My Dead Friend Zoe (2024) Movie Script
1
(grand orchestral fanfare
playing)
(overlapping chatter)
(indistinct radio transmission)
(vehicles trundling)
(indistinct radio transmission)
No clouds in my stones
Let it rain
I hydroplane in the bank
Comin' down
like the Dow Jones...
(helicopter blades whirring)
We fly higher than weather
In G5s or better
You know me
In anticipation
for precipitation
Stack chips
for the rainy day
Jay, Rain Man is back
With Little Ms. Sunshine
Rihanna, where you at?
(singing along):
You have my heart
And we'll never be
worlds apart
Maybe in magazines
But you'll still be my star
Baby, 'cause in the dark
You can't see shiny cars
And that's when
you need me there
(music stops)
-No!
-Aww.
I thought you fixed it!
(exclaims)
-Zoe.
-Mm?
-Come on.
-Sorry. Here.
Oh, come on, Captain America,
we're in a war zone.
Just... live a little.
It's not like
-anyone's gonna come, anyway.
-(banging)
-Oh, shit, shit, shit!
-Shh!
(helicopter passing)
-Shit!
-Shit! (mutters)
(window thuds)
Aw, fuck.
Hey, Ramirez.
I see you are filling out
that blouse quite nicely.
Ew. God, you are
such a mouth-breather.
Hey, Charles!
Lookin' as pretty as ever.
Mm-mm.
What do you want, Lewis?
Oh, um, Sergeant Shepherd's
on his way.
-For real?
-Yep.
Cool, okay.
Fuck off, Lewis.
Geez! I was just trying to help.
Fuck off!
-Can I call you? Call me?
-No!
-Ugh!
-All right.
No, no, no, no,
wait, wait, wait,
let me just finish the song,
I just-- I can fix it.
-Zoe.
-I can fix it,
I can fix it, I can fix it.
Just let me just do this,
and I think,
if I just hold this like this...
I got it, I got it,
I got it-- ready?
I'll always share
BOTH:
Because...
When the sun shines,
we'll shine together.
ZOE: You believe Ventura got
medevacked out of here
for that tiny little
fuckin' scratch?
She almost got blown up.
I just hope that
everything is okay
with her...
You know.
-Her internal organs?
-No, her tits.
She's got great tits.
So, she might have PTSD
and need therapy,
but at least
her tits are all right.
Yeah.
They're important.
(Merit sighs)
Can you promise me something?
Can you promise me
we won't get, like,
fucked up?
That's too easy.
Taliban can't touch this.
Come on.
No, I mean, like, in the head.
You already fucked up
in the head,
so what does that mean?
Merit, I'm serious!
What are you saying?
I'm saying that
if you ever catch me
in some sort of, like,
dopey-ass, PTSD
group therapy bullshit,
or any kind of therapy,
you have permission
to fucking kill me.
DR. COLE:
So, we're all here?
Good.
Who wants to start?
James.
Uh...
James.
Sergeant, Marine Corps.
2004, Al Anbar Province in Iraq.
Um, our job was
to go look for IEDs,
find the guys
putting 'em out there.
-Cool story, bro.
-Shh!
Merit?
-Everything okay?
-Mm...
Mm-hmm. Yes, sir.
Go on, James.
The, uh, negative,
unhelpful feelings
that I'm trying
to process from that day
are, um... um...
Oh, my God.
James, okay, okay.
Aren't we better than this--
than this woe-is-me shit?
Didn't we join the most powerful
military of all time,
did we survive the dumbest wars
of all time,
just to sit here broken
and all "Kumbaya"
and, oh,
"Oh, gee, my feelings"?
No! Fuck!
Get it together! God!
Ugh!
-Let's get out of here.
-Be quiet.
-I'm listening.
-Merit?
I'm sorry.
I'm so-- I'm so...
I'm sorry, James.
Uh, sorry, James. Go on.
(birds chirping)
(distant voices)
(door opens, closes)
(sighs)
Good work.
(indistinct chatter)
I can't sign that.
I was here.
Yeah, you were here, physically.
But you didn't share,
you didn't give your attention
to the others.
We all have pasts.
You think you're the only one
who doesn't want
to talk about it, Merit?
(Merit sighs softly)
Fuck anybody else
They don't know
What
we been through
Fuck anybody else
They don't know
What the world did to you
Fuck what they say
They really got
nothing good to say
Anyway, anytime, any place
Fuck every one of them
They ain't none of
our friends
All we need is this
Two of us and a full clip
No, they don't want beef
They don't want nails, teeth
They don't want knuckles, no
They don't wanna bleed
But I come for blood
'Cause I fuckin' love you,
yeah
Yeah, I'm crazy
Crazy enough to say
I'm crazy enough to swear
I'll die for you, yeah
They don't know shit
Don't know who
they're fuckin' with
It's the power couple, ah.
(panting)
(tags jingle)
Honey, you're home!
(exclaims)
It's 8:00 a.m.
Do you know why
people hate runners?
Flat stomachs?
Sculpted legs?
It's selfish.
It's a selfish sport.
What the hell
am I supposed to do
while you're gone?
You could work on our puzzle.
Man. That VA counselor guy,
what a dick.
Mm!
I just had a genius idea.
We watch MASH again,
but it's a drinking game.
-(phone ringing)
-Shit! That is not a no.
Ugh. Why does she
always FaceTime?
It's so creepy.
-Hi, Mom.
-KRIS: Is talking
to your mother
really that dreadful?
No, Mom, it's...
How's China?
I'm in Hong Kong, honey.
-There's a difference.
-Is there?
I mean, they had some
limited autonomy then.
So, how's the warehouse job?
How's your life, boyfriend?
Any friends?
Mom, please. Stop.
I'm sure you called
because you need something.
I'm your mother, I'm allowed
to ask about your life.
Okay, so what
did you call about?
I need something.
-I knew it.
-ZOE: I knew it!
It's your Grandpa Dale.
They found him wandering.
What do you mean, wandering?
Kwan found him
way out at her place.
She took him to the hospital.
-Okay, so he's okay, then.
-No, he's not--
I just told you that your
grandpa was in the hospital.
What is the matter with you?
Okay, Mom, I...
Sorry.
I gotta go.
No, no, no-- no.
I need you to go out there,
I need you to go out to the lake
and check in on your grandpa,
-make sure he's all right.
-(exclaims)
It smells like crayon.
(chuckles)
-KRIS: Merit?
-I can't. I, um...
I just started a new group.
-Oh.
-At the VA.
Like therapy, counseling?
-Mm-hmm.
-Did something happen?
No, I...
I chose to.
It's good, it's, it's...
I think it's
really gonna help me,
but I-I can't miss
any sessions, or...
That's wonderful news,
it really is.
I will figure something out
for Grandpa.
I'm really proud of you,
Merit, I really am.
I know your dad would be, too.
Okay, Mom, I gotta go,
I love you.
KRIS:
I love you.
Did you hear back yet?
No.
I'm probably not
even gonna get in.
Come on. Merit, look.
I think college is stupid
and mostly useless,
but you,
you can do anything you want.
So if you want it,
you're gonna get it.
You're the smartest
person I know.
Nine-sixteenths.
Let's see,
what could you major in?
Oh... '90s hip-hop,
you're good at that.
(scoffs)
Lumber sciences,
is that a thing?
Yeah.
Maybe, yeah.
You know, 'cause
your family owns
a Christmas tree farm?
Just thinkin' of the family biz.
You could run that shit
like Santa.
What about you, after this?
I don't know.
-(indistinct chatter)
-(power tools whirring)
You know, you could
do something epic.
Mm-hmm.
Okay. Sure.
DR. COLE: All right.
I thought, for today,
we would try
something different.
Follow the bouncing ball.
This is stupid,
but I'll-I'll play ball.
Hi. My name is Assia.
I was a captain in the Army.
Um...
I was the only female
in every unit I served in.
On my first deployment,
I was not allowed
to stay with my team
where they were sleeping,
and, um,
it was only because
I was a female.
And so, every day,
for our targeting mission,
I had to drive by myself
for six hours.
One direction,
six hours, back.
Um...
And I'm here
because I'm trying
to belong to myself again.
(distant siren wailing)
Try Merit.
(scoffs)
You ready?
My name is Merit.
I was... Army.
ZOE:
You're doing great.
All right. Why don't we
start with an easy one?
Why did you join?
I joined because of my grandpa.
Hmm.
He's retired from the Army
22 years,
lieutenant colonel.
When I was a kid,
we would go to music in the park
on the Fourth of July,
and the band would play
the fight song
for each branch
of the military, you know?
And if you were a veteran,
you would stand
when they played your song.
Can you email me
the rest of this?
When they played the Army song,
my grandpa would stand, and...
I swear, he seemed
a hundred feet tall to me.
And I wanted to be tall
too, you know?
So...
Now tell us why you're here.
(faint blip)
(sighs)
What I wanna talk about
is, is...
is not an incident, it's...
ZOE:
Leave me alone!
It's a-- it's a person.
(door slams)
DR. COLE:
Merit?
Go on.
I don't-- I don't--
I don't feel like it today.
Alicia, Air Force, 14 years.
Security forces.
MP, for you other folks.
(chuckling)
-See you later.
-Yeah.
I'm sorry.
Why?
I shared.
You shared
why you joined the Army.
You did not share
why you are here,
which is the point.
If you don't show up and share,
I will have no choice
but to inform the court
that you did not
complete the group.
I'm sorry.
(snaps)
I actually do get
why you wanna reenlist.
But you're wrong.
Not everybody has
a happy fuckin' home
to go back to, Merit.
(buzzing)
DR. STOKES:
Ma'am, did you hear me?
Sorry, say again?
Your grandfather was found.
He was found wandering.
He didn't seem
to know where he was.
We're lucky
someone brought him in.
Right, yeah, that's Kwan.
She-she owns the lake house
next to ours.
This has happened before, so--
DR. STOKES:
No. That was last time.
Dale was found
on the side of Highway 8.
The police brought him in.
Look. We ran some tests.
I'm diagnosing him with
early stage Alzheimer's.
I'm sorry.
(sighs)
Never thought I'd see the day
when a man can't go for a walk
on his own property.
You weren't on your
own property, Grandpa.
You were on Highway 8.
And Kwan's before that.
-Who?
-Exactly.
I know who Kwan is.
You just pronounced it wrong.
-How do you pronounce it?
-Kwan.
Kwan...
Sounds the same to me.
What the hell is this thing?
It's an iPod, it plays music.
Huh. I've seen
AN/PRC-25 field radios
in the garbage look
like they play music
better than this thing.
Dale's got jokes.
(birds chirping)
Want me to help you in?
Help how?
You sure you're all right?
I'm better than all right.
You don't think
you should help him in?
Nah.
You heard him.
He's better than all right.
(wings fluttering)
(panting)
Hi, Merit!
Not much of a talker, are you?
People talk enough.
I meant, in group.
I mean,
that's kind of the point.
Talking. Listening.
Not being alone.
It's not as simple as you think.
Who said it was simple?
You think it's easy
for everybody, anybody?
No, I...
Honestly, I don't even
know if I should be here.
Well, it's not about you, Merit.
There are other people in there.
People who need your attention.
If you can't talk
openly about your life,
how can they?
I was medevacked out of Vietnam
in November 1968.
I was shot,
almost lost my fuckin' arm.
And for a decade, I was alone,
self-medicating.
Strong and silent,
or so I thought at the time.
It wasn't until 1978
that I finally started
to talk about it.
Respectfully, sir...
I don't know if getting hurt
is the same as losing somebody.
I don't know what
happened to you, Merit,
what you lost, or who,
but I do know
that the kind of behavior
that brought you to me
is not the kind of behavior
of a person who is healed.
That behavior was
an accident, Dr. Cole.
You dropped a forklift load
of television sets,
almost crushed a coworker.
Please! That guy
at the warehouse
was all up in your shit.
What you're calling an accident,
the court's calling
criminal negligence.
-Nobody died.
-Nobody died.
What?
Merit, I know you think
you're above this.
But... courage is
moving forward.
I-It's not being unmoved.
What is it that you are
so afraid to talk about?
MERIT:
What is wrong with you?
Get back inside!
I just can't.
If you don't show up
and participate
and I don't sign off,
you're back
on the mercy of the court.
They'll fine you.
Hell, they may even
put you in jail.
If I were you,
I would think very seriously
about what living
in the past is worth.
Just sayin'.
God, this literal shit
is literally killing me.
(sighs)
We are light-wheel mechanics.
This is not that. Ugh.
-Welcome to the Army.
-(flies buzzing)
Hey, did you give
any more thought
to any of those super cool
majors I suggested?
(flies buzzing)
-What?
-(helicopter blades whirring)
(sighs)
Actually, um...
I got in... to Oregon.
That's great.
Thanks.
Yeah, no, my, um...
my cousin just, uh,
told me he's gonna have a job
for me when I get out, so...
-Yeah?
-That's cool.
-Your cousin?
-Mm-hmm.
Which one?
Why didn't you tell me?
I don't know, Zoe, I...
I didn't know
how you would react.
It's not like
you've had anything
super positive
to say about college.
I love college.
I think college is amazing.
Rich kids and snowflakes.
There it is.
And I'm neither, by the way.
Okay.
You know what I honestly think?
-Here it goes.
-I think you get uncomfortable
when anybody talks about
life after the military.
-Oh, is that what you think?
-Yeah, that's what I think.
Well...
sorry you misinterpreted me.
I'm actually really
proud of you.
I'm really excited for you.
Congratulations.
(muttering)
(flies buzzing)
(panting)
(TV playing indistinctly)
(chuckling)
(Zoe laughs)
Hey.
Your mother called... again.
If I were you,
I would not call her back.
MERIT:
Ugh.
(phone ringing)
(sighs)
KRIS (over phone):
You dropped him off?
What is wrong with you?
-Mom.
-Merit,
you're gonna go back there,
you're gonna help me
sell that cabin.
I've already contacted
a realtor.
What?
Grandpa still lives there.
And that was fine
as long as he was fine,
-but he's not anymore.
-Where is he gonna live?
He's going to a retirement home,
and I've already started
making some calls.
This has to be done, Merit.
He needs help.
Mom, I can't.
I just don't understand, Merit.
There's no therapy at the cabin.
You used to spend so much
time with your grandpa.
(clicking)
(singing along): Time presses
on and on and on and on
Time presses on and on
Time presses on
and on and on and on.
Me and my red guitar sitting
on the hardwood floor
Singing this song about how
I don't love you anymore.
Crank the bass, turn me up
We're tryna race, burn it up
Whoo, uh
Shake the place, tear it up
Shake it, whoop
We the craze,
know you heard of us!
Shake the place, tear it up
Shake it, whoo
Yeah, we the greats,
know you heard of us
Heard about us, uh
Uh, driving
like I know I want it
Uh, yeah
Celebrate it
if you pull up on 'em
Zone, what up
Simon got that pretty woman
Uh, yeah...
ZOE: Wow. You didn't tell me
your grandfather lived
on the set of a horror film.
(music continues faintly)
So which one of us do you think
is gonna get killed first?
I mean, on the one hand,
you're Black.
You guys don't make it long
in horror movies.
But on the other hand,
I'm already dead.
(Merit laughs)
You seriously need to stop.
What? Isn't Oregon known
for its serial killers?
Randall Woodfield,
the I-5 Bandit.
Dayton Leroy Rogers,
the Molalla Forest Killer.
There's something wrong
with your brain.
Or is it yours?
(birds chirping)
You know, this is exactly
how these movies start.
Bunch of bees over there.
(Merit sighs)
-(creaking)
-Wow, so secure.
I feel very safe.
Grandpa?
(drops bag)
Your grandma's so pretty.
Yeah, she was.
How come you never talk
about your dad?
(Merit sighs)
He died.
Cancer.
I was seven.
Well, you should learn
to talk about
your dead loved ones more often.
That's an interesting place
for milk.
Hey, there's your grandpa.
(water drops)
MERIT:
Hey.
Hi.
Uh, hi.
Wow, you're doing great.
If you're here for
your grandmother's funeral,
you're ten months late.
I'm here to see you.
No, you're here to check on me.
Your mother put you up to it.
(Merit sighs)
I'm here to see you, Grandpa.
DALE:
I'll bet she guilted you so bad
you just rushed right over here,
didn't even remember to pack.
We did forget the toothpaste.
Am I wrong?
I, um...
I did talk to Mom,
but I'm here
because I want to be.
I'm sorry I left the other day.
Upstairs,
second door on the right.
In case you don't remember.
(insects chirring)
ZOE:
This house is legit spooky.
I saw a bat earlier,
I'm not even kidding.
-(Merit scoffs)
-So your Grandpa Dale
does not fuck around, does he?
Yeah, nah,
that's not really his thing.
(phone ringing)
-(Merit sighs)
-No, no, no, no.
When was the last time
your phone rang
and it was good news?
Don't pick that up.
(Merit sighs)
(line ringing)
Hello?
DR. COLE: You missed
tonight's session, Merit.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't-- I don't--
I don't know what to tell you.
I'm with my grandpa.
He has early stage Alzheimer's.
I have to stay with him,
he lives alone--
We've only got
two sessions left.
We all have demons, Merit.
But you don't have
to face them alone.
(line beeps)
-Why is that guy so
obsessed with you? -Ew.
Guess you still got it.
Oh, please.
Still got it.
(chuckles)
(muffled footsteps)
(clattering)
(soft clattering continues)
(birds chirping)
(muffled clattering)
ZOE:
Verl.
Damn, what a name. Hmm.
1927 to 1944.
-What is that?
Probably died on D-Day.
Damn, good for you, Verl.
Don't say that.
What? I can joke about the dead.
These are my people.
(Weedwacker whirring)
-What is that?
-Whatever it is, let it go.
I said let it go.
-Hey!
-(Weedwacker continues loudly)
Hey! Hey!
Holy shit.
Sorry.
Whew.
-(laughs)
-What the hell are you doing?
Oh, man, you scared me. Hi.
This is a cemetery.
Yeah, thank you
for the observation.
You're noise polluting
and you're disturbing
the visitors.
To be fair, there's one visitor,
singular, and, uh,
how do you know
you're not disturbing me?
Look, guy...
My name's Alex.
It's not even 8:00 a.m.
I'm sorry, did I wake you?
Were you-- were you sleeping
behind a grave over there?
What's going on?
Right now in the morning,
when it's early before work,
that's-that's when
I'm free, okay?
You don't work here?
You're Weedwacking
and you don't work here?
No, my grandparents
are buried over there.
I know what you're thinking.
It's very cool
that I'm descended
from one of the first
Indian families in Portland.
Unless you don't think it's cool
that my Thatha and my Patti
are buried here,
in which case, you're a racist.
(chuckles)
I'm playing,
it's the dandelions.
They grow like damn weeds.
Well, they are a weed.
Yeah, well, I cleaned my, uh,
my grandparents' tombstones,
and they look beautiful,
but then all the other ones
look like shit.
And I-I got this thing
about cleanliness, so...
And then you stomped in
and you started yelling at me.
-It's weirdly...
-Selfless?
-Considerate.
-It's very selfless.
But it's weirdly considerate.
(laughs)
You should get a quieter one.
They're better
for the environment.
You're right, thank you
for the tip, stranger.
-Merit.
-Merit.
Wrap it up, high speed.
Okay, have a good run.
Get a quieter one!
TESSA (over radio): But first,
let me introduce today's guest.
Bill Stokes is the author
of the Birder's
Conservation Handbook.
He's also an ornithologist
at the Oregon
Songbird Initiative.
He joins us today from Portland.
Thanks for talking with us
today, Bill.
BILL:
Thanks, Tessa.
TESSA: Let's talk about
some of the birds
you cover in your book.
(broadcast continues)
Want a hand?
No.
Reckon you'll just tell me
it ought to be replaced.
Isn't that
what your generation does?
Something needs repair,
you just get a new one.
Well, I can't speak
for my generation,
but I was a 63 Bravo,
so I can repair
just about anything.
-There.
-(Merit sighs)
(radio broadcast continues)
Wow, Merit,
you're great at affection.
Well, as long as you're here.
Paper goes in six, remember?
(radio broadcast continues)
We don't live in the city.
We sort our own trash out here.
Paper...
(paper rustling)
...goes in six.
Metal in one, compost in two,
plastic in three, burn in four,
trash in five, paper in six.
Hmm?
Metal, compost, plastic,
burn, trash, paper.
Got it?
Got it.
Do you got it?
I don't got it.
What's the little one for?
Is that just a mystery?
(bee buzzing)
MERIT:
Okay, Mom, I'm on my way.
(line beeps)
(phone chimes)
(sighs)
(paper rustling)
(phone chiming)
Yes, yes.
Hi, sorry I'm late.
My mother called ahead about
a room for Dale Tillman.
Said you need
a family signature.
Where's the sugar-free candy?
We used to...
Oh, hey.
Uh, it was "stranger," right?
-Merit.
-Merit, hi.
-Alex.
-Yeah.
Wow, you remembered.
-So you work here?
-Yup.
Actually, my family
owns the place.
You know, they decided not
to go into the hotel industry
'cause my dad was like,
(silly voice):
"Mm, assisted living.
Recession-proof."
(normal voice):
My dad is apparently Yoda.
I don't know why I did that.
Um...
Would-- uh, would you like
to see the room?
Is that how--
how it normally goes?
People normally wanna see it?
Uh, yeah, unless
they hate their parents,
then they usually just drop 'em
on the curb outside.
(Alex laughs)
-Okay.
-Okay.
Thank you.
Just this way.
Dr. Castro, how you doin'?
So...
Is it, um...
Yeah, it's right up in here.
Here we are.
Closet, bathroom,
and bedroom's back there.
People normally sign right away?
Yeah, it's in high demand.
Yeah, my mom says these rooms
are harder to get into than--
-Yale.
-Yale.
Yeah, let me guess,
did your mom go to Yale?
(sighs)
Can I ask you a question?
Sure.
Is this a good place?
A lot of people wish
they could be in here.
My grandfather's particular.
My grandmother...
when she died,
he became a different version
of himself, you know?
Not worse, but... not better.
It's like when you lose someone,
you don't know who you are
without 'em.
You want to know
if he'll find a home here.
-Yeah.
-It's a hard decision.
Um...
Take a few days
to think about it.
And, uh,
I'm not supposed to do this,
but I'll-I'll hold
the room for you.
-Really?
-Yeah.
I mean, even the Yale
of assisted livings
has an A-list.
-You're scared of my mom.
-I'm terrified.
-Thank you.
-Mm-hmm.
Hey, I know-- I know--
I know you don't like noise,
and I'm guessing you probably
don't like people either,
but sometimes I go to this
bar called the WildHorse.
Sometimes, um,
like tonight around 8:00-ish.
-Okay.
-Okay.
(door opens)
(birds chirping)
ZOE:
So, you're really thinking about
taking him away from this place?
(Merit sighs)
(cans clattering)
Oh, what the hell?
MERIT:
Grandpa?
(cans clattering)
You all right?
Not especially, no.
'Cause paper goes
in goddamn six.
Metal, compost, plastic,
burn, trash, paper.
Is that hard?
Is that impossible?
You know, you come here,
you eat my food,
you use my water.
Fine, have at it.
But it defies imagination
that you and I were in
the same branch of the service.
If you'd learned anything
in the Army,
you'd have learned respect.
Do you think I'm crazy?
Your mother thinks I'm crazy.
Fine! But as long as you're
under my roof,
paper goes in goddamn six!
Clean it up!
(flies buzzing)
(sighing)
Where does plastic go again?
(utensils clinking)
ZOE: You know, I've read
about us vets getting PTSD,
but good for your granddad.
Not a lot of vets
trying to give PTSD.
You sure about this?
He's just angry.
But he is not gonna
-scare me off.
-(door closes)
(muffled radio playing)
Gran--
(microwave beeps, whirs)
(can pops)
(microwave beeping)
(microwave door opens)
How's it going over there?
(muffled radio playing)
MERIT:
Hmm.
It-it can be complicated,
the trash system.
How's that bird feeder
repair going?
Oh, it's going.
You're really gonna go
meet this guy,
the weed whacker?
I just thought it would be...
good to...
I don't know,
get a change of scenery.
You mean
you don't want to see me.
-It's just for tonight.
-Mm.
What if he's a murderer?
You don't think he would've
murdered me when we were alone?
Like in the cemetery?
It's just for tonight,
I promise.
Just for tonight.
NEWSCASTER: The forecast that
we have up at Mount Hood today,
-we are going to stay sunny...
-(footsteps)
(pan sizzling)
(TV chatter continues)
(flagpole clanging)
ZOE: They were supposed
to be kids, but I think
they're actually
like adult women.
-Really?
-I'm not even kidding.
The handwriting, you can tell.
(laughs)
The Dynamic Duo.
Hey, Ramirez.
Fuck off, Lewis.
MERIT:
What's up?
Green to green.
Threatcon got bumped up
to amber.
Some jackass from first platoon
said there's a sniper out there.
Look, we didn't see anything.
Sounds like the bogeyman.
Sergeant Charles,
you girls gonna be okay
out there?
-Listen, Ser--
-Hey, you talk to her
like that one more time,
I'm gonna make you wish
that sniper got you.
What'd you just say to me?
You heard me.
See me after your shift,
Specialist.
Ooh.
Bye, Ramirez.
(distant helicopter blades
whirring)
You didn't have to do that.
That guy's a fuckin' dork.
Well, at any rate...
So...
Your cousin.
Yeah, I think
he's moving to Florida.
Okay, you think you'll go?
What, and leave all this?
Right.
It's not like
you're gonna reenlist.
I don't know, maybe.
Why would you reenlist?
I don't know, Merit,
maybe because it's an option
that's actually available to me.
(rock clatters)
I see you talk about
your grandma and your grandpa,
and I think to myself,
"Man, she's got a home,
"she's got a family,
she's got a...
a whole life with meaning
to go back to," you know?
I bet when you take
those career tests,
you don't even think
about how expensive
the results are,
how much it would cost
to be an artist
or a psychologist.
Do you want to be an artist
or a psychologist?
-Because you could be.
-No.
No, I can't, Merit,
that's my point.
The world is not
my fucking oyster.
You think the world
is my oyster?
I'm a Black woman in America.
With a lake house.
It's my grandparents'
lake house.
It is not mine.
Still a lake house.
Don't worry,
nothing is set in stone yet.
Your aim is definitely
not set in stone.
Oh, shut up.
(muffled music playing)
(indistinct chatter)
Good times
Love this scene...
(arcade game chiming)
(music continues faintly)
Hey.
Hi. You...
I didn't think, um...
You want to sit down?
Uh, yeah.
Sorry, I ordered already.
Um, I didn't...
I'm a natural pessimist.
-Me, too.
-Yeah.
To be honest, I wasn't sure
if you were too good to be true
'cause in my line of work,
the women I usually
talk to are...
You know, they remember
where they were
when we stormed Normandy.
Have-have you ever played
Buck Hunter?
No.
VIDEO GAME VOICE:
That's one, that's two.
That's all three.
You nailed it!
That's a new record!
Well, damn.
If I knew I was playing
with a sniper,
I'd have dressed up.
Light-wheel mechanic, actually.
There it is, military service.
I'm impressed 'cause, you know,
I actually talked
to a woman today
who drafted the Truman Doctrine.
How could I ever compete
with that? (chuckles)
How'd you get into the military?
My grandfather, actually.
Oh, our prospective resident.
That's right.
Retired 22 years from the Army.
Lieutenant colonel.
Two tours in Vietnam.
(gunshot sound effects)
He used to let me play
with his medals
and his patches.
He would sit me down,
tell me a story
about each one of them.
I was just talking about this.
But every Fourth of July,
my entire family would stay
at my grandparents' lake house
and we would drive into town
for music in the park.
-Yeah, every year, of course.
-The fireworks.
And the local chamber orchestra,
you know, would play
the "Battle Hymn."
-If you served-- yeah.
-Yeah.
You stand up.
I remember every year
my grandpa would get up
out of his...
his old folding chair
and he would tip his hat
to everybody.
-That's so cool.
-Yeah.
VIDEO GAME VOICE:
There's a new sheriff in town.
First to fight for the right
And to build
the Nation's might
-What?
-And the Army
BOTH:
Goes rolling along.
How-- Who-who taught you that?
Miss Truman Doctrine
taught you that, huh?
No, she can't sing.
Like, seriously,
you should see her
on karaoke night, it hurts.
My parents, however,
uh, well, we just had
the immigrant experience
where you double down
on being American, you know?
So we celebrate every holiday,
and my dad loves fireworks
and hot dogs.
So, I mean, you put
a firework in a bun
-and that would blow his mind.
-(laughing)
All right, let's see
what I can do.
-Are you ready?
-I'm ready, let me see.
Okay, oof, oof, oof.
VIDEO GAME VOICE:
Oh, no, he got away.
-ALEX: Mm-hmm.
-Pick a spot.
You need spectacles.
Okay, so, so, so,
you know, zero...
-Well...
-...deer.
-Um...
-I-I shoot around them.
-I'm a pacifist...
-Right.
...so you help them scatter
so they can be free.
(laughing)
You're way better at this
than I am.
Well, you're-you're a pacifist.
Indeed, I am.
So, um, so...
-Drinks?
-Yes.
-Probably?
-Yeah, I'm sure they're ready.
-Food, probably not.
-Okay.
Yeah, we might have to wait
till tomorrow for that.
(laughing)
(indistinct chatter)
Hey, you.
Zeke...
You-you seen Merit?
Sorry, Dr. Cole.
Have you always lived
in Molalla?
Molalla?
Yeah.
(laughs)
I was born and raised here.
Um, and then my dad, of course,
wanted me to take over
the family business
at Shady Acres, um,
but I did, I moved away
for a little while
when I got married.
When you got-- what?
Uh, formerly married.
Formerly married.
Oh. (chuckles)
Six years.
You were married for six years,
or you've been divorced
for six years?
Actually, both.
That's a long time.
(chuckles weakly)
Sorry, d--
Does that--
does that make you nervous
-to talk about the past?
-What? No.
No, I'm not nervous
about the past.
I'm-I'm...
I'm, uh, well,
I'm nervous about you, so...
(laughs softly)
Indian people aren't
supposed to get divorced.
It's definitely not
in the job description,
so, um, I was-- I was just--
I was so ashamed.
I'd felt like I'd failed
at marriage,
and it, um...
Mm, it, uh, it had-- it had
a power over me and, um...
But then, you know, I just--
Fuck it, I started
talking about it.
It helped.
Yeah, I mean, it's not perfect.
I still have PTSD
from my marriage.
I mean, oh my God,
I can hear her just...
I'm so sorry,
that was so insensitive.
-Oh, no. It's all good.
-No.
No, there's no reason
for me to say that.
You can relax, the military
doesn't own PTSD.
We do happen to be
the best at it, though.
(laughs):
Okay.
How about you?
Do you-- do you have
any war stories?
Yeah.
Yeah, I do.
Um...
Kind of
third-wheeling it tonight.
(indistinct chatter)
Yeah, actually.
Uh, when I was over there,
um, Afghanistan, um...
-(buzzing)
-Actually,
when I-- when I came back...
(static crackling)
(laughing)
Um, I...
(static crackling)
-(screaming)
-(gasps)
ALEX:
Merit, are you...
Hey, it's okay.
Are you all right?
Are you okay?
-Um...
-I'm-I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, if, uh...
It's okay, it's okay.
-I gotta go.
-It's okay.
(panting)
-What was that?
-What was what?
(groans angrily)
Why would you ruin that? Why?
Zoe!
That was my first date since...
Since what?
Something traumatic
happened to you?
(indistinct radio chatter)
Get the fuck
out of my face, Zoe.
Get the fuck out of my face!
Damn, Merit,
never could take a joke.
(vehicle door opens, closes)
(crickets chirring)
(TV playing indistinctly)
Oh, my God.
Grandpa?
-(moans)
-Oh, my God.
Grandpa, hey, hey.
What?
What happened?
Um...
Oh, my God, you're bleeding.
I'm fine.
Wait, are you-- are you sure?
-Here, can you get up?
-I can get up.
I just didn't feel like it.
-Where were ya?
-I was out.
Well, I could've used you here.
-Here.
-I'm-I'm fine.
I'm fine.
(TV chatter continues)
I'm fine.
(exhales sharply)
Thank goodness someone was there
to bring you back home.
(P.A. beeps)
(indistinct P.A. announcement)
(phone ringing)
(indistinct chatter)
-Hey, Mom.
-Hey, sweetheart.
What are you up to?
Nothing, nothing.
Just, um...
hanging out with Grandpa
at the lake.
Just, um, watching the geese.
Well, that's great,
I'm glad you have time.
So, I-I was thinking
the realtor could
-come by this afternoon at 2:00.
-(line beeping)
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Please leave your message...
(beeps)
You know, when we met,
I was sure
you were going
to do the work, Merit.
(distant train horn blows)
Guess it's never too late
to be surprised, hmm?
KRIS:
Merit?
-Hello? Are you there?
-Yeah, yeah, I'm here.
Okay, great,
so 2:00 then, all right?
2:00, they'll be there.
Thanks so much, honey.
They'll see you at 2:00, bye.
(line beeps)
It's a gorgeous day.
We should take
the pontoon boat out
this afternoon, get some sun.
The bird feeder
still needs fixing.
Okay, well, we can go into town
and shop for new bird feeders.
I got what I need.
Maybe not new ones, but...
No, that would be crazy.
...parts.
What is this?
Uh-oh.
It's an iPod, Grandpa, remember?
Plays music.
Let me see it.
I put some new music
on it for you.
(rock music plays)
(chuckling)
Not bad.
Still, I've seen AN/PRC-25
field radios in the trash
that were capable
of playing music.
That funny feeling
I call the fever
Seems I've had it
for 18 years
I thought I felt all right,
but then it happened...
(muffled music continues)
-(engine turns off)
-(music stops)
(birds chirping)
(phone chiming)
You sure about the pontoon boat?
Yeah, I'm sure.
(TV playing indistinctly)
Wow. Your grandpa is just
putting shit everywhere,
isn't he?
Hmm.
Ooh.
These expired in 2012.
I would still eat them, though.
You know, my abuelo
was stubborn as hell, too.
-You don't have to...
-No, no, really, he was.
I mean, he loved us kids,
but anything we wanted
to do was "no."
"Want to go to the movies?"
"No."
"Ice cream?"
"No."
Even shit he wanted to do
he wouldn't do.
One time, I stole
a Reader's Digest
from the library, and it had
something on the cover like,
"A hundred fun things
to do with your grandkids,"
and I put it in our mailbox
and just, like, pretended
it got delivered
to the wrong address,
and that con worked
like a charm.
We had ice cream that afternoon.
Zoe, you're a genius.
Thank you.
Wait, why?
Listen, my abuelo
was kind of dumb,
and that was just ice cream.
I don't think this is
gonna work the same way.
No, it's gonna work.
We just...
just gotta make
the ice cream his idea.
Well, can we actually get
ice cream afterwards?
'Cause now we've said it
so many times,
I really want some.
(beeps)
(ignition sputtering)
-(beeps)
-(ignition sputtering)
-(beeps)
-(ignition sputtering)
What in God's green hell
is that?
-(beeps)
-(ignition sputtering)
DALE:
(sighs) Jesus.
Goddamn it, Emmy!
What...
-Jesus Christ.
-Ooh, you did it now.
This is the plan.
-You're gonna flood it.
-(ignition sputtering)
-(engine starts)
-There it goes.
(Dale sighs)
Be a shame to squander
a beautiful day like this.
Get in your seat.
You're on rocks lookout.
Charlie Mike.
(sighing, grunting)
(engine purring)
(engine slows)
(birds chirping)
So...
What's the plan then?
-The plan?
-Yeah, you and your mom,
I'm sure there's
some scheme afloat.
She's just worried about you.
DALE:
Yeah, what about you?
I just want you to be happy.
I've actually been meaning
to talk to you
about the cabin.
You know, your grandma,
she loved this lake.
Especially in the wintertime.
She thought
it was prettiest then.
Always preferred
the summers myself.
"Too damn muggy," she'd say.
"Didn't you get
enough humidity in Vietnam?"
That was her one Vietnam joke.
(chuckles)
That's what I think about now...
hot days like today.
That's why your
little snot-nosed ass
used to spend all those summers
out here with me.
You didn't talk much, and you...
...you were a deadeye
on rocks lookout.
Perfect fisherman's mate.
I loved it.
I love being out here.
Why haven't we seen you
in so long?
I thought for sure
you'd have shown up
during your grandma's
final days.
At her funeral.
(whispers):
Do not tell him.
I've... I've been dealing
with some things...
...from over there.
Yeah, let me guess...
PTSD?
You Iraq and Afghan vets,
you know, your whole
entitled generation really,
blame everything on something
or someone else.
You know, when we came back,
we didn't have any PTSD
to blame everything on.
Call it what you want.
Combat stress,
shell shock, whatever.
Goddamn it, don't "whatever" me,
young lady.
Our wars were not the same.
I read in the Army Times
that people line up
at the airports and greet
each and every one of you
when you return home from duty.
Is that true?
Did that happen to you?
You know what happened to me?
I had to change out
of my uniform at SFO
in a public bathroom.
And I still got spit on.
My short hair
and my green duffel,
that's how they knew
I was a "baby killer."
I didn't know that.
You never talked about it.
Well, why would I?
Why burden any of you with that?
That's-that's
what a soldier does.
We go out and do things
nobody else wants to do.
And we suck it up.
Well, I am sucking it up.
Believe me.
We have each other, you know.
Us veterans.
You know, maybe I didn't talk
about my war with you guys,
but I sure as hell talked
about it down at the VFW.
Even brought your mom
a few times on bingo night
when she was just knee high
to a grasshopper.
I bet she took bingo
very seriously.
She played four boards
at a time.
She used to yell at us
for talking too much.
I should've been here.
Okay, Em, why don't you
come on over here
and steer us home?
Yes, sir.
(birds chirping)
(microwave beeping)
(grunts)
Thanks.
(sighs)
I thought you only ate
that guten-free stuff.
Why, because I live in the city?
I'm still your granddaughter.
Yeah, you're gonna have
to speak up, darlin'.
Everybody talks
so quietly these days.
Jesus.
So, the Fourth of July
celebration,
and craft show, is tomorrow.
You mean the crap show?
I know you have everything
that you need here, but...
I thought maybe we could go
to Roy Purdy's booth?
I'll bet he has some spare parts
to fix that bird feeder
-of yours.
-Mmm, perhaps.
I could drive us in.
First thing in the morning.
I'm goin' to bed.
(groans)
Not really hungry.
Yeah, hi, I'm Richard,
semper fi.
I was a Marine lieutenant
in Vietnam.
Platoon commander, combat type.
Navy commander, trauma surgeon.
I work the ER over
at St. John's.
Army, staff sergeant, OIF1.
I was deployed to Iraq twice
and Afghanistan once
and now I'm a teacher.
Going back to school,
get my MBA.
You know, proving
that all Marines aren't dumb.
Now I work in finance,
but I hate it.
So, um, I tried to find
something that I do love now
and it turns out
that's stand-up comedy,
so I've been giving that a try.
"Being in the military's
a lot like being Asian.
"We all kinda look alike
and everybody thinks
we're the Marines."
The world has this
impression of who we are
when we say that we're veterans.
Trying vulnerability
and talking to my friends,
but realizing, like...
(exhales)
I can't tell them about
the things that I've done or--
Eh, all this Iraq
and Afghanistan stuff
has brought up
some old tapes for me.
So, I wanted to come here
and share with you
what I could and--
I've lost more guys
back home, though,
than I did in Iraq.
Thanks, James.
(humming)
(phone ringing)
-Hey.
-ALEX: Hey.
Sorry, I haven't gotten back
to you about the room.
Yeah, no, it's cool.
You still got two days anyways.
I wasn't calling about that.
I was just... I was just
checking on you, soldier,
um, 'cause last night, uh...
Yeah, uh...
Yeah, I'm-I'm-I'm sorry,
I don't--
Look, I'm a forgiving
and noble man.
So, you're good.
Yeah, and-and considerate.
And I'm also handsome
and I do my taxes
on time, usually, so...
(chuckling)
Um, when can I see you again?
How about
the Fourth of July thing?
You going to that?
Yeah, well, I hope so.
Yeah, okay, uh, well, um,
thanks for picking up.
And, um, good night, Merit.
Good night.
Shit... you scared me, Zoe.
I'm your shadow.
Boo!
Where else would I be?
Hey, um...
next time you want to tell
your granddad about me,
why don't you tell him about
your big plans for him instead?
How you're going to take him
away from his home,
his boat and his birds,
and stick him in
a septuagenarian purgatory
where he'll die confused
and alone.
Coward.
(birds chirping)
(thumping)
(sprinklers spritzing)
You got any other tunes
on this thing?
Sir, yes, sir.
("Dream Machine"
by Daniel Edwardson playing)
Fine, this one is a good one.
Once I had a dream
that made me sad
Made me sad
How so many people
can be bad
Everybody wants
all they can grab
They can grab
No one's ever happy
with their share
We're all here until
we know not when
Not when
Love has gone
and won't come back again.
There's Roy.
Well, I'll be.
Is that Dale?
-You're damn right it is.
-(chuckles)
How the hell are ya, Roy?
Oh, you know, can't complain.
Good to see you.
Ah, we haven't seen you
since Angela passed.
How you been holding up?
Oh, fine.
-Doing fine.
-Uh-huh.
Listen, Roy,
I need some material
for an old finch feeder
I've got.
I've had it for years
and the damn thing's
falling apart on me.
What do you think
about a new one, huh?
Well, what do you got?
-I thought you didn't want--
-Oh, hush.
-ROY: You must be--
-Merit.
Merit!
That's my granddaughter.
She lives in the city.
I don't believe it.
Wow.
Last time I saw you,
you were about this high,
playing with G.I. Joes.
What are you up to these days?
Not much.
DALE:
She was in Afghanistan.
Lightweight vehicle mechanic.
And then, they stuck her
on some outpost
near the Pakistan border
pulling guard duty detail
for the 10th Mountain grunts.
Army's run by a bunch
of yahoos these days.
Well, thank you
for your service.
Welcome home, young lady.
Thank you very much.
How much is this one?
$40.
For you, Dale, 50.
(chuckling)
Well, fine.
-We'll take it.
-Good.
Do you have money?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think so.
-Good to see ya, Roy.
-Good to see you.
-It's 40.
Sticking you with the bill, huh?
Doesn't he know you're broke?
We will continue
tonight's program
with a salute
to our nation's veterans.
As is our tradition,
if you've served
or are currently serving,
when you hear
your branch's song played,
please stand
and be recognized.
(band playing)
March along
Sing our song
With the army of the free
Count the brave,
count the true
Who have fought to victory
We're the Army and proud
of our name
We're the Army
and proudly proclaim...
First to fight,
for the right
And to build
the Nation's might
And the Army
goes rolling along
Proud of all we have done
Fighting till
the battle's won
And the Army
goes rolling along
Then it's hi, hi, hey
The Army's on its way
Count off the cadence loud
and strong
For where'er we go,
you will always know
That the Army
goes rolling along.
(applause and cheering)
(chatter and laughter)
MERIT: Seems like
right up here is good, yeah?
Yeah, fine.
Hey, Merit?
Hey!
What's up, stranger?
Hey.
You look, uh, um...
Hi, uh...
You must be the colonel.
Lieutenant colonel.
Retired.
Who are you?
Uh, hi, I'm Alex,
Manager First Class,
Shady Acres
Assisted Living Facility.
Come again? What?
That's a retirement home, right?
I...
(stammering)
How do you two know each other?
Uh, uh, we-we, uh...
we met at-at-at...
(slams chair)
Grandpa.
(spits)
Traitor!
-Fuck.
-I'm sorry, I didn't know.
Of course you didn't!
Hey, don't you think you
should give him some space?
What?
You used to be so good
at giving him space.
Zoe, let me go.
Grandpa!
Grandpa!
(fireworks exploding)
MERIT:
Get back inside!
What is wrong with you? Stop!
-Get back inside, now!
-Why?
No, no!
(panting)
Mom?
I...
uh...
Grandpa, uh...
Yeah, don't worry.
He's here.
He's here?
He's in bed and he is resting.
Oh, thank God!
I'm sorry, okay?
It's-- Listen,
listen to me, Mom.
He got-- he got upset.
It was so fast, he walked away--
Merit, stop.
I can't.
We'll talk in the morning.
(indistinct radio chatter)
(snaps)
Hey... hey!
Hey, you gonna get that?
I'll get it.
S-O-G, this is ECP1.
Green to green, over.
(indistinct radio chatter)
I actually get why
you want to reenlist.
Mmm?
But you're wrong.
Why?
Aren't you the one that calls us
Imperial Storm Troopers
tricked into modern colonialism?
Well, it's not not true.
What about you could,
uh, I don't know, die?
Well, then I will die in
a blaze of glory, I hope.
Oh, fuck you.
Oof!
Small words
from the college girl.
All right, I got
a question for you then.
Do you think we would be...
friends back home?
Where even is home for you?
You don't ever talk about it.
Just answer me.
Do you think
we would be friends?
Of course we would.
Okay, then how would
it work, like,
honestly, how would it work?
Like, would we see
each other once a year
and then, like, random calls,
and, I don't know,
just eventually end up
just liking each other's
Facebook posts and shit?
I mean, yeah, why... why not?
We can-- we can
do whatever we want.
Friendships evolve.
Why don't you explain
where this is coming from?
I'm just being realistic.
I don't think
you can explain yourself,
even if you wanted to.
I have been explaining myself.
I told you, it's--
Not everybody has
a happy fuckin' home
to go back to, Merit.
These are excuses, Zoe.
You need to be honest.
Honest about what?
That-that you're scared!
You are scared
of what comes next.
You wanna know where
your meals are coming from,
you wanna be told
what to do every day.
Okay... you think I'm scared?
I think you're terrified.
(scoffs)
(gate buzzing)
What are you doing?
-Where are you going?
-What do you care?
(dog barking)
(indistinct radio chatter)
Zoe.
What? Stop it!
Zoe!
Zoe!
(birds chirping)
Mom was right,
you do feed them too much.
You, your mother, Merit,
you all seem to know
a lot about what's best for me.
They are looking kind of big.
(laughs):
They're huge.
Nice, having you
and your mom around, honey.
Dad, Mom isn't here.
Your mother and I,
for 22 years,
went wherever the Army sent me.
And then we bought this place.
Together.
Your mother wanted it
to stay in the family.
I told you...
I'm not planning
on letting her down.
Long as I'm breathing,
I'm staying put.
-Mom...
-You know, when the hospital
called me
to approve new medication
for your grandpa,
I thanked them.
I told them I was so happy
you were there as a proxy.
And then when
they told me you were there
'cause your grandfather
fell again
and I said, "Oh, I know,
no, Merit told me."
Mom...
You lied to me.
Your grandfather
can't live on his own.
I love you, Merit,
but you've made a mess.
(buzzing)
(speech garbled over radio)
What is wrong with you?
Stop!
Now, get back inside.
(panting)
(dialogue inaudible)
Getting us both
fucking killed out here?
-Get back inside now.
-No!
Stop this, why are you acting
like your life
doesn't mean anything?
It doesn't,
none of this means anything.
-Yes it does, stop.
-Why?
Because I love you
and I care about you.
Zoe, you're so big
and your whole life
is ahead of you
and you don't even see it.
What life?
We'll make it work.
We will make it work.
Okay?
After the Army.
We'll figure it out.
I swear.
Zoe!
You swore.
Isn't that what you said?
Me and you? You got me?
I didn't reenlist
because of you.
I believed you.
I know.
I know, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I convinced you
not to reenlist.
I'm sorry I didn't see
how badly you were doing.
And I am so sorry,
I am so sorry I didn't pick up.
MAN: On behalf of the President
of the United States,
the United States Army,
and a grateful nation,
please accept
this flag as a symbol
of our appreciation
for your loved one's
honorable and faithful service.
(sobbing):
I hate my-- I hate myself.
I hate myself for it.
You, uh--
Say it.
You would still be alive
if it weren't for me.
You can't tell anyone.
I know,
and it's breaking me, Zoe.
(crying)
It's breaking me worse
than I'm already broken,
I have to.
If you tell them,
you will lose me forever.
And I will never,
ever forgive you.
No...
But Zoe would have.
(Merit gasping and sobbing)
(laughing)
Huh.
Mom!
Wait, you can't sign these.
Merit, what are you doing?
I'm sorry, can--
I need to stop you.
-Hi.
-Hi.
Can I talk to you for a second?
-Um, yeah.
-Just over... over here.
-Just...
-I promise you I'll explain.
I will explain,
just please don't sign them.
-Hey. So, sorry. It's...
-What?
Look, I know,
I know, I'm gonna...
Um...
-I'm sorry.
-What?
I'm sorry for everything
-at the bar.
-At the bar?
I'm sorry about the park,
I-I didn't know.
Oh, it's okay, I...
I should've told him.
But thank you and...
I'm working through
a lot of stuff right now.
And, um,
I'm gonna get through it.
-Yeah.
-So...
Second chance?
You're being a goofball.
Okay?
Y-Your mom's looking at us.
-MERIT: Yes, she is.
-ALEX: Yeah.
Okay, all right, I'm gonna...
-Yeah.
-Yeah, okay.
Okay, okay, Mom, listen. Um...
Yeah. Don't sign these.
(vehicle approaching)
Should've used the Loctite,
much better glue.
I would, Grandpa,
if you would store it
in a normal location.
Tell him the news.
You're not going to Shady Acres.
No shit.
I'd like to stay here.
Where?
Here. With you.
I can help you around the house,
I could fix stuff,
drive you places.
Build you an organizer
for your glues.
(Dale sighs)
You should start
with the water heater.
You gonna be taking
those long-ass showers,
we'll need it in tip-top.
(chuckles)
All right.
(Merit chuckles)
You sure about this?
I am sure.
-Okay, yeah.
-Oh!
I gotta go, um,
I have so much to tell you both,
but I have to go now.
I'll be back as soon as I can.
Where the hell's she going?
-I don't know.
-(vehicle door opens, closes)
And that's when
you need me there
With you I'll always share
Because when the sun--
-(music stops)
-No! Fuck!
If this thing dies one more time
I'm just gonna kill myself.
Don't do that,
what would I do without you?
Well, you know, you'll get
your own umbrella I guess.
(both laughing)
-Come on, hurry up.
-I got it, I got it-- ready?
When the sun shines,
we'll shine together
Told you
I'll be here forever
-Said I'll al--
-(music stops)
Let me see it,
just give it to me.
(Zoe sighs)
Come on.
Said I'll always be a friend
Took an oath, gonna
stick it out to the end
Now that it's raining
more than ever
Told you we'll
still have each other
You can stand
under my umbrella
You can stand under
my umbrella
Ella, ella, eh, eh, eh
Under my umbrella
Ella, ella, eh, eh, eh
Under my umbrella.
We'd been back home
for about four years.
-He was like the coolest
dude ever... -(door opens)
...and the last person
you'd ever think that...
Surprised to see you.
Never too late to be surprised.
We'll see.
Sorry, James.
It's fine.
Do you want to...
You ready?
My name is Merit.
Served eight years in the Army.
63 Bravo, light-wheel mechanic.
Deployed to Afghanistan in 2016.
And why I'm here...
It's not an incident.
It's a person.
Her name was Zoe.
I've lived my life
Awaking with the dawn
Working on this house
to make it a home
Some kind of wild protection,
although it doesn't
really do jack,
but it makes me feel more
comforting on the inside.
-Did you serve your country?
-Roger, I'm really proud.
You know...
Looking out
Feet on the sunlit ground
Oh, I'm a beautiful ruin
Memories of loss in my chest
I thought
they'd be my undoing
But I'm scared
to death I'll forget
I'm scared to death
I'll forget
I felt it in my bones,
the storm had broken
A house
with shattered windows
Still lets the light in
Lately I've been thinking
of starting a garden
Watching it grow
Breathing
Letting you go
Oh, I'm a beautiful ruin
Memories of loss in my chest
I thought
they'd be my undoing
But I'm scared
to death I'll forget
I'm scared to death
I'll forget
Forget.
("On a Hill"
by Phinisey playing)
I'm out of breath
Gave it all, nothing left
Didn't fall, I told you
Didn't I?
Just do, you'll be fine
I'm running
Hurting
Pushing
I got it, though
You breathing
You mean it
She is just how I know
I'm standing on a hill
Looking up, looking down
Wanna remember how it feels
Don't forget to look around
It's amazing
Oh, amazing
Oh, oh, oh, oh
But tomorrow
Tomorrow's another day
So we get low
Go home, don't fade away
I'm not done, not empty
Got more blood inside of me
Full lungs, inhale deep
Exhale all the chattering
Fighting
Another one
Keep it up
Until it's done
Taking ground
From me
Making sounds
and moving my feet
I'm standing on a hill
Looking up, looking down
Wanna remember how it feels
Don't forget to look around
It's amazing
Oh, amazing
Oh, oh, oh, oh
But tomorrow
Tomorrow's another day
So we get low
Go home, don't fade away
But tomorrow
Tomorrow's another day
So we get low
Go home, don't fade away
Tomorrow
Tomorrow's another day
So we get low
Go home, don't fade away
But tomorrow
Tomorrow's another day.
(grand orchestral fanfare
playing)
(overlapping chatter)
(indistinct radio transmission)
(vehicles trundling)
(indistinct radio transmission)
No clouds in my stones
Let it rain
I hydroplane in the bank
Comin' down
like the Dow Jones...
(helicopter blades whirring)
We fly higher than weather
In G5s or better
You know me
In anticipation
for precipitation
Stack chips
for the rainy day
Jay, Rain Man is back
With Little Ms. Sunshine
Rihanna, where you at?
(singing along):
You have my heart
And we'll never be
worlds apart
Maybe in magazines
But you'll still be my star
Baby, 'cause in the dark
You can't see shiny cars
And that's when
you need me there
(music stops)
-No!
-Aww.
I thought you fixed it!
(exclaims)
-Zoe.
-Mm?
-Come on.
-Sorry. Here.
Oh, come on, Captain America,
we're in a war zone.
Just... live a little.
It's not like
-anyone's gonna come, anyway.
-(banging)
-Oh, shit, shit, shit!
-Shh!
(helicopter passing)
-Shit!
-Shit! (mutters)
(window thuds)
Aw, fuck.
Hey, Ramirez.
I see you are filling out
that blouse quite nicely.
Ew. God, you are
such a mouth-breather.
Hey, Charles!
Lookin' as pretty as ever.
Mm-mm.
What do you want, Lewis?
Oh, um, Sergeant Shepherd's
on his way.
-For real?
-Yep.
Cool, okay.
Fuck off, Lewis.
Geez! I was just trying to help.
Fuck off!
-Can I call you? Call me?
-No!
-Ugh!
-All right.
No, no, no, no,
wait, wait, wait,
let me just finish the song,
I just-- I can fix it.
-Zoe.
-I can fix it,
I can fix it, I can fix it.
Just let me just do this,
and I think,
if I just hold this like this...
I got it, I got it,
I got it-- ready?
I'll always share
BOTH:
Because...
When the sun shines,
we'll shine together.
ZOE: You believe Ventura got
medevacked out of here
for that tiny little
fuckin' scratch?
She almost got blown up.
I just hope that
everything is okay
with her...
You know.
-Her internal organs?
-No, her tits.
She's got great tits.
So, she might have PTSD
and need therapy,
but at least
her tits are all right.
Yeah.
They're important.
(Merit sighs)
Can you promise me something?
Can you promise me
we won't get, like,
fucked up?
That's too easy.
Taliban can't touch this.
Come on.
No, I mean, like, in the head.
You already fucked up
in the head,
so what does that mean?
Merit, I'm serious!
What are you saying?
I'm saying that
if you ever catch me
in some sort of, like,
dopey-ass, PTSD
group therapy bullshit,
or any kind of therapy,
you have permission
to fucking kill me.
DR. COLE:
So, we're all here?
Good.
Who wants to start?
James.
Uh...
James.
Sergeant, Marine Corps.
2004, Al Anbar Province in Iraq.
Um, our job was
to go look for IEDs,
find the guys
putting 'em out there.
-Cool story, bro.
-Shh!
Merit?
-Everything okay?
-Mm...
Mm-hmm. Yes, sir.
Go on, James.
The, uh, negative,
unhelpful feelings
that I'm trying
to process from that day
are, um... um...
Oh, my God.
James, okay, okay.
Aren't we better than this--
than this woe-is-me shit?
Didn't we join the most powerful
military of all time,
did we survive the dumbest wars
of all time,
just to sit here broken
and all "Kumbaya"
and, oh,
"Oh, gee, my feelings"?
No! Fuck!
Get it together! God!
Ugh!
-Let's get out of here.
-Be quiet.
-I'm listening.
-Merit?
I'm sorry.
I'm so-- I'm so...
I'm sorry, James.
Uh, sorry, James. Go on.
(birds chirping)
(distant voices)
(door opens, closes)
(sighs)
Good work.
(indistinct chatter)
I can't sign that.
I was here.
Yeah, you were here, physically.
But you didn't share,
you didn't give your attention
to the others.
We all have pasts.
You think you're the only one
who doesn't want
to talk about it, Merit?
(Merit sighs softly)
Fuck anybody else
They don't know
What
we been through
Fuck anybody else
They don't know
What the world did to you
Fuck what they say
They really got
nothing good to say
Anyway, anytime, any place
Fuck every one of them
They ain't none of
our friends
All we need is this
Two of us and a full clip
No, they don't want beef
They don't want nails, teeth
They don't want knuckles, no
They don't wanna bleed
But I come for blood
'Cause I fuckin' love you,
yeah
Yeah, I'm crazy
Crazy enough to say
I'm crazy enough to swear
I'll die for you, yeah
They don't know shit
Don't know who
they're fuckin' with
It's the power couple, ah.
(panting)
(tags jingle)
Honey, you're home!
(exclaims)
It's 8:00 a.m.
Do you know why
people hate runners?
Flat stomachs?
Sculpted legs?
It's selfish.
It's a selfish sport.
What the hell
am I supposed to do
while you're gone?
You could work on our puzzle.
Man. That VA counselor guy,
what a dick.
Mm!
I just had a genius idea.
We watch MASH again,
but it's a drinking game.
-(phone ringing)
-Shit! That is not a no.
Ugh. Why does she
always FaceTime?
It's so creepy.
-Hi, Mom.
-KRIS: Is talking
to your mother
really that dreadful?
No, Mom, it's...
How's China?
I'm in Hong Kong, honey.
-There's a difference.
-Is there?
I mean, they had some
limited autonomy then.
So, how's the warehouse job?
How's your life, boyfriend?
Any friends?
Mom, please. Stop.
I'm sure you called
because you need something.
I'm your mother, I'm allowed
to ask about your life.
Okay, so what
did you call about?
I need something.
-I knew it.
-ZOE: I knew it!
It's your Grandpa Dale.
They found him wandering.
What do you mean, wandering?
Kwan found him
way out at her place.
She took him to the hospital.
-Okay, so he's okay, then.
-No, he's not--
I just told you that your
grandpa was in the hospital.
What is the matter with you?
Okay, Mom, I...
Sorry.
I gotta go.
No, no, no-- no.
I need you to go out there,
I need you to go out to the lake
and check in on your grandpa,
-make sure he's all right.
-(exclaims)
It smells like crayon.
(chuckles)
-KRIS: Merit?
-I can't. I, um...
I just started a new group.
-Oh.
-At the VA.
Like therapy, counseling?
-Mm-hmm.
-Did something happen?
No, I...
I chose to.
It's good, it's, it's...
I think it's
really gonna help me,
but I-I can't miss
any sessions, or...
That's wonderful news,
it really is.
I will figure something out
for Grandpa.
I'm really proud of you,
Merit, I really am.
I know your dad would be, too.
Okay, Mom, I gotta go,
I love you.
KRIS:
I love you.
Did you hear back yet?
No.
I'm probably not
even gonna get in.
Come on. Merit, look.
I think college is stupid
and mostly useless,
but you,
you can do anything you want.
So if you want it,
you're gonna get it.
You're the smartest
person I know.
Nine-sixteenths.
Let's see,
what could you major in?
Oh... '90s hip-hop,
you're good at that.
(scoffs)
Lumber sciences,
is that a thing?
Yeah.
Maybe, yeah.
You know, 'cause
your family owns
a Christmas tree farm?
Just thinkin' of the family biz.
You could run that shit
like Santa.
What about you, after this?
I don't know.
-(indistinct chatter)
-(power tools whirring)
You know, you could
do something epic.
Mm-hmm.
Okay. Sure.
DR. COLE: All right.
I thought, for today,
we would try
something different.
Follow the bouncing ball.
This is stupid,
but I'll-I'll play ball.
Hi. My name is Assia.
I was a captain in the Army.
Um...
I was the only female
in every unit I served in.
On my first deployment,
I was not allowed
to stay with my team
where they were sleeping,
and, um,
it was only because
I was a female.
And so, every day,
for our targeting mission,
I had to drive by myself
for six hours.
One direction,
six hours, back.
Um...
And I'm here
because I'm trying
to belong to myself again.
(distant siren wailing)
Try Merit.
(scoffs)
You ready?
My name is Merit.
I was... Army.
ZOE:
You're doing great.
All right. Why don't we
start with an easy one?
Why did you join?
I joined because of my grandpa.
Hmm.
He's retired from the Army
22 years,
lieutenant colonel.
When I was a kid,
we would go to music in the park
on the Fourth of July,
and the band would play
the fight song
for each branch
of the military, you know?
And if you were a veteran,
you would stand
when they played your song.
Can you email me
the rest of this?
When they played the Army song,
my grandpa would stand, and...
I swear, he seemed
a hundred feet tall to me.
And I wanted to be tall
too, you know?
So...
Now tell us why you're here.
(faint blip)
(sighs)
What I wanna talk about
is, is...
is not an incident, it's...
ZOE:
Leave me alone!
It's a-- it's a person.
(door slams)
DR. COLE:
Merit?
Go on.
I don't-- I don't--
I don't feel like it today.
Alicia, Air Force, 14 years.
Security forces.
MP, for you other folks.
(chuckling)
-See you later.
-Yeah.
I'm sorry.
Why?
I shared.
You shared
why you joined the Army.
You did not share
why you are here,
which is the point.
If you don't show up and share,
I will have no choice
but to inform the court
that you did not
complete the group.
I'm sorry.
(snaps)
I actually do get
why you wanna reenlist.
But you're wrong.
Not everybody has
a happy fuckin' home
to go back to, Merit.
(buzzing)
DR. STOKES:
Ma'am, did you hear me?
Sorry, say again?
Your grandfather was found.
He was found wandering.
He didn't seem
to know where he was.
We're lucky
someone brought him in.
Right, yeah, that's Kwan.
She-she owns the lake house
next to ours.
This has happened before, so--
DR. STOKES:
No. That was last time.
Dale was found
on the side of Highway 8.
The police brought him in.
Look. We ran some tests.
I'm diagnosing him with
early stage Alzheimer's.
I'm sorry.
(sighs)
Never thought I'd see the day
when a man can't go for a walk
on his own property.
You weren't on your
own property, Grandpa.
You were on Highway 8.
And Kwan's before that.
-Who?
-Exactly.
I know who Kwan is.
You just pronounced it wrong.
-How do you pronounce it?
-Kwan.
Kwan...
Sounds the same to me.
What the hell is this thing?
It's an iPod, it plays music.
Huh. I've seen
AN/PRC-25 field radios
in the garbage look
like they play music
better than this thing.
Dale's got jokes.
(birds chirping)
Want me to help you in?
Help how?
You sure you're all right?
I'm better than all right.
You don't think
you should help him in?
Nah.
You heard him.
He's better than all right.
(wings fluttering)
(panting)
Hi, Merit!
Not much of a talker, are you?
People talk enough.
I meant, in group.
I mean,
that's kind of the point.
Talking. Listening.
Not being alone.
It's not as simple as you think.
Who said it was simple?
You think it's easy
for everybody, anybody?
No, I...
Honestly, I don't even
know if I should be here.
Well, it's not about you, Merit.
There are other people in there.
People who need your attention.
If you can't talk
openly about your life,
how can they?
I was medevacked out of Vietnam
in November 1968.
I was shot,
almost lost my fuckin' arm.
And for a decade, I was alone,
self-medicating.
Strong and silent,
or so I thought at the time.
It wasn't until 1978
that I finally started
to talk about it.
Respectfully, sir...
I don't know if getting hurt
is the same as losing somebody.
I don't know what
happened to you, Merit,
what you lost, or who,
but I do know
that the kind of behavior
that brought you to me
is not the kind of behavior
of a person who is healed.
That behavior was
an accident, Dr. Cole.
You dropped a forklift load
of television sets,
almost crushed a coworker.
Please! That guy
at the warehouse
was all up in your shit.
What you're calling an accident,
the court's calling
criminal negligence.
-Nobody died.
-Nobody died.
What?
Merit, I know you think
you're above this.
But... courage is
moving forward.
I-It's not being unmoved.
What is it that you are
so afraid to talk about?
MERIT:
What is wrong with you?
Get back inside!
I just can't.
If you don't show up
and participate
and I don't sign off,
you're back
on the mercy of the court.
They'll fine you.
Hell, they may even
put you in jail.
If I were you,
I would think very seriously
about what living
in the past is worth.
Just sayin'.
God, this literal shit
is literally killing me.
(sighs)
We are light-wheel mechanics.
This is not that. Ugh.
-Welcome to the Army.
-(flies buzzing)
Hey, did you give
any more thought
to any of those super cool
majors I suggested?
(flies buzzing)
-What?
-(helicopter blades whirring)
(sighs)
Actually, um...
I got in... to Oregon.
That's great.
Thanks.
Yeah, no, my, um...
my cousin just, uh,
told me he's gonna have a job
for me when I get out, so...
-Yeah?
-That's cool.
-Your cousin?
-Mm-hmm.
Which one?
Why didn't you tell me?
I don't know, Zoe, I...
I didn't know
how you would react.
It's not like
you've had anything
super positive
to say about college.
I love college.
I think college is amazing.
Rich kids and snowflakes.
There it is.
And I'm neither, by the way.
Okay.
You know what I honestly think?
-Here it goes.
-I think you get uncomfortable
when anybody talks about
life after the military.
-Oh, is that what you think?
-Yeah, that's what I think.
Well...
sorry you misinterpreted me.
I'm actually really
proud of you.
I'm really excited for you.
Congratulations.
(muttering)
(flies buzzing)
(panting)
(TV playing indistinctly)
(chuckling)
(Zoe laughs)
Hey.
Your mother called... again.
If I were you,
I would not call her back.
MERIT:
Ugh.
(phone ringing)
(sighs)
KRIS (over phone):
You dropped him off?
What is wrong with you?
-Mom.
-Merit,
you're gonna go back there,
you're gonna help me
sell that cabin.
I've already contacted
a realtor.
What?
Grandpa still lives there.
And that was fine
as long as he was fine,
-but he's not anymore.
-Where is he gonna live?
He's going to a retirement home,
and I've already started
making some calls.
This has to be done, Merit.
He needs help.
Mom, I can't.
I just don't understand, Merit.
There's no therapy at the cabin.
You used to spend so much
time with your grandpa.
(clicking)
(singing along): Time presses
on and on and on and on
Time presses on and on
Time presses on
and on and on and on.
Me and my red guitar sitting
on the hardwood floor
Singing this song about how
I don't love you anymore.
Crank the bass, turn me up
We're tryna race, burn it up
Whoo, uh
Shake the place, tear it up
Shake it, whoop
We the craze,
know you heard of us!
Shake the place, tear it up
Shake it, whoo
Yeah, we the greats,
know you heard of us
Heard about us, uh
Uh, driving
like I know I want it
Uh, yeah
Celebrate it
if you pull up on 'em
Zone, what up
Simon got that pretty woman
Uh, yeah...
ZOE: Wow. You didn't tell me
your grandfather lived
on the set of a horror film.
(music continues faintly)
So which one of us do you think
is gonna get killed first?
I mean, on the one hand,
you're Black.
You guys don't make it long
in horror movies.
But on the other hand,
I'm already dead.
(Merit laughs)
You seriously need to stop.
What? Isn't Oregon known
for its serial killers?
Randall Woodfield,
the I-5 Bandit.
Dayton Leroy Rogers,
the Molalla Forest Killer.
There's something wrong
with your brain.
Or is it yours?
(birds chirping)
You know, this is exactly
how these movies start.
Bunch of bees over there.
(Merit sighs)
-(creaking)
-Wow, so secure.
I feel very safe.
Grandpa?
(drops bag)
Your grandma's so pretty.
Yeah, she was.
How come you never talk
about your dad?
(Merit sighs)
He died.
Cancer.
I was seven.
Well, you should learn
to talk about
your dead loved ones more often.
That's an interesting place
for milk.
Hey, there's your grandpa.
(water drops)
MERIT:
Hey.
Hi.
Uh, hi.
Wow, you're doing great.
If you're here for
your grandmother's funeral,
you're ten months late.
I'm here to see you.
No, you're here to check on me.
Your mother put you up to it.
(Merit sighs)
I'm here to see you, Grandpa.
DALE:
I'll bet she guilted you so bad
you just rushed right over here,
didn't even remember to pack.
We did forget the toothpaste.
Am I wrong?
I, um...
I did talk to Mom,
but I'm here
because I want to be.
I'm sorry I left the other day.
Upstairs,
second door on the right.
In case you don't remember.
(insects chirring)
ZOE:
This house is legit spooky.
I saw a bat earlier,
I'm not even kidding.
-(Merit scoffs)
-So your Grandpa Dale
does not fuck around, does he?
Yeah, nah,
that's not really his thing.
(phone ringing)
-(Merit sighs)
-No, no, no, no.
When was the last time
your phone rang
and it was good news?
Don't pick that up.
(Merit sighs)
(line ringing)
Hello?
DR. COLE: You missed
tonight's session, Merit.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't-- I don't--
I don't know what to tell you.
I'm with my grandpa.
He has early stage Alzheimer's.
I have to stay with him,
he lives alone--
We've only got
two sessions left.
We all have demons, Merit.
But you don't have
to face them alone.
(line beeps)
-Why is that guy so
obsessed with you? -Ew.
Guess you still got it.
Oh, please.
Still got it.
(chuckles)
(muffled footsteps)
(clattering)
(soft clattering continues)
(birds chirping)
(muffled clattering)
ZOE:
Verl.
Damn, what a name. Hmm.
1927 to 1944.
-What is that?
Probably died on D-Day.
Damn, good for you, Verl.
Don't say that.
What? I can joke about the dead.
These are my people.
(Weedwacker whirring)
-What is that?
-Whatever it is, let it go.
I said let it go.
-Hey!
-(Weedwacker continues loudly)
Hey! Hey!
Holy shit.
Sorry.
Whew.
-(laughs)
-What the hell are you doing?
Oh, man, you scared me. Hi.
This is a cemetery.
Yeah, thank you
for the observation.
You're noise polluting
and you're disturbing
the visitors.
To be fair, there's one visitor,
singular, and, uh,
how do you know
you're not disturbing me?
Look, guy...
My name's Alex.
It's not even 8:00 a.m.
I'm sorry, did I wake you?
Were you-- were you sleeping
behind a grave over there?
What's going on?
Right now in the morning,
when it's early before work,
that's-that's when
I'm free, okay?
You don't work here?
You're Weedwacking
and you don't work here?
No, my grandparents
are buried over there.
I know what you're thinking.
It's very cool
that I'm descended
from one of the first
Indian families in Portland.
Unless you don't think it's cool
that my Thatha and my Patti
are buried here,
in which case, you're a racist.
(chuckles)
I'm playing,
it's the dandelions.
They grow like damn weeds.
Well, they are a weed.
Yeah, well, I cleaned my, uh,
my grandparents' tombstones,
and they look beautiful,
but then all the other ones
look like shit.
And I-I got this thing
about cleanliness, so...
And then you stomped in
and you started yelling at me.
-It's weirdly...
-Selfless?
-Considerate.
-It's very selfless.
But it's weirdly considerate.
(laughs)
You should get a quieter one.
They're better
for the environment.
You're right, thank you
for the tip, stranger.
-Merit.
-Merit.
Wrap it up, high speed.
Okay, have a good run.
Get a quieter one!
TESSA (over radio): But first,
let me introduce today's guest.
Bill Stokes is the author
of the Birder's
Conservation Handbook.
He's also an ornithologist
at the Oregon
Songbird Initiative.
He joins us today from Portland.
Thanks for talking with us
today, Bill.
BILL:
Thanks, Tessa.
TESSA: Let's talk about
some of the birds
you cover in your book.
(broadcast continues)
Want a hand?
No.
Reckon you'll just tell me
it ought to be replaced.
Isn't that
what your generation does?
Something needs repair,
you just get a new one.
Well, I can't speak
for my generation,
but I was a 63 Bravo,
so I can repair
just about anything.
-There.
-(Merit sighs)
(radio broadcast continues)
Wow, Merit,
you're great at affection.
Well, as long as you're here.
Paper goes in six, remember?
(radio broadcast continues)
We don't live in the city.
We sort our own trash out here.
Paper...
(paper rustling)
...goes in six.
Metal in one, compost in two,
plastic in three, burn in four,
trash in five, paper in six.
Hmm?
Metal, compost, plastic,
burn, trash, paper.
Got it?
Got it.
Do you got it?
I don't got it.
What's the little one for?
Is that just a mystery?
(bee buzzing)
MERIT:
Okay, Mom, I'm on my way.
(line beeps)
(phone chimes)
(sighs)
(paper rustling)
(phone chiming)
Yes, yes.
Hi, sorry I'm late.
My mother called ahead about
a room for Dale Tillman.
Said you need
a family signature.
Where's the sugar-free candy?
We used to...
Oh, hey.
Uh, it was "stranger," right?
-Merit.
-Merit, hi.
-Alex.
-Yeah.
Wow, you remembered.
-So you work here?
-Yup.
Actually, my family
owns the place.
You know, they decided not
to go into the hotel industry
'cause my dad was like,
(silly voice):
"Mm, assisted living.
Recession-proof."
(normal voice):
My dad is apparently Yoda.
I don't know why I did that.
Um...
Would-- uh, would you like
to see the room?
Is that how--
how it normally goes?
People normally wanna see it?
Uh, yeah, unless
they hate their parents,
then they usually just drop 'em
on the curb outside.
(Alex laughs)
-Okay.
-Okay.
Thank you.
Just this way.
Dr. Castro, how you doin'?
So...
Is it, um...
Yeah, it's right up in here.
Here we are.
Closet, bathroom,
and bedroom's back there.
People normally sign right away?
Yeah, it's in high demand.
Yeah, my mom says these rooms
are harder to get into than--
-Yale.
-Yale.
Yeah, let me guess,
did your mom go to Yale?
(sighs)
Can I ask you a question?
Sure.
Is this a good place?
A lot of people wish
they could be in here.
My grandfather's particular.
My grandmother...
when she died,
he became a different version
of himself, you know?
Not worse, but... not better.
It's like when you lose someone,
you don't know who you are
without 'em.
You want to know
if he'll find a home here.
-Yeah.
-It's a hard decision.
Um...
Take a few days
to think about it.
And, uh,
I'm not supposed to do this,
but I'll-I'll hold
the room for you.
-Really?
-Yeah.
I mean, even the Yale
of assisted livings
has an A-list.
-You're scared of my mom.
-I'm terrified.
-Thank you.
-Mm-hmm.
Hey, I know-- I know--
I know you don't like noise,
and I'm guessing you probably
don't like people either,
but sometimes I go to this
bar called the WildHorse.
Sometimes, um,
like tonight around 8:00-ish.
-Okay.
-Okay.
(door opens)
(birds chirping)
ZOE:
So, you're really thinking about
taking him away from this place?
(Merit sighs)
(cans clattering)
Oh, what the hell?
MERIT:
Grandpa?
(cans clattering)
You all right?
Not especially, no.
'Cause paper goes
in goddamn six.
Metal, compost, plastic,
burn, trash, paper.
Is that hard?
Is that impossible?
You know, you come here,
you eat my food,
you use my water.
Fine, have at it.
But it defies imagination
that you and I were in
the same branch of the service.
If you'd learned anything
in the Army,
you'd have learned respect.
Do you think I'm crazy?
Your mother thinks I'm crazy.
Fine! But as long as you're
under my roof,
paper goes in goddamn six!
Clean it up!
(flies buzzing)
(sighing)
Where does plastic go again?
(utensils clinking)
ZOE: You know, I've read
about us vets getting PTSD,
but good for your granddad.
Not a lot of vets
trying to give PTSD.
You sure about this?
He's just angry.
But he is not gonna
-scare me off.
-(door closes)
(muffled radio playing)
Gran--
(microwave beeps, whirs)
(can pops)
(microwave beeping)
(microwave door opens)
How's it going over there?
(muffled radio playing)
MERIT:
Hmm.
It-it can be complicated,
the trash system.
How's that bird feeder
repair going?
Oh, it's going.
You're really gonna go
meet this guy,
the weed whacker?
I just thought it would be...
good to...
I don't know,
get a change of scenery.
You mean
you don't want to see me.
-It's just for tonight.
-Mm.
What if he's a murderer?
You don't think he would've
murdered me when we were alone?
Like in the cemetery?
It's just for tonight,
I promise.
Just for tonight.
NEWSCASTER: The forecast that
we have up at Mount Hood today,
-we are going to stay sunny...
-(footsteps)
(pan sizzling)
(TV chatter continues)
(flagpole clanging)
ZOE: They were supposed
to be kids, but I think
they're actually
like adult women.
-Really?
-I'm not even kidding.
The handwriting, you can tell.
(laughs)
The Dynamic Duo.
Hey, Ramirez.
Fuck off, Lewis.
MERIT:
What's up?
Green to green.
Threatcon got bumped up
to amber.
Some jackass from first platoon
said there's a sniper out there.
Look, we didn't see anything.
Sounds like the bogeyman.
Sergeant Charles,
you girls gonna be okay
out there?
-Listen, Ser--
-Hey, you talk to her
like that one more time,
I'm gonna make you wish
that sniper got you.
What'd you just say to me?
You heard me.
See me after your shift,
Specialist.
Ooh.
Bye, Ramirez.
(distant helicopter blades
whirring)
You didn't have to do that.
That guy's a fuckin' dork.
Well, at any rate...
So...
Your cousin.
Yeah, I think
he's moving to Florida.
Okay, you think you'll go?
What, and leave all this?
Right.
It's not like
you're gonna reenlist.
I don't know, maybe.
Why would you reenlist?
I don't know, Merit,
maybe because it's an option
that's actually available to me.
(rock clatters)
I see you talk about
your grandma and your grandpa,
and I think to myself,
"Man, she's got a home,
"she's got a family,
she's got a...
a whole life with meaning
to go back to," you know?
I bet when you take
those career tests,
you don't even think
about how expensive
the results are,
how much it would cost
to be an artist
or a psychologist.
Do you want to be an artist
or a psychologist?
-Because you could be.
-No.
No, I can't, Merit,
that's my point.
The world is not
my fucking oyster.
You think the world
is my oyster?
I'm a Black woman in America.
With a lake house.
It's my grandparents'
lake house.
It is not mine.
Still a lake house.
Don't worry,
nothing is set in stone yet.
Your aim is definitely
not set in stone.
Oh, shut up.
(muffled music playing)
(indistinct chatter)
Good times
Love this scene...
(arcade game chiming)
(music continues faintly)
Hey.
Hi. You...
I didn't think, um...
You want to sit down?
Uh, yeah.
Sorry, I ordered already.
Um, I didn't...
I'm a natural pessimist.
-Me, too.
-Yeah.
To be honest, I wasn't sure
if you were too good to be true
'cause in my line of work,
the women I usually
talk to are...
You know, they remember
where they were
when we stormed Normandy.
Have-have you ever played
Buck Hunter?
No.
VIDEO GAME VOICE:
That's one, that's two.
That's all three.
You nailed it!
That's a new record!
Well, damn.
If I knew I was playing
with a sniper,
I'd have dressed up.
Light-wheel mechanic, actually.
There it is, military service.
I'm impressed 'cause, you know,
I actually talked
to a woman today
who drafted the Truman Doctrine.
How could I ever compete
with that? (chuckles)
How'd you get into the military?
My grandfather, actually.
Oh, our prospective resident.
That's right.
Retired 22 years from the Army.
Lieutenant colonel.
Two tours in Vietnam.
(gunshot sound effects)
He used to let me play
with his medals
and his patches.
He would sit me down,
tell me a story
about each one of them.
I was just talking about this.
But every Fourth of July,
my entire family would stay
at my grandparents' lake house
and we would drive into town
for music in the park.
-Yeah, every year, of course.
-The fireworks.
And the local chamber orchestra,
you know, would play
the "Battle Hymn."
-If you served-- yeah.
-Yeah.
You stand up.
I remember every year
my grandpa would get up
out of his...
his old folding chair
and he would tip his hat
to everybody.
-That's so cool.
-Yeah.
VIDEO GAME VOICE:
There's a new sheriff in town.
First to fight for the right
And to build
the Nation's might
-What?
-And the Army
BOTH:
Goes rolling along.
How-- Who-who taught you that?
Miss Truman Doctrine
taught you that, huh?
No, she can't sing.
Like, seriously,
you should see her
on karaoke night, it hurts.
My parents, however,
uh, well, we just had
the immigrant experience
where you double down
on being American, you know?
So we celebrate every holiday,
and my dad loves fireworks
and hot dogs.
So, I mean, you put
a firework in a bun
-and that would blow his mind.
-(laughing)
All right, let's see
what I can do.
-Are you ready?
-I'm ready, let me see.
Okay, oof, oof, oof.
VIDEO GAME VOICE:
Oh, no, he got away.
-ALEX: Mm-hmm.
-Pick a spot.
You need spectacles.
Okay, so, so, so,
you know, zero...
-Well...
-...deer.
-Um...
-I-I shoot around them.
-I'm a pacifist...
-Right.
...so you help them scatter
so they can be free.
(laughing)
You're way better at this
than I am.
Well, you're-you're a pacifist.
Indeed, I am.
So, um, so...
-Drinks?
-Yes.
-Probably?
-Yeah, I'm sure they're ready.
-Food, probably not.
-Okay.
Yeah, we might have to wait
till tomorrow for that.
(laughing)
(indistinct chatter)
Hey, you.
Zeke...
You-you seen Merit?
Sorry, Dr. Cole.
Have you always lived
in Molalla?
Molalla?
Yeah.
(laughs)
I was born and raised here.
Um, and then my dad, of course,
wanted me to take over
the family business
at Shady Acres, um,
but I did, I moved away
for a little while
when I got married.
When you got-- what?
Uh, formerly married.
Formerly married.
Oh. (chuckles)
Six years.
You were married for six years,
or you've been divorced
for six years?
Actually, both.
That's a long time.
(chuckles weakly)
Sorry, d--
Does that--
does that make you nervous
-to talk about the past?
-What? No.
No, I'm not nervous
about the past.
I'm-I'm...
I'm, uh, well,
I'm nervous about you, so...
(laughs softly)
Indian people aren't
supposed to get divorced.
It's definitely not
in the job description,
so, um, I was-- I was just--
I was so ashamed.
I'd felt like I'd failed
at marriage,
and it, um...
Mm, it, uh, it had-- it had
a power over me and, um...
But then, you know, I just--
Fuck it, I started
talking about it.
It helped.
Yeah, I mean, it's not perfect.
I still have PTSD
from my marriage.
I mean, oh my God,
I can hear her just...
I'm so sorry,
that was so insensitive.
-Oh, no. It's all good.
-No.
No, there's no reason
for me to say that.
You can relax, the military
doesn't own PTSD.
We do happen to be
the best at it, though.
(laughs):
Okay.
How about you?
Do you-- do you have
any war stories?
Yeah.
Yeah, I do.
Um...
Kind of
third-wheeling it tonight.
(indistinct chatter)
Yeah, actually.
Uh, when I was over there,
um, Afghanistan, um...
-(buzzing)
-Actually,
when I-- when I came back...
(static crackling)
(laughing)
Um, I...
(static crackling)
-(screaming)
-(gasps)
ALEX:
Merit, are you...
Hey, it's okay.
Are you all right?
Are you okay?
-Um...
-I'm-I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, if, uh...
It's okay, it's okay.
-I gotta go.
-It's okay.
(panting)
-What was that?
-What was what?
(groans angrily)
Why would you ruin that? Why?
Zoe!
That was my first date since...
Since what?
Something traumatic
happened to you?
(indistinct radio chatter)
Get the fuck
out of my face, Zoe.
Get the fuck out of my face!
Damn, Merit,
never could take a joke.
(vehicle door opens, closes)
(crickets chirring)
(TV playing indistinctly)
Oh, my God.
Grandpa?
-(moans)
-Oh, my God.
Grandpa, hey, hey.
What?
What happened?
Um...
Oh, my God, you're bleeding.
I'm fine.
Wait, are you-- are you sure?
-Here, can you get up?
-I can get up.
I just didn't feel like it.
-Where were ya?
-I was out.
Well, I could've used you here.
-Here.
-I'm-I'm fine.
I'm fine.
(TV chatter continues)
I'm fine.
(exhales sharply)
Thank goodness someone was there
to bring you back home.
(P.A. beeps)
(indistinct P.A. announcement)
(phone ringing)
(indistinct chatter)
-Hey, Mom.
-Hey, sweetheart.
What are you up to?
Nothing, nothing.
Just, um...
hanging out with Grandpa
at the lake.
Just, um, watching the geese.
Well, that's great,
I'm glad you have time.
So, I-I was thinking
the realtor could
-come by this afternoon at 2:00.
-(line beeping)
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Please leave your message...
(beeps)
You know, when we met,
I was sure
you were going
to do the work, Merit.
(distant train horn blows)
Guess it's never too late
to be surprised, hmm?
KRIS:
Merit?
-Hello? Are you there?
-Yeah, yeah, I'm here.
Okay, great,
so 2:00 then, all right?
2:00, they'll be there.
Thanks so much, honey.
They'll see you at 2:00, bye.
(line beeps)
It's a gorgeous day.
We should take
the pontoon boat out
this afternoon, get some sun.
The bird feeder
still needs fixing.
Okay, well, we can go into town
and shop for new bird feeders.
I got what I need.
Maybe not new ones, but...
No, that would be crazy.
...parts.
What is this?
Uh-oh.
It's an iPod, Grandpa, remember?
Plays music.
Let me see it.
I put some new music
on it for you.
(rock music plays)
(chuckling)
Not bad.
Still, I've seen AN/PRC-25
field radios in the trash
that were capable
of playing music.
That funny feeling
I call the fever
Seems I've had it
for 18 years
I thought I felt all right,
but then it happened...
(muffled music continues)
-(engine turns off)
-(music stops)
(birds chirping)
(phone chiming)
You sure about the pontoon boat?
Yeah, I'm sure.
(TV playing indistinctly)
Wow. Your grandpa is just
putting shit everywhere,
isn't he?
Hmm.
Ooh.
These expired in 2012.
I would still eat them, though.
You know, my abuelo
was stubborn as hell, too.
-You don't have to...
-No, no, really, he was.
I mean, he loved us kids,
but anything we wanted
to do was "no."
"Want to go to the movies?"
"No."
"Ice cream?"
"No."
Even shit he wanted to do
he wouldn't do.
One time, I stole
a Reader's Digest
from the library, and it had
something on the cover like,
"A hundred fun things
to do with your grandkids,"
and I put it in our mailbox
and just, like, pretended
it got delivered
to the wrong address,
and that con worked
like a charm.
We had ice cream that afternoon.
Zoe, you're a genius.
Thank you.
Wait, why?
Listen, my abuelo
was kind of dumb,
and that was just ice cream.
I don't think this is
gonna work the same way.
No, it's gonna work.
We just...
just gotta make
the ice cream his idea.
Well, can we actually get
ice cream afterwards?
'Cause now we've said it
so many times,
I really want some.
(beeps)
(ignition sputtering)
-(beeps)
-(ignition sputtering)
-(beeps)
-(ignition sputtering)
What in God's green hell
is that?
-(beeps)
-(ignition sputtering)
DALE:
(sighs) Jesus.
Goddamn it, Emmy!
What...
-Jesus Christ.
-Ooh, you did it now.
This is the plan.
-You're gonna flood it.
-(ignition sputtering)
-(engine starts)
-There it goes.
(Dale sighs)
Be a shame to squander
a beautiful day like this.
Get in your seat.
You're on rocks lookout.
Charlie Mike.
(sighing, grunting)
(engine purring)
(engine slows)
(birds chirping)
So...
What's the plan then?
-The plan?
-Yeah, you and your mom,
I'm sure there's
some scheme afloat.
She's just worried about you.
DALE:
Yeah, what about you?
I just want you to be happy.
I've actually been meaning
to talk to you
about the cabin.
You know, your grandma,
she loved this lake.
Especially in the wintertime.
She thought
it was prettiest then.
Always preferred
the summers myself.
"Too damn muggy," she'd say.
"Didn't you get
enough humidity in Vietnam?"
That was her one Vietnam joke.
(chuckles)
That's what I think about now...
hot days like today.
That's why your
little snot-nosed ass
used to spend all those summers
out here with me.
You didn't talk much, and you...
...you were a deadeye
on rocks lookout.
Perfect fisherman's mate.
I loved it.
I love being out here.
Why haven't we seen you
in so long?
I thought for sure
you'd have shown up
during your grandma's
final days.
At her funeral.
(whispers):
Do not tell him.
I've... I've been dealing
with some things...
...from over there.
Yeah, let me guess...
PTSD?
You Iraq and Afghan vets,
you know, your whole
entitled generation really,
blame everything on something
or someone else.
You know, when we came back,
we didn't have any PTSD
to blame everything on.
Call it what you want.
Combat stress,
shell shock, whatever.
Goddamn it, don't "whatever" me,
young lady.
Our wars were not the same.
I read in the Army Times
that people line up
at the airports and greet
each and every one of you
when you return home from duty.
Is that true?
Did that happen to you?
You know what happened to me?
I had to change out
of my uniform at SFO
in a public bathroom.
And I still got spit on.
My short hair
and my green duffel,
that's how they knew
I was a "baby killer."
I didn't know that.
You never talked about it.
Well, why would I?
Why burden any of you with that?
That's-that's
what a soldier does.
We go out and do things
nobody else wants to do.
And we suck it up.
Well, I am sucking it up.
Believe me.
We have each other, you know.
Us veterans.
You know, maybe I didn't talk
about my war with you guys,
but I sure as hell talked
about it down at the VFW.
Even brought your mom
a few times on bingo night
when she was just knee high
to a grasshopper.
I bet she took bingo
very seriously.
She played four boards
at a time.
She used to yell at us
for talking too much.
I should've been here.
Okay, Em, why don't you
come on over here
and steer us home?
Yes, sir.
(birds chirping)
(microwave beeping)
(grunts)
Thanks.
(sighs)
I thought you only ate
that guten-free stuff.
Why, because I live in the city?
I'm still your granddaughter.
Yeah, you're gonna have
to speak up, darlin'.
Everybody talks
so quietly these days.
Jesus.
So, the Fourth of July
celebration,
and craft show, is tomorrow.
You mean the crap show?
I know you have everything
that you need here, but...
I thought maybe we could go
to Roy Purdy's booth?
I'll bet he has some spare parts
to fix that bird feeder
-of yours.
-Mmm, perhaps.
I could drive us in.
First thing in the morning.
I'm goin' to bed.
(groans)
Not really hungry.
Yeah, hi, I'm Richard,
semper fi.
I was a Marine lieutenant
in Vietnam.
Platoon commander, combat type.
Navy commander, trauma surgeon.
I work the ER over
at St. John's.
Army, staff sergeant, OIF1.
I was deployed to Iraq twice
and Afghanistan once
and now I'm a teacher.
Going back to school,
get my MBA.
You know, proving
that all Marines aren't dumb.
Now I work in finance,
but I hate it.
So, um, I tried to find
something that I do love now
and it turns out
that's stand-up comedy,
so I've been giving that a try.
"Being in the military's
a lot like being Asian.
"We all kinda look alike
and everybody thinks
we're the Marines."
The world has this
impression of who we are
when we say that we're veterans.
Trying vulnerability
and talking to my friends,
but realizing, like...
(exhales)
I can't tell them about
the things that I've done or--
Eh, all this Iraq
and Afghanistan stuff
has brought up
some old tapes for me.
So, I wanted to come here
and share with you
what I could and--
I've lost more guys
back home, though,
than I did in Iraq.
Thanks, James.
(humming)
(phone ringing)
-Hey.
-ALEX: Hey.
Sorry, I haven't gotten back
to you about the room.
Yeah, no, it's cool.
You still got two days anyways.
I wasn't calling about that.
I was just... I was just
checking on you, soldier,
um, 'cause last night, uh...
Yeah, uh...
Yeah, I'm-I'm-I'm sorry,
I don't--
Look, I'm a forgiving
and noble man.
So, you're good.
Yeah, and-and considerate.
And I'm also handsome
and I do my taxes
on time, usually, so...
(chuckling)
Um, when can I see you again?
How about
the Fourth of July thing?
You going to that?
Yeah, well, I hope so.
Yeah, okay, uh, well, um,
thanks for picking up.
And, um, good night, Merit.
Good night.
Shit... you scared me, Zoe.
I'm your shadow.
Boo!
Where else would I be?
Hey, um...
next time you want to tell
your granddad about me,
why don't you tell him about
your big plans for him instead?
How you're going to take him
away from his home,
his boat and his birds,
and stick him in
a septuagenarian purgatory
where he'll die confused
and alone.
Coward.
(birds chirping)
(thumping)
(sprinklers spritzing)
You got any other tunes
on this thing?
Sir, yes, sir.
("Dream Machine"
by Daniel Edwardson playing)
Fine, this one is a good one.
Once I had a dream
that made me sad
Made me sad
How so many people
can be bad
Everybody wants
all they can grab
They can grab
No one's ever happy
with their share
We're all here until
we know not when
Not when
Love has gone
and won't come back again.
There's Roy.
Well, I'll be.
Is that Dale?
-You're damn right it is.
-(chuckles)
How the hell are ya, Roy?
Oh, you know, can't complain.
Good to see you.
Ah, we haven't seen you
since Angela passed.
How you been holding up?
Oh, fine.
-Doing fine.
-Uh-huh.
Listen, Roy,
I need some material
for an old finch feeder
I've got.
I've had it for years
and the damn thing's
falling apart on me.
What do you think
about a new one, huh?
Well, what do you got?
-I thought you didn't want--
-Oh, hush.
-ROY: You must be--
-Merit.
Merit!
That's my granddaughter.
She lives in the city.
I don't believe it.
Wow.
Last time I saw you,
you were about this high,
playing with G.I. Joes.
What are you up to these days?
Not much.
DALE:
She was in Afghanistan.
Lightweight vehicle mechanic.
And then, they stuck her
on some outpost
near the Pakistan border
pulling guard duty detail
for the 10th Mountain grunts.
Army's run by a bunch
of yahoos these days.
Well, thank you
for your service.
Welcome home, young lady.
Thank you very much.
How much is this one?
$40.
For you, Dale, 50.
(chuckling)
Well, fine.
-We'll take it.
-Good.
Do you have money?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think so.
-Good to see ya, Roy.
-Good to see you.
-It's 40.
Sticking you with the bill, huh?
Doesn't he know you're broke?
We will continue
tonight's program
with a salute
to our nation's veterans.
As is our tradition,
if you've served
or are currently serving,
when you hear
your branch's song played,
please stand
and be recognized.
(band playing)
March along
Sing our song
With the army of the free
Count the brave,
count the true
Who have fought to victory
We're the Army and proud
of our name
We're the Army
and proudly proclaim...
First to fight,
for the right
And to build
the Nation's might
And the Army
goes rolling along
Proud of all we have done
Fighting till
the battle's won
And the Army
goes rolling along
Then it's hi, hi, hey
The Army's on its way
Count off the cadence loud
and strong
For where'er we go,
you will always know
That the Army
goes rolling along.
(applause and cheering)
(chatter and laughter)
MERIT: Seems like
right up here is good, yeah?
Yeah, fine.
Hey, Merit?
Hey!
What's up, stranger?
Hey.
You look, uh, um...
Hi, uh...
You must be the colonel.
Lieutenant colonel.
Retired.
Who are you?
Uh, hi, I'm Alex,
Manager First Class,
Shady Acres
Assisted Living Facility.
Come again? What?
That's a retirement home, right?
I...
(stammering)
How do you two know each other?
Uh, uh, we-we, uh...
we met at-at-at...
(slams chair)
Grandpa.
(spits)
Traitor!
-Fuck.
-I'm sorry, I didn't know.
Of course you didn't!
Hey, don't you think you
should give him some space?
What?
You used to be so good
at giving him space.
Zoe, let me go.
Grandpa!
Grandpa!
(fireworks exploding)
MERIT:
Get back inside!
What is wrong with you? Stop!
-Get back inside, now!
-Why?
No, no!
(panting)
Mom?
I...
uh...
Grandpa, uh...
Yeah, don't worry.
He's here.
He's here?
He's in bed and he is resting.
Oh, thank God!
I'm sorry, okay?
It's-- Listen,
listen to me, Mom.
He got-- he got upset.
It was so fast, he walked away--
Merit, stop.
I can't.
We'll talk in the morning.
(indistinct radio chatter)
(snaps)
Hey... hey!
Hey, you gonna get that?
I'll get it.
S-O-G, this is ECP1.
Green to green, over.
(indistinct radio chatter)
I actually get why
you want to reenlist.
Mmm?
But you're wrong.
Why?
Aren't you the one that calls us
Imperial Storm Troopers
tricked into modern colonialism?
Well, it's not not true.
What about you could,
uh, I don't know, die?
Well, then I will die in
a blaze of glory, I hope.
Oh, fuck you.
Oof!
Small words
from the college girl.
All right, I got
a question for you then.
Do you think we would be...
friends back home?
Where even is home for you?
You don't ever talk about it.
Just answer me.
Do you think
we would be friends?
Of course we would.
Okay, then how would
it work, like,
honestly, how would it work?
Like, would we see
each other once a year
and then, like, random calls,
and, I don't know,
just eventually end up
just liking each other's
Facebook posts and shit?
I mean, yeah, why... why not?
We can-- we can
do whatever we want.
Friendships evolve.
Why don't you explain
where this is coming from?
I'm just being realistic.
I don't think
you can explain yourself,
even if you wanted to.
I have been explaining myself.
I told you, it's--
Not everybody has
a happy fuckin' home
to go back to, Merit.
These are excuses, Zoe.
You need to be honest.
Honest about what?
That-that you're scared!
You are scared
of what comes next.
You wanna know where
your meals are coming from,
you wanna be told
what to do every day.
Okay... you think I'm scared?
I think you're terrified.
(scoffs)
(gate buzzing)
What are you doing?
-Where are you going?
-What do you care?
(dog barking)
(indistinct radio chatter)
Zoe.
What? Stop it!
Zoe!
Zoe!
(birds chirping)
Mom was right,
you do feed them too much.
You, your mother, Merit,
you all seem to know
a lot about what's best for me.
They are looking kind of big.
(laughs):
They're huge.
Nice, having you
and your mom around, honey.
Dad, Mom isn't here.
Your mother and I,
for 22 years,
went wherever the Army sent me.
And then we bought this place.
Together.
Your mother wanted it
to stay in the family.
I told you...
I'm not planning
on letting her down.
Long as I'm breathing,
I'm staying put.
-Mom...
-You know, when the hospital
called me
to approve new medication
for your grandpa,
I thanked them.
I told them I was so happy
you were there as a proxy.
And then when
they told me you were there
'cause your grandfather
fell again
and I said, "Oh, I know,
no, Merit told me."
Mom...
You lied to me.
Your grandfather
can't live on his own.
I love you, Merit,
but you've made a mess.
(buzzing)
(speech garbled over radio)
What is wrong with you?
Stop!
Now, get back inside.
(panting)
(dialogue inaudible)
Getting us both
fucking killed out here?
-Get back inside now.
-No!
Stop this, why are you acting
like your life
doesn't mean anything?
It doesn't,
none of this means anything.
-Yes it does, stop.
-Why?
Because I love you
and I care about you.
Zoe, you're so big
and your whole life
is ahead of you
and you don't even see it.
What life?
We'll make it work.
We will make it work.
Okay?
After the Army.
We'll figure it out.
I swear.
Zoe!
You swore.
Isn't that what you said?
Me and you? You got me?
I didn't reenlist
because of you.
I believed you.
I know.
I know, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I convinced you
not to reenlist.
I'm sorry I didn't see
how badly you were doing.
And I am so sorry,
I am so sorry I didn't pick up.
MAN: On behalf of the President
of the United States,
the United States Army,
and a grateful nation,
please accept
this flag as a symbol
of our appreciation
for your loved one's
honorable and faithful service.
(sobbing):
I hate my-- I hate myself.
I hate myself for it.
You, uh--
Say it.
You would still be alive
if it weren't for me.
You can't tell anyone.
I know,
and it's breaking me, Zoe.
(crying)
It's breaking me worse
than I'm already broken,
I have to.
If you tell them,
you will lose me forever.
And I will never,
ever forgive you.
No...
But Zoe would have.
(Merit gasping and sobbing)
(laughing)
Huh.
Mom!
Wait, you can't sign these.
Merit, what are you doing?
I'm sorry, can--
I need to stop you.
-Hi.
-Hi.
Can I talk to you for a second?
-Um, yeah.
-Just over... over here.
-Just...
-I promise you I'll explain.
I will explain,
just please don't sign them.
-Hey. So, sorry. It's...
-What?
Look, I know,
I know, I'm gonna...
Um...
-I'm sorry.
-What?
I'm sorry for everything
-at the bar.
-At the bar?
I'm sorry about the park,
I-I didn't know.
Oh, it's okay, I...
I should've told him.
But thank you and...
I'm working through
a lot of stuff right now.
And, um,
I'm gonna get through it.
-Yeah.
-So...
Second chance?
You're being a goofball.
Okay?
Y-Your mom's looking at us.
-MERIT: Yes, she is.
-ALEX: Yeah.
Okay, all right, I'm gonna...
-Yeah.
-Yeah, okay.
Okay, okay, Mom, listen. Um...
Yeah. Don't sign these.
(vehicle approaching)
Should've used the Loctite,
much better glue.
I would, Grandpa,
if you would store it
in a normal location.
Tell him the news.
You're not going to Shady Acres.
No shit.
I'd like to stay here.
Where?
Here. With you.
I can help you around the house,
I could fix stuff,
drive you places.
Build you an organizer
for your glues.
(Dale sighs)
You should start
with the water heater.
You gonna be taking
those long-ass showers,
we'll need it in tip-top.
(chuckles)
All right.
(Merit chuckles)
You sure about this?
I am sure.
-Okay, yeah.
-Oh!
I gotta go, um,
I have so much to tell you both,
but I have to go now.
I'll be back as soon as I can.
Where the hell's she going?
-I don't know.
-(vehicle door opens, closes)
And that's when
you need me there
With you I'll always share
Because when the sun--
-(music stops)
-No! Fuck!
If this thing dies one more time
I'm just gonna kill myself.
Don't do that,
what would I do without you?
Well, you know, you'll get
your own umbrella I guess.
(both laughing)
-Come on, hurry up.
-I got it, I got it-- ready?
When the sun shines,
we'll shine together
Told you
I'll be here forever
-Said I'll al--
-(music stops)
Let me see it,
just give it to me.
(Zoe sighs)
Come on.
Said I'll always be a friend
Took an oath, gonna
stick it out to the end
Now that it's raining
more than ever
Told you we'll
still have each other
You can stand
under my umbrella
You can stand under
my umbrella
Ella, ella, eh, eh, eh
Under my umbrella
Ella, ella, eh, eh, eh
Under my umbrella.
We'd been back home
for about four years.
-He was like the coolest
dude ever... -(door opens)
...and the last person
you'd ever think that...
Surprised to see you.
Never too late to be surprised.
We'll see.
Sorry, James.
It's fine.
Do you want to...
You ready?
My name is Merit.
Served eight years in the Army.
63 Bravo, light-wheel mechanic.
Deployed to Afghanistan in 2016.
And why I'm here...
It's not an incident.
It's a person.
Her name was Zoe.
I've lived my life
Awaking with the dawn
Working on this house
to make it a home
Some kind of wild protection,
although it doesn't
really do jack,
but it makes me feel more
comforting on the inside.
-Did you serve your country?
-Roger, I'm really proud.
You know...
Looking out
Feet on the sunlit ground
Oh, I'm a beautiful ruin
Memories of loss in my chest
I thought
they'd be my undoing
But I'm scared
to death I'll forget
I'm scared to death
I'll forget
I felt it in my bones,
the storm had broken
A house
with shattered windows
Still lets the light in
Lately I've been thinking
of starting a garden
Watching it grow
Breathing
Letting you go
Oh, I'm a beautiful ruin
Memories of loss in my chest
I thought
they'd be my undoing
But I'm scared
to death I'll forget
I'm scared to death
I'll forget
Forget.
("On a Hill"
by Phinisey playing)
I'm out of breath
Gave it all, nothing left
Didn't fall, I told you
Didn't I?
Just do, you'll be fine
I'm running
Hurting
Pushing
I got it, though
You breathing
You mean it
She is just how I know
I'm standing on a hill
Looking up, looking down
Wanna remember how it feels
Don't forget to look around
It's amazing
Oh, amazing
Oh, oh, oh, oh
But tomorrow
Tomorrow's another day
So we get low
Go home, don't fade away
I'm not done, not empty
Got more blood inside of me
Full lungs, inhale deep
Exhale all the chattering
Fighting
Another one
Keep it up
Until it's done
Taking ground
From me
Making sounds
and moving my feet
I'm standing on a hill
Looking up, looking down
Wanna remember how it feels
Don't forget to look around
It's amazing
Oh, amazing
Oh, oh, oh, oh
But tomorrow
Tomorrow's another day
So we get low
Go home, don't fade away
But tomorrow
Tomorrow's another day
So we get low
Go home, don't fade away
Tomorrow
Tomorrow's another day
So we get low
Go home, don't fade away
But tomorrow
Tomorrow's another day.