Neal 'N' Nikki (2005) Movie Script

Hi, I'm Neal,
a typical Indian guy,
But there's nothing
typically Indian about me.
I've never even been to India!
Dad was a farmer there,
he sowed oats.
But now, he rears horses!
After settling in Canada,
Dad brought Mom from Punjab.
The result of their 25 years of
hard work is not me
it's Albert, their horse!
You go gaga when you see
pretty women,
You forget all about me!
I make the tea, I cook the meals.
And they get the kisses?
What rubbish! When did you
cook meals for the horse?
Come on! Let's take a picture!
Don't touch me!
Mom and Dad are very cute.
They can't stay without each other.
And when they're together,
they're always fighting!
both of them are very happy!
And now they want
to see me happy.
They want me to get married!
Me! The Neal!
Don't get me wrong..
I don't have a problem with girls,
they love me!
Neal! He rocks,
and he's the one to score!
You thought you've seen the best,
but he's here to show you more!
N E A L! GO Neal!
They tell the whole world,
that they're crazy about me!
I'm kidding.
Girls aren't that crazy!
It's not that I don't want
to get married.
But you need to choose
the right kind of girl,
not this domesticated,
homely type, you know!
I've told Mom,
I'm the athletic type I like football.
Then I have the perfect girl,
she's also very sporty and athletic".
..just like you!
Hi! I'm Minni!
Wanna play?
If I don't have any kids in the future..'s all thanks to Minni!
Neal, look who's here!
Your Daddy's best friend,
Harpreet Uncle..
and Cherry Aunty,
and their daughter Katrina!
Hello! - How you doing?
Ok, what's wrong with her?
She's pretty.. forget pretty,
she's hot!
What are you saying Neal?
Mom and Dad actually got it right?
Damn, I wish this was as simple as
buying a car.
Actually, when buying a car,
you can test drive it.
You can check how to handle it,
its power, it's smoothness
Can it handle curves?
Did you say something?
Would you like to go for a drive?
I'd love to - Great!
Harpreet come!
Let me show you my horse!
He's won all possible awards!
He's so proud of him, he praises him
in every word he utters!
Why shouldn't I be? You can recognize
his breeding in everything he does!
He lives up to the Punjabi name!
You go girl!
What happened? It's a little big,
but there's no need to be worried!
What? - Mummy.
Oh my God!
Meet Gyaniji!
His job is to impart wisdom,
but its only me that he imparts it to,
And I am forced to listen to it
because in our house..
..Gyaniji's place comes
right after "Babaji's.
Half of Mom's sentences start with
"Gyaniji was saying.
I was saying there is no need to worry.
And this is Gyaniji's son, Happy.
Samar with a Guitar,
who wants to be a Rockstar.!
Gyaniji, what should I do?
Start the marriage preparations,
the girl for Neal, will come from Bhatinda.
"A pretty girl from Bhatinda.."
" ..dressed in pink attire.."
" ..and silver sequined shoes."
"The cadence of her flowing tresses.."
"..makes the fields go wild with gushes."
"She's loved by God."
"She's loved by all!"
"Her face is sweet, her soul is sweet!"
"Everyone calls her Sweety!"
"Everyone calls her Sweety!"
Neal, what're you doing?
I can't believe you're getting married!
Why did I give you so much advice?
Marriage is not a good thing.
Do we look like happy guys?
Look what his wife has done to him..
..he's got to wear tight clothes
all the time!
As soon as I got married
my life was over.
After this you're pretty much done.
How could you say yes
for the wedding?
A girl from Bhatinda?
You haven't even met her!
Stop panicking guys, Relax.
I decided a long time ago
that I will have an arranged marriage.
Have you seen my girlfriends?
Will you marry any one of them?
It's simple dude!
I don't trust my choice in women!
That's why I said yes to marry Sweety!
Dad in a few clays I'll be married
and my life will change forever.
And then you know
what's going to happen next.
I want to spend the remaining
21 days in Vancouver.
You know, big city, lots of fun.
Dad, I just want to have some fun.
Neal, why do you think
married guys don't have fun?
Dad, are you having fun?
- Go son, go!
You sure? - Sure.
Dad, ya? - Ya!
Hello Vancouver!!
"Vancouver here I come!"
"Right here in Vancouver
I'm gonna get a lover."
"She'll come to me my baby,
heavens what I'm after."
"This is my big chance,
to rock and roll and dance."
"I want to party harder,
searching for romance."
"O' God, this guy is so lovelorn."
"Gosh! He fails to
understand this norm."
"That it takes time for
the hearts to grow fond."
"Love takes time to bond."
"God, this guy is so lovelorn."
"Gosh! He fails to
understand this norm."
"And when I meet my baby."
"Shes going to drive me crazy."
"Dont know what I would do
that would get me high and hazy."
"This is the city where
I'm gonna get some action."
"Just wanna have some fun,
get some satisfaction."
"That it takes time for
the hearts to grow fond."
"Love takes time to bond."
"Right here in Vancouver
I'm going to get a lover."
"O' God, this guy is so lovelorn."
So here's the plan,
I have 21 days.
And in these 21 days,
lam going to meet 21 girls,
So, who's going to be the number 1?
Yeah! I am almost there.
Just chill.
Oh! I am sorry!
I didn't realize this cab was taken!
I am running so late, can I please have
this cab? I will do anything. - Anything.
Where do you have to go?
- Robson and 12th.
Really. - Ya?
Cause I am going to
Robson and 13th.
So can I share this cab with you?
- Ya, sure.
Thank you so much.
- Any time.
Papaji, Robson and 12th please.
- Sure.
- You are welcome.
Oh, my phone.
There's my phone.
So aren't you going to ask me out?
YOu s
' Yes!ay yes?
Will you have dinner with me?
No...but how about a drink tonight?
Seven thirty at the beach house?
Alright! Oh, by the way there is
no Robson and 13th.
There isn't? - No.
See you tonight.
Wow! You sure have
a way with women!
Do you know who she is?
- Who is she?
Check that out!
You hoo, waiter. Waiter.
You're talking to me?
Ya.. I need a corkscrew.
I'm not a waiter!
Liar. Liar.
Look, I'm not a waiter.
I'm just Neal.
Hi Neal.
You've hidden it, haven't you? - Huh?
There! - Excuse me?
Don't lie! - I'm not lying !
Give it to me! - Give what?
Just give it to me. - Give what?
Just give me the corkscrew!
Hey, hey what are you doing?
Give it to me! Look you're cute.
But you talk too much.
Give it to me!
Having fun?
Carry on. Don't let me stop you.
- Okay.
Oh, my God, do you know
what you have done?
Take your hands off.
Do you know who she is?
I was on a date.
Hey, excuse me, hello,
I am really sorry.
This girl was just trying to
get her hands in to my pants.
I mean, she was looking
for a corkscrew..
..she thought I was a waiter.
Don't worry about it, just forget it.
Let's start all over. - Sure.
I'm Kristy.
- Hi Kristy, I'm Neal.
And how about that
glass of red wine?
Coming right up.
Hello? Excuse me? Can someone
get me a drink please?
What are you doing here?
- I work here!
Then what were you
doing outside?
I was on a break... dumb waiter.
Anyway. May I get 2
red wines please?
How much?
It's on me! - Thanks.
Cheers! - Cheers!
Have you been drinking?
- No.
I just saw you, you are fired!
- You can't fire me.
Why not?
- Because I quit.
Hey Kristy, here you go.
- Thanks.
So you look like you can dance?
Yes...Well, I have a couple of moves.
Aren't you going to ask me dance?
- Ya.
"No anklets on my feet"
"No bangles in my hands"
"But I'm still searching for the one"
"No kohl in my eyes"
"No bindi on my forehead"
"But I'm still looking
for my lover's alley"
"Whoa, I want to show my body"
"Groove the night away"
"My heart just wants
to find its lover"
"Let's swing, let's dance!"
"Let's sing, let's prance!"
"Let's swing, let's dance!"
"Let's sing, let's prance!"
"I don't know who these eyes
are searching for"
"I don't know who these eyes
are searching for"
"For who I shall break
all the world's traditions"
"Who fulfills his vows
and completes his promises"
"I want to meet him
even if my heart bursts open"
"l won't be in control,
he'll also lose control"
"Whoa, I want to show my body"
"Groove the night away"
"My heart just wants
to find its lover!"
"Let's swing, let's dance!"
"Let's sing, let's prance!"
Nice song eh?
It's pretty interesting but
I don't understand the words.
You know I make some pretty
awesome music too.
Really? - Ya, you wanna hear?
I 'd love to
- Great, let's bounce.
"I think I see my lover
somewhere here"
"I think I see my lover
somewhere here"
"For my lover,
I'll cross all my limits"
"I'll pledge my life completely to him"
"I just want to say,
he is my treasure"
"if he hugs me now,
I'll die happier"
"Whoa, I want to show my body"
"Groove the night away"
"My heart just wants
to find its lover!"
"Let's swing, let's dance!"
"Let's sing, let's prance!"
"Let's swing, let's dance!"
"Let's sing, let's prance!"
Take me home!
Take me home!
Hey guys, the band will be back shortly.
Till then, enjoy the drinks and the groove.
Taxi! Taxi!
Taxi, Taxi...
Girls just want to have fun..
Wheres a taxi when you need one?
ls there anyone around? Taxi!
One second.
Hey come on,
lets get out of here.
NO. - Why?
Carry me. - What?
Take me in your arms!
My fiance and I need a room!
Cheap? Or best?
Room! Full night, half night,
half hour, five minutes?
1/2 hour! Cheap room!
4th floor
Thank you
Girls just want to have fun..
Let's swing, let's dance
Let's sing, let's prance!
Come here you!
Whos this?
This is Neal!
Whos this?
Wheres the girl
who the phone belongs to?
Shes kind of sleeping, whos this?
Thorny Rhino, whos this?
The Thorny Rhino in down town...
whos this? Hello? Hello?
All right so shes
not pressing charges.
Youre free to go.
But stay out of trouble,
And stay out of the Thorny Rhino!
I'm not here to cause any trouble.
I'm just... here to see the sights.
Weird! Ok, you bad little thing you!
I know what youre looking at.
I'm sorry.
Oh no, its ok, people look
at them all the time.
They do?
Well Yeah!
They think they're cute.
What do you think?
Ah... they are really nice!
Do you want to know their names?
Oh my God, they have names?
Ya sure, I would love to
know their names.
Ok, this one is Teeni
and this one is Beenie.
I am trying to help save the whales..
..and Teeni and Beenie
are my whales.
Oh, you know what?
I spent last summer in
Africa doing the same thing.
Trying to save the whales.
Really? - Yes.
Ok, there are no whales in Africa.
I know.. I couldn't save them.
Oh no! I'm so sorry,
you poor baby.
I know this really great place.
You can actually view the
whales in their natural habitat.. you want to come?
- Yes.
Really? - Yes.
Ok, come on lets go
- Let's go.
You can see the whales if
we swim just past that island.
Oh! And the water...its going to be
little bit cold but dont worry.
Once you jump in your body heat
is going to heat it up.
It makes it nice and hot.
I can't believe it, it's been so long
since I've brought anyone out here.
Are you ready. - Yes.
Are you excited? - Totally.
I'm so excited.
Arent you coming in?
Hello? - ls this Neal?
Are you the idiot who took me
to the hotel last night?
Yes, I mean no.
What? Did you take me to the
Thorny Rhino or not?
Yes! But, but but...l mean no
You mean you were not the
naked guy with me in the hotel room?
No! I mean yes! I mean no!
Neal I'm feeling cold.
Aren't you coming in?
Oh my God! Are you in hotel room
with a naked girl right now?
Yes. I mean no.
Eeww what a creep!
You will meet me in half an hour
at the Bayview Bar!
I want to know, what you were
doing with me last night.
I havent told the police
to take any action yet..
..but if you dont show up,
I will personally come and cut off your...
I'll be there.
May I help you?
Youre fired!
You cant fire me. - Why not?
Because I quit.
Hi, I'm Neal.
Ok.. nothing happened last night,
its a big misunderstanding!
In fact I was on a date,
and you were drunk..
...and you came on to me and...
I went to the hotel with you?
- Yes.
How drunk was I?
What do you mean?
Never mind, why did you
take me to a hotel?
Because you told me
to take you home!
I said home, not the Thorny Rhino!
And if my friend..
..hadnt called last night,
God knows what would have happened!
But nothing happened!
- I know!
Good. Then I'm glad
this is all cleared up.
I'm out of here! - No, sit!
Theres one thing I cant understand.
Why were you naked?
Did I tell you to take off your clothes?
Yes, I mean no.
Look I'm going to count to ten,
and if you don't tell me...
...what you were doing with me
in the hotel room..
...l will scream rape!
You dont know me, I will do it! One....
3-4-5-6-7-8-9-1 O
Ok look, I went for a shower
and when I came out..
...I saw that the towels were
placed next to you. - Why?
Because the hotel staff must
have put them there.
No stupid,
why did you go for a shower?
Because I felt like it!
I dont believe this!
Do you really think I want to be
anywhere near a desperate, alcoholic".
...crazy, stupid, dumb bimbo,
who thinks that she can get a date.. saying give me a corkscrew?
Oh my God! I'm sorry!
I didn't mean to...
My boyfriend left me....
he dumped me!
I should go.
Do you know why he left me?
No, but youre going to tell me?
Even I dont know!
I miss him. I hate him. Bastard!
But I dont know why,
I miss being in love.
But its over.
I know it must be tough, but by drinking
hes not going to come back!
Oh! No wonder your
boyfriend left you.
Nikita Bakshi.
Ah Guiness Towers please.
Hey Kristy! - Hey-
I've really missed you.
Where have you been?
I've been trying to reach you,
but I don't have your number.
Oh do you? Do you want it?
Ya Great
it's 555
Ya 555...555 Ya
Eew, you are gross
Oh that.
Cab driver please go.
Oh no no no, please no,
please you were saying 555
Just go.
Dont go, dont go,
dont go, dont go...
My doggys name is Bimbo.
Cool chick pad.
Dear Mom and Dad.
My d0ggys name is...
I know...Bimbo!
Good Morning Vancouver!
Weve got some
showers this morning but..
...I promise you it's going
to be a bright sunny clay.
Excuse me
Are you connected?
I want to check my email, may I?
Hi, I'm Karen.
Hi, I'm Neal.
Hi Neal. Nice to meet you.
You really like to dress up
for coffee, dont you?
I've just run away from a wedding!
Poor groom!
Not mine silly,
it wasnt my wedding!
Interesting pictures...
Oh! That! Actually,
I met her at a party...
...I spoke to her for a few minutes and
she just emailed me her photos
Oh! It must be difficult no?
Being so popular with the girls.
What to do?!
Ever since I've come to Vancouver,
girls just can't get enough of me!
Youre new to Vancouver? - Yes.
I know a girl whos exactly your type.
Would you like her number?
Sure! Why not?
Are you looking for a pen?
Mmmmm whats that?
Me. - Me smells nice.
Call her. Shes awesome.
Excuse me. - Yes.
Read my chest. - What?
Read my chest dude
Absolutely honey! 555-2072
Thank you
Oh I liked him.
Hi Neal.
Hi awesome!
We'll meet in the evening at seven,
Pacific Center. Don't be late.
Oh I just love tennis.
Want to play?
No! it's more fun watching.
You know, the power,
the swing , the energy...
And the mini skirts?
Actually, its only the mini skirts.
Shall we go?
Arent you going to have a shower?
Why? You dont like me
all hot and sweaty? Huh?
No I thought I would join you.
Hey Nikki. Hi!
I want you to meet someone special.
my new instructor Nikki.
Shes just joined us..
..and she plays very well
Come on!
Neal this is Nikki!
Nikki! Hi!
Hi! I'm Nicole!
Nicole" Nikki!
it's so nice to meet you!
It's so nice to meet you too!
Ah, may I? - Yes.
Nikki, Nikki, Nikki, Nikki, Nikki...
Shall we go?
You know, sometimes I feel...
I should leave professional law
and play tennis.
I just love the sport! The energy,
the physical exercise and the power!
I'm good at it you know, and I...
Come on, then why are you
smiling like that?
I just played strip poker
with you,in my mind..
.. and you lost!
That cant happen, I never lose.
I only lose when I want to lose!
I like to be in control.
So what makes you lose control?
Neal? it's me Nikki! Hi!
I've been looking all over for you!
You know that night
when you helped me.. the restaurant,
I felt like I found a true friend..
..we really bonded!
Nikki! - Yes?
What are you doing here?
Oh, it's my new job.
You know...
No, I dont want to know,
I dont want to!
Can't you see that
I'm doing someone...something?
What's your problem?
Why do you always.. up at the wrong place?
Why do you always come to the
wrong place at the wrong time?
In 21 days I'm getting
married and..
...I've only come to Vancouver
to get some action.
And this chick was the
easiest action ever!
I didnt mean that.
I could get you some action.
Oh, you also supply girls?
I can take you to a place where you..
...will get as much action as you want.
Thats why I came to Vancouver
Thats your mistake!
The only mistake I made
was meeting you!
Meeting me is the
best mistake of your life!
Oh really? How?
I can take you to Whistler.
Wow Whistler yeh!
What happens there?
Wouldn't you like to know?
Nikki! You owe me this.
Dude, Whistler is babe heaven.
All the beautiful girls of the
world live there. Jennifer Lopez?
No way!
Ya way! All the boys go there..
..whenever they want to
have a good time!
I didnt know that.
- I can see that
Very funny!
I can take you there.
Why? Why would you
take me there?
Because I feel sorry for you.
Youre getting married and all...
So youll take me to Whistler
because you feel bad for me?
I'm a nice girl.
Youre not nice, youre crazy.
Yeah! I'm a crazy nice girl..
...who's going to Whistler
to find a new job.
And this job?
I quit.
33, intelligent, lawyer, divorced
and disturbed, hates men!
I've got no chance with her.
What are you doing?
Do you see that girl? - Yes.
What do you think she does?
I dont know. - Go on, guess!
Ok shes probably a social worker..
..who works in an orphanage.
Plays with kids. She looks kind gentle,
loving and very sweet.
No! Stripper! - No!
Really? - Yes.
Just by looking at a girl
you can tell what she does?
Not only that, I can also predict
if she will know...
Really? - Yes.
Ok, Do me!
Here? Now?
No! Stupid! Analyze me.
Oh, ok. Rich parents! Only child!
Always protected by your parents.
You always did what you
wanted because.. know your parents are always
there to look after you.
But now you feel you cant do
anything on your own.
Youve become too dependent.
Thats why youve asked
your parents for a years..
..time alone in the city to prove that
you are independent.. can take care of yourself, and
you can take your own decisions
because youre a grown up now!
Oh my God, you got all that
just by looking at me?
No, I read the email you
wrote to your parents.
Oh ya, and youre a virgin
lam! No I am not! I..
lam not a virgin
Refusing to admit it!
Denial! First sign!
I'm so not a virgin!
Second sign - body language.
Nobody should come near me!
You don't know a thing,
I'm not a virgin.
I have clone it...l mean...
I've clone it lots of times.
Really? - Yes.
What does it feel like? - Kickass!
Kickass! - Yes.
Havent done it, huh?
No. But I choose not to.
That's why your boyfriend
chose to dump you.
Thats none of your business.
What do you think of yourself?
You think by reading
one email you know me?
You dont know a thing!
Hey, hey, hey! There is no need to get
angry, its your decision. Live with it!
lam living with it. - Good.
I dont even know if
I did the right thing or not?
It's so confusing. Sometimes I think
I should have with Trish...
You know, I should have
just done it with him.
Maybe he was the special one.
Ah the special one! Part of this
complete nutritious breakfast!
Go ahead, make fun of me!
No, I'm not going to.
You did the right thing.
The first time should be
with someone special.
Do you know why? - Why?
Because you never forget your 'first time'.
And if the first time is with an idiot.. have to remember that idiot
for the rest of your life.
And you? - What about me?
Who was your idiot?
Excuse me?
Your first time? Was it special?
Why would I tell you?
Why? Who was she?
I'm not going to tell you.
I know you paid for it!
You must have given money!
No I did not! - did too.
Did not! - did too.
Did not.
"Four was the age when
I fell in love for the first time."
"We glanced at each other
and fell in a rhyme."
"I'm cool now as I was then. "
"I'm supercool now as I was then."
"Hey, I'm the Neal I'm the man."
"Rockstar! Superstar!"
"Ok, so, what about you?
Whats your story girl?"
"I just gave my heart away,
without knowing it began to sway."
"I was 9 when I saw him on TV,
George Michael was his name."
"Oh that singer? Hes gay! "
"Did you know?"
"He swings the other way?"
"I was very young, and anyways."
..."l knew that riding a horse
my prince would come.."
"..and softly in my ears
he would hum."
"Nikki Bakshi, sweet n sexy."
"Full on rockin, Hot n Happenin."
"2 ones are 2. 2 twos are 4."
"When I used to calculate,
I loved her more."
"She taught Algebra in school, and
in my dreams she made me drool."
"What?!... you had the
hots for your teacher... Weirdo!!"
"Every girl in the world is my fan.."
"Non-stop loving is
the story of this man."
"I'm the Neal. I'm the man."
"Rockstar! Superstar!"
"Thirteen, fourteen."
"Boys were so boring."
"Fifteen, sixteen."
"You were boring?"
"Oh, grow up!"
"For my glimpse they
used to stand in a line."
"For my love they all pined."
"In my dreams my sweetheart stays."
"He comes to me at night and says."
"Nikki Bakshi."
"Sweet n sexy."
"Full on rockin."
"Hot n Happenin."
"if we had met then."
"We could have hooked up then."
"We would never work."
"Our pairing doesnt work."
"I'm cool now as I was then."
"I'm supercool now as I was then."
"I know, I know."
"Youre the Neal."
"Youre the man."
"Nikki Bakshi."
"Sweet n sexy."
"Full on rockin."
"Hot n Happenin."
Stupid... Idiot... Jerk...
Slime - ball...Cockroach.
Why have we stopped?
What does he think of himself?
- Who?
Him! My boyfriend!
That truck driver is your boyfriend?
Not him! Him!
Hes kind of big.
What does he think he is?
Just because his face is
on every hoarding, and..
..every box of cornflakes
he thinks he can dump me?
He will never get a girl like me
Never! Understand!
Thats true.
Hes not dumped me,
hes dumped true love.
You and Amanda can go to hell.
Whos Amanda?
A witch who Trish left me for.
Good job!
What didnt I do for him?
I even joined cookery classes for him.
How sweet.
Ok, so I almost killed him...
But did I tell him
to be allergic to onions?
I mean...whos allergic to onions?
I'm allergic to prawns.
It's not about you,
it's about me.
I'm so over him.
Good for you!
I've forgotten Trish completely!
- If anyone even asks me about Trish..
...I will say 'Trish.. who?'
- Very good.
God! It feels so good.
- Good.
Neal, hold me. - What?
Take me in your arms,
just hold me!
Nikki, I know youre recovering..
..from this Trish thing,
but I dont think you and I...
Neal, I only want you to...
just hold me.
Ok Nikki I think you need to relax...
What part of 'hold me'
don't you understand asshole?
I dont want to hold you!
Everyone is watching...
Hey! isn't that your boyfriend Trish?
Who? Where?
You horrible, evil,
manipulative little...
I can explain.
You brought me to Whistler for this?
To make your boyfriend jealous?
I cant believe I fell for this!
Actually it was quite easy.
And now since youre here,
just hold me.
Poor guy doesnt have a clue,
he doesnt know whats going to hit him!
You know what,
I'm going to tell him everything.
I'm going to tell him to run for his life. - No.
I'm telling every guy in this world
to stay away from you! Trish...
Why are you behaving like a girl?
You used me.
I only kissed you
Only? You call that only?
Before kissing something needs
to exist between people.
There needs to be some
sort of relationship.
A kiss is the meeting of
two spirits, two souls, two minds.
Oh for God sakes!
I didnt rape you!
You did worse. You conned me.
I needed your help.
- You should have just asked for it!
Would you have helped me? - No
Don't do that!
Neeeeeeeal. Dont play cute
with me. It wont work.
So what will?
Nothing! Nothing will work!
And what if I get you a girl?
Excuse me? Did you say
what I think you just said?
I'm the Neal!
I don't need your help,
I can get any girl I want!
Really? Then why did you
come to Whistler with me?
L.. I came to see the sights
Aahh. Go ahead pick a girl!
Choose a girl of your choice!
Fine. I can take a girl? That one!
That one?
Yeah! - Done.
Neal, meet my friend Marie
Nikkis been telling me all about you..
Really now
Shes easy, youll get some action!
If what she says is true, then..
Then we must hang out!
Come by my work.. the crab shack at 7,
and well get together
Stop drooling now, shes gone!
What did you say to her?
Do we have a deal?
Deal! What do I have to do?
You have to make me yours!
Cool. Shall we get a room?
Not like that stupid!
You have to win over my heart!
You have to write poems
praising my beauty..
..and then sing them for
me like songs of love.
The air will be filled with their melody,
they will echo from the mountains..
..rivers and the valleys and
everyone will hum your tunes!!
And when you sing, the whole world
will know what true love means!
Are you totally insane?
Who does these silly things?
You expect me to do this?
Dont be silly.
You performing Amitabh Bachchans songs?
Never! You have to do this.
I want to make Trish jealous!
I want make him beg!
When he sees you making
a complete fool of your self,
he will come running back to me.
Hell beg me to come back to him.
Men! They have small hearts,
small brains, and small.. everything!
Egocentric, possessive,
morons! Except you!
Ok I.. I'll do it, but on one condition.
No more of that kissing stuff huh, please.
Dont worry! Nobody kisses in hindi films!
"With the charming way you come
with the tunes that you hum"
"And with the way you smile."
"I'm in love."
"When we kiss and make up."
"I don't know for what reason."
"I'm in love."
"I've waited for ages."
"O' my God, I'm in love."
"O' my God, I'm in love."
"With rejection, with acceptance"
"And with your every nuance"
"I'm in love"
"Unknowingly and strangely,."
"From now to eternity."
"I'm in love."
"I've waited for ages."
"O' my God, I'm in love."
"O' my God, I'm in love."
"You're my dream,
my love my light."
"I just wanna spend
my life with you."
"Youre the one that
makes me smile."
"I just wanna spend
my life with you."
"Now that youve filled my dreams."
"I want stay in this trance forever!"
"I'm here all around you."
"I'm in your arms with you."
"Believe me, I'm real!."
"In the clay or in the night."
"..with everything that
keeps you within sight.."
in love"
"In sunshine and in rain.."
"..with our meeting time and again.."
in love"
"I've waited for ages."
"O' my God, I'm in love."
"O' my God, I'm in love."
"My darling lets go
chase the stars."
"You're my dream,
my love, my light."
"I just wanna spend
my life with you."
"Youre the one that
makes me smile."
"I just wanna spend
my life with you."
"The color of your eyes
is the color of the sky."
"Let me be a cloud in them."
"Youve played with the stars,
the moon is your friend."
"I'll be the cloud that engulfs you!"
"With the charming way you come
with the tunes that you hum"
"And with the way you smile."
"I'm in love."
"When we kiss and make up."
"I don't know for what reason."
"I'm in love."
"I've waited for ages."
"O' my God, I'm in love."
"I'm in love, I'm in love."
"I'm in love, I'm in love."
"You're my dream,
my love, my light."
"I just wanna spend
my life with you."
"My life with you."
"I just wanna spend
my life with you."
Hey, hello my dear.
What are you doing here?
Well I'm here for a..
you know an ad shoot..
...and well actually Nikki
I'm not going to lie to you.
I came here with Amanda.
We are here for the weekend.
So are we. This is Neal and
I'm not going to lie to you..
..this is my Neal.
Neal this is an old friend, Trish.
No way! Youre Trish?
Yeah the only one!
I'm like a big fan!
I've seen all your ads.
Especially your underwear one,
thats my favorite!
Get it on, get going man.
The briefs that make you feel like superman.'
Thats my favorite too you know?
What happenend to him?
He talks in French when
he gets really excited.
Yes, yes, true, true, yes!
Hey why dont you guys come
to my place for the day?
I dont think we can..
- We would love to.
Ah great! So I'll sms you
the address with directions.
It's not far, it's like half an hour
from here but you know..
..the way Nikki drives it might take
you like maximum five minutes.
I know what you mean!
So Neal it was really
good to meet you!
Yeah, it was good to
meet you too ah!
What are you doing?
Helping you!
You wanted Trish back, right?
Did you notice that he couldnt
lie to you about Amanda?
He still loves you!
Why do you think he
invited us to his house?.
Because he likes you
and not me!
He was totally indifferent towards me.
I'm going back to Vancouver
If thats the case, then why is he
turning around and checking you out!
Really? ls he checking me
out now? - Not now!
Ok, you can look now!
Just make him more jealous and
hell come running back to you!
Youre good!
I'm driving!
Hey guys please come in!
What a cool place you
have here Trish!
Thank you!
Well, the girls seem to like it.
Wheres Amanda?
Shes upstairs getting ready.
Ah, cool.
Hey I've put some crabs on the barbeque.
It might take a while to get ready.
You guys want to play a game?
What about water volleyball?
Great. So we have a guest room
just over there.
You can get changed.
And I'll meet you in the pool.
Hey, Nikki you look different.
ls it a new hair cut?
It's her eyes,
she's tried something new.
Youre right Neal. . .
its in the eyes. See you!
Hows it going, guys?
Hey you!
Hi Amanda
Oh I just loved the way you
sing to Nikki.
I mean I've never seen
someone so romantic.
I have to tell you it did something to me.
Something deep inside.
I mean I would do anything for
a man who would sing to me.
Do you want to swap partners?
In water volleyball, silly.
Come on you should be on my team,
I think it would be fun!
Let the games begin!
If you a get this next one,
I'll sleep with you.
Youre dead, youre gone.
Lets go! Lets go!
I'm coming to get you!
You are history!
I'm sorry
Are you sure youre okay?
Yeah of has
swollen up, hasnt it?
Just a little bit
How big is a little?
Oh my God! Show me a mirror now!
And you can carry me Trishi pooh!
Where are you going?
I'm going to kill Neal!
Wait, but it will slowly go down
I'm still going to kill Neal!
Wait, wait, wait. Ma chere.
Nobody is going to
notice your nose, I promise you.
Not when they can see
the rest of you.
Do know what was the first thing
I noticed about you?
My eyes?
No it was your smile,
your eyes.. this was a bonus
From the colours of the rainbow,
with the kohl..
...from your eyes, I've written
your name across my heart!
Come on! Lets go!
Now? - Yes, Now!
But I mean, I'm like, like you know
Come on! Let's go.
I love you!
No! She is mine.
Ok tell me now, what happened?
Oh my God! You did it! He wants
you back, right?
Yup he loves me and he hates you!!!!!
I just hate him! What the hell are you
doing with a guy like him?
Did you hear him when you were singing..
he.. he sounds like a pig..
..a pig with a sore throat!
I'm jealous, Nikki. It just
destroys me inside.
It hurt me so.. so bad!
Trishi pooh misses you so much!
I need you again! Please!
Come back in my life! Please!
And Amanda?
Amanda? Phhh, Gone! Finished!
Over! Wuuush! Asta Lavista Baby!
Aha! I told you! I told you so!
Knowing you, you must have melted
and gone running into his arms and said..
.. its so good to have you back, Trishi pooh!
No! I left him! I dumped him!
What? - I dont know?
I dont understand French.
But I thought you loved him!
Then why did you dump him?
Because he cheated on me!
The day I found out that
he was seeing Amanda..
...while he was with me, I forgot
everything we ever had!
The only thing that upset me was
why didnt I dump him first!
At first I thought it was my fault
that he left me for Amanda!
He made me hate me
and then it hit me.
Whos he to dump me?
I'll be the one to dump him.
So you did all this to get him back
only so you could dump him?
Yup - Doesnt make sense?
Youre a wont understand!
Nikki Bakshi youve got guts! I like it.
I hope you let him off easy.
Ya, you know me, I can't hurt anyone.
I'm harmless!
Come on, Neal!
Lets go! - Ok, but where?
It's payback time!
You've clone all this for me.
Now it's my turn. I'll give you
everything you've ever wanted!
Nikki Bakshi is going
to give you a night..'re going to remember
for the rest of your life!
Wait a minute,
Whats on your mind huh?
Why dont you read it!
Why are these people celebrating
Christmas in summer?
Have you seen the elves?
Oh my God, can I be Santa?
Go ahead, pick an elf!
Whats the hurry? Weve just arrived.
Let me check them out!
Can I have some red wine please?
Of course. Here you are
Thank you.
- Hey do you want to dance?
Ya, Sure...
Come on, come on, show it to me!
Oh no, I'm going to beat that!
What are you playing?
Strip poker! The one who loses
in this game has.. take a piece of their clothing off!
Ok I'm going to show it to you now...
Ok as you can see I am winning.
Excellent girls excellent, excellent!
I want to play, too.
Yes I want to play too!
Guys, can I play?
For sure girl!
For sure you can play!
I'll do anything to get you to play!
Youre not playing!
Ah Cmon man let her play,
look at her, shes hot!
Nikki, get up! - No.
You cant play! - Why?
Because I've said so,
this game is not for you.
Why? What are you afraid of?
That I'll win..
...or that I'll lose?
Ok, fine! Deal...
Ya now its going to get good!
So guys if I lose,
what do I take off first?
Ooh damn girl you dont even
want me to answer that.
Yey! So how many cards do I deal?
Neal! Have you gone crazy!
Dont touch me!
I'm just taking you for a little ride
Put me down! What are you doing?
I will hit you! I will hurt you!
One second - Put me down
Here! - Put me down, God!
You can play, but I cant?
You have such double standards!
Whats your problem?
Whats my problem?
Whats your problem!
Actually forget it, you wont
understand. Youre a girl!
Neal! Neal, Neal hey listen,
Listen, I'm sorry!
I was just bugging you!
Please sorry? You know when
you get angry you..
..look just like Scooby Doo.
Go ahead pick a girl.
Yes, think of this as
a Christmas present from me.
Pick the best one..
The girl who makes you
go weak in the knees!
So Neal, whos the girl who really
really does it for you?
Why did you do that?
Because you also wanted it! - No.
Come on Nikki, dont you think
something is happening between us?
Nothing is happening between us!
You know youre lying.
Why are you lying?
Look at the way you
give me that look.
What look?
That look! That 'come on
baby Rock My World' look!
Yuck! Puke.
You and me? Never!
Youre a jerk whos getting
married in a few days..
..and youve come here only
to get some action.
lam the good girl in the story.
Nothing can ever happen between us!
Nothing? - Nothing!
You didnt feel a thing?
You didnt feel the chemistry?
Don't you think the both
of us are always looking..
..for reasons to come
close to each other?
Really you didnt feel
anything at all? Nothing?
Oh my God! That was amazing!
You cant make me feel this good!
Whats wrong with you?
We have to solve this.
We have a problem!
Nothing can happen between
the two us! - Nothing
You go that way
and I'll go this way!
We'll stay far away
from each other!
Ya, thats a good idea!
Brilliant! Go!
Ok. You sure? - Ya!
See you in a hundred years.
What have I done?
I spent the night with Neal.
Neal the jerk. Neal the idiot...
Neal...the wonderful.
Last night was wonderful.
I've never felt so complete.
I dont know if youre feeling
the same way or not?
This feels so right. No you feel right.
Last night felt so right.
Neal youve lost it!
Youre talking about Nikki.
The same girl who went
crazy about her ex-boyfriend..
..the same girl who wanted
to cut off your...
Good morning.
- Good morning.
Good morning?
Whats the meaning of good morning?
Nikki, good morning means
that last night was..
..nothing for him.
You were just another girl.
Idiot why did you say
good morning like that?
Ok turn around,
hold her, and tell her..
.. how wonderful
this morning really is.
Why did she get up? Ok before
she goes somewhere talk to her!
It's a nice clay isn't it?
I dont believe this,
now were going to talk..
..about the weather?
How predictable,
who wants to talk
about last night? No one!
Would you like some coffee?
Coffeel? What I would like to
know is how were you..
...last night, Mister Know It All?
What I would like to
know is am I one of..
..those girls you came
to Vancouver for?
What I would like to know is
why are you asking me for coffee?
Coffee would be fine!
Coffeel? Why did I ask
her for coffee?
I dont even know
how to make coffee!
I wonder why I didnt
meet you earlier?
I think that.. - Dont even think that!
If you think that I am going
to drink that coffee.. must be crazy!
Look at her. She will be the perfect wife.
Mom will also like her.
Actually mom wont like
her at all, but who cares?
Nikki.. I want to say something
I knew this was coming,
next hell say
Nikki youre very sweet and
last night was very special but...
Nikki youre very sweet and
last night was very special...
Nikki hes about to dump you,
just like Trish!
Dont let him do it.
before he dumps you, dump him!
Neal I know what youre
going to say.
What happened last night,
happens only with few people.
Wow Neal! You and
Nikki think alike!
This is the perfect moment.
Propose to her!
Tell her you want to marry her.
Oh God, how pathetic!
Whats he doing on his knees?
Will he beg?
Will he ask me not to tell anyone?
Will he tell me not to expect
anything from him?
Before he hurts you, dump him!
It's ok, get up.
You can forget about last night.
It didnt mean a thing.
Lets move on, shall we?
Do you want me to drive?
Why, do you want to drive?
Do you want me to drive?
Good! - Good!
Did you want to listen?
Why have we stopped?
Guys, can we, can we please get
a ride to Vancouver? - Please?
Weve been walking on
this road for so long.
And, and we just really
need to get back.
I mean, were going
to lose our jobs if we dont.
Can we please get a ride?
Get in.
Can I turn the radio on?
Look whats he doing,
hes touching..
..the poor thing all over.
Hes doing it with her permission..
..and she seems to be enjoying it.
I knew the moment I saw him
that he is a scoundrel!
It could also be the other way around,
she could be playing him
It could also be that he will take
advantage of her and then leave her!
If she wants she can stop him..
..but its fairly obvious
that she doesnt want to.
I knew you would think like that!
You guys are all the same.
After you get what you
want youre gone!
It's not always our fault!
She must have brought..
...the poor guy here
by blinding him with..
..her sweet talk so she can
have a good time.
She probably has an ex-boyfriend
who dumped her..
..and now shes using this guy
to get even with him.
Get out!
Nikki? Nikki?
What are you doing? Nikki?
Whats wrong with you?
I'm saying goodbye! Last night was
the biggest mistake of my life.
Nikki, Nikki, Nikki,
Nikki listen to me, Nikki...
And now youre the idiot who I have
to remember for the rest of my life.
Get out! Get out!
With God's grace I've been
given this opportunity.. unite two wonderful families.
This is Baldev Raj, who I know
for quite some time.
It's ok, stay seated please.
This is Sweetys mother
whos come from Bhatinda,
And this is her elder brother Kuldeep..
..who owns this house.
Sister, please call Sweety.
"With anklets on her feet, the girl with
a creamy complexion has arrived."
"Everyone calls her Sweety."
"Everyone calls her Sweety."
Hello - Wow, shes beautiful!
ls this the first time youve
come to Canada?
No, I used to come during
my summer vacations.
How do you like Canada?
- I feel at home!
Sweaty, you forgot the cake...
You forgot the cake! Oh ehm, ehm,
This is my daughter Nikki. She and Sweety
are cousins, but they behave like sisters.
Theyve shared everything in life!
Tea? - No Thanks
Cake? - Yes Please!
Cake? - No, Thank you!
You, inside!
What are you doing here?
Mom said the boys name
was Gurneal Ahluwalia
That would be me!
lam Gurneal Ahluwallia!
You know, GurNEAL Ahluwallia!
You know what you have to do, right?
I know, I have to change my name.
No, GurNEAL!
Go outside and tell everyone..
..that you cant go through
with this wedding.
Why? Why would I do that?
Because you dont want
to marry my cousin!
I dont want to...
or you dont want me to?
I dont give a flying...
Really? By looking at you
it doesnt seem like it.
It looks like you give
a flying everything!
Thats what you think!
You know what I think?
I think I should get
married to Sweety.
What? - yes.
I kind of like her,
shes the type of girl.. get married to.
Shes not the other type.
What other type?
The type of girls I've recently met...
Dont even go there
Like that girl...
what was her name?
Marie that witch! Or that
man-eating monster Karen?
Or that shameless,
naked girl who took.. to see the whales,
what was her name?
Hey, hey! Thats not fair!
Youre hitting below the belt
Oh, I havent even started yet.
Hey, where are you going?
I'm going to tell everyone
what you were doing in Vancouver".
..or rather who you
were doing in Vancouver!
You wouldn't!
Wouldn't I?
Nikki! - What happened darling?
Neal wants to say something
to all of you!
L dO!?
Neal, whats the matter son?
- Nothing.
Nothing at all, nothing, nothing,
what happened? Nothing
Neal wants to marry Sweety.
And he wants it to happen
as soon as possible.
Heartiest congratulations to all!
Marriages are made in heaven
Congratulations, Gurneal Ahluwallia!
Ok Nikki Bakshi, I will get married..
...but I'll make you dance
on my wedding clay!
"I've locked eyes with
a beautiful girl."
"I've locked eyes with
a beautiful girl."
"Let's dance my friend,
I've locked eyes with her!"
"Let's rock my friend,
I've locked eyes her!"
"My love, I'm not going
to sleep tonight."
"My love, I'm not going
to sleep tonight."
"As today our eyes have met."
"As today our eyes have met."
"Dancing the night because
I've locked eyes with her."
"The feeling is right because
I've locked eyes with her."
"Party all night because
I've locked eyes with her."
"The music's so right because
I've locked eyes with her."
"Since our eyes have met,
I'm going to dance with you."
"With anklets on I'm going
to dance with you."
"Show me your moves if you
want to dance with me."
"Get in to groove if you want
to dance with me."
"My love, I'm not going
to sleep tonight."
"My love, I'm not going
to sleep tonight."
"As today our eyes have met."
"As today our eyes have met."
"Dancing the night because
I've locked eyes with her."
"The feeling is right because
I've locked eyes with her."
"Party all night because
I've locked eyes with her."
"The music's so right because
I've locked eyes with her."
"I'll flutter my eyes in your arms."
"I'll flutter your heart when I dance."
"I drive you crazy because
I'm making you crave."
"You want me baby because
I'm making you crave."
"My love, I'm not going
to sleep tonight."
"As today our eyes have met."
"I've locked eyes with
a beautiful girl."
"I've locked eyes with
a beautiful girl."
"Let's dance my friend,
I've locked eyes with her!"
"Let's rock my friend,
I've locked eyes her!"
"My love, I'm not going
to sleep tonight."
"As today our eyes have met."
"Dancing the night because
I've locked eyes with her."
"The feeling is right because
I've locked eyes with her."
"Party all night because
I've locked eyes with her."
"The music's so right because
I've locked eyes with her."
So, you are getting married to her?
Isn't that what you wanted?
Ok fine, Get married to her!
See if i care...
No! I wont!
You wont?
No because I know you wont
let this wedding happen!
Really? Why?
Why would I do that?
I know you Nikki Bakshi!
You couldnt watch me
dance with Sweety.. will you let me marry her?
I hate you, Gurneal Ahluwallia,
I hate you.
Hello, welcome. - Hello!
Heartiest Congratulations!
- To you too!
Here I am, and where are you?
Ah, you must be bringing
the puja plate! Thats where you are...
Aunty where is Nikki?
I dont know, weve also been
searching for her since morning.
Where has she gone?
Nikki where are you?
Hi, hi. Good, How are you?
Listen I need to talk to you
Weve got it all planned out Neal.
In about a week this
whole drama will turn into....
What drama?
If you run out from your own engagement
theres obiviously going to be some drama!
Who is running from the engagement?
You, of course. We couldnt do it
but now you can do it.
Here are the tickets...
And the car is waiting
for you in the back.
I am not running anywhere,
I'm looking for Nikki
Thank you - Nikki?
Wh0s Nikki?
Nikki, my Nikki!
The girl I'm getting married to!
Her name is
Sweety! Not Nikki!
No dude! Youre not getting it.
I get it! Hes lost it.
Hes hysterical.
He cant think straight anymore!
Maybe his suit is too tight.
Sometimes I can't think straight
when I'm wearing tight clothes.
Youre always wearing tight clothes.
- Exactly.
Guys! Guys! Focus!
Look for Nikki!
Neal what are you doing
standing here?
Were all waiting for you.
Come son, come!
Oh I need to check on
all the preparations.
Aunty, has Nikki arrived?
No she hasnt come yet.
I dont know where this girl has gone?
Welcome all. Today we have all
gathered here for the engagement
ceremony of Satwinder Kaur
and Gurneal Ahluwallia.
May God shower
his blessings upon them.
And now they shall exchange
the engagement rings.
No thanks
This is not good!
Where are you Nikki?
I'm going to get engaged.
ls this an engagement ring?
- Yes, son
When this is slipped
into someones finger..
..does it mean you are engaged?
Good, son. Now you understood everything.
And then after the engagement,
its the wedding? - Yes of course!
One second...
Have you seen Nikki?
Nikki? NO
Ok Go back.
It's mine. Hello?
Are you the jerk
who slept with me and.. now marrying my cousin sister?
Yes! I'm the jerk
who's marrying your cousin.
So youre not going to
stop this engagement?
No! And if you dont want
this engagement.. happen, you know
what have to do!
Yes Gyaniji, where were we?
Shes here!
This engagement cant happen!
Happy, whats happened to you?
I'm not going to allow this
engagement to happen!
I love Sweety, I've loved her
since childhood!
Weve even exchanged vows
over the internet.
I cant live without her.
Whats happening? Sweety and
Neals marriage is confirmed!
I know father that you dont
want me to marry Sweety.
You're always saying
that Sweety is very clever".
..that shell make a mouse out of me..
..and that shes perfect for Neal.
But I dont believe it!
Do I look like a mouse?
Sweety, hold this please.
Neal brother,
I'm a lover not a fighter.
But for Sweety I'm ready to fight.
Put 'em up! Put em up, brother.
Happy you cannot marry Sweaty.
No, no, no. Shes all yours dude.
I dont want to marry Sweety.
Sweety is all yours! Enjoy.
Thanks Neal brother!
- Youre welcome.
Lets go Sweety!
Happy, listen to me.
You cannot marry Sweety!
"Wearing a pink dress.
And sequined shoes."
"Come with me to the fair!"
Pick a line? - What?
Any line. - What do you mean?
When a boy asks a girl
for her hand in marriage..
..he needs to pick a line.
So whats your line?
Nikki Bakshi, will you marry me?
Thats your line?
What part of falling in love
dont you understand, jerk!
I havent met a stupid, dumb,
idiotic boy like you ever before!
Remember that morning, it was
such a special morning..
.. but did you say
I love you Nikki baby?
No! You asked me do I want coffee?
I dont like coffee,
I dont even drink coffee.
You know what your problem is?
Youre a thirteen year old spoilt brat who
will stay thirteen, for the rest of her life!
And I'm the only one who can
tolerate you because".
...I'm a fourteen year old brat who will be
fourteen years old for the rest of my life.
And thats why you fool we are
perfect for each other.
I want to be part of every
part of your life!
So now tell me
Nikki Bakshi, will you marry me?
First promise me that
whenever I get emotional...
you will take care of me?
Promise me, that whenever I get confused
you will make me undererstand?
Promise me that every day you will love me
the way you are loving me right now?
Promise me that you will
never look at other girls?
Ok where are we going now?
Ok ask me. - What?
Just do it!
Nikki Bakshi will you marry me?
Cool, so. . ..shall we. . .kiss.
Good. Even I dont want to
Good. - Good.
Fine. - Fine, see you at the wedding then
Ok. - Bye. - Bye.