Nimrods (2025) Movie Script

1
("Longview" by Green Day playing)
(indistinct chatter)
I sit around and watch
the tube, but nothing's on
I change the channels
for an hour or two
Twiddle my thumbs
just for a bit
I'm sick of all
the same old shit
In a house with
unlocked doors
-And I'm fucking lazy
-(bell ringing)
Bite my lip
and close my eyes
Take me away to paradise
I'm so damn bored,
I'm going blind
And I smell like shit
a-squared.
The square root
of a-squared is "a."
So if that number was three
or nine...
Peel me off this Velcro seat
And get me moving
I sure as hell
can't do it by myself
I'm feeling
like a dog in heat
Barred indoors
from the summer street
I locked the door
to my own cell
And I lost the key
Bite my lip
and close my eyes
Take me away to paradise
I'm so damn bored,
I'm going blind
And I smell like shit
OFFICER:
Hey!
I got no motivation
You got a pass?
-Where is my motivation?
-Tommy. Tommy!
-No time for the motivation
-Hey.
FRED:
Oh, fuck. (laughing)
Smoking my inspiration...
FRED:
Hey, merry Christmas!
-TOMMY: Merry Christmas.
-(Fred groaning)
-(officer grunting)
-Hey, man.
OFFICER:
Tommy!
-Moron! You guys got a pass?
-Ah, it's Paul Blart.
-(officer jabbering)
-I think he's getting faster.
FRED:
Dude, I figured out
how we're gonna sneak into
the Green Day concert.
TOMMY:
Uh, how?
We're gonna carry in ladders.
Oh, so they think we work there.
Yeah.
That's actually smart, but...
Wait, no, I don't think people
are that dumb anymore.
-Yeah, they are.
-You think?
Well, then we'll get the, um,
the buffer thing
that janitors use.
The little, like, mini Zamboni.
WAYNE:
Come on, Santa. What the fuck?
Dude, check out Wayne
getting off with Santa.
FRED:
Hey, is that consensual?
WAYNE: Tommy, Mom said
you got to help me with this shit.
-Come up here.
-TOMMY: Dude, you're doing fine without me.
Hey, why is there a cab
in your driveway?
-WAYNE: Shit.
-Oh, get this.
He got it for an Uber business.
-Fuck!
-(Tommy and Fred laughing)
-WAYNE: Goddamn it!
-Hey, uh, Wayne.
How would you sneak
into a Green Day concert?
How?
Blow a roadie.
That works?
Tommy, come on, man.
Get the fuck up here.
Goddamn it. You got to
help me with this shit.
TOMMY:
All right. I'll help you.
-What the fuck!
-(laughter)
Does that help?
Put the ladder back up, asshole.
You're gonna regret this, Tommy!
-JODI: No.
-WAYNE: Put that ladder back up right now!
JODI: There's no reason why
he would've been excused early.
No. Oh, he just walked in.
(whispering):
Tommy, what the hell?
-Who is it?
-Yeah, mystery solved.
Principal Steele. You can't
just walk out of school.
-Let me talk to him.
-No. What...
Give me the phone.
Get out of here.
What? No, sir. Yeah, no, I am.
I'm gonna have a chat with him.
And you have
a very merry Christmas.
Okay, bye.
Oh, that guy's a creep.
I can't have him calling me.
You got to stay in school.
We just don't fit in
over there, Mom.
You don't fit in over there?
It's-it's school.
It's-it's not about...
Okay, you know what?
I can't have this conversation
right now.
Dinner's in the fridge.
Oh, I see you found the pie.
That's great.
Fred, if you're gonna
stay here again,
do not masturbate in my bathroom.
-(Tommy laughing)
-FRED: It was one time.
And, Tommy, make yourself useful.
Go help your brother on the roof.
We already tried.
He wouldn't let us.
Jodi, have you ever
snuck into a concert?
JODI:
Uh, yeah.
Actually, that's a,
that's a really fun memory.
-How'd you do it?
-Um...
We... You know what? I'm rushing.
Oh, you blew a roadie.
What? No.
-(laughing)
-We put on reflective vests
and we pretended
like we were picking up trash.
Oh.
Blew a roadie?
-That's what Wayne said.
-Have you seen a roadie?
That's what Wayne said.
Use a fork.
All brawn
and no brains, yeah
And all those
nice things, yeah
You finally got
what you want
Someone to look good with
and light your cigarette
Is this what
you really want?
I figured out
what you're all about
And I don't think
I like what I see
So I hope I won't be there in
the end when you come around

How long will he last before
he's a creep in the past
And you're alone once again?
Will you pop up again
and be my special friend
Till the end,
and when will that be?
I figured out
what you're all about
And I don't think
I like what I see
So I hope I won't be there
In the end
when you come around
Around, around
Around, around, around
Around, around...
-(music fading)
-(Tommy grunts)
WAYNE:
Oh, my God. Is that Santa?
Oh, no, it's just my delinquent
little brother.
Fuck, Wayne. Okay, look, I'm...
I'm not in the mood right now.
Please just go.
It's Christmas, dipshit.
Go out there. You know
how Mom gets on Christmas.
-You go out there.
-I can't.
-I got to drive a lady to Topeka.
-(groans)
Do you want Mom to be alone?
Come on. Go.
I am!
She needs you.
-Fucking get up.
-Okay, I am, I am.
(sighs)
TOMMY:
Oh, no way.
-Was this Dad's?
-Yeah.
I found a box in the basement.
Oh, my God,
we can record our demos.
There's a bunch of his old
mix tapes in there, too.
Oh, shut up.
(chuckles)
All right, I also found this.
Belonged to your dad.

Oh, my God.
You look just like him.
(sniffles)
Should I open mine?
-Hmm?
-Should I open mine?
Uh, y-yeah, yeah, um...
There.
Oh.
Oven mitts.
(chuckling): Wow, well,
that's a nice surprise.
-I agree.
-(laughs): Aw.
Come here.
-Thank you, sweetie.
-(pats back)
Aw. (sighs)
Uh, you want some egg casserole?
Uh, sure.
-I can use my new oven mitts.
-(chuckles)
Uh, hey, Mom, do you remember,
uh, that Christmas
where you and Dad were, uh,
arguing about money?
We always argued about money.
Yeah, but this is when
he bought that
purple expensive bike.
My God.
Tommy, you remember that?
You were, like, five.
I remember the song he put on.
What? What song?
The warmth of your love's
like the warmth of the sun
And this will be our year
Took a long time to come
Don't let go of my hand
Now darkness has gone
This will be our year
Took a long time to come
And I won't forget
the way you helped me up
When I was down
And I won't forget
the way you said
"Darling, I love you,
you gave me faith to go on"
(fading): Now we're there
and we've only just begun...
-(playing "Longview")
-(pounding on door)
Hi, guys.
-FRED: 15 minutes early?
-TOMMY: Leave him out there.
Guys, it's me. It's Chad.
Guys, please. I will get Jodi.
Let him in.
Dude, why does he always
bring your mom into this?
A fucking narc.
See, Chad, killing me.
-What's up, Chadsky?
-Thank God.
Okay, Chad,
we've talked about this.
Okay, if you want to be
a punk rock drummer,
you got to be late,
you know, fuck shit up.
You're too reliable.
Why the fuck are you wearing
a Christmas sweater?
-Untuck your shirt, man.
-Yeah.
My mom got this for me.
Hey, remember, break every rule
you've ever been taught.
-Cool?
-Okay.
All right, did you bring
that old camcorder?
It's right here. Are you sure
you want it, though?
I mean, this thing shoots
really grainy-ass video.
Yeah, it's analog.
What the hell is this?
Dude, it's his dad's old 4-track
so we can make a demo.
On that?
I don't... Why don't we just,
like, record our demo
on a computer
like normal musicians?
Because it's analog
and we're the Analog Dogs.
It's, like, our thing.
Okay, well, by that logic,
we should also be dogs.
Woof?
Tommy, he's hurting
my head again.
-Please tune your drums.
-Okay. I'm sorry, guys.
Oh, guess what I got
for Christmas.
TOMMY:
What?
I got tickets to Green Day.
-What?
-Yeah.
-Shut the fuck up.
-No, I'm serious.
I got three tickets,
and my parents were like,
"You know, you can bring
whoever you want."
So I was like, "Who really
wants to see Green Day?"
-(laughing excitedly)
-Ah, Chadsky!
No way. Are you fucking serious?
My parents.
Isn't that cool?
Of all people, my parents want
to see Green Day with me.
You're a dick.
Oh, you thought I meant you guys.
Are you fucking serious?
We've never seen them.
Well, neither have my parents,
and I don't want
to let them down.
Man, let them down.
Okay, that's punk rock. Take us.
Guys, it's not a big deal.
You can, like, go meet them
if you want.
Why the fuck do we want
to meet your par...?
I know your parents.
No, Green Day.
They just announced an in-store
at the record store.
Noon tomorrow.
(drum beats twice)
Merry Christmas, guys.
Dude, we can give them
our demo, Tommy.
(drums play rock beat)
(guitar and bass join in)
Bored at school
and I'm bored at home
When I get to my room,
I wanna kick in the door
But I'm sleeping all day,
and it hurts my eyes
Just to stare at my guitar
while I play in my mind
An early night
Gone as I bat an eye
It's all right
Stuck here behind the door
And I can't stop feeling,
I can't stop feeling alone.

(music fades)
("When I Come Around" by
Green Day playing over speakers)
This blows.
We should've got here earlier.
-MANAGER: Attention, everyone!
-What happened?
I'm really sorry to do this,
but we've run out of time!
So, everyone from here back,
I'm sorry, but you're not gonna
get to meet Green Day.
I'm really sorry.
Wait. I-I-I'm sorry.
Like, like here back
or-or there back?
No, no, yeah.
Here back.
I'm sorry,
but you all have to leave.
Are you fucking kidding me?
(upset crowd chatter)
Dude, where are we going?
MAN: Hey, asshole,
get to the back of the line!
-TOMMY: Excuse me. Excuse me.
-MAN 2: Fuck these guys.
WOMAN:
Are you kidding me?
-Excuse me. Sorry.
-WOMAN: Not cool, dip shits.
The manager out there asked us
to come to the front
-of the line, so...
-Why?
Uh, we got to give Green Day
our demo.
But we've been waiting
to meet them since 7:00 a.m.
Okay, listen, lady,
you'll still meet them,
just four seconds later
than you would have.
"Lady"? I'm, like, your age.
Don't you guys go to Hamilton?
Yeah, yeah. We used to. Quit.
Yeah, we're going on tour.
Europe. It's a country.
Oh, wait, I remember you guys.
Your band got booed off stage
at the talent show, right?
Oh, that's right.
Uh, yeah, we actually
take pride in that moment.
-Who's next?
-Uh, we are.
BOY:
Wait. W-W-Wait, they cut.
("Walking Contradiction"
by Green Day playing)
Do as I say, not as I do
Because the shit's so deep,
you can't run away
I beg to differ
on the contrary, agree with
(slows, distorts):
Every word that you say...
("When I Come Around"
continues playing)
-FRED: Hi.
-What's up?
TOMMY: Oh, yeah, we
just wanted to give you this.
Um, that-that's our-our demo.
-It's a dem... Hmm.
-FRED: Yeah, yeah.
-Um...
-It's... it's just one song.
Yeah, but it's a good song.
Yeah, we got more songs,
too, but...
"Anal OG Dogs"?
No, it's, uh, it's Analog Dogs.
-Hey, is that your phone number on there?
-TOMMY: Yeah.
Not assuming you're gonna
like the song, but you might.
-Yeah.
-(phone ringing)
BILLIE JOE:
I might, I might.
Hey, answer your phone.
-(ringing continues)
-Uh...
Hello?
Is this the Anal Dogs?
(laughing)
That's fucking so funny.
(laughing nervously)
BILLIE JOE:
Ooh, time's up.
Keep playing shows,
anywhere and everywhere.
-Yeah. -Of course.
-All right.
("When I Come Around" ends)
I can't let you hide
those here, Keith.
I promised my mom
no more drugs in the house.
What? Mushrooms aren't
drugs, man. They're food.
Fucking hide them
at your place, then.
I can't. My dog will eat them.
Wayne! Keith!
Yo! Yee! (yodels happily)
WAYNE: Keith, it's
your favorite boy band,
Analog Dicks.
Dude, we just met Green Day.
-Bullshit.
-Dude, Tr Cool called his phone.
Look.
It says "no caller I.D.,"
dumb-ass.
Yeah, but it-it's Tr.
Fucking liars.
(overlapping shouting)
Oh, yeah,
I can't hear you, prick.
Fuck you, Wayne.
What the fuck?
You just dented my office.
(overlapping arguing)
JODI:
Hey. Hey, hey! Cut it out!
Someone come help me
with this tree.
-FRED: Hi, Jodi.
-TOMMY: Hi, Mom.
-We just met Green Day.
-Yeah, uh, we gave them
that demo that we recorded
with that 4-track.
-JODI: Aw.
-I love your makeup today, Jodi.
-JODI: Okay, Keith.
-Nice touch.
FRED: Oh, we put
Tommy's phone number on it.
JODI:
Aw, I'm so happy for you guys.
FRED: Yeah, we, uh, put
Tommy's name on the demo, too.
Dude. Check this out.
It's time to pay the fiddler.
Yeah.
What fiddler?
The fiddler on the roof.
They-they left me on the roof.
(chuckling):
Oh. Yeah, okay.
Wait, you play the fiddle?
Come on, man.
They pranked me,
they left me on the roof,
so now we got to get them back
with the ultimate prank.
We're gonna tell them
they're opening up
for Green Day
on New Year's fucking Eve.
("Dilemma" by Green Day playing)
(laughing)
Pay up, son!
TOMMY: Hey, remember,
we're here to pick up trash.
-(Fred jabbering)
-No, act natural.
Act like we're supposed
to be here.
I am supposed to be here.
-Then act like it.
-I am.
-Wait, what are we doing?
-My mom told us this is
how it's gonna go...
we just walk in...
-Into the venue?
-Trash boys, and we're in.
-Easy, easy.
-Yeah, trash boys. Cool.
Hey, we're here
to pick up some trash.
STAFF:
Get out and don't come back.
(sighs) -Looks like you're
gonna have to blow a roadie.
What about that guy?
Uh, I like Green Day, but... no.
(phone ringing)
-Hello?
-Who is that? Is that Chad?
(over phone): Hey, it's, uh,
Tr Cool from Green Day.
What?
It's Tr Cool
from, uh, Green Day.
Uh, uh, hi, hi, M-M-Mr. Cool.
Um... It's Tr fucking Cool.
Listen, I just wanted
to tell you, your demo
kicks some serious ass.
(Tommy laughing excitedly)
TOMMY:
Uh, that's, uh...
Uh, th-th-thanks?
Yeah, we can't stop
listening to it.
Why don't you come out
to Los Angeles next weekend
and open up for us
at the Palladium?
-(laughing excitedly)
-Dude, no way.
Uh, are you serious?
Yeah, dead serious, kid.
We play New Year's Eve.
-Get your ass out West.
-Uh, yeah, um...
Yeah, um... Uh, b-b-by,
by the way, Mr. Cool,
we're outside the venue right
now, so we could play now.
Totally, that sounds... No.
No, that doesn't work for us.
Uh, we'd rather have you
out in L.A.,
so, uh, you know, come on out.
Okay, bye. See you soon.
(shouting excitedly)
(laughing, screaming happily)
TOMMY:
Holy shit.
I've been waiting
a long time
For this moment to come, I'm
Destined for anything at all
(scatting)
-("Waiting" by Green Day plays)
-Downtown
-Lights will be shining
-(crowd continues singing)
On me, like a new diamond...
-No, Tommy.
-Come on.
There is no way I can
drive you to Los Angeles.
-I have to work.
-Jodi, please.
-Are you sure you heard him right?
-Yes.
Okay, he said Los Angeles
on New Year's Eve.
Isn't that right, Fred?
Yeah, he loved our demo.
-Can I take your car?
-No.
Because you don't have a license.
I've been telling you to take
that driver's ed course,
but you don't want to.
Mom, please, we told Tr Cool
we'd be there.
-JODI: Well, I'm sure he'll call back.
-(laughing)
And when he does, you just
explain the situation to him.
-I mean, maybe they have a show in St. Louis.
-(phone ringing)
I could drive you there.
-Mom, please?
-I got to, I got to take this.
-Oh, come on!
-JODI: Hi.
This is total bullshit.
WAYNE:
What wrong with you guys?
TOMMY:
Oh, my God, Wayne.
You're not gonna
believe this, okay?
Tr Cool called me.
-What?
-He fucking called us,
-and he loves our demo.
-Oh, my God.
Keith, are you hearing this?
Tr Cool called them.
No shit? On your phone, dude?
Yeah, he invited us to L.A.
to open for them on New Year's.
-Ha!
-Well, you guys got to go.
-Right?
-Are you kidding?
Yeah, it's like a once-
in-a-lifetime opportunity.
My little brother's
gonna be a rock star.
-Thanks, Wayne.
-Fuck yeah.
Can you, uh, can you drive us?
-(Keith chortles)
-Oh, Tommy, man.
Me drive you? Really?
I'm not a chauffeur.
You work for fucking Uber.
Yeah, well, sorry, I can't.
I got plans.
-What plans?
-WAYNE: Get this shit.
I got to take down the
goddamn Christmas decorations.
I mean, maybe if you were
to have helped me last week
and not stranded me on the roof,
giving me fucking frostbite,
I'd be more open to helping you.
Come on, this is about Green Day.
You shouldn't have left me
on the roof, dummy. Sorry.
Damn. Sucks.
-Lick my balls.
-This is total fucking bullshit.
-(door opens)
-(laughing)
-That worked perfectly.
-(door closes)
Fucking I told him a storm
was coming, didn't I?
-Holy shit.
-I said, "Watch your back, bitch."
Yo, it's time
to pay the fiddler
-Time to pay the fiddler
-(laughing): Exactly.
The fiddler getting paid
It's a fiddler payday.
What? Okay.
I'll never forget the day that
we almost opened for Green Day.
"Almost opened"?
Man, we're not almost opening.
(exhales)
FRED: Well, how are we
getting there? Walking?
-Dude, I'm not walking to Los...
-Wait.
I know.
I'm not jogging, either.
I have flat feet.
No, it's not jogging, okay?
Call Chad and tell him
my mom's gonna take us.
All right,
we're taking Wayne's car.
FRED (laughing):
It's sick.
(horn honking)
Chadskys!
-(horn honking)
-CHAD: What?
-You ready to go to L.A.?
-Dude, you're on
-the wrong side of the street.
-TOMMY: Come on, man.
-Get in.
-Your parents like the concert?
-Yeah.
-How was it? They bring earplugs?
No, they said
it was a little too loud.
-Oh, that's a shame.
-But they...
-they didn't like the fire part.
-(trunk opens)
-But they loved the bunny.
-(trunk shuts)
FRED:
Hello, Chadskys.
You got Apple Pay, right?
Apple Pay? No.
Dude, my mom shut it off after
you ordered all those dildos.
-(laughs) That was good.
-That was good.
It's not funny.
It was embarrassing.
-All right, y'all ready?
-Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
I thought you said
your mom was driving.
No. No, I just said that
'cause you wouldn't have come
otherwise.
That's not cool, man.
Th-This is a bad idea.
Okay, listen, all right,
I'm hearing Mama's Boy Chad.
I need to hear
Punk Rock Chad, okay?
Yeah, the Chad
that don't give a shit.
The Chad who don't give a shit.
Okay, say it with me, boys.
"I don't give a shit."
ALL:
I don't give a shit!
-There we go.
-FRED: Okay.
-(horn honks)
-I give a shit!
Yo! Get that jabroni!
Yeah!
-Get him, Tommy!
-CHAD: Wait, wait.
-Do you have a license?
-TOMMY: No.
("Geek Stink Breath"
by Green Day playing)
I'm on a mission,
I made my decision
Lead a path
of self-destruction
A slow progression
killing my complexion
And it's rotting out
my teeth
I'm on a roll
No self-control
I'm blowing off steam
with methamphetamine
Well, don't know...
CHAD:
Guys? My mom's texted me, like,
-17 times in the last minute.
-TOMMY: Turn that shit off.
CHAD: Yeah, but I don't
know what to say to her.
TOMMY:
Tell her that, uh...
my mom is driving
and that we're safe and sound.
FRED: Yeah, and tell
her to suck on deez nuts.
CHAD: To what? I'm
not telling her that, Fred.
-Tommy.
-Yeah.
My dad said that we have to
sign a contract before we play.
And if we don't sign a contract,
-we don't play.
-(Tommy scoffs)
It's not about contracts, man.
-Not about the money.
-Yeah.
It's about all the babes,
all the time, all over us.
CHAD: Yeah, but it's also about
creating a career opportunity.
TOMMY:
Okay, man, calm down. All right?
-Seriously, we're good. All right?
-FRED: Shotgun!
-Lick a fart!
-TOMMY: Get in the back, Fred.
Tommy, I'm just saying that
Green Day's selling tickets
for this event,
and we're part
of the entertainment,
so we should share
in that profit.
Okay, but it's not
about money, man.
I mean, Green Day's advice was
to play any show anywhere.
All right, we're paying our
dues, man. This isn't a job.
Oh, ow! Ow!
What's happening? Ow!
Guys, guys, guys, guys.
(laughing): "Hey!"
-Oh, God, not the puppet.
-"It's Gravy time."
-What's up, Gravy?
-"Hey, hey, Chad.
"Uh, why-why don't cannibals
eat clowns?
'Cause they taste funny."
-(Tommy laughs)
-"Oh, hey, Tommy.
"Where do ducks poop from?
Their butt quack."
-"Hey, Gravy. Shut the fuck up, bitch."
-(laughs)
-"Oh, I love it when you talk dirty to me."
-All right.
-That's enough. Thanks, Gravy.
-"I love it
-when you talk dirty to me."
-Ah! -(starts engine)
("Geek Stink Breath" playing)
Geek
Stink
Breath.
CHAD:
Seriously, I mean, wh...
what do we do about the phone?
I mean,
we can try to look for it.
Maybe it's in the car.
It's not in the car.
We searched the car.
While you were taking
a 30-minute dump.
Could be anywhere.
I say we keep going.
Not enough time. Cool?
Here's what we do.
We continue on this road
through Arizona,
-through this coffee stain in Nevada...
-FRED: Oh, dude.
Arizona. My uncle lives there.
Really? Can we,
like, stay with him?
You fine with staying
in a federal prison?
Wait, wait, wait. Guys.
How are we paying
for all of this?
Do you guys have any money?
Yeah, that's actually
a really good question. Um...
Pool your money together,
see how much we have.
Okay. Uh, 20, five,
a one, and a one.
That's...
Yeah, 27. Yeah. Okay,
how much do you have, Fred?
I have...
that.
CHAD:
16 cents and a guitar pick.
That's all you got?
Actually, you owe me five.
So...
there's an extra five.
It's not an extra five.
It's the same five.
-You just dragged it across the thing.
-Okay, well,
maybe you should go
to my second grade math classes
-and learn that adding an extra five to...
-Okay, Chad,
-how much do you... Chad!
-It's the same... -It's not!
-Do math!
-How much do you have?
I have 87, guys.
Fucking hell.
Give it up for Chad.
-Dude, we're freaking golden!
-(laughs)
-We're golden?
-Yeah.
Guys, we're screwed.
I know math is hard for you guys,
but we have to drive
all the way there
and all the way back.
And we don't have even enough
to get there.
TOMMY:
Sorry, what's that?
-No, no, no! G... No!
-Get that shit! Get it! Get it!
-It's for emergencies only!
-Get it! -This is an emergency.
-Uh, hi. Excuse me, miss. Hi.
-Stay!
Uh, can I get three cheeseburgers
and three milkshakes?
-Because he has a credit card.
-FRED: Thanks, Chad.
-(kisses)
-Oh, gross.
("Bab's Uvula Who?"
(by Green Day playing)
Taxi!
Taxi!
(grunts)
Airport, please.

FRED:
Uh... 'kay.
All right. Well, then who was
the original drummer
for the Violent Femmes?
-I don't actually know. Who?
-(rattling)
FRED:
I don't know, either.
Wait, do you guys
hear that noise?
(rattling continues)
What is that?
-Holy fuck. These are mushrooms.
-(Fred chuckling)
-Dude, are those your brother's?
-(phone buzzing)
Oh, shit, guys.
My mom's calling me.
What do I do?
Uh, don't answer.
Okay. I won't.
(buzzing continues)
I'm so sorry, guys.
I have to. I'm sorry.
She's gonna, like,
call the FBI or something.
Hi, Mommy!
DEB (over phone):
Hi, snookums. How's the drive?
Are you wearing your seat belt?
-Yeah, it's fastened.
-Oh, good.
(whispers):
Tommy's mom is a good driver.
Uh...
Tommy's mom is a good driver.
Oh, good.
Put her on the phone for me.
CHAD:
Um...
Uh...
Uh, uh, hi, Mrs. Sweeney.
-It's Tommy.
-Oh, hi, Tommy.
Put your mom on the phone.
Um, I unfortunately
can't right now.
She's inside getting us
some nutritious lunch.
Oh.
She knows Chad
is allergic to tree nuts?
I'm not, Mom. I'm not allergic.
Yes, you are, mister.
The last time you had
a teensy bit of a walnut,
-your anus blew up.
-Mom!
Remember we had to put that
-special cream on your anus?
-Mom, stop!
-(laughing)
-Mom!
-(loud clack)
-What the fuck, Fred?
Boys, what's going on?
-I didn't do anything.
-N-Nothing.
-We're just driving.
-Driving?
TOMMY: Hey, it's
fucking smoking. Pull over.
-No, it's-it's not.
-Guys, shut up.
Uh, Mom, I'll call you back.
I love you, okay?
-TOMMY: Pull over.
-FRED: I am.
Calm down. I can see!
I have eyes. Did you ever think
that I can fucking see?
CHAD: Okay, Fred,
just pull over and pop it.
FRED:
It's not my fault, though.
CHAD:
Pop it.
You kids are crazy!
Hey, you owe us 50 bucks!
-No, I don't!
-CHAD: Oh, shit.
-It's not that bad.
-Yes, it is.
It's really bad.
No, all we need is those,
uh, bouncy,
uh, things, those, um...
-Jumper cables?
-Yeah, those.
You need another car
for that to work.
-I don't think so.
-Yes, you do.
You need another power source.
Oh! Dude!
The car has a car lighter.
-Oh.
-(chuckles)
Fucking dumbasses.
-(horn honking)
-(vehicle approaching)
(horn honking)
CHAD:
Maybe he can help us.
(door opens)
Which one of you goons gassed up
at my station back there?
-Gaggle of numbnuts here.
-Um...
I gave you the credit card.
-Me?
-Yeah.
I think so.
-Hi. I'm the goon.
-Son.
All my years
of owning a gas station,
I have never met anybody
as stupid as you.
You don't even know
what you did, did you?
-No.
-Yeah.
You filled your vehicle up
with diesel!
CHAD:
Oh, Jesus.
Is that why it's not running?
Oh, look, Bobby Brady
grew a brain cell.
-Way to go, dumb-ass.
-Hey, hey, hey.
That's not even the dumbest
thing this shit stain did.
-Shit.
-What else did I do?
You drove away
with this in your vehicle!
-God.
-Is that bad?
Yeah, it is!
You never, ever, ever come
to my gas station again.
Capisce?!
Never, ever, ever!
Wait. (stammering)
Sir, please!
Can you hold on a minute?
-No!
-No, no. We're a band! We're opening for Green Day!
Please, we need
to make it to L.A.!
Yeah, nobody gives a shit!
Sir, I'm begging you!
I'm so sorry for my friend!
That has nothing to do with me!
Please, please,
please, please, please!
Fuck!
I'm sorry, Tommy.
-I don't want to hear anything.
-I'm sorry, okay?
I used the green one!
Yeah, the green one
is fucking diesel, Fred.
And I don't know
what that is, Chad!
It means
you're a dumb-ass, okay?!
And-and-and my brother's
gonna kill me!
Yeah, and we're stranded now.
Oh, everybody's always like,
"Go green."
So that's what I did!
-CHAD: Yeah.
-I went green!
CHAD: And now we're
not fucking going anywhere.
TOMMY:
Way to go, Fred.
(sighs)
You calling a tow truck?
No, I'm calling my mom.
Why-why are you calling your mom?
Because he probably needs
some more cream for in his butt!
It wasn't in my butt, okay?
It was around the rim.
I'm done, guys. I'm done.
No. No, no, no, no, no, no.
We-we can't go home.
Dude, this is silly.
(stammers)
Tr Cool called
and said we should open for them?
It doesn't make sense.
Yeah, you didn't
fucking talk to him.
Okay. It's fair.
But did you think
maybe he was just joking?
(Tommy scoffs)
(stammers)
-Joking?
-Yeah.
He was just messing with us.
You think he was joking?
I don't know.
Okay. (sniffles)
It's possible that he was joking.
But what if he wasn't?
That's also possible.
FRED:
I mean, yeah, dude.
Like, it happened
for the Linda Lindas,
and they're younger than we are.
See? It could happen!
Okay, so we're not going home.
Okay, we're gonna push the car
down to those lights over there.
Let's go.
("Panic Song"
by Green Day playing)
-(hood shuts)
-Let's go, Chad.
CHAD:
What lights?
Come on, Chad.
I'm going!
Hurry up!

-TOMMY: Fucking ass.
-(airplane passing overhead)
Please fuck off.
FRED:
Hey! You see that?
A-An airplane?
We should be
on a fucking airplane,
not pushing this car, Tommy.
(song fades)
Do you have the time
To listen to me whine
About nothing
and everything all at...
Hmm?
No. Wait. No.
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no!
No, no!
Wayne!
-What's going on, man?
-Where's the fucking cab?!
-What? The cab's...
-Where...
Where's the fucking cab?!
(pants)
-Where's the fucking cab?!
-Oh, no.
-Not today.
-Dude, where the fuck is it?!
Not today. Not today!
(panting)
Is it there? Do you see it?
(panting)
-Mushrooms.
-That little son of a bitch.
-(whooping)
-Ah!
WAYNE:
I'm gonna kill this fucking kid.
(grunting)
Turn in here.
-MAN: Hey, brother.
-MAN 2: Hey, dude. Hey.
(Tommy groans)
(indistinct chatter)
All right.
(sighs) Okay, let's, uh...
Let's see if someone in here
can help us.
Are you sure?
I mean, that doesn't seem
like a safe...
Good evening, sirs.
Um, I'm not leaving my bass
in the car.
Yeah, good point.
Can you get mine?
(band playing "Most Messed Up"
by Old 97's)
(lively chatter)
(glasses clinking)
Yeah, I need a little,
need a little, need a little
Need a little sympathy
Yeah, I need a little,
need a little, need a little
Need a little sympathy
Yeah!
WILMA:
Hey! We got time
for one more band.
-$500 cash prize.
-TOMMY: Wait.
Wait, 500 bucks?
I'm sorry, ma'am.
We're not here for that.
W-We actually need help.
Um, no, no, actually,
we'd like to sign up.
-All right.
-Hey, what the hell are you doing?
Do you want to keep on
pulling out your credit card?
Guys, we don't know
any country songs.
Yeah, we do.
Ain't that right, Fred?
-Yeah, we do.
-CHAD: What song?
-What song is that?
-Sign us up!
-Hey, go get your shit.
-Wh... No!
Guys, no, we will get jumped!
We can't do that here.
Fred, stop!
-Seriously.
-Aah! We're playing this shit!
-Stop.
-Get your ass on that stage, boy.
(cheering, applause)
Here we go!
All right, hey, hey!
Everyone settle the fuck down!
We have one more band.
Get up here, guys!
Come on.
Come on up here.
These guys are from...
I don't know
where they're from, actually.
This is your name?
Serious-Seriously?
Give it up for Anal Dogs!
(laughter)
-What the fuck, Fred?
-(jeering)
We're actually called
Analog Dogs.
MAN:
Who let the dogs out?!
CROWD:
Who, who, who, who, who?!
(booing)
Go buy a fucking razor.
Okay, this is for
all you lovers out there.
Ready?
(playing Green Day's
"Dominated Love Slave")
I want to be
your dominated love slave
I want to be the one
who takes the pain
-FRED: Take my pain.
-You can smack me
When I do not behave
Mack me in the forehead
with a chain
'Cause I love feeling dirty
And I love feeling cheap
So cheap.
And I love it
when you hurt me
So drive them staples deep
Hit that shit, Chad!
You can slap me
and call me naughty
Put a belt sander
against my skin
FRED:
Woo-hoo!
I want to feel pain
all over my body
I can't wait to be punished
for my sins
FRED:
Come on, y'all!
I love feeling dirty
And I love feeling cheap
Like your mom!
And I love it
when you hurt me
So drive them staples deep
Lose your fucking mind!

(cheering)
(crowd singing along):
'Cause I love feeling dirty
And I love feeling cheap
So cheap!
And I love it
when you hurt me
So drive...
Them staples!
-(song ends)
-(cheering, applause)
-(whooping)
-MAN: Anal Dogs!
(Wilma hollering)
(shouting excitedly)
Yeah!
All right!
We got ourselves a winner!
Here you go, guys.
(cheering, applause)
Whoo!
See, Chad?
High school does pay off!
Wait, I'm sorr... high school?
How old are you boys?
-Aw, shit.
You got to give it back.
-Come on.
-(booing)
No, hey! Shut up!
No, there are rules!
You have to be 21 to enter.
-It says it on the form.
-(booing)
TOMMY:
Okay, um, do any of you
-know how to fix a car?
-WILMA: Oh.
Colby.
He's the best mechanic around.
Colby? You back there? Colber?
(crickets chirping)
I can fix it.
I just need a wrench
and a Crescent wrench
and-and hammer.
Two hammers and a wrench.
Goddamn it, Colby.
These boys are stranded,
-and you're drunk.
-I'm not drunk.
I can fix it. I just need
a whole bunch of oil...
and a hammer
to unscrew the driveshafts
and, um, a f... what do you c...
uh, the fan thing.
I can fix it.
Colby, you couldn't fix
a goddamn gin and tonic
right now.
Oh, I would like
a gin and tonic, actually.
Oh, yeah, I bet you would.
I'm gonna go have one.
And, um...
maybe a rum and Coke
and a margarita.
Dude, we're opening
for Green Day,
and we need to be to L.A.
by New Year's.
Sorry, boys.
That's not happening.
Come on, man.
Fuck.
(quietly):
Fuck, fuck.
-Now what?
-(sighs)
Um...
I mean, I have an idea.
What if we just cut off
the left side of the car?
Why would we do that?
Well, 'cause then everything
would be all right.
Look, I'm really not in the mood
for your dumb fucking jokes
right now.
(sighs) All right, guys.
I'm out.
What do you mean you're out?
I'm done.
Later, bitches.
Whoa, dude. What about us?
There is no us.
Uh...
Right, Fred?
What's he talking about?
You want out, too?
Uh, uh, not really,
but wh-what other choice
do we have, man?
We're fucking teenagers.
We have nothing but choices.
You know, I get it.
All right, you're scared.
All right?
I-I'm fucking scared, too.
Okay, the Palladium?
All those fucking people?
I'm terrified.
All right? But, you know what,
I-I bet Keith Moon freaked out
a time or two.
But did he ever fucking quit?
(sighs)
And you always talk
about Dee Dee Ramone
and how that guy
has nothing to lose.
You've got less than him.
I mean, come on!
(sighs)
You know what?
I'm drawing a line.
Okay?
Last year or next year?
Because I'm not going back.
I know what's back there.
It's all the bullshit.
Okay? So...
I drew a line.
You can't really see it,
but it's there.
I can see it.
(sighs)
Then what are you gonna choose?
Last year or next year?
Uh...
Next year, dude.
Come on, Chad.
I mean, that...
that was fucking awesome!
I mean, don't you want
to feel like that again?
It's...
Guys, I'm not even sure I'm
gonna be in the band next year.
What-what are you talking about?
My parents say I got to, like,
start focusing on college now.
FRED:
College?
What about Keith Moon, man?
WILMA:
Hey, boys!
Is it true you're opening for
Green Day on New Year's Eve?
Yeah.
Shit.
You got to get your butts
out of here.
We don't have a car.
What about that thing?
I had a customer leave it here,
like, a year ago
'cause he couldn't pay
his bar tab.
I think he lived in it
for a little bit.
-Well, does it run?
-WILMA: For sure.
Colby fixed it.
-I'm a mechanic.
-Sometimes.
Yeah! We're going
to L.A., Chadsky!
-Go.
-I-I-I don't know how to thank you.
You don't need to thank me.
Just go give 'em hell.
(chuckles softly)
Thank you.
(cheering)
("Haushinka"
by Green Day playing)
(engine starts)
Haushinka is a girl
with a peculiar name
I met her on the eve
of my birthday
-Did she know?
-Did she know?
Did she know
before she went away?
-Does she know?
-Does she know?
Does she know?
But it's too damn late
This girl has gone far away
Now she's gone
This girl has gone far away
Now she's gone
Now she's gone,
now she's all gone.
-(banging)
-CASSIDY: Hello?
(banging)
Hey, hey! Excuse me? Hello?
Anyone... Oh.
(groans) What's up?
Uh, could I get a sundae?
-A what?
-A sundae.
Like an ice cream sundae.
Oh. Oh, no,
we don't have ice cream.
Seriously?
I mean, dude, you're driving
an ice cream truck.
Yeah. But it's not,
like-like, o-ours.
Oh.
Man, that's not cool.
Uh, I don't know
about you, Cassidy,
but my heart's a little broken.
-CASSIDY: Yeah. Me, too.
-You should be ashamed of yourself.
(chuckles softly) Um...
Uh, yeah, sorry. Um...
W-We're just a band.
We borrowed this.
We're driving to L.A.
You're a band?
Yeah.
What kind of music?
Good music.
(chuckles) Really?
Good music.
Interesting.
Yeah. Interesting.
Uh, uh, uh, hey, uh,
wh-what do you mean,
"interesting"?
(entry bell chiming)

(video game sound effects
playing)
You looking for me?
Sorry?
Oh, no, I was looking
for, um, these.
(stammers)
Downy Fabric Softener?
Yeah, I need some Downy Fa...
uh, whatever you just said.
(chuckles):
Yeah, you doing much laundry?
Oh, is that what these are for?
Okay, um...
maybe I was looking for you.
Mm, cool. I was looking for you.
-Oh, yeah?
-Mm-hmm.
There is a party
I wanted to tell you about.
Cool. I like parties.
(laughs):
Yeah?
Why were you looking for me?
'Cause I was wondering
if you were gonna tell me
-about any parties.
-(laughs)
Yeah, well, then,
you are in luck.
There is one at this place
called The Hole in Amarillo.
It's only, like,
30 minutes from here,
but there's a little map.
Shit, um...
I don't think I'm gonna
be able to make it.
We have to get to L.A.
by New Year's.
You think you're making it
to L.A. in that thing?
-(laughs softly)
-CHAD: Tommy.
You have the credit card?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, and, um, uh,
go get yourself some ice cream.
CASSIDY:
Thank you.
That is very generous.
-Oh, I'm not paying for it.
-(laughs)
("Bobby Sox" by Green Day
playing)
Hey. Let me fill you up.
(laughing)
Do you wanna be
my girlfriend?
I'll take you to a movie
that we've already seen
Or sit at home
and watch reruns
There's no other place
I wanna be
Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh,
ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh,
ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh,
ooh, ooh
Do you wanna be
my girlfriend?
Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh,
ooh, ooh
Do you wanna be
my girlfriend?
Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh,
ooh, ooh
Do you wanna be
my boyfriend?
We'll walk the cemetery,
and I'll kiss you again
And make our dead friends
blush, oh, whoa-oh-oh
We'll be getting married
right there on the scene...
All right, boys,
we're taking a detour.
Wait, what?
FRED:
Aw, dude, Tommy's in love.
I scream! You scream!
She's gonna scream
for your cream!
And I'll bore you to death,
oh, whoa-oh-oh
Doesn't matter
when we are in love
Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh,
ooh, ooh
(fading): Do you wanna be
my boyfriend?
How the fuck is everybody
doing today?!
(loud cheering)
We are The Paradox.
Happy to be out here.
Fucking shit up for y'all
in The Hole.
This is a song
called "Ms. Lauren"
about a really hot teacher.
Hope y'all like it.
-(guitar playing rock intro)
-(cheering loudly)
(drums join in)
Get the fuck up!

(shouting, cheering)
I keep on failing,
I can't pass a test
And I stay up all night
Don't get sleep,
don't get rest
'Cause I'm thinking about
you, you know what I mean
And my bedsheets got stains
'Cause you're stuck
in my dreams, oh, well
'Cause when your
blonde hair's tied up
I don't know what to do
We got to find a way to
stop me from falling for you
Oh, yeah.
CHAD:
Where are we going?
FRED:
Where the hell are we?
CHAD:
This is The Hole?
(laughter, indistinct chatter)
FRED:
Dude. Girls.
CHAD: And they
actually have teeth, Fred.
(crowd chatter)
(rock band playing in distance)
OLIVIA:
I just get down
Staying in, losing friends
and breaking out
Try to keep it out of my mind,
but there's no doubt
Oh-oh
It's all I ever think about
I care and I'm so kind
Tiptoe the finest line
It's been growing
all my life, oh-oh
The pressure on my spine
To win love
like it's a prize
I say it all the time,
but really it's so fine
Didn't wanna talk about it
I don't wanna cry
Didn't wanna think about it
I don't have the time
Didn't wanna talk about it
I don't wanna cry
Didn't wanna think about it
I don't have the time.
-Hey, Chad.
-Yeah?
You want to eat
Wayne's mushrooms?
Dude, what? No, of course not.
Have you met me? (scoffs)
(music continues playing
in distance)
-(horn honking)
-(tires squealing)
Whoa!
-Eat a bag of dicks, asshole!
-Whoa, Keith.
(horn honking)
(tires squealing)
They didn't have any onion rings,
so I got you celery sticks.
Celery... Why-why not fries?
I thought you wanted a vegetable.
Isn't that why
you ordered an onion?
Onion rings is not
a fucking vegetable, Keith.
But they are, dawg.
Did you not learn
your food groups?
Who fucking dropped you?
-(phone ringing)
-It's my mom.
-Just be quiet, please.
-All right. She's hot, though.
-Say hi.
-Shut the fuck...
What's up, Jodi?!
Hey, Mom, sorry. Keith. Um...
JODI (over phone):
Wayne, Wayne, where's Tommy?
He's not answering his phone.
-What?
-He's missing.
I'm afraid he went
to Los Angeles on his own.
Missing? No, he... Tom...
No, he's not missing.
Tommy's with me. I mean,
I'm with him. We're together.
Oh, you're with him?
Yeah, yeah, I'm with him.
I decided to take him to L.A.
He should've told you.
Did he not tell you?
TOMMY: Yo, you guys
were fucking awesome.
(laughs) Thanks.
What happened to going to L.A.?
Um, you know what?
It was the fabric softener.
You know, I was driving along
and I thought to myself,
"I really should've bought
that fabric softener."
Mm. Yeah, no,
you're gonna regret that.
Oh, I know. I really fucked up.
-(yelling)
-(laughter)
Guy's in a hurry.
(laughs nervously)
What are you gonna do now?
Oh, well, my plan was
to go to this party
and ask that girl
from the store...
Ask her what?
For her number.
Hold this.
Wha...
What are you writing?
I highly recommend
you don't wash this shirt.
Okay. What about your name?
(Tommy chuckles)
Olivia?
-Mm-hmm.
-Olivia.
I like the way you say it.
(deep voice):
Olivia.
(normal voice):
I'm sorry. I...
(grunts, laughs)
Um...
-Oh, God.
-Tommy, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Thanks for coming, Tommy.
Uh, thanks for inviting me.
Hey, guys,
these skaters are so lit.
(clicks tongue)
He's a work in progress.
(Fred screaming)
Oh, my God.
I don't have hands.
Tommy?

Hey, um... can you see me?
Do you guys hear a voice?
(laughs):
Oh, my God, there's a ghost.

What the hell?
Have I heard of you guys?
No, definitely not.
Then how... how are you opening
for Green Day?
-Honestly, I don't know.
-CASSIDY: Hey, guys.
Th-There's something's wrong
with your friend.
-TOMMY: Fred!
-(Fred screaming in distance)
OLIVIA:
Fred?
FRED (in distance):
Oh, my God...
Fred, where you at, bud?
Fred!
FRED:
Stop talking to me!
Fucking invisible, man.
What's up?
I just want to be seen, man.
I just want to be seen.
-(sighs)
-I've been so lonely, dude.
(whispering): I, um,
I think he took mushrooms.
-(Fred continues indistinctly)
-Oh.
FRED:
This just fucking sucks, man.
I just want to be seen.
It's all I want to be.
(groans):
Oh, my God.
Let me try and talk to him.
FRED:
Oh, it's so fucking bad, dude.
It's so fucking bad,
'cause I'm fucking invisible.
I'm never gonna make it, 'cause
I have a fucking ghost penis.
Fred!
Where are you, man?
I can't see you.
If-if you're... (sighs)
If you're around here,
you can take my hand
so that I know where you are.
Oh.
Shoot, there you are, man.
(sighs)
Mm, good news: I can feel you.
Uh, and I can hear you.
How about we just sit here
and breathe for a minute?
Look, Fred,
it totally, totally sucks that
you're invisible right now.
But, you know, I am sure
that this whole invisible thing
will wear off soon.
I-If you kind of think about it,
this is actually kind of cool.
I personally have never met
an invisible person before.
Have you?
I've never met anybody invisible.
Yeah. Dude, you're, like,
the first invisible person
to ever exist.
That's pretty fucking cool, man.
-OLIVIA: Whoa.
-(Fred and Olivia laughing)
Actually,
you know what we should do?
Is we should get
your band onstage,
-and that way you can, like, play a show...
-TOMMY: Mm.
While you're still
invisible, yeah?
It's a pretty cool idea, dude.
Well, I guess that means...
it's showtime, dude.
TOMMY:
That's the spirit.
(Fred panting)
(grunting)
Bye, man.
How did you do that?
Um...
my sister used to have
panic attacks, so...
You're incredible.
(both laugh softly)
(thunder rumbling)
(lively crowd chatter)
-We're playing "Freaking Out."
-Yeah?
Is it gonna rain?
D-Don't worry about it.
Stand there.
TOMMY:
Yo!
We're Analog Dogs!
(whooping and cheering)
Hit that shit, Fred.
(playing rock intro)
(crowd cheering)
Everybody's freaking me
Freaking me, freaking out
Everybody's freaking me,
freaking me, freaking out
Everybody's freaking me
Freaking me, freaking out
Everybody's freaking me
Freaking me, freaking out
Guns and ammunition
Hide under the desk
I got no sense of direction
I'm just scared to death
-Too much noise in my head
-(thunder rumbling)
Everybody's freaking me,
freaking me
Freaking out,
everybody's freaking me
Freaking me, freaking out
Everybody's freaking me
Freaking me, freaking out
Everybody's freaking me
Freaking me, freaking out
There is no such thing
as youth
And I don't give a shit
Got my back against the wall
Handcuffs on my wrists
I'm surrounded with assholes
Everybody's freaking me,
freaking me, freaking out
Everybody's freaking me
Freaking me, freaking out
Everybody's freaking me
Freaking me, freaking out
Everybody's freaking me,
freaking me, freaking out.
-(song ends)
-(cheering wildly)
(cheering continues)

Fucking fell into the pit,
and all the people,
they picked you up.
-Is your face good?
-I didn't fall.
I did not enjoy that.
I'm all dirty.
WILMA:
Hey.
What do you want with that car?
Uh, this is actually mine.
Is my little brother inside?
-Tommy?
-Yeah.
No, they left.
-Where'd they go?
-California.
They're opening for Green Day.
They're not, though.
I-I played a prank on them.
Wow.
That's a dick move.
Yeah, I know.
-WILMA: What an asshole.
-(phone buzzing)
WAYNE:
Oh, shit, it's my mom.
KEITH:
Don't answer it.
Hey, Mom.
JODI (over phone):
Where the hell is Tommy?
Where's Tommy?
Oh, he's right here.
Oh. Thank God.
Put him on the phone.
Okay, sure.
Yeah, uh, one second.
Can you do Tommy?
(laughing):
Can I do Tommy, bro?
Are you kidding? Give me that.
Give me that.
Uh, hi, Mom.
Tommy?
Yeah. Hi, Mommy.
We're having a great time.
What's up?
Is this Keith?
What? I wish.
Nah, I'm just Tommy.
Shut up, Keith.
-Put Wayne back on.
-For sure, Jodi.
Uh, I can't do Tommy.
-I can only do celebrities.
-Shut up, man.
Well, he's not famous, bro.
-He's not even verified.
-Hey, Mom.
What the hell is
going on there, Wayne?
Tommy told Chad that
I was driving the boys
to Los Angeles.
W-Well, why would he say that?
-I'm driving him. He's lying.
-(door handle rattling)
Well, uh, Chad's mom
just came into the restaurant.
She's obviously a little shocked.
I don't...
I mean, what the hell?
Where is Tommy?
I-I don't know.
Wayne.
Wayne, listen to me.
I've already lost
a husband, Wayne.
I can't handle losing a son.
Yeah, I know, Mom.
I'm sorry.
You really don't have
to keep on doing this.
It's fine.
I want to.
Ew.
Never mind. Now I don't.
You know, um...
I was thinking.
Mm-hmm.
What are you, um, what
are you doing for New Year's?
'Cause you should, um...
you should come to L.A. with us.
If you want.
Yeah, um...
Nah, it's all good.
-Forget I said anything...
-No, no, no, no, no, no.
Stop. I do.
I-I really want to, um...
-It's just...
-Boyfriend?
You got a boyfriend? She...
She's got a boyfriend.
(laughing):
No, I don't have a boyfriend.
Girlfriend?
(snorts) No.
-She's got a girlfriend.
-(laughing)
I don't... no, nothing like that.
Um, it's just,
my parents are out of town.
I have to watch my little sister.
-Cassidy?
-Mm-hmm.
She'll be fine. I mean...
look at her.
Or we could just
take her with us.
(scoffs):
No, not...
No, I can't do that, Tommy.
My parents would kill me.
Hmm.
But you're not gonna stay
out there, right?
I don't know. Maybe.
All right, so then
you'll come back through?
Maybe.
CASSIDY:
Are you guys gonna kiss?
'Cause, I mean...
(Tommy laughs)
I don't know, are we?
Mm...
Maybe.
(Tommy chuckles)
If you come back.
Well, then,
I'm definitely coming back.
("Last Night on Earth"
by Green Day playing)
I text a postcard
sent to you
Did it go through?
Sendin' all my love to you
You are the moonlight
of my life
Every night
Givin' all my love to you
My beatin' heart belongs
to you
I walked for miles
till I found you
-I'm here to honor you
-CHAD: Sorry, guys.
If I lose everything
in the fire
I'm sendin'
all my love to you.
(sign buzzing)
-(sighs)
-(night bird hooting)
Yo, I need you guys to get up.
I need your help.
Huh? What happened?
I-I don't know,
I think I made a wrong turn.
Come on, get up.
Chad, come on.
Where the hell is Chad?
-Where the hell is Chad?
-Huh?
Where the hell is Chad?
He's, like, gone.
Oh, dude, he's just
in the front seat, probably.
No, he, like, disappeared.
-Fuck.
-(door closes)
What?
He quit.
He fucking quit.
Man, after everything
I did for him.
You know, he was
this close to becoming
such a great
rock and roll drummer.
Now he's just gonna be
another... another douchebag.
FRED: Okay, it's just,
he's not desperate,
Tommy, he's just not like us.
No, I know, Fred, it's just,
I never thought
he'd actually quit.
I mean, I'm actually hurt, man.
(sighs)
What are we gonna do now?
What can we do?
We'll just find a new drummer.
We can't find a new drummer.
The show is in two days.
(sighs)
We'll put up
really good flyers, man.
(smacks lips)
Hey, give me a break.
(sighs)
Where are you going?
To use the phone.
To make a flyer?
Wait up.
Tommy.
Uh... hello?
Is anyone there?
There's a bell.
(rings)
What's that smell?
MAN (softly): Think I'm
gonna fuck with these kids.
(normal volume):
Can I help you guys?
(door opens)
What can I do for you guys?
Uh, w-we're lost.
Can we use your phone?
My phone?
You guys don't have phones?
W-We lost ours.
Mm-hmm.
Where are you guys from?
-Kansas City.
-Kansas City.
I don't know it.
Are you serious?
It's in Kansas, the state.
Yeah, I'm serious.
I don't know it.
I know some cities.
I know Fresno.
I know Mesquite.
I know Rancho Cucamonga.
That's three.
Yeah, um, cool.
We're gonna go. Thank you.
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
It's not safe out there.
It gets very dark at night,
and strange things happen
in the dark.
If I were you, I'd just
shack up for the night,
get a nice, restful sleep,
wake up fresh in the morning,
brand-new start.
Yeah, well,
we can't afford it, man.
You can't afford $35?
We don't have $35.
Do you have $25?
No, um...
Actually... we do.
I stole Chad's card.
-Here you go.
-No, I didn't hear that.
All right, we doing $25 or $35?
Tw...
-$35.
-All right.
-Here we go.
-(scanner beeps)
Here's your card.
Welcome to the Lincoln Motel.
Just follow me.
Here we go.
You know, this motel was built
near three insane asylums.
(chuckles)
All within a few miles.
(chuckles)
The guards are the worst.
They just let everyone escape.
There's one particularly
dangerous patient...
who no one can seem
to find or see.
I think he likes it here.
(chuckles)
In fact, I know he does.
I know he likes it...
right here.
203. All right.
Here we go.
Come on in.
So this is your room that
you're gonna be staying in.
Don't go walking around the
grounds or anything like that.
That's the TV.
If you need to use it,
come and get me.
I will turn it on. Okay?
Uh, bed.
Um... bathroom.
Uh, the shower doesn't work
exactly right,
so if you need to use the shower,
it's the same as the TV.
Just come and get me,
and I'll turn it on for you.
Uh... light.
(sighs) You know.
And, uh...
this closet is not
part of the room.
This is my property.
All right?
I keep my things in here.
Do not open it.
Do you understand?
Okay? This is my closet.
You're renting the rest of this.
That's you, this is me.
Don't even attempt it.
Excuse me.
I'm gonna leave your key here.
And, uh, get some sleep.
TOMMY: Yeah, um, sorry,
I just have one question.
Does that phone work?
No.
Don't wake up Sleepy.
Who's Sleepy?
(bed creaks)
So what's the plan?
We still gonna go to L.A.?
What the fuck?!
What? I'm talking to you.
I mean, can you not see me again?
We don't have
a fucking drummer, Fred.
So we just gonna give up?
Why is it up to me?
You just always know what to do.
Yeah, well... I don't, so,
yeah, I guess we're giving up.
But... but what about
all that stuff
that you said
about Dee Dee Ramone?
No, you said all that stuff.
You gave me a big pep talk
because you said...
he was a legend,
you said that he was brave
because he-he believed in himself
and that, mainly,
he didn't give up, man.
I didn't say any of that.
Well, that's what I got from it.
(exhales)
I was bullshitting, man.
All right, it's like
when I was a kid.
My dad... he used to,
he used to hype us up,
you know, tell me
about the dreams he had for us
and moving to a new school,
to a new neighborhood and...
all that hopeful shit.
Okay, those were pipe dreams.
Man, he died on a cot
in our living room.
Dude, take it easy.
Okay.
All right.
If we're gonna throw
a pity party,
I'm gonna bring a fucking clown.
Not the fucking puppet, please.
Yeah, the puppet, please.
"Uh, hey, uh,
what's the difference
"between, uh, Tommy's attitude
and a bucket of shit?
The bucket."
"Hey, uh, knock knock."
I said, "Knock knock." Do you
know how these jokes work?
Stop with the fucking
kid shit, man!
Hey, you're like a little kid.
"Tommy, when's this?
Tommy, when's that?"
Screw you, man, all right?
You're fucking selfish.
Worst friend I've ever had.
Yeah, I'm the only friend
you've ever had.
I wish you never taught me
how to play bass.
I wish we never started a band.
Well, that's really good for you
because I fucking quit the band.
-Oh, yeah? You quit?
-Yeah! Yeah, I do!
I fucking quit, all right?!
So, um, say bye to Gravy
'cause you're never talking
to him again,
and tell me where my fucking
sunglasses are, Tommy.
("Brain Stew" by Green Day
playing)
What the fuck is this?!
What the fuck?
Is that someone's head?
(knocking on door)
(song pauses)
(knocking continues)
-I said don't wake up Sleepy!
-(Tommy and Fred screaming)
FRED: Go, go, go,
go, he's a serial killer.
Oh, God! It was a head,
it was a head, it was a head,
it was a fucking...
it was a head, it was a head.
-Go, go, go, go, drive!
-Hey, I'm going!
My mind is set
on overdrive...
Thank you for visiting
the Lincoln Motel.
In my face
A crooked spine
My senses dulled
Past the point of delirium
On my own, here we go.
WAITRESS:
Anything for you?
TOMMY: Uh, no,
thank you. I'll just eat his.
FRED:
No, you won't.
(laughs softly)
Can I have a piece of bacon?
Okay.
I'm all out.
Okay, look, I'm sorry.
I was tired, I was frustrated.
I'm sorry.
"What did the leper say
to the prostitute?
Keep the tip."
(sighs)
"I went to the doctor
to get an exam.
"He told me
I need to stop masturbating.
"I said, 'Why, Doc?'
He said, "Cause I'm trying
to examine you.'"
You laughed, bitch.
I'm not a little kid, man.
All right? I was just asking
because I thought we were a team.
We are a team.
Well, teammates ask each other
questions, okay,
like what's the plan, teammate?
Where are we going now, teammate?
Yeah, oh,
who is our drummer, teammate?
I'm sorry.
Now, what do you need?
I need you to take back
that stuff
about me being a little kid.
You know I'm sensitive
about that.
I know.
And I take it back.
What else?
I need us to go to L.A.
like we talked about.
Deal.
Anything else?
I need to dine and dash.
(snickers) Why?
Because I've never done it,
you've never done it.
We're in a punk band
and we're opening up
for fucking Green Day.
All right.
But don't, like, dash.
You know, be normal.
(Fred giggling)
"Eat my shorts!" (giggling)
It's actually surprisingly easy.
-(electronic chirping sound)
-(both laughing)
(sighs)
What's that noise?
Oh, it's crickets.
Whatever.
(engine not turning over)
What the fuck?
It's not starting.
(panting)
(chirping sound continues)
What the fuck?
Did you put diesel in it again?
No.
Okay, at the gas station,
what'd you put in it?
No, I didn't go near the pump.
Then what'd you put in it?
Nothing. I didn't know what to
put in there, so I put nothing.
So we have no fucking gas?
(horn honking)
Yo, is that Chad's mom?
DEB:
Yes, I knew I'd find you!
Ha ha!
I knew I'd find you! Yes!
(whooping)
Yes!
Mom of the year.
Yes, I knew I'd find you!
Match point for Debs.
-Chad's mom is fucking crazy.
-Match point for Debs.
-Yeah.
-AirTag, baby.
I snuck an AirTag
in Chad's drum kit.
-Ha ha.
-(pounds on hood)
Chad, get out here!
Okay, baby, it's time.
Read them your statement.
FRED: Yeah, baby,
read us your statement.
I, um...
I wrote it down
so I wouldn't forget.
(clears throat)
Yo, bitches, it's me, Chad.
Guys, I'm resigning from the band
and I'm really sorry.
The truth is,
as much as I want to be,
I'm not punk rock like you guys.
I constantly overthink things
and I don't know
how to be impulsive.
-Hey, what the fuck is that?
-Wait, hold on, there's more.
No, we're not done.
What are you talking about?
I mean, we can still do this.
DEB:
Okay.
I want a photo.
Need some photographic evidence
for...
for Jodi and Fred's mom.
-(camera clicks)
-TOMMY: Wait, Mrs. Sweeney,
can you please take us to L.A.?
Please.
-What? Get up.
-Mrs. Sweeney, I'm begging you.
-This is all that I ask.
-Tommy, get up right now.
Deborah, please.
-Don't call me Deborah, Fred.
-Please, Deb... -Please.
-Mrs. Debbie.
-Mrs. Sweeney, we're so close.
-This is ridiculous.
-Mom... -Debbie...
Chad, get up right now!
(Deb sighing sharply)
It was cute for a second.
It's not cute now, okay?
It's over.
We're going home.
("Wake Me Up When September
Ends" by Green Day playing)
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up
when September ends
Like my father's come
to pass
Seven years has gone so fast
Wake me up
When September ends
Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are
As my memory rests
But never forgets
what I lost
Wake me up
When September ends
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up
When September ends
Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are
As my memory rests
But never forgets
what I lost
Wake me up
when September ends


Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up
When September ends.
SECURITY GUARD: Whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, roll your window down.
You can't park here.
-We're Analog Dogs.
-Yeah, we're the opening band.
What?
What, you're
an air-conditioning company?
No, we're Analog Dogs.
Okay, look, this is a concert,
it's not a dog show.
Yeah, we're not a dog show.
Yeah, music, dude.
-Like... (imitates drumbeat)
-Okay, hey, hey,
I don't know
what you're talking about.
Park right here.
Go over to the other side.
Talk to Otis.
FRED:
Sick.
("Walking Contradiction"
by Green Day playing)
Do as I say, not as I do
Because the shit's so deep,
you can't run away
I beg to differ
on the contrary
Agree with every word
that you say
Talk is cheap
and lies are expensive
My wallet...
Whoa-whoa-whoa-
whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa.
This entrance is
for artists only, boys.
Okay, are you Otis?
The guy over there said
to talk to you.
Who are you?
We're Analog Dogs.
I'm sorry, you're who?
FRED:
Analog Dogs.
We're the opening band.
Um, what the fuck
are you talking about?
Okay, look, I don't know
if anyone told you,
but Tr Cool asked us to come
here and open for them tonight.
-He listened to our demo and loved it.
-FRED: Yeah,
we're on the list under
Analog Dogs, man, D-O-G-S.
Oh, here it is, it's under...
Do you think
I was born yesterday?
No, you look older than that.
Tr Cool did not call you guys.
Yeah, he did.
(mocking):
"Yeah, he did."
Puberty is so hard.
Okay, look,
I know what the problem is.
Okay, we're probably
under Anal Dogs.
Are you listening to me?
Are you listening to us?
Okay, we need to do sound check.
-Okay, fuck this. Move.
-Hold on a minute. Okay.
Tr Cool is in there.
Tell him we're out there.
-He knows we're coming.
-Get out of here, man!
-FRED: Fucking horseshit!
-Next!
CHAD: I'm sorry, man. I-I
really don't want to say it,
-but I told you so.
-Shut up. Shut up. It's okay. It's...
It's a misunderstanding.
We'll figure it out.
Hey. I'm, uh, here
to drop this off for Green Day.
-Oh, did the blood come out?
-Yeah.
Okay, you got to go to
the other backstage entrance.
It's on the other side.
Just hug the wall, brah.
-Thanks.
-Okay.
Okay.
I got an idea.
Where are you going?
Tommy.
Uh, excuse me.
Is this the bunny suit?
-Uh, yeah, yeah.
-Oh, okay. Is the blood out?
-Yeah.
-Amazing. Okay, we'll take that.
-Oh. Hey, he actually...
-Thank you so much.
-He told me to take it back...
-Oh, that guy?
He doesn't know anything.
Yeah, no, uh, we need it
for something over here,
so you did a great job.
Thank you so much.
I appreciate it.
Fred, put this on.
And, you, put on that bunny suit.
Aah! Chadsky!
("Corvette Summer"
by Green Day playing)
Get around
I can get around
Fuck it up
on my rock and roll
Here we go now
Get around
I can get around
Drop a bomb on my rock and...
WOMAN:
Bunny.
Bunny. Hey. Bunny.
-Bunny.
-Chad.
-Chad.
-Bunny.
Here are the tickets
for the giveaway.
Let's find someone
who doesn't have tickets
and make their day.
CHAD:
Tommy, tickets.
-Very funny. (chuckles)
-(chuckles)
Someone outside.
Aw, come on.
CHAD:
Wait, where are we doing?
-Good luck, Chad.
-Tommy, help! -Later.
Okay, um...
Let's find Tr Cool.
Yeah. Tr Cool.

That's fucking Blue.
TOMMY:
Hey.
-Fred.
-Dude.
Fucking Blue.
(sighs)
(indistinct chatter)
(knocking)
Uh... (stammers) Tr Cool?
-CHAD: Oh, hi.
-All right, bunny coming through!
-(fans cheering)
-CHAD: Hi.
-'Scuse us. Thank you.
-(excited chatter)
-Thank you. Yes.
-CHAD: This is fun.
-Hi, everybody. Hey.
-(cheering)
High five.
Out of our way, please.
Thank you.
(playing guitar)
Hey. What are you doing?
Give me that.
(stammers) I'm sorry.
I'm so, so sorry.
-Get out of here.
-Yeah.
(cheering, whooping)
OTIS:
'Sup, Tony?
Hey!
Okay.
Look, um, I swear I'm just...
-Come here! (muttering)
-(groans)
Take this hat off, man!
Okay, look, I'm so sorry.
I was just looking
-for Tr Cool...
-What'd I tell you, man?!
(lively chatter)
-Yo, where do I put this?
-Just put it there.
No one's gonna take that shit.
See Tommy?
No, but these California people
are weirding me out, dude.
Okay, whatever, man.
We need to find Tommy.
Tommy boy!
-Tommy!
-Come here, boy!
Let's see that sign.
Hold it up nice and big.
Flip it around. Upside down.
Awesome.
Do a little hop... dance.
Perfect. Who needs tickets?
-Who?
-KEITH: No way, no way.
-What? No way.
-Tickets, tickets.
-Yeah, we do, we do.
-Free tickets.
-It's your lucky day.
-What?
-Fucking oh, shit.
-Congratulations.
You're going to see
Green Day tonight.
-Enjoy the show.
-No way!
There's no way we got tickets
to Green Day.
Yo... wait, wait.
Wh-What about Tommy?
Hey, screw that.
Let's get in line.
What are you talking about?
These are on the floor!
-What'd I say?
-All right, chill out.
The next time I catch you,
I'm gonna put you in a kimura.
-Huh?
-What the fuck is that?
Brazilian jiujitsu, man.
Get this punk bastard out.
Get out of here, man!
-(grunts)
-Give me that jacket.
Give me that jacket.
Give me that jacket.
I want it.
(panting)
Don't come back. Hey.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.
Okay, you got to let me
in there. My band's in there.
Nope. No ticket,
you can't get inside.
Sharif don't like it
("Rock the Casbah" by The Clash
playing)
Rocking the Casbah...
I have the bunny.
We're coming right now.
CHAD:
Ooh. Ooh.
They're about to start. Come on.
CHAD:
(stammers) What?
Oh, Tr Cool.
(shouts)
Dude, where have you been?
-It's about to start.
-Yeah, I fucking know, man.
We got in the wrong goddamn line.
This shit's moving so slow.
I'm gonna freak out
if we miss any of the show.
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
Dude, dude, dude,
I think that's Tommy.
(laughing):
Yo. He looks so upset.
-I bet he's crying.
-Fuck you, Keith.
-What?
-That's my little brother.
Wait, so he's not the fiddler?
Where you going, dude?
We're almost to the front!
Just... yo, get my shrooms!
I'll see you in there!
("Rock the Casbah" continues)
Green Day! Green Day!
AUDIENCE (chanting):
Green Day! Green Day!
-Green Day! Green Day!
-(song ends)
Green Day! Green Day!
("Bad Reputation" by Joan Jett
playing)
Go. Go, go, go.
You're on! You're on!
(cheering, applause)
I don't give a damn
'bout my reputation
Living in the past,
it's a new generation
A girl can do
what she wants to do
And that's what I'm gonna do
And I don't give a damn
'bout my bad reputation...
I don't have the ability
to get you inside.
-Please, just...
-Tommy.
Wayne, what are you...
I'm not in the mood right now.
Give me a second.
-Okay, please, come on.
-You're not opening for Green Day.
-I-I-I, I am, it's just...
-No, you're not,
Tommy, I...
I was messing with you, man.
What?

Not me, not me
Not me.
(cheering, applause)
Yes! Oh, my God,
it's Green Day! Yes!
(cheering, applause)
Billie Joe! Billie Joe!
(playing "American Idiot")
(cheering, applause)
Don't wanna be
an American idiot
Don't want a nation
under the new media
And can you hear
the sound of hysteria?
The subliminal
mindfuck America
Welcome to a new kind
of tension
All across the alienation
Where everything
isn't meant to be okay
In television dreams
of tomorrow
We're not the ones
who're meant to follow
For that's enough
to argue...
You're saying Tr Cool
didn't call me?
No, that was Keith.
It was a joke. I'm sorry.
It was a joke?
-Fuck you, man.
-Tommy, wait.
Come on, man.
Where you going? Hey.
Look, I'm-I'm sorry. I...
What-what do you want?
You want to hit me?
You know what, Wayne?
At Dad's funeral, they said,
"Stand up if you're gonna
take care of Tommy.
Stand up
if you're gonna help Tommy."
Do you know who stood up?
You did.
Yeah, I know I did,
and I meant it.
Really?
I'm not a dad, okay?
No shit. Okay?
'Cause all I ever get from you
is, "Shut the fuck up, Tommy.
Get the fuck out, Tommy."
Never, "How are you?"
or, "How are you doing?"
Okay, I hear you. I do.
But you know what, man?
My dad died, too.
Nobody asked,
"Who's gonna look after Wayne?"
Everybody was worried about you.
What about me, man?
I was just a couple years older
than you are now.
You ever think about that?
(sniffles)
I guess I don't.
Nobody does, man.

Look, I'm sorry, Wayne.
That sucks.
Whatever, man.
Death is fucking messy.
Look...
I never thought you were gonna
drive across the country.
I mean, what the fuck, dude?
I thought you'd get it.
It's goddamn Keith.
Yeah, I mean, I really thought
it was Tr Cool.
Then again, I don't really know
what Tr Cool sounds like, so...
So, are we good?
Yeah, we're good.
This bunny gave me
a ticket earlier. Uh...
You should have it.
You should go see the show, man.
Wait, really?
Yeah. Go for it.
(laughs softly)
Thanks.
Okay. Um...
Oh, and, uh, please don't forget
how sorry you are when you
find out about your car.
I-I know about the car.
You do?
Yeah, um, just get in there.
(Green Day playing
"Know Your Enemy")
(cheering, applause)
Do you know your enemy?

I say hey
Oh...
Let's go!
AUDIENCE:
Hey, oh
Do you know the enemy?
Do you know your enemy?
Well, gotta know
the enemy, rah-eh
Do you know the enemy?
Do you know your enemy?
Well, gotta know
the enemy, rah-eh
Do you know the enemy?
Do you know your enemy?
Well, gotta know
the enemy, rah-eh
Well, violence is an energy
Against the enemy,
well, violence
Is an energy, rah-eh
Bringin' on the fury
The choir infantry, revolt
against the honor to obey
Oh-eh-oh-eh
Overthrow the effigy
The vast majority
Well, burnin' down
the foreman of control
Oh-eh-oh-eh
Silence is the enemy
Against your urgency
So rally up the demons
of your soul
Oh-eh-oh-eh
Do you know the enemy?
Do you know your enemy?
Well, gotta know
the enemy, rah-eh
Do you know the enemy?
Do you know your enemy?
Well, gotta know
the enemy, rah-eh
The insurgency will rise
When the blood's
been sacrificed
Don't be blinded by the lies
In your eyes
Jump! Jump!
Jump, jump, let's go!
(guitar solo)
Holy fuck!
Oh-eh-oh-eh
Oh-eh-oh-eh...
Whoo!
Come on!
I say hey
Oh...
Let's go!
AUDIENCE:
Hey, oh!
All right, who knows
how to play the guitar?
Who knows how to play?
Who knows how to play?
I'm dead serious.
You know how to play?
You know how to play?
All right, you. You.
Do you know how to play?
You swear to God?
All right,
get your ass up here right now.
(cheering, applause)
Get your hands up in the air!
Oh, oh.
(whooping)
What the fuck? Yeah!
Well, violence is an energy
Oh-eh-oh-eh
Well, from here to eternity
Oh-eh-oh-eh
-Well, violence is an energy
-(whooping)
Oh-eh-oh-eh
Silence is the enemy
So gimme, gimme revolution
(cheering, applause)
Let's go, Fred! Whoo!
When I say,
"One, two, three, four,"
I want to see everybody
jumping, all right?
Do you know the enemy?
Do you know your enemy?
Well, one, two
One, two, three, let's go
Do you know the enemy?
Do you know your enemy?
Well, gotta know
the enemy, rah-eh
Do you know the enemy?
Do you know your enemy?
Well, gotta know
the enemy, rah-eh
Overthrow the effigy
The vast majority
Well, burnin' down
the foreman of control
Oh-eh-oh-eh
Silence is the enemy
Against your urgency
So rally up the demons
of your soul
Oh-eh-oh-eh.
Happy New Year!
Whoo!
-(song ends)
-(cheering, applause)
You-you can have the guitar.
You can keep it.
(cheering, applause)
Now practice!
-JODI (over phone): Wayne.
-Hey, Mom.
Uh... (chuckles)
-I found Tommy.
-You did?
Yeah, no, he's-he's okay, Mom.
Uh, we're both okay.
Oh, thank God.
Everyone, hands up.
The countdown is about to begin.
Here's my toast for the New Year.
I got champagne
for my real friends
and real pain
for my sham friends.
-(cheering, applause)
-Hey. All right, ten...
ALL:
nine, eight, seven,
six, five, four,
three, two, one.
(cheering, applause)
(playing "Auld Lang Syne")
-(song ends)
-Happy fucking New Year!
(cheering, applause)
Happy New Year!
-(laughter)
-(whooping)
Oh, hey, yo.
Wayne!
Jesus, what the fuck's going on?
Dude, this guy was
the fucking bunny, bro.
I was the bunny.
-You gave us the tickets?
-Yeah!
-Bro, what the fuck?
-That was me.
-Wait, that was...
-That was me.
I didn't even realize that, dawg.
I got a shirt, and I got most
of it on my camcorder, too.
-Oh, hell yeah. Okay.
-Yes! Yes! Yes!
-Yo!
-Dude!
-Billie Joe!
-Fucking rocked!
-Billie Joe gave it to me.
-Bro, he played onstage.
Look, it's not the sneaking in
I object to.
It's the lying.
Kid, you don't know Green Day.
I'm not lying. I do. Can I go?
Oh, you do?
Well, here's your chance.
Hey, Billie Joe.
You know this kid?
Yeah.
Analog Dogs.
Yeah.
Yeah, I heard your tape.
You got that song...
What's it... "Bored."
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Yeah.
-It was good. Really good. Yeah.
-Really?
-Thank you.
-I don't know, maybe we can
hook up, like, produce or,
you know, play a gig
or something like that?
I play the keys.
Experimental jazz.
-Oh. Good for you.
-Yeah.
All right, uh,
Tr's got your number, so...
-All right.
-Otis.
-Wong.
-All right, take it easy, guys.
-They call me "The Wong."
-See you later, Billie Joe.
Oh, man. Bad, bad, bad, bad.
(exhales)
Told you.
Yeah, you did. Yeah.
Keys, huh?
-WAYNE: Dude, what?
-(Fred screams)
Tommy! Tommy, did you see?
-Dude, dude, dude, dude.
-It was insane!
-I told you.
-I don't even know, bro.
-I just...
-(fireworks exploding)
This guy was
the fucking bunny, bro!
Whoa.
(laughs):
Oh!
("Good Riddance (Time of Your
Life)" by Green Day playing)
Another turning point,
a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist,
directs you where to go
So make the best
of this test
And don't ask why
It's not a question
but a lesson learned in time
It's something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had
the time of your life
So take the photographs
and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf
in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories
and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth,
it was worth all the while
It's something unpredictable
But in the end is right
-Blue.
-WAYNE: Sky blue?
I hope you had
the time of your life
Here they come!

It's something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had
the time of your life

It's something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had
the time of your life.
(song ends)
Well, it's too late
for you to save my soul
Gonna drive my car
around a telephone pole
It's now or never,
gonna do or die
I'm gonna start a fire
in the afterlife
Well, I'm never gonna R.I.P.
I'm never gonna R.I.P.
I'm not going down
in history
'Cause I ain't ever
gonna R.I.P.
Staring at the reaper
dead in the eye
You're never gonna take me
dead or alive
Don't call me a priest,
you can save the last rites
I'm dead on arrival
from the party last night
Well, I'm never gonna R.I.P.
I'm never gonna R.I.P.
I'm not going down
in history
'Cause I ain't ever
gonna R.I.P.
I'm a tightrope walker
with my hair on fire
Dodging a bullet
in the line of fire
Shaking my stick
like a rattlesnake
I'm dancing with the devil
at the pearly gates
Well, I'm never gonna R.I.P.
I'm never gonna R.I.P.
I'm not going down
in history
'Cause I ain't ever
gonna R.I.P.
I'm never gonna R.I.P.
I'm never
gonna R.I.P.
I'm not going down
in history
'Cause I ain't ever
gonna R.I.P.
I'm never gonna R.I.P.
I'm never
gonna R.I.P.
I'm not going down
in history
'Cause I ain't ever
gonna R.I.P.
(song ends)
Here we go again
Infatuation touches me
Just when I thought
that it would end
Oh, but then again,
it seems much more than that
But I'm not sure exactly
what you're thinking
Well, I toss and turn
all night
Thinking of your ways
of affection
But to find that it's not
different at all
Well, I throw away
my past mistakes
And contemplate my future
That's when I say,
"What the hey?"
Would it last forever,
you and I together?
Hand in hand, we run away
Far away
I'm in for nasty weather
But I'll take
whatever you can give
That comes my way, yeah
Far away
Here we go again
Infatuation touches me
Just when I thought
that it would end
Oh, but then again,
it seems much more than that
But I'm not sure exactly
what you're thinking
Well, I toss and turn
all night
Thinking of your ways
of affection
But to find that it's not
different at all
Well, I throw away
my past mistakes
And contemplate my future
That's when I say,
"What the hey?"
Would it last forever,
you and I together?
Hand in hand, we run away
Far away
I'm in for nasty weather
But I'll take
whatever you can give
That comes my way, yeah
Far away
(shouting indistinctly)
(cheering)
Well, I toss and turn
all night
Thinking of your ways
of affection
But to find that it's
not different at all
Well, I throw away
my past mistakes
And contemplate my future
That's when I say,
"What the hey?"
Would it last forever,
you and I together?
Hand in hand, we run away
Far away
I'm in for nasty weather
But I'll take
whatever you can give
That comes my way, yeah
Far away
Far away.
Let's go far away!
-(song ends)
-(cheering and applause)