My Favorite Spy (1951) Movie Script
1
Alive.
We want him alive.
Let's go in
from the other side.
Lost him.
He made his break
Just as we were boarding
the plane to Tangier.
Well, get him. Comb every inch
of that airport.
Eric Augustine
has given us the slip.
Now, listen, Prentice.
I want that man
brought in alive.
Eric Augustine's
no good to us dead.
Throw a police net
around the airport.
Right.
Yes, sir.
Eric Augustine's escaped.
Contact all security agencies.
State patrol,
police department.
Lock this town up tight.
Calling all cars.
Be on the alert
For a man answering
description Eric Augustine.
Calling all cars.
Be on the alert
For a man answering
description Eric Augustine.
Desperately wanted
by federal security agencies.
This man is armed
and is dangerous.
Hey.
Ah, a star is born.
Hey, you.
Car 31, 3-1 reporting.
Suspect answering description
of Eric Augustine
Entering alley at Park
and Montgomery Street. Out.
- You there, stop.
- Who, me?
Get your hands up.
Yeah, now, listen to me...
Okay, I'll listen to you.
It was just a gag, officer.
It was just a little joke.
I wanted to see how it feels
to have top billing.
Dugan won't mind. He can't read.
Get your hands up higher.
They won't go any higher.
They're hooked to my wrists.
Uh, honest, I quit booking
those two-bit bets.
Ask Sam at the candy store.
I'm Peanuts White. I play
a lot of police benefits.
He's clean.
Sure I'm clean.
Look, Shireen doesn't
look like that on the stage.
When she's working
I keep her covered like this.
You see, officer?
Come on, let's go.
Hey. Hey, what am I?
A criminal?
What show did you catch?
Get going.
Hey, listen.
How many times
do I have to tell you guys?
I'm not Augustine.
Water, water.
Give me a glass of water.
Poor thing's wilting.
Cost me a dime.
Pretending to be cheap
won't work either, Augustine.
I'm not Augustine.
I'm Peanuts White.
Don't any of you guys ever relax
at the Downtown Burlesque?
I'm one of the comics who
goes on between the relaxers.
My, oh, my. What time
will the girls be here?
Very funny.
He knows. Tell them
how I fractured them.
Sit down.
Critic.
Here's what we found
on him.
A dollar eighteen,
a half a stick of gum,
Two burlesque tickets
And a package
of bobby pins.
I was carrying them
for Shireen.
That's our strip tease girl.
She ain't got no pockets.
Augustine,
you were always able
To mislead the police
with false details.
But I tell you,
I'm not Augustine.
You got the wrong man.
You made a mistake.
Fellas, you're not listening.
Hey, that's a lie.
When did I dress like that?
Boy, I must've been loaded.
Eric Augustine,
alias Sir Thomas Valaine,
Alias Ricardo Del Moria,
alias Duke of Larimore.
And now
alias Peanuts White.
How did you slip
out of Cairo last fall?
I didn't slip,
I was pushed.
It wasn't Cairo, it was Chicago.
And it wasn't my fault.
Shireen got a hold of a jug,
and when the cops walked in...
What did you do with
the million you were carrying?
Million?
Million what?
Million dollars.
Cash.
Oh, have you got
the wrong guy.
Bailey, it's the sheriff.
Yes?
We've cornered Augustine
in one of the hangars.
He never left the airport.
Be right there.
They got Augustine cornered
out at the airport. Come on.
He's free to go.
You're free.
It's about time.
Missed the rubber hose
by three minutes.
And remember, your salaries
are paid by the taxpayers.
I may be one someday.
We wanted this man alive.
Well, what am I suppose to do?
Let him kill me?
Believe it or not, mister,
it would've been better.
He's still breathing.
Get him to a hospital.
Come on. Easy now, boys.
Peanuts White.
Peanuts White.
It's our only chance.
Oh, no, Bailey.
Why not? He's an actor.
Actor? Ha!
Have you ever seen him act?
Who's there?
It's the plumber,
Mrs. Jones.
But I'm taking a bath.
And are you skinny.
Is there anyone home here?
Is there anyone
home here?
As if I didn't know.
Ah, you, stupid Maya, you.
Don't you know you're fooling
with the champion
Of the entire world there?
What are you doing here?
I didn't send for a plumber.
No, but the lady
downstairs did.
Your tub is leaking
and the drips are dropping
On the drapes down there.
Ooh.
I fix it up right now. Here.
Here we go
with the wrench here.
We make with
the monkey shines, yeah.
Listen, my husband's coming in.
Huh? Your husband?
Oh, cheese and crackers.
What do we do here?
Oh, he must have forgotten
something.
If he finds you here,
he'll kill us.
Oh, yes, I hide.
Quick, hide.
I goes under here. Oh, yeah.
Oh, no. You fool, you.
In the shower.
In the shower.
Here we go, in the shower.
Well, I could get killed
this way here.
Oh, my, in the shower.
This must be the place here.
I forgot to kiss you
goodbye, dear.
Goodbye, darling.
Goodbye, lover-kins.
Goodbye, plumber.
Goodbye, fellows.
A couple
slipped down the drain.
Oh, no, not again.
We'd like to talk to you.
Call me next Thursday. I gotta
change for the spittoon bit.
This is important. It's vital.
You've got to come with us.
But I gotta change
my clothes.
You haven't time.
We haven't time.
You'll hear about it
from my agent about this
As soon as he gets out of jail.
Now, wait a minute
Tangier.
Hoenig. Augustine.
A million bucks. I gotta
get back to the theater.
General,
this is our man, sir.
This is no time
for joking, Bailey.
He could be
the image of Augustine.
Without this comedy putty.
Hey, that's not all putty.
Oh, yes.
I hope you understand the vital
importance of this assignment.
I don't understand
anything about it,
And let's keep it that way,
sergeant.
You're not turning yellow,
are you?
Pick any color. I got
goose pimples to match them all.
Mr. White, your government
is asking you
To impersonate
Eric Augustine.
You are to take
a million dollars to Tangier.
There you will be contacted
by one Rudolf Hoenig.
For the money, he will give you
a piece of microfilm.
Why don't you send this Hoenig
a money order direct?
Because he hates us,
And he will only do business
with Eric Augustine.
Eric Augustine,
the guy who looks like me.
Why don't he go?
He's in the hospital. Wounded.
Don't worry about him.
Oh, fine. Now, I got time
to worry about me.
Please, fellas, I tell you,
you got the wrong guy.
Now, this ain't
my line of work.
I tell jokes,
that's dangerous enough.
We'll pay you $10,000
for the job.
What's wrong?
You're getting too close
to my price.
We're going to make you into
an entirely different person.
People like me the way I am.
Sort of.
Augustine was an assassin.
But always for big stakes.
He cheated, robbed, gambled.
Made money by the millions
and spent it by the millions.
And women?
He was irresistible.
A magnet
for international beauties
That could lead him
to more plunder.
He exploited them,
slapped them around,
Then threw them away
like matches.
He was cruel, poised,
suave, deadly.
And you, White,
will act accordingly.
Mr. White, you will be
thoroughly trained
So you will act
like Eric Augustine.
Educated,
cultured, polished.
A witty table companion,
A connoisseur of fine wines.
A perfect squire
to the ladies.
But under it all,
shrewd, cunning,
Deadly ruthlessness.
Remorseless.
Relentless as a jungle cat
stalking its prey.
What a man.
Oh.
Oh, there's just one
little detail you forgot.
What's that?
I ain't gonna do it.
Where's my nose? I'm leaving.
Okay, up with my beak.
Washington's on the line,
general.
I'm getting out of here.
Uh, one moment, White.
Thank you.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
He is here now, sir.
Someone would like
to speak with you, Mr. White.
Me? I got no friends
in Washington.
I voted Republican.
Hello? Yeah?
Yeah. Yeah, and I'm Lassie.
Yeah.
Some joker trying to make me
believe that he...
Yes, sir.
No, I'm... I'm not really Lassie.
I'm sorry.
I always pant this way.
Yes, sir.
Hey, it's really him.
And he called me Peanuts.
How do you like that?
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Yeah. He says I hold the fate
of the whole world in my hands.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
You can count on me, sir.
You bet, sir.
Call on you when I get back?
All right, I won't mind.
Yeah, I've never been
to Missouri before anyway.
Yeah, well, give my regards
to the whole family.
Oh, she's on tour?
Where?
Aha.
Aw.
Well, that's a tough town
anyway. Yeah.
Well, I'll do it, sir.
Goodbye.
Say, how do you like that?
He asked me himself.
All right, men,
get into action.
Congratulations, White.
You are a real American.
Yeah. I can just see it now.
The unknown civilian.
Sit there, Mr. White.
Now, the film
you're about to see
Was taken by our agents
in Paris.
We photographed Augustine
with a hidden camera.
Now, watch the movie
closely.
Can I have some popcorn?
That's Augustine on the right.
Watch every move he makes.
In a spot like this, he should
make some interesting moves.
Study him.
You study what you want,
I'll study what I want.
Uh-oh.
Now, that's Lily Dalbray.
Yeah?
She and Augustine
once were very close.
Worked together,
double-crossed each other.
Hey, sit down.
A very dangerous woman.
All women are dangerous.
She's all woman.
Whenever Augustine
had a big deal on,
She headed right back to him
like a homing pigeon.
You may be sure
not for chicken feed.
She'd try for everything.
The works.
She sure knows
where the works are.
Hey.
He is just like me.
There's a lot of Peanuts
in that boy.
Hey, can't we see
more of this? Huh?
What is this, a bus station?
What happened?
He's all yours.
What is this?
Hey. How about
some more pictures of the kid?
She really brings it with her.
We've got a big job to do.
Well, wait a minute. I don't do
strip tease, you know.
I'm for belly laughs.
This coat is nearly
a perfect fit.
This Augustine's?
It's pretty sharp.
I hope I can keep up
the payments.
This man is Karl Brubaker.
He's dangerous.
Very dangerous.
Now, study him closely.
He's a sworn enemy
of Augustine.
And watch out for him.
He's sure to be in Tangier.
One of Brubaker's
associates.
Here are the others
that have worked for him.
Thieves, gunmen.
All treacherous.
We'll show them to you
over and over.
Sharpen those shears.
I'll take them with me.
Anyone in Tangier
would kill you
For the million dollars
in this belt.
Keep it on you at all times
and trust no one.
Now I will demonstrate.
You throw a right.
Uh, Miss Dieckers?
Not very good.
Well, you caught me
at a bad time.
I'm too tuckered
to pucker.
Miss Dieckers is one
of our best operatives.
She worked
on the Augustine case in Paris.
I'll do what I can
with him.
But I'll need
his complete attention.
When I look
into a girl's eyes,
I can tell
just what she thinks of me.
It's pretty discouraging
too.
Please concentrate.
When Augustine
kissed a woman,
He popped her nylons.
Why, Mr. White.
Just call me Eric Augustine,
please.
World Airways flight 43.
Plane now loading
for Tangier.
Eight floor.
World Airways flight 43.
Plane now loading
for Tangier.
You did a good job, chief.
Considering the time.
Well, there he goes,
carrying all our hopes.
Peanuts White,
alias Eric Augustine.
I'll phone the hospital,
check on Augustine's condition.
You, you. You, you.
Quickly, my luggage. Allons.
Monkara will attend
to your bags, Mr. Augustine.
I'll meet you
at the car in front, sir.
Mr. Eric Augustine's luggage
To the Hotel Imperator
with dispatch.
Si, seor.
A little alms.
And it's tax-free.
Taxi, monsieur. Taxi?
No, Mr. Augustine.
This way.
Sorry.
Poor fella. He took it
pretty hard, didn't he?
Thanks.
You need a rest, Eric.
Your nerves are showing.
Lily.
Lily Dalbray.
Are you surprised?
Should I be?
Oh, surely you didn't expect me
here after Vienna.
Well, I didn't expect you
in Vienna after, uh, Cairo.
Since you are here,
We might as well
take up where we left off.
What was that for?
For Cairo.
For leaving me alone,
Penniless,
standing in the rain.
And I know
you'll do it again.
Oh, perhaps, Lily, perhaps,
But let's hope
for a sunny day.
You're no good, Eric.
Not even for me.
Grin and bear it, Lily.
If you don't,
you'll be miserable.
Mm.
You've been gone so long.
Long?
What I leave of myself
with a woman
Should last
to the rest of her life.
The Imperator Hotel.
He knows.
I'm staying there too.
I'm singing
at the Blue Aigrette Room.
Oh, as usual,
board and lodging for a song.
Well, all of us
can't be Eric Augustine.
Heh, you'd be surprised
how many of us are.
You're here for a purpose.
I'm everywhere
for a purpose.
After five minutes,
someone tries to kill you.
Kill me?
Well, the taxicab.
A crude attempt.
Was that meant for me?
Oh, you have such contempt
for danger.
Uh, this time, uh,
You must be after
something very big.
Tsk.
Just how big is it?
It's bigger
than both of us.
Ah.
I should know better
than to ask.
The times we've quibbled
about my curiosity.
But, Eric, I'm a woman.
Have I ever quibbled
about that?
And as a woman,
I've got to find out something.
Regardless of the past,
Just, um, how do you feel
about me now?
I haven't a quibble
left in me.
You've got to convince me
of that.
That's just
what I have in mind.
Must be the climate.
Un jolie pour vous,
Monsieur Augustine?
Keep your pitiful blossoms.
This Lily is flower enough
for me.
You say the nicest things
to me in front of others.
Delighted to see
you haven't changed.
Well, I'm delighted to see
You haven't changed either,
Lily.
That dress does things
for you.
It doesn't do me
any harm either.
You bought that dress
for me in Paris, remember?
Sometimes
I don't even remember Paris.
And like in Paris,
my suite is next to yours.
How it all comes back
to me.
Your luggage will be right up,
Monsieur Augustine.
This way, please.
Oh, yes, I know.
The flight was tiring.
Suppose we have cocktails?
Later, darling.
I must rest
for the early show.
Pick me up in an hour,
will you?
But in an hour,
my mood may change.
Then again, it may not.
In an hour?
Leaving Eric Augustine
alone?
As I remember, your orders
were to remain near him always.
Be good enough
to get out of my way.
I'm in a hurry.
Lily, obeying orders
isn't easy sometimes.
But our Mr. Brubaker
likes it that way.
Suppose we go up
to your suite.
I'm sure
I could make obeying
Pleasanter for you.
Oh.
Keep these closed.
Do you want to die?
Are you the house dick?
Your valet, Mr. Augustine.
Valet? I haven't needed a valet
Since I wore
three-cornered slacks.
Get out.
Get out!
Lower your voice,
Mr. Augustine.
You, a menial, giving orders
to Eric Augustine.
Get out or I'll be compelled
to eject you forcibly.
Fine valet. You're supposed
to lay out my clothes, not me.
Shh.
Tasso.
United States government,
security agent.
Number 62539.
Number 87724.
I've been expecting you,
Peanuts.
Expecting me? You've been
laying in ambush for me.
Get some Scotch tape
and pull me together.
Oh, no. No more
of those hearty handshakes.
I'm here to help you.
You still have a lot
to learn.
Yeah, I think
I ought to go back
And take a few more
judo lessons.
That flower girl
in the lobby,
You shouldn't have refused
the blossom.
She may have been
your contact with Hoenig.
Oh, Hoenig. Yeah,
the fella with the microfilm.
He will get word to you
somehow,
But where and by whom
we don't know.
Now, where have you got
the money?
I hid it.
Training. Bailey.
Try and find it, wise guy.
You peeked.
Oh, you've got a lot
of bloodhound in you.
You sure you're not
a keyhole man?
Or transom boy, huh?
You got radar eyeballs?
Have you got a Geiger counter
up your sleeve?
You will wear this always.
Not so tight.
A million dollar girdle
and it's killing me.
Keep your stomach in.
For this amount,
Anybody in Tangier
would slit you up the middle.
Slit?
Yeah, and I'm not ready
to become a set of bookends.
What are you looking for?
My return ticket.
I'm going home.
You're staying here.
You have a mission to complete.
Yeah, that's what you...
Uh-oh. You...
Well,
I'll stay a little while,
But not on account of you
and your gun.
After all,
I'm not cad enough
To break a date with Lily.
Where are you going now?
In here.
If I'm in for close shaves,
The first one's
gonna be on me.
Hoenig will not contact you
personally.
But when he does
get word to you,
Drop everything and go.
Drop everything.
Drop the money,
drop Lily, drop dead.
Oh, how did I ever
get into this?
What does Hoenig look like?
Nobody knows.
But Hoenig knows
what you look like.
Eric.
Why didn't I look more
like my mama than my papa?
Are you losing your nerve?
Me? Of course not.
I'll always be with you.
Oh, that'll help.
But remember, you're dealing
with desperate men.
Yeah.
There are agents
of countries who'd kill you
To stop you
from getting the film.
Uh-huh.
And if they can't stop you,
They'll kill you
after you get it.
Oh, that...
What are you doing?
Bucking for pallbearer?
One mistake,
and you're...
Please,
not while I'm shaving.
Please.
Trust nobody.
Nobody.
Nobody. I get it.
Why should I even trust you?
What are you doing?
I know a barber I can trust.
Where?
In Hackensack, New Jersey.
What are you, anyway?
A man or a coward?
A grown-up
or a sniveling baby?
A person I can depend on
or a yellow-bellied sneak.
I'm in there someplace.
Right...
Will you please
stop feeding these birds
And answer me?
If my memory serves me,
we made a bargain.
Don't back out of it now,
Lily, and crush me.
Not you.
I couldn't bear that.
When we set my price,
you knew Eric had left me.
You weren't sure
he'd come back to me.
I never underestimate
a female.
It was your uncertainty
that determined the price.
Maybe so, but I'm no longer
uncertain, and I want half.
Half?
Lily, Lily.
There is so much greed
in the world.
Must you contribute
more to it?
Let me remind you
that I'm the only one
Who can be with Eric
when Hoenig contacts him.
And only I will know
where Eric will be
After he gets
the microfilm.
A man either
adjusts himself
To changing circumstances
or perishes.
Who was it that said,
"Knavery is the best defense
against knaves"?
Very well, then. Half.
And I adore you
for being so practical.
It's a lesson to me.
Uh, one thing more.
After you get the film,
Must, uh, Eric continue
to live?
You already have
that assurance.
I don't suffer
from an inability
To keep a bargain.
Crock will be delighted
to autograph
The coroner's report
for you.
I'm glad we finally agree.
Nobody wears
a high hat in Tangier.
Hey, a hat on the bed
is bad luck.
See? See, I told you.
See? Hello? Hello?
Hello, hello.
Put down that phone.
Get me the airport.
Get me the World Airways.
Get me out of here.
Hang up.
No. Not me. They didn't
tell me this would happen.
Boom! Are they kidding?
They're not,
they just blew my top.
I'm leaving. You and I don't
talk the same language, I...
Oh, I see you still have
your interpreter with you.
Pick up the phone,
Mr. Augustine.
This is just the follow-up
to the hat bit.
They wanna see
if anything's left to answer.
Augustine speaking.
Are you all right, darling?
I thought I heard a noise.
Noise?
You should've been Th...
Oh, well,
it was really nothing.
I was just trying out
my dueling pistol, yeah.
I'll see you later, Lily.
About ten years later.
It's been thrilling.
If you're ever
in Hackensack, look me up.
My orders are to see this
through with you to the end.
And you've done a grand job.
I'll speak to Bailey
about a raise for you.
If you're not a man, at least
make noises like a man.
Hoenig knows where you are.
What's more, he's on the run.
He'll probably contact
you tonight.
Tomorrow morning
when you wake up,
All your worries
may be over.
I'm worried about waking up.
And don't
let that belt show.
Keep your stomach in.
Don't you want me
to breathe?
I want you
to keep on breathing.
You have a date
with destiny.
I'll book my own dates.
But hang on
to her phone number.
All right, Svengali,
here I go.
Eric, darling.
Lily.
I was just about to get dressed.
Well, there's no hurry.
I don't know why they
don't send up my new gown.
I hope it will be here
shortly.
Make yourself at home,
darling,
And fix me
my favorite drink, will you?
Oh, of course, of course.
It's practically fixed.
So am I.
You like a, uh... A, uh...
You like it strong, don't you?
You know how I like it,
darling.
I'm glad one of us knows.
I want you to try
something new, Lily.
A thing I picked up
in the States.
It's called a Mish-Mosh.
Oh, no. I waited so long
For you to fix me
another martini.
The pink gin is right there.
Pink yet. Well...
Shh.
What a spot
for the old spittoon bit.
Must be one someplace
around here.
Is this plant
gonna be potted.
Why don't you play some music
While I put on
something you like?
Music?
Our song keeps playing
in my mind like a recording.
Our song?
Nobody can make a piano
sing like you.
Oh, I'm sorry, Lily,
bruised fingers.
Polo, you know, rugged game.
You always did have
to be coaxed.
Sit down and play.
This piano's out of tune.
Ha.
Stop teasing, Eric.
I knew you were coming.
I had it tuned yesterday.
Mm-hm.
Eric, where did you
pick up boogie-woogie?
It's a long
and sordid story.
I like our way better.
Oh, so do I.
Button me up, darling.
Ah, who did this for you
while I was away?
Ooh, well,
if you really cared,
You wouldn't have left me.
Oh, if only I had
my buttoning to do again.
You know, you never told me
why you came to Tangier.
Darling, in that gown,
isn't it obvious?
Pretty words.
Why don't you sit down
And tell me really
why you're here?
No, I'll stand. It's better
for the digestion.
But you haven't had dinner yet.
I haven't?
That's it, I'm famished.
Freud says love is food.
He sounds
pretty mixed up to me.
Lily,
you always make me tinkle.
Oh, you gave me
this musical jewel
In Switzerland, remember?
Oh, yeah, sure.
It's... Yeah.
Yeah, when my alarm clock
broke down.
Heh, in Switzerland.
I was...
You know, there's something
strange about you.
You used to be so poised
and confident.
You knew just how
to do everything.
I still know.
You do?
Remember Madrid?
Oh, yes.
You were merveilleux.
Yeah.
Well,
at least I was trying.
Well, try again.
For Madrid.
This is the only way
to travel.
Suite 212.
New York?
Yes, yes. Put it through.
Hello? Hello?
Mr. Augustine's valet,
Tasso speaking.
Tasso, any contact yet?
No?
Well, the real Eric Augustine
has escaped.
He'll surely head
for Tangier someway.
Now, I want you to push
through with Peanuts' plan.
Just as hard and as quickly
as you can.
But don't tell him.
He might get panicky
and go to pieces.
I understand, chief.
Goodbye.
It's nights like this
that drive men like me
To women like you
for nights like this.
Oh, Eric. Eric, Eric.
That's me. Eric.
Always the three-time
winner.
I'm, uh,
Monsieur Augustine's valet.
Where shall I put this,
Mr. Augustine?
Anywhere.
Put it on the bill.
Mr. Augustine.
Go get your own girl.
Mr. Augustine.
Your table is waiting for you
downstairs, Mr. Augustine.
Your show, mademoiselle.
You'll be late.
Oh, yes. I'll get my wrap.
Ah, Lily.
Lily, to be in your arms
once again.
The scent of your hair.
The beat of your heart.
Oh, you...
That's pretty sneaky.
Start out with a dream
and end up with a nightmare.
Did she contact?
I'm no cad, I don't talk.
Not the contact you'd like.
Then get downstairs.
I beg your pardon, sir,
But I was told the table
reserved for you in the caf
Awaits your pleasure,
Mr. Augustine.
Come, Eric. I'm late.
I'm here to see
that you do everything right.
You may need an assistant.
Bienvenidos,
Seor Augustine.
Mm. Welcome, Monsieur Augustine.
Ah, Monsieur Augustine,
you have been gone too long.
Now it's like old times.
Let all of Tangier know
that Augustine has returned.
- Wine for everyone.
- Bravo.
If there's not enough
to go around,
Have the peasants jump
on some more grapes.
Merci beaucoup, monsieur.
Eh, we have reserved
your old table.
Right this way, please.
Eric the Magnificent.
How do you keep it up?
Just a matter
of self-discipline.
Mademoiselle Dalbray.
I believe you and Mr. Brubaker
have met before?
Many times
and in many places.
I haven't forgotten last year
arriving too late in Budapest
To pick up
a very important document
That was already
in your possession.
What did you clear
on that deal, Augustine?
Trade secrets.
Our paths will cross again.
You better be quick.
I won't be around long.
There's no hurry.
The day will come
when you and I
Will cease to be rivals.
Are you suggesting
a merger?
Nothing so complicated.
Just a simple killing.
Yours.
You should indulge
in a better wine.
This is spiked
with false courage.
Lily?
Duck under glass.
Asperges Milanese,
Pommes puree.
Yes, monsieur.
And some mashed potatoes.
Eric.
I go on in a few minutes.
Excuse me.
Bonjour, Eric.
Seeing you again is like
a delightful appetizer.
Sometime
when I'm not so occupied,
We'll have to sit down
and run through the whole menu.
Merci.
Eric, Eric, Eric.
Oh, what a parley.
What's your name, honey?
Oh, how could you forget
my name?
Well, I've been so busy
remembering all the rest.
Still the same Eric.
Hurt with one hand
and soothe with the other.
Yeah, I keep switching them
So you'll never know
which to dodge.
What are you doing?
Oh, oh, this?
Uh, I was just helping
the native farmers.
I'm looking
for Japanese beetles.
Eric.
Oh, Eric, I missed you.
Try again, maybe this time
you'll hit the bull's-eye.
Oh, let me kiss you, chri.
The way I once did.
Well, I'm a little fatigued.
Just the lower lip.
Well, what have we here?
Acapulco, Eric.
Well, what had we there?
Uh, no.
Never mind. No memories.
Tonight, we'll make memories
for tomorrow.
And let's hope that tomorrow
we can remember them, eh?
I'll be right back.
Acapulco.
How I desire love
La la la la la la
I'll never tire of
Just wanting more
And more
And so I long
For the day
When you will say
You will be loving me
For
Forever
And just a moment more
You don't look so good
to me anymore.
I tell your fortune,
Mr. Augustine.
What is to come.
I'd rather let Lily
surprise me.
She knows nothing.
Take a card.
An older woman can tell you
much more.
Why not? She's had
more time to find out.
Take a card. They tell
the past, the present.
My present speaks
for itself.
Take a card. They also
tell the future. Take one.
Uh-uh. No, you don't.
I'm no pigeon.
I'll take this one.
That one means
a tragic accident.
That one is a knife.
That one is a gun.
You have a permit
to carry these cards?
There's more
in your future.
You mean I still have one.
I... Don't tell me.
Why don't you go?
If you hurry,
you can catch the 9:00 broom.
Garon.
He got the wrong table.
I ordered duck.
But...
For just a moment
More
Take this card, you fool.
It's from Hoenig.
Hoenig.
Tasso.
We gotta get Tasso.
Get up. Allez-y.
What is this, darling?
Oh, uh, this is my sandwich.
Give it to me. You'll spoil
your appetite for the duck.
I can't wait. I'm famished.
Oh, but, uh...
Goat meat. Mm.
Oh, I love goat meat.
Let me try. I've never eaten
goat meat before.
You wouldn't like it.
Oh, but how do you know?
I'm eating it
and I don't like it.
Outrageous.
I ordered Long Island duck
and this foul is domestic.
And it's been cooked a minute
and four seconds too long.
Who's responsible
for such gross inefficiency?
Never mind.
I'll see the chef myself.
The contact.
The fortune teller.
Yeah. She made me swallow
her words.
Come on.
Let's blow this joint quick.
Wait, wait, wait.
We mustn't be followed.
Huh?
All the exits
are covered.
Who turned out the lights?
I did. Come on.
Uh-oh. There they are.
Good luck.
Oh, dear. I go in the kitchen.
You go backstage.
Rudolph! Pierre!
Hurry! We're on.
Get moving.
And now, my assistant.
Cleopatra.
Rudolph, you ham!
Are you drunk again?
Get moving.
Hold it, Tass. Take it easy.
You got the end
that can sit down.
Hey, Tass. I'm in trouble.
Give me some rear guard action.
What happened, you oaf?
The camel.
Just go. Find him.
Attagirl.
Stick with me and you'll be
wearing a mink hump.
Hichy, hichy. Hichy.
Hichy.
Wait. I have an idea.
Oh, no. You're not
gonna get me in that thing.
Hey.
Hey, wait. This is it.
The house fourth in the north.
Are you sure?
Well, if only... No.
It's half digested by now.
Fourth from the north.
It's the back entrance
to a gambling casino.
Hoenig would pick a place like
this to look you over first.
This is the right place,
But you got the wrong guy
for this type of work.
Don't you wanna be
a hero?
What for?
I've been happy as a coward.
You've done fine.
I see Augustine
would not be wearing this.
Now,
this is the acid test.
Hoenig is the shrewdest
killer of them all.
You must go up there
confident, assured, cold.
I'm cold all right.
I'm shivering.
Come on. Let's go.
No, no. You must go alone.
Anyone with you
will arouse suspicion.
I'll wait here
behind this door.
Now, remember, Augustine
gambled here many times.
Throw your money around,
your ego, your charm.
Even if you get killed
for it.
You are Eric Augustine.
You are a nasty man.
He just came in,
Herr Hoenig.
It's been nearly five years.
I must be certain.
The usual, Mr. Augustine?
Five?
Oh, yeah, yeah. Five.
Five thousand
for Mr. Augustine.
Thank you, Mr. Augustine.
Take care of the other boys.
Just leave one on 17.
Thank you very much,
Mr. Augustine.
You are as generous
as ever.
Willy.
Bring him to me.
There's a saying he will know.
One we used in the old days.
Come to the brown house.
When he hears that,
he will follow you.
Seventeen. Black, odd.
Eric Augustine never draws down.
Spin the wheel, please.
- Well.
- Bravo. Bravo.
Such an egomaniac.
Makes me sweat.
Get him.
Monsieur Young.
Monsieur Augustine?
Gentlemen. Gentlemen.
Is this a gambling casino
or a front for a lotto game?
I said spin the wheel, please.
Come to the brown house.
Relax. If I win, I'll drop
into the White House
And help balance
the budget.
Monsieur Augustine,
Do you know how much
is involved?
Thirty-five times that.
I am not a bookkeeper.
Very well, I should make it
easier for you.
Here, my lady,
buy the rest of that dress.
The remainder remains.
For the last time,
come to the brown house.
Number 10, black. Even.
- Aw.
- You lose, Mr. Augustine.
Oh, well, money helps,
but it isn't everything.
Must be jolly
at the brown house, eh?
Augustine.
We meet again Herr Hoenig.
Whoops. Oh.
Nobody touches
Eric Augustine.
You must forgive them,
Eric.
We have waited for you here hour
after hour, day after day.
We're all a little jumpy.
If you insist on traveling
with a hatchet man like that,
Why don't you throw a net
over him?
Willy?
Turn off your eyes, Willy.
I can see the place
where your brain ought to be.
That'll do, Eric. Let us finish
this quickly.
My time is valuable too.
The money. Please.
Don't be greedy, Willy.
First the film.
Then you get the samolians.
The million clackers.
What's that, Eric?
Samolians? Clackers?
What kind of talk?
That's just a little something
I picked up in the States.
Very interesting people,
the Yankees.
They have a jargon
all their own.
Like 23 skidoo,
who's your little whosit,
Your father's mustache,
scram.
Here it is.
How do I know it's the McCoy?
You question me?
Do you know what I went through
to hold onto this for you?
With every man
ready to kill me for it?
And you,
gambling down there,
Playing your role to the hill
to women fawning over you.
It's the old story
with you, Eric.
Suppose we complete
the transaction
So I can get down there
and write a few new chapters?
Hmph. Women.
Well,
women have to live too.
I try to share myself
amongst them.
After all, a beautiful woman's
entitled to the best.
The money, Eric.
All right.
There's much blood
on that, Eric.
Use it and use it well.
But be careful
Trust no one.
Now we go.
I go Hoenig.
You will stay
with them.
Get over there.
Easy, Willy.
Crime doesn't pay
like it used to.
I am in command here.
The money is mine.
And the microfilm
is mine.
You see, Eric.
You can trust no one.
No one.
Hello. Hello. Hey, the...
No, no. No, no.
Wrong number.
I'm not here. Goodbye.
I'll handle it. Steady.
Pardon me.
What a sneaky way
to get into Four F.
I got it, Tass. Come on.
Hey, you're not...
Hey, Tasso! Hey!
Hey, pal.
Hello, there. Hey, hey.
Hey, get me the airport.
World Airways. Hurry.
World Airways.
One to New York tonight?
Just a minute.
I'll check with reservations.
Now arriving from New York.
World Airways flight 7.
Hello?
Hello?
Uh...
Hello?
Who is it?
It's me. Lily.
Oh, Eric, open the door.
I can help you.
Oh, Eric.
You're in great danger.
Oh, well, keep helping me.
You know,
I know why you're here
And, uh, Brubaker knows
what you're after.
Yeah. Well,
Brubaker will never get me.
I'm leaving.
Hello? Hello?
Where are you?
You know
they're going to kill you.
Everything was fine till
you put in the English titles.
Hello? Hello? Well, how long
will I have to wait?
Okay. Call me right back.
You know, Brubaker
will stop at nothing
To get that film
from you.
And the closer
you get to death,
The more I realize
I love you.
The closer I get to death,
The more I realize
I love me too.
Lily, you've gotta change
your whole pattern of living.
Give it up.
We both have to.
When I deliver the film
and get paid for it,
There'll be enough
for both of us.
We'll split fifty-fifty.
You said that before.
In Vienna, in Budapest.
No. This won't be
like other times.
Everything's changed now,
Lily.
We'll get married.
Married?
Sure.
It only takes a few minutes.
So why go on being friends
all our lives?
Ah, I thought I hated you,
but I don't.
You're an entirely
new person.
You're sweet and warm.
And not like
the old Eric at all.
Aw, he's dead and buried,
I hope.
Do you think we have time
for another one?
That's the airlines calling me
about my reservation.
I'll make it for two.
All right, I'll go and pack.
Yeah, you go and pack.
Hey. Hello?
I'm here. Don't hang up.
Wait a minute. Hello? Hello?
No...
Hello? Hello? Hello?
Can you hear me in there?
Hey, I wanna make
that reservation for two.
You hear me? I'm out here.
Hello? Hello? A little...
Talk a little louder, please.
A little louder.
Gotta catch that plane.
Hello? Will you...?
Hello? Hello?
Yeah, this is me. Yeah.
Hey, will you make that
for two?
Reservations for two
for New York. Yeah.
Desk, please.
Will you page Mr. Brubaker?
Now, what?
You're limping.
You're hurt.
Don't.
I took it
only to protect you.
You said we'd split.
The film.
Tsp, tsp.
Lily, I'm all set to go.
Lily. Lily.
Speak to me.
Lily. What happened?
Lily.
She's out cold.
Maybe I shouldn't have
proposed to her so fast.
Honey,
marriage isn't that bad.
Lily. Lily, baby.
Come out of it.
Talk to me.
Tell me how long
you've been unconscious.
Lily.
Lily.
Lily. Here, baby.
Gotta stash this film.
No one
will ever find it here.
Lily. Lily.
Lily, what happened?
Honey?
You!
Lily, are you crazy?
Cut it out! I love you, Lily.
Take it easy.
Lily. Lily.
Look, Lily.
It's me, remember?
I'm sweet. I've changed.
Coward you.
No, Lily. No, listen to me.
We're not even married yet.
Lily! Oh, no. No.
Not like other times. Huh?
No. No, Lily. Oh.
First we get married.
Oh.
Well, you'll never live
to get to altar, Eric.
Listen. Eric.
I'm not even Eric.
You're not? Huh?
No.
I can take a hint.
You're sore about something.
Whoa.
Get me the porter, huh?
Yeah.
Nothing for the tailor.
Oh. What are you waiting for?
The tip?
Okay. There you are.
Hello. Give me the porter, huh?
What are you hanging
around for...?
Me.
I look awful.
Oh, there you are, doll. Heh.
You had me worried.
Watch yourself.
I'd be dead without you. Heh.
Ach Du lieber.
Augustine.
I don't think I ever hated
anyone as much as I hate you.
The women I pick.
Give me that microfilm, Eric.
Louder. Eric's a little hard
of hearing.
Don't move.
No, uh...
I wasn't moving. It's the wind.
I swayed a little bit.
But if that's Eric.
But you're Eric.
No, no. I'm me. Me. That's he.
He's he.
That's Eric Augustine.
He's dead. See?
Look. I'm Peanuts.
Peanuts White.
I'm alive. Look, heh.
Stop. Don't move.
But look, if I'm Augustine,
I'm a pretty lively corpse.
I'm alive, I tell you.
Ha, ha!
See? I've got my whole life
before me.
Maybe 10 minutes more.
I don't care who you are.
I want that film.
Oh, yeah, the film. Yeah, you...
Don't worry about that.
Like I said before, well split
when I get the money.
It still goes.
Where is that film?
Oh, I got it stashed away
in a special place.
Stick with me
and we'll get it.
All right, Eric.
No. Peanuts.
Just get me out of here,
doll,
And we'll have
a great life together.
We'll get married
just like I said.
But you'll have
to go straight.
No more deals,
no more guns.
No more double crossing,
Eric.
Aw, no more Eric.
Peanuts.
You'll never regret it.
Just get me out of here.
You've got to get
the film first, don't you?
Oh, don't worry, I got it.
Let's get out of here.
I know a back way.
Yeah. You'll get life for this.
Remember what I...
Come on.
Yeah.
You have served me
brilliantly, gentlemen.
Your success is a salute
to my training.
Well, Crock lost him.
We do very good job.
Poor Crock.
I promised him the delightful
disposing of Augustine.
The film is gone!
This is as empty
as your moronic heads.
Go back and search his body
and bring me that film.
Come on, hurry.
Liars. Asses.
No. It can't be.
But we killed him.
Does he look dead? Idiots.
If he escapes, you will die.
Don't worry, Lily.
We'll get out of this.
You won't get out of it
this time.
Lily, what are you saying?
Quick. Get him into the car.
You shattered me, Lily.
I trusted you as partners
in an enterprise should.
Treachery doesn't
become you.
Where were you going with him?
After the film.
I was doing fine
until you blundered into it.
After we have the film,
Lily,
We'll determine
who's blundered.
Where is the film?
He's hidden it
and was taking me to it.
Mr. Augustine shall reveal
its whereabouts to all of us.
Get into the car.
Phone Dr. Estrallo
to be ready.
He's at the villa now.
Thank you, my boy.
You must learn,
my dear Monkara,
To be more thoughtful
of the lesser species.
They are not as fortunate
as man.
So that's how your face
got that way, huh?
You were at fault.
Those birds are my life.
Why, you...
Forgive the outburst
of temper, Eric.
Basically,
I'm a man of compassion.
For instance,
I have engaged Dr. Estrallo
To relieve you
of the information I want
By the miracle
of modern drugs.
Sodium pentilium,
the truth drug.
It will make you
talk to us.
Make me talk? Heh.
That...
Hey, hey that's enough.
One I get started, I can be
an awful bore, you know. I...
It is difficult for a man
of my position
To obtain drugs.
I have only enough
for one injection.
Well, I'll go call
the Eagle Drug Store.
They deliver.
That's right. I...
Monkara. Chair.
Count backwards, please.
Start with 100.
Oh, you must be joking.
Truth drug.
This stuff wouldn't work
on me in a million years.
Hmph.
A thousand. A hundred.
Ninety-nine. He, he.
Ninety-eight.
Ninety-seven.
My blue heaven.
I... Heh.
Ninety-six.
Ninety-six.
Pick-up sticks.
Ninety-five.
This stuff's got jive.
Ninety-four.
My arm feels sore.
Ninety-three.
I feel so free.
Ninety-two.
Button your shoe.
Ninety-one. I gotta run.
Fine. Excellent.
His subconscious
is being released.
Augustine.
Yeah. August...
Who? Who, me?
Yes, you. Eric Augustine.
Oh, not me, Tub Tummy.
No, no. My name's Peanuts.
Peanuts White.
Then Augustine is an alias?
Well, it's not really Peanuts.
My name is Cecil Longworth.
But a name like that is no good
on the marquee, see? Ha-ha-ha.
A marquis?
He assumed the role
of a marquis
On that Monte Carlo
transaction.
- Back to the film.
- Don't rush him.
Whatever information
you want
Lead up to it gradually.
Now, where did you go
this evening?
From the cafe?
After you left Lily Dalbray.
Lily.
Isn't she beautiful?
So warm, so sweet.
Murder.
Yeah, murder.
All of a sudden,
she flips off her rocker.
Shags me with a gun
and claws me like a tiger.
Forget about Lily
for the moment.
Heh, I can't.
I'm crazy about her.
I'll always be crazy
about her.
I shouldn't trust her,
but I can't help myself.
When she turns those big
furry eyes on me,
I melt like hot molasses.
I get all icky sticky.
A man's subconscious
is a maudlin swamp.
Lily.
See what you can do
with him.
Tell the truth, Eric.
Peanuts, baby. Peanuts.
Hot and salty.
Listen to us.
We make music together.
What about the microfilm,
Lily.
Didn't he get it
from Hoenig tonight?
No, not Hoenig. Koenig.
Catfish Koenig.
The Comedy Cop.
I worked with him
at the Palace.
Come here.
You wanna know a secret?
By all means, my boy.
Your secret is exactly
what I want to know.
If you wanna know a secret,
then hark to an actor's fate.
An actor must play
many parts.
And all of them are great.
Because you seem so interested,
in a piece of film,
Then listen to the parts
I've played.
And how I used to kill them.
Oh, I've learned to say
How now, brown cow?
Rehearsed
A very fancy bow
That I plan on using
For my curtain call
But whenever that time
Does arrive
Tuppence ha'penny
Will get you five
That I wind up
Taking a fall
What is this nonsense?
His alter ego is babbling.
Don't excite him.
There is not a thing
That I would lack
Playing Cyrano DeBergerac
But knows my sword
And I could play
Those scenes
I duel in the dark, you know.
Ha-ha-ha.
So you besmirch
a lady's honor? En garde.
Touch. Ha, ha.
Aha, I pinked you,
didn't I? Jackpot.
Band-Aid, anybody?
Ha, you fool.
Lay there and bleed.
Fooling me, you amateur
with your scout knife.
Ha, ha.
Pfft, pfft, pfft.
Are you sure you gave him
the right drug?
Of course,
it's working beautiful...
A little confused perhaps.
But he will get to the point.
Pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft.
Thanks for the dip.
Well, I've worn the great
Big nose, all right
But the trouble was
It had a light
And it spelled out
Eat at Maxine's
I horsewhipped
Little Chillun
As cruel
As Simon Legree
Ah, take that. Take that, lad.
I'm gonna lash you good.
I'm gonna give you the longest
lashing you ever had.
I was always known
for my long lashes.
Now what do you say,
doctor.
Doctor?
Dr. Jekyll.
Yes, and that Mr. Hyde?
One of whom indulged
in homicide.
Those are parts.
That suit me right down
To my socks
Citric acid.
Hydrochloric sulfate.
Potassium nitrate.
Ice.
One drink of this,
And I'm blown
to the Monsters Anonymous.
Yeah.
It's finished.
I forgot the olive.
Hmph.
I like it.
What have you done to him,
you Southern Jekyll?
What was
in that hypodermic?
It's the truth serum.
I know my drugs.
Let him continue.
Alas, poor Ulrich.
To sleep
perchance to dream.
Have you been drinking
paregoric?
Or could it be
that new vanishing cream?
Aha, blew your cork,
huh?
Speak to me.
Speak to me.
Say something.
You may be a straight man.
Won't talk, eh?
You snob.
Looks like a fella I know
who sings.
With my big low shoes
And baggy pants
I went right into my song
And dance
And I wound up
Taking a fall
My birds.
What's happening?
My birds. Save the birds.
Take them on the patio.
Tell the ushers
the popcorn is burning.
Hurry.
Monkara,
watch Augustine.
What is this? Where am I?
What's going on here.
Keep your head down.
Yeah, but how about your head?
It looks good on you
and I like it.
Come on, get this thing
out a second, will you?
Let it go.
Oh, here.
Hang on to that. I may wanna
powder my nose later.
Oh, there they come.
Yeah.
We gotta make a run
from here.
What...? Now what?
Get in one of those outfits,
quick.
Good luck.
I should've lowered
my flaps.
Come on.
That's them. Step on it.
Come on.
I knew you'd come over
to my team.
Tell me, those things
you said at the villa,
Did you mean them?
I don't remember
what I said,
But if you liked it,
I meant every word of it.
I hope this fire's
near the airport.
We'll keep right on going.
Look where we are.
Oh, I'm not gonna play
Any return date
in this joint. Come on.
The glee club.
What are you doing here,
you idiots?
Did you lose them?
They're here.
What do you mean here?
They're here
dressed like firemen.
Well, find them.
Gracias.
Stand back, ha, ha.
Turn it on, Lily.
Where's the microfilm?
Yeah.
Ha-ha-ha. I'm gonna give you
rats the bath you need.
Okay, Lily, turn it on.
Ha, ha.
I guess I'm the master
of this situation.
Let it go. Here it comes.
Whoop.
Catch her!
Let me down, Lily.
I'm not insured for this.
Lower the ladder.
I'll drive.
Lily. I'm on the wrong side
of the road. I'll get a ticket.
I don't know
how to work this.
Now she tells me.
Hey, look.
Look what's coming.
Pull over.
Pull something.
Pull everything.
Whoops.
Sunday driver.
Lily. Bring me in
for a landing.
Don't jump off
or they'll catch you.
Watch out.
Aah!
Lily. Don't touch anything
till these trees go by.
Hey, Lily! Hey! Lily!
Peanuts, where are you?
Lily! Oh, Lily!
Lily! Lily, come back!
Bring your ladder!
There he is.
Stop the car.
We got him now.
Come down from there, Eric!
You haven't got a chance.
Here I come.
Stay away, Lily!
They got me!
Lily! Whoa.
If I saw this on television,
I'd never believe it.
I'll get a nasty letter
from Hopalong for this.
Sorry to drop in on you
like this.
- Come on. Come on.
- I can't.
Get a blowtorch
and release me.
Fan out.
Search all the shops.
Get in there, blood.
Have you see anything
of him?
Not a thing.
Come on. Up the stairs.
Monkara.
They've locked it.
Whoop.
Monkara.
Monkara, did you see them?
Arrest this man.
This is Mr. Brubaker.
Hey, Tasso.
Hey, Tass.
Peanuts.
Here's the film.
Congratulations,
Mr. White.
You've done a great service
for your country.
I haven't done badly
for myself either.
Alive.
We want him alive.
Let's go in
from the other side.
Lost him.
He made his break
Just as we were boarding
the plane to Tangier.
Well, get him. Comb every inch
of that airport.
Eric Augustine
has given us the slip.
Now, listen, Prentice.
I want that man
brought in alive.
Eric Augustine's
no good to us dead.
Throw a police net
around the airport.
Right.
Yes, sir.
Eric Augustine's escaped.
Contact all security agencies.
State patrol,
police department.
Lock this town up tight.
Calling all cars.
Be on the alert
For a man answering
description Eric Augustine.
Calling all cars.
Be on the alert
For a man answering
description Eric Augustine.
Desperately wanted
by federal security agencies.
This man is armed
and is dangerous.
Hey.
Ah, a star is born.
Hey, you.
Car 31, 3-1 reporting.
Suspect answering description
of Eric Augustine
Entering alley at Park
and Montgomery Street. Out.
- You there, stop.
- Who, me?
Get your hands up.
Yeah, now, listen to me...
Okay, I'll listen to you.
It was just a gag, officer.
It was just a little joke.
I wanted to see how it feels
to have top billing.
Dugan won't mind. He can't read.
Get your hands up higher.
They won't go any higher.
They're hooked to my wrists.
Uh, honest, I quit booking
those two-bit bets.
Ask Sam at the candy store.
I'm Peanuts White. I play
a lot of police benefits.
He's clean.
Sure I'm clean.
Look, Shireen doesn't
look like that on the stage.
When she's working
I keep her covered like this.
You see, officer?
Come on, let's go.
Hey. Hey, what am I?
A criminal?
What show did you catch?
Get going.
Hey, listen.
How many times
do I have to tell you guys?
I'm not Augustine.
Water, water.
Give me a glass of water.
Poor thing's wilting.
Cost me a dime.
Pretending to be cheap
won't work either, Augustine.
I'm not Augustine.
I'm Peanuts White.
Don't any of you guys ever relax
at the Downtown Burlesque?
I'm one of the comics who
goes on between the relaxers.
My, oh, my. What time
will the girls be here?
Very funny.
He knows. Tell them
how I fractured them.
Sit down.
Critic.
Here's what we found
on him.
A dollar eighteen,
a half a stick of gum,
Two burlesque tickets
And a package
of bobby pins.
I was carrying them
for Shireen.
That's our strip tease girl.
She ain't got no pockets.
Augustine,
you were always able
To mislead the police
with false details.
But I tell you,
I'm not Augustine.
You got the wrong man.
You made a mistake.
Fellas, you're not listening.
Hey, that's a lie.
When did I dress like that?
Boy, I must've been loaded.
Eric Augustine,
alias Sir Thomas Valaine,
Alias Ricardo Del Moria,
alias Duke of Larimore.
And now
alias Peanuts White.
How did you slip
out of Cairo last fall?
I didn't slip,
I was pushed.
It wasn't Cairo, it was Chicago.
And it wasn't my fault.
Shireen got a hold of a jug,
and when the cops walked in...
What did you do with
the million you were carrying?
Million?
Million what?
Million dollars.
Cash.
Oh, have you got
the wrong guy.
Bailey, it's the sheriff.
Yes?
We've cornered Augustine
in one of the hangars.
He never left the airport.
Be right there.
They got Augustine cornered
out at the airport. Come on.
He's free to go.
You're free.
It's about time.
Missed the rubber hose
by three minutes.
And remember, your salaries
are paid by the taxpayers.
I may be one someday.
We wanted this man alive.
Well, what am I suppose to do?
Let him kill me?
Believe it or not, mister,
it would've been better.
He's still breathing.
Get him to a hospital.
Come on. Easy now, boys.
Peanuts White.
Peanuts White.
It's our only chance.
Oh, no, Bailey.
Why not? He's an actor.
Actor? Ha!
Have you ever seen him act?
Who's there?
It's the plumber,
Mrs. Jones.
But I'm taking a bath.
And are you skinny.
Is there anyone home here?
Is there anyone
home here?
As if I didn't know.
Ah, you, stupid Maya, you.
Don't you know you're fooling
with the champion
Of the entire world there?
What are you doing here?
I didn't send for a plumber.
No, but the lady
downstairs did.
Your tub is leaking
and the drips are dropping
On the drapes down there.
Ooh.
I fix it up right now. Here.
Here we go
with the wrench here.
We make with
the monkey shines, yeah.
Listen, my husband's coming in.
Huh? Your husband?
Oh, cheese and crackers.
What do we do here?
Oh, he must have forgotten
something.
If he finds you here,
he'll kill us.
Oh, yes, I hide.
Quick, hide.
I goes under here. Oh, yeah.
Oh, no. You fool, you.
In the shower.
In the shower.
Here we go, in the shower.
Well, I could get killed
this way here.
Oh, my, in the shower.
This must be the place here.
I forgot to kiss you
goodbye, dear.
Goodbye, darling.
Goodbye, lover-kins.
Goodbye, plumber.
Goodbye, fellows.
A couple
slipped down the drain.
Oh, no, not again.
We'd like to talk to you.
Call me next Thursday. I gotta
change for the spittoon bit.
This is important. It's vital.
You've got to come with us.
But I gotta change
my clothes.
You haven't time.
We haven't time.
You'll hear about it
from my agent about this
As soon as he gets out of jail.
Now, wait a minute
Tangier.
Hoenig. Augustine.
A million bucks. I gotta
get back to the theater.
General,
this is our man, sir.
This is no time
for joking, Bailey.
He could be
the image of Augustine.
Without this comedy putty.
Hey, that's not all putty.
Oh, yes.
I hope you understand the vital
importance of this assignment.
I don't understand
anything about it,
And let's keep it that way,
sergeant.
You're not turning yellow,
are you?
Pick any color. I got
goose pimples to match them all.
Mr. White, your government
is asking you
To impersonate
Eric Augustine.
You are to take
a million dollars to Tangier.
There you will be contacted
by one Rudolf Hoenig.
For the money, he will give you
a piece of microfilm.
Why don't you send this Hoenig
a money order direct?
Because he hates us,
And he will only do business
with Eric Augustine.
Eric Augustine,
the guy who looks like me.
Why don't he go?
He's in the hospital. Wounded.
Don't worry about him.
Oh, fine. Now, I got time
to worry about me.
Please, fellas, I tell you,
you got the wrong guy.
Now, this ain't
my line of work.
I tell jokes,
that's dangerous enough.
We'll pay you $10,000
for the job.
What's wrong?
You're getting too close
to my price.
We're going to make you into
an entirely different person.
People like me the way I am.
Sort of.
Augustine was an assassin.
But always for big stakes.
He cheated, robbed, gambled.
Made money by the millions
and spent it by the millions.
And women?
He was irresistible.
A magnet
for international beauties
That could lead him
to more plunder.
He exploited them,
slapped them around,
Then threw them away
like matches.
He was cruel, poised,
suave, deadly.
And you, White,
will act accordingly.
Mr. White, you will be
thoroughly trained
So you will act
like Eric Augustine.
Educated,
cultured, polished.
A witty table companion,
A connoisseur of fine wines.
A perfect squire
to the ladies.
But under it all,
shrewd, cunning,
Deadly ruthlessness.
Remorseless.
Relentless as a jungle cat
stalking its prey.
What a man.
Oh.
Oh, there's just one
little detail you forgot.
What's that?
I ain't gonna do it.
Where's my nose? I'm leaving.
Okay, up with my beak.
Washington's on the line,
general.
I'm getting out of here.
Uh, one moment, White.
Thank you.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
He is here now, sir.
Someone would like
to speak with you, Mr. White.
Me? I got no friends
in Washington.
I voted Republican.
Hello? Yeah?
Yeah. Yeah, and I'm Lassie.
Yeah.
Some joker trying to make me
believe that he...
Yes, sir.
No, I'm... I'm not really Lassie.
I'm sorry.
I always pant this way.
Yes, sir.
Hey, it's really him.
And he called me Peanuts.
How do you like that?
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Yeah. He says I hold the fate
of the whole world in my hands.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
You can count on me, sir.
You bet, sir.
Call on you when I get back?
All right, I won't mind.
Yeah, I've never been
to Missouri before anyway.
Yeah, well, give my regards
to the whole family.
Oh, she's on tour?
Where?
Aha.
Aw.
Well, that's a tough town
anyway. Yeah.
Well, I'll do it, sir.
Goodbye.
Say, how do you like that?
He asked me himself.
All right, men,
get into action.
Congratulations, White.
You are a real American.
Yeah. I can just see it now.
The unknown civilian.
Sit there, Mr. White.
Now, the film
you're about to see
Was taken by our agents
in Paris.
We photographed Augustine
with a hidden camera.
Now, watch the movie
closely.
Can I have some popcorn?
That's Augustine on the right.
Watch every move he makes.
In a spot like this, he should
make some interesting moves.
Study him.
You study what you want,
I'll study what I want.
Uh-oh.
Now, that's Lily Dalbray.
Yeah?
She and Augustine
once were very close.
Worked together,
double-crossed each other.
Hey, sit down.
A very dangerous woman.
All women are dangerous.
She's all woman.
Whenever Augustine
had a big deal on,
She headed right back to him
like a homing pigeon.
You may be sure
not for chicken feed.
She'd try for everything.
The works.
She sure knows
where the works are.
Hey.
He is just like me.
There's a lot of Peanuts
in that boy.
Hey, can't we see
more of this? Huh?
What is this, a bus station?
What happened?
He's all yours.
What is this?
Hey. How about
some more pictures of the kid?
She really brings it with her.
We've got a big job to do.
Well, wait a minute. I don't do
strip tease, you know.
I'm for belly laughs.
This coat is nearly
a perfect fit.
This Augustine's?
It's pretty sharp.
I hope I can keep up
the payments.
This man is Karl Brubaker.
He's dangerous.
Very dangerous.
Now, study him closely.
He's a sworn enemy
of Augustine.
And watch out for him.
He's sure to be in Tangier.
One of Brubaker's
associates.
Here are the others
that have worked for him.
Thieves, gunmen.
All treacherous.
We'll show them to you
over and over.
Sharpen those shears.
I'll take them with me.
Anyone in Tangier
would kill you
For the million dollars
in this belt.
Keep it on you at all times
and trust no one.
Now I will demonstrate.
You throw a right.
Uh, Miss Dieckers?
Not very good.
Well, you caught me
at a bad time.
I'm too tuckered
to pucker.
Miss Dieckers is one
of our best operatives.
She worked
on the Augustine case in Paris.
I'll do what I can
with him.
But I'll need
his complete attention.
When I look
into a girl's eyes,
I can tell
just what she thinks of me.
It's pretty discouraging
too.
Please concentrate.
When Augustine
kissed a woman,
He popped her nylons.
Why, Mr. White.
Just call me Eric Augustine,
please.
World Airways flight 43.
Plane now loading
for Tangier.
Eight floor.
World Airways flight 43.
Plane now loading
for Tangier.
You did a good job, chief.
Considering the time.
Well, there he goes,
carrying all our hopes.
Peanuts White,
alias Eric Augustine.
I'll phone the hospital,
check on Augustine's condition.
You, you. You, you.
Quickly, my luggage. Allons.
Monkara will attend
to your bags, Mr. Augustine.
I'll meet you
at the car in front, sir.
Mr. Eric Augustine's luggage
To the Hotel Imperator
with dispatch.
Si, seor.
A little alms.
And it's tax-free.
Taxi, monsieur. Taxi?
No, Mr. Augustine.
This way.
Sorry.
Poor fella. He took it
pretty hard, didn't he?
Thanks.
You need a rest, Eric.
Your nerves are showing.
Lily.
Lily Dalbray.
Are you surprised?
Should I be?
Oh, surely you didn't expect me
here after Vienna.
Well, I didn't expect you
in Vienna after, uh, Cairo.
Since you are here,
We might as well
take up where we left off.
What was that for?
For Cairo.
For leaving me alone,
Penniless,
standing in the rain.
And I know
you'll do it again.
Oh, perhaps, Lily, perhaps,
But let's hope
for a sunny day.
You're no good, Eric.
Not even for me.
Grin and bear it, Lily.
If you don't,
you'll be miserable.
Mm.
You've been gone so long.
Long?
What I leave of myself
with a woman
Should last
to the rest of her life.
The Imperator Hotel.
He knows.
I'm staying there too.
I'm singing
at the Blue Aigrette Room.
Oh, as usual,
board and lodging for a song.
Well, all of us
can't be Eric Augustine.
Heh, you'd be surprised
how many of us are.
You're here for a purpose.
I'm everywhere
for a purpose.
After five minutes,
someone tries to kill you.
Kill me?
Well, the taxicab.
A crude attempt.
Was that meant for me?
Oh, you have such contempt
for danger.
Uh, this time, uh,
You must be after
something very big.
Tsk.
Just how big is it?
It's bigger
than both of us.
Ah.
I should know better
than to ask.
The times we've quibbled
about my curiosity.
But, Eric, I'm a woman.
Have I ever quibbled
about that?
And as a woman,
I've got to find out something.
Regardless of the past,
Just, um, how do you feel
about me now?
I haven't a quibble
left in me.
You've got to convince me
of that.
That's just
what I have in mind.
Must be the climate.
Un jolie pour vous,
Monsieur Augustine?
Keep your pitiful blossoms.
This Lily is flower enough
for me.
You say the nicest things
to me in front of others.
Delighted to see
you haven't changed.
Well, I'm delighted to see
You haven't changed either,
Lily.
That dress does things
for you.
It doesn't do me
any harm either.
You bought that dress
for me in Paris, remember?
Sometimes
I don't even remember Paris.
And like in Paris,
my suite is next to yours.
How it all comes back
to me.
Your luggage will be right up,
Monsieur Augustine.
This way, please.
Oh, yes, I know.
The flight was tiring.
Suppose we have cocktails?
Later, darling.
I must rest
for the early show.
Pick me up in an hour,
will you?
But in an hour,
my mood may change.
Then again, it may not.
In an hour?
Leaving Eric Augustine
alone?
As I remember, your orders
were to remain near him always.
Be good enough
to get out of my way.
I'm in a hurry.
Lily, obeying orders
isn't easy sometimes.
But our Mr. Brubaker
likes it that way.
Suppose we go up
to your suite.
I'm sure
I could make obeying
Pleasanter for you.
Oh.
Keep these closed.
Do you want to die?
Are you the house dick?
Your valet, Mr. Augustine.
Valet? I haven't needed a valet
Since I wore
three-cornered slacks.
Get out.
Get out!
Lower your voice,
Mr. Augustine.
You, a menial, giving orders
to Eric Augustine.
Get out or I'll be compelled
to eject you forcibly.
Fine valet. You're supposed
to lay out my clothes, not me.
Shh.
Tasso.
United States government,
security agent.
Number 62539.
Number 87724.
I've been expecting you,
Peanuts.
Expecting me? You've been
laying in ambush for me.
Get some Scotch tape
and pull me together.
Oh, no. No more
of those hearty handshakes.
I'm here to help you.
You still have a lot
to learn.
Yeah, I think
I ought to go back
And take a few more
judo lessons.
That flower girl
in the lobby,
You shouldn't have refused
the blossom.
She may have been
your contact with Hoenig.
Oh, Hoenig. Yeah,
the fella with the microfilm.
He will get word to you
somehow,
But where and by whom
we don't know.
Now, where have you got
the money?
I hid it.
Training. Bailey.
Try and find it, wise guy.
You peeked.
Oh, you've got a lot
of bloodhound in you.
You sure you're not
a keyhole man?
Or transom boy, huh?
You got radar eyeballs?
Have you got a Geiger counter
up your sleeve?
You will wear this always.
Not so tight.
A million dollar girdle
and it's killing me.
Keep your stomach in.
For this amount,
Anybody in Tangier
would slit you up the middle.
Slit?
Yeah, and I'm not ready
to become a set of bookends.
What are you looking for?
My return ticket.
I'm going home.
You're staying here.
You have a mission to complete.
Yeah, that's what you...
Uh-oh. You...
Well,
I'll stay a little while,
But not on account of you
and your gun.
After all,
I'm not cad enough
To break a date with Lily.
Where are you going now?
In here.
If I'm in for close shaves,
The first one's
gonna be on me.
Hoenig will not contact you
personally.
But when he does
get word to you,
Drop everything and go.
Drop everything.
Drop the money,
drop Lily, drop dead.
Oh, how did I ever
get into this?
What does Hoenig look like?
Nobody knows.
But Hoenig knows
what you look like.
Eric.
Why didn't I look more
like my mama than my papa?
Are you losing your nerve?
Me? Of course not.
I'll always be with you.
Oh, that'll help.
But remember, you're dealing
with desperate men.
Yeah.
There are agents
of countries who'd kill you
To stop you
from getting the film.
Uh-huh.
And if they can't stop you,
They'll kill you
after you get it.
Oh, that...
What are you doing?
Bucking for pallbearer?
One mistake,
and you're...
Please,
not while I'm shaving.
Please.
Trust nobody.
Nobody.
Nobody. I get it.
Why should I even trust you?
What are you doing?
I know a barber I can trust.
Where?
In Hackensack, New Jersey.
What are you, anyway?
A man or a coward?
A grown-up
or a sniveling baby?
A person I can depend on
or a yellow-bellied sneak.
I'm in there someplace.
Right...
Will you please
stop feeding these birds
And answer me?
If my memory serves me,
we made a bargain.
Don't back out of it now,
Lily, and crush me.
Not you.
I couldn't bear that.
When we set my price,
you knew Eric had left me.
You weren't sure
he'd come back to me.
I never underestimate
a female.
It was your uncertainty
that determined the price.
Maybe so, but I'm no longer
uncertain, and I want half.
Half?
Lily, Lily.
There is so much greed
in the world.
Must you contribute
more to it?
Let me remind you
that I'm the only one
Who can be with Eric
when Hoenig contacts him.
And only I will know
where Eric will be
After he gets
the microfilm.
A man either
adjusts himself
To changing circumstances
or perishes.
Who was it that said,
"Knavery is the best defense
against knaves"?
Very well, then. Half.
And I adore you
for being so practical.
It's a lesson to me.
Uh, one thing more.
After you get the film,
Must, uh, Eric continue
to live?
You already have
that assurance.
I don't suffer
from an inability
To keep a bargain.
Crock will be delighted
to autograph
The coroner's report
for you.
I'm glad we finally agree.
Nobody wears
a high hat in Tangier.
Hey, a hat on the bed
is bad luck.
See? See, I told you.
See? Hello? Hello?
Hello, hello.
Put down that phone.
Get me the airport.
Get me the World Airways.
Get me out of here.
Hang up.
No. Not me. They didn't
tell me this would happen.
Boom! Are they kidding?
They're not,
they just blew my top.
I'm leaving. You and I don't
talk the same language, I...
Oh, I see you still have
your interpreter with you.
Pick up the phone,
Mr. Augustine.
This is just the follow-up
to the hat bit.
They wanna see
if anything's left to answer.
Augustine speaking.
Are you all right, darling?
I thought I heard a noise.
Noise?
You should've been Th...
Oh, well,
it was really nothing.
I was just trying out
my dueling pistol, yeah.
I'll see you later, Lily.
About ten years later.
It's been thrilling.
If you're ever
in Hackensack, look me up.
My orders are to see this
through with you to the end.
And you've done a grand job.
I'll speak to Bailey
about a raise for you.
If you're not a man, at least
make noises like a man.
Hoenig knows where you are.
What's more, he's on the run.
He'll probably contact
you tonight.
Tomorrow morning
when you wake up,
All your worries
may be over.
I'm worried about waking up.
And don't
let that belt show.
Keep your stomach in.
Don't you want me
to breathe?
I want you
to keep on breathing.
You have a date
with destiny.
I'll book my own dates.
But hang on
to her phone number.
All right, Svengali,
here I go.
Eric, darling.
Lily.
I was just about to get dressed.
Well, there's no hurry.
I don't know why they
don't send up my new gown.
I hope it will be here
shortly.
Make yourself at home,
darling,
And fix me
my favorite drink, will you?
Oh, of course, of course.
It's practically fixed.
So am I.
You like a, uh... A, uh...
You like it strong, don't you?
You know how I like it,
darling.
I'm glad one of us knows.
I want you to try
something new, Lily.
A thing I picked up
in the States.
It's called a Mish-Mosh.
Oh, no. I waited so long
For you to fix me
another martini.
The pink gin is right there.
Pink yet. Well...
Shh.
What a spot
for the old spittoon bit.
Must be one someplace
around here.
Is this plant
gonna be potted.
Why don't you play some music
While I put on
something you like?
Music?
Our song keeps playing
in my mind like a recording.
Our song?
Nobody can make a piano
sing like you.
Oh, I'm sorry, Lily,
bruised fingers.
Polo, you know, rugged game.
You always did have
to be coaxed.
Sit down and play.
This piano's out of tune.
Ha.
Stop teasing, Eric.
I knew you were coming.
I had it tuned yesterday.
Mm-hm.
Eric, where did you
pick up boogie-woogie?
It's a long
and sordid story.
I like our way better.
Oh, so do I.
Button me up, darling.
Ah, who did this for you
while I was away?
Ooh, well,
if you really cared,
You wouldn't have left me.
Oh, if only I had
my buttoning to do again.
You know, you never told me
why you came to Tangier.
Darling, in that gown,
isn't it obvious?
Pretty words.
Why don't you sit down
And tell me really
why you're here?
No, I'll stand. It's better
for the digestion.
But you haven't had dinner yet.
I haven't?
That's it, I'm famished.
Freud says love is food.
He sounds
pretty mixed up to me.
Lily,
you always make me tinkle.
Oh, you gave me
this musical jewel
In Switzerland, remember?
Oh, yeah, sure.
It's... Yeah.
Yeah, when my alarm clock
broke down.
Heh, in Switzerland.
I was...
You know, there's something
strange about you.
You used to be so poised
and confident.
You knew just how
to do everything.
I still know.
You do?
Remember Madrid?
Oh, yes.
You were merveilleux.
Yeah.
Well,
at least I was trying.
Well, try again.
For Madrid.
This is the only way
to travel.
Suite 212.
New York?
Yes, yes. Put it through.
Hello? Hello?
Mr. Augustine's valet,
Tasso speaking.
Tasso, any contact yet?
No?
Well, the real Eric Augustine
has escaped.
He'll surely head
for Tangier someway.
Now, I want you to push
through with Peanuts' plan.
Just as hard and as quickly
as you can.
But don't tell him.
He might get panicky
and go to pieces.
I understand, chief.
Goodbye.
It's nights like this
that drive men like me
To women like you
for nights like this.
Oh, Eric. Eric, Eric.
That's me. Eric.
Always the three-time
winner.
I'm, uh,
Monsieur Augustine's valet.
Where shall I put this,
Mr. Augustine?
Anywhere.
Put it on the bill.
Mr. Augustine.
Go get your own girl.
Mr. Augustine.
Your table is waiting for you
downstairs, Mr. Augustine.
Your show, mademoiselle.
You'll be late.
Oh, yes. I'll get my wrap.
Ah, Lily.
Lily, to be in your arms
once again.
The scent of your hair.
The beat of your heart.
Oh, you...
That's pretty sneaky.
Start out with a dream
and end up with a nightmare.
Did she contact?
I'm no cad, I don't talk.
Not the contact you'd like.
Then get downstairs.
I beg your pardon, sir,
But I was told the table
reserved for you in the caf
Awaits your pleasure,
Mr. Augustine.
Come, Eric. I'm late.
I'm here to see
that you do everything right.
You may need an assistant.
Bienvenidos,
Seor Augustine.
Mm. Welcome, Monsieur Augustine.
Ah, Monsieur Augustine,
you have been gone too long.
Now it's like old times.
Let all of Tangier know
that Augustine has returned.
- Wine for everyone.
- Bravo.
If there's not enough
to go around,
Have the peasants jump
on some more grapes.
Merci beaucoup, monsieur.
Eh, we have reserved
your old table.
Right this way, please.
Eric the Magnificent.
How do you keep it up?
Just a matter
of self-discipline.
Mademoiselle Dalbray.
I believe you and Mr. Brubaker
have met before?
Many times
and in many places.
I haven't forgotten last year
arriving too late in Budapest
To pick up
a very important document
That was already
in your possession.
What did you clear
on that deal, Augustine?
Trade secrets.
Our paths will cross again.
You better be quick.
I won't be around long.
There's no hurry.
The day will come
when you and I
Will cease to be rivals.
Are you suggesting
a merger?
Nothing so complicated.
Just a simple killing.
Yours.
You should indulge
in a better wine.
This is spiked
with false courage.
Lily?
Duck under glass.
Asperges Milanese,
Pommes puree.
Yes, monsieur.
And some mashed potatoes.
Eric.
I go on in a few minutes.
Excuse me.
Bonjour, Eric.
Seeing you again is like
a delightful appetizer.
Sometime
when I'm not so occupied,
We'll have to sit down
and run through the whole menu.
Merci.
Eric, Eric, Eric.
Oh, what a parley.
What's your name, honey?
Oh, how could you forget
my name?
Well, I've been so busy
remembering all the rest.
Still the same Eric.
Hurt with one hand
and soothe with the other.
Yeah, I keep switching them
So you'll never know
which to dodge.
What are you doing?
Oh, oh, this?
Uh, I was just helping
the native farmers.
I'm looking
for Japanese beetles.
Eric.
Oh, Eric, I missed you.
Try again, maybe this time
you'll hit the bull's-eye.
Oh, let me kiss you, chri.
The way I once did.
Well, I'm a little fatigued.
Just the lower lip.
Well, what have we here?
Acapulco, Eric.
Well, what had we there?
Uh, no.
Never mind. No memories.
Tonight, we'll make memories
for tomorrow.
And let's hope that tomorrow
we can remember them, eh?
I'll be right back.
Acapulco.
How I desire love
La la la la la la
I'll never tire of
Just wanting more
And more
And so I long
For the day
When you will say
You will be loving me
For
Forever
And just a moment more
You don't look so good
to me anymore.
I tell your fortune,
Mr. Augustine.
What is to come.
I'd rather let Lily
surprise me.
She knows nothing.
Take a card.
An older woman can tell you
much more.
Why not? She's had
more time to find out.
Take a card. They tell
the past, the present.
My present speaks
for itself.
Take a card. They also
tell the future. Take one.
Uh-uh. No, you don't.
I'm no pigeon.
I'll take this one.
That one means
a tragic accident.
That one is a knife.
That one is a gun.
You have a permit
to carry these cards?
There's more
in your future.
You mean I still have one.
I... Don't tell me.
Why don't you go?
If you hurry,
you can catch the 9:00 broom.
Garon.
He got the wrong table.
I ordered duck.
But...
For just a moment
More
Take this card, you fool.
It's from Hoenig.
Hoenig.
Tasso.
We gotta get Tasso.
Get up. Allez-y.
What is this, darling?
Oh, uh, this is my sandwich.
Give it to me. You'll spoil
your appetite for the duck.
I can't wait. I'm famished.
Oh, but, uh...
Goat meat. Mm.
Oh, I love goat meat.
Let me try. I've never eaten
goat meat before.
You wouldn't like it.
Oh, but how do you know?
I'm eating it
and I don't like it.
Outrageous.
I ordered Long Island duck
and this foul is domestic.
And it's been cooked a minute
and four seconds too long.
Who's responsible
for such gross inefficiency?
Never mind.
I'll see the chef myself.
The contact.
The fortune teller.
Yeah. She made me swallow
her words.
Come on.
Let's blow this joint quick.
Wait, wait, wait.
We mustn't be followed.
Huh?
All the exits
are covered.
Who turned out the lights?
I did. Come on.
Uh-oh. There they are.
Good luck.
Oh, dear. I go in the kitchen.
You go backstage.
Rudolph! Pierre!
Hurry! We're on.
Get moving.
And now, my assistant.
Cleopatra.
Rudolph, you ham!
Are you drunk again?
Get moving.
Hold it, Tass. Take it easy.
You got the end
that can sit down.
Hey, Tass. I'm in trouble.
Give me some rear guard action.
What happened, you oaf?
The camel.
Just go. Find him.
Attagirl.
Stick with me and you'll be
wearing a mink hump.
Hichy, hichy. Hichy.
Hichy.
Wait. I have an idea.
Oh, no. You're not
gonna get me in that thing.
Hey.
Hey, wait. This is it.
The house fourth in the north.
Are you sure?
Well, if only... No.
It's half digested by now.
Fourth from the north.
It's the back entrance
to a gambling casino.
Hoenig would pick a place like
this to look you over first.
This is the right place,
But you got the wrong guy
for this type of work.
Don't you wanna be
a hero?
What for?
I've been happy as a coward.
You've done fine.
I see Augustine
would not be wearing this.
Now,
this is the acid test.
Hoenig is the shrewdest
killer of them all.
You must go up there
confident, assured, cold.
I'm cold all right.
I'm shivering.
Come on. Let's go.
No, no. You must go alone.
Anyone with you
will arouse suspicion.
I'll wait here
behind this door.
Now, remember, Augustine
gambled here many times.
Throw your money around,
your ego, your charm.
Even if you get killed
for it.
You are Eric Augustine.
You are a nasty man.
He just came in,
Herr Hoenig.
It's been nearly five years.
I must be certain.
The usual, Mr. Augustine?
Five?
Oh, yeah, yeah. Five.
Five thousand
for Mr. Augustine.
Thank you, Mr. Augustine.
Take care of the other boys.
Just leave one on 17.
Thank you very much,
Mr. Augustine.
You are as generous
as ever.
Willy.
Bring him to me.
There's a saying he will know.
One we used in the old days.
Come to the brown house.
When he hears that,
he will follow you.
Seventeen. Black, odd.
Eric Augustine never draws down.
Spin the wheel, please.
- Well.
- Bravo. Bravo.
Such an egomaniac.
Makes me sweat.
Get him.
Monsieur Young.
Monsieur Augustine?
Gentlemen. Gentlemen.
Is this a gambling casino
or a front for a lotto game?
I said spin the wheel, please.
Come to the brown house.
Relax. If I win, I'll drop
into the White House
And help balance
the budget.
Monsieur Augustine,
Do you know how much
is involved?
Thirty-five times that.
I am not a bookkeeper.
Very well, I should make it
easier for you.
Here, my lady,
buy the rest of that dress.
The remainder remains.
For the last time,
come to the brown house.
Number 10, black. Even.
- Aw.
- You lose, Mr. Augustine.
Oh, well, money helps,
but it isn't everything.
Must be jolly
at the brown house, eh?
Augustine.
We meet again Herr Hoenig.
Whoops. Oh.
Nobody touches
Eric Augustine.
You must forgive them,
Eric.
We have waited for you here hour
after hour, day after day.
We're all a little jumpy.
If you insist on traveling
with a hatchet man like that,
Why don't you throw a net
over him?
Willy?
Turn off your eyes, Willy.
I can see the place
where your brain ought to be.
That'll do, Eric. Let us finish
this quickly.
My time is valuable too.
The money. Please.
Don't be greedy, Willy.
First the film.
Then you get the samolians.
The million clackers.
What's that, Eric?
Samolians? Clackers?
What kind of talk?
That's just a little something
I picked up in the States.
Very interesting people,
the Yankees.
They have a jargon
all their own.
Like 23 skidoo,
who's your little whosit,
Your father's mustache,
scram.
Here it is.
How do I know it's the McCoy?
You question me?
Do you know what I went through
to hold onto this for you?
With every man
ready to kill me for it?
And you,
gambling down there,
Playing your role to the hill
to women fawning over you.
It's the old story
with you, Eric.
Suppose we complete
the transaction
So I can get down there
and write a few new chapters?
Hmph. Women.
Well,
women have to live too.
I try to share myself
amongst them.
After all, a beautiful woman's
entitled to the best.
The money, Eric.
All right.
There's much blood
on that, Eric.
Use it and use it well.
But be careful
Trust no one.
Now we go.
I go Hoenig.
You will stay
with them.
Get over there.
Easy, Willy.
Crime doesn't pay
like it used to.
I am in command here.
The money is mine.
And the microfilm
is mine.
You see, Eric.
You can trust no one.
No one.
Hello. Hello. Hey, the...
No, no. No, no.
Wrong number.
I'm not here. Goodbye.
I'll handle it. Steady.
Pardon me.
What a sneaky way
to get into Four F.
I got it, Tass. Come on.
Hey, you're not...
Hey, Tasso! Hey!
Hey, pal.
Hello, there. Hey, hey.
Hey, get me the airport.
World Airways. Hurry.
World Airways.
One to New York tonight?
Just a minute.
I'll check with reservations.
Now arriving from New York.
World Airways flight 7.
Hello?
Hello?
Uh...
Hello?
Who is it?
It's me. Lily.
Oh, Eric, open the door.
I can help you.
Oh, Eric.
You're in great danger.
Oh, well, keep helping me.
You know,
I know why you're here
And, uh, Brubaker knows
what you're after.
Yeah. Well,
Brubaker will never get me.
I'm leaving.
Hello? Hello?
Where are you?
You know
they're going to kill you.
Everything was fine till
you put in the English titles.
Hello? Hello? Well, how long
will I have to wait?
Okay. Call me right back.
You know, Brubaker
will stop at nothing
To get that film
from you.
And the closer
you get to death,
The more I realize
I love you.
The closer I get to death,
The more I realize
I love me too.
Lily, you've gotta change
your whole pattern of living.
Give it up.
We both have to.
When I deliver the film
and get paid for it,
There'll be enough
for both of us.
We'll split fifty-fifty.
You said that before.
In Vienna, in Budapest.
No. This won't be
like other times.
Everything's changed now,
Lily.
We'll get married.
Married?
Sure.
It only takes a few minutes.
So why go on being friends
all our lives?
Ah, I thought I hated you,
but I don't.
You're an entirely
new person.
You're sweet and warm.
And not like
the old Eric at all.
Aw, he's dead and buried,
I hope.
Do you think we have time
for another one?
That's the airlines calling me
about my reservation.
I'll make it for two.
All right, I'll go and pack.
Yeah, you go and pack.
Hey. Hello?
I'm here. Don't hang up.
Wait a minute. Hello? Hello?
No...
Hello? Hello? Hello?
Can you hear me in there?
Hey, I wanna make
that reservation for two.
You hear me? I'm out here.
Hello? Hello? A little...
Talk a little louder, please.
A little louder.
Gotta catch that plane.
Hello? Will you...?
Hello? Hello?
Yeah, this is me. Yeah.
Hey, will you make that
for two?
Reservations for two
for New York. Yeah.
Desk, please.
Will you page Mr. Brubaker?
Now, what?
You're limping.
You're hurt.
Don't.
I took it
only to protect you.
You said we'd split.
The film.
Tsp, tsp.
Lily, I'm all set to go.
Lily. Lily.
Speak to me.
Lily. What happened?
Lily.
She's out cold.
Maybe I shouldn't have
proposed to her so fast.
Honey,
marriage isn't that bad.
Lily. Lily, baby.
Come out of it.
Talk to me.
Tell me how long
you've been unconscious.
Lily.
Lily.
Lily. Here, baby.
Gotta stash this film.
No one
will ever find it here.
Lily. Lily.
Lily, what happened?
Honey?
You!
Lily, are you crazy?
Cut it out! I love you, Lily.
Take it easy.
Lily. Lily.
Look, Lily.
It's me, remember?
I'm sweet. I've changed.
Coward you.
No, Lily. No, listen to me.
We're not even married yet.
Lily! Oh, no. No.
Not like other times. Huh?
No. No, Lily. Oh.
First we get married.
Oh.
Well, you'll never live
to get to altar, Eric.
Listen. Eric.
I'm not even Eric.
You're not? Huh?
No.
I can take a hint.
You're sore about something.
Whoa.
Get me the porter, huh?
Yeah.
Nothing for the tailor.
Oh. What are you waiting for?
The tip?
Okay. There you are.
Hello. Give me the porter, huh?
What are you hanging
around for...?
Me.
I look awful.
Oh, there you are, doll. Heh.
You had me worried.
Watch yourself.
I'd be dead without you. Heh.
Ach Du lieber.
Augustine.
I don't think I ever hated
anyone as much as I hate you.
The women I pick.
Give me that microfilm, Eric.
Louder. Eric's a little hard
of hearing.
Don't move.
No, uh...
I wasn't moving. It's the wind.
I swayed a little bit.
But if that's Eric.
But you're Eric.
No, no. I'm me. Me. That's he.
He's he.
That's Eric Augustine.
He's dead. See?
Look. I'm Peanuts.
Peanuts White.
I'm alive. Look, heh.
Stop. Don't move.
But look, if I'm Augustine,
I'm a pretty lively corpse.
I'm alive, I tell you.
Ha, ha!
See? I've got my whole life
before me.
Maybe 10 minutes more.
I don't care who you are.
I want that film.
Oh, yeah, the film. Yeah, you...
Don't worry about that.
Like I said before, well split
when I get the money.
It still goes.
Where is that film?
Oh, I got it stashed away
in a special place.
Stick with me
and we'll get it.
All right, Eric.
No. Peanuts.
Just get me out of here,
doll,
And we'll have
a great life together.
We'll get married
just like I said.
But you'll have
to go straight.
No more deals,
no more guns.
No more double crossing,
Eric.
Aw, no more Eric.
Peanuts.
You'll never regret it.
Just get me out of here.
You've got to get
the film first, don't you?
Oh, don't worry, I got it.
Let's get out of here.
I know a back way.
Yeah. You'll get life for this.
Remember what I...
Come on.
Yeah.
You have served me
brilliantly, gentlemen.
Your success is a salute
to my training.
Well, Crock lost him.
We do very good job.
Poor Crock.
I promised him the delightful
disposing of Augustine.
The film is gone!
This is as empty
as your moronic heads.
Go back and search his body
and bring me that film.
Come on, hurry.
Liars. Asses.
No. It can't be.
But we killed him.
Does he look dead? Idiots.
If he escapes, you will die.
Don't worry, Lily.
We'll get out of this.
You won't get out of it
this time.
Lily, what are you saying?
Quick. Get him into the car.
You shattered me, Lily.
I trusted you as partners
in an enterprise should.
Treachery doesn't
become you.
Where were you going with him?
After the film.
I was doing fine
until you blundered into it.
After we have the film,
Lily,
We'll determine
who's blundered.
Where is the film?
He's hidden it
and was taking me to it.
Mr. Augustine shall reveal
its whereabouts to all of us.
Get into the car.
Phone Dr. Estrallo
to be ready.
He's at the villa now.
Thank you, my boy.
You must learn,
my dear Monkara,
To be more thoughtful
of the lesser species.
They are not as fortunate
as man.
So that's how your face
got that way, huh?
You were at fault.
Those birds are my life.
Why, you...
Forgive the outburst
of temper, Eric.
Basically,
I'm a man of compassion.
For instance,
I have engaged Dr. Estrallo
To relieve you
of the information I want
By the miracle
of modern drugs.
Sodium pentilium,
the truth drug.
It will make you
talk to us.
Make me talk? Heh.
That...
Hey, hey that's enough.
One I get started, I can be
an awful bore, you know. I...
It is difficult for a man
of my position
To obtain drugs.
I have only enough
for one injection.
Well, I'll go call
the Eagle Drug Store.
They deliver.
That's right. I...
Monkara. Chair.
Count backwards, please.
Start with 100.
Oh, you must be joking.
Truth drug.
This stuff wouldn't work
on me in a million years.
Hmph.
A thousand. A hundred.
Ninety-nine. He, he.
Ninety-eight.
Ninety-seven.
My blue heaven.
I... Heh.
Ninety-six.
Ninety-six.
Pick-up sticks.
Ninety-five.
This stuff's got jive.
Ninety-four.
My arm feels sore.
Ninety-three.
I feel so free.
Ninety-two.
Button your shoe.
Ninety-one. I gotta run.
Fine. Excellent.
His subconscious
is being released.
Augustine.
Yeah. August...
Who? Who, me?
Yes, you. Eric Augustine.
Oh, not me, Tub Tummy.
No, no. My name's Peanuts.
Peanuts White.
Then Augustine is an alias?
Well, it's not really Peanuts.
My name is Cecil Longworth.
But a name like that is no good
on the marquee, see? Ha-ha-ha.
A marquis?
He assumed the role
of a marquis
On that Monte Carlo
transaction.
- Back to the film.
- Don't rush him.
Whatever information
you want
Lead up to it gradually.
Now, where did you go
this evening?
From the cafe?
After you left Lily Dalbray.
Lily.
Isn't she beautiful?
So warm, so sweet.
Murder.
Yeah, murder.
All of a sudden,
she flips off her rocker.
Shags me with a gun
and claws me like a tiger.
Forget about Lily
for the moment.
Heh, I can't.
I'm crazy about her.
I'll always be crazy
about her.
I shouldn't trust her,
but I can't help myself.
When she turns those big
furry eyes on me,
I melt like hot molasses.
I get all icky sticky.
A man's subconscious
is a maudlin swamp.
Lily.
See what you can do
with him.
Tell the truth, Eric.
Peanuts, baby. Peanuts.
Hot and salty.
Listen to us.
We make music together.
What about the microfilm,
Lily.
Didn't he get it
from Hoenig tonight?
No, not Hoenig. Koenig.
Catfish Koenig.
The Comedy Cop.
I worked with him
at the Palace.
Come here.
You wanna know a secret?
By all means, my boy.
Your secret is exactly
what I want to know.
If you wanna know a secret,
then hark to an actor's fate.
An actor must play
many parts.
And all of them are great.
Because you seem so interested,
in a piece of film,
Then listen to the parts
I've played.
And how I used to kill them.
Oh, I've learned to say
How now, brown cow?
Rehearsed
A very fancy bow
That I plan on using
For my curtain call
But whenever that time
Does arrive
Tuppence ha'penny
Will get you five
That I wind up
Taking a fall
What is this nonsense?
His alter ego is babbling.
Don't excite him.
There is not a thing
That I would lack
Playing Cyrano DeBergerac
But knows my sword
And I could play
Those scenes
I duel in the dark, you know.
Ha-ha-ha.
So you besmirch
a lady's honor? En garde.
Touch. Ha, ha.
Aha, I pinked you,
didn't I? Jackpot.
Band-Aid, anybody?
Ha, you fool.
Lay there and bleed.
Fooling me, you amateur
with your scout knife.
Ha, ha.
Pfft, pfft, pfft.
Are you sure you gave him
the right drug?
Of course,
it's working beautiful...
A little confused perhaps.
But he will get to the point.
Pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft.
Thanks for the dip.
Well, I've worn the great
Big nose, all right
But the trouble was
It had a light
And it spelled out
Eat at Maxine's
I horsewhipped
Little Chillun
As cruel
As Simon Legree
Ah, take that. Take that, lad.
I'm gonna lash you good.
I'm gonna give you the longest
lashing you ever had.
I was always known
for my long lashes.
Now what do you say,
doctor.
Doctor?
Dr. Jekyll.
Yes, and that Mr. Hyde?
One of whom indulged
in homicide.
Those are parts.
That suit me right down
To my socks
Citric acid.
Hydrochloric sulfate.
Potassium nitrate.
Ice.
One drink of this,
And I'm blown
to the Monsters Anonymous.
Yeah.
It's finished.
I forgot the olive.
Hmph.
I like it.
What have you done to him,
you Southern Jekyll?
What was
in that hypodermic?
It's the truth serum.
I know my drugs.
Let him continue.
Alas, poor Ulrich.
To sleep
perchance to dream.
Have you been drinking
paregoric?
Or could it be
that new vanishing cream?
Aha, blew your cork,
huh?
Speak to me.
Speak to me.
Say something.
You may be a straight man.
Won't talk, eh?
You snob.
Looks like a fella I know
who sings.
With my big low shoes
And baggy pants
I went right into my song
And dance
And I wound up
Taking a fall
My birds.
What's happening?
My birds. Save the birds.
Take them on the patio.
Tell the ushers
the popcorn is burning.
Hurry.
Monkara,
watch Augustine.
What is this? Where am I?
What's going on here.
Keep your head down.
Yeah, but how about your head?
It looks good on you
and I like it.
Come on, get this thing
out a second, will you?
Let it go.
Oh, here.
Hang on to that. I may wanna
powder my nose later.
Oh, there they come.
Yeah.
We gotta make a run
from here.
What...? Now what?
Get in one of those outfits,
quick.
Good luck.
I should've lowered
my flaps.
Come on.
That's them. Step on it.
Come on.
I knew you'd come over
to my team.
Tell me, those things
you said at the villa,
Did you mean them?
I don't remember
what I said,
But if you liked it,
I meant every word of it.
I hope this fire's
near the airport.
We'll keep right on going.
Look where we are.
Oh, I'm not gonna play
Any return date
in this joint. Come on.
The glee club.
What are you doing here,
you idiots?
Did you lose them?
They're here.
What do you mean here?
They're here
dressed like firemen.
Well, find them.
Gracias.
Stand back, ha, ha.
Turn it on, Lily.
Where's the microfilm?
Yeah.
Ha-ha-ha. I'm gonna give you
rats the bath you need.
Okay, Lily, turn it on.
Ha, ha.
I guess I'm the master
of this situation.
Let it go. Here it comes.
Whoop.
Catch her!
Let me down, Lily.
I'm not insured for this.
Lower the ladder.
I'll drive.
Lily. I'm on the wrong side
of the road. I'll get a ticket.
I don't know
how to work this.
Now she tells me.
Hey, look.
Look what's coming.
Pull over.
Pull something.
Pull everything.
Whoops.
Sunday driver.
Lily. Bring me in
for a landing.
Don't jump off
or they'll catch you.
Watch out.
Aah!
Lily. Don't touch anything
till these trees go by.
Hey, Lily! Hey! Lily!
Peanuts, where are you?
Lily! Oh, Lily!
Lily! Lily, come back!
Bring your ladder!
There he is.
Stop the car.
We got him now.
Come down from there, Eric!
You haven't got a chance.
Here I come.
Stay away, Lily!
They got me!
Lily! Whoa.
If I saw this on television,
I'd never believe it.
I'll get a nasty letter
from Hopalong for this.
Sorry to drop in on you
like this.
- Come on. Come on.
- I can't.
Get a blowtorch
and release me.
Fan out.
Search all the shops.
Get in there, blood.
Have you see anything
of him?
Not a thing.
Come on. Up the stairs.
Monkara.
They've locked it.
Whoop.
Monkara.
Monkara, did you see them?
Arrest this man.
This is Mr. Brubaker.
Hey, Tasso.
Hey, Tass.
Peanuts.
Here's the film.
Congratulations,
Mr. White.
You've done a great service
for your country.
I haven't done badly
for myself either.