Monsters Vs Aliens (2009) Movie Script
Hey, Jerry
You might want to check this one out
Palomar just picked it up
Look like some type of UFO
and it's heading this way
How many times do I have to tell you this
UFOs don't exist and we are never gonna see...
Wow. It's energy
signature is massive
Holy Jesus, what do we do?
No one ever told us what to do
the only reason I took this job
is 'cos you don't have to do anything
Jerry, Stop it !
We calculate its impact point
Looks like
Modesto, California
Supenova: this is Red Dwarf
We actually have one
Code Nimoy, I repeat
Code Nimoy
What are you guys doing here?
It's 5 o'clock in the morning
Hurry, turn on the TV
Turn it on now
...and some early morning fog
giving way to sunny skies
a perfect day to stop by the old folk garden craft show
down at the fair grounds
or a perfect day to marry
Susan Murphy
I love you baby
I love you too
And good morning
Modesto...
Channel 172
You look gorgeous, sweetheart
Thanks, mom
Ah, my little girl
Daddyi !!
Now I want you to know that
even though I'm about to give you away
I'll always be here
to take care of you
Don't cry 'cos then you're gonna make me cry
and this leaves me a mess
I can't help me
oh, I can't
Hello, everyone, attention attention
Wedding starts in 30 minutes
My beautiful daughter in law
Hi, mama Dietl
-It's like a fairy tale
The weatherman and
the weatherman's wife
Oh, romantic
-Ah, I know
Just think... this time tomorrow
I'm gonna be in Paris
and some day, we won't just be honeymooning there
Derek will become an anchor
or a foreign correspondant
and we'll travel all over the world
Oh, honey
my fingers are crossed
One thumb is shorter than the other
It runs in the family
Derek doesn't have that
-It skips a generation
Your kids are gonna have it
Wow
You look beautiful
So do you... I mean, handsome
I mean...
Sorry, I'm just a little frazzled
I just spent way too much time
with our parents
Don't worry, ok?
We'll be alone soon
Just us
Hmmm... eating cheese
and baguettes at the Sun
feeding each other
chocolate crepes, hmmm
Is something wrong?
-No, it's just that...
There's been a slight change of plans
We are not going to Paris
What?
Why not?
Because we are going
somewhere better
Better than Pars?
Oh, yeah
-Where?
Tahit?
-Nope!
Fresno
Fresno !
Fresno?
In what universe is.. Fresno
better than Pars, Derek?
In the...
I got an audition to become channel 23's
new evening anchor universe
I got the call from the general manager
He wants me to come inmediately, isn't that great?
Derek
That's ...
amazing
It's amazing. Fresno is like the
top 50 markets, isn't it?
Actually it's 55th
but we are on our way, babe
Now look
about Pars...
Oh, it's ok...It's fine
As long as we are together
Fresno is the most romantic city
in the whole world
I'm so proud of you
Of us...
not just of me
I mean, of course, but we are a team now
You are so proud of us
Now get out of here
It's bad luck to see me in my dress
Oh, come on !
You know I don't believe in that stuff
I'll be waiting for you
at the altar
The handsome news ancho
in the tux, alright?
I love you
There, I said it
I love you too
Susan !
Where could she be?
Susan !
Where are you?
Susan
Where've you been?
I think I just go hit
by a meteroid
Oh, Susan, every bride feels that way
on her wedding day
My goodness, look at you. You're all filthy
Thank God I have wet wipes
Wow
You are ... glowing
Thank you
No, no Susan, you're like, really glowing
You're green
Oh, no!
No
What's going on?
What's happening here?
You are all shrinking!
Na-ha, you are growing
-Well, make it stop
Get me the goverment!
This is impossible
No
This can't be happening
Wait, wait, Everybody
It's OK
have some champagne
whjle we're figuring this out
Thumbs!
Thumbs!
Derek
help me!
Here comes the bride
Oh, Carl
It's her wedding day
Derek !
Derek !
?? hurts
Damm it
??
(open fire)
What's been happening to me?
Don't panic, don't worry
Whatever you don, don't drop...
Derek !
(Sorry sir)
Who are you people?
What are you doing?
Stop it
Be careful!
Get your hands off me
Don't you know who I am?
Please
Just leave me alone!
Move it, move it!
Let's go, move it!
Derek !
??
Let's get this baby on the bus
Honey, can you hit the snooze?
Baby
why you set the alarm?
We are on honeymoon
Hello?
What's going on?
Hello?
??
??
quiet ?? she can hear us
Hello?
Is there someone in there?
Could you please tell me
where I am?
What was that?
Hello
Eeeewwww !
Would you stop
Be careful
Please, Madam
Stop...
doing...
that
Whatever mad scientist
made you
he really went all out
You can...
talk
Hi there!
Argg, my back!
Just kidding
I don't have a back
Forgive him, but as you can see
he has no brain
Turns out
you don't need one
Totally overated
As a matter of fact...
I don't even...
I forgot how to breath
I forgot how to breath
Help me Dr Cockroach
Help!
Suck in
Bob
Thanks Doc
You are a lifesaver
Wow, look at you
I know what you are thinking
First day in prison, you wanna
take out the toughest guy in the yard
Well, I'd like to see you try...
Gosh. What?!
She is speechless
She?
Yes Bob. We are in the presence
of the rare female monster
No way
It's a boy
Look at his boobies
We need to have a talk
-Gentlemen
I'm afraid we are not making
a very good first impression
At least I'm talking. First new monster in years
we are gonna get like a wolfman
or mummy, just, you know
somebody to play cards with
Might we ask your name,
Madam?
Susan
No, no, no
We mean like your monster name
Like what do people scream
when they see you coming?
you know... like: 'look out'
Here comes...
Susan
Really?
Suuuusan
I just scared myself
That is scary
Yes!
Eat time
That is repulsive
Oh, I love slipper!
Oh please God please
tell me this isn't real
Please tell me I just had a nervous breakdown at the wedding
and now I'm at a mental hospital and I'm on medication
and it's giving me hallucinations
Don't scare InsectoSaur. He is gonna pee himself
and then we all be in trouble
Everyone run at the door??
There's got to be a door here, where is the door?
It's ok, buddy
Don't worry about it
Who is a handsome bug?
You like it when I rub your tummy?
Please, somebody. I don't belong here
Let me out
Hey, hey
That is not a good idea
Let me out!
Monsters
Get back in your cells
Oh, thank goodness
A real person
You are a real person
Right?
Not one of those half-person
half-machine... you know?
Whatever you call those things?
A Cyborg?
-Oh, no!
You are a cyborg?
Madam, I assure you
I am not a cyborg
My name is
General W.R.Monguer
I'm in charge of this facility
Now follow me, it's time for your orientation
In 1950 it was decided that Jane and Joe public
can not handle the truth about monsters
and should focus in more important things
like paying taxes
So the goverment convinced the world
Monsters were stuff of myth & legend
and the locked them away
in this here facility
But I'm not a monster
I'm just a regular person
I'm not a danger to anyone
or anything
Don't let her get me!
Sorry
How long will I be here?
-Indefinitely
Can I contact my parents?
-No
Derek?
-Negative
Do they know where I am?
-No, and they never will
This place is X file
wrapped in a cover-up
and deepfried in a paranoid conspiracy
There will be zero contact
with the outside world
??
Ah, Susan
You wouldn't happen to have
any uranium on you?
Just need a smidge
Rescend Dr. Cockrach toybox
privileges inmediately
We just had the prison's phycologist
redecorate your cell
Try to keep you all
calm ??
But I don't want a poster
I want a real kitty
hanging from a real tree
I wanna go home
Oh, come on, ?? please don't cry
makes my knees hurt
Don't think of this
as a prison
think of it as hotel you'll never leave
because it's locked from the outside
Oh, and
one other thing
The goverment has changed your name
to Ginormica
Begin
re-animation sequence
Who dares to wake me?
Quantonium has been located on a distant
planet in the omega quadrant
The Omega quadrant?
Lame
The trajectory of the Quantonium meteor
has been traced to sector 72-4
A planet locally known
as Earth
What a miserable looking
mudball
Send a robot probe
Extract the Quantonium
with extreme predujice
I want it all
Every last drop
Yes, Gallahxar
Nothing can stand
in my way now
Don't rush me, Katie
I'm just...not ready
Oh, relax, Cuthbert
it's just like dancing
are we?
Katie
I have a gymnastic's meet
tomorrow, so maybe I...
Did you ??
Thank goodness
It's the police
We weren't doing anything
officer
Yeah
Nothing at all
??
Why did I even
let you talk me into this
Maybe we should
get out of here
Maybe we should
go check it out
Katie
are you nuts?
Wait
Don't leave me alone
Ow
My ankle
I think it's broken
Katie
This is the worst
date ever
Katie
I'm freaking
It was first spotted
at midnight last night
by a couple
in romantic embrace
No one knows what it is
or where it came from
All branches of the military
were inmediately move on
What is that ??
OK
I have just received word
that the president of the US has arrived
and will attempt to
make first contact
I must approach it
alone
This is all about
peaceful communication
Yes, Sir
Mr. President
Perimeter stable
Got a vis on Papa Bear, all clear
Commander
Do something violent
You heard the president
??
?? down here.
Call in air support. Call in air support
Call in... hmmm
Call in a full retreat
Full retreat, full retreat
All troops
?? Papa Bear is on the move
No, wait
So that's how you
wanna play it?
Eat lead
alien ??
Evidently they eat lead
-Get him on the chopper
I'm brave
I'm a brave president
...own approved goverment
... only have about two weeks left
If that think walks into a populated area
there will be a major catastrophe
We need our top scientific minds on this
Get India on the phone
if we transport the US
to a safer planet...
I say we give this alien a green card
and make him proud to be an American
Sir thy times like this when I stop
and ask myself: what would Oprah do?
?? it all
What's the point?
It's a disaster
Stop sir - Don't do it
Stop, no!
That button lauches all
of our nuclear missiles
Well then, which button
gets me a latte?
Ahh... That would be
the other one, Sir
What idiot designed this thing?
You did, Sir
Fair enough
Wilson, fire somebody
Listen up!
I'm not going to go down in history
as the president who was in office
when the world came to an end
so somebody think of something and think of it fast
That's a good
Capu-ccio
Mr. President
Not only do I have an idea
but I have a plan
Now conventional weapons
have no effect on this thing
and we all know
nukes ain't an option
Sure they are. Press..
-No, no, no the button, wait!
I'm not gonna kid you, Mr. President
These are dark times
The odds are against us
We need a Hail Mary pass
We need raw power, we need...
Monsters
Monsters
Of course
It's so simple
I...
I'm not following you
Over the last 50 years I have captured monsters on the rampage
and locked them up in a secret prison facility
So secret that the mere mention of its name
is a federal offense
Is he referring to area fifty...
Mr. President, say hello to
Insecta-Saur
Miss Ronson
please
Nuclear radiation, turned him from a small grub
into a 350' tall monster, that attacked Tokyo
Here we have
The Missing Link
A 20.000 years old frozen fishman
Who was ?? out by scientists
He escaped, and went on a rampage
in his old watering ??
This handsome fellow
is Dr.Cockroach Ph.D.
The most brilliant man in the world
He invented a scientific machine
that would give humans
the cockroache's ability to survive
Unfortunately
there was a side effect
Now, we call this thing BOB
Can we get her out of here?
Thank you
A genetically altered tomato was combined with a
chemically altered ranch-flavor dessert topping at a snack food plant
The resulting goo gained consciousness
and became an indistructible gelatinous mass
And our latest addition
Ginormica
General, contine
Her entire body radiates with pure energy
giving her enormous strength and size
Sir, these monsters are our best
and only chance to defeat that robot
Don't we already have an
Alien problem, General
I don't think we need
a monster problem too
You got a better idea
nerd?
Ok
Stay where you are
General, I propose we go forward
with your monsters vs aliens idea, thank you
Go fish
Do...you...
have...any...
three's?
Yes, I do. How are you doing this?
You are the luckiest guy I know
Luck ain't got nothing to do with it
What the ...?
Hey
They called me crazy
but I'll show them
I'll show them all
Dr, I'd prefer you didn't do your mad scientist laugh
while I'm hooked up to this machine
You're right
Insecto
You've been letting that quak
experiment on you for over a month
I'm not a quak
I'm a mad scientist
There's a difference
Guys
What choice do I have?
If he can make me normal
or even 6'8", I can get out of here
get back to the life
I'm supposed to have
I mean, I should be...
-Let me guess: Fresno?
Well, Fresno is just
a steppin'stone
Next stop: Milwaukee, and then New York
and then someday hopefully
Yeah, we know:
Paris
Throw the switch, Dr.
But don't do the laugh
Now, you'll feel a slight
pinch in the brain
Sorry
Susan!
Yuuhuu!
am I small again?
I'm afraid not
my dear
In fact
You may actually have grown
a couple of feet
It's ok, Doc
We'll try again tomorrow
You really don't get it
Do you?
No monster
has ever gotten out of here
That's not true
The invisible man did
No he didn't. We just told you that
so you wouldn't get upset
He died of a heart attack
Nooo !
Yeah
In that very chair
he still there?
you see what I'm saying?
Nobody is leaving, nobody is ever getting out
Good news, monsters
You are getting out
Until today
So let me get this straigh
Monguer
You want us to fight
an alien robot
And in exchange, the president of the US
has authorized me to grant you your freedom
Ah!
I can't believe it!
Soon I'll be back in Derek's arms
Or him in mine
I can't wait for Spring Break
back at Cocoa Beach just...
freaking everybody out
And I'll go back to my lab
and finally finish my experiments
No, no
That's me, Bob
Then I'll be a...
really giant lady
That's Susan, Bob
Fine, then I'll go back to Modesto
and be with Derek
ya.. still Susan, Bob
I think I at least
deserve a chance to be with Derek
All right
Let's go
Everybody move in an orderly fashion
This is an emergency
We are evacuating the city
Exact change is appreciated but not necessary
Let's move out!
This is San Francisco !
This ins't far from my home
Feel the wind on your antennas
Isn't this wonderful?
I haven't been outside in 50 years
It's amazing out here
It's a little hotter than I remember
Has the Earth gotten warmer?
That'd be great to know that
it'd be a very convinient truth
Now, that'a
a robot!
It's huge
Try not to damage it too much, Monsters
I may want to bring it back to the farm
No, no, wait
You didn't say anything about it being huge
Wait
No, don't leave
I think he sees us
Hello, hey!
How are you doing?
Welcome
We are here to destroy you
I can't fight that thing
I can't even...
I...
I'm hyperventilating
Does anybody have
a giant paper bag?
Relax
Old link has this under control
-Hide in the city, Susan, you'll be safe there
but stay away from the Tenderloin
It's a little shady??
Finally, some action
I'm gonna turn that oversized tin can into a
really dented oversize tin can
OK
Does anybody have a 20 on Insect-a-Saur's
Wow, would you look at
the size of that?
??
I got it, you guys
I got...
Don't worry, I won't let go
I'm wearing it down...
??
he's slowing down
Get to the city, Link
I'll catch up with you as soon as I can
Or maybe...
You'll have to catch up with me
No!
No!
OK, ok
I got this
Yeap
That hurt
Get in
I have a plan
Hot dogs!
All right, Link. I'm going to pull up alongside it
You get up in there, get into its central processing unit and...
Hey, guys
Catch me!
Let's go, let's go keep it moving
Hey, no honking
Excuse me
moving out
on your right...
no control
Oh, no
OK
It's gonna be OK
Look, I have to get you out of there
Hold on a second
You have to get off the bridge
before ...
Help!
No, no, no !
Get away from me!
Coming through
?? watch it
Hey, furrball
Where've you been?
Yeah, I know
I'm just a little out of shape
Excuse me, he is trying to kill me
Why is he doing that, why...?
Wow
Wow!
You are doing great!
I'm doing
everything!
Not for long. Come on, you guys
Let's take this thing down
A deflector shield
Tipical
You can't crush
a cockroach
Right, right, right
Here we go
Insect-a-Saur
Insect-a-Saur
BOB !
-What?
Help me!
Sorry, I was just staring
at this bird over there
We have to get these people
off the bridge
Got it
No Bob
Move the conveyors
Oh, yes, you're right
My bad
Go, go
go, go
Link!
Oh, I don't feel good
Ok, Susan
You can do that
All right
Let's take this thing down
Retreival has failed
Don't get upset
It happens to everyone
That lower life form
Think she can steal my Quantonium?
Send another probe
at once
Quantonium
can not be retrieved via robot
Carbon-based life form, locally known as Susan
is now too strong
Oh, you think because
you are all big and strong...
..and you can destroy my robot probe
that you're gonna send me running and hiding?
My days of running and hiding
are over
Computer; set the course to Earth
I will retrieve the Quantonium myself
Even if I need to rip it out of her body
one cell at a time
Be careful
It's hot
a giant alien robot, I would've said: no can't do
but I did it! Me! I'm so buzzing
I mean, did you see how strong I was?
There probably isn't a jar in this world
I can't open
You were possitively heroic
my Dear
I specially loved
how you saved all those people on the bridge
it was a nice touch
Wasn't she amazing, Link?
Yeah, she was great. Really cool
Loved it
Poor Link. After all that tough talk you were
?? by a girl
Con razn ests deprimido
Hey, I'm not depressed
I'm tired
Why are you tired?
You didn't do anything
Well, I haven't been sleeping well, alright?
I get sleepne-apness
Apne.., apnea... Whatever
It's not fun
So Link is a little rusty
I mean, sleep deprived
You'll be back to your old self in no time
And so will I
What happened to that
"There isn't a jar in the world I can't open" stuff?
Wait. Did you find a jar you can't open? What was in it?
Was it pickles in it? Where's the gigant jar of pickles?
What my associate is trying to say is that
we all think the new Susan is the cat's me-wow
Lo siento
Thanks you guys
That is so sweet
But I have a normal life waiting for me
You know?
So tell me exactly how this normal life thing works
with you being giant and all
I'm not gonna be a giant forever
Derek won't rest
until we find a cure for my...
condition
We're a team
We can all do with a Derek
Perhaps some day we can make his acquaintance
Really?
You guys wanna meet Derek?
First stop: Modesto
Ginormica, I called your family
to let them know you coming home
Now I also called the Modesto PD
told them not to shoot at you
Thanks
General
Ok, remember
These people aren't used to seeing anything like...
You. Or you...
Or you...
So just be... you know, cool
Just be, you know? Follow my lead
Stop. That was an accident!
Don't destroy anything
Susan?
Susie ??
Mom?
Daddy?
Did they
experiment on you?
No, mom
I'm fine
xxxx
It's ok
They are with me
These are my new friends
Oh, Derek
I missed you so much
?? thought we'd be
together again
just ?? hope through prison. I love you
I love this man
No, BOB
That's my mother
You're sofocating her !
Honey
Are you alright?
I taste ham
Sorry, mom
He is just a hugger
Where's Derek?
He is at work, swetie
You know how he is
about his career
Well, we are not gonna celebrate
without him
Susan, what do I do
with all your little friends?
Just put out some snacks
They'll eat anything
Oh, ambrosia!
How're you all?
??
friends
Way to ??
Insecto
Who wants to go
for a swim with The Link?
Hi, I'm Benzoate Ostylezene Bicarbonate
Or you can call me BOB
Whichever is easier
Do I come on too strong?
I'm sorry, I'm a little rusty
?? I've been in prison my whole life
Why I mentioned prison?
Oh, I didn't mean to scare you
I'm just gonna go
Ah, I feel so stupid
Everyone just stay calm
Whatever you do, do not provoke them
Anyone cares for atomic gin fizz?
It's got quite a ...
Kick
Clorine, clorine
Clorine in my eyes
??!
Everyone
Run for your lives!
What are they running away from?
...that's hilarious, Jim
That's exactly the kind down home country humor
I'm gonna miss when I'm in Fresno
This is Derek Dietl
signing off for the very last time
Good night...
Modesto!
Channel 172
And...
Cut!
Did you like that sign off?
Just made it up
Oh, my goodness!
wait, wait, wa...it!
Oh, Derek!
You wouldn't believe my last 3 weeks
Just wouldn't believe it
Thinking about you
was the only thing that kept me sane
...Can't breath!
Oh, my gosh
Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry
Oh my god
Is that better?
OK
OK
I'm just still kind of
getting used to my new strength
Wow, you really
are big
Yeah, but I'm still me
I'm still the same girl you fell in love with
Except you did just
destroyed the Golden Gate bridge
Well, that was the only way
I was gonna stop that giant robot
Did you ever think I could do something like that?
-No, I didn't
I can honestly say that it never ever, ever, ever
ever, ever ever occurred to me
I know this is a little weird... Ok, it's a lot weird
But we'll figure it out
I know that togethe
we can find a way to get me back to normal
Susan, try to look at this
from my perspective
I have an audience that depends on me for
news, weather, sports and heartwarming fluff pieces
So you expect me to put all that on hold
while you try to undo this thing that happened to you?
That I had absolutely nothing
to do with?
Yes
That's exactly what I expect
What about the life we always talked about?
Don't you still want that?
Of course
I just, don't see...
don't see how
I can have that with your
Derek
Please...
Don't do this
You have to face facts
Susan
And don't crush me for saying this, but I'm not looking to get married
and spend the rest of my life on someone else's shadow
and you're casting
a pretty big shadow
Lo siento
It's over
Good luck
Susan
Leaving Modesto
Wow, what a shindig!
Your parents really know
how to throw it down
That was a.. great party.
One of the best I've been to, since I got out of prison
I must have been at a different party
'cos that's not how I interpreted it at all
I don't think your parents liked me
and I think that Jello gave me a fake phone number
Well, at least the garbage was free
and...
Who are we kidding?
We could save every city in the planet and they'd still
treat us the same way they've always treated us
Like monsters
Right, monsters
Anyway, how...
How is Derek?
Derek...
is a selfish jerk
No!
-Yes!
All that talk about "us"
I'm so proud of "us"
"Us just got a job in Fresno
It was no "us"
It was only Derek
Why did I have to get hit by a meteor
to see that?
Idiot!
Why did I ever think life with Derek
would be so great anyway
I mean, look at all the stuff
I've done without him
Fighting an alien robot?
That was me, not him
And that was amazing
Meeting you guys
Amazing
Dr. Cockroach
You can crawl up walls and...
build a supercomputer out of a pizza box
two cans of hair spray and..
And a paper clip
Amazing!
And you, you hardly need an introduction
You are the Missing Link!
You personally carried 250 coeds off Cocoa Beach
and still have the strength to fight the national guard
And the Coast Guard
and also the Life Guards
Amazing
Bob, who else could fall from unimaginable heights
and end up without a single scratch?
Link?
You!
Amazing!
Point Insecto
Susan, don't shortchange yourself
Oh, I'm not gonna shortchange myself
ever again
??
Susan!
Way to go
Insecto!
Insecto
look out!
Insect-a-Saur
Nooo!
It's gonna be alright
Look at me
Don't you close those eyes
Don't you dare close those eyes
You can't ...
Mom?
You must be terrified
You wake up in a strange place
wearing strange clothes
Imprisioned by a strange being
floating on a strange hovering device
Strange
Isn't it?
Hardly
It's not the first time
Wow
You really get around
To the extraction chamber
Look
what do you want from me?
You have stolen
what is rightfully mine
I didn't steal anything from you?
Your enormous grotesque body contains Quantonium
The most powerful substance in the universe
Did you really think
you could keep it from me?
That's what this is all about? You destroyed San Francisco
You terrified millions of people...
You killed my friend
just to get to me?
Silence
Your voice is grinding
in my ear nobs
It's a shame you won't be around to see
what the power of Quantonium can do
in the tentacles of someone
who knows how to use it
I know how to use it
Just...
Don't bother
That force field is impenetrable...
What the flagnog!
Ha! That should stop
your puny...
Computer
Close door hangar 2
Close door hangar 3
?? close 4
Close them all!
Computer
Begin extraction
Finally, I can rebuild my civilization
on a new planet
Any thoughts on where I should
set up shop?
Your planet, perhaps?
-You keep your slimy tentacles off my planet
If you wanted to stop me
you should've done it when you possessed the Quantonium
Now you are nothing
There's innocent people down there
who didn't do anything
There were innocent people on my home planet
before it was destroyed
Look I'm soory your planet
was destroyed
Oh, don't be
I'm the one who destroyed it
Confused?
After I reveal my tale to you
everything will become crystal clear
Computer
Initialize cloning machine
Yes
Gallahxar
Many centons ago
when I was but a squid
I found out my parents were...
No child should ever
have to endure that
So I went on the road with a giant...
And soon thereafter
was married
Things were going well
until she wanted to...
and then I was all: "no way"
and she was all: "yes way" and I was like...
But I told you
too much already
Let the birth of my new planet
now called
Gallahxar's Planet
begin!
Once again, an UFO
has landed in America
The only country
UFOs ever seem to land in
..excuse me...what's that, ??
okey-dokey
We now take you live to a transmission
from the alien's spacecraft
Humans of Earth
I have come in peace
You need not fear me
I mean you no harm
However, it's important to note
most of you will not survive the next 24 hours
though those of you who do survive
will be slaved and experimented on
You shouldn't take any of this personally
it's just business
So, just to recap:
I come in peace,I mean you no harm
and you all will die - Gallahxar's out
Ok, boys, set the terror level at
code brown 'cos I need to change my pants
What are we gonna do now
Doc?
I don't know
I'll tell you what we are gonna do
We are not gonna let
Insecto die in vain
We are gonna get up there, find Susan
and we're gonna take that alien down
Alright gentlemen. You got enough juice in those jetpacks to get up there
but not enough to make it home
I'll come get ya if I can
aif I don't, it means I'm death
or late
I've been your guardian
por close to 50 years
But that's no longer the case
For what it's worth
That's rude
What did we do?
No, Bob, that's not rude
That's a sign of respect
General, it's targeting us
-That's the idea, Lieutenant. Hold your course
Steady, steady
Hard right, hard right
Hard right!
I can't shake it
I can't shake it
Hang on to your socks
We are going for a ride
That's why I always
wear a parachute, Lieutenant
You can let go of me now
Lieutenant
Who are you signaling? We are over here
-Hey, zip it
You
-Hail, Gallahxar
No, no, not all of you
You, there
How do I do this?
Three back. No, no, no
That guy, next to you
The one I'm pointing at
You the one ....you clon
Yes, good
Take the prisoner to the incinerator
She is useless to us now
Hail, Gallahxar
Hail me
Wow
Ginormica isn't so...
ginormic any more
How are we supposed to get to her?
There's too many of them
It's impossible
I may not have a brain, gentlemen
But I have an idea
This is not gonna work
Halt!
I
Gallahxar, command you to hand over
the prisoner this instant
Clearly you are defective
beyond repair
Guards, take this defective clon
to the incinerator
Well, what are you waiting for?
You and you!
What, seriously?
Take the prisoner
and the defective clon to the incinerator
Ah, of course
Sir
and here's the security pass
just in case
Would you like a gun?
-Yes I would
Hey, guys
Look
I can't believe you guys
came to save me. Thank you
Don't mention it
We monsters got to stick together
But I'm not a monster anymore
I'm just... me
My dear, no matter what your size
you'll always be...
nothing but a filthy
carbon based lifeform
Hail, Gallahxar
These disguises
are the bomb!
That's it
Follow me
The only way to save the...(Hail Gallaxhar)
-Hail Gallahxar
The only way to save...(Hail Gallaxhar)
-Hail Gallahxar
The only way to save the earth, is to blow up this ship before the invasion (Hail Gallaxhar)
Hail Gallahxar before the invasion starts
So, how are we gonna do this?
-We need to find the main power core
Excuse me, could you direct usr
to the main power core?
Gladly, it's right there
above the extraction chamber
Thank you very much
Hail Gallaxhar
Watch out!
-Wow, look out brainless
Give me that thing
Weapon like this needs to be
in the hands of somebody responsable
What?
Hail, Galaxar?
Monsters
-(Monsters)
Monsters?
Atention, all aliens
Destroy all monsters
You want some of this?
You wanna hurt my friend
you'll have to go through me
Oh, yeah
Looks like we made it
OMG
-Good morning, intruder
You'll never figure out
my color code
A hexadecimal colorcode system
This won't be but a moment
Red green blue yellow orange baby blue
purple pink brown mocca avocado ...
Doc, come on!
Dance
Your ?? timed dance moves
are no match for my security protocols
We can't hold them off
much longer
One thing you don't know
about me, my dear
My... Ph.D....
is in... dance
Security protocol breached
Ship has been set to self-destruct
Total annihilation
in T minus 6 minutes
What? Launch the invasion them
-Invasion no longer possible
Oh, Space ?? Divert the Quantonium to the bridge
and prepare my escape capsule
Look at that. They're all running scared
Monsters win
I don't think that's
why they're running
Ship will self desturct
in T minus 5 minutes
Hail Gallahxar
We are not gonna make it
Hang on
That's no use
It won't budge
If I was still Ginormica
I could do this
Susan
Get out of here while you still got the chance
No, don't say that
I'm not leaving you guys
Yes you are ?? with Monguer
He is outside the ship, waiting for you
Go
while there's still time
Ship will self destruct
in T minus 4 minutes
Don't you worry about us, Susan
You finally have the chance to get your old life back
I don't want
my old life back
They think they stopped me?
They stopped nothing
female carbon based lifeform or "Susan"
not contained
Attention robot probes
Crash the earthling
Robot bay
has been destroyed
Fire phaseoid's cannon
Are you crazy?
You could've killed me!
Then we understand each other
Now, open the doors
and let my friends go
Or what?
You don't actually think
you are a match for me, do you?
Quantonium has been
successfully diverted to bridge
Escape capsule
ready for transport
Like I told you before you should've
defeated me when you had the Quantonium
Have fun
exploding
Now, open the doors!
Even if I wanted to
I couldn't
That's what happens
when you set the ship to self-destruct
Now we're all gonna die
And there's nothing
you can do about it
Susan ...
I wouldn't be so sure
And the name
is Ginormica
Annihilation
in T minus 1 minute
It's been an honor knowing you, Doc
-The feeling is mutual, my friend
I'll see you guys tomorrow
For lunch
That's right, Bob
-There'll be candy, cake, balloons
Cake and balloons
for lunch?
It's got to be the best day ever
I love you guys
??
Total annihilation
in T minus 30 seconds
Where's Monguer?
He's supposed
to be here
He said the only reason he wouldn't be here
is if he was dead
Or late
Insect-a-Saur
You're alive!
... and you're a butterfly
(3, 2, 1)
-Come on, come on
Hmm, nothing happened
Maybe my count...
Oh, great
Oh, boy!
Susie-??
Daddy!
-Oh, Susan
Ever since you were a baby
I knew that some day
you would, you know, save the Earth
from an invasion from outer space
Thank you
but it wasn't just me, mom
Excuse me. Hello
Coming through. How are you?
Susan!
Derek?
Baby, I thought long and hard
about what happened between us
And I want you to know
I forgive you
You forgive me
Of course it wasn't your fault you got hit by a meteor
and ruined everything and, you know what?
I say maybe you didn't ruin everything
I just got a call from New York. They offered me network
All I have to do
is get an exclusive interview from you
Really?
Yeah, I get my dream job
and you get your dream guy
It's a win-win for team Dietl
Derek
that's amazing
Is the camera rolling?
Absolutely ...
Good, because I wouldn't want
your fans out there to miss this
This is Susan Murhpy
saying
Goood byeee Derek
Bob, could you...?
Derek, you are a selfish jerk
And you know what?
I've met someone else. She's lime green
she has 14 little chunks of pineapple inside of her
and she is everything I deserve in life
I'm happy now, Derek
without you. It's over
Monsters
I'm so proud of you I could cry
if I hadn't lost my tear ?? in the war
But not crying, will have to wait
The world needs you again
What is it, General?
Seems a snail fell into a
French nuclear reactorl
As we speak, Scargetua
is slowly making its way to Paris
Well, I've always wanted
to go to Paris
Now, who's with me?
What do you say
Butter-Fly-Sauros?
We're in
I'm in!
-Count me in, too
Aurvoir, sweetie
Have a safe flight
Yeah
And hang on
Goodbye, Derek
Good luck getting over me
Ahh, Bob. It's me he's
never gonna get over
Wait
You were dating Derek too?
That two-timing jerk!
You might want to check this one out
Palomar just picked it up
Look like some type of UFO
and it's heading this way
How many times do I have to tell you this
UFOs don't exist and we are never gonna see...
Wow. It's energy
signature is massive
Holy Jesus, what do we do?
No one ever told us what to do
the only reason I took this job
is 'cos you don't have to do anything
Jerry, Stop it !
We calculate its impact point
Looks like
Modesto, California
Supenova: this is Red Dwarf
We actually have one
Code Nimoy, I repeat
Code Nimoy
What are you guys doing here?
It's 5 o'clock in the morning
Hurry, turn on the TV
Turn it on now
...and some early morning fog
giving way to sunny skies
a perfect day to stop by the old folk garden craft show
down at the fair grounds
or a perfect day to marry
Susan Murphy
I love you baby
I love you too
And good morning
Modesto...
Channel 172
You look gorgeous, sweetheart
Thanks, mom
Ah, my little girl
Daddyi !!
Now I want you to know that
even though I'm about to give you away
I'll always be here
to take care of you
Don't cry 'cos then you're gonna make me cry
and this leaves me a mess
I can't help me
oh, I can't
Hello, everyone, attention attention
Wedding starts in 30 minutes
My beautiful daughter in law
Hi, mama Dietl
-It's like a fairy tale
The weatherman and
the weatherman's wife
Oh, romantic
-Ah, I know
Just think... this time tomorrow
I'm gonna be in Paris
and some day, we won't just be honeymooning there
Derek will become an anchor
or a foreign correspondant
and we'll travel all over the world
Oh, honey
my fingers are crossed
One thumb is shorter than the other
It runs in the family
Derek doesn't have that
-It skips a generation
Your kids are gonna have it
Wow
You look beautiful
So do you... I mean, handsome
I mean...
Sorry, I'm just a little frazzled
I just spent way too much time
with our parents
Don't worry, ok?
We'll be alone soon
Just us
Hmmm... eating cheese
and baguettes at the Sun
feeding each other
chocolate crepes, hmmm
Is something wrong?
-No, it's just that...
There's been a slight change of plans
We are not going to Paris
What?
Why not?
Because we are going
somewhere better
Better than Pars?
Oh, yeah
-Where?
Tahit?
-Nope!
Fresno
Fresno !
Fresno?
In what universe is.. Fresno
better than Pars, Derek?
In the...
I got an audition to become channel 23's
new evening anchor universe
I got the call from the general manager
He wants me to come inmediately, isn't that great?
Derek
That's ...
amazing
It's amazing. Fresno is like the
top 50 markets, isn't it?
Actually it's 55th
but we are on our way, babe
Now look
about Pars...
Oh, it's ok...It's fine
As long as we are together
Fresno is the most romantic city
in the whole world
I'm so proud of you
Of us...
not just of me
I mean, of course, but we are a team now
You are so proud of us
Now get out of here
It's bad luck to see me in my dress
Oh, come on !
You know I don't believe in that stuff
I'll be waiting for you
at the altar
The handsome news ancho
in the tux, alright?
I love you
There, I said it
I love you too
Susan !
Where could she be?
Susan !
Where are you?
Susan
Where've you been?
I think I just go hit
by a meteroid
Oh, Susan, every bride feels that way
on her wedding day
My goodness, look at you. You're all filthy
Thank God I have wet wipes
Wow
You are ... glowing
Thank you
No, no Susan, you're like, really glowing
You're green
Oh, no!
No
What's going on?
What's happening here?
You are all shrinking!
Na-ha, you are growing
-Well, make it stop
Get me the goverment!
This is impossible
No
This can't be happening
Wait, wait, Everybody
It's OK
have some champagne
whjle we're figuring this out
Thumbs!
Thumbs!
Derek
help me!
Here comes the bride
Oh, Carl
It's her wedding day
Derek !
Derek !
?? hurts
Damm it
??
(open fire)
What's been happening to me?
Don't panic, don't worry
Whatever you don, don't drop...
Derek !
(Sorry sir)
Who are you people?
What are you doing?
Stop it
Be careful!
Get your hands off me
Don't you know who I am?
Please
Just leave me alone!
Move it, move it!
Let's go, move it!
Derek !
??
Let's get this baby on the bus
Honey, can you hit the snooze?
Baby
why you set the alarm?
We are on honeymoon
Hello?
What's going on?
Hello?
??
??
quiet ?? she can hear us
Hello?
Is there someone in there?
Could you please tell me
where I am?
What was that?
Hello
Eeeewwww !
Would you stop
Be careful
Please, Madam
Stop...
doing...
that
Whatever mad scientist
made you
he really went all out
You can...
talk
Hi there!
Argg, my back!
Just kidding
I don't have a back
Forgive him, but as you can see
he has no brain
Turns out
you don't need one
Totally overated
As a matter of fact...
I don't even...
I forgot how to breath
I forgot how to breath
Help me Dr Cockroach
Help!
Suck in
Bob
Thanks Doc
You are a lifesaver
Wow, look at you
I know what you are thinking
First day in prison, you wanna
take out the toughest guy in the yard
Well, I'd like to see you try...
Gosh. What?!
She is speechless
She?
Yes Bob. We are in the presence
of the rare female monster
No way
It's a boy
Look at his boobies
We need to have a talk
-Gentlemen
I'm afraid we are not making
a very good first impression
At least I'm talking. First new monster in years
we are gonna get like a wolfman
or mummy, just, you know
somebody to play cards with
Might we ask your name,
Madam?
Susan
No, no, no
We mean like your monster name
Like what do people scream
when they see you coming?
you know... like: 'look out'
Here comes...
Susan
Really?
Suuuusan
I just scared myself
That is scary
Yes!
Eat time
That is repulsive
Oh, I love slipper!
Oh please God please
tell me this isn't real
Please tell me I just had a nervous breakdown at the wedding
and now I'm at a mental hospital and I'm on medication
and it's giving me hallucinations
Don't scare InsectoSaur. He is gonna pee himself
and then we all be in trouble
Everyone run at the door??
There's got to be a door here, where is the door?
It's ok, buddy
Don't worry about it
Who is a handsome bug?
You like it when I rub your tummy?
Please, somebody. I don't belong here
Let me out
Hey, hey
That is not a good idea
Let me out!
Monsters
Get back in your cells
Oh, thank goodness
A real person
You are a real person
Right?
Not one of those half-person
half-machine... you know?
Whatever you call those things?
A Cyborg?
-Oh, no!
You are a cyborg?
Madam, I assure you
I am not a cyborg
My name is
General W.R.Monguer
I'm in charge of this facility
Now follow me, it's time for your orientation
In 1950 it was decided that Jane and Joe public
can not handle the truth about monsters
and should focus in more important things
like paying taxes
So the goverment convinced the world
Monsters were stuff of myth & legend
and the locked them away
in this here facility
But I'm not a monster
I'm just a regular person
I'm not a danger to anyone
or anything
Don't let her get me!
Sorry
How long will I be here?
-Indefinitely
Can I contact my parents?
-No
Derek?
-Negative
Do they know where I am?
-No, and they never will
This place is X file
wrapped in a cover-up
and deepfried in a paranoid conspiracy
There will be zero contact
with the outside world
??
Ah, Susan
You wouldn't happen to have
any uranium on you?
Just need a smidge
Rescend Dr. Cockrach toybox
privileges inmediately
We just had the prison's phycologist
redecorate your cell
Try to keep you all
calm ??
But I don't want a poster
I want a real kitty
hanging from a real tree
I wanna go home
Oh, come on, ?? please don't cry
makes my knees hurt
Don't think of this
as a prison
think of it as hotel you'll never leave
because it's locked from the outside
Oh, and
one other thing
The goverment has changed your name
to Ginormica
Begin
re-animation sequence
Who dares to wake me?
Quantonium has been located on a distant
planet in the omega quadrant
The Omega quadrant?
Lame
The trajectory of the Quantonium meteor
has been traced to sector 72-4
A planet locally known
as Earth
What a miserable looking
mudball
Send a robot probe
Extract the Quantonium
with extreme predujice
I want it all
Every last drop
Yes, Gallahxar
Nothing can stand
in my way now
Don't rush me, Katie
I'm just...not ready
Oh, relax, Cuthbert
it's just like dancing
are we?
Katie
I have a gymnastic's meet
tomorrow, so maybe I...
Did you ??
Thank goodness
It's the police
We weren't doing anything
officer
Yeah
Nothing at all
??
Why did I even
let you talk me into this
Maybe we should
get out of here
Maybe we should
go check it out
Katie
are you nuts?
Wait
Don't leave me alone
Ow
My ankle
I think it's broken
Katie
This is the worst
date ever
Katie
I'm freaking
It was first spotted
at midnight last night
by a couple
in romantic embrace
No one knows what it is
or where it came from
All branches of the military
were inmediately move on
What is that ??
OK
I have just received word
that the president of the US has arrived
and will attempt to
make first contact
I must approach it
alone
This is all about
peaceful communication
Yes, Sir
Mr. President
Perimeter stable
Got a vis on Papa Bear, all clear
Commander
Do something violent
You heard the president
??
?? down here.
Call in air support. Call in air support
Call in... hmmm
Call in a full retreat
Full retreat, full retreat
All troops
?? Papa Bear is on the move
No, wait
So that's how you
wanna play it?
Eat lead
alien ??
Evidently they eat lead
-Get him on the chopper
I'm brave
I'm a brave president
...own approved goverment
... only have about two weeks left
If that think walks into a populated area
there will be a major catastrophe
We need our top scientific minds on this
Get India on the phone
if we transport the US
to a safer planet...
I say we give this alien a green card
and make him proud to be an American
Sir thy times like this when I stop
and ask myself: what would Oprah do?
?? it all
What's the point?
It's a disaster
Stop sir - Don't do it
Stop, no!
That button lauches all
of our nuclear missiles
Well then, which button
gets me a latte?
Ahh... That would be
the other one, Sir
What idiot designed this thing?
You did, Sir
Fair enough
Wilson, fire somebody
Listen up!
I'm not going to go down in history
as the president who was in office
when the world came to an end
so somebody think of something and think of it fast
That's a good
Capu-ccio
Mr. President
Not only do I have an idea
but I have a plan
Now conventional weapons
have no effect on this thing
and we all know
nukes ain't an option
Sure they are. Press..
-No, no, no the button, wait!
I'm not gonna kid you, Mr. President
These are dark times
The odds are against us
We need a Hail Mary pass
We need raw power, we need...
Monsters
Monsters
Of course
It's so simple
I...
I'm not following you
Over the last 50 years I have captured monsters on the rampage
and locked them up in a secret prison facility
So secret that the mere mention of its name
is a federal offense
Is he referring to area fifty...
Mr. President, say hello to
Insecta-Saur
Miss Ronson
please
Nuclear radiation, turned him from a small grub
into a 350' tall monster, that attacked Tokyo
Here we have
The Missing Link
A 20.000 years old frozen fishman
Who was ?? out by scientists
He escaped, and went on a rampage
in his old watering ??
This handsome fellow
is Dr.Cockroach Ph.D.
The most brilliant man in the world
He invented a scientific machine
that would give humans
the cockroache's ability to survive
Unfortunately
there was a side effect
Now, we call this thing BOB
Can we get her out of here?
Thank you
A genetically altered tomato was combined with a
chemically altered ranch-flavor dessert topping at a snack food plant
The resulting goo gained consciousness
and became an indistructible gelatinous mass
And our latest addition
Ginormica
General, contine
Her entire body radiates with pure energy
giving her enormous strength and size
Sir, these monsters are our best
and only chance to defeat that robot
Don't we already have an
Alien problem, General
I don't think we need
a monster problem too
You got a better idea
nerd?
Ok
Stay where you are
General, I propose we go forward
with your monsters vs aliens idea, thank you
Go fish
Do...you...
have...any...
three's?
Yes, I do. How are you doing this?
You are the luckiest guy I know
Luck ain't got nothing to do with it
What the ...?
Hey
They called me crazy
but I'll show them
I'll show them all
Dr, I'd prefer you didn't do your mad scientist laugh
while I'm hooked up to this machine
You're right
Insecto
You've been letting that quak
experiment on you for over a month
I'm not a quak
I'm a mad scientist
There's a difference
Guys
What choice do I have?
If he can make me normal
or even 6'8", I can get out of here
get back to the life
I'm supposed to have
I mean, I should be...
-Let me guess: Fresno?
Well, Fresno is just
a steppin'stone
Next stop: Milwaukee, and then New York
and then someday hopefully
Yeah, we know:
Paris
Throw the switch, Dr.
But don't do the laugh
Now, you'll feel a slight
pinch in the brain
Sorry
Susan!
Yuuhuu!
am I small again?
I'm afraid not
my dear
In fact
You may actually have grown
a couple of feet
It's ok, Doc
We'll try again tomorrow
You really don't get it
Do you?
No monster
has ever gotten out of here
That's not true
The invisible man did
No he didn't. We just told you that
so you wouldn't get upset
He died of a heart attack
Nooo !
Yeah
In that very chair
he still there?
you see what I'm saying?
Nobody is leaving, nobody is ever getting out
Good news, monsters
You are getting out
Until today
So let me get this straigh
Monguer
You want us to fight
an alien robot
And in exchange, the president of the US
has authorized me to grant you your freedom
Ah!
I can't believe it!
Soon I'll be back in Derek's arms
Or him in mine
I can't wait for Spring Break
back at Cocoa Beach just...
freaking everybody out
And I'll go back to my lab
and finally finish my experiments
No, no
That's me, Bob
Then I'll be a...
really giant lady
That's Susan, Bob
Fine, then I'll go back to Modesto
and be with Derek
ya.. still Susan, Bob
I think I at least
deserve a chance to be with Derek
All right
Let's go
Everybody move in an orderly fashion
This is an emergency
We are evacuating the city
Exact change is appreciated but not necessary
Let's move out!
This is San Francisco !
This ins't far from my home
Feel the wind on your antennas
Isn't this wonderful?
I haven't been outside in 50 years
It's amazing out here
It's a little hotter than I remember
Has the Earth gotten warmer?
That'd be great to know that
it'd be a very convinient truth
Now, that'a
a robot!
It's huge
Try not to damage it too much, Monsters
I may want to bring it back to the farm
No, no, wait
You didn't say anything about it being huge
Wait
No, don't leave
I think he sees us
Hello, hey!
How are you doing?
Welcome
We are here to destroy you
I can't fight that thing
I can't even...
I...
I'm hyperventilating
Does anybody have
a giant paper bag?
Relax
Old link has this under control
-Hide in the city, Susan, you'll be safe there
but stay away from the Tenderloin
It's a little shady??
Finally, some action
I'm gonna turn that oversized tin can into a
really dented oversize tin can
OK
Does anybody have a 20 on Insect-a-Saur's
Wow, would you look at
the size of that?
??
I got it, you guys
I got...
Don't worry, I won't let go
I'm wearing it down...
??
he's slowing down
Get to the city, Link
I'll catch up with you as soon as I can
Or maybe...
You'll have to catch up with me
No!
No!
OK, ok
I got this
Yeap
That hurt
Get in
I have a plan
Hot dogs!
All right, Link. I'm going to pull up alongside it
You get up in there, get into its central processing unit and...
Hey, guys
Catch me!
Let's go, let's go keep it moving
Hey, no honking
Excuse me
moving out
on your right...
no control
Oh, no
OK
It's gonna be OK
Look, I have to get you out of there
Hold on a second
You have to get off the bridge
before ...
Help!
No, no, no !
Get away from me!
Coming through
?? watch it
Hey, furrball
Where've you been?
Yeah, I know
I'm just a little out of shape
Excuse me, he is trying to kill me
Why is he doing that, why...?
Wow
Wow!
You are doing great!
I'm doing
everything!
Not for long. Come on, you guys
Let's take this thing down
A deflector shield
Tipical
You can't crush
a cockroach
Right, right, right
Here we go
Insect-a-Saur
Insect-a-Saur
BOB !
-What?
Help me!
Sorry, I was just staring
at this bird over there
We have to get these people
off the bridge
Got it
No Bob
Move the conveyors
Oh, yes, you're right
My bad
Go, go
go, go
Link!
Oh, I don't feel good
Ok, Susan
You can do that
All right
Let's take this thing down
Retreival has failed
Don't get upset
It happens to everyone
That lower life form
Think she can steal my Quantonium?
Send another probe
at once
Quantonium
can not be retrieved via robot
Carbon-based life form, locally known as Susan
is now too strong
Oh, you think because
you are all big and strong...
..and you can destroy my robot probe
that you're gonna send me running and hiding?
My days of running and hiding
are over
Computer; set the course to Earth
I will retrieve the Quantonium myself
Even if I need to rip it out of her body
one cell at a time
Be careful
It's hot
a giant alien robot, I would've said: no can't do
but I did it! Me! I'm so buzzing
I mean, did you see how strong I was?
There probably isn't a jar in this world
I can't open
You were possitively heroic
my Dear
I specially loved
how you saved all those people on the bridge
it was a nice touch
Wasn't she amazing, Link?
Yeah, she was great. Really cool
Loved it
Poor Link. After all that tough talk you were
?? by a girl
Con razn ests deprimido
Hey, I'm not depressed
I'm tired
Why are you tired?
You didn't do anything
Well, I haven't been sleeping well, alright?
I get sleepne-apness
Apne.., apnea... Whatever
It's not fun
So Link is a little rusty
I mean, sleep deprived
You'll be back to your old self in no time
And so will I
What happened to that
"There isn't a jar in the world I can't open" stuff?
Wait. Did you find a jar you can't open? What was in it?
Was it pickles in it? Where's the gigant jar of pickles?
What my associate is trying to say is that
we all think the new Susan is the cat's me-wow
Lo siento
Thanks you guys
That is so sweet
But I have a normal life waiting for me
You know?
So tell me exactly how this normal life thing works
with you being giant and all
I'm not gonna be a giant forever
Derek won't rest
until we find a cure for my...
condition
We're a team
We can all do with a Derek
Perhaps some day we can make his acquaintance
Really?
You guys wanna meet Derek?
First stop: Modesto
Ginormica, I called your family
to let them know you coming home
Now I also called the Modesto PD
told them not to shoot at you
Thanks
General
Ok, remember
These people aren't used to seeing anything like...
You. Or you...
Or you...
So just be... you know, cool
Just be, you know? Follow my lead
Stop. That was an accident!
Don't destroy anything
Susan?
Susie ??
Mom?
Daddy?
Did they
experiment on you?
No, mom
I'm fine
xxxx
It's ok
They are with me
These are my new friends
Oh, Derek
I missed you so much
?? thought we'd be
together again
just ?? hope through prison. I love you
I love this man
No, BOB
That's my mother
You're sofocating her !
Honey
Are you alright?
I taste ham
Sorry, mom
He is just a hugger
Where's Derek?
He is at work, swetie
You know how he is
about his career
Well, we are not gonna celebrate
without him
Susan, what do I do
with all your little friends?
Just put out some snacks
They'll eat anything
Oh, ambrosia!
How're you all?
??
friends
Way to ??
Insecto
Who wants to go
for a swim with The Link?
Hi, I'm Benzoate Ostylezene Bicarbonate
Or you can call me BOB
Whichever is easier
Do I come on too strong?
I'm sorry, I'm a little rusty
?? I've been in prison my whole life
Why I mentioned prison?
Oh, I didn't mean to scare you
I'm just gonna go
Ah, I feel so stupid
Everyone just stay calm
Whatever you do, do not provoke them
Anyone cares for atomic gin fizz?
It's got quite a ...
Kick
Clorine, clorine
Clorine in my eyes
??!
Everyone
Run for your lives!
What are they running away from?
...that's hilarious, Jim
That's exactly the kind down home country humor
I'm gonna miss when I'm in Fresno
This is Derek Dietl
signing off for the very last time
Good night...
Modesto!
Channel 172
And...
Cut!
Did you like that sign off?
Just made it up
Oh, my goodness!
wait, wait, wa...it!
Oh, Derek!
You wouldn't believe my last 3 weeks
Just wouldn't believe it
Thinking about you
was the only thing that kept me sane
...Can't breath!
Oh, my gosh
Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry
Oh my god
Is that better?
OK
OK
I'm just still kind of
getting used to my new strength
Wow, you really
are big
Yeah, but I'm still me
I'm still the same girl you fell in love with
Except you did just
destroyed the Golden Gate bridge
Well, that was the only way
I was gonna stop that giant robot
Did you ever think I could do something like that?
-No, I didn't
I can honestly say that it never ever, ever, ever
ever, ever ever occurred to me
I know this is a little weird... Ok, it's a lot weird
But we'll figure it out
I know that togethe
we can find a way to get me back to normal
Susan, try to look at this
from my perspective
I have an audience that depends on me for
news, weather, sports and heartwarming fluff pieces
So you expect me to put all that on hold
while you try to undo this thing that happened to you?
That I had absolutely nothing
to do with?
Yes
That's exactly what I expect
What about the life we always talked about?
Don't you still want that?
Of course
I just, don't see...
don't see how
I can have that with your
Derek
Please...
Don't do this
You have to face facts
Susan
And don't crush me for saying this, but I'm not looking to get married
and spend the rest of my life on someone else's shadow
and you're casting
a pretty big shadow
Lo siento
It's over
Good luck
Susan
Leaving Modesto
Wow, what a shindig!
Your parents really know
how to throw it down
That was a.. great party.
One of the best I've been to, since I got out of prison
I must have been at a different party
'cos that's not how I interpreted it at all
I don't think your parents liked me
and I think that Jello gave me a fake phone number
Well, at least the garbage was free
and...
Who are we kidding?
We could save every city in the planet and they'd still
treat us the same way they've always treated us
Like monsters
Right, monsters
Anyway, how...
How is Derek?
Derek...
is a selfish jerk
No!
-Yes!
All that talk about "us"
I'm so proud of "us"
"Us just got a job in Fresno
It was no "us"
It was only Derek
Why did I have to get hit by a meteor
to see that?
Idiot!
Why did I ever think life with Derek
would be so great anyway
I mean, look at all the stuff
I've done without him
Fighting an alien robot?
That was me, not him
And that was amazing
Meeting you guys
Amazing
Dr. Cockroach
You can crawl up walls and...
build a supercomputer out of a pizza box
two cans of hair spray and..
And a paper clip
Amazing!
And you, you hardly need an introduction
You are the Missing Link!
You personally carried 250 coeds off Cocoa Beach
and still have the strength to fight the national guard
And the Coast Guard
and also the Life Guards
Amazing
Bob, who else could fall from unimaginable heights
and end up without a single scratch?
Link?
You!
Amazing!
Point Insecto
Susan, don't shortchange yourself
Oh, I'm not gonna shortchange myself
ever again
??
Susan!
Way to go
Insecto!
Insecto
look out!
Insect-a-Saur
Nooo!
It's gonna be alright
Look at me
Don't you close those eyes
Don't you dare close those eyes
You can't ...
Mom?
You must be terrified
You wake up in a strange place
wearing strange clothes
Imprisioned by a strange being
floating on a strange hovering device
Strange
Isn't it?
Hardly
It's not the first time
Wow
You really get around
To the extraction chamber
Look
what do you want from me?
You have stolen
what is rightfully mine
I didn't steal anything from you?
Your enormous grotesque body contains Quantonium
The most powerful substance in the universe
Did you really think
you could keep it from me?
That's what this is all about? You destroyed San Francisco
You terrified millions of people...
You killed my friend
just to get to me?
Silence
Your voice is grinding
in my ear nobs
It's a shame you won't be around to see
what the power of Quantonium can do
in the tentacles of someone
who knows how to use it
I know how to use it
Just...
Don't bother
That force field is impenetrable...
What the flagnog!
Ha! That should stop
your puny...
Computer
Close door hangar 2
Close door hangar 3
?? close 4
Close them all!
Computer
Begin extraction
Finally, I can rebuild my civilization
on a new planet
Any thoughts on where I should
set up shop?
Your planet, perhaps?
-You keep your slimy tentacles off my planet
If you wanted to stop me
you should've done it when you possessed the Quantonium
Now you are nothing
There's innocent people down there
who didn't do anything
There were innocent people on my home planet
before it was destroyed
Look I'm soory your planet
was destroyed
Oh, don't be
I'm the one who destroyed it
Confused?
After I reveal my tale to you
everything will become crystal clear
Computer
Initialize cloning machine
Yes
Gallahxar
Many centons ago
when I was but a squid
I found out my parents were...
No child should ever
have to endure that
So I went on the road with a giant...
And soon thereafter
was married
Things were going well
until she wanted to...
and then I was all: "no way"
and she was all: "yes way" and I was like...
But I told you
too much already
Let the birth of my new planet
now called
Gallahxar's Planet
begin!
Once again, an UFO
has landed in America
The only country
UFOs ever seem to land in
..excuse me...what's that, ??
okey-dokey
We now take you live to a transmission
from the alien's spacecraft
Humans of Earth
I have come in peace
You need not fear me
I mean you no harm
However, it's important to note
most of you will not survive the next 24 hours
though those of you who do survive
will be slaved and experimented on
You shouldn't take any of this personally
it's just business
So, just to recap:
I come in peace,I mean you no harm
and you all will die - Gallahxar's out
Ok, boys, set the terror level at
code brown 'cos I need to change my pants
What are we gonna do now
Doc?
I don't know
I'll tell you what we are gonna do
We are not gonna let
Insecto die in vain
We are gonna get up there, find Susan
and we're gonna take that alien down
Alright gentlemen. You got enough juice in those jetpacks to get up there
but not enough to make it home
I'll come get ya if I can
aif I don't, it means I'm death
or late
I've been your guardian
por close to 50 years
But that's no longer the case
For what it's worth
That's rude
What did we do?
No, Bob, that's not rude
That's a sign of respect
General, it's targeting us
-That's the idea, Lieutenant. Hold your course
Steady, steady
Hard right, hard right
Hard right!
I can't shake it
I can't shake it
Hang on to your socks
We are going for a ride
That's why I always
wear a parachute, Lieutenant
You can let go of me now
Lieutenant
Who are you signaling? We are over here
-Hey, zip it
You
-Hail, Gallahxar
No, no, not all of you
You, there
How do I do this?
Three back. No, no, no
That guy, next to you
The one I'm pointing at
You the one ....you clon
Yes, good
Take the prisoner to the incinerator
She is useless to us now
Hail, Gallahxar
Hail me
Wow
Ginormica isn't so...
ginormic any more
How are we supposed to get to her?
There's too many of them
It's impossible
I may not have a brain, gentlemen
But I have an idea
This is not gonna work
Halt!
I
Gallahxar, command you to hand over
the prisoner this instant
Clearly you are defective
beyond repair
Guards, take this defective clon
to the incinerator
Well, what are you waiting for?
You and you!
What, seriously?
Take the prisoner
and the defective clon to the incinerator
Ah, of course
Sir
and here's the security pass
just in case
Would you like a gun?
-Yes I would
Hey, guys
Look
I can't believe you guys
came to save me. Thank you
Don't mention it
We monsters got to stick together
But I'm not a monster anymore
I'm just... me
My dear, no matter what your size
you'll always be...
nothing but a filthy
carbon based lifeform
Hail, Gallahxar
These disguises
are the bomb!
That's it
Follow me
The only way to save the...(Hail Gallaxhar)
-Hail Gallahxar
The only way to save...(Hail Gallaxhar)
-Hail Gallahxar
The only way to save the earth, is to blow up this ship before the invasion (Hail Gallaxhar)
Hail Gallahxar before the invasion starts
So, how are we gonna do this?
-We need to find the main power core
Excuse me, could you direct usr
to the main power core?
Gladly, it's right there
above the extraction chamber
Thank you very much
Hail Gallaxhar
Watch out!
-Wow, look out brainless
Give me that thing
Weapon like this needs to be
in the hands of somebody responsable
What?
Hail, Galaxar?
Monsters
-(Monsters)
Monsters?
Atention, all aliens
Destroy all monsters
You want some of this?
You wanna hurt my friend
you'll have to go through me
Oh, yeah
Looks like we made it
OMG
-Good morning, intruder
You'll never figure out
my color code
A hexadecimal colorcode system
This won't be but a moment
Red green blue yellow orange baby blue
purple pink brown mocca avocado ...
Doc, come on!
Dance
Your ?? timed dance moves
are no match for my security protocols
We can't hold them off
much longer
One thing you don't know
about me, my dear
My... Ph.D....
is in... dance
Security protocol breached
Ship has been set to self-destruct
Total annihilation
in T minus 6 minutes
What? Launch the invasion them
-Invasion no longer possible
Oh, Space ?? Divert the Quantonium to the bridge
and prepare my escape capsule
Look at that. They're all running scared
Monsters win
I don't think that's
why they're running
Ship will self desturct
in T minus 5 minutes
Hail Gallahxar
We are not gonna make it
Hang on
That's no use
It won't budge
If I was still Ginormica
I could do this
Susan
Get out of here while you still got the chance
No, don't say that
I'm not leaving you guys
Yes you are ?? with Monguer
He is outside the ship, waiting for you
Go
while there's still time
Ship will self destruct
in T minus 4 minutes
Don't you worry about us, Susan
You finally have the chance to get your old life back
I don't want
my old life back
They think they stopped me?
They stopped nothing
female carbon based lifeform or "Susan"
not contained
Attention robot probes
Crash the earthling
Robot bay
has been destroyed
Fire phaseoid's cannon
Are you crazy?
You could've killed me!
Then we understand each other
Now, open the doors
and let my friends go
Or what?
You don't actually think
you are a match for me, do you?
Quantonium has been
successfully diverted to bridge
Escape capsule
ready for transport
Like I told you before you should've
defeated me when you had the Quantonium
Have fun
exploding
Now, open the doors!
Even if I wanted to
I couldn't
That's what happens
when you set the ship to self-destruct
Now we're all gonna die
And there's nothing
you can do about it
Susan ...
I wouldn't be so sure
And the name
is Ginormica
Annihilation
in T minus 1 minute
It's been an honor knowing you, Doc
-The feeling is mutual, my friend
I'll see you guys tomorrow
For lunch
That's right, Bob
-There'll be candy, cake, balloons
Cake and balloons
for lunch?
It's got to be the best day ever
I love you guys
??
Total annihilation
in T minus 30 seconds
Where's Monguer?
He's supposed
to be here
He said the only reason he wouldn't be here
is if he was dead
Or late
Insect-a-Saur
You're alive!
... and you're a butterfly
(3, 2, 1)
-Come on, come on
Hmm, nothing happened
Maybe my count...
Oh, great
Oh, boy!
Susie-??
Daddy!
-Oh, Susan
Ever since you were a baby
I knew that some day
you would, you know, save the Earth
from an invasion from outer space
Thank you
but it wasn't just me, mom
Excuse me. Hello
Coming through. How are you?
Susan!
Derek?
Baby, I thought long and hard
about what happened between us
And I want you to know
I forgive you
You forgive me
Of course it wasn't your fault you got hit by a meteor
and ruined everything and, you know what?
I say maybe you didn't ruin everything
I just got a call from New York. They offered me network
All I have to do
is get an exclusive interview from you
Really?
Yeah, I get my dream job
and you get your dream guy
It's a win-win for team Dietl
Derek
that's amazing
Is the camera rolling?
Absolutely ...
Good, because I wouldn't want
your fans out there to miss this
This is Susan Murhpy
saying
Goood byeee Derek
Bob, could you...?
Derek, you are a selfish jerk
And you know what?
I've met someone else. She's lime green
she has 14 little chunks of pineapple inside of her
and she is everything I deserve in life
I'm happy now, Derek
without you. It's over
Monsters
I'm so proud of you I could cry
if I hadn't lost my tear ?? in the war
But not crying, will have to wait
The world needs you again
What is it, General?
Seems a snail fell into a
French nuclear reactorl
As we speak, Scargetua
is slowly making its way to Paris
Well, I've always wanted
to go to Paris
Now, who's with me?
What do you say
Butter-Fly-Sauros?
We're in
I'm in!
-Count me in, too
Aurvoir, sweetie
Have a safe flight
Yeah
And hang on
Goodbye, Derek
Good luck getting over me
Ahh, Bob. It's me he's
never gonna get over
Wait
You were dating Derek too?
That two-timing jerk!