Mon Oncle (1958) Movie Script

Look what you've done now.
That's no way to behave.
I set up my goods,
and you knock them all down.
Thank you.
Thanks, Mr. Hulot.
What are you doing?
Please forgive her.
You're not a child anymore.
Go back inside.
Have a candy, Mr. Hulot?
Please do.
Get ready.
For chrissake!
Pay attention, will you?
Can't you see the red light?
In 25 years as a cabbie,
I've never seen such a thing!
Your car's fine.
Now I've seen it all!
Are you crazy?
Damn kids!
Madame, I've been driving
for a good many years.
So in principle...
brakes are made for stopping.
What do you mean?
I stopped.
Yes, but too late.
The light is red.
My taillights are working.
You could cause
a serious accident.
It was the children.
Forgive me, madame.
Little brats!
How about that?
No harm done.
Naughty boy.
I was in the neighborhood
and thought,
I must drop by and see them.
It's been so long!
What a surprise!
I know you're still working
on the house.
- We just finished the garden.
- So I see.
It's coming along!
It's starting to take shape.
You've seen the foyer before.
It's very practical.
Everything's connected.
That must be Grard.
Aren't you coming in?
All the rooms open
onto the garden.
Very pretty.
I see you've noticed my hat.
You still go
to the same hatmaker?
My head's so hard to fit!
Don't be ridiculous.
Let's go inside
and see Grard.
Grard darling,
say hello to Mrs. Dubreuil.
Grard, your manners!
You must forgive him.
Put your things away.
And don't make a mess.
Take off your shoes...
and give your hands
a good scrubbing!
You hear me?
Yes, Mom.
Hang your coat up properly,
and put your slippers on.
You see?
He doesn't even answer.
He simply won't obey.
I'm not surprised.
But when his uncle comes,
he's always ready for fun.
Is it that late?
I don't want to keep you
from your housework.
Oh, these modern homes don't...
- No, I know they're a lot of work.
- A leaf!
- Yes, it is work.
- You love it.
- You're terrible!
- Bye.
- I'll let you find your way out.
- I know my way.
See you soon.
No, it's just me!
Come quickly.
Don't make a sound.
Just look
how hard he's studying.
Like his father.
- It's half past. Shall I?
- Yes, turn it on.
Like every night
at this same time, it's...
Professor Platov's TV Hour.
Tonight's show:
Put On Your Thinking Cap!
You have any grapefruit?
Damn it!
All these grapefruit!
- 350 francs.
- That can't be right!
Excuse me.
You have a flat tire,
that's why.
The truck's leaning
to one side,
so the needle tips
the other way.
That's why
the scale's inaccurate.
I'm embarrassed
to ask such a favor,
but I'd be relieved to see
my brother-in-law in a steady...
Very well.
Tell your brother...
Your brother-in-law to see
Miss Vnier in Personnel.
May I just give him a call?
Saint-Maur 24, please.
He doesn't have a phone,
but he can always
be reached at that number.
Mr. Hulot, please.
They're going to find him.
Hello? Hulot?
This is Arpel,
your brother-in-law.
You must come down
to S.D.R.C.
Coal derivatives.
They're expecting you.
He's in a caf.
Hello? Close the door.
In 15 minutes. Right.
I'm terribly sorry.
Thank you so much, sir.
Good-bye, sir.
I'll ask
that we not be disturbed.
- This way.
- Thank you.
It's quite simple.
You begin at 8:00
and work until 12:00.
You have an hour for lunch.
You start back at 1:00...
and work until 6:00.
You have Sundays off,
of course.
One moment.
Thank you.
We'll be in touch.
We're not looking
for acrobats at the moment.
No, go out...
this way.
You can look
in the next room
without resorting
to gymnastics.
EXI May I help you?
I'm your neighbor.
Please forgive me...
but I found this in my garden.
You shouldn't have bothered.
Do come in.
Forgive how I look.
- I wouldn't want to impose.
- Not at all.
Grard, look.
See what you did?
You bad boy.
Oh, don't scold him.
I feel just awful!
Do come in.
This is the living room.
Oh, it's nothing much.
And here's Grard's room.
As you see,
everything's connected.
This is our little nook.
A Dubrocq.
It's all air-conditioned.
And my husband's factory
designed everything.
How original!
May I sit down?
That's what it's for.
My steak!
Let's see, now.
Two... four.
Step back a bit.
The sauce.
this is our neighbor.
It's all extraordinarily stylish!
You're too kind.
Excuse me.
I have a present for my son.
I have a surprise for you.
A nice locomotive.
You like it?
You're so lucky.
I'm all alone...
in my big old shack.
My umbrella.
See you soon.
Ah, he came in?
Not Hublot. Hulot.
What's that?
Climbed up on the desk?
To see what?
Hello? Sir...
My hat's off to your brother!
- Come inside.
- Your brother!
Thirty seconds,
he set a record!
After I recommended him
to the president!
Everything okay?
Just fine.
Charles, I have an idea.
Since his uncle's free now,
he can take Grard out.
Your father.
Be careful.
Charles, coffee is served.
Go on.
Run for it!
Very funny.
Get your crullers here, boys.
Nice and tasty.
Piping hot...
with a nice helping of jam.
Double jam, please.
There you go.
- And sugar too?
- Of course.
Lots of sugar.
There you go, kid.
- I want a big one.
- Coming up.
Hurry up.
Got any money?
Here comes one now.
Your turn.
You win.
Cough up some dough.
Come on.
We're playing again.
You lose.
Hand over the dough.
Me too.
Stay here
and keep an eye out.
He's calling us.
Let's go!
Hurry up!
Your turn.
You lose.
- I win!
- No, you don't!
Pay up.
- Doesn't count if they turn around!
- You got some nerve!
That's cheating!
Quiet! Let's play.
Bernard, sidetrack her.
Go on, Grard.
Oh, very funny!
You should be ashamed.
What's the world coming to?
Hey, I sidetracked her.
This is madness!
That's the last straw!
That's going too far!
If the boy doesn't like it here,
he can just say so.
After all...
Who built this house?
I did.
His schooling, his clothes...
all my doing.
Perhaps someone wants
to take my place?
Don't be shy. Why not?
Go on!
Not hungry?
What's wrong?
Are you sick?
I'm fed up!
It's always "my uncle"!
He's no role model for the boy!
Far from it.
On the contrary.
Charles, don't get so upset.
What my brother needs is...
a goal.
A home.
All this.
Hear that? It's our neighbor.
Come look.
She's single,
and a marvelous housekeeper.
She's tidy, methodical,
and attractive.
When I saw her,
I thought she might...
You know, for my brother.
You'll see.
Look there.
Her house is better kept
than ours.
No, I admit it.
I thought I'd give
a little party on Sunday,
just a few friends.
Nothing formal.
A simple garden party.
That's enough now, boys.
Very funny!
Nice one!
Mr. Hulot!
Go on inside.
You're always underfoot.
Mr. Vincent,
how are you today?
I ironed it.
Want to come along?
It's my Sunday pastime.
Come have a drink.
Just a quick one.
Come have a drink.
Gaston, we're waiting.
Come on.
Georgette, be careful.
I've got it, ma'am.
My husband's on his way.
The guests are due,
and nothing's ready.
- What do I owe you, my friend?
- 650.
Then you shall have them.
Keep the change.
Charles, take this tray.
Oh, never mind.
Georgette, come here.
Follow me.
They're here!
No, we don't need anything.
handle that, please.
What is it?
Please don't insist.
You heard my wife.
We don't need any rugs.
We have all we need.
It's our neighbor!
How good of you to come!
I hope I'm not early.
Come in.
We're expecting the Pichards,
the Walters,
and my brother.
Grard, come say hello.
Your right hand, dear.
Now I must go and...
Go right ahead.
Did we put on
our best little tie?
Are we a big boy?
Are we a good boy?
I know some nice stories.
And I can make
lovely paper birds.
Charles, your guests.
Ah, Pichard. I'm coming.
Mrs. Arpel...
Mr. Arpel...
The flowers.
- How kind!
- Plastic. They never wilt.
They do smell like rubber.
Come see the house.
This is the fountain.
Walter, good to see you.
This is Pichard,
my department manager.
Please sit down.
I'll tell your mother.
We produced 131,000 feet
of plastic hose this month.
An impressive figure.
And we don't even have
our new equipment yet.
Follow me, Georgette.
Refreshments, my friends.
Help yourselves.
Georgette, the gate.
It's my brother.
We waited for you.
Come, Walter.
Let's talk on the terrace.
So what's new?
Stock prices look good.
Yes, certain indexes
show solid gains.
And listed securities
aren't the only active shares.
You two are too serious!
Come have
some delicious tidbits.
The ladies are asking for you.
- Pichard.
- Yes, Mr. Arpel?
Good old Pichard!
We've worked together
for quite a few years.
I had an idea this morning.
Business is good.
Production is up.
Come here.
This is my brother-in-law.
Mr. Pichard, my associate.
To continue with my idea,
my brother-in-law needs
to settle down
and have a goal in life.
I'm sure you understand.
It's time
he got set up in life.
So I plan on bringing him
into the factory.
you know how I trust you.
Go ahead.
This is the living room.
Oh, my!
It's kind of empty.
It's modern.
Everything's connected.
Grard's room,
and the kitchen...
but I can't let you see it.
- You must!
- Oh, you're terrible!
It's a triumph!
My dears,
this is my little kingdom.
For the dishes.
For the laundry.
I press here for vegetables.
Charles, Mr. Walter.
- He thinks of nothing but the factory.
- Just like my husband.
After you.
Very well.
I'll lead the way.
I'm right behind you,
Mrs. Arpel...
step by step.
Here we are again.
Let's all sit down.
- This is my brother.
- No, it's not me...
Our little neighbor.
Don't mind him.
He's a bit absent-minded.
Mr. Pichard
next to Mrs. Walter.
I'll be with you in a moment.
Some tea?
My dear...
won't you sit
on the other side?
You'll be more comfortable.
Come sit with us.
Our charming neighbor,
and my brother.
There's a chair for you.
Next to our friend.
Stick this in the ground.
Very practical.
My husband's hiring him
at the plant.
Some gin with lemon.
Very refreshing.
I'll leave you two.
You can be
her gallant escort.
I know a good one-liner.
Your sister
is truly charming...
and an amazing housewife
with exceptional abilities.
She's extraordinary.
And Mr. Arpel is remarkable
in every respect.
Authoritative, yet relaxed.
They're a model couple.
- Don't you agree?
- What?
I said
they're a model couple.
What a joy
for a woman to be able...
to run a home, have a goal,
have someone who...
But how I go on!
I forgot to pour your tea.
Bring your cup closer.
Oh, I'm so clumsy.
And when I say clumsy...
it's no exaggeration.
But never mind.
That orangeade
is indeed refreshing.
The ground's all wet here.
Let's move to where it's dry.
Where did it come from?
My fountain!
It's not working.
- Georgette!
- It wasn't me.
Don't just stand there.
Help me.
I'm sure you must have
fiddled with it.
Mr. Arpel tells me your husband
has a very important job.
What's going on?
Turn it off, Georgette.
No, the other way.
Keep calm, now.
It's probably just a leak.
I'll have it fixed tomorrow.
Boss, we can't leave it
like that.
- What can we do?
- You'll see.
Trust me.
I know what I'm doing.
Grard, get the toolbox.
My poor Pichard.
Let's move somewhere else.
Careful, Georgette.
I'll take the fragile items.
Come along, everyone.
I'll lead the way.
- Onward!
- Here we go.
- Let's take the central path.
- What an adventure!
We'll find a quiet spot.
Follow me.
Georgette, your umbrella's
blocking the view.
Come sit down here.
Georgette, stay there.
Mrs. Pichard... here.
And now the table...
Everyone to the left.
We'll never fit!
Then you take over.
Mrs. Pichard, take the table.
I'll guide you.
Around this way.
Now we're on the right path.
Watch your step.
Stay out of the way.
My brother will help you.
The chair. Help us.
Thank you.
You know the Champarts?
They remodeled
a Directoire bungalow.
It's just adorable.
I almost forgot tea
for our dear friend.
It's for your brother.
My escort
must have a match.
He's so tall!
I'm saved.
Search no longer.
He's truly attentive,
which is rare these days.
Admit it, gentlemen,
gallantry is dying.
Men think only of business.
Your brother's disappeared.
Where did he go?
Ah, there you are.
I haven't forgotten you.
I'm right here.
Workers first!
You should look after him.
You even make him work
on Sunday.
Darling, come undo my tie.
Hurry up.
I can't wait.
Let me help.
We can't let you do it all alone.
No, you stay
with your guests.
Such hard workers!
It won't be long now.
It's fixed!
Turn it on now.
Run to your controls.
Turn on the water.
My jacket.
Here you are.
It'll work. You'll see.
I don't understand.
I don't get it.
Wonderful water pressure!
You know who that is?
A friend has come for me.
An extraordinary horseman.
Did you hurt yourself?
He's hurt.
This is no time
to play Indians.
My garden!
There he is!
Grab the little one.
He's fierce.
Well done.
Don't stand there gawking.
Help me.
Very funny!
You sure you're not hurt?
Not at all. Good-bye.
My poor Pichard,
you're a mess.
Someone had to do it.
It's fixed now.
See you at the plant.
Your gloves.
It's nothing.
But you got our flowers?
That's what's important.
Your glass.
Go away!
See you tonight.
Come on, hurry.
Would you hold this?
I'll get the door.
Go on.
It's a surprise
for my husband.
For our wedding anniversary.
It must all be working
by tonight.
Your client.
The director's here.
He's expecting you.
Good morning.
If you'd be so kind.
Here are samples
of our plastic hoses.
Plastac has
sole marketing rights.
There's green hose for lawns,
and here's our latest...
Remy in Lyon
is inquiring if we can deliver.
Of course.
Tell Mr. Hulot.
- Pichard, how are you?
- Oh, you know...
a bit stiff today.
Pichard, my right-hand man.
If you'll excuse me, sir.
Pichard, show him
around the plant.
My new car's here.
Sir, let me show you
our new production line.
If you'll come with me.
This way, please.
After you.
No, to the right.
Good morning.
Here she is.
Nice lines, eh?
How many cylinders...
Don't worry about cylinders.
You'll never have to open the hood.
Let's talk instead
about comfort.
And just look at this finish.
And the workmanship!
The door closes with one finger.
Same for the rear.
Look here.
Now that you've seen
all that...
The suspension can't be beat.
I'll be right back.
Keep an eye on No. 5, okay?
Here, polymerization
is accelerated by a catalyst.
I don't know what happened.
You almost have enough
to open a hot-dog stand!
Old man Arpel's going
into the sausage business!
Better get rid of that.
Cut the comedy.
The trunk can hold
several suitcases.
Here's the spare tire,
and the radio antenna.
The trunk can be
extremely useful.
Let me give you the papers.
Here's the registration
and the keys.
Everything's in order.
I showed him the entire plant.
He was very impressed.
- Thank you for coming.
- Not at all.
I must speak to you
about something.
- Excuse us.
- I'll be back.
Look what he's making.
It can't be! He did this?
Your signature, sir.
I'm sorry, but...
Send Mr. Hulot here at once.
Not a word about the car
to my wife.
It's a surprise
for our wedding anniversary.
You can count on me.
Turn the new dial, Georgette.
It's him.
Mr. Arpel's home.
Open the gate.
Happy anniversary.
What's all this?
It's a surprise.
It certainly is!
You just walk
between these posts.
No need for a key.
Just what you wanted, isn't it?
- Happy?
- Wait.
- Happy anniversary.
- A new car!
It's wonderful!
It's so beautiful.
Wait, I'll get in with you.
Come here.
It had to be him.
He has to pass through again.
Come here, Daki!
Here he comes.
Daki, come on.
It's not working.
What do we do now?
- Daki, go back.
- If you yell at him...
We have to get out.
Let's call Georgette.
- Madame?
- Open the door.
The dial on the right.
Not that one.
The top one.
We're locked in the garage.
In the garage?
Georgette, listen.
- See the two lights?
- Yes, madame.
To open the door,
just step through the beam of light.
No, I can't!
I'm terrified of electricity.
There's absolutely no danger.
Just walk in front
of the electric eye.
The electric what?
I'll be electrocuted.
Just close your eyes.
Be brave!
Walk this way.
Come on.
- This is ridiculous!
- There's no need to be afraid!
It scares me.
I can't help it.
Close the gate.
At least that's not electric.
Someone jumped!
I see blood!
Don't go in!
See? I told you.
- You'll get sick.
- Bastards!
Stay out of this.
Stay there.
We could go
to the Sexy Club.
I prefer Constantino
and his nice music.
Hey, wait for us!
Proud of yourself, ain't ya?
Just look at you,
driving all by yourself!
Hey, keep it down!
You'll wake
the whole neighborhood.
Who do you think I am?
Don't offend me.
Keep your money.
We had a nice time,
didn't we?
And what an orchestra!
That's our sofa!
This can't continue.
It's getting ridiculous!
He's a bad example
for Grard.
- Now, listen.
- What?
All he ever talks about
is his uncle!
- You're just jealous.
- What?
- You're jealous of him.
- Jealous? Me?
- Look at him.
- Try to be fair.
He has to go.
Hulot, Pichard needs
a sales rep in the provinces.
You'll be perfect.
My mind's made up.
What a mess!
Turn the dial!
You forgot your gloves.
You forgot your gloves.
You're leaving?
Too bad.
Mr. Hulot.
How about a red stripe?
It could use it.
Let's go!