVE
PEOPLE TO GO HOME TO.
YOU HAVE PEOPLE.
YEAH, BUT THOSE ARE
ACTUALLY JUST PEOPLE.
YEAH, BUT YOU HAVE
A GREAT LIFE.
NO, I HAVE A GREAT CAREER.
THAT'S HARDLY THE SAME THING.
YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND
THAT LOVES YOU.
AND YOU LOVE HIM.
MM-HMM.
HONESTLY, I...
I'M SCARED.
I KNOW.
SCARED OF BECOMING LIKE ME.
NO.
I'M SCARED OF
NOT BECOMING LIKE YOU.
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT,
CLEARLY, YOU'RE NOT AWAKE YET.
WE WILL REVISI THIS CONVERSATION
AFTER THAT DOUBLE ESPRESSO
KICKS IN.
IN THE MEANTIME,
I'M GOING TO GO CHECK OU THAT TRIPLE-JET STEAM SHOWER.
SAVE ME SOME RASPBERRIES.
VOICEMAIL.
VOICEMAIL?
SHE ALWAYS ANSWERS
ON THE FIRST RING.
I WISH SHE WAS HERE.
YEAH.
I MISS HER, TOO.
AND I...
I THINK I NEED TO
TELL HER THAT IN PERSON.
I'M GOING TO SPARKLING HILL.
BRING HER BACK, DAD.
TAKE THE SEDAN.
UH, THANK YOU.
IT'S MY CAR, SO...
VERY GENEROUS.
OKAY, ARE YOU TWO
GOING TO BE OKAY HERE
FOR A FEW HOURS?
I'LL... I'LL
LOOK AFTER THINGS.
[CHUCKLES]
WHY DON'T I FIND THA COMFORTING?
DAD, WE GOT THIS.
BEFORE I GO...
GROUND RULES.
RULES?
MM-HMM.
BUT YOU'RE THE GOOD COP.
WELL, NOT ANYMORE.
SO YOU'RE GOING TO BE
THE BAD COP?
I'M GOING TO BE A PARENT.
COME HERE.
[CLEARING THROAT]
LISTEN,
I LOVE YOU.
BUT...
I WANT YOU GUYS
TO CLEAN UP THE HOUSE
BEFORE YOUR MOTHER AND I
GET BACK.
START WITH YOUR ROOMS.
AND WE NEED TO REPLACE
KETHAT FLOWER POT,N,
AND WE'VE GOT GET A NEW CAKE
FROM THE BAKERY.
AND NO TWITTER, NO TUMBLR,
NO INSTAGRAM,
NO ANYTHING DOT-COM,
AND NO MAKEUP.
AND NO CRUZ DONALDSON.
I DON'T CARE
IF HE'S THE THIRD
OR FIRST CUTEST BOY
IN SCHOOL,
I DON'T CARE IF HE'S BRAD PITT.
BRAD PITT?
HE'S LIKE AN OLD MAN.
[CLEARING THROAT]
VACUUM CLEANER'S
IN THE HALL CLOSE AND THE MOP
IS IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM.
[DOOR SLAMS]
THIS IS RECYCLING,
NOT A BIRDHOUSE.
AND THIS GOES IN YOUR CLOSET,
ON A HANGER.
[DOOR SLAMS]
I LIKED IT BETTER
WHEN HE WAS ON THE PHONE
ALL THE TIME.
I DIDN'T.
[SIGHS] COME ON.
[LAUGHING]
HOW DO YOU NO WANT TO DO THIS?
UH, WHAT'S THE GRAPE,
AND REMIND ME
NEVER TO DRINK IT AGAIN.
[BABY CRYING AND FUSSING]
[SQUEAKING COMICALLY]
HI. I SEE YOU.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
NO CRYING.
HOW DID YOU DO THAT?
I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN TWO DAYS.
BABIES ARE EASY.
WAIT TILL YOU HAVE TEENAGERS.
IT GETS WORSE?
NO, I'M JOKING.
TEENAGERS ARE A JOY.
CAN I HOLD HIM?
OF COURSE.
COME HERE.
OH... YES, YOU ARE.
A BIG, BIG BOY.
AW...
YES, YOU ARE.
AW...
TRISH, LOOK AT THE BABY.
COME HERE, COME HERE.
HI.
OH, HE LIKES ME.
[CHUCKLING]
-DO YOU WANT TO HOLD HIM?
-NO...
YES, YOU DO.
YES, YOU DO...
OH...
BABAS... HI, BABAS...
OH, NO.
LOOK AT YOU.
YOU ARE A LITTLE MAN,
AREN'T YOU?
YOU'RE A LITTLE MAN...
OH, BOY.
[]
[WHISTLING]
THESE ARE AWESOME.
YOU'VE NEVER
NOTICED THEM BEFORE?
I'VE NEVER BEEN
IN THIS ROOM BEFORE.
MOM DID THEM
IN SCHOOL.
THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE
HER FIRST BUILDINGS.
SHE WAS REALLY GOOD.
YEAH.
IT'S PRETTY COOL
THAT SHE'S AN ARCHITECT.
MAYBE I SHOULD BECOME
AN ARCHITECT.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
GOING TO BE A MUSICIAN.
IT DOESN'T HURT TO HAVE
A BACK-UP PLAN.
WE SHOULD HANG THESE
IN A REAL ROOM.
HEY, THAT'S ACTUALLY
A DECENT IDEA.
YOUR FIRST.
[SIGHING]
JASON?
IT'S ME.
ARE YOU BUSY?
BECAUSE I WAS REALLY HOPING
THAT WE COULD TALK.
[SPRAY SQUIRTS]
HI!
-OH, TRISH.
-MICHAEL!
HI.
SORRY FOR BARGING IN
ON A GIRLS' WEEKEND.
IT'S OKAY. COME IN.
YEAH. OKAY, THANK YOU.
I TRIED CALLING,
BUT I REALLY WANTED TO
TALK TO HER IN PERSON.
IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
UH, NO.
I MEAN, MAYBE SHE TOLD YOU?
IT'S JUST--I'VE BEEN AN IDIOT.
UH, WELL, SHE DIDN'T EXACTLY
USE THE WORD "IDIOT."
WELL, SHE SHOULD HAVE.
I NEED TO TELL HER I'M SORRY,
AND THE KIDS ARE SORRY,
AND THAT...
YOU KNOW, WE NEED HER.
AND NOT JUS TO CLEAN UP OUR ROOMS.
WE CAN DO THA ON OUR OWN.
WE MISS HER.
YOU DROVE ALL THIS WAY
TO TELL HER THAT?
THAT'S REALLY SWEET.
WHERE IS SHE?
UH, LAST TIME I SAW HER,
SHE WAS GOING ZIP-LINING,
OR HORSEBACK RIDING...
WHAT?
COME ON, LET'S GO FIND HER.
WAIT...
[SIGHING]
OH, MAN.
I'VE NEVER CLEANED
A WHOLE HOUSE BEFORE.
YOU'VE NEVER CLEANED
YOUR ROOM BEFORE.
THAT BROOM GAVE ME A BLISTER.
MY NAILS ARE RUINED.
MY EYES ARE STILL STINGING
FROM THAT STUPID CLEANER.
MOM'S LIKE A SUPER-MOM.
I DON'T KNOW
HOW SHE DOES IT.
ME EITHER.
DON'T... TELL ANYONE
ABOUT THIS.
I DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO GE THE WRONG IDEA ABOUT ME.
TOO LATE.
I ALREADY INSTAGRAMMED YOU
MOPPING THE FLOOR.
WAIT, ARE YOU SERIOUS?
I MAY HAVE
TWEETED SOMETHING, TOO.
I THOUGHT DAD SAID
NO MORE SOCIAL MEDIA.
HE CAN'T EXPECT ME
TO QUIT COLD TURKEY.
I'M CUTTING BACK.
ONE TWEET AT A TIME.
THAT'S GOOD.
DO YOU THINK MOM AND DAD
ARE GOING TO BE OKAY?
YEAH.
I MEAN, IT'S MOM AND DAD.
THEY'RE NOT ACTING
LIKE MOM AND DAD.
I THINK WE'VE BEEN
TAKING THEM FOR GRANTED.
WE'RE NOT LITTLE KIDS ANYMORE.
WELL, I'M NOT.
OW.
OW...
LAURA?
MICHAEL?
[DON]: TRISH,
PERFECT TIMING.
WE WERE THINKING OF
ADDING A WALL OF CASKS
ON THE SOUTH END
WITH A TRUSS
MADE FROM WINE BOTTLES.
LAURA DREW UP
SOME GREAT PLANS.
[CHUCKLES]
DON, THIS IS MICHAEL MILLER,
THIS IS LAURA'S HUSBAND.
MICHAEL, THIS IS
DON HOLLAND.
HE'S THE REASON
THAT WE'RE HERE.
-NICE TO MEET YOU.
-YEAH, YOU TOO.
YOUR WIFE HAS
SOME GREAT IDEAS.
SHE'LL MAKE AN EXCELLEN ADDITION TO THE TEAM.
YES, DON ASKED ME
TO JOIN TRISH
ON THE RESTAURAN CONTRACTS.
WOW.
THAT'S-THAT'S GREAT.
SHE'S A BREATH
OF FRESH AIR.
YOU'RE ONE
LUCKY GUY.
I AM.
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
OH, SORRY,
I GOTTA TAKE THIS.
A PLEASURE TO MEE YOU, MICHAEL.
-TRISH, CAN I BORROW YOU?
-YEAH.
I, UH...
IT'S MY GRAND
ROMANTIC GESTURE.
WELL, THANK YOU,
THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL.
UM...
YOU KNOW, YOU LOOKED SO HAPPY
UP THERE, WORKING.
I JUST, I FELT LIKE
I HADN'T SEEN THAT EXPRESSION
ON YOUR FACE IN A WHILE.
[CHUCKLES]
IT'S BEEN A CRAZY FEW DAYS.
YEAH.
YEAH, FOR ME, TOO.
YOU KNOW, I CAME
BECAUSE I WAS HOPING TO
BRING YOU HOME.
I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN GO BACK
TO THE WAY THINGS WERE.
I KNOW.
DON WANTS TRISH AND ME
TO MEET THE GENERAL CONTRACTOR
TOMORROW,
SO I THINK I'M GOING TO STAY
ONE MORE NIGHT.
OH. OKAY.
WELL, I GUESS, YOU KNOW,
WE CAN TALK
WHEN YOU GET BACK HOME.
YEAH. OF COURSE.
LAURA,
CAN I STEAL YOU
AWAY FOR A MINUTE?
YEAH, SURE.
OKAY.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY.
YEAH.
[TRISH]: YEAH,
I WAS JUST TELLING DON
ABOUT THOSE PLANS
YOU CAME UP WITH--
ABOUT THAT GREAT IDEA,
[LAURA]: YEAH. THE TRUSS WANTS
TO BE 16 FEET OFF THE FLOOR,T.
SO IT BALANCES OFF
THE WINDOWS IN THE EAST WALL.
[TRISH]: MAYBE YOU CAN
COME UP WITH SOME MORE THINGS.
[LAURA]: I'M THINKING
THREE SUPPORTS-- 15 X 15...
WHERE'S MOM?
UH, SHE'S STILL THERE.
WELL, WHEN'S
SHE COMING HOME?
[CHUCKLES RUEFULLY]
I DON'T KNOW.
BUT WHEN SHE DOES,
WE'RE GOING TO
CELEBRATE MOTHER'S DAY.
I HAVE BEEN
LOOKING FOR YOU.
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR ME, TOO.
WHERE'S MICHAEL?
HE WENT HOME.
OH.
THE TRUTH IS,
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO BE
MORE LIKE THE OLD ME,
BUT I'M NOT EVEN SURE
I WANT TO BE HER ANYMORE.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE HER
ANYMORE EITHER.
YOU DON'T?
NO.
I JUST WANTED YOU
TO FIND A HAIRBRUSH
AND DITCH
THE SWEATPANTS.
[CHUCKLING]
YOU KNOW WHAT I REALIZED?
I COULD TRAVEL THE WORLD,
I COULD SWIM WITH DOLPHINS,
I COULD BUILD SKYSCRAPERS,
BUT NONE OF IT...
NONE OF IT WOULD MEAN ANYTHING
WITHOUT MICHAEL AND THE KIDS.
NO WORK IS MORE IMPORTAN THAN MY FAMILY.
I GOTTA GO HOME.
YOU KNOW,
I REALIZED SOMETHING
THIS WEEKEND, TOO.
I DON'T WANT TO BE
A MOVING TARGET.
I WANT WHAT YOU HAVE.
A MOM VAN
AND A REALLY BAD WARDROBE?
[LAUGHS]
A HOME...
AND SOMEONE TO GO BACK TO.
SHOULD WE GET OUT OF HERE?
OH, I WAS HOPING
YOU'D SAY THAT.
AW...
NOT A BAD GIRLS' WEEKEND, HUH?
BEST EVER.
I KNOW WE'RE BACK AND ALL,
BUT THERE IS AN OPEN POSITION
AT THE FIRM
IF YOU'RE INTERESTED.
REALLY?
YEAH, PART-TIME HOURS,
WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOU.
I WOULD LOVE THAT.
ME TOO.
[LAUGHING]
OKAY.
GIVE JASON MY BEST.
NO.
GIVE JASON YOUR BEST.
I WILL.
NOW, GET IN THERE.
MOTHER'S DAY
IS ALMOST OVER.
OOH.
[LAURA]: THANK YOU.
GOOD NIGHT.
DID I STEP INTO
AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE?
[TOGETHER]: MOM!
YOU'RE BACK!
HI.
OH.
HUGS.
I TOLD DAD YOU WOULDN'T MISS
MOTHER'S DAY.
I GUESS I'M PREDICTABLE
AFTER ALL.
WE GOT EVERYTHING
READY, JUST IN CASE.
WHO DID ALL OF THIS?
WHO CLEANED?
WE DID.
YOU SHOULD SEE MY ROOM.
F.Y.I., THE RINSE CYCLE STICKS
ON THE WASHING MACHINE.
MM.
HEY, DO YOU THINK
YOU COULD SHOW ME
HE'S THINKING ABOU SOBECOMING AN ARCHITECT.ES?
WELL, IF I DON' MAKE IT AS A MUSICIAN.
GOOD BACK-UP PLAN.
EXACTLY.
-FOR MOTHER'S DAY.
-OH.
I GOT YOU A PRESENT, TOO.
I DOWNLOADED
ALL THAT TERRIBLE
OLD MUSIC YOU LIKE,
SO YOU CAN LISTEN
TO IT IN THE CAR.
[DRYLY] THANK YOU.
OPEN MINE.
WOW.
I LOVE IT.
WHAT IS IT?
YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS,
RIGHT, MOM?
YEAH, UH...
YEAH, IT'S A DOORSTOP.
I MISSED YOU GUYS.
[MICHAEL]: NOT AS MUCH
AS WE MISSED YOU.
YOU CAME BACK.
WOW, THAT LOOKS LIKE
A REALLY BIG
FOR SALE SIGN.
THIS, YES, GREAT PROPERTY.
IT'S A NO BEDROOM,
NO BATH.
IT'S GOT A LONG ELEVATOR
AND A REALLY KILLER VIEW.
[CHUCKLING]
UM... [CLEARING THROAT]
LISTEN, I-I KNOW
THAT I HAVEN'T ACTED
LIKE I APPRECIATE
EVERYTHING THAT YOU DO,
AND EVERYTHING THAT YOU ARE,
BUT I DO.
I THINK I STARTED TO
TAKE US FOR GRANTED.
BUT I WANT TO BE
THE MAN THAT YOU MARRIED.
I MEAN, ALL THOSE THINGS
THAT YOU WANT TO DO,
LIKE SKYSCRAPERS AND DOLPHINS,
I THINK YOU SHOULD DO
EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.
WE'LL ALL DO THEM.
WE'LL MAKE NEW PLANS,
TOGETHER.
BESIDES,
I ALREADY DID
THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS,
AND THEY WEREN'T EVEN
ON MY LIST.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU.
AND I RUINED OUR LIVES
BY HAVING KIDS.
WHAT?
WAIT, WHAT?
L.O.L.
B.T.W.
WE'RE ALL
GOING TO PARIS.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
YUP.
NO CLIENT'S GOING TO
KEEP ME FROM MY FAMILY.
[TEXT ALERT SOUNDS]
WHAT...
DID YOU JUST IGNORE
YOUR PHONE?
YEAH.
I'M-I'M SHOCKED.
WHAT HAPPENED TO
CRUZ DONALDSON?
GROSS.
I'M SO OVER HIM.
[LAUGHS]
OKAY.
HEY.
[TURNS ON
ROMANTIC FRENCH MUSIC]
[]
[SWITCHES MUSIC
TO HIP-HOP DANCE MUSIC]
[]
NEW ANNUAL MOTHER'S DAY PHOTO.
OKAY!
WHOO!
[FLASHBULB POWERING UP]
[]
-HEY.
-HEY.
WHAT ARE WE
DOING HERE?
I WANTED TO TALK.
RIGHT, YOU DIDN'T WANT TO
CREATE A SCENE AT THE OFFICE.
WHAT?
BREAKING UP
IN A PUBLIC PLACE
MAKES IT EASIER, I GET IT.
BUT WHY HERE?
I MEAN, THIS IS
WHERE WE MET.
NO, WE MET AT DON'S
CHRISTMAS PARTY.
RIGHT.
YEAH. [CHUCKLES]
I ASKED YOU HERE...
BECAUSE I WAN OUR LIVES TO CHANGE.
I WANT TO BE WITH YOU.
AND NOT JUST IN THE OFFICE.
SO IF YOU'RE STILL IN,
I AM, TOO.
[CLEARS THROAT]
YOU'RE, UH, YOU'RE IN?
THE HOUSE, THE DOG, THE KIDS,
THE WHOLE MISERABLE THING.
[LAUGHS] THAT DOES
SOUND MISERABLE.
-BONJOUR.
-BONJOUR.
-CA VA?
-CA VA BIEN.
OUI. MOI AUSSI.
TRES, TRES BIEN.
JE NE VOUDRAIS PAS
UN TABLE DE FENETRE.
OUI--
BUT WHY WOULDN'T YOU WAN A TABLE BY THE WINDOW?
RIGHT?
RIGHT?
WHY AM I LEARNING THAT?
[LAUGHING]
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
OH. EXCUSEZ-MOI.
YEAH.
YEAH, I CAN,
OF COURSE, YEAH.
UH, OKAY, IT'LL
HAVE TO BE MONDAY.
I'M NOT WORKING TODAY.
WELL, FUNNY
YOU SHOULD ASK.
BECAUSE
IT'S MOTHER'S DAY.
OKAY, HOLD ON.
[CAR APPROACHING]
MM! THEY'RE HERE.
THEY'RE HERE.
COME ON.
THEY DON'T KNOW
WE'RE HERE.
ARE THEY HERE?
OH! HEY, FRIEND!
HEY!
HOW ARE YA?
[LAUGHING HAPPILY]
AH, THERE SHE IS.
HI! HOW ARE YOU.
NICE TO SEE YOU.
YOU LOOK GREAT.
[SQUEALING IN EXCITEMENT]
[GIGGLING]
SO, HOW'S THE MINIVAN?
IT'S AWFUL.
[LAUGHING]
HOW'S THE BEEMER?
IT'S GREAT.
YEAH, IT IS.
MOM, IT'S A DISASTER!
LIAM KUMASAKA
HAS A GIRLFRIEND!
LIAM KUMASAKA?
ONLY THE FIFTH CUTES BOY IN SCHOOL.
OH, RIGHT.
YOU READY FOR ALL THIS?
ABSOLUTELY.
YOU SURE
YOU DON'T NEED
MOTHER'S DAY OFF?
YEAH.
I'M EXACTLY WHERE I WANT TO BE.
ME TOO.
[SQUEALING FONDLY]
WATCH ME.
OH, BABY COMIN' THROUGH.
BABY COMIN'.
[LAUGHING]
[CHATTING AND GIGGLING]
OKAY, STAIRS.
[LAUGHING]
[BRANDON]: MOM,
WE'RE OUT OF MILK!
[]
FOR THE SORRYS
OH, THE SORRYS OF YOUR SOUL
THEY ARE THE WORRIES
ARE THE WORRIES
OF MY HOUSEHOLD
I HEAR THE WIND A HOWLIN'
AT MY SWINGING DOOR
BUT AT YOUR HOUSE
THE WEATHER'S PLEASANT
NOTHING MORE
I AM BEHIND...
I AM BEHIND
OH, NEVER MIND
I WILL NOT PINE
FOR I AM MINE
OH, THE TIME IS NEAR
FOR YOU TO ROMANCE EVERY BOY
WELL, I AM STILL A-LEARNING
HOW I SHOULD BE COY
AND YOU DECIDED
YOU WOULD EDUCATE ME
WHILE CONVERSING
OVER A NICE SPOT OF TEA
I AM BEHIND...
I AM BEHIND
OH, NEVER MIND
I WILL NOT PINE
FOR I AM MINE
I AM BEHIND...
I AM BEHIND
OH, NEVER MIND
I WILL NOT PINE
FOR I AM MINE
I AM BEHIND
I AM BEHIND...
I AM BEHIND
I AM BEHIND...
OH, NEVER MIND
I WILL NOT PINE
FOR I AM MINE
AND I SUPPOSE THAT I
WILL NEVER BE EXPOSED...
[]
YEAH, I CAN'T.
I'M SHOWING
THE OAK STREET HOUSE.
THAT LOOKS GOOD.
THREE BED WITH THREE BATHS,
STREET PARKING.
NO!
HANDS OFF,
BAKE SALE.
THAT'S ONLY ONE BITE.
I THINK THE TEETH MARKS
NO ONE'S MIGHT GIVE IT AWAY.
NO,
WELL, THEY COULD
CONVERT THE GARAGE
INTO A HOME GYM.
HAVE YOU SEEN MY GOOD JACKET?
YEAH, THEY'RE WITH
YOUR NOT-SO-GOOD PANTS
AT THE CLEANERS.
RIGHT, CAN YOU--
PICK THEM UP,
DELIVER THEM TO YOUR OFFICE?
OF COURSE.
RIGHT, I CAN BE THERE
IN 15 MINUTES.
OH, GOOD!
THAT GIVES US 14 MINUTES
TO TAKE OUR ANNUAL PHOTO.
FOR WHAT?
MOTHER'S DAY.
MOTHER'S DAY ALREADY?
IT'S SUNDAY.
OH... [BLUSTERING]
WELL, YEAH, RIGHT, I KNEW THAT.
DID YOU REMEMBER
TO RESET THE SPRINKLERS?
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
UH... I...
UH... MICHAEL MILLER.
DROP THOSE KEYS.
DAD SAID
THAT I COULD DRIVE.
AFTER OUR
MOTHER'S DAY PHOTO.
MOTHER'S DAY?
DIDN'T WE JUST DO THAT?
YEAH, A YEAR AGO.
AH, AH, AH!
SORRY.
BAKE SALE.
CAN'T YOU MAKE ANOTHER ONE?
I COULD.
BUT THIS ONE TOOK SIX HOURS,
SO NO.
WELL, I'M GETTING A TATTOO.
FANTASTIC.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING
TO BE LIVING?
O.M.G.
CRUZ DONALDSON IS
FOLLOWING ME ON TWITTER!
UM, I THOUGHT WE SAID
NO TWEETING,
AND WHO IS CRUZ DONALDSON?
STATUS UPDATE,
THE THIRD CUTEST BOY AT SCHOOL.
OH.
WAIT A SECOND...
ARE YOU WEARING MAKEUP?
I'M ALMOST 14.
YOU'RE 12.
BUT IT'S MOTHER'S DAY WEEKEND.
IT'S A SPECIAL OCCASION.
YES, THAT MEANS
THAT I GET TO WEAR MAKEUP,
BUT THANK YOU
FOR REMEMBERING.
WE MADE PRESENTS
AT SCHOOL.
AW...
THANKS, HONEY.
OPEN IT.
AH...
I LOVE IT.
WHAT IS IT?
YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS,
RIGHT, MOM?
YEAH. IT'S, UM...
IT'S A NAPKIN CADDY.
IT IS?
I LOVE IT, HONEY.
I'LL USE IT EVERY DAY.
OKAY...
READY?
SMILE!
[TIMER WHINING]
[SPRINKLER HISSING]
[SHRIEKING]
[PRINTER WHIRRS]
UM, HEY, DON' FORGET THE CLEANERS.
DON'T FORGET PARIS.
'KAY.
DAD SAID I COULD BORROW
10 BUCKS FOR GAS.
ELLA, COME ON!
I'LL SEE YOU AT THE GAME.
ACTUALLY, MOM,
YOU DON'T NEED TO GO.
I ALWAYS GO TO YOUR GAMES.
NONE OF THE OTHER MOMS
GO ANYMORE.
OH.
OKAY, WELL, DO YOU HAVE YOUR--
WATER AND SHIN GUARDS? YES.
AND SHE'LL
PUT ON SUNBLOCK
AND SHE'LL CALL YOU.
AM I THAT PREDICTABLE?
YOU CAN'T HELP IT,
IT'S WHO YOU ARE.
B.T.W., MOM,
DON'T FORGET TO CORREC MY MATH HOMEWORK.
AND CAN YOU DROP
MY PROJECT OFF AT ASHLEY'S?
OH, WE'RE OUT OF O.J.
NO PULP.
THIS IS WHY SOME MOTHERS
EAT THEIR YOUNG.
[]
[SIGHING DEEPLY]
"JE NE VOUDRAIS PAS
D'UNE TABLE DE FENETRE."
"JE NE VOUDRAIS PAS
D'UNE TABLE DE FENETRE."
"I WOULD NOT LIKE
A TABLE BY THE WINDOW."
WAIT, WHY WOULDN'T I LIKE
A TABLE BY THE WINDOW?
[SIGHING DREAMILY]
AH, PARIS...
[DOORBELL RINGS]
TRISH!
LAURA!
[LAUGHING HAPPILY]
AH...
COME IN, COME IN.
WHEN DID YOU GET BACK?
THIS MORNING.
I CALLED. DIDN' MICHAEL TELL YOU?
HE MUST HAVE FORGOTTEN.
PRESENTS FOR THE KIDS.
AGAIN?
YOU JUST SENT THEM
ALL THAT STUFF FROM JAPAN.
HOW ELSE AM I GOING TO
GET THEM TO LIKE ME?
ARE YOU KIDDING?
YOU'RE THEIR IDOL.
YOU'RE MY IDOL.
LOOK AT YOU,
YOU LOOK GREAT.
YOU LOOK, UH...
LIKE I'VE BEEN IN A HAIR-NADO?
I KNOW.
THERE'S A NEW INVENTION,
IT'S CALLED "A BRUSH."
I THINK I'VE HEARD OF IT.
IT'S REALLY GOOD TO SEE YOU.
-HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN?
-CHRISTMAS.
THAT LONG?
HUH.
WHAT'S WITH ALL THE POST-ITS?
THAT IS OUR NEW MODE
OF COMMUNICATION.
HUH.
NEW COUCH.
OLD COUCH.
WE RE-UPHOLSTERED.
WE GOT RID OF
THE PIZZA TONE
AND THE GRAPE JUICE TRIM.
[LAUGHS]
[SIGHING]
[LAUGHING HAPPILY]
WHERE IS EVERYBODY?
WORKING, DRIVING MY CAR,
STEALING MY MAKEUP.
WELL, AT LEAST SOMEBODY'S
WEARING YOUR MAKEUP.
[GASPS] I JUST HAD
THE BEST IDEA.
I'M HERE FOR
THREE WHOLE DAYS.
WHY DON'T WE HAVE
A GIRLS' WEEKEND?
OH, I'D LOVE TO.
BUT...
I'M SORRY.
YOU'RE TURNING ME DOWN AGAIN?
IT'S MOTHER'S DAY WEEKEND.
IT IS?
AM I THE ONLY PERSON
ON EARTH
WHO KNOWS THIS IS A HOLIDAY?
WELL, IF I HAD KIDS,
I'D BE UP ON THESE THINGS.
AND IF I DIDN'T HAVE KIDS,
I WOULD GO.
BUT WE HAVE A TRADITION.
MICHAEL TAKES ME FOR DINNER
AND THEN WE TAKE THE KIDS
ON A HIKE,
THEN WE DO SUNDAY BRUNCH.
IT'S CORNY,
I KNOW.
NO, THAT SOUNDS FUN.
IT IS FUN.
[CHUCKLING]
OOH-LA-LA.
ARE YOU FINALLY GOING?
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.
[SIGHS]
I'M GOING
TO CALL CHARLES.
WEAND HE CAN GIVE YOU ANC ARCHITECTURAL TOUR OF THE CITY.
MERCI BEAUCOUP.
[LAUGHING]
I'M TAKING YOU OUT FOR LUNCH,
SOMEPLACE FANCY.
WHY? I'LL JUST MAKE US
SOMETHING HERE.
PB AND J?
OH, UH, CHICKEN TENDERS?
I HAVE GRILLED CHEESE.
I HAVE AN EXPENSE ACCOUNT.
HMM.
[CHUCKLING]
THIS IS TOO NICE.
[CHUCKLES]
NO SUCH THING.
AND YOU ARE NOT ORDERING.
NO EPIC DAY EVER STARTED WITH,
"CAN I HAVE
A GRILLED CHEESE, PLEASE."
[CHUCKLES]
HI, FRANK.
WE WILL HAVE
THE LOBSTER SALAD FOR TWO.
OYSTERS ON
THE HALF SHELL.
WE WILL START WITH
THE CAVIAR CHEESE PLATE,
FOLLOWED BY
THE FRENCH ONION SOUP,
IN HONOR OF MADAME,
BECAUSE SHE'S GOING
TO FRANCE.
AND THEN WE'LL TAKE A BITE
OUT OF EVERY DESSERT YOU HAVE.
[GIGGLING]
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY WEEKEND.
AND TO YOU,
MY OLDEST FRIEND,
WHO HAPPENS TO LOOK
10 YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME.
[CHUCKLING]
SO, WHAT'S GOING ON
WITH JASON?
HE'S GREAT.
AND?
WE SEE EACH OTHER
WHEN WE SEE EACH OTHER.
WELL, IF YOU STUCK AROUND MORE,
YOU WOULD SEE EACH OTHER MORE.
YOU CAN'T HIT A MOVING TARGET.
BESIDES, WE'RE ALREADY PARTNERS.
YEAH, IN THE FIRM,
BUT NOT IN LIFE.
THAT'S NOT THE SAME THING.
TRUTH IS,
HE WANTS TO SETTLE DOWN,
AND HE'S ABSOLUTELY
THE KIND OF GUY
I'D LIKE TO SETTLE DOWN WITH,
IF I WERE READY.
WELL, WHEN WILL YOU BE READY?
I DON'T KNOW.
HE LOVES YOU.
YOU LOVE HIM.
IT'S BEEN THREE YEARS,
I'M JUST SAYING.
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
OH, THAT'S SO FUNNY,
JASON LOOKS JUST LIKE
A RESTAURANT.
HA, HA, HA.
IT'S TOKYO'S FINEST.
WE FINISHED IT LAST WEEK.
IT'S EAST MEETS WEST--
WITH A POST-MODERN EDGE.
PERFECT.
DO YOU EVER WONDER
WHAT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE
IF WE'D ACTUALLY OPENED
OUR OWN
ARCHITECTURAL FIRM?
YEAH, BUT THOSE WERE KIDS
WITH THOSE DREAMS.
YEAH, KIDS WITH BIG IDEAS.
IT'S TOO BAD
PLANS AREN'T BLUEPRINTS.
YEAH. YOU'RE RIGHT.
I COULD BE BUILDING
RESTAURANTS IN TOKYO.
YOU BUILT A FAMILY.
[]
[CHUCKLES]
NICE PARK JOB.
LAST WEEK,
HE TOOK OU TWO DOZEN TULIPS.
I ALMOST FORGOT.
LOOK WHAT I FOUND
IN THE BACK
OF MY CLOSET.
OH, MY GOSH,
I HAVEN'T SEEN THA IN FOREVER.
OH, NO.
LOOK AT OUR HAIR!
I GUESS WE DIDN'T HAVE
PEOPLE BACK THEN.
I GUESS WE DIDN'T HAVE
MIRRORS EITHER.
[LAUGHING]
"TRISH DANVILLE,
MOST HELPFUL."
GAG.
MOST LIKELY TO LEAD
AN ADVENTUROUS LIFE?"
CLASS PRESIDENT,
HEAD CHEERLEADER,
CHORUS--
SWIM TEAM!
REMEMBER THAT?
I'M EVOLVING.
IN REVERSE.
KEEP IT TILL NEXT TIME.
OKAY.
TILL NEXT TIME.
[HONKS GOODBYE]
[SIGHS]
[SIGHING]
YES. YES, NO.
I CAN SEND YOU THE COMPS.
OKAY.
OKAY, BYE.
HONEY, DID YOU GO
TO THE CLEANERS?
I'M INVISIBLE.
WHAT?
I HAD ALL THESE DREAMS,
AND I JUST...
STOPPED.
YOU STOPPED WHAT?
DOING THINGS.
HONEY, YOU DO
LOTS OF THINGS.
TRISH IS HAVING THE LIFE
THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE.
TRISH. OH, YEAH.
SHE CALLED THIS MORNING.
WE WERE GOING TO DO
ALL THESE THINGS.
WE WERE GONNA GO SEE
THE EIFFEL TOWER,
AND SWIM WITH DOLPHINS,
AND BUILD SKYSCRAPERS,
AND NOW LOOK,
MY TO DO LIST IS ON A FRIDGE--
"CLEANERS,
O.J., NO PULP."
IS THAT ELLA'S
MOTHER'S DAY PRESENT?
WHAT?
NO, THE TABLE
WAS WOBBLING.
[GROANING]
WHAT IS IT?
IT'S A NAPKIN CADDY.
PAST TENSE.
[CLUCKS]
DO WE HAVE TO TELL HER?
MAYBE I CAN FIX IT.
HEY, DO YOU REMEMBER
WHEN WE WERE DECIDING
BETWEEN GETTING A DOG
AND HAVING KIDS?
YES.
WE WERE DECIDING BETWEEN
RUINING OUR CARPETS
AND RUINING OUR LIVES.
TONIGHT...
I'LL TAKE YOU ANYWHERE.
ANYWHERE?
YEAH.
I WANT TO GO DANCING.
COME ON, WE ALWAYS
USED TO GO DANCING.
THAT WAS BEFORE
WE WERE MARRIED.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
I WAS TRYING TO
IMPRESS YOU BACK THEN.
OH... WELL,
IMPRESS ME NOW.
IT'LL BE FUN.
[SIGHS]
ANYTHING BUT THAT.
I'M JUS NOT IN THE MOOD.
WE'LL HAVE TO DANCE
IN PARIS.KAY, FINE.
IT'S OKAY, WE'LL DANCE
UNDER THE EIFFEL TOWER...
[CHUCKLES SHEEPISHLY]
WHAT'S WRONG?
I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO TELL YOU THIS.
THEN DON'T.
I'M SORRY,
BUT THE MAPLE STREET COMPLEX
IS CLOSING THAT WEEK,
THE CLIENTS
ARE FLYING IN.
I HAVE TO BE HERE.
THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID LAST YEAR,
AND THE YEAR
BEFORE THAT--
NO, I KNOW. I'M SORRY.
IT'S JUST...
LOOK, WE CAN GO NEXT SUMMER,
I PROMISE.
HEY, MOM.
HEY. [SNAPPING FINGERS]
GET BACK HERE.
YOUR LIPS LOOK
VERY RED.
RED VELVET CAKE RED.
[GROANS IN EXASPERATION]
OH, GOD...
THERE IS A LAYER MISSING.
JUS THE BOTTOM ONE.
YOU CAN'T EVEN
SEE IT.
MAYBE NO ONE
WILL NOTICE IT.
WHAT?
OKAY, WAIT,
DO YOU THINK I LIKE
PICKING UP AND SCRAPING
THREE-DAY-OLD PIZZA
UP OFF YOUR FLOOR?
OR YOU--DO YOU THINK
I LIKE HANGING AND REHANGING
YOUR FIVE DAILY
WARDROBE CHANGES?
DO YOU THINK I LIKE
THAT YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME,
AND THAT I'M ALWAYS WRONG,
AND THAT I'M ALWAYS SAYING "NO,"
AND THAT I'M ALWAYS
THE BAD COP?
DON'T ANSWER THAT.
KNOW WHAT?
I'M SPENDING THE WEEKEND
AT TRISH'S.
WAIT...
REMIND ME NEVER TO LOAN MY CAR
TO SOMEONE I GAVE BIRTH TO.
HEY, HON'...
HONEY...
HONEY, IT'S...
IT'S MOTHER'S DAY WEEKEND.
[SIGHING]
I'M TAKING MOTHER'S DAY OFF.
HERE'S A STATUS UPDATE,
YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.
[CLEARS THROAT AWKWARDLY]
WE HAD A FIGHT.
I'M SORRY.
IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
IT'S JUST THAT NO ONE
WARNS YOU ABOUT THIS STUFF
WHEN YOU FALL IN LOVE.
YOU GET MARRIED, YOU HAVE KIDS,
YOU HIT THE GROUND DIAPERING,
AND ONE DAY, YOU WAKE UP,
AND YOU BARELY
RECOGNIZE YOURSELF.
IS THIS 'CAUSE I SHOWED
YOU THAT YEARBOOK?
NO.
I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE
BURNED THAT THING.
FORGET IT.
THE LAST TIME WE HAD
ITA GIRLS' WEEKEND,.
WE WERE ACTUALLY GIRLS.
OH, YOU REDECORATED.
I LOVE IT.
I HAD MY PEOPLE DO IT.
AND YOU HAVE PEOPLE.
OH, IT'S SO CLEAN.
OH, JUST GOT TO FIX THIS.
STOP.
STOP. I HAVE
A HOUSEKEEPER.
I CAN'T HELP IT.
DON'T MAKE MY BED.
DON'T MAKE MY BED.
YOU KNOW I HAVE TO.
OKAY, I CAN SEE
WE'RE GOING TO NEED
TO DEPROGRAM YOU.
WHY?
DO YOU HAVE PEOPLE
FOR THAT, TOO?
IT'S CALLED "A PSYCHIATRIST."
YOU'VE GOTTEN BOSSY
IN YOUR OLD AGE.
WELL, ONE OF US HAS TO BE.
I'LL JUST FLUFF THIS FOR YA.
[LAUGHING] DON' FLUFF MY PILLOWS.
IT'S NOT FLUFFY--
DON'T FLUFF MY PILLOWS.
IT NEEDS TO BE...
[LAUGHING]
[PRACTICING GUITAR]
DO YOU THINK MOM'S
GONNA BE HERE SOON?
I'LL GIVE HER TILL DINNER.
IT WOULD BE COOL
IF MOM WAS MORE LIKE TRISH.
[LAUGHS] IT'D BE COOL
IF SHE HAD A CAR LIKE TRISH.
CAN YOU BELIEVE
THEY'RE THE SAME AGE?
MEH, AFTER, LIKE, 30,
IT'S ALL THE SAME.
DO YOU THINK MOM'S HAVING
A MID-LIFE CRISIS?
[LAUGHING] NO.
THAT JUST HAPPENS
TO GUYS.
NO, IT DOESN'T.
YEAH, IT DOES.
LIKE JOHN'S DAD?
HE JUST GOT A PORSCHE
AND HE WEARS SKINNY JEANS.
YEAH, WELL,
ASHLEY'S MOM BECAME A VEGAN
AND TOOK UP ZUMBA.
AT LEAST MOM STILL
EATS HAMBURGERS.
I'M HUNGRY.
ME TOO.
I HOPE SHE REMEMBERED
TO BUY MORE MAC AND CHEESE.
SHE DID.
IT'S LIKE WE'RE ON AUTO-PILOT,
AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHEN THE SWITCH GOT FLIPPED.
I MEAN, WHEN
THE KIDS WERE YOUNG,
AND MICHAEL
WAS STARTING OUT,
WE RELIED ON EACH OTHER.
AND NOW MICHAEL'S
WORKING ALL THE TIME
AND THE KIDS HAVE
THEIR OWN LIVES.
I MEAN, EVERYONE DOES,
EXCEPT ME.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU TOOK ANY TIME
FOR YOURSELF?
I TOOK A SHOWER THIS MORNING,
BUT THERE WAS
BARELY ANY HOT WATER.
[SCOFFS IN SYMPATHY]
YOU'VE BEEN IN
THE BACK SEAT FOR SO LONG
YOU'VE FORGOTTEN WHA THE FRONT SEAT FEELS LIKE.
DO YOU KNOW HOW BIG
A BACK SEAT IS IN A MINI-VAN?
DO YOU KNOW THAT MY CAR
HAS NO BACKSEAT?
[SIGHS]
NO BACK SEAT.
NO CARPOOLING.
NO STICKY FINGERS TRYING TO
CHANGE THE RADIO STATION.
AND HAVE YOU HEAD THE MUSIC?
AND THE LYRICS?
AND THEY PLAY IT SO LOUD...
AND WHAT IS WITH
THE NON-STOP TEXTING?
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE
SO IMPORTANT?
IT'S LIKE
THEY WORK FOR THE CIA.
[LAUGHS]
I SHOULD CALL HOME.
YOU JUS CAME FROM HOME,
AND YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE RELAXING.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
IT'LL JUST TAKE A MINUTE.
HEY, HON'.
HEY, I'M SORRY
I TOOK OFF LIKE THAT.
OH, NO, NO, NO, WE'RE SORRY.
YOU NEED A BREAK.
SO, JUST GO HAVE SOME FUN
WITH TRISH, OKAY?
OKAY.
OH, UM, QUICK QUESTION,
WHAT ARE THE GROUND RULES
FOR TWITTER AGAIN?
NO TWEETING, NO TUMBLR,
NO VINE, NO SNAPCHAT.
INSTAGRAM AND FACEBOOK
WITH PARENTAL SUPERVISION ONLY.
UH, HEY, YOUR MOTHER SAYS NO!
AND THEN BRANDON SAYS
HE NEEDS NEW STRINGS
FOR HIS GUITAR?
HE JUST GOT NEW STRINGS.
HE CAN USE
HIS OWN MONEY.
YOUR MOTHER SAYS
USE YOUR OWN MONEY!
[MICHAEL'S CELL PHONE RINGS]
OH, UH, HEY,
I'VE GOT TO TAKE THIS.
LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
SEE?
THEY'RE FINE.
HMM.
ALL RIGHT, BOB, GIVE ME
A CALL BACK AND LET ME KNOW.
OKAY, WHEN
YOU GET THERE...
[CLEARING THROAT EAGERLY]
WAIT, IT'S OKAY THAT I EA THE REST OF THIS, RIGHT?
UH, YEAH,
OF COURSE, IT IS.
IT'S RUINED ANYWAY.
YOU NEED TO CORREC MY MATH HOMEWORK.
OKAY, JUST LEAVE IT THERE.
I'LL DO IT LATER.
MOM AND I
DO IT TOGETHER.
SHE'S REALLY GOOD AT IT.
OKAY, ALL RIGHT, WELL--
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
JUST...
MICHAEL MILLER.
IT'S OKAY,
I'LL WAIT FOR MOM.
WAIT...
WHAT?
YOU SAID--
I DIDN'T--
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
THE ROOF IS LEAKING?
IT'S PRACTICALLY NEW.
I'M BORROWING
THE CAR, OKAY?
I'LL BE AT ASHLEY'S.
UH, YEAH.
IS THERE DAMAGES?
WHAT, WHAT ARE
THE DAMAGES?
OH, COME ON, YOU'VE GO TO BE KIDDING ME.
WELL... NO.
MAYBE I CAN GET RUPER TO COME DOWN...
[SIGHS HEAVILY]
EVERYTHING'S SO...
IN STYLE.
STEP AWAY FROM
THE SALES RACK.
UH-UH.
NO MOM CLOTHES.
OKAY.
YOU'RE LAURA AMES.
YOU'RE "GIRL MOST LIKELY
TO LEAD AN ADVENTUROUS--
I'M LAURA MILLER,
PREDICTABLE.
NOT ANYMORE.
WORK WITH ME.
TRY THESE.
NOTHING SHORT, OR TIGHT,
OR WITH COLOR,
IT EMBARRASSES MY KIDS.
TRY THEM ON.
[GROANS]
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.
UGH, I'M SO PALE!
SPRAY TAN.
ARE THESE MY THIGHS?
PILATES.
SOMETHING'S WRONG
WITH THE MIRROR.
THERE'S NOTHING
WRONG WITH THE MIRROR.
[SIGHING]
[SIGHS] OKAY.
COME ON OUT.
REALLY?
BACKWARDS?
-WHAT?
-NO BELT?
[IMITATES EXPLOSION]
WELCOME BACK, TRISH.
WELL, IT'S GOOD
TO BE BACK.
THIS IS LAURA.
THIS IS MY OLDEST FRIEND
IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
LAURA, ARE YOU READY
TO BE PAMPERED?
UH... PAMPERED?
HMM, I'M NOT QUITE SURE
I'M FAMILIAR WITH THAT TERM.
WELL, YOU WILL BE
AFTER TODAY.
OKAY.
LET'S GET STARTED.
OKAY.
READY?
I DON'T KNOW.
[GIGGLING]
YOU ARE GOING TO
LOVE THIS PLACE.
THERE'S
THE ROSE PETAL ROOM,
THE EUCALYPTUS ROOM...
JUST AS LONG AS IT'S
NOT THE LAUNDRY ROOM.
[LAUGHING]
[]
[]
UH-HUH.
I HAVE NOT SEEN
THIS GIRL IN A WHILE.
ME EITHER.
I LIKE HER.
ME TOO.
"JE NE VOUDRAIS PAS
D'UNE TABLE DE FENETRE."
[LAUGHS] WHAT?
"I DO NOT WAN A TABLE BY THE WINDOW."
BUT YOU REALIZE
WE'RE OUTSIDE.
I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO
GET TO SAY IT IN FRANCE.
EVEN IF YOU DID,
WHO DOESN'T WAN A WINDOW TABLE?
DID YOU SEE THE WAY
THAT GUY LOOKED AT YOU?
HE LOOKED AT YOU.
[LAUGHING] SEE?
HE MUST BE
LEGALLY BLIND.
I DIDN'T SEE A CANE.
-I SHOULD CALL HOME.
-YOU JUST CALLED.
THREE HOURS AGO.
THEY WANTED YOU TO BE
ENJOYING YOURSELF.
-I FEEL GUILTY.
-FOR LOOKING GOOD? DOING.
FOR LOOKING LIKE
SOMEONE ELSE.
YOU LOOK LIKE YOURSELF.
I'M NOT THIS PRETTY.
UGH, IS MY WORK HERE
NEVER DONE?
HANG ON ONE SECOND.
AH, AH, AH.
MICHAEL?
LAURA WANTS TO KNOW
IF EVERYTHING IS OKAY
SINCE LAST TIME
SHE CHECKED IN
THREE HOURS AGO.
SHE LOVES YOU, TOO.
THEY'RE FINE.
-OKAY, MAYBE I SHOUL--
-NO.
WELL, JUST IN CASE-
NO!
I AM KEEPING THIS.
OKAY.
[STEREO BLASTING]
[CRUNCHING]
YEAH, WELL, YOU HAVE
TO TELL THE BUYER THA THAT'S AN EASEMENT,
IT'S NOT A DOG RUN.
MM-HMM.
OKAY, YEAH,
I'LL HOLD.
WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT ME GETTING
A TATTOO?
AND BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING,
ALL THE GUYS IN THE BAND
ARE GETTING ONE.
[SIGHS AWKWARDLY] YEAH, UM...
YOU KNOW,
I THINK WE NEED TO ASK MOM.
SHE SAID NO.
HEY, BUT YOU ALWAYS
SAY YES, DAD.
IT'LL BE SO COOL.
AND BARELY
NOTICEABLE.
I COULD GET I ON MY FOOT,
SO IF I HAVE A JOB INTERVIEW
AT THE WHITE HOUSE
OR DONALD TRUMP
OR SOMETHING.
OH, GOOD,
THAT'S REASSURING.
YEAH, I KNOW.
WE'RE GETTING THE
NAME OF THE BAND.
"THE DECADENT MACHINE"?
NO, THAT WAS OUR LAST NAME.
WHAT?
YOU CHANGED YOUR NAME?
YEAH.
CRUZ DONALDSON
JUST UNFOLLOWED ME!
WHO'S CRUZ DONALDSON?
HE'S, LIKE, THE SECOND
CUTEST BOY IN SCHOOL!
I THOUGH HE WAS THE THIRD.
HE MOVED UP.
ASHLEY'S BROTHER WAS SECOND,
BUT HE CUT HIS HAIR.
SO, THAT'S
A YES, THEN.
WHAT? WAIT.
THE TAT.
UM, NO, I THINK WE NEED
TO TALK ABOUT I WHEN YOUR MOM COMES BACK.
WELL, SHE'LL JUST SAY NO.
MY LIFE IS OVER!
HEY, HONEY, IT'S...
HOLDING.
ANYONE?
REMEMBER WHEN THERE
USED TO BE A SKATING RINK
OVER THERE?
AND YOU HAD A CRUSH
ON THE BOY THAT WORKED
IN THE SKATE SHOP?
BOY?
HE'S PROBABLY SOMEBODY'S
GRANDFATHER BY NOW.
NO, HE OWNS A BUILDING
WE'RE REMODELING.
YOU'RE KIDDING.
JASON'S PROJECT.
WHY ISN'T I JASON AND TRISH'S PROJECT?
THAT WE WOULD HAVE TO
SPEND EVERY DAY TOGETHER.
OH, LIKE A REAL COUPLE.
WE ARE A REAL COUPLE.
NO, HE'S
HALF A COUPLE.
YOU'RE A MOVING
TARGET, REMEMBER?
HAS HE BEEN
TALKING TO YOU?
NO.
JUST THAT JASON AND I
BOTH HAVE YOUR BES INTERESTS AT HEART.
BESIDES, I WISH YOU'D
STICK AROUND MORE.
YOU KNOW, LET SOMEONE
ELSE AT THE FIRM
RACK UP ALL THE AIR MILES.
I KNOW.
I KNOW, I THINK I'M JUS SCARED OF MISSING OU ON SOMETHING.
WELL, HOW DO YOU KNOW
YOU'RE NOT MISSING OU ON SOMETHING HERE?
LOOK HOW CUTE.
YOU DO REALIZE
THOSE ARE NOT YOUR KIDS.
WHEN ELLA WAS LITTLE,
SHE USED TO WANT ME
AT ALL OF HER GAMES.
SHE ALWAYS CHECKED TO
MAKE SURE I WAS LOOKING.
TO MAKE SURE I'M NO NEMBARRASSING THEM.OK
HMM, WELL,
THAT SOUNDS NORMAL.
IT JUST GOES BY SO FAST.
WHEN THEY WERE YOUNG,
YOU USED TO SAY
IT WAS GOING SO SLOW.
THE DAYS ARE LONG,
BUT THE YEARS ARE FAST.
ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY,
GET ON THAT SHIP OF FOOLS
AND MAKE SOME NOISE
FOR MISS PAULA HILL!
[]
[SINGING OUT OF KEY]
I'M SAILING AWAY...
[MUFFLED LAUGHTER]
SET AN OPEN COURSE
FOR THE VIRGIN SEA...
OKAY, I THINK THAT'S THE WORS VOICE I'VE EVER HEARD.
CAN I GET A SIDE OF
EARPLUGS WITH THIS DRINK?
SHH...
YOU GET UP THERE.
NO! NO WAY.
WHAT? YOU USED TO
ROCK IT IN CHORUS.
ANCIENT HISTORY, BABE.
IT'S NOT SO ANCIENT.
AND YOU WERE THE QUEEN
OF CENTRAL HIGH.
DO YOU REMEMBER
YOUR SOLO IN THE GYM?
WE HAVE PTA MEETINGS
IN THE GYM NOW.
YIKES.
I KNOW.
...TO CARRY ON
[MUFFLED LAUGHTER]
NICE WORK, PAULA.
DO YOU HAVE A RECORD DEAL?
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
LAURA MILLER, YOU'RE UP!
PLEASE TELL ME THERE'S
ANOTHER LAURA MILLER HERE.
LAURA MILLER,
COME ON UP!
SHE'S RIGHT HERE!
OH, THERE SHE IS.
YOU DIDN'T.
NO, NO. NO...
SHE'S RIGHT HERE.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
WHAT ARE YOU
SINGING, LAURA?
UM... "BETRAYAL."
I DON'T THINK
WE HAVE THAT.
OKAY, HOW ABOUT, UM,
"DON'T STOP"?
[APPLAUSE AND CHEERS]
ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY.
GIVE IT UP
FOR MISS L.M.!
LAURA MILLER!
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
YOU GO, GIRL!
[]
IF YOU WAKE UP
AND DON'T WANNA SMILE
IF IT TAKES
JUST A LITTLE WHILE
OPEN YOUR EYES
AND LOOK AT THE DAY
YOU'LL SEE THINGS
IN A DIFFERENT WAY
DON'T STOP
THINKING ABOUT TOMORROW
DON'T STOP
IT'LL SOON BE HERE
IT'LL BE HERE
BETTER THAN BEFORE
YESTERDAY'S GONE
YESTERDAY'S GONE
[]
[ALL CLAPPING ALONG]
WHY NOT THINK ABOU THE TIMES TO COME?
AND NOT ABOU THE THINGS THAT YOU'VE DONE
IF YOUR LIFE WAS BAD TO YOU
JUST THINK
WHAT TOMORROW WILL DO
DON'T STOP THINKING
ABOUT TOMORROW
DON'T STOP
IT'LL SOON BE HERE
IT'LL BE HERE
BETTER THAN BEFORE
YESTERDAY'S GONE
YESTERDAY'S GONE...
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
RISE AND SHINE,
ROCK STAR.
COFFEE'S ON.
[SIGHING PEACEFULLY]
[GUITAR STRUMMING LOUDLY]
[CHUCKLING]
YEAH, WE'RE TAKING OVER
THE THIRD FLOOR NEXT MONTH.
WOW.
BRANDON AND ELLA
ARE GETTING OLDER,
YOU CAN'T HAVE A CAREER
AND BE A MOM. NO REASON
THERE'S NO REASON
YOU CAN'T HAVE A CAREER
AND A RELATIONSHIP.
WE WERE TALKING
ABOUT YOU.
AND BESIDES,
WHILE YOU'RE HERE,
YOU CAN GIVE ME
YOUR OPINION ON THESE.
BLUEPRINTS?
I HAVEN'T LOOKED AT THESE
IN 15 YEARS.
BLUEBERRIES, BLUE CHEESE
AND BLACK-AND-BLUES,
I CAN HELP WITH.
COME ON, YOU'VE ALWAYS GO GREAT INSTINCTS.
HAD.
HEY, STRANGER.
HI, SWEETIE!
HEY, JASON.
LAURA.
YOU LOOK AMAZING.
THANK YOU.
DID I SAY YOU LOOK AMAZING?
[LAUGHS]
YOU SEE THIS IS NOTGE
AND KIDS DMARRIAGE AND KIDS.
THIS IS A MAKEOVER.
SHE'S RIGHT.
I DON'T ACTUALLY
LOOK LIKE THIS.
WELL, YOU DO NOW.
WELL, ALL I CAN SAY IS,
MICHAEL'S A LUCKY GUY.
OH, AND SPEAKING OF LUCKY GUYS,
DON CALLED.
HE WANTS YOU
TO BRING HIM THE PLANS.
WHEN?
TONIGHT.
I'LL BE BACK.
WE'RE GOING TO
WINE COUNTRY.
[LAUGHING]
YOU WANT ME
TO GO WITH YOU?
OF COURSE.
IT'S ALL EXPENSES PAID.
I'D LOVE TO, BUT...GOING TO HAVE
IT'S TOO MUCH.O MUCH FUN.
NO SUCH THING!
BESIDES, IT'S GIRLS' WEEKEND.
I CAN'T KEEP UP WITH YOU.
I CAN'T EVEN KEEP UP
WITH THE KARDASHIANS.
ALL RIGHT, I WILL DRIVE YOU
BACK TO YOUR MOM VAN.
JUST GIVE ME
HALF AN HOUR
TO GO OVER SOME PLANS.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO
GIVE HER AN HOUR.
TAKE THE CAR FOR A SPIN?
WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO GO?
ANYWHERE BUT HOME.
ONE HOUR.
[]
[POLICE SIREN WAILS]
LICENSE AND REGISTRATION?
UM, THIS ISN'T MY CAR.
I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED.
DO YOU KNOW HOW FAS YOU WERE DRIVING?
I'M SO SORRY, OFFICER.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO SPEED.
YOU WERE GOING
17 MILES AN HOUR.
WHAT?
THIS IS
A 35-MILE-AN-HOUR ZONE.
THAT'S 19 MILES
BELOW
THE SPEED LIMIT.
18, ACTUALLY.
EXCUSE ME?
I'M SO SORRY.
I DO MY DAUGHTER'S MATH--
I MEAN, I DON'T DO HER--
I CORRECT HER
SOMETIMES?
I'M SORRY,
ARE YOU GIVING ME A TICKET?
BECAUSE TOMORROW'S MOTHER'S DAY.
MOTHER'S DAY?
NO, NO, I THOUGH THAT WAS NEXT WEEKEND.
LIVE A LITTLE.
DRIVE THE SPEED LIMIT.
TAKE YOU TO LUNCH?
I'D LOVE TO,
BUT YOU KNOW LAURA'S
DUE BACK ANY MINUTE.
I MEAN, IF SHE HASN' TAKEN OFF
WITH MY CAR FOR GOOD.
SOMEHOW I DON' SEE THAT HAPPENING.
I HOPE SHE DIDN'T DRIVE HOME
AND START DOING LAUNDRY.
WELL, YOU TWO, HAVE FUN.
THERE YOU GO.
-OH, WE WILL.
-SEE YOU MONDAY.
MM-HMM.
NO, WAIT,
I HAVE THE CONFERENCE
IN ATLANTA NEXT WEEK.
I THOUGHT YOU WEREN' GOING TO THAT.
IF I DON'T GO, WHO WOULD?
SOMEONE ELSE.
ANYONE ELSE.
EXCEPT FOR, ANYONE ELSE
CAN'T REP THE COMPANY
LIKE I CAN.
IT'S JUST A FEW DAYS.
IT'S NO A FEW DAYS.
OKAY, IT'S A WEEK.
THE YEAR ONLY HAS 52 OF THOSE,
AND YOU'RE AWAY
FOR MOST OF THEM.
I KNOW, BUT I ALWAYS COME BACK.
AND I'M ALWAYS HERE WAITING.
RIGHT?
THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID.
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO.
OKAY.
I KNOW YOU WANT TO SPEND
MORE TIME TOGETHER.
I'M GOING TO LEAVE
THE CONFERENCE A DAY EARLY.
WHATEVER THIS IS...
IT'S NOT WORKING
FOR ME ANYMORE.
OKAY.
I WON'T GO TO ATLANTA.
LOOK, TRISH,
I LOVE YOU.
OKAY, I THINK
YOU KNOW THAT.
BUT I...
I WANT A RELATIONSHIP
WITH SOMEONE WHO'S THERE.
I WANT A COMMITMENT,
AND A HOUSE,
AND MAYBE EVEN
A COUPLE OF KIDS.
I WANT TO BUILD
A LIFE WITH SOMEONE.
A REAL LIFE.
JASON, WE HAVE
WHAT EVERYBODY WANTS.
OKAY, WE HAVE FUN.
WE HAVE
EACH OTHER.
WE HAVE EXCITING CAREERS.
WHY DO WE WANT TO MESS
WITH THAT?
I WAN SOMETHING MORE.
I THOUGHT YOU DID, TOO.
I DO.
I JUST...
DON'T WANT IT RIGHT NOW.
WOULD IT BE
SO TERRIBLE
TO BE MORE LIKE
LAURA AND MICHAEL?
[CHUCKLES]
LAURA AND MICHAEL?
THAT'S EXACTLY MY POINT,
THEY'RE NOT EVEN
GETTING ALONG RIGHT NOW.
ALL RIGHT.
I GUESS I'LL SEE YOU
WHEN I SEE YOU.
WAIT, DON'T BE MAD.
WE'LL FIGURE THIS OUT.
I HAVE
FIGURED IT OUT.
[STARTS ENGINE]
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
WOW, MOM,
THAT'S AWESOME!
YEAH. I KNOW,
TRISH HELPED ME--
SWEET RIDE!
CAN I TAKE I FOR A SPIN?
THAT WOULD BE A NO.
OH, COME ON...
[SIGHING]
MOM?
O.M.G., YOU LOOK SO GOOD.
YOU LOOK LIKE
A REAL PERSON, TOO.
LIKE A 30-YEAR-OLD REAL PERSON.
IT'S JUST A LITTLE BI OF MAKEUP.
DAD SAID IT WAS OKAY.
OH, HE DID?
HE GAVE ME A THUMBS UP
WHILE HE WAS ON THE PHONE.
WELL...
[SIGHING]
I DON'T GET IT.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS
WANT TO BE THE BAD COP?
I DON'T...
[MUMBLING GROGGILY]
WOW, YOU LOOK AMAZING.
YEAH?
NOT TOO MUCH?
NO.
NO, IT'S JUST...
I THINK I'M USED TO SEEING YOU
IN A CERTAIN WAY.
PONYTAIL AND SWEATPANTS?
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
HEY.
THAT'S OKAY.
IN TWO DAYS, IT'LL FADE.
I'LL TURN BACK INTO A PUMPKIN.
HEY, I'LL CALL YOU
RIGHT BACK, OKAY?
OKAY.
HEY, HEY.
SORRY ABOUT THAT.
I DIDN'T REALIZE
YOU'D BE HOME SO SOON.
YEAH, TRISH GO CALLED AWAY.
SO, HOW WAS IT,
WAS IT FUN?
IT WAS.
I WAS LIKE A... A REAL PERSON.
I WAS BEGINNING TO SUSPEC THAT YOU MIGHT BE A REAL PERSON.
DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN
WE USED TO DO THINGS TOGETHER,
AND WE USED TO HAVE FUN?
YEAH.
LOOK, THIS ABOU THE DANCING THING, RIGHT?
I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT.
IF THAT'S SOMETHING
YOU WANT,
THEN I'LL DO IT.
BUT I WANT YOU
TO WANT TO DO IT.
OH.
REMEMBER THE TWO OF US?
AND THE FOUR OF US,
WE WERE A TEAM.
IS THIS EMPTY NEST SYNDROME?
BECAUSE THE NES IS NOT EMPTY YET.
I MEAN, AS YOU CAN SEE.
BUT IT WILL BE,
AND THEN WHERE WILL WE--
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
WAIT, I'VE GOT TO TAKE THIS.
JUST HOLD ON ONE MINUTE.
HEY, HEY,
I WAS THINKING
WHAT IF WE THREW IN
A PUTTING GREEN?
LIKE A SHOW
OF GOOD FAITH.
HONEY, DO YOU KNOW
WHERE MY COMP
FOLDER IS?
YEAH, I MEAN,
YOU KNOW,
ASTRO TURF,
NOT REAL GRASS.
YEAH, I'LL MEET YOU
OVER THERE.
NO...
UM...PROJECTED
OR ACTUAL?
I DON'T KNOW, I CAN'T--
I DON'T KNOW...
I'M GOING TO
SPARKLING HILL RESORT.
[TEXTING RAPIDLY]
I'M GOING AWAY WITH TRISH
FOR THE WEEKEND!
...YEAH. RIGHT.
NO, I TOTALLY
UNDERSTAND.
NO, WHOEVER OWNED I 15 YEARS AGO PROBABLY--
I'M LEAVING NOW.
UM, I'LL MEET YOU THERE
IN, LIKE,
20 MINUTES,
AND WE'LL DO
A WALK-THROUGH.
IFI HAVE A COUPLE
WOOF OTHER OPTIONS.
GREAT. LOOKING
FORWARD TO IT.
THANKS SO MUCH.
WOW...
HI, CASSANDRA.
IT'S GORGEOUS.
I LOVE WHAT I'VE DONE
WITH THE PLACE.
CAN YOU TELL DON
WE'RE HERE?
[LAUGHING]
OUR SUITE, MADAME.
[SIGHING]
THIS IS GORGEOUS.
LOOK AT ALL THESE FLOWERS.
AND THAT VIEW?
THEY SENT US
A FRUIT BASKET!
WITH MACADAMIA NUTS.
THESE ARE $19 A BOX.
HOW DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH
MACADAMIA NUTS COST?
BECAUSE I PASS BY THEM
IN THE MARKET,
WELL, YOU'RE NOT EATING
ON PEANUTS ON THIS TRIP.S.
THE CLIENT OWNS
14 RESTAURANTS.
15 WHEN WE'RE DONE.
[GROANING]
I COULD GET USED TO THIS.
[CHUCKLES]
YOU SHOULD.
[SIGHING]
THE CLIENT?
UH, JASON.
THAT'S SO ROMANTIC.
YOU HAVE A GUY
THAT SENDS YOU FLOWERS.
ESPECIALLY AFTER
THE FIGHT YOU HAD.
ARE YOU GOING TO CALL HIM?
LATER.
RIGHT NOW,
YOU AND I ARE GOING OUT.
OOH...
[GIGGLING]
OOH... I LIKE.
SO, THIS IS ME,
AND THIS IS YOU.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
THIS IS ME.
MM-HMM.
[LAUGHING]
[]
PIZZA!
DOUBLE CHEESE!
WHAT'S THAT?
UM, OH, IT'S
MOM'S OLD YEARBOOK
FROM HIGH SCHOOL.
I FOUND I IN THE LIVING ROOM.
SHE LOOKS SO YOUNG.
SHE WASN'T OLD YET,
IT WAS HIGH SCHOOL.
HEY, HEY, HEY,
SHE'S NOT OLD.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
"GIRL MOST LIKELY TO LEAD
AN ADVENTUROUS LIFE"?
YUP.
WHAT HAPPENED?
UM, I THINK
SHE MET ME.
SHE HAD US.
LET ME SEE.
I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE HER
DRIVING A CONVERTIBLE.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
SHE WAS DRIVING ONE
WHEN I MET HER.
THEY MAKE MINIVAN
CONVERTIBLES?
NO, MUSTANG.
FIRE ENGINE RED.
-WAIT, MOM DROVE A MUSTANG?
-MM-HMM.
WHAT HAPPENED TO IT?
UH, WELL, SHE SOLD IT.
SHE COULDN'T FI A CAR SEAT IN IT.
I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME
I EVER MET YOUR MOM.
SHE WAS AT A HOTEL,
AND SHE WAS GRADUATING
FROM ARCHITECTURE SCHOOL,
AND I WAS THERE
FOR A JOB INTERVIEW.
I LOOKED OUT THIS WINDOW,
AND I SAW HER
DIVING INTO A POOL,
IN HER CAP AND GOWN
AND HIGH HEELS.
[LAUGHING]
AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED?
I BLEW OFF THE INTERVIEW,
AND I RAN OUTSIDE,
AND I HANDED HER A TOWEL.
AND I THINK, PROBABLY
FROM THAT MOMENT RIGHT THERE,
I WAS IN LOVE WITH HER.
THAT MOTHER'S DAY HIKE
HEY, DOWE WENT ON,EMEMBER
WHERE MOM WORE THAT STUPID HA THAT ELLA MADE
AND A BIRD LANDED ON IT?
[LAUGHING] OH, YEAH.
WHEN SHE OUTRAN
A COCKER SPANIEL?EE GAME
[LAUGHING]
YEAH.
I THINK THIS IS THE FIRS MOTHER'S DAY MEAL
THAT I HAVEN' TAKEN HER OUT SOMEWHERE.
[CAR HORN HONKS]
OH, THAT'S TYLER.
I GOTTA GO.
[TEXT MESSAGE CHIMES]
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
STATUS UPDATE,
CRISIS. ASHLEY
LOST HER PHONE.
[CHUCKLES FONDLY]
[]
SNIFF, SIP, SPIT.
[SIGHS]
WHAT? IT WAS TOO GOOD
TO SPIT OUT.
YOU'RE RIGHT,
WHAT WAS I THINKING?
HOW MANY OF THIS
ARE WE ALLOWED TO HAVE?
AS MUCH AS WE WANT.
OH, BOY.
ROB, SEND A BOTTLE
OF THE '92 COTE DE NUITS
TO OUR TABLE.
6:00 RESERVATIONS.
TRISH, THANKS
FOR MAKING THE TRIP UP.
WELL, THERE IS NO PLACE
THAT I WOULD RATHER BE.
AND I DO SAY THA TO ALL MY CLIENTS,
BUT THIS TIME,
I ACTUALLY MEAN IT.
THIS PLACE LOOKS FANTASTIC.
THANKS IN
NO SMALL PART TO YOU.
[CHUCKLES]
THIS IS LAURA MILLER,
THIS IS MY DEAREST FRIEND.
SHE'S ALSO AN ARCHITECT.
THERE'S NO PLACE
I'D RATHER BE EITHER,
TRUST ME.
YOU'RE WITH
TRISH'S FIRM?
NO, BUT SHE SHOULD BE.
[]
[LAUGHING AND CHATTING]
LAURA WAS
THE STAR STUDEN AT OUR ARCHITECTURAL
SCHOOL.
WHY'D YOU STOP
PRACTICING, LAURA?
I HAD KIDS.
IN FACT, I THINK THE LAS GLASS OF WINE I HAD
CAME FROM A BOX
AT A PTA MEETING.
I CAN RELATE.
ACTUALLY, I HAVE THREE,
I'VE INCLUDING MY HUSBAND.
HAVE YOU BEEN
TALKING TO MY WIFE?
SHE SAYS THE SAME THING.
SHE'S A FULL-TIME
MOM, TOO.
HARDEST JOB IN THE WORLD.
IN MY NEXAS SOMETHINGINK
I'M GOINGLESS STRESSFUL.
LIKE AN AIR TRAFFIC
CONTROLLER.
TRISH, WHERE HAVE YOU
BEEN HIDING HER?
UM, UNDER
40 POUNDS OF LAUNDRY.
EXACTLY.
DO YOU WANT TO
GO OVER THE PLANS
FOR SAN FRANCISCO?
YEAH, LET'S HAVE A LOOK.
OKAY, SO...
I'M THINKING HARD ROCK CAFE
MEETS HOUSE OF BLUES.
BUT...
WE EXPAND THE STAGE
AND THE BAR,
WE REPOSITION THE ENTRANCE
TO THE NORTH SIDE
OF THE BUILDING.
IT'S BETTER LIGH AND IT'S BETTER WALK-BY TRAFFIC.
EVERYTHING ELSE
IS BUILD-OUT.
INTERESTING.
WHAT DO YOU THINK, LAURA?
ME?
YOU REALLY WANT MY OPINION?
OF COURSE, HE DOES.
YOU THINK
THIS FREE MEAL
DOESN'T COME AT A PRICE?
[LAUGHING]
I THINK IT WORKS.
MOVING THE ENTRANCEWAY
MAKES SENSE.
YOU COULD ALSO ADD A COUPLE
OF WELL-PLACED WINDOWS
NEAR THE FACADE.
MAYBE INCREASE THE ARCHWAY?
OOH, WHAT ABOU BUILDING THE BAR
INTO A GUITAR SHAPE?
I LIKE IT.
YOU DO?
WEYOU DO NOT GIVE HIM A CHANCE
SAYS HETO CHANGE HIS MIND.
TRUE.
NOW, I HOPE
YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, LADIES.
I HAVE ANOTHER APPOINTMENT.
I RECOMMEND THE
CREME BRULEE FOR DESSERT,E.
IT'S OUT OF THIS WORLD.
AND WE'LL GET BACK TO YOUME
AT THE END OF THE WEEK.N UP
IN YOUR NEXT LIFE,
DON'T COME BACK
AS AN AIR TRAFFIC
CONTROLLER.
COME BACK AS AN ARCHITECT.
OKAY.
[]
[LAUGHING]
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
[]
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
EXCUSE ME, YOUR...
HELLO?
UH, WHO IS THIS?
RICHIE.
RICHIE WHO?
THE BUS BOY.
WHO'S THIS?
[ELLA]: HI RICHIE!
[RAUCOUS CHEERING FROM PARTY]
BUT HE'S CUTE.
WHY... WHY ARE YOU
ANSWERING MY WIFE'S PHONE?
THAT'S YOUR WIFE?
THAT GIRL CAN TEAR IT UP.
WHAT?
TOLD YOU.
OKAY, COME ON, BABY.
MAMA NEEDS
A NEW PAIR OF SHOES!
[ALL CHEERING]
[LAUGHING]
THIS IS SO EASY!
I NEED SLEEP.
IT'S EARLY.
IT'S 1:00
IN THE MORNING.
WE HAVEN'T EVEN HI THE BLACKJACK TABLES YET.
OH, MY GOSH,WEDDING
WE SHOULD TOTALLY CRASH IT,M.
LIKE WE DID IN HIGH SCHOOL, HMM?
UH, FORGET IT.
AND YOU DON'T NEED TO LIVE
AN ENTIRE LIFETIME
IN ONE WEEKEND.
YEAH, EASY
FOR YOU TO SAY.
OKAY, COME ON,
COME ON...
I'M GOING BACK TO THE ROOM.
ARE YOU COMING?
[BLOWING]
THIS IS IT.
THIS IS IT!
HERE WE GO. HERE WE GO.
THIS IS IT.
[ALL CHEERING AND SCREAMING]
I'VE CREATED A MONSTER.
GO, LAURA
GO, LAURA, GO, LAURA...
[]
[MUSIC BLASTING]
[]
[TURNS OFF STEREO]
[STUMBLING]
HEY, GOOD MORNING.
WOULD YOU LIKE
SOME ORANGE JUICE?
COFFEE.
BLACK.
[CHUCKLING]
ORANGE JUICE IT IS.
THIS IS SO WEIRD.
MOM NOT BEING HERE
ON MOTHER'S DAY.
YEAH, I KNOW.
HEY, HOW ABOUT WE TACKLE
THAT MATH HOMEWORK YOU HAVE
TODAY?
ARE YOU GOOD AT MATH?
I USED TO BE.
YOU KNOW, KICK A SOCCER BALL
AROUND OR SOMETHING.
REALLY?
YEAH.
I THINK I'VE BEEN PROBABLY
WORKING TOO MUCH LATELY.
I'VE BEEN MISSING
SOME OF THE STUFF
THAT WE USED TO
DO TOGETHER.
THERE'S STILL TIME.
I'M ONLY 14.
[SCOFFS] 12.
UM, HEY, WAIT,
WHAT ABOUT PANCAKES?
YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE PANCAKES?
UH, WELL...
[CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY]
THERE'S ALWAYS A FIRST TIME
FOR EVERYTHING.
COME ON, I'LL SHOW YOU.
I MADE THIS FOR HER
LAST MOTHER'S DAY.
I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE KEPT IT.
ME EITHER.
WHAT ABOU YOUR UGLY POT HOLDER?
SHE STILL USES THAT.
YEAH, WELL,
WHAT ABOU YOUR THREE-LEGGED ROOSTER?
NEED I SAY MORE?
WE'RE OUT OF MILK.
WE SHOULD CALL MOM.
WELL, I MEAN,
SHE'S NOT GONNA...
DRIVE BACK HERE
JUST TO BRING US MILK.
NO, I MEANT...
I MEANT, CALL HER
AND WISH HER
A HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY.
HEY... THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
BUT, YOU KNOW,
IT'S EARLY.
MAYBE WE SHOULD WAIT TILL
SHE SLEEPS IN A LITTLE BIT.
SHE NEVER SLEEPS IN.
HI. THIS IS LAURA.
PLEASE LEAVE ME A MESSAGE.
THANK YOU.
SHE'S NOT ANSWERING.
ROOM SERVICE!
I RAN INTO DON
IN THE LOBBY
AND HE SEN ALL OF THIS UP.
LOOK, DOUBLE ESPRESSOS,
BACON AND EGGS,
O.J., NO PULP.
AND FRENCH TOAST.
"PAIN GRILLE FRANCAIS."
HAVE YOU BEEN UP ALL NIGHT?
I TRIED CALLING YOU.
I LOST TRACK OF TIME.
I DON'T KNOW, MY PHONE DIED.
I WAS TOO BUSY... WINNING.
$20?
THAT'S RIGHT,
SISTER.
YOU SPENT ALL NIGH WINNING $20?
THE POINT IS, I WON.
COME ON, GET UP.
I BOOKED US FOR ZIP-LINING,
A HORSEBACK RIDING TOUR.
OH, AND WE GOT INVITED
TO THE O'HARA-GOLDBERG WEDDING.
WHAT?
YEAH, SWEETEST COUPLE.
I MET THEM LAST NIGHT.
OR MAYBE IT WAS THIS MORNING,
I DON'T REMEMBER.
THEY'RE HAVING
A MICHAEL BUBLE IMPERSONATOR
PERFORM
THE CEREMONY.
UH, ONE WORD.
NO.
NO TO MICHAEL BUBLE?
OH, NO TO ZIPLINING.
NO TO ALL OF IT.
I CAN BARELY MOVE
AFTER THREE HOURS OF DANCING.
YOU KNOW WHA WOULD FIX THAT?
A MASSAGE...
WHAT DO YOU WANT,
SWEDISH OR WATSU?
"WATSU?"
WATER SHIATSU.
I'LL CALL HER.
I'LL CALL HER.
HI. CONCIERGE, PLEASE.
-CONCIERGE.
-CASSANDRA, IT'S LAURA.
[LAUGHING]
I KNOW, RIGHT?
WASN'T THAT FUN?
OKAY, SO WHAT'S
THE BEST MASSAGE HERE?
OKAY, GREAT.
SHE SAYS JIN SHIN DO.
YEAH, BOOK IT.
FOR TWO.
AND YOU SHOULD JUST THROW IN
SOME SEAWEED WRAPS, RIGHT?
WE'RE HERE.
[LAUGHING] OKAY, GIRL.
BYE-EE!
[BEEPS PHONE OFF]
ET VOILA.
[MOCK SOBBING] WHO ARE YOU?
OH, TIME TO
GET UP, GET UP...
NO, NO, NO!
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY.
OH, RIGHT, I FORGOT.
WELL, MAYBE
YOU SHOULD CALL HOME.
THEY'RE FINE.
I'LL CALL LATER.
WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GIRL
THAT WAS CALLING EVERY HOUR?
I JUST HAD A BRILLIANT IDEA.
WE'RE GOING TO GO
TO THE EIFFEL TOWER.
THIS SUMMER,
PARIS, YOU AND ME.
I MEAN, JUST BECAUSE
MICHAEL CAN'T GO
DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T GO.
WE'LL HAVE A GIRLS' WEEK,
WE'LL HAVE A GIRLS' TWO WEEKS.
I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO GO
WITH YOUR FAMILY.
I DO,
BUT MICHAEL KEEPS CANCELING,
AND, TRUTHFULLY,
I THINK THE KIDS WOULD RATHER
BE WITH THEIR FRIENDS.
AND CRUZ DONALDSON.
WHO'S CRUZ DONALDSON?
ONLY THE THIRD CUTEST BOY
IN ELLA'S SCHOOL,
AND MY FUTURE SON-IN-LAW,
APPARENTLY.
THIRD CUTEST, NOT TOO SHABBY.
[LAUGHS]
I FOUND A NOTEBOOK
IN ELLA'S ROOM.
IT SAID "MR. AND MRS.
CRUZ DONALDSON."
SHE'S NOT KEEPING HER NAME?
YOU SHOULD REALLY
TALK TO HER ABOUT THAT.
I SHOULD,
BUT THE MARRIAGE IS PROBABLY
ANNULLED BY NOW.
IT'S BEEN TWO WHOLE DAYS.
IT SEEMED LIKE YESTERDAY
THAT SHE WAS REPULSED BY BOYS.
MM-MM,
NOT ANYMORE.
NOW SHE FALLS IN LOVE
AT THE DROP OF A TEXT.
HMM.
SHE'S JUST LIKE WE USED TO BE.
I WISH I HAD YOUR LIFE
SOMETIMES.
OH, YEAH,
BECAUSE MY LIFE IS SO GLAMOROUS.
NO, IT'S 'CAUSE YOU HAVE
PEOPLE TO GO HOME TO.
YOU HAVE PEOPLE.
YEAH, BUT THOSE ARE
ACTUALLY JUST PEOPLE.
YEAH, BUT YOU HAVE
A GREAT LIFE.
NO, I HAVE A GREAT CAREER.
THAT'S HARDLY THE SAME THING.
YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND
THAT LOVES YOU.
AND YOU LOVE HIM.
MM-HMM.
HONESTLY, I...
I'M SCARED.
I KNOW.
SCARED OF BECOMING LIKE ME.
NO.
I'M SCARED OF
NOT BECOMING LIKE YOU.
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT,
CLEARLY, YOU'RE NOT AWAKE YET.
WE WILL REVISI THIS CONVERSATION
AFTER THAT DOUBLE ESPRESSO
KICKS IN.
IN THE MEANTIME,
I'M GOING TO GO CHECK OU THAT TRIPLE-JET STEAM SHOWER.
SAVE ME SOME RASPBERRIES.
VOICEMAIL.
VOICEMAIL?
SHE ALWAYS ANSWERS
ON THE FIRST RING.
I WISH SHE WAS HERE.
YEAH.
I MISS HER, TOO.
AND I...
I THINK I NEED TO
TELL HER THAT IN PERSON.
I'M GOING TO SPARKLING HILL.
BRING HER BACK, DAD.
TAKE THE SEDAN.
UH, THANK YOU.
IT'S MY CAR, SO...
VERY GENEROUS.
OKAY, ARE YOU TWO
GOING TO BE OKAY HERE
FOR A FEW HOURS?
I'LL... I'LL
LOOK AFTER THINGS.
[CHUCKLES]
WHY DON'T I FIND THA COMFORTING?
DAD, WE GOT THIS.
BEFORE I GO...
GROUND RULES.
RULES?
MM-HMM.
BUT YOU'RE THE GOOD COP.
WELL, NOT ANYMORE.
SO YOU'RE GOING TO BE
THE BAD COP?
I'M GOING TO BE A PARENT.
COME HERE.
[CLEARING THROAT]
LISTEN,
I LOVE YOU.
BUT...
I WANT YOU GUYS
TO CLEAN UP THE HOUSE
BEFORE YOUR MOTHER AND I
GET BACK.
START WITH YOUR ROOMS.
AND WE NEED TO REPLACE
KETHAT FLOWER POT,N,
AND WE'VE GOT GET A NEW CAKE
FROM THE BAKERY.
AND NO TWITTER, NO TUMBLR,
NO INSTAGRAM,
NO ANYTHING DOT-COM,
AND NO MAKEUP.
AND NO CRUZ DONALDSON.
I DON'T CARE
IF HE'S THE THIRD
OR FIRST CUTEST BOY
IN SCHOOL,
I DON'T CARE IF HE'S BRAD PITT.
BRAD PITT?
HE'S LIKE AN OLD MAN.
[CLEARING THROAT]
VACUUM CLEANER'S
IN THE HALL CLOSE AND THE MOP
IS IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM.
[DOOR SLAMS]
THIS IS RECYCLING,
NOT A BIRDHOUSE.
AND THIS GOES IN YOUR CLOSET,
ON A HANGER.
[DOOR SLAMS]
I LIKED IT BETTER
WHEN HE WAS ON THE PHONE
ALL THE TIME.
I DIDN'T.
[SIGHS] COME ON.
[LAUGHING]
HOW DO YOU NO WANT TO DO THIS?
UH, WHAT'S THE GRAPE,
AND REMIND ME
NEVER TO DRINK IT AGAIN.
[BABY CRYING AND FUSSING]
[SQUEAKING COMICALLY]
HI. I SEE YOU.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
NO CRYING.
HOW DID YOU DO THAT?
I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN TWO DAYS.
BABIES ARE EASY.
WAIT TILL YOU HAVE TEENAGERS.
IT GETS WORSE?
NO, I'M JOKING.
TEENAGERS ARE A JOY.
CAN I HOLD HIM?
OF COURSE.
COME HERE.
OH... YES, YOU ARE.
A BIG, BIG BOY.
AW...
YES, YOU ARE.
AW...
TRISH, LOOK AT THE BABY.
COME HERE, COME HERE.
HI.
OH, HE LIKES ME.
[CHUCKLING]
-DO YOU WANT TO HOLD HIM?
-NO...
YES, YOU DO.
YES, YOU DO...
OH...
BABAS... HI, BABAS...
OH, NO.
LOOK AT YOU.
YOU ARE A LITTLE MAN,
AREN'T YOU?
YOU'RE A LITTLE MAN...
OH, BOY.
[]
[WHISTLING]
THESE ARE AWESOME.
YOU'VE NEVER
NOTICED THEM BEFORE?
I'VE NEVER BEEN
IN THIS ROOM BEFORE.
MOM DID THEM
IN SCHOOL.
THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE
HER FIRST BUILDINGS.
SHE WAS REALLY GOOD.
YEAH.
IT'S PRETTY COOL
THAT SHE'S AN ARCHITECT.
MAYBE I SHOULD BECOME
AN ARCHITECT.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
GOING TO BE A MUSICIAN.
IT DOESN'T HURT TO HAVE
A BACK-UP PLAN.
WE SHOULD HANG THESE
IN A REAL ROOM.
HEY, THAT'S ACTUALLY
A DECENT IDEA.
YOUR FIRST.
[SIGHING]
JASON?
IT'S ME.
ARE YOU BUSY?
BECAUSE I WAS REALLY HOPING
THAT WE COULD TALK.
[SPRAY SQUIRTS]
HI!
-OH, TRISH.
-MICHAEL!
HI.
SORRY FOR BARGING IN
ON A GIRLS' WEEKEND.
IT'S OKAY. COME IN.
YEAH. OKAY, THANK YOU.
I TRIED CALLING,
BUT I REALLY WANTED TO
TALK TO HER IN PERSON.
IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
UH, NO.
I MEAN, MAYBE SHE TOLD YOU?
IT'S JUST--I'VE BEEN AN IDIOT.
UH, WELL, SHE DIDN'T EXACTLY
USE THE WORD "IDIOT."
WELL, SHE SHOULD HAVE.
I NEED TO TELL HER I'M SORRY,
AND THE KIDS ARE SORRY,
AND THAT...
YOU KNOW, WE NEED HER.
AND NOT JUS TO CLEAN UP OUR ROOMS.
WE CAN DO THA ON OUR OWN.
WE MISS HER.
YOU DROVE ALL THIS WAY
TO TELL HER THAT?
THAT'S REALLY SWEET.
WHERE IS SHE?
UH, LAST TIME I SAW HER,
SHE WAS GOING ZIP-LINING,
OR HORSEBACK RIDING...
WHAT?
COME ON, LET'S GO FIND HER.
WAIT...
[SIGHING]
OH, MAN.
I'VE NEVER CLEANED
A WHOLE HOUSE BEFORE.
YOU'VE NEVER CLEANED
YOUR ROOM BEFORE.
THAT BROOM GAVE ME A BLISTER.
MY NAILS ARE RUINED.
MY EYES ARE STILL STINGING
FROM THAT STUPID CLEANER.
MOM'S LIKE A SUPER-MOM.
I DON'T KNOW
HOW SHE DOES IT.
ME EITHER.
DON'T... TELL ANYONE
ABOUT THIS.
I DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO GE THE WRONG IDEA ABOUT ME.
TOO LATE.
I ALREADY INSTAGRAMMED YOU
MOPPING THE FLOOR.
WAIT, ARE YOU SERIOUS?
I MAY HAVE
TWEETED SOMETHING, TOO.
I THOUGHT DAD SAID
NO MORE SOCIAL MEDIA.
HE CAN'T EXPECT ME
TO QUIT COLD TURKEY.
I'M CUTTING BACK.
ONE TWEET AT A TIME.
THAT'S GOOD.
DO YOU THINK MOM AND DAD
ARE GOING TO BE OKAY?
YEAH.
I MEAN, IT'S MOM AND DAD.
THEY'RE NOT ACTING
LIKE MOM AND DAD.
I THINK WE'VE BEEN
TAKING THEM FOR GRANTED.
WE'RE NOT LITTLE KIDS ANYMORE.
WELL, I'M NOT.
OW.
OW...
LAURA?
MICHAEL?
[DON]: TRISH,
PERFECT TIMING.
WE WERE THINKING OF
ADDING A WALL OF CASKS
ON THE SOUTH END
WITH A TRUSS
MADE FROM WINE BOTTLES.
LAURA DREW UP
SOME GREAT PLANS.
[CHUCKLES]
DON, THIS IS MICHAEL MILLER,
THIS IS LAURA'S HUSBAND.
MICHAEL, THIS IS
DON HOLLAND.
HE'S THE REASON
THAT WE'RE HERE.
-NICE TO MEET YOU.
-YEAH, YOU TOO.
YOUR WIFE HAS
SOME GREAT IDEAS.
SHE'LL MAKE AN EXCELLEN ADDITION TO THE TEAM.
YES, DON ASKED ME
TO JOIN TRISH
ON THE RESTAURAN CONTRACTS.
WOW.
THAT'S-THAT'S GREAT.
SHE'S A BREATH
OF FRESH AIR.
YOU'RE ONE
LUCKY GUY.
I AM.
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
OH, SORRY,
I GOTTA TAKE THIS.
A PLEASURE TO MEE YOU, MICHAEL.
-TRISH, CAN I BORROW YOU?
-YEAH.
I, UH...
IT'S MY GRAND
ROMANTIC GESTURE.
WELL, THANK YOU,
THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL.
UM...
YOU KNOW, YOU LOOKED SO HAPPY
UP THERE, WORKING.
I JUST, I FELT LIKE
I HADN'T SEEN THAT EXPRESSION
ON YOUR FACE IN A WHILE.
[CHUCKLES]
IT'S BEEN A CRAZY FEW DAYS.
YEAH.
YEAH, FOR ME, TOO.
YOU KNOW, I CAME
BECAUSE I WAS HOPING TO
BRING YOU HOME.
I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN GO BACK
TO THE WAY THINGS WERE.
I KNOW.
DON WANTS TRISH AND ME
TO MEET THE GENERAL CONTRACTOR
TOMORROW,
SO I THINK I'M GOING TO STAY
ONE MORE NIGHT.
OH. OKAY.
WELL, I GUESS, YOU KNOW,
WE CAN TALK
WHEN YOU GET BACK HOME.
YEAH. OF COURSE.
LAURA,
CAN I STEAL YOU
AWAY FOR A MINUTE?
YEAH, SURE.
OKAY.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY.
YEAH.
[TRISH]: YEAH,
I WAS JUST TELLING DON
ABOUT THOSE PLANS
YOU CAME UP WITH--
ABOUT THAT GREAT IDEA,
[LAURA]: YEAH. THE TRUSS WANTS
TO BE 16 FEET OFF THE FLOOR,T.
SO IT BALANCES OFF
THE WINDOWS IN THE EAST WALL.
[TRISH]: MAYBE YOU CAN
COME UP WITH SOME MORE THINGS.
[LAURA]: I'M THINKING
THREE SUPPORTS-- 15 X 15...
WHERE'S MOM?
UH, SHE'S STILL THERE.
WELL, WHEN'S
SHE COMING HOME?
[CHUCKLES RUEFULLY]
I DON'T KNOW.
BUT WHEN SHE DOES,
WE'RE GOING TO
CELEBRATE MOTHER'S DAY.
I HAVE BEEN
LOOKING FOR YOU.
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR ME, TOO.
WHERE'S MICHAEL?
HE WENT HOME.
OH.
THE TRUTH IS,
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO BE
MORE LIKE THE OLD ME,
BUT I'M NOT EVEN SURE
I WANT TO BE HER ANYMORE.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE HER
ANYMORE EITHER.
YOU DON'T?
NO.
I JUST WANTED YOU
TO FIND A HAIRBRUSH
AND DITCH
THE SWEATPANTS.
[CHUCKLING]
YOU KNOW WHAT I REALIZED?
I COULD TRAVEL THE WORLD,
I COULD SWIM WITH DOLPHINS,
I COULD BUILD SKYSCRAPERS,
BUT NONE OF IT...
NONE OF IT WOULD MEAN ANYTHING
WITHOUT MICHAEL AND THE KIDS.
NO WORK IS MORE IMPORTAN THAN MY FAMILY.
I GOTTA GO HOME.
YOU KNOW,
I REALIZED SOMETHING
THIS WEEKEND, TOO.
I DON'T WANT TO BE
A MOVING TARGET.
I WANT WHAT YOU HAVE.
A MOM VAN
AND A REALLY BAD WARDROBE?
[LAUGHS]
A HOME...
AND SOMEONE TO GO BACK TO.
SHOULD WE GET OUT OF HERE?
OH, I WAS HOPING
YOU'D SAY THAT.
AW...
NOT A BAD GIRLS' WEEKEND, HUH?
BEST EVER.
I KNOW WE'RE BACK AND ALL,
BUT THERE IS AN OPEN POSITION
AT THE FIRM
IF YOU'RE INTERESTED.
REALLY?
YEAH, PART-TIME HOURS,
WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOU.
I WOULD LOVE THAT.
ME TOO.
[LAUGHING]
OKAY.
GIVE JASON MY BEST.
NO.
GIVE JASON YOUR BEST.
I WILL.
NOW, GET IN THERE.
MOTHER'S DAY
IS ALMOST OVER.
OOH.
[LAURA]: THANK YOU.
GOOD NIGHT.
DID I STEP INTO
AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE?
[TOGETHER]: MOM!
YOU'RE BACK!
HI.
OH.
HUGS.
I TOLD DAD YOU WOULDN'T MISS
MOTHER'S DAY.
I GUESS I'M PREDICTABLE
AFTER ALL.
WE GOT EVERYTHING
READY, JUST IN CASE.
WHO DID ALL OF THIS?
WHO CLEANED?
WE DID.
YOU SHOULD SEE MY ROOM.
F.Y.I., THE RINSE CYCLE STICKS
ON THE WASHING MACHINE.
MM.
HEY, DO YOU THINK
YOU COULD SHOW ME
HE'S THINKING ABOU SOBECOMING AN ARCHITECT.ES?
WELL, IF I DON' MAKE IT AS A MUSICIAN.
GOOD BACK-UP PLAN.
EXACTLY.
-FOR MOTHER'S DAY.
-OH.
I GOT YOU A PRESENT, TOO.
I DOWNLOADED
ALL THAT TERRIBLE
OLD MUSIC YOU LIKE,
SO YOU CAN LISTEN
TO IT IN THE CAR.
[DRYLY] THANK YOU.
OPEN MINE.
WOW.
I LOVE IT.
WHAT IS IT?
YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS,
RIGHT, MOM?
YEAH, UH...
YEAH, IT'S A DOORSTOP.
I MISSED YOU GUYS.
[MICHAEL]: NOT AS MUCH
AS WE MISSED YOU.
YOU CAME BACK.
WOW, THAT LOOKS LIKE
A REALLY BIG
FOR SALE SIGN.
THIS, YES, GREAT PROPERTY.
IT'S A NO BEDROOM,
NO BATH.
IT'S GOT A LONG ELEVATOR
AND A REALLY KILLER VIEW.
[CHUCKLING]
UM... [CLEARING THROAT]
LISTEN, I-I KNOW
THAT I HAVEN'T ACTED
LIKE I APPRECIATE
EVERYTHING THAT YOU DO,
AND EVERYTHING THAT YOU ARE,
BUT I DO.
I THINK I STARTED TO
TAKE US FOR GRANTED.
BUT I WANT TO BE
THE MAN THAT YOU MARRIED.
I MEAN, ALL THOSE THINGS
THAT YOU WANT TO DO,
LIKE SKYSCRAPERS AND DOLPHINS,
I THINK YOU SHOULD DO
EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.
WE'LL ALL DO THEM.
WE'LL MAKE NEW PLANS,
TOGETHER.
BESIDES,
I ALREADY DID
THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS,
AND THEY WEREN'T EVEN
ON MY LIST.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU.
AND I RUINED OUR LIVES
BY HAVING KIDS.
WHAT?
WAIT, WHAT?
L.O.L.
B.T.W.
WE'RE ALL
GOING TO PARIS.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
YUP.
NO CLIENT'S GOING TO
KEEP ME FROM MY FAMILY.
[TEXT ALERT SOUNDS]
WHAT...
DID YOU JUST IGNORE
YOUR PHONE?
YEAH.
I'M-I'M SHOCKED.
WHAT HAPPENED TO
CRUZ DONALDSON?
GROSS.
I'M SO OVER HIM.
[LAUGHS]
OKAY.
HEY.
[TURNS ON
ROMANTIC FRENCH MUSIC]
[]
[SWITCHES MUSIC
TO HIP-HOP DANCE MUSIC]
[]
NEW ANNUAL MOTHER'S DAY PHOTO.
OKAY!
WHOO!
[FLASHBULB POWERING UP]
[]
-HEY.
-HEY.
WHAT ARE WE
DOING HERE?
I WANTED TO TALK.
RIGHT, YOU DIDN'T WANT TO
CREATE A SCENE AT THE OFFICE.
WHAT?
BREAKING UP
IN A PUBLIC PLACE
MAKES IT EASIER, I GET IT.
BUT WHY HERE?
I MEAN, THIS IS
WHERE WE MET.
NO, WE MET AT DON'S
CHRISTMAS PARTY.
RIGHT.
YEAH. [CHUCKLES]
I ASKED YOU HERE...
BECAUSE I WAN OUR LIVES TO CHANGE.
I WANT TO BE WITH YOU.
AND NOT JUST IN THE OFFICE.
SO IF YOU'RE STILL IN,
I AM, TOO.
[CLEARS THROAT]
YOU'RE, UH, YOU'RE IN?
THE HOUSE, THE DOG, THE KIDS,
THE WHOLE MISERABLE THING.
[LAUGHS] THAT DOES
SOUND MISERABLE.
-BONJOUR.
-BONJOUR.
-CA VA?
-CA VA BIEN.
OUI. MOI AUSSI.
TRES, TRES BIEN.
JE NE VOUDRAIS PAS
UN TABLE DE FENETRE.
OUI--
BUT WHY WOULDN'T YOU WAN A TABLE BY THE WINDOW?
RIGHT?
RIGHT?
WHY AM I LEARNING THAT?
[LAUGHING]
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
OH. EXCUSEZ-MOI.
YEAH.
YEAH, I CAN,
OF COURSE, YEAH.
UH, OKAY, IT'LL
HAVE TO BE MONDAY.
I'M NOT WORKING TODAY.
WELL, FUNNY
YOU SHOULD ASK.
BECAUSE
IT'S MOTHER'S DAY.
OKAY, HOLD ON.
[CAR APPROACHING]
MM! THEY'RE HERE.
THEY'RE HERE.
COME ON.
THEY DON'T KNOW
WE'RE HERE.
ARE THEY HERE?
OH! HEY, FRIEND!
HEY!
HOW ARE YA?
[LAUGHING HAPPILY]
AH, THERE SHE IS.
HI! HOW ARE YOU.
NICE TO SEE YOU.
YOU LOOK GREAT.
[SQUEALING IN EXCITEMENT]
[GIGGLING]
SO, HOW'S THE MINIVAN?
IT'S AWFUL.
[LAUGHING]
HOW'S THE BEEMER?
IT'S GREAT.
YEAH, IT IS.
MOM, IT'S A DISASTER!
LIAM KUMASAKA
HAS A GIRLFRIEND!
LIAM KUMASAKA?
ONLY THE FIFTH CUTES BOY IN SCHOOL.
OH, RIGHT.
YOU READY FOR ALL THIS?
ABSOLUTELY.
YOU SURE
YOU DON'T NEED
MOTHER'S DAY OFF?
YEAH.
I'M EXACTLY WHERE I WANT TO BE.
ME TOO.
[SQUEALING FONDLY]
WATCH ME.
OH, BABY COMIN' THROUGH.
BABY COMIN'.
[LAUGHING]
[CHATTING AND GIGGLING]
OKAY, STAIRS.
[LAUGHING]
[BRANDON]: MOM,
WE'RE OUT OF MILK!
[]