Movie Theater Massacre (2023) Movie Script

[creaking]
[crackling]
[wind howling]
-[Nick] Concession stand's all closed down.
-Okay, great.
I still got to check the PQ for the
DCP, but I might just say fuck it.
You can hang and watch it if you want.
Or feel free to take off.
Um, you know, I'm cool. Thanks, though.
I'm kind of in the midst of
this Hitchcock Retrospective
that's about to leave
The Criterion Channel,
so I think I'm just gonna head home.
That's cool. I didn't know
that they did retrospectives.
I still don't have The Criterion Channel,
but I do still got some Criterion
Hitchcock on Blu-ray and DVD.
-Nice.
-Ah, you know, bonus features on deck.
And the essays in the
booklets are usually on point.
I really enjoy being able to read
up about a film right after I see it.
Provides a bit more
context and perspective.
Maybe I should pick up a few the next
time they have a flash sale or something.
Now you're talking.
[sighs] I can't believe this is
the last week for the theater.
[Val] What can you do?
People just don't care about
going to the theater as much
now that they have such access
to movies at the click of a button.
I guess I'm just a part of the problem.
[chuckles] No. I mean, it makes sense.
The movie business was
thriving in the '30s and '40s,
but that was because that was the only
access people had to the moving image.
Then, once television really
came in full swing in the '50s,
it changed everything.
Do you think movie theaters will make it,
like, still be around in 100 years?
Yeah, I think so... in
one way or the other.
I mean, you can't replicate
the experience at home
of seeing a great movie on a giant screen.
And then you add the
audience participation element,
and... it makes it even more its own thing.
Yeah. Hopefully, audiences will be able to
-fully come out to the theaters again someday.
-[snickers]
Well, Dial M for Murder is calling my name.
Are you going to hang around?
Uh, probably not.
I'm kind of beat.
I'm just gonna finish up
here and then take off.
Go ahead and get on
out of here, Mr. MacGuffin.
[both laugh] -Have a good night, Val.
You too, Nick.
[sirens wailing]
[sinister music]
[muffled grunt]
[ominous organ music]
[tires screech]
[door rattles]
[gasps, chuckles nervously]
Winston, you scared me.
-Sorry, Miss Valerie.
-[Val chuckles]
It's okay. I was just surprised. [Chuckles]
Hi, Cecelia.
Hello, Miss Valerie.
[chuckles]
You both know that's my first name, right?
And only my mother calls
me that. My friends call me Val.
[both] Sorry, Miss Valerie.
Okay, well, [chuckling] I'm out of here.
-Have a good night.
-[Cecelia] You too.
Good night, Miss Valerie.
[engine sputters]
[sighs] Fuck.
[tense music]
[key clicks, engine starts]
[sighs]
[objects clattering]
[vacuum cleaner whirring]
[leaf blower gusting]
[door clanks open]
[door slams against wall]
[door creaks close]
[switch clicks]
-[projector whirring]
Just got around to getting myself dressed,
and it's almost time to go to bed.
I've been playing solitaire all afternoon,
trying to decide what to have for supper.
Tuna fish or beans.
[laughing] And beans won.
[vehicles passing]
[cheerfully] Hi. How can I help you?
Um, yeah, one, please.
Sure. It'll be ten bucks.
Oh. Um, sorry,
we can't take credit cards right now.
-Oh, you guys are closing?
-Yeah.
With streaming, and COVID, and everything,
kind of puts the theater in a bad position.
I'm sorry to hear.
Do you have an ATM inside?
No. Sorry.
No sweat. I'll just run to
one and grab some cash.
-Okay. Sorry for the trouble.
-No worries.
This is why I never go
to the fucking movies.
[Jake] What, we're not playing the
porn flick that guy wanted to see?
You have such a one-track mind.
What? What's wrong with porn?
Well, besides the fact
that it objectifies women.
Okay, Mr. Me Too.
Have you ever seen,
like, a classic erotic film?
Oh, you know what? Last week, I...
-No.
-[Chuckles]
Well, you should check one out sometime.
And mind you, not all porn is about women.
Some is about transgender people,
and others are about homosexuality.
And there are female porn
directors, like Roberta Findlay.
She was a pioneer of '60s sexploitation.
Oh. Oh, I didn't know I was
talking to a clitoris connoisseur.
[chuckles] Yeah.
Okay, well, I have quite the
collection of classic erotica.
In the '70s, it was
considered chic and, like, in.
Almost mainstream, in a way.
And there were stories and plots.
It wasn't just about fucking.
And, hey, what's wrong with
watching people fuck anyways?
I mean, we all do it.
[hesitantly] Well, not everybody.
[laughs, mock coughing] Incel.
No. Oh, no. Don't fucking
"no feeling when girlfriend" me.
-[laughing] Okay. Anyways...
-[scoffs]
"most" people have sex.
That's how we all got here anyway,
through one sexual act or another.
Yeah, I kind of see what you're saying.
American culture is quite
repressed when it comes to sexuality.
It's, it's kind of weird how violence
in film is accepted and rated PG-13
while [softly] sex is rated R or X.
Exactly.
Snoochie boochies.
[serene music]
[birds chirping]
[creature screeches]
[birds chirping]
What did you hit, Ray?
I don't know, a bird or something.
[movie playing in distance]
-Only a handful of people showed up?
-Yeah.
No wonder this fucking
place is going under.
I mean, what do you expect?
It's a matinee on a weekday.
Yeah, but it seems like people don't really
care about going to the movies anymore.
It kind of makes sense.
Especially when you can stream
whatever and whenever
for only a few bucks a month.
-[softly] Yeah.
-Yeah. But it's not the same.
I mean, going to the
movies has got its own vibe.
You know, it's more
cinematic. It's the big screen.
[mutters]
[clipboard clatters]
[grunts softly]
[grunts]
[Jake] Could you grab some small cups?
I just ran out.
Gotcha.
Fuck.
These motherfuckers, man.
Geez.
Uh, dude, where are the cups?
Yeah, okay.
[Jake] What, what are you talking about?
I'll tell you, man. You and Dan got
way too much time on your hands.
[Jake] Huh?
Oh, there aren't any cups,
Jake, because, you know,
Jake just loves to fuck with Wily.
[laughing sarcastically] Good stuff.
What do you mean, "There aren't any cups"?
-Where are all the cups?
-Huh?
Dude, I think we're missing
a bit more than cups.
Hey, did you just donate
all the concessions
from the stockroom?
-[Dan chuckling] No.
Yeah, well, the stockroom
is completely empty.
What did you stoners do with all the candy?
Dan, listen. I came in
here to do stock, okay?
I took some stuff out. When I left,
the stockroom was completely filled.
Everything was cool. Then
Jake asked me to grab some cups.
When I come back, everything
in the stockroom was gone.
Guys... [chuckling] Look, I, I get it.
It's the last week and all, but that
doesn't mean you got to rob the place blind.
We didn't take anything.
Where's Rachel?
She's in the box office.
[whimsical music]
Did you take all the stock
out of the stockroom?
Huh?
Just answer the question.
No. Why? [Chuckles]
Um, did you see anybody take
the stock out of the stockroom?
Dan, what the heck are you talking about?
Okay. What is this?
Is this just "Let's make the
manager look stupid day"?
No, seriously, we're
not kidding around, man.
Look, maybe somebody broke in,
took everything and went out the back.
Yeah, but I was only
gone for, like, two minutes.
Listen, there's no way they
took everything out that quick.
Yeah, those soda syrup
boxes weigh, like, 50 pounds.
All right.
Well, whatever.
It's the last week.
I was just gonna give it to you guys.
Whoever wanted that crap, anyways.
Harold doesn't want it anymore,
so I guess the joke's on you.
Just don't take any of the fucking money.
[Jake sighs]
[rustling]
Dude. Dude.
I just saw someone
jerking it in the bathroom.
Oh. Someone just flashed
you with their boner?
Well, no, but I saw
someone jacking off in a stall.
What? Dude, why are you
lurking on people in the stalls?
Dude, I wasn't lurking.
I mean, well, I kind of was,
but I was just walking by,
doing my bathroom check,
and someone was spanking it.
It was kind of hard to miss.
"Kind of hard"?
That's what she said.
[sighs]
Hey, have you heard from Nick today?
[Wily] No.
He's supposed to meet up with me
tonight and help me out with my short.
You know how he is, man.
Well, we shoot at the theater tomorrow.
If he doesn't show up, I'm kind of screwed.
Hey, you think you could make it out?
Yeah.
-Yeah?
-Sure.
Awesome. [Chuckles] Oh, we
start when the theater closes.
But if you could get here a
little earlier, that'd be great.
-Okay. Yeah.
-All right, man.
Well, I, I got to run, but, uh, I'll
catch you tomorrow, all right?
-Got it.
-Thanks.
[laughs]
[eerie music]
[ominous music]
[engine starts]
[Sadie in movie] Thanks, baldie.
Well, boys, let's dip the beak.
[Bates] Well, now, ain't
that a beautiful sight?
After you lots, delight in me gizzard.
[O'Hara] I'll find a glass
for you, Miss Thompson.
[Sadie] What for? Down the hatch.
[Bates laughs] Now, there's
a lady after me own heart.
[Sadie] Friend of mine slipped
me that just before I left Honolulu.
"Not that you'll need it, Sadie," said he.
[Bates] And right he was, Sadie.
You're not the type that
needs hooch to pep you up.
[Sadie] Nah, I was born hooched.
[Hodgson] Holy moly, look
at this! The "Wabash Blues."
[Sadie] Music and a nip of liquor,
that's what a rainy day is for, says I.
[coughing]
The fuck?
Busted!
What the fuck, man?
I'm too high for this shit.
Dude, how many times do I got to tell you?
You don't smoke weed in the building.
If you're going to, just
hit the fucking vape, man.
Dude, what's the matter,
huh? It's the last week.
Yeah. Now it's going to reek in here.
[sighs]
We don't open for another 20 minutes.
All right. Well... lemme
get a hit of that too.
There we go.
Dude, what are you going
to do after you leave here?
I don't know.
I think I'm just gonna take
some time off, collect my bearings
and some unemployment while I'm at it.
I hear you, man.
[scoffs] It's fucking bullshit, man.
I mean, it's like everything I
love is being taken away from me.
-Video stores, record stores.
-[poignant piano music]
Shit, movie theaters. [Scoffs]
What the fuck am I supposed to do now?
It's like... [coughs]
Isn't technology supposed
to make our lives better?
I feel like it's making my shit worse.
Yeah. I was driving around
the other night after I left a flick,
and normally I'd maybe hit
up the video store, you know,
see if they have any cool,
like, used stuff for sale.
Yeah.
But now those are all gone. I just go home.
[coughs] Surf through
the streaming channels.
[laughs]
It's just not the same.
Shit's fucking weak, man.
What about you? I mean,
you got anything lined up?
Yeah. [Coughs]
Supposed be starting over
at All For a Buck next week.
[chuckles] Nice.
[scoffs] No.
No, not really. Not at all.
[exhales]
I don't give a shit about
that fucking store, man.
I'm gonna have to put up with
a whole bunch of stupid bullshit
and listen to horrible music all day,
and then deal with idiot-ass customers
coming in and asking me where shit is.
[scoffs] Hopefully, I
don't fucking kill myself.
[Dan snickers]
-Yeah.
[Dan chuckles]
[Wily scoffs]
[softly] Shit.
Yeah.
[whimsical music]
How are you doing, my darling?
This place looks absolutely hideous.
Come. Come on in.
Don't worry about the mess. This
atrocity will be gone soon enough.
Please, please. This way.
What is that ghastly smell?
-Hey, Dan.
-Yeah?
Hey.
Who are those people?
They're investors.
Harold's looking to tear this building
down so he can put up condos.
Oh, shit, man.
-Fuck.
-Yeah, pretty much.
You seen Nick yet?
No.
Okay, well, I should probably call him.
Oh. Yeah.
[sighs]
Yo, dude, it's Dan. Where are you at?
You were supposed to be
in the theater 30 minutes ago.
Call me back.
[clicks tongue] Eh. You know, whatever.
I guess I'll text Val,
see if she can come in.
-Ooh. That'll make her day.
-[Snickers]
[Wily chuckles]
[whimsical music]
[laughing]
You are my baby You are lovely
Oh, it's so hot in here. So hot.
[laughs]
[whispering] Oh, you,
don't be jealous. It's okay.
Oh, yeah.
[inhales, sighs contentedly]
I'll see you soon.
Woof.
Looks like someone had a rough night.
-Fuck off.
-[Snickers]
There's nobody even here.
Why the fuck did I come in for this?
Yeah, you never know.
Might be a mad dash for popcorn.
People might start running
out of toilet paper again
and need some kernels
to wipe their ass with.
That doesn't even make any sense.
[Val] And the popcorn
is shitty enough as it is.
[scoffs]
Hm.
I kind of like the popcorn.
Where the fuck is Nick?
Uh, I was gonna ask you
the same thing. [Chuckles]
-He worked on Sunday, right?
-Yeah. He stayed the whole shift
and shut the theater down with me.
Well, it's not like him
to be a no call, no show.
I know.
I hope he's okay.
[ominous organ music]
[object clatters]
-[sighs]
[Val exhales]
[exhales sharply]
-[Dan] Here's some change.
-Thanks.
Okay.
Um, hi.
[chuckles]
-Can I buy a ticket?
[chuckles] Yeah. So sorry.
Yes. That'll be $10.
[Val sighs]
Ah.
-Enjoy the show.
-Thanks.
[sighs]
[indistinct chatter] -[man 1] Yeah,
man, I was just reading the reviews.
-I'm excited to see it.
-[man 2] Yeah, so am I.
-[man 1] Yeah, let's see it.
-[man 2] For sure.
-Hello?
-Hey. How are you doing?
-What can I get you?
-Two, please.
Sure thing. That'll be $20.
Thank you.
-[Harold] So, we'll be speaking next week?
-[Investor] Sure thing.
-[Harold] Great.
-Thank you.
[Val] Mm-hm.
[engine revving in distance]
Can I help you?
If it's money you're after,
I don't have any cash.
Go on.
Shoo.
Shoo, you vagrant!
I'm calling the police.
[bones breaking]
-[groans]
[grunting]
Stop, please! Stop!
[yells]
[banging]
-[grunting]
[thuds]
[tense music]
[heartbeat pulsating]
[ominous music]
[inaudible]
This is tearing me apart.
-Again?
-Yeah. Let's do it again.
Okay.
Hey, man, thanks for
making it out. Appreciate it.
-It's no problem.
-Wanna meet them?
Yeah.
Hey, this is Wily.
He'll be doing sound for us today.
-Uh, this is Mike and Vanessa.
-[Vanessa] Hi.
-Hey. What's up?
-Hey.
What's happening?
Let me show you the sound gear.
Cool.
Hey, did you get a chance
to check out that manual?
Yep. Checked it out last night before bed.
Okay. Well, while you get
acclimated with this stuff,
I'm going to finish setting up the shot.
If you have any
questions, just let me know.
Sounds good.
Did you hear what I did there?
Uh...
Okay, Walter Murch.
Thanks.
So, how are we doing so far?
-I think we got it.
-Yeah.
Cool. Um, I'm just about
finished setting up the shot.
[warbling]
[Vanessa] So, when I
came out of the bathroom,
I had toilet paper running
down my panties. [Chuckles]
Oh, shit.
Literally.
[recorder beeps]
-And action.
-[Film whirring]
What do you mean? You
don't love me anymore?
[Mike] Babe, what are you talking about?
You are the only thing I love.
[Vanessa] Doesn't seem that way to me.
This is tearing me apart.
And that is a cut.
Okay. Uh, loving the intensity.
You're really giving Tommy
Wiseau a run for his money.
[Jake] Uh, okay.
Now let's try it like...
Okay, you know that she...
-[circuits scrambling]
[sound scrambling]
[scrambling stops] -Um,
and she doesn't know that.
She, she dreamt all of this,
so this... It wasn't even real.
Right? [Muffled] And you know that.
So, just try to portray that...
[circuits scrambling] -[unknown voice
through headset] Destroy the Hays Code.
[Jake] Okay. All right,
let's give it another try.
You good to go?
Dude, I don't know.
What do you mean?
Just heard some weird shit.
Mm-hm.
[smacks lips] Let's, uh...
Uh, dude, you got to understand
everyone has their own method,
[softly] but you don't criticize the actors in
front of them. You do that behind their back.
[Wily] No, no, no. That's
not what I'm talking about.
I heard some noises.
Like whispering.
-Like, during the take?
-No, no, no.
Like, just now, while you
were talking to the actors.
Well, if it wasn't during
the take, then whatever.
All right.
Hey, dude. How high are you right now?
No, no. Trust me, you
want me to be high for this.
[chuckles] It'll make it all sound better.
Besides, anyway, that's not
what we're talking about right now.
You're sure?
-Yeah.
-You, you know, you're probably right.
You'll probably be able to reach
some other plane of sound design,
and that's what we do
like. But just let me know
if it happens again during a take.
-Okay?
-Okay.
All right, let's go again.
That'll be $4.75.
Thanks. Enjoy the show.
[plastic rustling]
[clicks, whirs]
So, what do you think are in those bags?
I don't know.
I've been seeing that
dude around for years.
He's always got some plastic bags with him.
Exactly. I have never
seen him here without that.
Whatever's in them, it's got
to be a bit on the heavy side.
I mean, look.
Looks like they have a
little bit of weight to them.
Well, I, I wonder if he's
got actual weights in them.
I used to have a friend of a
friend who told me that his friend
used to walk around his
house constantly with weights.
You know, just to build up his strength.
Maybe the bag man is just
trying to get his daily workout on.
Maybe. But that theory is not fun.
I bet he's got bombs in there just to nuke
a motherfucker whenever he feels the need.
Yeah, like, bombs in buildings are fun.
I mean, I guess he does kind of have a
Timothy McVeigh, Unabomber vibe about him.
Well, could it be money? Like, like,
all the money he has in the world.
I mean, the bag man just
doesn't have any faith in the banks,
so he carries all his
money around constantly.
No, no, no. I could see
that being problematic.
That basically makes him
a constant walking target.
He could get mugged,
like, wherever he went.
But if it is money,
you should see if he wants
to donate to save the theater.
-Or better yet, buy it.
-[Scoffs]
What? The dude is here enough as it is.
I'm sure he would not
want to see the place go.
Yeah. I'm sure Harold would
sell this place to the highest bidder.
[seats thud]
[zipper zips]
[object clatters]
Have a nice day.
[suspenseful music]
[eerie music]
-Hey!
-Oh!
What the fuck, dude? You
freaked the fuck out of me.
Sorry, man. Well, look.
You're gonna want to hear this.
[recorder beeps]
[unknown voice through
headset] Destroy the Hays Code.
Right?
Give it a listen.
-Play that back for her.
-[Wily] Okay.
[unknown voice through
headset] Destroy the Hays Code.
Sure sounds like it,
but it's kind of faint.
Yeah, well, Harold once told me
that he thought this place was haunted.
What?
[with accent] I want to suck your blood.
That's Dracula, you goof.
[thud]
-[creaking]
What was that?
I don't know.
-[Wily] It's the fucking ghost.
-Wait, wait, wait. Be quiet.
[thud]
Dude. Dude.
It's the fucking movie.
-Oh, my God.
-[Chuckles]
-Yeah.
-[Jake] Jesus.
You guys know that this building
once burned down in the '30s?
-Really?
-Yeah.
It was back when they still had
nitrate film, which was highly flammable.
Happened during a screening,
actually. They were doing a double bill
of The Thin Man and After The Thin Man,
and it was halfway
through the second feature
that the fire broke out
in the projection booth.
The people didn't even
realize that there was a fire.
They, they all just started shouting
and booing to get the movie going again.
And then a riot broke out.
It was during the scuffle the fire
spread and people got trapped inside.
Wait, people actually died here?
[Dan] Apparently. I
think, like, a dozen or so.
Man, that was crazy, man.
So, so, this place has, like, ghosts?
We should try and summon the spirits.
What, like, with a Ouija board?
No, with, like, a medium.
-[Wily] You know of any?
-[Dan] I have a friend of a friend who does.
You should try and get a hold of
him. We don't have much longer
to figure out if this place is haunted.
Okay, I'll give him a call.
But you guys need to
get back down on the floor.
There's a lady present here.
[scoffs] If you say so.
Ooh.
No, but it's always, "You guys"
and never, "You girls should get
back up on the floor," you know?
I mean, you walk around calling
people girls, people think you're weird,
but you say, "You
guys," no one bats an eye.
-Hey, you guys...
-Shut it, you fucking weasel.
All right, all right. This is
a battle for another day.
But for now, would all of you guys and gals
please get back down on the floor?
[sighs heavily] Okay.
But I'm not washing dishes.
[Jake] Fine.
-Wily will grab the dishes.
-[Wily] What?
I'm not even supposed to be here today.
[thud]
[ominous music]
[body thuds]
[matchstick strikes]
All right, let's all take a
deep breath and try to relax.
[inhales]
[exhales]
Okay.
Take some of the protection oil...
and put it on the back of your
neck to ward against evil spirits.
So, like, what kind of signs
would there be if spirits could, like,
be in the room with us right now?
[Vivienne] Well, what you want to look for
is things in your peripheral vision,
like light orbs and, and shadows.
[Dan] Okay.
Also, goosebumps are a sign.
[Dan] Mm. Interesting.
Also, if the room gets
cold, that's another sign.
Oh, well, maybe we should
turn off the air conditioning.
-I'm already cold.
-Oh.
Should we turn on the heat? Is it...
Guys, guys, come on.
Be serious. Pay attention.
Okay, okay.
Are we set?
[softly] Yeah.
[Vivienne softly] Okay
[slow instrumental music]
Light into dark, turning.
Luck be in the burning.
With the ringing of the bell...
[bell ringing] -...let's
hope to lift the spell.
One, two, three.
Let us all be able to see.
Now, who are we summoning?
I had a dog I loved once.
Well, I've been told that
this building is haunted.
I see.
You see somebody?
I...
I sense an emotional imprint.
They're laughing and, and they're...
Something's funny.
Wait, "They"?
And something about a man on a diet.
Yeah, they were here for a
screening of The Thin Man.
Oh.
Did you see that movie
Nightmare on Elm Street?
[chuckles] Y... yeah, of course.
Well, there was this one time I got food
poisoning while watching Freddy's Dead,
so I never actually watched
the whole thing. [Chuckles]
[laughing] But, man, that shit
was coming out of both ends.
Ew. Gross. TMI.
Wait, which one of those
had Kevin Bacon in it?
You're thinking of Friday
the 13th. That's Jason.
-Really?
-Mm-hm.
Oh. Well, I guess I haven't
seen any of the Freddy movies.
What?
-[Scoffs] Okay, wait.
You know what Freddy looks like, right?
[scoffs] Yeah.
They look like Freddy. They're burnt.
And this building burned down in the '30s.
-[Vivienne] Oh.
-[Jake whispering] Oh, my God.
That's why they're all
wearing antique clothing.
Are they saying anything?
They're saying you need to
leave this place immediately.
You're all in grave danger.
Well, we're all getting fired in a few
days, so chances are that's what that is.
No. No, no, no.
If you don't leave this place,
they're saying you're all going to die.
[suspenseful music]
[thudding]
-[Jake] Oh, fuck.
[Dan] What the fuck?
-[Light bulb ignites]
[screaming]
[laughing] You numskull.
It's the KKK, baby.
[softly] Oh, Jesus Christ.
[organ stinger]
[man 1 in movie] Hey, hey.
What'd I tell you before, huh? Huh?
[popcorn crunching]
-Call me Maverick.
-[man 2] Anyway, here's your package.
-[man 1] Hey, all right, man.
I have no idea what this is. You
see, sometimes I just get shit-faced
and order some stuff on
the online. EBays and shit...
Man, it's just been so long since I've
seen something in the theater. I just...
I don't even know how to feel anymore.
I know.
-Was popcorn always this dry?
-Shh.
[man 1] Yeah, fuck it, bro, right
now. I can always find a spot for that.
You should shush him next
time. See how he likes it.
I was thinking about doing that,
but he wasn't making a sound.
-We can do it at the same time if you want.
-Yeah.
On three. On three.
-Two. Three.
-Two.
-Shh...
-[movie continues playing]
Hey, Wily, can I grab a refill?
Yeah. No problem.
So, how are you enjoying the movie?
It's not bad. Yeah.
So... you're really closing
the theater this weekend, huh?
Yeah.
It's a shame. I'm really
going to miss this place.
It's got me through
some pretty tough times.
-[chuckles] I hear you. Same here.
-Yeah.
Mm. Hey, but you've been coming to
this place for as long as I can remember.
[chuckles] I mean, I remember
seeing you around here
before I even started working here.
Well, I used to just come
here just to see the movies.
Yeah, you know, I'm
what they call a regular.
But I didn't start coming
here until my husband died.
He passed from cancer.
I was completely lost.
He was, he was my best friend.
[sighs] I was all alone,
and felt I had nowhere to go.
And one day, I was just
reading through the newspaper
and I saw an ad for something
that was playing here.
So I decided to go to the movies.
[somber music]
Took me a long time to get
over the passing of my husband.
Not exactly over it. I guess you never do.
But I started coming here every
week just to see what was playing.
And it kept me going. It gave me something
to do, something to look forward to.
Kept my mind off the troubles I was having.
Made me feel less alone.
Guess I'll see you around.
Till then, save me a seat?
[intense music]
[thuds]
-Hey.
-Hey.
Where's, uh, Wily and Nick?
Oh, they texted me
saying they couldn't make it.
[suspenseful music]
[eerie music]
Guess those guys are too cool for school.
-Hm.
-Should we head up to the balcony?
So, I guess this is it. Last night.
[Val] Well, we've still
got a couple of days.
Yeah, but I mean,
like, the last night for us.
Last night we get to enjoy the theater.
So, what movie did you bring?
Me and You and Everyone We Know.
[laughs] I love that one.
-[Jake] I've never seen.
-It's good.
The opening sequence is surreal.
Dude lights his hand on fire.
Miranda July's monologue too.
Oh. Yeah.
It's so funny, and sad,
and deep, awkward all at the same time.
[Val] Still kind of crazy how
she foresaw that the Internet
-would have such an impact on our lives.
-Guys, spoilers.
-I haven't seen the movie yet.
-[chuckles] Don't worry.
We're not ruining anything.
Did you know she was a sex worker?
Miranda July?
Yeah, she had quite a varied career.
-[Rachel chuckles]
-Performance artist, novelist.
She had a spoken word record
come out on K Records too.
It was the only tattoo
that Kurt Cobain ever had.
[Jake] The K Records logo?
Yeah.
Well...
shall we?
[Val and Rachel chuckle]
[Rachel sighs]
[serene music]
[indistinct chatter in movie]
[female burglar] We
don't want to hurt anyone.
We just want the money.
[clattering]
[male burglar] Give us
the money in the safe.
-Put it all in the bag!
-Okay.
[male burglar] Keep going!
-[female burglar] Okay, let's go!
-[Val shudders]
Winston, Cecelia.
[clock ticking]
Sorry, Miss Valerie.
It's okay. You need this more than us.
[gasping]
[tense music]
[male officer] What were
the assailants wearing?
[Val] Um, hooded sweatshirts and jeans.
[male officer] Did you
recognize the assailants?
No.
They were wearing ski masks.
[male officer] Okay.
I think we have all the
information we need for now.
If you think of anything else,
please don't hesitate to contact us.
-[female officer] We'll be in touch.
-[Dan] Thanks.
[Dan] Are you going to be okay?
[Val] Yeah, I think so.
[Dan] I can't believe that happened.
[Val] Harold is gonna be pissed.
[Dan] Yeah, if he even calls me back.
I'm surprised he's not
here right now, freaking out.
You know that's not
what's important, right?
Your safety is what's important.
You know, it's his own damn fault
for leaving all his savings in the vault.
[Val] I guess he's really
gonna need the money
from selling the theater now.
-Hey.
-Hey.
Um, so, are you gonna come
to my show next weekend?
-[snickers] Yeah, sure.
-[Chuckles] Cool.
-What's your band called, again?
-Oh, The Drive-In Mutants.
-[snickers] That's sick.
-[Both laugh]
You know, I was a
musician myself in my youth.
-Really?
-Yeah.
I played guitar. [Inhales sharply]
We did a bit of touring.
Opened up for Iggy Pop once.
-Holy shit. What did you guys sound like?
-[Val laughing]
Uh, I guess we were kind
of like a riot grrrl [sic] band.
Though we came around well
after that movement had ended.
I guess you could say
that was our main influence.
Bands like L7.
[Rachel] Detroit band?
No, the other one.
You know about the Detroit one?
[both laugh]
Okay, yes, but only because
they had a recent reissue.
-Oh, that's awesome.
-[Chuckles]
-What's your band sound like?
-Oh, um,
-we're mostly score-driven.
-[Clicking]
-Like movie score stuff?
-Yeah.
And we dress up like monsters
from Creature Features.
[chuckles] That's awesome.
[chuckles] -I can't wait to see it.
[Rachel] Hm.
[groans] Something's up with the fuse.
I gotta go check it.
Okay, um, I'm gonna head out.
All right. See you.
Hey.
Are you okay?
After what happened earlier.
Yeah.
It's just, you know, that
you continued to work.
Ohh...
the theater needed me.
All right, get out of here.
And be safe getting home.
Okay. Thanks.
[sighs]
[objects clattering]
[slow instrumental music]
I don't know what's up with Wily and Nick.
Yeah, I can't say I blame 'em.
Probably just didn't want to
go down with the sinking ship.
Yeah, but I can't say it
doesn't hurt a little, though.
I expected more from them.
Well, the show must go on.
[Dan snickers]
You're not gonna believe this.
[indistinct chatter]
[laughter]
[Jake] We're gonna need more snacks.
[Rachel] You wanted just one?
There you go. Enjoy the show.
Hi.
Just one?
[Rachel] There you go. Enjoy the show.
Hi, there. Just one?
-There you go. Enjoy the show.
-[Val laughing]
[woman] Awesome. Thank you.
[Dan] I guess people do care.
[Val] We better help out Rachel and Jake.
[Dan] Good idea. I'll take
the floor, you take the stand.
Got it.
[upbeat music]
[muted]
[muted]
[projector whirring]
[both sigh]
Whoo! [Chuckles]
[audience exclaiming]
[audience laughing]
[Dan sighs]
[man in movie grunting]
[audience laughing]
-[woman in audience gasps]
-[man in movie] I'm sorry.
[man in movie sighs]
[gunshots]
-[audience yelling]
[suspenseful music]
[woman screaming]
[rock music]
[neck snaps]
[gunshot]
-[thuds]
-Run.
-[Woman shrieks]
[crowd cheering]
Well, I guess the silver lining
with this being the last day and all
is that we don't have
to clean up this mess.
[Val] We can't leave this place like this.
Why not?
Fuck this place. I'm out.
[Dan chortles]
-Okay.
[fly buzzing]
[suspenseful music]
[eagle screeches]
Hi.
We know this is
supposed to be the last day,
and with everything that just went on...
we all pulled together and decided
that there's just no way we can let
this place become something else.
Hi, Miss Valerie.
[bag crunching]
[Dan chuckles]
[organ music]
[Rachel laughing] Oh, my God.
[Val gasps]
[laughter]
[crowd cheering]
Geez. Get a fucking room.
Bad news is that now we're
gonna have to clean up.
[Rachel] Shit.
Don't worry, we'll pitch in.
Well, should we grab a beer?
Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.
-Thankfully, none of us have to open tomorrow.
-[Rachel snickers]
When do you think we are going to reopen?
I mean, we are co-owners
now. We're calling the shots.
Let's worry about that later
and just enjoy the moment.
[Dan snickers]
Cinema lives.
[Rachel chuckles]
[Sadie] I don't know why I get all
this attention from you, Mr. Davidson.
I guess you mean well.
I think I can worry along as I've been
worrying along for these several years.
I've gone my own way
and don't ask any favors.
[Alfred] Those who have the
key of salvation offered them
and fail to open the
door must be destroyed.
[Sadie] Oh, I see what you
mean, but I won't get destroyed.
I always make out one way or another.
[slow instrumental music]
[gentle music]
[organ music]