Murdercise (2023) Movie Script

911, what's your emergency?
could you send somebody
over quickly, please?
I think there's an intruder in my house.
Okay, ma'am,
I can send someone out to your area.
- What's your address?
- Hello, police.
Um, just a second.
We're responding to some
suspicious activity in the...
Yeah, I called. I called.
Are you here by yourself?
Yes. Come in, come in.
Great, great.
John, boy, what do you
say we protect and serve?
Hi. Thank you for
sending them so quickly.
They, they just got here.
Do not let them into your home.
We haven't sent anyone
out to your area yet.
What do you mean? They're already here.
Ma'am, are you there?
What's happening? Hello?
Five, six, seven, eight, and stretch.
And bounce.
And turn.
And stretch.
Bend it over, girls.
Five, six, seven, eight.
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.
Now stretch
those legs, ladies.
Stretch again.
Oh, yeah.
And again.
One more time, girls.
Oh, as big as you can.
Now bend on over and
stretch those hamstrings.
Oh yeah.
So good.
Oh my,
Excuse me.
What is wrong with you?
Cut? You don't get to say cut.
I say cut.
Phoebe, what the hell
is the matter with you?
Everything was going beautiful.
I'm uncomfortable with the choreography.
Candy is showing her
nether regions to the camera.
So? It's vulgar.
We're not making it porn, are we?
Uh, eh...
Well, it makes me uncomfortable.
This is what the audience wants, kid.
I mean they don't care about the exercises.
I mean, they just wanna wank the weasel,
pardon my French.
Well, I care about fitness.
I care about the health of our children
and the obesity rate in our country.
We have a responsibility,
just like the president says.
tell you what, kid, I promise you,
I will tell the cameraman to
go easy on the zoom lens, okay?
All right.
Now get on out there.
Hey, we're burning videotape here,
and that stuff ain't cheap.
Get some more tight
shots of the goodies, okay?
Yes, sir.
Get it?
Got it? Good.
Yo, Chiefy,
want me to get up
there and fix these lights?
No, the lights are fine, Chuck.
No, what I'm saying is
I can make 'em better.
We're good, man.
Trust me.
Listen, I'm already putting on my gloves.
Okay. Okay, okay.
Coach, you make the plays,
I back the plays you make,
I'll get my ladder just in case.
At first, Los Angeles police
thought the murder of a
female prostitute last month
was an isolated act of violence.
But since then, they've come to believe.
- God, I'm starving. - It was connected
to a series of assaults by a killer
who has become known
as The Skid Row Strangler.
You want me to get you a
soda from the vending machine?
Um, maybe later.
They have diet Mr. Pib?
You sure?
- Huh? - Chuck.
Holy shit.
Will you get me a soda
from the vending machine?
You know my name?
Lucky for you,
I got a pocket full of change just for you.
I love you. I got you.
Get outta the way, fuck.
Nikki, what are you doing?
You can't eat fast food.
That cheeseburger is gonna
make you slow and heavy.
Don't worry about it.
I'll burn it off, okay?
I'm a stripper.
Do they allow you to eat
burgers when you work the pole?
Freddy, that is so degrading.
Hey, pole dancing does wonders.
I teach classes at Gold's on
Ventura, helps me stay in shape
for my wrestling matches.
You're a wrestler?
Yeah. Oil, mud, jello, whatever.
Gino was one of the judges.
What is this world coming to?
Wanna see a move?
No, I don't.
I, I said no.
Oh, my God.
Where did Gino get this square?
For your information, Candy,
I got this job because Gino
noticed my leadership skills
while I was at work.
Don't you work at that
corn dog place at the mall?
Oh, I get it now.
Gino saw have you pumping up
and down making the lemonade
like, "Ah, ah, ah, oh,
yeah, give it to me."
Maybe that's how you got this job.
I am an actress, okay?
I am just doing this
because it's another
stepping stone in my career.
That's why I'm on the cover.
Thank you, dear.
Mm-hmm, do you want a straw?
- If you don't mind. - I don't mind at all.
You know, this may just
be another job to you guys,
but this means the world to me.
I wanna change lives.
We're supposed to be role models.
You've gotta be kidding.
All right, ladies, come on.
Let's do it again.
Come on, come on, come on.
Break time's over. Hustle, hustle.
Make it look like you wanna be here.
All right, let's get sweaty.
All right, roll camera
and action.
Five, six, seven, eight, and stretch.
And bounce.
Oh, Donna Stromboli.
How ya doin', you little bastard.
I want you to meet Dominica Stromboli.
Her and her husband
are putting up the money
for this little video masterpiece.
come here a minute.
This is Candy.
She's our cover girl.
Isn't she gorgeous?
And she's a real actress too.
What was the name of
that picture of yours again?
It's "The Co-ed Butcher."
- Oh. - Nice.
That's it.
Oh, great picture.
Great picture.
It's so nice to meet you, Mrs. Stromboli.
I really hope to meet
Mr. Stromboli someday.
Oh, you look like you're trouble to me.
I'm keeping you away from my husband.
Who's that hot, young stud over there?
Uh, that's Mikey,
uh, just outta film school.
Maybe we should get
him in some little shorts
doing some jumping jacks.
Oh, I can have him do
that for if you want, Dom.
He works for me.
No, no, no. It's not
necessary, let him work.
Can we have a moment, Gino?
Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, sure.
Of course.
In my office.
You guys,
take five
I's got to talk to the financier.
We can eat.
Yo, Chief, I'm gonna pop up here
and fix these lights, okay?
They're fine.
Okay, Chiefy, Jesus.
It's your show, man.
I'll do the dance.
You just gotta show me the moves.
Goddamn it, Jesus Christ.
Here you go.
we are going to make
a fortune with this video.
I mean what with all them
girls spreading their legs
and showing off their
coochies and whatnot,
video's gonna fly off the shelf.
That's great, Gino, my
husband will be very pleased.
But you and I, we have an issue.
An issue?
It's my youngest, Isabella,
she needs something to focus on.
I wanna keep her away from
her low life street friends.
And I want you to put
her in the exercise video.
- Oh. - Is that gonna be an issue?
Oh, yeah.
No, no. Yeah, yeah.
No, of course. Yeah.
Oh, we'd be glad to have her.
I, I mean,
I can't wait to meet the young, broad,
Streets are a dangerous place
for a young lady nowadays.
All them perverts out there?
she'll be safe in here with me.
Can I help you?
Yeah. Hold this.
Thanks, babe.
Oh, my baby girl.
Did you drive the Caddy here today?
No. Daddy said I could take his car.
You two could be sisters.
it's uncanny.
Isabella, this is Gino.
Gino is producing this workout video.
Don't you have something to say to him?
Thank you, Gino, for
this amazing opportunity.
And thank you, Mommy, for believing in me.
Oh, isn't she a doll?
- Huh, she's, uh, gorgeous. - Eat you up.
Uh, Isabella, I,
why don't you go meet
the rest of the crew, huh?
And then get changed.
We'll get started again in a few minutes.
Okay. Bye, Mama.
Bye, Sweetie.
- Love you. - Love you too.
Oh, thanks, babe.
Yeah, no problem.
Now, don't let her give you any grief
and make sure she keeps her nose clean.
Oh yeah. Yeah.
You got it, Dom.
I take care of her like
she were my own little girl.
Is there any place good to
eat around here? I'm famished.
Try Papachinos.
Best Italian in the whole damn city.
I'll come with you. - No.
You have work to do.
And whatever you do, Gino,
do not let me down
because if you do,
you're gonna have to deal with Frankie.
I'm not joking.
I'll be back.
Let's go.
Gino. How am I
supposed to work like this?
There's another girl.
the lady putting up the dough
wants her kid in the video.
That's it.
Just, just show her some
moves. She'll catch on.
But she's being a jerk.
Look, I gotta get this thing shot, edited
and in the can and out
to market in three days,
or it's my ass.
Now you begged me for this job,
so just use those
leadership skills of yours.
But this isn't the same as
working at Hot Dog on a Stick.
All those girls out there are perverts,
strippers and communists.
Look, kid,
this is not all about you,
remember that.
Now, I gotta take a minute
to go to the pawn shop.
There's this Arab guy
still holding my watch.
You're in charge.
but they won't listen to me.
Hey, take notes, kid.
This is how it's done.
Listen up, you mooks.
Mrs. Stromboli is riding my ass,
so that means I'm riding your guys' asses,
Hey, you listen to Phoebe, huh?
She's in charge.
Now get this video done.
No more screwing around, capishe?
Y'all wanna party?
Whoo hoo.
Can't have a party without tunes.
Oh, yeah.
Director, get everyone under control,
Relax, Phoebe.
Take five, or 10, or 30.
So Isabella, is it true
your dad's a mafia guy?
He's in the sanitation business.
So does that mean
he's like a garbage man?
He owns a few landfills.
I can give you a tour sometime.
Hey, you guys
let's watch my scene from my movie.
You get naked?
Freddy, that's rude.
Hell yeah,
in the first five minutes.
Hello, this is Veronica.
Hi, Bobby.
What am I wearing?
I'm wearing a silky white teddy
and smooth white stockings.
Just a second, baby.
Sorry, baby,
I had to use the restroom.
Oh yeah. It was disgusting.
I totally blew it up.
Are you ready?
Are you ready to hear my shit?
oh no.
Oh my God.
So annoying.
You guys,
this is not appropriate
viewing material for work.
We have a job to do.
Get the hell outta the way, Phoebe.
This is my movie. This is my chance.
You need to move.
You're no fun and you're a loser.
Bye bye. I hate you.
No, no.
No smoking, please.
Are you talking to me?
- Oh. - What the fuck?
I can't have you girls smoking pot.
I need you to be in top physical shape.
You've got some balls, you know that?
Do you know who my father is?
I'll have you whacked like that.
Okay. Okay, okay.
Nobody's whacking anybody.
Phoebe, why don't you
go outside and cool off?
Yeah, you're being a major buzzkill.
We're trying to watch a movie.
Make yourself useful.
Go on a beer run. We're running low.
Ugh, whatever.
Sit, 'Bella.
What the fuck are you doing in my house?
Who are you?
Oh you've done this before, haven't you?
You're going to want to use two hands.
Okay, daddy.
What's eating you?
What's eating me?
I'm trying to get this video done.
And you show up and get everyone off track
with your delinquent ways.
Yeah. My mom says that
I have that effect on people.
No, no, no.
You son of a fucking bastard.
Hey, hey.
Hey, you're not allowed in here.
What are you doing?
Look, I'm sorry.
I'm just trying to fit in.
It's not like I can blame you.
They've been so horrible from the start.
No one respects me.
I mean you're the boss, right?
They don't wanna listen to you,
persuade them.
Persuade them?
Persuade them
real nice.
Smack 'em around a bit,
that's what my dad does.
Where is Joey at?
He brings me all the way out here
and then he runs off doing God knows what.
It's so cold out here.
What do we got, Doc?
The victim's memory
glands have been excised.
You mean?
The guy cut her tits off
and took them with him?
My God.
Who would do something like that?
A real sick fuck.
Oh my God. Is this where you want me?
Hell yeah. It's where I want you, Chuck.
What's gonna happen now, dude?
Horror movies make me
Oh my God. Does that
mean you're horny right now?
Oh yeah. It does.
Can't you tell?
I have no idea what horny looks like.
Are you serious? You look like a stud.
Oh my God. That's
what my mom tells me too.
Candy wants to party with Chuck.
And I wanna show you my party hats.
Uh, you wanna party with Candy?
Wait, we can't do this.
No one's gonna catch us, dummy.
Yeah, that's what they all say.
And the next thing you know, bam.
They're back to PA-ing.
I'm a filmmaker now, Candy.
I can't just go around
sleeping with actresses.
Are you rejecting me?
Have you seen my tits?
We were just watching
them on the screen in there.
in a movie,
the thing that I am gonna make
because I'm a filmmaker.
No, you're not.
Why don't you just touch my
like everybody else does, Chuck?
Yeah, well, maybe
those people aren't about
to join the union Candy, but I am, okay?
What kinda union?
I think that's fake. And I
think you're making it up.
Look at my tits.
Oh my God.
- Look at 'em, oh. - Put your boobs away.
I would never put my boobs away.
You're gonna put your boobs away.
Oh yes. They're so warm.
Can't you just feel the
heat coming off of them?
Yes, I can.
But that's not the point.
If somebody comes in
here right now and sees this,
I am never gonna get in the union.
- Look at them. - No.
Everybody wants to look at 'em, Chuck.
They're not gonna let me in the union.
Oh yeah they will.
No, they won't.
- They're soft. - No.
- And velvety. - Bet they are.
And milky pale.
Holy shit.
- And plump. - Wow.
You know what else is plump?
Those fucking union paychecks.
Oh, so what is this?
Are you seriously not
gonna look at my tits?
I'm so sorry. I'm sure
your tits are really luscious.
They're really, really good.
I am not gonna ever look at your tits
until they're on a big screen
in a movie that I directed.
Don't you wanna see
these big, juicy melons?
Are you on drugs?
Just put your hands
on my tits like a normal
The only thing that's gonna
bang is the sound of a slate
when I'm making my movie.
Now get outta my office.
Are you stupid, you fucking asshole?
Look at my tits,
look at 'em.
This is bullshit.
Look at my tits, ah.
She's my sister.
you are being very unprofessional
having sex and showing your dirty movies.
You need to get back to work, or else.
Or else what?
What are you gonna do, you little twerp?
Are you gonna hit me?
You're just jealous of me 'cause I'm hot.
Do I make you uncomfortable?
Am I putting you in a
weird position right now?
Candy, please pull your shirt back down.
You are a weirdo,
just look at them. - You're being
very unprofessional.
Look at my tits, you fucking dummy.
I will not look at your breasts.
Oh no, you're gonna look at 'em.
No, I won't.
Oh, absolutely you are,
'cause you're a little weirdo
and I've been noticing
you looking at me anyways.
Candy, this is so unprofessional.
You haven't even seen unprofessional yet.
I'm gonna get really close to you until-
- Candy, stop.
I'm gonna put all of my sweat
on you, you fucking weirdo.
I paid for these tits
and somebody's gonna look at 'em
and it's gonna be you, you fucking bitch.
Look at my tits.
You're just jealous of
me because I have tits!
You don't wanna touch on this.
Stop, stop, I don't wanna see. Stop.
Look at 'em.
Holy fuck.
I, I swear to God it wasn't me.
Well, yeah. No shit.
This is like certified
maniac shit right here.
Ugh God.
What the hell are
you doing just standing?
Holy jumping Jesus.
What the fuck happened?
I don't-
- Candy.
Candy went to go get a drink
and we fucking found her like this.
Oh, sweet baby Jesus.
Oh, Candy.
Oh, she didn't deserve that.
Yes, she, she was a nice piece of ass.
Uh, do you think we
should go to the cops?
Like hell.
Oh, okay.
No, we ain't going to the cops.
Uh. Oh, help me, Jesus.
What the hell are we gonna do?
Look. Look, look, look, look.
Just get rid of the body.
That's what my daddy does.
Ugh, God, your father.
I can ask my mom for some help,
but you're gonna owe
her big fucking time for this.
Oh Christ.
Okay. Just make the call.
Phoebe. Go clean yourself up.
And nobody, nobody
comes out here, you got it?
Get it? - Yeah.
Come on.
So we're all here, eh?
I, I regret to inform you that Candy
has decided to walk off the project.
So she just left?
How should I know?
I didn't ask her no questions.
I don't know. Quit crawling up my ass.
Oh, dude.
It has to be because I rejected her.
This always happens to
me. Why am I so driven?
So now what? Can we do it without Candy?
I, everybody, just, just sit tight
until I can talk to Mrs. Stromboli.
We'll get this all sorted out, okay?
Hey, are you okay?
I know it's not easy seeing a dead body.
You've seen a dead body before?
In the streets, you see ODs, dead hookers,
bodies with their heads cut off.
Have you heard of the Skid Row strangler?
No. Who's that?
He's some sick fuck.
He likes to pretend he's a cop.
Strangles women, leaves 'em
for dead in the alley, naked.
Some sick fucking shit.
At least when my family
wants to whack somebody,
it's just business.
Just business?
Yeah, murder isn't supposed to be fun,
sometimes it's necessary.
Even the president knows that.
It's just business, baby.
Yeah. Okay.
I mean, somebody gets in your way,
you gotta take care of it.
Just business, baby.
like Reagan says.
It's done, Mrs. Stromboli.
Thank you, Frankie.
Thank you.
Jesus I,
Mr. Stromboli doesn't have
to know about this, does he?
He already does.
And he's not happy about it, believe me.
Well, what are we gonna do, now?
Should, should we shut down the picture?
Why? The situation has been handled.
I paid a lot of money for this video.
but there's a killer running around.
Frankie did a sweep of the building.
There is no one here.
Unless, of course, one of
your crew members is a killer.
Well, no. No.
They, they were all in the studio
and except for Phoebe and Isabella.
Lock all the doors.
Don't let anyone leave.
You have until midnight
to finish this thing.
Don't make Frankie make
two trips to the landfill.
Speaking of which, give him your keys.
You do have room in your trunk, don't you?
Oh yeah.
Be careful with the interior.
I got payments.
I'm gonna go freshen up.
Tell your director to
find me in the office.
Come in here.
And the clutch sticks.
Gino, is the video canceled?
No, we gotta keep going.
Oh, Jesus. Tits.
Now I gotta find a new cover girl.
Oh, Gino, please, please,
please can I be the cover girl?
It was the role I was born to play.
Please, please, please, please.
Yeah, sure. Knock yourself out, kid.
Oh Gino, thank you.
Thank you so much. You won't regret this.
I promise you. I will not let you down.
Thank you. Thank you.
Ugh, God. I need a goddamn drink.
Thank you.
Thank you so much. I
promise I'll never kill again.
I'll be good. I mean it.
Thank you, thank you. Thank you, thank you.
Isabella, your thuggish ways have paid off.
You are looking at the new cover girl.
I can't believe this is happening to me.
Well, that's pretty rad.
I guess it's good somebody
killed her then, huh?
Yeah, I guess so.
All right, everybody get back to work.
Take it from the top.
Um, who's going to take Candy's place?
I'm the new cover girl.
Why do you get to be cover girl?
Because I have really great work ethic.
Um we've been working just as hard as you.
Not to sound like a mega bitch,
but me, Monique and
Nikki look the best, okay?
Call me mean, but it's the truth.
Phoebe is a dud.
She's a freak.
Now all of you just shut up.
Please. Just shut up.
I'm sick and tired of all you broads
barking your demands at me.
Now I'm the boss.
Now, you know,
I wanna see you ladies sweat a little.
So here's what we're gonna do.
Freddy's gonna take
single shots of each of ya.
Whoever gives the best performance
gets the cover.
I'll do it.
no, no.
I said no. Out, just get out.
Yeah, hey.
My chihuahua looks better in tights.
And you broads,
you broads, just get back to work.
Jesus Christ.
Give me this, give me that.
Oh yeah.
Gino, give me the cover.
Well, blow me.
Okay ladies, let's put our hair up.
Looks like we have a competition.
You should probably
cut your losses now, Phoebe.
Candy may be gone, but
you don't stand a chance.
Nikki is a stripper,
Monique's ripped, and
my ass is nicer than yours.
Hell, even mafia girl stands a chance.
Just accept your place and stay the back.
Just when I thought
things were going my way,
these goddamn motherfucking
cock sucking bitches
stage a coup.
Now I might not get the video cover
just because they're prettier than me.
It's not fair.
Look, if you are as
talented as you say you are,
you ain't got shit to worry about.
Or fight fire with fire.
I just don't wanna go against my values
any more than I already have.
hey, Mikey,
come here a minute, huh?
Mrs. Stromboli wants to
talk with you in my office
to discuss
career options, huh?
Might be some financing for a film in it.
What about the video?
Ah, Freddy can handle that.
Now listen to me, Mikey,
youse got to do everything
that she asks you to, eh?
but by no means do you touch her.
Her husband is bad news.
But I have to do whatever she says?
That's right.
But don't touch her because I'll be dead?
But if I don't do what
she says, I'm dead too?
You got it.
Now, go on. Get in there.
Get it.
All right.
You uh,
you didn't tell her
that you're not exactly,
uh, playing for her team?
I really wanna make a movie, Freddy.
Welcome to Hollywood, bud.
So basically, I'm a filmmaker.
I mean I'm the one that sets the lights.
I set the mics, I build the sets.
I run the cable.
I mean, I do everything.
I'm making this movie really.
I'm trying to join the union.
Did I already tell you that?
Yeah, I'm gonna join the union.
You should join the union.
Chuck, I don't even
think strippers have a union.
Well, you should.
They're super fucking cool.
Wait, have you ever
thought about being a roadie?
Dude, I have an extra
set of fingerless gloves
you can borrow.
Shut up.
They're rad. You can
still shred the guitar.
Shut up.
Wrap cable.
You can fucking do anything.
So, your mom let you
to stay out late and stuff?
I pretty much do what I want when I want.
Now close your eyes.
Isn't she afraid of you getting murdered
by the Skid Row strangler?
She's not that kind of mom.
One time I was staying with this punk band
for like a week or so,
she didn't even notice I was gone.
You can tell she really loves you though.
She threatened Gino and
made him put you in this video.
That's love.
See, she thinks this thing's
gonna like turn me around
and set me straight.
But I'm a lost cause.
No, aerobics can do that.
Close your eyes.
Hey, I'll make a deal with you.
If you keep the camera on me at all times,
I'll go out with you.
Oh, you can do better than that.
Well, what do you want?
Something special for
my, you know, collection.
Ugh, you pig.
Um, Isabella, I don't
know if I can do this.
Sure you can.
You just need to loosen up a little bit.
You wanna do some blow?
What? No, I cannot.
I don't do drugs. No.
What would President Reagan think?
Reagan will be just fine. Trust me.
I don't know.
Even Nancy?
Nancy's gonna be just fine as well.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Okay, if you say so.
Oh God.
Yeah, let's uh.
Yeah, I'm gonna take that.
Okay. Thank you.
Yeah, we're gonna, um,
you'll be fine.
- Yeah? - It's gonna be great.
Yeah, it's gonna be great.
It's gonna be great. - Reagan doesn't care.
- No. - No, Reagan,
Reagan doesn't care, you're good.
You, Monique.
Hey you. Monique.
Can I speak to you over here?
Yeah, what is it?
All right, come on.
Come in, follow me, come on.
Faster, come on.
Private conversation, shut
the door behind you, please.
I've just been thinking a lot
about symmetry.
Do you think symmetry is important?
'Cause I think symmetry is very important.
I think we need one less girl.
So I think you should leave.
Ugh, that's bullshit.
You can't make that
call. You're not the boss.
Mm, actually,
I remember when Gino put me in charge.
Do you remember that? 'Cause
I remember that pretty well.
Do you remember that?
Well, I'm just thinking about the video.
I have the video first
in my head, you know?
I think it's the most
important thing, the video.
I think the video should come first.
I think it should come first.
Do you think it should come first?
'Cause I think the video should come first
and I think you should leave.
Why me? Why not the mafia
girl or Cassandra or Nikki?
I'm the most physically fit.
Um, well, you know,
I'm not a big fan of those girls either.
But I'm also really not
a big fan of wrestling.
I think, you know,
aerobics is much harder than wrestling and-
- Wrestling requires way
more strength than aerobics.
You're just discriminating
'cause I'm a wrestler.
First of all, no, because,
you know, it's just business.
It's not personal. It's
just business, so no.
Also, second of all, no.
Wrestling is not harder than aerobics.
You wouldn't last a
second with me, Pho-bee.
You wanna try me?
No, no.
Hey, Monique, stop it. Stop it.
Okay, wrestling is cool.
You're going to kill me.
Stop it.
I'm sorry, Monique,
it was for the greater good.
My name is Phoebe.
Whoo, come on, let's get
started. Come on, whoo.
Where's Monique?
I had to let her go.
For aesthetic reasons.
Do you wanna be next? Get in line.
Who died and made you leader?
Candy did, bitch.
Ready? Five, six, seven, eight.
Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo.
Okay, it looks like we got the shot.
Oh, thank you, Jesus.
All right,
now get the solo shots and
then get to editing immediately.
So who's gonna be on the cover?
Look, I don't know the answer to that.
You want the answer to that?
You'll have to wait till it's done.
All you broads clear out, huh?
Mikey's got a meeting he's gotta go to.
So who wants to shoot first?
I'll go first.
Well, hello there.
Hi, Mrs. Stromboli.
Gino said you wanted to see me.
Please, call me Dominica.
Come in. Step into my office.
Shut the door.
Come sit next to me.
Um, on the table?
Yeah, right here.
Have a seat.
Let's talk about your career,
Would you settle down?
You're starting to give me
fucking motion sickness.
What's your fucking problem?
I just wanna know
what she's doing in there.
She's probably blowing him.
That's prostitution.
That's America, sweetie.
That's not Reagan's America.
Some people have to do it to survive.
They gotta do what they gotta do.
I like to do it for the thrill.
You know, I don't understand you.
You have a mom that loves you so much,
a dad that lets you
drive his super-cool cars
and you go out and turn
tricks on the street for fun?
What the heck is wrong with you?
Well, sorry I wasn't born
with the perfect mom and dad
like you were.
You know nothing about my life.
Tell me, what do you see for yourself?
Well, I would like to be a filmmaker
and make feature films.
I have some ideas.
you are so creative.
How would you feel about
going into business together?
yeah, that would be awesome.
Um, I mean
I, I would like to have a meeting with you
and your husband.
We need to get really close, Mikey.
We need to build a relationship.
That's your tongue.
I just wanna know why you and not me?
Why does someone like
you get all the breaks?
And you don't even care.
It just makes me so mad.
What are you gonna do? Kill
me like Candy and Monique?
I'm not a snitch, okay?
At least that's one good thing
my parents could teach me.
But what you should know,
you can't kill your way
to the fucking top, okay?
People need to like you.
Yeah, my mom and dad are criminals,
but at least people love them.
We interrupt this broadcast
to bring you an important news break.
The body of a young woman was found
near a construction site
by the Ventura Freeway
early this morning.
Authorities are asking citizens
not to travel alone at night
or accept rides from strangers.
We will bring you more
information as this story develops.
Show's over.
That's it?
We just started.
Mrs. Stromboli, we can't be doing this.
You're a married woman.
Oh, don't you worry about that.
He's got his little whores on the side.
And if he can play,
I can play.
Oh, so this is okay with him?
Oh God, no.
If he finds out, he'll cut your dick off
and shove it down your throat.
Oh my God. Oh, you're
strong, Mrs. Stromboli.
You don't have to worry about that.
We're just talking.
Little rat skin.
I am being the perfect,
Do you want me to tell him
that you couldn't keep
your hands off of me?
No, ma'am.
Hi, Freddy.
I'm ready for my solo shoot if you are.
Oh rad. Let's get started.
So how's the footage looking?
Good, you know?
Real hot, you know?
But I know that's not the
reason why you're asking.
What do you mean?
You don't have to play coy.
I know all you ladies
wanna be on the cover.
I just want the best girl to win.
And I believe the best girl is me.
Yeah. How are you gonna prove it?
Miss Stromboli.
Like that, don't you?
You're an animal.
Oh, baby.
So what do you say, Phoebs?
How bad do you want this cover?
Enough to give me a private show?
Why is everyone in this city
such a goddamn scumbag?
I'm gonna report you to Gino.
He doesn't care.
All he cares about his
leg doesn't get broken
by some gombas.
So are you gonna show me?
I knew it. You're busted.
Wait till I tell everyone.
- Cassandra, don't, please. - Oh my God.
Help please.
Please stop.
Officer, please help.
She killed Freddy.
Phoebe killed Freddy.
Thank God you guys are here.
Yeah, thank God.
Oh, Isabella, oh my God.
I'm so sorry. You have to help me.
The cops are coming. I killed Freddy.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Oh, I don't know.
I just like wanted everything to be fair.
And then like, I know, he
just made me really, really mad
and I just had to kill him.
But then the cops are here, I'm sorry.
Oh my fucking God.
I can't keep cleaning up
your goddamn messes.
Get the fuck outta here.
Okay. Okay, okay, okay.
It's okay, baby. I'm here to protect you.
Well, why don't you get in my car?
No, we have to go back to the studio.
The other girls are in danger.
Other girls?
What did we do to deserve this?
We're gonna make detective tonight.
I think I heard a noise.
Okay, that's for the
money. That's for the fame.
Oh, she's biting it.
You're biting real hard, Mrs. Stromboli.
What's your favorite mountain bike up here?
- Shut up. - Camera.
My own star on the Walk of Fame.
Want some action?
Oh, bogus, dude. That's not cool.
There has to be an explanation for this.
Yeah. Phoebe's a fucking lunatic.
Holy Christ!
How is it you kids keep getting
yourself brutally murdered?
Phoebe killed Freddy, I saw her.
I told the cops.
You told the cops?
Why the fuck you do that?
Why are you yelling at me?
Look, she's a fucking idiot, okay?
We gotta do something now.
Hey, you got a problem with the fuzz, boss?
I can dig it.
Let's just say there's a
little bar down in Houston
that I can't step foot in for reasons.
Well, we gotta get rid
of them, that's for sure.
I got it.
I'll start an electrical fire.
We'll burn the whole building
down. Everyone will evacuate.
It'll get rid of the evidence.
I'll make it look like an
accident. I've done it before.
I like the way this guy fucking thinks.
Are you fucking insane?
We ain't gonna burn the place down.
Okay. All right, it's your hoedown, man.
You just tell me when to
allemande or dosey doe.
We gotta act fucking fast, Gino.
Well, okay, wait.
I'm just gonna have to
put on a charm. That's all.
Yeah, that's it.
Uh, let me do all the talking, all right?
Okay? You got it?
Get it? Good.
- We need to do something.
You need to go find Phoebe.
You think she's good for this?
No, not really.
But go find Phoebe. Make sure she's safe.
I'll take care of the fucking cops, okay?
No, I'll pretend I'm a homicidal maniac.
I'll put on a hockey mask
and I'll get a chainsaw,
and I'll fucking scare 'em away.
They're gonna fucking shoot you.
They never shoot
the killer in the movies.
It's the LAPD, are
you fucking kidding me?
They shoot everybody.
Look, I need you to go find Phoebe.
Make sure she's safe,
cause a fucking distraction,
I'll take care of the rest.
All right. You got it, boss.
- Oh my God. - Oh,
oh my God.
My glasses.
Fuck your glasses. I want you to fuck me.
And I'm gonna get
money for the film, right?
Yes you are, baby.
What was that?
I didn't hear anything.
Police, open up.
Oh fuck.
Put your clothes on, dummy.
Good evening, officers.
How can I help you?
Can you get off the table, please.
Officers, I'm sure we can discuss this.
I said
stand the fuck up.
Can I at least put my shirt on?
Get off the table.
Do you know who I am?
I don't give a shit who you are.
Now up against the table.
Spread 'em.
Get your hands off.
What did you say to me, boy?
Just be gentle, okay?
Looks like we got
ourselves a hero here, John.
Calm down, Bob.
We still got a killer to find.
You two,
main room.
Come on. Go.
Go on. Main room.
Wear a shirt, don't wear a
shirt. Nobody gives a shit.
Fucking ruining my fun, John.
There's gotta be something.
Oh, baby.
Get the fuck off my
mom, you fucking asshole.
What the fuck's wrong with you?
What the fuck?
It's okay, baby. I'm fine.
Oh Bob.
Looks like we got us a
mother-daughter team here.
What the fuck's wrong with you?
I ain't never done a
mother and a daughter
at the same time before, it could be fun.
Good evening, officer.
I'm Gino Antonioni,
I am the owner of this studio.
So is there a problem here?
Well, Mr. Antonioni,
I have it from sugar tits here
that there's been a murder on the premises.
You wouldn't know anything about that?
Oh, she's delirious.
She's been up all night exercising.
It's working out. Sweating.
No hey, she's on drugs.
I'm not high.
I saw Freddy with my own eyes.
Cassandra, please.
No, you're hiding the truth.
Is there anyone else in the building?
No. This, this is, this is it, yeah.
Well, I'll tell you what's gonna happen.
Me and this little Miss Thing
are gonna go find a private room
and I'm gonna interrogate her properly.
Cassandra, don't.
Hey, you sit still, goddamn it.
The rest of you can get
to know my partner, Bob.
Yes, officer.
All right, sweet cheeks,
park it here.
Tell me what you saw.
You hiding something
underneath that dress of yours?
I think I'm gonna have
to pat you down again.
Hey, man. Cool it.
Handcuff yourself to
the railing of that door
Hey, just do what he says, Mikey.
That's a good boy.
Just do what we say and we'll let you go.
What's he doing to Cassandra?
Interrogate her.
Right about now,
he's interrogating her real good.
I knew that girl was a head case
from the moment I met her.
She's mega disturbed.
Uh huh.
She tried telling us what to do,
and we told her to get
bent and she turned psycho.
The rest of the crew is shady too.
The Latina girl is a stripper.
The Italian girl and her mom,
they're gangsters.
I believe Gino has a warrant out.
Oh fuck, that was a good one.
Oh fuck.
Was that you?
The one they've been looking for.
They say you killed somebody.
Is that right?
No. I'm not gonna hurt you.
I like you.
We both hate stupid girls,
who don't know how to listen.
Who's laughing now, huh?
Tell you what, I'll make you a deal.
You stay right there,
right where you're hiding,
and we'll let you go.
I can tell you're a smart cookie, just
don't do anything stupid.
Did she squeal?
Oh, like a pig.
Where's Cassandra?
What did you do to her?
She is being held for more questioning.
Now the real question is who do I
interrogate next?
How about you?
Well, I didn't do, I didn't see anything.
Well, according to
the other little lady in there,
you're a dancer.
I'd like to corroborate that.
I didn't do anything.
Really, I'm not a dancer. I
don't know how to dance.
What is dancing?
Just do what he says.
Let's see it.
How about some flash dancing?
On the chair.
It's time for the big finish.
Take it off, baby.
No, no, no, no.
The shoes.
Keep the top on.
Keep going.
Let's go.
Come on, Bob.
Get in there and do some
real detective work for once.
Are you ticklish?
Think we can make her ticklish?
I know you can, Bob.
Okay, officer.
I think we've cooperated here quite enough.
I must say though, your
methods are a little queer.
You calling me queer?
I ain't no fucking queer.
The ladies can't keep
their hands off me. Ask Bob.
He's all man.
I bet you guys like to see
each other in action, huh?
How about you both get the fuck outta here
and go fuck each other up the ass.
I bet that's what you
both really want, huh?
I love that filthy little mouth.
You just became
my number one suspect.
- Don't you touch my baby,
you son up a bitch.
Yeah, Bob, we got us a
mother-daughter team here.
Can't split that up.
Think it's only fair we
interrogate them together.
Who gets who? I want
the one with the filthy mouth.
Well, shit. I want a turn.
Take me.
I'll do anything.
I know what a man like you wants.
I know how to please a man like you.
I'll let you do anything.
You can slap me, you can cut me
and I will cry and I will scream for you.
You know, I don't usually
go for broads your age.
I don't even go for broads
your daughter's age.
I like them much, much younger.
But I don't know,
you're really doing something for me.
Hold this, come on.
Ma. No, don't.
It's okay, baby.
I've been through this before.
Get the fuck off me,
you fucking cock sucker.
Keep talking filthy,
it's getting me all excited.
where are you going?
I've gotta get outta here.
I can't let you do that.
Isabella, she sent me to come find you,
make sure you're okay.
She said that?
Fuck yeah she did.
- Oh. - Listen,
people said you did some
super gnarly shit in there,
but you still got friends.
Whatever it is, we can work through it.
We're film family.
You're right. I can't leave now.
Hey, you know what?
Chill here.
I gotta cause a distraction
to get rid of those fucking cops.
Wait, they're not cops.
Tho, those guys are bad.
I'm gonna go back in there.
You make that distraction.
I'm taking your hammer.
All right,
whatever, dude.
Let's go.
Come here.
Get off of her, you ugly fuck.
Oh, Jesus Christ,
you shouldn't be doing that.
Yeah. Why's that?
Goddamn it, Bob,
can you keep them quiet
for five fucking minutes?
You need to get outta here.
I'm not leaving here without my mom.
You know what?
This isn't working for me.
You're too fucking
I'm gonna come back in about five minutes
and I'm just gonna kill you.
See you soon.
Goddamn it, Bob. Get up.
Get up.
God, what the fuck happened?
They went for the,
they went to get the fucking mother.
Son of a bitch.
Hey, fuck-face.
damn it.
you shot me in the fucking ear.
Sorry, kid.
The fuck did that fucker do to you?
I'm fine, baby.
Just, just unlock me.
Jesus, guys come on.
Would you, would you hurry up?
You little shit.
You like that?
Oh, I think my ribs are broken.
Ooh, really?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Why would you do that?
I don't know. I'm uh, I'm sorry.
It's okay. Let's get you outta here.
No, just go.
The other one's still in the building.
No. No.
When I asked you
not to do anything stupid,
this is exactly what I was talking about.
Now, where is that goddamn mother
and her whore of a daughter?
I'm not a snitch.
What the fuck?
Get the fuck off of her.
Get off my mom.
Goddamn it.
What the fuck is this?
Who the fuck are you?
You better leave, man.
I'm gonna cut,
I'm gonna cut you real bad.
Oh. Oh, you're gonna cut me?
You're gonna fucking cut me?
I'm just messing around, man.
I'm just messing around.
Chill, man. Chill.
Who the fuck you
think you're dealing with?
You think this is a movie?
I'm the real fucking deal.
Okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
You, you don't have to do this.
You, you and me. We're the same.
I, I don't want to kill.
I have to kill, just like you.
We are not the same.
Sure we are.
We, we both hate stupid girls.
I, I know you're not.
You're a smart girl, and what I'm gonna do,
I'm gonna get in my car,
I'm gonna drive away and
you'll never see me again.
You, you, you already got Bob.
You killed Bob. You don't need revenge.
You, you have nothing to gain from this.
- This isn't about revenge.
This isn't personal.
This is just business.
You can feel the burn. Murdercise.
You can feel the burn. Murdercise.
Murdercise. You can feel the burn
Murdercise. Murdercise
You can feel the burn. Murdercise.
Murdercise. She's lost in her joy joy
Joy. All her joy
Too much joy.
Oh, Don,
thank God you are safe.
I prayed to Mary, Joseph and Jesus.
Oh, thank God you're safe.
Thanks for nothing.
You left us all here to die, you putz.
No, I, I went for help.
Yeah. Yeah.
You are useless.
Where are these bastards?
I'm okay, Frankie,
and they're all dead.
Phoebe got em.
Well, hey, nice job, kids.
Especially you, Phoebe.
Uh, I mean, saving Mrs. Stromboli,
you saved all our asses, huh?
What can I say?
And you, Mikey,
there's a gold watch in this for you,
slightly used and later,
but a gold watch.
Thanks, Gino.
I guess it's back to Hot
Dog on a Stick for me.
Oh, no, no, no.
I promise, the next video, even better.
There's still the matter
of this video, Gino.
You are still on the clock.
but there's bodies all over the place.
Well, you've got your work
cut out of you now don't you?
Get rid of the bodies.
Oh, and Phoebe will be the next cover girl.
I don't know what to say, Mrs. Stromboli.
Thank you so much.
How would you like to
join our family, Phoebe?
Boy, I'd love to.
And Isabella here,
I'm sure would love to
have you around more.
Really? You mean that, Isabella?
Yeah. I guess,
having a level-headed
homicidal maniac as a friend,
it'd be all right.
Ms. Stromboli,
it would be an honor.
Call me Ma.
And Mikey,
you are going to need a nurse
and I will personally
make sure that you heal
and recover.
Oh, ribs. Ribs.
Ribs. - Oh, right, sorry.
O say can you see
Hi, I'm Phoebe Wrenkowski,
and I have a message
for the youth of today.
Crack is whack.
Say no to drugs, say no to communism
and always practice safe sex
by not doing it.
Build a better body and we
could build a better America.
Through the perilous fight
O'er the ramparts we watched,
were so gallantly streaming
And the
She's just an innocent girl
And she's lost in the
shadows of her world
And she's just doing what's told
She looks out the window
and it's so cold, cold, cold
It's so cold
Whoa, ho, ho
The window knows
You can feel the burn
Murdercise, pain is gain
You can feel the burn
Murdercise, pain is gain
You can feel the burn
Murdercise, pain is gain
You can feel the burn
Murdercise, pain is gain
She's lost her innocence boys
And now life is her toy
She's lost in renaissance boy
She's lost in her joy, joy, joy
All the joy
Whoa, ho, ho
Too much joy
You can feel the burn
Murdercise, pain is gain
You can feel the burn
Murdercise, pain is gain
You can feel the burn
Murdercise, pain is gain
You can feel the burn
Murdercise, pain is gain
No one respects me.
I mean you're the boss, right?
They don't wanna listen to you?
Persuade them.
Persuade them?
Persuade them.
Real nice.
Smack 'em around a bit.
That's what my dad does.
The murder isn't supposed to be fun,
sometimes it's necessary.