Monster Family (2017) Movie Script

Hot, hot, hot! Ow, sun, sun.
Oh, no.
Okay, then. On your marks.
It's not unusual to be
loved by anyone
It's not unusual to have
fun with anyone
If you should ever want
to be loved by anyone
It's not unusual to find
that I'm in love with you
I'm just a bat, myself.
Stop it.
I am the Prince of Darkness.
I do not do cuddly!
...right there in front of everybody,
"Keep the car, it'll be worth it"...
I'm sorry.
No, not worth it to "ow".
Worth it to get rid of her.
Quiet! What is that noise?
Do you hear that?
Oh, it's me.
It's my pocket vibrating.
Er, hello?
Oh, hi. I want your teeth.
Excuse me?
- Your fake vampire teeth. You see...
...I've been looking everywhere.
You are my last hope.
I can assure you, madam,
I may be getting on in years...
...but my teeth
are very much my own.
This is 'Vampires R Us'?
The costume store?
This is Dracula.
The Prince of Darkness.
No? The Bat Out Of Hell.
The Scourge of Transylvania.
King of bats.
Okay... Dracula.
I'm hanging up now.
Stop! No, please don't hang up.
Er, why not?
It's...'s just so nice to finally have
someone to talk to.
Are you lonely?
So, so very lonely.
Well, we could chat some more
if you want?
I would like that very much.
What's your name,
fair maiden?
Emma. Emma Wishbone.
Well, Emma Wishbone, maybe... was fate itself
that brought us together.
Are you alright?
I'm sorry, that was lame.
Hello? Hello, Emma?!
- Oh, come back!
Hello? I can barely hear you.
Great. Now I get to buy a
new phone I can't afford.
Off, you stupid thing!
Emma Wishbone
Find me Emma Wishbone.
And I will make her my wife.
And bring in my washing.
I think it's going to rain.
Do you know what today is not,
Your day?
Darling, you say that every day.
Yes, but today, instead of calling a
costume store, I ended up talking to Dracula.
And because of that,
my phone fell into the drain.
Who did you speak to?
Just some weirdo.
Why do these things keep happening?
Let me relax you with a massage.
It's as if there's a curse
on this entire family.
Max is having a hard time at school
and the shop is in decline.
Max, show us your experiment.
Fellow classmates, I present you -
the Solar System.
Our group of planets
orbit the magnificent Sun.
It burns at
27 million degrees Fahrenheit.
But one day, in around
five billion years time...
...the Sun will start to cool
and the Earth will be plunged...
...into a deadly ice age.
The whole planet will be covered with ice.
And all life will end.
Any questions?
Yeah. How do you wanna die?
My daughter Fay...
...desperately wants to be
a grown-up.
"I'm the only one for you"
"Because I only love me
I only love me"
Fay, if you fancy this guy so much,
why not talk to him?
He only goes for model material.
"I only love me on my own."
- That is just so cool. - Awesome.
Is it something new of yours?
- Yes...
You're really pretty, Fay.
- Sure. Didn't you see my last magazine cover?
Well then, see you tonight,
Oh, no, Sheila,
he's coming over here.
So you smile then say 'Hi'.
- That's way too complicated.
No, all you need is a push.
Well that's one way of meeting.
What's your name?
Er, Girdl.
You're called Girdl?
Okay, Flam.
Do you feel like
getting off me now?
- Oh, Fay.
- Yeah, sure.
Earth to Fay.
- We're looking for...
...some pretty girls for our new video.
And we're shooting it tonight.
- So, you're a pretty girl.
I am?
- See you tonight.
He thinks I'm pretty.
Isn't that your brother over there?
- Brother? Who?
Oi, get back here, you geek!
And Frank,
Frank is never home.
Wishbone, I want these
loan applications by tomorrow.
But I wanted to be home on
time today to see my family.
You love your family?
- Yeah, of course.
Then avoid getting fired!
Leaving them with absolutely
nothing to eat.
What is that?
- Stress gives me wind.
Sorry, guys.
- Come on, Frank!
Smells like something crawled
inside you and died.
And now I can't even find
vampire teeth for my costume.
I just wanted us to do
something as a family again.
We used to have so much fun.
Dressing up, going to parties.
Look what I've found.
Where did you get them?
- Charity shop.
Used teeth.
Just one careful owner.
What's wrong?
- I just wish we had a party to go to.
You mean like this?
Monster Costume Party.
- Wow.
Cheyenne, this is perfect!
My family will love it!
When was the last time
we did something fun together?
Don't know, don't care.
One year, nine months
and 23 days ago.
So we've got some
catching up to do.
I've got to get ready for my date.
And I need to catch up on cold fusion.
I've got work to do.
But I've already made
the costumes, see?
My baby don't care for rings
Or other expensive things
My babyjust cares...
for me
My babyjust cares for me
My dear old friend, what would you say
if I offered you your freedom?
Release me?
If you can still perform
your transformation spell.
I can.
My amulet.
By fire, by light,
by all things bright!
Here, prove it on this.
Don't we look great?
Mum, you're really embarrassing.
No matter...
No matter what I do,
you think I'm embarrassing.
When I put on make-up, I'm embarrassing.
When I don't, I'm embarrassing.
When I wear a miniskirt, I'm embarrassing.
- No, then you're not embarrassing.
I'm not?
You're just really sad.
Well I think mum is beautiful.
- Don't be so scared all the time.
I'm not scared.
If you stood up for yourself,
you wouldn't get beaten up.
Are you being bullied at school?
I'd rather be a suck-up
than fail my exams.
You're failing your exams?
Don't hit your brother!
- You didn't say anything about kicking.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
- Dictionary mouth.
Frank, can you say something?!
- What? Something.
Well you did ask, Mum.
Don't you get smart, Max.
- Too late.
You will transform
this woman into a vampire.
But, Dracula, you are.
Why not simply bite her yourself?
If I bite her,
she will lose her soul.
And her soul is exquisite.
Difficult spell this is,
on humans.
Will only work
if the person is unhappy.
Wow, a red carpet.
This really looks like
my kind of party.
- There you are.
- Hi.
We're here for the party.
- Yeah, I know, dear. Follow me.
This way
- Okay.
I have them.
- Wow...
...we're really getting the VIP treatment.
Good job, Mum.
- Didn't I tell you it would be fun?
Let's rock.
And where exactly is here?
What sort of party is this?
Oh, and why are we on a stage?
Why are we the only ones
wearing costumes?
They think we're the band.
Okay, then, we can do this.
Silent night, Holy night,
All is...
I have a feeling that Emma is
very, very unhappy.
Then enchant her, I can.
And fix this before you go.
Hm? Ach.
I need a holiday.
Well that was less than ideal.
- Why don't you talk like a regular person?
Can't you just be nice to
your brother?
It's the last thing
I feel like doing.
I'm sorry.
- That was totally humiliating,
and it's all your fault.
- It was an accident.
No-one wanted to come on your
stupid family outing.
Well I wanted to study.
You are so ungrateful.
Hey, come on,
don't shout at the kids.
Finally, he wakes up!
Can you to drive us home
before you fall asleep again?
Yeah. I'm just working so hard.
- And I'm not?!
Well, I wouldn't exactly call
making these costumes 'hard work'.
I hate that my daughter
does nothing but insult me.
And I hate that my kids
are always fighting.
And I hate that my husband
just sleeps through it all.
Work it will, my transformation spell.
So very unhappy, you are.
Perceptive, you are.
Help, Baba Yaga will.
Really? How?
- By cursing you.
What? Sorry?
By fire, by light,
by all things bright.
Yeah. Now, dear, don't
you have a cat somewhere...
...that needs feeding?
Or something?
Great, now it's gonna be raining.
By day, by night...
I really think we're witnessing
actual magic.
That's impossible.
- Do you have another explanation?
Not really.
You will be transformed tonight!
Why won't they come off?
Hold on, I'll help you.
Get off!
Not the nicest way to treat
your brother.
I'm hairy.
All over.
Oh, that's dad.
What have you done
to my family?
Opala. Actually, I only wanted
to transform you.
If everyone is transformed,
then everyone must be unhappy.
I'm transformed?
- See for yourself.
I'm an ugly old witch!
No, that's me.
You've now become
a reflectionless vampire.
I'm a, I'm a vampire?
Disappear, pronto!
Where did she go?
Some time, this might take.
Come back here.
Disappear, pronto!
Curse it.
Amulet not fully charged.
Okay, Emma, last year
you went to the gym...
Wow, it really paid off.
I'm coming,
you old witch!
Baba Yaga, you won't catch.
Oh, really? How do you know?
In tea leaves,
I have read.
Must have been a typo.
He-he, capture yourself, you have.
Just practising for when
I catch you.
Out of way!
Move, stupid birds!
Watch your step!
Who leaves their laundry out this late?
Disappear, pronto!
We really need to talk flossing.
Get back here!
Disappear, pronto!
Disappear, pronto!
Unhappy woman
not giving up.
So how's that disappearing spell
working for you?
Big, big power needed
for big, big magic.
Amulet must recharge at place
of great spiritual energy.
Oh, great. We'll come with you and
you can transform us back.
Sorry, sweetie.
Alone I travel Oculus Londra
Ocula what?
Oculus Londra.
Not only is this not my day... is also not my night.
Not Londra, this is.
Never working,
this piece of rubbish.
Useless, you are.
Still long way to travel.
Where are the kids?
- Uffta.
Frank, you still know who I am,
don't you?
No, I'm Emma.
- Yes. Your wife.
Good to see that something
hasn't changed.
I think I might be in with a
real chance here. Mustn't blow it.
Go and pack my things...
...I'm going to meet my future bride.
Very funny.
He passes Kobe Bryant...
...leaves LeBron James in the dust.
And he scores! Yeah!
Don't eat me.
I've just had chilli
I'll go right through you.
Help me!
Not so nice being scared, is it?
You, you can speak?
Nothing gets past you, genius.
No. No, my trousers...
It's me, Fay.
- Flamm?
That costume really isn't the look
we're going for... the music video.
- It's not a costume.
I'm a mummy.
Some crazy witch has cursed
my whole family.
Okay, someone's had way too
much Halloween candy.
Here, touch me.
See for yourself.
Wow, that's so...
You're so... mouldy.
You've got to help me.
You know I would but
I've got like a ton of homework.
You think I'm disgusting,
don't you?
No. You're great.
You're the best looking decaying corpse
I've ever seen.
Yeah, well, you're not
so hot either.
Are you here?
Careful. Watch, watch your...
- Moobid ming.
You really don't wanna break that,
it was a present from your mother.
I always thought it was ugly anyway.
Mum? Dad? Is that you?
Oh, Max.
Okay, that's new.
Fay, are you okay...
Don't you dare "sweetie" me.
This is all your fault!
- What?
If you hadn't made us wear these stupid
costumes, we wouldn't be in this mess.
Look, we're gonna find the witch...
...and I'll make her change us back.
I promise.
And how are you gonna do that?
Look her up online?
She said she was going to somewhere
called Oculus Londra.
Ocula whatnow?
- Yes, that's just what I said.
Oculus Londra means
London Eye.
That's a big Ferris Wheel in London.
So the witch wants to go
on a Ferris Wheel?
I've read at school that the London Eye is
built on an ancient magical site.
The witch must be going there to
recharge her powers.
So we're going to London?
Oh, this is no way Londra.
Disappear, pronto!
That is some serious
spiritual reshaping.
Tell me about it.
I just coughed up
a fur ball.
Thanks for taking us to the airport, Cheyenne.
- No problem.
Life is a journey and I like
to travel in style.
I'm really glad
dogs are colour blind.
Five, four, three...
This is not Londra.
Disappear, pronto!
Fay, we will find the witch,
I promise
It's not just that.
Finally a boy thought
I was pretty and now...
...he can't even look at me.
- Beauty doesn't last.
It doesn't matter what anyone
else thinks, Fay.
You have to know yourself
how special you are.
You don't need other people
to tell you.
I remember feeling like that.
Never mind.
I'm gonna get you there.
Here we go!
Mind out!
Off we go.
- No, stop.
What are you doing?
- You can't go out there.
It's daylight.
- So? - You're a vampire.
You'll burn up.
- But I've got to get on that plane.
Well, there are legends
that say vampires with souls...
...might be able to survive
contact with the sun.
Well, great. Let's go.
But they're only legends.
Who knows if they're true?
Well, I guess there's only
one way to find out.
No, Mum, don't!
Well, I guess that answers
that question.
Thank you, magnificent sun, for not
burning my dear friend to a crisp.
Mum? What if I said I might
not want to be changed back?
I like people being scared of me.
- Oh, darling, I know what you mean.
Are you nuts? I look like a 3,000 year
old meatloaf and dad is a...
...gigantic farting idiot!
Okay, that's not so new.
- Fay!
I'm just saying, if you two
back out now...'s totally unfair!
Nobody is backing out.
Max, right now you think it's great that
people are scared of you.
But scary people are lonely because
nobody wants to be around them.
Which fortune cookie did you read that in?
- Quiet, Fay.
Everyone act naturally.
How can I... of assistance?
- Go on.
Five tickets to London, please.
Actually, that's four people
and a dog.
He travels everywhere with us.
This little one is part of the family.
Isn't that right, Buster?
Of course.
And why is Mr Wishbone two feet
taller than stated here?
Growth hormones. In the meat.
Don't you watch the news?
- And what's going on...
...with your daughter?
Acne. Puberty, you know.
Very severe case.
And what about you?
- Me? Oh, yes,
I've been performing in
"Dracula, the Musical" in London.
I thought I'd get into costume now
and save time.
Very impressive.
The dog will definitely have to travel... the hold with the luggage.
Do you have a cage for it?
Mum, I don't want to
travel with the luggage.
Don't worry, Max.
I mean Buster.
That was me.
I'm a ventriloquist.
Hello there, madam,
I'm a dog. Give me a biscuit, please.
If you could just bear with me
for one second.
Security, we've got
a bit of a problem.
I can't look like this
for the rest of my life.
We have to get to London,
find the witch... that she can make us
human again.
You have to let us on that plane.
You have to.
No problem. And I'll upgrade you
to First Class.
Here you go, your tickets.
- Thank you.
Let's go, Frank.
Have a good flight.
Didn't I tell you that
everything would be fine?
I have no idea what just happened
- You can hypnotise people.
It's just like in. 'The Curse Of The Mummy'.
- Really?
I need a bigger allowance.
Don't even think about it,
young lady.
I would try that with dad.
Look, girls...
...that's what happens when
you over-exfoliate.
You are all big stupid monkeys.
And she has got a banana.
Mum, if I have to look like this... least let me have some fun.
Chocolate for everyone!
Fay, stop this immediately.
Come on, Mum, this is much better
than an in-flight movie.
What's wrong?
- I'm just...
...I'm just so hungry.
So eat this.
- No.
How about tomato juice?
Okay. Who are you
and what's going on?
Does the name...
..."The Prince Of Darkness"...
...ring any bells?
I, well...
I am Dracula.
How did you get on this plane?
I could not wait to meet you,
my thorny rose.
And now, my dear,
to the matter in hand.
Well, in your hands,
Drinking the blood of humans
is such a messy affair...
...and considered quite common
these days.
Not to mention the matter of
disposing of the leftovers.
- Come with me.
Come with you?
- To where you belong.
To my castle.
- But... but I, I...
I can't leave my
family behind.
Would you rather stay and drain these
people of their life-force... order to quench your
insatiable thirst?
I'll come with you.
- I hoped you might.
This place is not being Londra either.
Disappear, pronto!
Forgive the mask, I'm not overly
fond of the sun.
I know, how about
a parachute?
are for wimps.
Just out of interest,
where are we flying?
Towards our future together.
Call me pampered but...
...I like to travel in style.
She was right here.
- Where's she gone?
Hey, give me that.
Come on. Jump.
You can do it if you try.
That's gonna be handy.
A little jest.
Only I can do that.
This is a bit sudden, don't you think?
Your lunch.
What on earth is this?
I want blood, not a pill.
Trust me, Emma.
- But how can I trust you? You're Dracula.
That's why only I know what you need.
Yes, it's an acquired taste.
It's working.
I'm changing back.
Why are you helping me?
You're the first person
in a thousand years...
...who has lifted my melancholy.
- That's so sad.
No, because you have
been worth the wait.
Finally there's someone who can
understand me and share my life.
A vampire wife.
Wait, did you send that
witch after us?
Witch? No, I don't know any witches.
Do they even really exist?
I want to get back
to my family.
Do they really make you happy?
Well... sometimes.
"Sometimes" is nowhere near enough
for you, my darling.
You deserve to be happy "always".
I will devote myself to...
...showing you a life beyond
your wildest dreams.
Our home would be
my castle.
But we will travel... the most romantic places.
I will give you this world...
...and worlds beyond.
It could be wonderful.
Can your husband offer you anything
like that?
We did play Scrabble on a Tuesday night
last May for no particular reason.
Then what are you waiting for,
my love? Follow your heart to me.
Oh. I...
...I have to get back to my family.
You would choose
to be unhappy?
No. But when you're a mother,
you have to take the good with the bad.
Well if you're that sure,
don't let me keep you.
You could have just called me a cab!
If mum doesn't show up here...
- ...we might never see her again.
Emma will be fine, guys.
Tai chi with me. I call this one...
'Chicken Flies Into The Soup'
I really need to practise that.
You're back!
- We thought we'd never see you again.
I'm fine. It's okay.
Memma. Memma. Memma.
Gently, gently, gently.
So what's with the disappearing act?
Did you ever think of
calling your family?
Yes, we were really worried.
Where have you been?
It wasn't that easy.
Dracula has a way...
...of hypnotising you.
- Dracula, the vampire?
No, Dracula, the hair stylist.
So, is he handsome?
Like in the films?
He's kind of looking for love.
Prepare Operation Ice Age.
If I can't have love,
then no-one can.
I will eliminate all
life on Earth.
Oh and tell Baba Yaga...
...I have something
particularly nasty planned for her...
...if she doesn't destroy
this 'happy family'...
This not Londra.
Disappear, pronto!
Mig Men.
Big Ben.
Mig Men.
It's the witch.
Oculus wrong again.
- Get her!
This is Londra.
There's no way I'm jumping
in after her.
Of course not,
Oh, could you please stop arguing
just for once.
Oh, no, not this
crazy magic again.
What is she doing?
Is she going to change us back?
It's about time.
Let's go.
Change us back
so we can fly home.
No, do I will not.
Fully charged, my amulet is.
Now finish my task,
I can.
So Baba Yaga free can be,
at last.
Stay here,
you little piece of...
Enough, messed up my work,
you have.
By air, by sky.
Now you will fly... Egypt!
Curse it again, all of them I've hit.
- No...,
...not all of them.
So who thinks the evil witch
just tricked us?
That would probably explain why
we're now in Egypt.
This is not a problem.
We are getting out of this desert and
finding that witch.
And how do you think
we should do that?
I haven't worked that out yet
but, come on...
...we're a family.
We can do anything.
Follow me! We're getting out
of this desert.
Bring back my friend.
- Never.
You run fast
for an old crone.
Disappear, pronto!
Not cool.
My amulet.
Got it!
Hold on.
Take my hand!
- Trust you, why should I?
Because I'm one of
the good guys.
Imprison me, Dracula did,
for a thousand years.
The more I hear about that guy,
the less I like him.
And then freedom,
he promised me,
if I did his evil bidding.
- So now...
...will you turn the
Wishbones back?
Do that, only they
themselves can.
Really? But how?
Only when happy they are...
...human they
will become again.
Well, I guess they'd
better get used... being monsters.
The fate of the world...
...rests in my hand.
The innocent snowflake...
...engineered into
a deadly weapon.
Behold what this tiny flake...
...alone can achieve.
Now imagine billions
of these flakes...
...pressed together into
an icy sphere.
With that I will destroy
the Sun itself.
And the Earth will be plunged
into a deadly ice age.
Mummy! I found footprints.
Well, we just have to follow them
and we're saved.
- Uffta.
- Uffta.
- Yes?
- These are our own footprints.
- Everything will be okay.
How? Look around.
We're in a giant,
enormous sandpit!
You're making it sound
as if this is my fault.
Well, you are the one who gave the
amulet back to the evil witch.
Everything always has to be your way...
...and we just have to deal with it.
You don't actually think I'm good
at anything, do you?
No. Well you're great at making us look
hideous and completely monstrous.
You know how to ruin our lives
better than anyone.
And I'm gonna be smelly
and ugly for ever!
Why can't I have a daughter
who is nice...
...who doesn't beat up her brother
who doesn't flunk school...
...and who doesn't make me feel
like an actual monster?!
I'm so very sorry, sweetie.
Then maybe you should find another daughter.
- Fay. Come back!
I'm counting to three.
One, two...
I don't think she's coming back.
Max, I'm sorry, but that really
doesn't help at all.
Oh, great. Fay's not here
so you're yelling at me.
I'm through with this family.
I'm a lone wolf now.
Max, I'm counting to three.
Why is it whenever I need
you most, you stand there and...
...don't say a word?!
- Uffta?
Well it's too late to start now.
- Uffta?
I can't deal with this any more!
Just go away! Move!
We're better off apart.
Emma has left her family.
I might have just been given
a second chance.
I'm going to fly
back to my Emma!
pause Operation Ice Age.
Oh, I'm so hungry.
I need blood.
Dinner time.
And just when you think things
can't get any weirder...
You are trespassing in my desert. meet a talking whirlwind.
Nobody enters my...
Welcome to Egypt...
...beautiful creature.
Here it's hot.
Finally some shade.
Cut it out.
I don't need a haircut.
No-one messes
with Weremax!
Whose great idea was it
to have a..., photo shoot
in the desert?
I say.
Come a little closer, honey
Come to me
you surely startled us.
What are you doing out
here all alone?
Are you alright, dear?
You look a little pale.
And you look delicious.
My darling needs me and
here I am.
May I?
Oh, my, what a man.
Come a little closer, honey
Come to me
am Pharaoh Imhotep.
You're Johnny Depp?
- Im-ho-tep!
Oh, okay, great and sandy one.
You are very beautiful.
Me? - I have lived
for more than 3,000 years...
...and in all that time I have
met no-one as beautiful as you.
Come, let me show you
the true power of the mummy.
You, too, can do this.
You simply have to wish it.
So nice.
- Uffta!
Welcome home.
Wow. Are you sure
you've got enough room?
Would you give me
the honour...?
Hold tight!
Stay with me, Emma
and make me the happiest...
...immortal plasma-dependent
fiend on Earth.
Hey, anything on four legs
stays on a lead!
Who's on four legs?
It's okay,
I won't hurt you.
Scary people are lonely because
nobody wants to be around them.
Wow, this is amazing!
Welcome to my home.
For thousands of years...
...I have waited for a woman
like you.
One who is special.
One whose beauty shines brighter...
...than the sun.
One with whom I can...
conquer the world.
Er, conquer the world?
I'm a lazy boy
I watch the sun shine
Lighting up
the peerless peaceful sea
I'll take it from here, girls.
You're certainly taking your time
to decide, my love.
That's going to hurt
in the morning.
So, darling,
will you be mine?
They're better off without me.
I accept.
Then I am more happy than
any man living or dead
...has reason to be. Renfield!
Show my fiance to her chamber.
And prepare my Lazarus bath.
I think I'm starting to
sag a little.
Now that we have finally
found each other...
...we have the immense power
to rule the world like gods.
No-one will disobey
our commands.
And all will worship your divine,
immeasurable beauty.
I don't think so.
Do not contradict me.
Will if I want to. No way you can force me.
- Oh, yes, I can.
Oh, you sound exactly
like my mother.
You still have much to learn.
Education is not really
my thing. So bye.
This is mine?
Renfield is such a chatterbox.
What a mattress!
Why was I always so strict?
I'm a lazy boy
I watch the sun shine
Lighting up
the peerless peaceful sea
I think you might need
a little mirror time.
I, I, I can't...
...I can't
be seen like...
Beauty doesn't last.
Now that I've found you,
I will not let you go.
I'm not going to let you take
over the world.
You must come with me.
Who else will accept you...
...looking like you do?
It doesn't matter what anyone
else thinks, Fay.
It doesn't matter what
I look like.
It matters
who I am inside.
If you will not come
with me willingly...
...I will force you.
Leave my sister alone.
Thanks for trying to save me.
That was really brave.
You're welcome. And we really need to
talk about your choice of boyfriend.
Uffta. Mash.
Okay, he is way scarier
than I am.
Mash! Immommebb.
You know I only have cucumbers
in my bath!
Although drowned bats are
a welcome addition.
Be cool.
She's on our side.
- What?
True, it is.
- I've fallen for your lies far too many times.
We can trust her. She brought
me here to you, didn't she?
that's true.
Dracula forced her to put
the spell on you.
She was his prisoner.
- Dracula did that?
Monster he is, who will stop at
nothing to get what he desires.
I guess I didn't want to see
who he really was.
Now I may never see
my family again.
It's alright.
For you, change that I could.
Who knew dad had it in him?
I guess he just
needed a holiday?
Oh, I missed you so much.
Are you okay?
Yes. Thanks to dad.
You should have seen him
fight the giant beetle.
You fought a monster?
And won.
What are we doing here?
- And what... she doing here?
- Here to help, I am.
She brought us
all together.
Emma... mustn't
leave this castle.
So he can speak.
- Yeah.
If you don't...
...marry my master,
he will destroy the world.
- Talk about over-reacting.
He plans to shoot a giant
ice sphere into the sun and then...
...the sun
will be extinguished...
...and all life on Earth
will come to an end.
Except for vampires.
Who don't need sunlight.
So in order to save
all life on Earth...
...I have to marry Dracula?
No. We'll stop him.
- But how?
My master is currently
in his Lazarus bath.
He needs it to stop
himself from aging.
Good to know but we're trying
to save the planet here.
You misunderstand.
In the bath he's helpless.
But he's only inside
until sunset.
Okay, we've got no plan
and no time.
Wait. Does this castle
have a kitchen?
Only the best
in the catalogue.
Okay. We need salt,
olive oil and water.
We're making Dracula pasta?
- With salt, olive oil and sacred balm...
holy water, you make!
- Major anti-vampire mojo.
Holy water will beat Dracula?
- For sure.
Once he's beaten,
we'll lock him up forever.
Salt and oil.
And water.
- Er, Max.
Where will we find sacred
balm in a kitchen?
I don't think it's gonna
be in the spice rack.
It's been here
all the time.
Your bandages are steeped
in a sacred embalming fluid.
Okay. Sometimes being smart... extremely cool.
It's amazing what people will do
to knock off just a few years.
I'm gonna jump on the tank and
I'll pour in the holy water.
Awake, the Dark One is.
Emma, why would you stay
with your wretched family...
...when we can achieve
greatness together?
Oh, no, I sense you
brought holy water.
Wow, how can he smell
through that thing?
Your heart is so dark,
no-one could love you.
Do be careful. It's very steep.
- Ouch!
- Told you.
This is from the Wishbones!
For every antidote there
is an antiantidote.
Bon apptit.
And welcome back.
I'm hungry!
I'm sure your mother's love for you
is bigger than her appetite.
Memma. Mon't.
Now bite him and we shall live
together for all eternity.
You are mine.
You are a vampire.
Fulfil your destiny.
...Immove... you.
What are you doing?
Yes, Emma. Do it!
Do it now!
The greatest magic,
love is.
Why does this always happen to me?
You leave my mum alone.
Ah, so much for romance.
Humans, why must you
always be so... human?
Is everyone okay?
I'm so glad you're awake.
What I have in store for you is...
...much more enjoyable
if you're conscious.
The ice sphere is expanding.
And soon we'll be
ready for launch.
So I'm afraid it's
going to get very cramped...
...and very, very
cold in here.
Let my family go and
I will stay with you.
It's too late,
I'm afraid...
...Emma. You chose
your family over me.
And now I choose
to destroy you.
Just look at it as a
particularly bad break up.
You and my traitorous servant
are about to discover what happens...
...when you betray
the Prince of Darkness.
I've made a huge mistake and
I got us into this.
You were right, Fay.
I'm really good
at messing up.
No, Mum, you were right.
- I was?
It doesn't matter if people look at
me and see an ugly mummy.
I know who I am under
all these bandages.
And it's not that much
fun being scary.
It's actually kind of lonely.
- I'm sorry...
...I said all those
awful things.
I wouldn't want any other family.
- Frank...
...mmove... family.
I mmove you, too.
Room for one more?
You broke the spell!
You're finally happy.
Come on, we have
to stop Dracula.
We've just got this little
problem with the chains.
I don't.
And so you're going
to step up and single-handedly...
...conquer the
Prince of Darkness...
...and take us all home.
- What?
You're the only one
who's not chained up.
Wishbones, let's save the world then.
The sun is
about to rise...
...for the last time, because
very soon, my little friend...
...your big brother will be
sent to destroy it!
Not you again.
What are you doing here?
You are meant to be frozen.
In your dreams.
The Wishbones never give up.
Such confidence.
Do tell me, my dear... do you plan to defeat
a being who can freeze you at will?
Vile deceivers!
I guess you're not
so powerful now.
I can still press a button.
Not so fast, you creep!
Take that, and that,
and that, that and...
Enough of this.
What's he doing?
Mrap. I mean crap!
Pathetic creatures.
Look at you.
Hideous. Weak. Timid.
But we are a family.
Something that you will never have.
And neither will you.
What now?
I beat a beetle.
- And won!
I think I can
deal with that.
Okay, let's settle
this man to bat.
The sun.
Did you really think
you could defeat me?
The Prince of Darkness.
The Scourge of Transylvania.
Say goodbye to your...
Pitiful mortals.
You cannot... defeat...
Huh, Dracula.
As I've always said
it's good to do things
together as a family.
More work for you, Wishbone.
No can do.
I'm going home.
I can fire you, you know.
You should think of your family.
That's exactly what I'm doing.
Wishbone! Wishbone!
It might seem crazy what
I'm about to say
Sunshine she's here,
you can take a break
Because I'm happy
Clap along if you feel
like a room without a roof
Because I'm happy
Clap along if you feel
like happiness is the truth
Because I'm happy
Clap along if you know
what happiness is to you
Because I'm happy
Clap along if you feel
like that's what you wanna do
Here comes bad news
talking this and that, yeah
Well, give me all you got,
and don't hold it back
- Yeah!
Only you
can make me happy
Only you
can make me happy
So happy
Only you
can make me happy