No Clue (2013) Movie Script

SECOND FLOOR
EMPIRE PRIVATE INVESTIGATIONS
Jiminy Cripes...I mean...
holy, I mean...hello!
I'm sorry, I should have knocked
No, no, that's fine. That's goo...
Ach!
Come in, come in...
I mean you're in already...ah...
Have a seat
Oh, thank you
My name is Kyra.
And I, um...
I was..um...
Are you, are you okay?
Do you need a glass of water or something?
Yes, that would be nice.
I don't have any water...I just realized
Do you want...uh, do you want some...uh...
Gum?
No, that's alright
No, I just need a moment to gather myself
I'm not thinking very clearly,
I'm so...
I'm so frightened
Frightened? Why?
My brother is missing.
And I'm afraid...
Well, I'm afraid he might be...
I can't even say the word.
Dead?
Oh!
Oh, geez, sorry
I shouldn't have blurted that out
I wasn't thinking.
Do you want some...
I should get a little fridge in here or something
No, that's okay
It's not your fault
Just take your time
Deep breaths
Okay, I'm alright
Honestly, I'm okay now
Okay, good.
So your brother's dead?
Oh, I'm sorry. He's not dead
I mean, why you think he's dead...
He's just missing.
Things go missing, that's not so bad.
Your keys will go, or whate...
I can't find one of my gloves
That doesn't mean it's gone forever and ever
Vanished into the ether
And never to be seen by human eyes again
Oh, I'm a jerk
No, you're right
I shouldn't assume the worst
That's right. In fact, you should never assume
because you...
It's just that I...I called him on the phone
the other night and he was very agitated
and he wouldn't tell me why
Y'know we talk on the phone all the time
we're really, really close
But this time I asked him what was wrong
And he just kept saying
Don't worry
Well, there you go
Well, then I called him the next morning and
he answered the phone, but he didn't say anything
It was just this heavy breathing on the phone
And then
someone was calling his name in the background
and he just - all of a sudden - he whispered...
I love you, sis
And hung up.
Holy crap, that gave me goose bumps
Did you tell this to the police?
With the heavy-breathing and everything
Well...there might come a point
where I have to go to the police
and if it comes to that I will, but...
I just want to try to get to the bottom of this
without involving authorities
Oh, that, that's never good
That's not a good idea...
It's like plumbing
You think, "Oh, I could do this myself"
And then the next thing you know,
there's water up to your neck,
And there's poop floating by...
Sorry. Feces.
That's why I came to you
I know I need to get some help.
but from someone who could be...
a bit more discrete about things.
Will you help me?
Please?
Yeah, Okay, I'll...I'll do what I can.
But if it gets out of hand and into anything
weird or dangerous Then it's right to the cops
Because, uh, I can only do so much.
Okay, I understand.
So, how do we do this?
Do I pay you now, or...
Uh..let's just...
you know what, I...
I have some other things that I have to
take care of, at the moment, so...
Can we meet tonight?
Tonight? Ouch, laundry night.
Please? I only get the machine
in my building on Wednesdays
Please, please this can't wait
It's my brother.
Ya know, you're...you're right
okay, uh...
You know what, there's a pub down on
Abbot Street called the twisted Rhino
Twisted Rhino.
No, not twisted. Tall. The Tall rhino.
On Abbot Street?
No, I mean yes to Abbot, no to Rhi...
It's not Rhino, what is it?
Hip...Hippo. It's the Tall Hippo.
It's the tall or twisted some-kind-of-animal.
It's the only pub down there with an animal in its name.
Well, there's the swinging weasel...
but that's a male...
8 o'clock?
Sure, I'll see you then
And you're name is Mr...
Leo. Just call me Leo.
Thank you, Leo
So, it's a missing persons case, huh?
About the size of it.
And at no point during the conversation
did you think to tell this woman she's
in the wrong office.
Or that you're not a detective,
In fact, you're a pen salesman.
It never came up, no.
And I'm not a pen salesman.
I sell specialty advertising.
Pens, or matches, or hats,
the little foamy beer can cozies...
Whatever you need your logo on.
I can make it happen.
Oh, that's right.
I forgot about the hats and cozies.
Yeah, with skills like that
you should be fighting crime.
I'm not fighting crime.
I know I should have said something,
but she just kept busting into tears
Ho-hokay
That's it.
What?
She's good-looking.
You are so shallow.
Honestly, Ernie, who said
she was good looking?
I couldn't even tell you what she looked like.
I did..I didn't...
She was unbelievable, Stone-cold
gorgeous dish full of red-hot fox meat.
That was set under a hottie lamp until it was smokin'
Oh, my gosh Leo, six minutes you're with this woman,
you're in love. You fall in love
like a twelve year-old girl.
Let me guess,
You're probably home practicing
writing your name with her last name.
Probably thinking about names that you guys might
have for your children
No...well, I've always liked Kyle
But it's not even like that.
She just seemed genuinely lost,
like she really needed help.
And the detective guy who's down the hall...
Who's actually a detective.
He's outta town for two weeks.
I heard the landlord talkin' to the FedEx guy.
So he can't help her.
Neither can you.
Suddenly, you think you're James Bond.
James Bond, the private eye.
Whoever.
In your world, James Bond is a guy
you can just hire.
to hide in the bush
and photograph your wife
greasing the pool boy.
Whoever! I don't keep a list
of detectives in my head
in case I'm in a stupid conversation.
Well, it doesn't matter anyway
because I'm going to tell her tonight.
No, you won't.
You're going to start to tell her
and then she's gonna flap her eyelashes at you
and you're gonna go,
"amashawhahashe's a pretty girl"
And then you're gonna wet yourself.
Give me some credit.
I am giving you credit,
because you're probably gonna crap yourself.
Look, I don't care if she is pretty.
And she's not pretty,
she's a smoldering tower of nuclear hottitude.
I got that...
She looks like that famous...eh, supermodel
What's her name?
James Bond.
Okay, very funny.
Uh, did you tell her about me?
Oh.
Ah, Gator/Hippo, same thing.
Hey.
How are you doin'?
I'm fine.
You look lonely.
I'm not.
Maybe you're lonely,
and you just don't know it yet.
I'm meeting someone.
And you two have each other,
so we're covered.
Oh, she thinks she's
too good for us.
I couldn't imagine someone who isn't.
Oh, I'm very curious to see
your boyfriend now.
To see how pretty he is.
To see how un-pretty we can make him.
heh-heh-heh
Hidey-ho,
Sorry I'm late.
Wanted to get a load of whites
in the wash before I left.
I tried to get Mrs Beelman to
switch nights with me, but
she just kept yellin',
"No swapsies!"
Which...it is the rule, but still
lighten up, Eunis!
Oh, sorry.
...uh, I'll have
a scotch
and grapefruit juice.
Oh, what the hell?
Stop it!
Might just bump into you
another time
Yeah, you ain't even all that pretty.
I, I never said that I was...
Did you tell them I was pretty?
Can we just get down to business? Yeah,
um, but I have to be upfront about something.
Right, the money.
No, it's no the...
I can pay you 500 dollars a day.
A-a day? 500 per day?
I don't know what you're accustomed to.
It's not important.
Let's get down to business.
What can you tell me about your brother?
His name is Miles.
Miles Severeign.
He's a computer game developer.
He designs video games for a company
called Glasskey.
Okay. Um...alright
Glass...
Glasskey?
Are you alright?
Yeah, I guess I shoulda brought a notebook.
Like one of those little flip-up ones
they always...like I always use on my cases.
Oh, I'll just - I'll use your napkin.
You ready?
Yeah.
You sure?
Shoot.
Miles designs video games for
a company called Glasskey.
He's a pretty big deal, too.
He designed a video game last year
called Curse World.
It was the largest selling game.
It sold like 200 million
dollars or something
Are you getting all this?
Not a word.
The napkin's wet.
Thanks, this will help.
Listen, I couldn't tell you when
he went missing,
but the last time I spoke to him
was on the phone two days ago.
I just wanna know where he is.
And that he's okay.
Can you find him for me?
okay, well let's start...uh,
first things first
what's his address?
88 Falcoln Road.
North end of the city.
What?
Can I have my pen back?
Thanks.
Okay, um...alright, well I'll,uh,
head over there first thing tomorrow morning
Couldn't you go tonight?
Ah, man...
Every second may count.
Yeah, you're right.
Of course, um, well, should we take my car, or...
I couldn't go with you.
I couldn't take it.
My nerves are shot
I just need to lie down.
But, please, please go tonight
I'm so worried.
Well, as much as I hated to admit it,
maybe my pal Ernie was right.
Maybe I was a sucker for
a pretty face.
But her skin was as smooth
as a boiled egg.
Soft as a newborn kitten
that had been rubbed
with a sheet of fabric softener
and then tossed
into the dryer for 20 minutes
on a delicate cycle.
Her hair smelled like Lavender
and fried onions.
And her breath was warm.
Warm as a fat guy's armpit on a hot
summer...ope, here we go.
Hello?
Is anyone home?
Your patio door is open.
Miles?
Your sister's looking for you.
Holy...
Holy, that's blood...
Oh, jeez, that's blood.
Ah, not good, not good,
not good!
Not good, not good!
Not good, not good, not good
not good, not good!
Not good, not good,
not good!
Hello?
Leo, it's Kyra.
Not good, not good!
What's not good?
What do you see?
I'm, uh, I'm at your brother's place
and it looks like his place has been trashed.
I do-I don't want to upset you,
this doesn't necessarily mean anything, but
there was something on the floor...
does your brother eat a lot of ketchup, or...
spaghetti sauce?
Are you saying you see blood on the floor?
Or paint.
Maybe it was red paint.
Maybe he spilled paint and then
got mad and
kicked his furniture to pieces.
And went on a holiday to calm down.
Ah, that's probably it.
Mystery solved.
No, no, no.
Le-Leo, listen to me, Just calm down,
Do you see anything that could look like a clue
as to where he is?
O-okay, well I'm-I'm looking around...
and I don't see anything.
Mind you, I'm not there anymore.
You left?
Yes, I left!
Because it could all be evidence
for the police!
We talked about this.
We are not going to the police.
We don't have to go to them.
We just call them, and they go.
They have their own cars.
Don't do anything yet.
I need to see you.
I'm an emotional mess.
I need to talk to you at my motel.
Motel?
Come in.
The door's closed.
Open it.
Isn't it locked?
A smart man
could find out.
What kind of motel has doors
that don't lock?
I wouldn't feel safe sleeping here.
I mean I...I could if I had to.
I unlocked it in case I was in the bath
when you came.
You hurt your head?
No.
Have a seat.
Okay.
Whew, what a day, what a day.
Leo,
you could sit here on the bed.
No, this-this is good.
It's like being at the beach.
Without the bugs.
Oh, there's some bugs.
Sit on the bed
and let me look at your head.
Okay, look
if we're gonna do this
there's something you need to know
about me.
You have a magnetic ass?
Thank you.
Yours is none-too-shabby, either.
But first things first.
Oh
Oh, hey!
A comic book.
Oh, it's just...
It's wrapped in plastic.
Are you a collector or something?
Yeah, kind of.
It's a fairly valuable edition,
so would you mind just...
Alright, yeesh, I'll put it back.
Hey, you got a hockey card, too.
What a nerd.
Yeah, it's a rare rookie card.
Hey.
Who collects license plates?
What's this about?
That's a souvenir. It's off a car
from a movie.
Really? Cool.
Action movie, I'm guessing.
Can I look at that head of yours?
Oh, you have a bit of a bump.
Does this hurt?
No, I'm kidding. I'm fine.
But, look,
we do need to talk.
About the police?
I know.
You have to believe me,
when I tell you I have my reasons.
Involving the police could put my
brother in extreme peril.
Is there more to this than you're telling me?
Nothing you need to worry about.
Really? Because...uh, you just used the
phrase extreme peril.
If you do this for me,
I will be deeply, deeply grateful.
Okie-dokie then, I'll uh..
I'll uh...
See what I can...find.
Once the sun comes up.
Great, call me tomorrow
if you find anything.
Right.
Okay, then.
I'm off.
Way off, apparently.
I'll, uh...
I'll call you tomorrow.
Ya gotta take it with ya, Eddie
You just gotta!
I don't gotta do nothin'
gorgeous.
That's one of the things I like
about bein' me.
But Eddie...
If you don't take it with you
They're gonna know
the diamonds are fake.
Diamonds?
Listen, Luscious,
This stopped bein' about diamonds
when my partner took
a slug in the guts for bein' a stand up guy
So good ol' fashioned revenge, baby
And I'm gonna give your boss a snootful
You didn't give me no
choice, Eddie.
Love's love and all that
Well, but you shouldn't try to pin a
cat in a corner.
That's funny.
I always heard that about rats.
Geez,
have a good sleep.
GLASSKEY GAMES
I really don't want to...
Okay, nobody wants to.
Because it's called a paycheck.
Okay, because it's called a job...
Dipwad, okay, like look into it
You know what, I gotta go.
Okay?
Okay.
Text me later.
Can you believe that guy?
What're you gonna do?
Can I help you?
Yes, I'm uh...
I'm here to see the big man.
Who?
the big man, the big guy,
the uh, big boss man.
El capitn.
Captain Cahoona.
The big cheese...
wheel.
Mr Horn?
Yes, Mr Horn
The old Hornsy.
How is the old Hornswaggle doin'
these days?
The old horndog, Mr Horn.
Is he in?
- No.
Ah, well.
Seeya, Jake.
Seeya, Jake.
Those are short shorts
for a big man.
Who are you?
Who am I? Yeh..
You don't know who I am?
Oh, are you...are you the caterer?
Bingo, that's me.
Bingo catering, Limited.
I, uh, just came by to see
what kind of event...I would be catering.
Uh, that is to say, what
uh-uh-uh, type of event, per se...
And uh..any allergies?
The party's tonight.
You probably should have asked these questions
like a week ago...
No, no.
There's actually not that much planning involved
in catering, it's a lot of improv.
So, uh, the event is tonight.
And Mr Horn will be there?
- Here.
Here? The event is here.
Tonight?
Okay, good...yes, yes...
I can make this work.
Um, and what time is it?
- 7:30.
Great.
Okay, then...I, uh...
I'll go get some hotdogs and
chips and whatnot.
And, uh, I'll be back by 7:00.
- Hey, asslips.
Hey, fartface.
How's the detective business?
You shoot anybody yet?
Don't even laugh.
I think this might be more serious
than just some missing person.
Oh yeah?
What's going on?
Well, a guy is missing.
But I think he may have been taken by force.
You mean raped?
I...I don't mean...
well who knows?
But when I say taken, I mean abducted, ya idiot.
Like kidnapped.
Oh, I don't like this.
That's it, I'm pulling you off the case.
Time to call the cops, Leo.
It's not that simple.
I made a promise.
And when I make a promise to a
strange woman wearing a bathrobe
in a sleazy motel.
I keep it!
Did you sleep with her?
- Maybe I did, maybe I didn't.
Didn't.
What's the story with the missing
brother?
His name is Miles,
and he designs video games.
Video games?
I love video games.
I know you do,
That's why I wanted to talk to ya'.
Yeah, I just bough the new Playbox.
Oh, I thought you had an XStation.
No, I have both
Playbox and XStation.
Wow, I'm still using my old Nintari.
Anyway, this Miles guy designed
some hugely, popular games called
Curseworld. You ever...
Curseworld?
O-ho, yeah!
Heard of it?
So, I wait here then?
Check it!
Check it!
You own a copy of Curseworld?
That's why I bought Playbox, man.
This game is awesome!
It's got vampires and werewolves.
and the higher levels, it's got a
vampire-werewolf hybrid...
that can fly, but
it's still has wolf faces...
And they've got these claws that
rip flesh when they attack.
They're like...
shriek
Well, okay, real good...
thanks...for the nightmares.
Anyway, this game made a ton
of money for Glasskey.
What's Glasskey?
That's the company the missing
Miles guy works for.
This is a V5 game.
V5 Gaming company..
They've been around forever.
Never heard of Glasskey.
Hmmm. The plot thickens.
The bigdog, the head honcho,
the cheesy cahoona.
Are you referring to Mr Nelson?
Yes, Nelson.
Good old Full-Nelson.
Old Nelly Furtado.
Is he in?
What is this regarding?
It's uh..specialty advertising.
Caps and pens and fobs...
Various fobs.
Key, luggage...
What have you.
Fobs of that nature.
Mr Nelson doesn't need any fobs.
He might. He might be walkin' around
right now...
Big pocket full of loose keys rattlin'
around in his pants
Saying, "these things are drivin' me nuts."
And then you have to say,
"well, there was a fob guy in here earlier..."
"But I sent him away.
Am I fired?"
I think we both know the answer to that question.
Mr Nelson doesn't deal with Salespeople
directly.
Okay, well who does?
I do.
And we're good.
Fob-wise.
Barbara, could you call Bill
and make lunch for next Wednesday?
Yes, sir.
Was that him?
Is that Nelson?
Bye-bye now.
Nelson!
I'm guessing that's Nelson.
How you doin' today?
Do I know you?
He's just a salesman, sir.
And he was just leaving.
Just a salesman, that's real nice.
How would you like it if I said you
were just a secra-ception-nister...what it...
What are you?
Get rid of him, Barbara.
And then come to my office.
You heard him.
It's time to go.
- Okay, alright...
I just want to say two words...
Miles Severeign.
Who are you?
Come here a moment.
It's okay, Barbara.
At ease, Barbara.
I'm just gonna go shoot the shimmy
with old Nelson Mandella here for a bit.
Hold our calls.
Now, who did you say you were?
Well, let's say...
hypothetically
for the sake of argument,
that I may or may not be
a private detective
Who was, or was not,
hired to, uh, investigate
the disappearance
of Miles Severeign.
Disappearance?
Miles is missing?
You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?
- Of course not.
This is a terrible shock to me.
I cared a great deal for miles.
Um...
He will be missed.
You talk like he's dead.
Well. yes, because he quit working here
some time ago
and I haven't seen him since.
Now if you'll excuse me
I'm a busy man.
Yeah, so am I.
Swamped, actually.
You're lucky I could even fit you in today.
Next time call ahead.
That was crap.
Oh, sorry
Didn't mean to scare you, I just...
Felt that I had to say
that was a total load of crap.
What was?
I overheard the whole thing with Nelson
about him caring a great deal
for Miles,and saying he'll be missed
Old man Nelson hated Miles's guts
Interesting. Why?
Well, he created our biggest selling game
Curse World.
Yeah, and Miles wanted a bigger
piece of the pie.
I mean the game was huge,
it sold millions.
200 million.
That's, uh...word on the street.
That's right
So Nelson gave Miles a bonus,
but that's it.
Miles told him to shove it
and he left to start his own company.
- Glasskey.
- damn straight, Glasskey.
That company is going to take
a fat chunk out of the market.
Ah...it probably wouldn't be good
for this place.
And you work here?
Yeah, I'm Danny. I'm just a junior
programmer around here, but, uh,
I know what time it is,
if you know what I'm saying.
Word. Uh, alright well. thanks
for the schizzle my frizzle.
WELCOME
GLASSKEY SHAREHOLDERS
Daddy.
Hey, babe.
Excuse me.
Daddy, where's Miles?
I don't know where the hell Miles is
and why are you so concerned?
Didn't I tell you I don't want you
seeing him anymore?
Did you?
I don't remember.
Reese, I told you to stay the hell away
from Miles
If I find out you've been seeing him
behind my back
I'm going to be very disappointed
in you.
As if you weren't already.
Oops, pardon me.
heh, hot dogs comin' through.
Boy, you people can really pack it away.
Would it, uh, kill you to have a sandwich
before you come to one of these shindigs?
Excuse me.
Hey, who's in charge of liquor around here?
I don't want my daughter
getting any more booze.
I'm sorry, mr Horn, we'll
see what we can do
Do?
Don't give her any more booze.
Okay, that's what you can do.
Yes, Mr Horn.
Boy, the, uh, the place really
looks great with all the balloons and...
Man, I fell like I'm at the prom.
- Yeah, well thank you.
- Oh, it's Mr Horn, right?
- Yeah, yeah...
Sorry, I don't recall...
Well, that banner's fantastic, too.
Where'd you get that done?
Bannerama?
Geez, they do good work.
Yeah, no, I didn't actually decorate
the place.
No, I guess you probably didn't.
I wonder if, uh, it was maybe decorated by...
Miles Severeign?
Why the hell would Miles decorate the place?
I'm sorry, who are you?
Leo Faloon. I'm, uh, I'm with Video Monthly
Computer game Weekly Magazine.
You're with the press?
Yeah, yeah, I'm doing a big, uh, story about
the whole
thing with the balloons
and the grand opening and
all the happenings at Glasskey,
What is happening?
Right.
Come with me.
Sorry, Mister Faloon, this is a
private party for Glasskey shareholders only.
I'm afraid that the press is going to
have to wait
for the official release.
The word is already out about Miles new game.
The press is here.
Whattya...ow, you're pinching the
fatty part of my arm.
Okay, alright, uh-huh.
Uh, okay.
Real tough, you're lucky
I don't kick both your $4 an hour assses.
Or whatever you make.
It should be more, I'll, I'll talk to
somebody tomorrow. Get you guys a raise.
Yeah, raise your asses up to your ears
with my boot, you try that again.
Wow.
You showed them.
Oh, yeah, thanks.
I'll, uh, I'll probably follow that up
with a stern e-mail, too, if I know my temper.
Why'd they toss you out?
I, uh, made fun of Horn's party decorations
and he got all pissy.
Daddy kicked you out?
Daddy?
Well, we'l show him.
He can't kick you out
because you're my date.
Ow, you're pinching the fatty part
of my arm.
Oh, uh, okay, okay, well this is good, I just...
I have to keep a low profile.
Let's dance!
Whoa, whoa.
Even more low profile.
I already go kicked out once.
If your dad sees me in here again
he'll probably call the cops.
Ooo, you don't like cops?
Are you some kind of bad boy?
No, I'm, uh, I'm a bad middle-aged guy.
So just cool your jets, lakita.
My name's Reese.
It was a literary reference.
Lakita?
You mean Lolita.
Oh, right, well, if you read the book
you now it doesn't end well.
Uh-oh, security.
Wow, you really are a bad boy,
bringing me into daddy's office.
Daddy's office?
Oookay, I'm going to prison.
Might as well wrap my head
around that now.
So the first day in the communal shower
doesn't come as such a shock.
What are you talking about?
I, uh, don't even know anymore.
So, this is daddy's office, huh?
Wow.
It's pretty nice.
He, uh, strikes me as a guy who's done
pretty well for himself. Grow up rich?
Filthy.
How did, uh, how did
daddy make all his money?
Ask him.
Do you work here, too...
or do you just go to the parties?
I work! I'm in the marketing
and testing side of things.
Okay.
What's the word Arrowpoint
mean to you?
Point of an arrow?
College girl, eh? How about
, uh, Blaster or Coldriver, that mean anything?
Wow, this is just getting funner and funner.
Let's go back out there.
Nooo, thank you.
- C'mon, it's a party.
- Not a chance.
I'll tell daddy you're snooping
around his things.
I am thirsty.
Is there any punch?
Daddy, how did you make your money?
- Ah, crap
What are you doing with him?
I thought I asked you to leave.
No, you didn't ask.
You had two rented orangutans
bounce me.
- Mr Horn.
- Geez, they're getting bigger!
Church, good,
is Miles here?
No, I went to his place
but he wasn't there.
And it looked like the place
had been trashed.
What?
What do you mean trashed?
Trashed, busted up, furniture
had been flipped. Stuff had been broken.
Blood on the floor.
It was a question. Blood on the floor?
See, it went up at the end.
Did you call the police?
- Police? What, he's okay, right?
- Now there's no reason to call the police
Miles is a temperamental man,
we all know about him, right?
He probably just got angry
about something,
had to blow off some steam.
Mark my words, he's going to
walk in here any second and be very apologetic
I don't like the sound of this.
- me neither.
He's the reason I put my money
in this company.
I better get word tomorrow that he's fine
and his new game is complete.
- You pigs!
All you care about is
how much money Miles can make you.
Reese.
Reese, come...
I'm going to send each and every one of you
an email tomorrow explaining
everything, but I...I want you to trust me.
There's nothing to worry about.
Okay.
So please, uh, just carry on
and enjoy yourselves.
Well, that went well.
Yeah, I guess you're going to write all about it
in your big article.
Oh, do...don't worry about me.
I don't even know how to spell bankrupt.
Oh, I'll head off.
EMPIRE PRIVATE INVESTIGATIONS LTD
Wendell Welding.
Leave a message.
Hello, Mr. Wendell, This is Leo calling
from Boffo Specialty Advertising
ah...I know it's after hours,
I just wanted to leave a voice message.
uh, to say I had a bit of a...a delay
processing your order
I got called away on a family emergency
Uh, not my family, but
somebody has a brother who's...
well, you don't need all the
details, I'm sure.
But, uh, long story short,
he's probably just missing.
Although, there does look there
might be some kind of foul play or...
some...I'm rambling now
I wanted to assure you
I will fill your order for 250 coffee mugs.
with the, uh, Wendell Welding logo
on there
and, uh, and the slogan
"Totally Awesome Welding" under that.
Ah...and I see we chose the
Cooper italic font with a drop shadow
That'll be fun. That's...
fun mugs.
Hello?
- Kyra?
- Leo.
Hungry?
This is a nice place.
Oh, is it? I, I guess...
I, I don't know.
It's kind of cozy.
- So? Doesn't mean it's a date.
I never said it was.
Who said it was?
- No one.
It's just, uh, two people having
a bite to eat.
Two grown, consenting adults
of consenting age.
Having some food,
and consenting to talk.
I mean, you can call it a date,
if you need to.
Relax, Leo.
I'm relaxed.
I'm completely relaxed.
- Really?
because you just said
"consenting" five times.
Will you order me a glass of red wine?
I need to use the ladies room.
Yeah, me too.
Well, not the ladie...
the men's room is where I'd...
But the same thing that you have to...
well, I don't, I don't know what you have to do.
I'll..., you...go, I'm relaxed.
I'll...order the drinks.
Hello, Kyra.
What the hell are you doing here?
Why dno't we go chat outside?
Move it!
Good evening.
Hi, um, I'll have a rye
and root beer.
And the lady will have
a glass of red wine.
Ah, very good sir. And what kind
of wine would the lady like?
Oh, ah, red was all the information I was given.
Um, not a, not a big wine guy...
Um...Charbonei?
Is that a thing?
Not that I'm aware of.
- Savonet? Savonito!
- No.
Molet?
I believe that is a Mexican
chocolate sauce.
Oh, that sounds good, too.
But you know, I, uh, I
I'm gonna need your help.
Could you just bring a
glass of red wine?
Like a nice one? One that makes
me look like I know what I'm doing.
I will pick a nice wine.
I doubt it will make anyone think
you know what you're doing.
Well, I don't know what I'm doing
when it comes to leaving a tip, either.
Why are you following me?
I didn't do anything.
- I am not following you.
- Oh, really?
I'm supposed to believe this
is some kind of coincidence?
- No, I think there's a lot
more to it than that.
So why don't you fill me in?
- I don't know what you're talking about.
Let's bypass the whole
"little miss innocent" routine, and get
right to the part where you tell me what
you're doing with a private eye.
Okay, c'mon let's go, my turn
Oookay.
Why do you think he's a
private eye?
He's just a guy I know.
I've known this guy for a while.
Is that okay with you?
Kyra?
Look, first tell me what's with the private eye.
And why he's sniffin' around Glasskey.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Seriously.
Five seconds to talk.
One...
What the hell?
Two...
Oh, what the hell?
She's, she's like...
She's like an, uh, assassin.
or something. She's...
Okay, alright.
Okay, you can, you can handle this.
You're on a date with a killer.
No problem.
You can do this.
Just stay calm.
Just stay cool.
Just...
Just stay relaxed.
This is nothing you can't handle.
Smooth.
Just play it straight.
You're dead.
You can get through this...yeah.
She doesn't know you
saw anything.
Just play it cool.
And have a mint.
Hey, here I am.
Miss me?
Everything go okay in the ol' ladies room,
where you were this whole while?
Yes, but I'm so sorry.
Leo, I have to go.
I'm suddenly not feeling well.
Hey, no worries. I'm
not feeling so great myself.
Got a...touch of the trots.
Probably best to stick close
to home tonight.
- Thanks for understanding.
- Ain't no thing.
Well, no need to walk me
to my car.
Didn't plan on it.
Well, okay then.
Talk to you tomorrow.
- You do that.
I mean,,,uh, it was insane.
She did like seven crazy
Kung Fu moves
And some UFC stuff and some kind
of crouching monkey/drunken panda thing
She's like a trained killer.
I, I gotta go to the cops.
So, let me get this straight.
Before, when you didn't know
she could kill you,
you were going to keep your promise to her.
And now that you know she can kill you,
you're going to break your promise to her?
How does that make any sense?
Sorry, I wasn't listening.
Look, if you double cross her she's going
to chop off your head and stuff it in your mouth.
Oh, you're right.
What am I gonna do?
Just, just keep doing the investigation thing
Just keep her happy.
Whatever it takes to not make her
kill you...or me.
You've probably talked about me.
I, I'm in way over my head here.
I, I don't know what I'm gonna...
- Get a hold of yourself!
- You get a hold of myself!
- Hello?
- Leo?
- Leo!
- No, I'm here.
Where are you?
Why?
I'm just curious.
I'm, uh...I'm around. I'm a...
out and about. I'm..
well, I'm...couldn't even tell you where
I am really.
I'm all over the city investigating...
I'd have to look at a street sign or something.
Why, where are you?
Who have you been talking to?
Oh...yeah, now's not a good time.
I can't, I can't really get into it
I'm actually in the middle of an
interrogation right now.
And you're gonna talk, too!
Ow! What the hell you doin'?
That's just the tip of the iceberg, you
greasy sack of pus!
Sorry.
See, see I'm workin' hard for ya.
Anyway, I should probably get going...
- Leo.
Uh-oh, uh-oh, he's gettin' away!
Hey, get back here!
- Leo!
Oh, you shot my leg!
I, I, I gotta go!
Leo!
Fine!
Sorry, dude...heh.
Gotta keep it authentic.
No worries.
Whatever you do, you gotta
keep her happy, right?
Get her some leads, ya know.
Uh, do you have any clues?
Well, uh...I dunno. Everything
keeps coming back to this guy Horn.
Horn was business partners
with the missing Miles guy.
Horn has a big thug with a gun
working for him.
Oh, and I found, I found this
list in Horn's office.
Wha-what is this?
Clues.
Oh, it's nice that they put
all these clues
in a convenient list form.
What are you talking about?
Well, they might be clues.
I just grabbed this off his desk.
I thought they sounded like video games, maybe.
Arrowpoint, Blaster.
Well, if they are, I've
never heard of them.
You should talk to a geek, ya know,
someone who's super into this stuff.
- Isn't that what I'm doing?
- No, I mean a super-uber-geek, ya know.
I'm just really a part time geek
A weekender, really.
Oh, well for what it's worth
I think you have what it takes
to go full-on geek.
- Thanks.
Ya know, I guess if you work at it.
It's just like anything. Ya gotta work at it.
Hey, I do know a geek.
Nope, these aren't any games
that I know of.
Could Glasskey be making these?
I doubt it. It's a pretty long
list and they've only got one designer.
Miles. But he's some kind of
design genius, isn't he?
That's what they say.
- You don't sound convinced.
- Well, no, he's a genius, sure. Brilliant.
But even Miles Severign couldn't be
designing this many games at once.
- Especially since he's missing.
- Yeah. Yeah, what's going on with that?
Well, I...I can't really discuss the
details of the case.
But let's just say I'm all over it.
Nothing's gettin' past me.
- Did ya dig into Nelson?
- Who?
Nelson. The boss here, remember?
Oh, yeah. Nelson.
Nelson, of course. I, I remember.
I just, I give all my suspects
code names., so...
He's Crimson.
- Oh, that's cool.
- Isn't it?
- Yeah.
Oh, here comes Crimson now.
Well, hello. I see you're back again.
Or maybe you never left.
Ha-ha, that'd be funny if I never left.
left.
If I spent the night here
Going through stuff while everybody was at home.
Which you couldn't prove I did.
Well, there's no need for that, of course.
We're happy to cooperate in any way we can.
We all want Miles to be found.
But this is a place of business, so...
Now if you'll excuse me,
I'm just headed home.
Home?
It's nice to be the boss.
Heading home at 3:00.
Put your feet up.
Maybe a little afternoon delight
with the missus.
That was...
inappropriate.
- My wife is dead.
- It's even more inappropriate.
If there's nothing else...
Well, act, actually there is,
there is something else
if you don't mind. I'm in over my
head here and you said you'd be happy to help.
Mind if I pick your mind for a second 'cuz
you know more about business than I do.
Of course.
Anything I can do.
Well, if Miles doesn't show,
God forbid,
What would happen to his
new company, Glasskey?
Well, that depends on a lot of things.
Yeah, but broad strokes, I mean.
It would be bad for them, of course.
Uh, they have investors.
So it would be bad for the investors.
I suppose it would.
I can only imagine the share
price would drop dramatically
and they'd all lose a
bundle on the sale.
So anybody with a vested interest
in Glasskey
would want Miles to succeed.
So, who wouldn't?
Present company excluded.
Maybe this isn't about business.
There's more to life than money.
That's true. Though it's always
people with a lot of money who say that.
Thanks, Danny.
I'll be in touch.
Yeah, no problem.
Hey, uh, how'd it go with Crimson?
Good.
He was actually kinda helpful.
He hated Miles a lot more
than he's letting on.
Hey, what's the View ID on
the connections manager?
Why?
I need to make sure all the clients
are synchronized.
Just reference the subversion log.
It's faster.
Oh, yeah.
Pfft, who's the new guy?
Ah, that's J- Bird, one of our top guys,
actually.
J-Bird, A-Train, T-Rex,
guys, this is...
Actually, I don't even know your name.
Leo.
With an L.
L... Elephant?
Best I could come up with.
Hey, uh..are you also checking into
that crazy chick who was after Miles?
Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm all over it.
Refresh my memory?
Just some chick. Desperate,
crazy in love with him.
But he wanted nothing to do with her.
She just wouldn't let it go.
Basically stalking the guy.
- Oh, yeah, yeah...
The, the stalker.
Buttersnap, that's her code name.
Of course her real name, is, uh...
- Reese.
- Reese, yes.
Reese?
Hello, Mr. Turdweb.
Hey, Crapdrop, guess what?
It all comes back to Horn again.
I just found out that Horn's daughter,
Reese, was stalking Miles.
Hmmm. I don't know what any
of that means.
But you seem excited, so
I'm happy for you.
It, it means Horn's involved in this
somehow...
And I'm gonna find out how!
Although, I tell ya, I still
don't trust that Nelson guy, either.
Those names don't mean anything to me
and I'm not on the case.
Actually, I'm on my lunch break.
- Break? From what? Dusting?
Nelson is the head of V5.
Really?
Cool, get me some free games...
What shall I ask for?
Uh, Whipwars, definitely
gotta have that one.
TankFace.
Ultimate TankFace 3, of course.
Are you getting this?
- Yeah, yeah. Woopie Face 3.
Now listen.
You're on the case, as of now.
Because I found out that
Nelson's wife is dead.
So I need you to Google around on
your Internet machine.
See if you can figure out how she died.
Was it anything suspicious.
Because I'm getting a bad vibe from this guy.
Uh-huh, TankFace 3,
not Woopie Face.
Alright, so Nelson?
That right?
V5.
Any other details?
- No, that's all I got.
Gah, this is disgusting.
What do you wash your dishes with?
Margarine?
Just get a bottle of water
out of the fridge.
Just see what you can find out for now.
and then call me back.
I gotta go.
I just had an idea.
Ah, how am I gettin' paid,anyway?
Since I'm on the case.
You got any bottles of water?
You got any big bottles?
Hey, Jake!
Did you...
wax your legs?
- Can I help you?
Oh, great. Thanks.
Ugh, that thing must be 300 pounds.
It's like carrying an adult pig on your neck.
Could you...put it on the floor
or something?
Yeah, could you give me a second?
You heard me say it was heavy, right?
Oh, hey I'm looking for Reese
Horn's office. Is that around here?
- End of the hall, on the left.
- Great. Okay...
Well, hey, you can't leave this here.
I'll tell Reese where it is.
She'll come get it.
Hey, Reese.
Remember me?
Oh, yeah. Tough guy.
You back to fight security again?
Yeah, these are my fighting shorts.
Hey, uh, you wanna grab a coffee?
No.
But you can buy me a drink.
Um, you...you seemed pretty upset
when you heard that miles was missing.
I know.
I understand I made a bit of a scene.
Daddy was very embarrassed.
I know he was embarrassed because he
told me a hundred times.
What's your, uh, relationship with Miles?
If you don't mind me asking.
Depends on why you're asking.
I just...his sister wants me to find him.
She's kinda worried about him.
Oh, really?
Miles doesn't have a sister.
So who's the slut that's
looking for him?
Well, she's not a slut.
Oh, you're pretty quick to defend
her honor. Is she your girl?
No.
- You wish she was your girl.
- Pfft. No.
Right. I don't think we'll be seeing you winning
any awards for acting anytime soon.
You don't know that.
And now you're...you're just gonna
fire up a ciggy in here?
Like it's 1952?
And nobody's ever heard of the law.
Or emphysema.
You would make a terrific nun.
Hey.
- What?
Your matches...have a striking
strip on the front. That is wild.
Normally, for safety reasons, the strip's
supposed to be on the back.
Wow, you are really hung up on rules.
No, it's just that I haven't seen this
since like the 70s.
Where'd you find these?
Nevermind where I found them.
It doesn't matter.
Okay, I'm just sayin'...
Who cares about matches?
You know, I'm tired of
your snooping around.
And I need to get back to work.
So...
MATCHCO MATCH COMPANY
Matchco, the match company.
Phyllis, it's Leo from Boffo.
Oh, heya Leo.
How you doin'?
Did you get that catalog I sent ya?
It's got some pretty cool
stuff in it, huh?
Well, matches mostly.
Yeah, but new styles.
Not really.
- Not really, no.
Phyllis, I'm calling with a question.
Suppose I had a client who wanted
to order some match books
but he wanted to have the striking strip
on the front of the matches.
What, does he have a death wish?
Now, um, Phyllis, it's not...
That's not safe! Well, it's just a hypothetical.
I don't actually...
One wrong spark and that
whole book lights up.
Now Phyllis, there isn't really...
You have to talk him out of it, Leo!
He won't listen. He's a crazy
thrill-seeking daredevil from a circus.
So just answer the question.
Does anybody still make matches like that?
Not in this country, thank God.
Hmmm...I saw a pack today.
Where would those have come from?
Best guess: China.
And...Voil!
Want a room?
Good lord, no.
I mean...yes.
What I mean is...
um, I'm, I'm supposed to
get a room in the same hotel
as a buddy of mine is in,
I don't, not sure that this is the
same hotel he's at.
Do you have a Miles Severeign
staying here?
Oh, we don't give out names of guests.
That's a good policy.
I could tell right away this was
a security-first type establishment.
So, how about I, uh, just say his name.
You nod or shake your head. okay.
Miles Severeign.
- You got a warrant?
Yes.
Good, let's see it.
I lost it.
No warrant, no search.
Wa-wait a minute.
You think I'm a cop?
Is that what this is?
That's a riot.
Cop, indeed.
No, my friend, I am no cop.
In fact, I'm supposed to meet
a guy here to smoke some crack.
His name is Miles Severeign.
Is he in, or...?
Piss off.
A regular dog, please.
No.
C'mon, Alice.
No, I can't give you a list of
new businesses.
You did it for me before.
Three years ago and we were dating.
Why would I do it now?
Because you...
feel guilty for dumping me.
No...I feel good about that.
That was a good move.
You're in denial.
The only reason you want a list
of all the new businesses is so
you can be the first one to
go and peddle your novelty crap.
Ah! it's not novelty crap. it's
specialty crap.
And-and this is a much better cause.
This time you cold be saving
a life.
or stopping a crime or
ending a communist uprising.
I am so sure.
This is important, Alice.
I just need to know what you have
on a new company called Glasskey.
I'll owe you a favor.
- great,
so if I need my name on a swizzle stick,
you'll hook me up.
I could make that happen.
If I do this, will you go away?
I could make that happen.
Okay, here is the list
of all the new businesses
that registered in the city
in the past year.
What's the...name of the one
you're looking for?
Glasskey.
It's a video game company.
I just need to know who owns it.
- Here it is: Glasskey Gaming Inc.
Owners: various. They had an IPO
two months ago.
Oh, interesting.
What's an IPO?
Initial Public offering.
It went public.
Shares trading on
a stock exchange.
Okay, uh...
Well, who runs the company?
Directors. Two directors:
Miles Severeign, Terence Horn.
And, and that's it?
Is there any other info on that sheet?
Why don't you just look for yourself? And please
get out of here before you get me in trouble.
Thanks, Alice.
As of this moment, I forgive you.
- Forgive what?
You're welcome.
What? What the hell?
Oh, that's some lovely phone etiquette,
young man.
Well, you scared...my guns full, ya jerk!
I'm on a stake out, you know!
Jerk?
You asked me to call you.
Oh yeah. Well, did you find out anything
about Nelson's wife?
Yeah, I found an old news story
from a couple of years ago.
She was killed in a
hit-and-run.
- Hit-and-run?
Yup.
She was, uh, crossing the street
in front of the V5 office building.
Yikes.
Was, uh, Nelson ever a suspect?
No, couldn't be.
He was in the V5 building at the time.
She dropped in to see him, and then
uh, she crossed the street...bam.
No suspects. Never solved. Does that help?
- Oh yeah, clears the whole thing right up.
Well, hey, listen, uh, grab me some
onion rings, will ya? To go.
Bring them by the house.
- Onion rings?
Yeah, what steakhouse you at?
Stake OUT, ya bonehead.
Like Emelio Estevez.
I'm watching this, uh, old hotel.
I think Miles might be staying
in it.
But I don't know why.
Oh, I found out some, uh, information
about his new company.
It's not much, but...
it says "Glasskey Gaming Inc."
There's two directors:
Miles and Horn.
Uh, the company had an IPO.
Now, IPO stands for...
- Initial Public offering.
Stock is offered public on the stock exchange.
Well...
it's more complicated than that.
but in layman's terms, yeah.
Well, alright.
See you later.
Enjoy your stakeout.
Don't do anything stupid, stupid.
Hang on, what's this?
I don't know.
I can't see what you're seeing.
That's not how phones work.
It says Arrowpoint...
Arrowpoint...
Uh, I'm looking at this list of
new businesses...
There's an Arrowpoint
Holdings on here.
Arrowpoint was on that list that
I showed you.
Oh, okay then.
Enjoy your fat steak.
- Hang on, hang on...
Blaster.
Blaster Holdings.
Coldriver.
Coldriver Holdings.
They're all on here.
This is a list of
new businesses.
And they're all "holding" companies.
What does that mean, Mr. IPO?
Mr. "I've got nothing to do all day but
watch the Business News Network"?
Uh, just that.
It's a holding company.
It doesn't really do business.
It just holds stuff.
Holds what?
- Assets, real estate, stocks.
Stocks? Like shares...
Interesting.
Okay, uh, I better
get back at this.
I'll talk to ya later.
- Okay, onion rings.
Oh! Holy Crap! That's the bug guy.
Holy crap!
Okay, here we go!
Don't do anything stupid, Stupid.
Oh.
Well, if it isn't Mr Private Eye.
Well, if it isn't Mr Huge Intimidating
Guy with a Gun.
I don't have a gun.
Your girlfriend stole it.
Well, I don't have a girlfriend.
So we're both wrong.
Let's just leave it there,
call it a night.
Have a seat.
There's a guy down here
on a pool of blood.
Oh, not good, not good. I thought it was not
good before. This is way more not good.
Oh, are you calling an ambulance?
Yeah, that's what I'm doing.
Hey, it's me.
Yeah, Miles is dead.
That's Miles?
Oh, this is terrible!
I mean it's good that I found him.
I wasn't sure I'd be able to, but...
still, not good...
That private eye is here.
I've got the situation contained.
In fact, maybe the best thing
is to leave two bodies here.
No, no. One-one's plenty.
One's too many.
- No, we're not doing that.
Why not?
Because we don't know
what he knows.
Or what he's already
told someone else.
- Bring him to the boat.
The boat? Right away.
We're going for a ride.
Are we? You seem pretty confident
for a guy who
just told me he doesn't have a gun.
Especially, considering...
I do!
If you have a gun, I'm going
to take it from you.
And shove it up your ass.
Sideways.
Oh, are you?
Well, it's a good thing I'm
bluffing then, isn't it?
Ow! You're pinching the fatty
part of my neck.
Where are you taking me?
- To the movies.
-And then dinner, and drinks.
You wish.
Well, will you look at that.
It's our old pal from the bar.
I told you we'd bump into
you again.
Where's your girlfriend?
Or is this him?
Who are these two clowns?
Your boyfriends?
You're all gonna play the gay card?
Real mature.
Keep walking.
Oh, whoa, whoa.
What's the hurry?
Well, uh, I know, uh, I'm in a hurry
to see my big buddy here kick your heads in.
Shut up.
Yeah, whe-when i told him what jerks you
were in the bar, he wanted to
come down here and find you guys.
- Is that so?
yeah, yeah...
he told me just to stand
back and watch
because he was gonna
kick both your asses by himself,
just to make some kind of
heterosexual point or something.
Well, we're right here, big man.
- You okay?
Geez!
- Is this a Chevette?
Don't do that! Don't - I just...
I ran half a block.
- What are you running from?
This place.
That big thug that you beat up
behind the restaurant was back there.
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- Oh, please...
I, I saw you through the bathroom window
when i was peeing.
Well, not when I was peeing,
but right after.
Oh, and by the way, I know you're not Miles'
sister because Miles didn't have a sister.
Which makes it easier for me to tell ya -
he's dead.
Miles is dead?
Yeah, he lying on the floor of that crappy hotel
back there with his brains bashed in.
Bashed out, actually.
All over the rug.
Which was a pretty gross rug to
begin with.Now it's extra gross.
- Who killed him?
I don't know at this point.
Oh my God, you killed him.
- I didn't kill him.
You killed your own brother.
You just said he wasn't
my bother.
Oh yeah. I for-I forgot...this is very
confusing and upsetting.
I just saw brains on a carpet.
I'm not a killer, okay?
I'm...
- I'm a thief.
- Oh, well that's much better.
It, it is, actually.
Quite a bit, better.
So, who killed Miles?
Did Church kill him?
Who's Church?
The-the guy I fought in the alley.
You know his name? Wha...
What are you guy in some kind of
super-villain fraternity or something?
He's a crooked copy.
At least, he used to be.
Crooked cop.
I already didn't like him.
Now he's even more...
We need to go back to the hotel.
No.
We need to go to the police.
For the hundredth time, Leo.
We are not going to the police.
Yes, we are.
If you saw me fight Church, you know
I have his gun.
so I am calling the shots.
Yeah, but you already said you're not a killer,
so I know you're not going to kill me.
I could give you a permanent limp.
I don't walk that much anyway.
I could make it so you eat nothing but soup
for the next two years!
Damn. How'd you know my weak spot was food?
Lucky guess.
Plus, there's about two dozen burger wrappers
on the floor of your car.
Oh, please.
There's maybe eight.
Back to the hotel.
It's clear.
Good.
Because I don't wanna...
Oh, he's right-he's right there...
That's not clear at all.
I meant it's clear of Church.
Oh, I just-I wasn't clear what
you meant by clear.
What are you looking for?
A laptop.
Or an external hard drive.
Is that what you want to steal?
- Maybe.
Yeah, by all means, keep me in the dark.
It's not like I'm involved.
Ghk! Another comic book nerd. Do you
want to steal these so that you can...
Wait a minute...that comic book in
your motel. That was Miles'
You stole Miles' comic book!
What, are you gonna tell the teacher?
I already told you I was a thief.
I went to Miles' office, he wasn't there.
So I cracked his safe.to see what
was in it.
As anyone would.
The comic book and all that stuff
was in there.
Well, why would you steal that?
Because it was in plastic,
which means it's valuable.
Unbelievable.
That's a very rare rookie card.
That license plate probably isn't even
from a real movie, is it?
How should I know?
Your're a thief and a fibber
I know.
Shameful.
You know, a lot of these, uh, hotels have
Bibles in the night stands.
Why don't you steal one of those
and read it, ya sinner.
What's that?
I dunno.
It says "DDAYSPM".
Maybe it's a password.
Well, the hard drive's obviously not here.
Which means Church took it when he killed Miles.
We have to find Church.
Well, I know who he works for...
but it's doubtful they're kickin'
around the office this time of night.
Wait a minute.
Church said something on the phone...
He said:
"the boat, right away".
What boat?
He forgot to fill me in.
There's like 5,000 boats
moored around the city.
Follow me.
URBAN WELL MARINA
I saw this place in a photo in his office.
In whose office?
Your big ugly buddy.
He's working for
the head of the video game
company.
What?
That son-of-a-bitch was setting me up.
What? Who-who's setting you up?
Horn?
- Who?
Horn, the head of Glasskey.
Right.
And you figured him and
Church are here?
Yeah, maybe.
What's this about a setup?
We just have to be very careful.
Oh yeah, good point.
Okay, uh, you go ahead and I'll wait here.
You're just going to sit here and think
about what your favorite soup is?
See, first you say "be careful"
and then violent threats.
I'm getting mixed signals from you.
Which boat is his?
I don't know.
I'm-I'm trying to remember the photograph.
It had a sail on it, I think.
Very helpful.
Was it boat-shaped?
I believe it was.
Oh, ooh-ohh-ooh,
Is that him?
Yeah, that's him. That's Horn.
I have to see if he has the hard drive.
You wait here.
No, thank you.
I'm waiting here...oh.
She must...go to the gym.
Oh, no!
Who the hell is that?
- This is the one I was telling you about.
The thief who's working
with the detective
What exactly are you trying to steal?
I think you can guess.
Why don't you save us a little time
and tell us?
Why don't you save me the trouble of
kicking your teeth in
and let her go?
This is beautiful.
You're even stupider than I thought.
- Yeah, well thoughts probably aren't your strong suit.
You're becoming more annoying every day.
- I know. Kyra's gonna be annoyed with me, too.
Because I called the cops.
Sorry.
Bravo, Leo,
But you didn't think this through.
They're going to kill both of us.
before the cops get here.
I'm betting they won't.
So far they're just a con man
and a goon for hire.
That doesn't carry the same
sentence as murder.
But they're already guilty
of one murder.
I don't think they are.
Am I right, Horn?
This whole thing got way out of hand.
But I didn't kill anybody
and neither did Church.
I bet you don't even have the hard drive
either, do ya?
If you did, you wouldn't have
asked Kyra what she was here to steal.
If i did have the hard drive, I'd be
tempted to kill you both.
- But you don't have it, right?
Sadly, no.
So, what, that's it?
We're just gonna wait here for the cops?
What do you suggest, Church?
We have a boat and two hostages.
They'll have to let us go.
Where are you gonna go? Tell me!
Where do you wanna go, Church?
The States?
Mexico?
I'm not spending the rest of
my life on the run.
Then this is where we
say so long, Horn.
Nice working with ya,
but I'll be takin' your boat.
And I'm taking your girlfriend for insurance.
She's not my girlfriend!
Did you say you were my girlfriend?
She can't say much right now
She's busy blackin' out.
- Let her go!
You guys better get off the boat.
She just might get to breathe in
the next couple minutes.
Horn, move!
Have a good sleep.
Come on...
You gotta be kidding me.
Kyra.
Kyra.
Nice.
Kyra!
Kyra, if your conscious,
I need you to go up top and beat
the snot out of Church again, okay.
Okay, okay you rest.
I'll go get killed.
Okay, turn around.
Very good.
Now turn the boat around.
I said turn the boat around.
If you have to turn around so
you can turn the boat around, I'll allow that.
I told you before, if you had a gun
I was going to shove it up your ass
Yeah, but you don't wanna do that.
This is your gun.
I have to have it cleaned anyway.
Your girlfriend took it in the water.
It's too wet to work.
- Oh, is that a fact?
Well, it just so happens I was down
in the cabin
drying it in the microwave.
So it's good to go, my friend.
I'm gonna make you prove it.
Well, if that's the way you want...
Kyra! Are you okay?
Are you okay? Can you walk?
- I'll try
Okay, hang on.
Okay.
Yeah, I see-I see him.
Does he see me?
POLICE
Hey, big fella.
How's your head?
You probably don't even remember
me punching ya.
I gave you one quick pop in the yapper
and you went out like a newborn.
Actually, your lucky I hit you with this one,
because this one woulda totally...
This is the police!
Come out port side with your hands in the air.
Ach, you know, this
is a quality phone!
The Velex 2000 series.
The letters are thermal raised,
The ring is double spun,
The body is polystyrene.
So it floats.
Oh, it must be the 1000 series.
My office is on Pender
and I'm there almost every weekday.
They arrested Horn and Church.
How come they didn't arrest me?
Oh, yeah. I forgot to
tell them about you.
Oh well, no rush.
It's not like you're gonna kill anybody.
How did you know they didn't
kill Miles?
Because I think I figured out
who did.
Who?
Well, at first I thought it was Nelson.
Because Nelson had all
the motive in the world.
He had a big fight with Miles,
Nelson hated Miles for
leaving the company.
And he hated him for starting
a rival company.
So, how do you know he didn't do it?
Because if Nelson wanted Miles dead,
he would have hired a killer,
instead of a thief.
I'm imagining you in a red corvette.
That's pure speculation on my part.
You mean you knew?
Hang on, now I'm imagining
you in a tube top.
You were on to me the whole time!
Hardly. I didnt know anybody hired
you for anything.
Until tonight - when I said something about the
head of the video game company...
Son of a bitch set me up.
Who? Horn?
When I sad the name Horn,
you acted like that was the video game
guy you were talking about.
Is that him?
But, you didn't know him. So...
It must have been Nelson.
Hmmm, aren't you smart?
Always said smart on
my report cards.
Usually followed by the
words "ass" or "mouth".
So, if Horn didn't want Miles dead, then
what was all the cloak and dagger?
Fraud.
I think Horn was screwing
over his investors.And I think
Miles was in on it with him.
And in one year from now, we're all
gonna be a lot richer.
See, Horn got everybody
all jacked up
with this exciting new video game
that Miles was developing.
Then, they issue an IPO.
And IPO means Initial Pub...
- I know what an IPO means, okay.
- What moron doesn't know what an IPO is?
Anyway...
The stock was red hot and
everybody bought in.
And then they staged Miles'
disappearance.
He even made it look like he mighta been hurt.
He wasn't there and it looked like his place
had been trashed.
No Miles, no game.
Everybody wants to sell their stock, and
the share price plummets.
So how does that help
Miles and Horn?
They buy all the stock back at
the deflated price.
Only that would look suspicious, right?
So they did it through
separate holding companies.
Arrowpoint, Blaster, Coldriver.
And then suddenly Miles reappears,
the stock prices sky rocket,
and they make a fortune.
Yeah, that was their plan.
Only, miles failed to reappear.
Well, in any useful way.
I still don't get who killed him.
Alright, okay...
I'm gettin' to that.
Geez, I go though this
whole rigamarol...
Give me that little moment at the end
where I get to say how I solved it.
Anyway, through the course of my
in-depth investigation,
I kept having conversations with
this guy named Danny.
Nelson really hated Miles.
Nelson hates Miles
more than he's letting on.
He was super-keen to load me up
with a bunch of different suspects.
Check out this crazy chick
who's stalking Miles.
But the kicker was when we found
that note in Miles' hotel room...
DDAYSPM.
Dos that mean anything?
I didn't get it at first, but earlier
in the day,
Danny had introduced me to
some of his co-workers.
J-Bird, A-Train, T-Rex.
I spent all day tryin' to come up
with a nickname like that for my name.
L...
Ella Fitzgerald.
L...
Eleanor Rigby.
I think that's why it dawned on me later.
That note didn't say DDAY, it said:
D- Day. J- Bird, T- Rex, D- Day.
Danny.
When I looked at it like that,
then the SPM kinda stood apart.
and I realized it's not an S,
it's a 5.
D- Day Danny was coming to
Miles' hotel room at 5PM.
What for?
I think that Danny was doing
all Miles design and
computer programming for him.
See, earlier, Danny went out of his
way to kinda downplay his abilities.
I'm Danny, I'm just a junior
programmer.
But it was obvious he was their
best programmer.
No, the gibson gibble is the blander fandele.
and the happa glapa is the skibpy doo.
Or...words to that effect.
Why would Danny do all that work
for no credit?
Well, uh, I don't think he had
any choice.
See, once I figured out that you stole
all that stuff from Miles' safe,
- I told you I stole it.
Regardless...
It got me thinkin'...
comic books could be valuable,
sports memorabilia could be valuable,
but...
when is a license plate valuable?
Nelson's wife was killed in a hit-and-run
outside V5.
They never caught who did it.
Well, it's valuable...
if used in blackmail.
I bet if we give that license
plate to the cops
They run the number, they find
out it's registered to Danny.
I'm not going to the cops.
Ah...maybe you should look around.
I'm a thief.
I can't get tied to this.
Well, I know that, but maybe,
you know, maybe if you laid low.
Leo, you know where the license
plate is. I have to disappear.
Well, maybe you could disappear
for a-a little while
and then,
later you could come back and...
And just like that, she was gone.
Sometimes, to this day,
when the wind blows...
I can still smell
her perfume in the air.
What do you mean "to this day"?
Didn't this all go down last night?
I was being poetic.
More like "pathetic",
It's just been a couple hours
you can probably still smell her
perfume on your shirt.
Maybe. She made me miss laundry night.
Yeah, so the, uh, woman I told you about
said the license plate was in here.
And why would she tell this to you?
She raises a good question.
Well, I, uh, I don't know exactly why...
I think maybe she came into my
office by mistake.
See, there's, uh, a private detective's office
on the same floor as mine, so...
And what is it you do?
Oh, he sells foamy beer hats
and fobby whatnots
- Who are you?
Oh, this is Ernie.
He's unemployable due to
mental shortcomings.
Which is probably why he as
all those unpaid parking tickets.
Or did you pay those?
No, not yet?
Here it is.
Oh, look at that.
Uh, I think, if I remember...
She also said there was a hockey card
and a comic book or something.
Down there, if I, if I remember
correctly from our brief encounter.
Nope, just this.
Ah, well my mistake.
Curse World was
my design.
And I had to just shut up
and watch him take all the credit for it.
And he was forcing me to create
his next game, too.
So you went to his hotel,
and instead of doing his work,
you killed him.
What?
Miles is dead?
It's a little late for that, pal.
- No, no, no...what, I...
I, I did not...
I did not kill him.
Danny Carwin, you are under arrest
for the murder of Miles Severeign.
No, no, no, no...
I thought this was about the hit a run,...
I didn't kill Miles!
This was...No, no please, no!
I did not...
I did not do this.
Please, please this is a mistake.
Hi, tough guy.
Reese.what are you...
How did you know where I work?
Oh, I was kind of a bad girl.
I followed you back here once.
Why?
I don't know. You just intrigue me, I guess.
Oh, well, that's very flattering, but
look, I'm twice your age.
- You're funny.
And, yes, I'm funny.
I'm probably a hell of a lot of fun
to be around, but, uh, still...
I'm not attracted to you, silly.
I was interested because you
were asking a lot of questions.
You scared me with those matches.
You knew I was at Miles' hotel,
didn't you?
Um...no.
Who's Miles?
You're a nut. A nosy little nut who squirrelled
his way into somewhere where he did not belong.
Whoa, whoa, whoa...where's everybody
gettin' guns? This is Canada!
I got this off Miles.
He carried it around because
he was
afraid someone was gonna
try and kill him at work.
Guess he wasn't worried about me, though.
- You killed Miles.
He hurt my feelings!
Oh, well fair's fair. Even Steven.
Back to work, everybody.
Not yet.
You know about me and the matches...
No, no...
I don't know anything!
Plus I'm forgetful.
It's Barbara, right? Brenda?
See, I couldn't even tell the police
if I wanted to.
Which I don't! P.S.
I have to be sure.
Who the hell are you?
Is this your slutty girlfriend?
You told her I was your girlfriend?
No, uh, I didn't.
She said that I was.
I mean that you was...were.
She lies!
And plus, she killed Miles.
You told her I was a slut?
I told her you were not a slut.
I defended your honor!
- that's true.
He did defend your honor.
- Shut up!
Well, I guess you better call
the cops.
I keep telling you
we can't go to the police!
Wait, you keep
telling me.
Call them.
Make sure that other kid doesn't
get locked up for two killings.
Oh, yeah.
9-1-1, what's your emergency?
Hello, yeah...
uh, somebody just tried to shoot me.
With a gun. And I think she killed
somebody else, too.
So could you send somebody
over, right away?
Am I supposed to stay on the line, or...
They'll call back.
Wow, Leo, you almost had this whole thing
figured out.
Except for one little detail,
the... killer,
but that's not important.
Yeah, I, I caught a different killer.
- Yeah, not bad.
And if you wanted to, you could
actually become a real detective.
Wait a minute!
Well, if you knew,
why did you hire me?
I don't know.
There was something about your face
that said "here's a man I could
easily manipulate."
Oh, really? Well, it was
my face that made you think that,
so who's manipulating who?
And then I thought maybe it
would be better to hire
someone who wasn't a detective.
less chance of them catching on to
what I was doing.
So you decided to stay with the, uh,
stoogy dope the whole way.
Except, you weren't as stoogy or
dopey as I thought.
Well, you are pretty stoogy,
but not dopey.
Yeah, I, I walk a fine line.
So...
Here we are.
I, uh, I didn't expect to see ya
again so soon.
I mean, I'm not complaining.
Your timing was fantastic.
Yeah, and to be honest, I didn't
expect to see you either.
I dropped the money in the mail slot,
and then I thought,
You should probably have these, too.
I'm getting out of the thief business.
Wow. Well, that's great!
Good for you.
That's very cool.
So, uh...what are your...plans?
Ah, dammit.
Damn what?
Oh, nothing. I...
I just...I bit my tongue.
Dammit. Damn my fat tongue.
You thought I left. Didn't you?
- No, I, I didn't.
Yes, you did.
I didn't care, one way or the other.
- You're a terrible liar.
I don't think I'm a
terrible liar.
I'm probably just not as
practiced at it as you are.
Now who's calling?
It's probably 9-1-1, pick it up.
Oh yeah, right!
Yello?