No Pressure (2024) Movie Script
1
["I love Love" by Henrik Lars Wikstrm
& Anders Johan Greger Lewen playing]
Ooh
I love love
More than the sun and the moon now
Ah, ah, ah
More than the sky and the stars shine
They shine so bright indeed
I need my baby
I love love
More than the sound of the ocean
More than
Service please!
And I'm there for you
Maciek, get back to work.
Rookie! Dishes!
Yes, Chef!
Hurry up, or all of this will get burnt.
Mmm.
Oliwia!
Oliwia! Someone called for you.
For me?
Tell them I can't get to the phone.
Come on, Oliwia, he says
it's a matter of life and death.
Please take it. This guy won't give up.
Hello? Oliwia Madej, you called for me?
[customer] We're actually
in a bit of a rush.
You're kidding.
[glass shattering]
We're screwed.
- What am I supposed to do?
- It's only two days.
I need to say goodbye to my grandma.
It's all the same.
It's the height of the season,
and you're abandoning me.
And while we're opening a new location.
Finishing the menu.
Robert.
You know I have no other option.
I've gotta go there.
It's her funeral.
Who am I supposed to do it with? Them?
[exhales]
Two days is fine.
I won't go looking for anyone
to replace you.
For two days.
[car disarm beeps]
[Oliwia] Hi, I'm Oliwia.
But you know that already.
Mom chose this name for me
to spite Grandma.
Grandma would have preferred something
more traditional, like her name, Halina.
They were always fighting.
And at some point,
they just stopped talking to each other.
- That's my bad!
- [man] Watch it!
[Oliwia] Crazy Grandma Halina
and crazy Mommy.
So, I guess crazy runs in the family.
Mom went on a trip
to the other side of the world again,
and she turned off her phone.
Thanks for your support, Mommy.
Bodki. Podlasie.
How I used to love coming here.
One time, me and some local kids
got drunk on fermented cherries.
I thought Grandma would strangle me.
I got my cooking talent from her.
Mom says that's also
where I got my hot temper.
Life is short.
You never know when your time come.
[horn blaring]
Jesus Christ.
I killed him. Oh my God.
Am ambulance.
[phone ringing]
- [man on phone] Hello?
- Hello?
- Emergency operator. How can I help you?
- Hello?
Hello?
- [man grunts]
- [man on phone] Can you hear me?
Oh, you.
Do you know how long it took me
to get here from Wrocaw?
[sighs]
[man grunts]
[man chuckles]
Be careful. You almost killed me!
I almost did?
That sign should've been up
way before the bridge!
Do you big city folk
know how to say "I'm sorry?"
"I'm sorry?" "I'm sorry?"
Don't you dare tell me to apologize
when you're the one
that jumped in front of my car!
What're you doing?
What's going on?
I'm just about to take a break for lunch.
Ah Taking a break?
A lunch break.
[Oliwia gasps]
[exhaling]
[man] Want a sandwich?
Unbelievable.
- Unbelievable.
- Completely organic.
I can cut my break short.
Just ask me politely.
[car engine starts]
"I'm sorry" would've been easier.
[Oliwia] All right,
patience is not my strong suit.
[upbeat music playing]
NO PRESSURE
[car engine revving]
[Oliwia] I missed a lot of things,
but not this.
Welcome to Bodki!
There's no place like it
anywhere in the world.
Believe me.
I swear,
this is the literal middle of nowhere.
Okay, Oliwia. Get a grip.
I'll be elegant for you, Grandma.
Really.
I won't embarrass you.
The heiress has arrived.
[cow mooing]
Oh, I'm on your lawn.
My apologies.
[Oliwia] You can do it, Oliwia.
You'll manage.
You always do.
[music fades out]
My name is Jan.
- I'm the one you spoke with on the phone.
- Nice to meet you.
Can I please see my grandma?
[woman singing]
Oh, it's such a sad end
This final hour
That thankless little wretch
[door closes]
Running around town
There's no place better in the world
Than our country
Even God is weeping
Because a new soul comes to Him
Another mortal soul
So many things I never got to say to you.
Brought to Him in vain
I wasn't by your side. I'm so sorry.
Do I really have to die
in order to hear that from you?
[Oliwia screaming]
- Oliwia!
- [door opens]
Oliwia!
Oliwia!
What the hell is this?
I had to find out
if you'd be sad to see me go.
You'd have to be a sick, horrible person
to try pulling that.
What's wrong with you all?
Would you have come
if you never got that call?
Yeah, would you?
- I think she wouldn't.
- She wouldn't bother!
You wouldn't.
Aren't you ashamed to do something
like this? You're adults. Act your age.
- We did it for Halina, though.
- Right! Us girls have to stick together.
- And guys.
- [Halina chuckles]
Wish you'd been here for the nativity.
Now that was a pretty good show!
It drove a lot of traffic
into the town, huh?
- No, this can't be happening.
- Yeah.
We also sing church services every year.
And because our voices are so pretty,
we were able to borrow the coffin
from the priest.
[woman] The Housewives Club.
Girls of power.
- The Cuckoos!
- The Cuckoos!
- [all laugh]
- Are you having fun?
I've been alone here with the hens,
the goats Everything's falling apart.
I had to find a way
to get you to come help.
I waited for so long.
[inhales]
Let's not waste time.
I'm getting older, my dear. You know this.
We can't waste time
Let's not waste t
time
And I was missing my grandmother
when I needed her.
Where were you then Halina?
[melancholy music playing]
[sniffles]
How could she?
Always gotta have her own way!
Halina!
[electrical buzzing]
[engine puttering]
[Halina laughs]
A marten ate your cables.
Hey, come on, pull yourself together!
Grandma, how could you lie like that?
Oh, calm down, Oliwia, please.
We're gonna tow your car outta there
and get something good to eat, huh?
[Oliwia scoffs]
Well?
Sun's going down.
The wolves usually roam around here
when it gets dark.
Do I still look five years old?
[melancholy music continues]
[Oliwia] Hmm.
[Halina laughs]
You'll get used to that in no time.
I'm not gonna have the chance.
I feel bad about the funeral,
and I'm sorry.
I've been going nuts with everything
that's been happening around here.
You can save me and get me through this.
No, no, no. Don't even try.
It was your mother
that turned you against me.
So you remember that we're family, do you?
When you need my help with something?
[goats bleating]
Come on.
Hey. [chuckles]
[Halina] Ah.
Come on, eat. Eat, Louise.
Eat, eat.
[Halina laughs]
There, there!
And, Thelma, don't be rude.
Stop stealing from your sister, yeah?
Well, I'm glad you can at least
take care of your goats, I guess.
[chuckles]
I've fallen into debt due to some
[goats bleating]
tycoon.
Herb guy, local plantation owner.
And he took me all the way to court.
[Halina] You've gotta help me.
Calm down.
He sicced the health department on me.
They banned me from making cheese.
Well, you could always just retire.
Oh! That's absolutely
how I thought about it.
A bit more youth around here.
And one day this will all be yours.
Put it up for sale.
This isn't just some piece of land to me.
When you were younger,
you also used to love this place.
- [horse neighs]
- Dumpling
when I bought him for you,
he was still just a colt.
[Dumpling neighs]
You kept his name the same.
[inhales deeply]
Together, we can make this work,
sweetheart.
[Halina sighs]
I have to go back home.
[sad music playing]
[goat bleats]
[goat bleats]
Seriously?
[goat bleats]
I just bought these!
[sad music continues]
[groans]
Dumpling!
- [Dumpling neighs]
- Why so early?
[sighs]
- [goat bleating]
- Hey!
Get out of there!
Hello?
Hey! Get lost.
Halina!
[Halina's voice] Make sure the little ones
all get three meals per day.
They need to be milked once
in the morning and once in the evening.
If you need help, go grab Wojtek,
he helps me out around the farm.
His house is at the end
of the village, number 15.
If you really want to,
you can sell your grandma's land.
I put everything in your name.
The documents are on the trunk.
That's everything.
Halina.
Hey! Put that down!
- [goat bleating]
- Leave it.
Leave it!
NOTARY DEED
[phone thuds]
Hey, hey. That's my phone. Give it back.
[man] Why are you so stubborn, man?
How many times do I have to tell you
that plum mash is too sour?
Mm-hmm.
My grandfather used
to make plum moonshine.
- But...
- So did my daddy.
So I'm stickin' to plums too.
[man gasps]
Mornin'.
Oh, we've got Halina's granddaughter here.
Hi there, gentlemen.
I'm looking for Halina?
Ha! She called us gentlemen,
that's rich but
- No, we don't know where she is.
- Haven't seen.
[man] Listen we gotta make the
mash using apples, okay?
People need some sweetness in their lives,
and the apples I'm growing
are one of a kind.
Over my dead body!
You're more stubborn than a dirty mule,
just like your father.
- What?
- Yeah!
You gotta lotta nerve
callin' my father a mule.
- Yeah! Let's go!
- Ooh, you
- Guys, please!
- Back to work.
It sounds like your skinning
someone alive.
Chill out.
- He's filled with rage.
- Back to work now.
Dumb and dumber. Please.
Can we please go one day
without all of this?
No, because I have to stare
into his ugly mug every day.
And I gotta look at yours. I survive.
Alright, hold up.
Have any of you seen Halina?
Let's go. Let's go.
- God bless.
- Yoo-hoo. Come on.
Is this act two of your show?
What's going on?
- Calling my father a mule?
- Oh, shut up.
Hello.
- Shove those apples up your ass.
- You're fighting over moonshine again?
Hello?
Good morning.
Good morning.
[laughing]
Well
No wonder my grandma's farm
is completely falling apart,
since she's got you working for her.
[man laughs]
Halina is your grandmother?
I'm here because I need help.
Would you just help me
out a little, Wojtek?
Oh, Wojtek.
Uh, yes, I'm Wojtek, and you are
Oliwia.
Well, you got style, Oliwia.
[scoffs]
The car's over here.
Can you take care of the animals?
I bet we'll see her at dinner tonight.
[cow moos]
Do you know what's going on between
Halina and some herb tycoon?
[brakes screech]
[ducks honking and chirping]
[engine turns off]
Hey!
[goats bleating]
I can't handle this alone.
You're making this so difficult.
Hey!
That's mine, okay?
Thank you.
[dog barking]
- What's up, dude?
- [dog whimpers]
C'mon.
[Dumpling neighing]
She's in labor.
[goat bleating]
[goat bleating]
I'm gonna help you.
- Hold her by the horns.
- What?
Hold her by the horns.
How?
Right there.
- [goat whines]
- Ready?
You're completely sure about this?
[sentimental music playing]
[goat bleating]
[baby goat bleating]
[baby goat bleating]
She's so cute.
Look at that.
[exhales]
Hey.
Such a cutie.
Welcome to Bodki, little guy.
Just relax.
No, no, no. Leave it.
Her mother's gotta lick it off.
[goats bleating]
Look how excited they are.
[baby goat bleating]
That means they're hungry.
So you'll milk all of them.
What?
I don't know how to milk.
Isn't Halina your grandma?
Hmm.
[Oliwia] Thank you.
Of course.
Uh, what are you gonna do
with all that milk?
Take it to a dairy.
[Oliwia chuckles]
I'll fix it for you tonight.
I just have to go get some parts.
Well, I've gotta be back at work tomorrow.
Are you really
[grunts]
gonna leave, even if Halina's not here?
You'll take care of everything.
[grunts]
I'm a busy man, you know?
No. You have to help me leave.
Uh, I've got work to do.
Dunno.
Figure it out.
You have time.
- Big dude.
- [dog barks]
[Oliwia] How are you?
Good boy. Yes.
What a good dog.
They say animals are judges of character.
Let's go.
[both laugh]
- [dog barks]
- Up!
[laughs]
[Kuba] It's good luck.
Remember, you gotta
keep your little ones fed.
Bye.
[car door closes]
[sentimental music playing]
Oh. The celebrity's back.
Sup, Wojtek?
Kuba.
So
How was the city?
You know what? Not bad.
Yeah?
Forget about that program.
"Sing for Poland," they
don't know a damn thing.
Yeah? What'd you sing for them?
It was a bona fide masterpiece.
[guitar playing]
A girl sitting over there by the river
Love looked deep in her dark eyes
If I was there, I would've voted for you.
That's because you, Tola,
have good taste in music.
And they had none whatsoever.
And it cost me so much money.
Gas guzzling beast of a car.
Yeah.
Should've taken your own.
My car wouldn't have worked
because I knew there were all those...
Beautiful girls there.
You know, I wanted to make an impression.
And so? Did they appreciate your efforts?
Tola, it's like this
[guitar playing]
He who has no fortune in music,
will also have no fortune
in love.
Period.
[Dumpling neighing]
[exhales]
You didn't say where I was, right?
Wojtek,
I made a promise.
Thank you.
POLICE
[Oliwia sighs]
Good morning.
That smells good.
There's a missing person
out there, Halina Madej.
Your grandma's a grownup,
as far as I know.
She's allowed to leave the house
whenever she wants.
Hmm, what if she's in danger, though?
What could happen to her in Bodki?
[scoffs] Anything.
[chuckles]
You don't remember me?
We used to go apple-picking together?
And gooseberries too, you don't remember?
I'm a bit bigger since having
the kids, but I guess that
It's that bad, huh?
Matylda!
Ha, ha. Yes!
- Hi.
- Hey.
[Matylda sighs] It's good to see you.
Someone said you're rising up
in the culinary universe.
Where'd you hear that?
Your grandma wants to know
what you're up to.
And because she doesn't have a phone,
she comes over to use my internet.
Oliwia, Halina really misses you.
Did you add flour to that?
Just one spoonful.
And there's also some boiled
and raw potatoes.
Mmm.
Have some.
Yummy!
"Yummy?"
My husband says
they're the best in Poland.
The best.
Oliwia.
Hmm?
How are the Wrocaw hunks?
Are they yummy too?
[Oliwia giggles]
They're alright I guess
So will you tell me where she is?
Just eat.
Have a little more.
- Okay, I'm gonna have one.
- Ha.
[sentimental music playing]
[clucking]
[clucking continues]
Are you gonna chase me, you rascals?
[groans]
[goose honking]
[goose honking]
Leave me alone.
No, no, no, no. I'm going.
[honking continues]
Okay girls, time for dinner.
[goats bleating]
[Dumpling nickers]
What?
What?
[Dumpling snorts gently]
What?
Hey!
Hey, don't leave like that.
Girls, come back!
Okay, let's go home. Now.
Goodbye.
Let's go, come on.
Go home.
Let's go, girls.
- Go home.
- [goats bleating]
Perfect.
You've got Halina's stubbornness.
Girls, go home!
The other way. Hello.
Good morning.
Good morning!
[gasps]
Good morning.
- Uh.
- I was in the area, so I thought,
"I should check how it's going."
[chuckles]
Mister Jan, I...
You don't have to call me "mister,"
my love.
Mister Jan,
do you know here Halina is?
How come?
Grandma's gone and run off, huh?
[chuckles]
That's unfortunate.
Quite unfortunate.
[both laugh]
Out of everybody, she must have
told you what she was planning.
I already told you. I have no idea.
Your grandma didn't say anything to me.
[groans]
You've lied to me once already,
Mister Jan.
Oh, okay, big deal.
Sometimes you've gotta do
something bad to do something good.
[sentimental music playing]
Halina misses you a lot.
You're the only one she's got.
The only one.
[Halina] You're such a bonehead.
That's not the signal.
What?
This is the password.
Two short, two long,
three long, two short.
Oh, something like that.
- Right. Are the animals all taken care of?
- They are.
And Czerka gave birth successfully.
[both laugh]
I bet you 400 zoty
that Oliwia will learn to love it here.
She's leaving.
She'll sell the land, and you'll have
to move in with me for good.
Stop it with that nonsense.
She'll stay on her family's land.
Farming's deep in her genes.
End of discussion.
- And what if she sells the land?
- [gasps]
You better watch your mouth.
[spits]
Now pour us some liquor.
To my granddaughter
having good fortune.
[exhales deeply]
[exhales deeply]
[electrical buzzing]
You're sure you know what you're doing?
Brand new.
- Got something I can wipe my hands with?
- In the trunk.
What's with all of these boxes?
I really hate wasting food.
Whenever I have leftovers from work,
I give them away.
[car engine starts]
[engine revving]
[imitates engine revving]
[engine turns off]
She sounds great.
You rock.
What's next?
Nothing, I'll just go home now.
You'll take care of everything, won't you?
Please, just help me out here.
Halina won't forgive you.
Too bad.
I'll go say farewell to Dumpling
and have a talk with him.
Thank you.
[chuckles]
Wojtek.
Wojtek!
Get over here, something's wrong.
[baby goat bleating]
[baby goat bleating weakly]
She's getting weak.
Ah, she's not drinking her mother's milk.
We've gotta feed her somehow.
With what?
Formula food.
- Oh, the neighbor might have some...
- You stay.
I have everything we need in the car.
Shh
[Dumpling nickers softly]
It was gonna be for my daughter.
Will you hold her?
What?
Put her in your lap,
it'll be easier to feed her.
[bleating gently]
[milk pouring]
Now just take your hand.
Take the milk there.
[Dumpling nickers]
- That's it.
- [ bleating gently]
Shh. Just eat.
It's okay, just eat.
[Oliwia laughing]
So, what do you do out there
in Wrocaw for work?
- I'm a chef.
- Oh.
Oh, I'm so hungry, just starving.
Will you feed me?
Don't you have to get back
to your daughter?
She's with granddad.
- Hmm.
- And her mama?
[exhales] Well, we broke up.
So, will you?
["Low key by Fiona Harte playing]
You look good cooking.
You're supposed to be slicing the bread.
Mmm.
I also make sandwiches, but not like this.
Mmm.
This stuff is serious.
[ducks quacking]
What're you doing?
It's so late. Let's go.
Excuse me.
[ducks quacking]
Come on, ladies, let's go.
Goodnight. Come on, come on,
come on, come on, come on.
Go, go, go, go, go.
You caught me by surprise earlier
I've only complicated things between us.
You think I'm Wojtek, and my name is Kuba.
[electrical static]
[goats bleating]
- [goats bleating]
- Shh
[Oliwia giggles]
Really?
I kinda started to like you,
but you're not coming with me.
Goodbye. You're staying here.
Thank you very much.
Get out.
You're not coming with me.
Come on ladies, you too.
Come on.
[engine sputters]
Martens again?
[electrical static]
[man 1] My face is scrunching up
just looking at those plums!
[man 2] Come on
Why do you always have
to be so prejudiced?
Oh. It's you.
- It's us, that is correct.
- It's us.
What're you doing here?
- Uh
- We're brewing the national drink
of Podlasie in here.
- [Oliwia] What?
- What's wrong?
Halina's not making cheese anymore,
so she said we could use this area
for moonshine. Is that a problem?
Well, we could make a deal.
Sounds good.
I need a mechanic here.
Do you know of any?
Wiesia's cousin's brother-in-law works
in a garage as a mechanic in Wielka.
Well, hurry up and ring him,
or call him down. Quickly.
In a while.
He won't be up until noon after last night
when he went to
the christening after party.
Oh, I mean, can you just
make sure he comes today?
We can, but
there should be some benefit
to both sides in this deal,
- and discuss...
- No problem. What's the cost?
Not money No.
[both spit air]
Our price is this. Sugar.
- Sugar?
- Halina keeps a stockpile. Loads of sugar.
Whole cupboards-full.
Oh fine, take it.
Yes!
Alright! Yes!
- Yes! Halina's sugar!
- Heiress, wait!
Sit back down, Oliwia.
- We want to ask you something.
- Yeah, join us.
We
we thought you might be able
to help us put to bed a
dispute.
So we can figure out who has
the better moonshine, yeah?
It's important 'cause
we're gonna be starting a business,
- and gotta choose what to sell people.
- That's right.
- I'll help.
- Yeah.
This is plum.
Not bad.
Apple.
That's not bad.
But mixed together, it's amazing.
Mixed together. That's it.
- Why are you pouring that in there?
- We're mixing them. Drink it.
[sniffs]
Okay then.
[gulps]
Oh, that's so good!
[sighs] It's so good mixed together!
It set me on fire.
[inhales deeply]
- We should mix it!
- We should mix it!
- Brother, good job.
- You I love you.
Where could they possibly be hiding?
If I catch 'em all messed up and drunk,
I'm gonna teach 'em a lesson.
- [man 2] Brother, with this much sugar,
- [man 1] Eh?
We can probably brew at least 10 liters.
What? Were you sleeping during
your math class or something?
What's wrong with you?
You're always arguing.
Get over it.
- [man 2] Just whining.
- Are you seeing this?
She leaves for one day, and you're
already stealing her sugar.
We're not. The heiress said
that she wanted to help us out.
Yeah, we managed to create a real
empathetic connection with her.
[man 1] Yeah.
Empa-what?
Seriously, read a book.
Do a crossword puzzle
or something like that.
Then you can build a vocabulary
that's quite robust.
Dumb and dumber.
If only brains could grow
more robust with empathy.
What are you two up to?
What's with the sugar? What is it?
- Well...
- Just listen, my sweet, gorgeous angel.
We can explain everything.
I'm waiting,
but you better not try to fool me again.
[food sizzling]
[Halina sighs]
It's better if you can mix faster.
Like this.
- Uh
- Here.
[knocking on door]
One second.
[knocking on door continues]
What's wrong?
Is Halina here?
Halina.
- Halina.
- [Halina grunts]
Oh.
Something wrong?
Yeah. My idiot husband
And mine.
even more of an idiot.
They're making deals with Oliwia.
- And I think it might...
- We think it might.
We think maybe it's not
so good for you, Halina.
Tell me.
Uh
We realized that we don't actually
know any mechanics around here after all.
- That's all.
- That's all.
[scoffs] Well, wait a second.
[blow air]
Listen, guys.
You promised me something.
We prefer not to get
into trouble with our wives.
Boss' orders. Forgive us.
What are they hiding, Dumpling?
[Dumpling snorts]
[upbeat music playing]
[exhales]
[goats bleating]
Hey!
Line up right now, all of you.
Thelma.
Louise, stop.
Give up.
I'm begging you now. Just give in.
Okay, milking time.
Follow me, please.
[billy goat bleats]
There. Come on.
[music fades]
- Hands up. Now!
- Ah!
Jesus. My God.
That made me feel so much better.
Here.
I'm headed towards the dairy
for an intervention. I can take it.
Really? What's going on there?
Some women got their
beehives mixed up or something,
and they can't figure out whose are whose.
Do you have taxis around here?
You're kidding, right?
You hate money so much,
you'd throw it all away?
I've never called a taxi for someone.
Plus, nobody's comin'
all the way out here.
Then how do I get to Biaystok
to catch the train?
I'm gonna call someone to tow my car,
but I've gotta be at work tomorrow.
Maybe you do, maybe you don't.
You've got no kids at home.
Stay for a while, you'll be happy you did.
Why are you in such a rush?
Oliwia,
I've watched all those cooking shows.
They say "It's too sweet."
"Not enough pepper."
It's difficult, Oliwia.
It's a tough job.
[Matylda sighs]
I guess
I do deserve an actual break.
See? There you go.
[exhales] Call the head chef.
The head chef?
- About what? Jeez are you okay?
- Tell him you're sick. [coughs]
That you have the flu or something.
My friend Jagdka
sometimes tells me that, and it works.
Sometimes it works.
[Matylda panting]
Ah! Wait a sec
Almost forgot what I came here for.
[exhales] The mailman left that
yesterday at my place.
This is, uh for Halina.
I'm not gonna look at it.
Your grandma said
to leave everything with you.
Cause she said that the
farm is your responsibility now.
Hold on, stop.
When did you talk to her?
It was before.
"We request, on behalf of Herbal World,
a settlement of 25,000 zloty
to be transferred.
Payment is due 30 days
after receiving this notice."
That herbal fucker!
[coughing]
[wheezing]
[man] Come on.
What are you trying to pull?
I'm sorry, Robert, I got hit
real hard with something out here.
[coughing] I'm bedridden.
This has to be some
some local strain of the flu or something.
[coughs]
I knew you wouldn't be back
in time. I could feel it.
This farm
You have every right to be mad.
I didn't plan for this. I'm sorry.
I'll find a replacement.
Oli, I miss you around here.
For the past five years,
you've always been
by my side.
Stop it, or I'll start crying.
Just admit the competition
wants to poach you, right?
How much did they offer you?
[laughing]
Robert, where else would I find
an empathetic boss like you?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Don't try to soften me with compliments.
I promise, I'll make it up to you.
[Robert sighs]
You've got a week.
Thank you, Chef.
I'm sorry about the coughing.
[Dumpling whinnies]
[Dumpling whinnies]
[Oliwia] Grab the shovel
and go get some water.
- Hello, Kuba.
- Hello, Alicja.
Oh, how is Micha?
He's doing great, thank you.
[woman] Where's the basil plot,
'cause I can't find it.
[man] Someone rake those leaves!
You can't get through here!
How was it?
[inhales deeply]
[Kuba] A disaster.
No.
We made a deal.
The Warsovians wanna put up money
for the herbal cafe in Biaystok,
- plus in the capital, and Lublin.
- Yes! Yay!
That's amazing!
They do want to visit before signing.
Well then
we're celebrating tonight.
Oh, you!
Whoo!
- Ah! Not giving up that easily!
- Yeah?
- Yeah!
- [woman laughing]
No. No! [screams]
[woman screams] No!
No, no, no, no, no, no!
[woman screams]
- Hey
- You're wasting water!
Aren't you ashamed?
Uh We are.
We are.
With global warming getting worse,
in ten years,
the water level will drop by a meter!
I guess I'm the only
one who cares about that.
Are we positive that's your dad?
- We get our intelligence from our mothers.
- Ah.
Dads pass down the good looks.
- So you're not my real dad then?
- Oh, you little
[Kuba groaning]
Oh, did you remember
to buy me a milk bottle?
[Kuba sighs]
The newborns eat on their own.
I gave it to a friend who needed one.
- How am I gonna feed Anielka?
- [clicks teeth] We'll make it work.
INN
I've, uh
I think, um
I, uh
maybe I I burned it, sir.
Come on.
Well
I thought you said
you specialized in goose.
Well, the stressful atmosphere
[stammering] it makes it harder
for me to cook.
Well, you have nothing to stress
about now. This is your last day.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Well, alright then.
The pizzeria
in Biaystok is looking for help.
Oh, good luck. Yeah.
I'm gonna be extremely chill
and defrost margaritas
and stuff like that.
Capricciosas, yeah. Mmm.
[chef crying]
He fired me.
Another one?
Yeah, another one.
Oh, I just have the worst luck with cooks.
What if you hired a girl?
Excuse me.
Hello.
Oh, hello.
I came for the owner.
Uh, I'm the owner of the inn,
and the herbs are my son.
Ah. Do you know where your son is then?
You can find him over there.
Thank you.
Have a good day.
You too.
Have you seen her before?
No.
Wojtek.
Do you know where your boss is?
What's wrong?
How could someone harass an old lady?
Um, there's actually a reason
for all of this.
Oh, you're defending him?
- No, no, I'm just, uh
- Just tell me where to go.
He he left for the day.
Are you for real?
His father told me that he's here.
[Dumpling nickers]
Oh.
Ah?
- [Wojtek] Pretty good, right?
- Wojtek
Would you pretend around
this one girl that you're me?
[Wojtek scoffs]
- Kuba, that's not how you do it.
- You don't understand.
I made things a little complicated.
I'll make it right, but for now,
You're name is Kuba Wolak,
the owner of Herbal World.
Just keep saying "yes" no matter what.
Yes.
Yes.
Aren't you ashamed?
Dragging an old woman
into court like that?
Yes?
I'm sure you have enough money.
You have to take more from Halina?
Yes.
It's funny to you?
Yes.
Sir, wait
M maybe you could meet with Oliwia
this evening at the Inn
to talk things over.
Remember, you wanted to make
things right with Halina?
I think it might be best if you settle.
Yes.
[Kuba sighs]
Is he a bit nutty?
Oh, he's been working on this new shampoo.
He's just inhaling all of these vapors.
[Oliwia sighs]
[Kuba exhales] Still though,
uh, you should come
to the Inn this evening.
It'd be good to put the fire out. Hmm?
I suppose, yeah.
You know, my car still won't start.
Yeah?
So then you're staying longer?
That's great.
Hey, good morning.
[man 1] Praised be.
Good morning.
Me and my brother
want to apologize.
We don't like how things
turned out this morning.
We didn't want you to assume
people from Poldasie aren't honorable.
We would have found you a mechanic,
but our wives make all the decisions.
You know how it is.
I have to agree with my brother here.
So how about it?
Oliwia, are we good?
We're good.
C'mon, get inside.
- Oh!
- Oh! We're good.
Oh good, good, good.
Ah. For you.
- Ah. You didn't have to.
- Ah, we didn't have to, but we wanted to.
- Thank you.
- It's all yours. Thank you.
- Sit down.
- Ah, why not?
[man on radio] A little reminder
for those who like to party.
We're getting ready for
the Bodki village fair.
We warmly welcome every single one of you.
And now a song from your favorite
Songbirds from Bodki.
- You should have some.
- Oh, yeah?
[song in Polish playing on radio]
What do you think of it?
- Mmm.
- It's not bad.
- Mmm.
- It's just
more sophisticated.
But, uh
it would be even better
with ketchup and cheese.
Tell me, gentlemen.
Do you know what's going on
between Halina and Herbal World?
It all started with Mister Wolak,
who is Kuba's father,
coming into possession of Halina's meadow.
Is that right?
That meadow's where he grows his herbs.
Your family was raised on that land.
It's special.
And after that, your mother
sold the land against Halina's wishes.
Never knew
- that's what the fight was about.
- Mmm.
I remember them fighting,
but Mom never said what it was.
Just that we wouldn't come here anymore.
I think Halina should sell
the rest of that meadow.
She could pay off her debts and then,
uh, and that'd be that.
He's exactly right.
All of these, uh, settlements
and lawsuits are driving her crazy.
You're gonna make her an offer.
You'll agree to let go of all the damages
if Halina stops filing complains
against me, slash you. Got it?
- Kuba, should I be calling you "Wojtek?"
- Yes.
- And I'm the chairman?
- "President" sounds a bit better, babe.
Good evening.
Good evening.
You're a waiter here too?
Gotta find a way to fund
this lifestyle somehow.
Wojtek.
Have a seat.
I've got a proposal.
Ah, oh no.
No business talk before
we have ourselves a drink.
Am I right, Wojtek?
Wojtek.
I keep him here because
he's a really good man.
It's just sometimes he's a little slow.
So, are we just gonna wait for you?
Go on. Bring us some menus.
Right away, sir.
- President.
- [Kuba] President.
Thank you, but I really
didn't come here to eat.
I'm putting up all of the land
for one-hundred-fifty-thousand, let's say.
Does that work?
Yes. Uh, I really like your proposal.
- It's a deal.
- Are you out of your mind!
He made life hell for your grandma,
and you wanna sell him the land?
What happened to your values?
Well, I went insane once, but that was
after some pretty crazy moonshine...
Stop! Come on.
Come on. Now.
Hold up. Halina needs the money.
Well, she can earn it.
And get back into cheese making.
- But the Health Department banned her.
- Oh, everything can be worked out.
Kurek?
Wojtek Kurek.
Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.
Apologize for the interruption, or I'll
have no other choice but to fire you.
Please, Mr. President.
[scoffs] I'm surprised you kiss up
to him, especially after this.
Let's not get carried away.
Wojtek is like a
personal footrest to me.
Oh my God, no. Oh jeez. Oh jeez.
You found my son, from the looks of it.
Did you manage to make a deal?
Hey there, Dad.
Wojtek, I love you like my own,
but I swear to God
Wait, so this is Kuba then?
Yeah. Am I losing it?
- Oliwia, I planned on telling you...
- Daddy!
Look at this little guy
that I just saved with Grandpa.
He was lost, wandering by the road.
- Can we keep him? I named him Maciu.
- Tola, I've gotta talk to Oliwia.
There's nothing to talk about.
It's all really clear.
So cute.
I wish I could take him, but I have
a little goat at home to look after.
A little goat? Can I please come see her?
[scoffs] You're always welcome.
Halina Madej's farm.
Hold on, hold on.
So
Um, who are you to Halina?
You should ask your son about that.
What'd you two do now?
You pair of jackasses.
[somber music playing]
[Dumpling snorts]
Mister Jan.
Mister Jan.
Mister Jan!
What? Is there a fire?
You with someone?
No. Who'd be here right now?
I go to bed with the chickens.
Yeah, but I saw a woman
through the window.
[Dumpling neighs]
You don't think I'm a little old?
Stuff like that could put me in the grave.
[Oliwia scoffs]
[door closes]
Around here, it's inappropriate
to visit people at this hour of night.
I won't be long.
Why did the Health Department
shut Halina down?
There was an inspection.
Mmm.
Some horrible woman came down.
She kept talking about how, uh
your grandma didn't have the right papers.
Those people worship papers.
[banging from room]
That that that's my dear mother.
She haunts me
for never marrying or having a family.
[door opens]
Halina!
What was I supposed to do?
I've only ever loved one woman.
[scoffs]
Sleep well.
[door opens]
[Dumpling galloping away]
[panting]
Ay, yai, yai, yai, yai.
It looks like you're gonna need
some lotion rubbed on you, huh?
I'm sure you'd love that.
Just to help me, I'm sure, right?
- Did you hear that?
- What?
She's becoming interested in cheese now.
I knew that woman would
soak up the country like a sponge.
Come on, come on, come on, come on!
- Pour us some liquor, alright?
- You're sure you don't have
an itch on your back, huh?
What an old pervert you are. Shoo, shoo.
My intentions toward you
are nothing but pure.
I would marry you tomorrow.
Uh.
Ha.
[Jan laughs]
Oliwia.
Come have dinner.
No, I don't want to be a bother.
Not at all!
Daniel!
Kids!
Set the table, we we've got a guest.
Auntie, could I visit you in Wrocaw?
I'd love to have you, sweetheart.
The whole family's always welcome.
If you're leaving, then
what happens to the farm?
Farming's never been what we asked for.
It's the whole reason we're stuck here.
But we're happy,
and we've got all we'll ever need.
[Matylda chuckles]
The only fun thing here's the fair.
- No duh
- Careful, now.
Excuse me, ladies, but, uh
it's time for me to put the kids to bed.
Come on, my little ducklings.
It's time now.
[Daniel] Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
Go.
- Bye, Mom. Bye, Auntie.
- [sister] Bye, bye!
- Goodnight! Sleep well, my love.
- Bye, girls.
Mmm.
You're having that?
Get the wine.
Now, tell me what's going on.
I don't even know where the hell to start.
From the beginning.
[Oliwia sighs]
One round down.
Cheers.
[exhales]
Now I'm ready for it.
I am a girl from Podlasie
With an apron to my knees
- Down with the herbal dickhead!
- Um
And down with all the dickheads
in the entire universe.
Oh.
Hey, he's still pretty fine, right?
[Oliwia scoffs]
Nothing crazy.
- Right, Dumpling?
- Ah, no, no, no, cut it out.
You thought he was handsome for sure.
Wait, who's the mother of his child?
I don't know.
I don't know because Kuba
He's like
He keeps everything to himself
and never lets go of anything.
Hey
At the fair you can sell cheese,
can't you?
Yeah, yeah.
I'll wink at one of them
And nudge the other one
Amanda wants to say hi.
And hello from Maciu.
- How was the operation?
- Everything's super.
She's feeling much better.
You're the best. I was rooting for you.
I know my love. I felt it.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Hi. Tola, I'll be there in a couple
more days. Can't wait to see you.
I know. I love you, Momma.
I love you too. Bye.
Amanda, say "bye".
Say "bye".
- Bye.
- Bye.
Did you make things right with Oliwia?
[inhales and exhales deeply]
It's a little complicated.
You know a lot of things.
You give people herbal mixtures
to help them,
but you just can't help yourself, can you?
I'm gonna make a mixture
to make you less of a smart aleck.
[Tola chuckles]
I like Oliwia.
I see why you're in love with her.
How do you know that?
I guess I got my mind-reading skills
from my mom too, huh?
Shut your mouth, you smart aleck.
Quiet. It's so late.
Oh yeah, well here.
- Boosh.
- Ah!
- [Kuba] Ah.
- [woman] What was that for?
[all laughing]
[Kuba] Why, you!
APPLICATION
CHEF
Made a new herb mix for you.
It's for your pipe.
You let go of another cook?
Why don't you mind your business, okay?
We're hosting the investors.
It'd be nice to be able to feed them.
Well you did make an apology
to Oliwia, right?
- Not yet.
- You lied to her.
Didn't you?
Well?
Yeah.
Right.
Why don't you go apologize like a man?
[guitar playing]
Give me this night
Only one night
Give, give, give
And gesture Him this night
Only one night
Wojtek?
You'll send me to her
as a musical telegram to say sorry, huh?
- You're out of your mind, aren't you?
- No, sorry, not today.
I've seen this in movies.
Kuba, it works.
Well, a sibling for Tola would be great.
Oh come on, you guys.
It would be a shame for genes
like yours to go to waste.
Come on, you should be fruitful.
Hear that?
Wojtek, you can make some sense.
If you really put your mind to it.
Fist bump.
[Wolak laughing]
You guys.
[somber music playing]
RECIPES MY GRANDMA'S AND MINE
HALINA MADEJ
WHEY RECIPE
[Halina] Oliwia
my beloved granddaughter.
I've sent so many letters to you.
Same old, same old with me, sweetheart.
I only have one granddaughter
and my heart breaks with regret that you
weren't with me for another summer.
Winter is just around the corner,
and Christmas is coming.
And I'm sad that you're not with me.
And Santa will probably
stop by with a gift for you.
RETURNED TO SENDER 27.04.2006
I hope you enjoy it.
The storks arrived when spring started.
Dumpling has grown up,
and he told me to send you
his best wishes.
We're waiting for you here.
It feels like everyone's so happy-go-lucky
except for me, my darling.
I miss you.
And I keep looking forward
to any letters from you.
Scribble a few words for your old gran.
GRANDMA
[goats bleating]
I love you, kiddo.
My beloved little star.
My deepest love, Gran.
These these letters
never made it all the way.
[goats bleating]
[engine turns off]
[Ela] What are you doing here?
Oliwia and I have something to discuss.
Mm-hmm.
Halina won't be too thrilled
when she finds out you're seeing
her precious granddaughter at midnight.
In my opinion,
people should be sleeping at this hour.
In their own house.
Have a good night, then.
Have a good night.
[adventurous music playing]
Something here for me?
I've got news for Halina, and it's bad.
What happened?
I just found out Oliwia is having
a romance with her arch nemesis.
No she's not
Not a word about this.
- What? I...
- She might have a nervous breakdown.
And we'll have a funeral for real.
[sighs]
I'll take care of it.
[blows]
[adventurous music ends]
[car door closes]
- Hello.
- Hello.
[Oliwia grunts]
Filing a complaint
on someone else now, you snitch?
I get you're not happy to see me.
But I got you a permit to sell cheese.
What's this?
[Kuba] Read it.
You must know people.
The inspector shuts down Halina,
now all of a sudden the ban's lifted
with one little word from you?
Look I had nothing to do
with the complaint,
- and the chief buys herbs from me.
- Yeah, right
- Hi, Oliwia.
- Hi.
This time, I'm driving.
Fine then.
[melancholy music playing]
[Halina] A full liter of milk will yield
about a quarter wheel of cheese.
It's best if the milk is salted.
[Oliwia laughs]
[Halina] When it starts bubbling,
remove the pot from the burner.
For an authentic taste,
squeeze lemon juice on it.
But just a little bit.
A little bit will go a long way.
And most importantly
Give him this night
Only one night
Give, give, give him this night
Only one night
What's happening?
From Kuba. An apology.
He said to come here?
It worked, right?
Eh
Not really.
I had a hard time
deciding which song to use.
Can you please stop?
No salt?
Needs more salt.
[Oliwia exhales]
Yeah, you forgot to salt it.
What do you want with Oliwia Madej?
It doesn't matter.
She wants nothing to do with me anyway.
I can tell that you're smitten
with that girl.
I really screwed this one up, didn't I?
Your stomach's got butterflies
from our dear Oliwia, I see.
Well, yeah, because she's great. Special.
You're a bonehead.
You were about to settle everything
with Halina.
I'm not sure if Halina
would've been happy.
And plus,
she was the one who started this.
She sued me, and when I wanted to settle.
That woman wouldn't let it go.
I won't let you disparage
my little dumpling.
She's a firecracker,
you're right about that.
Maybe there's a chance
for something between you and Oliwia, huh?
Two are needed to tango
Bodies in unison and eager heart
Two are needed to tango
That's how this world was designed
[burps] These cheeses have no flavor
compared to Halina's eh?
Yeah. And I thought
you were this fancy chef.
- Ooh, fancy...
- Gentlemen.
Goat cheese isn't my specialty, okay?
I'm still learning.
I'm joking, I'm joking.
Whatever, whatever.
Take me, it will be wonderful
I got it!
Shower me with gold
[goat bleating]
You'll perform.
No, you can substitute for Halina
during the fair. As a singer.
Uh
Nah, I I don't think so.
There's cash.
Oh, yeah?
- Ten grand goes to first place.
- [whistles]
To split.
[Matylda] Ahh but between
Five, six ways. You know.
Alright, okay. That sounds better to me.
I mean we can...
[laughing] Amazing. Good.
Matylda.
What's up?
So, did you find out who called
the health department on Halina?
Oliwia.
I'm working on it, okay?
Hi, Uncle.
Sweetie-pie.
[both imitate a goat bleating]
Can I try some?
Yeah, of course.
Not mind-blowing.
Hmm.
My Dad could spice it up with some herbs.
Kuba's herbs are the best around here.
Yeah, they're the best.
They are the best.
I'm not asking your father for anything.
You don't have to.
You can buy everything you need.
Ah! Words of wisdom from the little one.
[sentimental music playing]
I get why you're angry with dad.
I'd be too.
I feel like such an idiot though.
He fell for you.
And you know what serotonin
does to someone.
Your dad falls in love a lot, doesn't he.
Girls usually fall for him first.
Makes sense.
I guess he's a cool guy.
[Dumpling nickers]
Maybe take it easy on him.
A favor from one woman to another.
Marek, I've been telling you
since the beginning.
Podlasie's no good.
- GPS doesn't even work out here.
- Darek.
What're we doing here? Nature hates me.
In a moment, something's going to
swoop down and carry me off.
Last time I was here,
I got bit so hard by a mosquito,
my face swelled up like a balloon.
I thought I was gonna die.
- Up there. Is is that a stork?
- I see it.
Relax.
Do you see any mosquitoes around here?
Hey. Look at those two.
If a mosquito bit them,
it would totally get hammered.
Hello there.
Hi, gentlemen.
We got a bit lost.
We're looking for Herbal World,
but can't find it.
The GPS, um
went haywire.
Offline.
Keep going straight for a bit, um,
then make a left
there's gonna be a dirt road,
keep going down there,
and that's the quickest way.
Thank you, gentlemen.
You guys are life-savers.
It's better to ask than be lost.
[both laughing]
The Warsovians are coming now.
First, I'm gonna show them the herbs,
and after that we'll have dinner.
What's the new chef cooking?
New chef?
We don't have one.
Yeah, Grandpa's cooking potatoes.
[Kuba] Excuse me?
What are you talking about?
What's this "excuse me?"
- Tola, don't you love Grandpa's potatoes?
- Uh
- [Tola] I do.
- [Wolak] There.
Tola, have you made potatoes before?
[exhales deeply]
I'm gonna ask you a favor.
Um-hmm.
Do I dare ask?
Please help me.
["Night & Day Dreams" by Frdric Auger
& Anastasia Zimmerman playing]
For the first course,
we'll have carpaccio.
Followed by gazpacho.
And for the finale,
we'll present a crab dumpling.
[snaps fingers]
And for dessert?
For dessert
Cheese.
Cheese? For dessert?
Ah, ah, ah, ah
I'm your favorite
Ah, ah, ah, ah
You're mine too
Mmm.
That smells amazing.
- Hey, you're interrupting.
- My bad.
Where are those Warsovians?
[scoffs] Stop snacking.
She's right, Dad, stop snacking.
I called them, but no answer.
My step counter says we did 3042.
Highest in six months.
All that just to get here. [sighs]
- Looks pretty nice in here though.
- [Marek] Yeah, it's nice, it's nice.
You know, um
we're actually not some dive bar,
this is a nice restaurant
with a dress code.
There's nothing nice in this neighborhood.
Uh, welcome in!
Uh
I see you've had quite
a journey from Warsaw.
Nah, what makes you say that?
A nightmare, a nightmare,
nothing but a nightmare.
Me and my colleague
will never set foot here again.
Uh have a seat, gentlemen,
take a load off, please.
How about get us a tow truck,
and then we can have a seat and relax
back in Warsaw?
- What about your investment?
- Look for some other idiots.
I am strongly against
all you Podlasie potato-heads.
How about you have something good to eat?
We're not touching that, no way.
Marek.
Unless we, I don't know,
have a little nibble,
so we have energy to get home.
If I wasn't starving,
I would have walked out already.
A long time ago. Believe me, Darek.
Believe me.
- [Marek] Mmm.
- [Darek] Mmm.
[Darek] Mmm.
Mmm. Well
- Not bad.
- Mmm. Mmm.
You crushed it.
Mmm.
And this is
compliments of our lovely chef.
Thank you.
Wow! We'll have some of it, sure.
[clears throat]
Please give our regards.
Mmm. Give her a raise
with a few zeroes tacked on
because her cooking
definitely warmed our hearts
towards, um, Poldasie.
We'll even stay to have a little peek
at your herbs, I guess. How's that?
If everything around here works the way
that the kitchen does
[exhales]
- I think that we can reconsider our plans.
- Yes.
- [Darek] Marek
- Yeah?
- It tastes like my childhood.
- Yeah, mine too.
And with this presentation. I love it!
[Wolak sighs]
[Wolak] Hmm.
Here.
[Kuba sighs]
Are the Warsovians gone?
I called them a taxi to the station,
and a truck's coming for their car.
- You think we're in business?
- You bet. We firmed up the agreement.
There's someone you need to thank.
- And act like a man!
- I will. Where did Oliwia go?
Oliwia just left.
Go get her.
[melancholy music playing]
[Dumpling neighs]
I wanted to say thanks.
Thank you.
So quiet here.
That's why I love Podlasie.
Kuba!
Kuba, sorry.
[Dumpling neighs]
[woman] I need you for a sec.
Um.
[clears throat]
Uh, give me a minute.
What's wrong?
Your Dad took a shortcut
through the forest,
and now he's stuck
so I need to use your car.
- Wait.
- [Dumpling neighs]
[Dumpling neighs]
Why are you getting all
dressed up, my angel?
The fair's today, and I'm going to support
Oliwia's cheese making debut, Jan.
She'll be fine by herself.
Will you just stop trying to do this?
I wanna see my plan come to fruition
with my own eyes, eh?
You always have to have your own way.
You never let things go.
You have to loosen the reins for once.
No, no.
I'm over this.
- Ah!
- [Halina] Hey!
I'm only gonna ask you once
to put the ladder back right now.
[Halina] Hey, you put
that ladder back up right now!
[Halina sighs]
[Halina] Ugh.
Well?
Well you could be right, I guess.
[chuckles]
Why don't we have
a good time?
Together
Hmm?
- [Halina] Huh?
- Halina.
[Halina] Yeah?
Halina
Halina, I've been waiting
so long for this, my angel.
Halina.
[both laugh]
Halina, my dearest.
Oh, you. No
Yes, Jan, let's go, let's go.
Come on, let's go.
Come on, come on, come on.
[Jan giggling]
[Jan grunts] Halina!
Halina!
[banging on the door]
There. [laughing]
- [Jan] Halina!
- Oh, stop it, Jan.
I'll come back.
Halina!
Halina!
Now that's a firecracker.
Anybody would fall for her.
Oh.
[winces]
Ah. You only live once.
[grunts]
[Polish folk music playing]
Good morning.
This is such a beautiful sign, Tola.
Thank you.
- [Tola] Alright! Let's go shoot arrows!
- [girl] Okay!
- I've gotta get going.
- [Tola] Come on.
I'm the host for today.
Best of luck, my big
celebrity.
[Matylda chuckling]
Look.
- The other one is better. Hi.
- Hi.
Can we talk for a second?
I'll be on my way.
We'll be on our way.
You don't have to explain yourself.
He does.
I'll watch this for you.
- [Oliwia] No.
- Come on.
Ladies. [sighs]
We're a family.
Wow.
Congratulations.
Well, actually
This
is my mother.
And this
is her girlfriend.
Welcome to our patchwork.
- Ta-da!
- Ta-da!
Welcome to the annual
Taste of Bodki Fair.
We've got incredible attractions
for you this year.
Everything from alpacas,
to village housewives singing in choirs.
Now, speaking of the choir
Uh uh, the choir.
[crowd clapping]
[Matylda] You did great.
[horn honking]
Is that Halina?
She's with Jan.
Oh, that's not good.
Bad news.
My biggest enemy is
your friend now, I guess?
- Kuba helped with the cheeses.
- Wait. But, Halina
- [grunting]
- Hey!
- You know he's gonna trick you.
- Hey! Hey!
- He's gonna trick you!
- Knock it off.
- Halina!
- You snitch.
You monopolist dickhead! [screams]
He didn't do it.
It was some lady from another village.
Matylda found who it was.
Halina, why don't we
bury the hatchet over this?
Ha! Hear that!
- He wants to bury a hatchet.
- Come on.
In my head. He's planning my death.
- Let go!
- Ah! Give me that!
- Stop!
- Hey, give me that! Hey!
Quiet!
I'm talking now.
Stop it.
Calm down over there.
I'll talk to Halina myself.
You knew? You never said so?
I knew, and I rooted for them.
Have a taste.
Oliwia and Kuba made it.
It's good.
Not bad.
Almost as good as mine.
- Halina, you can be so stubborn.
- Hmm.
Will you please give it up?
If they end up falling
in love with each other,
Oliwia would stay
right here in Bodki for good.
- We'd have grand babies around.
- Hmm.
We?
Talking about "we," you crazy man.
There was once a golden-feathered hen
The neighbor's rooster
Wanted to pluck her feathers
She wouldn't let him
The doggone thing
I'm sorry about Halina.
I'm used to her by now.
There once was a duck
She was a weird one
Instead of a mallard
She preferred a turkey
She wouldn't let him
The doggone thing wouldn't let him
Let's put all of this behind us.
The goat thinks, what did I do
To be coupled with this old billy goat
And I'll just keep my eye on you.
I'm sure you will.
She wouldn't let him
I'll leave you to it.
The doggone thing
Wouldn't let him
She tells the billy goat,
You wretched thing
Get lost
You're causing the barn to stink
She wouldn't let him
The doggone thing
Wouldn't let him
Is mom getting an apology as well?
The ram goes
My dear neighbor
I won't let a woman
Rule over the world
Is a farm really more important
than your daughter?
Not just any farm.
It's our family's land.
He never stops jabbering at his woman
Go to hell with that old fart
I think I'll give her a call
and see if she's ready to talk to me.
She wouldn't let him
The doggone thing wouldn't let him
I missed you.
- I missed you every day.
- [man] Encore!
You know I missed you too.
You!
To health, my brother.
Brother, you as well.
POWER-IN-LAW
[kissing]
[man 1 grunts]
[man 2 chuckles]
[man 2 clears throat]
And now, here come the harpies.
Hi.
- [Ela] Well.
- [Wiesia] Well.
[Wiesia] Well, well.
[Ela] Well, will you let us try it?
- Oh, sure.
- [Wiesia] Let us try your concoction.
[Wiesia exhales]
[Ela] Good.
[exhale]
- [Wiesia] Eh.
- [man 2] Eh?
- [Ela] Mmm.
- [Wiesia] Eh.
- Eh?
- [Ela] Hmm.
- [Wiesia] Well.
- [Ela] I have to admit.
- That's pretty good moonshine.
- Yeah. Let's let's have another one.
- One for courage. Yeah.
- For courage.
- [Ela] For courage before the show.
- [man 2] Liquid courage.
[man 1] Ah.
[Ela] Ah.
Mi, mi, mi, mi.
- There.
- Mi.
Now you'll be singing "mi-mi" so clearly.
[both laughing]
Now, please welcome to the stage
the Naughty Narew Girls!
Somewhere in the forest on an oak
Pigeons are cooing
I've never known delight
Years are passing me by
I've never known delight
Halina.
Huh?
I heard from a reliable source.
It was Maryla Jura
who sicced the health department on you.
- Maryla?
- Jura.
Maryla Jura?
Right there.
Jura!
Jura!
You sicced the health department on me?
Hear that everyone? Listen up!
We've got a snitch right here.
Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely!
I'm gonna find out who you're bribing
to win all of those awards.
- Oh, you nasty shrew.
- Who was he?
- Stop it right now.
- You witch, you witch. You witch!
- Get off her.
- Come on! I'll show you.
You witch!
A girl was sitting over by the river
Love looked deep into her dark eyes
He asked her if she's willing
If she likes him
Not that he cares
But he probably wasn't the one
Momma, momma, momma warned you
- You'll be alone, Braiding wreaths
- Halina!
- When the moon looks over everything
- Halina!
- You bastard!
- Your lover will not come again
Momma, momma, momma warned you
You'll be alone, alone
Braiding your wreaths
Beauty is like water
It doesn't wait
It just flows away Opa!
[man grunts]
Oliwia, let's go!
Stay calm.
[romantic music playing]
My dad is already planning
a kitchen renovation,
fit for a chef like you.
Kuba.
I can't stay.
Why not?
I already have a life in Wrocaw.
I can't just leave
everything I worked for.
It wouldn't be fair to me.
You can still cook here, you know.
It would be like me trying
to take you away from this place.
Your dreams are here, and mine are there.
And I'm sorry, but I don't
believe in long-distance.
I thought I meant something to you.
I promise you do.
[Dumpling nickers]
[Oliwia chuckles]
POWER-IN-LAW
[Oliwia chuckles]
[both imitating sheep]
[music swells]
Why don't you go after her?
That's not how it works.
She has to want to come back.
You should've used, like,
some sort of love potion.
She's immune.
[Oliwia] I'm gonna miss Bodki.
But, you know
I have to go home.
It's better this way.
It has to be, right?
Maciek, watch the onions, please.
Thank you.
Mmm.
Mmm.
[chuckles]
What's wrong?
Podlasie?
You got hooked on that place.
Okay, fine, I'll give you a raise.
And two free weekends a month. Okay? Hmm?
I think I'm gonna need more than that.
Maciek.
Why don't we step outside?
Just don't mess it up for her.
Cooking food.
That's the life you chose.
And you love it.
- Of course.
- So? What happened?
Well, now I'm in love.
Well
that passes.
You, of all people, know how
many times I've been in love.
Cooking food, that's our true love.
Do you regret it sometimes?
Mmm Maybe.
Well, sometimes.
I don't want any regrets.
Well fine, then.
[Dumpling neighs]
Maybe you could take a break for a while?
Lunch break.
[Dumpling snorts]
[Oliwia] And that's how I found my place.
My people.
Man, life is pretty sweet.
[upbeat music playing]
Out there, somewhere to go, girl
Somewhere, there's places to hide
Oh yeah, you gotta know, girl
Your feelings ain't right
You keep holding on, girl
But he is reading your lies
You know something ain't right
Oh yeah
You gotta let it go, baby
Let it go
Gotta let it go, baby
Let it go
Gotta let it go, baby
I see he's pushing you out, girl
You feel he's pulling you back
You know something ain't right, girl
You gotta let it go, baby
Let it go
Gotta let it go, baby
Let it go
Hey
You gotta let it go, yeah
Oh yeah
You gotta let it go, yeah
Gotta let it go, baby
Oh yeah
You gotta let it go, yeah
Oh yeah
You gotta let it go, yeah
You gotta let it
Go, go, go, yeah
You've got to make him your life, girl
Oh yeah, it's gonna be easy
You've got to find a guy who's kind
'Cause he knows how to treat me
Let it go
Gotta let it go, baby
Let it go
Oh yeah, yeah
Ooh, ooh
You gotta let it go, yeah
Oh yeah
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah
You gotta let it go, baby
You know you gotta
Oh yeah
All right, go on
Ooh, ooh
- Gotta let it go, baby
- Yeah
[song ends]
[upbeat music playing]
[music fades out]
["I love Love" by Henrik Lars Wikstrm
& Anders Johan Greger Lewen playing]
Ooh
I love love
More than the sun and the moon now
Ah, ah, ah
More than the sky and the stars shine
They shine so bright indeed
I need my baby
I love love
More than the sound of the ocean
More than
Service please!
And I'm there for you
Maciek, get back to work.
Rookie! Dishes!
Yes, Chef!
Hurry up, or all of this will get burnt.
Mmm.
Oliwia!
Oliwia! Someone called for you.
For me?
Tell them I can't get to the phone.
Come on, Oliwia, he says
it's a matter of life and death.
Please take it. This guy won't give up.
Hello? Oliwia Madej, you called for me?
[customer] We're actually
in a bit of a rush.
You're kidding.
[glass shattering]
We're screwed.
- What am I supposed to do?
- It's only two days.
I need to say goodbye to my grandma.
It's all the same.
It's the height of the season,
and you're abandoning me.
And while we're opening a new location.
Finishing the menu.
Robert.
You know I have no other option.
I've gotta go there.
It's her funeral.
Who am I supposed to do it with? Them?
[exhales]
Two days is fine.
I won't go looking for anyone
to replace you.
For two days.
[car disarm beeps]
[Oliwia] Hi, I'm Oliwia.
But you know that already.
Mom chose this name for me
to spite Grandma.
Grandma would have preferred something
more traditional, like her name, Halina.
They were always fighting.
And at some point,
they just stopped talking to each other.
- That's my bad!
- [man] Watch it!
[Oliwia] Crazy Grandma Halina
and crazy Mommy.
So, I guess crazy runs in the family.
Mom went on a trip
to the other side of the world again,
and she turned off her phone.
Thanks for your support, Mommy.
Bodki. Podlasie.
How I used to love coming here.
One time, me and some local kids
got drunk on fermented cherries.
I thought Grandma would strangle me.
I got my cooking talent from her.
Mom says that's also
where I got my hot temper.
Life is short.
You never know when your time come.
[horn blaring]
Jesus Christ.
I killed him. Oh my God.
Am ambulance.
[phone ringing]
- [man on phone] Hello?
- Hello?
- Emergency operator. How can I help you?
- Hello?
Hello?
- [man grunts]
- [man on phone] Can you hear me?
Oh, you.
Do you know how long it took me
to get here from Wrocaw?
[sighs]
[man grunts]
[man chuckles]
Be careful. You almost killed me!
I almost did?
That sign should've been up
way before the bridge!
Do you big city folk
know how to say "I'm sorry?"
"I'm sorry?" "I'm sorry?"
Don't you dare tell me to apologize
when you're the one
that jumped in front of my car!
What're you doing?
What's going on?
I'm just about to take a break for lunch.
Ah Taking a break?
A lunch break.
[Oliwia gasps]
[exhaling]
[man] Want a sandwich?
Unbelievable.
- Unbelievable.
- Completely organic.
I can cut my break short.
Just ask me politely.
[car engine starts]
"I'm sorry" would've been easier.
[Oliwia] All right,
patience is not my strong suit.
[upbeat music playing]
NO PRESSURE
[car engine revving]
[Oliwia] I missed a lot of things,
but not this.
Welcome to Bodki!
There's no place like it
anywhere in the world.
Believe me.
I swear,
this is the literal middle of nowhere.
Okay, Oliwia. Get a grip.
I'll be elegant for you, Grandma.
Really.
I won't embarrass you.
The heiress has arrived.
[cow mooing]
Oh, I'm on your lawn.
My apologies.
[Oliwia] You can do it, Oliwia.
You'll manage.
You always do.
[music fades out]
My name is Jan.
- I'm the one you spoke with on the phone.
- Nice to meet you.
Can I please see my grandma?
[woman singing]
Oh, it's such a sad end
This final hour
That thankless little wretch
[door closes]
Running around town
There's no place better in the world
Than our country
Even God is weeping
Because a new soul comes to Him
Another mortal soul
So many things I never got to say to you.
Brought to Him in vain
I wasn't by your side. I'm so sorry.
Do I really have to die
in order to hear that from you?
[Oliwia screaming]
- Oliwia!
- [door opens]
Oliwia!
Oliwia!
What the hell is this?
I had to find out
if you'd be sad to see me go.
You'd have to be a sick, horrible person
to try pulling that.
What's wrong with you all?
Would you have come
if you never got that call?
Yeah, would you?
- I think she wouldn't.
- She wouldn't bother!
You wouldn't.
Aren't you ashamed to do something
like this? You're adults. Act your age.
- We did it for Halina, though.
- Right! Us girls have to stick together.
- And guys.
- [Halina chuckles]
Wish you'd been here for the nativity.
Now that was a pretty good show!
It drove a lot of traffic
into the town, huh?
- No, this can't be happening.
- Yeah.
We also sing church services every year.
And because our voices are so pretty,
we were able to borrow the coffin
from the priest.
[woman] The Housewives Club.
Girls of power.
- The Cuckoos!
- The Cuckoos!
- [all laugh]
- Are you having fun?
I've been alone here with the hens,
the goats Everything's falling apart.
I had to find a way
to get you to come help.
I waited for so long.
[inhales]
Let's not waste time.
I'm getting older, my dear. You know this.
We can't waste time
Let's not waste t
time
And I was missing my grandmother
when I needed her.
Where were you then Halina?
[melancholy music playing]
[sniffles]
How could she?
Always gotta have her own way!
Halina!
[electrical buzzing]
[engine puttering]
[Halina laughs]
A marten ate your cables.
Hey, come on, pull yourself together!
Grandma, how could you lie like that?
Oh, calm down, Oliwia, please.
We're gonna tow your car outta there
and get something good to eat, huh?
[Oliwia scoffs]
Well?
Sun's going down.
The wolves usually roam around here
when it gets dark.
Do I still look five years old?
[melancholy music continues]
[Oliwia] Hmm.
[Halina laughs]
You'll get used to that in no time.
I'm not gonna have the chance.
I feel bad about the funeral,
and I'm sorry.
I've been going nuts with everything
that's been happening around here.
You can save me and get me through this.
No, no, no. Don't even try.
It was your mother
that turned you against me.
So you remember that we're family, do you?
When you need my help with something?
[goats bleating]
Come on.
Hey. [chuckles]
[Halina] Ah.
Come on, eat. Eat, Louise.
Eat, eat.
[Halina laughs]
There, there!
And, Thelma, don't be rude.
Stop stealing from your sister, yeah?
Well, I'm glad you can at least
take care of your goats, I guess.
[chuckles]
I've fallen into debt due to some
[goats bleating]
tycoon.
Herb guy, local plantation owner.
And he took me all the way to court.
[Halina] You've gotta help me.
Calm down.
He sicced the health department on me.
They banned me from making cheese.
Well, you could always just retire.
Oh! That's absolutely
how I thought about it.
A bit more youth around here.
And one day this will all be yours.
Put it up for sale.
This isn't just some piece of land to me.
When you were younger,
you also used to love this place.
- [horse neighs]
- Dumpling
when I bought him for you,
he was still just a colt.
[Dumpling neighs]
You kept his name the same.
[inhales deeply]
Together, we can make this work,
sweetheart.
[Halina sighs]
I have to go back home.
[sad music playing]
[goat bleats]
[goat bleats]
Seriously?
[goat bleats]
I just bought these!
[sad music continues]
[groans]
Dumpling!
- [Dumpling neighs]
- Why so early?
[sighs]
- [goat bleating]
- Hey!
Get out of there!
Hello?
Hey! Get lost.
Halina!
[Halina's voice] Make sure the little ones
all get three meals per day.
They need to be milked once
in the morning and once in the evening.
If you need help, go grab Wojtek,
he helps me out around the farm.
His house is at the end
of the village, number 15.
If you really want to,
you can sell your grandma's land.
I put everything in your name.
The documents are on the trunk.
That's everything.
Halina.
Hey! Put that down!
- [goat bleating]
- Leave it.
Leave it!
NOTARY DEED
[phone thuds]
Hey, hey. That's my phone. Give it back.
[man] Why are you so stubborn, man?
How many times do I have to tell you
that plum mash is too sour?
Mm-hmm.
My grandfather used
to make plum moonshine.
- But...
- So did my daddy.
So I'm stickin' to plums too.
[man gasps]
Mornin'.
Oh, we've got Halina's granddaughter here.
Hi there, gentlemen.
I'm looking for Halina?
Ha! She called us gentlemen,
that's rich but
- No, we don't know where she is.
- Haven't seen.
[man] Listen we gotta make the
mash using apples, okay?
People need some sweetness in their lives,
and the apples I'm growing
are one of a kind.
Over my dead body!
You're more stubborn than a dirty mule,
just like your father.
- What?
- Yeah!
You gotta lotta nerve
callin' my father a mule.
- Yeah! Let's go!
- Ooh, you
- Guys, please!
- Back to work.
It sounds like your skinning
someone alive.
Chill out.
- He's filled with rage.
- Back to work now.
Dumb and dumber. Please.
Can we please go one day
without all of this?
No, because I have to stare
into his ugly mug every day.
And I gotta look at yours. I survive.
Alright, hold up.
Have any of you seen Halina?
Let's go. Let's go.
- God bless.
- Yoo-hoo. Come on.
Is this act two of your show?
What's going on?
- Calling my father a mule?
- Oh, shut up.
Hello.
- Shove those apples up your ass.
- You're fighting over moonshine again?
Hello?
Good morning.
Good morning.
[laughing]
Well
No wonder my grandma's farm
is completely falling apart,
since she's got you working for her.
[man laughs]
Halina is your grandmother?
I'm here because I need help.
Would you just help me
out a little, Wojtek?
Oh, Wojtek.
Uh, yes, I'm Wojtek, and you are
Oliwia.
Well, you got style, Oliwia.
[scoffs]
The car's over here.
Can you take care of the animals?
I bet we'll see her at dinner tonight.
[cow moos]
Do you know what's going on between
Halina and some herb tycoon?
[brakes screech]
[ducks honking and chirping]
[engine turns off]
Hey!
[goats bleating]
I can't handle this alone.
You're making this so difficult.
Hey!
That's mine, okay?
Thank you.
[dog barking]
- What's up, dude?
- [dog whimpers]
C'mon.
[Dumpling neighing]
She's in labor.
[goat bleating]
[goat bleating]
I'm gonna help you.
- Hold her by the horns.
- What?
Hold her by the horns.
How?
Right there.
- [goat whines]
- Ready?
You're completely sure about this?
[sentimental music playing]
[goat bleating]
[baby goat bleating]
[baby goat bleating]
She's so cute.
Look at that.
[exhales]
Hey.
Such a cutie.
Welcome to Bodki, little guy.
Just relax.
No, no, no. Leave it.
Her mother's gotta lick it off.
[goats bleating]
Look how excited they are.
[baby goat bleating]
That means they're hungry.
So you'll milk all of them.
What?
I don't know how to milk.
Isn't Halina your grandma?
Hmm.
[Oliwia] Thank you.
Of course.
Uh, what are you gonna do
with all that milk?
Take it to a dairy.
[Oliwia chuckles]
I'll fix it for you tonight.
I just have to go get some parts.
Well, I've gotta be back at work tomorrow.
Are you really
[grunts]
gonna leave, even if Halina's not here?
You'll take care of everything.
[grunts]
I'm a busy man, you know?
No. You have to help me leave.
Uh, I've got work to do.
Dunno.
Figure it out.
You have time.
- Big dude.
- [dog barks]
[Oliwia] How are you?
Good boy. Yes.
What a good dog.
They say animals are judges of character.
Let's go.
[both laugh]
- [dog barks]
- Up!
[laughs]
[Kuba] It's good luck.
Remember, you gotta
keep your little ones fed.
Bye.
[car door closes]
[sentimental music playing]
Oh. The celebrity's back.
Sup, Wojtek?
Kuba.
So
How was the city?
You know what? Not bad.
Yeah?
Forget about that program.
"Sing for Poland," they
don't know a damn thing.
Yeah? What'd you sing for them?
It was a bona fide masterpiece.
[guitar playing]
A girl sitting over there by the river
Love looked deep in her dark eyes
If I was there, I would've voted for you.
That's because you, Tola,
have good taste in music.
And they had none whatsoever.
And it cost me so much money.
Gas guzzling beast of a car.
Yeah.
Should've taken your own.
My car wouldn't have worked
because I knew there were all those...
Beautiful girls there.
You know, I wanted to make an impression.
And so? Did they appreciate your efforts?
Tola, it's like this
[guitar playing]
He who has no fortune in music,
will also have no fortune
in love.
Period.
[Dumpling neighing]
[exhales]
You didn't say where I was, right?
Wojtek,
I made a promise.
Thank you.
POLICE
[Oliwia sighs]
Good morning.
That smells good.
There's a missing person
out there, Halina Madej.
Your grandma's a grownup,
as far as I know.
She's allowed to leave the house
whenever she wants.
Hmm, what if she's in danger, though?
What could happen to her in Bodki?
[scoffs] Anything.
[chuckles]
You don't remember me?
We used to go apple-picking together?
And gooseberries too, you don't remember?
I'm a bit bigger since having
the kids, but I guess that
It's that bad, huh?
Matylda!
Ha, ha. Yes!
- Hi.
- Hey.
[Matylda sighs] It's good to see you.
Someone said you're rising up
in the culinary universe.
Where'd you hear that?
Your grandma wants to know
what you're up to.
And because she doesn't have a phone,
she comes over to use my internet.
Oliwia, Halina really misses you.
Did you add flour to that?
Just one spoonful.
And there's also some boiled
and raw potatoes.
Mmm.
Have some.
Yummy!
"Yummy?"
My husband says
they're the best in Poland.
The best.
Oliwia.
Hmm?
How are the Wrocaw hunks?
Are they yummy too?
[Oliwia giggles]
They're alright I guess
So will you tell me where she is?
Just eat.
Have a little more.
- Okay, I'm gonna have one.
- Ha.
[sentimental music playing]
[clucking]
[clucking continues]
Are you gonna chase me, you rascals?
[groans]
[goose honking]
[goose honking]
Leave me alone.
No, no, no, no. I'm going.
[honking continues]
Okay girls, time for dinner.
[goats bleating]
[Dumpling nickers]
What?
What?
[Dumpling snorts gently]
What?
Hey!
Hey, don't leave like that.
Girls, come back!
Okay, let's go home. Now.
Goodbye.
Let's go, come on.
Go home.
Let's go, girls.
- Go home.
- [goats bleating]
Perfect.
You've got Halina's stubbornness.
Girls, go home!
The other way. Hello.
Good morning.
Good morning!
[gasps]
Good morning.
- Uh.
- I was in the area, so I thought,
"I should check how it's going."
[chuckles]
Mister Jan, I...
You don't have to call me "mister,"
my love.
Mister Jan,
do you know here Halina is?
How come?
Grandma's gone and run off, huh?
[chuckles]
That's unfortunate.
Quite unfortunate.
[both laugh]
Out of everybody, she must have
told you what she was planning.
I already told you. I have no idea.
Your grandma didn't say anything to me.
[groans]
You've lied to me once already,
Mister Jan.
Oh, okay, big deal.
Sometimes you've gotta do
something bad to do something good.
[sentimental music playing]
Halina misses you a lot.
You're the only one she's got.
The only one.
[Halina] You're such a bonehead.
That's not the signal.
What?
This is the password.
Two short, two long,
three long, two short.
Oh, something like that.
- Right. Are the animals all taken care of?
- They are.
And Czerka gave birth successfully.
[both laugh]
I bet you 400 zoty
that Oliwia will learn to love it here.
She's leaving.
She'll sell the land, and you'll have
to move in with me for good.
Stop it with that nonsense.
She'll stay on her family's land.
Farming's deep in her genes.
End of discussion.
- And what if she sells the land?
- [gasps]
You better watch your mouth.
[spits]
Now pour us some liquor.
To my granddaughter
having good fortune.
[exhales deeply]
[exhales deeply]
[electrical buzzing]
You're sure you know what you're doing?
Brand new.
- Got something I can wipe my hands with?
- In the trunk.
What's with all of these boxes?
I really hate wasting food.
Whenever I have leftovers from work,
I give them away.
[car engine starts]
[engine revving]
[imitates engine revving]
[engine turns off]
She sounds great.
You rock.
What's next?
Nothing, I'll just go home now.
You'll take care of everything, won't you?
Please, just help me out here.
Halina won't forgive you.
Too bad.
I'll go say farewell to Dumpling
and have a talk with him.
Thank you.
[chuckles]
Wojtek.
Wojtek!
Get over here, something's wrong.
[baby goat bleating]
[baby goat bleating weakly]
She's getting weak.
Ah, she's not drinking her mother's milk.
We've gotta feed her somehow.
With what?
Formula food.
- Oh, the neighbor might have some...
- You stay.
I have everything we need in the car.
Shh
[Dumpling nickers softly]
It was gonna be for my daughter.
Will you hold her?
What?
Put her in your lap,
it'll be easier to feed her.
[bleating gently]
[milk pouring]
Now just take your hand.
Take the milk there.
[Dumpling nickers]
- That's it.
- [ bleating gently]
Shh. Just eat.
It's okay, just eat.
[Oliwia laughing]
So, what do you do out there
in Wrocaw for work?
- I'm a chef.
- Oh.
Oh, I'm so hungry, just starving.
Will you feed me?
Don't you have to get back
to your daughter?
She's with granddad.
- Hmm.
- And her mama?
[exhales] Well, we broke up.
So, will you?
["Low key by Fiona Harte playing]
You look good cooking.
You're supposed to be slicing the bread.
Mmm.
I also make sandwiches, but not like this.
Mmm.
This stuff is serious.
[ducks quacking]
What're you doing?
It's so late. Let's go.
Excuse me.
[ducks quacking]
Come on, ladies, let's go.
Goodnight. Come on, come on,
come on, come on, come on.
Go, go, go, go, go.
You caught me by surprise earlier
I've only complicated things between us.
You think I'm Wojtek, and my name is Kuba.
[electrical static]
[goats bleating]
- [goats bleating]
- Shh
[Oliwia giggles]
Really?
I kinda started to like you,
but you're not coming with me.
Goodbye. You're staying here.
Thank you very much.
Get out.
You're not coming with me.
Come on ladies, you too.
Come on.
[engine sputters]
Martens again?
[electrical static]
[man 1] My face is scrunching up
just looking at those plums!
[man 2] Come on
Why do you always have
to be so prejudiced?
Oh. It's you.
- It's us, that is correct.
- It's us.
What're you doing here?
- Uh
- We're brewing the national drink
of Podlasie in here.
- [Oliwia] What?
- What's wrong?
Halina's not making cheese anymore,
so she said we could use this area
for moonshine. Is that a problem?
Well, we could make a deal.
Sounds good.
I need a mechanic here.
Do you know of any?
Wiesia's cousin's brother-in-law works
in a garage as a mechanic in Wielka.
Well, hurry up and ring him,
or call him down. Quickly.
In a while.
He won't be up until noon after last night
when he went to
the christening after party.
Oh, I mean, can you just
make sure he comes today?
We can, but
there should be some benefit
to both sides in this deal,
- and discuss...
- No problem. What's the cost?
Not money No.
[both spit air]
Our price is this. Sugar.
- Sugar?
- Halina keeps a stockpile. Loads of sugar.
Whole cupboards-full.
Oh fine, take it.
Yes!
Alright! Yes!
- Yes! Halina's sugar!
- Heiress, wait!
Sit back down, Oliwia.
- We want to ask you something.
- Yeah, join us.
We
we thought you might be able
to help us put to bed a
dispute.
So we can figure out who has
the better moonshine, yeah?
It's important 'cause
we're gonna be starting a business,
- and gotta choose what to sell people.
- That's right.
- I'll help.
- Yeah.
This is plum.
Not bad.
Apple.
That's not bad.
But mixed together, it's amazing.
Mixed together. That's it.
- Why are you pouring that in there?
- We're mixing them. Drink it.
[sniffs]
Okay then.
[gulps]
Oh, that's so good!
[sighs] It's so good mixed together!
It set me on fire.
[inhales deeply]
- We should mix it!
- We should mix it!
- Brother, good job.
- You I love you.
Where could they possibly be hiding?
If I catch 'em all messed up and drunk,
I'm gonna teach 'em a lesson.
- [man 2] Brother, with this much sugar,
- [man 1] Eh?
We can probably brew at least 10 liters.
What? Were you sleeping during
your math class or something?
What's wrong with you?
You're always arguing.
Get over it.
- [man 2] Just whining.
- Are you seeing this?
She leaves for one day, and you're
already stealing her sugar.
We're not. The heiress said
that she wanted to help us out.
Yeah, we managed to create a real
empathetic connection with her.
[man 1] Yeah.
Empa-what?
Seriously, read a book.
Do a crossword puzzle
or something like that.
Then you can build a vocabulary
that's quite robust.
Dumb and dumber.
If only brains could grow
more robust with empathy.
What are you two up to?
What's with the sugar? What is it?
- Well...
- Just listen, my sweet, gorgeous angel.
We can explain everything.
I'm waiting,
but you better not try to fool me again.
[food sizzling]
[Halina sighs]
It's better if you can mix faster.
Like this.
- Uh
- Here.
[knocking on door]
One second.
[knocking on door continues]
What's wrong?
Is Halina here?
Halina.
- Halina.
- [Halina grunts]
Oh.
Something wrong?
Yeah. My idiot husband
And mine.
even more of an idiot.
They're making deals with Oliwia.
- And I think it might...
- We think it might.
We think maybe it's not
so good for you, Halina.
Tell me.
Uh
We realized that we don't actually
know any mechanics around here after all.
- That's all.
- That's all.
[scoffs] Well, wait a second.
[blow air]
Listen, guys.
You promised me something.
We prefer not to get
into trouble with our wives.
Boss' orders. Forgive us.
What are they hiding, Dumpling?
[Dumpling snorts]
[upbeat music playing]
[exhales]
[goats bleating]
Hey!
Line up right now, all of you.
Thelma.
Louise, stop.
Give up.
I'm begging you now. Just give in.
Okay, milking time.
Follow me, please.
[billy goat bleats]
There. Come on.
[music fades]
- Hands up. Now!
- Ah!
Jesus. My God.
That made me feel so much better.
Here.
I'm headed towards the dairy
for an intervention. I can take it.
Really? What's going on there?
Some women got their
beehives mixed up or something,
and they can't figure out whose are whose.
Do you have taxis around here?
You're kidding, right?
You hate money so much,
you'd throw it all away?
I've never called a taxi for someone.
Plus, nobody's comin'
all the way out here.
Then how do I get to Biaystok
to catch the train?
I'm gonna call someone to tow my car,
but I've gotta be at work tomorrow.
Maybe you do, maybe you don't.
You've got no kids at home.
Stay for a while, you'll be happy you did.
Why are you in such a rush?
Oliwia,
I've watched all those cooking shows.
They say "It's too sweet."
"Not enough pepper."
It's difficult, Oliwia.
It's a tough job.
[Matylda sighs]
I guess
I do deserve an actual break.
See? There you go.
[exhales] Call the head chef.
The head chef?
- About what? Jeez are you okay?
- Tell him you're sick. [coughs]
That you have the flu or something.
My friend Jagdka
sometimes tells me that, and it works.
Sometimes it works.
[Matylda panting]
Ah! Wait a sec
Almost forgot what I came here for.
[exhales] The mailman left that
yesterday at my place.
This is, uh for Halina.
I'm not gonna look at it.
Your grandma said
to leave everything with you.
Cause she said that the
farm is your responsibility now.
Hold on, stop.
When did you talk to her?
It was before.
"We request, on behalf of Herbal World,
a settlement of 25,000 zloty
to be transferred.
Payment is due 30 days
after receiving this notice."
That herbal fucker!
[coughing]
[wheezing]
[man] Come on.
What are you trying to pull?
I'm sorry, Robert, I got hit
real hard with something out here.
[coughing] I'm bedridden.
This has to be some
some local strain of the flu or something.
[coughs]
I knew you wouldn't be back
in time. I could feel it.
This farm
You have every right to be mad.
I didn't plan for this. I'm sorry.
I'll find a replacement.
Oli, I miss you around here.
For the past five years,
you've always been
by my side.
Stop it, or I'll start crying.
Just admit the competition
wants to poach you, right?
How much did they offer you?
[laughing]
Robert, where else would I find
an empathetic boss like you?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Don't try to soften me with compliments.
I promise, I'll make it up to you.
[Robert sighs]
You've got a week.
Thank you, Chef.
I'm sorry about the coughing.
[Dumpling whinnies]
[Dumpling whinnies]
[Oliwia] Grab the shovel
and go get some water.
- Hello, Kuba.
- Hello, Alicja.
Oh, how is Micha?
He's doing great, thank you.
[woman] Where's the basil plot,
'cause I can't find it.
[man] Someone rake those leaves!
You can't get through here!
How was it?
[inhales deeply]
[Kuba] A disaster.
No.
We made a deal.
The Warsovians wanna put up money
for the herbal cafe in Biaystok,
- plus in the capital, and Lublin.
- Yes! Yay!
That's amazing!
They do want to visit before signing.
Well then
we're celebrating tonight.
Oh, you!
Whoo!
- Ah! Not giving up that easily!
- Yeah?
- Yeah!
- [woman laughing]
No. No! [screams]
[woman screams] No!
No, no, no, no, no, no!
[woman screams]
- Hey
- You're wasting water!
Aren't you ashamed?
Uh We are.
We are.
With global warming getting worse,
in ten years,
the water level will drop by a meter!
I guess I'm the only
one who cares about that.
Are we positive that's your dad?
- We get our intelligence from our mothers.
- Ah.
Dads pass down the good looks.
- So you're not my real dad then?
- Oh, you little
[Kuba groaning]
Oh, did you remember
to buy me a milk bottle?
[Kuba sighs]
The newborns eat on their own.
I gave it to a friend who needed one.
- How am I gonna feed Anielka?
- [clicks teeth] We'll make it work.
INN
I've, uh
I think, um
I, uh
maybe I I burned it, sir.
Come on.
Well
I thought you said
you specialized in goose.
Well, the stressful atmosphere
[stammering] it makes it harder
for me to cook.
Well, you have nothing to stress
about now. This is your last day.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Well, alright then.
The pizzeria
in Biaystok is looking for help.
Oh, good luck. Yeah.
I'm gonna be extremely chill
and defrost margaritas
and stuff like that.
Capricciosas, yeah. Mmm.
[chef crying]
He fired me.
Another one?
Yeah, another one.
Oh, I just have the worst luck with cooks.
What if you hired a girl?
Excuse me.
Hello.
Oh, hello.
I came for the owner.
Uh, I'm the owner of the inn,
and the herbs are my son.
Ah. Do you know where your son is then?
You can find him over there.
Thank you.
Have a good day.
You too.
Have you seen her before?
No.
Wojtek.
Do you know where your boss is?
What's wrong?
How could someone harass an old lady?
Um, there's actually a reason
for all of this.
Oh, you're defending him?
- No, no, I'm just, uh
- Just tell me where to go.
He he left for the day.
Are you for real?
His father told me that he's here.
[Dumpling nickers]
Oh.
Ah?
- [Wojtek] Pretty good, right?
- Wojtek
Would you pretend around
this one girl that you're me?
[Wojtek scoffs]
- Kuba, that's not how you do it.
- You don't understand.
I made things a little complicated.
I'll make it right, but for now,
You're name is Kuba Wolak,
the owner of Herbal World.
Just keep saying "yes" no matter what.
Yes.
Yes.
Aren't you ashamed?
Dragging an old woman
into court like that?
Yes?
I'm sure you have enough money.
You have to take more from Halina?
Yes.
It's funny to you?
Yes.
Sir, wait
M maybe you could meet with Oliwia
this evening at the Inn
to talk things over.
Remember, you wanted to make
things right with Halina?
I think it might be best if you settle.
Yes.
[Kuba sighs]
Is he a bit nutty?
Oh, he's been working on this new shampoo.
He's just inhaling all of these vapors.
[Oliwia sighs]
[Kuba exhales] Still though,
uh, you should come
to the Inn this evening.
It'd be good to put the fire out. Hmm?
I suppose, yeah.
You know, my car still won't start.
Yeah?
So then you're staying longer?
That's great.
Hey, good morning.
[man 1] Praised be.
Good morning.
Me and my brother
want to apologize.
We don't like how things
turned out this morning.
We didn't want you to assume
people from Poldasie aren't honorable.
We would have found you a mechanic,
but our wives make all the decisions.
You know how it is.
I have to agree with my brother here.
So how about it?
Oliwia, are we good?
We're good.
C'mon, get inside.
- Oh!
- Oh! We're good.
Oh good, good, good.
Ah. For you.
- Ah. You didn't have to.
- Ah, we didn't have to, but we wanted to.
- Thank you.
- It's all yours. Thank you.
- Sit down.
- Ah, why not?
[man on radio] A little reminder
for those who like to party.
We're getting ready for
the Bodki village fair.
We warmly welcome every single one of you.
And now a song from your favorite
Songbirds from Bodki.
- You should have some.
- Oh, yeah?
[song in Polish playing on radio]
What do you think of it?
- Mmm.
- It's not bad.
- Mmm.
- It's just
more sophisticated.
But, uh
it would be even better
with ketchup and cheese.
Tell me, gentlemen.
Do you know what's going on
between Halina and Herbal World?
It all started with Mister Wolak,
who is Kuba's father,
coming into possession of Halina's meadow.
Is that right?
That meadow's where he grows his herbs.
Your family was raised on that land.
It's special.
And after that, your mother
sold the land against Halina's wishes.
Never knew
- that's what the fight was about.
- Mmm.
I remember them fighting,
but Mom never said what it was.
Just that we wouldn't come here anymore.
I think Halina should sell
the rest of that meadow.
She could pay off her debts and then,
uh, and that'd be that.
He's exactly right.
All of these, uh, settlements
and lawsuits are driving her crazy.
You're gonna make her an offer.
You'll agree to let go of all the damages
if Halina stops filing complains
against me, slash you. Got it?
- Kuba, should I be calling you "Wojtek?"
- Yes.
- And I'm the chairman?
- "President" sounds a bit better, babe.
Good evening.
Good evening.
You're a waiter here too?
Gotta find a way to fund
this lifestyle somehow.
Wojtek.
Have a seat.
I've got a proposal.
Ah, oh no.
No business talk before
we have ourselves a drink.
Am I right, Wojtek?
Wojtek.
I keep him here because
he's a really good man.
It's just sometimes he's a little slow.
So, are we just gonna wait for you?
Go on. Bring us some menus.
Right away, sir.
- President.
- [Kuba] President.
Thank you, but I really
didn't come here to eat.
I'm putting up all of the land
for one-hundred-fifty-thousand, let's say.
Does that work?
Yes. Uh, I really like your proposal.
- It's a deal.
- Are you out of your mind!
He made life hell for your grandma,
and you wanna sell him the land?
What happened to your values?
Well, I went insane once, but that was
after some pretty crazy moonshine...
Stop! Come on.
Come on. Now.
Hold up. Halina needs the money.
Well, she can earn it.
And get back into cheese making.
- But the Health Department banned her.
- Oh, everything can be worked out.
Kurek?
Wojtek Kurek.
Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.
Apologize for the interruption, or I'll
have no other choice but to fire you.
Please, Mr. President.
[scoffs] I'm surprised you kiss up
to him, especially after this.
Let's not get carried away.
Wojtek is like a
personal footrest to me.
Oh my God, no. Oh jeez. Oh jeez.
You found my son, from the looks of it.
Did you manage to make a deal?
Hey there, Dad.
Wojtek, I love you like my own,
but I swear to God
Wait, so this is Kuba then?
Yeah. Am I losing it?
- Oliwia, I planned on telling you...
- Daddy!
Look at this little guy
that I just saved with Grandpa.
He was lost, wandering by the road.
- Can we keep him? I named him Maciu.
- Tola, I've gotta talk to Oliwia.
There's nothing to talk about.
It's all really clear.
So cute.
I wish I could take him, but I have
a little goat at home to look after.
A little goat? Can I please come see her?
[scoffs] You're always welcome.
Halina Madej's farm.
Hold on, hold on.
So
Um, who are you to Halina?
You should ask your son about that.
What'd you two do now?
You pair of jackasses.
[somber music playing]
[Dumpling snorts]
Mister Jan.
Mister Jan.
Mister Jan!
What? Is there a fire?
You with someone?
No. Who'd be here right now?
I go to bed with the chickens.
Yeah, but I saw a woman
through the window.
[Dumpling neighs]
You don't think I'm a little old?
Stuff like that could put me in the grave.
[Oliwia scoffs]
[door closes]
Around here, it's inappropriate
to visit people at this hour of night.
I won't be long.
Why did the Health Department
shut Halina down?
There was an inspection.
Mmm.
Some horrible woman came down.
She kept talking about how, uh
your grandma didn't have the right papers.
Those people worship papers.
[banging from room]
That that that's my dear mother.
She haunts me
for never marrying or having a family.
[door opens]
Halina!
What was I supposed to do?
I've only ever loved one woman.
[scoffs]
Sleep well.
[door opens]
[Dumpling galloping away]
[panting]
Ay, yai, yai, yai, yai.
It looks like you're gonna need
some lotion rubbed on you, huh?
I'm sure you'd love that.
Just to help me, I'm sure, right?
- Did you hear that?
- What?
She's becoming interested in cheese now.
I knew that woman would
soak up the country like a sponge.
Come on, come on, come on, come on!
- Pour us some liquor, alright?
- You're sure you don't have
an itch on your back, huh?
What an old pervert you are. Shoo, shoo.
My intentions toward you
are nothing but pure.
I would marry you tomorrow.
Uh.
Ha.
[Jan laughs]
Oliwia.
Come have dinner.
No, I don't want to be a bother.
Not at all!
Daniel!
Kids!
Set the table, we we've got a guest.
Auntie, could I visit you in Wrocaw?
I'd love to have you, sweetheart.
The whole family's always welcome.
If you're leaving, then
what happens to the farm?
Farming's never been what we asked for.
It's the whole reason we're stuck here.
But we're happy,
and we've got all we'll ever need.
[Matylda chuckles]
The only fun thing here's the fair.
- No duh
- Careful, now.
Excuse me, ladies, but, uh
it's time for me to put the kids to bed.
Come on, my little ducklings.
It's time now.
[Daniel] Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
Go.
- Bye, Mom. Bye, Auntie.
- [sister] Bye, bye!
- Goodnight! Sleep well, my love.
- Bye, girls.
Mmm.
You're having that?
Get the wine.
Now, tell me what's going on.
I don't even know where the hell to start.
From the beginning.
[Oliwia sighs]
One round down.
Cheers.
[exhales]
Now I'm ready for it.
I am a girl from Podlasie
With an apron to my knees
- Down with the herbal dickhead!
- Um
And down with all the dickheads
in the entire universe.
Oh.
Hey, he's still pretty fine, right?
[Oliwia scoffs]
Nothing crazy.
- Right, Dumpling?
- Ah, no, no, no, cut it out.
You thought he was handsome for sure.
Wait, who's the mother of his child?
I don't know.
I don't know because Kuba
He's like
He keeps everything to himself
and never lets go of anything.
Hey
At the fair you can sell cheese,
can't you?
Yeah, yeah.
I'll wink at one of them
And nudge the other one
Amanda wants to say hi.
And hello from Maciu.
- How was the operation?
- Everything's super.
She's feeling much better.
You're the best. I was rooting for you.
I know my love. I felt it.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Hi. Tola, I'll be there in a couple
more days. Can't wait to see you.
I know. I love you, Momma.
I love you too. Bye.
Amanda, say "bye".
Say "bye".
- Bye.
- Bye.
Did you make things right with Oliwia?
[inhales and exhales deeply]
It's a little complicated.
You know a lot of things.
You give people herbal mixtures
to help them,
but you just can't help yourself, can you?
I'm gonna make a mixture
to make you less of a smart aleck.
[Tola chuckles]
I like Oliwia.
I see why you're in love with her.
How do you know that?
I guess I got my mind-reading skills
from my mom too, huh?
Shut your mouth, you smart aleck.
Quiet. It's so late.
Oh yeah, well here.
- Boosh.
- Ah!
- [Kuba] Ah.
- [woman] What was that for?
[all laughing]
[Kuba] Why, you!
APPLICATION
CHEF
Made a new herb mix for you.
It's for your pipe.
You let go of another cook?
Why don't you mind your business, okay?
We're hosting the investors.
It'd be nice to be able to feed them.
Well you did make an apology
to Oliwia, right?
- Not yet.
- You lied to her.
Didn't you?
Well?
Yeah.
Right.
Why don't you go apologize like a man?
[guitar playing]
Give me this night
Only one night
Give, give, give
And gesture Him this night
Only one night
Wojtek?
You'll send me to her
as a musical telegram to say sorry, huh?
- You're out of your mind, aren't you?
- No, sorry, not today.
I've seen this in movies.
Kuba, it works.
Well, a sibling for Tola would be great.
Oh come on, you guys.
It would be a shame for genes
like yours to go to waste.
Come on, you should be fruitful.
Hear that?
Wojtek, you can make some sense.
If you really put your mind to it.
Fist bump.
[Wolak laughing]
You guys.
[somber music playing]
RECIPES MY GRANDMA'S AND MINE
HALINA MADEJ
WHEY RECIPE
[Halina] Oliwia
my beloved granddaughter.
I've sent so many letters to you.
Same old, same old with me, sweetheart.
I only have one granddaughter
and my heart breaks with regret that you
weren't with me for another summer.
Winter is just around the corner,
and Christmas is coming.
And I'm sad that you're not with me.
And Santa will probably
stop by with a gift for you.
RETURNED TO SENDER 27.04.2006
I hope you enjoy it.
The storks arrived when spring started.
Dumpling has grown up,
and he told me to send you
his best wishes.
We're waiting for you here.
It feels like everyone's so happy-go-lucky
except for me, my darling.
I miss you.
And I keep looking forward
to any letters from you.
Scribble a few words for your old gran.
GRANDMA
[goats bleating]
I love you, kiddo.
My beloved little star.
My deepest love, Gran.
These these letters
never made it all the way.
[goats bleating]
[engine turns off]
[Ela] What are you doing here?
Oliwia and I have something to discuss.
Mm-hmm.
Halina won't be too thrilled
when she finds out you're seeing
her precious granddaughter at midnight.
In my opinion,
people should be sleeping at this hour.
In their own house.
Have a good night, then.
Have a good night.
[adventurous music playing]
Something here for me?
I've got news for Halina, and it's bad.
What happened?
I just found out Oliwia is having
a romance with her arch nemesis.
No she's not
Not a word about this.
- What? I...
- She might have a nervous breakdown.
And we'll have a funeral for real.
[sighs]
I'll take care of it.
[blows]
[adventurous music ends]
[car door closes]
- Hello.
- Hello.
[Oliwia grunts]
Filing a complaint
on someone else now, you snitch?
I get you're not happy to see me.
But I got you a permit to sell cheese.
What's this?
[Kuba] Read it.
You must know people.
The inspector shuts down Halina,
now all of a sudden the ban's lifted
with one little word from you?
Look I had nothing to do
with the complaint,
- and the chief buys herbs from me.
- Yeah, right
- Hi, Oliwia.
- Hi.
This time, I'm driving.
Fine then.
[melancholy music playing]
[Halina] A full liter of milk will yield
about a quarter wheel of cheese.
It's best if the milk is salted.
[Oliwia laughs]
[Halina] When it starts bubbling,
remove the pot from the burner.
For an authentic taste,
squeeze lemon juice on it.
But just a little bit.
A little bit will go a long way.
And most importantly
Give him this night
Only one night
Give, give, give him this night
Only one night
What's happening?
From Kuba. An apology.
He said to come here?
It worked, right?
Eh
Not really.
I had a hard time
deciding which song to use.
Can you please stop?
No salt?
Needs more salt.
[Oliwia exhales]
Yeah, you forgot to salt it.
What do you want with Oliwia Madej?
It doesn't matter.
She wants nothing to do with me anyway.
I can tell that you're smitten
with that girl.
I really screwed this one up, didn't I?
Your stomach's got butterflies
from our dear Oliwia, I see.
Well, yeah, because she's great. Special.
You're a bonehead.
You were about to settle everything
with Halina.
I'm not sure if Halina
would've been happy.
And plus,
she was the one who started this.
She sued me, and when I wanted to settle.
That woman wouldn't let it go.
I won't let you disparage
my little dumpling.
She's a firecracker,
you're right about that.
Maybe there's a chance
for something between you and Oliwia, huh?
Two are needed to tango
Bodies in unison and eager heart
Two are needed to tango
That's how this world was designed
[burps] These cheeses have no flavor
compared to Halina's eh?
Yeah. And I thought
you were this fancy chef.
- Ooh, fancy...
- Gentlemen.
Goat cheese isn't my specialty, okay?
I'm still learning.
I'm joking, I'm joking.
Whatever, whatever.
Take me, it will be wonderful
I got it!
Shower me with gold
[goat bleating]
You'll perform.
No, you can substitute for Halina
during the fair. As a singer.
Uh
Nah, I I don't think so.
There's cash.
Oh, yeah?
- Ten grand goes to first place.
- [whistles]
To split.
[Matylda] Ahh but between
Five, six ways. You know.
Alright, okay. That sounds better to me.
I mean we can...
[laughing] Amazing. Good.
Matylda.
What's up?
So, did you find out who called
the health department on Halina?
Oliwia.
I'm working on it, okay?
Hi, Uncle.
Sweetie-pie.
[both imitate a goat bleating]
Can I try some?
Yeah, of course.
Not mind-blowing.
Hmm.
My Dad could spice it up with some herbs.
Kuba's herbs are the best around here.
Yeah, they're the best.
They are the best.
I'm not asking your father for anything.
You don't have to.
You can buy everything you need.
Ah! Words of wisdom from the little one.
[sentimental music playing]
I get why you're angry with dad.
I'd be too.
I feel like such an idiot though.
He fell for you.
And you know what serotonin
does to someone.
Your dad falls in love a lot, doesn't he.
Girls usually fall for him first.
Makes sense.
I guess he's a cool guy.
[Dumpling nickers]
Maybe take it easy on him.
A favor from one woman to another.
Marek, I've been telling you
since the beginning.
Podlasie's no good.
- GPS doesn't even work out here.
- Darek.
What're we doing here? Nature hates me.
In a moment, something's going to
swoop down and carry me off.
Last time I was here,
I got bit so hard by a mosquito,
my face swelled up like a balloon.
I thought I was gonna die.
- Up there. Is is that a stork?
- I see it.
Relax.
Do you see any mosquitoes around here?
Hey. Look at those two.
If a mosquito bit them,
it would totally get hammered.
Hello there.
Hi, gentlemen.
We got a bit lost.
We're looking for Herbal World,
but can't find it.
The GPS, um
went haywire.
Offline.
Keep going straight for a bit, um,
then make a left
there's gonna be a dirt road,
keep going down there,
and that's the quickest way.
Thank you, gentlemen.
You guys are life-savers.
It's better to ask than be lost.
[both laughing]
The Warsovians are coming now.
First, I'm gonna show them the herbs,
and after that we'll have dinner.
What's the new chef cooking?
New chef?
We don't have one.
Yeah, Grandpa's cooking potatoes.
[Kuba] Excuse me?
What are you talking about?
What's this "excuse me?"
- Tola, don't you love Grandpa's potatoes?
- Uh
- [Tola] I do.
- [Wolak] There.
Tola, have you made potatoes before?
[exhales deeply]
I'm gonna ask you a favor.
Um-hmm.
Do I dare ask?
Please help me.
["Night & Day Dreams" by Frdric Auger
& Anastasia Zimmerman playing]
For the first course,
we'll have carpaccio.
Followed by gazpacho.
And for the finale,
we'll present a crab dumpling.
[snaps fingers]
And for dessert?
For dessert
Cheese.
Cheese? For dessert?
Ah, ah, ah, ah
I'm your favorite
Ah, ah, ah, ah
You're mine too
Mmm.
That smells amazing.
- Hey, you're interrupting.
- My bad.
Where are those Warsovians?
[scoffs] Stop snacking.
She's right, Dad, stop snacking.
I called them, but no answer.
My step counter says we did 3042.
Highest in six months.
All that just to get here. [sighs]
- Looks pretty nice in here though.
- [Marek] Yeah, it's nice, it's nice.
You know, um
we're actually not some dive bar,
this is a nice restaurant
with a dress code.
There's nothing nice in this neighborhood.
Uh, welcome in!
Uh
I see you've had quite
a journey from Warsaw.
Nah, what makes you say that?
A nightmare, a nightmare,
nothing but a nightmare.
Me and my colleague
will never set foot here again.
Uh have a seat, gentlemen,
take a load off, please.
How about get us a tow truck,
and then we can have a seat and relax
back in Warsaw?
- What about your investment?
- Look for some other idiots.
I am strongly against
all you Podlasie potato-heads.
How about you have something good to eat?
We're not touching that, no way.
Marek.
Unless we, I don't know,
have a little nibble,
so we have energy to get home.
If I wasn't starving,
I would have walked out already.
A long time ago. Believe me, Darek.
Believe me.
- [Marek] Mmm.
- [Darek] Mmm.
[Darek] Mmm.
Mmm. Well
- Not bad.
- Mmm. Mmm.
You crushed it.
Mmm.
And this is
compliments of our lovely chef.
Thank you.
Wow! We'll have some of it, sure.
[clears throat]
Please give our regards.
Mmm. Give her a raise
with a few zeroes tacked on
because her cooking
definitely warmed our hearts
towards, um, Poldasie.
We'll even stay to have a little peek
at your herbs, I guess. How's that?
If everything around here works the way
that the kitchen does
[exhales]
- I think that we can reconsider our plans.
- Yes.
- [Darek] Marek
- Yeah?
- It tastes like my childhood.
- Yeah, mine too.
And with this presentation. I love it!
[Wolak sighs]
[Wolak] Hmm.
Here.
[Kuba sighs]
Are the Warsovians gone?
I called them a taxi to the station,
and a truck's coming for their car.
- You think we're in business?
- You bet. We firmed up the agreement.
There's someone you need to thank.
- And act like a man!
- I will. Where did Oliwia go?
Oliwia just left.
Go get her.
[melancholy music playing]
[Dumpling neighs]
I wanted to say thanks.
Thank you.
So quiet here.
That's why I love Podlasie.
Kuba!
Kuba, sorry.
[Dumpling neighs]
[woman] I need you for a sec.
Um.
[clears throat]
Uh, give me a minute.
What's wrong?
Your Dad took a shortcut
through the forest,
and now he's stuck
so I need to use your car.
- Wait.
- [Dumpling neighs]
[Dumpling neighs]
Why are you getting all
dressed up, my angel?
The fair's today, and I'm going to support
Oliwia's cheese making debut, Jan.
She'll be fine by herself.
Will you just stop trying to do this?
I wanna see my plan come to fruition
with my own eyes, eh?
You always have to have your own way.
You never let things go.
You have to loosen the reins for once.
No, no.
I'm over this.
- Ah!
- [Halina] Hey!
I'm only gonna ask you once
to put the ladder back right now.
[Halina] Hey, you put
that ladder back up right now!
[Halina sighs]
[Halina] Ugh.
Well?
Well you could be right, I guess.
[chuckles]
Why don't we have
a good time?
Together
Hmm?
- [Halina] Huh?
- Halina.
[Halina] Yeah?
Halina
Halina, I've been waiting
so long for this, my angel.
Halina.
[both laugh]
Halina, my dearest.
Oh, you. No
Yes, Jan, let's go, let's go.
Come on, let's go.
Come on, come on, come on.
[Jan giggling]
[Jan grunts] Halina!
Halina!
[banging on the door]
There. [laughing]
- [Jan] Halina!
- Oh, stop it, Jan.
I'll come back.
Halina!
Halina!
Now that's a firecracker.
Anybody would fall for her.
Oh.
[winces]
Ah. You only live once.
[grunts]
[Polish folk music playing]
Good morning.
This is such a beautiful sign, Tola.
Thank you.
- [Tola] Alright! Let's go shoot arrows!
- [girl] Okay!
- I've gotta get going.
- [Tola] Come on.
I'm the host for today.
Best of luck, my big
celebrity.
[Matylda chuckling]
Look.
- The other one is better. Hi.
- Hi.
Can we talk for a second?
I'll be on my way.
We'll be on our way.
You don't have to explain yourself.
He does.
I'll watch this for you.
- [Oliwia] No.
- Come on.
Ladies. [sighs]
We're a family.
Wow.
Congratulations.
Well, actually
This
is my mother.
And this
is her girlfriend.
Welcome to our patchwork.
- Ta-da!
- Ta-da!
Welcome to the annual
Taste of Bodki Fair.
We've got incredible attractions
for you this year.
Everything from alpacas,
to village housewives singing in choirs.
Now, speaking of the choir
Uh uh, the choir.
[crowd clapping]
[Matylda] You did great.
[horn honking]
Is that Halina?
She's with Jan.
Oh, that's not good.
Bad news.
My biggest enemy is
your friend now, I guess?
- Kuba helped with the cheeses.
- Wait. But, Halina
- [grunting]
- Hey!
- You know he's gonna trick you.
- Hey! Hey!
- He's gonna trick you!
- Knock it off.
- Halina!
- You snitch.
You monopolist dickhead! [screams]
He didn't do it.
It was some lady from another village.
Matylda found who it was.
Halina, why don't we
bury the hatchet over this?
Ha! Hear that!
- He wants to bury a hatchet.
- Come on.
In my head. He's planning my death.
- Let go!
- Ah! Give me that!
- Stop!
- Hey, give me that! Hey!
Quiet!
I'm talking now.
Stop it.
Calm down over there.
I'll talk to Halina myself.
You knew? You never said so?
I knew, and I rooted for them.
Have a taste.
Oliwia and Kuba made it.
It's good.
Not bad.
Almost as good as mine.
- Halina, you can be so stubborn.
- Hmm.
Will you please give it up?
If they end up falling
in love with each other,
Oliwia would stay
right here in Bodki for good.
- We'd have grand babies around.
- Hmm.
We?
Talking about "we," you crazy man.
There was once a golden-feathered hen
The neighbor's rooster
Wanted to pluck her feathers
She wouldn't let him
The doggone thing
I'm sorry about Halina.
I'm used to her by now.
There once was a duck
She was a weird one
Instead of a mallard
She preferred a turkey
She wouldn't let him
The doggone thing wouldn't let him
Let's put all of this behind us.
The goat thinks, what did I do
To be coupled with this old billy goat
And I'll just keep my eye on you.
I'm sure you will.
She wouldn't let him
I'll leave you to it.
The doggone thing
Wouldn't let him
She tells the billy goat,
You wretched thing
Get lost
You're causing the barn to stink
She wouldn't let him
The doggone thing
Wouldn't let him
Is mom getting an apology as well?
The ram goes
My dear neighbor
I won't let a woman
Rule over the world
Is a farm really more important
than your daughter?
Not just any farm.
It's our family's land.
He never stops jabbering at his woman
Go to hell with that old fart
I think I'll give her a call
and see if she's ready to talk to me.
She wouldn't let him
The doggone thing wouldn't let him
I missed you.
- I missed you every day.
- [man] Encore!
You know I missed you too.
You!
To health, my brother.
Brother, you as well.
POWER-IN-LAW
[kissing]
[man 1 grunts]
[man 2 chuckles]
[man 2 clears throat]
And now, here come the harpies.
Hi.
- [Ela] Well.
- [Wiesia] Well.
[Wiesia] Well, well.
[Ela] Well, will you let us try it?
- Oh, sure.
- [Wiesia] Let us try your concoction.
[Wiesia exhales]
[Ela] Good.
[exhale]
- [Wiesia] Eh.
- [man 2] Eh?
- [Ela] Mmm.
- [Wiesia] Eh.
- Eh?
- [Ela] Hmm.
- [Wiesia] Well.
- [Ela] I have to admit.
- That's pretty good moonshine.
- Yeah. Let's let's have another one.
- One for courage. Yeah.
- For courage.
- [Ela] For courage before the show.
- [man 2] Liquid courage.
[man 1] Ah.
[Ela] Ah.
Mi, mi, mi, mi.
- There.
- Mi.
Now you'll be singing "mi-mi" so clearly.
[both laughing]
Now, please welcome to the stage
the Naughty Narew Girls!
Somewhere in the forest on an oak
Pigeons are cooing
I've never known delight
Years are passing me by
I've never known delight
Halina.
Huh?
I heard from a reliable source.
It was Maryla Jura
who sicced the health department on you.
- Maryla?
- Jura.
Maryla Jura?
Right there.
Jura!
Jura!
You sicced the health department on me?
Hear that everyone? Listen up!
We've got a snitch right here.
Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely!
I'm gonna find out who you're bribing
to win all of those awards.
- Oh, you nasty shrew.
- Who was he?
- Stop it right now.
- You witch, you witch. You witch!
- Get off her.
- Come on! I'll show you.
You witch!
A girl was sitting over by the river
Love looked deep into her dark eyes
He asked her if she's willing
If she likes him
Not that he cares
But he probably wasn't the one
Momma, momma, momma warned you
- You'll be alone, Braiding wreaths
- Halina!
- When the moon looks over everything
- Halina!
- You bastard!
- Your lover will not come again
Momma, momma, momma warned you
You'll be alone, alone
Braiding your wreaths
Beauty is like water
It doesn't wait
It just flows away Opa!
[man grunts]
Oliwia, let's go!
Stay calm.
[romantic music playing]
My dad is already planning
a kitchen renovation,
fit for a chef like you.
Kuba.
I can't stay.
Why not?
I already have a life in Wrocaw.
I can't just leave
everything I worked for.
It wouldn't be fair to me.
You can still cook here, you know.
It would be like me trying
to take you away from this place.
Your dreams are here, and mine are there.
And I'm sorry, but I don't
believe in long-distance.
I thought I meant something to you.
I promise you do.
[Dumpling nickers]
[Oliwia chuckles]
POWER-IN-LAW
[Oliwia chuckles]
[both imitating sheep]
[music swells]
Why don't you go after her?
That's not how it works.
She has to want to come back.
You should've used, like,
some sort of love potion.
She's immune.
[Oliwia] I'm gonna miss Bodki.
But, you know
I have to go home.
It's better this way.
It has to be, right?
Maciek, watch the onions, please.
Thank you.
Mmm.
Mmm.
[chuckles]
What's wrong?
Podlasie?
You got hooked on that place.
Okay, fine, I'll give you a raise.
And two free weekends a month. Okay? Hmm?
I think I'm gonna need more than that.
Maciek.
Why don't we step outside?
Just don't mess it up for her.
Cooking food.
That's the life you chose.
And you love it.
- Of course.
- So? What happened?
Well, now I'm in love.
Well
that passes.
You, of all people, know how
many times I've been in love.
Cooking food, that's our true love.
Do you regret it sometimes?
Mmm Maybe.
Well, sometimes.
I don't want any regrets.
Well fine, then.
[Dumpling neighs]
Maybe you could take a break for a while?
Lunch break.
[Dumpling snorts]
[Oliwia] And that's how I found my place.
My people.
Man, life is pretty sweet.
[upbeat music playing]
Out there, somewhere to go, girl
Somewhere, there's places to hide
Oh yeah, you gotta know, girl
Your feelings ain't right
You keep holding on, girl
But he is reading your lies
You know something ain't right
Oh yeah
You gotta let it go, baby
Let it go
Gotta let it go, baby
Let it go
Gotta let it go, baby
I see he's pushing you out, girl
You feel he's pulling you back
You know something ain't right, girl
You gotta let it go, baby
Let it go
Gotta let it go, baby
Let it go
Hey
You gotta let it go, yeah
Oh yeah
You gotta let it go, yeah
Gotta let it go, baby
Oh yeah
You gotta let it go, yeah
Oh yeah
You gotta let it go, yeah
You gotta let it
Go, go, go, yeah
You've got to make him your life, girl
Oh yeah, it's gonna be easy
You've got to find a guy who's kind
'Cause he knows how to treat me
Let it go
Gotta let it go, baby
Let it go
Oh yeah, yeah
Ooh, ooh
You gotta let it go, yeah
Oh yeah
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah
You gotta let it go, baby
You know you gotta
Oh yeah
All right, go on
Ooh, ooh
- Gotta let it go, baby
- Yeah
[song ends]
[upbeat music playing]
[music fades out]