Mummy, I'm A Zombie (2014) Movie Script

1
Hi, I'm Dixie Grim.
No!
Come on, rise and shine!
Not that long ago...
Julia!
...school stunk.
Dixie.
And my life was pure misery.
I had no friends,
and everyone laughed at me.
(Laughing)
I wish I was dead!
(Thunder rumbling)
Ahhh!
FATHER:
Dixie!
Then, something amazing
happened.
You're a zombie!
At first it's hard to believe,
but you'll get used to it.
I don't want to be a zombie!
There's only one way to return
to your life as a mortal.
How?
The Azoth!
(Gasping)
Hmph!
According to the legend.
That's right!
The Legend of the Azoth
was my only way of returning
to life among the living.
But unfortunately...
Thorko, find that young maiden
named Dixie,
and bring me the Azoth!
(Growling)
Get out!
I wasn't the only one
that needed its powers.
Therefore, Nebulosa ordered her
evil henchmen to capture me!
(Groaning)
What?
That's how I met a crazy
roguish pirate guy!
What's your name?
Gonner.
Who stole the Azoth from me,
so that Nebulosa could get
her plan underway!
Ready and willing
to execute the plan!
What master plan?
You know, wreak havoc and evil
from antiquity
to the present day!
(Nebulosa cackling)
Ahh!
(Dixie screaming)
But what Gonner really wanted
was to help me fool Nebulosa
and recover the powerful jewel.
Nebulosa realized this, and as
a result, I had to confront
her.
Gonner and Isis were able to
return to their lives
as immortal, while I managed
to defeat Nebulosa.
That's when everything
became so clear!
Dixie?
Dixie,
please wake up!
It was all a dream!
Dad?
Yes, darling, I'm here.
So, what do you think, Dad?
Isn't it possible that my dream
actually happened somehow?
And that Gonner and Isis
really existed?
It wouldn't hurt
to thank them.
My life has changed since then.
I see things differently,
and most importantly,
I'm happy.
(Wolf howling)
BOY 1:
Someone's totally
gonna hear us!
BOY 2:
Are we there yet?
Almost, now keep your mouth
shut, will ya?
Ahh!
Oh, what now?
I tripped!
Then, keep your eyes
open, dude!
I'm scared!
Shh!
Okay, but if this takes
much longer,
I'm gonna lose it!
Well, you better not.
(Footsteps, leaves rustling)
(Crow squawking)
(Strange animal sounds)
What are you doing?
I'll wait for you here.
You're joking, right?
I'll keep watch
in case someone comes.
Who would ever come here
in the middle of the night?
You chicken liver!
(Grunting)
(Fabric ripping)
Did you hear that?
(Frog croaking)
Dude, what was it?
(Fabric ripping)
Whoa, there it goes again!
My pants!
That's what you get for eating
a dozen donuts a day.
I only had eight today!
(Grunting, groaning)
(Popping sound)
Guys, let's hunker down
and get to work!
(Machine beeping)
Wires, you're in charge of
the Ghostmeter K2-EMF!
Uh, uh...
I'll record
the paranormal voices.
Cricket, what's my job?
You can hold the lantern.
Oh!
If there are any spirits here,
would you give us a sign?
(Marbles farting)
What was that?
Gross, smells awful!
I need to go to the bathroom.
Marbles, you're ruining
our mission!
Shh, the K2-EMF is picking up
on something!
Who are you, dude?
(Static)
Huh?
(Voice muffled)
Confess, mortal!
Oh!
Who gave you permission
to enter this burial ground?
(All screaming)
Run!
Mommy!
Ugh!
Ah!
Get out!
(Glass breaking)
Ha!
Ahhh!
(Marbles whimpering)
Oh, no, not again!
(Grunting)
Ha, ha, ha!
(Grunting)
Ha, ha!
Come on, Marbles, move!
Ha!
Ahhh!
Ugh!
They escaped!
Cool it,
that'll teach 'em a lesson.
Bye, Dad!
Have a nice day!
Without a doubt!
The sky is blue,
and the sun is shining.
This is going to be
a great week.
Make the best of it,
and have fun.
(Sighing happily)
Totally!
What could possibly go wrong
with the weather like this?
Hi, Dixie!
Oh, hello.
Hi, Dixie.
Take one.
"Vote Penelope Primrat
for president."
(School bell ringing)
Hi, Dixie.
Hi.
Hey, Dixie, do you want
to meet up later
to review our math notes?
Sure, thanks, Ernie.
I hope that this year someone
different wins for a change.
I know!
You should run!
You're so much better
than the others.
You think so?
Thanks!
(Chatter, indistinct)
Look at her.
I would have never
believed it.
She thinks she owns
the school!
Nothing like getting into
an accident
to get some recognition.
It's so pathetic!
That way, they'll really care
about you.
Well, the party's over.
I've got an idea!
What are you thinking?
Let's turn Miss Congeniality
into the biggest loser!
No one will be able
to stand her.
Listen...
(Whispering inaudibly)
BOTH:
Dixie! Dixie!
(Clapping hands)
Thanks for saving me
a seat.
We wanted you to sit by us.
We're so sorry about
your accident,
just 'cause of our stupid joke
in the funhouse.
We didn't mean it.
If there's anything
we can do for you,
we'd be thrilled to help!
Nope, no worries.
I love your earrings!
Oh, thanks, Melissa.
Your nail polish
is so rad!
Thanks, Alyssa.
We're going to the movies
tonight.
You should come!
I can't,
I have to study math.
Let's catch a movie tonight.
Cool!
BOTH:
Hey, what up, Dixie?
(Giggling)
Don't be silly.
You secret crush on Ray
is safe with us.
Our lips are totally sealed!
(Giggling)
Bye, Dixie.
See you tomorrow!
Hi, Mom!
MAN ON PHONE:
Some of the bouquets
are wilted!
I don't care if the flowers
are wilted.
I thought I was going
to Dad's today.
The flowers are awfully
withered!
That's why you should
sell them immediately!
(Sighing)
I'm so tired of dealing
with useless employees.
(Motor starting)
Hi, sweetie.
There's a change of plans.
You're sleeping at home
tonight.
Okay, great.
You seem happier.
Things changed a lot.
Now, everyone likes me!
It's like I'm cool.
You were saying?
Melissa and Alyssa
can't stop apologizing!
Weren't those the two girls
who made fun of your clothes
last year?
Yeah, but now they love
everything I wear.
Isn't that weird?
I'm not surprised that
you've become more popular
after adopting
a new attitude.
Me? Popular?
You know, you should use this
sudden new social status
to set higher goals
for yourself.
Like what?
Aren't the class elections
around the corner?
Why don't you run
for president?
That's funny.
You're the second person
to tell me that today.
You see?
The same people always win,
and the school needs
someone... new.
With the right campaign,
you'll attract votes
like bees to honey.
A campaign?
Halloween's a week away.
Why don't you throw a party
and invite everyone?
Of course!
We can use Dad's place,
it's perfect!
(Laughing)
Dear, you are supposed
to entertain your guests,
not terrify them
in a morbid mortuary.
Oh.
You can have it here,
you know.
Thanks, Mom, ha-ha!
Oh.
(Whispering inaudibly)
President?
But to win, you'll need to beat
Penelope Primrat!
And she hasn't lost an election
since kindergarten.
Exactly!
That's why I think I should
bring change
to make this a better place.
And how are you going to take
votes away from her?
What about throwing
a Halloween party?
Awesome, we love costumes!
We'll help you organize it,
so we can finally do something
for you.
Thanks!
I'm going to invite
the whole class.
MELISSA AND ALYSSA:
Oh.
What's wrong?
Ew, no, you shouldn't do that.
Why not?
The first thing you need
to learn about popularity
is that if you want to cool
people to come to your party,
then you better forget
about those weirdoes.
I'm saying only one of them
was a ghost!
And the rest were zombies!
Zombies?
At least four of them!
They smelled like
rotten flesh!
And their leader
was floating in mid-air!
And had an axe sticking
out of her head!
(Gasping)
Piroska!
(Birds tweeting)
I love parties!
Did you hear that,
Mr. Molars?
Well, I didn't want
to bother you.
What are you talking about?
It's just what we need,
a house full of life!
I wasn't planning on
having it here.
The funeral home is perfect!
Look around you!
(Phil humming happily)
Dad, things have changed!
We'll stop dusting,
and give spiders time
to weave their webs.
I have new friends now.
I'll leave the autopsy room
door open,
so it smells like
formaldehyde!
No one treats me like a loser.
And with those eerie, spooky
lights in the front yard--
Dad, I want a normal party!
Mom offered her place,
and I said yes.
Oh, I see.
(Wind blowing)
(Door creaking)
(Wind blowing)
(Dixie groaning)
What's going on?
Oh!
Ah! Oh, Dad!
PHIL:
Don't worry, darling.
Everything will be just fine.
You relax now.
I hope you don't mind sharing
the backseat with Mr. Molars.
Ah! Oh!
He won't bother you.
He's a man of few words.
Oh!
I didn't see that!
(Crashing)
Ahhh!
(Dixie groaning)
Oh!
Ugh!
(Whistling)
(Whistling)
(Tires screeching in distance)
Huh?
Huh?
(Tires screeching)
Ahhh!
(Gasping)
Doctor! Doctor!
Hold on, honey.
We're almost there.
Okay, take it easy,
everyone.
It'll be over before
you know it.
Close your eyes, sweetheart,
and count to three.
One, two...
(Voice distorting)
Three.
(Groaning)
What happened to me?
Appendicitis.
The doctors had to slice
you open
to remove that little rascal.
Ouch!
How many stitches
did they give me?
As many as the number
of days of the week!
I'll look like the Bride
of Frankenstein!
It'll match with the rest
of your wardrobe, sweetheart.
(Door opening)
Hmm, home sweet home.
How do you feel?
(Sighing)
Good.
So, you wouldn't mind going
down to the preparation room
to touch up Mrs. Wigwam?
I have to make some phone calls.
Sure.
This place always gives me
the creeps.
(Screaming)
Rowr! Ha ha!
Isis!
Arrr!
No, please, no!
DIXIE:
Gonner?
I'm sorry.
I couldn't stop him
from coming along.
But how is this possible?
Oh, cut it out!
We don't have eternity.
Listen, Dixie, we're here
because something be very wrong.
(Phil knocking)
Everything okay?
Everything's fine!
I'm almost done!
We'd better go somewhere else
before my dad sees you.
(Faint howling)
The zombies in the cemetery
are enraged by Piroska's
sudden ghost visits.
That nutjob has been
going around saying
that the Dark Soul is back.
(Gasping)
Nebulosa?
Aye, your buddy.
What is she up to now?
Well, as the carrier
of the Azoth,
it's up to you to find out
what she's plotting.
And stop her in her tracks!
Uh, wait a second.
The last time we faced Nebulosa,
I was a zombie.
Or at least I thought I was,
because the doctor said
it was all a nightmare.
Well, what do you think?
Of course not!
I'm sure that everything
that happened was real.
Ah, then what we be
waiting for?
Wait!
I can't face Nebulosa.
I'm a mortal now.
Aye, lassie, we'll help ye.
And you have the powers
of the Azoth on your side.
Oh!
What's wrong with it?
Why isn't it glowing?
I don't know.
(Gasping)
It's lost all of its power!
(Humming)
Relax, my lady, relax!
And Frisco!
Where is my loyal Frisco!
My cousin is no longer
in your service.
How dare that brute
desert me!
Actually, it was you that
terminated his services.
You blew him up.
Oh, yes.
But I'm his cousin
Parisco!
And I'm your new faithful
servant.
Simply lay back, my queen,
and take it easy!
How can you ask me
to relax?
I have to restock my lab
with poisons and potions,
create new ghost worlds!
Your power is unlimited,
but so is your temper,
which can result
in mis...calculations.
Control, control.
And your immense power
will know no limits!
(Snarling)
We got it, my lady!
Ah, Piroska!
Do you have it?
The essence of the Azoth,
as you requested.
How did you do it?
(Giggling)
I swiped it from Dixie
while she was asleep.
Oh!
(Kissing)
Now you can acquire
the powers required
to legitimize your position
as leader of the zombies!
And carry out my new plan.
With the essence of the Azoth
in your possession,
you don't need to worry
about the enemy anymore!
Dixie Grim!
Maybe you spilled salt
and don't remember.
Oh, no!
Ahh!
Or walked underneath a ladder
leaning against the wall?
No!
Ahh!
Heh-heh.
Oh, oh!
Have you come across a hearse
carrying a coffin?
Isis, I live in a funeral home.
(Groaning)
Cut it out with the creepy
superstitions.
Do you have a better
explanation?
If anyone knows what happened
to the Azoth,
it would be Vitriol!
Oh, blimey, now what?
Yeah, Isis, which way
should we go?
(Owl hooting)
Hmm, this way!
Wait, wait, wait!
I said the other way.
Aren't you always saying
you have bad luck?
(Giggling)
(Both giggling)
(Owl hooting)
Aw, bummer, man.
The Azoth lost its essence.
Be that even possible?
Well, yeah, sure, daddy-o.
The Azoth is made up of this
gnarly primary matter,
and it is utterly fragile.
Oh, how can we restore
its essence?
The primary matter consists
of the four basic elements
of creation.
ISIS AND GONNER:
Earth, fire,
water and air!
Only the righteous balance
of these four elements
can recreate the primary matter
that nurtures the Azoth.
So, what do we need
to be doing?
(Vitriol speaking Latin)
Ya dig?
"Search within,
and by rectifying,
you shall find the jewel
that's hidden inside you."
Check this out.
A stone egg?
Don't focus on the outside.
Zero in on the inside, man.
A stone chicken?
It's a gnome, you dead-head!
I came across this trippy
little guy up north,
and my soul told me
it would come in handy.
Now I know why.
Oh!
Aren't gnomes the magical entity
of the earth?
Yup, here's your first element.
Get a move on, and hunt down
the remaining three.
The answers you're sniffing for
lie in this book.
Ugh!
I'll take care of this.
You don't even know
your ABCs.
But only the true bearer
of the Azoth
can find the undeniable answer.
But, first, make right
that which is wrong.
The path lies in the heart,
sister.
But where we be digging up
the elements?
And how will we know
if they're in balance?
Dixie, are you even listening
to any of this?
What?
Sorry, I'm just really tired.
The sun be going to rise soon.
Time for us to go get
some shut-eye.
Do you want to sleep
in me tomb, Dixie?
Who'd want to sleep in that
dirty hole in the ground?
Come to my super-roomy
tomb instead, Dixie!
Guys, I'm a mortal.
I have a family at home
waiting for me.
If I don't get back
by morning,
I'll be in big trouble!
But when will we
see you again?
Tomorrow night, same spot.
(Ghostmeter beeping)
I'm picking up on something!
Is it a ghost?
A zombie?
It was Dixie!
Dixie Grim!
(Children laughing)
(Alyssa giggling)
If you want to be popular,
then you've got to be exclusive.
If everyone was popular,
then no one would be exclusive.
You let a few enter
the inner circle
while the others burn
with jealousy.
How is this going to help me get
votes and become president?
People would kill to get
into your group! Hee-hee!
They love you, they hate you,
they do whatever you want.
Hey, Dixie!
Are we still on for
a study session later?
Yeah, of course.
Ha, super.
If you really want to win
the election,
you can't be seen with him!
But he's...
he's a really cool dude.
(Girls laughing)
What?
The secret to our success
is that we don't hang with dudes
like Ernie, blah!
The cool with the cool.
And freaks with freaks!
You want to win
the election, right?
And make the school
a better place.
Yes.
(School bell ringing)
You and Ray would be
so much cuter together.
But he's Julia's boyfriend.
(Alyssa giggling)
It's not like they're married!
And Julia's my friend.
Don't worry,
maybe we can help you.
I'm serious.
You really shouldn't get
involved.
Oh, but you were meant
to be together.
(Dog howling)
If they keep crossing off names,
I won't even be invited
to my own party.
Ew, get your dirty hook
of a hand off me!
Ye old barnacle!
What are you doing here?
We were tired of waiting for ye
in the cemetery,
so we decided to go out
and find ye!
Did anyone see you?
'Twas close.
I had to tie this lunatic's
bandages to a tree
so she wouldn't go after
a group of mortals.
Isis, you can't just go around
biting people!
Imagine the mess!
Who said anything about biting?
Those people were talking about
some Halloween party
you're throwing!
Great, just what I needed.
Oh, can I go?
Can I go? Can I go?
You definitely have
a loose bandage.
It's a party for mortals!
But people dress up
for Halloween!
Nobody would even know
we're zombies.
Maybe I could even
win a prize!
(Giggling)
No, no, definitely not.
First of all, there'll only be
food for mortals,
so what would you guys eat?
Rat guts? Dog brains?
(Licking lips)
We just wouldn't eat.
Oh, and mortals clean themselves
and smell good.
Zombies reek of death!
I'd rather die again
than take a bath!
We shouldn't mix
different worlds.
Mortals should stick
with mortals!
(Sighing)
And zombies with zombies.
Oh!
(Seagull squawking)
(Sniffing, meowing)
(Sniffing)
(Piroska grunting)
Meow!
Life is tough, huh?
Don't worry, you'll be among
the dead pretty soon.
(Cat yelping)
(Snarling)
That should be enough
for today.
(Cats meowing)
(Snarling)
I'll take her down!
You nutjob!
Do you want to see that lady's
face on the front page
of all the mortals' newspapers
tomorrow morning?
(Cat meowing)
It was just an idea.
We can't leave any tracks!
Remember the plan?
Petey?
Petey, Petey!
(Cat meowing in distance)
Oh!
Vitriol was right!
This book has volumes
of useful information.
Come on, Dixie.
What be going on with us?
I don't know what
you're talking about.
About us, remember?
Am I not your sea dog anymore?
Well, we're together now.
Oh, but it's not like before!
It's like I annoy you.
I guess I'm just still
surprised to see you guys,
and face Nebulosa again.
And then, there's my life
as a mortal.
If you only knew how complicated
all this is!
But do you still like me?
I just need some time,
that's all.
Oh, Dixie!
Hand me the Azoth!
Chill out, Isis.
You're going to break it!
Give it to me!
Vitriol said the path
lies within the heart!
Ahhh!
Oh!
Avast ye!
The Azoth be a map!
See, those be the hands
of the compass.
It's like Vitriol said!
The first element was found
in the north!
So, then the element of air
will be to the east!
What are we waiting for?
(Creaking sound)
(Henchmen growling)
NEBULOSA:
Gently!
That is a very rare artefact
imported from Transylvania.
Growl!
Use caution!
You cannot risk dropping it.
We're home!
I didn't give you a voice
so that you could shriek.
I know! Control, relax.
My darling Piroska,
what is it you bring me?
Tasty cats to welcome
our guests!
(Cats meowing)
We caught at least 100!
The ideal reward once they
answer your summons.
Nothing can fail during
my great convention.
Ah, ah, ah!
You mustn't flood the mind
with negativity!
It will be a monstrous success,
you'll see!
What did he say?
(Sighing)
What if the zombies ignore
your call?
Argh!
I didn't say a word!
It was him!
Do you question my stratagem?
Let us not be frazzled.
We must temper our temper!
How dare you cast doubt
over me!
(Roaring)
Okay, take 10.
Breathe deeply.
Here we go.
(Inhaling)
(Cackling)
(Roaring)
You're right,
I feel so much better.
(Whimpering)
"Emblems of the air element
include the sky and the birds."
And we'll need to draw on our
omnipotent intuition to find it.
Does it say anything about
throwing yourself down a ravine?
Oh!
A dead end in the road!
A bad omen I forebode!
(Water rushing)
Isis, how about ye take
an eternal snooze
and leave us alone?
Look over there!
GONNER:
A lighthouse?
Aren't we looking for
a high place?
The air element must be
hidden up there!
Let's go!
Hey, you guys,
won't it be dangerous?
Remember the earthquakes
that demolished the one
in Alexandria!
(Key rattling)
You know,
for a sea-faring bandit,
you are totally clueless.
(Lock turning)
You were saying? Ha-ha!
Beginner's luck.
(Sound of footsteps)
(Panting)
I'm getting...
dizzy!
Would ye rather go straight...
...to the bottom?
I hate to be the one who
always has to remind you,
but the proverb says,
"If a ray of light flashes,
zombies get turned into ashes!"
(Wings flapping)
The book said that birds are
associated with the air element.
Someone should go up there
to look around!
Okay, I get it.
(Sighing)
What be that?
A snack we mortals enjoy.
How can you think of food
right now?
It's not for me.
Huh?
(Squawking)
Are you hungry,
little birdie?
(Squawking)
Here, check this out!
Oh!
(Squawking)
Ahh!
Gonner, do something!
I got myself out of the way,
didn't I?
(Chuckling)
(Squawking)
Oh, ah!
(Cats meowing)
Patience, it's almost ready.
(Cats meowing)
Hmm, Petey?
Psst, I think Petey came back.
(Bird squawking)
Get it off! Get it off!
Follow your gut.
Focus on whatever catches
your attention.
(Bird squawking)
(Gasping)
I think I know where.
What are the chances
the air element is in here?
Crack it open!
Let's find out!
(Tapping)
It's hard as a rock!
(Tapping)
Ugh!
Phew!
(Shell cracking)
Air!
(Gasping)
Don't worry, I'm not going
to hurt you.
Hey, look what I found!
Ow!
(Wings flickering)
(Dixie gasping)
(Bats screeching)
Help!
I'm coming up!
Petey, Petey.
Oh, simmer down now.
I have your favourite dish.
(Gonner panting)
The light!
(Bats screeching)
Ahhh!
Petey, Petey.
What are you up to,
you rascal?
(Bats screeching)
Ahhh!
(Dixie screaming)
Ha, gotcha!
(Screaming)
Ugh!
(All groaning, bird squawking)
(Doorknob rattling)
Wh-- what was that?
Somebody's coming!
Hide!
Petey?
Oh, hmm.
(Wood creaking)
(Sighing)
(Owl hooting, crickets chirping)
VITRIOL:
Ah, the creature you landed
was a sylph.
These fairies are the magical
identity of the air.
And why did it petrify?
To preserve the power of
the element it represents.
Super groovy,
protect it with your life.
Boneville Cemetery,
11:00 p.m.
I'm picking up something!
Stop goofing off and shoot!
Quiet!
Oh, man, it's just Dixie.
Again?
Well, well, what an
interesting coincidence.
Did you seriously think I didn't
notice your moves on Dixie?
So? Heh-heh.
Watch it.
Dixie deserves a lot better
than a cocky traitor like you!
Or a blood-sucking friend
like you.
Am not!
You Caribbean monkey-doo!
Shh!
No, no, no, no, no!
What do you mean, shh?
You can't shush me!
(Skeletons chattering)
Things have changed,
you can be certain of that!
But how can we be sure
that Nebulosa's not going back
to her old ways, huh?
Her recent total extinction
experience
has taught her many things.
Right, now she knows how to pop
our brains out in half the time.
No!
I promise you that she wants
the best for all of us!
Come on, she's always used us
to serve her best interests.
Nebulosa deeply regrets
her past actions,
and wants to make it up to you!
(Skeletons chattering)
As proof of her good intentions,
she has invited all of you to
a grand reception in her lair
where she will offer you
all kinds of delicacies!
There, she will announce to you
a very important message,
a revelation she reached during
her transcendental experience!
(Skeletons chattering)
(Books clattering)
Tell me it isn't true.
What?
You're the one that told Ray
that I kissed Martin
in the locker room.
No!
That happened years ago!
Alyssa and Melissa.
So, you were in on it.
Yeah, but-- no!
I never thought that--
Well, Ray broke up with me.
I'm sorry.
So, I guess now that
you're popular,
you feel entitled to mess up
everyone else's life.
That's not true!
Now you can have Ray
all to yourself.
Isn't that what you wanted?
(Crying)
No, Julia, wait!
Let me explain!
Oh!
(Footsteps)
Sleep, sleep...
(Groaning)
Ahh!
(Gonner laughing)
Shiver me timbers,
it's just us.
It wasn't funny at all!
(Gonner and Isis laughing)
PHIL:
Dixie?
My dad!
Is something wrong, Dixie?
What happened here?
Oh, there were two spiders!
(Giggling)
Where?
Um, don't worry.
I already got rid of them.
(Giggling)
(Sniffing)
What is that rotten smell?
(Sniffing)
I don't smell anything.
Oh, it's coming from
under the bed.
No! There's nothing there!
Dad, forget about it.
Oh, your boots.
(Sniffing)
Oh, let's get these out
of your room.
I think they need some
fresh air.
Oh, phew!
(Exhaling)
Dixie's feet smell
like death!
(Laughing)
I don't believe that Nebulosa
suddenly wants to do right
by the zombies.
Something's up!
Totally agree.
I'm sure she be up to some
devious plan,
and that this whole important
message thing be a cover-up.
Time is running out!
We've got to find
the third element!
Now?
We have to stop the witch
before she tries to turn us
into shark bait! Ahh!
"The element of fire is
associated with arid places.
Its colour is red, and it
resides in the south."
Our graveyard!
Let's take a break before
Isis the parrot
burns me brains with TMI!
"You will need endless
determination to find it,
and its magical entity
is the salamander."
Isis, have ye ever heard of
the word "silence"?
CRICKET:
Come out, zombie!
Quiet, someone's coming.
Quick, hit the deck!
(Cat meowing)
I'm certain this place
is plagued with zombies.
Our plan is fail-proof,
no doubt about it.
Why are so many cats
disappearing in Boneville?
Uh, because the dogs are hungry?
Because there have always
been mutts,
and the cat population
never change.
Then, who?
The zombies!
The living dead are so crazy
about cats!
That's nice, heh-heh!
No, stupid, cats are
their favourite food!
Ugh!
If we want to trap
one of those zombies,
all we have to do is
lure it with a tasty cat.
(Meowing)
When the zombie comes
for the cat, we'll ambush it.
And we'll burn it
with our torches.
Trap a zombie with a cat?
How lame is that?
Cats.
(Clanging)
What was that?
I have an idea.
Come out, zombie.
We know you're there.
(Howling)
(Screaming)
(Howling)
(Howling)
Huh?
(Gasping)
What's this?
(Gasping)
The salamander!
Now you'll see.
Mine! Ha!
She's out cold.
You asked for it!
Eww, slimy.
Where'd it go?
Don't move.
Not again!
Creatures on my head
creep me out.
What's it doing?
You don't want to know.
(Groaning)
I got him!
(Blowing raspberry)
That's enough!
Wait till I
get a hold of you.
Got you now!
(Whistling)
Now what?
Whoa!
(Laughing)
Dixie!
Got it.
You did it!
You made it!
Well, well,
it looks like
our three little pigs
have reunited!
(Laughing)
I'll huff and I'll puff
and I'll blow
their raging party down.
We're going to fix
the Azoth
Yeah, we did it
We're going to fix
the Azoth
Yeah, we did it
(Laughing)
Interesting.
It's perfect for the front lawn.
Careful. What the matter
with you, Dixie?
Nothing.
You seem so tired lately.
Are you sure
everything's okay?
It's about the party.
I thought you were excited.
I am, it's just that
Alyssa and Melissa
aren't letting me
invite anyone.
Oh, really?
They insist that I invite only
the most popular people
if I want to have a rad party
and win votes in the election.
Well, Dixie, there's something
you should understand
about social group dynamics.
What?
You have to pick and choose,
love.
You can't be in two worlds
at once.
But all those people
are my friends too.
Success requires
big sacrifices.
Hey! This is perfect
for Dad's costume.
Dixie, I don't think it's a
good idea to invite your father.
Why not?
Thank about it:
what if he embarrasses you
in front of
your new friends?
Oh.
Don't you want to win
this election?
You have so much to gain
and so little to lose.
There is a sense of dread
at the core of my soul.
Now, just relax.
I feel like
I am about to receive
terrible news
any minute.
It's normal to be anxious.
Your big moment is coming up!
All must be perfect.
Remember,
take control of situations,
you take control
of the world!
My lady!
Piroska.
Excellent news!
Speak.
Your summons to the zombies
has been a success, my queen.
Thousands of zombies
from cemeteries everywhere
will come
to hear your message!
Excellent! Magnificent!
Splendid!
But there's something else
you should know.
Yes.
It's about Dixie.
(Grunting)
We saw her wandering
through the forest
with the other
two misfits.
(Grunting)
Oh, let's not get flustered.
Oh!
But listen to this:
they're going around
looking for the
Four Elements of Creation.
(Laughing)
(Cackling)
The Elements? What in the world
do they want the elements for?
Don't you understand,
fools?!
They're trying to restore
the essence of the Azoth.
(Gasping)
Oh, easy there.
Deep breaths.
Omm... Do it with me.
Omm.
Omm.
(Grunting)
Enough!
Ah!
(Grunting)
(Sighing)
Now I feel much better.
Uh-oh.
Find them and get that wretched
girl out of the way.
Don't worry, my lady,
I have a plan
that will
lead us right to her.
(Sighing)
I really need to close my eyes
for five minutes.
Wait a sec,
and I'll be all yours.
No more noises.
Hello, darkness.
Nothing can bother me now.
Blah!
(Spitting)
(Laughing)
What are you doing here?
I thought you'd be happy
to see me.
And I thought it was clear that
I needed to rest tonight.
Remember?
Me hearty, what have I done?
What's become of us?
I bet Isis brainwashed you into
thinking I was a rotten traitor.
No, that's not true.
'Cause you're a mortal
and I still be a zombie?
Of course not.
It's just that
I am so tired.
I never want to be tired.
I didn't have to live two lives
before in just 24 hours.
Do ye still
like me or not?
Of course I do. But you
need to give me some time.
"I just need a little time."
(Mocking)
Mortals always take advantage
of us zombies,
thinking that we have
all eternity ahead of us.
This be like being dragged under
the keel of a ship.
I never
understand lassies.
Well, well.
So you're still wasting time
with that mortal.
Whoa, there. If I wanted to
destroy you, I would've done it
before you had time
to whip out that toothpick.
Looks like trying to be a good
boy has turned you into a fool.
What do you want?
Come on, Gonner.
Mortals don't care much
for putrid corpses like us.
Dixie be different.
That's what they all say.
She doesn't stink like you.
Oh, really?
I bet you your pirate's booty
she already has a mortal boy
on her mind.
Shut your trap!
When you come to your senses,
I'll be waiting for you.
(Smooching)
Me hearty would never
double cross me.
(Meowing)
(Sniffing)
Ah. Mm.
(Meowing)
Come here, kitty.
Grab him!
We got him!
Ah!
Get over here, zombie.
Watch out for his teeth.
Ouch!
Did he bite you?
No, dude, I'm cool,
I'm okay.
Dudes, we just caught
ourselves a zombie.
Thunderbolts!
Let me out of here!
From the yard,
I will feed ye to the fish!
Now we have the proof
we needed.
No one can
"smock" us anymore!
Mock us, moron.
It's "mock", not "smock".
Yeah, that.
Oh, man.
Oh, you.
Ray, can I talk to you
for a sec?
Yeah, sure, babe.
BOTH:
Bye, Ray.
I heard about
you and Julia.
Oh, Julia. Yeah, right.
I want you to know
that I'm really sorry.
Yeah, I'm really broken up
about the whole thing.
I could really use
a good friend to talk to.
Oh, I understand.
How about
we see a movie
at 5:00, baby?
Oh, I don't think that--
Hey!
Who said
zombies don't exist?
Yo, listen up, you guys.
We captured one.
Oh, you're crazy.
Oh, yeah? It's our age
and it looks like a pirate.
It's in Wires' backyard.
Who wants to see it?
I do.
Me, me, me.
It's locked up in there.
Let it out.
I want to see it.
So it can go rabid
and maul everyone?
Whoever wants to see will have
to peep through this hole.
She's covering up
for the beast.
That's a lie!
She goes in and out of
the cemetery every single night
to hang out with him.
I've never seen
that thing before.
He's your boyfriend. We saw
him climbing out of your window.
Are you kidding me?
I couldn't be caught dead
with that creature.
I chill with people,
like Alyssa and Melissa.
I would never be friends
with a ghoulish bloodsucker.
Hey, leave her alone.
You heard her.
She's never seen
the dead-head before.
Oh, who's
the filthy traitor now?
Gonner?
It's me, Dixie.
I'm sorry about what happened.
I needed to make stuff up
so they'd believe me
and I could rescue you.
You understand, right?
Wait a minute.
(Gasping)
Gonner?
The balance between the spirit
and the mind is most important.
Peace allows for control and
control turns into domination.
I can't wait
for the action to begin.
(Gasping)
Gonner!
I knew
you'd come back!
Seize him!
(Snarling)
Wait, my lady!
He's one of us again.
He betrayed me by helping Dixie,
and now he will pay.
(Breathing heavily)
(Growling)
I can help ye catch her!
Throw him into the pit.
No! Please! Trust him,
he's telling the truth.
This slimy bilge rat hasn't said
a true thing in his life.
(Grunting)
She's heading for the nymphs'
pond to get the fourth element.
You had
better be right.
It's a full moon!
Time to hit the lagoon!
Where's Gonner?
Isn't he with you?
No idea. He's gone off
and disappeared somewhere.
Typical Gonner.
He almost blew my cover
in front of the mortals.
What did you expect
from that weasel?
We're better off alone
than in such terrible company.
Wait, Isis. We don't even know
what Nebulosa's plotting.
My horoscope guarantees a long
journey with a pleasant ending.
We don't need Gonner
for anything.
What if it's true
that Nebulosa has changed?
Even the message
in my fortune cookie confirms
that this journey
will be a success.
We are totally fine.
Isis, I'm not a zombie anymore.
I have my own life as a mortal.
I don't care what you are.
Well, I do, and I can't be
in two worlds at one.
I tried,
but it was impossible.
And who's going to find
the fourth element?
Who's going
to stop Nebulosa?
Zombie problems are matters
of the living dead.
Oh, of course zombies
are too insignificant
for a busy mortal like you
to waste your time on.
I just don't know who you are
anymore, Dixie Grim.
And who are you?
It's pretty easy for you
to act all tough
when someone else
is risking their neck.
Right, Isis?
Why don't you go?
Me? Alone?
With the help of your horoscope
and fortune cookies,
you should be fine.
What's wrong?
Dare ya.
Well, maybe I will.
Good luck.
What if my horoscope
was wrong?
(Ringing)
(Rattling)
(Gasping)
Ah!
You have to help me.
Ah! Let me go.
Your pirate dude bit me.
I'm done for.
It won't be long
before I'm a zombie.
What should I do?
Go to the woods and you'll find
a mummy there named Isis.
Tell her
that I sent you and...
You don't understand, man.
My friends are armed and
they're recruiting volunteers
to go after the zombies.
What?!
If they figure out
I'm one of the living dead,
they'll hunt me down
like an animal.
Just be honest.
They're your friends,
I'm sure they'll understand.
Be honest? Like you were
in front of everyone
when we captured
the pirate?
It's easy to act brave when
it's someone else's problem.
Hmph.
I wasn't trying
to act brave.
Oh, no! Isis.
I hope the water nymphs
don't bite.
Oh, I hate
getting chewed up.
What did my horoscope mean by
"long journeys
with pleasant endings?"
And if the journey
isn't pleasant,
is it just like
an ordinary journey?
Of course, if my horoscope
is wrong,
there's always
my fortune cookie.
This is undoubtedly
my lucky day.
I shouldn't be worried.
(Splashing)
Oh, hi.
My name's Isis.
I just need
one of you to help me.
Oh, no, no.
Don't be afraid.
I'm not
going to hurt you.
Will you help me?
(Giggling)
Oh, you have no idea
how grateful I am.
(Giggling)
(Growling)
Stop it! Go away!
Oh, it's okay.
Everything's cool.
No need to worry.
Uh-oh.
How do you like that?
Good fortune
is still on my side.
Oh. Oh, no!
Ah!
You see, Isis,
this is sheer luck.
Oh, no.
Yes! Oh!
No-o-o!
I guess this was
a lucky break.
Oh. I did it!
What luck! I really was
born under a lucky star.
PIROSKA:
Well, well, well.
Oh!
You should know
that zombies and water
don't mix very well.
Oh, no!
Ah!
Why don't you go ahead
and dive in to show me?!
I couldn't care less
about you, crackpot.
I'm looking for Dixie.
Where is she?
I'll never tell you.
Stop flickering like a candle
and fight, coward.
(Laughing)
Chicken!
You rotten hatchet head!
You stinky zombie!
Face me!
Go, mummy, go!
You are so courageous,
so brave, and daring!
Oh, Isis.
What are you doing?
(Laughing)
You think
you can take me?
(Grunting)
Isis, no!
Bye-bye!
(Laughing)
Hey! Let go of me.
You're a little late.
(Laughing)
See you never,
Dixie Grim.
(Chuckling)
We shall refill this replica
with the Azoth essence,
which we so brilliantly
stole from Dixie.
No zombie will be able
to tell the difference.
(Laughing)
The Azoth!
Nebulosa is the bearer
of the Azoth?
All good?
Dixie has turned into nymph food
at the bottom of the pond.
You can now carry out
your plan, my queen.
My fellow
people of the night,
I have called you here to
apologize for any of my mistakes
that might have harmed you
in the past.
My actions were harsh,
and I am deeply
ashamed of them.
However, my true intention
was to free us all
from the painful existence
we've always suffered.
Because of the mortals,
the walking dead
live a life of secrecy,
so as not to be
hunted down mercilessly.
Zombies of Boneville,
we will put an end
to centuries of subjugation.
Now, with the Azoth
in my power,
we will all rise up
and revolt
against the tyranny
of mortals.
We must
make the world ours.
(Cheering)
Look at them, my lady.
They are all yours.
Meal time.
Serve them
the hideous cats.
We will need
all of their strength.
(Sobbing)
Why did you do it,
loony girl?
What were you thinking?
What's this?
(Gasping)
The last element.
Oh, Isis,
you're the bravest,
smartest mummy
in the world.
(All groaning)
Look at them, my lady.
That's a legitimate army.
Now, every mortal
that gets bitten by a zombie
will be transformed
into the walking dead.
(Groaning)
There won't be a single mortal
left in Boneville.
(Laughing)
They'll all be zombies!
The success of the rebellion
will spread through the region,
and then across the country,
and will reach every corner
of the earth.
In the blink of an eye,
the whole world
will become zombie territory.
(Laughing)
Dixie, where the heck
are you, chick? Huh?
Vitriol, I found it,
the last element!
Far out!
Now let's get
this baby rolling.
Honesty, inspiration,
will and courage.
Search within, man.
And by rectifying,
you shall find the jewel
that's hiding inside you.
I don't understand.
What's missing?
I wish Gonner and Isis
were here to help me.
I miss them so much.
(Sobbing)
I'm so sorry.
I was so ungrateful.
So unfair.
The essence
of the Azoth.
(Bicycle bell ringing)
(Cheering)
Go back to your rotting tombs
where you belong.
We'll count to three.
One...
Two...
Three!
Ah!
Ah!
(Screaming)
Look how they run, my lady!
(Laughing)
The ghost wolves await your
orders for the attack, my lady.
Oh, the zombies can do this
on their own.
(Screaming)
I don't see them.
We got rid of them.
(Screaming)
(Meowing)
(Grunting)
WIRES:
Hey, up here!
MARBLES:
Say cheese!
(Meowing)
(Chuckling)
(Laughing)
Our zombies are definitely
getting their fill.
Victory is yours.
Not quite yet.
This is just an appetizer.
Cricket?
Where have you been, dude?
There are
zombies everywhere.
(Groaning)
Ugh!
Wait, listen to me.
(Groaning)
No, it's not
what it looks like.
Don't come near me!
Scumbags.
Cat killers.
Take that!
Huh? Oh.
(Choking)
(Yelling)
What in the devil's name
is that?
The Azoth?
By the power invested in me
through this jewel,
I order you to return
to your tombs.
(Laughing)
And what power is that?
The power of the real
bearer of the Azoth.
That Azoth is a rock.
It has no real power.
And you are a farce.
She's not even a zombie.
Who are you really,
Dixie Grim?
Earth, air, fire and water!
Honesty, inspiration,
will and courage!
(Gasping)
I thought
you got rid of her.
I don't understand,
my lady.
I saw her sink
to the bottom of the pond.
Leave the zombies alone.
Just because they don't
look like all of you
doesn't mean
they're so different.
No, they are abominably
boorish monsters.
They should
be annihilated.
The two worlds don't need
to destroy each other.
Look at me.
Half mortal, half zombie.
You're an odd exception.
Both zombies and mortals
know that we can't coexist.
We must
fight to the death!
(Meowing)
Petey?
(Meowing)
No, you're not
Petey anymore,
you're a nasty varmint.
Go away.
Oh. Wait.
Petey!
Oh, you may smell
like rotten fish,
but you'll always
be my Petey.
Back-stabbing louse!
Thank you.
Now you're a real looker.
Wow!
Hey, cats, let me through.
I'm with them.
I'm coming too.
Me too.
I want to go, yeah.
How dare they?
Thou must maintain composure.
Remember, control is power.
(Grunting)
Let us breath together.
One, two--
Shut up, already.
Who care about the Azoth?
What intrinsic power
can it actually proclaim?
I have the power
of darkness unchallenged.
I am the queen of the night
and all of its creatures!
(Laughing)
You obey me!
(Gasping)
Not her!
Use the Azoth!
(All gasping)
(Laughing)
Hey, she killed
the true bearer of the Azoth.
Go on!
Leave at once!
I am your queen!
Get your odious hands
off me!
Thorko!
Right on, sister.
You found the path in your heart
and took Nebulosa down.
Oh, come on, cool cat.
Wake up.
Please.
Come on, wake up.
Wake up. Wake up.
Wake up.
Good grief,
you finally came to.
What happened?
This feisty little appendix
was the cause of all this mess.
Perfect. We can use it
as party decor.
Oh, right.
Your party.
Our party!
The one we're throwing
at home,
and absolutely everyone
is invited!
(Music playing)
(Chattering)
Rubber worms!
Who wants one?
Take it!
It's the last one left.
No, thanks.
Save me, Sophia!
The zombie hunters are after me!
Help!
You'll never escape,
you putrid ball of flesh.
(Grunting)
Honestly, I could care less
if the whole world's in there.
I'd rather die
than be with those geeks.
Ugh!
Whatevs.
(Ringing doorbell)
(Sighing)
Wait for me.
We'll only
stay five minutes, okay?
Isis, Gonner,
if you can hear me,
I just wanted to thank you
for everything.
(Gasping)
(Laughing)