Mother Krampus 2: Slay Ride (2018) Movie Script
1
(KNOCKS ON DOOR)
Hello.
Anybody here?
I need some assistance here.
Hold on, I'm coming.
Hold on.
- Hi.
- Hi!
Oh, give it to me.
Can I help you with somethin'?
Yeah, give me
one second, please.
- Can you take this one for me?
- Yeah, sure.
Thank you so much.
Hope I didn't leave
you out there too long.
Oh, no, not at
all. Not at all.
- Thank you very much.
- Oh, you're welcome.
Wow, look at all this stuff.
Okay.
I'm so tired.
I can't believe
you were actually
able to get a flight so
last minute, you know?
Oh, me too.
When I heard you were comin'
in on such short notice
I thought, there's no way.
That had to cost
an arm and a leg.
Actually it wasn't that bad.
Niko's family had a lot of the
frequent flier miles saved up,
so, they just gave 'em to us.
That stupid Niko.
Let me, I'll be right back.
Hey, baby.
Eileen's in here.
Would you mind comin' in
and helpin' her with the
groceries real quick?
Alright, baby, I'll be
there in a second, okay?
Let me just finish chopping
these logs, alright?
Okay, but hurry.
We need a big,
strong man in here.
(LAUGHS)
Will do, babe.
Will do.
Man, you're fucking whipped.
He'll be in in just a
second to give you a hand.
(SIGHS)
(BELLS CHIME)
(COUGHS)
(TENSE MUSIC)
(CLATTERING NOISES)
Hello?
Hello?
(DOG BARKS)
(HIT THUDS)
(COUGHS)
(AX THUDS AGAINST FLESH)
You gotta watch that step!
That last one's a doozy.
You better lay off the eggnog.
Yeah, I would have to say so.
Thank you for your help.
I could've swore there were
more decorations, though.
Did you check the attic yet?
That's what I was thinkin'.
Well, let's go
look. I'll help.
No, no, no, no, no.
You just focus on
what you have to do,
and I'll get Niko to
help me with this.
Where the hell is he, anyway?
(TENSE MUSIC)
Oh, there he is.
Maybe he didn't hear
us in the basement.
You know, I'm gonna go
catch him real quick
and get him to help me
with the decorations.
Okay, I have to get
dinner going anyway.
Alright, well, we'll
be right back down,
so, if you need
anything, let us know.
Will do.
(TENSE MUSIC)
Niko, what's your problem?
You left the door wide open.
And while you're up there,
can you grab the
Christmas ornaments?
Well, are you gonna
answer me or not?
Seriously, Niko, I don't
know what your problem is.
(DOOR CREAKS OPEN)
Niko?
Niko?
(GLASS SHATTERS)
(SCREAMS)
(GAGS)
No!
No. No!
No. No!
(CHRISTMAS MUSIC)
(DOOR CREAKS OPEN)
(BELL CHIMES)
(CHRISTMAS MUSIC)
(CLATTERING)
Monica?
(THUMPING)
Martha, are you okay?
Monica, can you check
on your grandma for me?
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
Martha?
Martha?
(KNOCKS ON DOOR)
It's Eileen, are you okay?
Sweetheart, what's
going on with you?
(TENSE MUSIC)
(GROANS)
Oh my God, sweetheart.
Stay calm, stay calm.
It's alright, I'm gonna
go get you some help.
Just stay right there,
I'm gonna get you
some help, okay?
(SCREAMS)
(CHRISTMAS MUSIC)
(COUGHS)
Dude, you got some real balls
smokin' that shit while
you're still on probation.
Oh, whatever, man.
It's like our last day.
It's cause to celebrate.
(BELLS CHIME)
Hey, there's Victoria.
Victoria.
Right on time, as usual.
Yeah, she's lame.
She's not lame. She's normal.
She's a sweet kid.
Dude, she's a fucking
asshole. (LAUGHS)
Alright, alright, wrap it up.
Let's go. I don't wanna be late.
And the last thing
that I want to do
is two more weeks of this shit.
One pm, ladies.
Cutting it a little
close, don't ya think?
Look, can you cut us
some slack, it's Christmas.
Of course, merry
Christmas girls.
Now, it's freezing and
my aunt is really busy,
so, I'm gonna make this quick.
You ladies have done
a wonderful job.
I have had no complaints,
and that's huge.
You still have a job to do.
Only eight hours more
and your community
service will be done.
So, let's get in there and
give my aunt some help, okay?
(OVERLAPPING CONVERSATION)
Oh, would you look at that?
They really pulled out
all the stops this year.
I bet you that dollar
store made a killing
on all that tacky garland.
Stop it, Athena.
This is a homeless
shelter, not a drag show.
We'll see about that.
So, what am I doing?
Cooking, cleaning,
spoon feeding the old people?
What's my job?
PAULA: That's not up to
me, you have to ask Noelle.
Who's Noelle?
NOELLE: Merry
Christmas, everyone!
Question answered.
Oh, hi!
Hi!
Oh, girls, you have no idea
what your being
here means to us.
We're so excited.
Stop it, Athena.
Oh, what, look at
me. I'm so excited.
Now, come with me and I'll
give each one of you a task.
Oh, this is going
to be so much fun!
I just can't wait.
Have fun, ladies.
Aunt Nancy.
My baby, oh, it's
so good to see you.
BOTH: Merry Christmas!
Thank you.
Listen, Paula.
We really, really appreciate
you helpin' us out.
You're saving out butts.
Those extra hands are gonna
make a world of difference.
Well, they won't be the most
cheerful faces in the room.
But, they'll get the work done.
Speaking of,
I was wondering if you could
keep an eye on them for me?
I have a little
Christmas errand to run,
and I won't be long. I'll
be back before you know it.
Um, well, maybe.
I mean, I'll do what I can,
but, it's a madhouse out there.
They should be okay,
I don't see them getting
into too much trouble
at this point.
Okay.
Thank you!
- I'll be right back, okay?
- Okay.
Well, ladies, I'm sorry to say
there's just one last task and
it happens to be
the least glamorous.
As you can see,
we have lots of dishes
that need to be washed.
But, if you try to move through
them as quick as you can
and then we can move you
onto something less messy.
Okay?
Alright, so there's
sponges and there's soap,
and it looks like
you should be good.
Ladies, bless your hearts.
Such a big help.
You don't even know.
Okay, so, I'll be back soon.
Awesome.
Merry frickin' Christmas.
I'll scrape, you rinse?
Whatever, let's just
get this over with.
(CHRISTMAS MUSIC)
(OVERLAPPING CONVERSATIONS)
(COUGHS)
Alright, guys.
There's not a whole lot
of strawberries left,
so just take one, okay?
Yo!
I know you're homeless and shit,
but don't go gettin' greedy.
One each.
So, it's really cool
that your mom has your
back like she does.
I wish mine were like that.
First conviction, she was out.
Yeah.
I'm really grateful that she
understands the situation.
I mean, I think that she knows
that I wouldn't do
something like that.
But, I couldn't just let my
friend go down, you know?
She doesn't have anybody
to support her like I do.
You're a good kid, Victoria.
You definitely
don't belong here.
But, hey.
You put all this
shit behind ya today
and bounce back from it.
Unlike most of us.
Gracie, don't talk like that.
This doesn't have to
be your whole life.
You can change it if
you really want to.
Easier said than done.
Believe me.
Here, take these to Athena.
(TENSE MUSIC)
Mamma's thirsty.
Mamma's thirsty.
Mm, mm, mm.
I can't believe
we're doing this.
Oh, calm down.
It's not like we're
skipping class, Candace.
We're on probation.
For Christ's sakes.
The place was so busy that
nobody's gonna notice we're gone.
Honestly, Victoria,
it's perfectly fine.
We do this every
year. It's tradition.
Alright, ladies.
Bottom's up.
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
Ho, ho, ho.
(LAUGHTER)
Mm.
Oh, you are just too slow.
Open up, there we go.
Like the Holland
Tunnel, come on.
Woo, that a girl.
Jesus.
Of all the bars, that
douche bag had to come here.
Jaxx, my friend
over here is thirsty.
She's parched, and she
needs a cold beverage ASAP.
Come on. Thank you.
We're gonna make you
one of the girls.
I got a whole bunch of drinks
lined up for you, yes I do.
Who's that bitch
that he's with?
I'm gonna go talk to him.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
wait a second.
Seriously, you wanna
go down that path?
Yeah, I do, just keep your
mouth shut, alright, Gracie?
I'll be fine.
Famous last words.
Excuse me, ma'am.
It's not polite to
glare at the customers.
Back off.
Babe.
Can I talk to you for a minute?
What's up?
Alone.
Harley, can you do us a
favor and grab us a few beers.
Sure thing, babe.
Babe?
What?
We're just chillin',
no big deal.
No big deal?
Shit, I thought
we were on a break,
and you're out with
some little whore.
Look, Candace, you and I
both agreed we needed a break.
Take a break, not
see other people.
Your stripper drama
really gets to me, okay.
Oh, my stripper drama?
Yes, yours. Uh-huh.
You're a headcase, and
you're hard to deal with.
What did I do?
You're a headcase, do you hear
yourself talking right now?
- Donny.
- Look, look.
Can you just go.
You are so full of shit.
I think that's all
you ever do, Donny.
You just walk out all the
time, you're such an asshole.
Wait, wait, Donny. Donny,
please don't go yet.
Look, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, okay.
I just don't wanna see
you out with other girls.
Well, I really wasn't
expecting to see you here.
I thought you had that
probation thing going on.
It's our last day, so
we're out celebrating.
Hey, I'm in the
middle of somethin'.
Can you talk with
your girlfriends?
Impressive.
You know how I roll, Candace.
All it takes it the
right incentive.
Stop.
You're just a frickin' drug
dealer with a big dick.
You know it.
Well, pretty soon I'm gonna
be a rich drug dealer.
What are you talking about?
Come on, I got you somethin'.
I feel so much better.
I bet.
Frickin' Jaxx is
tryin' to get you drink
and take advantage of you.
Are you ready, we
gotta go find Candace?
Who was that guy she was with?
Donny.
That douche bag is her
on-again off-again ex.
He's such an a-hole.
Then why is she
still with him?
Candace has daddy issues.
Most dancers do, kind of the MO.
She's a stripper?
We prefer dancer.
Oh, I'm sorry.
You're a dancer too?
At one time, yes. Not anymore.
I don't think I could
ever do something like that.
No offense, they
would eat you alive.
You are way too innocent.
(MOANING)
(SNIFFS)
(SNIFFS)
(COUGHS)
Shit!
I gotta get back to the girls.
Really, six more hours
of this bullshit left
and then I'm done.
You need a lift?
Yeah, sure.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
Ladies, oh my goodness,
where have you been?
I've been looking
everywhere for you,
and where's your friend Candace?
Candace.
About Candace, actually,
she is in the bathroom.
She ate some of that meatloaf
that you've been serving,
and I just have the feeling like
it didn't sit with
her very well.
Yeah, she's been on the
pot for about 45 minutes.
And I actually think that she
might have the same problem,
that's why she can't stand up.
Oh dear, not another one.
Seems to be a trend today.
So, we're here.
What did you want us to do?
Right now, why
don't you just see
if you can find a way
to entertain the crowds.
I know, you could sing!
Sing?
Attention,
attention everybody.
Now, I know we're all
a little bit busy.
However, three of
our lovely workers
are here to help
spread the holiday joy.
So, everybody just
sit back and enjoy,
while they perform for
you a stunning rendition
of one of your favorite
Christmas carols.
What are we singing?
Well, the First
Noel of course.
Of course.
Ready.
The first noel
The angels did say
Was to certain poor shepherds
in fields as they lay
Hold the phone.
If we're gonna do this,
Mamma needs a little more tempo.
(HIP HOP MUSIC)
Kiss me underneath
the mistletoe
Bring all the things
that I ask for
'Cause I'm feelin'
really naughty tonight
Santa, baby can you get
me what I really need
I'll be the angel on top
of your Christmas tree
Uh-Oh, and I'm feelin'
really naughty tonight
Watch the ladies go
Jingle like that,
girl, jingle like that
Jingle like that,
girl, jingle like that
See me on top, baby
Say I'm not behaving
Jingle like that,
girl, jingle like that
Jingle like that,
girl, jingle like that
Sit on top, baby
Say I'm not behaving
La de da de da,
la de da de da
It's gonna be a
naughty Christmas
Have a naughty,
naughty Christmas
Have a naughty,
naughty Christmas
Everybody now
La de da de da,
la de da de da
It's gonna be a
naughty Christmas
Have a naughty,
naughty Christmas
Have a naughty,
naughty Christmas
I only got one
Christmas wish
To be the only
girl on your list
What is going on?
Now, stop this!
That'll be enough of this.
Oh my goodness.
That's enough.
Get off that stage right now.
Jingle like that,
girl, jingle like that
Jingle like that,
girl, jingle like that
Sit on top, baby
Say I'm not behaving
No point taking your
coats off, girls.
I need you to handle
the deliveries tonight.
Wait a second.
Don't you have to come with us?
I can't leave here like this,
I mean, look at this place.
I'm sure Paula will understand.
Okay, here's a list of names
and addresses for you, okay?
Try not to spend more than
a half hour at each house.
I mean, just plate up the
food and clean up a little bit
and then move onto
the next house.
Okay, we don't wanna be
serving these folks cold food.
You know?
Got it.
I have got to
get going, girls.
You'll be okay?
We'll be fine.
Alright, good. Thanks.
Angels we have heard on high
Sweetly singing
o'er the plains
And the mountains in reply
Echoing their joyous strains
Gloria
In excelsis Deo
Gloria
In excelsis Deo
Merry Christmas.
Alright.
(DOG BARKS)
Look.
The window.
She's watching us.
Actually, I think
that's our next stop.
(BELL CHIMES)
MRS. SMITH: May I help you?
Hi, Mrs. Smith?
We're from the church
down the street.
We're here with your holiday
dinner. You were on the list.
MRS. SMITH: List?
I don't know anything
about a list.
I've already eaten.
Oh, wait, honestly.
We have to spend at
least a half hour here.
It's part of our duties.
So, if there's
anything you need done,
cleaning or whatever,
we're just here to help.
MRS. SMITH:
It's getting late.
We'll only stay until
our ride gets here,
and then we'll be on our way.
It won't be long.
Honestly.
MRS. SMITH: You
said half an hour?
If that.
Come inside, it's
cold out there.
Thank you so much.
Jesus, it's cold.
Okay.
So.
Oh, here's your food.
Oh, thank you.
Put it in the kitchen.
You know, I heard
you singing outside.
I was wondering, could you
do a carol just for me?
Yeah, I think so.
Do you guys wanna
do Silent Night?
Oh, that's one of
my absolute favorites.
Okay, are you guys ready?
Okay.
Silent night
Holy night
All is calm
All is bright
Round yon virgin,
mother, and child
Holy infant so
tender and mild
Trapped in here
with your rue
Locked in the same room
Thank you, dear.
Would you like to try
me for some cocoa?
Okay.
I can't, I'm on a cleanse.
Excuse me?
Fine, I'll drink
your damn cocoa.
Language.
Great.
Well, I guess it looks like
we're gonna be staying
here for a while.
For sure.
Has anyone heard from Candace?
Whoa, I forgot about her.
No.
I'll just need to call her.
I got it.
Okay.
I'm on it.
Dude, you are really
tempting fate tonight.
You're so lucky
Paula isn't here yet.
You need to move your ass.
I'll text you the address.
Hurry up.
Jesus.
You don't want your
cocoa to get cold, dear.
So, what kind of a boss
makes you work so late
on a Christmas eve?
Paula.
Our parole officer.
Parole officer?
Yeah, it's out last
night of community service.
That doesn't make your
efforts any less appreciated.
So, how's the cocoa?
It's delicious, thank you.
It's my own special recipe.
So, if you don't mind my asking,
tell me, what did you
do to get in trouble.
Oh, I got in trouble for
trying to suck a cop's dick
for cocaine.
Well, that would certainly
get you on the naughty list.
Honey, I am the naughty list.
That's not something
to be proud of, dear.
And what about you?
Are you as bad as your
flamboyant friend over there?
Theft.
I got caught shoplifting
at this new high
end store downtown.
I wasn't used to the layout.
I slipped up and I
got caught on that
stupid, high tech hidden camera.
I didn't get four
steps from that place
and those cops were
all over my ass.
Pigs.
Naughty, naughty.
Thou shalt not steal.
But, I suspect that's
a verse in a book
you're not familiar with.
And what about you?
You don't look like the type
to be running with
this kind of people?
What kind of stupid
mistake did you make?
It's just that.
A stupid mistake.
We all make them, dear.
I guess so.
My friend and I,
we were coming home from
a party on the East Side.
She drove, but, by the end
of the night she was drunk.
I didn't wanna risk her
gettin' behind the wheel,
so, I took the keys away.
Only thing was,
I was three months out from
getting my driver's license.
I guess the cop that
was behind me knew.
He pulled me over and
asked me for my ID and
I just didn't know what to say.
Not to mention that I had
a couple drinks myself.
It's just not really
one of those things
you can talk yourself out of.
Well, I think what you
did was very admirable.
I'm sure you won't be on
the naughty list this year.
(SIGHS)
So, you have a
very beautiful home.
How long have you lived
here, like, 500 years?
Thank you. All my life.
Why do you ask?
No reason, I'm just
tryin' to make small talk.
It really is a lovely house.
You're just what I needed
on a lonely Christmas Eve.
You don't have anybody
to spend Christmas with?
No.
I never married and I have
no children or grandchildren.
It's just me.
And the cats.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
Oh, don't be.
Listen, if that offer
of help is still good,
I could really use some help
cleaning up around here.
My knees were so bad I
couldn't get the floors
the way I wanted to this year.
We'd be happy to help.
Please tell me you have a mop.
And a broom.
Ooh, I bet she even
flew in on it, huh?
This is not my life.
You girls are doing
a very nice job.
I really love your tree.
Thank you, it's meant
to be appreciated.
This is a really
interesting doll.
Oh, that's not a doll, dear.
It's a precious antique.
Do you have a lot
of old decorations?
I suppose, up in the attic.
I'd really love to see them.
Do you think that we could
put more decorations
on your tree?
Honey, I can't climb up all
those stairs to the attic.
That's okay, Gracie can do it.
Alright, I'll show
her where the attic is.
Jeez.
It's not that one, dear.
Well, you have
so many damn doors.
In my father's house,
there are many mansions.
Okay, listen, no
offense or anything,
but could you save
the scripture quotes
for your penuchle friends?
It's not that one either.
What is that smell?
My cat.
She died last week,
and I haven't been able to
give her a proper burial.
So, put her in the trash.
I never.
Okay.
The attic is over here.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
I'm not goin' up
there, it's dark.
Light switch is on the right.
Hello?
Hey, I found your bulbs.
Hey, somebody's up here.
I have your balls.
Mrs. Smith, serious.
Hey.
Hello?
(KNOCKS ON DOOR)
Mrs. Smith, come on.
Athena, Victoria, I'm upstairs.
You guys, hey.
Mrs. Smith, come on, let me out!
Come on, this is not
funny, let me out of here.
Come on, let me out.
What the hell was that?
I don't know.
The door sticks sometimes.
Okay.
Well, I found your balls.
Thank you.
Alright, selfie time.
My new best friend.
Oh, I love you so much,
you're so horrible.
I don't think you
should be touching that.
Take a photo of us,
and I'll put him down.
Athena, put the Santa down.
What is your problem
with me touching Santa?
Not that I have a problem
with you touching Santa.
But, if you drop
it and it breaks,
then you're destroying
a precious antique.
Photo.
Could you, please.
Like that?
Yeah.
Good light?
How do I look?
Great?
You know, if I did drop
this thing and break it,
I'd be doin' the
old woman a favor.
He's disgusting.
(PHONE RINGS)
Hello?
Yeah, I'm just packing
up the car now.
Why, is something wrong?
Well, you had someone
escort them, right?
No, they can't be left
alone unchaperoned.
If they get in trouble,
that could be on me.
I know, I know, I
shouldn't have left.
I was just trying to
do something nice.
Look, I'll be there in a minute.
Thank you for calling
me and telling me.
I'll see you soon.
(KNOCKS ON DOOR)
(BELL CHIMES)
MRS. SMITH: Yes?
CANDACE: Hi.
MRS. SMITH: You
must be Candace.
That's me.
I should've known
from the outfit.
Hello.
That would give it
away, wouldn't it?
Well, fa la fucking la.
Donny Eight Ball.
Well, merry Christmas
to you too, Athena.
He's not gonna stay all night.
He's just coming in
to warm up, right?
Right?
Are you gonna go?
Yeah, of course.
May I get you a cup of cocoa?
(LAUGHS)
What's so funny?
Oh, well, no.
I mean, it's just been
a really long time
since anybody's
offered me cocoa.
(LAUGHS)
Can I talk to
you for a minute?
Oh, shit.
Jesus.
Look at me.
- Look at me.
- Alright.
Dude, you are high
as a kite right now.
I know.
What the hell
are you thinking?
You need to sober up right now,
because Paula is
on her way here.
You think she can tell?
Yeah. Go.
Go.
Get your hands off me.
Candace, go. You don't.
Bathroom?
First door on the left.
Thanks.
Hi, Paula.
Come in, we've got
a really cool lady.
I found you guys. Finally.
What is that?
Just a little ho, ho, ho.
Where are the other girls?
I don't know.
Mrs. Smith?
Paula, I want you to meet
the woman who lives here.
She's so sweet.
I just don't know
where she went.
Hey, Paula.
Hey, Gracie.
Where's Candace?
She spilled some
cocoa on her dress.
She wanted to get it
out before it stained.
Gracie, do you know
where Mrs. Smith went?
I have no idea. Maybe
she went upstairs.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
Hello, Candace.
Did you get the stain out?
Yeah, I think so. I'm good.
Well, listen. Now
that you all are here,
I just wanna get this over with.
I know this is the
complete opposite
of what I should
be doing right now,
but,
I really enjoyed out time
together, as I do every year.
And, even though this is
supposed to be a punishment,
I just wouldn't feel
right parting ways tonight
if I didn't give you
a little something.
You know, for the holidays.
I'm going to stop talking now.
Here.
I get way into the holiday.
I can't help it.
Merry Christmas, girls.
Oh, yes.
Oh.
No, seriously.
It's the first nice gift
I've received in a long time.
I love it.
PAULA: You must
be Mrs. Smith.
MRS. SMITH: Yes, and you?
I'm Paula. I'm the
girls' parole officer.
Being it's their last
day of probation,
I wanted to give them
their Christmas gifts.
I hope you don't mind.
No, of course not.
It's a very nice
necklace you have there.
Yeah.
It is nice getting a
gift from someone who's
not related to you.
I just like getting a gift.
One could only imagine.
May I get you a drink of water?
Yes, please, that
would be wonderful.
Baby.
Look.
What's wrong, Victoria?
I don't know, it's just that
Mrs. Smith was
just talking to us
about how she
didn't have anybody
to spend the holidays with, and
now that I think about it,
that probably means
that she doesn't have anyone
to give her a gift either.
I love the necklace,
Paula, it's beautiful.
I just feel guilty about
opening it in her house
without having something
for her as well.
Do you wanna run
out really quick
and grab a little
something for Mrs. Smith.
I'd love that, Paula.
Alright, well, let's do it
before she notices we've gone.
Alright, girls, you be good.
Bye, guys. We'll see you soon.
You are so lucky
Donny heard her coming.
If Paula would've
caught him here.
I know.
Donny, she's gone,
you can come down now.
Donny.
The hell is he doing up there?
I'm gonna go grab
him really fast.
Oh, Candace.
What?
That dead cat, first
door on the right.
Thanks.
I love Christmas.
It's just so
festive, so magical.
Yeah.
Christmas has been kind
of rough for my family
since my dad lost
his job at the mill.
We kind of stopped
celebrating Christmas.
We just couldn't afford it.
But, you get used to it.
I'm sorry, Victoria, I
didn't mean to bring it up.
No, no, it's okay. Honestly.
Gifts or not, I still
love this holiday.
It's not about the
presents anyway.
That's true.
But, it's always nice to know
that someone's thinking of you.
Yeah.
I know.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
Donny?
Donny?
Donny?
You in here?
- What is wrong with you?
- Sorry.
Jesus Christ.
Been walkin'
around this house.
You know, the lady
who owns this place?
I'm pretty sure she's nuts.
I heard her talkin' to
herself in the other room.
Yeah, there's something
not right about her.
Gracie told me that she's
got a dead, rotting cat
- up here somewhere.
- What?
Yeah, right.
That's weird.
- Batshit crazy.
- Yeah.
So.
Paula took Victoria to go
get that old lady a gift.
Really?
That was nice of her.
I thought so.
You know, that reminds
me of something.
What?
I got you a gift too.
You did?
And, what did you get me?
Close your eyes.
Let me guess. It's a
pair of panties, isn't it?
You know me too well.
I do.
Why don't you
slip them on for me?
Why don't you watch.
Ooh.
CANDACE: Do you like 'em?
Oh yeah.
(MOANS)
(ROCK MUSIC)
Silent night
Holy night
All is calm
All is right
Round yon virgin,
mother, and child
Holy infant so
tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
Do you want me to
put this in the sink?
Oh, that would be great.
Thank you, dear.
Are you hungry?
What are you cookin'?
Soup.
Not bad.
Bitch is crazy,
but she can cook.
Grab a bowl.
So, what kind of soup
are you makin' anyway?
Oh, this, it's an
old family recipe.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
MRS. SMITH: You can
clean up in the bathroom.
Everything okay?
I'll bring you something.
Give me the clothes.
I can put them in dryer. They'll
be ready in half an hour.
I'm so sorry.
Good timing.
Mama's gotta go shopping.
I thought she said she
didn't have any family.
Didn't you hear that noise?
Everything okay in there?
Sounds like you
had a little spill.
(MOANING)
Did you just come too?
Donny, you didn't pull out.
Yeah, I did.
You just came inside of me.
Donny, Jesus Christ, I'm
not on birth control.
You can't get me pregnant again.
Where'd I put that?
Come here.
Did you come, Donny?
Yeah, I did.
And I'll do it again.
She's gonna be forever.
(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)
(LAUGHTER)
(THUMPING)
Candace?
Everything okay?
(WATER DRIPS)
Oh, Santy Clause!
(LAUGHTER)
Baby, did you light
the candles for me?
That's really sweet.
I'm gonna borrow
your shirt, okay?
Do you have any more of that
shit from earlier that we did?
It was really good.
And I think we should
do some more of it.
Baby?
Donny, did you fall asleep?
(TENSE MUSIC)
Oh no.
(AX THUDS)
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
That's weird.
Okay. Coke is startin' to hit.
Oh.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh God.
I don't think this is coke.
Gracie?
(COUGHS)
Okay.
(GROANS)
(GAGS)
(GROANS)
Hello?
Hey, Mrs. Smith, are
my clothes dry yet?
Hello?
Hello?
Where the hell is everyone?
Athena?
Come on, you guys.
Where are you, seriously?
Athena, come on.
Athena.
Athena?
Athena?
Oh my God.
(COUGHS)
(AX THUDS)
I can't believe that I
found a jingle bell bracelet.
I didn't think they
made them anymore.
That's what I like
about that store.
You never know what
you're gonna find.
She has really unique stuff.
I always wanted
one when I was a kid,
but I knew better than to ask.
Well, now you have one.
And so will Dorothea.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
No.
No!
No!
No!
No!
(WHIMPERS)
Who's there?
I know what you did.
I know what you did.
You poisoned the soup.
You fucking crazy bitch,
where are my friends?
DOROTHEA: Let's
just say they're
not on the naughty list anymore.
You crazy, crazy
fucking bitch.
Let me go!
Wait.
DOROTHEA: Don't worry, dear.
It's Christmas.
I'm going to make you the
way you always wanted to be.
ATHENA: Get the
fuck away from me!
Keep away from me!
No!
Guys!
Guys.
Paula!
Paula!
Call the police. Help!
We're back.
Guys?
Hello?
Guys?
Athena?
Candace.
Gracie?
I don't know where they went.
Maybe they're upstairs.
Ladies.
Mrs. Smith?
Hello?
Hello?
Where is everyone?
I have no idea.
You think they left?
They better not have.
And Dorothea left her
pots boiling on the stove.
That's not very smart.
No, it's not.
Did you shut the stove off?
Yeah, why?
I smell something burning.
Oh my God, what is that?
It smells awful.
Something's dead.
What?
Is it still right there?
Must be.
Paula?
Yes.
What is that?
Get behind me.
Hello?
Are you hurt?
You have a gun, right?
No, no gun.
You're a police officer.
Police officers have guns.
No, I'm a parole
officer. We get mace.
Well, get your mace.
Call 911!
(GAGS)
Don't come over here.
How long has she been dead?
(TENSE MUSIC)
Victoria, I said call...
Run.
Run!
Get out of the house!
(POUNDS ON DOOR)
Paula, the house is on fire!
Paula, the doors are
locked and I can't get out!
Paula, please hurry!
What are you doing here?
I told you to get
out of the house.
I didn't want to
leave here without you.
Get out of the house!
(GASPS)
(GASPS)
(AX THUDS)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMS)
(POUNDS ON DOOR)
(SOBS)
No.
No.
No!
I don't wanna leave you either.
No, I don't wanna
leave without you.
No, I don't wanna leave you.
No, no, no, no.
(SOBS)
Please, Gracie.
No.
She's right there.
Gracie.
Gracie?
Gracie, no!
No!
No, no, no, please
don't leave me here.
(SOBS)
No.
No!
No, no, no.
No, don't.
Stay away from me.
Stay away from me!
Leave us alone.
Stay away from us!
No!
Get away from us!
Go away!
Go away!
Leave us alone!
No!
Go away.
No!
Go away!
(THUDS)
No.
No!
ATHENA: Come on.
No!
Hey!
Hey, it's me. It's Athena.
It's Athena.
Hey, hey.
I got you. We gotta go.
Hey, the house is on fire.
We gotta go now.
I don't wanna
leave Gracie here.
Hey, Gracie's dead.
Gracie's dead, Victoria.
We've gotta leave.
Okay.
Come on.
Come on. Come on.
(TENSE MUSIC)
(FIRE CRACKLES)
(TENSE MUSIC)
(GUN FIRES)
Merry fucking Christmas,
you crazy old bitch.
Are you two alright?
Good, you're lucky. That's a
dangerous woman back there.
Or, at least she was.
Who was she?
Her name is Dorothea Krimble.
She escaped from a mental
asylum a few days ago.
But, not before she set
fire to the whole place.
There was so many
bodies that were burned,
that they didn't trace it to
her until a few hours ago.
They thought she had
perished in the fire as well.
She's been on the
run ever since.
Looks like she's been masquerading
as the original occupant.
Hold on, no offense,
I just need to know,
what the hell are you doing
here and why do you have a gun?
I'm a police
officer, actually.
Surprised, right?
Anyway, I always pack heat.
I always say it's better
to be safe than sorry.
You two doin' okay.
You're good, right?
Okay.
Okay, I just need to sit tight.
I'm gonna go call for backup.
Okay?
(SIRENS WAIL IN THE DISTANCE)
VICTORIA: Can
we just go home?
(SCREAMS)
(ROCK MUSIC)
Whoa
You should feel
you're slippin'
You start to lose
your breath and
You come runnin' back to me
Start abusin'
what you're usin'
In the meantime losin'
What can you say?
Are you talkin' to me?
'Cause I can't hear you
when you're screamin'
Close the door
while you're leavin'
Are you talkin' to me?
You're a vision,
your addiction
Makes you wanna
get your fix and
You come runnin' back to me
Better slow down,
some would pay out
Now you're on your way out
Baby what, can you say?
Are you talkin' to me?
(KNOCKS ON DOOR)
Hello.
Anybody here?
I need some assistance here.
Hold on, I'm coming.
Hold on.
- Hi.
- Hi!
Oh, give it to me.
Can I help you with somethin'?
Yeah, give me
one second, please.
- Can you take this one for me?
- Yeah, sure.
Thank you so much.
Hope I didn't leave
you out there too long.
Oh, no, not at
all. Not at all.
- Thank you very much.
- Oh, you're welcome.
Wow, look at all this stuff.
Okay.
I'm so tired.
I can't believe
you were actually
able to get a flight so
last minute, you know?
Oh, me too.
When I heard you were comin'
in on such short notice
I thought, there's no way.
That had to cost
an arm and a leg.
Actually it wasn't that bad.
Niko's family had a lot of the
frequent flier miles saved up,
so, they just gave 'em to us.
That stupid Niko.
Let me, I'll be right back.
Hey, baby.
Eileen's in here.
Would you mind comin' in
and helpin' her with the
groceries real quick?
Alright, baby, I'll be
there in a second, okay?
Let me just finish chopping
these logs, alright?
Okay, but hurry.
We need a big,
strong man in here.
(LAUGHS)
Will do, babe.
Will do.
Man, you're fucking whipped.
He'll be in in just a
second to give you a hand.
(SIGHS)
(BELLS CHIME)
(COUGHS)
(TENSE MUSIC)
(CLATTERING NOISES)
Hello?
Hello?
(DOG BARKS)
(HIT THUDS)
(COUGHS)
(AX THUDS AGAINST FLESH)
You gotta watch that step!
That last one's a doozy.
You better lay off the eggnog.
Yeah, I would have to say so.
Thank you for your help.
I could've swore there were
more decorations, though.
Did you check the attic yet?
That's what I was thinkin'.
Well, let's go
look. I'll help.
No, no, no, no, no.
You just focus on
what you have to do,
and I'll get Niko to
help me with this.
Where the hell is he, anyway?
(TENSE MUSIC)
Oh, there he is.
Maybe he didn't hear
us in the basement.
You know, I'm gonna go
catch him real quick
and get him to help me
with the decorations.
Okay, I have to get
dinner going anyway.
Alright, well, we'll
be right back down,
so, if you need
anything, let us know.
Will do.
(TENSE MUSIC)
Niko, what's your problem?
You left the door wide open.
And while you're up there,
can you grab the
Christmas ornaments?
Well, are you gonna
answer me or not?
Seriously, Niko, I don't
know what your problem is.
(DOOR CREAKS OPEN)
Niko?
Niko?
(GLASS SHATTERS)
(SCREAMS)
(GAGS)
No!
No. No!
No. No!
(CHRISTMAS MUSIC)
(DOOR CREAKS OPEN)
(BELL CHIMES)
(CHRISTMAS MUSIC)
(CLATTERING)
Monica?
(THUMPING)
Martha, are you okay?
Monica, can you check
on your grandma for me?
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
Martha?
Martha?
(KNOCKS ON DOOR)
It's Eileen, are you okay?
Sweetheart, what's
going on with you?
(TENSE MUSIC)
(GROANS)
Oh my God, sweetheart.
Stay calm, stay calm.
It's alright, I'm gonna
go get you some help.
Just stay right there,
I'm gonna get you
some help, okay?
(SCREAMS)
(CHRISTMAS MUSIC)
(COUGHS)
Dude, you got some real balls
smokin' that shit while
you're still on probation.
Oh, whatever, man.
It's like our last day.
It's cause to celebrate.
(BELLS CHIME)
Hey, there's Victoria.
Victoria.
Right on time, as usual.
Yeah, she's lame.
She's not lame. She's normal.
She's a sweet kid.
Dude, she's a fucking
asshole. (LAUGHS)
Alright, alright, wrap it up.
Let's go. I don't wanna be late.
And the last thing
that I want to do
is two more weeks of this shit.
One pm, ladies.
Cutting it a little
close, don't ya think?
Look, can you cut us
some slack, it's Christmas.
Of course, merry
Christmas girls.
Now, it's freezing and
my aunt is really busy,
so, I'm gonna make this quick.
You ladies have done
a wonderful job.
I have had no complaints,
and that's huge.
You still have a job to do.
Only eight hours more
and your community
service will be done.
So, let's get in there and
give my aunt some help, okay?
(OVERLAPPING CONVERSATION)
Oh, would you look at that?
They really pulled out
all the stops this year.
I bet you that dollar
store made a killing
on all that tacky garland.
Stop it, Athena.
This is a homeless
shelter, not a drag show.
We'll see about that.
So, what am I doing?
Cooking, cleaning,
spoon feeding the old people?
What's my job?
PAULA: That's not up to
me, you have to ask Noelle.
Who's Noelle?
NOELLE: Merry
Christmas, everyone!
Question answered.
Oh, hi!
Hi!
Oh, girls, you have no idea
what your being
here means to us.
We're so excited.
Stop it, Athena.
Oh, what, look at
me. I'm so excited.
Now, come with me and I'll
give each one of you a task.
Oh, this is going
to be so much fun!
I just can't wait.
Have fun, ladies.
Aunt Nancy.
My baby, oh, it's
so good to see you.
BOTH: Merry Christmas!
Thank you.
Listen, Paula.
We really, really appreciate
you helpin' us out.
You're saving out butts.
Those extra hands are gonna
make a world of difference.
Well, they won't be the most
cheerful faces in the room.
But, they'll get the work done.
Speaking of,
I was wondering if you could
keep an eye on them for me?
I have a little
Christmas errand to run,
and I won't be long. I'll
be back before you know it.
Um, well, maybe.
I mean, I'll do what I can,
but, it's a madhouse out there.
They should be okay,
I don't see them getting
into too much trouble
at this point.
Okay.
Thank you!
- I'll be right back, okay?
- Okay.
Well, ladies, I'm sorry to say
there's just one last task and
it happens to be
the least glamorous.
As you can see,
we have lots of dishes
that need to be washed.
But, if you try to move through
them as quick as you can
and then we can move you
onto something less messy.
Okay?
Alright, so there's
sponges and there's soap,
and it looks like
you should be good.
Ladies, bless your hearts.
Such a big help.
You don't even know.
Okay, so, I'll be back soon.
Awesome.
Merry frickin' Christmas.
I'll scrape, you rinse?
Whatever, let's just
get this over with.
(CHRISTMAS MUSIC)
(OVERLAPPING CONVERSATIONS)
(COUGHS)
Alright, guys.
There's not a whole lot
of strawberries left,
so just take one, okay?
Yo!
I know you're homeless and shit,
but don't go gettin' greedy.
One each.
So, it's really cool
that your mom has your
back like she does.
I wish mine were like that.
First conviction, she was out.
Yeah.
I'm really grateful that she
understands the situation.
I mean, I think that she knows
that I wouldn't do
something like that.
But, I couldn't just let my
friend go down, you know?
She doesn't have anybody
to support her like I do.
You're a good kid, Victoria.
You definitely
don't belong here.
But, hey.
You put all this
shit behind ya today
and bounce back from it.
Unlike most of us.
Gracie, don't talk like that.
This doesn't have to
be your whole life.
You can change it if
you really want to.
Easier said than done.
Believe me.
Here, take these to Athena.
(TENSE MUSIC)
Mamma's thirsty.
Mamma's thirsty.
Mm, mm, mm.
I can't believe
we're doing this.
Oh, calm down.
It's not like we're
skipping class, Candace.
We're on probation.
For Christ's sakes.
The place was so busy that
nobody's gonna notice we're gone.
Honestly, Victoria,
it's perfectly fine.
We do this every
year. It's tradition.
Alright, ladies.
Bottom's up.
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
Ho, ho, ho.
(LAUGHTER)
Mm.
Oh, you are just too slow.
Open up, there we go.
Like the Holland
Tunnel, come on.
Woo, that a girl.
Jesus.
Of all the bars, that
douche bag had to come here.
Jaxx, my friend
over here is thirsty.
She's parched, and she
needs a cold beverage ASAP.
Come on. Thank you.
We're gonna make you
one of the girls.
I got a whole bunch of drinks
lined up for you, yes I do.
Who's that bitch
that he's with?
I'm gonna go talk to him.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
wait a second.
Seriously, you wanna
go down that path?
Yeah, I do, just keep your
mouth shut, alright, Gracie?
I'll be fine.
Famous last words.
Excuse me, ma'am.
It's not polite to
glare at the customers.
Back off.
Babe.
Can I talk to you for a minute?
What's up?
Alone.
Harley, can you do us a
favor and grab us a few beers.
Sure thing, babe.
Babe?
What?
We're just chillin',
no big deal.
No big deal?
Shit, I thought
we were on a break,
and you're out with
some little whore.
Look, Candace, you and I
both agreed we needed a break.
Take a break, not
see other people.
Your stripper drama
really gets to me, okay.
Oh, my stripper drama?
Yes, yours. Uh-huh.
You're a headcase, and
you're hard to deal with.
What did I do?
You're a headcase, do you hear
yourself talking right now?
- Donny.
- Look, look.
Can you just go.
You are so full of shit.
I think that's all
you ever do, Donny.
You just walk out all the
time, you're such an asshole.
Wait, wait, Donny. Donny,
please don't go yet.
Look, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, okay.
I just don't wanna see
you out with other girls.
Well, I really wasn't
expecting to see you here.
I thought you had that
probation thing going on.
It's our last day, so
we're out celebrating.
Hey, I'm in the
middle of somethin'.
Can you talk with
your girlfriends?
Impressive.
You know how I roll, Candace.
All it takes it the
right incentive.
Stop.
You're just a frickin' drug
dealer with a big dick.
You know it.
Well, pretty soon I'm gonna
be a rich drug dealer.
What are you talking about?
Come on, I got you somethin'.
I feel so much better.
I bet.
Frickin' Jaxx is
tryin' to get you drink
and take advantage of you.
Are you ready, we
gotta go find Candace?
Who was that guy she was with?
Donny.
That douche bag is her
on-again off-again ex.
He's such an a-hole.
Then why is she
still with him?
Candace has daddy issues.
Most dancers do, kind of the MO.
She's a stripper?
We prefer dancer.
Oh, I'm sorry.
You're a dancer too?
At one time, yes. Not anymore.
I don't think I could
ever do something like that.
No offense, they
would eat you alive.
You are way too innocent.
(MOANING)
(SNIFFS)
(SNIFFS)
(COUGHS)
Shit!
I gotta get back to the girls.
Really, six more hours
of this bullshit left
and then I'm done.
You need a lift?
Yeah, sure.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
Ladies, oh my goodness,
where have you been?
I've been looking
everywhere for you,
and where's your friend Candace?
Candace.
About Candace, actually,
she is in the bathroom.
She ate some of that meatloaf
that you've been serving,
and I just have the feeling like
it didn't sit with
her very well.
Yeah, she's been on the
pot for about 45 minutes.
And I actually think that she
might have the same problem,
that's why she can't stand up.
Oh dear, not another one.
Seems to be a trend today.
So, we're here.
What did you want us to do?
Right now, why
don't you just see
if you can find a way
to entertain the crowds.
I know, you could sing!
Sing?
Attention,
attention everybody.
Now, I know we're all
a little bit busy.
However, three of
our lovely workers
are here to help
spread the holiday joy.
So, everybody just
sit back and enjoy,
while they perform for
you a stunning rendition
of one of your favorite
Christmas carols.
What are we singing?
Well, the First
Noel of course.
Of course.
Ready.
The first noel
The angels did say
Was to certain poor shepherds
in fields as they lay
Hold the phone.
If we're gonna do this,
Mamma needs a little more tempo.
(HIP HOP MUSIC)
Kiss me underneath
the mistletoe
Bring all the things
that I ask for
'Cause I'm feelin'
really naughty tonight
Santa, baby can you get
me what I really need
I'll be the angel on top
of your Christmas tree
Uh-Oh, and I'm feelin'
really naughty tonight
Watch the ladies go
Jingle like that,
girl, jingle like that
Jingle like that,
girl, jingle like that
See me on top, baby
Say I'm not behaving
Jingle like that,
girl, jingle like that
Jingle like that,
girl, jingle like that
Sit on top, baby
Say I'm not behaving
La de da de da,
la de da de da
It's gonna be a
naughty Christmas
Have a naughty,
naughty Christmas
Have a naughty,
naughty Christmas
Everybody now
La de da de da,
la de da de da
It's gonna be a
naughty Christmas
Have a naughty,
naughty Christmas
Have a naughty,
naughty Christmas
I only got one
Christmas wish
To be the only
girl on your list
What is going on?
Now, stop this!
That'll be enough of this.
Oh my goodness.
That's enough.
Get off that stage right now.
Jingle like that,
girl, jingle like that
Jingle like that,
girl, jingle like that
Sit on top, baby
Say I'm not behaving
No point taking your
coats off, girls.
I need you to handle
the deliveries tonight.
Wait a second.
Don't you have to come with us?
I can't leave here like this,
I mean, look at this place.
I'm sure Paula will understand.
Okay, here's a list of names
and addresses for you, okay?
Try not to spend more than
a half hour at each house.
I mean, just plate up the
food and clean up a little bit
and then move onto
the next house.
Okay, we don't wanna be
serving these folks cold food.
You know?
Got it.
I have got to
get going, girls.
You'll be okay?
We'll be fine.
Alright, good. Thanks.
Angels we have heard on high
Sweetly singing
o'er the plains
And the mountains in reply
Echoing their joyous strains
Gloria
In excelsis Deo
Gloria
In excelsis Deo
Merry Christmas.
Alright.
(DOG BARKS)
Look.
The window.
She's watching us.
Actually, I think
that's our next stop.
(BELL CHIMES)
MRS. SMITH: May I help you?
Hi, Mrs. Smith?
We're from the church
down the street.
We're here with your holiday
dinner. You were on the list.
MRS. SMITH: List?
I don't know anything
about a list.
I've already eaten.
Oh, wait, honestly.
We have to spend at
least a half hour here.
It's part of our duties.
So, if there's
anything you need done,
cleaning or whatever,
we're just here to help.
MRS. SMITH:
It's getting late.
We'll only stay until
our ride gets here,
and then we'll be on our way.
It won't be long.
Honestly.
MRS. SMITH: You
said half an hour?
If that.
Come inside, it's
cold out there.
Thank you so much.
Jesus, it's cold.
Okay.
So.
Oh, here's your food.
Oh, thank you.
Put it in the kitchen.
You know, I heard
you singing outside.
I was wondering, could you
do a carol just for me?
Yeah, I think so.
Do you guys wanna
do Silent Night?
Oh, that's one of
my absolute favorites.
Okay, are you guys ready?
Okay.
Silent night
Holy night
All is calm
All is bright
Round yon virgin,
mother, and child
Holy infant so
tender and mild
Trapped in here
with your rue
Locked in the same room
Thank you, dear.
Would you like to try
me for some cocoa?
Okay.
I can't, I'm on a cleanse.
Excuse me?
Fine, I'll drink
your damn cocoa.
Language.
Great.
Well, I guess it looks like
we're gonna be staying
here for a while.
For sure.
Has anyone heard from Candace?
Whoa, I forgot about her.
No.
I'll just need to call her.
I got it.
Okay.
I'm on it.
Dude, you are really
tempting fate tonight.
You're so lucky
Paula isn't here yet.
You need to move your ass.
I'll text you the address.
Hurry up.
Jesus.
You don't want your
cocoa to get cold, dear.
So, what kind of a boss
makes you work so late
on a Christmas eve?
Paula.
Our parole officer.
Parole officer?
Yeah, it's out last
night of community service.
That doesn't make your
efforts any less appreciated.
So, how's the cocoa?
It's delicious, thank you.
It's my own special recipe.
So, if you don't mind my asking,
tell me, what did you
do to get in trouble.
Oh, I got in trouble for
trying to suck a cop's dick
for cocaine.
Well, that would certainly
get you on the naughty list.
Honey, I am the naughty list.
That's not something
to be proud of, dear.
And what about you?
Are you as bad as your
flamboyant friend over there?
Theft.
I got caught shoplifting
at this new high
end store downtown.
I wasn't used to the layout.
I slipped up and I
got caught on that
stupid, high tech hidden camera.
I didn't get four
steps from that place
and those cops were
all over my ass.
Pigs.
Naughty, naughty.
Thou shalt not steal.
But, I suspect that's
a verse in a book
you're not familiar with.
And what about you?
You don't look like the type
to be running with
this kind of people?
What kind of stupid
mistake did you make?
It's just that.
A stupid mistake.
We all make them, dear.
I guess so.
My friend and I,
we were coming home from
a party on the East Side.
She drove, but, by the end
of the night she was drunk.
I didn't wanna risk her
gettin' behind the wheel,
so, I took the keys away.
Only thing was,
I was three months out from
getting my driver's license.
I guess the cop that
was behind me knew.
He pulled me over and
asked me for my ID and
I just didn't know what to say.
Not to mention that I had
a couple drinks myself.
It's just not really
one of those things
you can talk yourself out of.
Well, I think what you
did was very admirable.
I'm sure you won't be on
the naughty list this year.
(SIGHS)
So, you have a
very beautiful home.
How long have you lived
here, like, 500 years?
Thank you. All my life.
Why do you ask?
No reason, I'm just
tryin' to make small talk.
It really is a lovely house.
You're just what I needed
on a lonely Christmas Eve.
You don't have anybody
to spend Christmas with?
No.
I never married and I have
no children or grandchildren.
It's just me.
And the cats.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
Oh, don't be.
Listen, if that offer
of help is still good,
I could really use some help
cleaning up around here.
My knees were so bad I
couldn't get the floors
the way I wanted to this year.
We'd be happy to help.
Please tell me you have a mop.
And a broom.
Ooh, I bet she even
flew in on it, huh?
This is not my life.
You girls are doing
a very nice job.
I really love your tree.
Thank you, it's meant
to be appreciated.
This is a really
interesting doll.
Oh, that's not a doll, dear.
It's a precious antique.
Do you have a lot
of old decorations?
I suppose, up in the attic.
I'd really love to see them.
Do you think that we could
put more decorations
on your tree?
Honey, I can't climb up all
those stairs to the attic.
That's okay, Gracie can do it.
Alright, I'll show
her where the attic is.
Jeez.
It's not that one, dear.
Well, you have
so many damn doors.
In my father's house,
there are many mansions.
Okay, listen, no
offense or anything,
but could you save
the scripture quotes
for your penuchle friends?
It's not that one either.
What is that smell?
My cat.
She died last week,
and I haven't been able to
give her a proper burial.
So, put her in the trash.
I never.
Okay.
The attic is over here.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
I'm not goin' up
there, it's dark.
Light switch is on the right.
Hello?
Hey, I found your bulbs.
Hey, somebody's up here.
I have your balls.
Mrs. Smith, serious.
Hey.
Hello?
(KNOCKS ON DOOR)
Mrs. Smith, come on.
Athena, Victoria, I'm upstairs.
You guys, hey.
Mrs. Smith, come on, let me out!
Come on, this is not
funny, let me out of here.
Come on, let me out.
What the hell was that?
I don't know.
The door sticks sometimes.
Okay.
Well, I found your balls.
Thank you.
Alright, selfie time.
My new best friend.
Oh, I love you so much,
you're so horrible.
I don't think you
should be touching that.
Take a photo of us,
and I'll put him down.
Athena, put the Santa down.
What is your problem
with me touching Santa?
Not that I have a problem
with you touching Santa.
But, if you drop
it and it breaks,
then you're destroying
a precious antique.
Photo.
Could you, please.
Like that?
Yeah.
Good light?
How do I look?
Great?
You know, if I did drop
this thing and break it,
I'd be doin' the
old woman a favor.
He's disgusting.
(PHONE RINGS)
Hello?
Yeah, I'm just packing
up the car now.
Why, is something wrong?
Well, you had someone
escort them, right?
No, they can't be left
alone unchaperoned.
If they get in trouble,
that could be on me.
I know, I know, I
shouldn't have left.
I was just trying to
do something nice.
Look, I'll be there in a minute.
Thank you for calling
me and telling me.
I'll see you soon.
(KNOCKS ON DOOR)
(BELL CHIMES)
MRS. SMITH: Yes?
CANDACE: Hi.
MRS. SMITH: You
must be Candace.
That's me.
I should've known
from the outfit.
Hello.
That would give it
away, wouldn't it?
Well, fa la fucking la.
Donny Eight Ball.
Well, merry Christmas
to you too, Athena.
He's not gonna stay all night.
He's just coming in
to warm up, right?
Right?
Are you gonna go?
Yeah, of course.
May I get you a cup of cocoa?
(LAUGHS)
What's so funny?
Oh, well, no.
I mean, it's just been
a really long time
since anybody's
offered me cocoa.
(LAUGHS)
Can I talk to
you for a minute?
Oh, shit.
Jesus.
Look at me.
- Look at me.
- Alright.
Dude, you are high
as a kite right now.
I know.
What the hell
are you thinking?
You need to sober up right now,
because Paula is
on her way here.
You think she can tell?
Yeah. Go.
Go.
Get your hands off me.
Candace, go. You don't.
Bathroom?
First door on the left.
Thanks.
Hi, Paula.
Come in, we've got
a really cool lady.
I found you guys. Finally.
What is that?
Just a little ho, ho, ho.
Where are the other girls?
I don't know.
Mrs. Smith?
Paula, I want you to meet
the woman who lives here.
She's so sweet.
I just don't know
where she went.
Hey, Paula.
Hey, Gracie.
Where's Candace?
She spilled some
cocoa on her dress.
She wanted to get it
out before it stained.
Gracie, do you know
where Mrs. Smith went?
I have no idea. Maybe
she went upstairs.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
Hello, Candace.
Did you get the stain out?
Yeah, I think so. I'm good.
Well, listen. Now
that you all are here,
I just wanna get this over with.
I know this is the
complete opposite
of what I should
be doing right now,
but,
I really enjoyed out time
together, as I do every year.
And, even though this is
supposed to be a punishment,
I just wouldn't feel
right parting ways tonight
if I didn't give you
a little something.
You know, for the holidays.
I'm going to stop talking now.
Here.
I get way into the holiday.
I can't help it.
Merry Christmas, girls.
Oh, yes.
Oh.
No, seriously.
It's the first nice gift
I've received in a long time.
I love it.
PAULA: You must
be Mrs. Smith.
MRS. SMITH: Yes, and you?
I'm Paula. I'm the
girls' parole officer.
Being it's their last
day of probation,
I wanted to give them
their Christmas gifts.
I hope you don't mind.
No, of course not.
It's a very nice
necklace you have there.
Yeah.
It is nice getting a
gift from someone who's
not related to you.
I just like getting a gift.
One could only imagine.
May I get you a drink of water?
Yes, please, that
would be wonderful.
Baby.
Look.
What's wrong, Victoria?
I don't know, it's just that
Mrs. Smith was
just talking to us
about how she
didn't have anybody
to spend the holidays with, and
now that I think about it,
that probably means
that she doesn't have anyone
to give her a gift either.
I love the necklace,
Paula, it's beautiful.
I just feel guilty about
opening it in her house
without having something
for her as well.
Do you wanna run
out really quick
and grab a little
something for Mrs. Smith.
I'd love that, Paula.
Alright, well, let's do it
before she notices we've gone.
Alright, girls, you be good.
Bye, guys. We'll see you soon.
You are so lucky
Donny heard her coming.
If Paula would've
caught him here.
I know.
Donny, she's gone,
you can come down now.
Donny.
The hell is he doing up there?
I'm gonna go grab
him really fast.
Oh, Candace.
What?
That dead cat, first
door on the right.
Thanks.
I love Christmas.
It's just so
festive, so magical.
Yeah.
Christmas has been kind
of rough for my family
since my dad lost
his job at the mill.
We kind of stopped
celebrating Christmas.
We just couldn't afford it.
But, you get used to it.
I'm sorry, Victoria, I
didn't mean to bring it up.
No, no, it's okay. Honestly.
Gifts or not, I still
love this holiday.
It's not about the
presents anyway.
That's true.
But, it's always nice to know
that someone's thinking of you.
Yeah.
I know.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
Donny?
Donny?
Donny?
You in here?
- What is wrong with you?
- Sorry.
Jesus Christ.
Been walkin'
around this house.
You know, the lady
who owns this place?
I'm pretty sure she's nuts.
I heard her talkin' to
herself in the other room.
Yeah, there's something
not right about her.
Gracie told me that she's
got a dead, rotting cat
- up here somewhere.
- What?
Yeah, right.
That's weird.
- Batshit crazy.
- Yeah.
So.
Paula took Victoria to go
get that old lady a gift.
Really?
That was nice of her.
I thought so.
You know, that reminds
me of something.
What?
I got you a gift too.
You did?
And, what did you get me?
Close your eyes.
Let me guess. It's a
pair of panties, isn't it?
You know me too well.
I do.
Why don't you
slip them on for me?
Why don't you watch.
Ooh.
CANDACE: Do you like 'em?
Oh yeah.
(MOANS)
(ROCK MUSIC)
Silent night
Holy night
All is calm
All is right
Round yon virgin,
mother, and child
Holy infant so
tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
Do you want me to
put this in the sink?
Oh, that would be great.
Thank you, dear.
Are you hungry?
What are you cookin'?
Soup.
Not bad.
Bitch is crazy,
but she can cook.
Grab a bowl.
So, what kind of soup
are you makin' anyway?
Oh, this, it's an
old family recipe.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
MRS. SMITH: You can
clean up in the bathroom.
Everything okay?
I'll bring you something.
Give me the clothes.
I can put them in dryer. They'll
be ready in half an hour.
I'm so sorry.
Good timing.
Mama's gotta go shopping.
I thought she said she
didn't have any family.
Didn't you hear that noise?
Everything okay in there?
Sounds like you
had a little spill.
(MOANING)
Did you just come too?
Donny, you didn't pull out.
Yeah, I did.
You just came inside of me.
Donny, Jesus Christ, I'm
not on birth control.
You can't get me pregnant again.
Where'd I put that?
Come here.
Did you come, Donny?
Yeah, I did.
And I'll do it again.
She's gonna be forever.
(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)
(LAUGHTER)
(THUMPING)
Candace?
Everything okay?
(WATER DRIPS)
Oh, Santy Clause!
(LAUGHTER)
Baby, did you light
the candles for me?
That's really sweet.
I'm gonna borrow
your shirt, okay?
Do you have any more of that
shit from earlier that we did?
It was really good.
And I think we should
do some more of it.
Baby?
Donny, did you fall asleep?
(TENSE MUSIC)
Oh no.
(AX THUDS)
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
That's weird.
Okay. Coke is startin' to hit.
Oh.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh God.
I don't think this is coke.
Gracie?
(COUGHS)
Okay.
(GROANS)
(GAGS)
(GROANS)
Hello?
Hey, Mrs. Smith, are
my clothes dry yet?
Hello?
Hello?
Where the hell is everyone?
Athena?
Come on, you guys.
Where are you, seriously?
Athena, come on.
Athena.
Athena?
Athena?
Oh my God.
(COUGHS)
(AX THUDS)
I can't believe that I
found a jingle bell bracelet.
I didn't think they
made them anymore.
That's what I like
about that store.
You never know what
you're gonna find.
She has really unique stuff.
I always wanted
one when I was a kid,
but I knew better than to ask.
Well, now you have one.
And so will Dorothea.
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
No.
No!
No!
No!
No!
(WHIMPERS)
Who's there?
I know what you did.
I know what you did.
You poisoned the soup.
You fucking crazy bitch,
where are my friends?
DOROTHEA: Let's
just say they're
not on the naughty list anymore.
You crazy, crazy
fucking bitch.
Let me go!
Wait.
DOROTHEA: Don't worry, dear.
It's Christmas.
I'm going to make you the
way you always wanted to be.
ATHENA: Get the
fuck away from me!
Keep away from me!
No!
Guys!
Guys.
Paula!
Paula!
Call the police. Help!
We're back.
Guys?
Hello?
Guys?
Athena?
Candace.
Gracie?
I don't know where they went.
Maybe they're upstairs.
Ladies.
Mrs. Smith?
Hello?
Hello?
Where is everyone?
I have no idea.
You think they left?
They better not have.
And Dorothea left her
pots boiling on the stove.
That's not very smart.
No, it's not.
Did you shut the stove off?
Yeah, why?
I smell something burning.
Oh my God, what is that?
It smells awful.
Something's dead.
What?
Is it still right there?
Must be.
Paula?
Yes.
What is that?
Get behind me.
Hello?
Are you hurt?
You have a gun, right?
No, no gun.
You're a police officer.
Police officers have guns.
No, I'm a parole
officer. We get mace.
Well, get your mace.
Call 911!
(GAGS)
Don't come over here.
How long has she been dead?
(TENSE MUSIC)
Victoria, I said call...
Run.
Run!
Get out of the house!
(POUNDS ON DOOR)
Paula, the house is on fire!
Paula, the doors are
locked and I can't get out!
Paula, please hurry!
What are you doing here?
I told you to get
out of the house.
I didn't want to
leave here without you.
Get out of the house!
(GASPS)
(GASPS)
(AX THUDS)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMS)
(POUNDS ON DOOR)
(SOBS)
No.
No.
No!
I don't wanna leave you either.
No, I don't wanna
leave without you.
No, I don't wanna leave you.
No, no, no, no.
(SOBS)
Please, Gracie.
No.
She's right there.
Gracie.
Gracie?
Gracie, no!
No!
No, no, no, please
don't leave me here.
(SOBS)
No.
No!
No, no, no.
No, don't.
Stay away from me.
Stay away from me!
Leave us alone.
Stay away from us!
No!
Get away from us!
Go away!
Go away!
Leave us alone!
No!
Go away.
No!
Go away!
(THUDS)
No.
No!
ATHENA: Come on.
No!
Hey!
Hey, it's me. It's Athena.
It's Athena.
Hey, hey.
I got you. We gotta go.
Hey, the house is on fire.
We gotta go now.
I don't wanna
leave Gracie here.
Hey, Gracie's dead.
Gracie's dead, Victoria.
We've gotta leave.
Okay.
Come on.
Come on. Come on.
(TENSE MUSIC)
(FIRE CRACKLES)
(TENSE MUSIC)
(GUN FIRES)
Merry fucking Christmas,
you crazy old bitch.
Are you two alright?
Good, you're lucky. That's a
dangerous woman back there.
Or, at least she was.
Who was she?
Her name is Dorothea Krimble.
She escaped from a mental
asylum a few days ago.
But, not before she set
fire to the whole place.
There was so many
bodies that were burned,
that they didn't trace it to
her until a few hours ago.
They thought she had
perished in the fire as well.
She's been on the
run ever since.
Looks like she's been masquerading
as the original occupant.
Hold on, no offense,
I just need to know,
what the hell are you doing
here and why do you have a gun?
I'm a police
officer, actually.
Surprised, right?
Anyway, I always pack heat.
I always say it's better
to be safe than sorry.
You two doin' okay.
You're good, right?
Okay.
Okay, I just need to sit tight.
I'm gonna go call for backup.
Okay?
(SIRENS WAIL IN THE DISTANCE)
VICTORIA: Can
we just go home?
(SCREAMS)
(ROCK MUSIC)
Whoa
You should feel
you're slippin'
You start to lose
your breath and
You come runnin' back to me
Start abusin'
what you're usin'
In the meantime losin'
What can you say?
Are you talkin' to me?
'Cause I can't hear you
when you're screamin'
Close the door
while you're leavin'
Are you talkin' to me?
You're a vision,
your addiction
Makes you wanna
get your fix and
You come runnin' back to me
Better slow down,
some would pay out
Now you're on your way out
Baby what, can you say?
Are you talkin' to me?