Mondo Bobo (1997) Movie Script

The following story is inspired
by real people and events
My throat is fucked up.
Is this going to end today?
Dude, we're doing this job for 7 days
now. Did you leave him a message?
I did: "Be there in given time...
... and we'll kick your ass."
Okay, then he'll be here.
Come on...
Fucking elevator.
THE JOURNALIS You must understand, I changed my
mind. I don't want to be responsible.
And I don't want to
work on this anymore.
I must have some fun. I want to work
on something... to write something...
To write what? I don't know.
I don't see the meaning of
writing anything anymore.
Tell me what you saw.
I don't know. There's a dead man.
I don't know. Dead.
What happened, huh? What did you see?
- Nothing.
Hmm... This is a good
beginning of a good story.
What story?
- I remember that like it was yesterday.
It was a nice day, sunny day.
Maybe a bit chilly.
I arrived here, in my office
sometime around 9 o'clock.
I made a cup of my usual coffee.
Would you like a coffee?
- No, thanks. Let's talk about your client.
It's time for second edition of daily news.
The news are: Mafia confrontations
are becoming frequent in Zagreb.
People have no respect for other people's lives.
Z.K. has died, and S.S. is severely injured.
This hapened during a fight
which looks like a Mafia war.
Prime suspect for murder is B.M., the owner of
a shop in his building, where the murder happened.
Off the record, we found out that Z.K.
and S.S. harassed B.M. for several months.
One time they even assaulted him physically,
allegedly because of unpaid racket or "protection".
Look, your gun...
What are we going to do about it?
You got it as a gift from your father,
grandfather... It's a souvenir of some kind.
Hey, look at this.
Would you fuck her? Of course you would.
You know what they say...
Cars are made for fucking around.
Please be careful what you say.
I told you. Look, if you don't know something
it's better to shut up than start blabbering
about your so-called justice, okay? Law
and justice don't have much in common.
Absolutely nothing. They're like
apples and oranges. Do you understand?
Are you listening to me?
Okay. Now, about that gun of yours.
Where did you get it?
Do you have a licence for it?
No, I don't have a licence for it.
You don't?
Where did you get the bullets then?
I bought the bullets.
- "I bought the bullets!"
Are you stupid? What you just told me
is worth about 12 years in prison.
I bought them a long time ago.
To try out the gun, and I didn't.
Okay, but you have to tell me
these things. It's very important.
I bought them a year or two ago.
That's better. That's much better.
All we have to do now
is find a witness
who can testify you
bought them a year ago.
Dear listeners, times are difficult.
And now, weather forecast:
Unsettled weather should last.
Real spring is expected
this the weekend.
So, is it settled then? Look, there's lot of
extenuating circumstances in your case.
You don't have to worry.
We just have to be smart.
Shall we?
Come on, that's a piece of cake.
That's only cops.
They can't do anything to you.
How are you?
It's very important what
the experts will say.
Psychiatrists, phychologists...
And please, tell them
everything from the beginning.
Childhood, mother, father, marriage.
Everything that happened.
You remember what I told you, right?
That's it.
Why're you so fucked up?
It's not the end of the world.
You'll go to jail, so what?
It happens.
Look, you killed a man.
I didn't kill a man.
I mean, look...
I'll get you out of this.
Okay, it'll cost you, but it's
better to pay than to rot in jail.
Look, please... You have to...
No, you don't have to,
but I would like you to trust me.
And I mean completely trust me.
And I hope you'll do exactly as I say,
and everything should go smoothly.
Just please don't be affraid and please
don't panic and everything will be okay.
I'll call you.
He's stone dead.
- Yeah. He's a "solo killer".
Dope, huh?
- Yeah, dope. You can see for yourself.
It's because of a low-quality drug.
They put god-knows-what in it.
The guy probably doesn't
know what he took.
You know what?
I think you should legalize drugs.
You buy it,
and you know what you bought.
You're crazy.
- "I'm crazy"?
Have you ever been to Amsterdam?
In Amsterdam there are no
dead junkies around. Nowhere.
I've never been to Amsterdam.
Things happen on their own.
This city isn't what it used to be.
Closer. Come closer.
That's it.
Lift your head up a bit.
No, don't smile. There.
Now we'll shoot a happy one (photo).
Fuck... what's the world coming to.
Hey, baby... Do you know
what happened yesterday?
I'm hanging out down by
the theatre and drinking.
So, two chicks come by,
and they're smoking hot.
Listen, listen...
they're 16 years old.
And one of them comes
to me and she says...
she looks me in the eyes and says:
"I wanna fuck you."
No, listen, listen.. She says we
can't go to her place, blah blah blah
and she wants to take me
to her friend's place
because she has an empty apartment.
But the catch is,
the other one wants to fuck me, too.
You get it? They both want to fuck
me and I'm twice older then them.
I can't believe this.
Why are you telling me that?
I mean, what now? I have to be jealous? Spit you?
Get out of the car? Slap you? Say something?
I don't understand. Why are you telling me this?
- Because...
Why are you telling me right NOW? You can
really find the worst possible moment.
It's incredible.
It looks like you're trying to do it.
Stop giving me that shit...
- I'm telling you that you
have absolutely no tact.
- I'm just telling you what's going on.
What? What's going on? What?
Lots of things happen,
but not two 16-year-olds. Christ.
I created you and now you're fucking with me.
- What did you just say?
What did you do?
- Shut up. Nevermind.
No, no. What did you say? "I..." what?
- Listen....
NO! Get your hands off.
What did you say?
- Move your fucking hand!
Nevermind that...
How will I know that the baby's mine?
How will I know?
- Fuck you, bitch.
I was terribly affraid.
I was really affraid on that roof.
But fortunately, I have no idea what they
were talking about. I didn't hear a thing.
The court has issued a warrant to start the
investigation on the account of a murder and
attempted murder, described in the
paragraph 135 of the criminal law.
The defendant will be held in custody
until the end of investigation.
Defendant! Do you understand the
accusations and do you feel guilty?
The defendant doesn't feel guilty
because he was provoked by two men.
Did you drink that day and how much?
I didn't drink anything that day.
Are you sure?
You didn't drink not even a little?
No. I don't like drinking.
Tell me... those problems you have...
do they occur often?
Headaches, dizziness...
Yes. Sometimes the pain is
so intense it keeps me awake.
Goddamn piece of shit!
Come on, let's play.
Here's the nice golden ball.
It goes round round round...
Let's see, where is it?
Let's bet.
- This is mine. - That's mine.
Come on, let's see...
The defendant is sent in
the psychology department
for mental health for observations.
- It's hard to say in one sentence.
But I could say that the
results of the tests made
shown that the defendant
is very intelligent
well educated and I dare to say
anti-social since the early childhood.
Emotionally unstable,
he can't control his actions
and doesn't fully
understand the severity of
the crimes he committed.
Because of that,
a hospital treatment is required
because he couldn't cope
with pressure of being in jail.
Good afternoon everybody.
How are you, Tati?
The tarantulas are
developing very good.
They grow to the size of humans.
Very good.
They own extraordinary amount of energy
and they regenerate it constantly.
Using that energy, I made a contact
with them on a telepathic level.
I injected a human being
with their growth gene.
I believe in success.
I think that I'll have a
super-woman-spider in a matter of days.
I believe everything is going fine
and it'll be even better tomorrow.
Take care.
Hello, Miki. What's going on?
- I have to ask you something.
Do you really believe that the world
is like the scientists say it is?
There's so much more to discover,
but the people are lazy.
They know a little and they
think they know everything.
It'll be okay. Believe me.
Hello there, my friend.
How are you today?
I'm fine, thanks for asking.
How about you?
Things will get better, pal.
Take care. I'll see you tomorrow.
indinstict murmuring
Who is he? That wasn't
important and I didn't know.
He was one of those
who had to be killed.
I say "him" and bang. No problem.
This time... it didn't go as planned.
I consider myself lucky.
One is dead, the other in the asylum.
And I...
You know how I used to live.
Whenever, wherever, however...
And look me now.
Motive? Because. Him. There.
How the fuck should I know?
Don't investigate that.
It's for the best.
Please, let's not fight.
Trust me, it's going to be alright.
Everything will be okay.
Just trust me. Please.
Write to me.
I love you.
You're crazy.
You've gone completely insane.
You think about her all the time.
You're thinking "Who is she with now?".
Hello. - Hello.
Hello. - Hello.
This is hotline.
Who are you?
- I'm a woman.
A woman?
I lost my memory, I can't remember.
I'm alone. I'm free and single.
- Than who am I?
Help me, I can't remember.
- How does your body look?
How do you look like?
- I don't know. I'm young.
Are you handsome?
- I'm tall. I'm slim. Well, I'm proportional.
Reach in your pants and
tell me what you find there.
Everything is here.
Addressed to my office.
Go ahead, look at it.
"My old friend, many greetings.
I want you to know I
think about you often."
"I'll always remember
what you've done for me.
Say hi to your wife and son for me."
- Hi.
What's going on?
- Nothing much. A car accident.
Two car thefts and one
psycho walked out of the
mental institution
wearing only his pajamas.
Yes. Come on' take a doughnut.
Take this one.
I think I know who is he.
- Huh?
He escaped, and she planned
the whole thing. It was her.
Besides that, the teddybear
has to go to bed. Goodbye.
It was really hard to believe he
really escaped. I don't understand.
I took him to the police station.
We talked.
He listened to all of my advices.
I don't know.
I really don't understand.
And after that, a letter has arrived.
He wrote that he's totally insane,
that he's scared of the death penalty,
that he can't be really in jail.
He was really panicking.
Did you take everything?
- Everything.
Are you sure?
- Yes.
Okay then.
You're wearing your shirt backwards.
That girlfriend of his. Beautiful girl.
- I know.
He adored her. He loved her very much.
He would do everything, EVERYTHING for her.
I saw her when she visited him.
- I know! He's in Mexico.
Who are you?
I'm a hunter.
- You're a real hunter?
Yes, I am.
- What do you hunt?
Well, different kinds of animals.
What kind of animals?
- Rabbits, birds...
And why do you hunt?
Because of the passion.
- What is passion?
Why are you so quiet all the time?
I look at you: young, cool...
You surely love chicks
as much as I do.
In this line of work,
all you do is fuck.
I love chicks so much...
more than anything.
I love sex so much,
I have to touch them.
You know, those nice,
meaty titties...
She comes here,
and she looks at you, all confused.
You just put your hand inside,
feel her up a little bit.
You reach for the
taximeter and grab her.
You check out if she has panties...
Did you know some of the
girls don't even wear them?
They're walking around with no panties.
How am I supposed to interpret that?
You can really see everything around here.
The other day, some chick, she has no money,
but you haven't seen a girl
like that for a long time...
Slim, cute little bellybutton,
a nice shirt.
She comes here and says
"I have no money.".
Well, if you don't have it,
you don't have it.
What can I do?
You must surely have something.
She had such titties...
I put my hands inside her shirt,
she had a small black bra,
I removed it instantly,
her nipples were revealed,
and I fucked her.
I parked the car and in the
middle of the day we had sex.
She's talented for blowjobs.
How did it go?
Did anything happen to you?
We're okay...
But as you can see, she isn't.
Do you have some salted sticks?
- Forget about salted sticks.
I'm serious, I'm feeling sick.
- I don't have them, I told you already.
How is he? Do you know anything?
- We'll take care of him. Today.
You'll see.
Did you ever have a dream in
which you're marrying a hooker?
You fall in love with a hooker like an
idiot. And she falls in love with you.
You are so in love,
you want to marry her.
And it's expected that
she'll stop working.
But you need money to
start your life together.
You need money to pay for wedding.
So she works just a little
bit more so she can earn it
and you get married,
but she's pregnant with a guy
whom she was with
before you got married.
And you decide to keep the baby.
And you have to live with the baby.
And you don't have money,
and she has to work.
And that's not your kid.
That's not your wife. She has to work.
Hey, dude, who's going to pay me?
I mean...
Oh, fuck.
Dude, I don't have the change, I can't return
your money, you're my first customer today.
What the fuck is wrong with him?
The guy's completely crazy.
Do you throw money like
that for your mother too?
The guys I let in my car...
for fuck's sake.
Completely insane.
What the fuck pissed him off anyway?
He couldn't stand injustice.
And he was unrighteous.
He was like Sisyphus.
Can you imagine Sisyphus happy?
Eat before it gets cold.
Come on, drink.
It's on me.
How are things going for you?
- Well, it's not that bad. Really.
This is an interesting place.
Lots of weird people stop by.
They come and go.
Mostly truckers.
- Are they violent?
Violent? No, no...
They' re funny.
They have amazing stories sometimes.
They're traveling around.
They talk about where they're
coming from and where they're going.
They're mostly single.
Life isn't easy on them.
I think they're good people.
- How do you know?
I don't really know,
but they seem good.
I never had any problems with them.
Do you smoke?
- Do you?
These are good.
- You don't like guys, huh?
Don't ask me that.
- Fair enough.
Your sunglasses are nice.
- Take them.
May I?
I'd like to see you dance.
Come on, let's go!
Babe, stand still. Just don't move
and nothing's going to happen.
Come on, hurry up! The cash is
in the register for fuck's sake!
Come on!
Come on, take it.
Hurry up, we have to go!
Come on, rob her now, you faggot!
Come on!
Leave the girl and scram.
Come on, you pieces of shit!
Leave the girl and go,
I'm telling you for the last time.
Come on, you pussies!
Hello, it's me.
Can you write? Are you ready?
Today, in the restorant on
the margine of the city,
two dead bodies have
been discovered. Period.
Under unknown circumstances, comma,
R.M. (34) has died.
And one unidentified
male also. Period.
Investigation is ongoing
at the moment. Period.
I strongly believe he's no criminal.
He's a honest man. If he wasn't,
he wouldn't end up like this.
I mean, people don't
appreciate honest men anymore.
If he was a professional,
he would probably be
in Guatemala,
in New Guinea, as we speak.
Come on, dude, say something.
Holy fucking shit. Damn.
I can't believe this. Shit.
You're not dead, right?
Answer me.
We're almost in the hospital.
Hey, you're alive.
Hey, just be relaxed.
No hospitals, okay?
Okay. No hospitals. Okay
- What is it now?
Who told you to stop? Drive!
We're out of gas.
We should have filled it up.
- It's your own fault.
Jumping in front of my car like that
and harassing me here.
I should have left you
by the road like a dog.
Stop this car by all means possible.
Do you understand?
Good afternoon.
So, you have some car problems ma'am,
It won't start?
You don't have enough fuel?
Well, I hope you'll learn something
from this mistake. Are you alone?
Yes, I am. So if you could please help me...
- Sure, no problem.
Don't reach for your weapon!
- Keep still.
- Just nice and easy.
Just nice and easy.
Give it here.
Hold it.
police radio
radio: What's going on?
- I got him.
Hey! Hey!
- I have some work to do.
I'm going with you.
- No fucking way.
Come on.
You stupid cunt!
Don't yell ever again.
- Don't touch me!
I'm sorry.
I'm not that guy you think I am.
Please, let me go.
You're safe now and
you don't need me.
You'll be better off without me.
If it's the sex you want...
nobody will know.
How many people have you killed?
Don't be a smartmouth.
What do you know about that?
Since you jumped out in front of my car,
I know about one. That police officer.
Don't look at me like that.
To kill a man, that's no problem.
Getting away with murder...
that's the problem.
So, those bastards are finally here.
Don't shoot. Let's talk this over.
Look, I'm unarmed. Can you see that?
I'm shot. I'm shot.
Those stupid cunts shot me!
Calm down.
Those stupid motherfuckers,
they shot ME!
Just calm down.
Nobody's going to die.
Help me, help me please.
- Shut up!
Get me a doctor, get me a doctor.
- Just don't panic.
Everything is going to be fine.
- Get me a doctor!
That's nothing. You'll be fine.
Oh, mommy, it hurts!
You'll be fine,
everything is going to be okay.
Oh god, I'm going to die.
Get me a doctor, please.
Please, don't let me die like this.
HEY! You cunts! Get me a doctor!
- Oh god, please get me a doctor.
Hey, you pigs! Get a doctor here now!
I'm so scared. I'll die here.
- No, you won't.
You'll be okay.
Nobody is going to die. Nobody.
I'm now near the house where the
escaped prisoner is located.
Police forces have surrounded him.
When the police asked him to
surrender, he started shooting.
There's a woman inside the house,
and she probably got
shot by the police.
I expect him to surrender and I hope this
will all end soon, without any casualties.
What about that woman? She's wounded.
- He's probably lying.
And what if he isn't?
Hello there!
Hello, can you hear me?
It's me, your lawyer!
Hold on. This isn't looking good, but you're
not going to die, okay? Dying isn't that easy.
I'm here behind the house!
Do you hear me? Hello?
Look, I'm here to get you out of
this mess you got yourself into.
Please, answer me. Hello?
Come out.
Come out where I can see you!
I won't hurt you!
Well, I don't know. Wait. Hold on just a
moment and don't do anything stupid, please.
I have to talk to the police.
Okay? I have to talk to them.
Hey, baby, don't die on me now.
You're all I have.
Surrendering is not an option.
Not anymore.
We're moving on.
You'll get your doctor.
Can you give me the official statement?
- Stop bugging me, I'm over my head in work.
Hello. How are you?
Tell me, what do you want to know?
Please, tell me what do
you think about this case.
Do you think you can talk
him into surrendering?
Well, I really don't know. He's
very scared and... -Oh God no!
It's okay.
Go on, please.
He's affraid. He doesn't recognize
my voice over the megaphone.
I guess I'll have to go there and...
show myself.
- Are you scared?
Well, no. We went to school together and
we know each other since we were kids.
We played with marbles together
and he really loves me
and knows me and he
will listen to me.
I hope everything will be alright.
- Thank you.
Will they call the doctor?
- Maybe.
Hey! I'm coming out now.
I have a red megaphone
and I'm not armed. Okay?
I'm coming.
You can see for yourself.
I don't have a weapon. Okay?
Please, tell me; do you
recognize me now? Can you see me?
I can see you, attorney.
I see you clearly.
Listen, you really
don't stand a chance.
Please, surrender now.
There's a shitload of police here.
You really don't stand a chance.
So please,
surrender now,
before you fucked it up even worse.
I can still get you out of this.
Do you hear me?
I can't help you if you start killing police
now. You'll end up in jail. I don't know.
Please, turn yourself in.
Do you hear me?
Come inside and we'll talk.
I won't hurt you.
I can't. The police forbids it.
Fuck the police!
Fuck them! They can't touch you!
Look, it's not that simple.
I have to look after you.
I have to obey the law.
Do you understand?
Please, come out of the house.
- You don't trust me!
It's nothing like that. I trust you.
But the cops don't believe you, okay?
Come on, please come out of
the house and we'll talk. Okay?
I have a injured woman here!
Get me a doctor! She's dying here!
Look, surrender while you
still have a chance. Okay?
Go away! I'll shoot! I'll shoot!
Wait, wait, wait!
What's the matter?
Why aren't you shooting?
Come on, I have a bullet
for every one of you!
Hey! Get me a doctor!
She's dying!
Let go of me!
You fucks!
Save her!
She did nothing wrong!
Hey, I talked to the cops.
They say they'll send a doctor
and everything will be okay.
But they need to hear the girl,
in order to know she's still alive.
Please, tell her to say something.
just so they can hear her voice.
It's very important for
them to know she's alive.
You don't trust me! Hey!
Get me reporters! Get me TV cameras!
I want to tell them everything!
Look, there are no reporters here.
Or TV cameras.
Come out and I promise,
I'll get them for you.
But you have to come out first.
Just calm down,
and don't make any problems.
Let the girl say something.
Save her. She'll bleed to death.
She'll bleed to death!
We couldn't do anything.
Time was just flying.
We were all crazed with
desire to make him surrender.
I don't know what I would have done.
I'd shake his hand, hug him, if only
he came out of that fucking house.
Police really did everything by the
book, but... It just wouldn't end.
I'm cold. And I'm scared. Hey!
I'm so affraid. Please, hug me.
Hug me, I'm affraid,
hey, come here, please.
I'm so scared, I'm so scared.
And I'm so cold.
You're doing okay.
Everything will be okay.
Hold on just a little bit more.
You're a brave girl.
Just a little bit more. You can do it.
- I'm trembling. I'm so cold.
The doctor will arrive soon.
- It's so cold.
I'm so sorry.
No... not now... hey?
don't trust mister penis
'cause he doesn't know
anything about romance
and you're that guy,
you're that patient
Yasushi Akashi conductor
Written and directed by
Menta.......... Thanks to: JimBal & hostyle
Made exclusively for Cinemageddon
Requested by: jickabee