Mr. Vampire III (1987) Movie Script
1
This house is only
one-year-old
But during the year
None of my family
could stay in bed till the morning
We had been thrown
to the floor by ghosts
A man who throws other people
around is a bad man
A ghost who throws other people
around is a mean ghost
You could be a bad man too but...
With me here,
you will fear no mean ghosts
You're the 10th
Taoist who said this
The former 9 could do nothing
9 out of 10 Taoists
are unreliable
I'm the 10th
The design on the
bank draft is beautiful
Take this
Let's get down to talk
I, Mao,
am commissioned to clean up the household
Hocus Pocus Alexan.
It works
This wax umbrella placates
all spirits
Here, take that.
Rituals are now over
Repent, or I'll knock you down
You're unworthy of any respect
Wait and see
Don't jump
The ghost's not yet out
Is he dead?
You're still alive?
Hsi Pao, help me
Damn ghostie!
Don't
Don't shoot here
Don't shoot, it's fatal
Let go, let go
Stop acting!
Have you had enough?
But you told us to make it look real
Yes, but not like this!
I don't ask you to bite and shoot me
Go out now
Help!
Go over there
Go over
Uncle Ming, don't!
Don't you dare make fun of me?
Don't!
Still alive?
Help, help!
Cover his face
with paper money
Paper money?
Stick it on their forehead
How much do you used?
50 Tael.
Not enough, he may move.
Use 500 taels.
Sonny, come here.
When I count to 3,
open this umbrella.
Keep away, keep away.
1, 2, 3...
Good, it's nearly dawn and
this umbrella folded!
You won't be thrown
to the floor any more.
Thank you, sonny.
Really?
I assure you,
you'll be alright.
Go in and fix everything.
Yes, master.
It was a female ghost.
we saw.
Female ghost?
Ghosts can change to anything.
Bad ghost!
Mr Priest, help me.
Go in.
Tell me.
I'm speaking on
behalf of others.
Tell me.
Men live on earth,
ghosts live in hell.
Why are you messing
things up?
Only because...
he messed up things first.
He built the house
on our family grave.
We suffers badly..
with the weight on us
But you're molesting
a whole family.
My grandpa and grandma...
suffer too.
And so do my daddy, mom and brother...
Enough, enough.
Sorry, buddy.
I didn't do it purposely
Don't be afraid
Throw it away.
Sorry, sorry.
Come and lend me a hand.
Come on.
Hello, miss.
Hello, auntie.
Good, she's friendly.
Uncle, hello.
Come on.
Go quick!
Go quick!
Hurry up!
Hurry up. Hurry Ming.
Let go. No one now.
What now, Uncle Ming?
We can't stay anymore.
Let's go somewhere.
Start now?
I'll go into hiding.
What are you doing?
I'm scared.
What a chicken!
Go now.
Why is it deserted?
What happened?
Coming at this hour,
you must be a bad man.
Are you a thug?
Tell me.
Silence means "yes".
Are you a member
of the horse thieves
.
Silence means "yes".
Are you a spy here?
Speak up!
Yes or no?
Captain, don't!
You may kill him.
Would you die if I go on?
Speak up!
Silence means "yes".
Let go then
Don't kill him.
Speak up.
Where are we?
You were talking to yourself!
Don't ask then.
Bring him to justice now!
Master.
We can't, without evidence.
Evidence?
Search.
Go away. Let me.
What's inside the umbrella?
Can't be opened.
Why not?
One shouldn't open
an umbrella under a roof.
Priest, why have you chosen
to come at this hour?
Why not?
They say horse thieves are coming
Coming, coming!
They have already crossed the river.
Now they've reached the woods.
Are we ready?
Yes!
Start at once!
The old stay,
the young follow me.
Don't move outside this inn
Or you'll be shot on sight!
Close the door.
Put out the flame!
Coming, coming!
Let's go!
Come.
Charge!
Surround him!
Surround them!
Pull him down!
Don't let him get away!
Withdraw, withdraw!
Let's go!
Don't be afraid!
Buddy, let's follow them!
Hurry up!
Come on!
Don't let him get away!
Chop, chop!
Master, I can't
chop him down!
Black magic only,
chopping won't work.
Chopping and pulling
at the same time!
Use blood to lure blood!
Spare some for me!
Eagle Head!
Chiang, pee on it!
Master, I can't.
a blusterous night!
Use mine!
Use his?
Watch out!
Master!
Master!
What are you doing?
Give chase.
What?
Where to?
She got away.
This blood is
different in color.
Fresh blood is different in thickness.
They must be magicians
Magician? What magician?
From a Taoist viewpoint,
Ordinary people won't understand.
Ordinary people?
You too, but you're better.
They sleep outdoors and drink blood.
They eat venom and drink dew.
They are no ordinary people.
They do things not
done by ordinary people.
Such as raping and robbing.
If I'm not mistaken,
this blood clot's poisoned.
What if you're mistaken?
I won't, I'm always right.
Guess how I feel?
Itchy?
Wrong.
You're right,
I do feel itchy.
Uncle, how are we
to dispose of those 2?
Put them in jail.
And the dead? Have them buried?
Take them home if you prefer..
Let's go.
Let's go quick
Go in.
Watch here.
I'll get treatment for master.
Get a bamboo tube
from the storage room first.
What are you doing?
Get going.
Master...
Why did you do that?
Just to show my valor.
You deserve punishment.
Go in and get a bamboo tube, quick.
Thank you, Uncle.
You're welcome.
Master, let me.
Master, where are you going?
Pissing, okay?
Yes, yes!
Fix it yourself.
Uncle.
How's it?
Ok!
Chiang.
Come on!
Master...
The commode?
Broken
Master's child urine
is better than a spell.
Dark yellowish. Are you suffering
from dyspepsia, Master?
Uncle, have some tea.
You must be thirsty.
What are you
hiding behind it?
Nothing.
What is this?
Pour some for me.
Are you thirsty?
Take this.
What for?
Buy a gift...
for Uncle's birthday.
You go and buy it.
What can you buy with $2?
Use your head.
This is yours.
Wear it carefully
There's no spare.
It's beautiful.
It's creased
I can't wear it.
It got creased
when i put it on.
This is yours.
It's creased
How can I wear it?
Well, I'll burn you an iron.
You sure are more
demanding than man.
Beautiful
Pass me the iron.
Iron it for me.
I'll go down
Join me after you finish.
Iron, iron.
What a relief.
Master, please.
Captain.
Well, where's the gift?
Here...
What's this?
Why?
You gave me $2 only.
$1 for the bag,
the other as lucky money
What's this?
This I bought for myself.
What?
What about your gift for Uncle?
Don't...
You must!
Why stand there?
Don't be in the way!
Captain!
Shall I punish him for you?
No, I'm only after money.
Go and eat.
Okay.
Cheers, cheers...
Don't stand on ceremony.
Why is comrade Hung still not here?
When you speak of the devil,
the devil appears.
Uncle, happy birthday.
Take this.
What's this?
Yes, a foreign moon cake.
Uncle, put them out.
You want my master...
to perform rites??
It's a good omen.
Uncle, put them out.
Once the candles are out,
he has lots of kids.
My master has no son.
He treats me like
his own son.
Good, good.
Happy birthday to you...
Many, many happy returns...
Not this song.
Which one?
There's none..
like my master.
Lucky is the one who
has such a master.
Well, cheers!
Master, cheers.
Cheers.
Chiang, what have
you got for master?
Master, take this.
Let me see.
Don't open it now.
Have a look.
Guess what it is?
So small, must be jade.
Is it jade?
It's unimportant.
Take the big one..
Master...
You're okay
Captain, let's go for a patrol.
What's in this box?
It was jade, this must be gold.
Is it?
This time I'm finished
Gold?
Gold?
Uncle seldom laughs
like that.
Yes.
Last year, many people died
laughing like that.
I'm serious.
There's a knife hidden in that laughter.
Master, this is not
good for playing.
I'll buy something
good for you.
No need to come here
Just go home and
play with me.
Sonny, you must be joking.
Forget the unpleasant incident.
Cheers.
You brats!
Stay!
How dare you tease me?
Stay there! I'm getting hungry!
I told you I bought it for myself.
Did you send it to Uncle?
You said it was okay
Don't take it out on us.
Something exciting!
Come quick!!
Why are you so late?
It tastes good.
It tastes real good.
You have no family ethics.
What?
I don't mean you.
Who do you mean then?
You alone are hogging 3 seats
Finished?
No, food has just arrived.
You've finished!
Listen...
Yes?
I give you two choices.
First, return to your room now.
Second...
Go to hell!
What's the second choice?
To plunge down the way I do.
Plunge down?
Have you seen it?
Captain.
What are you doing?
Something wrong
Cling close to me
Captain, what are you doing?
Forget what you've seen here.
Captain, we can't stand that!
Master, master!
Trying to run?
What do you want?
What do you mean?
So the Captain is playing acrobatics.
Good, good!
Why's it so noisy down below?
So exciting, must be a big party.
The Captain's swallowing chopsticks.
Bravo, bravo.
Only kid stuff.
Anything heavier?
Yes. Is this okay?
Perfectly, Uncle!
How's it?
Captain, try it.
No? Let me help you.
Something exciting.
What are you doing?
What do you want?
Don't, don't.
Master, help!
Don't, don't go over.
Miss, I didn't want this to happen!
Go down!
It's fun.
Go now!
Bad!
Uncle Ming, help me.
Brother, what are you doing?
Let me, let me.
Don't!
This way.
Come on.
Let me.
Help me.
Hurry up.
Harder, come on.
This is mine
Come on!
Let's go back.
Master.
Chiang, bring some vermillion.
Master, no need to use spell.
Get a pan of oil to boil him.
So he'll never get reincarnated.
Don't go so far.
You are vengeful.
It's sad enough to be a stray ghost.
If he does no harm,
you'll be served...
If you do that to him.
Just now he hurt me
badly at the teahouse.
Why did he do that
to you only...
And not to the other guests?
You must have offended him.
No.
No?
No.
Put it in the room.
I'll shake you to death.
I'll shake you out of your wits.
Go in with me.
Master, what are you doing?
Come in.
Which one?
The jar which bears
"Kao Liang".
Ta Pao?
What?
Aren't you a ghost?
No, I'm Kao Liang
Let me out.
Never!
Ta Pao, Hsi Pao?
Could they be unconscious?
What if I did it wrong?
Let me take chances.
Thank you, master.
I'll be your darling then.
Let's go back early for a rest.
Are you looking for someone?
I've found him.
Can't do without it.
Let's go.
Let's go back early, okay?
Come in.
Brother, why are you doing that?
Master, he...
Which of us will speak first?
You.
Brother, this is no fun.
Chiang, where's that jar?
Over there.
Should be that one.
Chiang, return the jar to him.
Return it to him?
Have you the say,
or have I?
I have the say, but you decide?
Return it to him.
We're brothers.
You know the 1st commandment in Taoism?
Yes, fight evil to the last.
Why are you keeping ghosts then?
You're keeping two.
To make a living only.
In this wide world.
It's not hard to make a living.
What did you do...
before they joined you??
Life was really hard or me then.
And after you kept them?
Harder still.
Good.
Ghosts are...
... unlucky.
They bring all...
... sorts of misery.
You won't do well...
.. mixing with them.
Right you are.
Return the jar to him.
You decide yourself.
Ok.
Master, why is it so strange?
Ghosts can see us,
but we can't see them.
Put tar on your body.
And they can't see you.
Really?
Can't I see you by washing
my eyes with pomelo leaf?
Uncle Ming.
Uncle Ming, what are you doing?
That priest is right.
South vs North.
As water and fire can't co-exist.
So can't man and ghost
Right, opponents don't coalesce.
Wrong. What about "One country, two systems"?
What does that mean?
As of tonight,
we'll go separately.
I we go the same way,
we'll be finished.
Doing the same thing
will be fruitless.
If we go together,
it won't end up well.
Luck's been against me since you followed me.
Uncle Ming, what's the
meaning of bad luck?
You ask too many questions.
Ta Pao, you're still brothers.
But when you return to mankind,
The water would obliterate your memory.
If you've anymore questions, ask now.
No more.
Uncle Ming.
Follow Ta Pao to the countryside.
When I've enough travel expenses,
I'll come to you.
Don't follow me anymore.
Uncle Ming.
Uncle Ming.
Who's it at this hour?
Thank you.
Get going.
Such strong body odor!!
You can smell it, but...
You can't see me with tar on my face.
The smell is getting stronger.
So he really can't see me.
Where does the smell come from?
Go? Still alive?
Help!
Uncle Ming!
Help, Uncle Ming.
Help!
Uncle Ming.
Are you still alive?
He's captured Ta Pao.
Ta Pao!
Help!
Uncle Ming, look.
Stay still.
Stay there and don't follow me.
Don't go away.
Still going?
Don't go.
Uncle Ming.
Hurry up.
He took away the body and the little ghost.
He must be using it to hurt men.
Impossible, Ta Pao is a good ghost.
If I shout loudly, he'll tremble.
Brother, are you alright?
Yes, but she kicked me...
& took away my robe.
I guess she was breaking into jail.
Chiang, come back to yamen at once!
Back to yamen!
Let me have vengeance on...
that demon girl.
Good.
Try to identify carefully.
Identify this...
Eagle.
Don't go...
All the cocks have been killed.
hens, widowed.
Brother, give me some.
Come on.
This bowl's small
Is it enough?
A hill's famous for the gods,
not for its height.
Blood depends on quality,
not quantity.
Wonder how many of them are coming?
It's safer to prepare a bigger quantity.
The blood may coagulate the moment they come.
Right
Kill them a little later.
This robe is not too suitable for tonight.
Why are you taking it off?
I have no more robe
Lend it to me.
Take it if you like.
I hope you'll be all right.
Now you look really presentable.
Wait for him here.
Go and answer the door.
Go now, don't be afraid.
The Nius have delivered
the congee, buddy.
What now?
It's become congee with chicken blood.
Pay me back!
Sorry, please bring it again.
I've never been well off.
Not enough money?
Ghost! Coming!
Don't be afraid.
Ta Pao, why have you become so ugly?
Don't be afraid
He knows me.
Ta Pao, what are you doing?
Ta Pao, Ta Pao.
What are you doing?
Out of your mind?
Go now!
Don't!
Why are you taking me of all men?
How come?
Take off your robe.
You'll be all right.
Why did you lend it to me?
You wanted to look presentable.
Not now. Help!
Help!
Let go!
Help!
Tell him to let me go. Help!
My bottom hurts. Help!
I'm finished
Help!
Help! Help!
Take it back.
Damn ghost!
How dare you bite me?
See if you can get away!
I can't see you, I can't.
Pull, pull.
Tighten the rope
I'll shut the gate.
Coming!
I can't hold on!
Pull it a little tighter!
I'm walking into my own trap!
Where's master?
Keep away!
Thanks to master's holy water.
Master...!
Keep away!
Master, where are you?
Help!
It itches badly!
Horrible!
It itches terribly!
Catch!
Come on!
Help!
Master, help!
Help, help!!
Up above.
Wild Boar!
I can't see you.
Good, they're killing each other.
Quick, quick
Catch!
Hold it!
Quick, quick
...
Master, can you beat her?
Guess.
Guess?
Just let us have the answer.
Can we go out..
If I'm not her match?
Don't guess
Try hard, master.
Trying to become invisible?
Even as a ghost
I won't let you go.
Why am I here?
What happened?
Uncle Ming,
you have a good poise.
Keep away!
What are you doing?
Go away, or I'll be nasty!
Go back...
And take Hsi Pao away
as far as possiblen.
I don't want to see you anymore.
Master, what now?
Treat the wounded,
bury the dead.
And the living?
Wait for death.
What?
Better cremate the dead once and for all.
How about coming to..
my place for treatment?
Okay, thank you.
We're wounded
We'll get treatment.
You take care of it here.
Fix it.
Fix the bodies.
We'll get wood.
You want me to go to the well at this hour?
No, fix those two above first.
Let's go.
Here's the wood.
Put it over here.
Fix it if it's not yet finished.
Fix it. That's all
Are you leaving us behind?
Leaving like that?
What's wrong?
It's best to make a clean pair of heels!
Untie it to let him die more comfortably.
Okay, untie it.
Master, dinner's ready.
Where's Uncle Ming?
In his room
I guess he can't come out.
Why?
You gave him an Instruction Manual on Taoism.
He spent the whole night
studying it without sleeping.
He's now unfit to come out.
Brother, let's go out for a drink.
Not a good time.
Glad you understand.
If we're really going out together...
It's really...
not a good time.
No good for everyone except you.
At least he helped you once.
You mean in jail?
I overpowered the female demon.
What's so funny?
I don't get you.
You feigned death on seeing the demon girl.
Come out and have a drink.
Master, please.
Come on.
Please.
Take your seat.
Why are you following me?
Take your seat.
Be seated, master.
Where's Uncle Ming?
He prefers to sit over there.
Auntie, you look pregnant.
You can see it so easily.
You're tops.
Master, please be seated.
Cheers!
Cheers!
Help yourself.
It tastes real good.
Look appetizing to you?
Yes.
Eat if you dare.
Brother Pao, come on.
Sorry
You'd better eat.
Going somewhere to cook a man's goose?
No, not men.
Ghosts.
Why is there no sign of Fu and Shou?
They've been out of sight for 2 days.
Speak of the devil and the devil appears.
The heels don't touch the ground.
Come and get yourself a seat.
Cheers!
Let's go to the storage room at once.
Why?
Fu and Shou will tell you.
What's it?
Disperse the crowd first.
All for tonight
There's an event here.
Only a joyful event.
Cheers!
You're dumb.
Why are you here?
Open wide your eyes!
Raise your foot!
Sorry for the
small portion tonight.
We'll make up some other night.
Uncle, why?
Ghost, buddy!
Ghost?
We can outnumber it.
Okay.
Follow me, everybody.
Let's go together
We're large in number.
Fu, Shou.
Watch them and I'll get the weapons.
It's alright
Don't run!
Don't be afraid
We won't hurt you!
Over there.
Close the door.
There's a magic mirror upstairs.
I'll go and get it.
Close the window!
Hold it!
Lend me a hand!
Get a shrine for protection.
Spare one for me!
Don't scramble.
No more.
Give it to me.
Give it to me.
Use the shrine to hold it.
Let's not run.
Unity is strength.
Unity is strength.
Strength...
Strength, strength!
Shrine, shrine.
Don't block the entrance
Coming!
Lend a hand, quick!
Chiang, Te, come and lend a hand!
Brother, come and help me.
Take this!
The reversal of the Five Elements?
Yes, come here.
It's alright.
What's it so noisy outside?
It's all right.
He's obedient.
Help, help, master!!
Help, master!
Help!
Chiang, bring me the wine.
Fu, Shou.
How did you get possessed?
We were alone that night..
after they left
While lighting the fire, we saw 2 spirits.
We can't remember what happened later.
What about that one in the well?
Still lying there, unsalvaged.
The coin-sword's still stabbed on her.
What if he's no longer there?
He'll come to see you first of all.
What then?
Go in and get the bag.
Te, get nine black dogs.
Then wait for me at the yamen.
Chiang, show the talisman.
No, it protects us only for a short time.
I want to fry him with a pan.
I know, a fried ghost.
Fu, Shou, you go back first.
We don't need you here.
Chiang, seal the spells on the doors and windows.
Yes, master!
I'll go and help him.
Appetizing.
very appetizing.
Bad, there are spells everywhere.
Don't seal it
Leave an exit for Uncle Ming.
For me? What about you?
We must rush to the well.
to stop a zombie.
Me alone to fry the ghost?
I may not make it.
You must
If you fail and...
He comes out,
he'll harm mankind.
I have this tar left.
I don't hope you need to use it.
Good against evil,
I'll do my best.
Let's go.
I really admire you.
Please accept my saluation.
Better sacrifice him...
to save the whole village.
Hope they're backing against Heaven.
Why?
With backs against Heaven,
the spirits won't change.
What if the potbelly is facing Heaven?
With potbelly against
Heaven, he's herculean.
With backs against Heaven,
we'll be lucky.
I'm Coming..
The bitches too?
I want black puppies only.
That's all I've got
from the whole village.
It may not be strong enough.
Master, use your magic
power to correct it.
You two go and salvage the bodies first.
Both of us?
Yes, go now.
Go over.
Go now.
Chiang, keep an eye on me.
In case there's danger,
go down the well & shout.
Go down.
Master, you must protect me.
I will.
Master, let me stare at you once more.
Enough?
The coin-sword's broken!
Don't pull.
Go up at once.
Master, it's broken.
A zombie...!
Help!
Help!
Grasp my hand at once.
Come to my rescue!
Dead...
Let's go.
Hurry up.
Bad, let's hurry back home!
Bad, it's not yet boiling!
Uncle Ming, how's it inside?
I have no way out myself.
Let's take chances!
Pao, don't!
Pao, you're brave.
Quiet!!
Fry them all the same!
Bad, only medium rare!
Which bastard locked the door?
Help!
Tar?
Come, and I'll spill on you
Let's go
Keep away, or I'll fry him!
Try, if you throw it,
I'll fry him too.
Get going!
Don't act tough.
I can be nasty too!
Pao!
Hsi Pao!
Where's master?
Master, master..!
Pao, pao
Quiet, quiet!
Don't
Uncle, what now?
I have a way out.
Uncle Ming, bear with it.
You'll be alright.
This may kill Uncle Ming.
The only way is to use
a soul to lure to the spirit.
Let me.
If you fail, your spirit will disperse.
To save Uncle Ming,
we must take chances.
Pao.
All right.
Go and lend a hand.
We nearly made it!
Come on, we nearly made it!
Are you two all right?
It's alright,
Our spirits are intact.
What about yours?
Me? I'm all right too!
Great! Everybody's fine.
I'm not all right...!
This house is only
one-year-old
But during the year
None of my family
could stay in bed till the morning
We had been thrown
to the floor by ghosts
A man who throws other people
around is a bad man
A ghost who throws other people
around is a mean ghost
You could be a bad man too but...
With me here,
you will fear no mean ghosts
You're the 10th
Taoist who said this
The former 9 could do nothing
9 out of 10 Taoists
are unreliable
I'm the 10th
The design on the
bank draft is beautiful
Take this
Let's get down to talk
I, Mao,
am commissioned to clean up the household
Hocus Pocus Alexan.
It works
This wax umbrella placates
all spirits
Here, take that.
Rituals are now over
Repent, or I'll knock you down
You're unworthy of any respect
Wait and see
Don't jump
The ghost's not yet out
Is he dead?
You're still alive?
Hsi Pao, help me
Damn ghostie!
Don't
Don't shoot here
Don't shoot, it's fatal
Let go, let go
Stop acting!
Have you had enough?
But you told us to make it look real
Yes, but not like this!
I don't ask you to bite and shoot me
Go out now
Help!
Go over there
Go over
Uncle Ming, don't!
Don't you dare make fun of me?
Don't!
Still alive?
Help, help!
Cover his face
with paper money
Paper money?
Stick it on their forehead
How much do you used?
50 Tael.
Not enough, he may move.
Use 500 taels.
Sonny, come here.
When I count to 3,
open this umbrella.
Keep away, keep away.
1, 2, 3...
Good, it's nearly dawn and
this umbrella folded!
You won't be thrown
to the floor any more.
Thank you, sonny.
Really?
I assure you,
you'll be alright.
Go in and fix everything.
Yes, master.
It was a female ghost.
we saw.
Female ghost?
Ghosts can change to anything.
Bad ghost!
Mr Priest, help me.
Go in.
Tell me.
I'm speaking on
behalf of others.
Tell me.
Men live on earth,
ghosts live in hell.
Why are you messing
things up?
Only because...
he messed up things first.
He built the house
on our family grave.
We suffers badly..
with the weight on us
But you're molesting
a whole family.
My grandpa and grandma...
suffer too.
And so do my daddy, mom and brother...
Enough, enough.
Sorry, buddy.
I didn't do it purposely
Don't be afraid
Throw it away.
Sorry, sorry.
Come and lend me a hand.
Come on.
Hello, miss.
Hello, auntie.
Good, she's friendly.
Uncle, hello.
Come on.
Go quick!
Go quick!
Hurry up!
Hurry up. Hurry Ming.
Let go. No one now.
What now, Uncle Ming?
We can't stay anymore.
Let's go somewhere.
Start now?
I'll go into hiding.
What are you doing?
I'm scared.
What a chicken!
Go now.
Why is it deserted?
What happened?
Coming at this hour,
you must be a bad man.
Are you a thug?
Tell me.
Silence means "yes".
Are you a member
of the horse thieves
.
Silence means "yes".
Are you a spy here?
Speak up!
Yes or no?
Captain, don't!
You may kill him.
Would you die if I go on?
Speak up!
Silence means "yes".
Let go then
Don't kill him.
Speak up.
Where are we?
You were talking to yourself!
Don't ask then.
Bring him to justice now!
Master.
We can't, without evidence.
Evidence?
Search.
Go away. Let me.
What's inside the umbrella?
Can't be opened.
Why not?
One shouldn't open
an umbrella under a roof.
Priest, why have you chosen
to come at this hour?
Why not?
They say horse thieves are coming
Coming, coming!
They have already crossed the river.
Now they've reached the woods.
Are we ready?
Yes!
Start at once!
The old stay,
the young follow me.
Don't move outside this inn
Or you'll be shot on sight!
Close the door.
Put out the flame!
Coming, coming!
Let's go!
Come.
Charge!
Surround him!
Surround them!
Pull him down!
Don't let him get away!
Withdraw, withdraw!
Let's go!
Don't be afraid!
Buddy, let's follow them!
Hurry up!
Come on!
Don't let him get away!
Chop, chop!
Master, I can't
chop him down!
Black magic only,
chopping won't work.
Chopping and pulling
at the same time!
Use blood to lure blood!
Spare some for me!
Eagle Head!
Chiang, pee on it!
Master, I can't.
a blusterous night!
Use mine!
Use his?
Watch out!
Master!
Master!
What are you doing?
Give chase.
What?
Where to?
She got away.
This blood is
different in color.
Fresh blood is different in thickness.
They must be magicians
Magician? What magician?
From a Taoist viewpoint,
Ordinary people won't understand.
Ordinary people?
You too, but you're better.
They sleep outdoors and drink blood.
They eat venom and drink dew.
They are no ordinary people.
They do things not
done by ordinary people.
Such as raping and robbing.
If I'm not mistaken,
this blood clot's poisoned.
What if you're mistaken?
I won't, I'm always right.
Guess how I feel?
Itchy?
Wrong.
You're right,
I do feel itchy.
Uncle, how are we
to dispose of those 2?
Put them in jail.
And the dead? Have them buried?
Take them home if you prefer..
Let's go.
Let's go quick
Go in.
Watch here.
I'll get treatment for master.
Get a bamboo tube
from the storage room first.
What are you doing?
Get going.
Master...
Why did you do that?
Just to show my valor.
You deserve punishment.
Go in and get a bamboo tube, quick.
Thank you, Uncle.
You're welcome.
Master, let me.
Master, where are you going?
Pissing, okay?
Yes, yes!
Fix it yourself.
Uncle.
How's it?
Ok!
Chiang.
Come on!
Master...
The commode?
Broken
Master's child urine
is better than a spell.
Dark yellowish. Are you suffering
from dyspepsia, Master?
Uncle, have some tea.
You must be thirsty.
What are you
hiding behind it?
Nothing.
What is this?
Pour some for me.
Are you thirsty?
Take this.
What for?
Buy a gift...
for Uncle's birthday.
You go and buy it.
What can you buy with $2?
Use your head.
This is yours.
Wear it carefully
There's no spare.
It's beautiful.
It's creased
I can't wear it.
It got creased
when i put it on.
This is yours.
It's creased
How can I wear it?
Well, I'll burn you an iron.
You sure are more
demanding than man.
Beautiful
Pass me the iron.
Iron it for me.
I'll go down
Join me after you finish.
Iron, iron.
What a relief.
Master, please.
Captain.
Well, where's the gift?
Here...
What's this?
Why?
You gave me $2 only.
$1 for the bag,
the other as lucky money
What's this?
This I bought for myself.
What?
What about your gift for Uncle?
Don't...
You must!
Why stand there?
Don't be in the way!
Captain!
Shall I punish him for you?
No, I'm only after money.
Go and eat.
Okay.
Cheers, cheers...
Don't stand on ceremony.
Why is comrade Hung still not here?
When you speak of the devil,
the devil appears.
Uncle, happy birthday.
Take this.
What's this?
Yes, a foreign moon cake.
Uncle, put them out.
You want my master...
to perform rites??
It's a good omen.
Uncle, put them out.
Once the candles are out,
he has lots of kids.
My master has no son.
He treats me like
his own son.
Good, good.
Happy birthday to you...
Many, many happy returns...
Not this song.
Which one?
There's none..
like my master.
Lucky is the one who
has such a master.
Well, cheers!
Master, cheers.
Cheers.
Chiang, what have
you got for master?
Master, take this.
Let me see.
Don't open it now.
Have a look.
Guess what it is?
So small, must be jade.
Is it jade?
It's unimportant.
Take the big one..
Master...
You're okay
Captain, let's go for a patrol.
What's in this box?
It was jade, this must be gold.
Is it?
This time I'm finished
Gold?
Gold?
Uncle seldom laughs
like that.
Yes.
Last year, many people died
laughing like that.
I'm serious.
There's a knife hidden in that laughter.
Master, this is not
good for playing.
I'll buy something
good for you.
No need to come here
Just go home and
play with me.
Sonny, you must be joking.
Forget the unpleasant incident.
Cheers.
You brats!
Stay!
How dare you tease me?
Stay there! I'm getting hungry!
I told you I bought it for myself.
Did you send it to Uncle?
You said it was okay
Don't take it out on us.
Something exciting!
Come quick!!
Why are you so late?
It tastes good.
It tastes real good.
You have no family ethics.
What?
I don't mean you.
Who do you mean then?
You alone are hogging 3 seats
Finished?
No, food has just arrived.
You've finished!
Listen...
Yes?
I give you two choices.
First, return to your room now.
Second...
Go to hell!
What's the second choice?
To plunge down the way I do.
Plunge down?
Have you seen it?
Captain.
What are you doing?
Something wrong
Cling close to me
Captain, what are you doing?
Forget what you've seen here.
Captain, we can't stand that!
Master, master!
Trying to run?
What do you want?
What do you mean?
So the Captain is playing acrobatics.
Good, good!
Why's it so noisy down below?
So exciting, must be a big party.
The Captain's swallowing chopsticks.
Bravo, bravo.
Only kid stuff.
Anything heavier?
Yes. Is this okay?
Perfectly, Uncle!
How's it?
Captain, try it.
No? Let me help you.
Something exciting.
What are you doing?
What do you want?
Don't, don't.
Master, help!
Don't, don't go over.
Miss, I didn't want this to happen!
Go down!
It's fun.
Go now!
Bad!
Uncle Ming, help me.
Brother, what are you doing?
Let me, let me.
Don't!
This way.
Come on.
Let me.
Help me.
Hurry up.
Harder, come on.
This is mine
Come on!
Let's go back.
Master.
Chiang, bring some vermillion.
Master, no need to use spell.
Get a pan of oil to boil him.
So he'll never get reincarnated.
Don't go so far.
You are vengeful.
It's sad enough to be a stray ghost.
If he does no harm,
you'll be served...
If you do that to him.
Just now he hurt me
badly at the teahouse.
Why did he do that
to you only...
And not to the other guests?
You must have offended him.
No.
No?
No.
Put it in the room.
I'll shake you to death.
I'll shake you out of your wits.
Go in with me.
Master, what are you doing?
Come in.
Which one?
The jar which bears
"Kao Liang".
Ta Pao?
What?
Aren't you a ghost?
No, I'm Kao Liang
Let me out.
Never!
Ta Pao, Hsi Pao?
Could they be unconscious?
What if I did it wrong?
Let me take chances.
Thank you, master.
I'll be your darling then.
Let's go back early for a rest.
Are you looking for someone?
I've found him.
Can't do without it.
Let's go.
Let's go back early, okay?
Come in.
Brother, why are you doing that?
Master, he...
Which of us will speak first?
You.
Brother, this is no fun.
Chiang, where's that jar?
Over there.
Should be that one.
Chiang, return the jar to him.
Return it to him?
Have you the say,
or have I?
I have the say, but you decide?
Return it to him.
We're brothers.
You know the 1st commandment in Taoism?
Yes, fight evil to the last.
Why are you keeping ghosts then?
You're keeping two.
To make a living only.
In this wide world.
It's not hard to make a living.
What did you do...
before they joined you??
Life was really hard or me then.
And after you kept them?
Harder still.
Good.
Ghosts are...
... unlucky.
They bring all...
... sorts of misery.
You won't do well...
.. mixing with them.
Right you are.
Return the jar to him.
You decide yourself.
Ok.
Master, why is it so strange?
Ghosts can see us,
but we can't see them.
Put tar on your body.
And they can't see you.
Really?
Can't I see you by washing
my eyes with pomelo leaf?
Uncle Ming.
Uncle Ming, what are you doing?
That priest is right.
South vs North.
As water and fire can't co-exist.
So can't man and ghost
Right, opponents don't coalesce.
Wrong. What about "One country, two systems"?
What does that mean?
As of tonight,
we'll go separately.
I we go the same way,
we'll be finished.
Doing the same thing
will be fruitless.
If we go together,
it won't end up well.
Luck's been against me since you followed me.
Uncle Ming, what's the
meaning of bad luck?
You ask too many questions.
Ta Pao, you're still brothers.
But when you return to mankind,
The water would obliterate your memory.
If you've anymore questions, ask now.
No more.
Uncle Ming.
Follow Ta Pao to the countryside.
When I've enough travel expenses,
I'll come to you.
Don't follow me anymore.
Uncle Ming.
Uncle Ming.
Who's it at this hour?
Thank you.
Get going.
Such strong body odor!!
You can smell it, but...
You can't see me with tar on my face.
The smell is getting stronger.
So he really can't see me.
Where does the smell come from?
Go? Still alive?
Help!
Uncle Ming!
Help, Uncle Ming.
Help!
Uncle Ming.
Are you still alive?
He's captured Ta Pao.
Ta Pao!
Help!
Uncle Ming, look.
Stay still.
Stay there and don't follow me.
Don't go away.
Still going?
Don't go.
Uncle Ming.
Hurry up.
He took away the body and the little ghost.
He must be using it to hurt men.
Impossible, Ta Pao is a good ghost.
If I shout loudly, he'll tremble.
Brother, are you alright?
Yes, but she kicked me...
& took away my robe.
I guess she was breaking into jail.
Chiang, come back to yamen at once!
Back to yamen!
Let me have vengeance on...
that demon girl.
Good.
Try to identify carefully.
Identify this...
Eagle.
Don't go...
All the cocks have been killed.
hens, widowed.
Brother, give me some.
Come on.
This bowl's small
Is it enough?
A hill's famous for the gods,
not for its height.
Blood depends on quality,
not quantity.
Wonder how many of them are coming?
It's safer to prepare a bigger quantity.
The blood may coagulate the moment they come.
Right
Kill them a little later.
This robe is not too suitable for tonight.
Why are you taking it off?
I have no more robe
Lend it to me.
Take it if you like.
I hope you'll be all right.
Now you look really presentable.
Wait for him here.
Go and answer the door.
Go now, don't be afraid.
The Nius have delivered
the congee, buddy.
What now?
It's become congee with chicken blood.
Pay me back!
Sorry, please bring it again.
I've never been well off.
Not enough money?
Ghost! Coming!
Don't be afraid.
Ta Pao, why have you become so ugly?
Don't be afraid
He knows me.
Ta Pao, what are you doing?
Ta Pao, Ta Pao.
What are you doing?
Out of your mind?
Go now!
Don't!
Why are you taking me of all men?
How come?
Take off your robe.
You'll be all right.
Why did you lend it to me?
You wanted to look presentable.
Not now. Help!
Help!
Let go!
Help!
Tell him to let me go. Help!
My bottom hurts. Help!
I'm finished
Help!
Help! Help!
Take it back.
Damn ghost!
How dare you bite me?
See if you can get away!
I can't see you, I can't.
Pull, pull.
Tighten the rope
I'll shut the gate.
Coming!
I can't hold on!
Pull it a little tighter!
I'm walking into my own trap!
Where's master?
Keep away!
Thanks to master's holy water.
Master...!
Keep away!
Master, where are you?
Help!
It itches badly!
Horrible!
It itches terribly!
Catch!
Come on!
Help!
Master, help!
Help, help!!
Up above.
Wild Boar!
I can't see you.
Good, they're killing each other.
Quick, quick
Catch!
Hold it!
Quick, quick
...
Master, can you beat her?
Guess.
Guess?
Just let us have the answer.
Can we go out..
If I'm not her match?
Don't guess
Try hard, master.
Trying to become invisible?
Even as a ghost
I won't let you go.
Why am I here?
What happened?
Uncle Ming,
you have a good poise.
Keep away!
What are you doing?
Go away, or I'll be nasty!
Go back...
And take Hsi Pao away
as far as possiblen.
I don't want to see you anymore.
Master, what now?
Treat the wounded,
bury the dead.
And the living?
Wait for death.
What?
Better cremate the dead once and for all.
How about coming to..
my place for treatment?
Okay, thank you.
We're wounded
We'll get treatment.
You take care of it here.
Fix it.
Fix the bodies.
We'll get wood.
You want me to go to the well at this hour?
No, fix those two above first.
Let's go.
Here's the wood.
Put it over here.
Fix it if it's not yet finished.
Fix it. That's all
Are you leaving us behind?
Leaving like that?
What's wrong?
It's best to make a clean pair of heels!
Untie it to let him die more comfortably.
Okay, untie it.
Master, dinner's ready.
Where's Uncle Ming?
In his room
I guess he can't come out.
Why?
You gave him an Instruction Manual on Taoism.
He spent the whole night
studying it without sleeping.
He's now unfit to come out.
Brother, let's go out for a drink.
Not a good time.
Glad you understand.
If we're really going out together...
It's really...
not a good time.
No good for everyone except you.
At least he helped you once.
You mean in jail?
I overpowered the female demon.
What's so funny?
I don't get you.
You feigned death on seeing the demon girl.
Come out and have a drink.
Master, please.
Come on.
Please.
Take your seat.
Why are you following me?
Take your seat.
Be seated, master.
Where's Uncle Ming?
He prefers to sit over there.
Auntie, you look pregnant.
You can see it so easily.
You're tops.
Master, please be seated.
Cheers!
Cheers!
Help yourself.
It tastes real good.
Look appetizing to you?
Yes.
Eat if you dare.
Brother Pao, come on.
Sorry
You'd better eat.
Going somewhere to cook a man's goose?
No, not men.
Ghosts.
Why is there no sign of Fu and Shou?
They've been out of sight for 2 days.
Speak of the devil and the devil appears.
The heels don't touch the ground.
Come and get yourself a seat.
Cheers!
Let's go to the storage room at once.
Why?
Fu and Shou will tell you.
What's it?
Disperse the crowd first.
All for tonight
There's an event here.
Only a joyful event.
Cheers!
You're dumb.
Why are you here?
Open wide your eyes!
Raise your foot!
Sorry for the
small portion tonight.
We'll make up some other night.
Uncle, why?
Ghost, buddy!
Ghost?
We can outnumber it.
Okay.
Follow me, everybody.
Let's go together
We're large in number.
Fu, Shou.
Watch them and I'll get the weapons.
It's alright
Don't run!
Don't be afraid
We won't hurt you!
Over there.
Close the door.
There's a magic mirror upstairs.
I'll go and get it.
Close the window!
Hold it!
Lend me a hand!
Get a shrine for protection.
Spare one for me!
Don't scramble.
No more.
Give it to me.
Give it to me.
Use the shrine to hold it.
Let's not run.
Unity is strength.
Unity is strength.
Strength...
Strength, strength!
Shrine, shrine.
Don't block the entrance
Coming!
Lend a hand, quick!
Chiang, Te, come and lend a hand!
Brother, come and help me.
Take this!
The reversal of the Five Elements?
Yes, come here.
It's alright.
What's it so noisy outside?
It's all right.
He's obedient.
Help, help, master!!
Help, master!
Help!
Chiang, bring me the wine.
Fu, Shou.
How did you get possessed?
We were alone that night..
after they left
While lighting the fire, we saw 2 spirits.
We can't remember what happened later.
What about that one in the well?
Still lying there, unsalvaged.
The coin-sword's still stabbed on her.
What if he's no longer there?
He'll come to see you first of all.
What then?
Go in and get the bag.
Te, get nine black dogs.
Then wait for me at the yamen.
Chiang, show the talisman.
No, it protects us only for a short time.
I want to fry him with a pan.
I know, a fried ghost.
Fu, Shou, you go back first.
We don't need you here.
Chiang, seal the spells on the doors and windows.
Yes, master!
I'll go and help him.
Appetizing.
very appetizing.
Bad, there are spells everywhere.
Don't seal it
Leave an exit for Uncle Ming.
For me? What about you?
We must rush to the well.
to stop a zombie.
Me alone to fry the ghost?
I may not make it.
You must
If you fail and...
He comes out,
he'll harm mankind.
I have this tar left.
I don't hope you need to use it.
Good against evil,
I'll do my best.
Let's go.
I really admire you.
Please accept my saluation.
Better sacrifice him...
to save the whole village.
Hope they're backing against Heaven.
Why?
With backs against Heaven,
the spirits won't change.
What if the potbelly is facing Heaven?
With potbelly against
Heaven, he's herculean.
With backs against Heaven,
we'll be lucky.
I'm Coming..
The bitches too?
I want black puppies only.
That's all I've got
from the whole village.
It may not be strong enough.
Master, use your magic
power to correct it.
You two go and salvage the bodies first.
Both of us?
Yes, go now.
Go over.
Go now.
Chiang, keep an eye on me.
In case there's danger,
go down the well & shout.
Go down.
Master, you must protect me.
I will.
Master, let me stare at you once more.
Enough?
The coin-sword's broken!
Don't pull.
Go up at once.
Master, it's broken.
A zombie...!
Help!
Help!
Grasp my hand at once.
Come to my rescue!
Dead...
Let's go.
Hurry up.
Bad, let's hurry back home!
Bad, it's not yet boiling!
Uncle Ming, how's it inside?
I have no way out myself.
Let's take chances!
Pao, don't!
Pao, you're brave.
Quiet!!
Fry them all the same!
Bad, only medium rare!
Which bastard locked the door?
Help!
Tar?
Come, and I'll spill on you
Let's go
Keep away, or I'll fry him!
Try, if you throw it,
I'll fry him too.
Get going!
Don't act tough.
I can be nasty too!
Pao!
Hsi Pao!
Where's master?
Master, master..!
Pao, pao
Quiet, quiet!
Don't
Uncle, what now?
I have a way out.
Uncle Ming, bear with it.
You'll be alright.
This may kill Uncle Ming.
The only way is to use
a soul to lure to the spirit.
Let me.
If you fail, your spirit will disperse.
To save Uncle Ming,
we must take chances.
Pao.
All right.
Go and lend a hand.
We nearly made it!
Come on, we nearly made it!
Are you two all right?
It's alright,
Our spirits are intact.
What about yours?
Me? I'm all right too!
Great! Everybody's fine.
I'm not all right...!