Monster X (2017) Movie Script
1
Do you think it's
gonna sell out?
What?
Fright Fest.
Well, which movie
looked best to you?
Uhm, I don't know.
Well, there Kamarimanku.
There's Camp Blood.
Full Moon Silver Bullet.
Or Bride of the Living Dead.
The horror movie.
Two, please.
Fright Fest!
Alright, so you have to
have an opinion on this.
Fast zombies or slow zombies?
I don't know, fast?
No, fast zombies are
a total abomination.
You lose all nuance.
If you think about it, zombies
are the total metaphor for...
So we're locked
in here all night?
Yeah, if you can handle it.
Greetings my bloody talon.
Welcome to Fright Fest.
I have hand picked
four tremulous tales
to invade your
cinemaplex tonight.
These four distinct
tastes of terror
will run throughout the night.
If the first taste isn't enough,
go back for seconds,
thirds, fourths.
This is a buffet of blood.
Gorge yourself on gore!
But, it's not for
the faint of heart.
At any point you find
the horrors too much,
you'll find a chicken exit
located just left of the screen.
Darach?
Darach?
Christ, Sarah, what?
I heard something downstairs.
Chicken exit, really?
I have never taken
the chicken exit.
Wow, you must be so proud.
Go back to sleep, it's the rock.
No, Darach.
Darach!
Please, go back to sleep.
I have a massive headache.
Turn off the bloody light.
Darach?
Sarah?
I'm inspector O'Connor.
Yes?
I was hoping to ask
Sarah some questions.
She already explained everything
to the other police officers.
Yes.
Sarah, I was told that you
heard someone in the room
with your husband
before you found him.
A scream?
It was a woman, wailing.
Like a, something like nails
on a chalkboard or something.
This noise,
it came from the bedroom?
Yeah.
Did you see this woman?
She wasn't in there.
Did you see anyone entering
or leaving the house?
No.
You think I'm crazy.
I believe you heard something,
but events like this
can cloud your mind.
These bottles, they
from last night?
Yeah, that's enough,
leave us, please.
She needs to rest.
Look, I'll call you if we
find out anything unusual
about your husband's death,
and we'll get that comb
you found analyzed.
If you think of
anything, call me.
Hey, I made you some tea,
and cleaned a little.
Did you get rest last night?
A bit.
Good.
Sarah, why don't you come
and stay with us for a while?
I think being amongst people
in the city will do you good.
Thanks, but I think
I need some time alone.
Okay.
You know, last
night I kept thinking
about something that
happened a few days ago.
Darach came back from the walking
the fields a few days ago,
and he was...
Drunk out of his
mind, but terrified.
He said he saw a
woman there screaming,
then she disappeared.
And that it was some ghost
that haunts his family
or something...
Banshee.
You know it?
It's a story my mom
told me as a child.
Well, what is it?
It's a kid's story.
Tell me.
Well...
There's this legend about
a woman called a banshee,
who would haunt some
of the Irish families.
And she would wait
forever in the field
for her husband to
return from the sea.
Well, according to the legend,
people who would hear her wail,
would have a family
member die that night.
And people who saw her
would die themselves.
Darach would have
seen this banshee.
No, Sarah, it's a ghost story.
There's no such
thing as a banshee.
Well, then what do
you think what I heard?
You said you heard a rumble.
And a scream!
It could have been Darach.
He had a heart attack.
He was only 29.
And an alcoholic.
Out.
Look, Sarah...
Please leave.
This is where you saw her?
Right there.
Did you get a good look at her?
She was quite far away,
but she had a white dress
covered in blood and long hair.
She just disappeared?
I know how it sounds, but
you should know what I saw.
Sarah, I wanna
believe you, but...
You know about the banshee?
Yes.
When I got the call
about your husband,
about the scream you heard,
I've heard about that before.
Long time ago.
When I was a boy, my
father claimed our family
was one of the Irish
families cursed
by a pagan witch, the banshee.
My father said he heard the wail
the night before my
uncle passed away.
I thought he was mad.
And uh...
Do you believe me?
I don't know what I believe.
We'll do some research
into the banshee.
It's all I can promise for now.
Thanks.
And did you find
anything on the comb?
Nothing.
Sarah, are you alright?
Yeah, just some sleep.
Sarah?
It's Inspector O'Connor.
I think the
banshee's in the house.
What?
I'm on my way, listen.
I did some research on the
banshee, you need to hear this.
Apparently, the legend
is based on a woman
who lived in the 1600s, who
was nicknamed the Banshee.
She sacrificed her
husband in some ritual
and claimed he went off to sea.
What happened to her?
The villagers
found her blood stained dress.
She was burned at
the stake as a witch.
The villagers believed
she imprinted her evil
in her silver comb.
Sarah, there's more.
It's not what you think.
Sarah?
Sarah?
Sarah, what's going on?
Sarah?
Sarah?
She's gone.
Sarah, are you alright?
She's gone.
I defeated her, I
burned her comb.
Sarah, what comb?
Comb.
I wanted to tell
you on the phone.
The story about the
witch, the banshee...
They're not real.
I saw her in the house.
- Sarah...
- She...
It's a delusion.
She's not real?
These stories about
fairies and witches,
they're just inspiration
for your mind.
People have been telling stories
about the banshee
since the 1600s.
But it's all in your mind.
I don't understand.
Sarah, you're not well.
The banshee is a
warning from your body.
Come on, let me make
you a cup of tea.
No, I think that
I need some rest.
This sucks, I'm leaving!
Really?
Right at the good part, too.
Shit!
Come on, Frankie, get
it together, Jesus.
Hey, you alright?
Yup, I'm fine.
What happened, you get spooked?
I mean, you could have left.
Remember the whole chicken exit?
You're my ride.
I'm fine, what's next?
Full Moon just
started in theater five?
Perfect!
Alright.
You guys are
always at the same night.
What, alright!
Two for two,
okay, here you go, thank you.
One, please.
Hi Sir, one,
alright, there you go.
Alright all the way to the left.
Hey sir, how can I help you?
There you go.
Use the door right down there.
Hi, what can I do for you...
One, please.
One, gotcha,
there you go, enjoy your show.
One, please.
Sorry kid, it's a private
screening, invitation only.
I have a note from my dad.
Cute kid, but I
can't let you in.
Come back tomorrow for
the screening of frozen.
The horror movie
on the ski slope?
No.
Enjoy the show!
For you, Sir?
I'd like a rack of
ribs and some chicken.
Okay, we just ran out of ribs,
but I can bring that chicken
out to you in about a minute.
And for you, Sir?
Skittles.
There's a back door over here.
Come on, Brandy, you really
wanna see a crappy movie?
You're both chickenshits.
I'm missing Vampire Diaries.
Here it is!
Shouldn't you be minding
the concession stand?
We just ran out of meat!
Did you check the freezer?
Of course, I did!
We're out, I'm telling
you, it's gone!
10 minutes to sundown.
I know, and I'm starving!
I told you to eat
before you got here!
I've got a litter to feed!
Ah!
What?
Ah, just that looks amazing!
See ya, losers!
And let's lock her up.
Hey, let us in!
Later losers!
You suck and I
hope you get caught!
Dad will get her out
of trouble, he always does.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome!
Welcome to oh, hey, hey, hey!
We're thrilled to
have you with us!
Before us the famous
cult classic film,
Foaming at the Mouth Part Two.
Also on behalf of
myself and my staff,
I would like to apologize
for the shortage of food;
however, we are
working diligently
to get the problem resolved.
In the meantime,
the uncontrollable urge
to tear, claw or gnaw,
please feel free to ask one
of my lovely ushers
for a muzzle.
We want meat!
Okay, Sir, Sir,
we're doing everything
we can to accommodate you.
Bullshit!
Yeah, let's get
those lights down.
Enjoy your movie.
Get outta here!
Get away from me,
please get away from me!
Please help me!
Going somewhere, little girl?
I remember you.
Give her to me.
Now to be fair we'll
have to raffle her off.
Everyone check
their ticket stubs
and let's get some numbers!
Think she's got
enough meat on her
for the four lucky winners!
Don't worry, it won't hurt bad.
What's your name?
Brianne.
Oh, Brianne, you
picked the wrong night
to sneak into the
theater, Brianne.
Hey Amanda, let's
get the numbers.
Amanda, snap out of it.
Winner!
Winner!
Two more!
Oh, me, me, me, us, us!
Winner!
A little young there for a
tattoo, aren't you kiddo?
Winner!
What's the matter, little girl?
It's not gonna be that bad?
They'll kill you real
fast, we promise.
Why didn't you just let me in?
I had a note from my dad.
Oh, that's right,
a note from your dad.
How could I forget?
Please allow my
daughter, Brianne,
to see the movie Foaming
at the Mouth Two.
If you don't let her,
you'll regret it.
Hey pal, what'd we miss?
Just the standards,
full moons, owls
and a guy with a monstrous
secret.
Awesome.
Hey buddy, you okay?
I think we should go.
Run!
- Shit!
- Seriously?
It's literally locked.
Oh, my God!
We gotta hide!
Stop that!
Stop what?
What you're doing.
Oh, you mean, this?
What time is it?
4:30.
I have to leave pretty soon.
Sun comes up at 6:30.
My wife's plane doesn't
get here til 5:30.
I'm not worried about your wife.
What does she do again?
She works for the Ciph Room.
Sounds boring.
Yeah, it is, she's
always taking trips,
leaving me here to
take care of the kids.
You don't have kids.
It's what I call the dogs.
Divorce her.
I can't.
Can't?
Not yet anyway.
It's too much money involved.
You don't need money
anymore, my dear.
No fucking way!
Quick, get in the closet!
Oh, come on!
Do it!
Everything alright?
Yeah, you're home early.
Yeah, I took an earlier flight,
thought I'd surprise you.
Well, you did.
Good.
What time did you go to bed?
Oh, about 12:30.
Really?
It's pretty early.
Who's in the closet?
What?
Do you think I'm stupid, Ronald?
Calm down sweetie, okay?
I will.
Just let me check
one more thing first.
Jesus Christ!
Hah, how about that?
You're crazy.
Well, I have two bullets left.
I can use one on you
and one on myself.
No, I'll just use both on you.
No wait!
God, you're heavy.
I gotta hand it to you, Ronald.
You had me fooled
for at least a month.
How long did you think
it would take me?
Out every night, nowhere
to be seen during the day.
I called your work last week.
They said you just
stopped showing up.
Schmuck.
I guess this means you
won't have to divorce me.
No pre-nup, either.
Well, now that you're
dead, I can be honest.
I never took that
trip to Atlanta.
I just waited for you and
that whore in the back
to make it to our bed.
Well, my bed actually.
I'm the one who paid for it.
Where'd you find
the bimbo, anyway?
I followed her around, but
couldn't find where she lived.
Probably homeless.
Way to aim high, Ron.
I spent the last 10
years defending you.
Do you even know
what I went through?
My father kept telling
me, don't marry that man,
he'll only hurt you.
But did I listen?
No.
I just kept telling everyone,
you don't know the real Ron.
Oh, it's just so disgusting.
I hate you, Ronald.
I hate everything about you.
I'm glad that you're dead.
Time to dump the garbage.
Remember this spot, Ron?
We used to stay up all night
and watch the sun come up.
Hmm.
Wow, S&M, charming.
What the hell?
Huh, that's what I thought.
Oh, shit.
Ronald!
Ronald, where are you, honey?
What the fuck is this?
Elaine!
I'm sorry about what I said.
I don't hate you!
I'm just uh, disappointed.
Yeah, that's it, I'm just...
Disappointed and hurt?
Elaine.
Sweety.
Alright, alright,
you wanna divorce?
I'll give you a divorce.
Ron, dear?
Shit.
Hah, spare!
I'll miss
watching the sun come up.
You'll get used to it.
Did you finish, Elaine?
Actually, I had a better idea.
She'll turn just before sunrise.
Figured she'd like
to see it again.
Just for old time's sake.
Payback for putting
four bullet holes in me.
Goodbye, dear.
You know, it never really
was about the money.
It was about spending
the rest of my life
with someone as lifeless as you.
Hurry up, we
have less than 30 minutes!
You were great back there.
Thanks, sweety.
So were you.
Ma'am, you okay?
Cutting it pretty close.
Drive faster.
This is as fast as this
piece of shit goes, sweety.
What the hell are you doing?
I don't know.
It must have got a
flat or something.
Shit, keep driving.
If I keep driving, it's
gonna make things worse.
There's a spare in the back.
What's taking so long?
I thought I saw something.
Open the door!
- Shit!
- What?
It's in Elaine's purse
at the bottom of the river!
What about the house keys?
Well, she had them.
Shit!
Don't you know the combination?
It's not working!
It's been changed!
Elaine, open the door!
Who's lifeless now, schmuck?
So we just
stay in here all night?
I don't know, I just,
I need some time to think.
Okay.
So do you do this for
all of your first dates,
or am I special?
What take them to horror movies?
No, save them from werewolves
and J-horror cliches.
What?
You like me.
Do not.
It's okay, I'm pretty cool.
Yeah, you're okay, when
you're not being a diva.
Excuse me?
You know what, all my
attention's on you now.
So don't screw this up,
lover boy, pressure's on.
Did you hear that?
Yeah, hang on.
Jesus Christ, it's
Michael Martin.
Michael Martin was in
Slumber Party Slaying.
The killer in Camp
Blood is Norman Ferris.
I think I love you.
I know.
Finch, Finch!
Norman Ferris, no defense.
Finch!
Is that supposed to work?
Man, I don't know, he
drowned in the movie!
God, you're such a geek!
No, I'm not!
So Jack,
you said your parents left
just before I got here?
They do that a lot, huh?
Just leave you here alone in
this big old house by yourself?
I'm not alone.
You're just like all
the other sitters.
No one ever believes me.
Hey, hey, take it easy.
I believe you, it's just
a little unusual, is all.
It's cool.
It's just I don't normally
take jobs by text message.
I like to talk to
the parents first.
That way I know
what rules to break.
I don't know about you,
but I like to eat and
watch TV at the same time.
But, but we're not supposed to.
Mom always says that when...
Well, she isn't here, is she?
So it'll be our little secret.
Plus there's a pirates
versus ninjas movie on.
Yay!
You see this,
you pirate bitches?
Uh, somebody save me!
Don't you see it will never end?
Pirate killing ninja,
ninja killing pirate.
It'll never stop.
No, no it won't.
Not unless I kill
every last one of them.
He's just a peasant.
The poor sheath
can hide this steel.
I've got your back, pirate.
What was that?
There's too many of them!
You and Julia get out of here!
Jack!
Hey, Jack!
You guys have a cat
or dog or something,
you forgot to tell me about?
Ninjas and pirates,
it's a new generation.
Then what was that?
I don't know.
Probably the monsters.
The monsters?
The monsters in my room.
You have monsters in your room?
Yeah, I'm sure
that's it, monsters.
Just one more story, please?
Jack, you've had
just one more story
about seven or
eight times already.
It's time for bed, little buddy.
Aw, my other sitters
always read me more stories.
Hey speaking of,
how many other
sitters have you had?
You make it sound like no
one sticks around very long.
Come on, Sarah,
just one more story.
This one's my favorite.
Look, you don't want
to go to bed, I get that.
Is it the dark you're scared of?
I can leave the light on.
No, no, don't let
the light in, okay, promise?
Okay, okay, take it easy.
But think of it this way,
if the light's on, the monsters
are too scared to
come out, alright?
They always come out, always.
Oh.
That little monkey.
Jack!
Jack!
Don't make me come up...
There.
That's weird.
Jack, I thought I told you to...
It wasn't me, it
was the monsters.
And what monsters would that be?
But they, they were...
Jack, there are so
such thing as monsters,
and there will be no
more playing, got it?
It's bed time, buddy.
Now sweet dreams.
No one ever believes me.
That is it, mister!
You are going to be in so
much...
They're real!
The monsters!
I told you.
Jack, I gotta get
you out of here!
Oh, they're not going to get me.
They're trying to
get away from me.
I like them, they're mine.
I won't ever let them leave.
Jack!
It's not them, it's me.
I'm the monster.
The monster you're so scared of.
No!
It can't be!
It's like Dawn of the Dead here.
Kinda yeah, with like
tweaking out zombies.
No, like real 1978
lumbering Romero zombies.
Well, I guess it's time
for the chicken exit.
Do you think we
could push through?
We're gonna have to
before they come fully to.
You're kidding.
That's our only way out.
Okay.
Well, I'm not really sure
how I'm gonna top this
for a second date.
Second date?
Well yeah, I mean,
I kinda wanna take you
out again, if you want to.
I had fun!
And I guess you could say
I saved your ass in there,
so I feel like you owe me.
I owe you?
Okay, one condition, no movies.
Do you hear something?
Do you think it's
gonna sell out?
What?
Fright Fest.
Well, which movie
looked best to you?
Uhm, I don't know.
Well, there Kamarimanku.
There's Camp Blood.
Full Moon Silver Bullet.
Or Bride of the Living Dead.
The horror movie.
Two, please.
Fright Fest!
Alright, so you have to
have an opinion on this.
Fast zombies or slow zombies?
I don't know, fast?
No, fast zombies are
a total abomination.
You lose all nuance.
If you think about it, zombies
are the total metaphor for...
So we're locked
in here all night?
Yeah, if you can handle it.
Greetings my bloody talon.
Welcome to Fright Fest.
I have hand picked
four tremulous tales
to invade your
cinemaplex tonight.
These four distinct
tastes of terror
will run throughout the night.
If the first taste isn't enough,
go back for seconds,
thirds, fourths.
This is a buffet of blood.
Gorge yourself on gore!
But, it's not for
the faint of heart.
At any point you find
the horrors too much,
you'll find a chicken exit
located just left of the screen.
Darach?
Darach?
Christ, Sarah, what?
I heard something downstairs.
Chicken exit, really?
I have never taken
the chicken exit.
Wow, you must be so proud.
Go back to sleep, it's the rock.
No, Darach.
Darach!
Please, go back to sleep.
I have a massive headache.
Turn off the bloody light.
Darach?
Sarah?
I'm inspector O'Connor.
Yes?
I was hoping to ask
Sarah some questions.
She already explained everything
to the other police officers.
Yes.
Sarah, I was told that you
heard someone in the room
with your husband
before you found him.
A scream?
It was a woman, wailing.
Like a, something like nails
on a chalkboard or something.
This noise,
it came from the bedroom?
Yeah.
Did you see this woman?
She wasn't in there.
Did you see anyone entering
or leaving the house?
No.
You think I'm crazy.
I believe you heard something,
but events like this
can cloud your mind.
These bottles, they
from last night?
Yeah, that's enough,
leave us, please.
She needs to rest.
Look, I'll call you if we
find out anything unusual
about your husband's death,
and we'll get that comb
you found analyzed.
If you think of
anything, call me.
Hey, I made you some tea,
and cleaned a little.
Did you get rest last night?
A bit.
Good.
Sarah, why don't you come
and stay with us for a while?
I think being amongst people
in the city will do you good.
Thanks, but I think
I need some time alone.
Okay.
You know, last
night I kept thinking
about something that
happened a few days ago.
Darach came back from the walking
the fields a few days ago,
and he was...
Drunk out of his
mind, but terrified.
He said he saw a
woman there screaming,
then she disappeared.
And that it was some ghost
that haunts his family
or something...
Banshee.
You know it?
It's a story my mom
told me as a child.
Well, what is it?
It's a kid's story.
Tell me.
Well...
There's this legend about
a woman called a banshee,
who would haunt some
of the Irish families.
And she would wait
forever in the field
for her husband to
return from the sea.
Well, according to the legend,
people who would hear her wail,
would have a family
member die that night.
And people who saw her
would die themselves.
Darach would have
seen this banshee.
No, Sarah, it's a ghost story.
There's no such
thing as a banshee.
Well, then what do
you think what I heard?
You said you heard a rumble.
And a scream!
It could have been Darach.
He had a heart attack.
He was only 29.
And an alcoholic.
Out.
Look, Sarah...
Please leave.
This is where you saw her?
Right there.
Did you get a good look at her?
She was quite far away,
but she had a white dress
covered in blood and long hair.
She just disappeared?
I know how it sounds, but
you should know what I saw.
Sarah, I wanna
believe you, but...
You know about the banshee?
Yes.
When I got the call
about your husband,
about the scream you heard,
I've heard about that before.
Long time ago.
When I was a boy, my
father claimed our family
was one of the Irish
families cursed
by a pagan witch, the banshee.
My father said he heard the wail
the night before my
uncle passed away.
I thought he was mad.
And uh...
Do you believe me?
I don't know what I believe.
We'll do some research
into the banshee.
It's all I can promise for now.
Thanks.
And did you find
anything on the comb?
Nothing.
Sarah, are you alright?
Yeah, just some sleep.
Sarah?
It's Inspector O'Connor.
I think the
banshee's in the house.
What?
I'm on my way, listen.
I did some research on the
banshee, you need to hear this.
Apparently, the legend
is based on a woman
who lived in the 1600s, who
was nicknamed the Banshee.
She sacrificed her
husband in some ritual
and claimed he went off to sea.
What happened to her?
The villagers
found her blood stained dress.
She was burned at
the stake as a witch.
The villagers believed
she imprinted her evil
in her silver comb.
Sarah, there's more.
It's not what you think.
Sarah?
Sarah?
Sarah, what's going on?
Sarah?
Sarah?
She's gone.
Sarah, are you alright?
She's gone.
I defeated her, I
burned her comb.
Sarah, what comb?
Comb.
I wanted to tell
you on the phone.
The story about the
witch, the banshee...
They're not real.
I saw her in the house.
- Sarah...
- She...
It's a delusion.
She's not real?
These stories about
fairies and witches,
they're just inspiration
for your mind.
People have been telling stories
about the banshee
since the 1600s.
But it's all in your mind.
I don't understand.
Sarah, you're not well.
The banshee is a
warning from your body.
Come on, let me make
you a cup of tea.
No, I think that
I need some rest.
This sucks, I'm leaving!
Really?
Right at the good part, too.
Shit!
Come on, Frankie, get
it together, Jesus.
Hey, you alright?
Yup, I'm fine.
What happened, you get spooked?
I mean, you could have left.
Remember the whole chicken exit?
You're my ride.
I'm fine, what's next?
Full Moon just
started in theater five?
Perfect!
Alright.
You guys are
always at the same night.
What, alright!
Two for two,
okay, here you go, thank you.
One, please.
Hi Sir, one,
alright, there you go.
Alright all the way to the left.
Hey sir, how can I help you?
There you go.
Use the door right down there.
Hi, what can I do for you...
One, please.
One, gotcha,
there you go, enjoy your show.
One, please.
Sorry kid, it's a private
screening, invitation only.
I have a note from my dad.
Cute kid, but I
can't let you in.
Come back tomorrow for
the screening of frozen.
The horror movie
on the ski slope?
No.
Enjoy the show!
For you, Sir?
I'd like a rack of
ribs and some chicken.
Okay, we just ran out of ribs,
but I can bring that chicken
out to you in about a minute.
And for you, Sir?
Skittles.
There's a back door over here.
Come on, Brandy, you really
wanna see a crappy movie?
You're both chickenshits.
I'm missing Vampire Diaries.
Here it is!
Shouldn't you be minding
the concession stand?
We just ran out of meat!
Did you check the freezer?
Of course, I did!
We're out, I'm telling
you, it's gone!
10 minutes to sundown.
I know, and I'm starving!
I told you to eat
before you got here!
I've got a litter to feed!
Ah!
What?
Ah, just that looks amazing!
See ya, losers!
And let's lock her up.
Hey, let us in!
Later losers!
You suck and I
hope you get caught!
Dad will get her out
of trouble, he always does.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome!
Welcome to oh, hey, hey, hey!
We're thrilled to
have you with us!
Before us the famous
cult classic film,
Foaming at the Mouth Part Two.
Also on behalf of
myself and my staff,
I would like to apologize
for the shortage of food;
however, we are
working diligently
to get the problem resolved.
In the meantime,
the uncontrollable urge
to tear, claw or gnaw,
please feel free to ask one
of my lovely ushers
for a muzzle.
We want meat!
Okay, Sir, Sir,
we're doing everything
we can to accommodate you.
Bullshit!
Yeah, let's get
those lights down.
Enjoy your movie.
Get outta here!
Get away from me,
please get away from me!
Please help me!
Going somewhere, little girl?
I remember you.
Give her to me.
Now to be fair we'll
have to raffle her off.
Everyone check
their ticket stubs
and let's get some numbers!
Think she's got
enough meat on her
for the four lucky winners!
Don't worry, it won't hurt bad.
What's your name?
Brianne.
Oh, Brianne, you
picked the wrong night
to sneak into the
theater, Brianne.
Hey Amanda, let's
get the numbers.
Amanda, snap out of it.
Winner!
Winner!
Two more!
Oh, me, me, me, us, us!
Winner!
A little young there for a
tattoo, aren't you kiddo?
Winner!
What's the matter, little girl?
It's not gonna be that bad?
They'll kill you real
fast, we promise.
Why didn't you just let me in?
I had a note from my dad.
Oh, that's right,
a note from your dad.
How could I forget?
Please allow my
daughter, Brianne,
to see the movie Foaming
at the Mouth Two.
If you don't let her,
you'll regret it.
Hey pal, what'd we miss?
Just the standards,
full moons, owls
and a guy with a monstrous
secret.
Awesome.
Hey buddy, you okay?
I think we should go.
Run!
- Shit!
- Seriously?
It's literally locked.
Oh, my God!
We gotta hide!
Stop that!
Stop what?
What you're doing.
Oh, you mean, this?
What time is it?
4:30.
I have to leave pretty soon.
Sun comes up at 6:30.
My wife's plane doesn't
get here til 5:30.
I'm not worried about your wife.
What does she do again?
She works for the Ciph Room.
Sounds boring.
Yeah, it is, she's
always taking trips,
leaving me here to
take care of the kids.
You don't have kids.
It's what I call the dogs.
Divorce her.
I can't.
Can't?
Not yet anyway.
It's too much money involved.
You don't need money
anymore, my dear.
No fucking way!
Quick, get in the closet!
Oh, come on!
Do it!
Everything alright?
Yeah, you're home early.
Yeah, I took an earlier flight,
thought I'd surprise you.
Well, you did.
Good.
What time did you go to bed?
Oh, about 12:30.
Really?
It's pretty early.
Who's in the closet?
What?
Do you think I'm stupid, Ronald?
Calm down sweetie, okay?
I will.
Just let me check
one more thing first.
Jesus Christ!
Hah, how about that?
You're crazy.
Well, I have two bullets left.
I can use one on you
and one on myself.
No, I'll just use both on you.
No wait!
God, you're heavy.
I gotta hand it to you, Ronald.
You had me fooled
for at least a month.
How long did you think
it would take me?
Out every night, nowhere
to be seen during the day.
I called your work last week.
They said you just
stopped showing up.
Schmuck.
I guess this means you
won't have to divorce me.
No pre-nup, either.
Well, now that you're
dead, I can be honest.
I never took that
trip to Atlanta.
I just waited for you and
that whore in the back
to make it to our bed.
Well, my bed actually.
I'm the one who paid for it.
Where'd you find
the bimbo, anyway?
I followed her around, but
couldn't find where she lived.
Probably homeless.
Way to aim high, Ron.
I spent the last 10
years defending you.
Do you even know
what I went through?
My father kept telling
me, don't marry that man,
he'll only hurt you.
But did I listen?
No.
I just kept telling everyone,
you don't know the real Ron.
Oh, it's just so disgusting.
I hate you, Ronald.
I hate everything about you.
I'm glad that you're dead.
Time to dump the garbage.
Remember this spot, Ron?
We used to stay up all night
and watch the sun come up.
Hmm.
Wow, S&M, charming.
What the hell?
Huh, that's what I thought.
Oh, shit.
Ronald!
Ronald, where are you, honey?
What the fuck is this?
Elaine!
I'm sorry about what I said.
I don't hate you!
I'm just uh, disappointed.
Yeah, that's it, I'm just...
Disappointed and hurt?
Elaine.
Sweety.
Alright, alright,
you wanna divorce?
I'll give you a divorce.
Ron, dear?
Shit.
Hah, spare!
I'll miss
watching the sun come up.
You'll get used to it.
Did you finish, Elaine?
Actually, I had a better idea.
She'll turn just before sunrise.
Figured she'd like
to see it again.
Just for old time's sake.
Payback for putting
four bullet holes in me.
Goodbye, dear.
You know, it never really
was about the money.
It was about spending
the rest of my life
with someone as lifeless as you.
Hurry up, we
have less than 30 minutes!
You were great back there.
Thanks, sweety.
So were you.
Ma'am, you okay?
Cutting it pretty close.
Drive faster.
This is as fast as this
piece of shit goes, sweety.
What the hell are you doing?
I don't know.
It must have got a
flat or something.
Shit, keep driving.
If I keep driving, it's
gonna make things worse.
There's a spare in the back.
What's taking so long?
I thought I saw something.
Open the door!
- Shit!
- What?
It's in Elaine's purse
at the bottom of the river!
What about the house keys?
Well, she had them.
Shit!
Don't you know the combination?
It's not working!
It's been changed!
Elaine, open the door!
Who's lifeless now, schmuck?
So we just
stay in here all night?
I don't know, I just,
I need some time to think.
Okay.
So do you do this for
all of your first dates,
or am I special?
What take them to horror movies?
No, save them from werewolves
and J-horror cliches.
What?
You like me.
Do not.
It's okay, I'm pretty cool.
Yeah, you're okay, when
you're not being a diva.
Excuse me?
You know what, all my
attention's on you now.
So don't screw this up,
lover boy, pressure's on.
Did you hear that?
Yeah, hang on.
Jesus Christ, it's
Michael Martin.
Michael Martin was in
Slumber Party Slaying.
The killer in Camp
Blood is Norman Ferris.
I think I love you.
I know.
Finch, Finch!
Norman Ferris, no defense.
Finch!
Is that supposed to work?
Man, I don't know, he
drowned in the movie!
God, you're such a geek!
No, I'm not!
So Jack,
you said your parents left
just before I got here?
They do that a lot, huh?
Just leave you here alone in
this big old house by yourself?
I'm not alone.
You're just like all
the other sitters.
No one ever believes me.
Hey, hey, take it easy.
I believe you, it's just
a little unusual, is all.
It's cool.
It's just I don't normally
take jobs by text message.
I like to talk to
the parents first.
That way I know
what rules to break.
I don't know about you,
but I like to eat and
watch TV at the same time.
But, but we're not supposed to.
Mom always says that when...
Well, she isn't here, is she?
So it'll be our little secret.
Plus there's a pirates
versus ninjas movie on.
Yay!
You see this,
you pirate bitches?
Uh, somebody save me!
Don't you see it will never end?
Pirate killing ninja,
ninja killing pirate.
It'll never stop.
No, no it won't.
Not unless I kill
every last one of them.
He's just a peasant.
The poor sheath
can hide this steel.
I've got your back, pirate.
What was that?
There's too many of them!
You and Julia get out of here!
Jack!
Hey, Jack!
You guys have a cat
or dog or something,
you forgot to tell me about?
Ninjas and pirates,
it's a new generation.
Then what was that?
I don't know.
Probably the monsters.
The monsters?
The monsters in my room.
You have monsters in your room?
Yeah, I'm sure
that's it, monsters.
Just one more story, please?
Jack, you've had
just one more story
about seven or
eight times already.
It's time for bed, little buddy.
Aw, my other sitters
always read me more stories.
Hey speaking of,
how many other
sitters have you had?
You make it sound like no
one sticks around very long.
Come on, Sarah,
just one more story.
This one's my favorite.
Look, you don't want
to go to bed, I get that.
Is it the dark you're scared of?
I can leave the light on.
No, no, don't let
the light in, okay, promise?
Okay, okay, take it easy.
But think of it this way,
if the light's on, the monsters
are too scared to
come out, alright?
They always come out, always.
Oh.
That little monkey.
Jack!
Jack!
Don't make me come up...
There.
That's weird.
Jack, I thought I told you to...
It wasn't me, it
was the monsters.
And what monsters would that be?
But they, they were...
Jack, there are so
such thing as monsters,
and there will be no
more playing, got it?
It's bed time, buddy.
Now sweet dreams.
No one ever believes me.
That is it, mister!
You are going to be in so
much...
They're real!
The monsters!
I told you.
Jack, I gotta get
you out of here!
Oh, they're not going to get me.
They're trying to
get away from me.
I like them, they're mine.
I won't ever let them leave.
Jack!
It's not them, it's me.
I'm the monster.
The monster you're so scared of.
No!
It can't be!
It's like Dawn of the Dead here.
Kinda yeah, with like
tweaking out zombies.
No, like real 1978
lumbering Romero zombies.
Well, I guess it's time
for the chicken exit.
Do you think we
could push through?
We're gonna have to
before they come fully to.
You're kidding.
That's our only way out.
Okay.
Well, I'm not really sure
how I'm gonna top this
for a second date.
Second date?
Well yeah, I mean,
I kinda wanna take you
out again, if you want to.
I had fun!
And I guess you could say
I saved your ass in there,
so I feel like you owe me.
I owe you?
Okay, one condition, no movies.
Do you hear something?