Muppet Treasure Island (1996) Movie Script

I was Flint's first mate|that voyage...
three days east of Tortola|in the Caribie.
Flint knew an island.
That's where we buried|the treasure.
Gold and blood,|they were Flint's trademarks.
He'd leave both|behind him that day.
Shiver my timbers|Shiver my soul
Yo ho, heave ho
There are men whose hearts|are as black as coal
Yo ho, heave ho
And they sailed their ship|'cross the ocean blue
A bloodthirsty captain|and a cutthroat crew
It's as dark a tale|as was ever told
Of the lust for treasure|and the love of gold
Shiver my timbers|Shiver my sides
Yo ho, heave ho
There are hungers as strong|as the winds and tides
Yo ho, heave ho
And those buccaneers|drown their sins in rum
The devil himself would|have to call them scum
Every man aboard would have|killed his mate
For a bag of guineas|or a piece of eight
A piece of eight
- A piece of eight|- A five, six, seven, eight
Hulla wacka, ulla wacka|Something not right
Many wicked icky things|gonna happen tonight
Hulla wacka, moolah wacka|Sailor man beware
When de money in de ground|Dere's murder in de air
Murder in the air
One more time now.
Shiver my timbers|Shiver my bones
Yo ho, heave ho
There are secrets that sleep|with old Davy Jones
Yo ho, heave ho
When the mainsail's set|and the anchor's weighed
There's no turning back|from any course that's laid
And when greed and villainy|sail the sea
You can bet your boots|there'll be treachery
Shiver my timbers|Shiver my sails
Dead men tell no tales
Oh, aye. Fifteen men|went ashore that day...
and only Flint, his own self,|returned.
Oh, aye, and then old Flinty...
up and died afore they could get|back to that cursed island...
and dig up the treasure.
No one knows to this day|who has old Flint's map.
Now, isn't that a story|worth the hearing?
It was the first dozen|times we heard it.
I'll drink to that.
But who has|the map now, huh?
Some black-hearted,|squid-suckin' buccaneer?
Or maybe it's|our very own Jim Hawkins.
If I had it, my friends and I wouldn't|be here serving you rum, Mr Bones.
That's right. We'd be out|searching for that treasure...
sailing the seven seas|on a five-year mission...
boldly going where no man|has gone before.
- Say, that's catchy.|- Huh. Not me.
If I had that treasure map,|I'd be tradin' it for a decent meal.
Hey, Gonzo, you think|he's gonna eat this?
Aye! Beware the one-legged man!|He's the one to fear!
Don't worry, Captain.|We'll watch for him.
Yeah, I'll watch for him,|if he's deliverin' a pizza.
Even old Flinty|feared him.
If he comes pokin' 'round here,|you run for me whippety-quick!
- If we see him, we'll tell you.|- Yeah. One leg, three heads...
couple of dozen noses...|if anything weird happens...
And it'll be nay|jokin' matter, hose nose.
The one-legged man|brings death.
Time, gentlemen!
It's closing time!
Ya pays your bills,|and then ya shove off.
Go on. Out ya go!
Oh, you're drunk again,|are ya?
Boys, look at the state|of this place!
How comes it gets to be|such a pigsty, huh?
Pigsty? Hey!
No offence meant, gentlemen, sirs.|No offence meant.
- Here's to you, boys!|- Time!
- I'm away to my room.|- Thank you, Mr Bones.
- Thank you, Bill.|- There you go!
Don't forget to come back tomorrow|for our lunchtime special:
- roast suckling...|- Huh?
- Potatoes, sir. Potatoes.|- All right.
No... No offence, madam.|No offence.
All right, boys.
When you're finished here,|you can go and clean up in the kitchen.
I left some table scraps|in there for your supper.
Oh, yes, and, boys...
last night you forgot|to put out the lantern!
If you forget that again,|there'll be no table scraps for a week!
You're standing on my ear.
Easy. Whoa, whoa, whoa!|Easy, Rizzo!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!|That's it. Steady.
- I hate my life.|- I hate your life too.
- If I had a life, I'd hate it.|- I should just run off to sea like my father did.
He was my age when he sailed to China as|a cabin boy and he wound up a first mate.
Run off to sea|and just leave everybody?
Who's everybody?|I'm an orphan. I've got no family.
- Hey, you got us!|- Yeah, we're family. Got it.
I mean, some family we are. Be serious,|Rizzo. We don't exactly look alike.
Okay, all right. So I'm a rat and you're|a human being and Gonzo's a, uh...
- Whatever.|- Yeah. We're still family.
- Yeah.|- But I wish my life were more like...
one of Captain Bones'|adventures...
sailing the high seas and|searching for buried treasure.
Yeah, discovering lost islands|and weird civilizations.
Navigating with my father's old compass|to wherever the wind may take us.
- Off to Zanzibar to meet the Zanzibarbarians.|- Here they go again.
To the southwest,|pirate galleons!
To the southeast, multi-armed|Zanzibanian shark women...
and their exploding wigs|of death!
To the northwest,|dirty dishes!
How does she do that?
- Might as well start. I'll wash.|- Oh, yeah. I'll dry.
I'll break.
I look around here|and I want to cry
Me too. Yeah.
I feel like the world|is passing me by
It is.
And I just can't|help but wonder
Am I doomed to wash and dry
And is it a curse I'm under|to do it till I die
- Oh, I hope not.|- Yeah.
- When I could be an explorer|- Sure ya could.
- Sailing off to distant lands|- Not so fast.
Instead of spending|every afternoon
Just getting dishpan hands
My future looks like nowhere|that I want to be
There's gotta be|something better
Something better
There's gotta be something|better than this for me
Well, now you're talkin'.
If it's weird and wild|let's go and find it
The crazier, the better|is what I say
Yeah, that's true.
To tell the truth|I really wouldn't mind it
Mind what?
If we found someplace|with ten square meals a day
Let danger call my name
If it does|I'm gonna hide
I'll put my courage|to the test
And I'll be|by your side
He'll be by your side
There's gotta be|something better than this
- Something more than this|- I know that there's so much out there
- To see|- To see
And I know|this life I'm living
Can't be my destiny
There's gotta be|something better
Something better
There's gotta be something|better than this for me
- And me!|- Wait a minute. What about me?
There's something better|than this for you and
Enough of this singin'!
Rum! I need rum, lads!
I got the horrors!|Give me rum!
Rum till I float!
All right! All right!|Just one small one.
Don't be giving him|any more rum!
How does she blooming do that?
Shh! Shh!
Billy Bones!|It's me, Blind Pew.
I know you're here, Billy.
Ya snivelling coward!
It's some kind|of a blind fiend.
I believe they prefer|"visually challenged fiend. "
Ah, I heard that!|There's someone here!
Uh, no. Over here!
Hmm, over here.
Billy Bones! Ah,|I'd know that scurvy mug...
of yours anywhere.
Excuse me, sir,|but the bar is closed.
Aha. A pretty|little girl, is it?
Yes. Take me|to Billy Bones, my pet.
Y- You've come|to the wrong place.
Th-There's no Billy Bones here,|and I'm not a girl.
Oh, I may be visually challenged,|but I can see you're lying.
Good evening, Bill.|I know it's you.
Yes. You thought you could|get away with it, didn't you?
Just take it all|for yourself...
and leave your shipmates|with nothing.
We're not pleased with that,|Bill. Not at all.
We want you to have this!
Watch where you're going,|you stupid cat!
The Black Spot!
But I don't understand.|What is the Black Spot?
The Black Spot's|a pirate's death sentence!
- Fabulous.|- They'll be comin' to kill me tonight!
- We'd better help.|- Yeah, yeah, let's get some stuff.
- It's my sea chest them lubbers want.|- Underwear.
But I'll trick them! I'll shake out|another reef and daddle 'em again!
You wanna run that by us again|in English, Mr Bones?
It's mine! I'm goin'|for that treasure myself!
And no one-legged|son of a bilge rat will...
Captain Bones!
He died? And this is supposed|to be a kids' movie.
Jimmy. Jim.|Jimmy,Jim,Jim,Jim,Jim.
You always been a decent sort|to old Billy Bones.
But I'm not Jimmy,Jim,Jimmy,|Jim,Jim,Jim,Jim.
He's Jimmy,Jim,Jimmy,|Jim,Jim,Jim,Jim.
- Jim!|- Yes, Captain.
- Yes, Captain. What is it?|- Take the map!
- What map?|- The map to old Flint's treasure!
Don't ya understand|what I been tellin' ya?
I was Flinty's first mate!|We all were! Blind Pew and me!
Me own shipmates,|they'll gully me for sure!
And anybody else to get|their mitts on that map!
A- And gullying hurts, right?
Oh, aye! A lot!
- So quick.|- Go to my sea chest! Get the map!
Oh, yeah.
- Oh, there. There.|- Oh, I think I've... Oh, no.
- Hey, guys, look!|- Rizzo!
Oh, here!|How about this?
Let's see.
Hey, Rizzo, look.
- It is a treasure map.|- We're gonna be rich.
- We're gonna be dead.|- Beware, lads!
- What? The one-legged man?|- Aye! But also...
beware runnin' with scissors|or any other pointy objects.
It's all good fun till|somebody loses an...
We're standing in a room|with a dead guy!
Oh, Billy Bones!|Trick or treat!
Don't try to hide, Billy!|You know what we want!
Where are ya, Billy Bones?|Where are ya, Billy?
Mrs Bluveridge!
There's no use in hiding!
Can't a woman get her|beauty sleep any more?
Jim, what you doing?
Aha! Aha!
Oh! Voila!
- Okay, okay. I found the gun.|- Oh, now we gotta load it.
- Okay.|- Oops.
Okay, where does Mrs Bluveridge|keep the bullets?
Billy's dead, and he hasn't|got the blooming map!
- Those little girls must have it.|- Yeah!
- Get them!|- Yeah!
- Gonzo! Gonzo!|- What? What?
I found the bullets. See?|Here they are. They...
Open up in there!|We wants the map...
and we'll skewer anybody|who gets in the way!
Quick,Jim! The back stairs!
Come on.
Run! Run!
Get out of my inn,|you tattooed miseries!
Can't a woman|get a night's sleep alone?
You come here, you!
This gun is useless!
- You lost all the bullets!|- Well, you're losin' the powder.
The map!|Tell us where it is or die!
- Get them!|- Run! Run, run, run!
Hurry! Hurry!
Outta the way! Outta the way!|Get outta the way!
Oh, Woof.
Wow! What an exit!
- Right through a brick wall!|- I am in such pain.
Come on!
I think I smell|something burning, no?
What are we gonna do?|What are we gonna do?
We can't go home, so...
Oh, no. Uh-uh. No way. You're not|taking me on some crazy treasure hunt.
- I am staying right here!|- Oh, good idea, Rizzo.
Then you can see what half-burned,|vicious pirates look like.
What are we waitin' for?|Gimme that map. Come on. Let's go.
Wait a minute.|What about Mrs Bluveridge?
I'll be fine, boys!|Run for it!
How does she do that?
Who's gonna clean|all this up?
Two for a penny, sir?
- I don't want a baked potato.|- Lovely hot baked potatoes.
- Oh, let's see.|- What a night.
- There it is!|- Huh? Oh. - Oh.
"Trelawny & Son|Master Ship Builders"
Whoa, whoa!|Reality check here, guys!
Do we actually believe some|bozo's gonna give us a ship...
just because we show him|Captain Bones' map?
- It's worth a try, Rizzo.|- I don't know.
May I help you?
Yes. Thank you. We wish to speak|with Squire Trelawney, the shipbuilder.
- We need a ship.|- Ah, I'm sorry.
The squire's in Long Neddry|for the grouse season.
He will return|on the feast of St Lulu.
- Thank you. - That's|that. - Oh, well.
Of course, his rich...
half-wit son|young Squire Trelawney's here.
We'll see him, then.
Well, gentlemen...
this is definitely a genuine,|bona fide treasure map.
Yes. Mr Bimbo told me so.
Oh, Mr Bimbo lives in my finger.|He's very smart. He's been to the moon.
Thank you. Twice.
- I smell a bozo.|- Mm-hmm.
Well done, Beakie.
Now we know that is definitely|too much gunpowder.
Beaker, stop fooling around.|We've got company.
Oh, hello, chappies. Everyone, this is|Dr Livesey and his assistant, Beaker.
They do research|and development for my papa.
Actually, Squire, we were|hoping to meet your father.
- We need a ship for an ocean voyage.|- Ocean? Ocean.
- Ocean?|- You know, the ocean? The big, blue, wet thing?
Oh! Th-The big,|blue, wet thing! Yes!
Say, I know|what's happening here.
You chaps are planning|to sail to this island, aren't you?
- To dig up this treasure.|- Yes, but we must be quiet about it.
- There are pirates looking for this map.|- Yeah, and they wanna kill us for it.
Isn't that exciting?
Pirates, eh?|Well, that settles it.
We'll use one|of my daddy's boats...
and I will personally finance|the voyage for the treasure myself.
- You'll do that? Really?|- What are rich, half-wit sons for?
Well, here's the dock.|Jim, where's our boat?
We're on a dock?|No wonder I'm seasick.
- Ahoy!|- Ah, morning, Squire.
Welcome. Welcome.|Ah, there she is:
the Hispaniola.
- Come on. Let's go!|- Yeah, let's go.
- "Take a cruise," you said.|- Huh?
- "See the world," you said.|- Huh?
Now here we are stuck|on the front of this stupid ship.
Well, it could be worse.|We could be stuck in the audience.
Well, Mr Bimbo...
the ship is provisioned,|the crew is in place...
and the captain should be|on board within the hour.
You have been|a busy little man.
- Oh, look, there goes Jim.|- Oh, yeah, yeah.
Ooh! Ooh, look!
It's the boat|steering thing.
This is called the helm.
Hey, how does it feel,|Captain Hawkins?
Feels like|we're really doing it.
It feels like we're finally|having an adventure!
Yeah. I'm starvin'.|Where's the kitchen?
Heigh ho and up she rises
- Something smells good.|- Heigh ho and up she rises
- Cool.|- Heigh ho and up she rises
Early in the morning
Put him in the longboat|until he's sober
Put him in the longboat|till he's sober
Early in the morning
What have we here?|Stowaways!
I'm afraid we shish-kebab|and barbecue stowaways on this ship.
Wait. I know.|You must be the cabin boys.
- Yeah.|- Hungry, lads?
Well, in my galley, you're always|welcome to help yourselves!
Yes! Thank you!
Oh, yes!
Well, he's got a healthy appetite.|How about you, funny face?
- Huh?|- Here.
Hey. Thank you.
My name is Gonzo,|and the guy in your chicken is Rizzo.
- And you must be Master Hawkins.|- Yes, sir.
Oh, you needn't be callin'|a lowly ship's cook "sir. "
Long John Silver,|at your humble service.
We're just cabin boys,|Mr Silver.
Long John to his friends.
And believe me, lad...
a friend you can trust|is worth his weight in gold.
There's many a dark-hearted|scoundrel in these ports.
Well, what do you mean?|Pirates?
- Shh!|- Pirates! That's rich!
Pirates? What an imagination.|Give me a cracker.
Allow me to introduce|my pet lobster Polly.
Pieces of eight!|Pieces of eight!
Raised him|from a fingerling, I did.
As fine a crustacean|as a man could ask for.
B- But I thought sailors|had talking parrots as pets.
Talking parrots?
What an imagination.|First pirates, now talking parrots?
What's next? A singing, dancing mouse|with his own amusement park?
That's enough now, Polly.|Go on! Shoo!
Right, me hearties. I'm gonna give you|a cook's tour of this fine ship.
If you're gonna be the cook|on this ship, Mr Silver...
I am definitely gonna need|bigger pants.
What's the matter, lads?
Oh, that?
Lost that timber-fighting brigands|off Madagascar under Admiral Hawke.
There's many a man lost a leg and worse|in the service of the king.
Why, look what a cannibal|took off me...
in exchange for me own life.
Oh, you're a fine pair, lads.|That you are.
Bright as buttons,|the lot of ye.
- All hands on deck!|- Come on, then, lads.
Chop-chop! Look lively now.|The captain will be here soon.
- Who's that?|- That is Mr Arrow, the first mate, a capital fellow.
The captain approaches.
Move aside! Make way!|Make ready for the captain!
Lollygaggers will suffer|his wrath!
Wrath? I-Is this captain|bad-tempered?
Is he bad-tempered?|The man is a raging volcano...
tormented by inner demons the likes|of which mere mortals cannot fathom.
He's got demons? Cool!
Heigh-ho, everyone.
- What... That...|- That's the raging volcano?
- He's a frog.|- Maybe he gets hopping mad.
Hopping mad.
Piping aboard|Captain Abraham Smollett.
Good day, Mr Arrow.
I knew it.|He's furious.
- Ah, you there!|- Me?
You were in charge of railing dust.|Thirty lashes, and then you walk the plank.
- I didn't say that, Mr Arrow.|- I was anticipating your whim, sir.
Oh. You must be|the cabin boys.
- Yes, sir!|- Which one of you is Hawkins?
I am, sir.
I knew your father,Jim.|He was a good man.
Thank you, sir.
Well, this is shapin' up|to be a fine voyage, lads.
Oh, yes, indeed.
One leg,Jim.|Count 'em. One.
- Remember what Billy Bones said.|- Oh, Gonzo, he seems all right.
I mean, Long John's only a cook.|How dangerous could he be?
Well, I don't know, but I...|Wait a minute. Where's Rizzo?
Enjoy your cruise, sir.|Next!
All right, folks, have your cheques|made out to "Rat Tours Limited. "
Remember, we put|the rat in "pirate. "
Why, thank you,|Mr Plagueman. Next!
- Rizzo, what are you doing?|- What? Oh, this.
Well, I figure|if the treasure map's a dud...
the trip won't be a total loss,|financially speaking.
Well, the wind seems to be freshening.|The tide is with us.
Mr Arrow,|this voyage has begun.
This voyage has begun!|Raise the gangplank!
- Right, lads!|- Let go forward line!
Let go aft line.|Hard to starboard.
Any man caught dawdling|will be shot on sight.
- I didn't say that.|- I was just paraphrasing.
- Mr Arrow, just set the sails.|- Set the sails!
Hey, where's my camera?
- I'll miss you! I said I'll miss you!|- We'll send postcards!
- Goodbye!|- Goodbye!
When the course is laid|and the anchor's weighed
A sailor's blood|begins racing
With our hearts unbound|and our flag unfurled
We're underway and off|to see the world
Underway and off|to see the world
Heave ho, we'll go
Anywhere the wind|is blowing
Manly men are we
Sailing for adventure|on the deep blue sea
Safely now, Mr Silver. Let's not|get sloppy just because we're singing.
- Aye, aye, sir.|- Danger walks on deck We say what the heck
We laugh at the perils|we're facing
Every storm we ride|is its own reward
And people die|by fallin'overboard
People die|by falling overboard
Heigh ho, we'll go
Anywhere the wind|is blowing
Hoist the sails and sing
Sailing for adventure|on the big, blue, wet thing
I love to see 'em cry|when they walk the plank
I prefer to cut a throat
I love to hang 'em high|and watch their little feet
Try to walk in the air|while their faces turn blue
Just kidding.
It's a good life on a boat
There are distant lands|with burning sands
That call across the oceans
There are bingo games|every fun-filled day
And margaritas|at the midnight buffet
Margaritas|at the midnight buffet
Heigh ho, we'll go
Anywhere the wind|is blowing
Should have took a train
Sailing for adventure|on the bounding main
The salty breezes whisper
Who knows what lies ahead
I just know|I was born to lead
The life my father led
The stars will be|our compass
Wherever we may roam
And our mates|will always be
Just like a family
And though we may|put into port
The sea is always home
All right, Mr Bimbo. I didn't know you|had such a good singing voice. Thank you.
We'll chase our dreams|standing on our own
Over the horizon|to the great unknown
Heigh ho, we'll go
Anywhere the wind|is blowing
Bold and brave and free
- Sailing for adventure|- It's so nauseating!
- Sailing for adventure|- So exhilarating!
- Sailing for adventure|- We're all celebrating!
On the deep blue sea
Roll call!
- Long John Silver?|- Aye, aye, sir!
- Short Stack Stevens?|- Aye!
- One-Eyed Jack?|- Aye!
- Black-Eyed Pea.|- Yeah.
- Walleyed Pike.|- Aye.
Polly Lobster.
- Mad Monty.|- Aye.
- Sweetums.|- Aye.
- Old Tom.|- Aye, aye.
- Real Old Tom.|- Aye.
- Dead Tom?|- Aye, aye.
- Clueless Morgan?|- Huh?
Headless Bill.
Big-Fat-Ugly-Bug-Face-|Baby-Eating O'Brien?
- Angel Marie.|- Aye, aye.
Gentlemen, may I see you|in my cabin?
- Immediately?|- Mm-hmm.
Who hired this crew? This is|undoubtedly the seediest bunch...
of cutthroats, villains|and scoundrels I have ever seen!
So who hired 'em?
Your finger hired the crew?
No, that's silly. The man who lives|in my finger hired the crew: Mr Bimbo.
What? Ah!
Yeah, he relied heavily on the advice|of our excellent cook, Long John Silver.
A cook? And a guy who lives|in a bear's finger?
I'm starting to worry|about this voyage.
Jim, I know Billy Bones|gave you the treasure map...
but I hope you'll give it|to me for safekeeping.
I'll be careful with it, sir.
Beggin' your pardon,|gentlemen...
but I've come with a bit|of a treat for you.
'Tis my very own best brandy...
laid down by the brothers|of Buckfast Abbey...
vintage 1737...
to toast|to a prosperous voyage.
- Oh, spiffy.|- I'm sorry, Mr Silver, but I'm not...
going to allow drinking|on this voyage.
- Oh, well, rules are rules.|- Oh, but, sir...
'tis a tradition for the officers|to toast to the success of a voyage.
Ah, very true.
No, we must set an example|for this questionable crew.
There will be no consumption|of alcohol of any kind.
Oh, sir, but I can vouch|for this crew myself.
You could sail to heaven|and back with these men.
Well, I'm afraid|I must disagree with you.
You wanna knock it off|with the booze?
It's peeling the paint|off of the shuffleboard court.
- Yeah. - Sorry. - Come|on, girls. - We told him.
And that's that.|This conversation is finished.
I understand, sir.
I shall tend to my duty|and see to it...
that every drop of alcohol|is thrown overboard.
Come on,Jim.|Don't bother, Captain.
You can go|if you want to,Jim.
- Come on.|- Yeah.
Oh, well. I guess the human beings|wanna hang out together...
don't wanna spend time|with a rat and a, uh...
- Uh, uh, whatever.|- Yeah.
- Say cheese!|- Cheese!
Oh, that's great.
Cute couple.
Stop it!
I never felt|like this before.
- Denise, what I'm trying to say...|- Yes?
- What I'm trying to say is...|- Yes?
- What I mean to say is, I...|- Yes?
I'm sorry your present|didn't work out.
Oh,Jim, Smollett sails|by rules and laws.
That's what bein' a captain's|all about.
Me, I sails by the stars.
North,Jim. Find me north out there|among them stars.
Well, that's easy.
Ah, yeah, but what|if you don't have a compass?
Long John, please don't drop it.|It was my father's.
It's all I have of his.|Please. Please.
I'm sorry, lad.|I were only foolin'.
- How old were you when he died, then?|- Seven.
I were eight|when my father died at sea.
- First mate, he was.|- My father was a first mate too.
Was he, now?
By the powers.|What a coincidence.
Now,Jim, that be Polaris,|the North Star.
Even in the China Sea,|that's north.
- North. Polaris.|- Uh-huh.
- So we must be heading southwest.|- Smart as paint you are, lad.
Smart as paint.
Now, that gets old Long John|to wonderin'.
Why would we be|sailin' southwest?
The scuttlebutt|among the crew is that, uh...
we're sailin'|for buried treasure...
and, uh, someone on board...
has a map.
'Course,|none of my concern,Jim.
I'm just a ship's cook.
Such matters are best suited to Captain|Smollett. He runs this ship, not I.
Come on, Long John.|You could captain this ship.
That I could, lad.
Maybe someday I will.
- Moonlight swim?|- Okay.
Oh, Smolly, my love for you...
is deeper than|the deep, blue sea.
Get on with you! Go on!
- Yo,Jimbo! Mornin', Long...|- Hi, Long John. Good morning.
Well, at least one of us|is having a good time.
Ah, Rizzo, it's not so bad.|Angel Marie said that later on...
he'd throw a line out the back|and let me drag along the bottom.
I don't know about this crew. I feel like they're|always watchin' us, just waitin' to pounce.
That's just a figment|of your imagination.
This is a figment|of my imagination?
Now, tell us|where the map is...
or we'll tear ya|limb from limb!
Never. My friend|and I will never tell.
Hey, hey, there could be|extenuatin' circumstances.
I mean, you know...|Wh... I b... If...
Maybe they'll ask|real nice.
- In your dreams!|- Do it, Monty! Do it!
Yeah, do it to me!
Yes! More!
- Oh, no, I can't look.|- Look at this!
I'm taller!|This is so cool!
I may even have a future|with the NBA.
This won't work! He likes it!|Let's torture the rat!
- Huh? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!|- Yeah!
- Oh, no, no!|- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yes.
- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.|- Oh, please, no! I hate basketball!
I got a lovely recipe|for blackened rat.
I say!|This does not look safe!
- What? What? What? What?|- I b... I burned my hand.
Kiss it or something!
Poodly, poodly, poodly,|poodly, poodly.
Mr Arrow, lock those three up|for the remainder of the voyage.
- Yes, sir!|- You can't hold us!
- To the brig! Move along!|- Will you stop crying! Will you shut up!
- Move along.|- Oh, good. That's good. Yeah.
Master Hawkins, may I see you|in my cabin, please?
Yes, sir.
- Ready, Mr Gonzo?|- Ready!
Tie off the rope, Beaker!
We call this|the window shade cure.
All right.|Snip, snip, snip.
Oh, great! Wow!
That was so cool!
Hmm? Oh, sure.
- Who's the lady pig, sir?|- Never mind that,Jim. Listen.
I'm hoping you're willing to give me the|map now, considering what's just happened.
I'd rather not, sir.
I'd hoped it wouldn't|come to this,Jim, but...
as captain, I order you|to give me the map.
- Mr Arrow?|- Aye, aye, Captain.
Lock up this treasure map.
It will be safe|in here, sir.
It's been six weeks|since we left England.
Five days|since we had a breeze.
I got the madness!
I got cabin fever!
I've got it too!
Cabin fever!
I got cabin fever|It's burning in my brain
I got cabin fever|It's driving me insane
We got cabin fever|We're flipping our bandannas
Been stuck at sea so long|that we have simply gone bananas
We, we, we got cabin fever
We lost what sense we had
We got cabin fever|We're all going mad
Grab your partner by the ears|Lash him to the wheel
Do-si-do, step on his toe|Listen to him squeal
Allemande left|Allemande right
It's time to sail or sink
Swing your partner|over the side
- Drop him in the drink|- We've got cabin fever.
- No ifs, ands or buts.|- We're disoriented.
- And demented.|- And a little nuts.
Volkswagen car
We were sailing, sailing
The wind was on our side
And then it died.
I got cabin fever|I think I lost my grip
I'd like to get my hands|on whoever wrote this script
I was floating|'neath the tropic moon
And dreaming|of a blue lagoon
Now I'm as crazy as a loon
Cabin fever|has ravaged all aboard
This one small vessel|has become a floating psycho ward
We were sailing, sailing|heading who knows where
And now though|we're all here
We're not all there
Cabin fever!
- The wind is back.|- What are we doing?
What's goin' on here?
- What was that?|- I feel like such a fool.
- Yeah, me too.|- I hope nobody saw that. Embarrassing.
- Get us outta here! Help!|- We didn't hit him!
Come on. Let us out.|We was only joking.
- Hey, Long John! Hey, get us outta here!|- Yeah!
- Hey-ey-ey, Polly.|- What?
- What was that song that just happened?|- What are you talkin' about?
You know.|Cabin Fever
- That.|- You see,John?
You gotta get us outta here now!|Clueless is startin' to go crackers!
Here you go.
- Your bread and water for today.|- But I ordered shrimp scampi.
It's more than you deserve,|ya villainous dogs!
By rights,|I should be locked up too...
for lettin' thieves like them|aboard this ship.
Oh, it chills me...
to think that they almost|killed your little friends...
looking for some|daft treasure map.
None of this would've happened if I'd|have given Captain Smollet the... I mean...
What, lad?
I'm not really sure I should be talking|about this with you or with anyone.
You mean, you've really|got a treasure map?
Not any more. Mr Arrow took it and|locked it up in the captain's cabin.
You must promise|to keep it a secret.
Don't bother your head about that.|You've only told old Long John.
Now, you run along|and do your chores. Go on.
Go on.
Safely now. Safely.
Steady as she goes.
Oh. Mr Silver, good evening.
Wicked fog tonight, sir.
Reminds me of the night|we ran aground off the pampas.
Half the crew drowned|in leaky lifeboats.
Ah, it were|a terrible shame.
- Leaky lifeboats?|- Oh, a common occurrence, sir.
A little-used piece of equipment|falls into disrepair...
- and becomes, shall we say...|- Unsafe?
Oh, I'm not sayin'|our lifeboats are unsafe, sir.
I'm not sayin'|we got problems...
Hmm. Hmm.
The caulking appears tight.|No dampness under the gunwale.
This one seems seaworthy.
Well, sir, they do, of course, until|you get them out in the open ocean.
- Cast me off, Mr Silver.|- Oh, yes, sir.
Oh, sir, is there anything I can|hold for you for safekeeping?
Your hat? Your coat?
- Your keys?|- Hmm? My keys?
Of course. If they were to fall|overboard, it would be disastrous.
Oh, that it would, sir.
Cast me off, Mr Silver!
Aye, aye, sir!
Thank you, Mr Silver.
Just doin' my duty, sir.
Oh, yes,John.
Man overboard!
- I'm sorry, sir.|- Wha...
Mr Arrow's gone overboard,|and...
all we found was his hat!
Oh, no.
And so, my friends, the sea has claimed|another loyal officer and friend.
- This was a person who served...|- I got it! I got it!
Okay, after you, Monty.
- No, after you. - Will|you just come on. - Okay.
Mr Samuel Arrow,|a wonderful man who...
used to get us up from our beds|before dawn for a good flossing.
- Okay, okay. Now, spread out and find the map.|- Yeah.
May the wind be ever at your back,|Samuel Arrow. Rest in peace, my friend.
- Amen.|- Amen.
- See? See?|- Wait. Open it. Open it.
No, no, no, we gotta take it|to Long John. Come on.
This apple has a worm in it.
That's not a worm.|That's my tail.
What's wrong?
- It just feels so weird.|- You mean, that Mr Arrow's dead?
Yeah, that, and my pants|are filled with starfish.
You and your hobbies!
- Jim, we've missed you! Climb in!|- Can't. I'm doing my chores.
- Oh, come on. Share an apple.|- Yeah, come on!
- Anyway, here's the plan.|- I say we should kill that captain now.
- And then we'll get that twit of a bear!|- Can we make a rug out of him?
Oh, hi, Long John.
I'm an easy man.|A gentlemen of fortune, says most.
But it makes me sick at heart|to sail with the likes of you.
Now, get this straight.
If anyone mutinies|before I says so...
I'll throw you overboard|like I did that scurvy mate Mr Arrow!
I says, let the captain|steer us closer to the island.
I've got the lad's|treasure map now.
When the time is ripe,|we'll kill 'em all!
- That's what I said! - That's what|I said! - We're gonna kill them all!
- Land ho!|- Come on, lads! Let's go!
Yea! Land ho!
Oh, my goodness.
Land ho!
Beachfront property!
Retirement estates!
- Bikinis!|- Bikinis!
Throw the mainsail!|Drop anchor!
Bring her up hard of starboard,|helmsman. Prepare to lower the longboats.
Bring those barrels|over here, lads!
Helmsman, give a hand|with the longboats.
- Captain, may I speak with you?|- I'm sort of busy right now,Jim.
But, Captain, we just heard. Long John is|planning a mutiny, and he's got the treasure map.
- Yeah.|- I see.
- Mr Silver?|- Aye, aye, Cap'n!
Mr Silver, I want you|to take the crew ashore at once.
We need water and provisions.|Take as long as you want.
Sir! 'Tis a task to my liking, sir.|That it is!
- Quickly, boys. Gather the officers and meet me in my quarters. Quickly.|- Yes, sir.
This is a lucky break.|Captain lettin' us go ashore.
Us with the map and all.
It's like giving the treasure to us|on a silver platter.
Aye, that it is, Polly.|Never trust a silver platter.
Follow me, Beakie. Come along.
Jim, lad!
There's room in the boat for one more.|Come along for an adventure.
- I-I can't. The captain wants me.|- Oh, what a shame!
I'll miss you, lad.|That I will.
Um,Jim! I seem to have|left my crutch on board.
Hand it to me like|a good lad, will ya?
There's a good boy.
Have to be a bit closer than that.|Can't reach it from there.
- Oh!|- Oh! Ah!
Cast away, men!|Be quick now!
Go, go, go!|Don't splash!
The plan is simple.
Once the pirates are ashore,|we set sail and return in a year or so.
- By then, all the fight should be out of'em.|- Oh, now I understand.
That's a brilliant plan.
- Except for one thing.|- What's that?
The pirates have Jim!
I'm tired!
- You're what?|- I'm gettin' tired!
- He says go faster.|- I'm gettin' tired!
Hey, man! I can't figure out|what side we're on.
Are we with the pirates|or the frog captain?
Oh, hey, man,|just play the gig.
Never get involved in politics.
Jim, lad!
Easy,Jim.|'Tis all in good fun.
Pleased I am to initiate you|into our enterprising, um, company.
Which entitles you|to all the benefits thereof.
- But I don't want any benefits. - This|is a one-time special offer,Jim, lad.
Say no, and I will be forced|to, um, terminate our relationship.
- You're nothing but murdering pirates.|- Pirates!
Pirates. Oh,Jim.
If that's what|you're thinking...
you're dead wrong.
When I was just a lad
Looking for my true vocation
My father said|Now, son, this choice
Deserves deliberation
Though you could be a doctor
Or perhaps a financier
My boy, why not consider|a more challenging career
Hey, ho, ho
- You'll cruise to foreign shores|- Sing it, lads!
- And you'll keep your mind and body sound by working out of doors|- Show him you been practisin'!
True friendship and adventure|are what we can't live without
- And when you're a professional pirate|- That's what thejob's about
Upstage, lads!|This is my only number.
Now take Sir Francis Drake|The Spanish all despise him
But to the British he's a hero|and they idolize him
It's how you look at buccaneers
That makes them bad or good
And I see us as members|of a noble brotherhood
- Hup!|- Hey, ho, ho
- Oh, I love it! - We're honourable|men - 'Tis poetry in motion.
And before we lose our tempers|we will always count to ten
On occasion there may be|someone you have to execute
But when you're|a professional pirate
You don't have|to wear a suit
- What?|- I could have been a surgeon I like taking things apart
I could have been a lawyer|but I just had too much heart
I could have been in politics
'Cause I've always been|a big spender
And me, I could have been|a contender
Some say that pirates steal
And should be feared and hated
I say we're victims|of bad press
It's all exaggerated
We'd never stab you|in the back
We'd never lie or cheat
We'rejust about the nicest guys
You'd ever want to meet
Well, look at us,Jim.
We're a festival|of conviviality.
- That's conviviality, stupid.|- That's what I said.
We're ready, O capitn.
Good. You men guard the ship while I'm|gone. We'll be back as soon as we get Jim.
- Aye, aye, Captain.|- Cast off, Mr Beaker.
Thanks for coming along, men.
- Are you kidding? Jim is family.|- Yeah.
Tell the truth, lad.
Do you really think the captain|and the squire...
are planning to share the treasure|with the likes of us?
Can't hear ya.
And we being|the rightful owners.
Flint's own crew, who shed|our blood getting it here!
Join us, lad.
Donate your compass to the|treasure hunt and get a full share!
Hey, ho, ho|It's one for all for one
And we'll share|and share alike with you
And love you like a son
We're gentlemen of fortune|and that's what we're proud to be
And when you're|a professional pirate
You'll be honest|brave and free
The soul of decency
You'll be loyal and fair|and on the square
And most importantly
When you're|a professional pirate
You're always in the best
Of company
- Down!|- There! Captain Smollett coming to rescue me.
Don't get your hopes up, laddie.
I've taken the liberty of hiding|a few of my best men aboard.
If a second round follows...
it means they've|taken over the Hispaniola...
and I'm the new cap'n.
Now, then.
How infortuitous our firearms|weren't loaded, Beakie.
I'll say.|We might have shot somebody.
I'm the only friend|you got in the world now,Jim.
Let's dig up|the treasure together, eh?
Shipmates, remember?
- We'll be needing your compass, though.|- No.
I'll be taking it|either way,Jim.
Come on then, lad.|Let's not waste time.
Well, it's too dark|to do anything now.
We'll camp here|and wait for first light.
Oh. Hey, Rizzo, relax!|Don't be so afraid.
Oh, I've gone|way beyond afraid.
Right now I'm somewhere between|bed-wetting and a near-death experience.
- Good night, boys. -|Well, good night. - Right.
- 'Night, Rizzo.|- Yeah, sure.
Gonzo?|Is that you, Gonzo?
Boy, Gonzo, it sounds like you're|coming down with a little cold there.
I- I-I'm just gonna light a match,|if you don't mind, here.
Long John, look!
Flint hung 'em up there|after he gullied 'em...
to mark the trail|to the treasure.
Wicked sense of humour|ol' Flinty had.
- I-It's a sign. This is a cursed place.|- Yeah!
Well, there's|an informed opinion.
All right,Jim, lad,|where to from here?
"On a heading|of 179 degrees...
walk 312 paces|from where the dead men hang high. "
That way!
- We're gonna go? We're gonna...|- Come on!
Howdy vous,|stinky froggy man and friends.
I am Spa'am,|High Priest of the Boars.
You mucho wickedness|go trespass on island.
Now you suffer the wrath|of our queen...
Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal.
Terrific. Captured by crazed wild pigs and|sacrificed hideously before a pagan altar.
- Are we lucky or what?|- Silence, smelly sailor mans!
You have violated|sacred island.
Uh-uh, excuse me.|I am Captain Smollett.
We mean no harm|to your culture.
We embrace all creatures|of different nationalities.
Bring forth|Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal.
That can't be good.
Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal|Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal
Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal|Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal
Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal|Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal
These tropical floor shows|are so exotic.
Yeah, and the food|is to die for.
Boom Sha-Kal-a-Ka-a-a-al
Bonsoir, mes ami.
Come, Flaubert.
Flaubert! Get away,|you stupid anteater!
- You spoiled my entrance.|- Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal
Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal|Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal
- Oh, knock it off!|- Huh?
Oh, ha-ha. Greetings.|Moi am Benjamina Gunn.
Maroonee, temptress|and queen of this i...
Smolly, can it be you?
Oh, uh, old girlfriend.
Tie 'em back|in their stakes!
...306, 307, 308, 309...
- 310, 311, 312.|- This is it.
What if Clueless is right?|Wh-What if it is c-cursed?
I'll show you what|I think of your curse.
You mewling, little,|lily-livered...
toffee-hearted,|little wuss of a crustacean!
"Treasure buried here. "
Oi, we don't even|have to dig it up!
Come on, mates!|The treasure's ours!
There's no treasure, Silver!|You brought us here for nothin'!
- Yeah!|- And now we'll be tried for mutiny!
- That's right!|- Yeah! - Yeah!
I say we should kill him!
Run, lad!|Save yourself!
- Why are you doing this for me?|- Because I like you, boy.
I hope you didn't think|I was lying about that.
- Get him! -|Run! - Get him!
Take greeny, flippy,|bulgy-eyed one away.
- What?|- Others stay. Chop-chop!
- What? Oh. Ah. Oh. Uh.|- Hey, wait! Where are you taking him?
Hmm ver-di-dee-voom|Ver-di-dee-doo
Bork, bork
Hmm. First take-ee the mousie,|then skewer the mousie!
- Well, how else do you think we were gonna get him in this movie?|- Yeah.
- Oh!|- Whoa!
- Oh. I wish we were back at the Admiral Benbow eating table scraps.|- We're about to become table scraps.
Well, this is terrible! This is the|worst thing that's ever happened to me!
- Wait a second! I've been cut loose!|- Hiya, guys.
- Jim, they've got Captain Smollett.|- I know. Come on. We've got to get help.
Oh, okay.|Where will we go?
Tom, Tom, Tom!|Ohhh!
Dead Tom's dead!
Long John shot him!
But Dead Tom's|always been dead.
That's why he's|called Dead Tom.
- Oh.|- Can we get on with this? Get outta here, will ya?
- Clueless!|- Yeah, yeah?
- Give it to him!|- Yeah!
But, uh, it's not|even his birthday.
- No, no, no, no! The paper!|- Oh.
This is for you.
- The Black Spot?|- Yeah.
You dare to give me|the Black Spot?
- Uh, he-he told me to.|- Wh... Shut up, will ya?
And it's drawn|on a page from the Bible.
You tore a page|from the Holy Scriptures...
- to make a pirate's death sentence?|- Uh, here.
Ohhh, the red hot|gates of hell...
are creeping open!
Satan is heating|his pokers for you...
you blasphemous heathens!
- Fall down on your knees...|- Oh!
and beg for deliverance|from damnation!
- Please forgive us.|- Please forgive me!
Very good.|You're forgiven.
- Oh, thank you.|- Now untie me!
Okay, okay. Untie him.
- And let's go find the treasure!|- Yeah!
Oh, oh, you are a good man.
You are a kind man.|A handsome man.
- Precious.|- Oh, he's... You're precious a-and...
- Beautiful.|- And he's beautiful. Oh.
Yeah, here's the boat.|Oh, no!
Well, that won't help us.|We're gonna have to swim to the ship.
Hello! Earth to Jimbo.
Swimming to a ship that's full of killer|pirates to save the captain is not a good plan.
- Look!|- Yes. The gunwale and keel are definitely safe.
- Mr Arrow! - Mr|Arrow! - It's me!Jim!
- Over here!|- Mr Arrow, over here!
Oh. Oh, boys.|Come join me...
aboard this exceptionally|safe little boat.
By the way, that Silver fellow|may not be trustworthy.
- Ha-ha! Now he tells us!|- Yeah.
And here's a photo opportunity|you will not want to miss.
The actual jungle location for the movie|Muppet Treasure Island.
- Oh, my goodness!|- Keep up, people.
- Hey, when do we eat?|- Oh, my feet are killing me.
Of all the backwater,|no-class piles of sand in the ocean...
you had to wash up on mine.
Benjamina, I just want you|to know that I'm sorry.
Sorry? No, no,|sorry doesn't cut it.
You left me standing|at the altar!
I was on a ship headed|for Zanzibar. I got cold feet.
You're a frog.|You're supposed to have cold feet.
My mother came|all the way from France.
I was wearing|her white lace dress.
The cake was filled|with lemon custard!
Mina, fate has brought us|together again.
Well, actually, buried treasure|and pirates brought us together...
Don't you start with me|about pirates!
After you jilted me, I took|up with this Bernie Flint.
- The man was totally codependent.|- You and Captain Flint?
Well, he was a pirate, I was a lady.|You know the story.
Smolly? He marooned me.
Oh. Oh. Oh.
Th-This is all my fault.|Oh, what have I done to you?
- Mushy-mushy! - Kissy-kissy!|- Oh, lovey-dovey!
Bravo, Cap'n.
Touchin' reunion, Benjamina.
This seems to be your day|for renewing old...
Oh, well, hello, Long John.
- Oh, no! Him too?|- Well, if you'd married me.
Well, what does that|have to do with it?
- I'm a pig! I need commitment! - Commitment?|- You knew that about me when you...
Now, I'm not gonna be really patient|about this, Benjamina.
Where is the treasure?
Um, I just may not|tell you. Hmm.
Oh, don't play games with me, lass.
I tell you,|I'm not a patient man.
Stop! Give up now...
weak and tiny pirate mans...
or die like stinking dogs.
Hmm, we see you have|boom-boom sticks.
Oh, brother!
- Now, Benjamina.|- What?
Where is the treasure?
There is no treasure.|I- It was all a clever ruse. H-Ha!
So where did you get that|gold necklace you're wearing?
The one made|of Spanish doubloons.
Shopping Channel?
- Shh.|- Shh.
Oh, fiddle!
Make yourself useful.|Try and save us. Do something!
Oh, Master Hawkins,|you've come to rescue us.
I should've let him|live in my finger.
We're ready,|Master Hawkins.
- Do you think this will work, Dr Livesey?|- Oh, yes!
My research indicates|that pirates are very superstitious.
Boogie, boogie, boogie!
I am the ghost|of Samuel Arrow.
Come on.|We've got to save the captain!
You were so good, Mr Arrow.|That was beautiful.
What do we do next?|What do we do now? Uh,Jim?
- Weigh anchor? - Weigh|anchor. - Weigh anchor. Okay.
- Set the sails.|- Set the sails!
- And you, Squire Trelawney.|- Uh, n-n-now, Master Hawkins, I-I-I...
You take the helm.
Ah! Step aside, Mr Bimbo.|I shall be taking the helm.
Hurry, Rizzo!
I'm going as fast as I can.
Oh! Smolly, my love!
Oh, oh!
You can't hurt my frog!
Don't tell him anything, Mina.|I beg you!
He'll only kill you too.|Don't listen to him!
for the last time...
where's the blasted treasure?
- Yeah!|- Hah!
Stop! Stop, stop, stop, stop!|The treasure's at my place.
North trail, split-level hut with the|pink lawn furniture. You can't miss it.
Now free him at once,|you scoundrel!
You know, I'm beginning to see|a pattern in the men I date.
Yeah, well, uh, uh,|the past is behind us.
And the future below us.
Oh, it's okay, Mina.|We're together again.
Yes, despite it all...
we have each other.
- Oh, don't cry for me, Benjamina.|- Pardon?
Was I dumb|or was I blind
Or did my heart|just lose its mind
Why'd I go and throw
Our perfect dream away
Looking back|I'll never know
How I ever let you go
But destiny could see|we deserved
To have another day
Love led us here
Right back|to where we belong
We followed a star|and here we are
Now heaven seems so near
Love led us here
Now I know that life
Can take you by surprise
And sweep you off your feet
Did this happen to us
Or are wejust dreaming
Love led us here
Right back|to where we belong
We followed a star|and here we are
Now heaven seems so near
Love led us here
So take my hand
And have no fear
We'll be all right
Love led us
Oh, Smolly.|You saved me.
Come on, men!|It's back to Blighty now, lads!
The treasure's all ours!
Hurry. Come on.|Get in the boat.
Long John! Long John!|Look! The ship!
Uh, yeah...|What are they doing?
There's no one on board.
It's coming|straight for us!
I- It's the ghost|of Captain Flinty.
He's coming to kill us.
Come back, you cowards!
Look. It's the captain|and the pig.
Oh, no!
Head for those cliffs.
- Head for the cliffs, Squire.|- Aye, aye! Uh. Oh.
Oh, Beakie, Beakie.|Look, look!
I think we're going to need a net.|Come along.
Get back there,|you yellow-bellied bilge rats!
I'm not losing|that treasure now! Get out!
We're lowering the net now.
All right, let's go. Okay.|That's it. Beautiful. Beautiful.
- We're coming, Captain Smollett!|- Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
- Steady! Steady!|- Careful!
Au revoir, mon capitaine.
- We got 'em!|- Oh, ho, ho! Yes!
- Ahh!|- Oh, no!
Waldorf, you old fool!|We're heroes!
We saved the pig|and the frog!
Well, it was too late|to save the movie.
Welcome aboard,|Captain Smollett.
And welcome|to your lady pig friend.
Ah! Look out! Ah!
The captain must have his sword.
Wow! Ha!
Fight, you idiots!
- Here! - Ha!|Ah! - Hi-ya!
- Wah!|- All right! No more Ms Nice Guy!
No one maroons me|and gets away with it!
- Good to see you alive, Mr Arrow.|- Huh! Thank you, Captain.
Oh, what am I gonna do? Oh!
- Come on! - Come|on, you! Hey! - Oh!
- Oh, sorry.|- En garde!
- Mi casa es su casa.|- Ah, I make cheese out of you. Come on!
- Hi-yee, De Soto! Hi-ya!|- Oh, yah!
- Hah!|- Ahhh!
Come on,Jerry!|He's just a kid!
- Ohhh!|- Okay, okay, okay!
Okay, I give.|Uncle. Uh, I'm dead.
Oh, oh, oh, Mr Bimbo, help!
- Am I dead?|- Huh?
- Wonderful!|- Uh...
- Mr Bimbo, that was some amazing swordplay.|- Take that!
Oh, watch out, Mr Arrow!
Well, thank you. But aren't you|supposed to be fighting against us?
Are you kiddin'?|I love you guys!
- Hmm.|- Hmm.
Come on. Fight.|Where are you?
- Ohhh!|- Hmm.
And as for you!
- Oh!|- Silver!
Hmm-hmm. Hah!
Hah! Hah!
Why don't you pick on|somebody your own size, huh?
- Ah. Ha-ha-ha-ha!|- Wow!
Yes! Yes! Smolly! Yes!
- Hah!|- Yes!
Ha-ha, Silver!
Ha-ha, ho-ho!|Not bad for an amphibian.
Smolly, Smolly, he's our man!|If he can't do it, no one can! Yea!
- Ho-ho-ho! Ha-ha! -|Excuse me. - Pardon? Whoop.
Uh... Uh... Uh...
I'm a frog.|You know, slippery hands.
Uh, you know, I never really believed|that violence solved anything anyway.
Really? Allow me|to disagree, Cap'n.
Kill Captain Smollett,|and you'll have to kill me.
Kill Jim,|and you'll have to kill me.
Kill Gonzo,|and you'll have to kill me.
Kill Squire Trelawney|and Mr Bimbo...
and you'll have to|negotiate strenuously.
Going somewhere,|John-John?
Well, Mr Hawkins,|it seems your little family...
has come together|against me.
- We're doomed.|- Yeah.
Well, you know, I, for one,|feel better about myself.
Yeah. A-And I believe|that I have learned a valuable lesson.
- Why, you!|- Shut up!
Okay, stop biting me.|Okay, I said something wrong!
I suppose you'll be blowing|the whistle on me now, won't you,Jim?
I suppose I will. You have to return|to Bristol to stand trial.
Oh, I'm sorry,Jim.|I got a terrible fear of hanging.
We're shipmates, aren't we,Jim?
Gentlemen of fortune, together.
Give us one more chance?
Oh, hell,Jim.|I could never harm you.
You're honest|and brave and true.
- You didn't learn that from me.|- I learnt it from my friends, Mr Silver.
Now take your oars and row away.|I never want to see you again, ever.
'Tis a shame, really. We'd|have made a great team,Jim.
Well done,Jim.|Your father would be proud.
Captain Smollett,|I have most distressing news.
One of the jolly boats is missing, and I|know for a fact that it was terribly unsafe.
This is not fun.
Flaubert, meet Da-Da.
- Ready to sail, sir.|- Hmm.
Where to,|Captain Hawkins?
To wherever the wind|may take us.
Off to Zanzibar,|to meet the Zanzibarbarians.
Oh, brother.|Here they go again.
Love power
Love power
Love power
A little love power
Stronger than the hurricane
And softer than|the summer rain
- Love power|- What kind of power
A little love power
It can lift you up|Lift you up when you get low
And make your life|bright as the rainbow
There ain't no sun|in the morning sky
Whoa oh-oh-oh-oh
Breeze ain't blowing|and the bird don't fly
Whoa oh-oh-oh-oh
Then someone kind|reaches out a hand
And smiles|a warm sweet smile
And then your heart|come to understand
What make the world spin|Where do magic begin
Someone to believe in
Feel so good|when everybody feels
- Love power|- There's no higher power
- A little love power|- Nothing in the world
Stronger than the hurricane
And softer|than the summer rain
Oh, love power
- Everybody, feel it|- A little love power
Lift you up when you get low
And make your life|bright as the rainbow
So many people|they feel so bad
Whoa oh-oh-oh-oh
Yeah, they make the money|but they still so sad
Whoa oh-oh-oh-oh
Nobody told them|that it ain't that stuff
That makes life worthwhile
'Cause even if|you've got enough
You got less than nothing|till you know for certain
Enough to put your faith in
It feels so good|when everybody feels
- Love power|- People, can you feel it
A little love power
Lift you up when you get low
And make your life|bright as the rainbow
Let me tell you now
- Whoa-oh|- Feel the inspiration
- Hey|- Don't it feel like heaven
It make the soul|and the spirit strong
When everybody come|and every single one
They hear the song now
Oh, love power
A little love power
Stronger than the hurricane
And softer|than the summer rain
- Can you feel it, oh|- Love power
- What kind of power|- A little love power
It can lift you up
Lift you up when you get low
And make your life|bright as the rainbow
- One love|- Lift you up when you get low
- And make your life bright as the rainbow|- So,Johnny.
May I call you Johnny?|Stop me if you heard this one.
Why does the ocean roar?
Give up?
You would, too, if you had|crabs on your bottom...
and oysters in your bed.
Get it? Oysters? Bed?
Ooh, I love that one.
I'm tellin' ya, I got|a million more just like that.
Was I dumb
Or was I blind
Or did my heart|just lose its mind
Why'd I go and throw
Our perfect dream away
Oh, looking back
I'll never know
How I ever let you go
But destiny could see|we deserve
To have another day
Love led us here
Right back|to where we belong
We followed a star|and here we are
Now heaven seems so near
Love led us here
Love led us here
I confess
It's sad but true
- Sad but true|- I lost myself when I lost you
But I held your memory
Through each lonely night
Oh, let's forget
- What's gone before|- What's gone
- Now we both know so much more|- So much more
And we've been given|another chance
To make it work out right
Make it work
Love led us here
Right back|to where we belong
We followed a star|and here we are
Now heaven seems so near
Love led us here
Now I know that life|can take you by surprise
And sweep you off your feet
Did this happen to us
Or are we just dreamin'
We followed a star|and here we are
Now heaven seems so near
Love led us here
So take my hand
And have no fear
We'll be all right
Love led us