My Best Friend, His Girlfriend and Me (2026) Movie Script
1
["You Get What You Give"
by the New Radicals playing]
[man] They say that childhood is
the best time to build new friendships.
That's me: Olli.
Hey, kick it right over here!
[Olli] Eight years old and already one of
the coolest, most likable guys around.
Problem was, no one had noticed it yet.
No wonder you always get picked last!
[Olli] But then, suddenly,
Matze wound up in my class.
Okay, guys, let's meet
our new classmate here, Matthias.
Tell us a little about yourself.
Do you have any hobbies?
[stuttering] I like to play soccer.
[students laughing]
[teacher] Enough.
I don't see what's so funny.
Matthias, please sit over there.
So, let's continue
with different types of sentences.
For example...
Uh, hey, I'm Olli.
-[teacher] "Where is my pen?"
-M-M-Matze.
So you play soccer, right?
Oliver, stop bothering Matthias
or I'll have to move him to another desk.
He-He didn't... I...
I... just asked him a question.
He-he-he he-he didn't do anything wrong,
he-he-he was just answering.
[Olli] That was it. That moment was
the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
-[school bell rings]
-You got the music in you
Don't let go
You got the music in you
-4 a.m., we ran a miracle mile
-[swan honking]
We're flat broke
-[skateboard wheels rolling]
-But hey, we do it in style
The bad rich
God's flying in for your trial
Ha-ha-ha
MY BEST FRIEND, HIS GIRLFRIEND AND ME
You cannot find a friend
-[engine revving]
-Friend
You feel your tree is breaking
Just bend
[cheering]
You got the music in you
Don't let go
You got the music in you
I was trying to be a good guy, you know?
-[chatting continues]
-This world is gonna pull through
Don't give up
You've got a reason to live
[Matze] Good news.
I found the perfect apartment
for you and your cat.
That's right, ground floor.
Yup, great. I'll pick you up.
Hey, come here.
[intriguing music playing]
[Matze] Where is that?
Zanzibar. Island off Tanzania.
[Matze] That has to go on the list.
Well, that's fascinating.
I wasn't aware that luxury bamboo huts
were part of our listing portfolio.
[Olli clears throat]
Supposed to be working, right?
[stuttering] Yeah, I...
The flat on M-Molke Street, I closed it.
[boss] Mm-hmm.
How about you? You just been
planning your trip around the world?
I... brought you
your favorite little special something.
[boss] Ah.
I don't know what's more impressive to me,
your perfect timing,
your ability to finish work
and get out the door right on the dot...
Mm! Or your very clever career planning.
I mean, who doesn't take a year off
in their early thirties?
By the way, the Mlheim apartment
has a scheduled viewing,
only the person won't be there
till seven tonight. Here's the address.
Seven? I'm off the clock.
I know, it compensates
for the time you spent just now
making plans for your midlife crisis.
Oh, and you better not put this
on your expense report, Olli.
Would it kill the Empress
to give me a compliment?
That apartment on Molke Street
was a tough one.
You mind... taking care of this, Matze?
I need to run and get
Schmitti's birthday present.
I thought we were getting Schmitti
wine from the gas station.
I came up with something else.
[upbeat rock music playing]
-[Matze] This is it. Looks nice.
-[Olli] Wow, an actual adult house.
[ringing]
[both] Happy Birthday, Schmitti!
Shh! Don't!
It's been over two hours!
Everybody's done eating!
C'mon, we're not mad, it's no big deal.
For you. You know,
now that you're a homeowner.
Right, thanks. Listen up, okay?
Behave yourselves.
This isn't some rager,
I don't want a bunch of police at my door.
Hard enough
to convince Antje to invite you.
Really? It's your birthday.
That was the only reason she let me.
Wait, wait, wait. Hold on.
Put these on first, okay?
[soft music playing in background]
It's a trendy shade of gray right now.
It's a mix of slab and granite.
[plastic crinkling]
Oh, don't let us interrupt.
I was hoping you'd be
on your world tour already.
Not for another two months.
Mmm.
-Great place, Schmitti.
-[Schmitti] Thank you.
Didn't know you made this much
in the pan department.
Household wares. And I'm not a salesman
anymore, I'm a sales manager now.
Wow, since when?
-For the last one or two years.
-Schmitti, good call on the bidet.
Yeah, yeah, but it's not quite...
Yes... [gasps]
-[bidet whirs]
-[water bubbling]
[upbeat rock continues]
[woman] The place is
beautifully decorated, Antje.
Thank you. It was all a team effort.
Right, babe?
Oh, yeah. Definitely, yep.
Huh. So this is your room, Schmitti?
Oh my God, Antje?
Wait, you're pregnant? [gasps] Since when?
Not quite yet. [chuckles]
But I bet we'll be first.
You guys are all too scared.
[Olli] Uh, not so fast there, Antje.
[Matze] Olli is, uh,
already at seven months.
Third trimester. I'm always so hungry.
Have to eat for two now.
Leftovers are downstairs.
[Matze] Mm.
[Olli] Oh, dude! Got himself a smart home.
[Matze] Huh.
[Olli] Oh.
What does this do?
[Olli] No idea.
[rapid beeping]
[alarm blaring]
The hell happened?
Nothing, just... pressed the screen.
-That's the alarm, you idiot!
-My bad.
[Schmitti] Shoot...
-Ralf, turn the alarm off already!
-I know.
You don't know the code?
You installed this thing!
Yeah, but it's still not set up yet.
Find the manual, turn it off! Go!
[Schmitti grunts]
Ow... Yep, all good!
[alarm continues]
[rings]
Hey, honey, uh, these two were outside.
I guess the neighbors
called the police for us.
-Find the instructions?
-Not yet.
-Then go get it!
-Okay.
-[grunts]
-[annoyed exhale]
All good, thank you.
-[Antje] I'm really sorry about this.
-Can I give it a go?
Yes, go ahead, take a look.
-[alarm stops]
-[sighs]
Thank you.
The code is 1-2-3-4,
like most factory settings.
It reeks of cannabis.
Pff! That's impossible, officer.
[people gasping and murmuring]
[officer] What a specimen.
Hey, no need to be embarrassed.
We've all been known to smoke
a little ganja after a long day.
[Schmitti] Found it!
[feet squeaking]
Hoo.
[clears throat]
You got him an enormous weed plant?
What's wrong with you guys?
What were you thinking?
He doesn't do that anymore.
You might as well be preteen delinquents,
and I don't wanna see you
around Ralf again.
Out!
You better take off, guys.
Hm.
[Olli] Ugh... Schmitti's parties
used to be cooler.
[Matze] Yeah, he's changed so much.
A year ago he was still a huge stoner.
[Olli] Pff. And now he has a townhouse
with an ass shower. Thanks to Antje.
Don't you think
some part of him actually wants this?
No self-respecting man
would live like that.
The guy just missed his opportunity
to escape that relationship. That's all.
[Matze] Well, it's none of our business.
We'll be shipping out soon anyway.
[bottle opens]
[Olli] Mm.
Here's to our world tour.
To the best time of our lives.
[Olli] Mmm.
-[Matze] Great layout, right?
-[woman] Wow.
The previous tenant
even left some furniture here,
in case you can make use of it.
[woman] Wow.
I could have it right away?
Of course.
[laughs] Perfect.
I'm desperate to move,
I share an apartment.
Having roommate problems?
It's not that.
My roommate's incredible.
But, unfortunately, her boyfriend isn't.
-He practically lives with us now.
-Got it.
Pees on the top of the seat,
eats all your snacks.
It's worse. He's clingy.
She and I can barely hang out anymore
without him getting in the way.
Plus, lately he likes to talk about
having kids with her
while I'm sitting right there,
so I thought, better get outta there
before they kick me to the curb.
[romantic music playing]
[both laughing]
Um... be honest,
do you think I'll get the apartment?
You can sign for it right now.
Really?
Uh, wow.
S-s-s-stop.
Uh...
[stuttering] I should probably
tell you something, just before you sign.
What is it?
[stuttering] The...
-Wait a second.
-The apartment...
Uh... I had a stutter as a child.
Trust me, there's a really simple trick.
Just try whispering the words into...
into my ear like this, okay?
[whispering] Th-this unit ha-has mold.
I felt like I had to say something.
Why show me this unit then?
I...
[stuttering] I wasn't...
[softly] I didn't know
I'd like you this much, to be honest.
Well, perfect timing.
I'm lucky you finally had that epiphany.
You owe me for this.
I'll, um... find you a terrific
new apartment as fast as I can.
I ha-have something in mind already.
That too.
I was also thinking
we could get some dinner.
Tonight?
It won't be dinner
if we wait to eat 'til tomorrow morning.
[door opens]
-What's up?
-[door closes]
The gym next to the grocery store
just got two cryotherapy chambers.
Perfect for Iceland, we gotta be ready...
Olli, this is Rebecca.
She viewed one of our units today.
[laughs]
Hi, it's a pleasure.
Hey.
Your bathroom, is it uh, over...?
Oh, uh, over there on the right.
Okay.
A client?
Oh, dude.
She's amazing.
Totally laid back and super sweet.
And she's gonna be a dentist,
so she's got a great career too.
We just had a lovely dinner.
Now we're going for a drink.
Okay.
Come get a beer with us.
You can get better acquainted.
Dude, what's the point
in getting to know her?
We're gonna be gone in a few weeks.
[Olli clears throat]
Wow, your apartment is so charming.
[Olli] Mm.
So huge. [laughs]
That's the route
for our around-the-world trip.
Did Matze mention
we'll be leaving for a year pretty soon?
Yeah, yeah, he did.
I did a trip like that before college.
-[Matze] Oh really?
-Yeah, I did...
two months in Australia and New Zealand,
then I spent another month in Thailand.
[laughing]
Three months? Are you serious?
That's hardly a world tour.
You gotta set foot on every continent
at the very least.
Okay. [laughs]
Okay, how 'bout that drink?
-Yeah.
-[Olli] Where we going?
What's wrong, dude?
A minute ago,
you asked me if I wanted to come.
True. I did.
Well then, let's go!
I'm going stir-crazy in here by myself.
["Happy" by Pharrell Williams playing]
It might seem crazy
What I'm 'bout to say
-Hi, Olli.
-Hey.
Hey.
[Rebecca] Good! No, really. I'm impressed.
[Matze] Check this out.
Gonna blow your mind.
...balloon that could go to space
With the air, like I don't care
Baby, by the way
That's my favorite. Blueberries.
-They seemed gross as a kid.
-[song continues]
Oh, look. Morning, sunshine.
Hey, do you want a little?
'Because I'm happy
Clap along if you feel
That happiness is the truth
'Because I'm happy
Clap along if you know
What happiness is to you
[screaming]
Hey! Hey, I'm in the shower,
turn off the sink!
Sorry!
Here come bad news
Talking this and that
-[Rebecca] Yeah.
-[Matze] I know.
Right? It couldn't hurt.
You know, to go jogging again sometime.
Fine. I'll tag along. Hey.
Hey!
I should probably warn you
-I'll be just fine
-Gotcha.
Come on!
No offense to you
Don't waste your time
Here's why
Because I'm happy
Clap along if you feel
Like a room without a roof
[Matze] Are you sure?
[Rebecca] Trust me.
You're gonna look amazing.
...like happiness is the truth
Because I'm happy
-See? That's perfect.
-That one.
Oh, wait.
[exhales]
Okay.
Perfect. That looks great.
MEXICO AND THE DA DE LOS MUERTOS
[Matze] Did you ask
if they have a spot for us?
Matze.
-...bring me down
-Rebecca.
-Yeah. Oh yeah, for sure.
-Bring me down, can't nothin'
Bring me down
I said I tell you now, uh!
Bring me down, can't nothin'
[humming]
MEXICO
DISCOVER THE COUNTRY AND ITS PEOPLE
[intriguing music playing]
[continues humming]
[imitating Antje] Ralf!
Uh... Is, uh... is Antje here or what?
Ya know, that was
a stupid thing to do the other day.
-I can't betray Antje for you two.
-Ah, spare me.
Wait, man, why'd you just
put a muffin in your jacket?
Oh, fuck. Uh, Antje's been dieting,
I'm supposed to support her. Hold this.
[plastic rustling]
Shit, she can't know
I was eating chocolate.
[rubbing fabric]
Yeah, relationships are
about compromise, you know?
[scoffs] A compromise is
screwing the cap on the toothpaste.
I mean, you're giving up your whole
personality, for chrissakes. Ugh.
With you, I'm not shocked. But I didn't
think Matze would fall into this trap.
-How much will it take for him to realize...
-What happened?
It's his new girlfriend,
the poor man is just brainwashed.
Like, he actually started dieting,
now he's going jogging!
No time for me anymore. Geez!
Well yeah, it's a lost cause
competing with a girl.
[scoffs]
She's been planning a party
for a few days.
She aced some stupid dentist test.
Apparently we're hosting!
Come out for it.
Antje won't let me go to yours.
Ugh! She doesn't have to know
you're coming to the party. Hm?
We'll see.
-[lively music playing]
-[party chatter]
Yeah, so, we actually went
to the same school.
-Um, and we go back a ways. Yeah.
-Okay, interesting.
Excuse me, a teeny tiny second.
That's Moni, my roommate.
-Ah.
-Sorry.
Excuse me.
-[clears throat]
-[Moni] Hey!
[Rebecca] Moni.
-Hello.
-Matze.
-Hey, nice to meet you.
-Likewise.
So where's your Siamese twin, huh?
Hauke can't be here tonight,
-he caught a bad case of the flu.
-Hmm.
-I told him to call if he needs anything.
-[phone buzzes]
Oops, guess who it is.
Hey, my sweet little snuggle bunny.
-What's going on?
-[Hauke coughs] I have really bad chills.
And the fever's back and it's worse
than before, it's already at 99.2.
-I'm dying here. I can't do this.
-Hauke, hey, so glad you called actually,
because I just read a major study
that said the use of mobile devices can
exacerbate the flu in certain cases, okay?
Grab some aspirin and stay in bed.
Hey, get well soon. Ciao!
I'll grab you a drink.
Yeah, thanks.
-Where did you tell Antje you were going?
-I didn't.
I waited for her to leave for the movies
with a bunch of friends of hers.
I can't be out past ten o'clock.
Really? That's only an hour.
Well, that's my life.
It takes me a full 50 minutes to get home.
-Suburbia is overrated.
-Mm.
Oh, uh... your plant's upstairs, ya know.
Yeah, so? I quit that stuff.
So, um... you can watch me smoke. Hm?
Come on.
Okay, but I won't touch it.
[lighter flicks]
[inhaling]
[coughing]
[Olli laughs]
-Rebecca? Um...
-[doorbell rings]
Alonso's here, at the door.
My boss is here.
Your boss got an invite?
Yeah, I told him just to be polite.
I didn't think he'd actually show up.
Hello!
Miss Richthoff.
I brought a little gift
for you this evening.
Do you like wine?
Forgive the ridiculous question.
Of course you like it.
I can't think of anybody who doesn't.
It's wonderful.
And that means Mr. Dommel
from the Pfaffenbeck winery
is certainly in good company.
Okay, Mr. Dommel.
Good evening, hello.
-Hello.
-Right.
Don't you think a wine tasting
would add something special tonight,
a whiff of refinement, perhaps?
Of course you do.
Everybody loves wine at a party.
Mr., uh, Dommel, go on.
[uncertain laugh]
Hey, is peeing still okay up here?
Yeah.
Who just randomly sends
a wine-tasting pop-up to a party
with a whole winemaker thrown in?
Uh, well,
would a magician have been better?
We could hire one
to make the wine guy disappear.
I'll show Mr. Dommel where he can set up,
and we'll, uh... be fine, okay?
Okay, I'll get my boss squared away.
Thank you.
Miss Richthoff, do you have a private area
where I could make a quick phone call?
Um, yeah, absolutely, I'll show you.
-[sighs]
-[urine splashing]
[Rebecca] Okay, here we are.
You can definitely...
-Thank you.
-take your phone call out here.
[tense music playing]
Oh, sorry.
[laughing]
Uh...
I'd recommend a prostate exam.
Your stream looks
awfully feeble and inconsistent.
Uh, um... maybe we should find
a different place, somewhere downstairs.
[both laughing]
-He walked right into the splash zone!
-I got his shoes!
Hope they're moisture-wicking.
[laughing]
Thanks a lot. I work for him.
Wow, hey, cool boss.
How come you didn't introduce us?
Hey. Uh, do me a favor, okay?
Please stay up here for tonight. Thanks.
-She must be nuts.
-[door closes]
This is my house, dude!
-Your place is killer.
-Matze?
That guy Schmitti
just took a leak on my boss's shoes.
-What?
-He and Olli are smoking weed out there.
I thought Schmitti didn't smoke anymore.
Huh? That's not the issue here.
What did Alonso say after that?
[sighs] That I have an interesting
circle of friends in my life.
Seems like you missed
an opportunity to tell him
that homeless guys sneak up there
every now and then.
Good idea, but it's a bit too late, Matze.
I told them that they should
probably stay upstairs tonight.
Oh, boy.
You may have just lit a fuse in Olli.
["Here Comes the Hotstepper"
by Ini Kamoze playing]
Na, na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na
Na-na-na, na-na-na, na-na-na-na
-Here comes the hotstepper
-Murderer
-I'm the lyrical gangster
-Murderer
-Big up di crew ina di area
-Murderer
-Still love you like that
-Murderer
I'll make sure
they don't do something dumb.
Yes, we multiply
Anyone press will hear
The fat lady sing
Act like you know, RICO
I know what Bo don't know
Touch them up and go, uh-oh!
Ch-ch-chang, chang
-Here comes the hotstepper
-Murderer
-I'm the lyrical gangster
-Murderer
-Excuse me, Mr. Officer
-Murderer
-Still love you like that
-Murderer
All right. I believe I'm all set.
-Just a sec...
-He'll hook you up.
[clinking]
Hey, you guys! Um, this is, um, Mr. Dommel
from a winery called, um, Pfaffenbeck.
And tonight he's here to introduce you
to the, uh, wonderful world of winemaking.
-Right? Uh, perfect.
-Yeah.
Thanks a lot and let's have some fun!
All right, well, how
'bout we dive in? Uh...
The important thing here,
as with any natural product,
is the quality
of the source materials and ingredients.
At Pfaffenbeck we use organic grapes,
uh, grown responsibly.
And for our toast we use
free-range white bread, folks!
[uncomfortable laughter and murmuring]
Right, so we don't use any pesticides
or any fungicides or any herbicides.
Oh, and our sandwiches are guaranteed
vitamin and nutrient free.
Olli, don't.
[Dommel] There are many elaborate
and protracted steps in between,
from harvesting the fresh berries
to... bottling the product and selling it.
[Olli] If you get carried away
with a bottle
and you need to sober up, we recommend...
-sandwiches.
-Sandwiches.
[laughter]
Why don't I open a bottle right now, huh?
Pew-pew-pew-pew-pew-pew-pew!
Rebecca, do you think
you could take care of the disruption?
I'd be very grateful.
Everyone would be very grateful.
Yes, I'm on it, of course.
Thank you.
-Sound good?
-Umm. Mm-hmm.
Olli. That's enough.
-Hey stop. That's mine!
-Stop.
-Goddammit, that's enough, okay?
-Hey. Give me...
I said stop it!
-[Olli grunts]
-[Rebecca] Oh!
[people gasp]
Don't panic! No big deal.
She's still intact!
Sandwiches all around!
[Schmitti] Yeah! Whoo!
C'mon!
It's okay.
When were you going to step in?
When he's swinging from the ceiling
or when he sets the place on fire?
I'm sorry, okay?
Olli can be a menace
when he's been drinking.
Trust me, he doesn't mean you harm.
Oh, cool. It changes everything
if he's not doing it on purpose.
We'll get this back under control.
Okay! Welcome to the best game ever.
Each player has to have
extremely strong nerves.
-Hold up, hang on, don't turn it over.
-Oh.
Hurry up. We're all waiting here.
Okay, so this is a game my dear friend
Matze and I created from scratch,
after many weeks of contemplation.
-The legendary...
-[drumming]
Dookie Quartet.
-[Schmitti] Get ready.
-Okay, look at your cards. Mm?
[people exclaiming]
Holy moly! That's a real whopper.
And so symmetrical.
Thanks. It's mine.
I haven't seen a pile of crap like that
since my college dorm days.
Mine tend to be more like potato soup now.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
I made that after Matze and I
went on that all-bean diet.
-No kidding.
-[people gasp]
Moni! Hey.
Hey.
-Can you get up?
-Uh, yeah.
-[Schmitti] Nice.
-Yeah.
-Up you go.
-Time for a shot.
[Dommel] I still have to drive.
Let's go sit down. Here. Hey. Look at me.
Are you okay?
Uh, yeah...
You can go, it's all right.
Hm. So this basically works
like normal Quartet, or...?
You outta your mind, dude?
Calm down.
Next round we'll let you play.
As I was saying,
like in a normal game of Quartet,
the highest value wins.
As for toilet paper,
do your best to get rid of it.
And the "stink factor"?
Maximizes your points.
But stinking is usually negative, right?
Eh, not when you're dealing with turds.
All right, I'm, uh,
going for artistic value, 8.5.
-The pretzel.
-The pretzel.
You're not sick. You need water.
-Stay here.
-Sorry, Becky,
uh, do you need anything?
-Yeah, water for Moni. No, it's okay.
-I can get it. Right?
[man] Wow... never seen one like that.
What's so entertaining over here?
We're playing Dookie Quartet.
This is Matze's masterpiece.
We don't stand a chance
against the pretzel.
On that note, I have to go.
Thank you all
for such an interesting evening.
Uh, I'm sorry, Dr. Alonso...
Please, don't be sorry.
I love looking at high-quality photos
of fecal artwork.
Two or three are pretty alarming.
Consider seeing a specialist
or eating more fiber. Have a nice evening.
Shit. Wait, sir!
Oh! Here's to driving!
[Rebecca] Dr. Alonso!
See you Monday.
Sh...
I'm so sorry about this.
Tonight was supposed to be
a nice, calm evening
with my new colleagues, you understand?
Instead, my boss saw
your "greatest shits".
Which means that I saw your shit.
And everyone here saw your shit too!
It was a shitty party.
["Sugar on Your Tongue" by Silver playing]
[door slams]
Make me say ah
La, la-la-la
Make me say ah
La, la-la-la
Ah
La, la-la-la
Make me say ah
La, la-la-la
[phone vibrating]
[phone continues vibrating]
Holy shit! Oh, fuck!
283 MISSED CALLS
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Antje tried to call me 283 times.
[Olli groans]
The first time, you let the phone ring.
Then you just ignored it
and put it on mute.
What? You should've told me to answer!
I did, but you yelled,
"I don't wanna leave yet."
"I wish that nag would leave me alone."
What? Oh, shit.
Oh, dammit.
Idiot. Screw you.
[door closes]
That poor guy.
[running footsteps receding]
-[man groaning]
-[distant door slams]
[groaning continues]
Oh my God. Was it as good for you
as it was for me? Hm?
-You're such an idiot.
-[Olli laughs]
Ugh... Ow, my head's exploding.
That's what happens when you eat healthy.
You get a weak stomach.
How come you're in my bed?
Becky just wanted some peace.
[Olli scoffs]
[grunts and exhales]
[both grunting and groaning]
-[Olli] Ugh.
-Look, man, what was that last night?
It was Becky's night,
and you completely ruined it.
Uh, what? How so?
It was an amazing party.
Dookie Quartet was a big hit, just saying.
[Matze] Oh shit.
That explains
Becky's freak-out last night.
Hey, listen, you should get back
to finding her an apartment.
She's here way too much, man.
[exhales]
Well, I'm gonna go sit upstairs in the sun
and have a little hair-of-the-dog.
You can join me later.
[metallic scraping]
Ugh.
Hi.
Just wanted to... say I'm sorry again.
Don't talk to me right now.
Okay, I'll just be here.
Look, Matze, we need to talk.
Do you have any idea how annoying this is?
I live in your apartment because
Hauke and Moni are driving me crazy,
and now I'm stuck
in that exact situation, but with Olli.
I can't do these three-way relationships,
you know?
Olli is way cooler than Hauke.
Okay, that's not the point I'm making.
[sighs]
C'mon, we need to solve this.
I can't... just, like,
force Olli to move out, though.
Uh, right, that's not...
Of course not, but...
you could leave anytime.
Uh... what I mean is,
Right now we're looking for a place
that's... that's, you know, just for me.
Matze.
With most other men,
any mention of... of moving in together...
[emotional music playing]
would've made me have a panic attack,
but not with you.
Uh, sorry, was there
a compliment in there at all?
[laughs]
Okay, so?
Do you wanna shack up?
Uh, if you, um, you know...
think you'd be interested.
Yeah.
We're getting an apartment. [laughs]
-C'mere.
-Oh.
[both laugh]
[tense music playing]
I... have to... break the news
to Olli somehow, I guess.
You go tell him now...
and I'll keep cleaning up.
Ugh.
Ugh...
[tense, suspenseful music playing]
Pfft.
I spoke to Becky about our little problem.
Mm. Excellent.
She can see us
living in an apartment of our own.
[scoffs] Oh please, you've already got me.
Tough luck for her.
Tryna tell me something?
We're looking for our own place.
Dammit, Becky's just like Antje!
That's ridiculous.
Did you already forget?
You weren't allowed
to sleep in your own bed last night.
Once you live together, she'll start
carrying your nuts in her purse.
You think she'll
let our trip go forward, huh?
Yeah, of course!
I wouldn't be so sure, my friend.
If you give a woman your pinky,
she'll come back for the whole man.
That's how it was with Schmitti
and all our other friends.
At first, they're smitten
with their new woman.
But now none of them have a spine
or any say in the most important parts
of their lives.
[humorous, intriguing music playing]
She destroyed Dookie Quartet, Olli.
What?
Even the pretzel?
You'll never get
that shape again, brother!
Off to do some yoga.
Eh... So? You tell him about our talk?
[Rebecca] What did he say?
[Matze] So, I thought it over.
For me, the trip around the world
comes first.
And, uh... we'll move in together
when I get back.
There's no rush.
And I'll help you
with the Moni and Hauke situation.
I'm sure we can find you a nice apartment.
You're right.
Maybe this isn't the best time.
I'll be at the gym, okay?
[woman] We align our spines by stretching
the crown of our head towards the sky.
Drop those shoulders,
let them rise away from the ears.
Becky, this isn't a negative thing.
Wanting to wait a bit longer doesn't mean
he's not the right guy, you know that.
He's in love with you, Becky.
Why is he going along
with being manipulated?
His heart is too big.
Yeah, but that's what makes you like him.
Sure, but then he should
treat me like that, not that moron Olli.
Faces into a nice little grin.
It's like, finally I end up with a guy
that... thinks like I do, ya know?
I can be funny and enjoy myself
and... and be authentic.
And then his best friend is...
such a douchebag.
And we're calming
down, we're letting go...
And for today's breathing meditation,
Nadi Shodhana,
let's close the right nostril with
our right thumb, inhale through the left...
[strained inhaling]
Close. Hold.
-Exhale through the right.
-[exhaling]
Close. Open and exhale.
I won't give up, not a chance.
I'm not letting some numbskull
steal my dream man.
We're not chatting over coffee right now.
We're here to decompress and breathe.
It worked. I'm so decompressed.
Excuse me... gotta win my boyfriend over.
[rock music playing on radio]
-Come on! Come on! Yes!
-Jesus.
-Come on! Ah Shit! Argh!
-[laughing]
[machine] You're dead.
-Come on!
-[doorbell ringing]
[Matze] Who's that?
-Becky.
-Hey.
Hey.
I overreacted this morning.
I'm sorry about that.
Will you forgive me?
Yeah, of course.
[both laugh]
[Olli] Uh... Uh, what's going on?
Uh, so, um...
I wanted to ask
if I might be able to move in here.
I mean, obviously
just until you find me a new place.
There's a problem, one of our pipes burst.
My room's a mess.
There's, like, um, four inches of water.
-Oh God. Yeah, of course you can stay.
-[Rebecca] Really?
I took the liberty
of preparing some dinner.
Hm. Zucchini spaghetti?
Burgers.
So, why don't I start cooking?
[funky music playing]
So, honey, you wanna invite
your friends over at some point?
Hm. So we can all do yoga?
[Rebecca] Ha-ha. No, of course not.
Well, don't you have your pinball meetup?
[scoffs] "Pinball meetup"?
It's called Extreme Pinball, okay?
We don't do that here.
Every year it's a new location.
[Rebecca] Exciting.
Can I come along and play?
Of course.
Are you crazy? No girls allowed.
I'm sorry. I... didn't know that.
Hope you like the food.
You can come some time.
The guys won't mind at all.
Cool.
So, what exactly is it?
I wanna know all about Extreme Pinball.
Pretty typical man stuff.
By the end, every one of us is sloshed.
Hm.
Can't have fun unless you're hammered.
Well, to help you
get a better sense of it,
Extreme Pinball is just
pinball under extreme conditions.
For example, we shocked people
with an electric dog collar last year.
[chuckles] Yeah.
-Mm. That sounds fun.
-[Matze laughs]
Hm. We could set up
at a strip club this time.
There'd be plenty of distractions.
I dunno...
If you're into stripping and stuff,
what's the point
of going to a club, right?
[burps]
[hard rock music playing]
[man] Let's go.
Hey, Matze, catch.
[laughing]
-[Rebecca] Hey.
-[men greeting]
Where's mine?
-You wanna play?
-Yeah, sure.
You think I'm too much of a lady?
-We have another one?
-[man] Sure, here.
["Ya Mama" by Fatboy Slim playing]
-Thanks.
-[man] Yeah.
Push the tempo, push the tempo
Push the tempo...
[machine] Let's go!
[man] Let's go.
[laughing]
-[machine warbles]
-Yeah!
-Woo!
-C'mon!
-Yes!
-Here you go.
[man] All right, you're up.
-[all shouting]
-[groans]
You're off target.
[groans]
-Argh. C'mon!
-[men cheering]
-Ah, shit!
-[men shouting and cheering]
[laughing]
[man] Hit him where it hurts, boys.
[groans]
Dammit!
-And fire!
-Ugh!
Ah, yeah! Whoo! Yes!
[all laughing]
[all] Cheers!
[man] Right, drink up.
Down the hatch.
-Whoa!
-[man] Wow, that's strong.
-[all commenting]
-Okay.
-[man] You want another?
-Now it's my turn.
Don't hit her, okay?
-I'm starting now.
-[machine] Let's go!
[shots firing]
[pinball sound effects bleeping]
[shots continue firing]
Oh!
[laughing]
Hey man, cut it out!
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm okay.
[pinball sounds continue]
Oh!
Oh...
Yes! Come on!
God, man, you're such an asshole.
What? She wanted to play, I'm sorry!
That's not cool.
What, did I miss something?
Are we playing Extreme Pinball
or Extreme Pinball?
Are you okay?
Yeah, never better.
Okay, it's my turn now. Glasses.
Take your revenge, c'mon.
Forget about it, it hurts like hell.
[Olli] Okay, okay. Are you ready?
-Finish him, guys. Come on.
-[men agreeing]
[pinball machine plinking]
[grunting]
[rapid shots firing]
[man whooping]
[shouting]
Nice shot.
Ahh! Ahh!
Really!? Are you nuts?
My game hasn't even st...
-[man 1] C'mon, let it rip, boys!
-[man 2] Yeah!
-Go, go, go, go, go!
-[groaning]
[whimpers]
[machine] Jackpot!
[machine laughing]
Schnapps?
-[all] Yeah.
-[man] Sign me up.
[Rebecca] Want a schnapps too, Olli?
-[Olli] Yeah.
-[men laughing]
[intriguing music playing]
AUSTRALIA
[woman] Hey.
-[clears throat]
-Can I explain to you how books work?
Uh, thanks, I'm all good.
No, you're not.
You're buying this.
Let's head to the checkout.
Uh, there is a page missing.
-Australia's best bars.
-Mm.
Why don't you get Lonely Planet?
They have much better tips.
Okay, sure. Yeah.
Super. You're buying both.
The checkout is over there.
Hey, and in the Maldives,
we'll visit the Baa Atoll,
and there's a restaurant
that's completely underwater.
It's all made of glass.
We'll be surrounded by all that sea life.
And there will be sharks
and giant turtles...
-Cool.
-[Olli] Yeah.
[grunts]
So, Matze,
we gotta pick up our cold training.
You're slacking, brother, c'mon.
Check it out.
What? Right now?
Hell yeah. Just takes a few minutes.
By all means. I better grocery shop.
Let's go.
Shit, it's cold as hell in here.
I disagree. But I've been
training like crazy for a while.
Jesus, Olli. What the hell happened?
Extreme Pinball.
[Matze] So, Bjrn,
are you sure that -60 is safe for this?
Feels like every cell in my body
is slowly dying.
Shit! Accidentally maxed it out.
You're at -110.
[laughing]
Nah, I'm kidding.
Don't be a pussy, it's -60.
[uncertain laugh]
Mexico would be great
if we could do Da de los Muertos, right?
Really, Day of the Dead?
It's not a funeral, okay? It's basically
a giant party with skulls full of tequila.
That sounds super fun.
[suspenseful music playing]
[engine starts]
So by the way,
you still wanna get SCUBA certified?
-Hell yeah.
-Hm.
Ah, I have three viewings I forgot about.
Cover for me?
Whoa, dude, no way, I'm off the clock.
[tires screech]
Shit, dude!
-Ahh!
-What's wrong?
It's Becky, we forgot her!
I'm sorry, I'm, I'm m-mortified, honey.
It's okay. It happens.
[instructor] Now pull the left knee up...
-He forgot me there. Right in the lot.
-Really?
Yeah, all because Olli won't stop
jabbering about that stupid world tour.
Then Matze forgets about everything,
including me.
I can't imagine that, yikes.
Becky, I'm sure you mean
just as much to him as Olli does.
[laughs] Wow, that's horrifying. Cool.
How long's the world tour thing?
A year.
Sit low and deepen that stretch, good.
Really? And you're gonna let him go?
I mean I can't deny him.
It's a dream he's had forever.
Even though you're a couple now?
-I'd put my foot down if I were you.
-Me too. Definitely.
-For sure.
-Right? That's crazy.
Transition into chair pose. Utkatasana.
No. I'm not involving myself in it.
He has to make the decision
to scrap the trip all by himself. Period.
And now turn toward your favorite side.
Okay. I guess
I could just nudge him along.
-Yeah, do that.
-But don't wait too long.
Hey, if you wanna gossip,
take this to a cafe! Chair pose!
[man] Have a nice, calm chat.
Yeah. Take him out
this weekend or something.
You could lose him, okay? Gotta act fast.
[bubbling sound effect]
Where's Matze?
He's behind schedule.
Oh.
Yeah, hopefully he's looking
for your new apartment.
He is, yeah.
What happened with the...
with the burst water pipe?
They repaired it.
Mm.
They have to get
all the moisture out of the walls, too.
Can't have mold, right?
-Mm.
-So did you lose a bet?
That's quite an outfit.
For Matze and my SCUBA course.
Starts this weekend.
Oh, darn.
-I hate to disappoint you, Olli...
-[paper rustles]
Matze and I are going away
for the weekend.
Uh... Matze knows about this?
It's a surprise.
[laughs quietly]
He won't go.
You're telling me
he's gonna pick a diving course
over a weekend on the beach
with his girlfriend?
Uh... yeah.
Hey, wait a minute.
Look, tell me how I can persuade you
to stay out of our way this weekend.
Hm... Hmm...
How about cryotherapy?
Whoever can bear
60 degrees longest... wins.
If I win, we have a deal?
Yeah.
Well, then I'll leave right now.
I'll see you there.
I'm ready...
[laughs]
Wait a minute, Bjrn.
Why don't we go really extreme, huh?
Let's crank it up to -70. How about that?
-But why don't we...
-Mm?
Come on, let's hit the maximum.
Hm?
Bjrn? The maximum.
Whatever you want.
Minus 110.
[suspenseful music playing]
Three minutes.
Five minutes.
Ten minutes.
[Olli shuddering]
Just breathe, yeah that's good.
Whoa! That was really good.
Let's do that more often.
Go ahead, give it to him.
All right. That's good.
W-what the... h-how did she... do that?
Well, some women have
heightened blood circulation.
Something about their hormones.
So what about our deal?
It stands.
Thanks.
Little expensive for cold therapy.
Worth every cent.
Looks like we have everything.
Okay great. Time to hit the road.
[Schmitti, quiet] Olli!
Schmitti, what's happening?
Wanna grab a drink?
[Schmitti] I can't.
I'm under house arrest.
You got put on house arrest?
[Schmitti] Yeah, sorry, I can't talk
too loud. Antje is listening right now.
C'mon, would you speak up?
I can barely hear you, man.
[Schmitti] No, I can't, okay?
Antje is listening.
Hey, man, Schmitti,
are you in prison? Jesus!
I mean, it's worse. Prisoners go outdoors.
-[Schmitti] My hands are tied, man.
-Yeah. Yeah, understood. Forget it.
[sighs]
Come on, let's hit the maximum.
Okay, everyone, how we feeling today!?
[all cheer]
Yeah, super!
All right, guys, let's clap it out!
Good! Okay! Good! Okay, nice! Super!
Keep moving those arms, ladies!
[Olli, muffled] I knew it. Screw you!
Yeah! And four!
[soft music playing]
[seagull calling]
[electronic beep and whir]
[screams]
-[TV on in background]
-[Olli chuckles]
Olli? What's going on?
Ask Rebecca.
We had a deal, you moron.
The game was rigged!
Can someone please tell me
what's going on?
Olli agreed that I could
take you on this trip this weekend.
But to convince him, I had to last
longer in the cryo thing at -110.
Gimme a break!
Bjrn put it at -5 degrees for you,
that backstabbing meathead.
The deal's off!
Listen, I had planned for us
to do some SCUBA stuff this weekend,
but the doctor over here
made it clear she wouldn't have it.
So you were... competing over me?
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
Uh, wait a minute,
how did you get in here?
Bribed the maid.
I can be charming, okay?
You're an idiot.
And you're covering all this.
-[slurping]
-Didn't we schedule a body wrap?
Maybe you should do it with Olli.
I've been thinking about our trip
a lot more lately, man.
Good, glad to hear it.
Gotta get those flights booked.
Oh, I found
some really cheap ones to Bangkok.
That's not what I meant.
I've been talking about it
with Becky for a while now.
And she won't let you go.
Not at all!
She even said I should go for it
if it's my dream, I'm not kidding.
She's just not sure
if it'd be good for our relationship
for me to be gone that long, you know?
Goddammit! Of course!
You're gonna bail because of her.
How 'bout we compress the trip
down to four weeks?
Ugh!
Are you okay?
[Olli yells]
It's not a Disney World trip.
This could really change our lives, man.
I know that.
You wanna miss out on this opportunity?
You wanna keep working
that stupid job all day?
To buy some townhouse in suburbia
like Schmitti?
Dude, I don't know yet.
But I actually like that job, Olli, okay?
I'm sorry, Olli.
[melancholy music playing]
[aggressive rock music playing]
[phone pings]
[Schmitti] Hi, Olli. You said you wanted
to grab a beer sometime, right?
Antje is going to the movies tonight,
so I'll be free from eight to ten.
Let me know if that works, okay?
[engine accelerating]
-Olli!
-Explain how it's possible
-your girlfriends are brainwashing you!
-Calm down.
What's the matter with you, Olli?
Matze canceled our trip around the world.
[laughs] Hang on, you thought
you were still gonna do that?
Uh, yeah.
Olli, Matze has a woman in his life now.
I mean, he'd be stupid not to choose his
relationship over a year-long world tour.
That's your opinion.
The opinion of a guy
who calls his wife a cow's ass.
I was drunk.
It could be worse with Antje.
When we're alone, she's kinda nice.
"Kinda nice"?
Was that what you always hoped for?
Got someone better, hm?
It's not like women are lining up for me.
Besides, if Antje hadn't
pushed me so hard, I would never have...
made it to department supervisor.
And I wouldn't have wound up with...
a fancy office and view of the cathedral.
Seriously, man,
I'm really glad she's my wife.
So what about tonight?
Are we going out for a beer, then?
Nah, forget it. Probably better
to stay in and iron Antje's panties.
[gasps]
[aggressive rock music playing]
Olli! You can't be selfish in life!
Compromise is paramount.
What are you doing?
Leaving.
[Matze] Okay, why?
Because I'm done
getting screwed over here.
You're not even looking
for a new place for her, dude.
That's not true, man.
I showed Becky two places,
and neither felt right.
Two? Well! Man, that's tough.
You really want her outta here, don't you?
You're right, I... let
it slide for a while.
I thought the three of us would find
common ground and start getting along.
C'mon, you sure you wanna do this?
Yeah.
[melancholy music playing]
Okay.
Do you need help?
Not going fast enough?
Don't be so angry at Matze, okay?
It's understandable that he doesn't
want us to be apart for a full year.
Yeah, because it was
all his decision, right?
-Of course it was.
-[Olli laughs]
Okay, whatever, doctor.
Do you really think I'm as dumb as I look?
I know why you wanted to spend
a long weekend alone
with my best friend, alright?
And I also know that that whole
plumbing thing was a total excuse.
And the more I think about the situation,
I'd be a fool to just sit back
and let you win, so, uh...
Hello? Excuse me? Oh, I see.
That's too bad. Goodbye.
Bad luck, I guess.
My building manager told me
the unit I wanted isn't available anymore.
Oh, well.
I'll be staying.
So, your roommate just had
a chat with his right hand.
He's not planning on moving out.
Yeah, sorry, it didn't work out after all.
But it's not so bad.
We get to live together. Eh?
It's worked out well so far.
Worked out well? Are you serious?
Are you guys outta your mind?
For weeks, you've been acting like kids.
Either figure it out and grow up
or just ignore each other
and just move on.
Watch out, my friend.
[laughs]
'Watch out'? Becky can be so domineering.
Telling me where to look. Women.
["The Only One I Know"
by The Charlatans playing]
The only one I know
Has come to take me away
The only one I know
Is mine when she stitches me
The only one I see
Has found an aching in me
[screams]
The only one I see
[Olli screaming]
Has turned her tongue into me
Beautiful teeth.
Everyone has been burned before
CREATE AD FOR SALE
[machine] Jackpot!
[doorbell ringing]
The only one I know
Hello. For the pinball machine?
What now?
Look, I bought it for one euro.
Great deal.
The only one I know
Oh, whatever, man.
Hey! Open the door!
Bring it out here right now!
Ow! No! Hey! Hey!
Open the door! What's going on?
The only one I see
Is mine when she walks down the street
The only one I see
Has carved her way into me
Everyone has been burned before
Ah! Ah!
Fuck.
[groans]
Whoa!
Everyone
Oh my God, oh my God.
...burned before
Agh! Agh!
BEST BEFORE AUGUST 2008
Dammit. Ugh!
Ah!
-[popping]
-Ah! Ah!
What happened?
[melancholy music playing]
Uh, Olli had a sandwich issue.
[Olli] The sandwich press caught on fire.
I have no idea what happened, sorry.
Uh, maybe it was, um, a sign
that you and I should
think about finding a new place.
So, I have this patient,
she's a really sweet old lady,
and she's got this apartment.
She wants to rent it out.
She told me we'd be perfect.
So, what's she talking you into
this time, huh?
[Rebecca, muffled] Listen, I'm sorry about
what happened. I... didn't want any of this.
[Matze, muffled] Don't worry about it.
I'm just happy neither of you got hurt.
As for the place, well, to be honest,
my pride as a realtor is a little damaged
since you found it first...
but this unit looks awesome, Becky.
Yeah, I know!
I think we should just go for it.
Uh... There's one tiny little stipulation.
Just meet her once,
and she'll be glad to give her approval.
Okay. When and where?
Day after tomorrow.
Just meet her in the unit, that's all.
Day after tomorrow is your conference.
Uh, yeah, but it'll be fine.
I don't need to be there.
Just stop by, say a quick hello, and...
and then we have the apartment.
[rock music playing]
[Matze] Sounds good, Miss Akay.
See you later.
Hey, uh, I've been thinking about your
decision not to go on our trip anymore,
and well, um...
Well, I'm good with it. Yeah.
Nice of you to say.
Mm.
Man, you know,
I just wish I could do both.
Travel the globe with you
and get to be with Becky at the same time.
What if instead of a big world tour,
we uh... just changed it to a small one?
Here in the city.
A single night to make it happen.
What are you saying?
I'll surprise you.
I'll say this much,
we're starting in Bangkok.
Okay?
Great, yep.
CONFIRMATION
THANK YOU FOR PURCHASING TICKETS
-Hi, Becky.
-[Rebecca] Hey, are you busy?
No, all good.
Olli just pitched
a scaled-down version of our trip.
I wouldn't trust that.
It's all right.
He's trying to be nice, that's all.
Just don't forget,
you're meeting her tomorrow.
Don't worry, I'll remember.
I can't bail on this idea too, though.
He's already done all the legwork.
No, it's just tonight.
It's not gonna take long.
[Olli] Woohoo! This is a Mekong Sour.
[clinking]
Mm.
Mm. Fried grasshoppers are
a popular snack in Thailand.
Extremely protein-rich as well.
Hey, smile.
The Thai are very sensitive to manners.
Bottoms up.
Hm?
Mm. Mm.
We're leaving Thailand for now...
-Huh?
-and catching a flight to Siberia.
[wind whistling]
-Hey, uh...
-Uh...
Ah!
-Whoa. Oh, Jesus.
-Ugh...
Ah! Ah!
[Matze] Let's go back to a warm country.
[playing "La Bamba"]
[singing in Spanish]
[Olli] Hey!
In the real Acapulco,
we'd be on the beach now.
It would be so great
to go on a real journey around the world.
I'm glad you said that, dude.
Because actually...
[phone buzzing]
Hi, honey.
[Rebecca] Hey. Everything okay?
[Matze] All good. Yeah, uh...
we're in Marrakesh right now.
[Rebecca] How late you gonna be out?
Not much longer. Don't worry.
Don't forget the documents tomorrow, okay?
I won't forget.
I'll take care of it all.
[Rebecca] Good.
Sorry, I have to head in.
I'll text you later, okay?
All right, honey.
Hey. I love you.
I love you too.
I love you too.
Just one more, okay?
Yeah.
[dramatic ambient music playing]
[eagle screeching]
[Matze] Where are we now?
-Mongolia.
-[camel grunting]
The middle of the Gobi.
The desert Genghis Khan crossed.
[Matze] Cool.
-[Ollie laughing]
-[camel grunts]
[phone buzzes]
[Rebecca] Hey, we're done for the night.
Pretty beat, so I'm going to bed.
Where are you right now?
STILL IN MONGOLIA
I'LL CALL YOU IN THE MORNING
STILL IN MONGOLIA
I'LL CALL YOU IN THE MORNING
Welcome to Africa.
You get the snacks, I'll get the drinks.
["Bohemian Like You"
by The Dandy Warhols playing]
You've got a great car
Yeah, what's wrong with it today?
Healthy and delicious!
Dude, I want junk food, okay?
[woman laughing] Beautiful.
Seriously, I'm so excited.
[conversing indistinctly]
I'm not kidding, I'm gonna tell everyone
I know. Get ready for a spike in business.
So what do you do?
[Matze] Where to now?
The coast of Argentina.
But first we better get a little snack.
...on vegan food
Well, come over to my work
I'll have them cook you something
That you'll really love
'Cause I like you
Yeah, I like you
And I'm feeling so bohemian like you
Yeah, I like you
Yeah, I like you
And I feel
Whoa, whoo!
We're in Argentina!
[both] Whoo!
[song ends]
[caws]
Becky?
Welcome to Argentina.
Did you forget?
-You have location sharing turned on!
-[groans]
The apartment viewing was an hour ago.
And you look like a homeless guy!
[man] Hey, sweet cheeks!
Would you keep your voice down?
For God's sake, we're trying to sleep!
[Becky] I get it now.
You were never really
that interested in being with me.
My bad.
Wait! Becky... Becky. Becky.
It was a m... mistake.
I'm s-s-sorry.
[Olli laughing]
Dude, your hair. What the hell happened?
[Rebecca] Gotta be kidding.
Shit, no... Becky.
Becky.
Shit!
[sing-song] Fresh rolls!
[sighs]
What's going on?
She broke it off with me.
Really?
Uh...
"Unfortunately,
I've come to the realization
that you'll never grow up."
"I want a man, not some overgrown,
uh, chick... child."
Her handwriting is a disaster.
"I tried everything with you,
but apparently you're only happy
if you have Olli by your side."
Hm, she nailed that one at least.
"I hope you have a nice life with him."
I can't believe this.
Hm?
An around-the-world ticket?
I tapped into
our world tour account, Matze.
You got these tickets
before she dumped me,
what's the matter with you?
Unbelievable. You're not my friend.
Oh my God, you're an asshole!
Hey.
B... b... b... b... b... b... b...
Becky was the woman I'd been looking for.
And I was really happy.
Hey. That... that's temporary...
Hey. Relax.
I wanna pull out of our lease.
Does that mean you're dumping me?
Will you go, or should I?
Yeah, I'll leave.
Well, I'm out of here.
["I Miss You" by Blink 182 playing]
Hello there
The angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background
Of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim
Of darkness in the valley
-We can live like Jack and Sally
-Answer it.
If we want
Where you can always find me
We'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night
We'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends
[sobbing]
So... right this way.
As you can see,
you've got a spacious living area
and a dining room here.
The real heart of this unit,
though, is this gorgeous new...
What's that?
Uh... um...
We'll be moving that stuff.
DONE! YOUR AD IS ONLINE.
Where are you?
And I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody, and always
-[dings]
-This sick, strange darkness
Comes creeping on
So haunting every time
PIA93 BOUGHT THE "AROUND THE WORLD TICKET"
And as I stared I counted
The webs from all the spiders
Catching things
And eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
And hear your voice of treason...
Hey.
You owe me 24.90.
Ha. Why? It wasn't your book.
Yeah, but now
it can't be sold in the store.
AUSTRALIA
Holy shit, you must be Pia.
Does this look familiar?
You're Olli?
You put up the post for that ticket?
Yeah. You wanna travel the world then?
Well, I'm waiting for that 24.90 first.
I've been dreaming of doing
a trip around the world.
I feel like everyone says that,
but no one does it.
Then I knew as soon as I saw your ad for
the plane ticket... I'm gonna go for it.
-[laughs] Great.
-And you?
-Mm.
-Lemme guess, your girlfriend ran away
and now you have
an extra ticket to get rid of.
Not a girlfriend... uh, boyfriend.
Sorry, I assumed you were straight.
I am... well, for now.
But I'm trying to keep my options open.
Uh-huh. You must not do well with women.
[scoffs] What makes you think that?
Just a guess.
[laughs] Sorry.
Why'd your friend back outta the trip?
What happened?
Um... a woman ruined it.
[laughs]
[intriguing music playing]
Okay, let's hear it.
Oh, come on.
We might as well start getting acquainted
with each other now, don't you think?
We're gonna see each other
on planes all the time.
You're more of a Peter Pan type, huh?
You mean the little boy
in the green spandex?
Mmm. He wants to be a kid forever.
Yeah, but I'm an adult, and spoiler alert:
it hasn't been fun, it's disappointing.
Your friend obviously doesn't agree.
Why is that so hard for you?
Well, 'cause I'm not gonna...
[Pia] Oh, come on.
The fact is, you've kinda
lost sight of his wants
and your relationship in general.
Sounds like you've been
thinking about yourself.
Your friend's evolving, and now,
he's starting to have other concerns
outside of trip he's taking with you.
Not the first time I've heard that.
Mm. Sounds like you two need to make up.
Well, see you at the airport.
-Uh-huh.
-Thanks for the coffee.
Uh, yeah.
[footsteps receding]
-[Pia] Bye.
-[woman] See ya.
["Achterbahn" by Clueso playing]
They're renovating the building.
[singer singing in German]
Can you gimme a sec?
Hey, do you have...
I'm just, um...
Hey.
Okay. Cool.
[song continues]
[indistinct dialog]
Rebecca? Hey! Hey, wait a sec!
Rebecca!
Hey, just one second, okay? Can we talk?
[screaming]
[coughing and retching]
[Olli yelling in pain]
[song continues]
Mister... Pan?
Yeah.
Please.
Mm.
-Take a seat.
-Okay.
-All right...
-Oh. Uh...
[woman] There we go.
-The doctor will be right with you.
-Mm-hmm.
Mr. Peter Pan?
That's what it says.
-[laughs] Wow.
-[laughs]
Hello, Mr. Pan.
So it looks like this is
your first time with us, right?
What seems to be the trouble? Hm?
What do you want?
Five minutes to talk.
I don't care, Olli.
And what's with the stupid name?
You wouldn't've seen me otherwise.
Had to be done.
Well, I'm not talking to you. Now get out!
You're being unfair to Matze.
-Hey...
-[door opens]
Okay. We're all set. Hm?
-[machine whirring]
-Let's get started, Peter.
What? No, no. That's not necessary.
My pain just disappeared, it's a miracle.
Yeah, people say that a lot.
Just trust me, Mr. Pan,
you'll be a lot better off
if I examine you.
[mischievous music playing]
Ah... Ah!
Ah!
[Olli grunting]
Ah... Ah! Ah! Ah!
Decay on 4-8. The doctor will
give you a shot, you won't feel a thing.
-No, Mr. Pan's very tough.
-Huh?
He said he doesn't need anesthesia,
and I'm happy to oblige him.
[Olli] Eh? Uh, uh...
[air hissing]
[whirring]
Ah, ah...
[Olli yelling]
[Olli screaming]
Mom, I don't wanna go in there.
Please don't make me.
[screaming and crying]
[panting and whimpering]
[Rebecca] All righty.
[Olli moans]
Drink some water.
[groans]
[whimpering]
You can go, Michelle.
I'm good with this one.
[Olli groans]
[door closes]
So I'm being unfair here, really?
Matze had a bunch of opportunities
to move in with me,
and he fucked up every time.
It was my fault though.
I talked him out of it over and over.
Well, he wouldn't have even listened
if he was serious about us.
And he wouldn't have put his friend
above me and our future.
He's not, otherwise he would never
have kicked me out of our place!
-Really?
-Yeah.
I'm outta there.
Besides, I'm going on the world tour soon.
[soft music playing]
Give him another chance.
Matze misses you a lot. I mean it.
Olli?
Uh... you did have a cavity in your molar.
Cool.
[groans]
[man] Oh, hello. Excuse me, sir.
Miss Richthoff. Here. Take a look.
You'll be interested, I think.
Well, everyone should be interested
that the new
intra-oral scanner has arrived.
At last.
Miss Richthoff?
I'm sorry, I need time to think.
Miss Kaminski? Here. Look.
I believe this will be of interest to you.
TROUBLE WITH HAUKE. CAN WE MEET?
[gentle music continues]
[vibrates]
HEY MATZE, WANT TO GRAB A BITE TO EAT?
[sighs]
[sighs]
Hi.
Hey.
I... uh, I'm meeting Schmitti for a bite.
Yeah, meeting Moni.
Okay.
Have you ever eaten with Schmitti here?
No, it's the first time.
And I've never met Moni here.
Yeah, my guess is Olli's responsible.
What makes you so sure?
Well, he was my patient this morning.
He told me you finally kicked him out.
He didn't grill you about it
or anything, did he?
Not at all. It was the reverse, he...
took your side, actually.
He was committed.
So much so that he... got
some serious treatment without anesthesia.
We talking about the same Olli?
[soft music playing]
Somehow he managed
to arrange this meeting.
[waiter] Afternoon, guys.
What can I get you?
I think we maybe need a moment.
No problem.
Maybe we should decide.
So now you're living there
all by yourself?
Yep.
And you?
Still hoping for a new place?
I have one in mind.
There's a whole lot of room for you.
Although the kitchen has
severe fire damage somehow.
I wanna cover all the repairs, okay?
No way.
Look, please, just... please.
It would make me feel better.
What do you mean?
It's a long story.
I promise I'll tell you later.
I'm just so happy
we have each other again.
[emotional music playing]
-Morning.
-[man] Hello.
[woman] Hi, Matze.
I SOLD YOUR TICKET. OLLI
Where's Olli's stuff?
Hello to you, Matze.
Why ask me about it?
Oh no.
Did Batman and Robin go to splitsville?
Listen, your friend quit so he could
go on his round the world vision quest.
But it seems like
you came to your senses, right?
I don't blame you.
That kinda trip wouldn't be for me either.
Living out of a backpack,
staying in cheap hostels,
never showering... Ugh!
Uh, oh... so Holloscheck from
our luxury properties division is leaving.
That'd be a good position for you.
Larger commissions, better salary,
but a lot of hard work too.
You can think about it.
I'm good, actually.
I accept the offer. Thank you.
Uh... you have any idea
when Olli's flying out?
Um... I think this morning?
["Lucky Man" by The Verve playing]
Hey, it's Olli. Sorry,
I'm just trying to find my phone.
Shit.
Happiness, more or less
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Oh, my, my
Happiness, coming and going...
-Sorry, could you do me a favor, please?
-First of all, you need to get in line.
Uh, uh... I... I-I'm trying to find s-s...
Hey! No cutting in line!
Olli!
Hey.
What, did you change your mind?
No ticket for you, sorry.
Becky told me
you went to make things right.
Oh, so my matchmaking was a success?
It all worked out, we're good.
Is that true... for us too? I hope it is.
Thanks for being a great friend.
[woman over PA] Final boarding call
for flight TH8431 with service to Bangkok.
So, this is it. It's happening.
Passengers please proceed...
Yeah. Guess I better
camp under the Northern Lights.
Otherwise, all that cold training
will go to waste.
[laughing]
[Pia whistles sharply]
Who's that?
Um, Pia. She took your ticket, man.
My buddy Matze! All is forgiven!
Amazing! Come on!
-Yeah, I should...
-All right, then.
How many corners do I have to turn?
It's crazy. I think the longest
we've been away from each other
was in elementary school
when we'd get three days for Christmas.
That's true. The year will fly by though.
Yeah, you're right.
Yeah but, uh,
a year can feel like an eternity too.
Yeah, that's true.
[Pia whistles]
Okay, take care.
You too.
[song continues]
Happiness, more or less
Is just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Happiness, coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing on
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my
[song ends]
Eyyy!
Oh, stop.
What happened, you two?
I mean, well, I proposed and she said yes.
Okay, right what happened exactly?
'Cause, Olli, I know getting married
wasn't on the top of your list, right?
Well, we were hanging out
by this super cold lake in Iceland,
with incredible views
of the Northern Lights,
and we're standing in a long line
to rent some wetsuits,
and I look over and suddenly Pia says,
"Screw wetsuits!"
And jumps into the lake
without batting an eye.
I mean, obviously
I had to marry that woman, right?
[all laughing]
I only married him to shield you guys
from further torture.
Oh. Thanks a lot. That's sweet.
And, um, yeah, congratulations,
Olli's not an easy adversary.
God!
Oh, one more thing. Bali is amazing.
-Take some time off and come out here!
-Yeah.
Matze, Becky.
-Ciao!
-Cheers.
Ciao.
Oh, sweet.
[doorbell rings]
[man] Hey, Matze.
It's... It's Schmitti.
Antje found his secret weed stash
-and kicked him outta the house.
-Oh.
He's asking if our apartment has
an extra room, so he can stay here.
Hey, Becky.
Yeah, I'll grab Olli's bed.
Must be you.
Always end up in a three-way relationship.
["You Get What You Give" playing]
[both laughing]
One, two, one, two, three, ow!
Wake up, kids
We got the dreamers' disease
Age 14
They got you down on your knees
So polite
We're busy still saying please
Frienemies
Who when you're down ain't your friend
Every night
We smash a Mercedes-Benz
First we run
And then we laugh 'til we cry
But when the night is falling
-You cannot find the light
-Light
You feel your dreams are dying
Hold tight
You've got the music in you
Don't let go
You've got the music in you
One dance left
This world is gonna pull through
Don't give up
You've got a reason to live...
[intriguing indie rock playing]
[music softens]
[music swells]
[music softens]
[music fades out]
["You Get What You Give"
by the New Radicals playing]
[man] They say that childhood is
the best time to build new friendships.
That's me: Olli.
Hey, kick it right over here!
[Olli] Eight years old and already one of
the coolest, most likable guys around.
Problem was, no one had noticed it yet.
No wonder you always get picked last!
[Olli] But then, suddenly,
Matze wound up in my class.
Okay, guys, let's meet
our new classmate here, Matthias.
Tell us a little about yourself.
Do you have any hobbies?
[stuttering] I like to play soccer.
[students laughing]
[teacher] Enough.
I don't see what's so funny.
Matthias, please sit over there.
So, let's continue
with different types of sentences.
For example...
Uh, hey, I'm Olli.
-[teacher] "Where is my pen?"
-M-M-Matze.
So you play soccer, right?
Oliver, stop bothering Matthias
or I'll have to move him to another desk.
He-He didn't... I...
I... just asked him a question.
He-he-he he-he didn't do anything wrong,
he-he-he was just answering.
[Olli] That was it. That moment was
the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
-[school bell rings]
-You got the music in you
Don't let go
You got the music in you
-4 a.m., we ran a miracle mile
-[swan honking]
We're flat broke
-[skateboard wheels rolling]
-But hey, we do it in style
The bad rich
God's flying in for your trial
Ha-ha-ha
MY BEST FRIEND, HIS GIRLFRIEND AND ME
You cannot find a friend
-[engine revving]
-Friend
You feel your tree is breaking
Just bend
[cheering]
You got the music in you
Don't let go
You got the music in you
I was trying to be a good guy, you know?
-[chatting continues]
-This world is gonna pull through
Don't give up
You've got a reason to live
[Matze] Good news.
I found the perfect apartment
for you and your cat.
That's right, ground floor.
Yup, great. I'll pick you up.
Hey, come here.
[intriguing music playing]
[Matze] Where is that?
Zanzibar. Island off Tanzania.
[Matze] That has to go on the list.
Well, that's fascinating.
I wasn't aware that luxury bamboo huts
were part of our listing portfolio.
[Olli clears throat]
Supposed to be working, right?
[stuttering] Yeah, I...
The flat on M-Molke Street, I closed it.
[boss] Mm-hmm.
How about you? You just been
planning your trip around the world?
I... brought you
your favorite little special something.
[boss] Ah.
I don't know what's more impressive to me,
your perfect timing,
your ability to finish work
and get out the door right on the dot...
Mm! Or your very clever career planning.
I mean, who doesn't take a year off
in their early thirties?
By the way, the Mlheim apartment
has a scheduled viewing,
only the person won't be there
till seven tonight. Here's the address.
Seven? I'm off the clock.
I know, it compensates
for the time you spent just now
making plans for your midlife crisis.
Oh, and you better not put this
on your expense report, Olli.
Would it kill the Empress
to give me a compliment?
That apartment on Molke Street
was a tough one.
You mind... taking care of this, Matze?
I need to run and get
Schmitti's birthday present.
I thought we were getting Schmitti
wine from the gas station.
I came up with something else.
[upbeat rock music playing]
-[Matze] This is it. Looks nice.
-[Olli] Wow, an actual adult house.
[ringing]
[both] Happy Birthday, Schmitti!
Shh! Don't!
It's been over two hours!
Everybody's done eating!
C'mon, we're not mad, it's no big deal.
For you. You know,
now that you're a homeowner.
Right, thanks. Listen up, okay?
Behave yourselves.
This isn't some rager,
I don't want a bunch of police at my door.
Hard enough
to convince Antje to invite you.
Really? It's your birthday.
That was the only reason she let me.
Wait, wait, wait. Hold on.
Put these on first, okay?
[soft music playing in background]
It's a trendy shade of gray right now.
It's a mix of slab and granite.
[plastic crinkling]
Oh, don't let us interrupt.
I was hoping you'd be
on your world tour already.
Not for another two months.
Mmm.
-Great place, Schmitti.
-[Schmitti] Thank you.
Didn't know you made this much
in the pan department.
Household wares. And I'm not a salesman
anymore, I'm a sales manager now.
Wow, since when?
-For the last one or two years.
-Schmitti, good call on the bidet.
Yeah, yeah, but it's not quite...
Yes... [gasps]
-[bidet whirs]
-[water bubbling]
[upbeat rock continues]
[woman] The place is
beautifully decorated, Antje.
Thank you. It was all a team effort.
Right, babe?
Oh, yeah. Definitely, yep.
Huh. So this is your room, Schmitti?
Oh my God, Antje?
Wait, you're pregnant? [gasps] Since when?
Not quite yet. [chuckles]
But I bet we'll be first.
You guys are all too scared.
[Olli] Uh, not so fast there, Antje.
[Matze] Olli is, uh,
already at seven months.
Third trimester. I'm always so hungry.
Have to eat for two now.
Leftovers are downstairs.
[Matze] Mm.
[Olli] Oh, dude! Got himself a smart home.
[Matze] Huh.
[Olli] Oh.
What does this do?
[Olli] No idea.
[rapid beeping]
[alarm blaring]
The hell happened?
Nothing, just... pressed the screen.
-That's the alarm, you idiot!
-My bad.
[Schmitti] Shoot...
-Ralf, turn the alarm off already!
-I know.
You don't know the code?
You installed this thing!
Yeah, but it's still not set up yet.
Find the manual, turn it off! Go!
[Schmitti grunts]
Ow... Yep, all good!
[alarm continues]
[rings]
Hey, honey, uh, these two were outside.
I guess the neighbors
called the police for us.
-Find the instructions?
-Not yet.
-Then go get it!
-Okay.
-[grunts]
-[annoyed exhale]
All good, thank you.
-[Antje] I'm really sorry about this.
-Can I give it a go?
Yes, go ahead, take a look.
-[alarm stops]
-[sighs]
Thank you.
The code is 1-2-3-4,
like most factory settings.
It reeks of cannabis.
Pff! That's impossible, officer.
[people gasping and murmuring]
[officer] What a specimen.
Hey, no need to be embarrassed.
We've all been known to smoke
a little ganja after a long day.
[Schmitti] Found it!
[feet squeaking]
Hoo.
[clears throat]
You got him an enormous weed plant?
What's wrong with you guys?
What were you thinking?
He doesn't do that anymore.
You might as well be preteen delinquents,
and I don't wanna see you
around Ralf again.
Out!
You better take off, guys.
Hm.
[Olli] Ugh... Schmitti's parties
used to be cooler.
[Matze] Yeah, he's changed so much.
A year ago he was still a huge stoner.
[Olli] Pff. And now he has a townhouse
with an ass shower. Thanks to Antje.
Don't you think
some part of him actually wants this?
No self-respecting man
would live like that.
The guy just missed his opportunity
to escape that relationship. That's all.
[Matze] Well, it's none of our business.
We'll be shipping out soon anyway.
[bottle opens]
[Olli] Mm.
Here's to our world tour.
To the best time of our lives.
[Olli] Mmm.
-[Matze] Great layout, right?
-[woman] Wow.
The previous tenant
even left some furniture here,
in case you can make use of it.
[woman] Wow.
I could have it right away?
Of course.
[laughs] Perfect.
I'm desperate to move,
I share an apartment.
Having roommate problems?
It's not that.
My roommate's incredible.
But, unfortunately, her boyfriend isn't.
-He practically lives with us now.
-Got it.
Pees on the top of the seat,
eats all your snacks.
It's worse. He's clingy.
She and I can barely hang out anymore
without him getting in the way.
Plus, lately he likes to talk about
having kids with her
while I'm sitting right there,
so I thought, better get outta there
before they kick me to the curb.
[romantic music playing]
[both laughing]
Um... be honest,
do you think I'll get the apartment?
You can sign for it right now.
Really?
Uh, wow.
S-s-s-stop.
Uh...
[stuttering] I should probably
tell you something, just before you sign.
What is it?
[stuttering] The...
-Wait a second.
-The apartment...
Uh... I had a stutter as a child.
Trust me, there's a really simple trick.
Just try whispering the words into...
into my ear like this, okay?
[whispering] Th-this unit ha-has mold.
I felt like I had to say something.
Why show me this unit then?
I...
[stuttering] I wasn't...
[softly] I didn't know
I'd like you this much, to be honest.
Well, perfect timing.
I'm lucky you finally had that epiphany.
You owe me for this.
I'll, um... find you a terrific
new apartment as fast as I can.
I ha-have something in mind already.
That too.
I was also thinking
we could get some dinner.
Tonight?
It won't be dinner
if we wait to eat 'til tomorrow morning.
[door opens]
-What's up?
-[door closes]
The gym next to the grocery store
just got two cryotherapy chambers.
Perfect for Iceland, we gotta be ready...
Olli, this is Rebecca.
She viewed one of our units today.
[laughs]
Hi, it's a pleasure.
Hey.
Your bathroom, is it uh, over...?
Oh, uh, over there on the right.
Okay.
A client?
Oh, dude.
She's amazing.
Totally laid back and super sweet.
And she's gonna be a dentist,
so she's got a great career too.
We just had a lovely dinner.
Now we're going for a drink.
Okay.
Come get a beer with us.
You can get better acquainted.
Dude, what's the point
in getting to know her?
We're gonna be gone in a few weeks.
[Olli clears throat]
Wow, your apartment is so charming.
[Olli] Mm.
So huge. [laughs]
That's the route
for our around-the-world trip.
Did Matze mention
we'll be leaving for a year pretty soon?
Yeah, yeah, he did.
I did a trip like that before college.
-[Matze] Oh really?
-Yeah, I did...
two months in Australia and New Zealand,
then I spent another month in Thailand.
[laughing]
Three months? Are you serious?
That's hardly a world tour.
You gotta set foot on every continent
at the very least.
Okay. [laughs]
Okay, how 'bout that drink?
-Yeah.
-[Olli] Where we going?
What's wrong, dude?
A minute ago,
you asked me if I wanted to come.
True. I did.
Well then, let's go!
I'm going stir-crazy in here by myself.
["Happy" by Pharrell Williams playing]
It might seem crazy
What I'm 'bout to say
-Hi, Olli.
-Hey.
Hey.
[Rebecca] Good! No, really. I'm impressed.
[Matze] Check this out.
Gonna blow your mind.
...balloon that could go to space
With the air, like I don't care
Baby, by the way
That's my favorite. Blueberries.
-They seemed gross as a kid.
-[song continues]
Oh, look. Morning, sunshine.
Hey, do you want a little?
'Because I'm happy
Clap along if you feel
That happiness is the truth
'Because I'm happy
Clap along if you know
What happiness is to you
[screaming]
Hey! Hey, I'm in the shower,
turn off the sink!
Sorry!
Here come bad news
Talking this and that
-[Rebecca] Yeah.
-[Matze] I know.
Right? It couldn't hurt.
You know, to go jogging again sometime.
Fine. I'll tag along. Hey.
Hey!
I should probably warn you
-I'll be just fine
-Gotcha.
Come on!
No offense to you
Don't waste your time
Here's why
Because I'm happy
Clap along if you feel
Like a room without a roof
[Matze] Are you sure?
[Rebecca] Trust me.
You're gonna look amazing.
...like happiness is the truth
Because I'm happy
-See? That's perfect.
-That one.
Oh, wait.
[exhales]
Okay.
Perfect. That looks great.
MEXICO AND THE DA DE LOS MUERTOS
[Matze] Did you ask
if they have a spot for us?
Matze.
-...bring me down
-Rebecca.
-Yeah. Oh yeah, for sure.
-Bring me down, can't nothin'
Bring me down
I said I tell you now, uh!
Bring me down, can't nothin'
[humming]
MEXICO
DISCOVER THE COUNTRY AND ITS PEOPLE
[intriguing music playing]
[continues humming]
[imitating Antje] Ralf!
Uh... Is, uh... is Antje here or what?
Ya know, that was
a stupid thing to do the other day.
-I can't betray Antje for you two.
-Ah, spare me.
Wait, man, why'd you just
put a muffin in your jacket?
Oh, fuck. Uh, Antje's been dieting,
I'm supposed to support her. Hold this.
[plastic rustling]
Shit, she can't know
I was eating chocolate.
[rubbing fabric]
Yeah, relationships are
about compromise, you know?
[scoffs] A compromise is
screwing the cap on the toothpaste.
I mean, you're giving up your whole
personality, for chrissakes. Ugh.
With you, I'm not shocked. But I didn't
think Matze would fall into this trap.
-How much will it take for him to realize...
-What happened?
It's his new girlfriend,
the poor man is just brainwashed.
Like, he actually started dieting,
now he's going jogging!
No time for me anymore. Geez!
Well yeah, it's a lost cause
competing with a girl.
[scoffs]
She's been planning a party
for a few days.
She aced some stupid dentist test.
Apparently we're hosting!
Come out for it.
Antje won't let me go to yours.
Ugh! She doesn't have to know
you're coming to the party. Hm?
We'll see.
-[lively music playing]
-[party chatter]
Yeah, so, we actually went
to the same school.
-Um, and we go back a ways. Yeah.
-Okay, interesting.
Excuse me, a teeny tiny second.
That's Moni, my roommate.
-Ah.
-Sorry.
Excuse me.
-[clears throat]
-[Moni] Hey!
[Rebecca] Moni.
-Hello.
-Matze.
-Hey, nice to meet you.
-Likewise.
So where's your Siamese twin, huh?
Hauke can't be here tonight,
-he caught a bad case of the flu.
-Hmm.
-I told him to call if he needs anything.
-[phone buzzes]
Oops, guess who it is.
Hey, my sweet little snuggle bunny.
-What's going on?
-[Hauke coughs] I have really bad chills.
And the fever's back and it's worse
than before, it's already at 99.2.
-I'm dying here. I can't do this.
-Hauke, hey, so glad you called actually,
because I just read a major study
that said the use of mobile devices can
exacerbate the flu in certain cases, okay?
Grab some aspirin and stay in bed.
Hey, get well soon. Ciao!
I'll grab you a drink.
Yeah, thanks.
-Where did you tell Antje you were going?
-I didn't.
I waited for her to leave for the movies
with a bunch of friends of hers.
I can't be out past ten o'clock.
Really? That's only an hour.
Well, that's my life.
It takes me a full 50 minutes to get home.
-Suburbia is overrated.
-Mm.
Oh, uh... your plant's upstairs, ya know.
Yeah, so? I quit that stuff.
So, um... you can watch me smoke. Hm?
Come on.
Okay, but I won't touch it.
[lighter flicks]
[inhaling]
[coughing]
[Olli laughs]
-Rebecca? Um...
-[doorbell rings]
Alonso's here, at the door.
My boss is here.
Your boss got an invite?
Yeah, I told him just to be polite.
I didn't think he'd actually show up.
Hello!
Miss Richthoff.
I brought a little gift
for you this evening.
Do you like wine?
Forgive the ridiculous question.
Of course you like it.
I can't think of anybody who doesn't.
It's wonderful.
And that means Mr. Dommel
from the Pfaffenbeck winery
is certainly in good company.
Okay, Mr. Dommel.
Good evening, hello.
-Hello.
-Right.
Don't you think a wine tasting
would add something special tonight,
a whiff of refinement, perhaps?
Of course you do.
Everybody loves wine at a party.
Mr., uh, Dommel, go on.
[uncertain laugh]
Hey, is peeing still okay up here?
Yeah.
Who just randomly sends
a wine-tasting pop-up to a party
with a whole winemaker thrown in?
Uh, well,
would a magician have been better?
We could hire one
to make the wine guy disappear.
I'll show Mr. Dommel where he can set up,
and we'll, uh... be fine, okay?
Okay, I'll get my boss squared away.
Thank you.
Miss Richthoff, do you have a private area
where I could make a quick phone call?
Um, yeah, absolutely, I'll show you.
-[sighs]
-[urine splashing]
[Rebecca] Okay, here we are.
You can definitely...
-Thank you.
-take your phone call out here.
[tense music playing]
Oh, sorry.
[laughing]
Uh...
I'd recommend a prostate exam.
Your stream looks
awfully feeble and inconsistent.
Uh, um... maybe we should find
a different place, somewhere downstairs.
[both laughing]
-He walked right into the splash zone!
-I got his shoes!
Hope they're moisture-wicking.
[laughing]
Thanks a lot. I work for him.
Wow, hey, cool boss.
How come you didn't introduce us?
Hey. Uh, do me a favor, okay?
Please stay up here for tonight. Thanks.
-She must be nuts.
-[door closes]
This is my house, dude!
-Your place is killer.
-Matze?
That guy Schmitti
just took a leak on my boss's shoes.
-What?
-He and Olli are smoking weed out there.
I thought Schmitti didn't smoke anymore.
Huh? That's not the issue here.
What did Alonso say after that?
[sighs] That I have an interesting
circle of friends in my life.
Seems like you missed
an opportunity to tell him
that homeless guys sneak up there
every now and then.
Good idea, but it's a bit too late, Matze.
I told them that they should
probably stay upstairs tonight.
Oh, boy.
You may have just lit a fuse in Olli.
["Here Comes the Hotstepper"
by Ini Kamoze playing]
Na, na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na
Na-na-na, na-na-na, na-na-na-na
-Here comes the hotstepper
-Murderer
-I'm the lyrical gangster
-Murderer
-Big up di crew ina di area
-Murderer
-Still love you like that
-Murderer
I'll make sure
they don't do something dumb.
Yes, we multiply
Anyone press will hear
The fat lady sing
Act like you know, RICO
I know what Bo don't know
Touch them up and go, uh-oh!
Ch-ch-chang, chang
-Here comes the hotstepper
-Murderer
-I'm the lyrical gangster
-Murderer
-Excuse me, Mr. Officer
-Murderer
-Still love you like that
-Murderer
All right. I believe I'm all set.
-Just a sec...
-He'll hook you up.
[clinking]
Hey, you guys! Um, this is, um, Mr. Dommel
from a winery called, um, Pfaffenbeck.
And tonight he's here to introduce you
to the, uh, wonderful world of winemaking.
-Right? Uh, perfect.
-Yeah.
Thanks a lot and let's have some fun!
All right, well, how
'bout we dive in? Uh...
The important thing here,
as with any natural product,
is the quality
of the source materials and ingredients.
At Pfaffenbeck we use organic grapes,
uh, grown responsibly.
And for our toast we use
free-range white bread, folks!
[uncomfortable laughter and murmuring]
Right, so we don't use any pesticides
or any fungicides or any herbicides.
Oh, and our sandwiches are guaranteed
vitamin and nutrient free.
Olli, don't.
[Dommel] There are many elaborate
and protracted steps in between,
from harvesting the fresh berries
to... bottling the product and selling it.
[Olli] If you get carried away
with a bottle
and you need to sober up, we recommend...
-sandwiches.
-Sandwiches.
[laughter]
Why don't I open a bottle right now, huh?
Pew-pew-pew-pew-pew-pew-pew!
Rebecca, do you think
you could take care of the disruption?
I'd be very grateful.
Everyone would be very grateful.
Yes, I'm on it, of course.
Thank you.
-Sound good?
-Umm. Mm-hmm.
Olli. That's enough.
-Hey stop. That's mine!
-Stop.
-Goddammit, that's enough, okay?
-Hey. Give me...
I said stop it!
-[Olli grunts]
-[Rebecca] Oh!
[people gasp]
Don't panic! No big deal.
She's still intact!
Sandwiches all around!
[Schmitti] Yeah! Whoo!
C'mon!
It's okay.
When were you going to step in?
When he's swinging from the ceiling
or when he sets the place on fire?
I'm sorry, okay?
Olli can be a menace
when he's been drinking.
Trust me, he doesn't mean you harm.
Oh, cool. It changes everything
if he's not doing it on purpose.
We'll get this back under control.
Okay! Welcome to the best game ever.
Each player has to have
extremely strong nerves.
-Hold up, hang on, don't turn it over.
-Oh.
Hurry up. We're all waiting here.
Okay, so this is a game my dear friend
Matze and I created from scratch,
after many weeks of contemplation.
-The legendary...
-[drumming]
Dookie Quartet.
-[Schmitti] Get ready.
-Okay, look at your cards. Mm?
[people exclaiming]
Holy moly! That's a real whopper.
And so symmetrical.
Thanks. It's mine.
I haven't seen a pile of crap like that
since my college dorm days.
Mine tend to be more like potato soup now.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
I made that after Matze and I
went on that all-bean diet.
-No kidding.
-[people gasp]
Moni! Hey.
Hey.
-Can you get up?
-Uh, yeah.
-[Schmitti] Nice.
-Yeah.
-Up you go.
-Time for a shot.
[Dommel] I still have to drive.
Let's go sit down. Here. Hey. Look at me.
Are you okay?
Uh, yeah...
You can go, it's all right.
Hm. So this basically works
like normal Quartet, or...?
You outta your mind, dude?
Calm down.
Next round we'll let you play.
As I was saying,
like in a normal game of Quartet,
the highest value wins.
As for toilet paper,
do your best to get rid of it.
And the "stink factor"?
Maximizes your points.
But stinking is usually negative, right?
Eh, not when you're dealing with turds.
All right, I'm, uh,
going for artistic value, 8.5.
-The pretzel.
-The pretzel.
You're not sick. You need water.
-Stay here.
-Sorry, Becky,
uh, do you need anything?
-Yeah, water for Moni. No, it's okay.
-I can get it. Right?
[man] Wow... never seen one like that.
What's so entertaining over here?
We're playing Dookie Quartet.
This is Matze's masterpiece.
We don't stand a chance
against the pretzel.
On that note, I have to go.
Thank you all
for such an interesting evening.
Uh, I'm sorry, Dr. Alonso...
Please, don't be sorry.
I love looking at high-quality photos
of fecal artwork.
Two or three are pretty alarming.
Consider seeing a specialist
or eating more fiber. Have a nice evening.
Shit. Wait, sir!
Oh! Here's to driving!
[Rebecca] Dr. Alonso!
See you Monday.
Sh...
I'm so sorry about this.
Tonight was supposed to be
a nice, calm evening
with my new colleagues, you understand?
Instead, my boss saw
your "greatest shits".
Which means that I saw your shit.
And everyone here saw your shit too!
It was a shitty party.
["Sugar on Your Tongue" by Silver playing]
[door slams]
Make me say ah
La, la-la-la
Make me say ah
La, la-la-la
Ah
La, la-la-la
Make me say ah
La, la-la-la
[phone vibrating]
[phone continues vibrating]
Holy shit! Oh, fuck!
283 MISSED CALLS
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Antje tried to call me 283 times.
[Olli groans]
The first time, you let the phone ring.
Then you just ignored it
and put it on mute.
What? You should've told me to answer!
I did, but you yelled,
"I don't wanna leave yet."
"I wish that nag would leave me alone."
What? Oh, shit.
Oh, dammit.
Idiot. Screw you.
[door closes]
That poor guy.
[running footsteps receding]
-[man groaning]
-[distant door slams]
[groaning continues]
Oh my God. Was it as good for you
as it was for me? Hm?
-You're such an idiot.
-[Olli laughs]
Ugh... Ow, my head's exploding.
That's what happens when you eat healthy.
You get a weak stomach.
How come you're in my bed?
Becky just wanted some peace.
[Olli scoffs]
[grunts and exhales]
[both grunting and groaning]
-[Olli] Ugh.
-Look, man, what was that last night?
It was Becky's night,
and you completely ruined it.
Uh, what? How so?
It was an amazing party.
Dookie Quartet was a big hit, just saying.
[Matze] Oh shit.
That explains
Becky's freak-out last night.
Hey, listen, you should get back
to finding her an apartment.
She's here way too much, man.
[exhales]
Well, I'm gonna go sit upstairs in the sun
and have a little hair-of-the-dog.
You can join me later.
[metallic scraping]
Ugh.
Hi.
Just wanted to... say I'm sorry again.
Don't talk to me right now.
Okay, I'll just be here.
Look, Matze, we need to talk.
Do you have any idea how annoying this is?
I live in your apartment because
Hauke and Moni are driving me crazy,
and now I'm stuck
in that exact situation, but with Olli.
I can't do these three-way relationships,
you know?
Olli is way cooler than Hauke.
Okay, that's not the point I'm making.
[sighs]
C'mon, we need to solve this.
I can't... just, like,
force Olli to move out, though.
Uh, right, that's not...
Of course not, but...
you could leave anytime.
Uh... what I mean is,
Right now we're looking for a place
that's... that's, you know, just for me.
Matze.
With most other men,
any mention of... of moving in together...
[emotional music playing]
would've made me have a panic attack,
but not with you.
Uh, sorry, was there
a compliment in there at all?
[laughs]
Okay, so?
Do you wanna shack up?
Uh, if you, um, you know...
think you'd be interested.
Yeah.
We're getting an apartment. [laughs]
-C'mere.
-Oh.
[both laugh]
[tense music playing]
I... have to... break the news
to Olli somehow, I guess.
You go tell him now...
and I'll keep cleaning up.
Ugh.
Ugh...
[tense, suspenseful music playing]
Pfft.
I spoke to Becky about our little problem.
Mm. Excellent.
She can see us
living in an apartment of our own.
[scoffs] Oh please, you've already got me.
Tough luck for her.
Tryna tell me something?
We're looking for our own place.
Dammit, Becky's just like Antje!
That's ridiculous.
Did you already forget?
You weren't allowed
to sleep in your own bed last night.
Once you live together, she'll start
carrying your nuts in her purse.
You think she'll
let our trip go forward, huh?
Yeah, of course!
I wouldn't be so sure, my friend.
If you give a woman your pinky,
she'll come back for the whole man.
That's how it was with Schmitti
and all our other friends.
At first, they're smitten
with their new woman.
But now none of them have a spine
or any say in the most important parts
of their lives.
[humorous, intriguing music playing]
She destroyed Dookie Quartet, Olli.
What?
Even the pretzel?
You'll never get
that shape again, brother!
Off to do some yoga.
Eh... So? You tell him about our talk?
[Rebecca] What did he say?
[Matze] So, I thought it over.
For me, the trip around the world
comes first.
And, uh... we'll move in together
when I get back.
There's no rush.
And I'll help you
with the Moni and Hauke situation.
I'm sure we can find you a nice apartment.
You're right.
Maybe this isn't the best time.
I'll be at the gym, okay?
[woman] We align our spines by stretching
the crown of our head towards the sky.
Drop those shoulders,
let them rise away from the ears.
Becky, this isn't a negative thing.
Wanting to wait a bit longer doesn't mean
he's not the right guy, you know that.
He's in love with you, Becky.
Why is he going along
with being manipulated?
His heart is too big.
Yeah, but that's what makes you like him.
Sure, but then he should
treat me like that, not that moron Olli.
Faces into a nice little grin.
It's like, finally I end up with a guy
that... thinks like I do, ya know?
I can be funny and enjoy myself
and... and be authentic.
And then his best friend is...
such a douchebag.
And we're calming
down, we're letting go...
And for today's breathing meditation,
Nadi Shodhana,
let's close the right nostril with
our right thumb, inhale through the left...
[strained inhaling]
Close. Hold.
-Exhale through the right.
-[exhaling]
Close. Open and exhale.
I won't give up, not a chance.
I'm not letting some numbskull
steal my dream man.
We're not chatting over coffee right now.
We're here to decompress and breathe.
It worked. I'm so decompressed.
Excuse me... gotta win my boyfriend over.
[rock music playing on radio]
-Come on! Come on! Yes!
-Jesus.
-Come on! Ah Shit! Argh!
-[laughing]
[machine] You're dead.
-Come on!
-[doorbell ringing]
[Matze] Who's that?
-Becky.
-Hey.
Hey.
I overreacted this morning.
I'm sorry about that.
Will you forgive me?
Yeah, of course.
[both laugh]
[Olli] Uh... Uh, what's going on?
Uh, so, um...
I wanted to ask
if I might be able to move in here.
I mean, obviously
just until you find me a new place.
There's a problem, one of our pipes burst.
My room's a mess.
There's, like, um, four inches of water.
-Oh God. Yeah, of course you can stay.
-[Rebecca] Really?
I took the liberty
of preparing some dinner.
Hm. Zucchini spaghetti?
Burgers.
So, why don't I start cooking?
[funky music playing]
So, honey, you wanna invite
your friends over at some point?
Hm. So we can all do yoga?
[Rebecca] Ha-ha. No, of course not.
Well, don't you have your pinball meetup?
[scoffs] "Pinball meetup"?
It's called Extreme Pinball, okay?
We don't do that here.
Every year it's a new location.
[Rebecca] Exciting.
Can I come along and play?
Of course.
Are you crazy? No girls allowed.
I'm sorry. I... didn't know that.
Hope you like the food.
You can come some time.
The guys won't mind at all.
Cool.
So, what exactly is it?
I wanna know all about Extreme Pinball.
Pretty typical man stuff.
By the end, every one of us is sloshed.
Hm.
Can't have fun unless you're hammered.
Well, to help you
get a better sense of it,
Extreme Pinball is just
pinball under extreme conditions.
For example, we shocked people
with an electric dog collar last year.
[chuckles] Yeah.
-Mm. That sounds fun.
-[Matze laughs]
Hm. We could set up
at a strip club this time.
There'd be plenty of distractions.
I dunno...
If you're into stripping and stuff,
what's the point
of going to a club, right?
[burps]
[hard rock music playing]
[man] Let's go.
Hey, Matze, catch.
[laughing]
-[Rebecca] Hey.
-[men greeting]
Where's mine?
-You wanna play?
-Yeah, sure.
You think I'm too much of a lady?
-We have another one?
-[man] Sure, here.
["Ya Mama" by Fatboy Slim playing]
-Thanks.
-[man] Yeah.
Push the tempo, push the tempo
Push the tempo...
[machine] Let's go!
[man] Let's go.
[laughing]
-[machine warbles]
-Yeah!
-Woo!
-C'mon!
-Yes!
-Here you go.
[man] All right, you're up.
-[all shouting]
-[groans]
You're off target.
[groans]
-Argh. C'mon!
-[men cheering]
-Ah, shit!
-[men shouting and cheering]
[laughing]
[man] Hit him where it hurts, boys.
[groans]
Dammit!
-And fire!
-Ugh!
Ah, yeah! Whoo! Yes!
[all laughing]
[all] Cheers!
[man] Right, drink up.
Down the hatch.
-Whoa!
-[man] Wow, that's strong.
-[all commenting]
-Okay.
-[man] You want another?
-Now it's my turn.
Don't hit her, okay?
-I'm starting now.
-[machine] Let's go!
[shots firing]
[pinball sound effects bleeping]
[shots continue firing]
Oh!
[laughing]
Hey man, cut it out!
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm okay.
[pinball sounds continue]
Oh!
Oh...
Yes! Come on!
God, man, you're such an asshole.
What? She wanted to play, I'm sorry!
That's not cool.
What, did I miss something?
Are we playing Extreme Pinball
or Extreme Pinball?
Are you okay?
Yeah, never better.
Okay, it's my turn now. Glasses.
Take your revenge, c'mon.
Forget about it, it hurts like hell.
[Olli] Okay, okay. Are you ready?
-Finish him, guys. Come on.
-[men agreeing]
[pinball machine plinking]
[grunting]
[rapid shots firing]
[man whooping]
[shouting]
Nice shot.
Ahh! Ahh!
Really!? Are you nuts?
My game hasn't even st...
-[man 1] C'mon, let it rip, boys!
-[man 2] Yeah!
-Go, go, go, go, go!
-[groaning]
[whimpers]
[machine] Jackpot!
[machine laughing]
Schnapps?
-[all] Yeah.
-[man] Sign me up.
[Rebecca] Want a schnapps too, Olli?
-[Olli] Yeah.
-[men laughing]
[intriguing music playing]
AUSTRALIA
[woman] Hey.
-[clears throat]
-Can I explain to you how books work?
Uh, thanks, I'm all good.
No, you're not.
You're buying this.
Let's head to the checkout.
Uh, there is a page missing.
-Australia's best bars.
-Mm.
Why don't you get Lonely Planet?
They have much better tips.
Okay, sure. Yeah.
Super. You're buying both.
The checkout is over there.
Hey, and in the Maldives,
we'll visit the Baa Atoll,
and there's a restaurant
that's completely underwater.
It's all made of glass.
We'll be surrounded by all that sea life.
And there will be sharks
and giant turtles...
-Cool.
-[Olli] Yeah.
[grunts]
So, Matze,
we gotta pick up our cold training.
You're slacking, brother, c'mon.
Check it out.
What? Right now?
Hell yeah. Just takes a few minutes.
By all means. I better grocery shop.
Let's go.
Shit, it's cold as hell in here.
I disagree. But I've been
training like crazy for a while.
Jesus, Olli. What the hell happened?
Extreme Pinball.
[Matze] So, Bjrn,
are you sure that -60 is safe for this?
Feels like every cell in my body
is slowly dying.
Shit! Accidentally maxed it out.
You're at -110.
[laughing]
Nah, I'm kidding.
Don't be a pussy, it's -60.
[uncertain laugh]
Mexico would be great
if we could do Da de los Muertos, right?
Really, Day of the Dead?
It's not a funeral, okay? It's basically
a giant party with skulls full of tequila.
That sounds super fun.
[suspenseful music playing]
[engine starts]
So by the way,
you still wanna get SCUBA certified?
-Hell yeah.
-Hm.
Ah, I have three viewings I forgot about.
Cover for me?
Whoa, dude, no way, I'm off the clock.
[tires screech]
Shit, dude!
-Ahh!
-What's wrong?
It's Becky, we forgot her!
I'm sorry, I'm, I'm m-mortified, honey.
It's okay. It happens.
[instructor] Now pull the left knee up...
-He forgot me there. Right in the lot.
-Really?
Yeah, all because Olli won't stop
jabbering about that stupid world tour.
Then Matze forgets about everything,
including me.
I can't imagine that, yikes.
Becky, I'm sure you mean
just as much to him as Olli does.
[laughs] Wow, that's horrifying. Cool.
How long's the world tour thing?
A year.
Sit low and deepen that stretch, good.
Really? And you're gonna let him go?
I mean I can't deny him.
It's a dream he's had forever.
Even though you're a couple now?
-I'd put my foot down if I were you.
-Me too. Definitely.
-For sure.
-Right? That's crazy.
Transition into chair pose. Utkatasana.
No. I'm not involving myself in it.
He has to make the decision
to scrap the trip all by himself. Period.
And now turn toward your favorite side.
Okay. I guess
I could just nudge him along.
-Yeah, do that.
-But don't wait too long.
Hey, if you wanna gossip,
take this to a cafe! Chair pose!
[man] Have a nice, calm chat.
Yeah. Take him out
this weekend or something.
You could lose him, okay? Gotta act fast.
[bubbling sound effect]
Where's Matze?
He's behind schedule.
Oh.
Yeah, hopefully he's looking
for your new apartment.
He is, yeah.
What happened with the...
with the burst water pipe?
They repaired it.
Mm.
They have to get
all the moisture out of the walls, too.
Can't have mold, right?
-Mm.
-So did you lose a bet?
That's quite an outfit.
For Matze and my SCUBA course.
Starts this weekend.
Oh, darn.
-I hate to disappoint you, Olli...
-[paper rustles]
Matze and I are going away
for the weekend.
Uh... Matze knows about this?
It's a surprise.
[laughs quietly]
He won't go.
You're telling me
he's gonna pick a diving course
over a weekend on the beach
with his girlfriend?
Uh... yeah.
Hey, wait a minute.
Look, tell me how I can persuade you
to stay out of our way this weekend.
Hm... Hmm...
How about cryotherapy?
Whoever can bear
60 degrees longest... wins.
If I win, we have a deal?
Yeah.
Well, then I'll leave right now.
I'll see you there.
I'm ready...
[laughs]
Wait a minute, Bjrn.
Why don't we go really extreme, huh?
Let's crank it up to -70. How about that?
-But why don't we...
-Mm?
Come on, let's hit the maximum.
Hm?
Bjrn? The maximum.
Whatever you want.
Minus 110.
[suspenseful music playing]
Three minutes.
Five minutes.
Ten minutes.
[Olli shuddering]
Just breathe, yeah that's good.
Whoa! That was really good.
Let's do that more often.
Go ahead, give it to him.
All right. That's good.
W-what the... h-how did she... do that?
Well, some women have
heightened blood circulation.
Something about their hormones.
So what about our deal?
It stands.
Thanks.
Little expensive for cold therapy.
Worth every cent.
Looks like we have everything.
Okay great. Time to hit the road.
[Schmitti, quiet] Olli!
Schmitti, what's happening?
Wanna grab a drink?
[Schmitti] I can't.
I'm under house arrest.
You got put on house arrest?
[Schmitti] Yeah, sorry, I can't talk
too loud. Antje is listening right now.
C'mon, would you speak up?
I can barely hear you, man.
[Schmitti] No, I can't, okay?
Antje is listening.
Hey, man, Schmitti,
are you in prison? Jesus!
I mean, it's worse. Prisoners go outdoors.
-[Schmitti] My hands are tied, man.
-Yeah. Yeah, understood. Forget it.
[sighs]
Come on, let's hit the maximum.
Okay, everyone, how we feeling today!?
[all cheer]
Yeah, super!
All right, guys, let's clap it out!
Good! Okay! Good! Okay, nice! Super!
Keep moving those arms, ladies!
[Olli, muffled] I knew it. Screw you!
Yeah! And four!
[soft music playing]
[seagull calling]
[electronic beep and whir]
[screams]
-[TV on in background]
-[Olli chuckles]
Olli? What's going on?
Ask Rebecca.
We had a deal, you moron.
The game was rigged!
Can someone please tell me
what's going on?
Olli agreed that I could
take you on this trip this weekend.
But to convince him, I had to last
longer in the cryo thing at -110.
Gimme a break!
Bjrn put it at -5 degrees for you,
that backstabbing meathead.
The deal's off!
Listen, I had planned for us
to do some SCUBA stuff this weekend,
but the doctor over here
made it clear she wouldn't have it.
So you were... competing over me?
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
Uh, wait a minute,
how did you get in here?
Bribed the maid.
I can be charming, okay?
You're an idiot.
And you're covering all this.
-[slurping]
-Didn't we schedule a body wrap?
Maybe you should do it with Olli.
I've been thinking about our trip
a lot more lately, man.
Good, glad to hear it.
Gotta get those flights booked.
Oh, I found
some really cheap ones to Bangkok.
That's not what I meant.
I've been talking about it
with Becky for a while now.
And she won't let you go.
Not at all!
She even said I should go for it
if it's my dream, I'm not kidding.
She's just not sure
if it'd be good for our relationship
for me to be gone that long, you know?
Goddammit! Of course!
You're gonna bail because of her.
How 'bout we compress the trip
down to four weeks?
Ugh!
Are you okay?
[Olli yells]
It's not a Disney World trip.
This could really change our lives, man.
I know that.
You wanna miss out on this opportunity?
You wanna keep working
that stupid job all day?
To buy some townhouse in suburbia
like Schmitti?
Dude, I don't know yet.
But I actually like that job, Olli, okay?
I'm sorry, Olli.
[melancholy music playing]
[aggressive rock music playing]
[phone pings]
[Schmitti] Hi, Olli. You said you wanted
to grab a beer sometime, right?
Antje is going to the movies tonight,
so I'll be free from eight to ten.
Let me know if that works, okay?
[engine accelerating]
-Olli!
-Explain how it's possible
-your girlfriends are brainwashing you!
-Calm down.
What's the matter with you, Olli?
Matze canceled our trip around the world.
[laughs] Hang on, you thought
you were still gonna do that?
Uh, yeah.
Olli, Matze has a woman in his life now.
I mean, he'd be stupid not to choose his
relationship over a year-long world tour.
That's your opinion.
The opinion of a guy
who calls his wife a cow's ass.
I was drunk.
It could be worse with Antje.
When we're alone, she's kinda nice.
"Kinda nice"?
Was that what you always hoped for?
Got someone better, hm?
It's not like women are lining up for me.
Besides, if Antje hadn't
pushed me so hard, I would never have...
made it to department supervisor.
And I wouldn't have wound up with...
a fancy office and view of the cathedral.
Seriously, man,
I'm really glad she's my wife.
So what about tonight?
Are we going out for a beer, then?
Nah, forget it. Probably better
to stay in and iron Antje's panties.
[gasps]
[aggressive rock music playing]
Olli! You can't be selfish in life!
Compromise is paramount.
What are you doing?
Leaving.
[Matze] Okay, why?
Because I'm done
getting screwed over here.
You're not even looking
for a new place for her, dude.
That's not true, man.
I showed Becky two places,
and neither felt right.
Two? Well! Man, that's tough.
You really want her outta here, don't you?
You're right, I... let
it slide for a while.
I thought the three of us would find
common ground and start getting along.
C'mon, you sure you wanna do this?
Yeah.
[melancholy music playing]
Okay.
Do you need help?
Not going fast enough?
Don't be so angry at Matze, okay?
It's understandable that he doesn't
want us to be apart for a full year.
Yeah, because it was
all his decision, right?
-Of course it was.
-[Olli laughs]
Okay, whatever, doctor.
Do you really think I'm as dumb as I look?
I know why you wanted to spend
a long weekend alone
with my best friend, alright?
And I also know that that whole
plumbing thing was a total excuse.
And the more I think about the situation,
I'd be a fool to just sit back
and let you win, so, uh...
Hello? Excuse me? Oh, I see.
That's too bad. Goodbye.
Bad luck, I guess.
My building manager told me
the unit I wanted isn't available anymore.
Oh, well.
I'll be staying.
So, your roommate just had
a chat with his right hand.
He's not planning on moving out.
Yeah, sorry, it didn't work out after all.
But it's not so bad.
We get to live together. Eh?
It's worked out well so far.
Worked out well? Are you serious?
Are you guys outta your mind?
For weeks, you've been acting like kids.
Either figure it out and grow up
or just ignore each other
and just move on.
Watch out, my friend.
[laughs]
'Watch out'? Becky can be so domineering.
Telling me where to look. Women.
["The Only One I Know"
by The Charlatans playing]
The only one I know
Has come to take me away
The only one I know
Is mine when she stitches me
The only one I see
Has found an aching in me
[screams]
The only one I see
[Olli screaming]
Has turned her tongue into me
Beautiful teeth.
Everyone has been burned before
CREATE AD FOR SALE
[machine] Jackpot!
[doorbell ringing]
The only one I know
Hello. For the pinball machine?
What now?
Look, I bought it for one euro.
Great deal.
The only one I know
Oh, whatever, man.
Hey! Open the door!
Bring it out here right now!
Ow! No! Hey! Hey!
Open the door! What's going on?
The only one I see
Is mine when she walks down the street
The only one I see
Has carved her way into me
Everyone has been burned before
Ah! Ah!
Fuck.
[groans]
Whoa!
Everyone
Oh my God, oh my God.
...burned before
Agh! Agh!
BEST BEFORE AUGUST 2008
Dammit. Ugh!
Ah!
-[popping]
-Ah! Ah!
What happened?
[melancholy music playing]
Uh, Olli had a sandwich issue.
[Olli] The sandwich press caught on fire.
I have no idea what happened, sorry.
Uh, maybe it was, um, a sign
that you and I should
think about finding a new place.
So, I have this patient,
she's a really sweet old lady,
and she's got this apartment.
She wants to rent it out.
She told me we'd be perfect.
So, what's she talking you into
this time, huh?
[Rebecca, muffled] Listen, I'm sorry about
what happened. I... didn't want any of this.
[Matze, muffled] Don't worry about it.
I'm just happy neither of you got hurt.
As for the place, well, to be honest,
my pride as a realtor is a little damaged
since you found it first...
but this unit looks awesome, Becky.
Yeah, I know!
I think we should just go for it.
Uh... There's one tiny little stipulation.
Just meet her once,
and she'll be glad to give her approval.
Okay. When and where?
Day after tomorrow.
Just meet her in the unit, that's all.
Day after tomorrow is your conference.
Uh, yeah, but it'll be fine.
I don't need to be there.
Just stop by, say a quick hello, and...
and then we have the apartment.
[rock music playing]
[Matze] Sounds good, Miss Akay.
See you later.
Hey, uh, I've been thinking about your
decision not to go on our trip anymore,
and well, um...
Well, I'm good with it. Yeah.
Nice of you to say.
Mm.
Man, you know,
I just wish I could do both.
Travel the globe with you
and get to be with Becky at the same time.
What if instead of a big world tour,
we uh... just changed it to a small one?
Here in the city.
A single night to make it happen.
What are you saying?
I'll surprise you.
I'll say this much,
we're starting in Bangkok.
Okay?
Great, yep.
CONFIRMATION
THANK YOU FOR PURCHASING TICKETS
-Hi, Becky.
-[Rebecca] Hey, are you busy?
No, all good.
Olli just pitched
a scaled-down version of our trip.
I wouldn't trust that.
It's all right.
He's trying to be nice, that's all.
Just don't forget,
you're meeting her tomorrow.
Don't worry, I'll remember.
I can't bail on this idea too, though.
He's already done all the legwork.
No, it's just tonight.
It's not gonna take long.
[Olli] Woohoo! This is a Mekong Sour.
[clinking]
Mm.
Mm. Fried grasshoppers are
a popular snack in Thailand.
Extremely protein-rich as well.
Hey, smile.
The Thai are very sensitive to manners.
Bottoms up.
Hm?
Mm. Mm.
We're leaving Thailand for now...
-Huh?
-and catching a flight to Siberia.
[wind whistling]
-Hey, uh...
-Uh...
Ah!
-Whoa. Oh, Jesus.
-Ugh...
Ah! Ah!
[Matze] Let's go back to a warm country.
[playing "La Bamba"]
[singing in Spanish]
[Olli] Hey!
In the real Acapulco,
we'd be on the beach now.
It would be so great
to go on a real journey around the world.
I'm glad you said that, dude.
Because actually...
[phone buzzing]
Hi, honey.
[Rebecca] Hey. Everything okay?
[Matze] All good. Yeah, uh...
we're in Marrakesh right now.
[Rebecca] How late you gonna be out?
Not much longer. Don't worry.
Don't forget the documents tomorrow, okay?
I won't forget.
I'll take care of it all.
[Rebecca] Good.
Sorry, I have to head in.
I'll text you later, okay?
All right, honey.
Hey. I love you.
I love you too.
I love you too.
Just one more, okay?
Yeah.
[dramatic ambient music playing]
[eagle screeching]
[Matze] Where are we now?
-Mongolia.
-[camel grunting]
The middle of the Gobi.
The desert Genghis Khan crossed.
[Matze] Cool.
-[Ollie laughing]
-[camel grunts]
[phone buzzes]
[Rebecca] Hey, we're done for the night.
Pretty beat, so I'm going to bed.
Where are you right now?
STILL IN MONGOLIA
I'LL CALL YOU IN THE MORNING
STILL IN MONGOLIA
I'LL CALL YOU IN THE MORNING
Welcome to Africa.
You get the snacks, I'll get the drinks.
["Bohemian Like You"
by The Dandy Warhols playing]
You've got a great car
Yeah, what's wrong with it today?
Healthy and delicious!
Dude, I want junk food, okay?
[woman laughing] Beautiful.
Seriously, I'm so excited.
[conversing indistinctly]
I'm not kidding, I'm gonna tell everyone
I know. Get ready for a spike in business.
So what do you do?
[Matze] Where to now?
The coast of Argentina.
But first we better get a little snack.
...on vegan food
Well, come over to my work
I'll have them cook you something
That you'll really love
'Cause I like you
Yeah, I like you
And I'm feeling so bohemian like you
Yeah, I like you
Yeah, I like you
And I feel
Whoa, whoo!
We're in Argentina!
[both] Whoo!
[song ends]
[caws]
Becky?
Welcome to Argentina.
Did you forget?
-You have location sharing turned on!
-[groans]
The apartment viewing was an hour ago.
And you look like a homeless guy!
[man] Hey, sweet cheeks!
Would you keep your voice down?
For God's sake, we're trying to sleep!
[Becky] I get it now.
You were never really
that interested in being with me.
My bad.
Wait! Becky... Becky. Becky.
It was a m... mistake.
I'm s-s-sorry.
[Olli laughing]
Dude, your hair. What the hell happened?
[Rebecca] Gotta be kidding.
Shit, no... Becky.
Becky.
Shit!
[sing-song] Fresh rolls!
[sighs]
What's going on?
She broke it off with me.
Really?
Uh...
"Unfortunately,
I've come to the realization
that you'll never grow up."
"I want a man, not some overgrown,
uh, chick... child."
Her handwriting is a disaster.
"I tried everything with you,
but apparently you're only happy
if you have Olli by your side."
Hm, she nailed that one at least.
"I hope you have a nice life with him."
I can't believe this.
Hm?
An around-the-world ticket?
I tapped into
our world tour account, Matze.
You got these tickets
before she dumped me,
what's the matter with you?
Unbelievable. You're not my friend.
Oh my God, you're an asshole!
Hey.
B... b... b... b... b... b... b...
Becky was the woman I'd been looking for.
And I was really happy.
Hey. That... that's temporary...
Hey. Relax.
I wanna pull out of our lease.
Does that mean you're dumping me?
Will you go, or should I?
Yeah, I'll leave.
Well, I'm out of here.
["I Miss You" by Blink 182 playing]
Hello there
The angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background
Of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim
Of darkness in the valley
-We can live like Jack and Sally
-Answer it.
If we want
Where you can always find me
We'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night
We'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends
[sobbing]
So... right this way.
As you can see,
you've got a spacious living area
and a dining room here.
The real heart of this unit,
though, is this gorgeous new...
What's that?
Uh... um...
We'll be moving that stuff.
DONE! YOUR AD IS ONLINE.
Where are you?
And I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody, and always
-[dings]
-This sick, strange darkness
Comes creeping on
So haunting every time
PIA93 BOUGHT THE "AROUND THE WORLD TICKET"
And as I stared I counted
The webs from all the spiders
Catching things
And eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
And hear your voice of treason...
Hey.
You owe me 24.90.
Ha. Why? It wasn't your book.
Yeah, but now
it can't be sold in the store.
AUSTRALIA
Holy shit, you must be Pia.
Does this look familiar?
You're Olli?
You put up the post for that ticket?
Yeah. You wanna travel the world then?
Well, I'm waiting for that 24.90 first.
I've been dreaming of doing
a trip around the world.
I feel like everyone says that,
but no one does it.
Then I knew as soon as I saw your ad for
the plane ticket... I'm gonna go for it.
-[laughs] Great.
-And you?
-Mm.
-Lemme guess, your girlfriend ran away
and now you have
an extra ticket to get rid of.
Not a girlfriend... uh, boyfriend.
Sorry, I assumed you were straight.
I am... well, for now.
But I'm trying to keep my options open.
Uh-huh. You must not do well with women.
[scoffs] What makes you think that?
Just a guess.
[laughs] Sorry.
Why'd your friend back outta the trip?
What happened?
Um... a woman ruined it.
[laughs]
[intriguing music playing]
Okay, let's hear it.
Oh, come on.
We might as well start getting acquainted
with each other now, don't you think?
We're gonna see each other
on planes all the time.
You're more of a Peter Pan type, huh?
You mean the little boy
in the green spandex?
Mmm. He wants to be a kid forever.
Yeah, but I'm an adult, and spoiler alert:
it hasn't been fun, it's disappointing.
Your friend obviously doesn't agree.
Why is that so hard for you?
Well, 'cause I'm not gonna...
[Pia] Oh, come on.
The fact is, you've kinda
lost sight of his wants
and your relationship in general.
Sounds like you've been
thinking about yourself.
Your friend's evolving, and now,
he's starting to have other concerns
outside of trip he's taking with you.
Not the first time I've heard that.
Mm. Sounds like you two need to make up.
Well, see you at the airport.
-Uh-huh.
-Thanks for the coffee.
Uh, yeah.
[footsteps receding]
-[Pia] Bye.
-[woman] See ya.
["Achterbahn" by Clueso playing]
They're renovating the building.
[singer singing in German]
Can you gimme a sec?
Hey, do you have...
I'm just, um...
Hey.
Okay. Cool.
[song continues]
[indistinct dialog]
Rebecca? Hey! Hey, wait a sec!
Rebecca!
Hey, just one second, okay? Can we talk?
[screaming]
[coughing and retching]
[Olli yelling in pain]
[song continues]
Mister... Pan?
Yeah.
Please.
Mm.
-Take a seat.
-Okay.
-All right...
-Oh. Uh...
[woman] There we go.
-The doctor will be right with you.
-Mm-hmm.
Mr. Peter Pan?
That's what it says.
-[laughs] Wow.
-[laughs]
Hello, Mr. Pan.
So it looks like this is
your first time with us, right?
What seems to be the trouble? Hm?
What do you want?
Five minutes to talk.
I don't care, Olli.
And what's with the stupid name?
You wouldn't've seen me otherwise.
Had to be done.
Well, I'm not talking to you. Now get out!
You're being unfair to Matze.
-Hey...
-[door opens]
Okay. We're all set. Hm?
-[machine whirring]
-Let's get started, Peter.
What? No, no. That's not necessary.
My pain just disappeared, it's a miracle.
Yeah, people say that a lot.
Just trust me, Mr. Pan,
you'll be a lot better off
if I examine you.
[mischievous music playing]
Ah... Ah!
Ah!
[Olli grunting]
Ah... Ah! Ah! Ah!
Decay on 4-8. The doctor will
give you a shot, you won't feel a thing.
-No, Mr. Pan's very tough.
-Huh?
He said he doesn't need anesthesia,
and I'm happy to oblige him.
[Olli] Eh? Uh, uh...
[air hissing]
[whirring]
Ah, ah...
[Olli yelling]
[Olli screaming]
Mom, I don't wanna go in there.
Please don't make me.
[screaming and crying]
[panting and whimpering]
[Rebecca] All righty.
[Olli moans]
Drink some water.
[groans]
[whimpering]
You can go, Michelle.
I'm good with this one.
[Olli groans]
[door closes]
So I'm being unfair here, really?
Matze had a bunch of opportunities
to move in with me,
and he fucked up every time.
It was my fault though.
I talked him out of it over and over.
Well, he wouldn't have even listened
if he was serious about us.
And he wouldn't have put his friend
above me and our future.
He's not, otherwise he would never
have kicked me out of our place!
-Really?
-Yeah.
I'm outta there.
Besides, I'm going on the world tour soon.
[soft music playing]
Give him another chance.
Matze misses you a lot. I mean it.
Olli?
Uh... you did have a cavity in your molar.
Cool.
[groans]
[man] Oh, hello. Excuse me, sir.
Miss Richthoff. Here. Take a look.
You'll be interested, I think.
Well, everyone should be interested
that the new
intra-oral scanner has arrived.
At last.
Miss Richthoff?
I'm sorry, I need time to think.
Miss Kaminski? Here. Look.
I believe this will be of interest to you.
TROUBLE WITH HAUKE. CAN WE MEET?
[gentle music continues]
[vibrates]
HEY MATZE, WANT TO GRAB A BITE TO EAT?
[sighs]
[sighs]
Hi.
Hey.
I... uh, I'm meeting Schmitti for a bite.
Yeah, meeting Moni.
Okay.
Have you ever eaten with Schmitti here?
No, it's the first time.
And I've never met Moni here.
Yeah, my guess is Olli's responsible.
What makes you so sure?
Well, he was my patient this morning.
He told me you finally kicked him out.
He didn't grill you about it
or anything, did he?
Not at all. It was the reverse, he...
took your side, actually.
He was committed.
So much so that he... got
some serious treatment without anesthesia.
We talking about the same Olli?
[soft music playing]
Somehow he managed
to arrange this meeting.
[waiter] Afternoon, guys.
What can I get you?
I think we maybe need a moment.
No problem.
Maybe we should decide.
So now you're living there
all by yourself?
Yep.
And you?
Still hoping for a new place?
I have one in mind.
There's a whole lot of room for you.
Although the kitchen has
severe fire damage somehow.
I wanna cover all the repairs, okay?
No way.
Look, please, just... please.
It would make me feel better.
What do you mean?
It's a long story.
I promise I'll tell you later.
I'm just so happy
we have each other again.
[emotional music playing]
-Morning.
-[man] Hello.
[woman] Hi, Matze.
I SOLD YOUR TICKET. OLLI
Where's Olli's stuff?
Hello to you, Matze.
Why ask me about it?
Oh no.
Did Batman and Robin go to splitsville?
Listen, your friend quit so he could
go on his round the world vision quest.
But it seems like
you came to your senses, right?
I don't blame you.
That kinda trip wouldn't be for me either.
Living out of a backpack,
staying in cheap hostels,
never showering... Ugh!
Uh, oh... so Holloscheck from
our luxury properties division is leaving.
That'd be a good position for you.
Larger commissions, better salary,
but a lot of hard work too.
You can think about it.
I'm good, actually.
I accept the offer. Thank you.
Uh... you have any idea
when Olli's flying out?
Um... I think this morning?
["Lucky Man" by The Verve playing]
Hey, it's Olli. Sorry,
I'm just trying to find my phone.
Shit.
Happiness, more or less
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Oh, my, my
Happiness, coming and going...
-Sorry, could you do me a favor, please?
-First of all, you need to get in line.
Uh, uh... I... I-I'm trying to find s-s...
Hey! No cutting in line!
Olli!
Hey.
What, did you change your mind?
No ticket for you, sorry.
Becky told me
you went to make things right.
Oh, so my matchmaking was a success?
It all worked out, we're good.
Is that true... for us too? I hope it is.
Thanks for being a great friend.
[woman over PA] Final boarding call
for flight TH8431 with service to Bangkok.
So, this is it. It's happening.
Passengers please proceed...
Yeah. Guess I better
camp under the Northern Lights.
Otherwise, all that cold training
will go to waste.
[laughing]
[Pia whistles sharply]
Who's that?
Um, Pia. She took your ticket, man.
My buddy Matze! All is forgiven!
Amazing! Come on!
-Yeah, I should...
-All right, then.
How many corners do I have to turn?
It's crazy. I think the longest
we've been away from each other
was in elementary school
when we'd get three days for Christmas.
That's true. The year will fly by though.
Yeah, you're right.
Yeah but, uh,
a year can feel like an eternity too.
Yeah, that's true.
[Pia whistles]
Okay, take care.
You too.
[song continues]
Happiness, more or less
Is just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Happiness, coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing on
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my
[song ends]
Eyyy!
Oh, stop.
What happened, you two?
I mean, well, I proposed and she said yes.
Okay, right what happened exactly?
'Cause, Olli, I know getting married
wasn't on the top of your list, right?
Well, we were hanging out
by this super cold lake in Iceland,
with incredible views
of the Northern Lights,
and we're standing in a long line
to rent some wetsuits,
and I look over and suddenly Pia says,
"Screw wetsuits!"
And jumps into the lake
without batting an eye.
I mean, obviously
I had to marry that woman, right?
[all laughing]
I only married him to shield you guys
from further torture.
Oh. Thanks a lot. That's sweet.
And, um, yeah, congratulations,
Olli's not an easy adversary.
God!
Oh, one more thing. Bali is amazing.
-Take some time off and come out here!
-Yeah.
Matze, Becky.
-Ciao!
-Cheers.
Ciao.
Oh, sweet.
[doorbell rings]
[man] Hey, Matze.
It's... It's Schmitti.
Antje found his secret weed stash
-and kicked him outta the house.
-Oh.
He's asking if our apartment has
an extra room, so he can stay here.
Hey, Becky.
Yeah, I'll grab Olli's bed.
Must be you.
Always end up in a three-way relationship.
["You Get What You Give" playing]
[both laughing]
One, two, one, two, three, ow!
Wake up, kids
We got the dreamers' disease
Age 14
They got you down on your knees
So polite
We're busy still saying please
Frienemies
Who when you're down ain't your friend
Every night
We smash a Mercedes-Benz
First we run
And then we laugh 'til we cry
But when the night is falling
-You cannot find the light
-Light
You feel your dreams are dying
Hold tight
You've got the music in you
Don't let go
You've got the music in you
One dance left
This world is gonna pull through
Don't give up
You've got a reason to live...
[intriguing indie rock playing]
[music softens]
[music swells]
[music softens]
[music fades out]