Night Drive (2021) Movie Script
1
All right,
it's technically the 22nd day
of Christmas.
Santa is gearing up
and so is traffic.
Keep an eye out
for lane closures on the 405
and an overturned semi
on the 110 near Rosemont.
Uh-oh!
We're taking your most embarrassing holiday stories,
so give us a call.
If Debby and the Squid like it,
you might win VIP tickets
to the Rose Bowl pre-show
featuring Patti LaBelle
and Lance Bass.
- Russell.
- Hey, Russ.
How long you been driving
for Jaunt?
Oh, it's been around
eight months.
Oh.
Got a little on the beard.
You could just set it
right there.
I'm gonna put it up
in a little bit.
- You hangin' on that door?
- Yeah.
I thought
it would look festive.
Really festive.
I really appreciate your help.
Don't worry about it.
Merry Christmas.
Thanks.
Charlotte?
Who's asking?
Uh, you called for a Jaunt,
right?
- Russell?
- That's right.
Do you have any water
or lollies or anything?
Okay,
I've got some gum maybe.
How how'd you get a 4.9
without the goodies?
You might not be able to tell
from the back of my head,
but I'm charming
as heck.
We'll see about that.
You're goin' to
Atwater Village?
Yep.
Any route you want me
to take or follow the GPS?
Dealer's choice.
You got it.
Music?
No music.
I have a USB if you wanna
play your own stuff.
- Do people actually do that?
- Play their own stuff?
Yeah.
Not really.
That's too bad.
I feel like it'd be interesting,
you know,
like, hearing all the
embarrassing shit
that comes on shuffle
on people's phones.
Oh yeah.
It'd be like
a sociological experiment.
You should try it.
You wanna be
my first test subject?
Fuck, no.
Can I already tell you
what mine would be?
What's that?
"Yellow" by Coldplay.
Sorry.
How old are you,
if you don't mind me asking?
I don't mind.
What year are we in again?
I'm 22.
And you?
How old do you think I am?
Uh, 5...
You're like, 55.
55?
Hey, the front of your head
is much more charming
than the back of it.
Thanks.
My uncle uses Just For Men.
Good stuff.
- Ugh.
- Highly recommended.
This is going to be
a long ride.
Oh, God,
you're so sensitive!
Are you an actor
or something?
Not even close.
Huh.
Shit. Um, do you think
you could wait for me
outside my next destination
and I'll just run in,
I'll be five minutes,
- I'll come right back out?
- Sure.
Yeah um,
you just need to go in the app,
type in the next destination,
it's on the um...
You can't just like wait
for me like five minutes?
Yeah, yeah, you just...
if you wanna go somewhere else,
you go into the app,
you type the next place in.
I really don't wanna
work that hard.
We cool?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
take as long as you need.
Actually, you know...
I do have a Christmas party,
sort of a...
Like a friend
from my last gig kinda thing,
- it starts around 9:00.
- Mm-hmm.
Nine-ish.
So I don't know where
you need to go tonight,
but I told him that I might...
Cancel?
You took the words
right out of my mouth.
Yeah.
Just tell me where it is.
It's this house right here.
- Okay, so you'll just wait here?
- Yeah.
I'll be in and out.
Perfect.
- Car stays running?
- Yeah.
Okay.
Don't leave.
Go, go, go, go!
Hey man, watch it.
Charlotte!
Who the fuck is this guy?
Charlotte.
Open... Oh!
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no!
Charlotte!
Pedal to the fucking metal!
Oh, you fucking bitch.
Jesus Christ,
are you all right?
Fucking prick.
That guy hit you?
Yeah, he's an arsehole.
- You want me to take you to a police station?
- No.
But I do need a drink.
Thanks.
To world peace.
Okay.
Do you come here a lot?
Here?
No.
Atwater?
Yes.
I uh, used to share
some office space out here
in my previous life.
That's funny.
People usually think
they're like Mozart or Napoleon
in their past life,
but you...
You shared an office space
in Atwater.
No. Not...
Not a past life, jeez,
that would be depressing.
No, my uh, previous life
before driving.
What about you?
Probably Claudette Colbert.
She died the day I was born.
No, do you come
to Atwater a lot?
Sure.
That was my ex's place,
in case you couldn't tell.
Seems like kind of a dick.
Kinda.
So what did you do
in this previous
- Atwater life of yours?
- Hmm?
Oh, um,
tech, you know,
development stuff.
Sounds boring.
You know,
that travel app Far Away?
Yeah.
I developed that.
- Bullshit.
- I did.
Give me my 5 hundy back.
Hell no.
What? You just do this
driving shit for fun?
No.
I uh...
I let my partner buy me out
before they went public.
That explains the sweet ride.
Yeah,
I got that after the buyout.
Probably not the smartest way
to drop 70K.
Hindsight's 20/20
and all that jazz, I guess.
You're still a zygote.
Someday, you'll look back
at that one moment
where you picked the path
of least resistance
and everything
just went to shit.
But I hope I'm wrong.
You know what
they say about uh,
choosing the road
less traveled?
They are probably right.
Anyway, sorry,
you paid for fun.
So what about you?
How'd you wind up out here?
You're from...
- Australia.
- Right.
Actress or something?
Or something.
- Any family out here?
- No.
Going back there
for the holidays?
There isn't really a there
to go back to.
Um, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to...
Don't you get tired
of hearing people talk
about themselves all day?
Well, it's better
than hearing myself prattle on
for eight hours a day,
answering the same
five questions.
"How long have you
been doing this?"
"Do you do other
drive shares?"
Uh, "What's the furthest out
you've had to drive?"
- Where is the furthest out you've had to drive?
- Coachella.
No way.
They make you do that?
Yeah, some people
even had to go to Las Vegas.
Good to know.
Hmm, Shakespeare
or a Marilyn Monroe quote about twinkly stars?
Uh, the only phrase
that can make a happy man sad
and a sad man happy.
You're so worldly, Rusty.
Let's get out of here.
Let me drive.
What?
I had half a beer,
you had two.
Trust me, I'm fine.
See?
Hmm?
Watch.
Sharp as a tack.
Keys.
Do you even have a license?
Yes.
In California?
Give me the keys.
Are you paying me
to drive or to argue?
Get in.
Look,
after 55 years
or whatever you said,
I think I would know
when I'm too drunk to drive.
Two beers
plus a pound of bar mix
does not equal inebriation.
Indigestion, maybe,
but not inebriation.
You're right.
I'm sorry, I just...
I forget that someone
who weighs like 250 pounds
could probably drink
like a six pack
without getting drunk.
2... 200 and fifty... what?
You wear it well.
I mean, like, I'm sure
there's some muscle under there.
Ooh, thanks.
And don't get so defensive
about it.
Thank... thank you so much.
Seriously, though,
what do you weigh?
Like 195?
Thank you very much.
Mm-hmm.
Well, that's... that's actually
quite respectable.
If I give you back 100 bucks,
will you cool it on the digs?
Probably not.
Oh, will you make
a turn over there?
Where are we going now?
I don't know.
Don't you just like driving
at night sometimes?
No.
Oh, look at those
pretty lights.
Fuck, he's still breathin'.
Oh, Jesus Christ,
we gotta call 911.
Hold on.
Just take a deep breath.
Let's just think this through.
He's practically dead.
He's gotta go to a hospital.
Are you stupid?
You take him
to a fucking hospital
and they'll lock you up.
How about we...
we just swing by a hospital
and drop him off?
You know,
the uh, emergency room?
And say it... it... it was
like a... a hit-and-run
that we witnessed.
I mean I...
I don't know.
W... we...
we can't just leave him here.
Is everything all right?
I'm sorry,
my boyfriend's shitfaced
and he's acting like a dick.
Frank, honey, get up.
I thought I heard a bang
out here or something.
Oh, jeez, I'm sorry.
Uh, he jumped out of the car
while we were driving.
He's not normally like this.
He looks pretty bad.
Yeah, he got fired from work
this afternoon
and it's just been really shit.
Honey.
Frank, get up.
Frank, you're making a scene.
Get up.
Help me.
Let's put him in the backseat.
He all right?
Yeah, he's just really worried
with Christmas coming up,
and it's gonna be really hard
for him to find a job
until the new year,
and... and his sister
just had another miscarriage.
Oh, hey, no, no.
I... I... I understand,
it... yeah, it's...
It's rough out there.
Merry Christmas!
Fuck, I can only get
like one bar out here.
Just look up
a fucking hospital!
There's one in Glendale.
It's only got 2.5 stars.
It doesn't matter
how many stars it has!
Where is it?
- Central Avenue.
- Fine.
Here.
Put that away.
I can't keep it.
I still expect you
to finish the job.
No.
We drop him off
and then I drop you off.
- I don't think so, Rusty.
- I don't care what you think.
You should.
I am the sole witness
to a pretty bad crime.
It was an accident.
Yeah, but moving him,
putting him into your car...
All your idea.
I was just tryin'
to help you.
Help me or help you?
I just think it's best
we don't involve the cops.
We're still dropping him off.
Like you said,
it was an accident.
I mean,
look at Inspector Gadget.
He literally hit someone
and he is sweet.
What?
You know,
the Inspector Gadget guy?
Matthew Broderick?
Yeah.
Oh, Christ.
Oh, jeez.
It's okay, man!
You're okay!
We're on our way
to a hospital.
Help him!
With what?
Dude,
what the fuck just happened?
Yeah, I think he...
he might be dead.
He's dead.
Oh, my God!
Well, at least, you don't
have to go to the hospital now.
Dude, wake up.
Come on, man.
Wake up.
Wake up!
Oh, Jesus Christ.
This isn't happening.
This is some crazy
fuckin' nightmare
and all of a sudden
I'm gonna be in a Ferris wheel
with my eighth grade
math teacher or something
any minute now.
Did you check his pocket
for goodies?
Don't touch him!
Ow!
It's not like he cares.
What?
You're acting
like this is no big deal,
which is really fucking
with my mind right now.
Aren't you guilty
or worried or I... I...
I don't know, freaked out,
nauseated, something?
I don't know.
Do you have some
kinda record?
Is that why you didn't want me
to call the cops?
You're tryin' to cover
your own ass?
I don't need this.
- What?
- I wanna get out of the car.
- Are you insane?
- I wanna get out.
W... wait, wait.
You're j... you're just
gonna stick me with this guy?
I wanted to leave him there,
and call the cops,
and you're just gonna stick me
with the fuckin' dead guy?
Well, are we in this together
or not?
Because I feel
like I've been pretty cool
throughout this whole situation.
Seriously?
I don't need this.
Pull over.
All right,
we're in this together.
We're in this together.
Just get back in the car.
No.
- Where are you gonna go?
- I'll just get another ride.
Get in the car, please.
Please.
No.
Look,
I'll give you your money back.
I need you.
You're resourceful and kinda...
- Deviant.
- Thank you.
Plus that guy is really hard
to carry by myself.
Put the money away, Rusty,
it's tacky.
- Can I drive?
- No.
You sure they're still open?
Yelp says they close
at 10:00.
All right,
we got 12 minutes.
Well, you parked
so bloody far away.
Why'd you have to do that?
It's gonna take us fuckin'
10 minutes to walk there.
You sure he's okay here?
What's he gonna do?
He's dead.
Do we cover him up?
It's dark.
What if somebody comes by?
- Like who?
- I don't know.
I don't know like, vagrants
or maybe cops on patrol?
- Well, do you wanna stay here while I go in?
- No.
Okay. Um...
- Should I stay here, keep watch and you go in?
- No.
Good evening.
Just stick with the plan
and quit acting suspicious.
I'm sorry,
I didn't realize "good evening"
was an admission of guilt.
Just get your shit
and meet me back
at the register.
Good evening.
Hey.
Ah, those look nice.
Your mom's really
gonna like that purple one,
it goes with her um...
What do you call them?
Things they hang up
on the wall?
A dreamcatcher?
No.
No, it's uh,
it's what makes the noise.
Uh, you know what I mean?
You know, it uh, yeah,
the wind...
wind goes through it
and then... chimes!
Wind chimes.
It'll match her purple
wind chimes.
She loves her wind chimes.
She loves them.
Doing some pruning.
You know, mom thinks
it's very important
we cut the tips of the plants,
so they don't get overgrown.
She knows.
Actually, I work in plumbing.
Cool.
- Darling?
- Hmm?
Are we not supposed
to get a saw or an axe
or something like that?
I changed my mind.
Mom's gonna be pissed.
Well, she'll just
have to get over it.
Those are actually buy one,
get one 50% off.
Oh, then we don't
have to share.
You want a bag?
I'll hold these.
It's $84.31.
- You folks need any help out to your car?
- No.
No, thank you.
Come on, hurry up.
Why do I feel like
you've done this before?
This is so fucked.
What are even gonna do
when we get there?
Get our shit.
Oh, yes, of course.
Uh, "Excuse me,
sir or ma'am,
uh, we'd like to get
our shit back.
Don't worry,
you can keep the body."
I wasn't planning on asking.
What, you're just gonna
hit him over the head
with your hammer?
Don't you want your car back?
Probably not.
It's probably better this way.
I report the car stolen,
some asshole has it,
they killed the dude,
no harm, no foul.
"I don't know, officer,
we just got carjacked."
- No.
- This is perfect.
This is our perfect out.
What are you doing?
Getting our shit back.
Oh, God!
Look, I'll buy you new jewelry
or whatever it is
you've got in there, just...
This isn't worth it.
Real nice, arsehole!
Okay, okay,
let's just stick with the one
vehicular manslaughter
for today.
Where's the fucking body?
I don't know. This whole thing
has been really fuckin' crazy.
Look, I know, I know,
I know, okay?
But I need to get
that suitcase back.
We're still talking about
the goddamn suitcase.
I told you,
it's not worth it!
The body is gone.
The suitcase is a really
distant second
to the missing body!
- Okay, you wait here.
- What?
You wait here,
I'll run inside.
If I'm not back in five minutes,
just take the car and scram.
Oh, you're just gonna
knock on the door
and beat the guy
with the hammer?
No, I'm gonna break in,
then I'm gonna beat the guy
with the hammer.
Okay,
Jesus Christ,
I hope you're still there.
What?
I got mugged two months ago.
You've had that
the whole time.
I'm sorry, you're right.
I guess it would have been handy
when that guy flipped you off
or maybe we could have
just held up the hardware store
instead of paying for those
goddamn plants and shit.
Do you even know
how to use that?
If you want,
I can wait here
and you can just go inside
with that hammer.
I fucking hate you.
Where is it?
I will give you 10 seconds
to get out.
- Russell!
- Let her go.
You are in way over your head,
man.
Shut up.
The suitcase?
All right?
Grab it and let's go.
What do you wanna do
with him?
Nothing.
Let's go.
2SBI653?
Excuse me?
It's your license plate
number, right?
Yeah.
Let's go.
Look, you want money
or something?
A fuckin' ride to the ER?
I don't know.
Can't we work
something out here?
Have you lost your mind?
He knows
my license plate number.
He's gonna call
the fucking cops!
- Bingo.
- Bull shit.
The fuck are you listening
to this bitch for?
Leave the case.
It's like none of this
ever happened.
Fuck no.
- Leave it.
- Nope.
I'm not goin' to jail
over your goddamn suitcase,
leave it!
Nope.
Charlotte, we're going.
You really think
I'm gonna let you
fuck this up for me again?
Shit.
Now, we really gotta bury him.
What do you think,
like some sheets
or something to wrap him up in?
Or maybe a shower curtain liner,
you know, less dripping.
I'm sorry, what?
Russell,
we need to get him out of here.
What difference does it make?
Uh, you...
you hit him with the car.
I shot him, he was dead,
then he wasn't, now he is.
Oh.
Oh, God.
I don't... I don't think
I have the stomach for this.
It was an accident?
Accidents happen.
But this...
Wha...
What the fuck
is wrong with you?
You wait here,
I'll go find something
to wrap him in.
Maybe you can find a ginger ale
in the fridge or something
to settle that weak-ass
stomach of yours.
But in 10 minutes,
I'm gonna be back
and you're gonna help me carry him out.
Understood?
Okay.
Great.
Look what I found.
It's raining cats and dogs.
Weird choice,
but I kinda like it.
No?
Let's wrap him up.
You got any troubles?
Yeah.
Good, let's go.
- What?
- Nothing, hold on.
- What's so funny?
- Sorry, what?
You... never mind.
Don't you think this song
is kinda dark?
Like, isn't it a bad thing
if babies don't cry?
Couldn't they turn out to be
down syndrome or something?
I think it's just implying
that He was a really good baby.
Hmm.
Top five
favorite Christmas songs.
Um, uh, I would say,
number one,
"All I Want for Christmas Is
You", Mariah Carey, obviously.
- Two, "Frosty the Snowman" by Michael Bubl.
- What?
Um, three,
"Christmas in Harlem"
by Kanye West.
That's a good one.
Um, hmm.
What's that rockin' song
in Home Alone
where Kevin's tryin'
to scare away the robbers,
and he puts the mannequin
on the turntable,
and then he has
that cardboard cut-out
of um, uh, Michael Jackson.
It's Michael Jordan.
Yeah,
those are probably my favorite
and I can't think
of another one,
so I probably only have
a top four.
What are yours?
Yeah, yeah, those are good.
You don't like them?
Uh, the Mariah Carey one
is nice.
Oh come on, get into it!
Okay, I... I was...
I was always partial
to "The Little Drummer Boy" duet
between Bowie and Bing Crosby.
Fuck, how can you listen
to Bing Crosby?
You know,
he raped like 50 million women.
No, not Bill Cosby.
Bing Crosby.
What's the matter with you?
There's a lot
to keep track of.
I guess.
You don't know.
Well, how far
are you making me drive?
Why? Are you still planning
on tryin' to make that party?
Well, we might need
to stop for gas soon.
Well, I really enjoyed
your sob story earlier.
You know,
about your life turning to shit,
and your girlfriend leaving you,
all that stuff.
But somehow
you had a really cool friend
throwing a Christmas party
that you ditched
to hang out with me.
That guy wouldn't bail me out.
And what about you
and this hilarious texter?
You're sitting there,
yuckin' it up,
but before you're acting
like your whole family died
in a house fire
and you're the only one
- that made it out alive.
- Shut the fuck up!
What mumsy and dadsy
cut off your Amex Black
and you're practically or...
Ow, Jesus!
You don't talk
about my family.
Alright.
Christ.
I'm sorry.
- Do you wanna talk about...
- No.
Okay.
Well, what I said
before was true.
I don't have...
Look, Rusty,
I'm sure you've made some
very shitty decisions
in your life and yeah,
- your girlfriend left you.
- Wife.
Whatever, okay?
I don't care
and I'm not interested.
- I was just tryin' to make...
- Well, don't.
Because our shit is different.
You got that right.
12 miles that way.
Oh, bury a lot of bodies
out in Winchester?
Nah, just this one.
Grab the feet.
There's no one around here.
Hello?
See?
Go get the shovels.
What now?
We've gotta get rid
of his fingers and teeth.
Yeah.
No, I'll dig the hole.
You do whatever it is
you're gonna do with those.
You sure?
Absolute-fucking-lutely.
Suit yourself.
You know,
if they find him,
they can probably identify him
using his DNA.
Yeah,
but why make it easy for them?
Poor, stupid,
presumptuous Frank.
Frank?
Yeah, my drunk boyfriend,
remember we told that guy.
Remember?
Sure.
So I guess
I just take the hammer.
Oh, they're all
going inside his mouth, gross.
You done?
Yeah.
I'm gonna just have to
pick them out of his mouth.
Gross.
I'm glad this is so hilarious.
Well, if I don't laugh,
I'll cry.
You don't cry.
Okay, well, if I don't laugh,
I'll throw up.
Fair enough.
Did your parents ever do
that This Little Piggy thing?
Sure.
This little piggy
went to the market,
this little piggy went...
- Home.
- Yeah, I got it.
This little piggy
went wee, wee, wee
all the way home.
You all done?
Mm,
I got five little piggies left.
Think you can do
without the commentary?
Rusty doesn't want
the commentary, Frank.
Stop callin' him "Frank".
Frankly,
I don't give a franking Frank.
Just...
stop humanizing him.
I'm sure this is like a typical
Saturday night for you,
but I'm just trying
to get through this
without projectile vomiting,
okay?
Just...
finish the thing with the hand
and cover him up.
Jesus Christ!
This little piggy
went to the market,
this little piggy went home.
This little piggy went
all the way wee, wee,
wee, wee home.
Done.
Maybe we shouldn't wrap him up
in plastic,
it might fuck up the decaying.
You're probably right.
You know,
every bit of plastic
that's ever been made
is still around.
- Bullshit.
- It's true.
What about if you burn it?
Are you done or what?
- It'll go faster if you help.
- I already did my bit.
Fine.
Help me out, Rusty?
You look like
you've done this before.
Really?
I did a little landscaping
in college.
There used to be
this office park.
- I had to sit on the lawn mower.
- Let's get him in.
Let's cover him up.
Hey, what do you wanna do
about those?
Burn 'em.
What?
I thought you said
you can't destroy plastic.
That doesn't sound right.
Do you have a lighter?
No.
Hey,
you can't just burn that here.
Why?
Because there's...
there's brush everywhere.
We should have got like acid
or something.
- Acid?
- Yeah, you know...
Follow me.
I would fucking kill
for a cigarette right now.
Or a vape.
A vape would be good.
You know, they have
French-toast-flavored vape.
Now, I feel like French toast.
French toast with bacon,
and strawberries,
and caramelized banana.
And like a side of fruit,
but not cheap, good fruit,
like with mango,
and blueberries,
and kiwi fruit,
and passion fruit,
and a latte.
In tho...
one of those big bowls
they serve in like,
French places,
you know what I'm
talkin' about?
Or room service.
I'd love room service right now.
I love the little mini jams
and stuff they give you.
They're so cute.
And the butter's all cold.
Except sometimes the eggs
get sweaty,
'cause they put that
cover on it.
- That... What's that cover called?
- Hmm?
You know, that silver cover
they give you,
like, to cover your food.
Cloche.
Cloche.
Yeah, sweaty eggs are no good.
They need to sort that out.
Just a little bit longer.
- This would be a really good day.
- What?
Not the bloody part,
dipshit,
but like driving out of LA,
going for a night walk,
the fire.
I mean, we're basically
in a fucking
Hershey's commercial right now.
All we need is a guy jamming
on an acoustic guitar,
and a dog wearing a really cool,
like bandana,
and uh, maybe like airstream,
like, one of those vintage ones,
you know,
with the... those lights,
the stringy lights,
the Edisony ones.
Do you know if there's a lake
nearby here,
'cause that'll be perfect.
What are you doing?
Tryin' to make sure
we destroyed it all.
Let's go.
But we just got here.
Wait a sec!
We've had a crazy fucking night,
we should be good by now.
It's like that...
it's like that football team
that landed in the mountains,
they ate their coach
or something.
Like, that shit makes you tight.
Sweet motherfucking Jesus,
please stop talking.
What's your move, Rusty?
What the fuck is this?
A fake Goyard.
Open it.
What's the name
on the driver's license?
- Francis.
- Frank.
Benjamin Newton.
You knew this guy?
- No.
- Did you plan this whole fucking thing?
Please.
How'd you know his name?
Just looks like a Frank.
Stop bullshitting!
I've seen him around.
We weren't friends.
I mean,
he's barely an acquaintance.
I'm just good
at learning names.
The girl who served us
at the store tonight,
her name was um, Iris.
Shut it!
What's in the suitcase?
- My stuff.
- Mm-hmm.
What is in the suitcase?
It's my personal shit,
okay?
Get out of the car.
Ha-ha.
Either you tell me
what's in the suitcase
or you can get out
and I'll open it myself.
You wouldn't understand.
Try me.
Okay.
Be my guest.
Satisfied?
What's it for?
I told you
you wouldn't understand.
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck?
Okay!
Okay, okay!
You win!
I'll show you!
It's a key.
I got that.
For a room.
Uh-huh.
It's a very,
very strange room.
I have never hit a woman
in my entire life.
Not Jenny Mansky
in third grade
when she pants me
on field day.
Not Richa Choudhary,
she kicked me in the nuts
every fucking time we were
sparring partners in boxing.
Not my ex-wife, never.
But you're gonna tell me
what the fuck is going on
or I swear to God.
- It unlocks a room that has a machine in it.
- And?
It can, you know,
like, rewind.
Are you talking about
like, a video store?
That we've been
chasing down the key
to a goddamn blockbuster
this whole time?
You can like,
go back earlier
in the night, like rewind.
You're telling me that you...
You currently possess a key
that opens a room
that houses a machine
that lets you
go back in time?
Yes.
Wow.
So uh, I mean,
you're just
straight up loony tunes.
Fuck off.
Was Frank your boyfriend?
Frank?
No.
Was he the guy
you took the case from?
The one you said hit you?
It's complicated.
Where are we going?
You tell me.
You're gonna show me.
What?
You got a fucking
time machine?
I wanna see that.
- Ancient Rome?
- No.
Belle poque?
I don't know what that is.
Woodstock?
- No.
- So when?
You can only go as far back
as you were born.
Jesus, why the fuck
are we driving so slow?
I'm not capping off the
evening with a speeding ticket.
- We can fix that.
- Uh-huh.
So does it, you know,
affect anything?
You're not gonna come back
with low testosterone,
- if that's what you mean.
- What?
No. Uh,
like reality.
Aren't you supposed to be
careful not to change anything?
I mean,
then what's the point?
Aren't you worried
that you know,
killing Frank or meeting me...
whatever, like totally mess up
the fabric of reality
either yours or everybody's?
Hasn't yet.
How many times
have you done it?
Don't know.
And what do you do?
Play games and stuff.
So just to be clear,
you're saying you can travel
back in time
and yet we just spent an hour
burying a guy in the desert.
It's all part of the
experience, Rusty.
You gotta be careful
I know a guy who got nabbed
for assault
before he could get
to the room.
That is some rookie shit,
I would never do that.
Oh, I almost forgot.
Done and done.
What's a herald angel?
Have we met before?
Hmm?
No, this is a new one.
- And Frank?
- That's the place.
Shit.
Okay, we're almost
at the house,
so just don't fuck this up.
You should just run this red.
We'll gun it straight
to the house.
I can jump us back.
Uh-huh.
It's green, dipshit.
- What are you doing?
- I'll handle it.
Wait till I get out of the car
and then book it.
No.
- Then let me talk.
- Absolutely not.
I'm good with people.
That is not a thing anyone
has said about you ever.
- Good evening.
- Uh, good evening.
Did I do something wrong?
Well, you know,
you got a busted taillight
on the driver's side there.
Oh, really?
Yep.
I'm sorry, officer, uh...
I was helping her move earlier,
so maybe it happened then.
- Where you moving to?
- She's uh,
she's leaving
an abusive relationship.
She file a restraining order?
No, but that's a good idea.
You should consider that.
Fuck off.
Let me see your license
and registration, please.
Sure.
Here you go.
Excuse me.
I'll be right back.
I thought you said
you could handle it.
I was handling it
until you opened your mouth.
Do you know that guy?
I don't know. They all
start to blend together.
Uh-huh.
- Give me your gun.
- No.
- C'mon.
- Absolutely not.
Okay, fine.
Wait.
What are you doing?
Why the fuck
did you have to do that?
You're welcome.
You're welcome?
Calm down, I can fix it.
What?
With your time machine?
Stop whining.
Come on, let's go.
Ah!
Stop it.
Stop!
We done?
Uh-huh.
Now, get in the fucking car
and trust me.
This?
Yeah.
You've got like a murder
dungeon in there.
Please.
And you're near the bait.
Some sicko is gonna make a pair
of chaps out of my leg skin?
Gross.
We only got like 15, 20 minutes
before the cops show up.
And your douche wagon
kinda sticks out around here.
I'm just gonna give you
a little taste.
Year, month, day, time.
And enter.
Charlotte.
Who's asking?
What?
Ah!
Again?
That's for not believing me.
- I mean...
- I know, right?
Uh, I don't even know
how to process this,
I mean, how does it even work?
Fuck if I know.
Come on, let's go.
Couldn't we have jumped
to before you shot him?
Nah,
it was funnier when I got
to kick you in the nuts again.
Do you just jump around
doing shit like this?
Sometimes this,
sometimes other stuff.
One time, we went to Vegas,
and won $800,000
in blackjack.
Another time,
we poked a hole
in every condom
in CVS in Tarzana.
Who's we?
There's a bunch of us
who know about the key.
It's part of the game.
Do all of you do this?
- Do what?
- Kill cops and shit.
Well, you're acting like
it's a permanent thing.
It's not a permanent thing,
we can always go back
and change it.
But you never thought,
"Well, maybe I should
stop 9/11 or something."
Okay, so you're telling me
if you had one chance,
one chance to time travel,
that's the moment you choose?
I don't know when I choose.
See?
You wanna act all high
and mighty,
but you ask anyone one wish.
And you know what
they're not wishing for?
World peace.
Mmm, I love the smell
of the woods.
You still have
that cop's gun?
Yeah.
What the fuck?!
Seems foolish to have evidence
on you like that.
Oh, Rusty.
I don't waste one brain cell
worrying about that shit.
Must be nice.
It is.
Where do you think you're going?
I thought we were going back.
Back where?
Before the cop...
before I killed Frank,
before you killed Frank
a second time, I don't know.
Nah-uh.
What?
You're welcome to stay
here if you like,
but I'm pretty sure the cops
are gonna show up any minute.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
We're fixing all this.
It's been a fun ride, Rusty,
but it's over.
You're pinning
all this on me?
You said I was deviant.
And you were right.
Ah!
Ah!
Oh shit.
Where is it?
Rusty, you motherfucker,
let me in!
You don't deserve it,
it's all garbage.
Everything you do with it
is garbage.
You preachy fuck,
just let me in!
No.
No fucking way.
Okay.
Okay, fine, we go together.
We go back together.
I can take you back
to before we met
and uh, I'll get an Uber
or something,
and you can go back
to your pathetic taxi life!
Russell!
Go! Go, go, go, go, go!
Charlotte!
What? You just do this
driving shit for fun?
I let my partner
buy me out.
- Can I get a black and tan?
- Yeah.
- You mind?
- Not at all.
Waiting for somebody?
Yeah.
Super flaky chick.
Sometimes it's better
if they don't show at all.
Ain't that the truth?
How about you?
Nah.
I'm uh, celebrating alone.
What you celebrating?
This app I invented
is about to go public.
Fuck, man.
- I got that one.
- Yep.
Thanks.
To new beginnings.
New beginnings.
All right,
it's technically the 22nd day
of Christmas.
Santa is gearing up
and so is traffic.
Keep an eye out
for lane closures on the 405
and an overturned semi
on the 110 near Rosemont.
Uh-oh!
We're taking your most embarrassing holiday stories,
so give us a call.
If Debby and the Squid like it,
you might win VIP tickets
to the Rose Bowl pre-show
featuring Patti LaBelle
and Lance Bass.
- Russell.
- Hey, Russ.
How long you been driving
for Jaunt?
Oh, it's been around
eight months.
Oh.
Got a little on the beard.
You could just set it
right there.
I'm gonna put it up
in a little bit.
- You hangin' on that door?
- Yeah.
I thought
it would look festive.
Really festive.
I really appreciate your help.
Don't worry about it.
Merry Christmas.
Thanks.
Charlotte?
Who's asking?
Uh, you called for a Jaunt,
right?
- Russell?
- That's right.
Do you have any water
or lollies or anything?
Okay,
I've got some gum maybe.
How how'd you get a 4.9
without the goodies?
You might not be able to tell
from the back of my head,
but I'm charming
as heck.
We'll see about that.
You're goin' to
Atwater Village?
Yep.
Any route you want me
to take or follow the GPS?
Dealer's choice.
You got it.
Music?
No music.
I have a USB if you wanna
play your own stuff.
- Do people actually do that?
- Play their own stuff?
Yeah.
Not really.
That's too bad.
I feel like it'd be interesting,
you know,
like, hearing all the
embarrassing shit
that comes on shuffle
on people's phones.
Oh yeah.
It'd be like
a sociological experiment.
You should try it.
You wanna be
my first test subject?
Fuck, no.
Can I already tell you
what mine would be?
What's that?
"Yellow" by Coldplay.
Sorry.
How old are you,
if you don't mind me asking?
I don't mind.
What year are we in again?
I'm 22.
And you?
How old do you think I am?
Uh, 5...
You're like, 55.
55?
Hey, the front of your head
is much more charming
than the back of it.
Thanks.
My uncle uses Just For Men.
Good stuff.
- Ugh.
- Highly recommended.
This is going to be
a long ride.
Oh, God,
you're so sensitive!
Are you an actor
or something?
Not even close.
Huh.
Shit. Um, do you think
you could wait for me
outside my next destination
and I'll just run in,
I'll be five minutes,
- I'll come right back out?
- Sure.
Yeah um,
you just need to go in the app,
type in the next destination,
it's on the um...
You can't just like wait
for me like five minutes?
Yeah, yeah, you just...
if you wanna go somewhere else,
you go into the app,
you type the next place in.
I really don't wanna
work that hard.
We cool?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
take as long as you need.
Actually, you know...
I do have a Christmas party,
sort of a...
Like a friend
from my last gig kinda thing,
- it starts around 9:00.
- Mm-hmm.
Nine-ish.
So I don't know where
you need to go tonight,
but I told him that I might...
Cancel?
You took the words
right out of my mouth.
Yeah.
Just tell me where it is.
It's this house right here.
- Okay, so you'll just wait here?
- Yeah.
I'll be in and out.
Perfect.
- Car stays running?
- Yeah.
Okay.
Don't leave.
Go, go, go, go!
Hey man, watch it.
Charlotte!
Who the fuck is this guy?
Charlotte.
Open... Oh!
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no!
Charlotte!
Pedal to the fucking metal!
Oh, you fucking bitch.
Jesus Christ,
are you all right?
Fucking prick.
That guy hit you?
Yeah, he's an arsehole.
- You want me to take you to a police station?
- No.
But I do need a drink.
Thanks.
To world peace.
Okay.
Do you come here a lot?
Here?
No.
Atwater?
Yes.
I uh, used to share
some office space out here
in my previous life.
That's funny.
People usually think
they're like Mozart or Napoleon
in their past life,
but you...
You shared an office space
in Atwater.
No. Not...
Not a past life, jeez,
that would be depressing.
No, my uh, previous life
before driving.
What about you?
Probably Claudette Colbert.
She died the day I was born.
No, do you come
to Atwater a lot?
Sure.
That was my ex's place,
in case you couldn't tell.
Seems like kind of a dick.
Kinda.
So what did you do
in this previous
- Atwater life of yours?
- Hmm?
Oh, um,
tech, you know,
development stuff.
Sounds boring.
You know,
that travel app Far Away?
Yeah.
I developed that.
- Bullshit.
- I did.
Give me my 5 hundy back.
Hell no.
What? You just do this
driving shit for fun?
No.
I uh...
I let my partner buy me out
before they went public.
That explains the sweet ride.
Yeah,
I got that after the buyout.
Probably not the smartest way
to drop 70K.
Hindsight's 20/20
and all that jazz, I guess.
You're still a zygote.
Someday, you'll look back
at that one moment
where you picked the path
of least resistance
and everything
just went to shit.
But I hope I'm wrong.
You know what
they say about uh,
choosing the road
less traveled?
They are probably right.
Anyway, sorry,
you paid for fun.
So what about you?
How'd you wind up out here?
You're from...
- Australia.
- Right.
Actress or something?
Or something.
- Any family out here?
- No.
Going back there
for the holidays?
There isn't really a there
to go back to.
Um, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to...
Don't you get tired
of hearing people talk
about themselves all day?
Well, it's better
than hearing myself prattle on
for eight hours a day,
answering the same
five questions.
"How long have you
been doing this?"
"Do you do other
drive shares?"
Uh, "What's the furthest out
you've had to drive?"
- Where is the furthest out you've had to drive?
- Coachella.
No way.
They make you do that?
Yeah, some people
even had to go to Las Vegas.
Good to know.
Hmm, Shakespeare
or a Marilyn Monroe quote about twinkly stars?
Uh, the only phrase
that can make a happy man sad
and a sad man happy.
You're so worldly, Rusty.
Let's get out of here.
Let me drive.
What?
I had half a beer,
you had two.
Trust me, I'm fine.
See?
Hmm?
Watch.
Sharp as a tack.
Keys.
Do you even have a license?
Yes.
In California?
Give me the keys.
Are you paying me
to drive or to argue?
Get in.
Look,
after 55 years
or whatever you said,
I think I would know
when I'm too drunk to drive.
Two beers
plus a pound of bar mix
does not equal inebriation.
Indigestion, maybe,
but not inebriation.
You're right.
I'm sorry, I just...
I forget that someone
who weighs like 250 pounds
could probably drink
like a six pack
without getting drunk.
2... 200 and fifty... what?
You wear it well.
I mean, like, I'm sure
there's some muscle under there.
Ooh, thanks.
And don't get so defensive
about it.
Thank... thank you so much.
Seriously, though,
what do you weigh?
Like 195?
Thank you very much.
Mm-hmm.
Well, that's... that's actually
quite respectable.
If I give you back 100 bucks,
will you cool it on the digs?
Probably not.
Oh, will you make
a turn over there?
Where are we going now?
I don't know.
Don't you just like driving
at night sometimes?
No.
Oh, look at those
pretty lights.
Fuck, he's still breathin'.
Oh, Jesus Christ,
we gotta call 911.
Hold on.
Just take a deep breath.
Let's just think this through.
He's practically dead.
He's gotta go to a hospital.
Are you stupid?
You take him
to a fucking hospital
and they'll lock you up.
How about we...
we just swing by a hospital
and drop him off?
You know,
the uh, emergency room?
And say it... it... it was
like a... a hit-and-run
that we witnessed.
I mean I...
I don't know.
W... we...
we can't just leave him here.
Is everything all right?
I'm sorry,
my boyfriend's shitfaced
and he's acting like a dick.
Frank, honey, get up.
I thought I heard a bang
out here or something.
Oh, jeez, I'm sorry.
Uh, he jumped out of the car
while we were driving.
He's not normally like this.
He looks pretty bad.
Yeah, he got fired from work
this afternoon
and it's just been really shit.
Honey.
Frank, get up.
Frank, you're making a scene.
Get up.
Help me.
Let's put him in the backseat.
He all right?
Yeah, he's just really worried
with Christmas coming up,
and it's gonna be really hard
for him to find a job
until the new year,
and... and his sister
just had another miscarriage.
Oh, hey, no, no.
I... I... I understand,
it... yeah, it's...
It's rough out there.
Merry Christmas!
Fuck, I can only get
like one bar out here.
Just look up
a fucking hospital!
There's one in Glendale.
It's only got 2.5 stars.
It doesn't matter
how many stars it has!
Where is it?
- Central Avenue.
- Fine.
Here.
Put that away.
I can't keep it.
I still expect you
to finish the job.
No.
We drop him off
and then I drop you off.
- I don't think so, Rusty.
- I don't care what you think.
You should.
I am the sole witness
to a pretty bad crime.
It was an accident.
Yeah, but moving him,
putting him into your car...
All your idea.
I was just tryin'
to help you.
Help me or help you?
I just think it's best
we don't involve the cops.
We're still dropping him off.
Like you said,
it was an accident.
I mean,
look at Inspector Gadget.
He literally hit someone
and he is sweet.
What?
You know,
the Inspector Gadget guy?
Matthew Broderick?
Yeah.
Oh, Christ.
Oh, jeez.
It's okay, man!
You're okay!
We're on our way
to a hospital.
Help him!
With what?
Dude,
what the fuck just happened?
Yeah, I think he...
he might be dead.
He's dead.
Oh, my God!
Well, at least, you don't
have to go to the hospital now.
Dude, wake up.
Come on, man.
Wake up.
Wake up!
Oh, Jesus Christ.
This isn't happening.
This is some crazy
fuckin' nightmare
and all of a sudden
I'm gonna be in a Ferris wheel
with my eighth grade
math teacher or something
any minute now.
Did you check his pocket
for goodies?
Don't touch him!
Ow!
It's not like he cares.
What?
You're acting
like this is no big deal,
which is really fucking
with my mind right now.
Aren't you guilty
or worried or I... I...
I don't know, freaked out,
nauseated, something?
I don't know.
Do you have some
kinda record?
Is that why you didn't want me
to call the cops?
You're tryin' to cover
your own ass?
I don't need this.
- What?
- I wanna get out of the car.
- Are you insane?
- I wanna get out.
W... wait, wait.
You're j... you're just
gonna stick me with this guy?
I wanted to leave him there,
and call the cops,
and you're just gonna stick me
with the fuckin' dead guy?
Well, are we in this together
or not?
Because I feel
like I've been pretty cool
throughout this whole situation.
Seriously?
I don't need this.
Pull over.
All right,
we're in this together.
We're in this together.
Just get back in the car.
No.
- Where are you gonna go?
- I'll just get another ride.
Get in the car, please.
Please.
No.
Look,
I'll give you your money back.
I need you.
You're resourceful and kinda...
- Deviant.
- Thank you.
Plus that guy is really hard
to carry by myself.
Put the money away, Rusty,
it's tacky.
- Can I drive?
- No.
You sure they're still open?
Yelp says they close
at 10:00.
All right,
we got 12 minutes.
Well, you parked
so bloody far away.
Why'd you have to do that?
It's gonna take us fuckin'
10 minutes to walk there.
You sure he's okay here?
What's he gonna do?
He's dead.
Do we cover him up?
It's dark.
What if somebody comes by?
- Like who?
- I don't know.
I don't know like, vagrants
or maybe cops on patrol?
- Well, do you wanna stay here while I go in?
- No.
Okay. Um...
- Should I stay here, keep watch and you go in?
- No.
Good evening.
Just stick with the plan
and quit acting suspicious.
I'm sorry,
I didn't realize "good evening"
was an admission of guilt.
Just get your shit
and meet me back
at the register.
Good evening.
Hey.
Ah, those look nice.
Your mom's really
gonna like that purple one,
it goes with her um...
What do you call them?
Things they hang up
on the wall?
A dreamcatcher?
No.
No, it's uh,
it's what makes the noise.
Uh, you know what I mean?
You know, it uh, yeah,
the wind...
wind goes through it
and then... chimes!
Wind chimes.
It'll match her purple
wind chimes.
She loves her wind chimes.
She loves them.
Doing some pruning.
You know, mom thinks
it's very important
we cut the tips of the plants,
so they don't get overgrown.
She knows.
Actually, I work in plumbing.
Cool.
- Darling?
- Hmm?
Are we not supposed
to get a saw or an axe
or something like that?
I changed my mind.
Mom's gonna be pissed.
Well, she'll just
have to get over it.
Those are actually buy one,
get one 50% off.
Oh, then we don't
have to share.
You want a bag?
I'll hold these.
It's $84.31.
- You folks need any help out to your car?
- No.
No, thank you.
Come on, hurry up.
Why do I feel like
you've done this before?
This is so fucked.
What are even gonna do
when we get there?
Get our shit.
Oh, yes, of course.
Uh, "Excuse me,
sir or ma'am,
uh, we'd like to get
our shit back.
Don't worry,
you can keep the body."
I wasn't planning on asking.
What, you're just gonna
hit him over the head
with your hammer?
Don't you want your car back?
Probably not.
It's probably better this way.
I report the car stolen,
some asshole has it,
they killed the dude,
no harm, no foul.
"I don't know, officer,
we just got carjacked."
- No.
- This is perfect.
This is our perfect out.
What are you doing?
Getting our shit back.
Oh, God!
Look, I'll buy you new jewelry
or whatever it is
you've got in there, just...
This isn't worth it.
Real nice, arsehole!
Okay, okay,
let's just stick with the one
vehicular manslaughter
for today.
Where's the fucking body?
I don't know. This whole thing
has been really fuckin' crazy.
Look, I know, I know,
I know, okay?
But I need to get
that suitcase back.
We're still talking about
the goddamn suitcase.
I told you,
it's not worth it!
The body is gone.
The suitcase is a really
distant second
to the missing body!
- Okay, you wait here.
- What?
You wait here,
I'll run inside.
If I'm not back in five minutes,
just take the car and scram.
Oh, you're just gonna
knock on the door
and beat the guy
with the hammer?
No, I'm gonna break in,
then I'm gonna beat the guy
with the hammer.
Okay,
Jesus Christ,
I hope you're still there.
What?
I got mugged two months ago.
You've had that
the whole time.
I'm sorry, you're right.
I guess it would have been handy
when that guy flipped you off
or maybe we could have
just held up the hardware store
instead of paying for those
goddamn plants and shit.
Do you even know
how to use that?
If you want,
I can wait here
and you can just go inside
with that hammer.
I fucking hate you.
Where is it?
I will give you 10 seconds
to get out.
- Russell!
- Let her go.
You are in way over your head,
man.
Shut up.
The suitcase?
All right?
Grab it and let's go.
What do you wanna do
with him?
Nothing.
Let's go.
2SBI653?
Excuse me?
It's your license plate
number, right?
Yeah.
Let's go.
Look, you want money
or something?
A fuckin' ride to the ER?
I don't know.
Can't we work
something out here?
Have you lost your mind?
He knows
my license plate number.
He's gonna call
the fucking cops!
- Bingo.
- Bull shit.
The fuck are you listening
to this bitch for?
Leave the case.
It's like none of this
ever happened.
Fuck no.
- Leave it.
- Nope.
I'm not goin' to jail
over your goddamn suitcase,
leave it!
Nope.
Charlotte, we're going.
You really think
I'm gonna let you
fuck this up for me again?
Shit.
Now, we really gotta bury him.
What do you think,
like some sheets
or something to wrap him up in?
Or maybe a shower curtain liner,
you know, less dripping.
I'm sorry, what?
Russell,
we need to get him out of here.
What difference does it make?
Uh, you...
you hit him with the car.
I shot him, he was dead,
then he wasn't, now he is.
Oh.
Oh, God.
I don't... I don't think
I have the stomach for this.
It was an accident?
Accidents happen.
But this...
Wha...
What the fuck
is wrong with you?
You wait here,
I'll go find something
to wrap him in.
Maybe you can find a ginger ale
in the fridge or something
to settle that weak-ass
stomach of yours.
But in 10 minutes,
I'm gonna be back
and you're gonna help me carry him out.
Understood?
Okay.
Great.
Look what I found.
It's raining cats and dogs.
Weird choice,
but I kinda like it.
No?
Let's wrap him up.
You got any troubles?
Yeah.
Good, let's go.
- What?
- Nothing, hold on.
- What's so funny?
- Sorry, what?
You... never mind.
Don't you think this song
is kinda dark?
Like, isn't it a bad thing
if babies don't cry?
Couldn't they turn out to be
down syndrome or something?
I think it's just implying
that He was a really good baby.
Hmm.
Top five
favorite Christmas songs.
Um, uh, I would say,
number one,
"All I Want for Christmas Is
You", Mariah Carey, obviously.
- Two, "Frosty the Snowman" by Michael Bubl.
- What?
Um, three,
"Christmas in Harlem"
by Kanye West.
That's a good one.
Um, hmm.
What's that rockin' song
in Home Alone
where Kevin's tryin'
to scare away the robbers,
and he puts the mannequin
on the turntable,
and then he has
that cardboard cut-out
of um, uh, Michael Jackson.
It's Michael Jordan.
Yeah,
those are probably my favorite
and I can't think
of another one,
so I probably only have
a top four.
What are yours?
Yeah, yeah, those are good.
You don't like them?
Uh, the Mariah Carey one
is nice.
Oh come on, get into it!
Okay, I... I was...
I was always partial
to "The Little Drummer Boy" duet
between Bowie and Bing Crosby.
Fuck, how can you listen
to Bing Crosby?
You know,
he raped like 50 million women.
No, not Bill Cosby.
Bing Crosby.
What's the matter with you?
There's a lot
to keep track of.
I guess.
You don't know.
Well, how far
are you making me drive?
Why? Are you still planning
on tryin' to make that party?
Well, we might need
to stop for gas soon.
Well, I really enjoyed
your sob story earlier.
You know,
about your life turning to shit,
and your girlfriend leaving you,
all that stuff.
But somehow
you had a really cool friend
throwing a Christmas party
that you ditched
to hang out with me.
That guy wouldn't bail me out.
And what about you
and this hilarious texter?
You're sitting there,
yuckin' it up,
but before you're acting
like your whole family died
in a house fire
and you're the only one
- that made it out alive.
- Shut the fuck up!
What mumsy and dadsy
cut off your Amex Black
and you're practically or...
Ow, Jesus!
You don't talk
about my family.
Alright.
Christ.
I'm sorry.
- Do you wanna talk about...
- No.
Okay.
Well, what I said
before was true.
I don't have...
Look, Rusty,
I'm sure you've made some
very shitty decisions
in your life and yeah,
- your girlfriend left you.
- Wife.
Whatever, okay?
I don't care
and I'm not interested.
- I was just tryin' to make...
- Well, don't.
Because our shit is different.
You got that right.
12 miles that way.
Oh, bury a lot of bodies
out in Winchester?
Nah, just this one.
Grab the feet.
There's no one around here.
Hello?
See?
Go get the shovels.
What now?
We've gotta get rid
of his fingers and teeth.
Yeah.
No, I'll dig the hole.
You do whatever it is
you're gonna do with those.
You sure?
Absolute-fucking-lutely.
Suit yourself.
You know,
if they find him,
they can probably identify him
using his DNA.
Yeah,
but why make it easy for them?
Poor, stupid,
presumptuous Frank.
Frank?
Yeah, my drunk boyfriend,
remember we told that guy.
Remember?
Sure.
So I guess
I just take the hammer.
Oh, they're all
going inside his mouth, gross.
You done?
Yeah.
I'm gonna just have to
pick them out of his mouth.
Gross.
I'm glad this is so hilarious.
Well, if I don't laugh,
I'll cry.
You don't cry.
Okay, well, if I don't laugh,
I'll throw up.
Fair enough.
Did your parents ever do
that This Little Piggy thing?
Sure.
This little piggy
went to the market,
this little piggy went...
- Home.
- Yeah, I got it.
This little piggy
went wee, wee, wee
all the way home.
You all done?
Mm,
I got five little piggies left.
Think you can do
without the commentary?
Rusty doesn't want
the commentary, Frank.
Stop callin' him "Frank".
Frankly,
I don't give a franking Frank.
Just...
stop humanizing him.
I'm sure this is like a typical
Saturday night for you,
but I'm just trying
to get through this
without projectile vomiting,
okay?
Just...
finish the thing with the hand
and cover him up.
Jesus Christ!
This little piggy
went to the market,
this little piggy went home.
This little piggy went
all the way wee, wee,
wee, wee home.
Done.
Maybe we shouldn't wrap him up
in plastic,
it might fuck up the decaying.
You're probably right.
You know,
every bit of plastic
that's ever been made
is still around.
- Bullshit.
- It's true.
What about if you burn it?
Are you done or what?
- It'll go faster if you help.
- I already did my bit.
Fine.
Help me out, Rusty?
You look like
you've done this before.
Really?
I did a little landscaping
in college.
There used to be
this office park.
- I had to sit on the lawn mower.
- Let's get him in.
Let's cover him up.
Hey, what do you wanna do
about those?
Burn 'em.
What?
I thought you said
you can't destroy plastic.
That doesn't sound right.
Do you have a lighter?
No.
Hey,
you can't just burn that here.
Why?
Because there's...
there's brush everywhere.
We should have got like acid
or something.
- Acid?
- Yeah, you know...
Follow me.
I would fucking kill
for a cigarette right now.
Or a vape.
A vape would be good.
You know, they have
French-toast-flavored vape.
Now, I feel like French toast.
French toast with bacon,
and strawberries,
and caramelized banana.
And like a side of fruit,
but not cheap, good fruit,
like with mango,
and blueberries,
and kiwi fruit,
and passion fruit,
and a latte.
In tho...
one of those big bowls
they serve in like,
French places,
you know what I'm
talkin' about?
Or room service.
I'd love room service right now.
I love the little mini jams
and stuff they give you.
They're so cute.
And the butter's all cold.
Except sometimes the eggs
get sweaty,
'cause they put that
cover on it.
- That... What's that cover called?
- Hmm?
You know, that silver cover
they give you,
like, to cover your food.
Cloche.
Cloche.
Yeah, sweaty eggs are no good.
They need to sort that out.
Just a little bit longer.
- This would be a really good day.
- What?
Not the bloody part,
dipshit,
but like driving out of LA,
going for a night walk,
the fire.
I mean, we're basically
in a fucking
Hershey's commercial right now.
All we need is a guy jamming
on an acoustic guitar,
and a dog wearing a really cool,
like bandana,
and uh, maybe like airstream,
like, one of those vintage ones,
you know,
with the... those lights,
the stringy lights,
the Edisony ones.
Do you know if there's a lake
nearby here,
'cause that'll be perfect.
What are you doing?
Tryin' to make sure
we destroyed it all.
Let's go.
But we just got here.
Wait a sec!
We've had a crazy fucking night,
we should be good by now.
It's like that...
it's like that football team
that landed in the mountains,
they ate their coach
or something.
Like, that shit makes you tight.
Sweet motherfucking Jesus,
please stop talking.
What's your move, Rusty?
What the fuck is this?
A fake Goyard.
Open it.
What's the name
on the driver's license?
- Francis.
- Frank.
Benjamin Newton.
You knew this guy?
- No.
- Did you plan this whole fucking thing?
Please.
How'd you know his name?
Just looks like a Frank.
Stop bullshitting!
I've seen him around.
We weren't friends.
I mean,
he's barely an acquaintance.
I'm just good
at learning names.
The girl who served us
at the store tonight,
her name was um, Iris.
Shut it!
What's in the suitcase?
- My stuff.
- Mm-hmm.
What is in the suitcase?
It's my personal shit,
okay?
Get out of the car.
Ha-ha.
Either you tell me
what's in the suitcase
or you can get out
and I'll open it myself.
You wouldn't understand.
Try me.
Okay.
Be my guest.
Satisfied?
What's it for?
I told you
you wouldn't understand.
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck?
Okay!
Okay, okay!
You win!
I'll show you!
It's a key.
I got that.
For a room.
Uh-huh.
It's a very,
very strange room.
I have never hit a woman
in my entire life.
Not Jenny Mansky
in third grade
when she pants me
on field day.
Not Richa Choudhary,
she kicked me in the nuts
every fucking time we were
sparring partners in boxing.
Not my ex-wife, never.
But you're gonna tell me
what the fuck is going on
or I swear to God.
- It unlocks a room that has a machine in it.
- And?
It can, you know,
like, rewind.
Are you talking about
like, a video store?
That we've been
chasing down the key
to a goddamn blockbuster
this whole time?
You can like,
go back earlier
in the night, like rewind.
You're telling me that you...
You currently possess a key
that opens a room
that houses a machine
that lets you
go back in time?
Yes.
Wow.
So uh, I mean,
you're just
straight up loony tunes.
Fuck off.
Was Frank your boyfriend?
Frank?
No.
Was he the guy
you took the case from?
The one you said hit you?
It's complicated.
Where are we going?
You tell me.
You're gonna show me.
What?
You got a fucking
time machine?
I wanna see that.
- Ancient Rome?
- No.
Belle poque?
I don't know what that is.
Woodstock?
- No.
- So when?
You can only go as far back
as you were born.
Jesus, why the fuck
are we driving so slow?
I'm not capping off the
evening with a speeding ticket.
- We can fix that.
- Uh-huh.
So does it, you know,
affect anything?
You're not gonna come back
with low testosterone,
- if that's what you mean.
- What?
No. Uh,
like reality.
Aren't you supposed to be
careful not to change anything?
I mean,
then what's the point?
Aren't you worried
that you know,
killing Frank or meeting me...
whatever, like totally mess up
the fabric of reality
either yours or everybody's?
Hasn't yet.
How many times
have you done it?
Don't know.
And what do you do?
Play games and stuff.
So just to be clear,
you're saying you can travel
back in time
and yet we just spent an hour
burying a guy in the desert.
It's all part of the
experience, Rusty.
You gotta be careful
I know a guy who got nabbed
for assault
before he could get
to the room.
That is some rookie shit,
I would never do that.
Oh, I almost forgot.
Done and done.
What's a herald angel?
Have we met before?
Hmm?
No, this is a new one.
- And Frank?
- That's the place.
Shit.
Okay, we're almost
at the house,
so just don't fuck this up.
You should just run this red.
We'll gun it straight
to the house.
I can jump us back.
Uh-huh.
It's green, dipshit.
- What are you doing?
- I'll handle it.
Wait till I get out of the car
and then book it.
No.
- Then let me talk.
- Absolutely not.
I'm good with people.
That is not a thing anyone
has said about you ever.
- Good evening.
- Uh, good evening.
Did I do something wrong?
Well, you know,
you got a busted taillight
on the driver's side there.
Oh, really?
Yep.
I'm sorry, officer, uh...
I was helping her move earlier,
so maybe it happened then.
- Where you moving to?
- She's uh,
she's leaving
an abusive relationship.
She file a restraining order?
No, but that's a good idea.
You should consider that.
Fuck off.
Let me see your license
and registration, please.
Sure.
Here you go.
Excuse me.
I'll be right back.
I thought you said
you could handle it.
I was handling it
until you opened your mouth.
Do you know that guy?
I don't know. They all
start to blend together.
Uh-huh.
- Give me your gun.
- No.
- C'mon.
- Absolutely not.
Okay, fine.
Wait.
What are you doing?
Why the fuck
did you have to do that?
You're welcome.
You're welcome?
Calm down, I can fix it.
What?
With your time machine?
Stop whining.
Come on, let's go.
Ah!
Stop it.
Stop!
We done?
Uh-huh.
Now, get in the fucking car
and trust me.
This?
Yeah.
You've got like a murder
dungeon in there.
Please.
And you're near the bait.
Some sicko is gonna make a pair
of chaps out of my leg skin?
Gross.
We only got like 15, 20 minutes
before the cops show up.
And your douche wagon
kinda sticks out around here.
I'm just gonna give you
a little taste.
Year, month, day, time.
And enter.
Charlotte.
Who's asking?
What?
Ah!
Again?
That's for not believing me.
- I mean...
- I know, right?
Uh, I don't even know
how to process this,
I mean, how does it even work?
Fuck if I know.
Come on, let's go.
Couldn't we have jumped
to before you shot him?
Nah,
it was funnier when I got
to kick you in the nuts again.
Do you just jump around
doing shit like this?
Sometimes this,
sometimes other stuff.
One time, we went to Vegas,
and won $800,000
in blackjack.
Another time,
we poked a hole
in every condom
in CVS in Tarzana.
Who's we?
There's a bunch of us
who know about the key.
It's part of the game.
Do all of you do this?
- Do what?
- Kill cops and shit.
Well, you're acting like
it's a permanent thing.
It's not a permanent thing,
we can always go back
and change it.
But you never thought,
"Well, maybe I should
stop 9/11 or something."
Okay, so you're telling me
if you had one chance,
one chance to time travel,
that's the moment you choose?
I don't know when I choose.
See?
You wanna act all high
and mighty,
but you ask anyone one wish.
And you know what
they're not wishing for?
World peace.
Mmm, I love the smell
of the woods.
You still have
that cop's gun?
Yeah.
What the fuck?!
Seems foolish to have evidence
on you like that.
Oh, Rusty.
I don't waste one brain cell
worrying about that shit.
Must be nice.
It is.
Where do you think you're going?
I thought we were going back.
Back where?
Before the cop...
before I killed Frank,
before you killed Frank
a second time, I don't know.
Nah-uh.
What?
You're welcome to stay
here if you like,
but I'm pretty sure the cops
are gonna show up any minute.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
We're fixing all this.
It's been a fun ride, Rusty,
but it's over.
You're pinning
all this on me?
You said I was deviant.
And you were right.
Ah!
Ah!
Oh shit.
Where is it?
Rusty, you motherfucker,
let me in!
You don't deserve it,
it's all garbage.
Everything you do with it
is garbage.
You preachy fuck,
just let me in!
No.
No fucking way.
Okay.
Okay, fine, we go together.
We go back together.
I can take you back
to before we met
and uh, I'll get an Uber
or something,
and you can go back
to your pathetic taxi life!
Russell!
Go! Go, go, go, go, go!
Charlotte!
What? You just do this
driving shit for fun?
I let my partner
buy me out.
- Can I get a black and tan?
- Yeah.
- You mind?
- Not at all.
Waiting for somebody?
Yeah.
Super flaky chick.
Sometimes it's better
if they don't show at all.
Ain't that the truth?
How about you?
Nah.
I'm uh, celebrating alone.
What you celebrating?
This app I invented
is about to go public.
Fuck, man.
- I got that one.
- Yep.
Thanks.
To new beginnings.
New beginnings.