Murder In-Law (2019) Movie Script

It's fine, Allison.
Dad, didn't What? hear something
about one of your old cases?
What? told you about the Andover
cold case, didn't What?? No.
Certainly told the rest
of the world.
What? could've sworn What? did.
I'm getting old, Jimmy.
Get this - Will finally
got a confession.
You want to guess who did it?
The guy you thought did it?
Damn right.
Richard Paul. Just like What? always
said. That's great.
Makes me wish What? hadn't retired.
You did more than your fair
share of good, Dad.
That job was going to give you
a heart attack.
Time to enjoy life.
This is very nice, Allison.
Thank you, Claire.
The chickens not as dry
as you usually make it.
Come on, Mom!
What? noticed the china could use
a good polish.
I'll come over this week to do it.
No, you do not have to do that.
It was my wedding gift to you.
What? want it taken care of so that
you can pass it down to Sydney.
What? don't mind.
CLEARS THROA Mom, Dad, we actually have
some big news of our own.
What? got a promotion.
Wahey. Attagirl!
Vice president.
Whoa! And...
...there's something else. Mm-hmm?
Well, the position is in New York
and we'll be moving there
this summer.
Holy smokes, that...that
is big news.
What? love New York.
Oh, you've got to know we're going
to come and visit a lot.
Well, we would love that.
What? know this is a really big
change, but Jim and What? think... could be an adventure
for our family.
You know, I've been thinking
about getting an RV.
We could ride up to see them and
catch the sights on the way.
What do you think, Claire?
Mm. Yes.
Congratulations, Allison.
Car's put away.
Are you still pouting?
What? don't pout.
Your baby boy doesn't
need you any more.
He belongs to Allison now.
It'll be all right.
'I'm teasing.
I'm going to miss him too.
Look at the bright side -
finally it will just be
the two of us.
Why don't you let me take
your mind off things?
What? could take a little blue pill.
Are you decent? What? hope not.
Hey. Get away from me!
What are you doing? Get away!
Sydney, you're going to be late.
You want some breakfast?
I'm not hungry.
Thought What? was going to be late.
Teenagers. Am What? right?
Hilarious, Dad.
She's right.
You need some new material.
New material?
Hey, Sydney, take a look at these.
Oh, my God.
The concert tickets!
You actually got them?
Thank you so much, Dad. Thank you.
That is so awesome.
OK. Have a good day.
Oh. Hey, Charlie.
Hey! What? know we're supposed to meet
for lunch today but I've got
contractors coming over and who
knows when they'll show up?
Oh, that's cool.
We can reschedule.
Why don't you just eat at my place
instead? I've got tonnes of food.
OK. Sounds like plan.
See you later.
Why didn't you just tell him
to do the dishes?
You're right.
You're right. It sounds completely
ridiculous, doesn't it?
Don't you find it interesting,
you have no problem asserting
yourself at work
yet at home you bite your tongue.
All right.
You're sounding like a shrink.
Jim's a good guy. Just tell him
what you need from him.
Ah, but that's the thing -
What? don't want to have to tell him.
I'm his wife, not his mother.
Ah-ha! Ah-ha?
It always comes back
to your mother-in-law.
OK. Well, she's a little hard to
What? mean, she stops by all the time.
She even comes over to make sure
that Jim has enough clean laundry.
Did What? tell you that?
This is exactly what What? mean.
Pathetic, right?
That's the thing about biting
your tongue.
Once you start, it's hard to stop.
As soon as What? let her take
over that wedding,
it was like she had...
...won the war.
The war? Wow, Allison.
That is a lot of power
to let someone have over you
for a long time.
What is their secret?
What? really need to meet this woman.
You do not want to meet this woman.
Trust me.
Did you guys tell her about
the move? Last night.
You know, and What? was dreading it
because What? thought she might
get dramatic but she didn't
have much to say at all.
It all was kind of weird.
She's probably in shock.
Jim grew up here.
What? don't want to call him
a mama's boy,
but he's kind of a mama's boy.
A little bit. And What? love him.
Just so we're clear.
Who's that?
That is Bradley.
The pool guy. He's cute.
Yeah, What? guess he is.
You're moving.
I'm going to miss you, by the way.
I'm going to miss you too, Charlie.
So much.
Really, Jim? You still haven't
done the dishes?
I'll take care of the dishes, honey.
You've been working all day.
Mom, sit down.
Allison is right. No woman can stand
a messy kitchen.
Mom, the dishes can wait. Please.
Something happened. What is it?
He left me, Allison.
What? Bruce.
Ran off with another woman.
After 38 years of marriage.
Oh, Claire.
Are you sure?
Did he say anything?
He snuck off while What? was
doing my shopping.
Left me a letter.
What? even bought him pork chops.
His favourite.
I'm sorry, sweetie.
You shouldn't have to hear
this about your Pop-Pop.
It's OK, Grandma.
Don't worry about me.
No, thank you.
That generic stuff you buy,
it's too rough on my skin.
He met her at the gym.
You know how I've been pestering him
to exercise?
Well, he finally listened.
And look what happened.
Her name's Missy.
Who names a child Missy?
Well, Missy made him feel young
And Missy has a Winnebago.
And apparently the two
of them are...
...I don't know,
touring the national parks
or whatever it is people do
those tacky things.
He'll come back, Mom. He has to.
What? should have known something was
Last night when we got home
he was so quiet.
And What? thought maybe he was upset
about you guys leaving.
But What? think...
...he realised that...
...he could just go ahead
and leave too.
I'm going to die alone.
Mom, no. Don't say that.
You're right.
What? shouldn't say these kinds of
things in front of you and Sydney.
What? need to be an adult
and deal with this myself.
Let me just take care
of those dishes.
I'll get out of your hair and I'm
sure you have to start dinner.
Forget about the dishes, OK.
It's my turn to cook.
But none of that matters right now.
You cook now?
Yeah, you know that. Oh.
You are so lucky, Allison.
Jim is right.
You need to sit and relax.
I'll order some food.
Well, let me cook.
It'll give me something to do.
Lord knows What? need something
to do right now.
No, Claire, I'm going to order
something delicious.
What? can't eat delivery.
It gives me indigestion
and it's always cold
by the time it arrives.
Not to mention the cost.
OK. I'm going to cook.
Are you sure? What? don't mind.
It's fine. You guys relax.
Is there anything What? can get you?
Maybe some wine.
What? don't drink on weeknights,
and I'm certainly not
going to start now.
No offence to you, Allison.
What? know how you love your wine.
This is very nice, Allison.
You're a dear.
I'm glad you like it.
The sauce is a little salty,
isn't it?
What? wonder what Bruce had for dinner.
Do you think Missy made him
pork chops?
What? want you to stay here tonight.
Oh, nonsense. What? couldn't impose.
No, you wouldn't be imposing.
Well, What? don't even have
my pills or creams.
I'll run to your house and
pick up whatever you need.
What? don't know. Mom, What? insist.
Jim, you haven't even asked Allison.
What? mean, I'm sure she doesn't want
the burden of company right now.
Allison doesn't mind, right?
No, of course not.
You're welcome to stay
as long as you want.
What? do work in here sometimes.
What? can move my stuff if you like.
My mind is cluttered enough already.
What? can't bear a cluttered room.
Who's Charlie? Just a friend.
What? never denied him sex, you know.
Not once in 38 years.
What? can't imagine what you
must be going through, Claire.
Would kill you to call me Mom?
Just once?
I'm sorry. Don't mind me.
I'm just getting my bearings.
What? understand.
It's going to take some time.
Jim will be back soon with your
and there's fresh towels on the bed.
Get yourself settled and let me
know if you need anything.
What a mess.
Hey- HEY-
You OK? Yeah.
You want to talk about
what's going on
with your grandparents?
What? don't know. It's all just
really weird.
Why would Pop-Pop
do that to Grandma?
What? don't know, honey.
Adults don't always behave
Everything OK? Oh, yes.
What? was just going to wash
these sheets and towels.
Those are all clean.
They seem a little dusty.
You know my allergies.
OK. Let me wash them for you.
No, you've done enough already.
And I'm very particular
about my laundry.
Do you have fabric softener?
Yes. ls it that generic stuff?
What? don't remember the brand.
Well, I'll make do.
And do you have any laundry you'd
like Grandma to do for you, Sydney?
Oh, no, thank you, Grandma.
What about a snack?
You barely touched dinner.
Seemed like you didn't care for it.
Yeah, sure.
I'm a little hungry.
Sydney can make her own snack.
You really should take it easy,
These hands were not meant
to be idle.
Fridge looked pretty bare but Grandma
will whip you up something yummy. OK.
Oh, and where are your cleaning
Under the kitchen sink.
What is it you need to clean?
Bruce Pulmer here. Unless you're
trying to sell me something.
Leave a message. Dad, what the hell
is going on?
Call me as soon as you can.
What? always thought my dad
and What? were really close.
Now all of a sudden What? feel
like What? don't even know him.
It's got to be some fleeting thing.
What? mean, he's got to come back.
My mom does everything for him.
Yeah. What? hope so.
Ah. Hi, honey.
What are you doing?
What? don't know. Just keeping my mind
off your grandfather, What? guess.
This floor needed it.
Between you and What?, this whole house
needs a good scrubbing.
You don't need to do that, Grandma.
You should go to sleep.
What? like doing it.
I'm going to be taking care
of a lot of things around here,
for you and your dad.
And your mom.
I'm really glad that you're here.
Have no fear, Grandma is here.
G'night. Night, dear.
Must be nice, sleeping in like that.
It's 7:00am.
Breakfast is on the table.
Dig in before it gets too cold.
What? don't really eat breakfast.
Thank you, though.
Well, that's what Sydney said.
This is the best breakfast
I've ever had, Grandma.
It is the most important
meal of the day.
All three of them are important,
but we'll call it a three-way tie.
The girl needed it.
She is wasting away.
Oh, What? guess you didn't know that
condiments expire.
Most people don't. No, What? don't.
It smells delicious in here.
Good morning, sweetie.
You didn't have do all this.
Somebody's got to take care
of you guys.
Look at my little boy, all grown-up.
Did you iron my shirts last night?
Of course What? did.
What? snuck in while you two
were sleeping.
Oh, and don't worry, Allison,
your snoring will be
our little secret.
Although you might want
to get that checked out.
What? know an excellent doctor
who helped my friend's husband.
Saved their marriage.
Eat, mister.
So, how do you like that coffee?
What? prefer it a little stronger.
It's decaf.
Bet you didn't know that.
No, What? didn't.
What? would love to help you kick
the caffeine habit.
You drink far too much.
It's giving you wrinkles.
It's a double shot, right? Yeah.
So, What? feel like a fool.
Call me old-fashioned.
So, What? feel like a fool.
Call me...
What? thought he still considered me,
well, sexy.
How embarrassing is that?
What? thought he still considered me...
...well, sexy.
How embarrassing is that?
Don't say that, Claire.
You're a beautiful woman.
Bless your heart, Will.
But What? know you're just saying
that to make me feel better.
No, I'm not. You're gorgeous.
Do you have a tissue?
Oh, sure. Of course. Sorry.
Thank you.
What? feel like an old car
that Bruce got sick of.
Everybody always wants
the new model. You know?
Claire, you're going to have
to stop that kind of talk.
You are the most incredible
person I've ever met.
Yes, really.
Have you heard from him?
What? want to do something for you.
Well, maybe there's something
you could do.
Name it, it's done.
What? don't want to get you in trouble.
I'm a big boy.
It's not about Bruce,
it's Allison.
I'm afraid she might be up
to something.
Allison? Like what?
Well, What? caught a glimpse of a
message on her computer
from some man named Charlie.
What? got the impression
that they meet regularly.
Well, maybe it's someone from work.
Well, she said it was just a friend.
But who says somebody
is just a friend
unless they're, well,
something more than a friend?
I'll look into it.
Hopefully it's just nothing.
Oh, What? didn't know you were here.
Rough clay?
Sydney wanted her grandma's
famous chilli.
Thursday night is pizza night.
Pizza? Every week? Yep.
Well, I'm not one to break family
traditions. Even unhealthy ones.
But What? think Sydney's got
her heart set on chilli.
Isn't he adorable?
We stopped by and picked up a few
things today at my house.
Let me tell you, Allison,
as soon as What? walked in
What? just started bawling.
Hey. It's OK.
What? was so miserable.
What? just don't think What? can ever
go back to that house.
Dad finally texted me back.
What did he say?
It was weird.
Really impersonal.
Said he needed space.
What? told him What? was embarrassed for
him. He didn't respond to that one.
Think What? should text my dad again?
Not right now.
They're sleeping.
We'll be real quiet.
Oh, she's sleepwalking.
She used to do this when she got
really stressed out.
We're not supposed to wake her up.
Come on.
Every single thing What? do,
she tears it apart.
What? mean, What? don't take care
of Jim and Sydney properly.
What? work too much.
What? drink too much.
What? don't do the dishes or clean
or do the laundry properly.
It's all so sexist.
Just, it makes me want to scream!
And the leprechauns. Did What? tell
you about the leprechauns?
You did. Have you...l don't know,
talked to her about any of this?
That's a no.
You don't think What? should just,
you know, try to keep the peace
for the next few months
until we move away?
You need to stand up to her
before it's too late.
Yeah. Put this crazy lady
in her place.
Mm-hmm. OK.
What? can do that.
What? will let you know how it goes.
Hi, Claire.
Oh, Allison. Don't you just
love this frame?
Where did our family photo go?
Oh, What? changed it for this one.
Why did you do that?
Well, What? just love this picture
so much.
And I've been so sad lately.
It just makes me feel better
to see it.
But What? can change the other
one back if you like.
Yes, please do that.
Of course. It's your house.
Wait, Claire.
What? would like to talk to you.
Let's sit down.
First of all,
What? understand what you're going
through and What? can't imagine
how disorienting this must
all be for you.
And I'm happy to have you here.
You are? Yes, of course.
But, erm...
What? just think it would be better
for everyone if you could just try
to adapt a little to the way
we do things around here.
Adapt. Yeah, you know,
you don't have to do so much.
You should relax.
Yeah. What? have a certain way of doing
things and it would just be...
Not to me.
Maybe finish your own work first.
What? don't have any.
You're going to have to ask your
mom. She has final say.
You're home early. What's wrong?
Mom? What are you doing.
What's wrong, Grandma?
Can you show me how to call
an Uber, sweetheart?
What? think it's best What? not
drive right now.
Where are you going, Mom?
What's going on.
Ask Allison.
Claire, What? didn't say anything.
It seems my being here has become
a burden.
And that's the last thing What? wanted.
What? was just trying to help.
But Allison is right.
This is her house and it's time
that What? went back to my own home.
What? didn't say anything
like that at all.
What? don't want to be alive any more.
Don't say that, Mom.
Please don't say that.
Everything's going to be OK,
Grandma. Please don't leave.
What the hell did you say to her?
What? told her that she should relax
and, you know,
just try to go
with the flow around here.
What does that even mean?
It means that we have a routine and
she's welcome to be a part of it.
But I'd like to stick to it.
She's just trying to help out.
The man she's been with most of her life is out there
with some other woman. Think about how that feels.
What? have thought about how that feels,
and What? told her that.
What else you tell her?
That's it. That's it.
Yes, that's it, Jim.
Do you think I'm lying?
That was adorable.
Sydney, you always know
how to cheer me up.
Tell me,
how are you feeling about this big
move to New York?
Erm, What? don't know.
It's kind of exciting
but it's kind of scary.
Of course it is.
You have so many nice friends here.
Mom says I'll make new friends.
Plus we'll still come back
and visit. Mm.
It's just you'll be going into
high school.
What? hate to say this
but teenage girls,
they just love to find somebody
new to pick on.
But I'm sure your mom's right.
You are so sweet.
Who would want to do that?
Well, part of the problem is that
What? have kept my mouth shut
for too long about too many things.
So what things are you talking
Just a bunch of little things.
Like what?
Like comments about me
not being good enough.
Oh, she doesn't mean it.
That is how she is with everyone.
That is not how she is
with everyone.
And she always just feels like it's
OK to stop by unannounced. Always!
You didn't even ask me before
you gave her a key to the house.
And that was how long ago?
You never said you had a problem
with it.
No. You're right. What? didn't.
And What? should have.
You never complained about
the free baby-sitting
or how she looks after the house when
we're out of town, also for free.
What? bet you'll miss that when we're
in New York.
All right, let's just stop because
you're not hearing me, Jim.
Let's stop. Great idea. You know
what? I'm going to take a shower.
How's it going?
How long has she been asleep?
Not long.
We should wake her. She'll probably
be more comfortable in bed.
Just leave her alone.
I've got good news. Yeah?
Charlie turns out
to be Charlene Cansfield.
She's a woman.
She's Allison's friend
and they have lunch together. Oh.
What's the matter? What? thought
you'd be happy with that news.
Oh, of course What? am.
Well. As happy as What? can be
these days.
You know, Claire.
You look...
...really nice today.
I'm sorry.
What? just...whoa.
You don't ever have to apologise
for paying me a compliment. Cutie.
Well, the good news is that...
...not likely that Allison is
sneaking around on Jim.
But this jolly lady,
on the other hand,
that's a totally different story.
Oh? Do tell.
Yeah, well, What? saw her playing kissy
face with the pool guy
in spite of the wedding band
on her finger.
Is that right? Mm. Mm.
What? don't even own a pool.
What? guess I'm doing something wrong.
You're adorable.
This is my lucky day.
What's that?
Will you excuse me a moment?
Of course.
Mariah? ls that you? Claire.
Come here, you!
So good to see you.
It's been so long.
Look at you.
More beautiful than ever.
What? always said you and Jim made
the most gorgeous couple
I've ever seen.
Too sweet. How is Jim?
He's great. What? know he'd
love to see you.
You have to come for dinner.
No. Yes.
What? won't take no for an answer.
OK. Then What? won't say no.
Perfect. See you.
Gross, guys.
What was that for?
What? missed you.
Really? What? thought about some
of the things you said last night
and What? think you're right.
What? wasn't really listening
to you and I'm sorry.
Thank you.
Dinner's going to be ready soon.
What? already ate.
Hmm. I'm going to go take a bath.
Allison. Yeah.
Next time maybe you could tell me
if you eat elsewhere.
What? just hate to waste food.
She's a big girl, Mom.
Big girls have good manners.
What? hope that's supposed to be a joke,
by the way.
Don't say stuff like that, Mom.
Sure, Claire.
I'll let you know next time.
And there's nothing wrong
with leftovers.
Bruce loved leftovers.
You mean loves them, right?
He's not dead, Mom.
What's wrong?
Nothing. You sure?
Why are we whispering?
Because What? don't want any
interruptions this time.
What was that? Nothing.
OK, What? heard it that time.
Sydney should be in bed by now.
I'll check.
Oh, my God. Mom. Jim.
Come on, Mom.
Hello. Hello.
Can What? help you?
I'm sorry to bother you.
It's just What? used to live in this
house a long time ago,
back when my dear Richard
was still living.
What? just had the most perfect
life here. How nice.
We love it here too.
I'm Charlie.
It's nice to meet you, Charlie.
My name's Marilyn.
Would you like to take
a look inside?
Well, maybe just a little peek.
Come on in.
Oh, What? love what you've done
with the space.
Well, this is how it was
when we moved in.
We're getting ready to redo
Make it your own. That's good.
How nice. ls he your son?
Erm, no, he's our pool guy.
Is he even 18? Hm?
Don't tell me you're breaking
child labour laws, Charlie.
Bradley's 25.
Everything's on the up and up.
25. Still a baby.
Oh, What? love these countertops.
Hmm. Children?
Yes. Ten and seven.
Cherish them.
Before you know it they'll be all grown-up
and you won't know what to do with yourself.
Take it from me. Yes.
That must be tough.
What? have the best son in the world.
He treats me like a queen.
The only problem is his wife.
Oh, what's the problem?
Well, sometimes What? worry
she's just a no good dirty bitch.
She's ungrateful. Disrespectful.
Some people seem to think
she's pretty, but What? don't see it.
She drinks too much.
She's a lacklustre mother.
She's probably a frigid wife.
Oh, yes. You know her.
What are you talking about?
What? told a little lie.
It was very exciting.
My name's not really Marilyn.
It's Claire.
My daughter in law's name
is Allison.
Not surprisingly, her own parents
are a couple of deadbeats
who couldn't even pay
for the wedding.
Allison almost talked Jim
into eloping.
Luckily What? got wind of that
and What? took care of everything.
It was beautiful.
But do you think she thanked me?
Oh, yes. She thanked me.
But she didn't mean it.
She resented it. She resented me.
What? knew you must be crazy.
But What? had no idea.
Poor Allison.
This explains a lot.
It's time for you to go, Claire.
How did it start between you two?
Excuse me?!
You and Bradley.
Bit tawdry, isn't it,
sleeping with the help?
What? don't know what you're
talking about.
Oh! Listen, What? get it.
What? mean, What? slept with the same
man for 38 years.
Don't get me wrong, I'm no prude.
But after a while, it's like,
enough is enough
and you just want to shove your
husband into the nearest freezer!
You need to go! Now!
Does David know?
How about Stella and Jack?
Do they know about mommy's
special friend, Bradley?
My Bruce was a detective.
His ex-partner is still on the job.
He has a little crush on me.
And my, oh, my, did
he dig up some dirt on you, girl!
Don't worry.
The last thing
What? want to do is break up a family.
There's no need for that to happen.
What? just need a little favour,
that's all.
So, anything new
with your mother-in-law?
Well, she showed up in our bedroom
last night, right when Jim
and What? were about to have sex again.
Supposedly, she was sleepwalking.
What? don't know, What? feel like she might
be doing it on purpose.
That seems...pretty far fetched.
Well, What? don't know.
It seems to me like everything
she does is calculated.
She is the master of manipulation.
She will provoke me on purpose
and then play the victim if What? bite.
Are you OK? Expecting a phone call?
You keep looking at your phone.
No, no, I'm sorry.
I'm just thinking
of how to put this.
There's only one way to say it.
You're starting to
sound like a real bitch, Allison.
I'm sorry.
But think about it, this woman's
husband just ran out on her.
And you're mad about what?
Her doing the cooking, cleaning
the house and sleepwalking?!
No. No! What? mean...
Haven't you heard anything
I've said?
I've heard everything you've said.
But when's the last time
you listened to me?
When's the last time you
asked about David and the kids?
We talk about your family
all the time.
Not nearly as much as
we talk about you.
It's all about you lately, Allison.
Really? Yes.
All right. Well, um,
if that's the case,
What? am so sorry. So sorry.
Do you know how disinterested
David's mom is in our lives?
What? would love it if she cared half
as much as your mother-in-law does.
What is going on with you?
You have never said anything to me
like this ever before.
And now, all of a sudden, what,
has this all just been a set
up for this moment?!
Not everyone is out to get you,
Stop being paranoid.
Paranoid? Really?
You were supposed to be my friend!
What? am your friend.
I'm actually your only friend
because you drive everyone
else away!
Sorry about that. That's OK.
How was your clay?
Not great.
Oh. I'm sorry to hear that.
Don't forget, Sydney, we're going
out later tonight. Do What? have to?
You most certainly do, young lady.
And don't speak that way to her.
What? think it's wonderful that
the two of you still have
mother-daughter dates.
Don't call it a date. It's weird.
There is nothing
weird about spending quality time
with your mother.
You understand?
What? understand.
So, are you excited about the
concert with your dad next week?
Uh, yeah. Yeah, of course.
Don't forget to
bring your bathing suit.
Dad says there's
a pool at the hotel.
That's cool.
But, um, you know...
You guys don't have to keep trying
so hard to spend one on one
time with me.
What? mean, what's the deal?
Did you read that in a parenting
manual or something?
Mom, what are you doing?
What? told you you don't need to
make dinner tonight.
Don't mind me.
Mariah. Jim.
It's so good to see you.
You look fantastic! There she is!
Hi, Claire. Look at you!
You look like a supermodel!
Thank you so much for inviting me.
Thank you so much for coming on such
short notice.
It's been way too long.
You did know What? was coming, right?
Yeah, of course.
I just lost track of time.
I'm just, um...
I'm going to change real quick.
Oh, you brought a lovely bottle
of wine. You are so thoughtful!
Let's crack this baby open,
shall we?
What? know What? certainly could
use a glass!
Or three!
So, how's school?
What's wrong?
Come on, Sydney.
You can tell me.
You don't want to hear it.
What do you mean?
What? mean, I'm worried about moving.
I'm worried about losing
all of my friends
and I'm worried about starting high
school without knowing anybody.
But we have to.
Because of your job.
Well, you know,
that makes a lot of sense.
I'd be worried about those things,
too, if What? were in your shoes.
But you know your dad
and What? are going to be there for you.
What? know that's not saying much,
but we wouldn't be doing this
if we didn't think that in the long
run this was going to be
a really good experience for you.
What about Grandma?
What about her?
We're just going to leave her here?
That doesn't seem right.
What? still think your grandfather's
going to come back.
And if he doesn't?
If he doesn't, then we'll make sure
she's taken care of.
Ta ken ca re of?
What does that even mean?
To be honest,
What? don't really know right now,
It was an incredible meal, Claire.
Thank you so much.
It was my pleasure.
It's so good to see you.
To see the two of you
together again.
It's just like old times.
You were the most perfect couple.
What? always thought you might
end up together.
A little more?
What? shouldn't.
What? just remembered,
What? owe my friend Susie a phone call.
I'm going to go do that right now.
Don't you dare go any place, OK?
You two have to catch up. OK.
You really didn't know that
What? was coming over tonight, did you?
You know what this feels like?
What? That scene where the
kids are trying to trick their
parents into getting back together.
Right. She doesn't let just anybody
eat off this china.
Sshh! Stop!
What? can't... She's going to hear us.
Easy now.
Remember to breathe.
What? haven't laughed like that since...
Hey...'s really good to see you.
It's good to see you.
if you want to talk about anything,
I'm here.
Thanks, Jim.
Hi, Allison.
Yeah, no, this isn't...
This isn't awkward.
What's going on?
Nothing. We just had dinner.
Yeah. What? can see that.
Really, Allison.
It's not what it looks like.
Oh, yeah?
What's it look like to you?
...a romantic dinner.
But Jim didn't orchestrate this.
Oh. No, What? can tell that Jim didn't
make this meal, thank you very much.
This is Claire's handiwork.
Yeah, she called me and invited me
over, but Jim didn't know.
Can Jim not speak for himself? Come
on. Mariah's just trying to explain.
That your mom tricked you
both into a romantic dinner and you
were helpless to do anything, except
for eat the meal and hold hands.
Is that about right?
You don't understand. You know what?
What? should... Am What? right?
What? should leave. Yes, you should.
Allison, you're being rude.
Your daughter just saw you being
intimate with another woman,
you realise that?
What? realise Sydney saw me
holding a friend's hand
and I'm going to explain to her
exactly why.
What? can't wait to hear that.
I'm sorry, Allison.
Mariah, you don't have to go.
Yeah. Yeah, What? do, Jim.
Let me at least show you
to your car.
What a gentleman(!)
Shut up, Allison.
Where is everybody?
Sorry What? ruined your little scheme,
before Jim and Mariah could
fall in bed together.
My little scheme?
That's right.
You don't scheme against anybody.
You never have ulterior motives,
do you?
I'm confused.
What is it you're implying, Allison?
I'm not implying anything.
I'm accusing you of setting up
this dinner to cause
a rift between Jim and What?.
My Lord! What? would never, ever,
ever do such a thing!
You did do such a thing, Claire.
And congratulations, it worked.
How was Mariah? What? didn't get
a chance to say goodbye.
She's OK.
It just breaks my heart. What? mean,
look at her. She seems so healthy.
What do you mean?
What? know she doesn't look it,
but Mariah's been pretty
sick for a while.
What? don't know how much time
she has left.
It's just so sad.
Isn't it?
Why didn't you tell me?
What? don't know. What? should have.
I've had a hard time
processing it myself.
She ran into my mom a few clays ago
and texted me
and I've just been trying to
listen to how she feels.
She's scared.
What? mean, of course she is.
What? know what it must look like.
Like my mom was trying to rekindle
some old flame, but What? think
she was just trying to make Mariah
feel good for an evening.
I'm going to talk to Sydney.
What? need to explain what was going on.
Yeah, no, go ahead.
Oh, hi, Will.
What? just wanted to hear your voice.
Things have been a little
tense around here.
To be frank,
it's Allison.
If What? didn't know better,
What? would be worried.
Oh, What? just never realised what
a bad temper she has.
It's a little scary.
Oh, I'm sure it's nothing,
just me being a worry wart.
How about you, sweetie?
How was your day?
Have fun at the concert!
Send me lots of pictures. OK.
What? love you. Bye, Grandma.
See you tomorrow. Miss you, baby.
Call you later.
Take care of your daddy.
You drive safe, you hear me?
No fighting, you two.
Us? Fight?
Have fun!
I'm going to make us
a nice dinner tonight, Claire.
We need to talk. What? thought
What? would cook tonight.
No, I'm going to cook. But first,
I'm going to go for a run.
Since when do you run?
Since right now.
Great(!) Now what?!
Oh. We're eating in the dining room.
And using the china.
If it's good enough for Jim
and Mariah,
it's good enough for you and me,
Have a seat.
Stir fry.
Looks very nice.
Though What? never cared for it.
No, thank you.
It's not a week night,
live a little.
What shall we toast to?
To new beginnings.
If you say so.
It's not that two buck chuck stuff,
is it?
Let's eat.
What? called Mariah. What? needed to
apologise for the way What? treated her.
Good for you.
What? know it's not easy for you
to admit to your mistakes.
That was a good move on your part.
The way you made me
look bad like that.
But it wasn't very fair to Mariah,
was it?
Oh, Allison.
What? never tried to make you look bad.
Um, yeah, you have.
Many, many times.
Why do What? feel like I'm being
ambushed here?
No ambush.
What? just think it's time for the two
of us to be honest with each other.
I'm always honest with you.
Are you sure there's nothing you
want to get off your chest?
No problem you have me?
Now's your chance.
Anything you want to say at all?
Is this dinner or family therapy?
What? made the mistake at the beginning
for not putting my foot down,
for not setting boundaries,
starting with letting you take
over the wedding.
That was my fault,
and What? shouldn't have done that.
Most brides would have
killed for that wedding!
That's true.
But your son was marrying me
and it's not what What? wanted.
Is there a point to this, dear?
You're a wonderful mother.
You've raised a fantastic son.
He is respectful and caring.
And you're a fantastic grandmother.
Sydney adores you.
But either you treat me
with respect,
or get out of my house.
Mm-hm. Good.
Tell me, Allison,
did you use a meat
tenderiser on this steak?
You know?
Whack! Whack!
Um, actually, What? did.
Mm. What? knew it.
So, your mom and What? finally
had a long talk tonight.
Yeah, What? think
we really hashed some things out.
Well, What? think it went pretty well.
I'm glad Sydney enjoyed the concert.
What? miss you guys.
What? love you.
See you tomorrow.
Good night.
Hello, it's Will. Leave a message.
I'm so afraid!
It's Allison!
What? need your help!
You're sleepwalking again.
Argh! Ah! Ah! Ah!
What are you doing?
What am What? doing?
What anybody would do
if their daughter-in-law went
crazy in the middle of the night
and tried to kill them.
I'm defending myself.
Oh, my God!
You ungrateful...
You never, ever deserved my son!
Oh! Oh, my God! Oh, Will!
Oh, thank God you got my message!
She went crazy!
She said she was going
to get rid of me
the same way she got rid of Charlie.
What are you talking about?
You tried to stab me!
SHE tried to stab me!
She tried to kill me!
You are insane!
You don't know what you're
talking about! You stop right there!
Don't let me pull out my gun,
What? don't want to, but What? will.
Will, you don't understand. That's
not what happened. Yeah, yeah, fine.
You stay right there
and you show me your hands.
You just saved my life!
Is that...? ls that what
she used to kill Charlie?
What? believe it's the murder weapon.
Wiped clean of fingerprints.
We found it in your closet, Allison.
Oh, come on, Will!
Think about it! If What? did do it,
why would What? hold on to that thing?
You don't really believe that
What? killed my best friend?
What? loved Charlie.
Loved her.
Oh, my God!
What? can't believe this is happening!
Will, you know me. You know me!
Why would What? do something like that?
The pool guy said that you
and Charlie had a really big
argument the other day.
Yeah? So what?
So, what was it about?
It was about Claire.
Yeah, somehow Claire put all
this together. Yeah!
She definitely had something
to do with this.
Oh! It's always Claire's fault,
isn't it?
The woman who raised your husband,
your daughter's grandmother!
The poor woman who's dealing with
the fact that her husband
ran off with another woman after
nearly four decades of marriage!
When can What? see Jim?
Who you really need to see
is a lawyer.
Please, Will, What? just
want to see Jim.
Please! Will!
You're wrong!
Oh, my God!
What? think all the stress must have
just got to her.
Her job, the move.
Lord knows,
I'm not the easiest house guest,
I'm sure What? just made things worse.
Allison's not a killer, Mom.
What? know she's not.
24 hours ago, What? would have said
the exact same thing, but, Jim,
she tried to kill me.
Do you understand that?
You do believe me, don't you?
I'm your mother!
You can see her now.
Where's Sydney?
What? took her round to Kelly's.
She doesn't know what's
going on yet.
OK, good. Good. That's good.
Allison, what is going on?
You know What? didn't do it,
right? Any of it!
Listen to me very carefully.
It is time for you
to make a decision.
You either choose me
or you choose your mother.
What? choose you.
Of course What? do, Allison.
OK. Good answer.
Now, What? need you to go to your
parents' house right now
and before she has a chance to get
rid of anything.
What would she be getting rid of?
Listen to me very carefully.
Look around. Check the entire house.
What am What? looking for?
Jim, What? hope that I'm wrong,
but What? don't think that your dad
ran off with another woman.
What? mean, do you really think that
your dad would do that to your mom?
What? don't think so.
And even if he did...
...I mean, do you really think
that that he would ignore you
this whole time?
No. He loves you more than anything.
You're the most important thing
in the world to him.
He would at least want a chance
to explain himself to you.
All right, I'll go there now.
OK. OK, good.
What? love you.
Great. She forgot to pay
the power bill.
Flashlight, flashlight...
What? hope you're wrong
about this, Allison.
Oh, Will.
Is everything OK?
Oh, What? see.
It's a shame about the china.
It was such a lovely set.
Guess we start cleaning up
before Sydney comes home.
Are we OK?
Yeah. We're good.